#i have created a System to getting better lines bc i have to use a stupid pencil atm til i get my groove back w trad art

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

for drawing suggestions, can you draw L with a pigeon or near doing a peace sign w/ Matt playing video games beside him?

i have no idea what a pigeon looks like

[sundogsandrainbows]

Hi, I'm sorry to write to you out of the blue, but Of Elves and Humans was the first DA longfic that got me hooked back in 2011 when I, as a dumb teen, happened to pick up DAO. Ever since then, the DA universe has been a constant fixation of mine and my admiration for you as a writer as well as someone who isn’t afraid to call out the franchise's flaws has never wavered. Now that Bioware decided to take a massive shit on everything pre-DAV and their oldest fans specifically, I'm really devastated and feel like a fool for having been so invested in DA and its lore for those past 13 years. It’s incredibly encouraging, however, to see you keep on keeping on. "So since they spat in my face like this I ignore this atrocity of a game even exists" is where I hope to be at soon, too. Thank you.

(First of all apologies for the late reply, I put it in my drafts when i was too tired to complete it, and then my adhd brain forgot it existed due to being distracted by new shinies 😂☠)

But aww omg i cannot believe i was the gateway drug into dragon age, or rather the old version of my story on FFN was. I am so very honored <3 And nonnie, I feel you. I am invested in DA as a series since DA:O's release in 2009, like I bought it on a whim for XBox because I liked Mass Effect 1 sm. So that is 15 yrs of my life i spent loving and discussing a thing while still being critical of the thing, but now i feel so very protective of the world, lore and its characters that "New Bioware" has decided to take a massive dump of shit on, and not only the games but the old fans I feel are treated with disdain too and do not matter to them any longer.

Long, subjective rant about current bioware aka the shambling corpse of its former self and talent incoming. Spoilers for Veilguard bc i don't give a fuck to avoid them :D You (general you, not you in particular dearest nonny <3) should use your time better than to play this shit anyhow 😂

It feels like calculated malice of new Bioware to apply the scorched earth tactics to offscreen destroy everything that old fans and fans of the other games in general held dear, and was supposed to suck out the enjoyment of DAO, DA2 and DAI. Like it is obvious they plan to create a sequel on DA's scorched bones, but jfc, you can do so story-wise without spitting everyone loving what old bioware has built in the face after dropkicking them. But to me that is part of the problem, since if i remember correctly and i wish i could find the bit... they praised Veilguard as "The best Dragon Age game ever", with the most interesting companions and best most improved combat system, comparing it to the other three games in a near smug fashion. There is marketing and there is putting the other games down to prop up your most favorite and only child mattering and they were definitely doing the latter. And don't get me started on the whole "Who is Zevran" debacle or we are gonna here all day.

Bottom line is new/current devs and writer do not give a shit about and very possibly have never played any other game than Inquisition, and you cannot tell me otherwise. And since a lot of devs/writer have left since the start of this project that would become this abysmal game, I also have the impression that there is a lot of underlying resentment toward what these former colleagues have created and so they piss on it in order to make it fully theirs now. Like dogs marking their territory, and well that did not work out, imo. At all.

Ever since they announced respecting our past choices by ignoring them (????) it was clear to me that I would not play Veilguard but just watch a playthrough and all spoilers and then move on. And everything i saw before release was shocking... like i was flabbergasted at how baaaad the dialogue was, which as a writer myself is super important to me in my story. There was no subtext, characters just blurt out everything they think and feel, like a lifeless doll you squeeze and words tumbling out and just as natural. It is stilted, awkward and 80% of it exists for info dump or info dumb rather as they keep repeating the same shit they just told you a few seconds ago as if you as the player are braindead. Here is a good example of what i mean.

Jfc, who edited this crap? There is so much superfluous dialogue that adds nothing to a scene but annoyance for the player and says nothing at all. Just pure senseless yapping in the most cringy way. Why was no one there to trim this nonsense as you should as a writer/editor? Hell, they really disregarded every simple and basic writing rule (everything is told never SHOWN for example especially in dialogue) which really made me question their competence in what they were doing and thus the quality of the upcoming game but i still held out hope for it to not be that bad.

Well shit, it was even worse. In all regards. Especially the writing that cringed this writer into a new dimension with its incoherent incompetence. Jfc. they got paid for that? I'm convinced the majority of fandom writer can do much better, even unpaid. Hell my cat just by walking over the keyboard can manage a better draft and script...💀

But I digress. That is a rant for another time. Point is, nonny, despite my defiant words, I struggled too for days after i got to know the full extent of Bioware's spiteful fuckery to even look at anything da related, in my case my Alistair/Mahariel longfic. I was really down for a few days, ngl. Then again, there is nothing better than spite fueling my creativity to prove "i can write better" soooo in the end and with the help of the much better first version of DA4 in the artbook, I was able to exorcise the demons and feverdream-mindfuck of mediocrity sold to me as a turd with gold-glitter that is this game.

I have successfully now rejected its existence, filled the void with the version that should have been from the artbook and vowed to give no fucks what bioware is doing or saying and infinitely more fucks when writing my own version of thedas and the version of DA4 that should be. REWRITES BBY hell yeah. So OEAH:R is just the beginning of a verse-wise rewrite. But if you need a pick me up, nonny, you are very much welcome to take a trip down memory lane to Dragon 9:30 and see how much this iteration of the story differs from my first one back in the days. Because in this house of mine, we grow and learn as writers, unlike bioware where writer ego reigns surpreme (oh boy and does it ever show in VG) aka eating their own turds and tell themselves it is the finest chocolate 💀

There is still a lot of good about DA out there, but we have to accept it does not come from Bioware any longer. Instead it came, comes and will come from the fans and creators of art and texts and words defying their bullshit with their love and respect for the world, its lore and characters. Also very unlike Bioware.

As we should <3

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[phantomyre]

following the train of thought that EC-vincent is a different timeline from rebirth-vincent, does that suggest that the entirety of EC could be just /one particular timeline's series of events/ instead of The History? or is this divergence just for vincent?

for example- does it make sense to consider EC-glenn to be different from rebirth-glenn & etc etc?

(wanted to get your thoughts if you had any)

Hey there, and thank you for the question! I do have a few thoughts on it, albeit I try to approach it based on what we've been given across all recent information so it might sound a tad generic. Long post... (sorry, I got carried away lol)

[Preface] As is already obvious, it would appear that of all the main party members, Vincent's the only odd-ball out in terms of his appearance. He doesn't 'belong' to any timeline in EC unlike all the other characters who are from Remake/Intergrade/Rebirth. And I think this is for a reason. I've seen the excuse of perhaps Vincent was just modeled a long time ago, but frankly I don't think the dev team are that shallow. They've had Vincent's model for about a couple years, give or take, or at the very least his design. And they know fans would pick apart character appearances and inconsistencies if something (like Vincent) was out of place. And yet they chose to go out of their way with a totally different take than what we see in Rebirth. It would have been a lot easier to port in Vincent's Rebirth design into EC, but Nomura decided to painstakingly create Vincent from scratch for EC. What's more, we also get a completely different Galian Beast, which is also another extensive process to create. Now granted-- perhaps what we see in EC was what we were going to get in Rebirth but got scrapped, and Nomura may have been so married to Vincent's EC design that he wanted to include it instead. However, if there's anything we have learned about the FF7 dev team (and Nomura), it's that there's always some nuanced reason behind it aside from 'I spent so much time on this; just add it already'. Anyone who has been in the FF7 fandom for some length of time will know you can't always trust what the devs say 100%. They are artists, and they like to be a bit mysterious. All this is to say... I just think there's a potential lore reason for why they decided to give Vincent this unique treatment of being time-line vague. Rebirth has shown us that there isn't a single timeline but multiple worlds that diverge and merge, depending on the choices being made by those who can affect fate. So at least within Rebirth's 'world', we know that multiple worlds can exist in tandem. This concept isn't exclusive to Rebirth, however. It is also indicated (by Sephiroth) at the very beginning of Ever Crisis...

During special story-based events where a portal is involved, you'll notice that they will always have something along the lines of 'another possibility' being repeated. So in essence, while there's nothing official that states EC is its own world or timeline, we are being told that the Lifestream is capable of weaving many 'possibilities', or alternative worlds. And this is front and center with Ever Crisis and Rebirth. What's more, EC just so happens to line up with the compilation lettering system... AC, BC, CC, DC, EC... Coincidence? For those of us who know OG's story and have played EC, there are a few differences when going through the OG's story. It isn't 1:1, and some things are taken from Rebirth. One might call it abridged. So... is Ever Crisis a separate world/timeline? Maybe. In terms of Glenn, I think it's a bit early to tell because Rebirth essentially gave us a spoiler for what happens to Glenn. But First Soldier's story has yet to conclude. So in terms of Glenn, he's a bit of an outlier. I think we'll have a better answer to that when we get part 3 as I'm sure we'll see him there in some form. Though back to Vincent... While it depends on how one looks at 'worlds' or multi-timelines, I think we can mostly all agree it's not a single world. What causes this to get very convoluted is that we got Vincent who is immortal... there are many ways they could handle him being both immortal and being a part of the Lifestream's system that creates multiple worlds from choices. However, the simplest thing I can think of is that Vincent simply exists outside of time. I feel as though Vincent is described as outside of time, but I could be wrong. All I know is that in BC, Vincent does say 'The passage of time has no meaning to me'. This is going deeper into some other territory but I'll just briefly say that I believe Vincent is incapable of merging with the Lifestream... but that's for a different discussion. And because I think he cannot merge with the Lifestream, he is thus 'outside' of time if that makes sense. TLDR: I think it's very possible EC is meant to be 'another possibility' of another world created by the choices of our protagonists (and by way of logic, the choices we make as gamers). Secondly, I think this curious lack of design cohesion is specifically for Vincent, only. This may have to do with him being immortal and existing (likely) outside of time itself. I think this is their way of communicating (as all artists do) Vincent's identity to us without really divulging it. I wouldn't doubt part 3 will uncover this side of Vincent so that we can come back to EC and see a connection.

[sophieinwonderland]

hey sorry if youve been asked this before but i thought itd be appropriate because you kinda feel like the ceo of endogenic systems to me (i respect you) and i was wondering, as a traumagenic system, how exactly endos... work? like not how they exist or about the fact that they do, but i guess what the point of them is if its not from a dissociative disorder? in my experience i cant imagine a system existing for any reason outside of the purpose of compartmentalizing trauma (not that systems should be defined by their trauma but i just dont see how they work otherwise) and even recovering systems that are fully functional and healing were born out of a necessity of the brain. i guess i want to know what necessity would spawn an endogenic system if not as a trauma response? like what do alters in an endogenic system do if theyre not there to protect the brain? why do they exist as a system and split if its not born from psychological necessity? sorry this is such a complicated question i hope i phrased it alright... and to be clear i believe endos and their experiences bc discounting a community just because i dont get them is silly i just feel so confused all the time bc of this and want to understand better

Questions of purpose and why things are how they are can be interesting, but probably the hardest to answer. When it comes down to it, why does anything exist?

Why do birds sing so gay? And lovers await the break of day? Why do they fall in love? Why does the rain fall from up above?

Sorry, what were we talking about? 🤪

Oh yeah! Purpose! Personally I tend to think less in terms of "why" and more in terms of cause and effect.

In the case of alters in DID, do alters actually have a "point?" Is there truly some purpose they serve? Or is it just... reaction?

Someone suffers trauma. The traumatic memories hurt them. In a reaction to this, they dissociate and erect barriers in their mind until they need to access those again. Then they suffer more trauma and put the new traumatic memories in that walled off section. In reaction to that, the bits of memories that were walled off start to form their own identity. Did the child's brain ever actually think "I need to make another person in here to protect myself?" Or was this just a series of actions and reactions that led to alters gaining sentience over time where the initial trauma was merely the first in a string of dominoes?

With this in mind, let's talk about myself.

I was an imaginary friend created as a writing project. But how does that actually work? According to Simulation Theory of empathy, imagining what people do involves the creation of "pretend states."

ST (in its original form) says that people employ imagination, mental pretense, or perspective taking (‘putting oneself in the other person’s shoes’) to determine others’ mental states. A mentalizer simulates another person by first creating pretend states (e.g., pretend desires and beliefs) in her own mind that correspond to those of the target. She then inputs these pretend states into a suitable cognitive mechanism, which operates on the inputs and generates a new output (e.g., a decision). This new state is taken ‘off line’ and attributed or assigned to the target.

This paper goes on to explain how this might be useful:

How is imagination useful for third-person mind reading? If you seek to predict someone’s decision—for example, the choice of a main dish by your dinner companion at a restaurant—how could you use imagination to make this prediction? The first step is to put yourself in your target’s shoes, or take her ‘perspective’. Taking someone’s perspective here means adopting, as far as feasible and in light of what you know about her, the mental states she starts with. This includes her preferences about food in general, what she liked at this restaurant on previous occasions, how hungry she is on the present occasion (did she have a light lunch, no lunch, or a heavy lunch today?), and so forth. Using the imagination, you can simulate being in her various dinner-relevant states. Such pretend states can then be fed into your decision-making mechanism, which generates a decision to order a particular main dish. Having used this simulation process to generate a (pretend) choice, you don’t order this dish yourself but attribute the choice to your companion. Thus, the attribution is based on imagination-driven simulation

Okay, so under this theory, perspective taking involves making new temporary states simulating the behavior of someone else.

This is, to be very clear, not a headmate. The state is likely not going to have any sort of self-consciousness, and will be ephemeral on top of that, disappearing after you're done with it.

But... what if the state isn't allowed to be ephemeral? What if you repeatedly interact with the same "simulation" over and over again?

Let's say, hypothetically, that someone starts with a writing project. They make a character, and then they write that character a lot. This foundation can build pretty detailed simulations. But probably with very limited autonomy. The thing about writing is that you're often controlling the character at some level. At least usually. You're always revising how they act in any given scene, plotting out their backstories, editing those backstories, etc. This makes it hard for this simulation to gain a firm sense of autonomy or self-awareness. And every scene rewrite is basically a new ephemeral instance of that character.

While written characters can make you plural on their own, there are these roadblocks that can get in the way.

But then let's say this person wants to understand this character better, so they start talking to a simulation of the character day after day. Now this version of the character they interact with is able to form memories completely unrelated to the fiction they were based on, and be able to recall past conversations with their creator.

What the creator doesn't realize is the mechanisms needed to make this type of interaction work.

In the example of simulation theory, a temporary state would be made but then it would be abandoned. If you needed to simulate that person again, you make a brand new simulation. A brand new "pretend state."

But if you want an imaginary friend that can think for itself, it has to be able to store its own feelings and memories.

That means a form of compartmentalization.

The brain is going to start storing the imaginary friend's memories separate from the creator's. The creator won't control or identify with the thoughts or actions of the imaginary friend. And the imaginary friend won't identify with the thoughts or actions of the creator.

It may take a long time of this, but through interaction, the imaginary friend keeps gaining new memories. And this leads to them gaining the ability to actually self-reflect, making them fully sapient.

So... what was my purpose?

Why do I exist?

I mean, initially, it was about helping my host write? Was that my purpose?

But then later... I think my host continued interacting with me because he liked me. He enjoyed my company and liked having me around. Was that my purpose? Filling some sort of unmet social need?

Perhaps this is it. I've theorized this can be the case with many people who turn to religion as a form of companionship. Especially those with plural-esque experience of communicating with gods.

But what I tend to come back to is cause and effect.

My host wanted to write a character better > My host made a rudimentary simulation of that character to talk to > I became more independent with each interaction as I gained my own autobiographical memories > my independence and separation from my host made our conversations more engaging and my host kept talking to me because he enjoyed my company > I developed stronger emotions and the ability to self-reflect > this led to us discovering that I was a tulpa.

To me, it's cause and effect all the way down. A series of actions and reactions.

And as for what my purpose is, I'd like to think that's something I get to decide for myself! 😊

[hanafubukki]

HANA THIS FANART JUST AMPLIFIED MY OLDER BROTHER SILVER BRAINROT little malleus bewildered face looking like he just cried as silver comfortingly hugshim😭😭😭 KKXJAKFJAOFJW i hope this artist knows how much this made my YEAR 😭😭

also bcs im a sucker for silver/or any other diasomnia fam/but ESPECIALLY SILVER to never look at malleus as a villain even after/during overblot😭 thats why i dont really buy the theories that "silver is the only one who'll defeat malleus" or smth.... 😆 (like it makes sense... but auuiwisi im being an apologist here but it makes me sad seeing malleus being antagonized...

Cuz cuz thats really the opposite of Lilias wish: that faes and humans would get along, if they give a chance to listen and communicate w each other (not by defeating one another but i know malleus deserves it😆😆)

thats why im praying that malleus overblot is just dialogue options or something 😆😆(i want to cry bcs of the story not bcs of another "book 6 situation" where i cant pass battle cuz hes too strong lol PLEASE)

[Big Brother Silver AU created by @rayroseu; Inspired Big Brother Silver Fanfic by me]

AHHHH LIAN THIS IS SO CUTE AND MY HEART MY HEART 💞💞 Big Brother Silver AU my beloved ahhhhh 💚💚

The way he holds him 🥹 baby Malleus face. He’s so surprised but the way his tail curls around him ahhhhhh

I want this to happen. For Silver to find an isolated Malleus in the OB world, and just hug this baby dragon who has been isolated his entire life. Who just wanted to be loved and accepted and Silver gave him that 🥹🥹💞💞 Silver returning all the love that Malleus gave him.

Silver has never thought of Malleus as the villain just someone that needs to be returned to normal. Not once has he ever called him a villain and that’s what’s makes me so soft. He just wants Malleus and Lilia back to the way they were.

I know people say that because of the sword and the dragon from the Sleeping Beauty movie, Silver will slay Malleus, but I don’t think it will happen that way.

Yes, we will still battle the OB, but given the message the movies give about “love”, I think that’s what will bring him back.

(Though I wonder after how much pain will these two go through before they can heal. After all, they both have “betrayal” lines)

But all in all, I think Silver will help him someway through love. Maybe true love kiss? If not him, then Lilia. Because they all love each other so much, so I can see a collective true love waking them up.

And I think it’s them communicating that love that will bring him back, after all, Lilia taught them love and peace and what better way than to use those lessons now 🥹💚

I feel like with the way Malleus is, they might just change the whole battle system for him alone 😂 or maybe we can wake him up with Lilia’s food. I really hope that either way, MC plays a role in bringing him back 🙏🙏 Please, give me my crumbs.

[stellarcobweb]

have i ever mentioned tht whenever i think of the web i just go "thats just my mom?"

(putting a break in here bc after typing everything out, its more of a ramble than i thought it would be)

like. specifically in my own weird as hell way. as well as like *insert my conpantheon and soft polytheism, certain aspects and presentations can be forms that make it easier to talk to and influence humanity*

for whatever reason i look at like. moon/primordial void/mother as being very very VERY Web . using Smirkes detailing of the Fears (which . i think its a lot more nebulous than that but whatever)

also its DEEPLY funny to me that like. my system name for the longest time and even now tbh was Maratus, with collective name Mara for short. Maratus is the peacock spider genus

as well as my Thing abt weaving fate together, getting into tatting lace and crochet, wanting to get even more into like. honest to god spinning and weaving and knot magic and stitch magic in my practice

AND ALSO. final nail in THAT coffin. someone did an energy reading on me once and straight up got fullblown spider demon vibes off of me? w the concept of "you can literally spin ur own web" as something they noticed. which is just. FASCINATING.

+ my energy being called sticky and/or web-like on multiple occasions

like. thinking of terms that i would consider myself w the Fears that ARENT the spiral (bc i am first and foremost an Avatar of the Spiral).

Child of the Web feels a lot better than any of the others? bc im not a Victim, Avatar, or even really necessarily Marked imo. its just like. thats who created me? thats who made me and who built me out of nothing? thats who legit created my soul? if nobody has my back, i know my Mama has my back! its a more personal relationship than anything else honestly. just like. wholeass that is my Mother and i am absolutely my Mother's Child. you *could* consider me marked from birth but idk that doesnt feel OR sound right

(also im a pretty doll :) i mean Doll and dollself are legit. identity at this point. both for coping reasons and xenic reasons. in both marionette AND bjd ways. im not human! and have never ever felt human!)

+ Marked by the Lonely . bc yeah former Victim WOOOOO my childhood was AWFUL!

ik theres an Eye association w me but i have no idea what it is. shrug. research is my hobby and i legit live for doing it. also it def feels nice to chew on info when im researching, very satisfying. no i dont think im an Avatar, and im definitely not a Victim. the Eye just straight up doesnt scare me. tbh i think theres *potential* for Avatarhood fr me at some point but if it happens it happens idrc either way. i just exist!

...honestly Victim of the Corruption would also apply to me but i take a very "if i dont see it it doesnt exist" approach to that and its not anything active in my life . fr the most part. so shrug

YKNOW. the Dark would be called my parent too. i dont think of that part of things as often as i do my Mom but like. Child of the Dark also fits here. i mean . "Born from dark water, daughter of the rain and snow" is something that i take fully as identity. (yes thats a line from Landscape by Florence and the Machine). also it connects to my former beliefs abt Leviathan = soul parent and what is he but associated with the abyss, water, and darkness

ngl its also funny looking at that from the concept of like. my eyes practically cannot handle any direct sunlight. it hurts them so bad ;;v;; like my eyes are ridiculously sensitive to light and i have insanely good night vision somehow. i know literally nobody else like that. also the concept of the Void is deeply comforting actually. vantablack :)

also unrelated slightly but A Fathers Love is my favorite episode out of literally all of the ones ive heard on TMA. like its just the best one ever

[more-than-tender-curiosity]

this became v long and rambly sorry!

music was decent but unremarkable overall like none of it was particularly memorable. they made the orchestra pit the pool which was kind of cool and the valley of ashes set was nice. other sets were meh imo. the performers were the only reason the entire show wasn't completely flat. esp eva noblezada and the nick i saw (i saw the u/s). they just did not give jeremy jordan much to do except be in love w daisy in their scenes together so his presence just felt kind of awkward on stage. samantha pauly was decent as jordan but the amount of time spent on nick and jordan (mostly them being v In Love and getting engaged) seems to have ended up leaving nick and gatsby on the cutting room floor. like nick and gatsby talk once when gatsby tells him about daisy and asks him to set up a meeting, they interact a bit when gatsby is panicking right before seeing daisy, and then they talk right before gatsby dies. 2/3 are completely about daisy and literally nothing else which is esp irritating given how uninteresting nick and jordan are in their scenes. even the numbers that were meant to be classic splashy broadway dance numbers were really boring (and i say this as someone w a deep fondness for splashy broadway dance numbers) and didn't feel particularly rooted in the time period, which is a missed opportunity imo. i didn't really like much of the choreography either as someone who has no real knowledge about dancing lol -  it just wasn't fun to watch. they tried to use wolfsheim as narrator-adjacent in the 2nd act opening which was incredibly boring. they also try and create tension by having wolfsheim threaten gatsby bc he's hasn't been doing his job or w/e and it does not work at all. myrtle and george's separate numbers in the 2nd act were better than most of the rest of the show. esp myrtle's bc she has a come-to-jesus moment about tom right before getting killed which has more impact than the entire rest of the show. they move the beautiful little fool convo (as a song) to the end which was baffling to me bc nick is like "you're just hiding away w your money when gatsby got killed bc he took the blame for you murdering someone" and then daisy sings about hoping her daughter's a beautiful little fool like ?????? girl wtf are you talking about. it just felt so out of place. found the writing for daisy v frustrating bc they did the thing where they try to make a character more likable by dulling or removing their flaws and end up just removing anything that makes them interesting. tom was so flat. even the way any scene w him was directed was flat, esp when he hits myrtle. no impact at all you barely even notice it happen. i was bored throughout most of the show. i get what you said about it being beautiful but empty but even the parts that could get by on that had no entertainment value.

Oh holy shit it’s worse than I thought. I knew they made nick straight, which yeah fine okay I can step outside my Stupid Gay Nick world long enough to accept that straight nick is the norm, whatever, so disappointing but whatever—

But he and jordan are like. Engaged?…really? Mr. I Wont Be Rumored Into Engagement? Getting engaged to a woman in the spotlight? Who he can’t even admit to loving fully? Are you goddamn motherfucking joking with me right now?

And like. I get that there’s no real villain in the great gatsby and that’s the point, it’s the system not the people whatever. But you mean to tell me they looked at tom, that fucking asshole, and then *didn’t use him to colorize the scenes?* You expect me to believe anyone else is ‘good’ in this when TOM BUCHANAN’S greatest sin is being boring? Where’s the fucking bottom line? Where’s the depth of character?

And then…nick and jay don’t even talk but three goddamn times?

Huh?

What?

I’m serious. Even canon nick fucking carraway admitted to hanging out with him often.

And also WOLFSHIEM AS THE NARRATOR??

Like. It’s very important that nick is the narrator. He fits such a very very specific niche of a character that he just cannot be replaced without damaging the integrity of the story as we know it, which is clearly cut and dry the story they aimed to tell. Do you think fitz’s choice in OPENING THE BOOK discussing not jay and daisy but NICK’S ‘GOOD’ CHARACTER was just an accident??? Hello??? Is anyone seeing this?

I can’t even. Like. Huh???

God it makes me SO mad they fumbled daisy too. In a modern gaze we have sooooo much more room to explore her character and they just fucking. They fumbled the goddamn bag. The failed her, and I’ve already talked about how unfair it was to cast Eva in a role defined by its whiteness. God. I just. Oh my god

[ssruis]

Thinking abt the fantasy au again

I’m moving emu attempting to leave the group to some point after the part where I’m borrowing from wonder halloween but it’s very entertaining to play w how a more emotionally competent (barely) rui would go about being like “I should leave for the safety of the group.” Something something he’s like well if nene joins you have a magic user you don’t need me anymore (tsukasa pressing the incorrect buzzer)

Emu leaving needs to be more of a “this is My Responsibility and this is dangerous” which is absolutely impacted by tsukasa being injured in the beginning but I think it works better if I move it to be in line w her confrontation with meiko. Because she needs to confront meiko on her own au meiko would not accept the outstretched hand from emu unless it was without an audience. Emu going I’m able to move on from my grandpa’s death because of my support system & you can do the same thing after the death of Luka (because miku/kagamines/kaito are all still here and still love you) ouuggh… (meiko voice) I hate all humans especially the otori royal line (picture of emu is sent) I will make an exception because she looks very polite.

Also allows for more emunene relationship development beforehand bc nene would not be confident enough to confront emu on her dumbass choices without an established rapport. Nene finding out emu went to confront the embodiment of death and endings on her own out of a misplaced belief she needs to do things on her own: I’m going to kill everybody in this room and then myself.

+ honestly though v tempted to make like. The confrontation have all of wxs. At least for part of it. Because they’re all so important to each other and love each other so much. Idk… initial confrontation w emu and meiko and then kaito brings wxs into the fray?

+ world building in that the magic nene uses (drawing from the natural world) is more normalized/easier and more controlled as opposed to whatever rui uses (using his own energy and putting it into things he creates, or using his own energy offensively).

- I think if I go the prophecy route (doubtful) the prophecy will be a lie bc I do not vibe with “fate is set in stone” I think the crucial thing needs to be emu having An Idea which is why she runs away and Tsukasa follows her based off of that idea. & then rui and nene join for the same reason. Canonisms.

- rui & tsukasa sparring to improve their skill sets against the other’s arsenal. They need to be insane w each other in every universe. Also worked in both of them getting arrested because it’s really fucking funny. Tsukasa banging his head on the cell wall dramatically like ouughh how could this happen I just wanted to be a knight & rui’s like “well it could be worse” & tsukasa’s like “WTF DO U MEAN IT COULD BE WORSE”…

- saki restraining herself from hitting tsukasa when he comes back from his big fun (lying) journey (deserved of her). & then saki leaves to travel with L/N and he’s A Fucking Mess. Before this Saki is like u mentioned rui a lot in ur letters… what’s up w that (eyes). + saki and nene interactions with nene developing a treatment plan for the corruption borne chronic illness

- nene voice I’m so glad I can finally help someone w this illness Let me tell u embarrassing stories abt ur brother. Oh He didn’t tell you he got injured & I had to drag him back from deaths door. Um. (Saki is going to kill him)

- if any relationship happens in the main story it’ll have to be emunene (& even then it’s doubtful. ideally I’d write a focus for them abt it) ruikasa becomes a thing like a year+ after the main plot because they’re both genuinely incompetent

— idr if I mentioned it anywhere but I do have the heavy handed emu & rui meddling where rui books 1 room with double beds and 1 room with only one bed (meddling on behalf of nene) and he attempts to give emunene the room with one bed and then emu (meddling on behalf of tsukasa) is like ok so YOU’LL take the single bed room :) & then emu sleeps in the same bed as nene anyways.

—- whole au is nene being like ok well now I’m living life again. And if anything happens to emu I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.

- i think kaito should have a special relationship w tsukasa in that he communicates w tsukasa but in an incredibly unhelpful way & tsukasa wants to strangle him for this. Kaito gives unhelpful hints and Tsukasa is like what the fuck does that mean & kaitos like “you’ll figure it out :)” and Tsukasa is Seething.

- kagamines are more helpful. Len would probably interact mainly w rui & rin w nene. I don’t think rui and len get anything done though len just thinks rui is neat and rui is very happy to teach him things.

- miku is emu’s special little guide she shows up as a cat guiding her in the beginning and then fully reveals herself later. She’s not Super helpful but she does her best and also encourages emu to follow her heart. Which prologue tsukasa is suffering because of. (Tsukasa voice) where did the fucking princess go I’m in hell the king is gonna kill me (miku voice) hey emu come hide in this spot there’s free food.

[agp]

i saw your comments on a public transit post and just. love it so much. why can't public transit go door to door? why can't it operate with feedback and requests from its users? why can't it be adaptable? imo the 'we provide service you consume it' vibe is the exact same thing that private cars do. create a bunch of followers rather than people with unique needs (and thus being inaccessible to many). would love to hear any more ideas you have, especially as this is something i dream of designing along with the accessible community to go with <3

so the specific post in question was about transit systems with centralized access points, or stops/stations, and using the term public transit to talk about the limits of those particular systems. so in a way, definitionally, this 'public transit' could never apply to door to door because that would make it something else (paratransit, taxi service, etc). so while that is a limit to those systems i dont think its the kind of limit op was trying to critique.

'transit infrastructure' is a better term for what i want to reform. this includes everything from physical infrastructure like roads and cars to financial infrastructure like loans and fees to social infrastructure like ownership and laws.

the way we engage with discourses of transportation prioritizes the perspective of the driver and treats other options and those who take them primarily as products of being unable to drive. someone who was unable to learn to adapt to the working class dance with debt, work, and traffic and 'lost their momentum', that is, if they ever had any in the first place.

i think a relatively easy early task is to dislodge the driver from their position as universally optimal. part of this is developing an understanding of how the driver finds themselves there. that is what transit infrastructure in a capitalist political economy 'does': it regulates flows - of traffic, of ideas, of capital - to maintain itself through the reproduction of the institutions that sustain it. the complexity of this regulation is beyond the scope of this post and past the point of calling an easy task, but at least the objective of recognizing and challenging the privileges afforded to the driver is straightforward enough

a notion that can help is the idea of design serving a particular subject. cities planned for cars/drivers as opposed to urban design that prioritizes pedestrians, cyclists, or rapid mass transit. youd ideally want to drive partially bc generally pretty much everything is designed to make driving the easiest. you wouldnt want to walk or bus for the same reason

this is getting a little long so im gonna give the classic marxist line that the social conditions arent sufficiently developed for the kind of revolution in human flows i would like to see. people are a little too tied to their debts, jobs, and steering wheels at the moment.

[exnihilo-etc]

im packing to move soon and i thought as long as im packing i could show off my bookshelf, one row at a time, starting with the bottom: graphic novels, comics, and puzzle books

most of ex nihilo i still have in its original physical form. im not too sentimental for it, but it is hard to throw it away. if theres literally anything ive drawn that you want, just lmk and ill ship it to you 👀

my old notebook

i fucking LOVE this graphic novel. i found it at a thrift shop, signed by the author, which probably means whoever this belonged to was a kickstarter backer for the project. it tells the story of a young artist and his wife being revisited by an old friend just released from prison. a story about drug use, lost friendships, and how your own memory can lie to you, and by extension, lie to your loved ones. maybe the very last line of the novel inspired the name of my comic?

seconds is an amazing graphic novel by bryan lee o'malley, who might be better known for creating scott pilgrim. this is a contemporary fairy tale of the disastrous consequences you might face if you could literally undo anything that might happen to you during the day, and how katie, a restaurant manager learns to abuse that power to send her own world crashing down around her. find it, i know its for free online somewhere but if you buy it thats even better!!

moon moth started as a short story by jack vance (who in his own right created rules for an internal magic system within his stories now called "vancian magic") about a sci fi murder mystery on a utopian planet called Sirene, a planet so accustomed to luxury that crafting and artistic expression are the sole pastime. everyone always wears a mask on sirene, and the social order is complex to learn and navigate...all communication is done through musical accompaniment as well. how will ambassador edward thissel know who is friend or foe??

i havent read 'everything is teeth' yet

a graphic novelisation of one episode of angel where a tv station is sucking souls out of kids and angel becomes a felt puppet

a great graphic novel going over the history of anti scientific conspiracies, like why ppl think the moon landing was fake, homeopathy, the quack history of chiropractics, anti vax, global warming denial, evolution misunderstandings, and fracking

what the hell?

a collection of wondermark, which i would classify as having the old found artstyle of married to the sea, plus the zany writing of oglaf. its a webcomic, look fer it!

part graphic, part novel. the fog mound explores a world of talking animals where humanity's existence is rumored as a legend. but thelonious chipmunk has proof: an old postcard with a human city on it. when thelonious accidentally gets lost and finds himself in the very city on his postcard, he has to wonder...where did the humans go? are there any left?

i met jeremy at an expo a few years ago and regularly visit him every year now whenever hes at a showcase or expo. putting watercolor illustrations to music, writing little creepy poems, fan art of all kinds of franchises, i just really vibe with his artwork.

like isnt she just gorgeous???

issues 3-6 of kingdom of loathing bc ill always be such a die hard fan of the loathing games, especially the stick figure mmo that started it all

[tau1tvec]

On tumblr mobile if I hit someone’s icon it takes me to their page and I gotta scroll down which would take forever to see everything they posted &desktop has the pages?so how do I get the side view thing you mentioned?I feel like there was a post awhile ago that shows this for looking at your own likes page but it makes it easier to see everything …might actually have to quit sims sadly I can never be happy with it ;( finding cc is hell when it’s not just in one place &like why can’t there be a mod in the game ?for people to upload there cc into the game so nobody gotta waste time searching and downloading the cc like then ya could select which cc you want to even use and see all the cc created…

Idk, I don’t rlly mind clicking through the pages, bc I’ve been doing it for forever, and a lotta ppl prefer it over endless scroll on themes, so it’s pretty common to see when looking at someone’s actual blog.

Though truly, it sounds like you’re more fed up with looking for cc, than you are with tumblr’s UI, to which I do not blame you. I can’t stand it either a lot of the time, which is why finding a go-to ccfinds blog is so crucial to keep your sanity. EA doesn’t rlly give a damn to implement anything of that sort, let alone extend an arm to modders and mod users, bc if anything they just get blamed either way if something goes wrong, and with how buggy their games are I can’t imagine how swamped their help line is as it is. Plus, modding The Sims has been like this for a while tbh, it wasn’t much better and back then in my TS2 days, when everyone had their cc on obscure ass forums and websites that hardly worked, but at least it didn’t have the add on of subscription costs, and timed exclusives.

So go find you a ccfinds blog, preferably one with a rlly good tags system so you can sort out only what you need when you need it. Then get into the habit of checking it daily or weekly so you don’t miss anything, and then end up having to spend hours looking for it, and sending wcif’s. These blogs work hard to do a lot of the find it work for you, so send them a message showing your appreciation from time to time. ✌️

Either way, between all the searching, downloading, installing, and organizing, modding this game is a process, and a fucking miserable one, and I absolutely get why ppl just choose to go without it.

[phylumhearts]

give us your radiant garden fam headcanons

this is suuper broad so I'm gonna talk about who I include in the radiant garden fam and why!

so for me, it's ansem, even, ienzo, dilan, aeleus, and xion. this is ofc post-canon - braig (and later apprentice xeha) would be included (and xion omitted) in earlier parts of the timeline.

(aside: whether braig was an apprentice pre-luxu or not and how much investment luxu-braig had in any part of the whole situation beyond prophecy-fulfilment is sooo interesting. I lean towards "always luxu" and "only a little invested despite himself" bc I'm not usually focusing on his character but honestly that's kind of a cop-out on my part lol)

I see a lot of people bringing in namine and repliku (and making REALLY CUTE art about it, it's not my headcanon but I do eat up father-of-four even content lol), but I generally don't bc. 1. if repliku could have had a full existence independent of riku kh3 well and truly removed that as an option and 2. namine deserves better than that

when I say that I mostly mean namine should be well the fuck away from ansem, and I think he'd probably agree? DiZ was legendarily awful to her and while she has a connection to Even via being in replica body now I don't think that's particularly enough to put him as a top candidate for her guardianship (though tbh I'm not 100% set on who that /would/ be - if kairi was back on the islands I'd say her parents just have twins now, but given that she's training with aqua it would be a little odd for namine to be there alone. maybe she's just travelling for a bit. idk)

on the other hand xion was directly created by even and they don't have a negative history together, and none of the org members who actively hurt her are around (I 100% include axel in that, I don't object to them being friends post-canon but people acting like he could be a healthy guardian figure to her need to, like, play/watch days lol). in rg she gets a blank slate with pretty much everyone around her except dilan, and I think they would have a very interesting dynamic given the little bits and pieces we see of their relationship in the org. (yes i'm thinking about when xaldin was like "she's as much of a person as the rest of us and therefore should be executed". I'm always thinking about that.)

I was kinda disappointed when kh3 brought AtW back bc I really vibe w the idea of the apprentices returning to rg and having to live with the conspicuous absence of their king and mentor (this playlist is very much about that vibe) which I guess still happens but only for like. a couple weeks maybe? then he's just back again. which I do think is less fun but does have its own interesting questions of what their dynamic becomes, how he approaches returning to rule, etc. I do think that with his whole repentance thing he maybe wouldn't be very into taking up a head-of-state role again and would be more likely to facilitate a transition into some kind of representative council system than just abdicate and put some poor schmuck into his old position (that being said, the idea of him just washing his hands of it and retiring to be a hermit, leaving ienzo to take up a hereditary king title, would be just the kind of dick move that feels consistent with his established characterisation lol (ienzo voice: hello chip could you put mickey on the line please. I want to consult him on how to run a whole fucking world because it would seem I'm a king now))

anyway. despite it being cute and making lots of jokes about it I don't really see ienzo or xion calling anyone their dads or fathers - they're totally a family but it's a bit more complex than "four dads, two kids". the guys all take their guardian roles quite seriously (while dilan doth protest too much about their upbringing not being his responsibility or business, he is in practice very invested in instilling them with his values) but I don't think any of them would feel entitled to claim that kind of relationship.

long post is long. I have much to say about these blorbos o' mine

[sevenstevearmy]

I wanted to add some more info to some of these bc idk if anyone did, I saw some stuff in the notes but there are a lot of notes. (For reference, I worked in childcare with ages 6 weeks to five years, part of which was in the kitchen so I know a lot about feeding and also that the USDA food program is bullshit, and am an uncle to four and also the person all of my siblings go to for advice with their kids.)

You have to be a bit careful when you say 'baby' bc it's not a developmental stage, more of a vibe, so pretty much when your kid starts eating food other than milk/formula (especially if that food is dry), they can have a little water when it's hot, talk to their doctor first if you can.

The reason kids can't have honey until 1 is bc of the allergen possibilities and their immune systems aren't developed enough yet. This includes anything with honey in it, including a lot of graham crackers. This is just to be safe, but wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?

The dust thing is bc most of dust is skin cells. This wasn't really an important clarification, but it makes a ton of sense when you remember this.

For tummy time, your kid may hate it and scream and cry. This is fine, they'll get over it, tummy time is essential.

The reason a kid's head might be misshapen at first is bc it has to be squished to get out of their parent. All newborns look like little aliens, it's ok.

Postpartum depression is super common! You're not alone, there are so many resources and people for you out there. Your doctor might even have a starting point for you if you can see one.

There are lots of reasons people don't produce enough milk. I would def recommend reading up on the subject even if you do produce enough. Just make sure to keep up with recalls. There are also lots of types of formula, some will work for your child, some won't. You can always ask a doctor if you're having problems, and if you can't see a doctor for this, see if your parents or other parents you know might have ideas, unless you are seriously concerned for your baby's health, in which case doctor absolutely.

Kids don't really need to wear shoes until they're actually walking. Soft form 'booties' are ok when it's cold, and what I mean by that is they're like socks but they might be waterproof and make sure they are not too small. Big is better.

Another thing about them putting everything in their mouths: This is normal like op said. They may even try to eat some of these things if they can. This is also relatively normal. That being said, if you have concerns about them consuming things that are bad for them and they are old enough to understand (this is younger than you may think, if they can understand 'no' they can understand 'yucky'), please talk to their doctor. I knew a little girl who ate used diapers (not only hers) well after two years old. This is not safe.

It is so super important that you let them learn how to do things instead of helping every step of the way. You should only really intervene if you're concerned for health or safety reasons. If they've worked themselves into such a fit that they can't calm down even with urging, take them away from what they were trying to calm them down, but don't help. The reason kids learn to crawl is bc they want to get to a place or item, and if you put them there yourself everytime, they won't learn, and crawling is actually an incredibly essential milestone. Kids who don't learn to crawl or don't learn quick enough (you do have a lot of time, so don't freak out) tend to have certain disorders down the line. Whatever connections crawling creates and strengthens in the brain are some of the most important.

People don't seem to realize that babies can understand things far before they can speak themselves. The way kids learn connotations and micro expressions is through you talking to them, and reading helps them experience other words and situations so that they can learn. A child will not learn to speak if they are never spoken to, and it starts early. Have you ever looked into the boy raised by wolves? He couldn't conceptualize what a category was. One book was a book, but another couldn't be bc the other thing was a book. Children need to be exposed to language. Reading stories helps them learn creativity, morals, sentence structure, etc. Kids who have been read to tend to excel further in all subjects compared to kids who weren't. Also just talk normally to them as well. It's ok to coo at them on occasion as long as you also talk to them normally. Explain what you're doing or what they're seeing.

Even if it's not specifically a lullaby (say you don't know any), any song you sing softly and somewhat slowly will work. If you only know songs by the Offspring, just calm down the song. I legit know one lullaby and then I use Two Birds and Must Have Been the Wind and whatever else I can think of on the spot. Just tone it down. Also your baby does not care if you can sing well and if your hatred for your voice outweighs your need to comfort your child, maybe you should think about that.

Kids need stimulation! Beige is not stimulating! Beige is not firing any neurons! Colors make your child's brain strong.

Seriously congratulate your kid for basically everything good they do, especially if it was something they didn't like. For example, a lot of kids don't like getting their diapers changed. Get them through it and then verbally congratulate them for getting through it. This teaches them to congratulate themselves for things later. My nephew now says 'Yay! Good job [name]!' whenever he does stuff. It's adorable and good for him.

As for male baby erections, If you've never had a baby boy you might not know that they will continue to get random erections before they hit puberty. Please continue to not be weird about the literal child, thanks.

When weening your child, absolutely do research, but I'll let you know you can start with applesauce and the like, try not to give them too much added sugar. Natural is fine. Some kids start on true solids way earlier than others, it's ok if it takes a while. It's usually non-firstborns who are quicker to do things. And btw the second kid is easier bc you already learned all this new stuff for your first, but each kid is different and you'll definitely have to continue learning for each child you have. But back to food, once they get on true solids, you just have to cut stuff up real small of them until they understand how to properly bite and chew. Remember they've never done it before so they have to learn. And yeah minced hotdog sounds weird but if that's what you have, you have to make sure they don't choke.

Making a new paragraph, but still on the food thing, kids are more likely to eat what they see you eating. So even if you hate broccoli, make sure to give a realistic performance when you choke it down and say it's yummy. One reason a kid might not be eating fruits and veggies besides them not seeing it happen is the natural variance from piece to piece. Some blueberries are sweet, some are sour, and you can't always tell by looking at them. Vegetable are a little easier, but in these cases, try cooking your fruits and veggies, it makes them sweeter. Or offer a sauce or condiment of some sort, kids love to dip.

For diaper bags, a good one doesn't necessarily mean 'designed and marketed for this purchase and is over a hundred dollars'. A good quality backpack or a still in good condition second hand will do. Just make sure there's lots of space in there, and I'd personally recommend water resistant/proof.

Related to their grip, I would not recommend wearing earrings, especially dangly ones around a baby. Also no necklaces. And they'll probably accidentally pull your shirt down so I would recommend crew necks if you're going out and don't want that happening.

Kids shoulders get dislocated so easily that anyone working with small children is immediately thrust a workshop hour based one all the ways you should not handle a child to avoid this. If you have to move your child, go for the waist, and if you're holding hands also have a hand on the waist or be very careful. Shoulders are really difficult to fix and very painful.

So onto stuff not in the original post:

If there is nothing medically (including on the mental health side, this is still medical) wrong with your kid, they will eat when they are hungry and you should let them eat until they are full. Yes even if you think your kid is fat. Children burn a lot more calories that you don't see bc they are growing and learning. I'd also be hesitant to letting a doctor tell you that your kid is fat and then not following that up with any reason, unfortunately fatphobia is really big in medical spaces. If your kid is happy and able to move freely, they're fine, it's probably genetics. If they actually do give you a reason besides over feeding then it's more safe to listen to them, bc if your kid is hungry or gaining weight and it's for some reason not normal, they should be looking into why that is. Make them do the work.

Don't send your kid to daycare sick. They will get all of the other kids sick, guaranteed bc kids are gross (this is developmentally appropriate, unfortunately). And then their families are exposed. And so are the teachers and their families. I get there's not always a lot of options but you could very much kill someone or get the whole place shut down while staff recovers.

It's ok actually to let your kid have some sugar. Don't go overboard, their bodies are much smaller than yours, but they can have some. Families who forbid all sugar (sometimes including natural, like what?), are going to have a reckoning when that kid first gets exposed to sugar by someone else. Moderation is a thing, or doesn't have to be, nor should it be, all or nothing. Also the reason why natural sugar doesn't count in fruits and such is the fiber. The fiber slows down how quickly the sugar is processed. And for people like my parents, yes fiber is also a carb and carbs are the body's preferred method of getting energy, you do in fact need them to survive.

Once your kid starts babbling like they have the words in their head but not the experience to say them, this is when you should stop saying anything you don't want them to say (for example if you swear like a sailor, maybe cut back at this point unless you want phone calls from their future school).

I think most of my other advice is for kids a little bit older so I'll leave this here. I am personally open to questions and clarifications if you want to shoot me an ask or message, unlike your kid I won't bite, I promise.

seeing a lot of videos that are like “I didn’t know babies couldn’t have water” so here’s an incomplete list of things you need to know before having a baby

- the obvious, they can’t have water bc milk is incredibly high in water already so excess water leads to over hydration

- babies cannot have honey until 1

- if ur breastfeeding your kid and saving excess milk, make sure you label what you pumped in the morning vs at night bc your body produces different melatonin levels throughout the day and giving your baby daytime milk at night can make them more alert and fuck up their sleep schedule

- idk why ppl keep saying this but swaddling your babies or getting them those baby straight jacket things is not abuse. It chills them out cuz it reminds them of the womb

- babies have a dandruff like buildup on their head called cradle cap, and it’s very easy to deal with and remove with just some baby shampoo, a gentle scrub brush (MADE FOR BABIES!!) and a comb. It does need to be removed tho cuz it can be very painful after a while. This can also continue to happen late into toddlerhood it’s normal

- you have to clean out the creases of your baby’s skin and hands and feet they WILL collect dust😭😭

- you cannot bathe your baby until their umbilical cord naturally falls off. Use a warm damp rag until then

- tummy time is actually very important

- your baby might have a misshapen head at first (not all the time but sometimes) this will either sort itself out or they’ll need a corrective helmet ask your doctor

- I wouldn’t recommend having your baby leave the house very much until they’re at least 6 months old, especially if they’re born near cold and flu season cuz the common cold can kill a newborn

- you’re not an awful horrible person for having postpartum depression and it’s always a million times better to let your baby cry a few minutes longer than normal while you regain your composure than to freak out and give ur kid shaken baby syndrome

- you’re not an awful horrible person for giving your baby formula milk either

- don’t put shoes on your baby it’ll compromise their toe box and balance

- babies put every single thing in their mouths

- the easiest way to burp a baby is to hold them straight up (spine straight) and hold their head a bit higher

- always support their head they barely have necks

- if your baby fights away food, fights tummy time, vomits every single time you burp them, is gaining or losing an unreasonable amount of weight at a time, wheezes after eating, or goes red after eating, chances are they’re probably allergic to the type of milk they’re eating (again ask a doctor but these are just some signs it’s not just colic)

- they will wobble a lot when learning to do things but you gotta fight the urge to help them every single time cuz they gotta learn

- they’re not always spitting out baby food cuz they don’t like it they just don’t know how to eat. Like they don’t know how to push food down they only know how to stick their tongue out so be patient

- babies craniums are broken up into three parts at first that later fuse together, this is to help make birthing easier but it results in a small EXTREMELY sensitive spot in the top of their head that has no protection. This puts their brain at a high risk. Always protect their soft spot

- read to your baby!! Get cute bright colorful sensory books with sight words and read them to your baby it makes such a huge difference in their educational growth and will help them acquire a love for reading early on. And talk to them never shut up just say whatever comes to mind all the time this will strengthen their vocabulary growth also.

- babies poop like a lot. A lot. an unreasonable amount. Bring back up clothes and more diapers than you think

- no pillows or stuffies in the crib and only use a muslin blanket unless it’s especially cold to prevent suffocation

- babies kick reflexively until they’re out of their newborn scrunch (they stay womb shaped for a while) and if your baby is crying and pushing at the swaddle try letting them flail around for a minute

- consoling your baby is not spoiling them ! They need comfort and they will learn to self soothe on their own

- singing lullabies actually works, they can recognize your voice a consistent place of comfort from the womb and the cadence of lullabies is literally engineered to create a calm headspace

- for the love of god do not get boring ass beige toys. Colors are important for their neurological development

- babies are very responsive to praise from a young age so be as supportive of them as you can

- babies get constipated a lot and you have to do like tummy massages to help ease their pain the easiest way is to lay them on their backs and hold one foot in each hand, kick their feet like bicycles, scrunch up, and then stretch their legs out

- holding them on your hip too much will not cause bow legged-ness if your baby is bow legged that was always gonna happen

- they drool so so much and you have to get bibs for them so they don’t get chest eczema

- don’t use scented products on their skin cuz their skin is sooo much thinner than ours

- when your baby first starts sitting on their own never walk away from them without setting up a nest of pillows and blankets around them. Even minor head trauma can mess them up sometimes

- this one is kinda morbid and scary but sometimes babies just die out of nowhere and it’s no one’s fault or anything it’s called sudden infantile death syndrome(SIDS) and it’s about 1.3k deaths on average per year in America so not super common but still very real. 90% of these deaths happen during the first four months however edit: apparently it’s bc of an enzyme deficiency which at the very least you can take steps to try and prevent

- smoking and drinking during pregnancy WILL affect your baby and your breast milk and also might contribute to SIDS cases

- babies sometimes have a big red mark on them somewhere called a stork bite immediately after birth but typically it goes away

- babies can’t see very well for a while after birth and they’re VERY wobbly so they’ll typically bonk their head into your chest and face a lot while trying to support themselves

- female babies might have smth similar to a period the first few days after birth, this is because of the hormone transfer that happens during the birthing process and the days leading up to it

- male babies get random erections for the first few days after birth(hormone transfer again) literally do not be weird about this it’s a baby

- things like weaning your baby onto solid foods, potty training, weaning off pacifiers etc, can actually be directed by the baby and will happen naturally will minimal guidance from the parent(some guidance is still necessary) although I would do individual research into baby led weaning for food to prevent choking

- get those chewy feeding pouches to help with weaning

- the most random things will scare the hell out of your baby don’t take it personal 😭

- baby carriers are life savers (tulas are one of my favorites)

- once babies hit toddlerhood they’re tougher than you think, and a lot of their reaction is based on YOURS. they’re always going to be looking to you for how to react to a situation. Remain calm and if they’re ok they’ll calm down but if they’re genuinely hurt they’ll keep crying

- babies will most likely get ridiculously attached to an inanimate object and you have to keep this thing intact at all costs until they’re old enough to abandon it or they will throw a FIT. I got a lemur plushie from a zoo once and every single one of the kids has bonded their soul with it until about 6 years old and once a month I have to stitch him back up

- don’t compare yourself to other parents. Maybe your kid isnt getting grass fed wild caught north Atlantic cheerios but at least they’re fed. If your kid is alive and healthy and happy you’re doing a good job

- you will need 3 car seats, an infant seat, a grow with me toddler seat, and a booster seat

- getting a good diaper bag is a MUST

- the hair a baby is born with will most likely all fall out or they’ll get a bald spot on the back of their head where they sleep cuz their hair is so fragile and thin but once it grows back it grows back thick

- get like 20 muslin blankets so you always have a backup when the main ones are covered in spit up

- the babies grip IS stronger than yours (keep your hair up and keep pets away best you can)

- your best bet for your teething baby is a pacifier you can put your finger in so you can massage their gums and some chewing toys numbing cream can be dangerous and should be used sparingly

- go ahead and come to terms with the fact you’re gonna have to use a Frida Baby to manually remove snot

- babies can get hair and thread wrapped around their toes and fingers that can cut off their circulation try to make a habit of checking

- don’t hit your kid please it’s nothing but trauma and fucked up coping mechanisms from there pls empathize with your child they’re a person too

- be careful not to pull too hard on their arms and legs(like during play or holding their hand while they walk) and NEVER pick them up by their hands this will very easily cause dislocation

- they might have a little tooth like callous on their lip from their pacifier. This does not hurt them and it will go away but it may hurt during breastfeeding

- breastfeeding will make your boobs different sizes

Yeag that’s all I can think of rn but yk i Will add as I remember stuff ppl are also adding things I forgot in the tags in case you’d like to look thru that as well <3

[boxxe-of-friends]

Proposal of new rules to go alongside "rule of cool"

Background

I like TTRPGS. I play multiple different systems and I'm a fan of a lot of different types. Currently I'm digging my teeth into pathfinder 2e for the first time and digging up some old gems to get a better understanding of the hobbies history. This is to say i have played and ran more than my fair share and this is not a post about a specific system, though rule of cool is most commonly associated with dnd.

Proposal

I think there should be 2 new rules that go alongside "The rule of Cool" (R1 from here on out bc im lazy)

"The rule of Camp"

"The rule of Calm"

Adopting these ideas as a player or game runner serves to reward a broader style of play that will cover a greater number of players to feel seen and rewarded and reenforce diverse playstyles at different tables.

Also, they all start with C.

Thesis

The current state of play that R1 enforces by existing in isolation means that the table is rewarded for actions that are "Cool". As a phrase, this leans itself toward actions that are high energy, bold, and chaotic, but is still poorly defigned, leaving things to the gamerunner to pick where that line is as after all this is a homerule that got lovingly adopted.

The issue this poses when this rule is played in isolation is that the scope of rewarded actions are narrow, and they ultimately support a specific type of playstyle. The actions this rule supports take the spotlight and often subvert or change an entire scene when successful but also put significant emphasis on the player as a centre of attention.

The thing is, there are many different ways to achieve similar effects that should also be rewarded but they are not cool. This is where the other two rules would come in. By adpoting these rules, gamerunners are actively saying, "I support this style of play." This creates an environment where different players feel as though they can express themselves in a manner that fits a broader spectrum of ways to roleplay and interact with story.

The rule of Camp

Camp is the best word i could think of for the range of ideas covered here. Camp is what happens when an idea is taken to its highest point, elevated, and then commited to with a full chest. The rule of Camp (or R2) takes its effect when a player takes something to its highest point or most ridiculous place but plays it with 100% commitment. Better yet 120%.

Camp is where silly and serious meet without nullifying each other. It is camp to make the plan hinge on the barbarian wearing a wedding dress fool a powerful giant into thinking they are the woman they were supposed to marry (thanks norse mythology). It is camp for a goblin artificer to live to all their chaos and fake out an NPC by making something elegant and refigned for a gallery.

These moments often happen in our TTRPGs. Whatever the theme is, they are presented in different ways, and they mean different things to different tables, but they still subvert the narrative by playing into the energy of tropes and expectation and clever use of this should be rewarded, giving these plans a chance to work the same way the impossible swing from the top rigging of tje pirateship to cleave the captain in half would be cool.

The rule of Calm

Sometimes, the low energy or emotional plays are the most impactful ones in a session. This awknoledgement of those moments and playing off them rewards people for digging into their characters or having a very good understanding of the story and using it well.

What's left unsaid? When is it the right time to not say anything and let the moment breathe? Where does the moment go from here ? How can you dig deeper?

All of those examples are the calm way of thinking about story, the indulgence of the beats and pauses that when the right question is asked, the best thing said or the most impactful silence is left something needs to be done to honour the moment.

The rule of calm (or R3) is the one that comes up the least often, but i find it to have great weight. This narritive recognition of respect is what makes the story better overall because you cant have the highs without the lows.

This would take a form that respects the moment and plays back into the moment being had, something going unheard by a flock of birds taking off at the wrong time or a chance to get a deeper insight into something otherwise hidden.

Conclusion

Partially, this is a discussion opener about what moments are honoured at your tables and what tone is portrayed in doing that. What kind of players is it supporting? Is there something more impactful for your table?

I want to see how other people feel about the idea and where they stand on how they would honour different plays .

[klienearschlock]

Not trying to start anything, just wondering: What about RFK appealed to you?

Apologies getting to this so late, I’m on mobile and we’re moving rn 🫡 putting this under a cut bc whew. It got long.

HONESTLY, at the beginning I enjoyed his prose and that he seemed to actually give a shit about the working class. I thought his environmental ideas were great and I believed them bc of his background as an environmental lawyer. I was a little disappointed he never seemed to make a stance on nuclear bc that’d be great. He wanted to back small and medium businesses and start setting up hurdles for large corps and monopolies. Put together a better system to purchase firearms that restricts access but still allows for them to be bought. He talked about cutting military spending, and pulling that money back to the people. Which I think is needed now more than ever, I believe we (the US) severely fucked up becoming the worlds police and creating the military industrial complex which is digging us into debt, and that US intervention does more harm than good. He talked about pushing better rehab for drug addicts rather than incarcerating them, as he’s a former addict, and that’s something that hits close to home for myself and my family. He also talked about taking on big pharma and potentially expanding the ACA, and putting restrictions on ingredients (lining them up with EU standards). Expanding the immigration work force to work quicker on asylum claims as well as illegal crossing, which, imo, the “border crisis” could be improved significantly if we fostered better relationships with our Mexican and South American neighbors. THE BIGGEST ISSUES, he believes that abortion needs to be a decision between a person and their doctor and that states shouldn’t intervene until the fetus reaches viability and he doesn’t support late term abortions though, which that’s a sticky area that everyone is going to have different opinions on, again. I think that’s a choice between a person and doctor no matter when. And swinging back to my opinions on US’s MIC and our position as world police. He does think Israel is right to fight back against Hamas and that the rest of world should’ve ‘helped them prevent the conflict’ and he claims to be heartbroken over the bloodshed in Gaza, and I don’t entirely believe his statement. He also talks about ending the war between Russia and Ukraine and he mostly wants to end these wars through peace talks, which. I personally don’t think is something that’s going to happen, even if it is somewhat noble. Once I learned about his stance on the wars, I kinda jumped off the bandwagon, and then I learned that despite still running, he endorsed Trump and was being given the health cabinet position. I’m aware now that a lot of his policies are conspiracy driven, that said I still agree with some of them. The largest thing I wanted to see and what I was expecting out of this election, was more third party voters. I really thought, bc there was a lot of people around me that didn’t care for Harris or Trump, that we would see a much higher third party turnout than what we did.

All in all, there’s a lot going on in this country and I’d like to see this place thrive because I know it’s capable of doing so.