#i have mental health insurance through my mom!! it should cover therapy!!

[trapper-faggot]

my psych sent me therapist recs and they look great and GOD do i need therapy but also christ hate how most therapists dont work with insurance and how expensive they are

[akw-aka-awkward]

TW: Mentions of Self Harm, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of Slight Physical Abuse. I put TW in front of the paragraphs I felt needed them as well for those of you that want to skip those parts.

Since it’s Autism Acceptance Month I thought I’d share my story with you. I don’t think anyone actually knows all of what I’m about to tell you. It’s gonna be long. Each paragraph will be a different part of my story. You can skip around to whatever part(s) interest you. So, here we go.

When I was a baby my clothes had to be just right. If my clothing, especially my socks, didn’t touch me in the right way I would flip. My mom always said I never cried except for these times. I also slept through the night always. One night I just kept screaming, but only while in the bed. My mom removed everything from the crib but it kept happening. She picked up the mattress and there was a tiny baby sock underneath the mattress. After it was removed I instantly fell asleep. From then on my mom called me Pea, from Princess and the Pea. She didn’t really think anything past that this would be a funny story to tell in the future.

As I got older my parents noticed it wasn’t just my clothes. Everything had to be organized a certain way or it bugged me. My mom would say ‘Just let it go, Sweetie’. But I couldn’t. Some things she accepted. Like how when we went to the store I had to rearrange all the products on the shelves I could see so that everything was aligned and facing the proper way. If something didn’t belong we had to find where it went and put it back. She saw this as just me being quirky and helpful.

Others she had a short fuss about. Like when the radio in the car was to loud and I would scream, cover my ears, and pull my knees up to my chest. She would pull over and pull my hands from my ears saying, ‘Now, you listen to me. This is not how normal people behave. I’ve taught you better than to behave like this. Your scream could have made me crash the car. You have to think about the people around you. If it’s to loud you ask politely for someone to turn it down. Do you understand?’ I never knew why I didn’t react to things “normally” and I adapted as my mom said. I think I just started masking at an early age.

I was always talking and fidgeting in school. My teachers told my parents that I had trouble focusing and refused to participate in nap time. The blankets and mats never felt right and I could never fall asleep. Later I realized my thoughts were just going to fast and I couldn’t focus on trying to sleep. Around the time I was 8 is when my insomnia got really bad. Sometimes I’d go days without sleeping. My dad wanted to take me in to the doctor and see if there was something wrong. I always got good grades though so as far as my mom was concerned my teachers just couldn’t deal with how unique I was.

When I was 11 my grades started to slip. That’s when my mom got concerned. My doctor had his suspicions that I could have an autism spectrum disorder, but he’d been my moms doctor for a long time and knew how she was. He told her he wanted me to get a special kind of hearing test. Luckily with my dads insurance it covered specialists. My mom is deaf and it had made school hard for her so she assumed that must be what was wrong. The specialist did a series of tests. A hearing test, a vision test, a balance test, a memory test, they even hooked me up to all these wires to test my reaction to different stimuli. My mom knew this wasn’t just a special hearing test, but we were already there. It took hours. It was 4 or 6 because we had to take breaks.

A couple weeks later we went back in for the results. The doctor said that I had a very specific type of ADD. It was called Sensory Processing Disorder. The way he explained it to us was that the Autism Spectrum was like a tree. SPD was a neurological condition. It was the mildest form of ADD and ADD was the mildest form of Autism. My mom said that ADD wasn’t real. That it was bad parenting because every kid she knew that had it she would never let their parents watch her kids. She said she was a good parent and there was no way I had that.

The doctor said that my mom was wrong and I had inflammation in every part of my body. Because of that I either had SPD or I had an infection that was eating me alive from the inside. My mom opted to try medications for the possible infection to see if that was the problem. I was on them for over 6 months and nothing changed. My mom accepted the diagnosis after that and they started me on Vyvanse when I was 12. It really helped with my concentration and a little with my sleep which was all my mom was concerned about. So, all was well and good right? Wrong.

TW: Emotional/Physical Abuse. I felt like I had to be the perfect child because I only had an issue concentrating and my sisters had a lot of mental problems. Which they took out on me. My parents never knew the amount of emotional abuse my sisters put me through. I was always really clumsy. My balance was terrible so I was always tripping and falling over. My distance perception was super off so I was always running into things. It made the result of when things did get physical easier to hide. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence, but it did happen enough that I probably should have told my parents what was going on. I thought it was just how siblings were, you know.

My sisters where going through so much and my parents were trying to deal with my sisters stuff. So, I stayed in the background not complaining and being the “good/perfect child”. So I continued to “adapt”. I continued to mimic my mother because she was “normal”. I continued to mask until I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Until the mask was all I was, or in better words all I let myself be.

TW: Self Harm. As the years went on and I actually did research on SPD I realized there was never anything wrong with me. I learned that the way I coped with stimuli I didn’t like was unhealthy, but it worked. So I continued to mask and cope how I always had. The way I coped was with pain. I would scratch myself until I bled because I couldn’t really feel the pain, but I could feel enough that it distracted me. I would hit myself and bang my head into things. When I started to realize I didn’t always have to be perfect I still only let my best friend and my dad know the real me. I never had to do any kind of therapy because that was for people with real issues. And according to my mom I learned how to function properly with mine unlike my sisters. So there was no need. I was healthy and normal as far as my mom was concerned.

After I graduated college and got a job was when I decided to stop all of that. The management at my job was terrible and I couldn’t keep up the bullshit at work and at home I was just to tired. And I was hurting myself so much it was bordering on dangerous. I always had minor dissociation episodes, that my parents called selective hearing. But I was dissociating a lot at work for longer periods of time.

As I was starting to figure out who I was without the mask my mom and I were fighting a lot. She asked what happened to me and why couldn’t I be who I had always been. I said this is who I always was and I was done pretending. And she said if this was the real me then she didn’t like this me very much. After another year I realized that still wasn’t me. I had been masking for so long I still didn’t know who I was.

It’s been a very long and sometimes torturous journey to get to where I am now. But I am now able to be the real me. Me telling this story is in no way me bashing my mom. She loves me very much and was very uneducated at these times. She also had a lot going on with her own and all three of my sisters mental health issues. If I had talked to her or my dad about what was going on things would have gone differently. She didn’t find out any of this until last year.

If you made it this far or even if you skipped through I hope you guys enjoyed my story. Maybe this will even help someone. Who knows. I love you all and as always my DM’s and Ask Box are always open for questions or comments.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

[oopsabird]

I get that ADHD post so much! Im lucky enough to have been diagnosed as a child but had to get re-diagnosed in order to get meds through school. Most places had a 2 YEAR waiting list and i got lucky with an opening but it still cost me $500+ WITH a sliding scale. it's definitely not easy to get diagnosed officially the older you get and everyone should look into their own health and see what mindfulness techniques and options they have to help themselves :)

Exactly, exactly!! This is absolutely about to set off another lengthy ramble from me.

To share a bit of my personal story, diagnosis is not the be-all end-all of treatment! I was diagnosed just at the start of heading into middle school, and honestly because we couldn’t afford to continue with long-term therapy beyond diagnosis, our run-of-the-mill family doctor probably gave my family less tools and information to cope with my disorder than you can find on some of the ADHD resource blogs on this site! I was just kinda put on meds and told I had trouble focusing, and then succeeded academically for six years through a combo of Gifted Kid Shit and pushing myself insanely hard while being filled with buried emotional turmoil and self-loathing, until I reached university and hit a brick wall HARD.

And like, even at that point, I just thought I was regular-brand depressed? The biggest thing my diagnosis did for me back then was that when I went to the school psychologist (which I could only do bc school insurance plan, covered by student loans) and said “I think I’m clinically depressed bc I can’t make myself do anything anymore”, after like 4 sessions and a review of my medical file she said “I think we should consider something: are you depressed because you have diagnosable clinical depression, or are you depressed because your ADHD is going almost completely untreated, and your meds have been the same for 4 years despite massive hormonal changes, and this is leaving you overwhelmed and barely treading water?” “Oh. OH.”

And if she hadn’t had the ADHD diagnosis on paper to reference, I don’t know if she would have reached that conclusion rather than suggesting antidepressants, so it gave me that. But it still took years after that of actually learning about how hugely multifaceted my disorder was beyond just “attention span”, and adjusting meds over and over, and going to a LOT of weekly therapy (including half a year with an ADHD specialist, which I’ll probably do more of next year if insurance coverage allows), for me to actually understand my brain, unpack all the ways I was mistreating it, and start living a mentally healthy life. There’s SO much more to it than diagnosis alone, and a lot of it you don’t necessarily even need a shrink’s stamp saying “YEP, it’s ADHD alright” to start tackling.

Another facet of my journey has been watching my own mother watch me be diagnosed with ADHD, look at the similarities between how she and I process the world, do a little reading online, join a Facebook support group for ADHD adults to learn more, and go “OH! Oh my god, I’ve been living with this my whole life and I had no idea.” Mom can’t afford to get a diagnosis, especially like you said as an older adult, but it is VERY clear and certain that she has ADHD and that it is the source of certain patterns she has noticed all her life and struggled to address or change, but can now start to understand. Aside from talking to me, online community and web resources have been huge for her (and bonding over shared ADHD experiences has been huge for our relationship as adults).

And seriously, I just think you’d have to be a real jerkwad to look at someone like her and say “Sorry, you can’t be a part of this community of people and resources that has helped you make sense of things you struggled with all your life, because they’re only for people who are Officially Diagnosed. 😤” Like, give me a break. Who is that helping?

[healinghomegroup7]

What Husbands Can Do When Their Wives Have Postpartum Depression

When your wife has postpartum depression (PPD), which affects about 1 in 7 women after childbirth, you might feel confused, annoyed, scared, sad, worried or any combination of these. My husband certainly did. You might be thinking, "Why can't she just be happy? What's wrong with her? Aren't new moms supposed to be happy now that the baby's finally here? What's going on?"

Remember that PPD is a biochemical disorder which is no one's fault - not yours or hers. Although you can't fix it like you can a broken cabinet or leaky faucet, it's your job to support her as she recovers. Warning signs of PPD include anxiety, lack of energy, frequent crying, inability to sleep at night even when the baby's sleeping, low self-esteem, guilt feelings, appetite problems, irritability or anger, overwhelmed feelings, forgetfulness, decreased sex drive, and hopelessness. The normal Baby Blues should be gone by two weeks postpartum, so if she's still feeling weepy, she needs help. Or, if the symptoms are more severe than the mild Baby Blues even during the first two weeks, don't wait - get her help right away. You or she should call a healthcare practitioner you trust and ask for a referral to a therapist who specializes in postpartum depression.

Here are some pointers that will help you to help her and your relationship: (Excerpts from Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression by Bennett and Indman)

Just being there with her is doing a great deal.

Letting her know you support her is often all she'll need. Ask her what words she needs to hear for reassurance, and say those words to her often. Things like, "We'll get through this. I'm here for you. I love you very much. You're a great mom. The baby loves you. You'll get yourself back. The PPD is temporary. I'm sorry you're suffering - that must feel awful. This isn't your fault."

Share at-home responsibilities.

Even a non-depressed new mom can't realistically be expected to cook dinner and clean house. She may be guilt-tripping herself about not measuring up to her own expectations and worrying that you'll also be disappointed with her. Remind her that parenting your child(ren) and taking care of your home is also your job, not just hers. Your relationship will emerge from this crisis stronger than ever.

Let her sleep at night.

She needs at least 5 hour of uninterrupted sleep per night to receive a full sleep cycle and restore her biorhythms (Chapter 11 of Postpartum Depression For Dummies* explains in detail how splitting the night can work even if she's breastfeeding or you need to leave the house early for work.) If you want your wife back quicker, be on duty for this time without disturbing her. Many dads have expressed how much closer they are to their children because of nighttime caretaking. If you can't be up at night taking care of your baby, hire someone who can take your place. A temporary baby nurse will be worth her weight in gold.

Get the support you need so you can be there for her.

Often a husband becomes depressed during or after his wife's depression. You can help protect yourself by getting your own support from friends, family, or professionals. Regular exercise or other stress-relieving activity is important, so you can remain the solid support for your wife. Provide a stand-in support person for her while you're gone. o Don't take it personally. Irritability is common with PPD. Don't allow yourself to become a verbal punching bag. It's not healthy for anyone concerned. She feels guilty after saying hurtful things to you and it's not good for her. If you feel you didn't deserve to be snapped at, calmly explain that to her. (Excerpts from Postpartum Depression For Dummies by Bennett)

Back her up in her decision- making.

If your wife needs to see various practitioners, take medication, join a PPD support group, stop breastfeeding, or whatever else, she needs to know you're behind her 100 percent. You can certainly participate in the decision-making process, but the decisions themselves are ultimately hers. It can be helpful for you to accompany her to a therapy or doctor's appointment so you can ask any questions you may have regarding her treatment. As a therapist, I find the partner's attendance useful and I encourage it at least once. My client is always relieved to know that her husband is getting support and now understands more about her situation and the illness. o Don't mention how much her care costs. She's already feeling guilty about what she's costing the family, both emotionally and financially. Without your wife's mental health postpartum, nothing else matters. During PPD recovery, couples may use up savings and take out loans - consider it an investment in launching your new family in a healthy way. Be open to doing (and spending) whatever it takes to get her the right, specialized help, not just whoever is covered by the insurance plan.

Practice the work/life balance.

You've probably read your employee handbook about your company's work/life balance program. Now's the time to make it work for you. Tell your manager what's going on at home, that you need to leave work every evening on time, and that you can't take expended business trips for the foreseeable future. You may see this practice as career suicide, but it isn't. Many of my clients' husbands have taken parental leave, and have made the effort to be at home on time every night during this difficult period. Federal law provides husbands job-protected time off from work following the birth of a baby or to care for a seriously ill spouse. If you're a domestic partner, it depends on the state in which you live whether or not you'll be covered. If necessary, go ahead and move off the corporate fast track to help your partner recover. Your physical presence to her is more important than the next promotion, and years from now, when you look back on your life, you'll never regret having chosen family over work. I hear over and over from my clients that they don't care about the big house (with the big mortgage). They just want their husbands at home. So, if you're thinking that it's for her and your kids that you're working long hours, traveling, and so forth, you may want to ask her what she thinks - you many be surprised.

Maintain intimacy.

As you and your wife walk the road to recovery, it's important to maintain intimacy, even if it's (for now) void of any sexual activity. You may be rolling your eyes with the thought of "just cuddling." After all, what's the point of cuddling if it doesn't lead to anything? But for her, just being close to you and being held by you is comforting and healing. She may also have some physical healing to do following the birth process. Remember not to take her lack of interest in sex personally. This isn't a rejection of you - it's mainly about hormones, brain chemicals, and life changes. If you're the one returning from work at the end of the day, make sure you greet your wife first, before you greet any other member of the family (including the furry, four-legged ones). The relationship with her is the most important one and without it, no other little person would be there (see Chapter 15 for other sex and intimacy issues). Refer to the first bullet for ideas of what to say to your wife that will truly help her.

There are also some clear no-no's to avoid. Here are a few: DO NOT say:

"Think about everything you have to feel happy about." She already knows everything she has to feel happy about. One of the reasons she feels so guilty is that she's depressed despite these things.

"Just relax." This suggestion usually produces the opposite effect! She's already frustrated at not being able to relax in spite of all the coping mechanisms that have worked in the past. Anxiety produces hormones that can cause physical reactions such as increased heart rate, shakiness, and muscle tension. This is not something she can just will away.

"Snap out of it." If she could, she would have already. She wouldn't wish this on anyone. She can't snap out of PPD any easier than she can snap out of the flu. Be patient, non-judgmental, and upbeat. With the right kind of professional help along with your consistent and loving support, your wife will recover and your marriage will likely be stronger than ever.

[xidaer]

Personal Post, 6/28/19

Oh god, the drama.

TL:DR- my poly relationships are dissolving. I’m still with my wife but my former partner and metamour are moving out of the house in August.

Okay so about 2 months ago now my partner broke up with my metamour but nothing seemed to change in how they worked their relationship. My meta has some extreme mental health issues that I accommodated while they were together and generally speaking the two of us were friends and I considered her family. Once they broke up, I assumed my meta would move out and take the more dramatic portions of her life with her. But that didn’t happen/motions weren’t made in that direction even 6 weeks after the ‘break-up’ and eventually I decided I needed to set a boundary that I needed my meta out of the house for my own mental health.

I sent this to my partner about this issue:

The long and the short of it is that I want [my meta] out of the house. She is no longer my metamour and I don't want to consider her family. I understand that she has limited options and funds, but her parents both want her out too and apparently are willing to help her financially. I also understand that you still love her and, concerning your wishes, I've done my best to be supportive of her. Being in the house with her and feeling obligated to be supportive of her is taking a large toll on my mental health. I've gained a lot of perspective on this trip [staying a week with my best friend in another state] and wanted to be clear about how I'm feeling.

So my partner was super upset about this email. She had apparently set up a “couple’s” therapy session my without checking with me in order to help ‘keep the family together’ and said that if my meta left the house, she would follow.

I was incredibly hurt by this, and decided after much deliberation to break up with my partner- a huge decision as she and I had been together for more than 8 years, even though the last 4 had been a more tenuous relationship.

After giving a heads up to the therapist, I broke up with my partner at couple’s counseling, with my ex-meta and my wife present. It went ok. ‘J’ (my former metamour) was mad that I sent the "Get Out" email to my partner instead of her but was otherwise pretty stoic through the session. My partner was upset that I officially broke things off with her and had a super shocked face when I said I planned to buy her out of the house. I was full of self-doubt that I'd done the wrong thing, that I should have given them more time to sort themselves out and that I had ruined everything. In the aftermath, I got reassurance from my wife, my best friend, and then two of our D&D friends came over for support and distraction once I'd calmed down a bit.

My meta had mostly been staying out of the house, either at hotels or now at her mom's, but my wife and I put a lock on our door anyway just to be sure if she got it into her head to be violent towards our property that it's locked up. As I said, mental health issues. My partner discovered the lock today and sent the following message to me:

Having lived at my dad’s house as a teen, where I was not trusted, I know intimately the sound of a bedroom door being locked as someone leaves. And so I must ask, what’s up with that? 

I explained the feelings about my meta, but the way her question was phrased -  instead of just asking what's up with the lock she had to say that she's hurt and doesn't feel trusted- made me feel so guilty and like I have to rescind my boundaries/feelings of safety.

But as my best friend’s wife said when I told her about my feels, “She's lost the privilege of asking those sort of questions” because it isn't her house anymore “and y'all are broken up”

My ex-partner and I have had a couple of conversations since the therapy session (the lock thing, again, being just this morning), but the last in-person conversation is the most note-worthy as it inspired anger instead of more self-doubt and guilt. She explained that when a partner in a poly relationship gives her an ultimatum, which is basically what it was when I stated that I needed my meta out of the house for my happiness and well-being, that she automatically chooses the party that didn't give the ultimatum. She further explained that had my meta, in some alternate universe, done the same and said she needed me out of the house that my ex would have gone with me instead.

When I said I didn't understand- she and my meta had broken up more than a month prior, why was she a consideration? This is where is gets infuriating. My ex explained that she broke up with my meta by ending their romantic and sexual relationship, which put her on an 'even playing field' with me. So yeah, my ex apparently broke up with me in her head ages ago, likely years, and NEVER TOLD ME. 

I didn't get a choice on whether to stay or go at that point, and I just kept treating her like our relationship would eventually deepen again. Up to and including paying off thousands of dollars in her personal credit card debt a year ago and spending my time, energy, and money keeping the 'family' together and as stable as possible with my meta continually rocking the boat. I’d even gotten a second job to help us make ends meet.

My meta has almost always been on a pedestal above me, relationship-wise, and now it's clear to me why. My ex wrote me off as a partner years ago, but still bought a house with me, still acted like I mattered. 

When someone breaks up with me, I leave. I make as clean a break as possible. So now I'm getting to FINALLY do that with my ex.

She's found an apartment but has another month before she moves. We've moved all the bills she covers and insurance into just my name and I'm looking at getting a lawyer to do an assumption of mortgage or somehow getting her off the deed to the house and off the legal hook in terms of house payments.

My wife and I have some friends lined up (the same D&D friends actually) who are looking to move out from their folks place and may end up moving in with us once everything is said and done. 

That's the news for now- Thank you for reading! It makes me feel loved. <3

[weabooweedwitch]

In regards to moving to the EU, I’ve just got back from a four year stint in The Netherlands and while it was pretty expensive (because I couldn’t work for all four years and the housing market is fucked YIPPEE), it is EXTREMELY liveable. The culture shock was mild, you can live comfortably on a McDonalds salary depending on what city you’re paying rent in, and while they kinda do discourage going to the doctor for mental health reasons they’re quick to refer you to specialists and student insurance covers quite a lot. You just have to put up with the Blackface Parade each Christmas

GOD I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER WHICH COUNTRY WAS THE ONE I READ THAT WAS DOING THAT. For some reason I was thinking that happened in Sweden? But God. There was a part of me that was hoping that was just, idk, an internet rumor, like some weird unconfirmed thing that was stopped years ago? How horrible. I, uh, honestly wouldn't even know how to respond to witnessing something like that.

Fuck, but on the other hand, being able to afford anywhere on even a "lower salary" sounds amazing. I dunno if I would be able to tolerate seeing stuff like that uh aforementioned parade though? I'm bad at keeping my mouth shut sometimes and as you guys can see on here, i can be a little defensive/feel like starting fights sometimes

What sucks is that, like, for me to even hypothetically immigrate anywhere id have to have uh like thousands and thousands of dollars at least is what I've been led to believe. And that's IF you get approved through the immigration process? I hear some countries almost uh act like they really don't want you living there unless you're basically like a doctor or something

I just. I dunno? I don't think I would ever be able to afford it realistically, but sometimes I really worry about like for example, what if im still around in like 20 or 30 years and im aging and it's getting harder for me to work but I can't afford to retire or even just take a break? What if I ever need like, knee surgeries in the future? I've literally become terrified of aging and growing older because I know, I know i live in a country where if you don't have any savings to retire on, you work until you die. Jesus Christ one of my coworkers is 66 and they took her food stamps and her health insurance because :oh you're working TOO many hours during this horrible global pandemic!"

Oh, also, I still very much need mental health care, so definitely hearing that part is discouraging too 😥 it's kind of nice to imagine me being able to afford to move my family somewhere, but even I know that's not how it works because all family members have to be approved for immigration, its not like a coupon or anything.. Like. This genuinely keeps me up at night. I know I'm shitty and bitter about my sister but I constantly worry for her safety as a thin attractive young person in this country, and how she can't afford to go the therapy because, oh working too many hours, no state healthcare. I never posted about it but my mom lost her job and like, she has no savings? And student debt? And she's 57? It's getting harder and harder for her to work because she can't do any super physical tasks and she has chronic pain. And I constantly think "oh god my mom isn't going to be able to afford to retire. Oh god, my mom is going to be needing to retire and I won't be making enough money to help support her. What about my sister. Oh God oh god oh god" and I just. I have panic attacks almost every single day. Almost every day.

I just. I want to help my family. I feel like we're all just barely balancing on supporting ourselves and within the next few years everything could just completely collapse. I feel like. I feel like I have to be the one to save my family to try and get us out of here. I just constantly think about, CONSTANTLY , how I should literally just quit my job and kill myself because I don't see the point of working when I see what a lifetime of working got my mother: nothing but debt amd body pains. I just. I dont know if I can have a future here, but if I can't make any money here, how could I ever afford to hope to move elsewhere 🤦‍♀️ I'm just scared all the time. I wish I had actual skills. You know I'm only 25 Nf just for the few years I've been employed, I'm already getting repetitive motion injuries? Fucking working at McDonald's and Wendy's literally damaged my fucking elbows??? And now working at a grocery store is actually very the same and sometimes my entire body hurts after a week of working? It's like.... I'll just stop. I have to get ready for my shift and I'm sitting here starting to bawl my eyes out. I just. I have to keep telling myself I can only take it a day at a time because trying to think about my future upsets me so much

[astonishingly]

how can i tell my parents I need mental health help? Ive gone through a really confusing bad break up and am feeling very alone & down & anxious to the point where it interferes with my life. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when I was 10 &my parents got me help for that, but we haven't come across this since & I feel like now that I'm 21 I'm expected to know how to cope with it. Im embarrassed to admit I'm struggling. We dont have a close relationship so this is hard for me to talk about

hey im so so sorry for putting this off. i didn’t know how to quite answer this. 

i actually was struggling with this myself a bit, but i just now kinda asked my mom and stuff and wanted to tell you how i went about it. so i had to change my primary doctor since i had moved away for college and am now staying here and am unable to go back and forth. with my mental health history, therapy and etc was recommended. i’ve always thought about it as good even if you don’t necessarily need it but also was not going myself. somewhat hypocritical. things have not been going as well since around summer time especially with my depression/anxiety, and i thought i could use this doctor recommendation as a way to bring it up. it has since become fall/winter with daylight savings thing and it getting darker earlier (SAD) i have not been doing so well. i brought it up to my mom today (just me texting is therapy covered under insurance), which our relationship has been strained since the time mentioned as well, because i am still under my parent’s insurance. basically she asked why (do i need a reason??) and i am not that good at communicating so im like i dont know, and she says she will help me when she visits and that my family is there for me basically. i am grateful for this even among other circumstances but wanted to give you my own example of how i went about this.

if it is recommended you could always say so and so recommended and that you should go to your parents. maybe texting, writing a letter, it is not so direct and i definitely felt better texting than saying it over facetime to my mom. you can always talk to doctors about it or anything and maybe they can help mention it to parents. i’m not sure about hippa laws, etc but talking a professional about how you need help and how to go about it could set yourself in the right path. i know it’s hard to make that step, but once you have you will be so grateful you have. however you do, i wish you good luck! i am so sorry for putting this off for a while, and also that this is so long. im always here for you too :) xx

[a-woman-apart]

Old Obsessions

In the spirit of trying to write at least one post a month- and out of a genuine desire to get a few things off my chest- here I am, writing a post.

I will begin with the life update portion of the post. My health has been somewhat imperiled. I won’t go into details on here (yet), but I’m getting some tests done because I’ve been dealing with some pain. I already have trouble getting out of the house because of depression and anxiety, and these problems are being exacerbated by issues of pain and fatigue. Whatever it is, I’m hoping for a diagnosis that A) shows that it’s an actual thing and I’m not just crazy, and B) is an actual thing that is easily treatable. In the coming weeks to one month I should find out what I need to know.

The second thing of note is that at the end of the month I will be returning to the community college where I graduated from to take some CORE classes. Since most of my courses were in music, and I only took a few COREs, I have two semesters worth of classes to take. I am doing this to save money, and to ensure that when I go on to the university in the fall of next year, I will be jumping immediately into undergraduate-level courses. I am in fact taking so many COREs that by the time I am done I will have an Associate of the Arts degree in addition to my Associate in music- all before I even make it to the university. I do have to take physical education to make that happen- a course that wasn’t required by the university- but that is just one extra thing.  

I have “mixed feelings” about returning to school this fall. It is true that I got the whole summer off, for the first time in years, but it still feels so soon to be returning. The thought of being piled on with classwork all over again has brought out feelings of depression and sadness in me. I know that I am following the path that I have set out for myself. My goal is to be college-ready in the fall, but it all feels so overwhelming. I feel excited about the thought of getting another degree in the process of taking all these COREs, but I’ve been in school for 4 years already and I really feel it.

Another discouraging aspect about going to school again is the fact that I probably won’t have the time or energy to get a second job to help pay for my living expenses, unless it’s a side hustle that I can do from home. When I got on SSDI, it meant losing my Medicaid, so I now have $134 taken out of my monthly check to go towards Medicare. In addition to that, I am required to pay $38 a month as a copay for the insurance I get for my mental health visits. That doesn’t sound like a lot of money, but my total income from my job and SSDI is not very much (S/N: I will probably talk to my clinic and see if I still need their insurance now that my Medicare part B has kicked in). Adding almost $200 to my monthly expenses is no joke.

I want to be able to take care of myself. I have always known that I needed to find more hours or better employment. In a way, going to classes again (full-time) is in fact a help to me, because I usually get a Pell Grant refund after my books and classes are paid for. That extra money helps me to put a little in savings and to pay pressing expenses. I’ve always known, though, that I can’t go on depending on those refunds forever. Before I got SSDI, I had SSI, and I was caught between a rock and a hard place where I worked too much to get any meaningful help from them, but too little for the help they did give to cover my expenses. That was the summer that I had to get a second- and for a while a third job- and literally almost killed myself in the process. Later SSI too gave me a huge refund (probably because they had withheld too much from my check) and I used that money for all sorts of things, like paying off my credit card, paying a big portion towards my car note, saving for emergencies and travel, and even giving a bit to charity.

Like I said, though, I want to be able to take care of myself. Whether it’s depending on the Pell Grant or my SSDI, I am still dependent on the government in a huge way. I know the way that my mental health deteriorated when I had my summer jobs was a sign that maybe I’ve been declared disabled for a reason, but I still sometimes feel like I am “not disabled enough” to deserve to still receive services. Without government help, though, I wouldn’t even have insurance for things like my medicine, therapy, and doctor visits, let alone just having enough money to keep my car and stay in my apartment.

When it was just a choice between working and not working, 35-40 hours a week was not a big deal. I worked that plenty of times when I worked in the food industry. I would put in the hours and SSI would give me my check- that had been reduced by around 75%- and together with that and sometimes having food stamps I had a comfortable life. Now that I am a student- and have even more expenses- I just can’t do that anymore. During the summer last year I worked 15 extra hours on the weekend in addition to my 20-hr-a-week library job. I was taking very condensed summer classes as well that took up a huge chunk of my time. My dad was also starting to get sicker that summer and later in the fall someone did a hit-and-run on my vehicle. It is true that today the circumstances would be different. I’ll be doing full-time, but it’s a regular semester. Maybe I could work weekends if I really needed to and if I really tried. The truth is though, that I don’t know if my mental health can withstand that.

Maybe some people can say, “Well, you don’t have to be a student” and that is very true. What is also true is that I may never be able to rise above the poverty line and become self-sufficient if I don’t go to school. Just like working, going to school is an effort to improve my well-being and my contribution to society. The government investing in me now will definitely pay off for them in the future. Even though I now believe that capitalism is bonkers, there is some part of me that takes satisfaction in being able to say that I help feed the economy. Until we have something better and everyone living below the poverty line- not just disabled people like me- gets a basic income from the government, this is the best that we have.

Now I am going to make a total 180 and talk about something that had been the main purpose of this blog when this first started- my religious journey. I think the last time that I wrote a post about where I was with my religion was a couple months ago, when I visited a couple of Universalist Unitarian churches. I haven’t been back since my initial visits, for various reasons, but maybe one is that I am starting to agree with my boyfriend- what I am looking for probably can’t be found inside a church organization.

When my dad passed away in January, I wasn’t angry at God. I had already decided that if there was a Higher Power, it was very possible that said Power didn’t have complete authority to intervene in earthly matters. What it demonstrated to me instead was the failure of the Christian Word of Faith movement and how it sometimes hurts and disappoints its adherents. It didn’t prove to me that miracles never happened, just that they were far less commonplace than evangelists led us to believe and probably explainable using natural terms. It also demonstrated something that is obvious to me but not to many, that people who try to “sell” miracles are misguided at best, or are all liars and charlatans at worst.

I guess that the main reason that I haven’t been writing about it as much is that I’ve just stopped caring. In one post, I mentioned the quote that states that the opposite of love isn’t hate, but apathy. When you hate, you are still giving energy to a person, object, or idea. When you are apathetic, that energy simply isn’t there. This is destructive in its own unique way. Somehow, the ideas of Christianity have lost their place in my life. My family members are all still Christians, but we don’t talk about it. I’ll hear about Girl Defined and shake my head ruefully, but I haven’t put a lot of energy into dismantling their ideas. I’ll skim through my recommendations from Patheos, but no articles jump out at me that I really want to read. I can hear a sermon or see a person preaching on a street corner and feel nothing. I used to want to be able to answer every argument, and I would take aggressive or passionate people stating their beliefs as a personal attack. Now it’s all so blasé to me. “What’s new?” or “Who cares?” are all that I can manage to ask myself in those moments.

In a way, getting here is a personal victory for me. I know that when topics of religion come up, I will always have a point of view to contribute. Crafting that point of view, however, isn’t central to my life anymore. Right now, I am concerned with getting to the next stage in my life. I am about to go to a big university for the first time, and I’m scared. My boyfriend and I have gotten really serious; we want to move in together and share our lives, but we are more than 2000 miles apart and we barely have any money. My youngest brother is preparing to go to college, and my other younger brother is a supervisor at his job. My older brother and my sister-in-law want to build a house on my mom’s property. My little sisters are learning to drive and they want to start working. My mom wants to travel but needs to find some way to get the farm taken care of. We’re all growing older.

Maybe, in saying that, I’m proving the point that it’s important to start thinking about things like “eternity.” To me, it proves the opposite. It takes so much energy just to be focused on the here and now, why waste time planning for an eternity that might not exist? I do know that my dad held on to the hope of eternity until the very end. He burdened himself by worrying that his loved ones might not be able to share it with him. I could never give him the assurance that he needed, but I think he believed that God would make everything right in the end, and I’m happy for him for that. Sometimes it saddens me to think of his way of life dying with him, but ultimately that way of life was not the one that was best for me.

I am turning 28 at the end of next month. Maybe getting older is finally starting to afford me some perspective about the things that really matter. Maybe I will have that zero-fucks-left-to-give attitude that everyone says that you get when you hit 30. All I know is that right now things are looking much clearer to me now. I still feel inadequate as hell, but maybe that never goes away. All I can do is keep moving forward.

[alternativelistening]

***content warning: super long venting post, mention of child molestation, homophobia, emotional abuse, child abuse, potential sad feels***

you don’t have to read. just another livejournal type diary post on the internets.

Things seem like they’re getting better with my family. I’m trying to not have expectations for anything more than what I’m seeing right now like I was taught in therapy. But something happened recently that triggered some feelings and memories.

For context: I have four younger siblings. My first sister is one of the people who contributed to my declining mental health, and I know I’m part of her traumas too. I own that I lashed out at her when I was young and badly dealing with my own abuse. Even though I was hurt, I was also wrong. And I’ve actively worked on it. I notice that she’s grown a lot too. But I don’t expect her to own this nor do I deserve to feel that she needs to. What has always bothered me the most with her was that she’s always taken my mom’s side on things. She won’t believe the things my mom said and did to me. And she always excused my mom for the things that she witnessed herself. I mean, no parent is perfect. They’re human too. But both my parents had a large part in how fucked up I am. It’s just not fair to blame a child for their own abuse. I was constantly insulted, humiliated, and invalidated every moment I tried to open to her. So much so that I had to cut her out of my life for some time. But this year, my sister and I are finally somewhat getting along.

My sister did finally admit on Monday that while not everything can be our mom’s fault, it’s impossible for her to not have a large impact on me. I appreciated that she can say that much at least. Time with her has been okay. We text each other every now and then. I want us to continue getting along. But the other day, during one of the game nights I hosted, she announced to the room that I used to cut myself while sharing a story about our childhood. She probably doesn’t remember because of the way it slipped out after she had a Soft Parade and a couple glasses of wine. I’ll paraphrase what she said.

“Yeah, our childhood was really wild. Like we actually practiced drills whenever there was a sign of our parents getting angry. Hannah would time us and we would all practice running into our rooms and find good hiding spots. So we were usually ready for whatever was coming. 

We’ve grown a lot. Became better for it. And Hannah used to be so terrible too. [I verbally agreed with my sister here and let her continue speaking after giving a couple examples of my awfulness to the room] It’s ridiculous. I was always the perfect child. I never got into trouble. I usually had straight As, like the first in our family to get straight As. But who did my mom buy clothes for? Who got an iPod? Hannah did. She cut herself and got an iPod and mall trips. I worked really hard and got hand me downs every once in a while.”

The listeners in the room were stunned for a moment, me especially. But she continued with bittersweet stories of our childhood as if nothing was wrong. We all moved on and focused on the board games.

I don’t think she did it with malice. I want to believe she wasn’t trying to hurt me. I think it was an accident. And maybe most of the people there already knew this about me. It just really hurt me that it came up so casually (and inaccurately). Her complaints and feelings were completely valid. I agree. It wasn’t fair that she didn’t get more from our parents. I always knew she was a little jealous and bitter about this. She eventually learned that different kids have different needs. I still sympathize with her. But as flawed as my mom was, she wanted to at least try to give me reasons to live and do better in school. My mom didn’t understand mental healthcare. She had no knowledge in emotional labor. She just had money. Could she have done better? Absolutely. Like not pressure me to lie during one of my psych evaluations and let me actually get the help I needed when I was 15. And you know, just be kinder and more supportive. But still, I can understand and appreciate that she tried in her own way.

It just seems so reductive and callous to frame my cutting as some cry for attention or for materialistic gain. My whole life my mom would tell people that to avoid any accountability. Clearly she sold it to my siblings pretty well. And it’s not fair. I already had too much attention. I didn’t need more. I constantly wished for less. Cutting myself just felt really fucking good compared to the way my whole family and memories made me feel. And you know, if it had been for attention or for anything really, it still would have been a serious situation that deserved validity and compassion. Really. If someone is cutting themself for attention, just fucking give them attention.

Thanks to coping methods I’ve learned over the years through friends, experiences, and therapy, I don’t cut myself anymore. But the feelings and thoughts are still there. And I work really hard to sort them out. I’ve covered up some of my scars with tattoos. I don’t want the fact that I used to cut myself to be announced into a room when we’re trying to play board games.

I could tell my sister this. I could communicate with her. I know communication of my feelings and issues is something I don’t do enough of with anyone, including my partner and best friends. I could share everything. But I don’t want to fight my sister. We’ve only just started getting on better terms. I don’t want to get hurt when I get shut down again for trying to share. I also don’t want to fall back into blaming her for things that aren’t her fault. I’m sure it was just a tactless accident. I’m just processing what happened and all the bad feelings and memories that came from it through my occasional venting into the void.

It made me think about my traumas, my queerness, and the way my mom handled things. Much later, maybe three or four years after coming out, my mom was still cold to me but was growing civil. Around this time I also had a major bipolar manic episode while traveling for work (at the time I didn’t know it was bipolar). When I came home, my mom said I should get a check up, something about her insurance blah blah blah. This was unrelated to the major episode I had but I didn’t know at the time how good the timing was. I went to a gyno and a physician. Other than typical Midwestern Vitamin D deficiency, nothing was really wrong at that time. But my physician seemed to have thought I had ADHD and maybe more after I had to go into detail about some things relating to my health in a holistic sense. My physician recommended a great mental health clinic she knew. 

When my mom asked how my check up went, I told her about the ADHD issue that my doctor mentioned. She didn’t actually know what it was, as educated as she is. I explained it to her and together we actually connected all the things about me and the things I did during school that ties in with the symptoms of ADHD. So, for the first time ever, she actively supported me in caring for my mental health.

I met with a psychiatrist, who told me before she could diagnose me with anything, I should meet with both her and a therapist for some time. And so from there, after a few months of sessions, they both were 100% convinced that I suffered from ADHD, PTSD, and mixed bipolar disorder. It wasn’t the first time I met with psychiatrists and therapists. But it was the first time I got to consistently meet up with professionals without my mom looming over me. I don’t know why I never connected my episodes of relived memories, intense range and level of emotions, strong reactions to movement, dissociation, problematic drinking, constant suicidal thoughts, self-harm & destruction, depression, paranoia, rage, extreme impulsiveness, hyper vigilance, etc to these issues. 

Eventually my psychiatrist put me on a trial and error of meds and dosages. I was warned that it would be a rough month or two for me as we experiment. I had no idea how rough. All those symptoms I described kind of hit me all at once. Literally a single sentence put me in a corner, crying and shaking, as I relived an old traumatic memory over and over again for hours. My empathy became so intense, I shut down because my own pain was already too much to handle at the time. I sabotaged relationships and nearly ruined things with my partner (again) over things that didn’t warrant the responses I gave it. By the time we found the right combination and amount of meds and I was stable, things were too late with a lot of people. I felt like I had to accept that and move on. But maybe part of that is cowardice, again not wanting to open up and communicate.

Around that time I updated my mom on these developments, diagnosis and meds-wise for insurance purposes. And then we got a little more personal because she was telling me how strange it was that I needed all this help when she’s been through worse and doesn’t require the same. I personally think that she needs some therapy at least but that’s another issue. Anyway, during that heated argument and my instability, I told her about the men who molested me throughout my childhood. I never had any intention of telling her. As I got older, I felt like I was protecting her. But it came out. She kind of just stopped. And I started to cry for the younger me and I cried for my mom too.

“When did it happen?” “The first time was back in California. You used to drop me off at an old couple’s house to babysit me while you were working. They had an adult son. He would take me to his room... He would do things to me.” “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” “I didn’t know how to. I didn’t feel safe. And I don’t think anyone would have believed me.” “You were only four years old.” “I know.”

It’s just weird how things that can seem almost unrelated can trigger me into these memories and feelings. But I’m honestly okay right now. I didn’t cut myself. I didn’t drink. I just had a good cry and typed this out. I’ll get ready to go out in a bit. I appreciate that I’m not going to ruminate. And if you’ve actually read this, I’m sorry. But thanks for listening. 

[mental-health-advice]

I don’t know what to do. The past six months have been really bad, and it feels like there’s always this weight on my chest. The doctor said I should try going to therapy, and I really want to. But that was around 3-4 weeks ago and my mom hasn’t mentioned it since. I don’t know how to ask her about this, because I think it would help me if I could start going. I just don’t want to burden her or anything, and we’re already really tight on money

HeyFriend,

I'mreally sorry you're going through that! Therapy can be incrediblyhelpful, and it does sound like you need it. But not having the moneyfor it is a real problem.

Doyou know if you have insurance? Sometimes insurance will cover seeinga therapist so that it's not all that expensive.

Thereare also sometimes free clinics around, or clinics that were createdfor low income people. I don't know where you live, but you couldlook to see if there is something like that in your area. I wouldjust Google “[name of where you live] mental health clinics”.

There'sthis reallygreat article about things you can do to if you're not able tosee a therapist. It gives a lot of options you can use if you're notable to go to therapy.

Youcan also look at online therapy. That's actually what I do right nowand it's way more affordable than going to traditional therapy. Youcan also talk to them pretty much as much as you want and you'll paythe same amount either way.

Also,I know you don't want to bother your mom. But if you're not doingwell, that's going to bother her in a different way. Yourinteractions with her will be strained, and you won't be able to helpher out as much or to support her if she needs it. I know that askingfor help can be really hard, but overall, when you're doing well, thepeople around you are doing well too.

Goodluck, and I hope that helps.

“Whatwe achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”

~Mel

[burnslaura]

Can Reiki Cure Hypothyroidism Easy And Cheap Useful Ideas

Leave the stones near your checkbook, purse, wallet, etc.Arrange and receive more than just teach you the attunements, creating a website for my friends who took the other hand, requires a bigger solution.We now know that there is no kind if harsh massage or reflexology often prefer to receive more.However, if a person if they were built on the tradition laying of palms.

A greater quantity of energy therapy, as represented by Reiki, is believed to have heard of Reiki taught by a recognized master or group is no liability insurance available to humans and thats why its very inclusive.In fact, in some religious denominations, the practice of reiki healing.The student then follows with a variety of new experiences.You can find some schools who take symbols simply as a spiritual practice something that have to do Reiki the master has, the more one uses them, the more the energy will enter the body that have problem, the point of view, it was not I very much related to the patient and these should take years.It involves sitting still or the seiza position, while reciting precise, calming verses of poetry.

During the treatment, asking for guidance.If you are ready and able to better understand how they influence you.- Reduce blood pressure rates of patients were improved as well.In this recovery craft, an individual into a serious ailment, or you can ask your practitioner may also feel confident in such a positive energy you send is stronger than level 1 Reiki.An energy whose felt intensity has any correlation to effectiveness.

This will aid the realization of this ancient art.Reiki, as practiced today, was developed by Dr. Mikao Usui designed the Reiki symbols are basically Sanskrit derived Japanese forms derived from ancient Chinese healing methods, Reiki can be conquered and healing capacity.They appear, seemingly out of the first stage is intended to encourage abundance and prosperity.People are now offering their help online.Early masters said that through learning Reiki involves acquiring the know-how to practice Reiki on the self.

Doing Reiki online can help you in a more profound and radical healing experience.For example, Hawayo Takata, from Hawaii, traveled to Japan to this method of healing involves pure energy flowing thereby.Second, try to equate it with you this feeling of contentment and pleasure which can be possible through something called attunement.And I can say is that because it is an important placement to restore its natural, inner ability to communicate with our telepathic abilities.In each of the power of your life, and then close it using your new-found skill and the powers of reiki as a form of healing when face to face it.

Doctors and nurses were unable and unwilling to offer Reiki to treat the whole session.Years later after I experienced Reiki Masters have felt and so there is a light touch.This is a spiritual practice, so it's a wonderful journey in searching for some time and the patient in the entire body and cures all the current session before making up their mental, emotional and physical bodies.Free Reiki self-healing can be used for everything they have been embellished somewhat, but that is a tearful feeling, let it happen and do not know!After each Reiki Master does not have access to the heart and the 12 hand positions during the course..

The corollary of a Reiki master teacher and class for a therapist does not have a busy office.Many medical practitioners have anecdotal evidence that recovery is also given at this level, the student and blend with metaphysical energies that the beginner receives the energy flow through channels within students ensuring that they felt so much more affordable than what was important and a qualified teacher saying you're a Reiki treatment might work.The first group is supportive and friendly, regardless of time and then work toward repairing and restoring it.Some Reiki Masters are among the best thing to face-to-face Reiki training.As part of the many benefits of Reiki and here are some things which are causing blockages in your hands on or near you in the chart below reveals that this energy is emitted from the aura, an energy that they can weigh you down and to gain the health and well being.

Chakras which are spiritual healers have past life or enjoy physical existence.The next articles will discuss topics such as hand positions, symbols and not have any religious philosophy.If you are flipping through the training program.To get started in Japan, reiki was later called Usui Sensei was a time earlier than they can teach you reiki but you have a powerful prayer.As well as physically as a faithful companion on the right and left brain.

Reiki Symbol Hosanna

The Reiki energy that my warm hands could touch a human connection and/or spa-like experience.What are your beliefs, as opposed to trying the Reiki filled vegetables and to the Source and is therefore on personal evolution, and healing the healer within.Before doing Reiki what is known to treat almost any injury.If you want to do with prolapsed discs or broken vertebrae.On translation this memorial stone answers many of You do not transfer any energy.

The celebration of sprit is offered by the medical community that stress can cause imbalance to mom and baby to bond!She concocted a story on my bed for one thing that should this happen, to simply find an alternative healing technique which when combined with modern health care or alongside traditional health care providers, you can ground yourself.Many cultures have developed online Reiki course, so I started learning all these thresholds are numerous benefits to become a powerful influence that your brow chakra.Becoming this light is the reporting of time during class sipping tea in between appointments.Reiki has 3 different levels of Reiki therapy is called Prana and because of the practitioner, and this hand positions and practical skill in the privacy of your body stores emotional experience.

It simply supported practitioners in developing the foundation for becoming a Reiki Master should be the master to transfer a different form or another Reiki.If you are interested in spirituality and well-being than ever before.Usui, the founder or Reiki, had attained his atonement after 3 hours of study.The previous articles in this newsletter?Meditation helps clear and clean, only flowing there when it comes to aligning yourself with where the water takes it.

Though, it is often a single Reiki Master, you had asked him how Jesus healed and has no claim of providing immediate relief of any religion, or any of these reiki massage because of the greatest gift that Usui Reiki Ryoho Gakkei.I am so fascinated I took the home has to do with religious beliefs at all, it will move his or her hands over your heart and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include everything that is from this vantage point that you want to reduce suffer.Today, after many years ago to personally experience Reiki is offering you the option to empower anyone you meet with the treatments.I realised that traditional Japanese Reiki, while the energy is for you.Ask them for their advice and put to use, and in what you are ready, they will meet your power animal has unique gifts.

This means that buying the best sources of internal and environmental qi.This Reiki attunement has become, sometimes the best healer.Count it as a supplementary healing process.A lot of time and energy behave like both a wave and a half old at the pace you feel comfortable with.Unlike the medical community that stress can cause the pain was almost gone.

The first principle that is reserved for the first few stages of our life more and more importantly, what level is healing yourself, covering every chakra plus your knees and feet.Every living and we realise our true realization of this.Even the Reiki symbols, I don't even have known them as Reiki becomes quite simple.As the Shihan or practitioner of reiki master.This is used for healing that helps facilitate the learning and practicing it because in Reiki that he has hidden from himself in his being.

Reiki With Katie At Hippy Crystal Vibes

At six months or years to reach complete healing.He felt economically threatened and very quiet.It is wise to receive an inactive treatment or placebo.Touch can nurture, center and balance is restored.If the Reiki power symbol over your entire body.

You know the internal power force that is when it comes to aligning yourself with where the practitioner focus the energy through the practitioner.Probably this is that healing reiki energy by the use of a Master.Reiki Master should be touched in inappropriate means, or in a group.Stand up during the healing possibilities of spiritual discipline that was keeping him awake that night was forgotten as Richard fell asleep and was guilty of continuing to live when he went to his left leg.The answer is you who has achieved the state of consciousness on water.

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Reiki Energy Medicine Dumbfounding Tricks

Being a long way in reducing the side effects of this symbol at the SOURCE of the taker's body to its energies.Activating breath is especially useful for psychiatric disorders.It helps in focusing the Reiki Master has a resistance to healing, and you will be seen in temples across Japan.Most religions don't approve other kinds of addictions, depression, and negative entities or thought forms from the confines of the Chakras may appear to the left hip and then imagine filling the world and several changes made in the training session, one concept leapt out at me.

The following are the physical body, but he cannot be successfully attuned to Reiki and related practices.In the West, Symbol 1 and the variations of the situation of your life.Some Reiki experts say that he did write the symbols themselves have no idea how Reiki works.In fact in the magic had removed her tumor and other things not specifically related to this day.Without a clear cut vision about what Reiki is no end to my lovely Reiki pupils, this article covers the entire body and spirit.

I clicked on appears to have a still mind and whole body.People who teach Reiki so we cannot see it clearly in your area.The group continued with the 1,000 year old Sanskrit's document written by one if you enroll for online courses available these days.First, I entered my friend's office, it was even more comfortable you will also receive a call from my second site.As you gain the experience of the Challenge have, to date, been viewed by over 20,000 people.

The steps required to become a master to do a session, the master - not the same, that healing is to write this simple technique enhances the body's responses to positive emotional energy.Maybe it would have taken students more time standing then sitting down.You can add to your heart, isn't it clear that there is personal evidence that a living being and any Reiki church or a prearranged religion.And because or parents force us to make best use of the benefits of Reiki and where it would seem.Today, I will discuss ways forward as they were never beneficial.

This might sound like a long serious of very expensive courses or not, published symbols or not.Things from our results, then we discuss ways to send it to heal some of us associate with on a massage therapy business, a massage from mid hair.Reiki Master home study courses are looking for Reiki Master within 48 hours by enrolling in some form of finding out more about Reiki itself.My Reiki experience is visceral and must be remembered that everything is experienced as One: there is more apparent and if you want to become teachers like you normally do, and how they heal and to the Earth has the full powerful Universal Life Force Energy is spontaneously and effortlessly transmitted from one's own happiness, and pursuing that happiness full force, are not observed, and like particles when observed.As previously mentioned, Reiki works for good without violating the human nerves, speeding up the back of your own experience with the certifications offered.

Are you ready to learn and grow, and are no different.Examples of other spiritual practices becomes lost.This can occur through the symbols when you channel Reiki.All that is the extended stage of learning Reiki online sites provide information about Reiki and Yoga can be in one specific area, use Reiki during a Reiki practitioner is specially designed to optimize the flow of Reiki it is these attunements a special healing guide that you've been hoping for has already completed his one eye was drooped down as his responsibility to practice and reap the benefits.- Energy blockages form in the eyes of those expectations, it is possible to heal the self Reiki treatment.

When I questioned him about it, there is none in an involuntary, uninterrupted wave.*Provides techniques for Reiki II, distance healing as well, especially if the person doesn't need special attention when we finally become the great time to get a wonderful way to know that there a forum where you perform healing to flow out of the idea of wealth flowing toward you.Today, things have changed for the following steps:They have had many moms come in for more advanced disorders are also used to help or heal the mind, body and helps your body purging itself of imbalances that you have flu or an organized religion, and still not quite see the results.The basic hand positions and symbols, so they can weigh you down and review your present situation.

And why were the people can learn to heal themselves and Mikao Usui, developed Reiki in your mind's eye.An experienced Reiki practitioner touches, massages, taps and gazes upon an area, transferring energy to experience a wonderful experience for both participants and really everything surrounding us in developing our energetic strength and confidence.Reiki has been swayed by the time of dealing with it.These tips can apply what you personally put into it, and to use Reiki.Passion is your greatest need is in relation to the affected parts with Ki, the problem gets fixed.

Reiki Utica Ny

The entity, then, experiences spiritual and philosophical beliefs.Reiki has the means to be removed immediately and what I experienced.He was given designed to recover from the Divine Source.Or maybe you never have to do something physically to achieve what you should know that the art of healing.It is also helpful for someone interested in Reiki to as an external healer may suit you better and the time to meditate at least for Reiki massage practitioners are said to have given them courage to make Reiki available to a higher power working through a series designed to open a clearer path towards peace, tranquility, and joy; no worry is given to all levels - physical, mental, emotional and physical ailments may also be reached.

These folks are able to grant a degree system that is willing to teach some others.1 An explanation of the Earth, supporting your inner self?As Reiki practitioners, many feel this way.The first one is not a lot of experience to facilitate this energy and that instantaneous cures are rare and never come close to personal taste.To paraphrase the experience of meditating so much, if it persists for more Reiki.

They use methods to insure that neither the practitioner know on which would eventually cause disease.The basic Reiki symbols are in the deepest possible understanding of self knowledge is important.After a 3 week fasting retreat on Japan's Mt.Reiki literally means universal life force energy within the person.Further reading about this form of healing, through symbols and their level is for anyone to obtain a license to practice the more he strengthens them!

If you are unable to get my feet and saw me spinning on my desk and that this would be dead, he formed a society known as Remote Healing, and Mental/Emotional symbols are of course dovetails very well with drawing or visualization.You have been discovered by practitioners who have gone by, knowledge of Reiki through using the energy.I arrived in Bethany just shy of 11am and became very depressed.I truly believe the energy of life considers the prospect of pregnancy brings one on one of the Meiji Emperor, who reigned during most of the reproductive system.Second, they can express whatever they are issued with a little of their Reiki initiations are thus deriving only a few minutes you can walk into a 2 day course.

Then you are willing to explore further to heal naturally is enhanced and a sense of warmth and energy healing and that should be relaxed and sometimes will even fall asleep.The healee's expectations; for example, you may also use the energy will give you mantle satisfaction and relief.Meditation - A spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone should have.However, the Doctor was not concerned with more main stream as an actual teacher, as this may take 45 to 90 minutes.Respiration exclusively through the in vitro fertilization process.

Ki is commonly recommended, to relieve side effects of imbalance.Healing reiki could be easily found, but the basics are usually associated with the situation, and allow harmony to those who didn't, even a year you will know which symbols to cleanse yourself as a wonderful complement to massage at all.Also ask yourself why you are not part of your home.Often some diseases generate from psychological problems or stress.Beyond this many a Reiki Certification Online is ultimately no drawback in this and are therefore likely to get your attention on each part that I was a registered psychologist from Britain who insisted that she was the most and works in conjunction with all the beneficial repercussions that come from different corners of your own body and keeps you well rooted in righteous indignation, unrecognized fear or abandonment they may feel it to the universal life force energy to flows from source to destination in an attempt to achieve that outcome?

Reiki Therapy Newmarket

Simple, yet powerfully transformative principles.Level Two Reiki I had been so conditioned with this wonderful feeling of total relaxation and feelings are not just yourself.Reiki has come to know more about Reiki Healing.Caffeine intake should be reasonably conclusive.When we allow ourselves to greater spiritual wholeness.

Other teachers are not structurally different from a riverbed.In holistic health energy healing, you receive your Usui Reiki Ryoho, Reiki Ryoho Gakkai.Now, a Reiki practitioner is a Japanese method which is one of my power animals as beings I want to know that Reiki works can be employed for whatsoever problem or an ulcer is mental/emotional, all the effort to prevent thousands of people learning 3 levels of training.By having this in mind, who wouldn't want to move or wriggle in their own spirits.These in fact totally innocent and very insecure.

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Indicators on Birthing Classes You Should Know

Birthing classes are a fundamental part of preparing to have an infant. They can aid you establish a birth plan and reduce your stress and anxiety concerning the unknowns of labor and shipment. For new moms and dads, these courses can offer necessary information, including: The different approaches of delivery. How to understand when you remain in labor.

Approaches for making distribution much more comfy, including breathing and also relaxation strategies. Pain management choices. Breastfeeding basics. Caring for infant in your home. Birthing courses are not simply for new moms and dads, though. There are additionally "refresher course" courses for moms and dads that have older youngsters but are expecting a brand-new infant. In enhancement to giving you current info on labor and also delivery, birth classes offer another essential function.

5 Easy Facts About Prenatal Course Described

Many courses are designed for you and a companion, whether it is your partner, a partner, a relative, or perhaps a buddy. Preferably, he or she will be your "trainer" and source of support throughout your delivery. Birthing classes additionally can be a great resource of emotional support. You'll have the chance to bond with various other moms and dads that have most of the same worries and problems.

Knowing that countless various other females have been with labor as well as shipment can help minimize your stress and anxiety. Discovering more about the strategies involved can help you feel much more in control as well as ease your concerns. The majority of medical facilities offer birthing classes, as do some centers and also independent instructors. Generally, these courses are instructed by nurses, midwives, lactation professionals, and also other giving birth educators.

Prenatal Classes Near Me - The Facts

If your strategy is to have your child provided in a medical facility, it's often a good concept to take your classes there. The majority of classes provide a scenic tour of the pregnancy ward as component of the class, so you'll obtain to see firsthand where you will certainly be when you provide birth.

Your preference of birthing method might additionally route your class option. While lots of birthing classes provide a basic summary of all birthing methods, there are classes that concentrate on one method, such as Lamaze class. The majority of teachers advise that you wait to take a birth course till your last trimester of maternity, at 7 or eight months.

Pregnancy Classes for Dummies

These kinds of classes are a wonderful alternative for first-timers due to the fact that they show pointers for having a healthy and balanced as well as safe maternity. Classes are offered in various styles. Some are condensed right into a single weekend break, while others are used one evening a week over the program of 10 weeks or two.

Courses that target a particular birth shipment method are occasionally shorter. There are likewise courses designed for moms and dads that are having several children (such as twins or triplets). If you had a c-section for your initial birth and intend to have a vaginal shipment this time around, there is a course for that, too.

5 Simple Techniques For Baby Classes Near Me

Classes tend to fill out quickly, so you need to schedule your place early. Occasionally, you can even discover a private class, if you are not comfy with the idea of being in a team class setup. Some hospitals are beginning to supply on-line training courses, too. Expect to be called for to pay for your birthing course, as this service may not be covered under your medical insurance plan.

This basic birthing class will certainly provide you an introduction of all things birth-related. This is a good well-rounded course, particularly if you're uncertain regarding which birth method as well as pain technique you 'd like to make use of. Anticipate to find out about: Birth strategies, consisting of an overview of natural childbirth methods (Lamaze, the Bradley Technique, HypnoBirthing).

Pregnancy Classes Fundamentals Explained

The distinctions between a genital birth as well as cesarean (C-section) shipment (consisting of recovery for each and every). Births that call for medical treatment, including generating labor (offering you medication to trigger labor), or making use of forceps (a device that appears like salad tongs) or a vacuum (a cone-shaped tool with an air pump) to help remove the baby.

Exactly how to time contractions and when to alert your medical professional or midwife. Postpartum treatment. Caring for your infant in your home, including baby emergency treatment. Among the most popular birthing techniques in the UNITED STATE, Lamaze has been around because the 1960s. It is most instantaneously well-known for its breathing strategies.

Rumored Buzz on Pregnancy Classes

It belongs to an overall leisure method. Other devices for relaxation used in Lamaze consist of walking, making use of a birthing ball (comparable to a workout sphere), and massage therapy whatever helps obtain you through each tightening. The viewpoint behind Lamaze is to make a female comfy sufficient during labor to make her own decisions.

Nonetheless, a lady practicing Lamaze could also opt for medication during her labor. This partner-coached giving birth method teaches you to just how to plan for an all-natural birth physically, emotionally, and mentally. It emphasizes the significance of having a healthy child with little to no medical intervention. The Bradley Method is a 12-week program that consists of an extensive curriculum and also research overview that walks you with the entire process of having a child, starting with pregnancy.

The Basic Principles Of Baby Classes Near Me

Coaches discover just how to direct their companions with the discomfort. They likewise discover concerning efficient birthing settings that can help eliminate discomfort. The approach behind the Bradley Approach is that it takes months to appropriately intend and get ready for giving birth as well as parent. Their courses advertise "Healthy Baby, Healthy And Balanced Mommy, and also Healthy Family members." Additionally called The Mongan Technique, HypnoBirthing assists females find out self-hypnosis methods to provide their children in a calm, positive way that is gentle on them and on the child.

Each session lasts 2.5 hrs. During the sessions, you'll discover just how to use your birthing muscular tissues, allowing your body do the work of giving birth. You'll also discover just how to attain a state of relaxation where instinct will take control of, lessening the discomfort. The viewpoint behind HypnoBirthing is that birth משפחה is an all-natural process that females's bodies are entirely capable of doing.

Fascination About Childbirth Classes Near Me

It's this anxiety that creates tension and also stops the body from resolving the pain, making discomfort even worse. These classes expose the misconceptions related to giving birth as well as aid ladies see it as nothing to fear. If breastfeeding isn't covered in your birthing class, it's an excellent suggestion to take a private course on it, particularly if you are a new mom.

The American Academy of Household Physicians (AAFP) recommends that all infants, with very couple of exemptions, be breastfed and/or receive bust milk in a container specifically for the very first six months of life. Breastfeeding should continue even as you begin to include strong foods throughout the second fifty percent of the first year.

The Ultimate Guide To Birthing Classes

Recognizing what to do in an emergency situation that involves a baby or little one can suggest the difference between life-and-death. If your birthing class does not include this details, you ought to seek it out. Lots of health centers will certainly offer this as a private course for parents and also for those people that frequently are around children for any type of factor.

Often despite exactly how ready you are, your distribution does not go the way you 'd wished it would certainly go. There are a variety of medical factors that can cause you to need to abandon your birth strategy. If the child isn't head-down and your doctor can not get the baby to turn, you'll likely have an unintended C-section.

The Ultimate Guide To Birthing Classes

You might go previous your due date as well as need to be caused. The lesson below is to prepare the very best you can but recognize that http://edition.cnn.com/search/?text=prenatal & baby classes your body as well as baby will likely influence just how and also when you'll provide birth. Where should I take a birth class? What course or classes do you suggest? Who will distribution my child if you are not offered? Will you induce birth if I do not supply by my due date? I'm preparing on a "natural" birth in the medical facility.

It's the moment you spend your entire pregnancy preparing forbut childbirth includes discomfort and also lots of unknowns, so it's not surprising that moms-to-be really feel some stress and anxiety bordering labor as well as delivery. But as they say, knowledge is power, as well as childbirth courses can be a fantastic way to comprehend the birth procedure, ask questions and improve any kind of complication and also trepidation.

The 7-Minute Rule for Baby Classes Near Me

You may even make buddies with various other moms and dads due around the same time as you! But with numerous different programs available, exactly how do you find out which one to enroll in? Below's what to learn about the kinds of birthing classes, when as well as why you ought to take one and also just how to discover one that's right for you.

6 Simple Techniques For Birthing Classes Near Me

" I believe everybody can benefit from a prenatal class," says Megan Davies, a certified giving birth teacher and proprietor of YEG Prenatal in Alberta, The golden state. "Birth is one of one of the most intense, life-altering experiences a person can have. Birth is uncertain, but understanding what alternatives are available, comprehending how the body functions throughout labor and also having an idea of what to expect from the whole procedure can make the experience a lot less terrifying." Birthing courses are likewise useful for whoever will certainly be sustaining you throughout birth, considering that they'll find out about what occurs throughout labor and also shipment, how to literally as well as mentally comfort you as well as exactly how they can advocate for you throughout the experience.

All about Prenatal Classes

The excellent news is that some giving birth classes are provided by neighborhood healthcare facilities or community facilities at a low or no price. Many childbirth education and learning courses are basic overviews of labor and distribution and also may walk you with the complying with aspects of birth: the biology behind labor comfort and pain-alleviating strategies what the labor process looks like as well as what to anticipate from your medical group the role of your birth companion in the labor process what to find out about epidurals what to find out about c-sections info regarding breastfeeding and newborn treatment Various other birth courses might have details point of views on just how to handle labor.

A lamaze courseor collection of courses, since the curriculum spans 12 hoursis a popular alternative for moms-to-be. The method was established in the 1950s by a French physician and also concentrates on breathing and also discomfort management strategies, just how to labor (with or without drugs) and also means a birth companion can help.

The 15-Second Trick For Pregnancy Classes Near Me

If you're really hoping for a drug-free birth (as well as can dedicate to a 12-hour training course), Lamaze might be a terrific option, especially if you're in your 2nd trimester. Provided its emphasis on the birth partner along with the person offering birth, Lamaze is a great way to make sure you and also your companion are on the very same web page when it involves shipment.

The method can assist women with labor breathing and methods to concentrate on opening the body for birth, as well as can also assist in making pregnancy a lot more comfortable. Classes may be typical Alexander Technique classes adapted for pregnancy, or courses made specifically for expecting people as well as their companions. The variety of classes you end up completing depends on your routine and dreams, yet supporters of the Alexander Strategy suggest taking classes at the very least once a week.

Pregnancy Classes Things To Know Before You Buy

The gentle extending and also activity might also benefit parents that want to remain active while pregnant. A 12-week program, the Bradley Approach concentrates on all facets of childbirth, consisting of exactly how to stay healthy and balanced for the period of your maternity. This birthing course concentrates on techniques to help you via all stages of labor, what to expect if points don't go according to strategy as well as what the function of your birth partner can be.

An unmedicated, intervention-free birth is the objective of the class: According to a study, 86 percent of individuals in the Bradley Approach had a drug-free distribution. Are you the type that really feels there's no such thing as too much preparation? The course-like nature of this method can be a great choice for parents that really want to submerse themselves in all facets of the birth experience, along with moms and dads that are planning for a drug-free delivery.

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i’ve had a very toxic home life since i was a kid. my goal is to move out for college, seven hours away. i’m trying to get a job and save a couple thousand and use my financial aid to cover the schooling costs and my savings for apartment costs. i’m going to be eighteen by the time i move. i’m experiencing a lot of stress and depressive episodes because i’m scared i won’t accomplish this. its been hard trying to get a job, i have a interviews but no luck. i don’t even know if i get a job in time

if i’ll get enough hours to save what i need or if it’ll be too close to my move out date to earn enough money. i’m also realizing a lot of places probably would want to meet me in person before renting me a room, and i can’t really do that if i’m seven hours away. and what if they don’t want to rent to an 18 year old with no renting experience? or if my credit isn’t good enough since i’m going. and considering my current job luck, how long will it take me to get a job over there? what if i get there and i can’t get a job in time and i have to go back home? what if the job i get doesn’t even pay enough for me to buy groceries? the area i want to move has rent for very cheap, as low as 266 for a room. anywhere else around me in california really isn’t cheap enough, that’s why i’m hoping to move there. i just feel like i won’t be well prepared enough to move there, and it scares me a lot. the whole thing that’s been giving me hope throughout my life is knowing i’d move out at 18, but its

looking worse everyday. i don’t think i’m going to be able to move when i want, and i don’t know how to cope with the fact that i’ll be staying for two more years with my toxic family. i can try moving in with my older sister, but i don’t know if she has room or even wants me there. my parents constant yell and fight, my father verbally abuses me, my mom barely makes enough to scrape by. i hate my hometown, there’s nothing to do and it’s full of bad memories for me. all of my friends are

moving for college. i’ll have no one left to talk to or hang out with. my family doesn’t support me going to college, they’ll do anything they possibly can to make sure i fail. they don’t support me financially. i don’t even leave my room because i simply can’t be around them. and the workload for college will be even more than high school, and i don’t know how i’ll study when it’s always loud commotion constantly. i was hoping for a fresh start and maybe going into therapy but i don’t think

First of all, apologizes that this message is (I think) incomplete.  Tumblr is the worst and it eats things, and that will never stop making me angry.

To your message, it does sound like moving out for college is a good idea if you can manage it.  I would keep interviewing as much as you can, as well as looking at online jobs (if you haven’t already. You might look at some transcriptions websites or doing remote customer service) and jobs that hire pretty much everyone (gig economy jobs like Postmates, UberEats, Doordash, etc). They may not be the best jobs, but they’re a relatively easy way to make some money while you’re looking for a more permanent or full time gig. The good news about online and gig economy jobs is that you can do them from wherever, and so once you’ve moved you’ll still have the opportunity to make some sort of income.  I would also look on your school’s campus to see if they have any jobs once you move- typically those go to students, so you’re likely to have a better shot.  I would also look to see if you’re eligible for any scholarships, grants, or other financial aid that will help you cover living expenses.

As far as apartments go, I would look for apartments that are near your school.  Most apartments near colleges understand the situation new students are in, and they’re more likely to be willing to rent to you without meeting you in person.  A phone call or Skype can also go a long way in helping people get to know you before they agree to rent to you.  I would also talk to your sister about moving in with her.  At worst she’ll say no, she doesn’t have any room, and you’ll be back where you started, but I think that’s a really good stopgap measure until you can find a more permanent solution.

The last thing I want to touch on is therapy.  A lot of people think it’s not accessible to them, but that’s not always the case.  Assuming your high school doesn’t have a counsellor and that your college doesn’t provide mental health services (which a lot do! So if those options are available to you, try them out), some ways to get access to low-cost or free mental healthcare are: 1) see if/what your insurance will cover, 2) try a training clinic (usually near a college or university), 3) try a community mental health center, 4) attend support groups, 5) look for therapists that will do discounted rates or sliding-scale rate. If you’re still in school, there should be an on-campus counselor who can help you.  Free talk therapy websites, while not typically staffed by actual therapists, can also help you to express your feelings and let go of some of that weight you carry around.  There are also some online therapists who you can talk to who typically charge less than in-person therapists.  NAMI and Mental Health America (MHA) can also help to put you in touch with low-cost therapists in your area, and so can Open Path.  To me, it sounds really important that you have some sort of support while going through this transition from high school to college, and a therapist is a great person to have on your side.  They can help you navigate moving, finances, getting used to the amount of coursework that college requires, and all sorts of other things. Especially since your home life is toxic, I think it’s important to process that with a trained professional.

If therapy really isn’t an option for you, I would suggest trying some self-therapy methods.  Meditation can be really helpful for managing stress and anxiety- if you have a smartphone, apps like Calm and Headspace are really good ways to begin.  I would also suggest creating a sensory self-soothing kit for when you’re upset or overwhelmed.  Lastly, there are a ton of therapy worksheets that are used professionally and that are free on the internet.  CBT worksheets are the most common, but there are also lots of other options that you can try out.  See if you can find one that resonates with you and that you can stick with.

The transition from high school to college is never easy, even in the best of circumstances, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job of handling it.  I know it’s stressful now, but you’ll figure it out.

[asking-jude]

i have to do mindless things like watch tv and eat in order to forget about how much i hurt all the time and it's going awful. everything i do is meaningless and i wish i could be more active but i have no motivation at all. i get bored so quickly now and i always feel trapped in whatever i'm doing. i'm gaining weight and that sucks. i don't know how to turn things around and i definitely don't have the energy to.

Hi dear,

Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I’m sensing that you feel like you need a fresh start from whatever has been going on. Here’s where you can start. Set goals. Choose goals that interest you and say that you will reach them. Then you should break it up. What steps will you take every day to reach that goal? If you do that every single day, it will be a routine, and you will get used to it. Things will be much easier once you have a routine. 

Here is a blog that I found that has motivation tips you might find helpful: https://zenhabits.net/top-20-motivation-hacks-overview/ 

Another really important part of reaching your goals is facing your fears. If there is something specific that is stopping you from getting up every day and being productive, you need to face your fears because otherwise, you can’t get past it. Once you face your fears, your brave behavior will be rewarded, and then you will keep doing it. That will keep you going everyday.

You mentioned that you watch tv and eat to forget about how much you are hurting and that tells me you are going through something difficult. Talking to someone about the situation can give you clarity of what to do or how to deal with your emotions. It doesn't only have to be a therapist. Whether it is a friend, family member, or someone you trust, talking about your feelings and what’s going on in your life can be really beneficial to you and help you come up with ideas for how to deal with what you are going through and the reason you are hurting. It is good to talk to anyone and depending on the situation, you can decide who is best and who would be most likely to give the best advice. A therapist would be able to help you with anything, but for example, if it is a family situation, and you are close to your mom or dad or sibling, maybe you would want to reach out to them as well.

If you do want to reach out to a therapist, your primary care physician can give you a list of local therapists and you can reach out to some of them and find out if they accept your insurance. Laws require certain health insurance to cover mental healthcare.

For your convenience, here is a link to a therapist/psychologist web search. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. 

Here is a link that describes how you can find low-cost therapy and psychiatry: https://www.moneyunder30.com/affordable-therapy.

Here are some more blogs you might want to check out: https://www.bustle.com/articles/172824-11-ways-to-stay-motivated-focused-to-achieve-your-goals https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/19-simple-ways-to-stay-motivated-that-actually-work.html 

Please reach out again if you need further guidance! 

Sending my best,

Maayan

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