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Gai: *strokes Kakashi’s hair lovingly* Kakashi: You know you’re going to ruin my reputation if you keep this up. Gai: Then get off my lap. Kakashi: No.

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Sakumo: Why is Gai crying? Kakashi: He said the only food that would make him cry are onions. Sakumo: And? Kakashi: I threw a watermelon at him.

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Kakashi: (ducks an attack from Gai) Gai:(angrily) Why won't you just stand still? Kakashi: (sneaks up behind Gai and kisses him) Gai: No kisses! We're fighting!

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[looking at Gai, passed out drunk] Tatsumi: Is he alive? Kakashi: What? Of course he is! Mirai: A 5000 years old mummy looks more alive than that. Kakashi: Hey, that's not nice to say. I know he looks like that, but I guarantee you he's fine. And listen, he's my boyfriend, I would know if he's just asleep or– Kakashi: Mirai: Tatsumi: Gai: Kakashi: Kakashi: Lemme go check real quick.

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Asuma: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? Kakashi: Gai and I are like chopsticks actually Kurenai: Cute! Does that mean you two fit together perfectly then? Kakashi: No. It means if you take Evan away from me all I'm good for is stabbing Gai: ... Gai: Kakashi's the little spoon.

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Kakashi: Hey, so, why has everyone been congratulating us today? Gai: They think we're engaged. Kakashi: What. Gai: I got too scared to ask you. So, I just. You know. Skipped that part. Kakashi: You What.

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Gai: I'm so tired of not doing anything. I'm a Shinobi. I want some action. Kakashi: If action is what you're looking for, do me a favor? Go get me a glass of orange juice. Gai: That's not what I meant, but whatever.

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Gai: Hi! Kakashi: That's a slur. Gai: Why is it so hard to be nice to you?

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Gai: Who ate my tempura?!?! I’m about to KI- Kakashi: It was me. Sorry Gai. Gai: Kiss you on the forehead. You really haven’t been eating enough, Rival. *walks away* Kakashi: ...It’s safe to come out now. Genma: Have I mentioned how much I love you? Kakashi: Cut the crap. Pay up. Genma, pulling out $20 and grumbling: Anbu really made you cold.

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Kakashi, looking at his students: Oh no. Gai: What? Kakashi: I think I've developed emotional attachment to a human being again.

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Gai: How are you? Kakashi: How about you? Gai: What? You didn't even answer my question.

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Naruto, pointing to Gai-sensei: What was THAT? Are you guys a thing?! Kakashi: Nonono. Kakashi: No. Kakashi: ...But. Naruto: WHAT!

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Mirai: Sometimes you and Gai-san drive me crazy. Kakashi: You were always crazy. Kakashi: We were just highlighting it.

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Kakashi: I know I push people away, it's just how I am. Gai: Oh hell no. There will be no pushing me away. You push me, I'll grab you and pin you to wall. We're in this together.

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Gai: I love you. Kakashi: I think I may have developed some kind of attachment to you too.

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Gai, collapses on the couch: Fuckkk Tenten, trying to read her book in peace: Do I want to know? Gai: Since you asked so nicely Tenten: I didn’t Gai: Since you asked, I have become sworn enemies with my husband’s summon animals Tenten: Sworn enemies? Gai: That little fucker thinks he can run the house Tenten: It’s just a bunch of puppies Gai: Buy the wrong brand of puppy chow one time and your husband's ninken drink the hateraid

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Dai: I want to be a grandfather and have my own grandkids Dai: *looks at Gai* Unfortunately, my son can't even confess to his love. How tragic Sakumo: Gai loves someone? Gai, tugging Kakashi's sleeve: R-rival, why don't we go play outside, this grown up sounds really boring! Dai: Heh