#i have recieved literally no hate that’s SO RARE FOR ME | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewintersoldierdisaster · 10 months ago

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a/n: happy valentine's day! the long teased sex in/on the lambo fic!!!! i had a hell of a time writing this for whatever reason and i’m sure it shows and this fic sucks but just be nice to me lol. literally just happy to have finished this and to share it with you guys since you’ve been super patient for it!

word count: 4.9k

tw: fingering (f recieving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, slightly mean andrei, exhibitionism, car sex, mild breeding kink, creampie

summary: date night with andrei gets raunchy when you decide to be exhibitionists.

You yawn, your head rolling a little to the side and the top of it bumping slightly against the glass of the window. Maybe that third cocktail was a bad idea. You hate that you’re falling asleep so early on date night - they’re so rare during the season and you usually try to maximize your time with Andrei before he’s back at the rink or on the road. The glass is cool against your cheek and suddenly, Andrei’s hand is warm and heavy on your thigh.

“Mmm, sorry,” you mumble around another yawn. You roll your head the other way and look at him with heavy lidded eyes. As much as you think Andrei’s car is hideous, you can’t deny that it’s a smooth ride, even with the slightly insane way Andrei drives.

His answering chuckle is low and amused. “My little solnyshka is sleepy?” His thumb traces a lazy arc over your bare thigh, sending goosebumps rising over your skin. You shiver, despite the heat pumping through the car, and blink at Andrei. A languid smile stretches across your face.

“I’ll rally,” you promise, licking your lower lip and shivering again when Andrei’s hand starts sliding up your thigh. His palm is broad and warm on your skin, slightly rough.

Andrei’s gaze is focused on the road, his profile coming in and out of view from the passing headlights and streetlights. The corners of his lips curl up a little and you know immediately that he’s up to something. You’re warned from his expression, and yet it’s still a shock when his hand slides up your thigh, the blunt tip of his pinky finger swiping lightly over the crotch of your thong. You gasp at the delicate touch, your stomach clenching. Andrei’s face remains passive while he drives, his left hand steady on the steering wheel. The side of his pinky presses more firmly against your thong and the fabric grows damp.

“Andrei…” you mumble his name, biting down on your lower lip. You’re wide awake now.

He says your name in the same tone, chuckling a little. The Lamborghini glides to a smooth stop at a red light and Andrei’s hand disappears under the short hem of your dress, his fingers wrapping solidly around your upper thigh and squeezing. You clamp your thighs closed around his hand, keeping his fingers trapped in place. He wiggles his pinky a little against you, slipping it underneath the lacy fabric and letting it glide against your heated, wet skin. Your head drops back against the headrest when the tip of Andrei’s finger ghosts against your entrance, your empty cunt clenching around nothing.

“So wet,” he says quietly, stepping on the gas. “For a girl that was so sleepy before, your cunt is wide awake.”

His finger prods gently at you and your legs fall open slightly, constrained by the fabric around your thighs. It’s enough for Andrei to slide his ring finger under the hem of your thong too, pressing two thick fingers into you easily. You gasp his name, reaching down to hold his wrist with both of your hands so he can’t move. Alcohol is making your head fuzzy, your body react, and you’re halfway to coming on the Lambo’s leather seats. “I’m going to…” you stutter on the words, Andrei’s fingers curling up inside of you and stroking just the right spot. “Andrei, it’s going to make a m-mess.”

“Good,” he replies, pumping his fingers once and trying to twist his wrist. You squirm against his hand, exhaling harshly. “Make a mess for me, come on the leather.”

He pinches the inside of your thigh and your fingers flex around his wrist, your engagement ring glinting in the light from the passing stoplights. “Andrei…” you gasp his name, clenching around his fingers and holding his wrist close to your cunt. He curls his fingers again and pumps them shallowly, lazily. Heat builds low in your stomach and you grip against his hand, shifting low in the bucket seat, the hem of your dress riding further up your thighs.

“Solnyshka, we have only five more minutes in the drive,” Andrei warns you, a rough, strained edge to his tone. When you look over, his left hand is white knuckling the steering wheel and the front of his slacks are straining against his cock. “Be a good girl and come for me, make a mess. I’ll send the car for detailing.”

The thought of the people in the Lamborghini dealership or maintenance center or whatever place Andrei brings his car for detailing knowing that you came all over the front seat of the car sends a thrill running through your body. Combined with Andrei’s thick fingers, you’re brought to a hard and fast orgasm, your thighs trembling while his fingers work. You groan his name, babbling incoherently through the waves of your orgasm, digging your nails into Andrei’s skin. His thumb swipes over your skin and he praises you the entire time you come, never taking his eyes off the road.

When you slump, boneless, back into the seat, a self-satisfied smirk stretches across Andrei’s face and he swings the steering wheel to pull the car into the driveway. His pinky and ring finger are still lodged up in your cunt, his other three fingers stroking softly at the skin of you inner thigh. “My beautiful girl,” he says, turning the car off with his left hand - an awkward movement made incredibly hot by your sexy as sin fiancé. “Not so sleepy any more, is she?”

“No,” you giggle weakly, “not sleepy. Wound up and horny for sure though.” Your heart beats wildly in your chest and you clench around Andrei’s fingers. You can feel your body drip around his hand, wetness sticking to your skin and the fabric of your thong.

“I can help you out,” he grins, pulling his fingers from between your legs and sticking them in his mouth, sucking, as he climbs out of the driver’s side door. You watch him come around the front of the car, your stomach fluttering when he winks at you, flashing a glimpse of his teeth. A shiver runs down your spine - you know that look, you love that look. That look means Andrei is far from finished pleasuring you.

Andrei pulls open your door and squats down so he’s eye level with you. A warm, broad hand lands on your knee and pulls it gently towards him, opening your legs. You go with the movement, turning in your seat so you’re facing Andrei. The center console digs a little into your back, not painfully, just a slight pressure that has you scooting down in the seat and making your legs open further. He’s got his free hand resting on the door and the tips of his fingers trace a lazy path up the inside of your thigh. His eyes flicker over your body, from your eyes down to your chest, stopping when he’s staring in between your legs. Heat touches your cheeks and you feel a gush of warmth between your legs just from Andrei’s look. The crotch of your thong feels almost uncomfortably wet against your skin, chafing a little. The tip of his tongue darts out and wets his lower lip. “I don’t think you made enough of a mess, solnyshka,” his voice is a low rasp, his fingers tightening around your thigh.

“Maybe,” you grin slyly, leaning forward and hooking your fingers under the lapels of Andrei’s jacket, pulling him a little closer, “you didn’t do a good enough job.”

Andrei growls at you and you shriek a giggle, both of his hands coming to wrap around your thighs. He pulls, dragging you out of the seat, your heels clacking against the stone driveway. “You’re playing with fire, solnyshka,” he warns, hauling you to your feet and crushing you against his front. The ridge of his erection presses against your stomach, hard and hot and straining against the fabric. His hands slide down to your ass and he squeezes, hard, making you yelp and jerk up against him. The movement presses you more firmly against his cock and your stomach flips with arousal.

“What are you going to do about it?” You goad him on, exhaling sharply when one of his hands moves again, finding its way under the short hem of your dress and grasping your bare ass cheek. His fingers dig into the soft skin, the tips of his fingers grazing against the lace of your thong. He snaps the string slightly and you jump again, lifting up against him. Your palms are flat against his chest, resisting the urge to curl into the soft fabric of his jacket.

Andrei dips his head to your ear and bites the lobe, his teeth sharp. “I’m going to make you scream,” he murmurs into your ear, kissing the sensitive spot just behind it. He holds you close and smoothly steps backwards, closing the car door and shifting so you’re pressed against the side. You barely get a chance to breathe before his mouth is on yours, tongue sliding against the seam of your lips. You open your mouth for him and suck gently on his tongue when he runs it against the inside of your lip. He groans into your mouth and thrusts his hips into yours, pressing you more firmly against the side of the car. Andrei’s hands are all over your sides, pulling the fabric of your dress up. Cool air ghosts against your heated cunt, making you shiver.

He pistons his hips up into yours again and your legs spread a little farther apart, allowing Andrei’s hands easy access. He presses the heel of his palm flat against your damp panties, grinding it against you. You press your lips together tightly, smothering the gasps and moans that Andrei is working to coax from your mouth. “Come on, solnyshka, make those noises that I love,” he whispers roughly, biting down on your collarbone.

“Ah…ah…” you gasp, barely able to form Andrei’s name with your lips, your hands wrapped tightly around his biceps. “They’ll hear,” you manage to choke out, a sharp cry escaping when Andrei slips his middle finger under your panties and into your cunt. You clench around the long, thick finger and Andrei murmurs softly in Russian against your neck.

Andrei chuckles against your skin, hot breath making a shiver run down your spine. “Oh, kotenok, we both know you love that,” his teeth scrape against your pulse point, finger curling up inside of you. Your breath catches in your throat, spots dancing before your eyes, and Andrei slides his ring finger into you, stretching you slightly and making your grip tighten around his biceps. He pumps his fingers slowly, lazily, dragging you to a dizzying orgasm. Pressing your lips tightly together, you make a strangled noise in the back of your throat, trying to stay quiet. Andrei doesn’t make it easy, biting down gently on your bare shoulder and rasping, “come on, let the neighbors know just how good I fuck you, how good I make you feel. Let go, solnyshka, scream my name.”

The heel of his palm presses into your clit and you let out a high pitched keen, spine going taut and then limp when your orgasm rolls through your body. Andrei’s arm around your waist is the only thing anchoring you to the moment, keeping you standing.

He kisses the side of your head, murmuring about what a good girl you are and your thighs clamp together around his hand, trapping his fingers in your cunt. You drip with arousal at the praise and Andrei laughs. “So sweet, my girl. Loves when I tell her how good she is,” he teases, crooking his fingers inside of you and slanting his mouth over yours to muffle the moan that escapes your lips. He presses you harder against the side of the car, your back arching with nothing to support your shoulders since the car is so low to the ground.

“Let’s…let’s go inside,” you stutter, Andrei’s hips pressing into yours, his cock hard against your core.

“No,” he replies, sucking a mark behind your ear.

Your pulse skips a beat and you breathe, “no?”

“No,” he repeats, pulling his fingers from your cunt and pressing on your hip so you half-stumble, half-turn to the side, your stomach pressed against the side of the car now. “I told you to scream my name,” he flattens one huge palm between your shoulder blades and presses, your hands coming up to brace yourself against the hood of the car. It’s warm under your fingers, not hot or uncomfortable, but you shiver, anticipating what’s going to happen. “You didn’t scream, barely make a noise. Now, I have to make you as loud as possible, solnyshka, before you’re rewarded.”

“Andrei…” you murmur his name, choking off in a little gasp when his hands slide down your waist and he flips up the hem of your short dress, a cool breeze hitting your bare ass. “The neighbors…” you can’t manage to get out more than a word or two, not with Andrei’s broad, warm palms caressing your asscheeks, kneading and squeezing your flesh. His thumbs dip low, catching lightly against your wet folds when he cups a cheek in each hand. You gasp, arching your back into his touch. “They’ll see,” you whine.

“They won’t,” he replies, leaning down so his chest is flush against your back. He kisses the nape of your neck. “Too far away to see,” he murmurs over your skin, one hand sliding in between your legs so his fingers can press against your lace-covered clit. You whine low in your throat, pressing your ass back against his hand. “Maybe they hear, if you scream like I want you to.”

“I…no…” you whine, wiggling against Andrei’s fingers. “Gotta face them, s’embarassing if they hear me.”

“Embarrassing that your fiancé treats you so well?” Andrei replies, pulling his fingers from your clit and resting both palms on the meat of your ass. You can’t help yourself and you press your ass back into his hands, yelping a little when he gives one cheek a sharp little smack. He slides his hands up slightly and in the next second you feel him snap the tiny strings on your thong, the scrap of fabric falling away from your skin into Andrei’s hand.

You shiver, “Andrei…”

“Don’t need these,” he says, balling up the fabric and shoving it into his pocket. “Spread your legs, solnyshka.”

You follow the order instinctively, legs inching farther apart, so used to following Andrei’s orders when he takes that tone with you. Cool air touches your soaked cunt and flushed skin and you press harder against the warm metal of the hood of the car. He smooths a warm, broad palm over your ass cheek and leans down to kiss the nape of your neck. All that does is serve to press you harder against the hood of the car, Andrei’s body weight setting your nerves on fire and flooding your body with lust. You lift on your toes, forcing your ass up against the thick bulge in Andrei’s pants, the scrape of fabric rough against your bare ass. You whine his name, grinding against him. “Wanna go inside,” you murmur, “make me come.”

Andrei’s laugh is low and his chest rumbles against your back. The hand on your ass bounces a little, smoothing down over the outside curve of your thigh and you whine because his hands are moving further from where you want them. You try to press your thighs together, hoping for some relief, but Andrei blocks that move with a hard, muscled thigh in between yours. “Andrei!” You wiggle, pushing your ass harder against his erection, thighs trembling as you lean up on your toes.

“We’re not going inside,” he says roughly, pinching your ass. “Touch yourself, solnyshka. Put those fingers to work.”

Your cunt gives a throb at his order, clenching around nothing and arousal dripping down your thighs. Without hesitating, you move your hand from the hood of the car to slip between your legs, your fingers immediately finding your swollen clit and rolling it. A shaky sigh escapes your lips and your whole body slumps against the car while you work yourself over, fingers sliding through your wet folds and dipping into your entrance. Your clit throbs, white hot pleasure flooding your veins with every touch. Every nerve in your body feels overwhelmed, but you can’t stop, don’t want to stop.

Behind you, Andrei watches you work, your arm moving and your fingers occasionally visible from behind. He makes quick work of his belt, the buckle clinking. The sound kicks your heartbeat up a notch, makes your cunt clench around your fingers. Your thighs are sticky and damp and still you work yourself faster. Your thighs shake and you roll your hips over your own hand, chasing release. Your own fingers are barely enough to get you over the edge anymore, not since you’ve been spoiled by Andrei. “Ah,” Andrei clicks his tongue, “I make you come, remember. Slow down.”

You listen, breathing hard and moving your fingers off of your clit. Your fingers drag through your folds slower, resisting the urge to return to your previous pace. “Andrei, please,” you whine, looking back at him over your shoulder. You feel halfway wrecked already, your lower lip trembling in a pout. Andrei swipes his thumb over your lip and you flick out your tongue, sucking his thumb into your mouth. He grunts and taps at your cheek with his other four fingers until you release his thumb with a wet pop.

“I’m taking my time with you,” he mutters lowly, other hand working at the button and fly of his slacks. The sound of the zipper being pulled down makes you shiver and the next thing you know, the hot, leaking tip of Andrei’s cock is running down the seam of your ass. You jump at the sensation, pressing yourself further up the hood of the Lamborghini, your nipples tightening painfully under the fabric of your dress.

The noise that leaves your mouth is half moan, half gasp and all it does is make Andrei chuckle under his breath. He rubs the head of his cock against the lower curve of your ass, between your legs, so close to where you’re wet and waiting for him. The rough edges of his open zipper press into your ass and you jerk your hips forward and back, held into place by Andrei’s other hand locking around your waist. You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek, trying to muffle your noises.

“Louder, solnyshka,” Andrei sighs, almost like he’s disappointed with you. “I told you to be loud and I want to hear it.” His cock slides in between your folds, getting wet with your arousal, but he doesn’t let it touch your clit.

You whimper, brushing your fingertips over the head of his cock, satisfied when you hear the sharp hiss of his inhale. “Andrei…” you hiccup his name, circling your fingers around his cock as much as you can. “Please, please…need your cock.”

He leans down over your back, changing the angle and grinding his cock against your cunt. You’re soaked, he’d slide in so easily, just one smooth thrust. But he won’t, torturing you until you’re as loud as he wants.

“Going to give it to you,” he promises, kissing your cheek and squeezing your breast in one huge hand, nipple pinched painfully tight against the fabric of your dress. “Ah,” he clicks his tongue, “light on in the neighbors.”

Your cheek is pressed against the hood of the car, so you don’t know if he’s being serious or not, but nevertheless, a flutter of fear kicks your heartbeat into gear, even as your cunt gushes even more. Andrei’s hand is between your legs, dragging his fingers through your arousal, letting his heavy cock rest between your ass cheeks.

“So wet,” he teases. “You want them to see, yes? Want them to see me fuck you, you like that?”

“Yes, oh my god,” you yelp. “Please, Drei, please oh my god.”

His fingers are harsh on your clit, pinching and rubbing at it until a high-pitched keen is forced from your lips, your hips pushing backwards against his pelvis. In the next second, before you can catch your breath, Andrei’s lined the head of his cock up against your entrance and pushed into you in one powerful thrust.

“Fuck! Andreiiiii!” You drag out his name on a loud whine, clenching around him, pushing back and fucking yourself on his cock until he’s seated completely inside of you, hips flush with your ass and balls pressed tightly against your cunt. His fingers never relent against your clit and you lift up higher on your toes, jolted forward on the hood of the car when he starts rocking inside of you.

“There you go,” he mutters, pulling halfway out and pushing back in. “Let me hear you, tell me what you want.”

“You, I want you,” you babble, voice shaking as Andrei fucks into you, his cock splitting you apart. Your thighs tremble, ass shaking with the force of his hips meeting your flesh.

“Krasivaya devushka,” Andrei says hoarsely, watching your cunt swallow his cock. “Beautiful, the way your cunt takes me, feels so good, solnyshka.”

Tension coils low in your stomach, heat flooding your veins. You hiccup a gasp when Andrei punches his cock deeper than you thought possible, feeling him in your chest. Your fingers press against the smooth metal of the car, fingertips turning white with the force. “Andrei,” you wail his name, getting louder with each of his harsh thrusts.

“I feel you, solnyshka,” he rasps. “So wet, almost there. Should I go first?” He keeps talking as he thrusts into you. “I should put a baby in you?” His hand slides down to rest on your lower stomach, pressing gently. “Put a baby right here, our secret before the wedding?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant hoarsely. “Do it, Drei. Oh my god, yes, put a baby in me.” You’re not even sure what you’re saying, words falling from your lips nearly incoherently. Your brain is fuzzy with lust, your hips smacking against the car with the force of Andrei’s thrusts.

He groans into your hair, hips never faltering in their rhythm. “Good girl, my good girl,” he mumbles, fading off into babbled Russian as his cock hits deep inside of you, thickening before he comes, hot and wet inside of you. You wail his name, entire body taut against the car while he fills you, pumping shallowly. His hand slides down your stomach and plays with your clit, steady pressure on the sensitive bundle pushing you over the edge while Andrei’s cock is pulsing and throbbing inside of you. You clench around him and angle your hips back, grinding your ass against his pelvis, the zipper on his pants biting into your skin.

Andrei’s hands are firm on your hips, holding you in place so he can fill you, keeping you upright when your knees buckle.

Your cheek flattens against the now-cool hood of the car and you exhale roughly. “Fuck,” you mumble and Andrei chuckles a little behind you.

He smooths a hand over your ass cheek and slips out of you with a wince. You whine at the sudden loss of him, blindly reaching back with one hand. Andrei captures your fingers with his and gives them a squeeze. “Sounded so good,” he rasps, “screaming my name, echoing in the dark.”

“Hmph,” you huff out an exhale. “I need you to carry me inside. I can’t move.”

You can hear Andrei sort himself out, tucking his dick back in his briefs and doing up his zipper and belt. Your cunt flutters, Andrei’s come making a mess between your thighs. He laughs a little and presses a kiss to the top of your head, his body hot against yours, making you shiver.

“Come on, solnyshka,” he murmurs, teasing, “only three orgasms, you can walk.” He hauls you up and back against his chest, one solid arm wrapped around your waist, the other hand tilting your chin to the side so he can press a kiss against the corner of your mouth. Your knees are like jelly, wobbling in time with the throbbing between your legs. You whine in the back of your throat and reach a hand back to cup Andrei’s head, keeping his mouth near yours. Andrei hums against your skin and you press your lips to his, making out with him sloppily, tongues and teeth and spit. Your cunt throbs and Andrei’s cock is pressed solidly against your ass.

His hands are wrapped tightly around you, one big hand over your hip and the other groping at your breast, kneading it through the fabric of your dress. His mouth muffles the moan you can’t hold back when his fingers dip under the top of your dress, rough fingers against the sensitive skin of your nipple. You tremble on shaky legs and Andrei feels it, crushing your back tighter against his chest, keeping you upright. His hand squeezes your breast tightly, bordering on painful, and your cunt clenches, the sticky heat of Andrei’s cum pushed out of you and dripping down your inner thigh.

“Inside, please,” you mumble, breathless, when Andrei pulls back and kisses against your jaw. You’re not sure if you mean for him to get inside of you again or if you want him to bring you inside the house, all you know is he smells so fucking good and your body is hot with pleasure. Andrei’s mouth is hot and wet against your neck and you can feel your orgasm building, just from his hands on your body and his mouth making marks on your skin.

“My girl is so greedy,” Andrei mutters. “Already had three orgasms and still wants a fourth. Going to put you over my knee, need to learn manners.”

Your breath stutters in your chest and a fresh wave of arousal floods between your legs. “Please, please,” you babble, desperate for Andrei to get his hands on you. “C’mon, Andrei, please.”

All of a sudden, Andrei’s hands are gone from your body and you’re left feeling cold until his hands find your hips and squeeze. “Go inside,” he says, orders. His fingers dig into your skin and you have to press your sticky, slick thighs together. He plants a kiss on the nape of your neck and pulls his hips back a little so your ass isn’t pressed against the outline of his cock. “Take that little dress off and put three of your little fingers in that wet pussy of yours,” his accent deepens into a growl, “but no coming until I finish you off, yes, solnyshka?”

You whimper and Andrei scrapes his teeth over the side of your neck, biting gently. He smacks your ass with an open palm and you jolt forward on shaky legs. Andrei’s hands are gone from your hips and you wobble towards the front door, looking back over your shoulder at him with wide, pleading eyes and a pout. He grins back at you and shakes his head, “I told you how I want you, solnyshka. No bending the rules.”

Your thighs glide against each other, Andrei’s come leaking down your skin, and you frown, “didn’t realize I was getting mean Andrei tonight.”

His grin turns into a cock smirk that has your blood thrumming in your veins, liquid heat pooling and dripping down your thighs. “This was not mean,” he laughs, leaning against the car. The fabric at the front of his slacks strains against his cock, the fabric damp from your combined orgasms. He combs a hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead, before reaching down to adjust himself in his slacks. The movement only serves to emphasize the big outline of him. “I will show you mean, solnyshka, if you don’t listen.”

“I’m counting on it,” you flutter your eyelashes at him, giggling under your breath. Andrei’s gaze sears on your back as he watches you totter on high heels and shaky legs to the front porch. Before you can even get the door open, he’s at your back again, chest pressed flush against you, the strong line of his thighs against the backs of yours. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his huge hand wrap around the outside of your thigh, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. His other hand rests against the siding of the house, caging you in against the door.

“You’re wasting it,” he grumbles in your ear, dragging his fingers up your thigh to collect his come before shoving his fingers back up into your cunt with a wet squelch. You moan, chin dropping to your chest, clenching around his fingers as they rub against your walls. The pads of his fingers rub against your g-spot and you squeak a little, the coil of tension in your belly tightening. You grab at his wrist and he flexes his fingers, tendons shifting under your touch.

“A-Andrei,” you breathe, voice high pitched with strain, “gonna, if you — won’t make it.”

Andrei nods against your head and his fingers are gone, your cunt throbbing and empty. You nearly wail, ready for another semi-public orgasm. “Inside,” he kisses your cheek, a threat and a promise in the two syllables. He reaches around you and unlocks the front door, pushing it open before pushing you inside. The door shuts behind you with a quiet snicking noise and when Andrei’s hands land firmly on your ass, you know date night is far from over.

#andrei svechnikov #andrei svechnikov x reader #andrei svechnikov x you #andrei svechnikov fic #nhl fic

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cowboy-robooty · 5 months ago

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In your ItaGer opinion would Nyo!Italy and Germany be switches? (Not asking about Nyo!Germany and Italy because I think Italy likes taking it more than giving it) anyways I AM SANE ABT YOUR YAOI N ITAGERZ PLS NOTICE ME >_<

HELLO. first of all, thank you so much for being so nice to me IT WARMS MY HEART THAT YOU LIKE MY DRAWINGS AND IDEAS >u<. okay now second of all I give tough love and im 100% deadass in my house (my blog) so dont think i hate you because im about to whoop your ass robert freeman style. Now do not be alarmed, but you might have been born with a slight hole in your head. It will be okay. I am asian, I was born to help people with medical issues. You should be put in arkham asylum for thinking italy likes taking shit more than giving it. My boy is a seme okay he likes it because hes GOOD at sex and likes screwing chicks. I think he has uked for a few chicks but its been pretty rare just because he in general prefers semeing since like his entire thing is that he refuses to do anything ever unless its eating, napping, or banging. Then he goes 110 % into it because that shit is his true life passion. Hes good at giving and its pleasurable af for him BECAUSE hes good at it. i dont think hed like recieving because other people arent nearly as good as him at fucking (italy would fuck his clone just to finally get some good strap on dick) and also because like... its hard to receive. without getting too graphic, uke-ing is hard. I dont know how hard it is with the vagina but...... IF ITS ANYTHING LIKE AN ASSHOLE. BEING AN UKE IS NO FUCKING JOKE. at least to my knowledge idk ive never done any of that kind of stuff. it's a literal pain in the ass and italy would not wanna deal with all that when he can seme and feel the exact same satisfication and happiness with no pain or discomfort after.

ANYWAYS. sorry needed to get that out of the way. i think all versions of italy are semes so ofc nyo italy is the seme as well! I do not think itager switches because i dont think italy has a desire to switch because if he uked hed go ohhh my god... i wish germany was below me instead of above me rn and just make that happen. and germany has no desire to switch because he only really cares about the emotional bond together and is most concerned about making italy happy because hes sentimental about the love aspect. This is something many already know, but ill restate in case anyone is new here. I actually believe that itager never bangs. I think they want and very much desire to, it's actually just that the universe and cartoon logic hates them. Because I think all hetalia characters and ships have banged except itager and it's comical because everytime they are about to finally get to it some comically circumstance happens that blocks it or ruins it or something like that. They get all the way to almost banging, but never pull through because it's funniest to imagine that the only stable hetalia relationship is also the only one that has never banged ^_^

#ask #itager sermon

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eldritchtaur · 1 year ago

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'Til Death Do Us Part AU

Wow first post into the Cult of the Lamb tag!!

or, at least, I think so??

Anyway, time to talk about an AU that we have!!

(real quick to note: Veal, my Lamb, uses He/They/It/Hoof/Sheep/Wool/Gore/Bell pronouns but primarily for this post it's going to be gore/gores)

Essentially, it's pretty canon compliant (Lamb [in this universe named Veal] gets saved by The One Who Waits, goes on crusades to kill the bishops, ect.) up until the matter of "killing" the bishops.

Instead, gore gives the bishops a choice after defeating them: agree to be a part of gores cult, or die. The initial reactions are varied from Bishop to Bishop (which will be discussed) but it boils down to all of them saying "yes".

What started as a way to piss off the bishops (and a small bit of the thought process of "death is too kind for them") turns into Veal ending up falling for each of the Bishops and marries each one of them.

After marrying them, Veal realizes that the task of taking up all the roles of the previous Bishops is too taxing, so restores their powers...partially, with the warning of "if you guys fuck up, I'm revoking your abilities".

All except one.

But that'll be talked about in due time. :)

Soooo let's get started on talking about the bishops!!

Putting everything under the cut for rambling, body horror, and spoilers!

Oh, also before we get into the cut, I used @radicalrainbow's cult of the lamb template for this!! :]

So, we'll start with Leshy, the first Bishop indoctrinated, and the Bishop of Chaos!

To put it bluntly, he's very similar to Narinder in the fact that he's very proud, bitter, and tends to avoid his emotions like a plague unless backed into a corner about them. He also hates receiving help or being perceived as weak, even if it means getting hurt in the process.

His first reaction to being told to join the cult was resigned but extremely bitter about it and, upon joining, would never stop giving barbs that would border on dissenting, but never crossing the line.

When it comes to courting Leshy, it involved Veal finding out that he loved flowers and just gore repeated handing over flowers every time that Veal grew them or found them in crusades in Darkwood. Leshy sarcastically asked if Veal was trying to court him, and after hearing a very serious "yes", started to accept them in a very tsundere "w-well if you took all that time to pick these i might as well take them" sort of way. The way that Leshy "courted" Veal was allowing Veal to help him out more and relying on gore when he needed it.

Next is Heket, the second Bishop indoctrinated, and the Bishop of Famine!

She's very withdrawn and rarely says anything other than small quips and needed instructions/input. She takes Leshy's "not recieving help" and takes it to the extent of she will just do whatever she wants without asking (ex. if she's hungry, she will pick a pumpkin and eat it raw; if she needs mushrooms from Anura, she'll go on a crusade there without asking Veal first). It's not that she doesn't NOT want to talk about her emotions, it's more that because no one asks her about them, she doesn't talk about them. So it's wise to ask her about what she's thinking/about her emotions in order to figure that out, because she will tell it extremely bluntly.

Her first reaction to being told to join the cult was indifferent resignation, viewing it as a "you did beat me in a fight, so you decide what happens to me" sort of thing. In the cult, she does her job, and she does it well. Whatever you ask, she'll do it, no matter whether it's farming or literal murder.

When it comes to courting Heket, it was small thing that Veal did that slowly endeared gore to her. Things like giving her first dibs on resources gotten from crusades, patching her up when she got hurt, and even helping her get to bed when she had worked herself to exhaustion. Heket returned the endearment by starting to run things that she wanted to do by Veal first instead of just acting on them outright.

Up next is Kallamar, the third Bishop indoctrinated, and the Bishop of Pesilence!

He's extremely flashy and prideful, constantly flaunting off gifts that Veal and other cult members have gifted him. He takes a lot of pride especially in his looks, constantly complimenting himself and bolstering his own accomplishments, especially in front of Veal.

His reaction to being told to join the cult was one of relief and delight, as he had begged for his life and didn't want to die. But, upon arriving at the cult, realized that he was Not Prepared to Face Leshy and Heket. He mostly avoided them, instead trying to cozy up to Veal to get "protection" from the other two, which included going on pointless, silly errands for other cult members in Veal's stead.

When it comes to courting Kallamar, it was somehow both incredibly easy and incredibly hard. Because, while it involved giving him attention, gifts, and phrases of endearment, it took awhile for it to register "...oh this is an affection thing?". But, when it clicked, Kallamar showed it back by showering Veal in gifts, attention, and endearment, practically staying glued to gores side unless told to do otherwise.

Here is Shamura, the fourth Bishop indoctrinated, and the Bishop of War!

They are extremely intelligent and witty but also tend to be extremely spacey and dissociative. They tend to do one task at a time because trying to do too many things makes them even more spacey and dissociative. They are extremely forgetful, with the amount that they remember varying from day to day. They have most of their recent memory, but anything pre-injury and anything too "monotonous" gets "lost" extremely easily.

Their reaction to being told to join the cult was mild surprise followed by quick acceptance. They were extremely hostile to Kallamar after joining but mostly focused on helping the most that they could. After all, they were saved out of mercy (in their eyes) so they needed to "repay" that mercy.

Shamura was one of the harder ones to romance, mostly because it involved reminding them it was because gore loved them and not that gore was just doing this out of obligation or duty. After Shamura realized it, Shamura would show their affection by going to gore with a new fact or memory that they knew and telling gore it with vivid details (or as much as they could manage).

And here's Narinder, the fifth Bishop indoctrinated, and the Spouse of Death and Love!

He's very angry, bitter, and extremely wish-washy, sometimes being like "I can totally be mature" and then the next minute getting into a fist fight with Leshy because Leshy called him a bitch. He has a lot of guilt and emotions that he hides behind a shit ton of anger issues and grumbling.

His reaction to being told that he was going to join Veal's cult was to laugh and call Veal a fool. Well, the laughter ended quickly when, not long after they arrived back at the cult, gore married him a few days later, and works as the second in command of the cult.

There wasn't a "courting" period, more accurately it was a slowburn of "i hate you" "i know 💗" to "...i love you." "...i know. ♥". But, afterwards, Narinder will just quietly snuggle up to Veal when he needs comfort or wave gore over when he needs to tell gore something privately.

And last but not least, we have Veal goreself, the Bishop of Death & Love!

What started as an unwilling contract turned into leading a faith where gore realized gore could take the devotion meant for gores "god" and take it for goreself.

And now, gore has more or less settled into gores new life as a god...but things do get a tad boring, even for a god. :]

And that's everything!!!

If you got to the end of this, holy shit I admire your dedication!! I might not post much about this but if there's enough feedback, I might!!

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danggirlronpa · 1 year ago

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That Sonia/Hiyoko art you reblogged got me thinking. I've always had a soft spot for this ship, but it's not that popular at all, and even the content that talks about it seems to miss what I think is a really big part of the ship: Hiyoko mentioning Sonia in her FTEs. In her FTEs, she is literally so pressed by Sonia's existence, Sonia just... gets under her skin. I think this is in part because she's jealous of her, and also because Sonia makes her feel things she doesn't want to feel. I think the only reason she mentions her dislike of Sonia in her FTEs is and not outside of them because she knows Sonia is well liked and bashing her wouldn't be as well recieved as say, bashing Mikan or Kazuichi or Nagito (rip to them, but mostly Mikan, I'm sorry girl you did nothing to deserve Hiyoko bashing you so much), so she only does so in her final(? If I remember right) FTE after building up rapport with/trust in Hajime. (Which is also sweet—Hajime makes her feel safe. They are like siblings 2 me. 2 Me.)

All this to say, imo, the ideal Hiyoko/Sonia dynamic is Hiyoko anonymously sending a note to Sonia that says "get out of my school" because she can't deal with her Feelings about her.

(Tbh, I also thing this is a good alternative to Mikan/Hiyoko for people who want a "get out of my school" dynamic since it has a lot of the broad appeal points with the added bonus that Hiyoko never actually bullied Sonia—or at least not as viciously as she bullied Mikan. Not to say I don't like Hiyoko/Mikan, the two definitely have their appeal, but I'm just saying that people who may want a similar dynamic of "one sided enemies to lovers" but don't necessarily want the baggage that comes with Hiyoko's targeting of Mikan may find Sonia/Hiyoko to have appeal to them as an alternative.)

But yeah, honestly I'm not sure why the ship isn't more popular. It could partially be because they don't interact much outside of bonus scenes, but we DO get that scene with Sonia suggesting the mirror to Hiyoko which is very sweet of her, even if the suggestion did... turn out badly. And we also get Hiyoko talking about Sonia in her FTEs, something that is sort of rare for FTEs. It doesn't even necessarily have to be a romantic exploration of the two, I'd just like more content exploring their dynamic.

This is a GREAT look at the appeal of Soniyoko!! In general, Hiyoko kind of suffers in shipping material, both because of the semi-popular belief that she is Actually Genuinely Younger Than The Rest Of The SDR2 Cast And It's Problematic To Ship Them (I obviously don't subscribe to this) and because people just don't like her. But there's so many great ones.

Not to be on my bullshit but I'm actually going to take this chance to promo the DR WLW Zine again, because there's a specific piece by Magi (starrylitme on AO3) that completely sold me on Soniyoko in a way that almost no fic ever has.

I don't want to post too much, but I think this excerpt really gets into the fundamental appeal of the ship in general! It's full of the exact kind of "I hate you. Go away. NOT LIKE THAT" that I think this ship can really dig into. And it nails Sonia like nothing I've ever seen. Everybody go support the DR WLW Zine when they have leftover sales. And then go support Magi like right now.

EDIT: I can't believe I forgot to post images of the FTE that anon's talking about. Here's the important bits!

#this is not to distract from your meta its just SO good that i dont have much to add!!#asks #soniyoko #talk to the mod #anon #meta #sonia nevermind #hiyoko saionji #sdr2

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viciouslyfilthy · 11 months ago

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Character Info Sheet

Name: Rotgut

Name meaning: literally just means putrified intestines. Shocker I know /j

Alias(es)/nicknames: La Tripa Podrida (basically his name's meaning but in spanish), Gut, Lust, the roach, little old man, The Thing below Barcelona (by spanish news articles), the cockroach man 'el hombre cucaracha' (by spanish news articles again).

Etchnicity: arab, european hispanic (Iberian Peninsula).

One picture you like best of your character:

Sorry y'all I'm gonna have to break the rules here because I can't just choose ONE picture I like best😔 here we go:

[First (1) image of Rotgut smiling mischievously is not the mun's art; it is a part of an art trade with the artist @crazy-eyed-doggo on Instagram ; second (2) image of Rotgut has been drawn in an exaggerated cartoonish style to re-imagine what the character would look like if he were a villain in shows like Powerpuff Girls/Billy&Mandy ; third (3) image of Rotgut is directly referencing this meme video. Translation: "and in return, you sign your ass, over to me." ; fourth (4) is a video of Rotgut introducing himself, with two drawings put together featuring his voiceclaim.]

Three h/cs you've never told anyone:

Rotgut enjoys crossdressing! He's curious to experiment with his own gender sometimes, either that or he just wants to feel pretty in a different look. (It's one of those rare cases where he will shower and clean himself up NOT because he's expecting to get laid lol)

Rotgut has collected a good amount of objects and trinkets during his 800 years of life. From old coins that you'd find displayed in a museum today; to ancient books (diaries or bibles), jewelry and clothes.

Sometimes he will go on for so long being unclean (we're talking decades) that actual fungi will start to grow on his body/clothes, specifically stinkhorn mushrooms.

Three things your character likes doing in their free time:

Sex and reading porn aside (to the surprise of absolutely nobody) Gut enjoys watching soap operas and reading classic tragic romance books. (William Shakespeare would be his favourite author in this case)

Playing with marbles. Always brings a bag with him if he's going on a trip!!

Try new recipes while cooking. He likes to expand/improve his cuisine. Sometimes asks Cornelius for guidance or tips.

Eight people your character likes/loves:

His kids, all 30 of them but for the sake of this dash game we will assume that counts as one <3

Himself ofc.

August. (his plague bestie!!)

Edgar the Bug (Men in Black)

Jeremiah.

Taryn.

Cornelius/Versy.

Captain Josep Frascona.

Two things your character regrets:

(During moments of self-awareness) he regrets the person he's become now. He knows his behaviour is unlikeable and indecent, because of this ofc most everyone around him hates him or is scared of him- which leads him to not being able to bring his kids out in public (or alternatively, he gives them a bad reputation when they become adults because of who they're related to) because he's scared they might get hurt as a result of people who hate him; he knows it's his fault for this outcome, but he hates everyone around him (that aren't his children) and just refuses to let go. He resents humanity for how much he has been pushed around, mocked and hurt physically in the past for just existing. He doesn't think anyone is worthy of recieving genuine kindness because deep down they're all just as disgusting as he is. This leads to ego and self-importance that makes him feel superior to others because he's not scared of showing just how revolting one can be + he's not human anymore + he's immortal + he can control/speak to hoards of cockroaches.

He also regrets having placed his distaste for humanity so high he's passed it down on his first generation of children. For the most part, this has caused a few of his children to distance themselves from him, like for example Judith and Kolvenik, which hurt him deeply. Kolvenik flat out blames his father and his hatred for humanity as to why he's developed his genetic disorder that has caused him to permanently shed off his human disguise as he got older (which is completely incorrect just to clarify; how Rotgut feels towards mankind has nothing to do with Kolvenik's genetic issue, he just hates and resents his father mostly as a form of projecting his own self-hatred living as a humanoid bug monster that can't have a human form).

Rotgut tries to better himself non-stop when it comes to raising his newest kids, because he wants to see them be happy and make friends and connections, be likeable and be liked by others regardless of what species they are, unlike him. This makes him a bit hypocritical since when he's on his own, he openly goes back to his old ways & antics- with his kids however he just kind of puts on a mask.

Two phobias your character has:

Philophobia -> fear of genuinely falling in love.

Athazagoraphobia -> fear of being forgotten by loved ones/forgetting someone important to him.

Tagged by: @frostcorpsclub

Tagging: ALLLLLL of you👈🤨

#from my mouth to yours ( rotgut )#mi amor ( rotgut aesthetic )#roots from the past ( oc info/backstory )#dash games.

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wadupkev · 2 years ago

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Why I Don’t Share My Birthday

April was by far my favorite month growing up. Selfishly? Maybe, but who doesn’t love their birth month? Mom would make her signature brownies to take to class (back before allergies restricted the love of moms on their children and classmates), I’d be planning my birthday party (maybe even having a co-ed party this year! Eeeeeek!), and looking forward to Christmas round two. April was full of joy, celebration, love, cake, laser tag, sleepovers, hugs, cards in the mail with my name on them, my first crush’s birthday, and all around smiles. It was that way for a long time. I looked forward to it every year.

Celebrating my friends on their birthdays has also always been something I’ve loved doing. I’ve never been the best gift giver, and even though I joked about it above, my birthday highlights were rarely ever the gifts recieved (not that they were bad gifts). Gift giving ranks as my last love language. Scoring a whopping zero or maybe one each time I retake the test to see how closely mine line up with whomever I am interested in at the time. My celebration of others often comes in the way of quality time and trying to make my friends feel loved and celebrated (although I am certainly not perfect at this and I do forget a birthday here and there and am not proud about it). It’s become my favorite question to ask people on their birthdays. “Do you feel loved and celebrated?" We deserve to feel both of those things as humans. Those are two things that I think the world would be better to fully embrace but I also recognize that those two words can mean very different things to very different people so let me break down what I mean when I say "loved and celebrated".

Loved. Feeling loved means having people who care for your well being, sit with you in the suck, party with you on the mountain top, and tell you how it is. They don’t gas you up just because you’re friends, they don’t always approve of your actions (because love and approval do not go hand and hand), and they challenge you to help you grow, not tear you down. Calling a friend in a time of need or even when you haven’t talked in a while, keeping up with your people, being curious and asking questions (a lot of questions!) about their past experiences, current circumstances, futures hopes and dreams, telling them you love them (not “love you”, but “I love you” because we all need to hear that), giving them a hug, saying you appreciate them, spending quality, undisturbed, time with them are all ways to show love. All of these things you can do with people you don’t see eye to eye with. I recognize saying this might bring up some emotions in you, but I want this to be super clear, especially to those of you reading this who claim Jesus and Christianity. I read once that you should “love the sinner and hate your own sin”. We aren’t called to judge. We are called to love. In very few cases are we to even bring up the actions of another to them or the church. You know the whole plank in your own eye scripture right? That applies to you. We are called to love and that means your neighbor who voted a different way than you did and has the sign in their front lawn. That means inviting people in to your home to break bread at the dinner table even though some people at your church might say they shouldn’t be there. That means not only ever spending time around people who believe the same thing as you. Jesus dined with sinners. He had them at the dinner table all the time. He showered them in love. Note that he didn’t sin with sinners, but he ate dinner with them. He spent time around them. He loved them a lot. But guess what? You are the them that he spent time with. And not to rank sin or anything, but he spent time with people who murdered others, who cheated their neighbors, who literally put him to death. To love someone and show them love means to not put a filter over the people that get your love. Otherwise no one really gets the love. And don’t be shy with it. Give it to everyone, all the time. All the love, all the time. Christian or not, our world would look so much brighter with unfiltered love from everyone.

Celebrated. Celebration! To celebrate someone means to honor them! To remind them they are unique, special, loved and needed. Our birthdays are such an amazing time to party with friends in celebration. Party however you chose. Hearing from friends, getting taken to dinner, having a cake made for you, you know the feeling! You can feel it a bit right now just reading those words! It feels so good. Notice that this doesn’t say to celebrate someone means to agree with everything they do. No, in fact, it’s the opposite. It’s putting aside those differences and acknowledging that we all could use to feel celebrated once in a while and it just so happens that we have a birthday every year. However, this should not dictate how many times you should celebrate others or be celebrated. Once a year is far to little. Celebrate the small things. There are two ways to see life. One, as though nothing is a miracle or two, as if everything is a miracle. Joy overflows from a heart ready to celebrate the everyday miracle. Party and celebrate whenever possible.

For the longest time, really up until now, I’ve not wanted to be loved and celebrated on my birthday. Even now it feels a bit weird. As a kid, I loved it. Staying up late with the guys for a sleepover, TP’ing our crushes house, playing Rock Band til 3am, Facebook posts from the random person who you met once at an event years ago, all things I loved to do and experience. In high school, April started getting a little cloudy for me. Things started happening in and around my birthday that made me shell up and made me want to avoid the Facebook posts, text messages, calls and cakes. April 17th, 2011, my grandma on my mom’s side passed away. She was my first grandparent that I remember spending a significant amount of time with. A true legend and a very loving woman. April 7th, 2012, a good friend that I looked up to passed away in a climbing accident. Another rockstar, who loved others so well and pushed me in my faith. April 17th, 2013 a friend of mine that I met and spent time with on a trip to South Africa passed away in an apparent suicide. Someone who made the shock of what we experienced in Africa palatable in a unique way. After the second year in a row in just felt like something wrong was going to happen close to my birthday and it did. It didn’t feel good. I was confronted with death in a way I had never experienced it before. It was hard. I remember vaguely going into college, gathering friends together on my birthday to be around the people I loved, which was great and healthy and should have been what I kept doing, but I started feeling some guilt for celebrating during the time that it felt like I should be honoring these people who had passed. It might sound silly but it was what I was feeling.

Since then it has been something I have forcibly kept quiet. People ask when my birthday is and I try to gauge if its a conversation where they are going to remember after the conversation what I said or not. I would try to get away just with saying “April” hoping that answer would suffice for why they were asking. It often wasn’t enough and I would timidly say that I don’t like to share it. That would typically be met with confusion or more questioning trying to get me to spill the beans. Sometimes people even reach for my wallet to check my ID. As I look back I don’t blame them at all, I really don’t. I myself often try to find out quickly when someones birthday is and try to put it somewhere that will allow me to remember it. I just bought a perpetual calendar and I am pumped about it. I am not scared to use reminders. If you can remember everyones birthday off the top of your head, you’re a genius unicorn. Good for you. I am no unicorn and need all the help I can get. Even then I forget sometimes. But in the moment, for a long time, it was a how-long-can-I-keep-this-quiet kind of topic for me. Coasting through the years, getting a call or text from a few people on my birthday, keeping it a secret from the rest of the people I met was how I operated. I am not super proud of that, but it was how I dealt with the things that happened around that month.

I used my Ironman in 2018 as a crutch to look past my birthday towards another date in April. A distraction of sorts. But since then, I have started to question why I keep the date a secret. It really started with my mom prying and asking why I didn’t share it, asking why it wasn’t on Facebook or why I wasn’t inviting people over anymore. Telling me in the most mom loving way to “Get over it. Everyone deserves to be celebrated”. And after a while I started to believe her. I started to see how if I love to celebrate others, others love to do the same and in a way I am depriving them of the chance to show love in a way that they know how. It was selfish of me to do. We also have been reading recently in book club about the importance of keeping up relationships. How loneliness is an epidemic leading to and a cause of nearly all major diseases. Having and living in healthy community can boost your health significantly. That isn’t just mental health either! Your body will operate better living in rich community close to or in the area you live. Yes, FaceTime is great, but nothing replaces submersion and quality time with people you see daily, that love you for you, who live physically close to you. Boy oh boy is that hard to build as an adult! Isn’t it just easier to have the night to yourself, lock the door, crack open a bottle of wine and enjoy some Netflix? It takes several decisions to get off work and go home to change, take a quick breath and then leave again to do something with people you just met and have no idea if you even like yet while going through the painful small talk that seems to revolve around the same few topics with nearly everyone it happens with. Saying you hate small talk is not a personality trait. It can be painful, but it is necessary in every relationship other than maybe your Uber Eats driver (speaking as one myself). Embrace it and find a way to have fun with it. How many questions can you get in to someone before they ask you something about yourself? It can be fun. Making friends as an adult can be far from fun until it happens or until you find the community that you click with. That you ~vibe~ with. Emphasis added for anyone younger than me reading this. However, it is so crucial to sit in the “unfun” for a little bit. We have gotten so soft trying to make everything in our lives comfortable and easy. Just because making friends, in a city you know little about and maybe know even fewer people isn’t the easiest thing in the world does not mean you should resort to dinner and tv by yourself every night. Be uncomfortable for a little bit. Suck it up. Or as Mama Flanegin wisely said, “Get over it”. Seriously! I don’t mean to sound harsh, or make my mom sound harsh. She is the sweetest woman out there. But your life is at stake here! Make some friends. Create community. Dive deep into getting to know who the people around you are. Do things together. Create those bonds! Send the text inviting your neighbors over. How sad is it that most people do not even know the names of the people they live right next to! Our doors should not be something that we shut to block us from the rest of the world and give ourselves privacy, but a doorway into relationship for those who live around you. You have to be the one to do this because rarely is your neighbor going to be. And if they are then lucky you, accept the invite. Show up. Don’t flake. Go to the Taco Night!

Two of my friends, Nate and Suz, started hosting a Taco Night every Thursday night because someone did that for them before they moved cities. It happens every Thursday night. Look on their calendar and you will see it every Thursday. They make time for it. It is consistent, it is easy, they don’t ask you to bring anything (although it would be kind if you did). They tell you to bring whoever you want and they mean it. All they want is for you to be at their table. And their table might be messy when you show up. They may not have a dinner party outfit on but Rosaria Butterfield in her incredible book, The Gospel Comes with a House Key, says that “Hospitality is necessary whether you have cat hair on the couch or not. People will die of chronic loneliness sooner than they will cat hair in the soup”. You have to be the one to do this. Take it on. You can do it! The people around you are craving it. We all want to be a part of community. Few ever take the initiative to do something about it. You have the ability to be a literal lifesaving agent in peoples lives. And all of this is good practice even outside of loving Jesus. But for those of us that claim Jesus? This should be, no question, a critical part of your life and your ministry. Not because you want to change someones mind on what they believe, but because this is exactly what Jesus did.

I want to be careful to not make this an ego thing for me. I recognize that this blog could be seen as someone begging for attention on his birthday or hoping to finally get flooded with calls and texts. I promise I do not need those things to fill some attention need. To me, this is just me getting something off my chest. Writing has always helped me do that and I hope that if you have read all the way to here, that you too get something out of this. This is an unloading of a bit of real life that has made for a weirdly tensioned month in my world for a while. A way to get back to normal. Back to looking forward to this month as a chance to reconnect with so many people that I love. Back to feeling loved and celebrated. To eat a few brownies with my friends. That is my hope. I promise to get back to you if you FaceTime, or call or voice memo, or text on my birthday. Know now that it means the world to me. I would love to hear how you are doing, what’s going on in your life, what made you smile today and what songs you're listening to or even what's making you hurt a little bit.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am taking some time away from social media besides getting on to get this story out there so if you did read this and wouldn’t mind, shoot me a text or call or whatever. I would really appreciate it. I genuinely would love to hear from you. Yes, you! You reading this who maybe we haven’t talked in years. 719-231-9006.

My birthday is April 18th and for the first time in a while I am truly looking forward to that day.

I am so grateful for you. I love you. The good Lord loves you. Let’s party.

All the love.

#birthday #celebration

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yeeunjia · 3 years ago

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▬▬ [𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍] 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐒

PAIRING: sim jaeyun x fem!reader

▬▬ GENRE: queen's gambit au // smut // a bit of fluff // frenemies to lovers !! ▬▬ WARNINGS: dom!jake x sub!reader // queen's gambit references // mentions of alcohol + drinking // mentions of pills / drugs // mutual pining // sexual tension // unprotected sex // degradation kink // hair grabbing // oral (f. recieving) // marking // lowercase (intended) !! ▬▬ SUMMARY: you and jake have always been at the top. you'd help each other train for competitions but this time was different. it was only one of you who could compete in a big event. during a party, jake decided to ditch it and invites you over to his place to settle things properly. actually, you've always had eyes for jake. him only. so this made you quite hesitant but it's just a game of chess, right? that's all, nothing more, nothing less. well, that's what you thought until tipsy jake began pouring his heart out and confessing his feelings to you which lead to something neither of you expected to happen on that night.

▬▬ WORD COUNT : 3.0k

##. MINORS DNI !!!

you watch the crowds of people drinking and playing chess as you try to find someone. well, that specific someone was actually sim jake. both your best friend and rival. oh, not to mention that he's secretly also the only person you admire and cherish most. almost every person's conversion was about you and him. other chess players and the audience placed their bets and you would hear giggles here and there. you were sick of it. all they'd talk about is who's better in their eyes. you reached this level together. your skills are unmatched and they deserve to be recognized but now they even just want one of you to compete and represent the country? a tap on your shoulder then interrupts your thoughts, "hey pretty, jake's trying to find you." the voice was quite familiar and when you turn around to look at the person, it was lee heeseung. one of your first few opponents before you met jake. "he is? i actually expected him to be with a bunch of girls," you scoff, and heeseung laughs awkwardly. "come on, you know jake wouldn't even dare to touch anyone else other than you!" he shrugged. "sure" you reply in a sarcastic tone making heeseung frown. after a few minutes, someone walks up to you and interrupts your conversation. "i told you to bring her to me, hee." you look up and saw jake with a frown of irritation. "we literally see each other almost every day. plus, shouldn't you be busy with the women? what do you want?" you ask, rolling your eyes at him. jake would always let you be whenever you'd reply to him with an annoyed tone. he didn't mind it much, actually. jake looked at you levelly; something about this feisty side you rarely let anyone see just seems to always click something in him. he loved it and always knew that it made him want to break you and make you cry for him but he'd be too cocky to admit it anyway. jake lies, "i saw countless men trying to make a move on you. now, why would i let anyone do that to my partner." actually, what he said was quite true but that wasn't the main reason at all. jake stared as multiple men tried to give their luck with you a shot. he hated them. but the main reason he tried to find you afterwards was just to be with you in general. you stare at him and scoff, "really? that's all?" you question with a mischievous grin making jake frown again. heeseung, on the other hand, was also interested to hear jake's answer especially because of the fact that he has always been aware of how much jake crushes on you. his curious expression later turns into a disappointed one, though. "obviously" you frown and sigh. his answer was not much of a surprise but why did a part of you feel...upset and displeased? "god. you honestly have the attitude of a toddler!" you reply, hiding your disappointment. jake glares at you, "you have the intelligence of one, miss (l/n)! you'd probably still be taking those pills if i didn't guide you properly." you swore you saw heeseung almost spitting his drink out and holding his laugh when he heard that come out of his friend's mouth. heeseung clears his throat before speaking, "anyway, i'll let you both talk alone. good luck on the next competition too, yeah?" he pats your back before grabbing his drink and whispering something to jake. "don't you think you should finally tell (y/n) about how you feel?" heeseung then walks away and jake sits beside you, handing you a drink. you stare at him before gulping it all down and you swore the taste of it almost made you gag. "shit. tequila, huh?" you groan at the taste it left on your tongue, jake chuckles then gulps down on his drink too, "that's a first. you usually find its taste sweet" you two were then out of topics. all you could hear was just others' gossip and opinions about you both. "wanna get out of here? we could go at my place instead and settle things properly as well." jake's voice was stern. you stared at him for a few minutes and later began playing with your fingers as you were deeply absorbed in your thoughts. his place? alone with him? honestly, despite having a huge crush on jake, you never thought about that happening. not even once. to be honest, you never even expected that to be possible. he never brought anyone else to his place and his closest male friends were the only exceptions. "(y/n)? you know that i need an answer," jake says and you finally snap back to reality. when you stare at him and lock eye contact, his lips turned into a smirk. just then, he was suddenly closer to you and somehow managed to place his hand on your thigh. "oh, (y/n). thinking about filthy things now, are we?" he chuckles and takes another sip of his drink. "in your dreams, sim. let's get going, shall we?" it's just one game of chess. what could go wrong, right? you grab his drink and place it on the table; that's when you realize.. didn't you see him go back to the bartender to refill his cup several times? "wait. will you be fine? you're driving so i need to make sure you're still sober," jake is unsure but gives you a 'yes' anyway. he also knew his heart flutter a bit. did you feel concerned for him? before jake was even able to say another thing, you drag him out of the party and took his car keys from his pocket. "i change my mind, i'll drive if that's fine with you?" he nods in approval and can't help but smile at you. it's almost like he forgot about his cocky attitude earlier. ━╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾ "you're a neat one," you chuckle and jake scoffs, "expected the place to look messy, miss (y/n)?" "if i'm being honest, kinda, mr. sim. even the way you play chess is quite messy!" you tease. "ouch, (y/n)!" jake clutches his chest and fakes wiping a tear, making you giggle. jake was about to get something from a shelf but he couldn't even seem to walk in a straight line. you walk over to him and decided to lend a helping hand. "uh.. jake, let me" you let out a sigh. jake plops on his couch and points to the shelf, "the chessboard is up there" after reaching it (which was quite a challenge), you sat down beside him and started to set it up. you later froze and jake stares at you with a puzzled expression. "(y/n)?" jake calls out and you said nothing. the ticking of the clock was now all you could hear. the way jake was patient and waited for your answer was quite new to you too. you were hesitant of your words at first but managed to push them out, anyway. "when you said that we could settle things- were you talking about which one of us gets to compete? i mean- they don't have a decision yet and it's a good thing, jake! if they do choose it would mean that we'd probably become rivals! we both want to compete, after all!" jake was taken aback by your words, but his reply even had the effect of a slap in the face. "so? (y/n), one of us must be better. don't act selfishly" his voice was flat. ouch. jake- he never wanted to say those words. he didn't know why that slipped out either. you scoff, "so you're fine with that? seriously, sim. it's like all those years mean nothing to you!" you try to get up from your spot but jake grabs your wrist. "look, i didn't mean it like that- i don't even know why i said that.." he stuttered and you roll your eyes. there it is. that attitude of yours that always clicks something in him. jake tightens his grip on your wrist and locks his gaze on you, "roll your eyes again and you're getting it, (y/n)." your heart started beating faster, what is this feeling? "stop screwing around!" you spat and little did you know, that was jake's last straw. he pulled you to his bedroom and pinned you to the wall. jake stared at your flustered expression for a moment. he found it adorable but later breaks the silence, "what do you think of me, (y/n)?" jake pulls you closer when you try to move away and your eyes widen in surprise. "h-huh?.." you stammer. jake sighs and decided not to beat around the bush, adrenaline now rushing through his body, mixing with the immediate effects of all the alcohol he drank earlier, "i have always longed for you. and you- you keep spending your time with those men earlier! they don't deserve you. i do. i don't care if they'd try to take us away from each other, screw them. i want you and only you." at this point, jake was finally accepting his feelings and started throwing himself at you. there was tension in the room. it took a while for you to grasp all those words. your heartbeat was even faster and you wondered if jake noticed it. you felt like you need to push him off, but at the same time, not even a part of you wanted to. besides, you knew you also wanted more. you felt this strange feeling. something you've never felt with anyone else before. you decided not to even bother fighting that feeling and did what you've always wanted to do with jake. you caress his cheek before going in for a kiss. it was passionate and jake- he swore it was the only taste he has ever desired and longed for. your lips broke away from jake's. he stares at you like a lost puppy for a while then it later turns into a hurt look when he saw the regret in your eyes. you sigh before looking at him, "i know i kissed you first- i mean, i feel the same, jake. but i didn't even consider if you've wanted that kiss too, i'm sor-" you weren't able to finish the last word of your sentence as jake's hands tightened around your waist and closed the gap between yours lips again. the strap of your dress later started slipping down your shoulder and jake took that as an opportunity to give you marks right at that spot. jake separated the kiss, he then took his leather jacket off, tossing it to the floor. the aphrodisiac effect this man had on you. he places soft kisses and bites on your neck before starting a path down to your collarbone, lightly sucking on it and later leaving a mark on your shoulder too. it was obvious that he wanted all those men who even bothered touching you to know that you're his and honestly, you didn't mind that at all. "do you want more?" he asks, knowing exactly what the answer is but teasing you for fun. little did he know, the teasing wouldn't work to make you get on your knees for him. not even one bit. you place a kiss on his jaw, trailing behind his ear and nibbling on his earlobe briefly, "jakey, you know that you can take it all out on me. you know exactly what i want." you smirk when you felt his bulge on your thigh "don't tease me, (y/n). you don't know what you'll get," jake warns and you scoff. "that's not entirely convincing. especially with how hard you are right now." he couldn't seem to find anything to say or do. that's when he realized that you've always been the dominant one in bed. it would be quite the experience for jake but he didn't let it slide. "i'll break your cunt if you continue acting like that, doll" this was the first time someone has spoken to you in such a way. breathing has never felt so hard. he was even hurting your pride. "then what's stopping you, jaeyun?" you reply, trying your best to stay calm. your answer caused a smirk to form on his face. that was it. the attitude and confidence you have that he has always wanted to break. jake's hands soon left your waist as he backs up and turned around at his bed. you didn't get the hint at first so a part of you was confused. and not to mention the fact that you disliked it when you couldn't feel his touch anymore. jake exhales then approaches you once more, "get on the bed and take that dress off. now." you were uncertain if you should do it at first but eventually obeyed jake after a moment. "shit.." you whisper. that was the first time you've never even considered obeying anyone. jake quickly dealt with his clothing and soon crawls on top of you. he places his lips on your shoulder, kissing it and leaving marks again before trailing more kisses down to your chest and finally, stomach. "if i'm making you feel uncomfortable, just tell me to stop" he says in a genuine tone before slipping your panties off and tossing it somewhere else in the room. he was at eye level with your cunt and later began placing kisses and bite marks on your inner thighs. you underestimated the things jake could do to you and make you feel. that wasn't even the beginning of the things he wanted to do to you yet here you were, already dripping wet as you try not to beg for more. that was until jake started going further again and you slowly start to break. he can't help but do more when he catches sight of your wet core. and when jake finally started licking and sucking on your pussy, moans that were louder than you expected escaped you. it felt too good that you had no decision but to finally let all your erotic moans and whines that you have been trying to hold in escape your lips. jake pushes his fingers inside you as he sucks on your clit faster and a familiar knot in your stomach started to tighten. you didn't realize how loud you were until jake's fingers went deeper inside you. he never expected you to be this loud. the fact that all these moans that escaped your lips were all because of jake made him go crazy too. you were a hot mess at he couldn't explain how much he loved it. when jake noticed that you were close to finishing, he pumped his fingers in and out of you faster and started sucking on your clit more. he wasn't even fucking you with his dick yet all the pleasure almost made you lose your mind. you were weak for him and finally got the courage to speak up and say what you really want from jake. even if it means needing to beg. "jaeyun- jake- no! wait!" you push jake away while trying to catch your breath and he looks at you with a worried expression. he caresses your right thigh as he tries to ask about it, "(y/n)? i thought you liked it? was it too much i-" "i want you, jake.. please.." you try your best not to show annoyance in your expression when a smirk appears on jake's face, knowing that he wouldn't even bother giving you what you want if that does happen. “such a dirty slut. craving for my dick, huh?” ━╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾ jake had already reached his climax twice. it now your turn. “you like that, doll?” jake coos. your leg was over his shoulder but he flips you over to grip on your hips properly. tears started to form in your eyes due to the immense pleasure. you could only respond with your loud moans that sounded too pornographic than intended but jake loved every single second of it. a harsh slap then comes in contact with your ass. “j-jaeyun...” you whine you felt jake grab your hair, gently pulling it. it felt amazing. no one has ever made you feel so much pleasure. and jake- he found you beautiful. especially ever since you failed to hold you moans in as he fucks you mercilessly. “jake- oh my god-” you cried, gripping on the bed sheets when you felt the familiar knot once again. “shit..” jake cursed at your fucked up expression when you looked at him just to beg him to go faster. and he did as you asked. you couldn’t help but scream jake’s name. everything felt warm and your legs began to shake. his thrusts and pace were perfect. he reached the deepest spots nobody was able to reach before and it made you cry out of pure bliss. you felt jake kissing the spots he marked, not stopping his thrusts against your throbbing core. you were gripping harder on the bed sheets, you were getting closer as jake helps you reach your climax. you shut your eyes close as your back arched. you came all over his cock and the feeling made you go weak. ━╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾╾ you look at jake before nuzzling closer to him, “just a game of chess, huh?” jake chuckles, “i can’t help it.” you were silent for a while. “jake...do you actually like me?” you stared at jake who now had a confused expression. a part of him was upset that you have doubts towards his feelings, honestly. nevertheless, he still gave you a reply, “you mean the world to me, (y/n). and i can’t describe how much i love you.” you smiled at jake before giving him a peck, “i can’t even believe that i expected you to like someone else!” you sigh in relief and jake pulls you closer. “wait. what about the competitio-” you ask but jake cuts you off, “you deserve the spot. try the sicilian.” you smiled at him lovingly. “thank you, jakey.” “anything for you. now get some sleep, love.”

ENHYPEN MASTERLIST // REQUESTS & MESSAGES ʚ♡ɞ

ਏਓ ⸻ @axartia // @lhsng // @ashxsmoon // @bluesoobinnie

#enhypen imagines #enhypen sim jake #jake imagines #jake x reader #sim jake #sim jake smut #enhypen smut #enhypen reactions #enhypensmut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen oneshots #jake oneshots #jaeyun smut #sim jaeyun x reader #jaeyun imagines #enhypen sim jaeyun #enhypen jake smut

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heeseongism · 2 years ago

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Can you do a mutual appriciation post pls?

Love your works ! Slay bestie 💪🏻💜✨

Ooh okay !! Im rlly bad at writing sappy messages tho so bare with me 😭 also im going thru my following list as im writing so this isnt in any particular order <3 also ty @sluttyenha for re-sending this ily

@foxdaisy MY PRECIOUS DAISYYY 🥺 notice how i said my daisy? Thats bcs shes mine so all of u hoes better back off, daisy should srsly have the Guinness world record for most adorable person in the world bcs my god shes the cutest 🤧 always so so supportive of all her mutuals and never has anything bad to say abt anyone, shes rlly reminds me of this one mutual i used to have on my old acc and it just made me feel so at home on this new blog <33 daisy rlly just deserves the world, she's just that one friend that you can always count on to brighten up your day 💕 i always look forward to the asks that she sends me and ngl i feel my eyes watering sometimes by how adorable she is :( we’re always active at different time but whenever we do interact it makes me rlly appreciate and love her <3

@sunghoonalter raven, oh god where do i start. raven first and foremost is my bae so everyone back off bcs she is MINE MY PROPERTY 🔪 yes i have claimed both raven and daisy deal with it (i may claim some of my other mutuals so beware) shes also my no 1 angst writer even tho i hate reading it bcs it crushes my heart but I'll read it for her ✋😔 honestly raven deserves way more than shes getting on this hellsite BCS WHY TF ARE YALL SLEEPING ON HER DAMN GOD GIVEN WRITING SKILLS?!?!?!? WAKE UP AND APPRECIATE HER FFS shes the cutest girl in the world with her bambi eyes and might i say beautiful lips 😩 also her humor >>>>>>> it makes me love her even more than i alr do. We may disagree on some stuff (her being bambi and sunghoon having tiddies) but i still love her nonetheless ! I hope ive made her tumblr experience just a little bit better just like she did with mines ❤

@hee-pster - jan my fellow girl boss and lifeline is by far THE LOVELIEST person ive met on this site and im not even over exaggerating. She was the first person i properly interacted with and she immediately made me feel so comfortable on her and ilh for that 😭 she rlly deserves all the praise and love that she recieves bcs shes just such a kind, funny, and bubbly mutual who im proud to call my friend :( shes also hilarious and i love how we can both match each others energy, shes such a beautiful person and i just know shes beautiful on the outside too 😔 we wouldnt be able to handle a face reveal 💔 i rlly do love her, so much that words cant explain how much she means to me, I'll always try my best to be her supportive moot 💕 I hope she always remembers to take care of herself bcs life can be an ass sometimes <3

@jaylaxies aria aka the president of coochie clenching smuts AKA MY QUEEN 😩 WHY IS NOBODY ON THEIR KNEES BOWING TO HER FEET RN??? She is just so so hardworking and i rlly admire her for her perseverance despite all the obstacles she faces on her blog. Shes such a gorgeous person inside and out and shes still so humble even after gaining a massive follwoung which makes me love her sm more. Shes just one of the ppl who im extremely proud to call my friend bcs its not every day you meet someone as amazing aria, shes a rare gem fr 💕💕 I want to give her the world and to protect her from all the hate but sadly im merely a 19 yr old with multipe deficiencies and couldnt fight for my life without shattering my bones. However i hope that my love and affection can help her even if its in the tiniest way possible. Shes honestly one of the sweetest ppl ive met on here and i always look forward to her posts and when we interact :(

@end-hyphen MY LITTLE 5'2" GENIE IN THE BOTTLE 🧞‍♀️ ik alot of ppl say this but genie rlly is just like a big bundle of sunshine and she never fails to make my day whenever i see her in my notifications :( literally a free package of positivity like WHAT DID I DO IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE BEING BLESSED BY SUCH A WHOLESOME HUMAN BEING ??? We haven't been mutuals for very long but i rlly hope our friendship can last for a very very long time bcs tumblr would be so lifeless without her, the happiness would literally be drained out of my tumblr experience ngl 😭 im always looking forward to when we interact and just seeing her interactions with other ppl on my dash makes me so happy that theres still sm positivity despite all the hate anons ew,, genies rlly is just a beautiful person both inside and out and i wish her all the happy things in life!

@jaysbiceps amy or should i say my angel in disguise and by disguise i mean KINKY LEATHER CORSET,, i legit never wouldve expected someone as sweet and GORGEOUS as her could be this sexy but im loving it. Amy is probably the person i dm the most on here, and shes just the cutest most adorable mutual i could ever wish for. Shes so supportive and is always checking up on me which i appreciate vv much, whenever i say i love her i rlly do mean it. I love our talks whether its abt being horny or screaming abt random drama she never fails to make me laugh even if im having a rough day :( She deserves all the love and happiness in the world and i hope she doesnt have to deal with nasty anons anymore bcs or else i will personally go to their house and drain the happiness in them and then gift it to amy.

@shu-ramyeonz shu is... chaotic to say the least... BUT SHES MY CHAOTIC BAE (another one added to the list hehe fight me if u object) I love how she always acts so friendly with ppl even if its the first time they've interacted she acts as if they've know eachother forever nd have gone thru 5 divorces together 😔 I admire her sm for her confidence and positivty despite all the haters in her inbox who hve nothing better to do. also she looks exactly like a pinterest girl THE ENVY UGH 🤧 anyways i love her sm she's always hyping me up and complimenting me for no reason whatsoever which never fails to cheer me up 💕

@hwxnghyynjin BILLIE MY HANDSOME BOY, firstly can we just appreciate how god damn sexy he is bcs the fact that there isnt a billie visuals appreciation day where we all cry over how hot he is doesnt sit right with me 🤨 billie is a mutual of mine from my old acc so we go WAYYY BACK and i can't think of any other mutual i would rather have find this acc (well technically i told him but who cares) he is the cutest bean ever and his smile is so so so so precious it just lights me up inside hes so cute sjakhska :(( someone stop me im fangirling anyways billie is just the light of my life rlly and we dont interact much nowadays but i still feel so comfortable with him which is a huge thing for me. I just love him 😭

@lunarxsun luna is the cutest most adorable most precious person to exist istg words cant explain how hard working she is, i rlly hope one day she gains the recognition she deserves bcs her ocs are SO GOOD 😩 shes always so positive no matter what the haters say and i love that abt her. She's always coming into my ask box to give a little hello and i rlly appreciate it so so much, she's always thinking abt those around her and u can tell she genuinely loves her mutuals, shes such a good person and im manifesting with her that she meets her future husband at the COOL club ;)

@clelevanters tala is an angel that was sent down by god for being too horny and i will stand by that statement 😤 she rlly was blessed by god with those stunning visuals and stunning voice too?? Apparently she sings and im crying bcs i haven't heard her heavenly voice yet 😭 shes such a positive bundle of energy and i love when she randomly pops into my ask box simping over enha or the dark moon characters sjsjsksj tala also shares my pegging kink ugh could she get any better. Shes yet another one of my mutuals who i just wanna protect with all my might and also the fact that shes younger than most of us makes her so babie :( enhablrs babygirl me thinks

@polalvsjy MAE IS THE HUMAN PERSONIFICATION OF COTTAGECORE ISTG SHES SO SOFT AND CUTE except she listens to chase atlantic- shes one of the most beautiful person ive seen im not even joking. She gives off HUGE golden retriever vibes and its so adorable 😭 literally jakes soulmate in my opinion. She's also extremely talented LIKE FIRST SHES AN AMAZING WRITER AND THEN I FIND OUT SHE CAN SING LIKE AN ANGEL, DRAW LIKE PICASSO AND DANCE?!?!? God truly does have favorites 🤧 i always look forward to seeing her on my dash and in my inbox <33 i feel like it’d be rlly nice to just have a picnic with her and talk abt anything bcs shes so easy to speak with <3

@forjongseong NANA IS LITERALLY MY SOULMATE ATP HER MUSIC TASTE IS CHEFS KISS SHE ALSO LISTENS TO MAYE TOO SO LIKE 😍 once again a very very very talented mutual of mines,, her carmesi series OH MY GOD SHE MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SECRETARY!JAY AGENDA. We actually dont interact as much as it feels like we do bcs i just feel so comfortable with her and i love that abt her, i love how shes such a kind inviting person and also extremely pretty too might i say 👀 shes adorable and her love for jay is even more adorable skjndk i always look forward to seeing nana on my dash and i hope we can become even closer!!

@drunkjaked SAX IS ALSO MY SOULMATE STFU she introduced me to kehlani and i’ll always love her for that 💕 we also havent interacted much but it feels like shes a lifelong friend whenever we talk with eachother! Shes such a talented writer and im proud to be mutuals with such a sweet and funny person such as her. I hope that in the future we can become closer friends and i hope she takes care of herself <33

@donghoonie-3 AVERY MY LOVE istg describing how precious they are is impossible, i always love seeing them interact with other ppl on my dash, and HE ALSO SHARES MY LOVE FOR SUBBY HOON 🥹 the best sub!hoon blog on here imo. I dont have much to write bcs we dont interact much but i truly do love and care for them <33

@hee-pot @vivvys @robyncore @4hsng @thots4hee @softforqiankun @amourhee @svnoohe4rts @muffinminnie @criceofpain @blond4enha @sluttyenha @taekookstiddiemilk @nyanggk @valley-of-lies @2minbin @heetro @pandorasblogbcuzican @tfwheeseung @yunskies @jinfie-lvr ILY GUYS I RLLY DO BUT WE HAVENT INTERACTED ENOUGH FOR ME TO WRITE ANYTHING 😭 but i srsly do love u all equally and i hope we can interact more in the future mwah <33 also if i missed out any moots the same goes for you guys

#anon :3 #ask box ! 🖂#only those who were active a few weeks ago know the hell i went thru when writing this up 😭

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420pogpills · 4 years ago

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Hello, hello! I hope you are well today and taking care of yourself. I kinda need to vent about some critical stuff @ George I've seen recently gain traction I personally think people are reading into? Of course I would love to get your opinions if they happen to contradict mine or whatever you have to add!

I've seen people come at George for not being vocal about Dream's recent projects and endeavors on social media + on stream compared to the rest of their friends and the SMP. Granted, he is a very private person and it's a known fact that he gives out praise and words of affirmation off stream frequently as Dream and others joke about recieving kind words from him out of the public eye. That's just the way he treats emotional matters with those he cares about but I keep seeing people negatively perceiving that and calling George "soulless", "uncaring" and even have seen a person or two say George doesn't give anything to his friendship with Dream and Dream gives him so much that isn't returned. It just-- irks me. I get criticism at ccs for certain behaviors but this shouldn't be something he's torn apart for. Clearly George cherishes his friends and gives them his time, energy and affection even if it's off social media + stream, otherwise they wouldn't adore him as much as they do. It's frustrating to see private ccs like George just get treated like they are two-dimensional when they are so much more then what they decide to present to their audience.

Sorry for the rambling!! I just saw those posts and it really got to me that this is something people are still needlessly debating and dragging him for.

hi hi ❤️ i am okay thank you, trying to overcome a headache right now :') i hope you are taking care of yourself also! i get you anon. this shit really really makes me angry too.

first of all, people need to understand that just because they are streamers/youtubers, that does not mean they live on the internet. we see them for a couple of hours a WEEK at best. just because they are not interacting online, that doesn't mean they're not interacting at all. just because george isn't singing dream's praises online, doesn't mean he isn't doing it on the phone.

honestly george rarely congratulates people or says much about people's accomplishments and projects and things. he isn't big on being publicly affectionate with his words. that doesn't mean that he isn't telling his friends how proud he is, how excited he is, about whatever they are getting up to!

but the biggest thing that irks me about stuff like this - if you think george doesn't give anything to dream in their friendship.. hate to break it to you but that's between george and dream. it's literally only their business. if dream didn't feel appreciated by george at all, maybe they wouldn't of last as friends for so long. or maybe people should consider that dream isn't friends with george to 'get anything' out of the friendship. people often get different things out of different people, and dream spoke about this before. to get advice he'd go to bad, to get backed up he'd go to sapnap, to have fun he'd go to george.

people need to stop judging things they know nothing about. if you claim to love and support dream, and then shit on his best friend and call him 'soulless' in the same breath - dream would probably tell you to get fucked :)

#ask #anon #cw negative #i hate people who assume they know things about how george treats his friends #that's none of your business <3 #if george was an asshole #he wouldn't have so many people loving him

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aelin-queen-of-terrasen · 4 years ago

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AAAAHHHHHHHH YES DORIANNNN

I've loved him since day1 and I'll love him forever he's my sweet little baby and I didn't expect to like Manon and him together but I love that I'm wrong here bcs for some reason I love him with Manon

like I said there are sooooooooo many things I LOVED and I literally inhaled this book in a day and a half and I'm still going through everything that happened and just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

and I loveddddd the bit where Rowan goes that he doesn't have anything to offer Aelin like land or money or his title and stuff like that but when his cousins come to this aid and he goes that his is what he is offering her his Whitethorn line or something like that and my heart just melted

and Gavriel-Aedion meet!??! my heart actually broke reading it I'm pretty sure that Gavriel didn't know that he had a son when he left Aedion's mother and now he just wants to talk to his son but AEDION??!! why?!! and I get both sides but stillll and finally when Maeve comes him back but he leaves a shield in place around Aedion and even Lysandra and again my heart just aaaaaahhhhhhhh

and Evangeline???? We've seen so less of her but I'll protect her at all costs!! Ahhhhhhh that scene what they leave her with Murtaugh and Lysandra and Eva have to say good-bye like thank god we didn't get this scene from Lysandra's pov (if I'm not wrong haha can't remember this bit) and OH MY GOD WHEN AEDION KISSED EVA'S HEAD AS A GOODBYE LIKE WHYYYYY!???!! I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS

and I've to say that out of all the side characters backstories and povs, I loved Elide and Lorcan the most and the tent scene and when he washes her clothes himself and when he comes back for her when Vernon shows up and that whole tearing up his shirt so she would have her supplies and him giving her that protective golden ring (I've forgotten the name) and the whole island thing and her offering him a home in Perranth (that's the name I guess?) and him finally accepting that he wants to come with her and their kiss like sarah would you just kill me already this couple is tearing my heart and healing it at the same time

andddddd omg when I was reading how Lorcan reacted to Elide's cycle I remembered that when Aelin got hers in the beginning and Chaol was there and when he found this out and actually RAN from her room and then Dorian comes and helps her ah man I just love him

ahh no I don't want to read ToD I simply can't read about Chaol anymore and ik he had his reasons but I just can't get over how he acted and treated Aelin in QoS

and I can't tell you how fun it is to talk to someone who knows what I'm talking about so thankssssss!!! maybe I just find that courage to talk to you non-anonymously soon hehe

It would be awesome if you could but if you can't, I love recieving your asks! I'll reply from bottom to top.

Dorian is so adorable; it's so rare for me to love a side character more than the main love interest but he's just, argh, perfect. Even in the first book, I always wished Celaena would choose him instead of grumpy grandpa chaol. I liked chaol well enough tho, even when he was such a little shit asking her what she did to deserve her scars and always being scared of her like he just loves a part of her; not the assassin, not the king's champion and definitely not the queen. I still liked him anyway for some reason until QoS but then he was such an asshole to her??? The girl is trying to save her kingdom from the evil king you served not that long ago. He keeps resenting her for it. And blaming the massacres of Endovier and Calculla on her too? That was so uncool. He thought she was just frolicking around faeries in wendlyn; it made me so mad, as if he knows anything about her. So I can understand not wanting to read ToD — also because I can't possibly read about fucking chaol when Aelin's in an iron coffin oh god. But please remember to read a summary or some things won't make sense! All Elorcan scenes were so cute but particularly the one where he left stripes of his shirt for her to use for her period. That was so un-Lorcan-like so I loved it. Also that other scene where he drops the shield when Elide is attacked so that someone can heal her and he says I wanted to go to Perranth with you. It broke me. Aedion and Lysandra raising Evangeline along with kids of their own would be the sweetest thing ever in the world. I wish Gavriel and Aedion had more time together. I understand his mother hiding it from Gav to protect Aedion from Meave but I can't help but resent it because that wasn't exactly Gavriel's fault; he just wants his son. I can't— 😭 and Rowan's quote:

There's no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will still love you.

I didn't like Dorian and Sorscha; it seemed like that ship was being forced down my throat. So when Manorian started seeming like a possibility I didn't expect to like it as much as I ended up liking it! I loved and hated empire of storms' ending in equal measure for the whole whitethorn bunch turning on Meave, all their allies getting together, etc etc. And Aelin-Brannon interaction lmao this girl really be antagonizing everyone. 😂

#asks #empire of storms spoilers #empire of storms #throne of glass #throne of glass spoilers

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rwby-necro-au-archive · 3 years ago

Note

WELL NOW WE GOTTA KNOW! How DID Winter and Qrow’s first meeting go?

Two very different sides, to a very similar coin.

ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE. Anyways, to this anon, I am sorry that this took so long. This got buried in my inbox.

“I thought the point of leaving Atlas as kids was to, y’know, leave.” Qrow grumbled as the heels of his uncomfortable dress shoes clicked against the cold concrete, the man walking aside him sighed “I am aware love, believe me, I’d rather not be here either, but you know how dear General Ironwood feels about it.” Venom slipped into Ozpin’s tone at the mention of the General.

“General Ironwood. Aka the biggest pain in the ass you’ll ever meet.” Qrow rolled his eyes at the thought. He truly was just that, a dick. A misogynist, homophobic, racist, classist, the man checked all the wrong boxes. And let’s add the death of what was probably tens of millions at this point to the top of that list. Qrow mumbled as for the people around the two not to hear, “So what does Jiminny irondick want with you?” He could see Oz hold back a laugh, mentally celebrating his achievement at making Oz happy.

Ozpin spoke equally quiet “I’m not sure, you know how just great he is at communicating. It could be anything from discussing country relations to him ranting for a few hours at a party about how necromancers are “evil” and terrible.” Qrow piped up at the last part of Ozpin’s sentence, “Party?” He questioned, “Unfortunately.” Ozpin shook his head and laughed sadly “See, and I can’t even dance with you to make it even a little bit better for the both of us.” Qrow’s cheeks would’ve heated up from the comment if it weren’t for Atlas’s blistering cold.

He groaned anyway, “God is that why I’m dressed like this?!” He tugged at the coat he was wearing, Ozpin pouted at his reaction “I even picked that one out for you!” Ok. That was true. “Yeah and that’s the only reason I’m wearing it.” He sassed back, waving his hand at Oz.

“We’re here…” Ozpin grumbled. As the two stepped inside the mansion that was Ironwood’s “house”, it was a whole lot of what Qrow was expecting and a lot more. And not in a good way. Immediately one of his urges surfaced. Alcohol. The place smelled of smoke and alcohol. Great.

He looked up to see Ozpin with a similar expression to his own and quickly decided to mumble something to him, “If I can’t, neither can you.” Ozpin looked down at him and sighed before whispering back “I can’t promise he won’t offer anything. But I won’t.” “Good.”

Ignoring the smell, Qrow looked around, everything was white, the furniture, the lights, literally everything, it was almost sickening. The other guests practically blended into their surroundings like chameleons because of the colors, not like Qrow needed to acknowledge their existence anyway.

Before he could comment, Ozpin politely guided him over to who they would be talking to. Ironwood, but he wasn’t alone. Qrow cocked an eyebrow, “Whose that next to him?” Ozpin peered over to who he was referring to. She was a young woman, probably only in her mid to early twenties, with platinum white hair, pale complexion, and ice blue eyes. “Uniform.” Ozpin directed. Qrow looked at her uniform, right, of course. “Pursuer.” He muttered with disgust “Correct. His personal pursuer to be exact. She stays by him twenty four seven.” Ozpin explained.

So this chick was Ironwoods personal attack dog and protector. Ironic, you could’ve called Qrow the same thing, since that’s also his job. Although Oz doesn’t order him around like how Ironwood probably does that pursuer. As they approached, Ironwoods painfully loud and egotistical tone rang out “Well! If it isn’t Ozpin! You always were good with arriving directly on time!” “It’s good to see you too, General.” Ozpin replied bluntly and coldly.

Qrow hated this side of Ozpin, the cold and distant one, the one who rarely showed any emotion, empathy, or interest. But he had to in order to even have a chance at staying professional around Ironwood. Qrow’s gaze wandered away from Ozpin and to the young woman who was now on the other side of the mansion speaking with someone unimportant. He had still been listening to the conversation that the other two gentlemen were having when Ozpin introduced Qrow to Ironwood. That’s right, this was the first time he was ever meeting the man— correction, monster, in person.

“I don’t think you’ve met my personal protector, General, this is Qrow Branwen, Qrow, General Ironwood.” Ozpin introduced the two. Qrow said a quick hello and reluctantly shook the other man’s hand. He was throwing these gloves in the wash when they got back to the hotel. “If we’re doing introductions then here, Winter!” Ironwood barked and the young woman practically speed walked over to the 3 men. Ironwood glared at her before he turned to the other two, “My personal pursuer, Winter. Winter, these two men are Headmaster Ozpin and his personal pursuer Qrow.” Qrow mentally gagged at the title.

Winter saluted before speaking “It is a pleasure to meet both of you.” She replied in a monotonous voice. Qrow couldn’t help but look at her, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing behind those eyes, blank, husk like. No identity, no opinion, this was probably as close to a robot as you could get without them being an actual robot. It would’ve been disgusting if it wasn’t so sad.

Ozpin and Ironwood said their farewells to the other two as they both walked into Ironwoods office. If looks could burn, Qrow would’ve burned a hole through that stupid mahogany door. “I have heard that you pursuers in Vale have time to yourselves. It is customary that I ask what it is you do in that time.” Winter spoke in the same husk like voice from earlier, Qrow decided to humor her, if she could even feel humor. “Not that much, just lay around and relax. Sometimes I go visit family, sometimes I go out somewhere and do whatever they’ll let me do there.” Winter looked up at him out of the corner of her eye, “What is it like to “relax”?” She questioned, actually sounding slightly curious.

“Well, you’re not as tense, you get to do whatever you want with your own privacy. Stuff like that.” He mentally kicked himself at the last part, she wouldn’t know what other stuff was like that. She looked down, showed a slight shimmer of emotion, the most she had felt throughout their entire meeting, “It sounds nice. I cannot do that though.”

Qrow decided to try and get to know her better “So when did you join the battalion?” “8th grade, I was 13 years old.” “What was training like?” “Difficult. But I excelled in it, becoming the youngest pursuer to reach such a high rank.” Huh. Youngest and best, wish he could’ve said the same about his childhood. Speaking of childhood,

“What was your life like before you joined the battalion?” He asked. Winter opened her mouth to respond but then shut it. Qrow cocked an eyebrow at the reaction before looking directly at her expression. He couldn’t make out was she was feeling, was she confused? Hesitating? Conflicted? Or was it all 3? She swallowed and responded back, voice slightly shaking “I do not remember.”

Y’know, Qrow had always figured that they fucked up pursuers pretty bad, but to hear that they don’t even remember their life before they became pursuers still broke him in a way. These people weren’t just manipulated, they were fucking brainwashed.

Let’s add that under yikes and reasons to hate Ironwoods guts.

As Qrow and Ozpin stepped out of the mansion, Qrow couldn’t help but be disturbed by what he learned, his disturbance did not go unnoticed though. “What’s wrong love?” Ozpin spoke, tenseness in his voice, probably from speaking with Ironwood. Qrow shook his head “I’ll tell you when we get back to the hotel. It’s better that way, to not be in public.” He looked behind him at the people around them. Ozpin gave him a concerned look but nodded.

Once they arrived at the hotel, Qrow did what he mentally promised and threw his gloves in the wash, quickly putting another pair on. This was no place to take a chance like having his gloves off. As he walked out of the laundry room he found Ozpin flopped face down on the bed. He snickered at his boyfriends reaction, Ozpin moved his head so that he could see Qrow “Don’t laugh at me. Ironwood is bloody miserable to be around.” Ozpin grumbled.

Qrow walked over and sat on their shared bed, “Ok but can I tell you what was bothering me earlier then?” Ozpin rolled over onto his back and looked at Qrow “Go ahead love”. Ignoring the very very shirtless Oz in front of him, he swallowed down his flusteredness and spoke “These pursuers aren’t just being manipulated. They’re being straight up brainwashed. Ironwood’s personal pursuer, Winter? Can’t even remember her life before she became a pursuer.” Ozpin’s eyes widened in surprise and horror.

He put a hand over his face “Bloody hell… if Winter dealt with that then I wonder what the others have dealt with….I’d hate to think…” Ozpin rambled, “I’m glad you told me before you did anything because now I’m even more tense.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow, “did anything?” Ozpin uncovered his face and pointed at Qrow “You, are going to be a good boyfriend and give me a massage with your magic hands.” He spoke matter-of-factly.

“So we’re just gonna ignore what I said?” Qrow laughed, “We can worry about that later when I’m not as tense.” His boyfriend whined “Fine, brat.” Ozpin pouted at the comment.

Qrow couldn’t help but lay in bed wide awake that night. He couldn’t stop thinking. He just couldn’t. Not when Atlas is brainwashing people into being their own personal husks.

This was becoming a lot bigger than just the necromancers. And it wasn’t looking good. Especially since the healers look like Atlas’s next target for forcing into their military and/or persecuting.

Ironwood really will do anything to get what he wants huh?

#necromancer ozpin #necromancer qrow #necromancer au ironwood #pursuer winter #headmaster ozpin #ozpin #professor ozpin #qrow branwen #cloqwork #I can’t not add cloqwork ok? not when the bodyguard/councilman dynamic is RIGHT THERE.

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queenofallwitches · 3 years ago

Text

an update and primer:

so the last winter was weird. I had a complete breakdown, went into psychiatric hospital for 40 days in total. two seperate times.

learnt a heap of new things, met a tonne of cool people and had amazing conversations and few fights but overcome my own demons by that.

brain speaking-I have a scarred brain stem and neurological disorder is not a mental diagnosis, but a neurological disorder, proven by MRI scan, ADHD.

also damage to my basal ganglia, and prefrontal cortex.

neurological diagnosis means ADHD is not a "mental" health issue, as some believe, rather a neurodevelopment disorder caused by structural differences in the ADHD brain.

other neurodevelopment disorders include: Tourettes, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Dyslexia and other Motor and Intellectual Disabilities. (Which recieve, in my view, a lot of insight, media information and stigma reduction by the advocacy networks surrounding these types of disability).

Over the last few years Autism has been over everything, I've seen mainstream media cover Tourettes and yet ADHD is still HUGELY misunderstood, misconceived and misrepresented in media, be in from the angle of documentaries, personal insight of a "typical" case, films, tv, and other media.

one of the first things my dr told me was "in females it rarely presents as hyperactive red-cordial OD child"

which is what my mother BELIEVES, that is because I have an adopted cousin with the ADHD dx who was that growing up, but the representation I'm told is also divergent for women with a higher IQ score than the average IQ. I come in around 142 and tested 123 at age 3 when I was unable to focus, pay attention and had severe trauma. I tested 142 in grade 8.

I'll share my experience as a female who is intellectually gifted, with higher IQ than average, and an adhd brain:

I've been told gifted and talented "genius" children are harder to diagnose because the symptoms present differently, we hide it better (camouflage) and our focusing can be "faked" by mediocre efforts of academic success.. this is true, I would do the assignment the Sunday night hours deadline, last minute, or have my parents half do it for me, plagiarise it (fuck I've killed my whole academic career now) copied but changed my words

from old 1970s encyclopaedias I KNEW they couldn't cross reference (I went through 15 years of school never studying doing homework or assignments and still had top grades).

I literally did not listen, and spent my classes planning the end of the world survival strategies with my GT friend who, basically helped me with my calculus and hard fucking maths, which was the ONLY 50 minutes of the day I put attention into my work.

now I'm going to be heading back to full-time study in the coming months, I get anxious as the pressure of a Bachelor level degree, and the pressure it takes me to perform, is enough to break me down. I've been advised it might be wise to start light (like a basic vet style diploma) and then build up, which is logical, but I keep thinking I'm meant to be doing my thesis by now. which is the kind of pressure one gets as a kid who is told repeatedly, "your intelligence is exceedingly the average and you can do ANYTHING you want"

I wanted to be an astronaut, a storm chaser, and an architect, a town planner and then a journalist. I always held to being a "FBI agent" or spy (I wonder why). so when I found psychology is really a blend of all these things, I kinda found a niche in a psych and social science double degree. but I'm thinking my academic career is LIFELONG, and due to the fact I also want to work in my field alongside my many written thesis coming, I'll be in academics for a long time. I may fail a few things, which I have to come to terms with. I do not fail easily, or readily, but I'm a perfectionist type-a academic who will put my whole life on the line to achieve "merit". I get exams, I get assessments, I read journals super-easy, I talk the talk and walk the walk so well psychologists who are at masters level compliment me on my "knowledge".

when it comes to mental health and trauma, I will always have the personal attachment, called lived experience, which will make failure and burnout, 100 percent realistic. I have to boundary up, bootstraps on, and prepare that yes, my personal "bias" will probably be entwined in this.

which is why I'm looking at the social science for the statistics and thesis writing side of things, and the counselling for the trained therapist side. either way, the degree of counselling requires so much self-insight, and then the social-science will back me away from personifying it. the other choice is criminology, which leads to forensic psychology, which is eternally fascinating. my main concern is the pro-pedophile content Ill be up against, which will look at the anatomy of a shoplifter akin to the devil, and leave the pedophile in the DSM-5 dx "paraphilia" box.

I'm not joining or jumping to anything.

either way I've got 2 year of credit, a heap of pathways and a lot of "academic momentum" from all my life being aimed to be "academic powerhouse". I went through my files and found a lot of awards I'd won in my high school, and top place in the competitions we would be entering in. I remember feeling so sad if I had a "credit" vs a distinction or high distinction, only to see now, a credit in university maths in year 9 is a skillset I don't have anymore so, good on me. or a credit in English, or Science at that age was pretty impressive, considering these tests were random and not studied for.

just a general skills assessment only the top 30 kids in the year were to take on a year by year basis and put out to vet from the top universities and taken by other kids in the same grade around the state.

it puts so much focus on my intelligence, because it's primed to be that way, I know that is true. I know I feel good being academically successful and it gives me a feeling of "achievement" but is it really for me?

I also found 2 letters from my local politicians offering me job placement, work experience and I was 1/4 kids in my 10th grade graduation tom get the letter, and due to my behaviour I pissed ALL the idiots who bullied me off. I was "too pretty to be a nerd" "too smart to be pOpUlAr".

so I made a group of misfits, who are all highly intelligent, creative and my group had the ONLY gay male in the school AND THIS IS BEFORE YOU FUCKING RETARDS MADE IT "COOL". he was bullied badly, so fuck you, you fucks claim "liberalism" but I bet you were the type of idiot who bullied guys like him in high school while you pretended to like my chemical romance and fake cut yourselves. I hate you all, forever.

my grade was full of idiots who were fake emo, who left the scene the moment the scene changed to dub-step and club music. I was there, watching you all, like sonny Moore, went from FFTL to that dubstep skrillex shit he started in 2009.

I dated you, hooked up with you and I went to your gigs. I know who was real and who was fake. I met some of you years later and realised the more emotive ones were the less "alternative appearing".

I can say 1/10000 emo guys from the 00s were genuinely Into the music and scene for the right reasons based on my dating history and this can and will be analysed statistically using SPSS one day to prove a lot. I've had too many relationships from each sub-culture and I have had 4-11 males at a time per public "output" of my energy pursue me over life.

I'm not being cocky when I say I have a long line of "suitors" and its banked back about 50 men. it's been a thing I've avoided as it seems to grow based on my body shape, attitude, appearance, so I am currently out of touch with dating scenes, no interest to try that ANYWAY, given the fact that I have had so many LONG TERM relationships ANYWAY. I can't see another one going well, and at this case, I'm living with an ex but we never went on conventional and now our families label this 3 things: "asexual", "polyamorous" and "open relationship". I'm also "bisexual" but this all to humans outside, looks ridiculous on paper. (wild orgies and lots of swinging or some stupid sex magick probably is what J brother literally thinks we do).

bc humans are intrinsically designed to need to label things they don't understand. we share a lease, not a relationship, and fucking polyamorous, I WISH. there are no girl-girl-guy 3 some, or orgies, or sex magic parties.

this has changed the attitude and perception of this "relation' which Is non-romantic, non-sexual. he can date and likely, will, as can I , and I likely won't date.

I would say 14/15 have had ADHD, or other mental illness and or trauma. which means to me, nothing at all.

I think this "open book" non romantic relationship style of "friends and roommates" not sexual.

attachment is misunderstood by others but works well fro my adhd, meaning I'm not expected to marry, or be a wife in any capacity. he is free to do what he wants, as I am, and open communication is a novel frontier I brought into this in the start, and stayed with for the duration. we fight, but I fight with a lot of people in my life over many petty things. also down to my adhd, I believe, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes me hypersensitive to rejection, perceived or real.

im not sure if this is trauma or adhd or both. but

I have used sexuality as a weapon in many relationships but it cannot or will not be used here, so I have had to resort to uncovering parts of myself which I never knew, which will stay with me even if he decided to marry and wife up in 5 years, which I'm okay and expecting him to do, and I would much rather that then be trapped in a situation where I cannot be that "wife/mother archetype" as I'm too "femme fatal/other-woman/sex-laced seductress and siren" a "FWB, unicorn, drug buddy, hook-up where im a therapist" or "intellectual and cognitive mind-bender work-study obsessed woman".

both at once and many types of human, including one who is a full-time ceremonial magician of 7 years. I will drink, drug, fuck, fight like males and still be more feminine and high maintenance than 89% of women. I grew up a tomboy and don't mind getting into fun, adventure based situations, like hiking, or anything adrenaline, I would only be reluctant to eat weird shit.

I also have many "neurological" issues including ADHD, and trauma which causes a rupture in the average human and I dating.

I'll tell you how many men have said "you are the unicorn" and then realised what that means, I went as far as canvasing the PUA world back in 2014 after reading the game, a book on PUA, which is essentially, pick up artistry, based on NLP and hypnosis. I did this after reading the copy my ex in 2008 handed me before we dated saying "I gave this up for you". it took me years to open the book, buy when I did I truly believed the only way I would fall in love again, was through PUA. that failed in so many ways but gave me a training foundation for men who were candidates for that, I have trained up J, and the way that sounds is BAD. I know, but I got a lot of value myself, I just don't see it how I wanted to see it.

but that was my original intent, and I achieved this he knows that, knew it was happening and evolved for the best self.

I am thinking we can modulate this into a business model for how I was operating in the BDSM world was mainly psychological, not physical.

I get told all of is incredibly intimidating (I am told) to women and men.

I don't really care anymore, because people have always seen this part of me in the wrong way ANYWAY, but I own who I am NOW. which is what I needed ANYWAY. so it cannot be stolen again, and sexual healing has come from abstinence ironically.

I also don't care what or who is trying to tear up my relations, toxic or not toxic, all people around me will be on a healing journey by default, or cut out of my life, for I am radiating that energy so brightly its impossible NOT to feel that pull.

I will drag your shadows into the light, and make your secrets spin from your lips into my consciousness. its not what I do but its what is design.

I make your weaknesses mountains to climb over. you cannot hide from these in my presence, I won't be this controlling or obsessive female who wants 24-7 attention as I have a life full of meaning without love or sex. I don't want to be wined, dined or expensively gifted, unless specially requested.

I don't want love letters or romantic declarations, this isn't some femnazi bullshit, but it triggers me. I appreciate the efforts and won't make you feel bad about your insecurities, for mine are probably 30 x more pronounced.

I appreciate small things, that most males won't or don't know how to do. like remembering things I've said and being thoughtful. or knowing my silence isn't personal, or a game, but a protective wall. I've had songs sung too me, guitars played, songs written, or things made in ways that are heartfelt. but I've always had them used against me too. so it is the context. I value time, energy, conversations of depth and reciprocal exchange. I also value trauma understanding, my alters and fragments being accepted and valued as me as a whole and a person who is not afraid, or scared of stupid stuff like sensitivity, emotions, feelings as raw as my own. men feel intensely too, lol.

but will only give oral sex 100 times before I don't recieve it, I can communicate now so that wouldn't happen.

but I won't be a bitch about this stuff. I am extremely feminine and care in ways other people, do not, I forget nothing people tell me, so it can be a reward or reverse uno card pull in a fight, but I am not evil or deviant in my relations. I react, depending on how you treat me. I don't need your money, or providing source of income to be okay as I am my own queen, however sharing resources is okay to build something. I don't need to be seduced, but will need to be shown a person is trustworthy.

few cross that.

that will always be time-endurance and testing. there are ground rules I don't play with, or play games. or like being forced or forged into something I'm not. I know abusive and I know safe, and I am a psychology expert, trained psychotherapist and study humans for fun, so I'll always be analysing things.

and I know red flags and I know ego, I know how to placate and please and pleasure, but will only do so, for a bigger and better reason than the mere act of seduction. which is without value and transactional to someone like me, I won't lie.

and I know every tactic in the book, for the book was written by someone like me, many lives ago, and my karma is being burnt for that book.

in terms of walls, I have many, may it be called a maze. or labrnyth.

I will teach you things you never thought you'd know, and change your life in ways you won't ever be able to go back to before. I will blow your mind, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, on all levels, and I'll make your friends and family love me.

I'll bring your walls down and you won't be able to understand this, because you don't understand me, and thats ok.

but I'll always understanding you and make your life better because thats what I do anyway, and people talk to me about things I will never share, as I keep secrets. I am jealous, of everything but, only because I am attached in a disorganised way, and working on that.(I won't even mention how man women or men don't know basic psychology of themselves). I also am a therapist , for my friends and family too.i should not be , but I am. I care, I listen, If you think I'm not listening, I'm still listening. sometimes I interrupt, because I have ADHD and I am horrible at resolute planning, or being "normal". but I don't want to be normal anyway. I need you to recognise and understand my shit, for that is what I do for everyone in my life, and I have helped more than I receive.

I'll probably accidentally give you therapy, but thats fine, because you will uncover your depths and find meaning in this. it's not something that goes bad unless you are fundamentally, evil, even the most abusive relationship I was in, was benefited from this process. yes he's still narcissistic, but he is self-aware. and did I benefit, never, just know the anatomy of self-proclaimed narc and I still can't hate him. will get my civil claim one day.

I will fuck your mind without meaning too. but thats because I fuck my own mind. but the meaning is made in the man- some find this highly offensive or personal (its not). I fuck minds by my own overthinking, or over perception on many levels of reality. so join the ride, or don't come along at all. because once the rollercoaster is in motion, I have no control of what may or may not happen. it's purely experimental.

I am experimental.

and the women who are judging me, are not any better.

look within, and shut the fuck up. self-improve and quit this jealous divide and conquer bitchiness. I HATE gossip, bitches, snitches and fakers.

I look to other women who are intellectually, physically and spiritually "individual". and find value in superior status to my own, which is something my narcissistic ex taught me.

I look for mentors, and teachers and people who will teach me how to improve myself, which I am fearful to reconnect after something is amazing and I can't give anything back of positive value. I am sorry I am working on that.

I won't devalue those below me, but I also need to be mutually benefiting from a relationship.

I dont drag people down, I may disappear if I feel I am doing this by mistake. I am flakey as fuck, and sorry for that. its anxiety and lack of perfectionism, so I am wrong and bad for this. I can change. will change.

if you can find value with my relation, personal professional or romantic, we can move into a symbiotic beneficial agreement based on mutual "terms". but many won't or cannot see this, nor do I impose my bullshit into the lives of randoms at this age.

I don't care if this is cruel, it's real.

I value loyalty, compassion, self-insight/awareness, someone who understands all parts-spirituality, metaphysics while still having intellectual & logical & analytical brain-sight.

I enjoy music, magick and learning new things.

I do not care about appearances I dont think ive dated based on one time. I do value connections and chemistry which is far-few between, I hate fakers. I smell insincerity miles away. but I do respect women who are well-presented, or beautiful, with hair beauty and makeup, I can't do this shit well, so I look up to those who are in professions who do it like art. I find them to be genius level queens who scare me.

I call out bad behaviour and make people uncomfortable if they are repressed. I will change you without even meaning too, I don't even need to date you. its just my presence, over time, amplified by the intensity of the dynamics.

I don't want simplicity, but I also don't need over complexity.

I value passion, independence, creativity, curiosity, problem-solving, deep-disscussions, shared adventures and some occasional risk-taking (lol), sensuality and sexuality for a common cause beyond physical pleasure. I like being taught but not micromanaged. I need my own independence, and need to be trusted with that. I hate being scolded for that like a child, or being pushed to change my ways to conform to societal values. which I will push back and refuse to do. which is not healthy. I don't adult like many others do, but I try to proceed in other ways. and learn to adult like normal people, accept me.

I also value myself, and how I can be celebrated, enhanced and improved vs. the opposite.

I give space, and have boundaries, and understand human psychology, sexuality and relationships in ways few others unless they are trained, can do.

I value MY time. so you can have space to value YOURS. I dont need to be in anyones pocket for a long time. I love being alone, and being around people who are stimulating, but draining people will be drained out of my life quicker than I intend. I am sorry for the people who felt I disappeared, when I was only trying to be 'fair', if I feel I'm a bad influence, I will work on myself until I'm not. I'm still working on it.

I also use this psychology awareness, to enhance communication, connection. you may or may not become an accidental guinea pig. I will be upfront that I am experimental, but that is part of the buy ticket and take the ride. lets work together. not apart.

I am coming from a place of love, and love is what I feel for my animals, which you will be adopting as children.which I want to stop experiments being done on. I love love, in all ways, but hate cruelty of animals and children, violence and suffering. I dont advocate justice, because I find life is fucking cruel, unfair and unjust. by default, so I focus on myself. what can be changed, and what I am able to do in my own locus on control. I will always find myself drawn to the outsiders, the misfits, the vagabonds, the misunderstood. I want to help people who are society, or socially, disadvantaged by trauma and mental illness, but only when I have ability to help myself.

it's a journey.

I will not date anyone who is cruel to animals, outside of specify magical sacrifice, there is not any place for that. nor will I date or fraternise with anything or anyone linked or associated with pedophilia. I won't judge anyone on anything that are outside animal cruelty and pedophilia. I don't and haven't. I keep on good terms with every ex, bar 1 whom I only apologised too this year. it felt good to do that. I change my behaviour.

I am open, but also highly attuned to both logical, factual, empirical , scientific worlds, and spiritual, intuitive, psychic and the "collective unconscious". I walk in both these realms, and I am "conventionally attractive". which puts a lot of pressure on me, to be "stupid". I am always dumbing myself down to fit into normality, but I look ridiculous if I do that so I peacock my intellect.

only to be misconceived.

I give up because I no longer care how anyone but MYSELF can see ME. I won't dumb myself down , but I can enhance you UP. prepare yourself for graded education, evolution and self-growth on mass scales.sorry not sorry.

that sucks for the people who want to be living vicariously through me, for making up to lost trauma years, for family who sold me out for the success I'd bring home, or fake trauma enmeshed friends, or whatever they want or need from me. I value my time and energy, and have given that in abundance, and if you want to be with nut only "one part of me that is alters". I can't provide that now. not sorry.

I have to work on something or not be in a dynamic at all.

I no longer can switch on demand to adapt for you, it will not be effective and that upsets a lot of people. especially now I'm sober. harder to handle this, as I see the world for its ways and why it is, more vividly. I haven't had alcohol for almost 2 months, although, I could drink, I haven't.

I can't do it, anymore. it, being, faking, my selves fronting to impress. I can't. I have no more left to give, and I'm expected by everyone to be a way I can't do it in the way they want.

I will go to another year long outpatient DBT, followed by 10 weeks of A-C-T therapy, and however many ECT OR TMS may or may not help. I'm told it won't (ect) work. but TMS, is something I am open too. but I am telling you, none of this psychotherapy, that will be based on dbt skills, day therapy, intensive skills training, recommencing my studying, and resuming "life worth living" will or can wipe the traumas I've "recovered" memories for.

I will also shut the fuck up, and tell nobody about this if you leave me alone, I told that to my family, and this is open letter to the watchers, stalkers and perps who read this openly as I track the hits on here and have 200+ visits a day every day for the last month. globally. no idea how or who you are but I think its the same people who called the police for the "ayreon song lyrics" seen to be a suicide not last October.

thanks for that wake up call, I have shut the fuck up, since December, more so now. I will burn the journals, or lock them up.

my recovery is not linear, not yet fully integrated and I trust nobody so I don't think my psychotherapy will be deep, I focus on things like ADHD AND my EDNOS. and dbt skills. I won't be talking about sexual traumas.

enjoy the update, and thanks for the "attention".

I have my goals, my work, my meaning and what my life should and could and will look like, but I will not share that with anyone. that means everyone right now.

I've been tested, traumatised and terrorised to the point of not-tolerant of anyone who may bring that back, and banish the fuck out of my sphere every moment I need.

take me as I am, or watch me as I go, which I will go, where I am not wanted I will remove myself, but I will find where I am celebrated because I create that.

I will rise up against all adversity every time but that is survival and that created a resilient and brave woman, in me. who will not be destroyed or decomposed by humans who are fundamentally fucking evil.

I gift you my truth, in progression, and give up the pain of the past.

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nowandajenn · 4 years ago

Text

Day 4- Voyeurism (feat. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes)

Author’s Note: This is my first time writing Stucky, so be kind. Also, it’s KINKtober, so that pretty much just calls for the filthiest smut you can imagine. Don’t be ashamed. Go on, read it.

Warnings: This is literally just pure filth to satisfy my own sick little urges. Oral sex (m and f recieving), anal sex, vaginal sex, fingering, language, threesome. Like I said, pure filth. Hope you enjoy.

You loved Steve and Bucky. You really did. Having said that, you were convinced that they were LITERALLY trying to kill you. Cause of death? Constantly catching them in the act (or almost act) and promptly feeling like you were going to burst into flames. You absolutely loved their relationship and how comfortable they were with each other and their sexuality, but if you had to almost watch them go at it again, leaving you with sopping panties and a red face that would rival a tomato, you were going to scream. You were going through a massive dry spell and your toys just weren’t doing it for you like they used to. Plus, you had a sneaking suspicion that they actually wanted you to catch them.

You wake up in the middle of the night and look over at the digital alarm clock on your nightstand. 3:13am. Perfect. You untangle yourself from the sheets and blankets that are twisted around you and crawl out of bed, desperate for a glass of juice.

You don’t expect anyone to be up, especially at this hour. You shared a floor in the compound with Steve and Bucky, and Clint, who was almost never there. What you REALLY didn’t expect was to walk into the barely lit kitchen to see Steve leaned up against the counter, head thrown back and moaning, and Bucky, on his knees on the tile floor with his mouth wrapped around his boyfriend’s massive cock.

You’re not sure exactly how long you stand there transfixed by the sight before you, but when Steve makes eye contact with you, that snaps you out of your reverie really fucking quick. Before you turn to go back the way you came, you see a sly smirk come across Steve’s face as he threads his fingers through Bucky’s long dark hair, fucking his mouth harder.

All of the saliva in your mouth completely dries up and you almost choke to death, before turning and rushing back to your room, wondering how in the hell you’re going to be able to look Steve in the eye anymore.

You manage to avoid Steve and Bucky like the plague for the next couple days, which you hate doing. They’re your closest friends, and you love being with them, but after catching them in the kitchen, you’re pretty sure that you would’t be able to look at them both without your head catching on fire.

A little bit buzzed and slightly wired from a rare girl’s night out with some of your friends, you get out of the Uber and head inside, taking the elevator up to your floor.

When you close your bedroom door behind you and flip the switch to turn on the table lamp in the room, you almost scream.

“Jesus fucking- what......what the hell are you doing in here?” you gasp, hand over your fluttering heart.

“You’ve been avoiding us.” Steve says, getting up off the couch and walking towards you.

“No I haven’t. I’ve just been busy. Our paths just haven’t crossed in a few days. It happens.” It’s a weak excuse and you know it.

“Doll, don’t lie. We know you caught us in the kitchen the other night.” Bucky says, lounging on the loveseat.

You can feel your face burn with embarrassment. “Well, maybe next time don’t pull your cock out where someone can just walk in on you.” It comes out snarkier than you meant it to, and both men chuckle.

“Did you like it? Did you like watching Buck suck my cock? Did it turn you on?” Steve asks, stepping even closer to you. Jesus Christ, it is burning hot in here.

He uses his knuckle to tilt your head up so you’re looking in his eyes.

“Did it?”

“Y-yes.” you admit softly.

“Did you touch yourself that night? Did watching us make you wet?” Bucky asks.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

You drop your head but Steve tilts your chin up again.

“We know you’re not shy, doll. Why are you acting like it with us now?” he asks.

“Because....seeing the both of you like that.....it turned me on. It was hot. But it wasn’t my moment to walk in on.” you admit.

“What would you say if we told you that we like it when you watch us? The way you turn all red and get all flustered. You look so fucking cute.”

Bucky steps forward and before you can even breathe, his lips are on yours. A moan escapes your throat before you can even think to stop it, and you melt into him. What is even happening right now?

When you feel Steve come up behind you and gently move your hair away from your neck, you shudder in anticipation. His lips are soft and warm as they move over the delicate skin there, making your toes curl.

“Fuck.......oh my.......” you gasp out as you and Bucky part.

“What do you think, sweetheart? You want to watch us? You want to REALLY watch us?” he asks.

“Yes....please, yes.” you whimper.

Somewhere deep inside your desperately horny brain, you know that you should be feeling shame. Even a little bit of shame. But you’re not. But as you watch Steve and Bucky kiss and touch each other in front of you, you can’t bring yourself to feel anything but pure, unadulterated lust.

You can’t take your eyes off of their bodies, and you think to yourself that if you died right now, you’d die a happy girl. Both of them are built like brick walls. Strong chests with delicious pecs that you want to sink your teeth into, abs that you could scrub your lingerie on, and legs that are like tree trunks.

“Just enjoy the show, baby.” Steve murmurs in your ear.

You watch as they strip each other out of their clothes until they’re down to just two pairs of tight boxer briefs. Steve sinks to his knees, trailing wet sloppy kisses all down Bucky’s chest and stomach, stopping to slide his underwear down his legs. His cock springs free from it’s confines, damn near smacking Steve in the mouth.

He takes Bucky’s thick cock in is hand, pumping it slowly with long, languid strokes before darting his tongue out to lick at the tip. Bucky throws his head back, one hand on Steve’s shoulder and one on his head.

“Fuck.....Stevie.” he groans out.

You watch in awe as Steve deep throats his lover like a fucking champ, while Bucky keeps his eyes on you.

“Take off your clothes, doll. Get comfortable. I want to see what you have on under that little dress of yours.”

You stand from the chair and slowly reach behind you, unzipping your dress and letting it fall to the ground, leaving you in a white lace bra and matching G string.

“Fuck.....look at that. Stevie, look at our gorgeous girl.” Bucky moans out.

Steve turns his head to get a good look at you, while still keeping Bucky firmly in his mouth. He lets out a moan and dips his hand into his own underwear to fist his cock.

You sit back down on the plush chair, throwing one leg over the side so that you’re wide open for them. If they’re going to put on a show for you, you’re damn well going to return the favor.

You run your fingertips up and down your wet folds, smearing your arousal around, toying with yourself as you watch the boys take each other apart piece by piece.

When Bucky finally cums, it’s magnificent. You watch as hot streams of thick, white cum shoot out from his tip, landing on Steve’s face and neck. You let out a loud moan at the sight, completely unashamed.

“Look at her, Stevie. Look how wet she is. You can see it from here.”

Your brain must be temporarily out to lunch, because you find yourself practically floating over to them. Without any provocation, you slide your finger through the mess on Steve’s neck and bring it to your mouth, moaning at the taste. You do it again, this time offering your finger to Steve, and when he takes it and sucks on it much like he just did with Bucky’s dick, another wave of arousal floods your pussy.

Once all the traces of his cum are gone from Steve’s beautiful face, Bucky turns you around to face him, gripping your hips and bringing you in for a filthy kiss, tasting himself on your tongue. His fingertips dance down your body until they meet the apex of your thighs.

“Oh, honey. You’re fucking DRENCHED.” he moans out, sliding his fingers through your wetness. You watch as he brings his coated fingers to his mouth, sucking your arousal off of them and groaning.

“Fuck doll....you taste so fucking good. So sweet.”

“What do you want? What do you want to watch us do next? Hmm?” Steve murmurs in your ear. His chest is pressed to your back, and his big hands are splayed over your hips as he gently grinds his cock into your ass. You’re still having trouble believing that this is all actually happening right now, but you’re just going to go with it and worry about the consequences later.

“I want......” you gasp out, trying to keep your knees from buckling from the pleasure that they’re inflicting on you. “Jesus....I want to watch Bucky fuck you. I want to watch you take him.”

Bucky gives you a devilish smirk before bringing you in for another filthy kiss. He cocks his head toward Steve.

“You heard the lady. Get on the bed.”

Watching Bucky open Steve up with his fingers and his tongue is a wonder to behold. You sit, mesmerized at the foot of the bed, as Bucky slides his fingers in and out of Steve, his eager hole sucking them in as far as they’ll go.

“Fuck, Stevie. You’re taking his fingers so well.” you purr.

A moan slips from his lips as he keens under the praise, and he brings his hand over to clench your thigh. You run your fingers through his hair softly, helping him relax as Bucky works him open.

“You better watch out because Stevie has a praise kink. You keep talking like that and this will be over before it starts.” he teases.

Once he’s sufficiently stretched, you move next to Bucky as he slips his cock past Steve’s tight little hole, gasping as it stretches to accommodate Bucky’s wide girth. Stevie moans as he pushes farther into his ass until he’s in him to the hilt. You run your fingers lightly up and down Steve’s back as Buck grips his hips and starts thrusting into him slowly, getting him used to it.

“Oh my....you look so fucking pretty like this. I love watching his cock drive in and out of your little asshole, baby.” you moan out.

Steve moans and grips the sheets in his fists.

“Fuck, I want.......I want...” he groans out.

“What do you want, baby?”

“I want to taste her. Please. Let me taste her, daddy.”

Oh. Oh shit. Who knew you were dealing with a praise kink AND a daddy kink here?

“You want to let Stevie taste you doll? You want him to eat that pretty little pussy of yours?” Bucky asks, grinning at you.

You nod slowly, pulling your ruined panties off and positioning yourself so that you’re laying under Steve while Bucky continues fucking into him. You have to admit, there’s no beating the view you have. Steve’s face buried between your legs, devastating you with his tongue and fingers, Bucky above him, snapping his hips against Steve’s ass, their skin making the most delicious sound as they smack against each other.

“You’re so beautiful, baby doll. You look so good splayed out underneath me. You don’t know how many times I imagine this for the three of us. You don’t know how much we’ve wanted you right here in this position.” Steve groans out as he pumps three thick fingers in and out of your cunt. If you had any working brain cells at the particular moment, you’d probably be embarrassed, but right now you don’t give a shit.

“God, please, don’t stop. I’m gonna cum....” you pant, gripping his hair and tugging, making him fucking GROWL.

With a few more thrusts of his fingers and his tongue dancing over your clit, your orgasm slams through you, making you arch your back and scream his name.

“Christ, doll, you’re so pretty when you cum.” Bucky pants out.

Once you catch your breath, you reach down and take Steve’s rock hard cock in your hand, pumping it in time with Bucky’s thrusts. You can tell that he’s not going to last much longer, and you want to bring Steve over the edge with him. You watch both of their faces as you stroke him, both completely blissed out and drunk on pleasure.

“Oh....oh fuck.....I gotta cum....I can’t hold on....” Steve whimpers.

“Cum in me.” you whisper.

With a harsh thrust, he sheathes himself in your tight channel and it only takes two deep strokes into you before you feel his cock swell, filling you with his seed. Bucky reaches his end shortly after, thrusting hard into Steve, who in turn thrusts hard into you, bringing you to another orgasm.

The of you stay connected like that for a few moments, breathing heavily and coming down from the intense pleasure of what just happened.

“I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship.” Bucky smirks he watches Steve kiss you.

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caligobeltrao · 5 years ago

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Norman Bates NSFW Alphabet

Little preface, this would be a while into being intimate, because frankly, I hc that Norman would have extreme anxiety on top of all of the other issues that he has with sex. To be fair, these issues would still crop up (ie having to stop in the middle due to a panic attack, something something “mother” something, etc.).

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Uh... literal king of aftercare. He is such a nuturing person that, even in the literal most vanilla circumstances, he would wanna make sure you’re okay, nothing hurts, if it does how he can help, do you want a bath? he’ll run you a bath. He does prefer you like actually tell him what you want though, and he thrives off routine, so if it seems like each time you say “bath, snacks, cuddles” that’s what he’ll do until told otherwise. Literally tell him to calm down and relax please.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

I don’t think he likes his body very much. If pushed, he’d probably say hands tho. It’s also hard to pin down for his partner because like... they’re perfect??? How could you pick??? Again, if pushed, he’d probably say their eyes. He’s a sap. :’-)

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

OH my god, he hates cum. It’s messy and sticky and gross. If you also have a dick, he would really prefer you both wear condoms to try and negate as much of the mess as possible lmao. Either way, whatever genitals you have, he’s changing the sheets asap.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has watched and really enjoyed watching you touch yourself without you knowing. Or, well, he thinks without you knowing. He was so ashamed and never wants to tell you, but somehow, he keeps happening to walk by your shared bedroom door slightly cracked with you touching yourself, moaning his name.... Weird how that works.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

None. Pretty sure he’s never even jacked off.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Missionary. Basic, but he really loves to be as close as physically possible and look into your eyes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He’s more on the serious side, but you could probably get him to smile and loosen up from time to time.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He would’ve kept everything tidy but not super groomed, but as soon as you guys get comfortable, he wants your direction on that. He has no true preference so he would rather you tell him what to do. He’s such a sub.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Again, he prefers holding you super close, all the sweet nothings, definitely one to say I love you as he cums. He also likes setting up sweet surprises, like a nice bath for you to relax in or a meal to come home to.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

Before you, he probably just... didn’t. Again, it’s super messy and he has some issues, so it’s not super high on his list. Even with you he doesn’t unless you ask for him to so you can watch. Super enjoyable on both ends.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise kink praise kink praise kink please tell him he’s doing good he craves Validation. He also really likes giving validation, so it’s a two way street. Also definite voyeur kink.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, preferably in the motel. I’m sure you could easily convince him to do it in other places, but the poor baby would be so nervous the entire time that it wouldn’t be very enjoyable.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

To be completely sappy for a moment: you. You protect him and love him and care for him that his heart overflows with love and words fail and the only way he can even try to show you how much he appreciates and cares for you is by making you feel good, if that’s what you wanted.

To be less sappy: well timed compliments, casual touching of his back or arm, being generally affectionate, doing something for him, etc.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t want anything to do with knife play or hurting you, if only out of the worry that Mother might show up. For the most part, though, you could really convince him to try anything because he wants to please you. Just make sure you get really good at reading him first so you know when he’s pushing himself instead of setting boundaries like he should.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving 110%. He gets really tense recieving because he would worry about you or think you’re getting hurt or bored, but he would gladly die giving you head. Not great at first (really timid, and again for people with dicks, his gag reflex is kinda strong), but once you give him a little instruction, and with all the practice he happily puts in, he would be really good.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

While he’s definitely increased in speed since the beginning, he still prefers slow and sweet. Fast and rough is just an accident waiting to happen and he doesn’t want you hurt. Now, if you happen to get on top and control the speed yourself, he gets really into it, he’s just a little too in his own head to initiate that himself.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t care for them. Most of his ideas of sex and physical intimacy revolve around pleasing you and making you feel good, and he would prefer taking time with that.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

I feel like a broken record, but if you asked, he would do nearly anything you wanted. He would rarely if ever offer up something to

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Probably could only go for one, maybe two rounds max himself, but again, he really loves giving head. Lasts for a decent amount of time and prefers having you tell him when he’s allowed to cum.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He wouldn’t, but wouldn’t be opposed to using them. He would mostly think in context for you, but would be on board with trying them himself at your suggestion.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He doesn’t tease at all really, just moves at a slower pace. He’d have a fairly good idea of when he needs to go faster or do something to make you feel good, so it would never be drawn out on his end. However... edge this man. Tease him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I hc him to be just so loud. He definitely doesn’t want to be and he tries to hold it in, but when you get really into it he gets loud without realizing it. Voice cracking, keens and whiny moans. Very good shit.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

You would have to have a talk about him setting his own boundaries and sticking to them. Like, he wants you to be happy, which is sweet, but he’ll take it too far and put himself in uncomfortable positions or work himself too hard. In the end, the phrasing that would get through to him would be something along the lines of “I know you want me to be happy, and you actively making yourself hurt or uncomfortable or anxious because I want to do something makes me very unhappy.” That lesson would still take a hot minute to sink in tho. :/

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Little longer than average but on the thinner side.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty low. Also probably why he prefers giving head. Gets you off and he doesn’t have to try and get it up if he doesn’t feel in the mood.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Not quickly at all. He probably still, even after being intimate with you for a while, has shocks of anxiety and guilt running through him after sex. He would tell you it’s because he wants to make sure you fall asleep first, but he’d probably be awake for a long while afterward, if he sleeps at all that night. Though, to him, it could be a plus because he could cuddle you or get more work done at night.

#norman bates x reader #norman bates #norman bates x you #psycho 1960 #slasher x reader #lemon

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