#i have nothing funny to say. here's a meme

[mordredpendragon]

hiii cain. for the ask meme: yvain of the lion!

YESSS OUR BOY !!!! thank you cen!

here's an yvain doodle for you! <3

putting the ask game under the cut

favorite thing about them

HIS LION <3 unironically my fav. that's his big kitty. gawain is to gringolet is to yvain is to his lion. i think its really funny that yvain just treats his lion like you would with a dog

ALSOOOOOOOO his madness arc.... the fact that he's divorced canonically is hilarious to me. he got divorced then got remarried. hilarious. he's laudine's puppydog forever

least favorite thing about them

nothing why would there be smth i dislike about yvain our boy. maybe the lack of retellings or modern stories that feature or center yvain? we need sooooo much more of him!

favorite line

changed my brain chemistry i fear. (source)

arthurian men yearning for their lady loves seriously hits different

brOTP

HIM AND GAWAIN 100% THEY'RE SO GOOD AAAHHHHH I LOVE FAMILY.

this part from Yvain: Knight of the Lion by M. T. Anderson KILLS MEEEEEE.

they're also together all the time in medlit, like in the welsh peredur, the knights peredur first meets (and befriends) is literally gwalchmai and owain.

Peredur son of Efrog tl. Sioned Davies

they're family attached by the hip + the fact that gawain literally followed yvain into banishment after he defended his mom morgan after trying to kill urien drives me insane. i love them. they're family its so important. doesn't help that @queer-ragnelle rewired my brain chemistry on their friendship/dynamic through her books lol. they're flops together and they're best friends its great.

and speaking of morgan, they're another dynamic i thinkn about so often too.

yvain loves his mommy !!!! steinbeck srsly changed me i NEEEDDDDD more stuff that includes him as morgan's son i think it's such an underrated and underutilized dynamic, there's so much to unpack there

The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by John Steinbeck

I FEEL CRAZYYYYYY. + ewain saying that morgan never used magic and that she warns him against it? BRUHHHHH STEINBECK COME BACK AN YVAIN CENTRIC RETELLING COMING FROM YOU WOUL'VE BEEN SO FIREEEEE

OTP

him and his wifey laudine <3 <3 <3 <3 what else could there be <3

nOTP

i don't really have any tbh. just no incest ships for me.

random headcanon

i think he and laudine are into some crazy bdsm femdom shit in the bedroom does that count.

unpopular opinion

i don't really have an unpopular opinion i just think he should be utilized more. i'm pretty neutral on morgan's son being mordred in retellings/film, but it would be nice to see it be yvain for a change

favorite picture of them

pretty much everything in The Knight With the Lion by John Howe, John Howe is an artist i admire for his work in Lord of the Rings, so him having worked on Arthuriana as well is great!

[f1-tennisgirlie]

while i am on a roll, just decided to write another funny scene where some of the dumbasses hold an intervention for them so here goes <3

(p.s i wrote them as tennis players here idk why 😭😭)

A few days after the internet had barely started recovering from the married bombshell, their friends decided they had had enough.

It started when Lorenzo Musetti (still not over the betrayal) rallied a group chat titled “Intervention for Sinneralcaraz”—yes, a ship name, because even in his dramatics, he couldn’t help but be on-brand.

Lorenzo: “This is an emergency.” Daniil Medvedev: “They will not take us seriously.” Stefanos Tsitsipas: “They never take us seriously.” Casper Ruud: “We are seriously unserious people.” Matteo Berrettini: “Can’t believe I found out about their marriage through a meme.” Lorenzo: “Exactly. That’s why we must act.”

Somehow, within hours, Lorenzo had orchestrated a full-blown Intervention Zoom Call.

Jannik and Carlos? Invited under false pretenses.

When they logged in, sunglasses on, cocktails still in hand, they were greeted by way too many people sitting in deadpan silence.

Lorenzo: “Sit down.” Carlos: “We are sitting?” Jannik: “Why do you look like you’re about to read us our last rites?”

Daniil, who had clearly been chosen as spokesperson against his will, sighed. “We are here because you two are menaces.”

Matteo: “We lived through the fan account era. We lived through the constant Twitter wars. But the fact that you were MARRIED through all of it—” He actually clutched his chest. “I have never felt so foolish in my life.”

Lando Norris popped up in the corner of the screen. “I feel like I should sue.”

Pierre Gasly: “What was the reason?”

Jannik took a sip of his drink. “Entertainment.”

Carlos nodded. “It was funny.”

Lorenzo screamed.

Novak Djokovic, who had joined halfway through just to witness the chaos, finally spoke up. “I have won 24 Grand Slams, and even I did not see this plot twist coming.”

Rafa Nadal, rubbing his temples, sighed. “Carlos. Mi hijo. How did I not know?”

Carlos, casually: ��You never asked.”

Andy Murray: “I have watched a lot of absurd things happen in this sport, but nothing—nothing—comes close to the two of you gaslighting the entire internet while wearing wedding rings.”

Jannik, smirking: “Thank you.”

Daniil Medvedev: “THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT.”

Emma Raducanu, from her box, just shook her head. “I’m just here for the live entertainment.”

Stefanos Tsitsipas finally cut in. “Okay. Serious question. Were you ever actually beefing? Or was it all a long con?”

Carlos: “Oh, we were absolutely beefing sometimes.” Jannik: “There were genuine arguments. I stand by the fact that your takes were criminal.” Carlos: “And I stand by the fact that I was always right.” Jannik: “See? This is why you’re insufferable.” Carlos: “And yet, you still married me.”

Lorenzo fake gasped. “Divorce. Immediately.”

Novak, exhausted: “I cannot believe I canceled practice for this.”

Andy, visibly amused: “Lorenzo, you are acting like a jilted lover.”

Lorenzo: “I WAS LIED TO. WE WERE ALL LIED TO.”

Jannik: “Again. We literally invited you to the wedding.”

Carlos, sipping his drink: “You just didn’t read the email.”

Lorenzo: [inaudible screaming]

Daniil, massaging his temples: “I have wasted years trying to mediate your online fights. Do you know how many times I’ve had to say ‘just block him’?”

Jannik: “Oh, I did. But then I unblocked him because I missed bullying him.”

Carlos: “Aww, babe.”

Matteo: “No. Nope. Absolutely not.”

Casper, looking horrified: “Wait. How long have you been married?”

Carlos: “Define long.”

Lando: “BRO.”

Novak, muting himself because he was actually laughing too hard, waved a hand. “I am done. You two are impossible.”

Rafa, still distressed: “Carlos. I need to process this.”

Andy: “You need to process this? I’m never trusting anyone again.”

Emma: “I mean. Low-key? This was iconic.”

Pierre: “No. It was criminal.”

George Russell, from the background: “Both can be true.”

Lorenzo: “I will be pressing charges.”

Jannik: “On what grounds?”

Lorenzo: “EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.”

Carlos: “L take.”

Stefanos: “Can we at least get one serious answer? What made you guys finally drop the act?”

Jannik shrugged. “Some random person said, ‘imagine if they were actually dating,’ and we thought it’d be funny to go radio silent.”

Carlos grinned. “Then Jannik dropped the vacation pic, and we just watched the world burn.”

Daniil, visibly regretting every life decision that led him to this moment: “You two are evil.”

Carlos, smug: “And married.”

Jannik: “Don’t forget that part.”

Lorenzo, barely holding it together: “I need to lie down.”

Novak, standing up: “This was deeply unproductive. Thank you for wasting my time.”

Carlos: “Anytime.”

Jannik: “This was fun. Let’s do it again soon.”

[END CALL.]

And that’s how the world’s most unserious sports intervention ended—with zero resolutions, infinite chaos, and the married menaces continuing to reign supreme.

sincaraz au where they both run fan/update accounts for rival players/teams (big4? f1? football? etc.) and have beef but also flirt like crazy on the tl and subject all their followers to watching whatever the hell is going on between them and then bam they fall in love and somehow people find out they're dating/married/fucking/etc.

OR they're already dating/married/fucking/etc. but they have beef and flirt on the tl for fun

[beedreamscape]

[physics-of-one-piece]

“Answer these two questions! Where is the Op-Op Fruit and where is Law?”

+ Doflamingo's reaction to finding out Law ate the Op-Op Fruit and that Law is "with the Navy"

Donquixote Doflamingo (ONE PIECE #706)

[lore-grandma]

Me: *really liking to cook and bake things*

My hands:

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[redflannelsheets]

.

[grapecaseschoices]

@dakotawritesif tagged me to do my top nine shows! this is going to be a mix of shows i have/am really enjoying recently along with old faves. 

tagging: @dwead-piwate-meggers @clintnatalias @trebondialanna @horchatabun @thelittlestspider @thee-morrigan @laufire @callmetippytumbles @serenpedac @watertribegirl @veeteeshirt @santir0sales and whoever else wants to!

[gothcarmelasoprano]

maw why are these troll accounts linked through my ex best friends STILL following me

[phantomrose96]

I'm thinking about Tumblr Live again and ruminating on WHY it's such a huge flop and I think I've figured it out: They've completely refused to make it a tumblr feature...

By which I mean (begrudgingly goes to unsnooze Tumblr live) this:

^This is meant with zero insult or derision to the people above, but these are absolutely not Tumblr users.

Every single thumbnail I've ever seen for Tumblr live seems to say "This is for clout!" "This is for a thirst trap!" "This is for influencers!" "This is for Tiktok wannabe stars!" "This is for showing your pretty filtered face and reaping what people on Instagram and Tiktok are desperately chasing!"

I'm remembering that Reddit has (or had) livestreams you could tune into like this. I've tapped into some. Ones I remember offhand include:

a guy just wandering around downtown in his city silently showing people the streets and stuff

a guy streaming his attempt to beat the last level of Celeste

a guy streaming his dog he was petting

And that, that was Reddit. That was undoubtedly just regular Reddit users going "oh stream feature? yeah okay. here's my dog." "here's my video game." "here's my street corner in Prague."

And when I think of all the recent successful Tumblr features, they're all things that correctly tapped into actual Tumblr user interests. Blaze had people go "haha yeah here's my dog." "here's my advertisement for a horse lawyer (lawyer who is a horse)." They let us buy crabs because, fuck it, crabs. The blue checkmarks were funny. Polls turned into the fandom brackets people have desperately wanted to make for a decade+. I'd wager the merch that calls on old Tumblr memes is at least decently successful.

If Tumblr Live wanted the chance to be successful, it should have been angled toward Tumblr users. "Here, you can livestream your cat if you want." "You can livestream yourself working on some fanart and chatting." "You can livestream yourself going bird watching because birds are your hyperfixation and you can identify them all by their song to all your followers who want to tune in for bird facts."

But Tumblr Live has never tried to be that. It ONLY seems like it wants to be a Tiktok-clone, Instagram-clone, clout-chaser baited-hook trying to pull converts over from Tiktok/Insta/etc who are trying to grow their influencer brand, which Tumblr is lethally hostile to.

(And ALL of this is only touching on the concept behind what's happening here. I haven't even touched on the third-party streaming service and questionable data protection.)

Like fine, I guess I get it from a business model of trying to grow your userbase--since catering to your existing userbase doesn't pull in new meat. But this will not work. Because anyone, tumblr-native or not, trying to grow themselves as an influencer will NOT find success here. This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. We will not watch your Shein haul stream.

[kookooluvr]

Teach Me How To Love - Part 2

pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers

genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.

summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.

rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !

word count: 2.7k

warnings: we meet jk's friends and tae makes his first appearance (we'll be seeing a lot more of him in future), oc is sick with a cold, jk is a simp and drops everything to make her feel better, lots of fluff, nothing explicit in this one, we find out some more of oc's rules, SATC mentioned, some marvel talk, talk of jk having a nice ass, mostly just lots of soft feels in this one <3

author's note: i'm so happy to see the amount of love part 1 got !!! part 2 is a bit shorter, but i think it's important to see their dynamic outside of the whole fwb thing. i'm aiming for the upcoming parts to be longer, i promise. i hope you enjoy all the feels in this one, and don't be shy to send me your feedback 🫶🏻

find tmhtl masterlist here

Jungkook sits at a table in a rather fancy restaurant, half-listening to his friends as they joke about something over dinner. They've been meaning to get together for a while but they've all been so busy with work and their personal lives that it just never worked out until tonight. Well, it worked out tonight because Taehyung practically forced everyone to come.

"Yo, earth to Jungkook."

He looks over at Jimin with raised eyebrows, realizing he was caught staring at his phone in his lap. He knows he should be paying attention to the conversation happening around him, and he knows that it's rude to be on his phone while he's in company, but he hasn't heard from you all day and usually you would've exchanged words (or funny memes) by now.

It's not that he MUST speak to you all day, every day to survive, but it just happens. If he sees a funny video of a cat on TikTok, he sends it to you. If you forgot how to do something on Excel, you text him and he replies within two minutes to explain how to do it. Sometimes he even goes through the trouble of doing it himself, screen recording it and sending it to you to give you a step-by-step guide. That's just how it goes with the two of you.

"Huh? Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was just asking if there's a special someone in your life," Jimin says with a little grin, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

"Actually, what he asked was if you're still on track to die alone," Namjoon quips, Jimin waving him off with a little "eh, same thing".

Jungkook rolls his eyes, flatly denying any romantic relations. It's not like he's lying. He just can't say that he might have started developing feelings for the woman he's casually sleeping with, so he just settles on, "Naah, I'm too busy with work." It's easier.

They know their friend is a terrible liar, but they also know that he would tell them if he really wanted to, so they don't pry. They've heard your name once or twice in passing, a little comment here and there like '___ likes that movie' or '___ uses this perfume'. As far as they know, you're his work friend. That's it. Even Taehyung doesn't know much about you, and he works at the same university as an English Literature lecturer, which brings us to rule #2.

Rule #2: It stays between us. It's just less complicated if less people know, and Jungkook knows that if his friends knew about it, they'd be pestering him about you all night and he doesn't need that right now, especially when his eyes drift back down to his phone and there's still no text from you.

You're in bed, surrounded by snotty tissues and a sleeping Miso, who really couldn't care less that you just underwent a violent coughing fit. You're about to doze off, when your phone buzzes on the nightstand. You check the notification, and when you see who it's from, you swear you feel your heart rate rise, but maybe it's just from all the coughing.

prof jeon |7:50pm]: hey, you. prof jeon 17:50pm]: haven't heard from you all day... prof jeon [7:51pm]: are you mad at me bc i said sex in the city was boring??? 👀😭😭

You [7:51pm]: first of all, it's sex AND the city 💀 You [7:52pm]: and it's not boring, you're just a nerd who can't watch anything other than marvel

He laughs, knowing he should've expected that response. Your next message comes through shortly after.

You [7:53pm]: sorry for the radio silence You [7:53pm]: i have a nasty cold 😵‍💫 You [7:53pm]: feel like i was hit by a bus You [7:53pm]: took some cough drops and slept for most of the day

He really shouldn't feel the need to immediately rush to your aid, but he does.

prof jeon [7:53pm]: want me to come over?

You [7:54pm]: you don't have to do that, kook You [7:54pm]: i don't wanna get my germs all over you 😕

prof jeon [7:54pm]: don't be silly   prof jeon [7:54pm]: i’ve had your bodily fluids on me before, who cares about a little snot 😂😂😂   prof jeon [7:55pm]: i can be there in a little bit 

You [7:56pm]: you're gross 🙄 You [7:56pm]: and really nice

prof jeon [7:56pm]: see you in a bit x

He excuses himself from dinner with the excuse of a family emergency and promises his friends to hang out again soon. He grabs his coat and heads out to his car, making a stop at your favourite Thai restaurant for some pho before driving over to your place.

You unlocked the door to your apartment and dragged yourself back to bed as soon as he texted you to let you know he's on his way up. You hear the door open and in walks Jungkook, looking very handsome you might add.

"You're dressed awfully fancy to take care of my cold," you tease with a little smile, your eyes drifting down to the plastic bag in his hand, a bag you know all too well due to countless trips to that specific Thai restaurant. "And you brought food?"

He smiles as he removes his coat and walks over to the side of your bed, placing the pho on your nightstand before sitting down on the edge of the bed, clearly not bothered by the array of tissues scattered around the duvet. Miso sees him and gets up from her spot on the bed, sauntering off to the living room, almost as if she knows her mom is about to get folded like a pretzel again. But Jungkook's not here for that tonight.

"I was actually out at dinner with some friends when I texted you. And I thought you might've been too lazy to get up and actually eat dinner, so I brought soup."

The thought of him dropping his plans with his friends just to come over and take care of you fills you with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Maybe it's just your high temperature. Maybe it's the fact that he's just so kind to you. Whatever the reason may be, you're too sick and weak to fight the soft smile tugging at your lips.

"Thank you, Jungkook."

"Don't thank me. I just didn't want you to drown in your own mucus."

Your laugh makes his heart feel funny, even if it barely managed to escape your sore throat.

He opens the lid of the steaming hot pho and holds a spoonful to your lips. If you were your usual healthy self, you would've told him that you're fully capable of feeding yourself, but you're sick and vulnerable and he has that soft look in his eyes, so you let him feed you the soup. It's warm and a little spicy, and it instantly makes you feel better as it slides down your throat. It's just that good. That, and the fact that he bought it for you and drove all this way to feed it to you.

He makes sure you take any necessary medication and even helps you flip over to lay on your stomach so that he can rub some VapoRub on your back, his hands giving you the comfort you didn't know you so desperately needed.

You aren't used to being taken care of by such a gentle man. He blows on your soup for you so that you don't burn your tongue. He wets a cloth with cold water and lays it on your forehead to bring down your temperature. He touches you like you're some delicate porcelain that could break at any moment. When he lays down with you and runs his fingers through your hair, you don't fight it. When he presses a soft kiss to your cheek, you don't protest like you normally would because rule #3 is no kissing outside of sex but you don't even care right now. You let him take care of you when you normally wouldn't. You allow yourself to be taken care of because it feels too good to overthink.

Jungkook feels a bit selfish for relishing in your current state because it allows him to care for you in your time of need. He would do it for any of his friends because that's the type of person he is, but this is different. This is you, and he would drive for hours and hours to get to you if you ever needed him. He would put everything on hold to be there for you. Hell, he would run into a burning building if you were in there. Because it's you.

He props his head up on his elbow and looks down at you, taking in your fevery flushed cheeks, your heavy-lidded eyes, your stuffy nose, and he thinks that no other woman will ever be as beautiful to him as you. He's not Taehyung. He doesn't teach literature and he doesn't have the best way with words, but he could spend hours writing poetry about the sound of your laugh or how animated you get when you're really passionate about something. He could sit and watch paint dry all day if you sat by his side and did it with him.

Jungkook takes the tv remote from the nightstand to turn on Sex and The City, clicking on a random episode from season 6 and getting comfortable next to you.

"What happened to Sex and The City being boring, hm?" you chuckle, giving him a teasingly pointed look.

"What, you want me to turn it off?"

"No, I just thought you didn't like it."

"But you like it."

You turn your attention back to the tv as a smile threatens to break out on your face, your head turned so that he doesn't see how much that simple response affected you.

He barely remembers the characters' names or much of the plot, but you enjoy the show, so he watches it with you, making comments here and there and even asking questions just so he can listen to your voice as you explain why Carrie Bradshaw does what she does. He mentally pats himself on the back for getting through a good handful of episodes before inevitably getting bored.

When you get up to go to the bathroom, he just can't help himself and turns on one of the Avengers movies, offering you a sheepish grin when you come back and see what's on your tv.

You roll your eyes and get back in bed, watching Iron Man perform a monologue for the millionth time. "Captain America's better."

He gives you a look like you just killed his dog or something, and you already know what's coming.

"Are you insane?! Iron Man is so obviously the best Avenger, ___."

"He doesn't look like Captain America, though."

"He doesn't have to," he scoffs, looking back at the tv. "He's got that whole rich CEO thing going for him. Plus, he's like, a genius."

"Nerds defending nerds, I guess," you tease with a faint smile.

He grins, a hint of smugness in his expression. "Are you saying I'm like Iron Man? Because if you are, that's a huge compliment."

"Iron Man's a bit more of a bad boy," you chuckle, narrowing your eyes at him as you try to think of who he resembles in the Avengers. "You're more...boy next door, kinda like Spider Man."

"Wha- excuse me, I can be a bad boy too if I want," he quips, trying to sound offended, but when you mention Spider Man it kinda makes up for it. "I guess I'll take Spider Man. I do have a nice ass."

You laugh, giving him a puzzled look. "Who said anything about Spider Man's ass?"

"He's like, known for having a great ass. Have you seen him in his suit?"

"So, that's it? That's why you'd make a good superhero? Because you have a nice ass?"

"Well...not just my ass. I'd make a great superhero because...y'know...great power, great responsibility and all that other stuff."

You scoff, shrugging like you can't argue with that.

He's quiet for a while, a full-blown fight scene playing out on the tv, his mind starting to wander a bit.

"You'd be Black Widow. You've got that badass, independent woman vibe," he murmurs, looking over at you with a soft smile.

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah. You're smart, confident, you don't take crap from anyone. Plus, you'd look really hot in the tight outfit." He just can't help himself.

You roll your eyes, softly swatting his bicep. "Of course that's what you think of."

He chuckles, shrugging his shoulders, feigning innocence. "Hey, what can I say? I'm a man, I like what I like."

And I like you. He can't say it out loud, but acknowledging it is enough for now, and when the cough syrup starts taking effect and your eyes slowly start to droop, he feels content with just having your head on his chest.

His phone buzzes and he pulls it out of his pocket to see a text from Taehyung, and your eyes are barely open when they land on the screen. You didn't even mean to look, it was kinda just an instinctive thing, but you're not interested in his private texts from his friends. What catches your eye is the photo on his lock screen. It's a photo of the two of you from a year ago, both of you making silly faces at the camera. It's a cute photo. If anyone else were to see it, they'd think you're a couple.

“I didn't know that’s your lock screen,” you mumble, your voice a lot sleepier than it was an hour ago.

“Are you snooping?” he teases with a little scoff.

“I didn't mean to look, your phone is kinda in my face from this angle,” you murmur through a soft chuckle, looking down at the photo.

“I like this photo of us.” He smiles when you tap the screen after it goes black, wanting to get another look.

“Coulda used one that I actually look pretty in,” you murmur jokingly, and as the cough syrup drains the last of your consciousness, the last thing you hear is a soft, “But you’re always pretty, ___.”

The next morning, you wake up feeling a little bit disorientated after taking all that cold medicine, blinking a few times to clear your vision. You slowly sit up in bed and check your phone, seeing that it's 10am. You almost think you overslept for work, but you realize it's Sunday. You think back to the night before, the way Jungkook came over and fed you soup, the way he gently put VapoRub on your back and made sure you were well taken care of. You turn your head to find Miso in the spot that Jungkook was in last night, and you would feel disappointed that he’s not there anymore if Miso weren't so damn cute. It's not like you expected him to still be here this morning. After all, staying the night is another boundary you don't cross, and he respects that, which explains why he left a little while after you fell asleep.

You feel that fuzzy feeling in your chest again when you take a better look at what's on your nightstand. Your water bottle stands tall, which Jungkook filled before he left last night, along with a little note from one of the notebooks on your desk.

The note says, 'Hope you're feeling a bit better. Get lots of rest and drink your fluids. Don't worry about falling asleep, Miso made sure I saw myself out. Hope to see you at work tomorrow xx'

You read the note again, and then again. It's simple but thoughtful. He didn't have to write a note. He didn't have to come over last night to tend to your illness, but he did, and you aren't surprised because he's him. That's just what he does.

You think about last night until you have to consciously stop yourself from smiling so much because your cheeks feel a bit stiff. You grab your phone from the nightstand and scroll to his contact, your fingers quickly sliding across the keyboard.

You [10:23am]: thank you for coming over last night, kook You [10:23am]: i owe you fr

prof jeon [10:25am]: you really don't 🙄 prof jeon [10:25am]: i just wanted to be there for you prof jeon [10:26am]: it's what spider man would've done 👀

You [10:26am]: 👁️👄👁️ You [10:26am]: nerd

< Part 1 || Part 3 >

[darnell-la]

Please I need more “drive-by sniffing” It’s so funny to me but also I’m into it

warnings: jealousy, hiding keys, sniff-by (drive by sniffing), lying, teasing, trapping, kissing, carrying, oral (fem receiving), etc.

note: perv!logan???? FUCKIN’ HELL.

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

“They’re just a friend, Wade” y/n sighed as Wade kept complaining about where and why she was going. She was trying to find her keys and he knew for a fact he took them.

“Where are they, Wade? I told you I was leaving before I took a shower and now they’re off the kitchen counter so — Where are they!?” Y/n yelled at the man, making Logan choke on his beer.

“I don’t know, peanuts. Maybe it’s lost up your ass,” Wade shrugged as he got up and slipped his shoes on. “Shame on you for leaving mister I have no life and I hate everyone and everything, over there. Maybe you couldn’t take him on a date,”

“It’s not a date!” She yelled at the man, knowing this might be, but it was none of his business. “Yeah, sure it’s not, but since it’s so not a date, why not take Grandpa with you? He hasn’t seen the sun in a while,” Wade whispered.

Before y/n could say anything, he left, shutting the door hard and singing as he skipped down the hall, ready to go see Vanessa. “Dick shit,” said under her breath.

“Language, young lady,” Logan chuckled as he took a sip of his ninth beer. “Who are you? The god of prohibited language?” Y/n rolled her eyes at the man before she continued her search for her car keys.

“Lookin’ for these, bub?” Logan’s voice spoke after a few minutes of silence. She wanted to ignore him, but once she heard her keys jingle, her head snapped towards him.

“Bro, you had it the whole time!?” Y/n wanted to yell at the man, but he was Wade’s guest. Y/n only stayed here at times when it got too late for her to drive home. He’s somehow friends with her elders and he needed a “full-time babysitter for his dog” that he had just picked up and left with.

Her parents and grandparents insisted she didn’t help Deadpool and Dogpool. They were all big fans, but y/n wasn’t planning on working for him.

Wade had something behind what he was doing after y/n served him his food at bingo night. She was young but not too young, pretty, went to college, and was hard to deal with. Right up Logan’s alley, but did Wade tell him his secret evil plan? No.

“Yeah, because you’re lying,” Logan put the keys back in his pocket after she came over to him to take back what was hers. “What? Bro, give me my keys,” y/n was annoyed.

“You are going on a date, ain’t ya?” He asked. She could do all the washing she wanted, but he could still smell her. “No, for the love of god. Can you guys stop asking me that shit? It’s annoying!”

“Last time I checked, it only takes you ten minutes to shower, not thirty,” y/n was surprised he paid attention to her shower times. She’s only been in and out of Wade’s shared apartment for a couple of months.

“Your point is?” She asked, knowing he wasn’t dumb, but she hoped he’d give up. “I don’t know, you tell me,” he got up, now towering over her. Her neck ached from the sudden new angle she had to look at him.

“I can smell you, you know,” Logan admitted. “What do you mean?” She genuinely asked. “I can smell you leaking. It’s hard to miss when you smell like that every time you leave to meet up with your friends,”

She wanted to call out his perverted activities but had nothing to say. He was old, but she wasn’t a minor, so what could she say to make him feel uncomfortable for invading her privacy.

“How good is he? Seems like he fucks good if you’re soaked right before you leave,” Logan had y/n cornered on the wall. She didn’t know she was backing up that much until she had nowhere else to go.

“How about you let me meet him. Lemme watch how he fucks you so I can show you better,” his hot breath blew on her face. He was so close and intimidating. Where did all of this come from?

“Sometimes I can smell him on you. I hate it so much, you know why, bub?” Logan asked as his finger cupped her chin. Y/n softly shook her head. “Because I can do better,”

Before she knew it, his lips were all over her, barely letting her process before his tongue slipped into her mouth.

Usually, she found that nasty, hating the sloppy kisses, but this time — Fuck, it felt so nice.

Y/n kissed back, whines escaping her mouth as she now felt needy. She was already turned on, knowing she was going to meet her boy toy tonight, but Logan seemed better. He was always the better choice.

“Greedy slut,” the man spat, sounding angry, but she knew that’s how they talked when they were turned on. She could feel his hard on through his jeans. He was grinding up and down her body like a pole.

“Always leavin’ to fuck another man, like I’m not here, baby. I don’t like that disrespect,” Logan pulled the girl off of the wall and now carried her to his room that they sometimes shared.

Wade’s apartment is a two-bedroom, so if she slept over, she’d sleep on Logan’s bed, and he’d sleep on the small couch in the room.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t sleep better when she was right across from him. He’d also be lying if he said he would switch the sheets because he loved her smell.

He never did anything like this back where he was, but something after that fight made him switch. He was turning into a small pervert for a young lady in who’s barely the legal drinking age.

“Smellin’ like candy,” Logan sniffed, loving the new lotion she had bought a few days ago. “Gonna go through all that work when I take you on a date?” He asked as he slowly took the girl's clothes off. “Maybe,” she shyly said, surprised he wasn’t thinking about this as a one-night stand.

“Doesn’t matter, bub — Ima still eat that pussy till you cry,” he said as he spread the girl's legs. She felt so smooth. She was ready for him, not that dickhead she was getting ready to meet.

Logan slowly slicked up the girl's slit, taking in how close he is to her smell. All the days of smelling her getting ready for another man, just for her to get pulled back for him.

“Bet this cunts sweet,” the man said before diving in for a few seconds. Her mom got stuck in her throat. That was amazing, and he had more.

“Sure fuckin’ is,” Logan quickly went back in, arms wrapping around and thighs to pull her into his face. He wanted to suffocate in between her thighs.

[minart-was-taken]

The wild references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail

Hello, in this post I'm going to go over the various references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail (Also touching a little on HI3) and explaining them the best I can so that non-finns can understand how hilariously delightful they are.

_

Starting with a funny one: Welt Yang.

The man is canonically 1/2 finnish, 1/4th chinese and 1/4th german according to sources I dont understand.

The way this is represented in Honkai Star Rail comes in one intentional form and one that may be an accident but I love it anyway:

1.

Welt's given name is Joachim Nokianvirtanen, a name that is utterly hilarious to a finn like me. Why? Well Nokianvirtanen is not a surname anyone here would ever have. Virtanen is a real surname, but for some reason Mihoyo decided slap Nokia in the front of it??

The name translates to "Nokia's rapids." Which adds to the funniness because yes Nokia is an actual place in Finland and not just the brand, but it is also very much the brand.

(Also Joachim is not a finnish name even if many finns are christian.)

This is the equivalant of naming an american character Jesus McDonaldslake.

2.

Welt's hair colour! A lot of people imagine blond and blue eyes when imagining a finn, but that's not actually accurate to the statistics. The most common hair colour here is in fact "Maantien harmaa." Translating to country road grey. Sometimes they leave out the word grey or replace it with blond. The colour is known as dirty blond or pale brown in english speaking countries 👍 This is less funny and just a cute detail.

_

Secondly we'll be going over Sampo Koski, a man many know to have a very finnish name.

BUT FIRST Fun backround info: I didn't know Sampo was in this game when I first started playing, so when he showed up and suddenly dropped finnish words at me I was utterly jumpscared.

Finland is very rarely referenced in media outside of our country, so most of us are NOT used to hearing anything about our home in media.

Furthermore there's actually a meme about this very thing that everyone in the country knows: Torilla Tavataan. This translates to "Lets meet at the marketplace" which is referring to the idea that when something massively cool happens we should gather together and celebrate.

The finns REALLY want to be acknowledged by the wider world lol

Anyway back to Sampo. His name is actually something I could totally see a real finn having, although his first name is a little out there.

Sampo is an item from finnish* mythology that was forged by a super capable smith with the help of his whole village. The item is golden with multiple spouts that produce valuable things like flour, gold and I believe... salt? You can find more about the item online.

Koski meanwhile means a river rapid. Uhm, lotsa water themed names here, huh!

Nothing that funny going on with his references to be honest. I can even say the voice actor did an amazing job pronouncing his name correctly.

_

Yunli's companion quest!

This is the newest batch of references I've ran into, but if I or anyone else finds more I'll be updating this list :]

In Yunli's companion quest we meet... Paavo. His name is Paavo--

This NPC introduces himself as a traveler from far away who's come to deliver a sword from his homeland back to the Xianzhou where it was originally forged. Here's why he made me giggle uncontrollably every moment he was on screen.

1.

Paavo is considered kind of a joke name, very comparable to naming someone Bob in america. The way NPC's referred to him sounded like "Mr. Bob" to me. It was so funny

2.

He is from the PLANET KALEVALA?? SAFlJ LJ ???

Kalevala is the national epic of Finland* and tells stories such as the one of Sampo's creation. The title does refer to setting of the story, but it is still weird to hear it as a name of a planet lol.

3.

Our food is really repetitive u right Mr. Paavo

4.

Paavo explains the sword he has come to deliver is called Miekka Kivessä. This is the finnish translations of "The sword in the stone." he proceeds to then explain the legend of the sword in the stone, which. It's not a finnish legend. We've never had a king, yet alone chosen them with a sword-- Not even in myths. Kalevala's highest ranking guy in the mortal realm is Väinämöinen who's an old wise man.

Also he says Miekka Kivessä wrong but that's to be expected, very funny, and also I admire the effort to at least try and make it sound natural.

5.

Finally, he later reveals his last name-- Which, why are we refering to him as Mr. Paavo if he has a last name...? Oh well! Mr. Paavo's last name is Kalastaja, which translates to Fisher. This is not a real last name in Finland. The english equivalent of this man's goddang name would be something like Mr. Bob Employee.

_

Since you've made it this far I assume you won't mind me rambling a bit more. I'm personally psyched to see Finland mentioned in non-finnish media and love the wonky but genuine attempts to include us!

I think considering how many weebs there are in Finland who've come up with illogical "Asian names" to sound cool online, it's only fair we got the same treatment back :P I hope they'll keep delivering and I'd love to visit planet Kalevala one day.

_

*It's worth noting Finland is a colonizer of the Sami people, and a lot of their culture has been annexed without any care or respect towards them.

Finland was also under colonialism itself for hundreds of years, and our myths have been largely lost to time with only some information left. It's super difficult to tell what is finnish mythology and whats the Sami people's mythology.

That's a fact that's deeply important to remember when discussing things like this, and I hope that the people reading this consider looking into how to help the indigenous people of the nordic region. Thank you.

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙biscuits | CS55˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: carlos sainz x baker!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, new relationship

warnings: nothing rly, jus lots of fun interactions with drivers & some fluff w carlos tehe

summary: in which your baked goods are a hit with the grid (and so is your blossoming relationship)

a/n: hiii i loveee making fics where y/n is bffs with the whole grid lolz & by whole grid it's like 4 other drivers coz i dnt have the time & space to be writing in a thousand diff relationship dynamics nd these ppl r the ones i feel most comfy writing !

request!!!: For your inspiration maybe smau with Carlos and baker reader who gets along with everyone and bakes for everyone . And maybe make it funny like the "meme" you made with Lando *(HERE for reference)*

fc: various brunette girls from pinterest

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 411,593 others

yourusername happy new year 🎇🫶

tagged: carlossainz55

view all 4,096 comments

user1 happy new year y/n!!!

user2 omgg her first new year with carlos?? 🤭

user3 hiii y/n :)

yourusername hi❤️

user3 OMG

carlossainz55 pretty girl

yourusername 🫶

user4 MY BABIES

user5 i love them

charles_leclerc it's 10pm on january 2nd

landonorris leave her alone charles she was hungover

charles_leclerc for 2 days?

yourusername dont shame me. we all saw you on carlos' birthday

charles_leclerc 🤐

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 623,196 others

carlossainz55 a winter break update

tagged: yourusername

view all 10,821 comments

user6 THE SELFIE

user7 i luv her

landonorris ?? those biscuits better be for me

carlossainz55 no go away

yourusername not these ones landie lou :p

landonorris boooooo

user8 not landie lou

user9 y/n is so pretty

yourusername why post that pic of us, u made me look crazy

carlossainz55 you did that all on your own my love

charles_leclerc lol 😂

yourusername you want biscuits or not charles leloser

charles_leclerc im sorry y/n

user10 the nicknames😭

user11 lol the grid is so whipped for y/n

twitter ->

instagram ->

carlossainz55 posted a story

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, and 23,555 others

landonorris MY BISCUITS??

charles_leclerc FOR ME!??

danielricciardo aw we miss y/n

carlossainz55 she said she's rustling up something delicious for you & heidi 💘

danielricciardo omg feel so blessed rn

user13 😮 the poison biscuits?!?!??

user14 the heartssss she's too cute

liked by carlossainz55

danielricciardo posted a story

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername, and 55,827 others

sry i made a typo it's meant to say FROM our angel lolz

yourusername ANYTHING FOR MY FAV AUSSIEEE

danielricciardo we luv u

landonorris daniel she hates me

danielricciardo no ur just a beg

landonorris SHUT UP

user15 this is soooo cute

user16 BEST WAG FAV WAG

user17 in love w her

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 567,892 others

yourusername my vacay got gatecrashed by ferrari's worst driver 😢

view all 12,011 comments

charles_leclerc why are you always so mean to me y/n

yourusername im so sowwy charlie. will u ever forgive me??!!

charles_leclerc maybe. for some biscuits

yourusername ok deal i'll make u some biscuits

landonorris this is NOT fair

charles_leclerc suck it up little lando

user18 y/n in her biscuit era

user19 fr & the flowers are soo cute

carlossainz55 you literally love when he hangs out with us

yourusername 🤫 .

charles_leclerc ???

user20 LOL

oscarpiastri hi y/n

yourusername not you too

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 887,133 others

charles_leclerc winter break + biscuits 🍒

view all 9,819 comments

carlossainz55 lando is going to be so triggered

yourusername i told him to keep it HUSH.

landonorris WHAT IS THIS

landonorris ARE THOSE Y/N BISCUITS

charles_leclerc nooo hahahhh

landonorris im done with you charles lestinks

yourusername oh it's serious

landonorris YES IT'S SERIOUS

user21 someone make that boy some biscuits

user22 we all gonna ignore charles hands in that pic 👀

user23 oh no dw. we're looking

oscarpiastri justice for lando norris

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, danielricciardo, carlossainz55

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, estebanocon, and 822,643 others

carlossainz55 time flies

view all 16,193 comments

yourusername i love u so much cant wait to watch u this race season 🌶️

carlossainz55 my biggest supporter ❤️ i love you

user24 favs omg

landonorris aww is that you guys baking biscuits for me together?? 😊

carlossainz55 sure lando!

yourusername 🤨🤨

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

scuderiaferrari can't wait to have our favourite girl back in the paddock!

carlossainz55 you & me both

yourusername ❤️

user25 ferrari admin is just like us

user26 the pic of them baking together is too cute

user27 AND y/n in the ferrari jacket😭😭

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, georgerussell63, and 421,056 others

yourusername & we're back 🐎

view all 6,338 comments

user29 the nailssss

user30 she's so hot

alexandrasaintmleux so happy to be back to seeing u almost every weekend🙏

yourusername ME TOOO squealing & running round

charles_leclerc y/n you cant keep her for too long

yourusername i do what i want. sorry

alexandrasaintmleux 🤭🤭🤭

carlossainz55 my lucky charm 🍀

yourusername blushing omg. i love u

carlossainz55 and i love you

scuderiaferrari lucky us!! everyone wants what we have

yourusername oh stop it you

user31 now kiss

user32 no wag will ever top y/n

user33 most supportive wag

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 83,415 others

charles_leclerc 😍

user34 omg sooo cute

user35 she's gorgeous

francisca.cgomes omggg love

yourusername where are u kika we want u with us

francisca.gomes omg tehe love you i'll come see you asap

user36 FERRARI WAGS BFFS

landonorris posted a story

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, and 201,738 others

carlossainz55 safe flight ✈️

charles_leclerc are you kidnapping her

landonorris no we're not all as crazy as you!

charles_leclerc behave 👎

user37 awwwww taking flights together they're besties

user38 she's just a girl fr

user39 stealing our girl away to smelly england?

yourusername posted a story

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes, and 67,082 others

landonorris you should be making biscuits for me

yourusername i might if you stop being so desperate

landonorris 🤨

carlossainz55 cant wait to reunite with you this evening 💘

yourusername me too i miss you tons!

user40 we love u y/n

user41 well deserved :))

pierregasly kika said where's her invite

yourusername we're not even in the same country unfortunately 😢 she knows i wish she was here to hang out

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, and 817,019 others

yourusername short stint in london 🇬🇧

view all 7,952 comments

lewishamilton the most beautiful couple

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55

oscarpiastri i love my parents

yourusername strange boy

carlossainz55 dont talk to our son like that y/n

oscarpiastri dad 🥹

yourusername ...my bad

user43 LOLLLL not y/n having no choice but to parent the rookies 🥹

user44 logan too i bet

charles_leclerc monaco next?

carlossainz55 we are literally always there??

charles_leclerc yeah well i miss you guys ok..

yourusername AWWW CHARLIEEE

user45 THE PAPER RINGS WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

landonorris aww look at you two

yourusername 😘 got some biscuits in the oven for you

landonorris NO WAY

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 401,723 others

carlossainz55 my girl is beautiful AND generous

THE END ❤️

[cyberels]

thinking about modern loser!ellie as ur gf :3c

modern!abby version here!!!

requests are open btw please i’ll write for ellie or abby

18+ sfw & nsfw

-> sometimes she’ll send u random ass pictures she finds funny

-> does the thing where she pretends to swerve off the road while she drives cuz it makes you laugh

-> she SPAMS you with tiktoks

-> every time there’s video of an old guy on her fyp that has 2 likes she’ll send it to u and be like “thought this was joel”

-> the guy looks nothing like joel

-> pretends to have a fear of thunder so she can use every thunderstorm as an excuse to cuddle you

-> “babe i’m so scaredddddd please😣😣😣 im shaking”

-> CANNNOT keep secrets from u

-> she’ll plan surprise dates and when you ask where the two of u are going she’s like “…nowhere…”

-> she’ll have to be silent the entire drive because if she speaks she will immediately reveal entire date

-> she HATES cringey pet names

so obviously you call her them all the time

-> she’s in line to buy smth and she’ll ask u for her wallet and u’ll hand it to her and say some shit like “here u go baby snuggle bear🥰”

-> the look she gives you LMFOAODKSLDKDDK

‘😦’

-> literally looks like u just killed her first born

-> does that “i hardly know her!” joke all the time

-> if no one laughs at her jokes she’ll tap on her hand and be like “uh, is this thing on?”

-> she thinks this is peak comedy

-> she’ll find silly things throughout her day that remind her of u

-> she takes pics everytime she sees a heart shaped object and sends it to u

-> absolutely has to get u a little treat or gift when she goes out, candy, flowers, etc. anything u might like she WILL buy

nsfw ‼️ 18+

-> SENDS U STUPID ASS REACTION MEMES AFTER U SEND NUDES

-> omg u and her buy stuff off adam & eve sometimes so she signed up for texts

-> and every time she gets a text she’ll send u a screenshot like “great news babe the butt blaster is 40% off!”

-> when y’all first starting having sex she’d be so awkward 😭😭😭😭 she couldn’t take herself seriously

-> eventually warmed up and started getting more confident

-> ellie williams is a sub i’ll die on this hill

-> but she’ll def try almost anything at least once to see if she likes it

ok that’s all for now love u all

masterlist

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Last night I dreamt that I time-traveled to the year 2389 and befriended a girl there. I asked her some questions. Here's what I remember.

Q: Will there be any big wars in the early 21st century? A: Yes. You're not very far from it. It'll be short, though.

Q: I thought there would be flying cars, hoverboards, holoscreens, stuff like that. Why isn't the technology much different from my time? A: ¯\_(:/)_/¯

Q: What happened to the Mars colonization project? A: Some people thought to be from Mars walked up with a note saying "Thank you" and nothing else. The passive-aggressiveness scared everyone away.

Q: Do you have memes? A: (She showed me some videos on YouTube. One of them was Other Friends from Steven Universe mashed up with a pop song I did not recognize. They were pretty funny. I noticed that one of them were uploaded in 2030.)

Q: What happened to the moon? Shouldn't it be higher up in the sky? A: It got destroyed so we made a new one. It comes down for maintenance.