#i have nothing but free time rn
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when you're too broke for merch so you make your own 😔
#reblog with who you want to see next#i have nothing but free time rn#honkai star rail#hsr topaz#hsr aventurine#dr ratio
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On Gifmaking:
So season 2's coming soon, and I wanna reflect on making gifs ever since I came back to Tumblr. I can't believe it's been 2 years of making gifs for this show!!!!! Look at how large my folder is lmao
And those are JUST gifs lol
Anyways, over time, my style has changed, especially how I color edit Arcane gifs. I kind of strayed away from a stylized filter color into just something that looks a lot more "natural" and works with the original scene.
Initially, I thought I'd save time, but I ended up not using my old arcane preset PSDs and resulted to coloring almost every scene manually. So in the end, it takes even longer to make them HAHAHA. It takes around an hour and a half for me to make a 10 gif set, basically. It also helps that I have a photography background, so coloring/editing is a lot simpler for me.
Here's a lil before and after of a dark scene (hiiiii viiiiiii <3)
Arcane is a REALLY dark show, but it goes for most of TV shows. Many of them are darker and harder to bring up the lights to make stuff look nice as gifs. Some people don't like to color their gifs, and that's okay. I personally just like color edited gifs more.
I've started learning how to upscale scenes myself, so that I have a better resolution and leeway to make things look "HD" more.
If you're wondering why my stuff look so "crisp", it's a combination of the scene's lighting, my sharpening settings on Photoshop and knowing how to upscale everything into 4k resolution. Of course, doing this needs an extremely beefy pc, which I am very lucky to own one.
Here's another before and after of a nicely lit scene. These are much, MUCH easier to do than all the darkly lit scenes because of shadows and lighting (caitlyn kiramman truly the rizzler <3)
I've been very lucky to be able to essentially take a nice, long break for like a month doing nothing after being so damn busy for the last year and a half, so it's nice that I was able to make a ton of gifs and be chronically online for a short while LMAO.
It's been so fun! But it's time to go back to reality lmao. I closed reqs for a bit because I was just so swamped with them the last few days, and I wanted to gif scenes that I like this time. I've done like 2 weeks worth of gifs. And you will see Vi a lot bc she's on my mind a lot heehee 🥰what can I say, she's such a babe <3
Here's a lil sneak peek, just look at herrrrrrr 🥰🥰🥰 and yeah, 4k upscaled resolution really helps making these tight crops, it's why i never went back to 1080p lol. It's how I’m able to make zoomed in gifs look decent (like the kirammountains gifset lol)
Thank you so much for all the support, likes, reblogs, and the nice tags you guys give. Yes, I can see and read all of them (both the nice and nasty ones lmao). If you have nothing good to say about the characters or my editing style, or anything related to the edit, please I beg you, just write a separate text post about it <3 If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it in my edits.
Lastly, thank you to the people who share my stuff outside the site and credit the blog and link them back here. I see you and appreciate you <3 You guys don't know how much I appreciate shoutouts and link backs, because people stealing my gifs is something that I've dealt with after making them for like a decade.
Tumblr is sadly not what it used to be in the 2013-2015 era. There’s definitely less activity as time goes by, so I appreciate all the people who credit and link back to this sideblog. Unfortunately, there’s more people who just repost them and it gets wayyy much more traction in other soc med sites. Yeah, ofc I get a lil jealous, but eh what can you do 😞 can’t really stop em.
I also don’t like putting watermarks because it personally looks tacky to me, but I understand why other people do it.
Anyways, if you reached at the end of this lil rambling of mine, thank you! I sadly might be busy during November because that's usually busy season, but I'll try to make time for making gifs of Season 2! Thank you and enjoy your stay on this lil sideblog :)
#personal tag#arcane#long post#nothing i just have free time rn and i wanna spend time on it rambling and yes im tagging the public tag lol#goodbye leave hello real life again
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i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago
#like if buck had a kid and he said to eddie “theres no one in this world i trust with my kid more than you” eddie wouldve given him head#if buck had written him into his will and said “because eddie (cuz im sorry but buck loves eddies name too much to not use it)#you act like youre expendable but youre wrong“ eddie wouldve been like on his knees begging for buck to move in already#or if eddie did something reckless and after told buck he had to do it and buck just looked at him fondly and said “i know you did”#eddie wouldve dragged his ass to the nearest jewelry store to get them matching rings#or if someone off handedly mentioned how long he was dead/underground/uhhh bleeding out from his gunshot wound#and buck corrected them and said “um no actually it was 3 minutes and 17 before we got to the hospital” eddie wouldve done unspeakable#things to him in the bathroom of that underground poker club#or if eddie came out to buck and buck gave him a similar supportive little talk and said “this doesnt change a thing between us”#eddie wouldve been like “uh no actually it does get in the fucking car rn” and driven them to the courthouse so they could get married#basically#eddie says the gayest shit to buck all the time but buck just hears it as Normal Bro Things because hes never had a normal friend before so#he had nothing to really compare it to#but if buck were to say this kinda gay shit to eddie#eddie would immediately be like oh youre in love with me because eddie is a romantic and knows declarations of love when he hears them#however#buck communicates his feelings with flirting but eddie is fucking stupid and has no game and no rizz and doesnt realize hes flirting#eddie communicates his feelings with grand declarations of love but buck is fucking stupid and doesnt realize people actually care about hi#they need to flip communication styles and then theyll realize#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#get him out of there#let eddie free so he can finally have game#omg no or if eddie had done something that kinda pissed buck off and buck just looked at him after eddie apologized and said “ofc i forgive#you“ well there wouldve been something freaky going on in the firehouse closets that halloween
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,
or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs
#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing#like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally#it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday#now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand#but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's#the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs#so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians#but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them#i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun#n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now#everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it#ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing#like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn#& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing#idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase#i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro#sugar papi ted#hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it#but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing#i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake#but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same#like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose#i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like#im unwell when it comes to that#idk is anyone else like this#anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time#of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk#i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright
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This weekend I’m going out of state for 6 weeks which means no art for about a month and so instead we will have to resort to……….writing
#I hope the lack of art doesn’t kill me…#like I have a few ideas rn but none of them are sparking joy and idk if I’ll get them done in time#writing on the other hand…I am familiar with that medium…as evident from my former 2 side blogs…#feel free to drop any prompts. I can’t promise I’ll do em but I might since I’ll have nothing better to do most days lmao
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I should've been sleeping before my flight but instead I drew Seb as Antinous :D
Reference + Commentary:
SEB IS MY MODERN DAY ANTINOUS, OKAY!? I WOULD DEIFY HIM IF I COULD!!!
But seriously I spent like an hour obsessing over statues of Antinous just thinking; "holy fuck, he reminds me so much of Seb???"
Big, pretty eyes? Check. Magnificent curls? Check. Beautiful side profile? Check. Etc etc.
I read this description of a statue and was instantly struck with "this is so Seb.":
"The body and face of this sculpture are in idealized youth, with plump cheeks and round face, and his hair is usually unkempt. Antinous's hair has also been described as artificial looking, even wig-like, because of how similar the placement of his hair is across statues. His youthful appearance, large eyes, pouting lips, and layered locks of hair over his forehead are some of the iconography that can be used to identify him"(x)
Also which AU of mine is this hmmm. It can be either the Renaissance Muse AU(x) or the random Roman Caesar Fernando AU(x) I drew it with the latter in mind(bcs its basis is literally just Hadrian and Antinous), but it's fun to imagine the Martian version as well!! Maybe an AU of an AU, where Mark is Pygmalion, and Seb is Galatea 🤭🤭
#I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY BRAIN#cant draw all week when i have limitless free time#and then when i should really be sleeping: boom suddenly can draw something again#i am so tired rn its horrible. my flight got delayed so ill try and get a bit of sleep but yeah....#HAPPY WITH THIS THOUGH#tried to color it regularly and i didnt like it so then i made it more marbley ykow#but now i cant stop thinking of seb as antinous#THERES SO MANY GOOD STATUES AND BUSTS AND THEYRE BOTH SO PRETTY AAAAHHHH#this is just the boy king statue all over again okay.....(nothing can be as good as that tho hahaha)#well yes anyways antinous = seb. thats my new historical thesis#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#sv5#renaissance muse au
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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I've been painting my walls for the past 6? hours ? and i think the smell has been burned in my brain 😷
#NOT having a great time tbh but at least i am DONE#there's one more that needs to be painted but it's very small and only like half of it anyways#Big Wall is done and looks pretty ✌️ my arms are hurted#also i forgot to eat lmao i'm lowkey starving#mushroom pasta and anime time save me. save me mushroom pasta and anime time#silly afterthought but it's actually kinda nice to share these random stuff cus i feel like i actually did something#hacking my dopamine system or whatever#also i miss Vessel 🥺. which really has absolutely nothing to do with anything but that's just how i feel rn#thinking about the character.... free and fun and very cool 👍#i bet that Long Mf doesn't need the extra paint roll stick thingy. he can just. reach the wall. bastard. 🥺#anyways. my nails have been looking super gross for days and i can't paint them because they'll just get ruined anyways#so my hands are just. raw. plain. boring. not cool bro#darya talks to herself
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Started writing chapter 10 🕺🏻
#gonna try and get it done by the weekend#I’m only like 1k words into it right now#but I’m also very tired and have other priorities rn so idk nothing is set in stone#I have a wee bit more free time than I thought though so that’s nice#but that’s where it’s at anyway 🤸🏻♂️#my writing
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I keep clenching my jaw for literally no reason and it's driving me crazy 🥲
#like what do i have to be stressed about rn#I'm literally doing nothing#have no real commitments#all the free time#why is my body acting like it's stressed#ugh
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been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible
#normally everything feels so short#my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur#but ive been ok#i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life#feel safe w them#anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble#listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world#just bbzbzbzbzbbzz#of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different#and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal#i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win#i have never and Will never act on it#if i ignore it they cant b real#also i do know it's illogical whihc helps#honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was#all a rouse u want me dead u hate me#and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation#theyre just living their life#it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to#even have to see#and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me#so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly#painful emotions all around there is no joy#(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)
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I actually feel so sick to my stomach trying to decide between this Free People job and the one I currently have why does the current one have to pay so fucking well and Free People have to pay so fucking bad
#none of this is that deep they’re both temporary seasonal jobs as far as I’m concerned#but I’m so bored at the current job because I just have nothing in common w anyone who works there#the work days are very long and I’m a full time employee#this is my last holiday season in nyc and it’s kind of killing me a little that I’m spending it all day every day in this store#and again they pay SO WELL it’s sick I can do whatever I want within reason and not worry about what I’m spending#but I’m just not ENJOYING my life rn and I’m kinda not used to that#there’s so much this time of year in terms of Life Happening#and I’m destined to miss that by nature of this being full time and the long days#meanwhile Free People is a $7/ hour difference#($7/hour less I mean)#and also the diff between penny pinching for a while and not caring#but also I would have free time#and also it’s a great vibe#not that there’s anything even WRONG with the vibe at the current job it’s just#it’s just not doing anything FOR me and when I’ve got no free time that’s not excellent#and yeah it’s apparently very easy to get coverage if something comes up and I don’t wanna go in (friends hanging out and don’t wanna miss-#it etc)#and conversely also very easy to pick up hours if I want to work more#less set in stone you know#I’ll have TIME to figure my Etsy back out if I want I’ll have TIME to figure out wtf I’m doing with myself etc etc etc#but yeah between now and Christmas it’s literally like a $2000 difference so idk idk idk idk idk idk idk#oh also this is stupid but the place I currently work is so insanely busy and such an insanely small space#I am mildly concerned about Covid and my long COVID getting even WORSE etc. feels paranoid and dumb I guess but like idk#I had surgery on my fucking nose to fix long Covid and it’s still not fixed so it’s something I worry about#god if my fucking Etsy still existed it’d be a no brainer#I applied for these jobs to have something fun to do in my spare time#and now I can’t do the fun job I actually wanted#UGH UGH UGH
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// WOO polls are done and according to them we'll have the AU in America, and since the second most votes in the other poll went to the literary style we'll have it in that, but i mean... with how many people picked neutral idk it almost feels like either are a tiny bit of a shakey choice to me so any questions thoughts concerns abt it??? ill be here in any case to hear it 😭
i'm assuming everyone needs a HOT second to get their shit together and get accounts made and whatever... so this will be the main sort of account for that RP: @gilded-new-york , expect a bit longer then a week-ish before anything starts up in any case, just so everyone has time 👍
(also tiny reminder y'all have today and tomorrow for your characters to sign up for the matchmaking thing k bye)
#AND HERE'S TO ONE WEEK OF ME BASICALLY POSTING NOTHING BUT OOC 🥂 IM SORRY EVERYONE#IM FIXING THAT RN BECAUSE I FINALLY HAVE FREE TIME WOOOO#ask#ooc:
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🗒
#blessings roll call!#feel free to hop in the tags or replies <3#started my new job this week-- working as a PT tech at a rehab clinic#that training is going well and it's such a blessing to not have to be actively searching for a job during the semester#since I've got a very full class schedule trying to find time to apply and interview would be a nightmare rn#so grateful that got done literally right before the semester picked up#and now I can focus on learning the job. also praise that all my coworkers are kind and patient.#school is going better than expected. there's a lot to do but so far I'm doing really well in all my classes#and singing in choir has been such a joy!#we have so many gorgeous pieces including a Sara Teasdale poem arranged for chorale#it sounds heavenly! the solo is lovely and the alto part is a lot of sustained notes that come together with the other parts to make this#insane almost organ-like sound#got to chat with my bestie today at my other job which was good#homemade soup!#food in general actually. The first week or two of the semester I was subsisting on nothing or junk food#and got to the point where I was starting to feel like crap and went grocery shopping#I've been bringing meals to college and work the last 2 weeks and it's made such a difference!#and I missed eating vegetables and actually getting protein so now I have nutrient-dense meals and it's great#actually getting close to enough sleep and it's been great#talked to my grandparents about visiting over Christmas break and they're down so I might be going to see them soon!#hanging out with my sister a bit more now that we drive to school together#despite being super busy it's been a good month. ups and downs but overall the best September I've had in a while#prayer request-- the one thing I haven't been consistent with is my quiet times.#definitely struggling in that area right now. please pray I can spend time in worship and prayer and study even when I don't feel like it <#college chronicles#journal
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The love/hate relationship with my coworkers is so real lmao like why are they like this
#not snz#I'm just having fun#tho there has been sneezing bc there's so much fucking dust everywhere#I've been at the station for a hot minute#bc most of our guys are still out on fires#so there's just like nobody here#and i like money so I'm vibing with getting paid for being here extra days#but there's just a few of us here rn and we have like nothing to do bc we're hardly getting assignments#so we're just fucking around#and i have like the first responder version of cards against humanity#so we're playing that to kill the time and it's great lmao#but also some of them were asking me random questions#bc apparently the answers and explanations you give say somrthing about you idk#it was some bullshit but we were having fun with it#but the way they were laughing at every single answer i gave like hello#you fucking asked lmao#the nerve tho when they asked for an animal i like and three reasons why#and then said that that's how people view me and scream laughed bc 'it's accurate' like bro fuck off lmao#but i am having a good time like i adore these guys#they drive me crazy but that's my second family right there#plus with all the free time we get I've been trying different recipes and so far no complaints lmao#made a pasta dish tonight that was a big hit bc literally everything was from scratch incuding the noodles#like that's how much time we have lmao#anyway tonight is my last night at the station then i can go home which is a relief#we've all been sleeping on the floor and couches lmao#there are bunkhouses but the women's quarters are unusable so we're all staying in the rec building instead#i told them it was fine and they could stay in the bunkhouse but they were appalled by the suggestion lmao#so we're all vibing rn watching tv and I've literally never felt like I've belonged somewhere more so I'm thriving#anyway I'll probably delete this later I'm just happy rn lmao
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