#i have many thoughts and feelings about cat to human equivalent

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Hey, I know the vote isn't done yet but I was wondering what our first interactions would be like with them all?

We can certainly arrange that!! Ask related to this post!

*Internally kicking his feet like a little girl seeing so many interactions with our post* ( • ᴗ • )

although maybe it’s a little short since we would rather leave more context for the actual posts - Tea

I read wrong a comment and thought they were requesting a shop owner when in truth they were talking about the seller, now the shop has an extra character *look into the abyss in poor reading comprehension*

In my defense, google said 'shopkeeper' was an equivalent to shop owner *disappointed of herself in non-native english speaker* but oh well, the more the merrier (ʃƪ＾3＾）～♡- coffee

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ ↔ ♪⁽⁽٩( ᐖ )۶⁾⁾ ₍₍٩( ᐛ )۶₎₎♪ ⬅ representation of the twins receiving incentives to post

Word count: 2k

tw: yandere behavior, nonhuman yanderes, human yanderes, delusional, RIP self-preservation, written in you/yours, willing reader

-`♡´- Dizie -`♡´-

You walk into your house, still submerged in your own thoughts as you walk through the door.

"Uh, maybe I should arrange something to welcome Dizie when he arrives? I hope I don't come off as awkward..."

But... Why is your place so dark?

 You hear the door being slammed shut and as you attempt to turn towards it, a hand snakes over your mouth with a delicate yet firm touch as another coils around your waist from behind. 

"You were worried about my first impression of you? That's… really cute"

The voice of a man purrs near your ear and then you feel his face gently nuzzling with the top of your head like an affectionate cat, a rather deadly one.

"I took the liberty of checking around your home, you know, to make sure everything is like it's supposed to be, to make sure nobody else is lurking around… I'm so glad that isn't the case, you're all mine to cherish… only mine"

You feel his nuzzling being replaced by a soft kiss on the top of your head, as the slender hand covering your mouth moves to gently hold your face while his thumb gently rubs your cheek. 

[Clarification: Dizie is NOT stuck in his past or still in love with the last “darling” he was bought by. He doesn't see the reader as a replacement of any sort. We want to get that out of the way from the get go, he's just traumatized (as he probably should be ngl) - the twins]

-`♡´- Gabriel -`♡´-

Tossing your keys onto your couch cushion you let out a soft sigh, the walk back home was rather awkward, well, as awkward as can be with a man following behind like a lost puppy, his eyes practically piercing the back of your head. You wondered why he kept walking behind you but brushed the thought out quickly as you felt him let out a veery faint sigh of awe while glancing around your home.

“it smells just like you-”

The man whispered to himself, his words quiet yet the silence of you both being alone allowed you to hear him very clearly. flattering, but also a little unnerving. 

How did he manage to smell you when he was walking like a meter away from you?

His hands fidgeted as you glanced back at him, his eyes landing on your form still basking in the sight like you were some sort of divine entity before him.

 “This must be Gabriel then” 

you thought, connecting your choice with the man that just randomly started following you which you didn't have the heart to scare away.

 When the seller said he was a worshiper… he wasn't exaggerating.

Shakily, he reaches for one of your hands, clasping it tenderly with both his hands, completely engulfing yours with the warmth of his nervous fidgeting. His cheeks blaze red by the mere idea of touching your skin.

He leans down, pressing his forehead to the back of your hand, taking a shaky breath, then looking up to meet your gaze with pure adoration.

“I'm so incredibly thankful to be in your presence, darling. I'm so glad you chose me…”

(A person called him and Grier 'pathetic little mew mews' and now that lives rent free on my head; if you read this, I love your energy - coffee)

-`♡´- Oliver -`♡´-

This man is eager, that's for sure. There's no denying it as he practically drags you with him to his bakery as soon as your finger grazed his name on that paper.

You couldn't say a thing though, that wide smile on his face was just as sweet as the scent that wafted through the air as you entered the shop with the jingle of the welcome bell.

You were ordered to sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee with some butter cookies for the wait. He wanted to make something special, he said, quickly diving into the kitchen without saying another word.

You took a small bite of the cookie thinking perhaps there was something in it, but if you were his darling now then it shouldn't be anything harmful, should it? The cookie was… just any normal cookie, it was delicious even, buttery and crumbly, mixing perfectly with the rich flavor of the coffee. 

Your mind drifted to the man’s appearance as he gave you constant glances, peeking from the kitchen a little too often, it was adorable in a way, like he was checking if you were still there. There was no need to check though, he had locked the entrance as soon as you walked in and you had totally noticed. You weren't going anywhere. 

A few minutes later he peeked again, though this time with a tray in his hands, he approached and placed it in front of you, a delicious slice of cheesecake greeting you. He smiled proudly as he saw your mouth water and as you eyes scanned the delicious treat you couldn't help but notice the fresh cut on his finger already bandaged up yet still bleeding a bit through the gauze… how deep was the cut? The blood was so red it didn't look like a superficial wound.

“I'm just a bit nervous, Dear, i wanted to cut it perfectly for you… my hand must have slipped”

He reassured you, dismissing the severity of it but quickly hiding the cut from you. His sheepish smile though made you forget about it for a hot minute- how was this bulky man such a sweetheart? 

Your fork soon dug into the creamy goodness of the cheesecake, the raspberry sauce that sat on top dripping a bit, its rich red color almost resembling that of his blood. What a passionate baker…

(...I love him, okay? -Tea)

-`♡´- singer  -`♡´-

The door of the car is opened before you get the chance to even lift a finger and you are greeted by the angelic face of a man, worthy of praise and worship, smiling down at you and offering his hand as to help you get out of the car

"Hi~, welcome welcome, how are you feeling on such a joyful day as today? I hope that you are as thrilled as I am"

He says with a charming smile, holding your hand delicately for you to exit the car then  guides you into his house, his eyes ogling you like a three course meal.

"Would you like something to drink? A water perhaps? I don't really have much sugary drinks since i take care of my vocal cords, but if that's what you'd like then I'll absolutely find a way to get it for you"

"Oh, I'm really fine, don't wor-"

His step falters before stopping dead in his tracks, his smile softening in… awe? He shuffles closer as your voice trails off by the sudden action.

"Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry to interrupt your words, I just couldn't help but get closer… you speak so softly, I'd wish to hear you more clearly"

He puts his hand on your shoulder reassuringly, though it quickly moves up to your neck, his thumb caressing your throat.

"You shouldn't overthink too much, your duty here is being happy with me, and when I'm not around, feel free to enjoy your free time as you wish; my only condition here is you take care of yourself and… to not look at anyone else in the eye for too long… but well, you should’ve already expected that, you signed for it, honey"

-`♡´- Myotis -`♡´-

You feel your heart on your throat as the butler opens the door for you, as you make your way inside, you feel like you walked straight into a historical movie of some sort, if the outside looked already out of a gothic fairytale, you can't find the words to describe how impressive the inside is.

"I'm glad you seem to like the place, Amore, that makes things easier for both of us. I hope you can forgive my eagerness to meet you"

You can't help but get surprised when you notice him right beside you, speaking to you dearly as he grabs your hand as if it was made of glass to softly kiss the back before giving you a smile.

"Fear not, you can always indulge yourself and wander around to enjoy the mansion, but I rather that the precious focus of your gaze be on me, I’d be delighted to spend as much time with you as possible, don't you think so?" 

-`♡´- Lior -`♡´

You enter your home excited, wondering if you should get some fairy lights and stuff for the yandere you chose when a rustling in the distance disturbs your thoughts, grounding you back to reality.

You make your way in the direction of the noise and find yourself standing in front of your bedroom window where the poor moth boy flutters his wings trying to squeeze past the small gap, half of his body still hanging outside the window. This must be Lior.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, I just thought I would be able to fit in the open gap"

You truly can't help but giggle at the situation, okay, he is really cute for a yandere, the seller sure speaks the truth.

He grumbles uncomfortably, wiggling his way inside your home. His satchel almost falling out the window, but he manages to grab it mid air. Fast reflexes, that's a plus.

"I brought a present with me!"

He sighed out in relief while holding his satchel. With some effort due to his limited movement, he is quick to lift his bag and rummage through it, proudly lifting in the air a big cinnamon scented candle.

“Some light for my daylight! I-I thought you'd like it, though I'm not allowed to use candles… I always burn myself with the wax”

(he's my baby and i love him, thank you very much. -tea)

-`♡´- Tarak -`♡´

"Huh, what a gorgeous being…for a human… I will accept your proposal"

The dragon says in a low husky voice, gazing at you with a smirk, his hand gently lifting your chin so that your eyes meet his.

"You were the one that got chosen, not the other way around"

The seller quickly remarks, the humanoid dragon clicking his tongue in response.

“Same difference... the order of the factors does not alter the product after all, we are united either way”

Even if the humanoid acts roughly with the seller, Tarak gently puts your hand on his arm and holds it there as he walks outside of the store with you. What a gentleman.

"You are going to love the forest, of course, my cave is most enchanting, but I did in fact go out of my way and make a cabin next to it, everything is already taken cared of, I know not every species has the resilience to prosper in my environment, but, well, your ancestors used to live in caves... so maybe you can manage"

“Is my home not an option from the beginning?”

You say a little nervous, not sure if you can actually survive in a forest without being eaten alive by the wildlife, although you must admit that is kind of a silly thought if you think of the power of a dragon like him.

He looked like he was about to protest your request, but just your scent in the air was all he needed to sense your feelings and give you a look as he relaxed his shoulder in defeat.

"... alright, I'll indulge you, we have a lot of time in our hands to adjust to the changes around us anyways, I'll stay at your home until you are comfortable enough to come to mine, I will make sure to adorn it in any way you please for when that time comes"

He gently messes with your hair as a way to reassure you before he resumes walking, following you to your home.

-`♡´- Grier -`♡´ 

The seller goes down the wooden ladder after taking the tape off the camera lense and signs for you to come closer to it.

"The cameras here don't have sound but showing you to him should be enough of a clue all by itself"

You freeze as the security camera focuses on you, standing there, you wave awkwardly and the camera starts moving side to side abruptly before freezing,  like the person behind it moved away from it.

"Well, either he fainted or he is coming right away!"

The seller says in a cheerful voice as he goes to cover the camera lense again with a strip of tape. A couple of minutes pass before you hear the screeching stop of a car parking in front of the shop hurriedly, soon followed by a panting man who barges inside like his life depended on it.

“I’m here! I'm here!!” 

He says almost tripping on his own feet as he shoves in your face a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

"Oh, those are my favorites! Thank you"

"I-I know, don't worry, I made sure to do a quick background check on your medical history so I don't trigger any allergies, I promise I will gather more information tonight! Don't worry"

-`♡´- The seller -`♡´

"I already told you, I'm not a yandere"

"How did you know I don't go out?"

"You're practically chronically online! It's just a lucky guess"

"My screen time is something even weirder for you to know!"

"..."

"..."

"... don't tell management"

[Clarification: yes, the seller’s is shorter, that's because as far as we can tell, he's most likely to win first place in the survey so we are saving up most of his character and interactions for his main post (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ - the twins] 

-`♡´- …owner? -`♡´

…???

"Oh, that's an interesting turn of events, so many options yet the button you press is not even part of the survey..? How experimental”

The owner let out a rich laugh as he spoke his usual nonsense to catch your attention through the speakers of the shop.

"Ah yes, 'nonsense'. What a disappointing excuse.."

The owner argued with himself under his breath before he sights.

"Want something to drink?"

*Ejem* little clarification (it's the third one now in this post, get a grip. - tea to himself), characters that aren't in this survey have already been requested in asks or comments or, well, won the first survey. we haven't forgotten about them, we are already working on their posts 💚 - tea

Don't forget! If you like something specific, you can ask freely! As I said before, we love interactions! (Attentions seekers? More like validation seekers lol) - coffee

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

Divider by tea ✌️ (i know I'm amazing/j)

[mixes-archive]

SUPER GRAPHIC ULTRA MODERN GIRL ✰

Arcee x fem! human! reader

SUMMARY: Being unabashedly feminine while working in a male-dominated field is EXHAUSTING. But thank Primus Arcee and you have each other to cope.

TAGS: winners possibly winning, cute fluff, the stove is not even on yet-burn, shitting on men a bit in spirit of this song

A/N: I BET THIS WASNT THE COMBACK ANY OF YOU WERE EXPECTING LOLOL - I won’t bore anyone with a long story, my ask box is open if you’re curious about anything.

This is my first fic in years, and my first for Transformers, so I hope its atleast somewhat enjoyable??

Arcee was, well…

confused, if an Autobot can be, at herself and her emotions.

Servos tracing the round part of her helm as she loses herself to her thoughts - about you.

The little human who had somehow, some way, crawled itself into the deepest parts of her processor. And with no great difficulty either, she was almost enamoured with you since she’d first laid her optics on your little form.

Finding reason for that wouldn’t be as hard as anyone would think either - for being such a tough and independent bot, having purely masculine friends doesn’t get tiring. (After you’d told her about the human equivalent of her experience, she was glad she lacked a sense of smell)

Now, she loves her crew, she really does, but first being one of the few feminine-presenting cybertonians and now seemingly the only one on earth (with exception of Airachnid) - it would have been hard not feeling lonely, while also admired by too many.

It was overwhelming and so, so lonely.

They’d previously brought a few humans in on their situation, to put it mildly. Unfortunate souls that couldn’t overlook the brightly coloured, obscenely tall and heavy machines shifting almost magically, in a badly hidden spot.

Of course, luck had been on their side, because they were all willing to stay silent, sometimes even helping out with stuff the autobots couldn’t do themselves.

Yes, they were lucky. But Arcee did not feel that way because as it turned out, they’d all ben men.

Not that she’d treated them as anything less than because of that of course, but she still couldn’t help but crave that true connection of someone likeminded.

So when Bumblebee came crashing into their hideout with a frilly, pink… thing in his servos, she was excited.

You’d looked so adorable, sharing her colour-way even, as if sent by Primus himself, saying: ‘Here Arcee, for all your troubles.’

Arcee made it no secret that she’d claimed you as hers. From the start she was by your side, giving you a comforting glance when Optimus gave you the run-down, and having her servo on the small of your back when you’d eventually met all the others. The others don’t think they’d ever seen her talk that much.

And the sentiment wasn’t one-sided either.

As much as it was upsetting to be basically kidnapped by a (admittedly very cool-looking) Camaro because you’d spotted it- him shifting to bend into a humanoid shape to pet a cat, you did have to admit it wasn’t a terrible situation to be in. At least you now had the confirmation that aliens wouldn’t cause harm to you.

Though once you’d been informed that really, they hadn’t planned on staying on earth as a long as they did, and really, really couldn’t afford to be known about on a bigger scale, you felt sympathy for them.

And something deeper for the nice, pink robot comforting you through all these plot-developments.

You ended up chatting so much that the night ended at dawn, along with a private lesson in motorcycling from Arcee herself. Turned out you actually lived close by and you promised each other to meet again soon.

Maybe it was the excitement of finally meeting someone that you clicked with so well and so quick, maybe the tiredness clouding your brain or maybe the fact that the first person you’ve found yourself attracted to is a 9 foot tall robo-woman, but you kissed her display before running into the safety of your house.

If she had speakers, Arcee is certain the entire neighbourhood would have woken up to hear Katy Perry playing.

[mara-xx217]

Fear and hunger, like I don't mind monster (? If crow or guard or poket cat) and all but what about Pav from Termina??? :3. ;33

With Pav x reader if you don't mind, like I hope you don't mind me blabbing and all but I imagine Pav got curious and got the attention from reader but they(or she I don't mind) didn't notice and all , Pav be like Mine and he thought after the festival am gonna make them mine or something like that lmao

I've been thinking about him for a while and I've been liking him more and more. So here's some headcanons for him and a fem!reader as the Festival takes place!

Warnings for general Pav toxic-ness and shitty behavior

Day One - Day Two

Pav isn't sure why you have caught his eye. Maybe you remind him of someone from his past, from the village that the Kaiser had raised so long ago. Maybe you were just cute to him, maybe you looked like a particularly easy target to him-

He's got some serious shit to do. He can't be flirting with every dame that he crosses... though it's not like there are many left in Prehevil, or at least those that aren't hideously deformed or raving mad.

Fuck it. He's a dead man and he knows it. Might as well have fun while he still can.

Pav is the most obnoxious courter and he fucking knows it. What better way to get a lady's attention other than to be the loudest, most flamboyant man on the battlefield?

He's kind of vile... Leering at you, catcalling you, whistling like the wolf he is. You didn't know what you were hearing at first, so you pretended as though you couldn't hear him at all. For all you know, it was one of the mad villagers losing their minds.

Being ignored isn't in Pav's style, so he will directly confront you and anyone else that might be in your presence and Gods forbid if there's a lad with you, because he will be squaring up for a fight.

Get used to being called 'his good girl', because that's exactly what he'll call you. Over and over again. Maybe it makes you blush a little... Or maybe your face is red from annoyance and anger. All of it is good for Pav.

"You're so pretty when you are furious with me, radiant one~"

He will threaten you with his gun, regardless of the fact that he has little intention to kill you. It's an extension of his person, as a solider, as a survivor...

Becomes unbelievably frustrated with the fact that you do not engage him like Abella or Marina does. No shouting, no 'fuck you's', no attention given to him whatsoever. What, do you think you're too good for him?!

Maybe you're right-

He can't stick around for long... He'd like to chase your skirt all damn day but he can't. There's... unfinished business he needs to attend to. He can't afford to fuck it up, even for a pretty little woman such as yourself...

Day Two - Day Three

He... failed...?

Waking up on the train, Pav is... disappointed that he is still alive. The shame of failure burns worse than the wound across his chest. He's nearly forgotten you, your face, your nice, nice ass in your pretty little skirt...

He's... surprised that you were on the train with him.

Pav isn't the cocky bastard that you met earlier in the Festival anymore. He's subdued. Quiet, almost... thoughtful. He avoids your gaze and has an expression equivalent to that of a kicked dog.

"How... do you feel?"

"..."

He rolled over and went back to sleep. Daan might have been the one to initially doctor his wounds but you were the one that continued to keep him alive.

Why? Well...

Pav was rather pathetic in your eyes. He was compensating for something, though what you weren't exactly sure of. He was dangerous and worse he was obnoxious.

But he was still human, and learning that he had attempted to assassinate the Kaiser had shifted the feeling of disgust that you had towards him into something more akin to pity.

Pav won't talk to you much. He's a wounded beast and you and him both know that he's due to die at any moment.

But it doesn't really stop you from making the last hours he has left at least bearable... More so than any of his time in the damn Bremen army has ever been.

@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine, @memoryofheather, @horny-3

[not-a-space-alien]

Desperate Daybreak Chapter 7

In this chapter: The tangled, asinine logistics of the situation catch up with Valen.

MMSS masterpost

DD masterpost

On AO3

***

Valen missed his cat terribly.  Maybe he could arrange to have her brought here, or go get her himself.  It was looking more and more like they were going to be here for a while, and the manor was a great place to have a cat.  She always allowed herself to be subjected to him holding her and crying into her flank, and he could really use that right now.  Instead, he had to make do with the historical cat plushie that'd seen him through many hard times.  It wasn’t the same.

And ten years was a significant portion of a cat’s lifespan, even moreso than for a human.

Valen spent the rest of the evening doing nothing in particular with Lex and Ari.  Seeing the two of them astonished and happy in luxury unthinkable for them was helping his self-esteem, although whenever they had to go into the human quarters for anything it made him feel like shit.

The responsibility of his position was starting to creep up on him.  The executive manager of the blood processing network had called him to ask for a meeting, which Valen only found out when Callidora came to find him and tell him so.  She’d handed him a notepad with a scribble written on it saying the manager was scheduled to come by at 2AM tonight.

Who had managed Priscus’s schedule for him?  Did he have a planner or something to keep track of all his appointments?  Or did the oft-abused manor staff shepherd him to appointments in the sitting room?  Valen couldn’t remember.  He’d usually been dismissed when Priscus had business meetings.  He remembered Priscus’s butler coming in to tell him he had meetings.  The closest equivalent Valen had was his handmaid, but Callidora certainly didn’t do scheduling of any kind.

“Callidora, does Priscus’s butler still work at the manor?”

Calidora curtsied.  “No, Mistress.  He quit after Pricus passed away.”

Valen briefly swam through a torrent of thoughts about if the butler, of all people, could have been the one responsible for the murders.  “Who typically keeps track of meetings and things like that?  Am I to do it myself?  I don’t recall Priscus doing much of that himself.”

“No, Mistress, the butler kept track of scheduling.”

“Ah, I see.”  Valen thought very hard and walked back down the hallway, to where Lex and Ari were sitting at an end table.  “I suppose I’ll have to hire someone to help with that, otherwise I’ll be spending all day every day on the phone scheduling things.”  He did remember that if Priscus didn’t start turning down requests to meet, his nights would be basically booked back to back, which always made him cranky… Valen was bracing himself for the onslaught of things to do that came with being a very important person.  He’d been so focused on saving the humans that he’d completely forgotten to think about it until now.

But he owned the estate now.  He had to be in charge of it.

He stopped in front of Lex and Ari.  “Where is Tessie?  I’d like to have a conversation with the four of us before the network manager gets here.”

“I can do it.”

Valen blinked and turned back to Callidora.  “Erm, what was that?”

“I can keep track of your scheduling,” Callidora offered eagerly.  “You don’t need to hire someone new.  You don’t seem to need, er, a handmaiden to help bathe and dress and- and whatever now, since you’re a man now.  Right?  So, so I can do the majordomo duties for you.”

Valen smiled.  “That’s a wonderful idea, Callidora.  Go ahead, then.”

Callidora bounced.  “I’ll do such a good job, mistress!  I’ll stay by your side and keep track of everything for you!  Don’t you worry!”

“Thank you, dear.  Ah, now here she is.”  Tessie came around the corner with an opaque glass jug, sipping from it.  “Tessie, I’d like to talk with you about something, please.”

Tessie held the bottle aloft.  “It must be that I’m not drinking the esteemed liquid rubies produced by the Kithrara dynasty!” she said with mock horror.  “Forgive me, Master Kithrara!  I’ll only drink the most violently-produced blood from now on!  No more imported blood for me!”

Valen laughed a little despite himself.  “No, Tessie, please drink the ethically sourced blood by all means.  Can we move to the study?”

The mess Eleanor had left in the study had been cleaned up–when had that happened?  The servants must have done it without Valen telling them to.  The fact that the housekeeping staff went out of their way to avoid being seen made Valen feel like the house was infested with shy but helpful gnomes that only came out when he was asleep.  He would have to make sure he signed their paychecks, or whatever–he didn’t remember what Priscus had to do to employ the staff.  Bossing them around had theoretically been Valen’s job, as the mistress of the house, but he’d barely ever cared and they seemed to know what to do on their own.

Valen passed by the holes in the wall left by the quills that had been pulled out, sitting at the desk chair and taking out a piece of paper.  “All right.  Business!  Yes, we’re in the study to do business.  Haha!”

“I assume you want to talk about what to say to the harvest web manager?” Tessie said.

Valen nodded.  “I’m… more of a laboratory person.  I’m hopelessly out of my depth.”

“Us even moreso,” Ari said.  “Sorry if we mostly just listen.”

“Right, that’s why I’m here.”  Tessie nodded and took the other seat at the desk.  “So, if I understand it correctly, the harvest network manager is the one who like… runs the blood farms and the hunters.”

At first Valen struggled to figure out why a vampire would be in charge of vampire hunters, before he realized Tessie was talking about literally hunting–the ones that made the trip into human territory to snatch people up and bring them back to feed the processing facilities.  “Oh,” Valen said, making a face.  “The ones who work at the processing facilities are the worst.  Can we just fire him?”

Tessie smiled awkwardly.  “Um…  Probably not.”

Valen put his hand on his chin.  “So we probably have to figure out how to tell him we’re simply going to be releasing all the humans, then.  I’m sure he won’t like that.”

Tessie jiggled her pen, bit her lip, and said, “Ah…”

Valen sensed he’d said something wrong.  “...That is our goal, right?” Valen said, floundering for confirmation he hadn’t made too many assumptions.  “We’re on the same page?  Since humans are people and all?  And it’s wrong to hurt them?”

Tessie flopped her folder shut.  “Right.  Yes.  No, yes, that’s our goal.  Um… I think you might be underestimating how much work it’s going to take to get to that point, though.”

“What?  Come on now, I’m in charge of the estate.  I have the legal right to return them to where they belong.  I know it’s going to be a huge undertaking to connect them with their families, but-”

“That’s not what I mean.”  Tessie leaned her head on her hand.  “Um, how do I put this…  Yes, it’s wrong to keep them here.  But… they’re providing all the blood that feeds basically the entire population.  The Kithrara estate has a near-total monopoly on domestically-produced blood.  If we just suddenly up and stop producing it, the thousands of vampires that depend on the family for daily blood meals will suddenly have nothing to drink.”

“What?” Valen said, getting frustrated.  “I mean, yes, but they’ll manage, I’m sure.”

Tessie put her hand to her forehead, like she was in the process of realizing this was going to be a harder conversation than she thought.

“Shit,” Lex said.  “No, she’s right, Valen.  Think about it.  You know what vampires are like.  What are they going to do if the blood supply they depend on suddenly dries up?”

“They’ll start assaulting human territory en-masse,” Ari said.  “It’ll be way, way worse than how it is right now.”

Valen gripped his hair.  “But they’re my humans and it’s wrong to own them because they’re people and not livestock, and I want to be a good person and a good person doesn’t own people.”

“A good person also doesn’t plunge society into total chaos that results in even more bloodshed,” Ari offered.

“Your idealism is admirable,” Tessie said.  “But we have to be practical.  We can maneuver this in such a way that we free them eventually, but we have to set up a replacement food supply first if we want it to be a meaningful, lasting change.”

Valen shifted in his seat, agitated.  “Well, why can’t everyone just drink the imported blood?”

“You know the supply isn’t nearly large enough to support everyone.  You’ve been in the specialty stores.”

“Well why can’t we just import more?  Surely there must be a way to make it work.”

“We can work towards that, but it’s going to be expensive to set up that infrastructure.  There hasn’t historically been much demand to support shipping over larger volumes.  We’re also going to have to negotiate with the blood suppliers overseas that collect it ethically–they only have access to a limited supply bottlenecked by volunteer donors, so they’re only willing to share so much of it, as I understand it.”

“Well, we have all the estate’s money at our disposal now.  I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Tessie took a deep breath.

“Slow down, Valen,” Ari said.  “Clearly Tessie has more experience with this than you do, so you should defer to her expertise.”

“I can’t stand having this stain on my soul,” Valen cried.  “Come on, I need to feel less monstrous!”

Gritting her teeth, Tessie pulled a spreadsheet full of numbers from elsewhere on the desk.  “Valen, do you see this?  The budget for the manor house?  The budget for the harvest web?  For the distribution facilities?  The projections on supply and purchasing in stores?  There are hundreds of thousands of people involved in this, and none of them care about your feelings.  Including the people who are depending on you to right the massive wrong that has been done to them.  Including the people depending on you to feed them without having to abduct and torture an innocent person.”

“She's right, I think,” Lex said with a grimace.  “It's hard, but I guess we have to be practical.”

“Realistically you’re doing all you can,” Ari said.  “Sucks, but it’s how it is.”

Tears welled in Valen’s eyes.  He knew they were right, and he had to be practical, but it just felt like they were all being mean to him for no reason in this moment.  He was so perpetually guilty he could barely function when he owned zero humans.

“We could try my artificial blood,” he mumbled.  The thing he was chronically shy about bringing up, for fear of being laughed at.

“Yes!” Lex said.  “Valen’s been working really hard on a formula for artificial blood!  He’s been drinking it himself, even!  I’m sure we could use that to supplement the real blood, right?”

Tessie tapped her pencil.  “You’ve been making… artificial blood?”

He nodded.  “It’s… getting there.  It’s still in development.  It’s–I don’t know if it’ll really work, but we could try at least, right?”

“Okay,” Tessie said.  “Yeah, we can talk about that, too.  This is a good start.  But you can see this is going to take a lot of planning, right?  We can’t just go gung-ho, open the doors to the blood farms and shove them all back over the border, right?”

“I know that,” Valen snapped.  “I’m not stupid.”

“Sorry,” Tessie said.  “It’s just complicated.  We can maybe take the opportunity to make a list of questions we should ask the network manager when we meet with him.”

All eyes went to Callidora, who’d come into the room, standing nervously and rigid in the door.  When she didn’t say anything, Valen prompted, “Yes, Callidora?”

“The network manager is here,” she said, very red.  “In the sitting room.”

Valen stood, alarmed.  “He wasn’t supposed to be here until two!”

“I’m sorry, Mistress,” she said.  “I got it wrong.  I made a mistake.”

Valen sighed in frustration.  “Well, whatever, we can just talk with him now and table this discussion for later.”

Valen brushed past Callidora, and she burst into tears.

Baffled, Valen turned back towards her.  “What on earth is the matter?”

“I’m sorry,” Callidora wailed.  “I’m so sorry!  I’ve never done anything like this before!  It’s harder than I thought it would be!”

Valen sighed.  “It’s all right.  No need to be upset about it.”

“Please don’t fire me!”

Trying to squash his impatience, Valen said, “I’m not firing you, but you should be in the position that suits your skillset, Callidora.”

“But you don’t need a handmaiden anymore!  Since you– you’re a man, or-”

“Callidora, we can talk about this later.  You’re not in trouble, and you’re not going to lose your job, but if you’re not up to the task, we can maybe put you on laundry and cleaning, hm?”

“I just want to take care of you, Mistress!” she said, far more distraught than the situation would seem to call for.

It suddenly occurred to Valen that he was not the only one capable of pining after a lofty, out of reach, impossible love. And that what he'd always assumed was affection won by his down to earth attitude compared to other nobles might in fact be something much weightier.  And that maybe Callidora was particularly attached to calling him Mistress and the feel of his soft skin for a reason.  And that maybe Callidora had only wanted to fill a different role for Valen because it meant she would continue being at his side on a day-to-day basis.

“Callidora,” he said, patting her hand.  “You are a very sweet girl, and I know you want to do your best for me.  I fully appreciate that.  We’ll talk about this later, all right?”

Sniffling, Callidora nodded.  “I apologize.”

“It’s all right.  We just don’t want to keep the network manager waiting.”

“Yes, of course.  Let me show you down to the sitting room.”

Valen decided it would be best to have Lex, Ari, and Tessie all come down with him.  It made him feel less like he was drowning to have them there and helping him think.  He did have Lex and Ari put on their silver body armor before accompanying him, though.

When they arrived, he saw that their guest was, contrary to the name of the room, standing in the center of the room uncomfortably.

“Mistress Kithrara,” he said, giving a very formal bow with his hands spread out.  “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me.”

“You’re welcome,” Valen said brusquely.  He took a seat on the sofa nearby, folding his hands in his lap.  Lex and Ari took up positions on either side of him, which made him feel much safer and in control of the situation.  I have bodyguards!

Tessie took a seat on the embroidered chair nearby.  “You should be aware I’m here in an official capacity as Valen’s legal consultant.”

“Duly noted, thank you, sir,” he said.  “I’m not sure if you remember me, Mrs. Kithrara.  I believe we’ve met on occasion.  My name is Edwin.”

“Oh, yes.  I do recall you as a business associate of my husband.”

“Yes, but I also attended a number of your formal balls at the estate here.”

It was at this point Valen noticed Edwin’s thrall, hanging back at the entrance of the room.  It was a man, tall and broad and with the expected neck scars from having wounds opened again and again.

Edwin must have noticed his eyes flickering over, or maybe he made a face, because he bowed graciously.  “I hope you don’t mind that I brought my thrall.  I’d heard that you don’t like having humans around, but it’s always been an expectation to bring one's thrall with you to the estate as a matter of propriety and status.  I’m surprised you have two of your own thralls, considering you’d apparently not had one before this point, Mrs. Kithrara.”

Valen scrunched his hands in the hem of his coat, frustrated.  Why couldn’t everyone just do the right thing forever always instead of making him wrestle with this moral ambiguity?  “These two are not my thralls, they’re my associates.  They’re simply here to listen, thank you.  And please, call me Valen.”

“Of course.  Thank you, Valen.  Associates, you say?”

“Yes.”  He paused.  “It’s awfully presumptuous of you to bring a thrall for status reasons.  Do you think someone who owns thousands of humans would be impressed by you having one?”

Edwin frowned.  Tessie made a cut-it-out motion on her neck, and Valen realized that despite the temptation, socially eviscerating this man would be counterproductive.

Edwin bowed again.  “I meant no disrespect, Valen.  It is simply what I’m used to.  Mr. Kithrara liked his business associates to have their own visible thralls.  I won’t bring him next time if it displeases you.”

Valen tried not to peel his lip in a snarl, but it happened anyway.  “It matters little to me, in the end.  What was it you needed to speak with me about?”

“I’d like to start by offering condolences on the tragedy that has befallen your family.  We are all quite shocked-”

“Yes, thank you, sir, the sentiment is noted.”  He waved for him to get on with it.

Edwin cleared his throat.  “Very well.  Mr. Kithrara had a regular meeting with me to stay up to date on the affairs of the processing facilities, since most of the day-to-day affairs there have been delegated to me.  I thought you probably would, as well, if you’re to be in charge of them from now on.”

All things considered, Edwin was being far more reasonable–and less misogynistic and transphobic–than Valen had expected.  He was bracing himself to deal with some real shitheads coming up throughout this whole business.  Edwin’s politeness didn't change the fact that he was holding a helpless human hostage, though.  Valen had to keep telling himself it wouldn't do much good right now to try and free this man.  He was probably braindead like all the rest, and it was more important right now to enact some sort of systemic change.  “Please do catch me up to date on the latest affairs, then.”

Edwin gave another polite bow and walked over to his thrall, taking a briefcase that the human had been holding.  He sat down in the chair opposite Valen and took out a manila folder, which he flipped open.

“The southern, eastern, and western processing facilities are keeping up with their quotas,” he said, taking papers out of the folder.  “The central and northern sites are having trouble keeping up with demand.  The southern site is overproducing by about 1,000 gallons per month, which makes up for the deficit, but it’s putting strain on the distribution facilities.  Mr. Kithrara and I had been in the process of discussing whether we should expand operations in the north to compensate.”

“No!” Valen said, sitting up ramrod straight.  “No, there definitely won’t be any expansion!”

Edwin bowed his head.  “As you wish.”

Valen reached over and slid one of the papers closer so he could look at it, then immediately felt sick.  Each processing facility was producing at least six or seven thousand gallons of blood per month.  For a moment he was so overwhelmed by guilt and shame imagining how many people it must take to do that that he just locked up.

“Is something the matter, Mrs. Kithrara?”

He snapped back into his body as Ari touched his shoulder.  “Focus on what you can do as a first step,” she whispered.  “You don’t have to do everything right this second.”

Edwin looked at Ari with an expression of faint annoyance, then back down to Valen.  “Is there something you’d like me to do, Mrs. Kithrara?”

Right.  The raw numbers were horrifying, but this was how vampires survived.  Valen couldn’t help anyone by just drowning in self-loathing.  That was how he’d always driven himself into an eating disorder.  That wasn’t productive.

He had to focus on what could be done to help, any way to fix this that wouldn’t result in a total clusterfuck where even more people got hurt.  He had a responsibility.

He cleared his throat.  “Tell me, Edwin, how long does it take for a newly captured human to… become brain dead from exposure?”

“New acquisitions are kept in isolation for six months.  The second six months they’re kept in decreased security, and by one year they’re docile enough to be integrated into the facility’s main population.

Valen tried to wrangle himself away from the edge of the spiral he knew was coming if he thought too long about the mass-scale destruction of cognitive function.  Focus.  Focus on what we can do.  There’s no point in feeling guilty about what’s already been done.  Think about how Lex and Ari had the bravery to look their mistakes in the face and not flinch away.

He crossed his legs and tried to maintain his composure.  “The ones in the second six month period, are they able to talk?  Do they remember where they lived in human territory?”

Edwin frowned.  “Why do you ask, Mrs. Kithrara?”

“It’s not your place to question why I want to know!” Valen snapped, and Edwin immediately snapped to attention.  Good.  Sometimes knowing how to act like an entitled noble was helpful.  Edwin didn’t need to know it was because Valen was so emotionally compromised today.

“My apologies, Mrs. Kithrara.  To answer your question, it varies considerably.”

Valen cleared his throat.  “Thank you.  How many humans are there at each site in the one-year period?”

Edwin shuffled through his papers.  “I’d have to ask for exact numbers, ma’am, but it’s generally about a hundred or less per site.”

Okay, so for five processing facilities, they were looking at about five-hundred people who might still be able to simply be given back by dropping them back over the border.  That was still a hell of an undertaking, but he could at least see something they could do in the short-term.  They were going to have a problem long-term as the blood supply dwindled with no new captures, but it was a start.

Valen crossed his legs, trying to exude confidence for the strange order he was about to give on day 1 of being in charge.  “I would like for you to give orders to stop use of persuasion on all the humans that have been there for less than a year, and start making arrangements to bring them to the estate in small groups.”

Edwin’s face twitched, indicating his suppressed surprise, but he’d learned his lesson and did not ask why.  “Very well.  If you’re interested in humans that have had minimal exposure to persuasion, I have a small group ready for you to inspect here at the estate now.”

Oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck, that had always been Valen’s least favorite part: when the fresh catches were brought for Priscus to inspect personally.  Priscus did that because he thought it made him look ready to take on the family business, if he was putting so much effort into ensuring the quality of the blood supply, by looking at every single one personally before chucking them into hell.

“You brought a load of… fresh acquisitions here today?”

“I hope that was the right thing to do.  Mr. Kithrara was interested in inspecting each one personally, so I thought you might be as well.”

Valen gripped the armrests.  Edwin was going to be mad at him, right?  No, Edwin was just doing what he thought Valen wanted.  Not that it excused his role in things.  “I'd like you to give the order to stop all new acquisitions, please.”

Another twitch of surprise.  “May I ask what the plan is to curb the deficit in production that will cause?”

“We'll figure it out.”

Edwin paused for a very long time.  Then: “Mrs. Kithara, need I remind you of the importance of our work, here?  The entire territory depends on our harvest web for-”

“I know that,” Valen snapped.  “But I own the estate, so I'm in charge, so I get to decide what's done with it!”

Edwin bowed his head respectfully.  “Of course.  I did not mean to question you.”  To your face, at least, I'm sure.

“Where are the latest new acquisitions that you’ve brought?”

“They are in a transport vehicle just outside, Mrs. Kithrara.”

“Give me the keys to the vehicle.”

Edwin fished around in his pocket and handed him a keyring.

“Thank you,” Valen said.  “I’ll take care of the acquisitions.  You’re dismissed.”

Edwin stood and bowed respectfully.  “Thank you, Mrs. Kithrara.  I’ll make sure your handmaid has my phone number, in case you need to consult me again.  Shall I plan to meet with you again next week?”

“Just send word if there are any updates.”

“Yes, Mistress.”  He stood and began gathering up his paperwork.  “If I may speak freely for a moment, Mrs. Kithrara, I would like to say something.”

Valen had to stop himself from sighing in disgust.  Can you just leave already?  “Yes, what is it?”

He snapped his briefcase shut and stood at attention.  “I’ve always admired your beauty, Mrs. Kithrara, and I don't find the alterations you've made to your body unsightly either.  I would like to submit that I am unmarried and know how to comfort a widow.  Do with this information whatever pleases you.”

Did Edwin kill Priscus?  Was he trying to scoop the inheritance?  Was he trying to scoop Valen?  Was Valen next in the line of assassination?  Either way, unlike earlier with Callidora, Valen had absolutely no patience for this declaration of pining.

“Noted,” he said coldly.  “Thank you.  You are dismissed.”

Edwin snapped his fingers at his thrall, who took the briefcase and then followed him out the main entrance.  Callidora closed the door behind him.

Valen leaned back and collapsed into the couch, feeling wrung out.  “Did I do the right thing?” he said pathetically.

“Yes,” Lex said, putting her hands on his shoulders.  “Yes, sweetie, you did great.”

“Are you sure?  Because I didn’t save his-”

“Think about all the people you just saved by giving that order,” Ari interrupted.  “That’s what’s important right now.”

“This is a good start,” Tessie confirmed.  “This will start reducing the harm we’re doing without going so fast we can’t keep things under control.  We’ll start figuring out alternative blood to replace the lost supply.”

Valen hid his face in his hands.  “I suppose now we have to see to the truckload of humans convinced they’re about to be food.”  They were all going to fear and despise him.  He wasn’t looking forward to it. 

Lex apparently noticed his chagrin. “Do you want us to just take care of it for you?”

“No, no,” Valen said.  The thought of sitting in here alone stewing in his guilt while they fixed his kind’s crimes was too much.  “I'd better take it head on.”

“You don't have to take everything head on,” Tessie said gently.

“It will be fine,” Valen snapped.  “I'm–I’m sorry for being short with you.  You've been nothing but an angel, Tessie.  Why don't you stay here and look at these sheets Edwin brought?  I'm sure you can start planning something with this information.”

“Okay,” Tessie said uneasily.  “If you're sure.”

Tessie took the papers and started gathering up her things.  This was good.  Tessie seemed to have… some sort of idea of what direction to go in.  Once Valen stopped being so short-tempered, maybe it would be manageable.

He took Lex and Ari outside, where there was now a second van parked near theirs.  Valen could see multiple humans inside through the windows.  Here we go.

He unlocked and opened the back door to the cargo space.  The vehicle was lined with two benches on either side, facing inwards, and a gaggle of about a half dozen humans were chained there, wrists connected to a fastener on the floor.  A few of them were gagged–probably the ones who hadn’t deigned to be quiet on the way over, and the drivers had gotten tired of using persuasion on them to keep them quiet.

They all look scared and miserable.  They looked scared of him.  They hated him.

He’d been there, scared and miserable and hateful chained up in the back of a van.  “It’s all right.  I won’t hurt you.”

He stepped up into the van, letting the humans see Lex and Ari behind him.

Some unnameable emotion rippled through the humans at seeing the vampire hunters.  Confusion, betrayal, anger, hope.

“What are you doing?” one of them said quietly.  “Why don’t you kill him?”

Valen struggled to hold back tears.  Lex and Ari did try to kill him, once upon a time.  That he’d existed in the same universe as those versions of the two was terrifying.

Valen was a bad person, and he deserved to be killed.  This innocent human wouldn’t be calling for his head otherwise.

He snapped out of his spiral as Ari stepped into the van and put a hand on his shoulder.  “All right, let me take it from here, big guy.”  She took the keys out of his hand.  “We’re gonna help you, all right?  This is Valen.  He’s on our side.”

Valen nodded shakily.

Ari knelt down and started unlocking the humans.  Valen and the first freed captivate eyed each other nervously as the human rose to their feet.

“You should say something,” Lex prompted.

“R-right,” Valen said.  “Um.  Ah, hello.  Everyone.  It’s nice to meet–No.  My name is Valen.”

Someone in the van coughed.  All eyes were on him blankly.  Ari tried to pick up the pace of unlocking people.

“I suppose, technically, I legally own you all-”

Lex elbowed him in the ribs.  “Try again.”

“Right,” Valen stammered.  “Um, you’ll all be returned home as soon as possible.  No need to worry, now.”

The faces stayed wary, clearly not understanding or not believing.

Valen nervously glanced up at the moon.  “I don't think there's enough time before sunrise to go to the border.”

"We can take them," Lex offered.

Valen unhappily fidgeted.  "But it's dangerous for you all to be unescorted."

"We're vampire hunters," Ari said.  "We'll be fine."

She turned around and got a look at his nervous, watery eyes, and groaned.  "Fine, we'll have a sleepover today and tomorrow night we'll go as a group, so you can be there to supervise."

Ari started helping the humans step down from the van to the ground.  One of the women refused to let go of her hand.

“Please help us,” she whispered, with a fearful glance at Valen.

“I’m helping you,” she said, bemused.

“I’m scared.”

“It’s okay.  Valen isn’t gonna hurt you.”

Valen turned away, feeling like absolute shit.

“We’re going into the house?”

“Just for today.  We’ll go home at nightfall.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to go during the day?”

“Valen wants to come with us.”

She glanced nervously at Valen again.

“Trust me, everything is OK.  You’ll get to go home.”

“Then why did he bring us here?” another one asked timidly.

Valen tugged on his cravat.  “Um, I didn't give the order to have you brought here. I, uh, recently was placed in charge of the estate and am charged with handling what my predecessor gave me. You will hopefully be the last batch of human captives brought here."

They all remained scaredly quiet.

“I suppose we’ll need to discuss accommodations… Well, the manor has plenty of bedrooms.  I don’t care what Eleanor thinks.”

Ari noted that a few of the humans were nervously eyeing Lex and Ari’s silver weapons, clearly thinking of making a break for it.  “Hey, uh, Valen.  Why don’t you just let us handle getting everyone settled in, okay?  We’ll know what to feed them for dinner and stuff, too.  You go talk to Tessie about your important stuff.”

Valen deflated.  “Oh.  All right.  I suppose that’s logical.  Do be careful.”

He trudged back into the manor and found Tessie still in the sitting room.  He lay down on the couch and curled up with his head directly by her thigh.

Tessie didn’t look up from the papers she was shuffling through.  “How’d it go?”

He let out a groan.  “They hate me.”

“They’re allowed to hate you.  It doesn’t mean anything.”

“But I thought I was doing the right thing!”

“People can still hate you even if you’re doing the right thing.”

Valen rolled over, staring at the ceiling.  “Well, maybe the world shouldn’t be that way!”

His protest hung in the air, empty except for the scratching of Tessie’s quill.

***

Valen offered to transfer himself to the master bedroom to open up the guest suite, but Lex and Ari insisted there was enough room for all the newly freed captives without it.  Valen just felt so guilty, like it was a silly whim to not want to go back in the room where he’d been so traumatized, and somehow Lex and Ari assuring him they understood and didn’t need him to face that just made him feel worse.

Well, some human who was otherwise having the worst night of their life was getting to sleep on the one-thousand thread count silk sheets in the master suite.

He couldn’t sleep.  He was shaken by the way they’d looked at him.  The fear.  The resignation.  He tossed and turned.

He crawled out and into Lex and Ari’s bed.  But they were staying elsewhere tonight, with the traumatized humans who felt safer with the two vampire hunters there, keeping watch.

It’d been a while since he’d so acutely felt the enormous gulf between him and the two humans he loved.  He curled up around his cat plushie and hoped Tessie didn’t hear him crying.

***

“Mistress.”

Valen turned his tired eyes towards Callidora, who curtseyed in the doorway of the guest suite.  “What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking,” she said very seriously.  “You’re right.  I should be in the position that suits my skillset.  I’m your handmaiden.  I’m here to make things easier and more comfortable for you.  Maybe that doesn’t include scheduling.  But I want to take care of you.”

Valen plunked back onto the bed with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.  “Thank you.  You’re very sweet.”  

Callidora curtsied nervously again.  “Tell me how I can make the master bedroom to your standards.  If we are going to be having many guests over like yesterday, it’s only right that they get the guest suite.”

Valen was incredibly weary.  There was no way to make her understand.  “It’s the room itself.  You’d have to make it feel like a different room.”

Callidora very seriously clenched her fists.  “I’ll do it for you, Mistress.”

“Please just call me Valen.”

She looked at him.

“Please?”

She bowed very deeply.  “Whatever you want.  Valen.”

She turned and dashed off.  Valen managed to summon the energy to finish tying his boots.

“You ready?”  It was Lex, who’d appeared in the doorway in her silver armor.

“Just about,” he said.  “Thank you for waiting.  I want to make sure nothing happens to you.”

“You’re sweet.”  In the same patronizing, incomplete way Valen thought Callidora was sweet, surely.  It stung that they would never think of him the same way he saw them, the lovesick fool that he was.  He followed Lex out the main entrance before he could spiral any further.

Lex drove the van of newly freed captives, and Ari drove their own van with Valen in the passenger’s seat.  Lex was always the one to make conversation, so the two of them mostly sat in silence.  Valen admired the trees in the moonlight, brooding.  Ari listened to the radio.

They reached the border.  Bailey and Jerome were waiting there in no-man’s land, leaning against their truck.  They both put their hands up and waved as they got closer.

“Hey, girlies!”

“Look who it is!”

Lex stopped the van and threw the doors open, and the errant humans all fled to the safety of more visible hunters immediately.

Valen trailed behind Ari, low in spirits despite the joyous tone of the humans talking to each other.

“Hey.”

Valen looked up to see Bailey hovering around him, smiling.  “I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Valen said thickly.  “I shall try to remember that.”

Bailey turned around and took a pet carrier out of the car.

“Snowball?” Valen said, perking up instantly, honing in on the white fur.

“The girls said you’re going to be staying there for a while.  No reason you can’t have her, right?”

Valen took the carrier from him, on the verge of tears.  In the periphery, one of the rescued humans was working up the nerve to come over and say thank you to him.  “Yes.  Yes, I suppose this might make me feel a little better.”

***

Valen got a new set of food and water dishes for the cat, new toys and a new collar.  When they got home, he set Snowball directly on the loveseat in the sitting room.  If he was in charge now, the pets would be allowed on the damn furniture.

Callidora walked by in a smock plastered with dry paint stains.  “Valen, your cat is back!”

Valen stood at attention.  “Yes, she is…  Callidora, are you painting something?”

“The master bedroom!  Go see if it’s to your liking, when you feel inclined.”

She moved off, humming.  Valen dashed off as soon as she was out of sight.

The master bedroom had a different door.  The elaborate carved wood had been swapped out for something plain, the kind a commoner might have for a front door.  There was a neat little opaque stained glass window in it that was charming, but not ostentatious like so much of the house.

Valen incredulously pushed the door open.  The entire master suite had been painted dark blue, like a stormy ocean, and stars spackled the ceiling.  The carpet had been ripped up and the wooden floors newly polished–he could still smell the wax.  There was a lattice of houseplants in one corner.  A tasteful chaise sat in the corner, and Valen noted it had been made up to sleep an extra person.  The huge four-post bed had been removed entirely, replaced by a more modern king-sized bed with a plain headboard and a plush red comforter, against the opposite wall from the old bed.  There was an absolute mountain of pillows up against the headboard, and atop it all: the cat plushie.

It was a different room, a different room entirely.  It was one designed to make Valen comfortable, to make him happy, and it had enough room for Lex and Ari and even Tessie to come in and be comfortable as well.  It was a room that said to hell with what everyone thinks this should be, it’s going to be whatever the hell we want it to be.

Snowball came up behind him, rubbing against his leg.  Her pink diamond collar had been replaced by a simple leather buckle.

“Do you like it?”

He turned around to see Callidora standing there, still holding her paint brush, between Lex, Ari, and Tessie.  

Valen’s eyes watered, and he dashed forward and squeezed her into a hug, getting paint all over himself.

“Yes,” he whispered.  “Yes, I like it so much.  Thank you.”

***

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[beta-adjacent]

Young betas being told "Hey no you can't perch on that it'll break."

Omg this immediately made me think about parks and jungle gyms, bwahahaha. I'm imagining like, monkey bars, but wolf-based. I dunno, I need more ingredients to cook for that one. But like,

That one beta kid who feels this really strong need to survey or hunt is at the top of one of those metal trees and all the parents are Freaking TF Out lmaooooo. But you know what I mean right????? That kid who made it their life's mission to sit on the play structure roof and observe the playground like some miniature god??????

Also while I'm on this thought.. what book series are the children of omegaverse roleplaying? What would be the equivalent of the Warrior Cats kids???? Instinct-less/human play????????? Because playing house would be playing pack; that inherently would be like Warrior Cat clan shit. Did anyone else have families feuding during playtime or was that an experience unique to me???? Anyways, I can even imagine that even being like cops and robbers with territory stuff, bwahahaha. Oh god, if I thought playground space was territorial before... they'd have to keep daycare staff/teachers stationed on so many corners to break up fights, bwahahaha

I think this post ran away from me, bwahaha. Point is YES, absolutely, you're so real for that

[wreckitremy]

i would like to hear. about ur special interest

Hmm, well currently I'd say selkies are my special interest bc right now I feel like pulling an um actually about them.

Selkies are an irish/scottish mythological creature.

They are seals that can take off their skin/pelts (usually referred to as coats in their mythology) to be a human.

They cannot return to the sea without their coat. If you catch a selkies coat, the mythology says that they will fall in love with you. But if they find their coat, they will leave and never return.

Most of their stories involve teaching people about not controlling people, and letting them be themselves.

My sources of selkie stories are

The Secret of Roan Inish (1994 movie based on the 1957 scottish book Secret of the Ron Mor Skerry)

The Song of the Sea (2014 movie by Cartoon Saloon, an Irish animation studio)

Tales of the seal people: Scottish Folk Tales edited by Duncan Willamson

Basically, there's not a lot of accessible info out there about them. But there has been some things in some modern stories trying to include selkies, that don't quite get the vibes of selkies right.

It's not that they are getting the mythology, wrong necessarily. It's about to equivalent the variety of changes werewolves and vampires have had, just on a much smaller scale. However they bug me so I'm gonna rant about why.

Selkie mermaids

As a hybrid, or a version of a mermaid with a seal tail instead of a fish tail. It's a cool concept, and not really bad on its own.

The problem is when people think that a selkie mermaid IS a selkie. The whole point of a selkie is being able to take off their coat and look human. Having the selkie be both human and seal at the same time changes what their purpose is.

Rules about when they can take off their coat, that are similar to Davy Jones in pirates of the Caribbean

Selkies are like fae in that they are unpredictable, but they do not have rules that strict. Selkies represent humanity's relationship to the sea. They are the tides, the waves, & the currents.

They have patterns, but if you try to rein them in, you will only have yourself to blame.

Also these kinds of stories make land seem more enticing by doing this, which is not really selkie vibes. They are curious about land and people, but about as much as a cat is, bc selkies are autistic coded (i wrote a whole post about that already actually).

Giving selkies with the Soulmate AU treatment

While selkies stories are about relationships, their stories are not about "finding the one".

Most of the stories, selkies are not looking for a relationship at all. Their stories tend to have the message of "if you love them, let them go". They kind of follow the plot of things like the song The Willow Maid (but instead of fading into a flower, they disappear into the sea)

Granted, Song of the Sea, does lean a bit in this direction, but it still has the vibe there, if you know to look for it. There is love there, but love is lost in many different ways due to the need for control. It's giving up that control that allows that love to not disappear into the sea completely.

Anyway that's my opinion on selkies. I've been obsessed with them since before I can remember, and I thought I had run out of things to say about them after my post about them being autistic coded, but omg this got long

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Nico Hakobyan!

Meow meow! (Our favorite cat person's birthday has arrived!)

Mrow. (As always, small character analysis + fun facts + songs!)

CW Transphobia, bullying, blackmail, death threats, murder attempt

-Nico is the Ultimate Pet Therapist! This is because, as they've explicitly stated, they like interacting with animals more than humans. They feel as though there are many unwritten rules of human conversation they don't fully understand, while animals are a lot simpler by comparison. Mood.

-Their secret may also play into why they prefer interaction with animals. It was "No one accepted you for your identity. You were constantly mocked by your family, your peers, and everyone else." Basically, people made fun of them because they're non-binary, to the point apparently they threw rocks and mud at them :(

-Speaking of secrets, the quote on Mai's page associated to them is "Everyone confided in her." Presumably they came out to Mai out of their own will, instead of being essentially outed by David (which is one of the many morally wrong things with David's whole "sharing secrets" operation, but this ain't about him).

-And speaking of secret quotes, the one on Nico's page's source code is "Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made?" A bit vague, and one which will probably only make sense with future context. Although, it may actually be referencing something we already saw.

-Time to talk about The Gym Incident.

-Ace got Nico's secret at the start of CH2, and because of his own set of issues, he decided to use this power over Nico to bully them relentlessly. Now, Nico also got Ace's secret, but for one reason or another never brought it up. Possibly because they had a "better" idea for how to stop the bullying: in the heat of the moment, Nico threatened to kill Ace. I mean, killing the guy is a lot simpler than the blackmail equivalent of mutually assured destruction, and we know how Nico feels about complicated social rules and norms.

-Thankfully Hu stepped in before things escalated further, although her method might have been, uh, flawed. Giving her friend the benefit of the doubt, she blamed Ace for everything and slapped him. Which, yes, Ace was horrible to Nico. But the death threat should probably be addressed, shouldn't it? Or should they "not be forced to apologize for someone else's mistake?"

-One thing led to another, and Nico tried to kill Ace in the gym.

-To be fair, the whole situation is still surrounded in speculation, but they have admitted to it. To be clear, I don't actually think this is the situation their secret quote refers to, since they did say "I shouldn't have done that" in the trial, so they presumably feel enough remorse to feel like maybe they should apologize, even if Ace is far from blameless. Or maybe I'm wrong and this is the situation the quote refers to, who knows.

-Additionally, they never denied stealing Rose's turpentine to pull this off, so it's very possible they did.

-Oh, yeah! Nico and Rose and friends :D (or at least they were before the turpentine thing). They shared an FTE, which only had a 0,4% chance of happening apparently :O

-It's a very sweet one, where they vibe for a few minutes without talking, then call each other cats, and talk about their issues with communicating their feelings. It's revealed Nico has a pet cat named Tractor (because he meows very loudly), which is pretty old, and that they miss other cats they knew before the killing game. Also, when Rose brings up she's scared of what she knows because of her memory, Nico drops this while thinking of the killing game:

Nico [thought]: Everyone here probably is afraid of themselves and what they might end up doing.

Foreshadowing is a narrative device-

-Their numeral in the the David MV is VIII (8), which is "even if I try to think, IDK!!!". Explained at 1:58:22 in this video, though it's not too complex.

-According to Color Theory they get light blue, with the words "cry, cry, idk!!!" I don't think I need to explain why this applies to Nico, who might actually have more crying sprites than the rest of the cast combined (I don't think that's true, but you get the idea). Mood.

-Their birthday, December 19th, lands on National Hard Candy Day, National Harry (yes the name) Day, National Oatmeal Muffin Day, and National Emo Day, among others. At this point I'm no longer surprised by these things.

Fun facts!

-They like cat-themed things and dislike bathtubs. Cat behavior.

-Like most of the cast, they're American, right-handed, their sexuality is unconfirmed and their hair color is natural.

-They don't have a favorite color, as they are not interested in such things, but their least favorite is white. They find it unsettling.

-Nico cuts their own hair, as stated in their FTE.

-Their favorite ice cream flavor is "the flavor." No elaboration. Mood.

-They smell like a kitty-cat.

-Their favorite food is unprocessed and natural food.

Songs!

(I was really tempted to give them some of Muu's songs from Milgram, but whether or not they work depends on what their secret quote actually means so :p)

+The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by Ghost & Pals

+Scapeg∞at by Ghost & Pals

+God-ish by PinnochioP

+Karma by CreepP, CircusP

+Nobody Makes Sense by PinnochioP

+Monster by KIRA (listen evil Nico lives rent free in my head ok?)

+The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion by MASA Works Design (So about the evil Nico thing-)

+And Happy Birthday! Sung by kitties of course.

(Wow I did not have a lot for them rip)

[youngestrunningleek]

Thoughts on Owls, Predators, Prey, and Relatability

I’ve been rereading Kathryn Lasky’s Guardians of Ga’Hoole series recently. It’s fantasy about owls, a la Warriors.

This is not a review. Even though the books have plenty of mice and other small mammals (as food), these are not rat books by any stretch of the imagination.

Still, I have been thinking about xenofiction as a whole— the idea of writing from other species’ POV.

In my childhood, the two biggest series that really got into other species’ heads were Warriors (cats) and Ga’Hoole (owls). I think that’s notable, because when I’ve written my own stories from a rodent’s perspective, it’s pretty difficult.

One great resource for how rats, specifically, experience the world is this website. Basically, they have poor vision but great smell. They also rely a great deal on touch and on their whiskers.

Cats and owls are active at night because they can see in the dark— rats are more likely to be active in the dark because they simply can’t see well even if it’s bright out. They’re also very near-sighted.

One of the first things that makes it easier to relate to predators like owls and cats is that they have senses like ours, or better. It’s less difficult to imagine seeing through an owl’s eyes (and hearing through an owl’s ears, etc) because their most important senses are comparable to our most important senses.

Humans primarily experience the world through sight, and then through hearing. We have language to describe it, too. Even if I can’t hear a mouse’s heartbeat or see by the light of the stars, I can imagine that.

Meanwhile, there’s no good equivalent to a rat sensing the world through whiskers. How do you describe a scene, or a character, when vision isn’t your primary sense? And neither is hearing? We don’t distinguish each other by how we feel or smell.

We have so few words to describe smells, and absolutely no language for “feeling something with whiskers”.

We are oriented toward sight and sound in so many ways. If I wanted to suggest that a character was tough (and maybe someone to be wary of), I could say they have a raspy voice or a towering demeanor or a dozen different facial features, or expressions, or postures. If you had the same character to describe by smell or feel, how would you do that? “They smelled kind of threatening”?

Or, if I’m describing a conversation, I might say “they frowned” or “he looked away” or “she bit her lip”. We don’t have smell-based ways to indicate emotions or thoughts.

Heck, even “feel” is an annoying word because we so often use it for emotions instead of actual tactile sensations.

Now, in fairness, there are plenty of harder comparisons in the other books I mentioned. There’s no human equivalent to cats leaving scent markings on their territory, or owls feeling a landscape through the air currents that rise off of it. Ga’Hoole is full of excellent owl words like “yarping” (spitting up a pellet), or “wilfing” (appearing to shrink because your feathers lie flat).

I will also argue, though, that predators are more relatable because of philosophy.

Owls and cats are predators, like humans. Personally, I’m a vegetarian, and I don’t hunt for anything. But I still have far more in common with predators in how I experience the world.

We’re programmed for this by our biology, in so many ways. We have binocular vision, to better focus on one object in front of us, instead of two wide-set eyes for wider field of view.

Even if my sense of smell is much poorer than a cat’s, I’ve still followed my nose to food plenty of times. But I have never used my sense of smell to avoid a predator. Or, for that matter, my hearing or sight. Because I’m a human! I’m not prey! And neither are the owls and cats in these books.

Meanwhile, if you read about how small mammals experience the world, it’s a lot of focus on staying alive. Mice show up plenty of times in Warriors and Ga’Hoole… as food.

There’s even a way that being a predator feels noble, to humans. National animals are usually not prey animals. It’s raptors and lions and other beasts that we think of as “on top of the food chain”.

Here’s where we return to specifics about Ga’Hoole. In the same way that other fantasy loves having benevolent kings, the fact that all the owls are predators provides a lot of opportunities to (ostensibly) show who’s good and who’s bad.

Nest-maid snakes in these books are a whole thing. It’s a real scientific fact that sometimes owls will bring a snake back to their nest, not eat it, and enter a symbiotic relationship. You could call it commensalism (the snake is benefitting from shelter and eating the bugs in the nest, and the owl is not harmed or helped) or maybe mutualism (the owl gets a clean nest so they both benefit). It’s definitely more like mutualism in Ga’Hoole because they’re anthropomorphized and they like having clean nests.

The issue in Ga’Hoole is that it’s a whole serving class thing. Like, they imply snakes don’t have souls? They could have made it cool and normal but instead repeatedly say that snakes aren’t on the same level socially as owls are. It’s a whole thing.

And, more importantly, they eat snakes! That’s another real scientific fact. In the earlier books they have a few conversations about how the main character, Soren, was raised to never eat snakes. His friends give him grief about it, but that’s the principle he has. It’s good manners.

Think about it, though. It’s seen as noble that he could be eating snakes, and he’s refraining from it.

There’s another conversation about a starfish, and how it would be wrong to bring it home as a decoration. Because that would be killing for decoration, not for survival. They also clue us in that someone is evil when she tortures a mouse instead of just eating it. That’s a huge taboo for them.

I guarantee you that rodents are not having these conversations!

In the same way that we’re conditioned by a million stories to love gentle royalty who treat their servants well (even though, let’s be real, monarchy is a really bad system of government) … I think we’re taught to relate much more to predators than prey.

It makes sense. Why fantasize about being a meal for everything on the face of the Earth, when you could fantasize about being king of the beasts?

Of course, Watership Down is a very notable exception to this. Rabbits aren’t classified as rodents, but I promise the Watership Down review is coming.

Richard Adams stuffed that book with the rabbit outlook on the world. They have words like “silflay”, because of course they’d have a verb for “to go above ground to feed”. They have words like “embleer” as a curse word meaning “the smell of fox”, and it all reflects that they are prey animals. They spend a lot of their time thinking about all the forces that can kill them.

In its own way, playing up the vulnerability makes the characters seem even stronger. How can you not root for them, when they can’t count past four and everything wants to eat them? Even the simplest task is monumentally heroic.

I don’t have a larger conclusion beyond that. Just, that even if we’re technically more closely related to rats… it might be easier for us to relate to owls. But how much of that is innate, and how much is a cultural desire to see ourselves as the ones on top of the food chain? A more honest look at nature sees it as a food web. Everybody decomposes, and there’s no species on top of it all.

As a caveat (cat-veat?), I haven’t read Warriors in many years. And I haven’t finished my reread of Ga’Hoole yet, either. There’s plenty I could have missed.

Also, forgive the inelegant phrasing but: my senses are what people consider typical. Not everyone relies primarily on sight and hearing, and I’d love to hear other peoples’ perspectives.

[jynxeddraca]

Tiefling head canons

Because I'm in a mood and thinking about tieflings makes me happy. Some of these I've thought up independently, some I've seen elsewhere online and can't recall where but I've just folded into my head canons.

Totally got this idea from another person's post but I fully embrace that some tieflings can purr. In those that can it ranges from a noise that's high in the throat or very deep in the chest. I like the idea some can do it at almost a subsonic frequency so there's not any noise but their whole chest/body still vibrates.

Tieflings have dark-vision - therefore they have that cat eye glow in low light/the dark. No I will not accept feedback at this time.

I am always a fan of them having other senses sharper than humans. Not like 'I can smell your blood through your skin from across the room and hear a cricket fart' kind of thing - but definitely pick up on things a human is nearly sure to miss.

Not a fan of tieflings going into a true heat/rut where they go totally 'must fuck now' but them getting a random heightened burst of pheromones now and then after they've been with a partner for a while - especially if there's been a lot of biting involved. Basically it's the tiefling equivalent of women who get really super frisky right around the time they ovulate.

A very common home remedy among tieflings is a mixture of broth, oil, and sulfur - and every family has it's own ratios. In that same vein a common hangover cure is broth, charcoal, and oil.

Diets are the epitome of 'opportunistic'. They prefer meat heavy diets, especially rare/raw red meats, while also enjoy the gristle, bone marrow, and blood. They can eat anything a human could, and quite a bit humans can't. This includes rocks, bones, some things that are mildly toxic/poisonous, and foods that have have gone off with minimal to no ill effects.

Because of previous point - food poisoning is extremely rare for them to get.

Tail body language is just as much apart of conversations as hand gestures and while much of it is similar to cats - meanings can get complicated.

I see horn grabbing/pulling a lot in posts but I don't feel a lot of tieflings as being super comfortable with it if the other person isn't also a tiefling.

Honestly, I see a lot of tieflings being wary about non-tieflings trying to get with them because it seems to me a lot of people in world would either demonize or fetishize their "infernal traits".

That being said, they're also not opposed to relationships outside of other tieflings and some tieflings will happily use people's curiosity/fetishization to their advantage and work at brothels.

If a tiefling has one or both parents who aren't tieflings, then they can take on traits from the non-tiefling parent (ex. one parent is an elf, tiefling kid has a lifespan more akin to a half-elf). They, and their kids, are also more likely to have a kid that does not look like tiefling if they have a baby with another non-teifling.

I fully think that a solid 1/3 of all "surprise" tiefling babies are not because a parent made an infernal pact, but because both parents somewhere in their lineage have a tiefling ancestor and they just don't know.

You've heard of tieflings being raised by humans? Well I think, because of the last two points, the reverse happens as well and you can get what appears to be a fully human/elf child birthed and raised by a tiefling.

Tieflings totally have a higher normal body temp. Probably around the 100F-105F range.

Regardless of how big or small their horns are, their skulls are still thicker for weight distribution. Many tieflings can, and will, headbutt someone in a fight. Even if a horn doesn't hit you - the blow is likely to break a bone in your face and they will not even be fazed.

Headaches and neck/shoulder tension is really, really common both because of the added weight of the horns when they're adults and when the horn itself is first growing in as a kid.

I imagine most tieflings have horns that are primarily made up of a keratin sheath around a much smaller horn bone (like how cow or goat horn are). Because of this they don't have lots of feeling in their horns and some tieflings might pierce their horns in places for decoration.

Some tieflings that have antlers also shed their antlers just like deer do. I will not be taking feedback at this time.

The pattern and shape of ridges on their skin is unique to every tiefling - but most of them tend to appear and follow bones closer to the surface (ribs, hips, knees, elbows, etc)

[queerplatonic-headcanons]

Mod Headcanon: Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, & Clark Kent (aka the World’s Finest)

(It’s no secret I’m not as big of a DC fan as I am of Marvel, so this is gonna be a mashup of various comics, movies, and animated shows, and a small headcanon plotline in the middle there.)

Bruce is AroAce and Trans

Diana is Bi/Pan

Clark is Queer and Nonbinary

Bruce Wayne is Gotham’s most notorious playboy. At least as far as the public is concerned, and Bruce is happy to let them believe it. The truth is unlikely to do any good for his, or the company’s, image. As a child, regardless of the wealth his parents left behind, and an endless number of suitors, of all classes and genders, being thrown at his feet, he preferred solitude to company, would rather pursue knowledge than courtship. He remained much the same through high school and college, until his ‘peers’ started to notice his lack of interest, and he learned to fake it just enough to keep the jackals in the press off his heels. Becoming the Bat was freeing in a way. He sacrificed very little during his training, less than other men had done, at least, and thrived without the expectations and judgment of Gotham’s High Society. He found it harder to keep up the mask of Bruce Wayne when he came back, and spent every party longing for moonlit rooftops. He was never fond of dancing, never liked what it alluded to, the forced intimacy and fumbling hands ever present reminders of desires he couldn’t reciprocate. As the Bat, though, he wasn’t beholden to the expectations of what a man should want or be, all people asked of him was justice, protection, a knight in shadowed armour. There was one like him, a Cat with expensive tastes, who feigned hunger the way he did, who saw right through his façade, left him with the knowledge that he wasn’t alone, and promised him a partner who wanted nothing beyond a dance.

He wasn’t thinking about optics when he adopted Dick, but having an heir put an end to the ever-increasing pressure from his contemporaries and the media to “think about his legacy”. Though children were never part of his original plan, he found that fatherhood suited him well, and for most of his children he was able to skip the unpleasant part of making the kid. He never resented or regretted Damian, but he never forgave Talia. She didn’t take no for an answer, and when he wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she took it. Clark and Diana learned very quickly not to press that particular subject.

Diana had always loved without regard to gender, though she never gave it much thought until she left Themyscira, because it was not something that was ever taboo. There were many things she found strange about humans, but the way they treated love with so much hatred she could never comprehend. The amazons knew of all kinds of love, and the most revered bond was that between sisters in arms: not just warriors who fought together, but those whose bond was so strong they fought as one. Diana longed for that connection, never found it in Themyscira, almost had it with Steve, and finally found it in Bruce and Clark.

Bruce especially reminded her of a fellow amazon she had once loved dearly, and thought she might share that warrior’s bond with. It was centuries before she left the island herself, and he had confessed to her that he’d never felt like the woman everyone mistook him for, and she could see how desperately he wanted to be free of the expectations others placed on him. She knew the feeling to a certain extent. So she helped him flee Themyscira, and still holds out hope she may one day find him here, in the world of man, and that he would understand her joy at having found that bond she had once looked for in him.

Growing up, Clark always felt a disconnect between the gender their Ma and Pa told them they were and the way they felt on the inside. When they learned of their heritage, they figured it must be an alien thing, which it was. Kind of. There was no exact human equivalent for the kryptonian concepts of gender, but some spelunking through google landed them with a few helpful words: nonbinary, xenogender, and singular they.

Clark had always thought everybody was pretty, but tried to ignore the feelings that would get a ‘boy’ living in rural Kansas into trouble. They did confide in Ma and Pa, who were amazing about it, but they didn’t feel like their parents would ever completely understand. The whole ‘actually an alien’ thing definitely helped explain the gender thing, but left them conflicted as to whether they found everybody pretty because their own gender was ‘different’ to everyone else’s, or if their gender and others’ didn’t factor into it at all. Eventually they settled on being just plain Queer and went on with their life.

Lois broke it off because, though she did love them, try as she might, she was straight, and she just couldn’t love them the way they loved her, seeing as she was only attracted to men, something they just weren’t. The two stayed friends, and eventually Lois was the one that gave them the final push to talk out their feelings with Diana and Bruce.

Their attraction to the two was another thing that they thought, at first, was another weird alien thing. They knew after the first meeting they found them both distractingly pretty, and after getting to know them, they could feel themself falling deeply in… something. It felt like love but they also knew that, try as they might, whatever this was was very much not romantic or sexual, and they had plenty of experience with what those felt like, this just… wasn’t that. It wasn’t until after another intensive round of googling that Clark found that what they were feeling was just as human as it was Kryptonian.

It was Clark who finally got the ball rolling, sat the other two down and confessed all they had been feeling and said, in no uncertain terms, what they wanted, the relationship they hoped to pursue. Diana was delighted to find that humans(and, evidently, Kryptonians) had a similar bond in their society to the one she was hoping for with the warriors near to her. Bruce was the hardest to convince, not because he didn’t reciprocate, he very much did, but because they couldn’t quite believe that they really only wanted a, what had Clark called it? A QPR with him and nothing… beyond that. Though he hadn’t said anything about it, Clark and Diana were quite sure now that Talia had not been the only one is Bruce’s life who struggled with the word “No.”

It took a while and a lot of reassuring, but Bruce eventually allowed himself to believe them, and agreed to what turned out to be, their opinion, at least, the World’s Finest QPR.

[hexagonalhavoc]

Can I request the hex Character's Reaction of the reader that's able to purr in their sleep

Hex Characters reacting to the Reader purring in their sleep

Lionel: 

The first time it happens he’s so confused because he doesn’t know where the strange sound is coming from. 

He gets curious and does research to see if what you can do is even scientifically possible.

“So Google says purring happens when air stimulates a cat’s larynx in a way that causes low-frequency oscillations in the vocal cords. But Google also says that humans can’t purr so how do you do it!?” 

It kinda bothers him that there’s no logical explanation for how you’re able to purr but he also thinks it’s kinda cool.

Carla: 

Carla will ask you so many questions about it. 

“Can you do it on command or is it something that happens randomly? When did you start doing this? Is it something you’ve always knew how to do?”

Buys you a bunch of cat related stuff because now she associates you with cats.

She loves to talk about you to other people and she will tell everyone she knows about your purring. 

“Oh your partner can speak four languages? That’s whatever but can they purr? Mine can therefore I have the superior partner.” 

Reggie: 

Reggie loves to listen to your purring. He’ll turn off the music in the gramophone just to listen to you. 

He’ll ramble about it to anyone in the inn who’s willing to listen. He can’t help but talk about you because you’re his pride and joy. 

Jeremiah:

Jeremiah can’t explain why but it fascinates him. 

I headcanon that he journals his thoughts and experiences down. He uses up two pages in his journal just talking about your purring. 

He probably has a “Y/n Encyclopedia” in his journal so he can always remember the little things about you. 

Also his hand writing is very hard to read cursive, it’s too fancy.

Chef Bryce: 

Bryce doesn’t like being in a place that’s completely silent so your purring is there perfect background noise for him. 

It’s a calming sound for him because if you’re purring it means that you’re relaxed therefore he can feel relaxed and safe. 

After everything he’s been through he’s always on guard and it’s hard for him to relax but your purring makes him sleepy.

Lazarus: 

Lazarus doesn’t comment on it much but he does like the sound of your purring. 

It takes him a while to figure out you can purr because he sleeps with you. 

When he hears it for the first time he looks all around the room trying to figure out where that sound is coming from only to realize it’s coming from you. 

Chandrelle: 

Chandrelle likes to tease you about it in a playful way but if someone is mean to you about it she will fight them. 

Hearing you purr always makes her smile. 

Sado: 

Sado is good at mimicking people’s appearance and voices meaning she can replicate your purring. 

She might start purring like you without realizing she’s doing it.

She’ll start patting your head like you’re a cat unless you don’t want her to.

She thinks it’s absolutely adorable and encourages you to do it even if your purring is super loud.

Irving: 

Irving is annoyed by it at first until he learns that it’s something you do when you’re feeling comfortable. 

If there’s time where you don’t purr when you’re sleeping he assumes that it means you’re uncomfortable. 

“Irving do we really need this many blankets?” 

“Depends, do you think we need more?” 

I feel like his love language would be acts of service.

First Person Perspective: 

It might not seem like he has a reaction but he does. His way of showing that he’s flustered is when he  fidgets with his own hands.

He’ll lean closer to you in order to hear your purring better. 

I think if he had a pen and paper to communicate with you he’d write down “Purr” when he feels happy or relaxed with you as he’s not the best at articulating his words.

His equivalent of purring might also be to tap his fingers against something.

Rust McClain: 

Rust has seen some freaky things in Waste World so your purring isn’t too surprising to him but he still thinks that it’s cool. 

If you’re not a human character he’ll ask about what your species is. 

It becomes very comforting sound to him, it’s his favorite sound to fall asleep to. 

He tries to imitate your purring but he isn’t very good at it. 

[woozygolden]

If inupara ever actually happens I will be salivating at the mouth. Not particularly because I like the characters so much, haven’t gotten to know them yet, but because of what it would mean for my little Nekopara head world. I would be ignoring what the plot is, apparently a man gets sent to another world where his dogs are dog girls (I don’t give a shit about that kind of plot it’s boring and doesn’t fit at all with the way animal people have come about in the Nekopara games) and instead I would be imaging that they are in the same world as Nekopara. That being said, just imagine!! They’ve made another species of human animal hybrid to enslave. For what purpose? Just as slaves, or do dog people have a more specific job? How far would they go? Is the government eventually going to make half human half aquatic creature slaves to do jobs underwater? Think about all the different jobs that we have trouble doing and then think about the fact that they are willing to create humans who can do that job and force them to work especially because they have no human rights. And when does it come about that they release dog people? Cat people already haven’t been around too long it seems in Nekopara. Do they see the “success” that the cat people have been and decide that it’s time for another option for slaves? What if they release them right before the cat people revolution? Or right after? What if the cat people find them stuck in some facility somewhere, maybe even the facility that Project: NEKOPANTHERA happened in? How would cat people feel about dog people? Would they be split? Would some feel that they’re people all the same as them? Would some feel they’re lesser? Would some feel they didn’t have to fight as long or at all for their freedom and therefore don’t deserve it? Do some of the cat people who have firm beliefs that they should act like actual cats hate dogs just on principle? Would dog and cat people have to work for piece between them just like they did with humans? Or maybe it’d be the complete opposite. Maybe the dog and cat people would band together, hand and hand, to defeat the humans. Would they attempt to destroy all humans in Japan? Would the cat people have done that anyway, without dog people? A question I still have do dog and cat people create allergies? Do dog people have a different culture than cat people? Do they have different natural customs? Would there be dog people who believe they should act like dogs, would there be gangs of dog people? Do dog people have an equivalent to Orange Cat Syndrome? How bad is their disability? Would it be harder for dog people to go against humans because of their intrinsic loyalty? Is that why the Japanese goverment made them???? Because they could see the cat people were drifting away so they thought replacing them with loyal dog people would fix the problem??? Was the goverment planning to eradicate cat people before they revolted??? Would they see the revolt coming???? Would it be war instead of takeover?? Dear god so many questions so many thoughts oh now I feel like I need it to come out so I can get to know the characters and then when I finish tiny fissures (If I ever do lmao) I can start to write one where directly after the cat people revolution as the dust is settling they find the dog people and they have to figure out the dog peoples place in the world maybe a few cat people even KISS the dog people and everyone is happy

[fuumiku]

hiiiii you don't need to reply to this i just wanted to say thank you for the kimbliza :)c its always refreshing to see riza rarepairs and i think your brain is huge for liking kimblee/riza ... i rarely see people being interested in it and i think thats a shame when they only have one interaction in the entire series BUT it is kimblee calling riza out on her bullshit while also calling her ojouchan/little lady like cmon... just that leaves possibility for such an interesting dynamic.... and im personally obsessed with the valentines day art bc this meme instantly came to my mind when i saw it LMAO anyway!! thanks again for sharing your kimbliza i hope to get to see more of your art/thoughts of them!!! have a nice day!!

Omg thank you so much! :D I don’t usually answer asks like these out of self-consciousness but the meme is too accurate to keep to myself and you are sooo right! I loved your tags as well lol they gave me a good chuckle.

I can’t find the post again, but I once read a post that went like "the reason that you’re both touch-starved and touch-averse is that you’ve spent so long without human touch that you interpret every contact as a threat" and I really do think that fits them both. Hehe might as well put a song I love here that fits them and this theme really well: Touch by July Talk

If you want more of my thoughts, @fumifooms is the blog to look at! I’ll link my kimbliza tag on there here. I recently did a sort of masterpost of kimbliza crumbs in canon because I am starved. I’ll also shout out @tombraxas because they churn out awesome kimbliza posts and fanfictions regularly! I owe it to them for having radicalized me as a kimbliza shipper lol

Kimblee literally meaningfully impacted Riza’s character fundamentally so hard like damn!! For a rarepair that is a massive win. Idk the interaction they had feels so special. I do think people tend to forget that Kimblee doesn’t say the things he does out of malice, ouugh he’s so interesting!! I think Kimblee and Riza have soo many parallels actually. Blunt and strong convictions vs quiet, reserved and a follower. Both ready to kill their superior/commanding officer if the situation demands it. His iconic “don’t avert your eyes from the dead” speech was originally meant for her not Roy and no one can take any of this away from me. I’m like Denji eating the cake with my hands lolol. The flavor kimbliza has is simply unmatched. Riza is my special wet cat little war criminal princess (Wet cat and war criminal have the same first letters, if not equivalent then explain 🤨 /j)

I do plan on making more kimbliza art yes! I actually have a few actual Valentine’s day themed ones in the works lol. I’m rather slow and busy though… ;w; Also fics! I’ve already made two short ficlets, see them on my ao3! I’ve been hyperfixating on them for like 2 months now with no sign of stopping… I have so many wips. My kimbliza spotify playlist is my longest playlist ever 😭 I scoured both ao3 and ff.net and read everything about them I could find. I may be obsessed.

[captainsnakepants]

Normally I just yell in the tags to keep my dust off someone else's post, and, more important, out of OP's notifs, but I have a lot to share about this that would otherwise be lost in the sea of tags of other people expelling their delight over a thing so pure as interspecific play.

This is not exclusive to humans, first off, so write that down. Interspecific cooperation is something that has been observed in many species, most notably the coyote and badger, who work together to trap prey in burrows that is too fast for the lumbering badger, but the hole is too small for the lank coyote to squeeze.

For a long time, I have suspected that many, many animals are much, much more "human" than we give them credit for. Not in the sense that they express human emotion the same way, but that they have their own ways of expressing complex thoughts and feelings and solving problems. Now, when I put it that way, it sounds like a no brainer. Of course animals have feelings and think about things.

But therein lies a problem. The language barrier. We as humans suffer a severe lack of polyglottic capability when that language is no longer one we recognize as such. We understand our pets, and extensive study into animal psychology has been done to make it easier, but a cat or a dog has done the unthinkable: they meet us in the middle. Dogs use facial expressions to get their point across where wolves use their tails. Domestic cats have dozens of noises they use just for us, because we don't have tails or mobile ears to emote with and the best we can do is mimic their noises.

Dolphins, crows, and many other touted-as-intelligent animals don't meet us in the middle. We have to learn their language without the animal equivalent of them learning some of ours. We have to rely purely on reference and guesswork.

So my proposal is this: what if animals are all just as intelligent and complex as we are, and we just don't see it because of our strict, anthropocentric way of thinking? Fish can be trained. So can many reptiles. Who's to say that even a spider or an insect has the capacity to feel complex emotions like joy or grief? It might not be how we experience it, but many keepers have been documented saying their animals have preferences.

It's not a large leap, then, to say if these "simple" animals have culinary preferences, then they also are capable of complex thoughts and paths of logic.

Dolphins doing cartwheels with an aquarium guest.

(via Ant.Giovanni)

[danny-and-hisshadow]

I have thought about this character for years, on occasion I think about her costume,her backstory is sparse but she exists,might have made her once before but abandoned the idea, cause I wasn't satisfied. Today I sat down and drew her out.

I think one of her titles is definitely kinslayer!

I have to give her a new name, don't remember the old one.

Her back story is that she was a 8 tailed kumiho kitsune who was only a couple of years away from becoming immortal.

She had this kind of personality:

'every one is beneath me,I'm gods gift to mankind if I decided to interact with it'

' i don't associate with lesser beings'

' humans are just impudent monkeys'

'humans and spirits are beneath my notice'

kind of being (she's not human, has no interest in becoming a fox wife , he had no human form in her entire life, has barely even seen humans, pretty much pampered by simps of her kind) her kind are equivalent to the fair folk just Japanese instead.

She got impatient, just got over eager, she didn't want to wait anymore so she went looking for a way to speed up the process,or rather got a boy toy to search out a answer to her problem.

Wasn't long until a solution was discovered, win a tail from another tailed being. Most Kitsune would never bet their tails that they have been collecting all their lives, the rare few who would had been conned by humans already or lost them in games rendering them mortals.

So they look at other animals instead of fox spirits, my character conveniently shows up,he's a twin tailed cat with three tails at that moment in time, more than his kind normally have. He's basically a overachiever for his kind,he young and bolder than he should be.

He's targeted by the simp kitsunes, issued a challenge on the queen to bee's behalf. This isn't kept secret and a gathering collects,eager to watch the queen wannabe ascend into immortality.

Blaise just wants to have 😊 fun, he doesn't know the stakes for winning or losing,this gambling game he was told about sounds like a chance to have fun, not knowing that to lose is like having a part of one's soul ripped away, an spiritual energy division,if you will.

He arrives at the location, the kumiho kitsune fanning her tails, her simps helped her achieve a humanoid form and are helping her walk upright for the first time,they dressed her in clothes fit for a empress.

Other than her , kitsunes sit around the area to watch them, wanting to see her ascend into the equivalent of divinity. Blaise feels she's overdressed, and is beginning to think betting one of his tails for hers isn't fair, she has eight and he only has three,the best is no where near even he voices .

Believing she will win and feeling he is close to backing out,she offers six tails to his one, to sweeten the deal. The audience is astonished at this clearly. So they get to Playing the game, an equivalent to mahjong 🀄 and dominos and tile pieces.

They play for 3 days til she wins...

She's smiling with malice and cruelty at Blaise, ready to rip his tail off and ascend into the power she feels she deserves..

Only for a little kitsune child to yell that she cheated!

The crowd checks as she denied it, many times , her simps denied it, it takes checking for illusions before Blaise is declared winner.

The kumiho kitsune is forced to hold true to the agreement of the game , forced to give Blaise her six tails instead of gaining one of his.

Blaise gains immortality and eternal youth in front of the crowd.

Wannabe queen is devastated,that should have been her. Her simps only simped for her because she had 8 tails.

The crowd of kitsune look upon Blaise in awe and distaste, he won the game because she cheated. But he isn't a kitsune like they are.

He's the first of his kind,and a cat at that.

no one likes cats in this group, they all expected him to lose, but a child had made them reveal the truth.

She blames Blaise for everything despite it being because her simps convinced her this was a good idea. Later she has him exiled from Japan by the magical hidden side and wants to ruin his life.

[the-exiled-comic]

When fishpaw gets older will she look even more like her grandma? Her design looks pretty solid tho so maybe not plus she’s already old enough to be a warrior which brings up my other question: have you thought about how old is fishpaw or the others in cat years? How old in cat years are apprentices when they are made warriors? Do you have like a sheet of how old the cats would be if they were humans? And if you don’t no pressure of course I’m just curious lol

She would look a little more like her grandma as she gets a older yeah! Her design is pretty solid but I like to think she would look a little different post-comic

Fishpaw and Rockfall I would put at close to 2 years old, maybe like 20-22 months. And Petalsong is only 2 months younger than them I'd say it depends on the peer group when apprentices are declared done training, since it may be more appropriate to give the group more time to train or less time if they are ready early. Somewhere around 18-20 months would be a standard new warrior age

As for human age equivalents that's difficult to me since cats age really quickly at first and then like, nothing really changes typically as they age when theyre well cared for. The age guesstimates is something I think I've said many times but idk where, so hopefully I don't contradict myself. For Fishpaw and her brother I would age them at 19 maybe eeking onto 20, and Petalsong only a year younger.

Fallenscar and Doveheart would be like late 20s Cloverfall and her siblings + Halfshadow would be early 30s. Sandywing and Coralclaw I'd say late 30s/early 40s. Pebblerun, Springflower, and Firespots would be in their early 50s Crowstar and Whisperleaf would be around 60s And then Emberpelt is the oldest in her 70s

I kind of imagine its a fast jump up to 20 due to the very quick maturing and then they start to age more slowly from there. Like for example, Cloverfall trained Fallenscar. She wouldve been like 19 taking him on, but I can't logically age her at 40 because she's just... not. Cloverfall was still really young when she died.

Again, its very difficult to age them very accurately due to the nature of cats having such wide lifespan ranges. Indoor only cats can easily live past 15 no problem if they are healthy, and I try to base clan cats lifespans more on indoor cats due to their advanced society where they care for each other and have medicine.

It bugs me that in canon warriors the cats are like geriatric at age 10 or earlier, i've literally never seen a 10 year old cat be the equivalent of an 85 year old person. Cats dont really age like that, usually when they die younger it's because something killed them or bc they had a disease/ailment that likely has little to do with age. In my comic, cats can choose to retire if they want to after they've served many years but theyre still active and can clean and feed themselves much like real life retired people often do. It's kind of like a "you earned the right to take it easy, you've served your community well" thing.