#I hope the lack of art doesn’t kill me…

[slashthrashandcrash]

This weekend I’m going out of state for 6 weeks which means no art for about a month and so instead we will have to resort to……….writing

[charmedreincarnation]

Hi Maya I was one of your first anons back in March and I manifested my dream life. i just wanted to share some things that helped me, and hope we can all pass some knowledge so we all get our desires life. I did, you did, and everyone reading this can and will so let’s all try to help out by sharing a little of our journey. I’ll never create a blog because tumblr is a mess, so I’ll just share them here bc I trust you as a creator and I hope you agree with what I’m saying. Even if you don’t these are my assumptions and my truth

il get into my methods in one second but users of tumblr there are only 4 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LAW (Inspired heavily by you bc I used your blog religiously) I will say you’re kind of too nice and I wish I had someone to yell at me like this, and tell me to stop being a victim!!! So if it sounds aggressive it’s because it is in the best loving way possible.OKAY SO.

★you need to understand that you want to fulfill yourself in imagination because you don’t care about the desires only how you feel about it. Bare with me it sounds stupid I know. But I don’t care about men or how they feel about me. I just want to feel worshiped and love, and I could fulfill that in my imagination. I don’t care about money??? It’s fucking paper !!! I just want to feel secure and financially free and want the feeling of buying my favorite clothes without looking at the tag. I GOT THE SAME FEELING FROM PINTREST EVEN WHEN I WAS POOR GODDAMNIT. I didn’t care about getting all As in school when I’ve always believed school is not a representation of intelligence. I wanted to feel recognized adored and respected which I had to feel for myself in my mind before it projected. I don’t care about looking skinny, I just wanted to feel snatched, I wanted to be envied, and feel pretty. And in my mind everyone wanted to be me even when I was ugly and fat. BUT I DIDNT FEEL FAT. Even with no change in the 3D I had my desires. This applies to all your desires, and you really need to understand that.

★you can affirm,visualize, understand states, understand non dualism, use the Bible or Torah m, wall twerk and say “I AM THAT BITXH,” use sats YADADAA . No one cares it doesn’t matter. you don’t have to feel anything or, even believe in wth you’re doing. As long as you think that having it in imagination means it’s yours that’s all that matter. I’ve read so many teachers, Neville, Abraham, Abdullah, Edward art, paid coaches, and they all do different things but say the same thing. FAITH IS KEY. That’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone you otherwise or tell you what you have to do. All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.

★YOU ARE GOD. You know what a god is, you know how a god works, you know god can do anything with a snap of a finger, kill anyone with a thought, look anyway it wants, have anything everything and create whatever. You are an omnipotent loving creator so create and give yourself everything.

★you can’t over consume, you can think from lack of whatever, and doubt can’t hinder you unless you think it does. Having a desire does not mean you’re lacking or else having the wanting for it would mean that too no? When creators say that I want to slam my head against the wall. Even now I have all my desires and I still think about them constantly. Thinking of new clothes to buy with MY WEALTH, I think of new food to eat that won’t even affect my SNATCHED BODY, i find new places to try and explore bc MY SOCIAL CIRCLE IS HUGE AND IM SO LOVED, I think of new makeup up to try to enhance my GORGEOUS PRINCESS FACE. I think of it in the same way from when I didn’t have my desired (I always had them in imagination but you know what I mean.) so there is no thinking from lack, or else you’re always lacking it lmfao the fuck. Anyways I doubted my abilities up until I manifested my dream life. I was okay with it in imagination and whether it reflected or not it was my escape I was content with. DID YOU SEE THAT. I had doubts up until the very end, and it doesn’t mean shit unless you think it does. Just affirm having doubts and obsessions only speed up your results. That’s really all it is.

Now to my story if anyone cares. I won’t make a blog for reason number 2 and 3 listed above. That’s all you need but if you want more info for curiosity go for it. I know I was curious and that didn’t stop me from getting my dream life. Anyways I have the same story as about everyone else here. My life sucked, I found the law, and it worked! HOORAY!!! But how did I do it???? Easy peasy, in a couple of steps.

☞ I tattooed my four rules above in my mind. When fear and doubt emerged I sunk that shit like the titanic and went with my laws that I created. It’s literally called the law of assumption like come on, stop fighting with yourself when you assume and create reality.

☞I ignored anything that I didn’t agree with. Sometimes I’d get so mad and be like WHAT NO WHY WOULD THAT BLOGGER OR COACH OR ANON or whoever say that?? But am I dumb ??? each of us have our own reality our own bubbles. The fact that it works for them and not for me started to only motivate me more. It doesn’t work bc I assume sooo… sooo why not just assume the opposite and focus on my rules like they did. The law is always in effect and working. Either it’s in your favor or it’s not. It’s up to you

☞I used affirmations bc repetition is the only thing that works for my logical brain. Anything can change with repetition. It’s basic science. So in the morning and night time I would affirm. ONCE. Repetition meant for me doing it everyday and not wanting. The rest of my day was lived in my imaginations. And the affirmation was to remind me in my vulnerable state that I already have my desires. That’s why my affirmation was “I have my desires no matter what, and everything I do brings them to me faster than the speed of light” it was kind of funny and made me chuckle but I accepted it as facts. Look guys…

☞I didn’t repress myself. If I cried or yelled or told myself “FUCK YOU” it wasn’t me tf. It was the devil or something. Be like those Christian fuckers who when their child comes out as gay…it’s the devil within them or whatever. I would talk to myself, yell when doubt emerged and when my thoughts weren’t the ones I wanted. It wasn’t fucking me so get the fuck out I have my desires so who tf are you ??? It will feel weird but you’ll get used to it trust me. If you’re uncomfortable it’s working. Getting rid of bad habits and your comfort in dwelling in bad thoughts is uncomfortable but it’s worth it.

I manifested my dream life back in March. I LITERALLY WOKE WITH MY DREAM LIFE. A complete 180. I won’t talk about my past life bc I completely revised it and I’m the only one who remembers so for the most part it feels like a long nightmare that has past. I’ll just talk about what I changed instead because that’s the stuff we all want to hear. Anyways I’ll just post some of my list here.

♥ my life feels like the song rich kids by freak ocean

♥I’m a pretty spoiled princess who gets everything I want but I’m still kind

♥I revised my entire family from looks to personality to zodiac to religion and etc. i rewrote my story which included my family

♥I have natural admired intelligent

♥my family has a net worth of 500 million dollars, and my entire family stems from old money. (Think aristocrats not slave or colonization money)

♥I can play many instruments and speak many languages

♥ I am 5’2, 100 pounds, I have natural stunning vixen beauty, and the most desires body in the world. I’m the beauty standard and people either want to be me or date me. I am naturally skinny and have no worries about my weight, I have clear skin that only gets clearer with my skincare routine, and I have my desired personality where I’m kind but also don’t put up with any shit from anyone because I know I’m that bitch. I also have great style and embody a princess !

♥my life is a combination of my favorite watpadd stories, Gilmore girls, gossip girl, and mean girls.

♥ too many people pursue me I have too many options

♥I have a perfect school life, social life, family life, friend life, and people always wonder what I did to be “so lucky it’s unfair”

♥my family has multiple mansions in America, monoco,Australia, france, and China.

♥I’m a daddies and mommies money girl

♥I put myself first (I HAD SUFFERED TOO LONG I NEEDED A SOFT LIFE)

♥everyone’s purpose it to make my life easier and make me happier

♥I’m spoiled and privileged in every aspect of my life

♥I’m a master shifter, and manifester

♥I revised my age to 14. I was 18 and graduating but I wanted to redo high school how I had envisioned it all my life

♥I have a “cool mom” people are always jealous how lucky I am

♥I have my main estate in Hollywood hills with my family that’s in a gated, gorgeous, gate kept neighborhood. It is 30,000 sq feet with my dreams decor, dream cars, dream pets, dream house help, dream room with all my stuff saved on Pinterest including decor, furniture, clothes, shoes, makeup and skincare.

♥everything good in my life I have manifested and it’s too much to list. THERES NOT REASON FEAR OR WAIT. Do what you want and assume it still works and it will.

You honestly said it better than I could have. Literally every single one of these points are so valid :)!! I’m glad you think I inspired you love but all I did was allow you recognize your own godly abilities. I’m very proud of you, and have fun girl 🥹❤️

Also. “All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.” This one million times !!!!! Invest your faith into yourself more than anyone else and you’ll see how fast your reality conforms. I also adore your point about the state of lacking bc I never believed in that. If wanting your desires insinuates it’s not yours, we would have no thoughts since that’s where it all originates from. In fact Edward explains it pretty well.

When Edward looks at lack, he sees it as being something that is only brought about by the individual. He believes that your own actions, thoughts, and attitudes will bring about an artificial scarcity of resources. Edward says that this artificial lack of resources is not actually real—it exists only in our minds, as we focus on the things that we don’t have rather than the things that are available to us.

He believes that true lack only exists when someone has no access to resources—whether those resources be financial, physical, mental, or emotional. When someone has access to resources but they squander them or don’t use them to their advantage, it isn’t a lack of resources that is at fault—it is the individual’s personal choices and attitudes that create the feeling of lack. Same way we see attractive people feel ugly though they have women or men chasing them, modeling opportunities, and experience many examples of pretty privilege lol. You’re a hot girl.. you’re just not using it to your advantage, same way you have everything in imagination and access to anything yet… nothing bc of your own perceptions. That’s not lack. Simply inappropriate usage of recourse. A waste for better use of words.

[choslut]

˖ ࣪ ، ◞ せ⌇ THE COLOUR RED. featuring yae miko.

↻ yae miko loves staining her dearest darling with her favourite colour.

tags : shibari, implied dom/sub dynamics, overstimulation, voice kink, slight hand kink // wc. 0.8k

author’s note : ‘m soooo tired… TT i’ve been trying to cook up a new theme in time for kinktober but my head is empppptttyyyyyy… but never too empty to think about shibari with yae miko!!! this is the only wlw work on here but it’s the one i’m most proud of, so i hope you enjoy it as much as i loved writing it <33 as always, notes and reblogs are much appreciated !! and feel free to check out my masterlist for more of my work if you really liked this.

this work is NSFW. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT.

YAE MIKO’s favourite colour is red. it’s a colour she sees every day during her shifts at the narukami shrine, and although some may grow tired of seeing such a vibrant colour every single day, she is one to never tire of it. it represents what she lives and works for, and although purple may seem more fitting due to her affinity with the electro element and its archon, red appeals to her a little more. 

that’s why she’s decided to tie you up in beautiful, winding red ropes, and decorate the smooth skin of your neck with glaring red marks. 

for her, the colour red is much more than just a colour. it’s the colour of her love for you, and as she pulls the crimson rope a tad bit tighter around your chest, she knows that in that exact spot, the red fluid flowing through your veins will come to a stop. 

“does it hurt?” her playful voice turned sultry echoes through the confines of your blurred mind, rendered helpless by the lack of blood flowing to your brain. “make sure to tell me if it hurts, my dear. i don’t want to kill you.”

the position she has you in is nothing short of a work of art. your arms are folded neatly behind your back as you sit on your knees on the futon, staring up at here with nothing but love and lust swirling in your eyes. you nod slowly, and she bares her sharp teeth in a smile, sliding her perfectly manicured hands under your chin and pulling your face up to look at her. 

“this is something i’ve always wanted to try,” she starts, “shibari. i’ve only ever read about it in those erotica novels at the publishing house, but I could never find anyone willing enough to let me experiment with it. i do hope i’ve done it right.”

you suspect she has, given the way the rope rubs against you in all the right places. It rests just shy of your nipples, pulled tight enough so that it doesn’t hurt, but provides just the right amount of pressure to your areolas. the stream of red runs its course under your arms, wrapping around your arms and trailing down your spine until it rests in between your asscheeks, pulling in between your legs and resting against your agitated clit before making its way back between the valley of your breasts. 

it’s beautiful. it’s torture.

it’s downright torturous the way the rope rubs against your clit every time your chest rises and falls with each breath. miko must’ve been crazy to think something like this wouldn’t hurt, because it definitely is, but in all the right ways. “miko…”

“what is it, my flower?” you half expect her to kneel down to your level, but such actions are beyond her prowess, so you settle for craning your neck to look up at her. “are you feeling alright?”

no, you want to scream, but her voice, smooth like butter, slices through your panic like a knife, and suddenly your muscles relax as you give in to the beautiful pain of the ropes straining against your skin. “feels weird, miss…”

ah, yes. you’ve finally let it slip. it didn’t take much to get you to submit, yet here you are now, words tangled like the rope against your flesh as you beg her for even the slightest stimulation. “does it, now?” miko is acting dumb. of course it feels weird, it would for someone experiencing this for the first time. “but i thought i tied the ropes in the right places that make you feel good, my love.”

it does feel good. oh, god, it feels good, so much so that you can’t even muster up a sentence to express it, instead trying (and failing) to rub your thighs together to grasp more of the feeling. 

“ah, ah, ah, my dear,” she chastises, waving one perfectly manicured finger down at you. “the beauty of this…” her finger hooks under the rope tied across your chest, “… is that you barely have to move. relax your muscles. feel it.”

so you listen to her, and you feel it. miko’s fingers trace the knots of the rope carefully, and she watches curiously as your eyes flutter shut and you succumb. it’s such a pretty sight, watching you finally let go, and when she suddenly tugs harshly at the central rope, you lurch forward, body trembling in waves as your orgasm washes over you. 

it’s so much, it’s almost too much, and she only laughs at your quivering form. “humans display such interesting emotions.”

PREVIOUS : FWB ft. a. hayakawa NEXT : BABY MOMMA ft. k. nanami

liked that? check out the WE’RE SO BACK main masterlist.

© choslut 2024 — do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission.

[tuliptic]

What Is My Purpose Here On This Land

This is for all, but especially for those with existential crises. We’ve wondered what we are meant to do, do we have a purpose being on this planet, and many more questions continue to feed our brains. 

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What messages does your weary heart need to hear? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1    -     Pile 2

Pile 3    -     Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1: The Rose

A card to represent you: The Chariot

One funny thing when I was shuffling this deck was that this card came out tumbling. It was like.. Upright, reverse, upright again. I’m taking this as a sign. You like taking the wheel. You’ve been through the ups and downs as you journey ahead, sometimes lacking direction, learning self-discipline throughout the process, learning the importance of strength and will, finding balance, and driving to where you are right now. There’s this determination that you’ve gained from past experience, and you’re still driving ahead. A word of advice is to be aware of your own focus level, and to take a rest when you’re tired. The journey of life ahead is long, and it’s always alright to take a break now and then. For some reason, I also feel some of you may be travelling right now, or intend to travel in the future. Make sure to prepare a proper itinerary and have emergency numbers saved! 

1. What is my role here on earth? - The High Priestess

First word I’m picking up is healing. You’re the person who answers to the cries of help, being the Universe’s hands in providing aid to those who pray for it, to be that gentle beauty without losing your thorns. You’re called to be the healing energy, to be the kindness that people need but may or may not deserve. Not to put a burden on you, but you probably tend to be kind and subconsciously heal or watch over those who need your help, even strangers, and even people who do not deserve those kindness. (There’s this nagging behind my head that reminds me of the people in Gotham who did nothing yet yells for help/salvation, instead of fighting and protecting their “loved” ones.)

2. Have I achieved it? - The Fool

You’re only starting on this journey. Or maybe have yet to start on this journey. You probably realised this uhhh ability of yours very recently, or have only decided to really start doing something on it. See, realising this ability/skill doesn’t mean you have to do something about it. You may realise your skill for art but not continue cultivating that skill. It’s the same. You’ve probably stopped all those questions and try to take out that first step to do it. You’re killing your doubt step by step, betting in yourself and trusting in yourself to do something entirely new. (Yes, ITZY’s Bet On Me is playing as I write this.)

3. How to achieve it? - The Sun

There are so many things embodied in this card: brightness, hope, ray of hope, and more to come. What I’m feeling from this is mainly warmth, asking you to just be this Sun, to shine just as you are. It’s gonna sound weird but imagine healing rays? I’m cringing and having a weird face as I type this out. But yeah, just be who you are, to continue doing what you do. Just know that your presence is like a walking energy-purifier, lifting up the spirits even by smiling to strangers or wishing them a good day. You can attempt to try doing something else, for example, being more active in volunteer work in nursing homes and shelters, playing a part in activist activities, or even taking up counselling courses to help people out. These are only some of the many ways that are available. Most importantly is that you do kindness with kindness, not to have any ulterior motives behind them.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Seven of Wands rx

The world is changing, more and more people are experiencing a feeling of defeat and overwhelmingness, including you. All are called to make a change, and this is your part in the pledge to make a change. We have arrived at a time of change, and actions need to be taken. People have been fighting among themselves, you may even have been having conflicting thoughts and contradicting beliefs. Peace has been taken away, and instead of fighting to get back that same peace, it’s time to recreate a new peace that will work for this new world. A new structure is needed, and you’re one of those first few people who are tasked to build things anew again.

5. What can I learn from it? - King of Pentacles rx

What you’ll be learning is not only based on what you’ve experienced, but from what you’ve observed. You saw the fall of those who have been obsessed with earthly riches, those who have been paying attention to the materialistic realm, and have forgotten to nourish their soul and mental energy. The downfall was harsh and painful, reminding you that balance is needed in every aspect. From there, you’re gonna continue spreading kindness, letting the scars of the past be a reminder of what has happened, and how you’re gonna redirect the course of your energy.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Knight of Pentacles rx

Self-discipline will take you to a lot of places, and will also be able to take you to places that you thought you never would’ve reached. This gift of yours, this purpose of your is not to let you be more spiritual, but to be more down to earth. You’re supposed to be the bridge between the spiritual themes with the practical, existing world we’re living in right now.  From this, you’ll also be able to get connected to your roots, your family, your ancestry, even get connected to your race. I hope I do not get into trouble with how I phrase myself here hshshs. But y’know how colonialism has affected a lot of things, like religion and even language. I don’t quite remember where I heard it, but Tagalog or Filipino, languages of the Philippines, have Spanish influence in it. Or how Christianity kinda replaced the other folk religions with how it’s being brought in. So yeah, you’ll need to do the dissection to find out which was the original, which you wanna connect with. You define your own roots, and you take charge of it.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Tower

Whilst you dream, you clear your mind of all negativity and your spirit will be refreshed. With that, you’ll charge ahead, doing everything you can until you feel that you’ve changed the world. It sounds really idealistic, but if you need to remember the catastrophic energy that The Tower brings. The change is not gonna be small, and you can’t do it alone. You’ll work ahead, without knowing how long it’ll take. You then make friends on the way, working towards the same goal but with different tasks, slowly but steadily paving and painting a new path. Just like the straw that breaks the camel’s back, your tiniest effort shatters the restrictive and unhelpful rules that were oppressing the people.  That’s what you’re meant to be, that’s what you can achieve. But I need to remind you that this self-fulfilment level differs for everyone. One can feel content by doing small things, while some want the satisfaction that comes with doing great things. They are all valid and powerful acts in their own ways, and no one can deny the effort and effect that comes with it.

Overall energy: The Fool, Ace of Pentacles

Overall, you’re called to take actions to start a new chapter of your life. You’re the main character of your own story, you’re the one who decides how you want to paint your journey. However, whatever that you’re intending to do, remember to not do it alone. A solo trip is fun, but a journey? It’s best to have people joining your cause to support each other. Remember that there are other animals in The Fool, cuz one is  a guide and the other is a guard/support. The energy of rebirth and transformation comes heavily in this pile, and sometimes, it can destroy you in the process. Proceed with caution and with faith. We are praying for you as you travel.

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Pile 2: The Mirror

A card to represent you: The Sun

You attempt to be a person to bring warmth to people around you. The Sun shines warm lights, and that’s something you enjoy as well. But sometimes, when anger gets hold of you, you tend to burn people around you, accidentally or on purpose. You don’t really use the reason “I didn’t mean to”, because if you injure people, you totally mean it. It’s probably due to them crossing your boundaries repeatedly, and you didn’t want to hold back any longer. But still, the card wants to remind you of who you wanted to be. Do not let anger cloud the true you. Let out that anger at the right person, and go back to who you are, the warm and accepting you.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Judgement rx

I don’t really wanna use the word here but you’re called to learn the karmic lessons in the past, may it be the current past or your past lives. There are times that you hold on to your values, yet the world continues to challenge you, which may have made you question what is the meaning of you being here, what do you need to do to get out of this cycle of unfairness. Instead of fighting it, it’s time for you to discard the mask of pride that you’ve been wearing, and accept that unfairness is a part of life that you need to go through. Once there's acceptance, you can build a new structure (structure on how you go through problems, or building up new values or habits, or anything else that can help you). Humility is what you need. And stay away from humiliation. These are two very different things. People taking credit over what you do is… Something you need to be aware of. But. If there are people out there who take credit over what you do yet accuse you of copying or shit like that? Fight.

2. Have I achieved it? - Seven of Pentacles

This is something that will take long to achieve it, but you’re still on the way. You probably have noticed this… Thing? That things have been unfair and that it is too tiring to live, and you’re somehow somewhat struggling through life. Sure, there are times that are fun, but you know that fun does not last long and once it’s time, you continue crashing the waves and pressure life gives you.  You feel like you’ve been doing this forever, and things just don’t seem that they are turning better. Have faith that it will. Belief is a skill that comes with birth, you just need to hold on to it, believing that things will resolve in the end. Which it will. The struggles will become lighter eventually, because hard work and effort pays off.

3. How to achieve it? - The Magician rx

There are some other untapped talents in you, and it’s time for you to unlock them. You need to be able to find them and develop them. It’s not something you can easily access to, but it’s something you’ll need to practise and to get good at, and then to use them wisely. This untapped skill of yours may be something spiritually related, with you standing in between humanity and spirituality. You need to be aware to not fall into people’s traps, and to make sure that you do not manipulate others in the process. I feel that this pile may have some talents or skills in manipulation and deception (either you’re aware or not), but you can choose to not do so. Remember, if you choose to do so, there will be more things that you’ll lose. The Magician talks about alchemy, where you use one thing to exchange for another of equal value. 

4. Why do I need to do it? - Nine of Wands

There’s a resilience that you need to learn, encouraging you to pay attention to your rights, believe in yourself and defend your position or property. It is time to gather your experiences and life lessons, to reflect on what life has shown you. There’s this hint of spirituality that you’re also called to evaluate - to see what it has to offer in your life, to see how you can use this to make it another life lesson/asset of yours. You need to remember that the process of learning can be difficult and challenging, but you can also make it fun, make it lighter. Unlike in school, where you learn without passion (for most people), you are now learning new things because you’re interested in it. So yeah, learn through playing and experimenting, celebrate each growth and resilience you’ve unlocked. I hope I’m making sense here.

5. What can I learn from it? - Four of Cups

I doubt that many who pick this pile are happy with meditation, but this is one thing you’ll be learning. There’s a need to reevaluate yourself, and realigning values within you. I’m having some difficulties in forming my words, because it feels like your pile already knows about this, but in some sense, refuse to do this, refuse to acknowledge this. You’ve probably heard a lot of this kinda talk, where you need to do this and that to achieve that enlightenment. You really didn’t like that, and you still don’t like it.  Yet, this is needed. You need to go through a long while of silence, a time of reflection, to make changes and to be reborn again. It’s difficult, you may cry again and again, because you’ve been in darkness for so long, slowly giving up on whatever ways are out there. Know that it can’t be any darker than this, and it’s also a chance for you to recognise light, and to embrace that light.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Five of Cups rx

You have to accept pain has been crucial in your growth, and walk away from it. It’s time for you to move on, and you’ll find yourself to be more… Accepting? Acceptance is a huge theme in your reading, where you acknowledge that this has happened, and you accept it, and then move on with life. As long as you accept something has happened, that weight will be slowly lifted away from your shoulders. You won’t be able to move when you’ve been crushed by all those unhappiness (or even happiness) that you’ve been holding onto. Focus on wholeness, learn how to take things up and put them down, continue on with the journey of letting go.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Hierophant

The Hierophant is often related to religion, and it being paired with spirituality speaks even more so. I’m not saying that achieving enlightenment (don’t mistake it with the Buddhist term, please) IS fulfilling for you, but it is one step to achieve what you wanted - release. Life’s burdens have been pulling this pile down, and what you want the most is release, release from responsibilities; release from fears; release from expectations; release from this endless cycle that has been trapping you. You’ll need to invite in a new thought to be released from what has been tying you down, and it’s time for you to be reborn again.

Overall energy: The Lovers, Eight of Cups

There are times where you need to make decisions between two choices that were offered to you. Oftentimes, you want to pick neither, but life decides it for you anyways. Either paths will lead you to where you’re meant to go, so why not stand still for now and listen to your life? Looking at it may be distracting, as there are a lot of worries and neon lights around. Make a cup of drink, sit down, put on your earphones and play some soft music. You might be able to hear something.  One thing I have to mention is that there’s a heavy Pluto and karmic energy I’m sensing from here. It’s like… A huge circle, a cycle, where things happen again and again. You’ll need time (and a lot of time) to complete this cycle, only then you can break free from there. Some may feel dejected, but do remember that every step you’re taking right now is bringing you closer to the end. The Mirror is also here for you to reflect, to see who you are, and to see who you are Inside.  Make this promise that you’ll be kind to yourself, appreciate each step that you’re taking and celebrate the small wins.

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Pile 3:  The Key

A card to represent you: The World

This pile is giving me a very comforting and secured energy. Paired with this card, those who picked this pile may have completed a project, or have achieved one of their goals in life, or are close to closing an existing project with success. You may also be one of the fixed signs (Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio) or have them in your personal planets.  Another thing I’m picking up is that some of you may be looking out for new projects to start when you haven’t reached the end of the current project. Take a step back, do not rush into things quickly. Sure, an end speaks of a new beginning, but you need time to plan a proper project and to recuperate from the exhaustion of the previous project.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Three of Swords rx

I’m seeing more of a guide here. You have been through difficulties in life, and from those, you’ve gained experiences, insights, knowledge and wisdom. With that, you’re tasked to guide the rest who are going through a hard time this round. It’s difficult because kindness isn’t something everyone is equipped with, and for you, especially, you may find it a lil bitter. This is where you challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, to try something that you’ve never thought of, or even detest. But you gotta do it as the path you step on is the road to growth and illumination.

2. Have I achieved it? - Knight of Wands

You're charging towards it, albeit a lil reckless. You do have the passion in it, and you’re more than willing to be the change, even wishing that the change is something that can change the world. You can’t wait to experience the storm and thunder, wanting to feel the same scale of impact.  However, you need to remember that passion can dissipate quickly, like how it started. There might be transits in your life, maybe Mars is transiting one of your personal planets right now, which gives you that impulse of wanting to achieve something. You are in control of your response, but the actions of other people and events are not. Do not be dejected when people reject you, but continue ahead without that recklessness.

3. How to achieve it? - Ten of Swords

You will be able to achieve it by going through defeats. You’re one who learns through actual defeats, the pain, remembering the falls of life through your body and soul. From there, only then you can compile those you’ve learnt and observed into a book, for your own and other’s references. At this phase, you may feel pulled between one path or another, and pushed to make a decision. It can be quite tense, but don’t avoid it. These tense situations build your strength, getting you ready to fly. Do not bend; do not submit defeat, continue ahead to chase after your ideals. Let that resolution and will to be your light.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Two of Wands rx

There’s a fear in you, not knowing what you are meant to achieve. This could be a personal goal for you to focus throughout your lifetime, building yourself up, giving you an unnamed courage to find your inner power. I feel that you may have subconsciously (or maybe consciously) compared yourself to people around you, wondering where in life you are, what you’re meant to do. To counter that, you need to set a personal goal, to have some sort of inner alignment, and figure out what you want to achieve. Do you want to appear as a confidant people turn to? Are you keen on sharing thoughts and experiences to make people’s lives a lil bit easier? Try taking a notebook and writing your goals down, and see what you need to do, or what you should stop doing to achieve that. It’s time that you activate a certain switch in you to be that fire (either to warm or to destroy. It’s up to you).

5. What can I learn from it? - The Hierophant, Ace of Pentacles

I feel that you may be even able to start something, maybe a support group or a club, especially in a religious context. There’s some form of finances involved in it, so yeah, maybe a support group where you guide others, and others guide the others, and let the leaves of the tree expand. Finances will be involved in terms that there are donations coming in, which you may use to assist those who are financially needy.  You’ll be able to accept this new side of yours, and be more willing to reach out your hands because you could physically see how this chain of kindness continues on, holding on more hope that things can actually change for the better.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Judgement

It is time for you to reevaluate your life, what meanings you want to fix to your life. There may be a calling to change your life or open your heart to new possibilities, to new responsibilities or a new field of work. The horn in this card symbolises that there may be a wake-up call from the world around you, telling you that it’s time to stop being in your head, to see the world for who it is, and how you’re supposed to make changes, or answer to those changes. Change can refer to something tangible and immediate, or the whole way one sees life. In fact, you may have already changed without realising it.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Five of Cups rx

There’s a release from pain and suffering. The pain and suffering does not necessarily mean something physical, but something that’s more on a spiritual level. Y’know how sometimes one can feel… Empty and blank? That. That is actually suffering on a spiritual level, because you have no direction, no guidance, and sometimes that could feel suffocating. Some out there could just go along with life even though they have no idea what to do, and it’s cuz their direction of life is to go along with what the journey has to offer. What you’re doing right now is just standing there and looking blankly to where your eyes are looking, which increases the weight in your chest and legs.  Through this, you’ll be able to find a proper direction and the awakening that comes with it will elevate you. Walking again after you’ve been standing so long will be uncomfortable at first, but take small and steady steps. You’ll find yourself running again soon.

Overall energy: The Star, Four of Swords

This reading talks about hope and rest, and how they come hand in hand. I felt a weight on my chest as I was typing the self-fulfilment part, because of how heavy the desperation and feeling of loss is. Know that The Star is shining a gentle ray of hope, consoling you that things will be better. The Star may not be visible all the time, especially in the daylight. But know that she is always there, and you can hear her whispers in the night, when you think you’re about to fall. Be kind to yourself and share your beauty as well as knowledge with those around you. But remember to take rests as well. You can’t afford to do much when you’re having a burnout. It’s alright to fall, but remember to rest and stand up again. Your passion is your greatest drive, go for it.

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Pile 4: The Word

A card to represent you: The Magician rx

I feel like you’re currently standing in the middle of two different things, two very different and distinct fields (like science vs arts, realism vs spirituality), not knowing where to head to. There’s some sort of pull from both of them and you’re feeling very, very torn.  However, remember that the Magician is someone that has a lot of skills, and has been acting as the bridge between the physical plane and the spiritual realm for a long time. You, also, have the skills to bridge between the various fields/things that are scattered across. As the bridge, you can see the connecting and overlapping points, and you can build out from there. You honour differences and expand.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Two of Swords rx

Your role is to take out the blinds that were covering the people’s eyes, including yours. You are called to stop them from hiding or shying away from the truth, making them see what is the truth, calling them to face reality. For some reason, I feel that you may have not been very liked at home due to this nature. Your parents may think that their reputation or status as parents should not be challenged, but you couldn’t care less about it. What you cared about was that justice and truth be upheld, and you won’t hesitate to rip anyone apart if they tried saying otherwise. This, in turn, has created quite a huge confrontation when you were growing up. But are you stopping there? No. You will continue your role of wake up call, but only once or twice. You’ve understood that there are always people out there who want to run away from the truth, and you’re not gonna waste your effort and time on them.

2. Have I achieved it? - The Chariot rx

You’re currently in a fallback. You took a step back to look at the options available and to reevaluate the situation. You realise that you were having a narrow goal and vision tunnel, which will cost a lot of meaningless sacrifice. You may have thought that it was okay to let your horses run without holding the reins, but now is not the time. You’re now evaluating and weighing the pros and cons, which are the items that you want to invest your time and energy on, finding out where your passion lies. A word of advice: Do not be afraid to try multiple things. Nothing is fixed in stone. Just like you may discover a new favourite dish later, you may also discover a new skill that is useful.

3. How to achieve it? - Page of Cups rx

First of all, you need to kill your doubts and fears. Fear is one main thing that’s stopping you from trying new things in different fields. There are always new things out there waiting for you to try, there are new opportunities that can’t wait to come to you. Being protective of your own energy is important, but you need to get out at times, to talk to people, to learn their ideas and train of thoughts, to see things from their point of view. This way, instead of tearing down the blinds covering their eyes, you’ll be able to verbally convince them to take the blinds down themselves, which is a much gentler way. Be honest and true, even to your fears. Accept them, and they might reward you with something special.

4. Why do I need to do it? - The Fool rx, Knight of Pentacles

I’m seeing some form of heavy responsibility here. You are not tasked to enjoy or to have fun, but to be like a defender, a protector, even a fighter or truth. Unlike The Fool, who goes on new journeys having fun, you are stationed at a place, guarding the gates, making sure those who enter are those who have earned it. This responsibility is not randomly placed on people, but it chooses those who vow to bear witness to the truth. Obligation is a word that’s also relevant here, where you’re also willing to bear this duty. Not sure if you’re doing this because you want the truth to be known or you just wanna spite people by forcing them to look at their wounds. It’s all up to you.

5. What can I learn from it? - Page of Wands

It’s like… A stone egg hatching. You thought that it was a stone, from its rough and hard exterior. But in reality, it’s actually a dragon egg. You learn that miracles happen in various forms, and that one really needs to think of the various possibilities and potentials you hold, even the ones that sound impossible. It’s alright to fail, it’s alright to fall, as long as you continue to climb up and attempt, you’ll be able to see the glory that’s arriving your way. Glory is a huge word but it is what it is. Stop losing focus and get that glory in your hands.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Eight of Pentacles

You can transform into a gem by polishing and honing your skills. If I were to compare and describe, I’d say that you’re a jade as compared to other stones out there. It takes a skilled master to recognize the green under the hard and dusty exterior. Now, you’re that skilled master, and you’re gonna trim and polish the rock to reveal the gentle green in it. It can only be done little by little, and repeating the process until you see that gleam of green. And that’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna polish your skills day by day, night by night. Repetition of the task can sound mundane but that’s needed for you to be able to gain precision. This precision can be used in a lot of places, such as knowing the fine line of breaking the truth harshly or choosing to not say a single thing. Sometimes, people have their pride, and that precision will be able to help you to observe which line to cut, where to stop.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Ten of Swords rx

Through this, I’d say that you’ll be able to let go of the past hurt that you have. There is a lot of anger and pain, especially when you recall how you were treated unfairly. You weren’t in the wrong, but you still get attacked. Now, you’ve learnt how to see things from their side and handle them properly, you’re now able to move on from that anger. It’s difficult, but at least, that chapter of your life is ending. You can close that book, and move on to the second book of your trilogy. Life’s a journey, make the rest of it worthwhile.

Overall energy: The Star, Seven of Cups (Strength hidden behind that keeps wanting to show up)

The Word in this picture is Love. Redirect that love to yourself, allow hope to shine on you, and accept that gleam of hope. Opportunities are coming, but you need to learn how to differentiate them from the illusions or wishful thinkings you’ve made. Fret not, you have the strength, the power to discern them according to your inner code of morale. You have what it takes, so practice courage each day. There’s a new you in the future that’s waiting for you. They seem eager, and prepared to take you onto a new journey, to see the new sceneries that come along with it.

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Thank you for reading!

[teatraps]

Been thinking about Edgar killing Sarai

(Or more so, how it’s often portrayed by the fandom)

A lot of times when I see art of the scene or see how people describe it, it’s made out to be gratifying. Edgar is often portrayed as apathetic or even joyful when it comes to killing him. He kills Sarai as if he’s nothing but a pest, he holds no emotional attachment to the act and it barely weighs on his mind outside of maybe something he smirks at for getting away with and bitterness at what Sarai did to him to get him to that point. This is often the scene people refer to when trying to point out that Edgar is a “bad” person or that he’s gone off the deep end. It’s often treated as a characterizing moment for him, portraying him having a severe lack of regard for another human life in order to fulfill his own needs. However, I started to wonder if killing Sarai was as gratifying as people often make it out to be for Edgar. This is in no way saying people who portray it as gratifying are wrong, there’s not nearly enough solid evidence to prove that, but it’s just a possible other way to view it based on a few things I noticed and saw.

One of the first things of note that made me think this was his hallucinations of his paintings. As most people know, Edgar’s first letter shows us that he’s been having hallucinations of his paintings telling him to harm Sarai. People often pathologise Edgar based on this moment, treating him like a psychological anomaly which somewhat discredits his motivations and centers him being mentally ill instead of what Sarai actually did to push him to this point. This is then often followed by writing Edgar off as unhinged and possibly cruel because of his “abnormal psychological condition”. This is often treated as the first instance of Edgar going off the rails and losing himself; however, it’s often omitted that Edgar doesn’t immediately listen to these hallucinations. As his deductions show, Edgar saw these hallucinations and these paintings as horrible. He burns them because he hates the sound of their screams and (most likely) what they were trying to pressure Edgar to do. He likens them to the people of the aristocracy, which makes sense given they were trying to push him to disregard another human life for his own gain. This is a persistent problem in the aristocracy as shown by Edgar’s narrative. While of course the context is much different, the aristocracy usually doing it for financial gain while Edgar is doing it to get out of an abusive situation, it’s still technically a similar situation. Edgar rejects this idea though, he doesn’t want to think about killing Sarai. He doesn’t want to hear his paintings scream at him to “take his color”. And so, he burns his paintings and suppresses his inner thoughts, as his paintings often represent going deeper into Edgar’s psyche. He sort of dehumanizes himself by suppressing any thoughts of preservation and self in order to continue going along with Sarai’s external dehumanization.

In the same first letter, we also see what Edgar’s ideal solution for the problem was: Sarai just leaving with his lies. A completely passive and nonviolent solution. Edgar simply hoped that Sarai would just stop. He hoped that the abuse would just end, that his education under Sarai would be complete, and that he could just bury all that happened and continue on. He doesn’t seem like he’s looking to fight, he was just looking for Sarai to leave. This hope is then followed by Edgar reflecting on the hallucinations he’s having, egging him on to just kill Sarai. They tell him not to wait. They tell him to take Sarai’s color. They tell him to liberate himself of Sarai. And while this may seem intense, it’s also important to consider what happens to those who wait in Edgar’s narrative. Edgar’s mother waited for Edgar’s father to start caring about her health, he never did and she died. Ella (what I believe to be a better instance of this) waited for her father to find her, leading to her death. Waiting around for someone to care has never yielded good results in Edgar’s narrative, and he’s aware of that. Again, that doesn’t mean he wants to do this, but there’s a sense of understanding that he may have to do it, at least in his eyes. And given that Sarai groomed him, he most likely felt trapped with no other options.

This interpretation really formed in my head though, with his third letter. As Edgar reflects on his life and expresses his grievances with his father, Edgar goes a bit into detail about Sarai and describes what he did to him as “pitiful”. I thought that word choice was interesting because it instills the idea that Edgar feels a sense of guilt or shame about the situation, it was sad for him. A far cry from the apathetic or joyous portrayal of Edgar when thinking about what he had done. Pity implies compassion, it implies guilt, it implies sorrow. The purpose Sarai served was “pitiful”. Edgar saw all of it as “pitiful”. This, to me, outright goes against the idea that Sarai’s murder was gratifying in any way. Edgar’s not proud of what he’s done. He doesn’t call it righteous, or justice, or glorify it. He just looks at it with pity.

(Also, notably very different from the motives that are common in game 5’s narrative since most of the time the characters kill with the motive of justice and bringing righteousness. Contrastingly, Edgar feels no pride or glory in what he’s done. Once again making him stand out from his team)

As I explored the concept of Edgar not being proud of killing Sarai, and the act not being as gratifying as it is often portrayed, I noticed some other very small hints that are more subtle but could also be used as evidence for the claim. For example his b-tier, wanderer, describes how Edgar avoids getting involved in the happenings of the punished because he’s more concerned with his own survival. Taking this out of the context of the three faced god essence and instead trying to interpret it as a facet of Edgar’s character, this seems to imply that Edgar wishes to avoid conflict in order to maintain as peaceful of an environment as possible. He doesn’t wish to fight, as fighting would make it harder for him to simply live. This establishes that Edgar is not a fighter, he doesn’t want to have to get into conflict. Ideally, he wishes to lay low and exist in peace. Edgar not wishing to get into conflict can hark back to his avoidance of killing Sarai (and also probably his avoidance of conflict in game 5, making this a consistent character trait) by showing that his nature is more in line with using more peaceful solutions.

Another small piece of evidence I found was in the description of the letter opener. On the surface, the description seems like a tongue and cheek reference to Edgar murdering Sarai. Though, something about the phrasing caught my eye. “Used to open letters, under most circumstances.” Continuing with the idea that Edgar killing Sarai was not something he desired to do, this description could act as a very subtle way to point out that under most circumstances, Edgar would be using that letter opener to open letters. He would not think to use it as a tool for harm, let alone murder. Under most circumstances, Edgar would not turn to violence. Even the weapon itself, a letter opener, is an odd choice. A mundane, everyday object. Something that might be grabbed in a rush. It’s definitely not the image of a weapon somebody chooses in a preplanned murder. Especially in comparison to other weapons used in his narrative (specifically game 5): daggers, poison, poison covered daggers. All much more lethal options that have much more intentional use. And then, a letter opener. An everyday object almost no one would ever think to grab for violence, unless possibly in a state of panic and pressure. Under most circumstances, you will not find Edgar using violence to solve his problems. However, Edgar’s situation with Sarai was not “most circumstances”.

Now, why is this differentiation important to make when it comes to analyzing Edgar’s character? Well, as I stated earlier, this act is often referenced when trying to point out that Edgar is “bad” or “morally deprived”, using it as a reference to show that Edgar doesn’t value human life and is willing to discard of it to benefit himself (even if it was in the context of escaping abuse). This ends up undercutting one of the most important aspects of Edgar’s character and his motivations, being his love and intense appreciation of life. By adding a layer of regret and rumination on killing Sarai, it keeps this aspect of Edgar’s character in mind. It portrays the action of killing Sarai not as something Edgar wanted to do for his own gratification, but instead something he had to do reluctantly in order to survive. It is something that wracks his heart and mind, and not a decision he made lightly. Part of me is even hesitant to say “decision” as the autonomy of the action is a little debatable given the context. It challenges a commonly seen portrayal of Edgar that paints him as an apathetic, cold, and uncaring character, completely dismissive of other people’s problems and lives. Again, this is not to say that this interpretation is the objective truth, but I do think it could be worth looking into as a possibility.

(Btw: Sarai’s abuse was systemic. We all watched Quiet On Set, we know that kind of exploitation and abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Even in Edgar’s deductions, his father begins to imply he wants Sarai to make an artistic star out of Edgar and his 3rd letter shows how his dad wanted to use Edgar as “decoration”. Sarai’s actions were a reflection of the greater issues of the aristocracy and their exploitation for profit. Just wanna add that since sometimes it feels like people treat Sarai’s abuse as a self contained thing instead of an issue that ran deeper. Even Edgar acknowledges that the aristocracy will still suck whether Sarai is there or not in his 3rd letter because the abuse he faced was due to the inherent structure of the aristocracy)

[the-only-teruteru-fan]

So- Danganronpa became a big enough fandom for me that I decided to make a side blog for it! And because…I need a community my dudes

ME:

I’m @snickerzanddoodlez, you can call me whatever you’d like! I’ve finished the first and second games, but I intend to complete the series so please avoid spoilers for DGv3 past Chapter 5 when interacting with me! I did finish the Danganronpa 3 anime (you know, with the different arcs) though!

My favorite characters are Teruteru, Gundham, Ryoma, Byakuya, Kaito, Yasuhiro, and Togami! Fuyuhiko, Gonta, Kokichi, and Monokuma are very close behind :) (NOTE: I don’t support all of these characters’ actions! You know who this disclaimer is about, haha! And my affection of said individual doesn’t exactly extend to the End of Hope’s Peak Academy anime…) Also, I haven’t played Danganronpa v3 yet, but I think I’ll like that weird little guy who looks like Mineta

I’m a Warrior Cats veteran, so…the things I make might end up being a little weird!

I also sell cute lil’ Danganronpa stickers!

I do commissions, too! Fund my Doll-gonronpa Collection

ASKS:

The ask box is always open for questions, discussion, suggesting incorrect quotes / art / animatics, etc!

By the way! I like to be incredibly needlessly angsty and cringy- so we don’t judge here! I’m still getting a feel for what does and doesn’t fly in this fandom- so give me the best you’ve got! All of your angst and ideas- maybe I’ll draw them!)

Just stay generally SFW (suggestive jokes and the likes are fine!) and keep in mind that I am 16!

RPS:

Currently occupied with a few!

TAGS:

Oh! FYI, I tag posts that fit into the same niche the same way! Here’s the list!

Incorrect Quotes - dgnincorrect

Headcanon - danganheadcanon

Posts I Look Back On for Comfort - my happy posts

Animatics / Animation - danganimatic

Fankids - Koji Hinata, Hotaru Tanaka, Aika Miodasoda, Haru Nidai, Mieko Nidai, Natsuki Kuzuryu, Fumiko Kuzuryu, Kiko Naegi, Honda Hagakure

The Nextgen Killing Game - legacy killing game

“IMPORTANT” STUFF

-The Teruteru Essay

-Animatics (Even Unlisted Ones!)

MY BUDDIES:

(If you are on this list and uncomfy with it let me know!)

-@detective-dick-gumshoes-pot-room

-@susiecampbelll

- @thedaydreamerscastle

MY SHIPS

Please note! As long as it isn’t incestuous / predatory, I don’t really mind what people ship- these are just my biggies! I’m also a really big fan of weird / unconventional ships, despite the lack of them on this list. Not PRO-ships, let’s get that straight, just ships that make you think about ‘em for a minute…like, “who came up with this??” I dig those.

TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC:

Ishimaru x Mondo

Makoto x Kiyoko

Byakuya x Toko / Genocide Jack (I like to pretend they love each other. And make them less creepy)

Sakura x Aoi

Yasuhiro x Aoi (but as adopted siblings)

Celeste x Hifumi (I’m not active in this ship, nor am I even sure it actually exists I just think they should fix each other)

GOODBYE DESPAIR:

Gundham x Sonia

Akane x Nekomaru

Fuyuhiko x Peko

Monokuma x Monomi (silly)

Hajime x Nagito (but only Nagito’s one-sided crush on Hajime)

Chiaki x Hajime

Kazuichi x Ibuki

Imposter x Mikan

KILLING HARMONY:

Shuichi x Kaede

Tsumugi x Gonta

Korekiyo x Kirumi (Kokichi is their son) (don’t even ask)

Miu x Keebo (Monotaro is their son)

Kaito x Maki (one of my OTPs for this fandom, honestly)

Shuichi x Kaede

Ryoma x therapy

Kokichi x Himiko

[sirenscriptures]

hey! we need to talk.

well hello again!! i hope you’re all doing well. i feel like it’s been a minute since i’ve actually spoken to anyone on here.

as some of you may or may not have noticed, i’ve been pretty absent on this blog lately. at least, more than i usually am. i haven’t posted any writing in well over a month which is a little out of character for me. i’ve had quite a few writing blogs on here and i can’t really recall a time where it’s been that long without me posting at least a drabble.

in my time away from this app and from fic writing in general, i’ve realized a couple things changing about myself + my attitude towards this place in general.

honestly, i’ve come to the conclusion that i don’t really get the same satisfaction from writing on here as i used to. it could be due to the lack of feedback from the general public on here, or really just me admitting that i don’t want to write for pre-existing characters/storylines forever. let’s settle it as a mixture of both!

and don’t get me wrong, i still enjoy fanfiction writing. i adore the community here and the people i’ve had the privilege to meet even through the littlest moments. it’s made me not only a better creative, but also just better in general.

i’ve just been doing this kind of thing for so long (really since i was in 1st grade mapping out my first warrior cats fanmade storyline and oc), and i think between that, and all of these more mature/explicit writing blogs i’ve had in the past 4-5 years, maybe i’ve just grown tired of ALWAYS resorting to fanfiction.

i’ve always wanted to create something that is truly mine, and i feel like i’ve been sort of “limiting” myself this whole time in a weird way. a part of me knows it isn’t true, since this has been pretty expansive for my creativity. and it’s an art form that, in my opinion, doesn’t get anywhere near enough credit for all of the thought that goes into it. i mean, you have to be pretty damn creative to be able to write multiple descriptions of sexual penetration in the same oneshot that actually sound good, and don’t sound like they were ripped straight out of booktok. just saying! (that was a joke please don’t kill me)

anyways, this is getting to be way too long of a post for something so unimportant LMAO.

to get to the point, i’m not going to be active on this blog much longer. i’m probably going to post my final works in these next few months (possibly a few fics for my feeble attempt at a kinktober, and maybe a few for my bday month in december).

and just to clarify, this is in no way me saying that i’m leaving tumblr for good after those few months are up. this is also not me saying i’m quitting “fanmade” creative works forever. i still love writing a good fic and making fan art from time to time!

in the hopefully better part of this news, i have been planning out my art account for when i feel this blog has run its course and i’ve made everything i need to make. i probably won’t announce it publicly, but for those who want it when that time comes, i will definitely make sure you get the url. as usual, mooties get first pickings when that time comes <3

i don’t imagine this will disappoint many people since i’m not really “leaving” but who knows. i’m not expecting many people to even read this far or even notice if i’m here or not lol. i just didn’t want to deactivate out of the blue since that wouldn’t make sense for me to do.

even though i’ll still be on this blog for a few more months, i want to thank you all for giving me a space to grow and express myself. not just as a creative, but as a person too. this sounds really stupid and corny but i mean it. sure, i’ve never made record numbers on here, i’m not the most popular, but i can say without a doubt i have a wonderful group of people around me on here. even if we never meet in person, or if we never interact again outside of this blog, all of you on here will always be somewhere in my memory and i will always be so grateful for you since you made me feel like i was good enough to be seen. even if it was for my shitty smut fics. <3

i love and appreciate every single one of you. let’s have a great last few months on here, ok?

vlynn

[randoimago]

Day 13. Selkie Rohan x Reader

note(s): Rohan and Selkie is definitely an interesting combo and I hope I wrote this alright!

requested by anon

Rohan wasn’t really looking for romance or anything of the sort. Humans fascinated him and gave inspiration for his stories. So shedding his skin and living as a human was easy for him where it may be difficult for others of his kind.

Of course, once he started growing famous from the manga he’d write and draw, he needed someone to manage his schedules and things. There are still many human concepts that he doesn’t grasp or care to take time to understand. And that led to him hiring you.

He didn’t really speak to you in the beginning, figuring you’d be like other humans that saw him as a pretty face. Rohan would sometimes give you specific orders, but besides that he let you handle things. Your resume was good enough that he had trust in you, so long as you listened.

Over time, Rohan grew more curious about you. He’d ask questions, learn about things you enjoyed. Sometimes he’d bring up ridiculous hypotheticals just to see your reaction. Although none of your reactions were as funny as when he’d “waste” money on things like a third house somewhere that’s supposedly haunted.

Rohan should’ve known that your curiosity as his… maid? Manager? Whatever job title you had. He has enough money and your resume is good enough to handle a lot of things he doesn’t have time for. But, he should’ve known that your human curiosity would get the better of you.

There was one room he told you to stay out of. But his trust grew in you and so he asked you to get him some art supplies from the room, so long as you didn’t snoop around. Maybe it is partially his fault for not specifying where the supplies were.

Rohan heard you muttering before you came back into his office, holding up his shedded skin with a look on your face like it was gross.

“Is this from another animal you killed just for inspiration?” You ask him and he rolls his eyes.

“You make it sound like I steal people’s pets and kill them.” He ignored the pointed look on your face. “That’s just my skin, go put it back.”

“Your… skin?”

“Yes, I’m glad you can hear.”

He recognized the annoyance on your face from his lack of clarifying. Rohan just let out a sigh as he finally gives you his full attention. “It’s a long story. We’d need to go to the beach for me to explain.”

“Did you kill a seal?” A smirk crosses Rohan’s face at your question.

“You’re getting warmer, but I promise I hadn’t killed anything.” He watches as you seem confused, annoyed, then finally tired of dealing with him being cryptic.

“Fine, don’t answer my question,” you say and turn away. “I have half a mind to throw this away.” He hears you mutter and a look of panic crosses his face. You have thrown away the remains of some mice he’s had as well as snake shed. He would not put it past you to throw out something else you deem as him not needing anymore.

Rohan stands and before you can blink, he has you against the wall, his hands on either side of his head. He’s not trying to intimidate you, especially with the look in his eyes.

“Do not throw it away. I can’t lose it,” he tells you, an almost pleading in his voice. While he has lived most of his life as a human, the sea still calls to him. The idea of losing his skin and being unable to ever go home is torture.

“Rohan, you’re acting weirder than usual.”

He lets out a sigh and looks at you. For a second, he’s curious about the reaction you’d make if he leaned in. But there are more important things to think about and so he steps back, giving you your space.

“How versed are you in mythology and folklore?”

“… Like dragons?”

Rohan makes a face. “Dragons, really?” You look annoyed again and he sighs. “Do you know what a selkie is?” He asks, deciding it’d be easier than having you tell him whatever myths you know of.

“Selkie? I think I’ve heard some people mention something about them living in the water.”

Rohan nods at your words. Considering how close the water is to this town, he’s not surprised that there are murmurs of selkie.

“Well, it’s what I am. That skin you’re holding is mine. I had to shed it to be able to pass as a human.” You look unsure about his words. You probably think he’s lost it.

“It’d explain how eccentric you are.” Rohan makes a face at your words.

“Eccentric? I’m perfectly normal.” He ignores your look again. “If you don’t believe me, we can go to the ocean and I can show you,” he adds, reminding you of that option. You still look unsure.

—

“It’s too cold to be at the beach, Rohan,” you complain and he ignores it as he holds his skin and walks closer to the water. A sigh of relief hits him as he steps into the water, always feeling relief when he comes back, and the skin in his hand begins to stick to him.

The transformation takes a moment and as Rohan treads the ocean water, he looks to where you’re standing on the beach, wide eyed and looking as if you’ve seen something unbelievable.

“This is my true form,” Rohan tells you, unable to help a smirk at your reaction. If he knew this is how you’d act then he’d have taken you to the beach years ago.

“What the fuck, Rohan.” Well you’re still functioning at least.

“Like I told you, I’m a selkie. Go to a library or something to learn more,” he says and rolls his eyes playfully at you. The water always does make him feel a bit more mischievous than usual. “I’m hungry. Want me to catch you a fish?”

Oh your reaction is priceless at that.

It’s rather amusing trying to answer your many questions. Especially when he finally sheds his skin again and you still don’t know how to react. Perhaps it’s still his mischievous nature but he lets out a long sigh, feigning annoyance.

“And now that you’ve seen my true self, we have to get married.” It’s not quite true, but he deeply enjoys your reaction at that.

[elizakai]

UH OKAY DUST X REAPER AND/OR SWAPFELL X NIGHTMARE? AHEUUEHA

omfg i love you i’m jumping at the chance to look at dust x reaper i better see some art somewhere in this fandom OUGH ok

well, dust’s died like how many times now, lets just assume they’ve ENCOUNTERED one another yeah?

⬇️⬇️⬇️

reaper feels bad for him. he isn’t even allowed to actually die, just experience death over and over, only to be thrust back into this torturous cycle.

imagine dust dying in the hall, he’s stumbling away and he just. sees the grim reaper. and he’s like oh shit. well then. *gets thrown back whenever they decide to reset*

reaper visiting a lot because, well, he’s dying a lot, he’s probably gotta. imagine a scenario where they actually get to talk. but its so so brief, dust is never dead very long, and reaper probably shouldn’t interfere otherwise…

(he’d also, be witnessing the deaths of the aus other residence, which. interesting. wonder what they have to say about things. and what reapers response may be.)

(of course this is assuming they interact after death, which i think makes sense with common depictions of the reaper at least)

dust probably chalks him up to a vision he’s having, or hallucination, when he dies, but maybe when he’s given more time, they can have broken up conversations.

like hey, mid sentence he gets thrown back into the land of the living, but HEY! next time he dies, just pick up the convo like nothing happened. “Anyways as i was sayin-“

Another thing to think about is just how SIMILAR dust is to geno. and most of us are afterdeath junkies i think💀

like, dust and geno have VERY similar motivations and go to similar lengths (think of error even)

i think of reaper could come to respect genos desires and motives, he’d feel the same towards dust. reaper always strikes me as a really lonely person, and dust is too for obvious reasons.

i’m imagining a scenario where reaper is just. real bored of just watching. so he starts like following dust around so he can see him. and dusts like ah. cool. fucking phantom ass to add to the list. i’m imagining reaper telling him like no, i’m very real dude, and dust is like haha ok, lemme touch you then

…for obvious reasons he can’t let him touch him💀💥 but that would probably make dust assume he is in fact a hallucination. but that’s ok. he’s an ODDLY nice hallucination.

maybe he even reminds him of the river person🤷🏽‍♀️

anyways, reaper just having convo, dust finding he likes it, it’s pleasant chatter to listen to, and then he’s like damn i really am sick, why am i so attached to this weird ass hallucination

(i’m just idea dumping so hard i apologize.)

reaper would find his conviction kinda cute, if not slightly frustrating. like bro, out here denying my existence, wtf💔

i wonder, if reaper can touch him when”” when he’s in the space of death, temporarily.

that would be cool :,))

if reaper doesn’t show up for a while and comes back dust just, getting happier, he’s got someone to talk to again that isn’t a dead friend or relative he’s killed multiple times.

i imagine dust has seen “death” enough times that, in life, he can “see death” (reaper)

they gain this weird little affection for eachother ok💔 a selfish part of reaper hopes dust will always get reset…so he can come talk to him

but part of him is also disgusted by the hope that he’s able to just. be laid to rest. what can be done yk?

YOU COULD MAKE THIS SO ANGSTY WHERE LIKE the anomaly suddenly

stops!

and dust is actually on his way to wherever you’d go when you die

imagine, reaper just. guiding him away to whatever afterlife or lack thereof, carrying his soul away and having to let him go. no more coming back.

cries

or yk, we can imagine a scenario where dust gets out of the loop, and they continue to see eachother and have their weird little friendship (?)

dust is like “i’ve seen death, he’s over my shoulder as i walk, whispers in my ear as i lie awake at night. death awaits my presence, and i deaths. i’ve felt the touch of death, and it was unbearably sweet , a feeling i will forever long for”

*horror from whoever he’s speaking to*

meanwhile reaper is just like, telling stupid jokes in his ear and giggling over someone’s stupid outfit, gossiping about the other gods and making dust look crazy laughing at stupid shit

i wonder if reaper could potentially see dusts phantoms, it’s a fun idea. they aren’t REALLY there, but dusts magic is kind of projecting them i imagine, and reaper has seen them when they die. i just imagine him shooing them away for dust, and he’s like naw man pay attention to me instead *slutty little strut*

you could interpret the way death even works a million different ways and have a bunch of different potential even. what if dust were to die and reaper…DOESNT guide his soul away. what if he keeps him. maybe dust wants that. they could “be together”.

maybe there’s an afterlife, and reaper is able to cross the gap. who knows. lots of potential.

they both have hoodies >:3 idc if that doesn’t mean anything

i feel like reapers dark humor would almost comfort dust lmao, it kinda lightens the load for him. reaper can assure dust that their souls are…ok. they’re at peace.

reaper is just happy to feel so validated and seen all the sudden

he can help dust understand how life really works

ironic huh. the essence of death being the thing that gives you a will to live.

just imagine in a time he’s died, reaper not being able to help himself. he just comes in for a hug. and both of them need it so badly. when dust is alive, he CANT touch him.

they both think about that hug a lot <//3

[shit-talk-turner]

I’m not a fangirl of Louise who praises every step and kisses the ground she walks on. But I’m passionate about art. Various fields. Criticize her all you want, nothing can stop you. But taking away her credibility as an artist, calling her lazy or fake is completely ridiculous for someone who understands art. Her being a partner of a successful musician is not helping here. People call her talentless but I’m sure she won’t let soulless creatures dictate her worth. Pointless. The problem is that not all talents are visible at first glance. And there’s no definition for an artist. Fuck you Cambridge Dictionary! Being an artist is inconsistent. Doesn’t require releasing music every few months. Because it doesn’t have a DEADLINE. In fact, you can be an artist and never release anything. Business is not art. Industry is killing the real meaning of it. Some people enjoy composing and the creative process more than publishing. It can be more about the journey rather than final product. And the satisfaction and fulfillment comes from creating, not selling it. They do it for themselves. And they’re still artists. Artistry is in your heart. So what that she hasn’t released anything in a long time? Again. I’m not her little minion coming here to defend her. I gain nothing from that, she doesn’t know I exist. But for the love of God, think outside of the box. For a second. It’s not guitar skills, genres, vocal techniques that make you a „real artist”. Who cares if she’s a beginner or expert? As long as there’s a story, emotion or anything she wants to express IT’S VALID and artistic enough. And she doesn’t need to share it now, in 5 years or ever to prove it. Her voice is not perfect? So fucking what. Do you know how many bad singers still made it? And they play shows and found their audience. Let’s study music genres and then fucking shit on them. Fuck rules. Experiment. Have fun. Live. Creativity is FREEDOM. For me the magic in Arctic Monkeys is the mystery. But journalists and fans want short answers, names and dates. Is it about Arielle, is it Alexa?daaaamn. Louise gets a deadline to prove herself as an artist. Alex gets constant demands for explanation. Everything is being ruined by nosinesss. No wonder why he stutters all the time having to avoid questions. Man protects his art. So yeahhhh. It is what it is. But destroying art and freedom of expression with such generalization should be fucking illegal. There are so many problems in the creative community and to see something like this coming from fans is just heartbreaking? I suppose for an artist it’s like asking a friend for a comfort hug and getting slapped in the face instead. But I guess I expect too much from fans. And I’m naive to think you care about art. It’s not Louise, it’s a bigger problem and she’s just one example. So if you’re an artist and you’re reading this: I see you. You’re not lazy for taking time. If you struggle with procrastination or lack of inspiration - I see you. You don’t make money or big numbers on Spotify? I see you. If you lost your spark you’ll get it back. World is cruel but your passion is stronger. If you feel rejected or useless - I believe in you. If you ever thought about conceptualizing an emotion that’s enough for me and your sincerity is all I need to believe in you as an artist. You are important. Your vulnerability is needed. I need it. You help me when you don’t know it. Because world is lacking humanity. So take your time. Amen. And to all ignorants: I dance on your bitter heart. I hope you’ll grow. Find the courage to shine. Fall in love. Appreciate life. I’m not angry. I’m heartbroken but also hopeful. I believe in your improvement. We live in an era of AI takeover. It’s scary. It’s stealing jobs. The pursuit of perfection is killing us. But I believe humanity will win. Emotions are stronger. Always hopeful and forgiving. Even when you try to kill creativity and put it in a box. There is always someone who understands, someone who will take time to read your script even if it’s long. So please. Think. Thank you

Yes, no one can take away the fact that Louise is an artist if she's making art. There's just no evidence she IS making art. We have zero issue with her making art/music/whatever for herself and never releasing it if that's what floats her boat either. We just wonder how she's supporting herself (I mean, we know, but you know what I mean). We also aren't demanding a deadline from her?

Also, people here who think her music or her voice is bad are entitled to that opinion. Just like anyone who thinks her music or voice is good are entitled to THAT opinion. Someone having a negative opinion of your art doesn't make you less of an artist. It comes with the territory of BEING AN ARTIST.

Thank you for your manifesto but we're not sure why you felt the need to share it here as no one is saying someone who makes bad art or unreleased art ISN'T an artist. Both mods make art in some form that will likely never see the light of day (we hope otherwise, obviously) and that someone somewhere would probably hate. We're fine with it. We're not defensive about being called artists or not though.

[biscuitblinkeu]

Build A Bitch [1]

Park Chaeyoung x Fem!reader

Word count: 3884?

Warnings: this applies to every chapter: Profanity is used, and there is trigger warnings

A/n: Don’t ask why this chapters so long because I have no idea what possessed me to write that much, it’s practically two chapters in one… And, maybe, just maybe, I waited till I reached 400 followers (Wow! Thank you!) to post this series.

“Why is it that I always find you hiding in here?”

…………………………………………………………………………

Multiple times, when you have nothing to occupy your mind, the question is drawn about and you find yourself asking: what makes someone a Crazy Bitch? The term most indefinitely applies to women, and is said by a “friend” or man in most cases.

Is it a woman that has emotional problems?

“I don’t know how you deal with that crazy bitch. I’d never put up with her antics.”

Is it a woman who after a break up slashes the tires of your car, burns your clothes, and tries to get you fired from your job, that calls you the next day to reconcile?

“That crazy bitch keyed my car!”

Is it a woman who has suffered during their childhood, and as a result of the experience matures to be simultaneously lascivious and sexually aggressive?

“I refuse to go clubbing with her, she’s constantly acting like she’s going to fuck everyone— it’s embarrassing, you can’t go anywhere with that crazy bitch without getting into some kind of trouble. She needs to get help.”

You believe, contrary to the stereotypes that come with the term, that a “crazy bitch” is an intelligent woman who will call you out on your behavior. That will not put up with your bullshit and will hold everything in until you push her to the point that she explodes, and tells you everything about yourself. Verbally destroying your existence, and exposing you for the true piece of shit you are. There’s little to nothing (at all) mentally wrong with these women. Calling them crazy is the only defense a person has to make her seem unstable to everyone.

You slide into a chair, dropping your backpack to the floor with a sigh. You decided to go to your on-campus Starbucks to pass time till class starts. The campus is partially empty because no one takes morning classes. You’re here because you are, in fact, a morning person— though it doesn’t feel like that today. Today, you’d do anything for an extra hour or two of sleep. You’re here because you’re an art major, because your professor, Mr. McCarthy, believed waking up at the (ass) crack of dawn is the most effective way to get those “creative juices” flowing. In short, you and your peers had no choice.

On any other day you would’ve enjoyed your 8:00am life drawing class, but your head is killing you, and so are your feet (you should’ve taken the train) since you wanted to walk across campus and enjoy the morning dew of spring. You’re thirsty and you have half the mind to go and get free water at Starbucks but you don’t want to get up. Everything is just so bright and dizzy. Thus why your head is situated on the oh so cool table top, offering you short relief and bliss.

“(Y/n)!”

You groan, slowly lifting your heavy head from the table in hope of easing the splitting throb and squint at the woman who’s robbed you of your peace. She finishes the journey to you and pulls out a chair next to you and you wince. Everything she does is too loud for you right now.

“Lisa,” you sigh, exasperated. “Would it kill you to be a little more subtle?” You sound tired and your voice is a little raspy from the lack of hydration.

Lisa stops talking about her multiple cats and pauses, finally giving you a look over. “Oh.” She whispered, looking apologetic. She gives you a deprecatory smile. “Hangover?”

You nod numbly and Lisa gets up without another word. You close your eyes, only to feel the back of them throbbing in tandem along with your head. About two minutes later, Lisa is back with a Gatorade and banana walnut and pecan loaf.

She sets them in front of you, smiling. “Here, for you. I hope you feel better.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to Lisa, thank you.” You uncap the Gatorade and take a few sips, feeling much more comfortable now that your throat is wet. What would you do without Lisa?

The Thai befriended you freshman year when you shared the photography-I class with her. You didn’t even know how to use a camera if it wasn’t your phone’s. She helped you get through the class with good marks. She ignored what others told her about you and approached you— and you don’t know why she did, because freshman-year you was a trip. You bonded over your love for the arts and animals, quickly becoming close friends. Now, it’s your junior year and you’re still close as ever. You wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your friendship.

You and Lisa don’t share as many classes this year as you did prior, but you still hang out often. Lisa shares the photography-III and English class with you this year. She majors in dance. Lisa excels in all her classes— especially dance. (This girl can really move!)

As you eat the banana-pecan bread, you wonder why Lisa hasn’t asked you why you have such a bad hangover. Usually she’s on your tail about that, lecturing you on why you should stop going out so much. She knows you went to a party in the upperclassmen’s dorms last night with your Fine Arts major friends.

You observe Lisa, who rambles on about the new choreography she’s learning that she wants to show you, and wonder. Has she finally given up on making you a better you? Is she dissatisfied and disappointed that you still went to the party against her wishes? That you continue to mingle with those:

“Poor excuses of a friend group.”

“Bad influences.”

“Scrooges.”

“Substandard stick-figure drawing shit-heads.”

The last one makes you laugh because it’s the first time you heard Lisa use obscenity and curse. She was really mad that time: when she found out the art portfolio assignment you worked on won the drafting to get featured in a student art showing at a popular museum, she was ecstatic for you. But it failed to be submitted because you were suspected of plagiarism.

For some reason your work looked incredibly similar to your friend’s. It was obvious she copied you. Lisa thinks that your friend had very obvious intentions. If she doesn't win, you don’t win. You go down with her. So when it was obvious you were going to win, she pirated your hard work. Even acted like you stole hers— and the fact you were “friends” didn’t make anything better.

You were devastated at the time, but got over it. Lisa never did, and with a vengeance, she even got her law major friend Jennie involved. Now that? That was a whole mess.

“Why are you staring at me?” Lisa pipes up, and you realize she’s finished her rant and has been calling for your attention for quite some time now.

“You’re not going to ask…?”

“Do you want me to?” Lisa smiles knowingly.

“Yes, actually. Please bestow some of your wisdom on me.” You joke.

“Well,” Lisa begins. “How was the party?” Internally letting out a sigh at her broad question, you know she has to start somewhere.

“It was…interesting.” You say, trying to give a noncommittal response, which you suppose will suffice, considering that you were drunk and can hardly remember the whole event anyway.

“Interesting how? What were you up to?”

Oh, just your usual sexual escapades— can’t tell her that, though, can you?

You shrug and sip from your Gatorade, avoiding eye contact with her. “I don’t remember much…just drinking, dancing, I might have kissed a few people too.” You mutter, almost to yourself.

Lisa furrows her brows. Her gaze flickers to your neck, scrutinizing the expanse of revealed skin. She does this for a moment more before speaking again, seemingly satisfied with what she saw: no marks. “Did you hook up with anyone?” She asks, and the hint of concern in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed.

Lisa wasn’t fond of you sleeping with people you or she didn’t know well, even if those said people went to your college. Lisa may not approve of some things you do, but she’s a loyal friend who just wants you to stay safe.

Your face feels warm. “No,” you assure her. “Just kissing.”

Right.

She lets the topic go after that, and she tells you what’s happening in her life right now. Along the way, she got up to buy herself a drink as well, having to stand in a line now that more people are arriving.

It's then when you get a text. Upon opening the chat, your heart drops to your stomach. A text, followed by a chain of photos of you that are absolutely humiliating. The pictures seem to have the one focus to show you in some type of lewd way— like you’re some kind of horny bitch.

The first attachment has you captured during a passionate kiss as you're grinding onto a man’s lap, arms hooked around his neck as he holds your hips. Another shows you with hands slightly under a woman’s dress, you have her pinned against the wall, your lips together in an eager manner. The rest of the pictures follow a similar fashion, some even having inappropriate comments edited on the bottom.

Your phone dings again. It’s a message this time.

Oh God. Your stomach lurches and that deep feeling of anxiety begins to boil. You reread it over and over, irrationally hoping the words are just an illusion and that if you read it again and again the words will change. (They don’t.)

What if I were to post these online?

Your first thought was that whoever this is, is joking. This is just some sick prank from someone who was at that party last night. Who would be that invested in your life to go to the extent of stalkerish behavior?

You must’ve taken too long to reply because another one is sent a minute later.

Everyone knows you're a crazy bitch, what harm will it do?

Oh?

Your jaw is clenched and you stare at the images and texts, seething. That two worded term gave them away. There’s only two people who still call you that, so it’s either both or one of them responsible for this.

With trembling fingers, you turn off your phone. Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes. Hundreds of thoughts are racing through your head— but the recurring question lingers: How dare they?

It’s another thing that you’re not even disappointed. A little shaken, yes. Shocked? Totally. But disappointed? Not at all.

You knew.

So, it feels like cold water was poured on you, it feels like being slapped; with reality. It’s the long awaited, big and regretful I-told-you-so moment— because Lisa told you so.

And because Lisa told you so, you’re going to do what Lisa told you not to do (if this situation was to come).

You open your eyes to Lisa, still in line, looking at you in concern and confusion, probably wondering why you look so distressed. “You alright?” She mouths, brows knitted. You smile weakly, giving her a thumbs up before looking at the white marbled floors.

A moment later you open the contact again and stare blankly at the screen, thinking about your plan of action. This is considered blackmail, isn’t it? That means that the course of action you should take is talking to a blackmail attorney and reporting who sent those photos. And as satisfying as that sounds— that whoever sent those would be fined or sent to prison— you don’t plan on doing that. (Yet.) There’s much more satisfying ways to deal with this, afterall.

You nearly fall out of your chair when a hand touches your shoulder.

“(Y/n)? Who sent those?” (Thank God) It’s Lisa, who now stands directly behind you looking over your shoulder. She’s frowning and looks as if she’ll blow a fuse if you don’t answer her, and quickly too. But all you can think about is finding the person/s who took these. The chair you were sitting on skids on the marble as you abruptly stand, shoving your phone into your sweatpants’s pocket and gathering your things at a fast pace.

“Where are you going?” Lisa asks, alarmed as you start walking towards the building exit. “Wait!” She reaches out and grabs your arm. “…Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, alright?”

“I won’t.” After today passes, you think.

Loud laughter that turns silent, turns into grumbles and bitchy whines very quickly.

“Hey guys!” You shout when you’re a few footsteps away from their little circle, moving towards them quickly. They’re always in the same spot, it wasn’t hard to find them. Iseul, Ramus, Riley, and Krystal were all surrounded around Jackson, looking down at his device giggling like little girls. They barely had time to react as you bulldozed through. “What’s so funny? What are we laughing about? Let me see,” you forcefully snatch the phone out of his hand much to his shock.

So funny. Just fucking hilarious. They were laughing at the pictures of you— of course, and they seemed to have had lots of fun coming up with captions at the bottom of the photos and playing with the dumb filters.

Almost immediately, you delete the file from the photo editing app they used, exit out, and click onto his photos. Krystal, the Barbie wannabe is on her toes a moment later, ready to snatch the phone out of your hands. You see, you have to be careful around her; you all call her “Swiper” (no swiping) for a reason. She swiped your ex; Jackson; your cash, your clothes, your art, your— you get the point. But she’s the clumsiest person you know, so you're not really surprised she tripped onto her ass when you dodged her outstretched arm.

You deleted the photos from the Camera app on his phone, and then you had to go to the Photos app and delete them again, permanently. On to the Messages app now.

You can’t help but question why this is so easy. Your little group has five people, but only two of them are actually trying to get the phone back. Jackson chases you down and wow, is it hard to run and tap on a phone at the same time. You’re lucky you ran track in highschool. Eventually you ran out of places to run due to the lake behind you that cuts the campus halfway into two parts. Maybe you shouldn’t have ran onto the dock. It’s not like it was built all the way to the other side, so you’re trapped.

“Give me my fucking phone back (Y/n),” he growls. You shake your head.

Just as you deleted where every trace of those pictures you can guess were saved, he’s lunging towards you. And you do the only thing you can think of— kick him in the groin. He falls to his knees right after a curse leaves his lips, crumpling into a ball as he holds that area.

You gasp. “Oh I’m so sorry, you can have your phone back now.” You purposely place the phone near the edge of the dock where he lays and walk away. His hand reaches out for it but, not surprisingly, it falls in the water. “You fuckin’ crazy bitch!” He all but screams, fist hitting the wood of the dock. You roll your eyes and pick your bag up from the picnic table before heading to class.

…

Lisa doesn’t ask you what you did when she came to your dorm in the late afternoon. (It was just you and her, no Krystal).

You shake your head. “I can’t stay in this dorm anymore, Lisa. I was lucky to come back and see my things still intact but she’ll make my life a living hell if I stay, I know it.”

Lisa bites her lip as she looks elsewhere, presumingly thinking. “Well. I have a friend who doesn’t have a roommate right now. She hasn’t for a while, somehow,” you raise a brow, interested. “If you ask me, I think the school gives her extra attention but she denies it every time. She even has one of the big dorms with a kitchen and bathroom, and she turned the extra space into a living room.” Lisa laughs.

“So you think she might let me move in?” You ask hopefully.

“We’re talking about Roseanne here,” she muses. Lisa watches your eyes grow wide, recognition highlighting your features.

You melt into the beanbag chair lazily, looking at the ceiling. “Roseanne is really nice,” you start, and Lisa nods. “But I’m sure she likes her privacy. And me? I’m nosey as hell and loud— unintentionally. What if she thinks I’m annoying? Or what if she remembers how I acted Freshman year and immediately says no? What if she thinks I’m some mean bitch?” You groan, every good trait of yours you can think of is canceled by a bad one.

“Hey,” Lisa raises an eyebrow at you. “Don’t write yourself off yet, you never know. I don’t believe she thinks that either.”

“How do you know?” You question.

Lisa throws her hands up, smiling teasingly. “I don’t, but my words still stand.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You’re about an hour into a movie when Lisa move’s suddenly. “Shoot,” she says, looking at her watch. “I have to go out for dinner with some of the dance majors, but I’ll bring the roommate thing up to her tomorrow and we’ll see what happens, okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks Lisa.” You hug her goodbye and then with a click of the door she’s gone.

***

True to her words, Lisa seeks out Roseanne in a free time period they share. She had traveled from the new arts building to the old arts building, and hoped to find her there. (A part of her hopes she wasn’t in that creepy building.)

The building’s lights still worked, but there was no one using the classrooms, so dust and spiders made them their homes. You had to have a key to get in the main door, and only one person had it. Lisa walked down the long hallways, jumping at little noises or shadows (including her own), and looking around wearily. Lisa knew Roseanne was slightly odd, maybe that’s why she’s able to be alone in an empty abandoned building.

Further down, she hears it, and makes her way to the soft melody that escapes from a familiar battered oak door. Lisa pokes her head in, and just as she suspected, she was there.

“Why is it that I always find you hiding in here?” Lisa muses as she squeezes past the door frame, blowing out a puff of air. That door only opens so much, and she thinks she might have skinned her knee on the lower hinge. (That’s gonna burn in the shower later…)

Slender fingers once gliding across ivory keys halt their movements. Roseanne rests her hands in her lap and turns to her friend with a smile. “Who said I was hiding? And what if I like being holed up in here?”

Lisa rolled her eyes playfully. “You know what I mean and I know you like being holed up in here.” Looking around, she spoke again, “I see you cleaned up some more and moved things around.”

The room was an old music classroom that was abandoned when classes were moved to a newer building, the old equipment stayed. It was a small room but now that Roseanne had moved and stacked up the old music stands and chairs, it was spacious. The curtains were open and the sun shone through, enhancing the satisfying rustic look of the room. She had to have also dusted and swept the floors since Lisa didn’t sneeze immediately upon walking in. “It looks nice.”

Roseanne hummed, eyes flickering across the painted vines and colorful roses on the piano’s surfaces. “Thank you. But you never come back here without very good reason to, what’s up?”

Lisa shrugged and sat herself on the windowsill. That was true, Lisa doesn’t do spiders, spiderwebs, dust, or creepy, mostly empty hallways. “I missed you, that’s one thing.” Roseanne was in Melbourne on vacation, so they haven’t seen each other since break.

Roseanne’s expression shifted into one of amusement. “I missed you too Lisa. It’s good to be back,” her fingers began picking idly at the piano's edge. “But what else brings you over? I can tell you want to ask me something.”

“Ah, do you remember (Y/n)?” Roseanne nods. “Well, the relationship between her and her current roommate is sour— it’s always been sour if you ask me, so she wants to move dorms.”

“And?”

“I told her that you don’t have a roommate...”

Roseanne knew what Lisa was implying already yet asked her to continue as she found amusement in Lisa’s nervousness. “And would ask if you’d consider letting her move in. But it’s totally okay if she can’t, she knows you like having the privacy.”

Roseanne let out a heavy breath and leaned against the piano, running a hand through her hair as she thought.

Other than some factors, she doesn’t see why she would deny. If she agrees, it would save you the time of being put on a waitlist with the other students who want to move dorms. It could be fun to have a roomate again, she thinks. It’s not like you’re total strangers either, both friends of a friend, Lisa being the link between.

“Okay.” She says.

“Okay?” Lisa repeats.

“I won’t say yes till I talk with her.” Roseanne runs her fingers across the small dips in the piano keys. She’ll have to lay down some groundwork and ask you some questions. The worst thing she wants to do is let someone nasty into her dorm— not that you are…hopefully.

“Oh! We can arrange that, um when did you want to meet up? I can tell her,” Lisa looks happy.

“Tomorrow is fine.”

“Alright then, thank you for considering this.” Roseanne nods and Lisa stands up. “I’ll head back for dance class now,” she says, “Stay safe okay? Watch out for ghosts too— I swear I’m hearing things.” Lisa shivers.

“I will Lisa,” she cocks her head to the side, “don’t get scared walking back.” Roseanne’s teasing earns her an eye roll.

“Yeah, yeah.” After Lisa slips out the room, she waits a few seconds to see if Lisa will come back; she does. Lisa pops her head back through the door and yells, “if you get a call in a few minutes you better answer it!” Lisa may need to call her if she gets scared walking through the hallways.Then she is gone.

Chuckling under her breath, Roseanne scoots back to the edge of the bench, her back straight with her arms relaxed and in front of her, before resuming to play. An upbeat song, she began with and played, before the music slowed to something soft and melancholic, and Roseanne closed her eyes at the sound, allowing herself to be drawn into the world of the music. These keys— any piano keys really— to her, were like a past memory. Something she can fall back on whenever her thoughts get the best of her.

And tomorrow, she’d have to meet up with you.

-

Would you like to continue?

-

Another A/n: Y’all don’t know the hell I went through italicizing words. Like why doesn’t tumblr do that for me? Why don’t you transfer exactly what I write on a google doc here? (😭)

[elbarkla]

Check it out everyone, 3 years of art progress! And I wrote a guide for beginners! 😊

Hi! I’m Laura, age 31. I’ve always drawn occasionally, but never really stuck with it. Frankly it stressed me out. I’d draw for a month, then cry a bunch, then quit for a couple more years. But this time I turned it into a habit somehow. I’ve been drawing near-daily since Feb ‘21 and my life is better for it. Art’s a huge part of me now; it affects how I spend my time, how I express myself, and how I see the world. I feel like a happier, more complete human being.

So here’s what worked for me. This is a guide for hobbyists (I don’t have commercial ambitions) and it may or may not work for you. But I hope you can learn something from it regardless. Without further ado, my thesis:

 ~ Laura’s Steps for Drawing A Lot and Hopefully Getting Better ~

 1 – Manage Your Health 

Know what’s bad for your art? Depression! Glad I got around to treating mine. But for real, if you lack self-confidence you might want to check your mental health. It isn’t the sole factor but it can rapidly overtake the others. Every day I see a post like “how do I improve, every time I try to draw I’m overwhelmed with thoughts I’m bad at everything and a burden to the people around me”. That’s relatable but not a healthy way to see yourself. Low self-esteem can be treated. Please consider talking to someone - you’re a wonderful, lovable person and deserve a happy life.

Also, try to get plenty of sleep and eat regular meals; it helps with everything. Exercise is worth a shot too. Going for walks is good for your mind and body. Yes it’s boring, but boredom gives you space to imagine things.

 #2 – Make It Fun

You’re taking this too seriously. Yes, you. It’s just a hobby. Take the pressure off. Have fun.

What does that mean? It means you need to make art approachable. It has to be a comfort hobby you’re naturally drawn to. That means killing all thoughts of what you SHOULD do. If it makes you want to draw, go for it. Anime characters? Pretty ladies? Fanart? Furries? Doodles from imagination? Zentangles? Pencils? Digital? Do it. If drawing the “right way” burns you out, draw things the wrong way instead. You know who draws a lot? Children. You know who doesn’t draw super well? Children. Have that mindset. Draw like a child. Don’t compare yourself to others; just enjoy the process of creating something. You had that ability once and I know you can reacquire it.

 Intimidated by an empty sketchbook? Don’t wanna ruin a white page? That’s OK; find something you don’t mind ruining. Grab a half-used notebook and a ballpoint pen. You EXPECT those to look horrendous. If you can have fun filling that notebook, you can have fun drawing regularly, and if you draw regularly you can slowly improve your art. It happened to me. I went from rarely drawing to wanting to do it every day. I still sketch in ballpoint now; it’s fun and comfortable.

Also, if drawing’s NOT fun? That’s OK too! There’s loads of ways to express creativity; go do do one of those. For me it was The Sims 3, then knitting, then drawing. Find something accessible and build your confidence up. The world needs bonsai trees and Minecraft castles just as much as drawings. <3

#3 – Seek Instruction

You’ve made drawing a habit, congratulations! You’ve probably learned heaps already; it’s natural to work out techniques as you go. But deducing art wisdom from scratch isn’t super efficient. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel when you can learn so much from others.

You can do a paid course (great way to meet people), but you don’t have to. All the information’s free on the internet! Teachers will cover the same things in different ways or from different perspectives. There’s no exclusive knowledge; the more you study, the more overlap you’ll notice. It all comes together for a more complete understanding of fundamental concepts.

Here’s some of my favourite resources (currently all available free online)(except the Winslow one which was taken down, boo):

  r/artfundamentals, ie. drawabox.com . A great starter course on how to hold a pen, draw lines, build forms and so on. You can follow structured lessons or just practice whatever you need to.

How to Draw: Drawing and Sketching Objects and Environments from Your Imagination, by Scott Robertson. This book’s the gold standard on perspective and great for technical thinkers. It gets VERY advanced but there’s basic stuff to learn from as well. If the textbook intimidates you, try this excellent video playlist by Dan Beardshaw. He walks you through the same concepts in a simple approachable manner. Vital information if you want your work to look 3D.

anything by Andrew Loomis. He’s an icon for a reason; the Loomis head is a standard art tool to this day. I also enjoy the anachronistic career advice (“all advertisers will pay for a well-drawn head” or whatever it was). Here’s the ones I’ve read and enjoyed:

Fun with a Pencil

Figure Drawing for All It’s Worth

Drawing The Head and Hands

Creative Illustration (my current fave, great for composition)

Classic Human Anatomy in Motion, by Valerie L. Winslow. Hot take – people who say “learn anatomy” to beginners are idiots. SO MANY fundamentals come before anatomy if you wanna draw good-looking characters. You’ll get better results studying proportion, form, gesture, shapes and composition first. But if/when you want to learn bones and muscles, this is the book for you! It’s probably overkill, but I loved the breakdown of facial muscles and how they create expression. Top-tier reaction image material.

Proko!! Fabulous Youtube channel. Not only is Stan a great teacher, he invites on other artists too. Just go to his search bar and plug in a keyword; you’ll always find something helpful. I recommend his channel if you want to draw humans (loads of gesture, forms, proportion, anatomy etc.), but there’s a video or two on everything. Some of my other favourite videos:

Mind-Blowing Realistic Shading Tricks. Simple effective intro to light and shadow, I still go back and learn from it.

How to Draw Dynamic Shapes – FORCE Series Part 3. So compelling I bought the book afterwards. Blew my mind, instantly improved all my shapes and in turn my composition and gesture.

Painting Skin Tones and How Light Affects Color. Marco Bucci’s a genius with colours, he explains value and saturation in such fascinating ways.

Digital Shape Carving with Scott Flanders – good companion to the shading video above, teaches dramatic silhouettes and cel-shading within a really interesting workflow.

Google. Any question. Throw it in. Someone’s made a video or reddit post about it. You’d be surprised! I swear, the number of times I’ve typed “composition tips” or “digital watercolour clip studio paint” or “how draw horse head”.

Remember, take it easy. Don’t burn yourself out. Back off if you feel the tears creeping in. Study should supplement your drawings, not replace them. If in doubt, revert to step 2 – “bad” art is better than no art.

4– Study Life

If you did step 3 you’re way ahead of me on this one. USE REFERENCES. Draw things from photos (or real life if possible). Fill your brain with visual information. Here’s a thread I made for sharing references of humans.

What if you prefer to draw from imagination? That’s fine – try a hybrid approach. Doodle whatever comes to you, then look up references and try again. For example I’ll doodle a bear, then draw from photos of bears, then doodle new bears using the things I learned. It’s fun and also a good way to test your knowledge. You may also enjoy combining different references; eg drawing animal fusions, combining poses with an outfits etc. It gets easier to do the more you practice.

Between art pieces I keep a balance between drawing from imagination, drawing from reference, following art lessons, and studying other artists. Speaking of which –

5 – Study Art

Ever heard “Don’t draw anime until you’ve learned anatomy?” or “Learn the rules before you break them?” I strongly disagree with both of those statements. Fundamentals are great but there’s never a point you stop learning them, and studying life won’t teach you how to stylise. That’s why you also need to learn from your favourite artworks. This gets easier/more efficient as you build your broader art skills, but you can learn styles at any point of your art journey (see – step 2). In fact, it makes study more enjoyable, since stylised art can look better and feel more “you”. You already know what you want to create– why not start now?

Let’s take anime as an example. That’s a huge genre with loads of variation. So, what’s your personal taste? Round and cute, or sharp and serious? Choose your favourite shows and study how they do it. Observe their lines, shapes and proportions. Then try it yourself. Make fanart. Not only is replication good art practice in general, it’ll teach you a bunch of new tricks. For original work, pull from loads of sources, the more diverse the better. Work in your love for Silver Age comics or medieval tapestries or German expressionism. The more places you learn from, the more unique and personal your style will be. Your art becomes a visual scrapbook of all the artists you love. I think that’s beautiful. <3

 6 – Find Community

Art friends! Best thing ever. You can bond over your shared obsession, commiserate over tough parts, and learn about art together. A lot of my drawings are in-jokes exchanged with my BFF. I’ve known them from childhood (lucky) but apparently adults can make friends too. Fandom spaces are great for this; many Discord channels have a dedicated artists’ zone. You can also try r/sketchdaily or challenges like Mermay/Inktober if you want a sense of community.

If you don’t have art friends (yet), that’s OK; parasocial works too! I like watching “Draw With Me” content on Youtube. It’s great to put on while you’re creating, especially when you don’t have the energy for something educational. Not only is it inspiring, you can learn tips and tricks along the way. And of course, you can never go wrong with Bob Ross.

 7 – Be Interesting

The very first step was to manage your health. In a way, we’ve looped back to the beginning.  Because no matter what you do, art begins and ends with who you are. You can practice fundamentals 12 hours a day but if you never live your life, you’ll never make interesting art. No one cares for artists whose only character trait is how hard they grind. So go be the most vibrant version of yourself. Take up weird hobbies. Make weird friends. Seek new experiences. Question the beliefs you grew up with. Read books for a while instead of drawing. Develop your principles. Embrace what makes you different. Survive the worst year of your life somehow. Learn what makes you thrive. Your art won’t be for everyone. But it WILL mean the world to some. And to me, that’s the whole point of doing this. Good luck, fellow artist. The world is your adventure yet to come. I believe in you. <3

[colorsoundoblivion]

Trying to raise some funds to cover domain/hosting costs for the 2024/2025 year (my renewal comes up this October). Goal is $200 USD. Anything helps.

Every LGBTQIA+ spot I found myself in was the same… I mean, if Diva Worship and fashion is your thing, that’s perfectly fine… I was looking for the queers who made noise tapes, liked weird shit, appreciated Joel-Peter Witkin for the art and not the shock. All the Industrial/Noise communities I found were littered with edgelords (with some “cool” people sprinkled in if you’re lucky)… I was hoping to find people who were exorcising their demons through their music, not people trying to abuse others with it.

I started FANE because I couldn’t find it elsewhere. We’re just starting, only 2 issues out with a 3rd in production, but I genuinely feel we’ve got something special here and I desperately need help to make it grow. I’ll save you the long winded version of the story: Anxiety, Depression, SI for decades lead to breakdown, job loss, and lack of income. Waiting lists, doctor visits, Adult ADHD diagnosis with possible Autism, getting the right medications, making slow improvements. Haven’t had income or been able to hold a “real” job now for 5 years. I don’t qualify for any kind of financial assistance or disability. I don’t know why I have the energy and drive for FANE when sometimes I can’t muster enough drive to answer a phone call, or return a text message. Well, it’s called mental illness for a reason I suppose.

I’m not begging you to give me a cozy life, pay all my bills, hook me up with the latest recording gear and tech, etc. I know we’re all struggling and the cost of everything has skyrocketed. If you’ve got a couple bucks to spare to make sure that a $200 yearly bill doesn’t kill FANE, it would be greatly appreciated. I will always provide FREE PDF versions of every FANE issue, special report, or any other such FANE related publication. Again, literally anything helps.

I truly appreciate all of you, and sorry for the virtual solicitation.

-Rob

[penny-weiss]

RWBY Parallels V5, V8, and V9

Ruby’s hand-to-hand combat.

V5E3: Ozpin, “Getting you four in fighting shape… (points to Ruby) You can only fight so long as you have Crescent Rose, but you’re still lacking in hand-to-hand combat.”

V8E14: Ruby loses Crescent Rose. While she had some coaching from Ozpin in volume 5 and tries to engage in hand-to-hand combat against Neo in volume 8, it’s clear she heavily relied upon her weapon. I expect in volume 9, we will start to see her branch out of her comfort zone to other styles of combat. I hope Yang is going to coach her a bit more in the art of hand-to-hand.

Ruby is purity.

V5E5: Blake, “Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself, ‘They are the personification of this word’? …I remember getting to know Ruby and thinking, ‘This girl is the embodiment of purity.’ After a while, I saw Weiss was defiance. And Yang was strength.”

V9: The quote from season 5 about Ruby being purity reminded me of the poem Child of the pure unclouded brow from Alice in Wonderland that speaks of losing one’s sunny face and silver laughter. Ruby's purity and silver eyes may be why she is tied to the weather in this version of Wonderland. The last stanza of the poem especially stood out to me. 

And though the shadow of a sigh May tremble through the story, For ‘happy summer days’ gone by, And vanish’d summer glory – It shall not touch with breath of bale The pleasance of our fairy-tale.

How do you handle all of this?

V5E5: 

Oscar to Ruby, “How do you handle all of this? …How can you be so confident? People have tried to kill you. The world’s about to go to war all over again. How are you okay with any of this?”

Ruby to Oscar, “When Beacon fell, I lost two of my friends: Penny Pollendina and Pyrrha Nickos. I didn’t know them for very long but that doesn’t change the fact they were two of the most kind-hearted people I’d ever met. But that didn’t save them. Pyrrha thought if there was even the smallest chance of helping someone that it was a chance worth taking, and because of that, she died fighting a battle she knew she couldn’t win. And Penny was killed just to make a statement… I am scared but not just for me. What happened at Beacon shows Salem doesn’t care if you’re standing against her or not. She’ll kill anybody, and that scares me most of all. Pyrrha, Penny, I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt, that I didn’t think about them every day since I lost them, that I didn’t wish I had spent more time with them. If it had been me instead, I know they would have kept fighting too, no matter how dangerous it was. So that’s what I choose to do: to keep moving forward."

V8E14: Penny is still fighting even after Ruby and Blake fell. 

V9 Intro: While Ruby could still keep a positive outlook in Volume 5 after the initial loss of Penny, I can't imagine Ruby keeping the same outlook in Volume 9 after round 2 of losing Penny.

Think back to Beacon

V5E7: Ren, “That desire to go back and tell yourself not to be so stupid. That just proves you’re not the person you used to be. You’re smarter or kinder or stronger, and you’re not done growing yet.”

V9 Trailer: “What are you going to be?”

In Alice in Wonderland, Alice says, "Mabel, I’ll stay down here! It’ll be no use they're putting their heads down and saying ‘Come up again, dear!’ I shall only look up and say ‘Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I’ll come up: if not, I’ll stay down here till I’m somebody else’—but, oh dear!” cried Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, “I do wish they would put their heads down! I am so very tired of being all alone here!”

I think Ruby's younger self speaking to her older self is meant to mirror the conversations Alice has about who she is and who she will become.

If Ruby sticks around…

V5E7: Yang, “If Ruby sticks around, then I will too. If there’s one thing I know about her, it’s that she somehow always knows the right thing to do.”

V9 Trailer: Unknown voice (though it sounded similar to Salem to me), “You never were the hero... You seem to be carrying a rather large burden with you. What if you could leave Ruby Rose behind, shed like an old coat? What might happen if you don’t?"

Will the team have to face this question? What growth will Ruby have to go through to keep fighting and to continue being a leader?

I'm still rewatching the other seasons, but I found some of these moments interesting to compare, and I am excited to see Ruby's growth especially!

[usergreenpixel]

MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 18: EL ENCARGO DEL MAESTRO GOYA (2021)

1. The Introduction

Hello, my dear Neighbors! I’m finally back with a freshly made review in tow!

So, this particular book (available on Amazon and ebook websites but only in Spanish) first came to my attention me due to my interest in Napoleonic era and, as of recently, Francisco Goya’s works. Naturally, this book caught my attention right off the bat because it’s a fucking jackpot!

Okay, Goya is actually a fairly minor character but he has an extremely important role in the story. More on that later!

(Also, tomorrow I will reblog this review to add my song because I’m having headaches today… Those bitches are bothering me again)

Anyway, I loved this book even more than I expected I would, so let’s analyze it to the best of my ability! This review is dedicated to @that-enragee . Enjoy!

2. The Summary

This novel tells a story of three siblings - Mercedes, Salvador and Marta. They are on the way to the city of Santander in order to receive their late aunt’s inheritance. However, another reason for the journey is a task given to Marta by her mentor, Goya. She must make a copy of a painting so that the French don’t loot the real thing.

3. The Story

Surprisingly, I enjoyed the romantic subplots! And that’s really rare for me. But here the subplots are written MASTERFULLY and progress naturally. Yes, there’s more than one romantic subplot. In fact, there’s two (both Mercedes and Marta find love).

I also appreciate the lack of a villain in the story. The take on events is very nuanced and awful people are shown to exist on all sides, so the take is more or less objective, not unlike Goya’s etchings with the theme of war. This nuance makes the story that much more enjoyable.

The pacing is also very good, but sometimes there are annoying flashbacks. Luckily, those are not extensive.

On a slightly darker note, props to the author for killing off some of the characters and making it stick. I know it’s a war story, but some writers don’t have the balls to include this degree of realism.

4. The Characters

Since the narrative takes place away from the frontlines, we don’t really have historical figures as major characters. Even Goya is a minor character in the book and he only appears properly in the end.

I actually liked his portrayal because he truly doesn’t want the French to loot precious artworks but also has an agenda. See, the painting Marta is to forge is a depiction of Santa Casilda by Zurbarán (a painting that actually WAS stolen during the war historically).

This is important because, according to rumors, praying to this particular depiction can cure ailments, including permanent deafness. Since Goya went deaf due to an illness at around 45 years of age, he believes that this painting is his last hope to get his hearing back.

Although I am aware of the ableist implications of the trope of a disabled person seeking a “cure”, it’s important to note that the world back then wasn’t accommodating to the disabled at all and views ranged from them being innocent at best to burdens at worst. Besides, Goya historically would always portray the disabled as helpless in his art, so it’s safe to assume that he internalized the views of the time period.

(Spoiler alert: No worries, dear disabled readers, the author doesn’t pull a magical cure out of her ass and disabled characters stay disabled.)

Goya is also supportive and proud of his pupil, Marta, which is the sweetest thing ever, so we get to see that he truly cares about her.

Speaking of disability, we also have another deaf character, Marta. As one of the main characters, she is naturally explored in more depth than Goya and we get to see her realistic struggle with her own deafness. Unlike Goya, she was born deaf and therefore doesn’t speak, instead communicating with some signs and writing.

She starts out seeking this alleged cure too, but mostly because she is done with being coddled and treated like a child by her siblings, especially Mercedes. She is naïve and somewhat innocent due to being very young (19ish), but she is also kind, brave, compassionate and a bit mischievous, using her painting skills to help pull a prank at one point.

She also embraces her deafness as the story progresses, finds a man who loves her the way she is and learns to respect her as her own person and not the innocent deaf girl she’s assumed to be. There’s a lot of depth and nuance to her character, and I truly appreciate it.

Mercedes, the other protagonist and the oldest sibling in her family is motherly and protective to the point of coddling Marta and being understandably angry that Goya got her involved in a dangerous mission for the sake of some fake “cure”. Mercedes is also a widow and and more cynical than her siblings, but mellows out over the course of her story.

As an older sister myself, I can definitely relate to her wanting to protect her siblings so I enjoyed her character too. I also think that making her a widow instead of an ingenue is a somewhat bold choice for a romantic subplot, but it definitely suits her and gives additional context to her character.

Claude Cornulier, a soldier sent to Santander to try and curb the atrocities, is sweet and a philosopher. He also understands that war is hell and expresses true empathy towards Spanish people. He also falls for Mercedes but never forces her into a relationship. Instead, he is a true gentleman and treats her with the utmost respect so their romance is healthy and entirely consensual.

Then there is Lieutenant Alfonso Bustamante, a fairly young but retired soldier from the Spanish Navy who feels insecure about having scars and only one eye. His health is in the shit as well, but we later learn that he helps local guerillas and has a ring of informants in the area, so he too fights for his country in whatever way he can.

Bustamante is also a gentleman and forms a friendship with Mercedes while also, eventually, falling for Marta. Although he does make the mistake of coddling her somewhat, he eventually realizes that it’s not the best approach and cuts it out, leading to a healthy relationship.

Salvador is a passionate young man who is also fiercely protective of his sisters, as the only living family member.

At one point the painter David is namedropped in the book and the French troops also joke about Soult looting too many paintings, but those two don’t appear in person.

5. The Setting

The descriptions are wonderful and not too long, thank goodness. I really liked them and they helped me become immersed into the story.

6. The Writing

Reading in Spanish was a challenge at times, but I like the style. It has a nice flow, doesn’t feel inappropriately modern and is fairly easy to read for those fluent in Spanish.

7. The Conclusion

Overall, an excellent book that really captured my imagination and attention! If you are fluent in Spanish, I can’t recommend it enough.

Either way, this concludes the 18th soirée at the Malmaison Media Salon.

Stay tuned for future reviews and tomorrow’s reblog with the song, everyone!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

[fattybattysblog]

Friend, Please (Chapter 9)

Fandom: Kirby/Kirby Right Back At Ya!

Gen | Teen

Characters: Meta Knight, Dark Meta Knight, Velka | Arcta Knight (OC)

Summary: They should be used to desperate people making horrible decisions by now, but somehow it always goes too far before anyone does anything about it. A person fell prey to the empty promises of dark, powerful hearts to become Arcta Knight. As they make their mark on Dreamland, Meta Knight grows anxious about the encroaching danger and leaves suddenly to prepare for a duel like no other.

AO3 | SqWA | Quotev

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, Swordfighting, Original Villain Character, Gijinka Kirby Characters

@ocappreciationtag

(Cover art done by Dean, edited together by me)

Sailing the Stars

Preparations for the Lor were swift. The group hastily gathered all available supplies from the castle—food, medicine, weapons, and more—ensuring they were well-equipped for whatever lay ahead. Magolor wasted no time in piloting the ship out of the atmosphere.

Despite the lack of incoming signals, Magolor persisted in his search for the Halberd, clinging to a sliver of hope amidst the uncertainty that a sign was out there somewhere that could lead the ships to each other.

Meta Knight stood silently behind Magolor, his gaze fixed on the screen as Popstar gradually receded into the distance, eventually obscured by a cascade of error-ridden windows. His heart sunk, weighing heavily in his gut. Without a word, he turned away from the helm room, leaving the others behind as he retreated into the depths of the ship.

“Are you planning on keeping your injury secret?” Dark Meta Knight asked with a sharp look. Meta leaned against the wall, not facing Dark as he addressed him.

“It’ll heal. They needn’t worry.”

“And if it doesn’t? What use will you be?” he huffed, arms folded in a clear show of his annoyance. Meta shook his head and pushed away from the wall, wandering further down the hall.

“I can handle it myself.”

Dark's armor clanked noisily as he trailed behind Meta, a string of angry curses escaping his lips. Meta didn’t have the energy to tell him off or send him away. He was followed all the way to a quiet room in the back of the ship where they stored their medical supplies.

“Since you’re following me, are you planning to help?” Meta asked, unlatching his breast plate and setting it aside. Dark folded his arms, pausing in the doorway.

“No.”

“Then leave.”

Meta Knight worked in silence, tending to his wound with practiced efficiency. The pain was constant, gnawing at his nerves with each heavy pang. As he wrapped fresh bandages around the injury, he couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom that lingered in the air.

Dark Meta Knight remained in the doorway, his presence unwelcome and heavy. He refused to do more than watch as Meta dressed his wounds. He seemed lost in his own head. There was a lot of that going around.

“Why didn’t she kill you?” Dark asked. Meta looked over his shoulder and cocked a brow.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“She keeps insisting you know each other. We have some down time. Think,” he huffed and folded his arms, leaning on the door frame. Blunt as always. Meta turned back to his bandages and finished patching himself up. It wasn’t worth telling Dark how many times he had tried to figure out what she was talking about only to come up with nothing. He had no more info about the past than before. Nothing but the familiarity he had since the beginning.

He leaned against the table in the medical bay with his hip and rested a hand on his bandaged stomach.

That fight… he had turned it around in his mind a dozen of times by now. Her cryptic words and the burning in her eyes. The aggressive attack pattern. She was formidable, everything pointed to that fact, but she almost refused to actually strike him. And once she did it was like something stopped her. The fire died in her eyes. But what replaced it, he couldn’t say.

“She’s holding back,” Meta decided finally.

“Mhm. Why?” Dark urged. That was the question hanging over everything. Why. Meta shook his head and removed his helmet, dragging a hand over his face and sighing.

“I don’t know. So we’ll be under-prepared?”

“Don’t guess. We can’t convince ourselves of something just because we have no other answers,” he turned his gaze down the hall, straightening his back against the door frame. Meta raised a brow at him. He had a point, getting complacent with a suggestion would stop them from really figuring it out. Meta dropped his hands in his lap, his dark blue hair falling into his face.

“Do you remember anything?”

Meta Knight lifted his gaze to Dark, the question catching him off guard. He hummed in confusion before Dark clarified.

“Your past… do you remember it at all?”

Meta paused, considering the question carefully. Memories flickered at the edges of his consciousness, elusive and fragmented.

“…Some of it. Some things are more faint than others,” Meta said, carefully choosing his words. There were events he preferred not to dwell on , as well as memories he revisited often. But he never intentionally buried them. Not even the one that haunted him the most.

“You’re avoiding it,” Dark’s accusation halted Meta’s train of thought. He tightened his jaw and frowned, glaring at him.

“I have scoured every inch of my mind; I found nothing of any Arcta Knight,” he insisted.

“Forget the name,” Dark huffed in annoyance. “She’s not a real Knight, right? Then Arcta never existed before. She was someone else once.”

Meta's gaze softened, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his expression.

“You’re caught up in the mask. I think you forgot we’re looking beneath it,” Dark stated as he stepped away from the door frame. "You could do with some rest anyway. Take a nap or something."

Meta nodded silently, acknowledging Dark's suggestion with a faint sense of gratitude. Despite his reluctance to admit it, fatigue weighed heavily upon him, the strain of their investigation taking its toll on both body and mind. Dark departed, leaving Meta alone in the medical bay for a much needed moment of rest.

-----

Hours passed with agonizing slowness, the silence broken only by the hum of the ship's engines and the occasional static crackle of the communication system. Magolor meticulously tapped at the keyboard, his eyes fixed on the monitors in a vigilant search for any sign of the lost ship. Marx had succumbed to sleep during the lengthy wait, while Dark stood at a distance, his gaze flitting disinterestedly over the screens.

Meta's return to the room after his rest brought a furrow to his brow as he surveyed the lack of progress. The monitors displayed nothing but the vast expanse of empty space and the twinkling stars beyond, intensifying the palpable sense of anticipation in the room. Yet, beneath the surface, a growing unease gnawed at Meta, a foreboding whisper in the depths of his mind.

Magolor’s ears twitched anxiously at the long silence. Until, finally, a faint blip appeared on the ship's radar. Magolor's eyes widened in disbelief as he frantically adjusted the controls, his fingers flying over the console with practiced precision.

"I've found it!" Magolor exclaimed, his voice tinged with relief. "The Halberd!"

A surge of adrenaline flooded through Meta as he rushed to Magolor's side, his heart pounding in his chest. The sight of the familiar ship hovering in the distance filled him with a sense of hope and determination. However, as they drew closer, he couldn't ignore the distressing state of the vessel. Its wings hung limply, the mask was marred by deep cracks, and an engine dangled precariously from its housing.

"Let's go," Meta said, his voice firm with resolve. "We must rescue the civilians."

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