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hidden-poet · 3 days ago
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Poison: part 2
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Summary: Coriolanus always hated Sejanus Plinth. He had everything that Coriolanus should of had; money, influence, and you.
Warnings: Coryo being de-lu-lu, unrequited love, Reader insert, dark!Coriolanus snow, unedited, dead dove to not eat
Word count: 15,053
Part 1 here
Part 3 coming.
Coriolaus wakes early the next morning and races to the Citadel to drop off Dr Gauls homework. 
He carried his anxiety about Dr Gauls potential comments along with him to his session with Lucy-Grey. 
He struggled to sit still, twirling his pen around and around in his hand. It was not how he wanted to present himself to Lucy-gray. 
What he wanted was her trust, her loyalty, her obedience. Things that would be hard to gain if he gave off a school-boy impression. 
Instead he forced his nails into the palm of his hand under the table, and tried to focus on Lucy-Gray as she spoke. 
“I am sorry about your friend”, she offered. 
“Thank you”, he returned. 
“That other girl. Was she okay? The guards whisked you away so fast. I couldn’t see-”. 
Something about her asking about you made Coriolanus irritated. 
He supposed it was just the image it brought back. The sheer shock upon your face, the fear that he wouldn’t get to you in time. 
“She’s fine”, he interrupted. His pen began twirling in his hand again. 
He wished he could have seen you this morning to check on you. You most likely woke up in the arms of Sejanus. He wouldn’t check on you like he should. His first words would have been complaints about the games. 
He shouldn’t be here really. Who choses mentoring a boy sure to die rather than taking care of you at home. Coriolanus bet he made no protest when you got ready for school. 
If it had been Coriolanus, as it should be, he would have ensured you stayed home in bed. He wouldn’t have left your side after yesterday. He wouldn’t have even let you be there yesterday. 
First Sejanus causes the wound, and then he isn’t man enough to take care of you properly. How sweet it will be, the day you finally belong to Coriolanus Snow. 
“I need you to sing in these interviews. It’s your last chance to win people over. I can’t send you gifts in the area without their money”, he states. 
“Maybe a guitar could persuade me. Maybe”, Lucy-gray offers. 
“Snow. Dovecote” Dean highbottom calls. 
Coriolanus whips around to see Peacekeepers waiting for them by the door. 
He could piece the clues together to come to the conclusion that Dr Gaul had called them. 
Clemmie on the other hand waited until they were climbing the Citadel steps to ask her obvious question. 
“She can’t actually have expected us to write that report. Could she? I was crying for hours last night”. 
Corionaus sighs. If Clemmie had kept her mouth shut he would have been next to you. You’d be nervous and in need of comfort, no matter how tough you talked.
“We did write it. I handed it in this morning”, he states. 
This time Clemmie sighed, “Great, give me the highlights”. 
Coriolanus obliged her if only to keep his mind focused. His bullet points took him up the entry stairs and through the doorway to Dr Gauls lab.
The lab exceeded coriolanus horrific expectations. 
It was cold and the large space only housed a long corridor of strange creatures in glass cabinets. 
Coriolanus taps the casing of a fish-type creature only to see if it moves. 
Its eyes shoot open only for a second before falling back into a drugged sleepy state. 
What exactly was Dr Gaul doing? What were these things? For what purpose could they be used for? 
“Mr Snow. Ms Dovecote. Come and see my new babies”. Dr Gaul's voice boomed in the empty space.
Coriolaus left the fish, following Clemmie as Dr Gaul led them to a new section and over to a large tank of colorful serpents. 
The rainbow moved within the glass in perfect sync. It was hard to tell where one snake started and another ended. 
“Is there a point to the color?”Clemmie asked. 
Dr Gaul scoffs at her as she ascends the stairs to the top of the glass cage.
“There’s a point to everything, Ms Dovecote, or nothing at all”, Dr Gauls answers. 
She spins to face the children, and rests against the side of the enclosure. 
“I must say I was expecting Miss y/n, in your place Ms Dovecott”. 
“As I said, Dr Gaul, Coriolanus and I do all our assignments together”, Clemmie defended. 
“Which is exactly why I was expecting the other one”. Dr Gauls eyes flick to Coriolanus, “exactly, which part did you write Miss Dovecott?”. 
Coriolanus tries to pull Clemmie out of the hole she was in but Clemmie talks over top of him.
“There was-”.
“I was inspired by Coriolanus, of course. But the sponsorships, and the gifts in the arena. They were all mine”, she cut him off. 
“Clemmie”, he warns. Dr Gaul already knew she played no part. Lying to her would only aggravate her sadistic tenancies. 
Dr Gual takes the bait. Crossing her hands in an almost gleeful manner she addresses Clemmie. 
“So it’s your sweaty handwriting on that page? Very impressive, Miss Dovecote”, Dr Gauls fawns. 
Coriolanus knew it was a tease. He anticipated the come down and the potential consequences of her lie. 
“Unfortunately’, Dr Gaul continues, “My assistant mistook it for trash and lined the shelf of this very terrarium with it”. 
Dr Gaul slides back the hatch to show the students the paper that was trapped between the snakes. 
“Retrieve it for us, won't you? So we might all consider your inspired ideas”, Dr Gaul smiles. 
Coriolanus hand twitched. He imagines you in Clemmies place now. How close he would have pulled you. How his own hands would latch themselves over yours and shield them against your chest. 
He wondered if he should do the same for Clemmie. She was an old friend, and her grades helped him to the top. 
Still he only stood back and watched. Half-Curious as to what would happen. 
The snakes couldn't be poisonous. Dr Gaul wouldn’t play with a students life. Especially a student from a high status family like Clemmie’s. 
Maybe. Coriolanus thinks back to the weird, mutated animals that lined the hallway. There was really no telling what Dr Gaul was capable of. 
“Don’t worry. My little predators are perfectly docile with those they can trust. So if they’re used to your scent, if you’ve handled their food, for example, or if they have inhaled the sweat of your palm on a page..they’ll leave you alone. If not, You’d be on your own, little girl”. 
Coriolanus knew from her words that Dr Gaul words were a threat. Those Snakes would harm Clemmie. 
Yet she reached her hand into the enclosure. 
“Clemmie!” Coriolanus grits. 
He is ignored to her own peril. 
As soon as her hand brushes against the edge of the page, a Snake lashes out and strikes the flesh that proposes to retrieve the paper. 
Clemmie screams upon impact. Trying desperately to shake the snake from her hand, she loses balance and topples off the stand. 
“Clemmie! No, no!” Coriolanus attempts to catch her as she falls, but Dr Gaul hinders him by pulling him back by his arm. 
She lands with a heavy thud on her back. Gasps fill the air as she tires to regain her breath. 
Already she looked pale. The skin on her hand turned a pale green color, and her eyes refused to blink or look anywhere else but directly in front of her. 
“You asked about the colors, Ms Dovecott.  I want my enemies to see a rainbow of destruction engulfing the world. I am not above using spectacle to create a little terror. A strategy your classmate here articulated very well in his proposal”. 
Coriolanus watches as two peacekeepers and assistant come running over. The assistant administered a large needle which helped Clemmie regain her breath but not her composition. 
The Peacekeepers then, without care, began to drag Clemmie across the floor and out a near door. 
Coriolanus was left alone with Dr Gaul who turned her attention to him. 
“I wonder if y/n would have chosen the same decision?”, she questioned. 
“Will she die?” Coriolanus asked in a hard tone. More than Dr Gaul mentioning you, he hated the image of you lying in Clemmies place. 
Dr Gaul shrugs her shoulders as if it didn’t really matter. 
“The pleasure of breaking ground in one’s research is one gets to find out”, she dismissed. 
She smirks as she turns back to the enclosure. Her hand reaches in and she begins to play with her pet snakes. 
“You don’t like me talking about her do you?”, Dr Gaul picks up a loose piece of paper and thrusts it at Coriolanus, “for a boy who came up with these proposals, you sure do wear your heart on your sleeve”. 
The paper crumbles in Coriolanus' grip. He looks at it to avoid eye contact with Dr Gaul. 
“What would Miss y/n think if she saw them? They’re good, these proposals. I am planning to implement as many as possible”. 
This causes Coriolanus to look up at Dr Gaul. If you knew, you were sure to never forgive him. 
“Don’t worry” Dr Gaul said, as if she could read his mind, “I’ll take credit for this one. Miss y/n is yet to realize her place in this world”. 
Dr Gaul closes the hatch to the snakes enclosure, turning her body towards Coriolanus. 
“And who is to be beside her, wouldn’t you say?”, she taunts. 
Coriolanus straightens up, dropping the ruined paper to the ground. 
“Y/n isn’t part of this conversation”, Coriolanus snaps.
Dr Gaul grins at him in response, stepping closer so she could talk quieter but still be heard. 
“We both want a new world, Mr Snow. My only question is how far are you willing to go to get it?’
She doesn’t let him answer. Seemingly, now bored of the conversation. 
“Now run along, you have an arena to promote and it’s time for my milk and crackers”, she dismisses. 
He takes the chance to leave. Storming down the steps and back along the hallway as fast as he could. 
Coriolanus tries to keep himself from running out of the Citadel. He nearly stumbles over his feet trying to get out as quick as he can. 
Turning behind him every so often to make sure no one was following him. 
The whole scene plays in his mind again and again. 
He was glad it wasn’t you in the end. You were already so traumatized after yesterday, it was a relief to not have to put you through that ordeal. 
The walk through of the arena was not for another hour. He had time to check on you. 
He was sure you were at school. Your parents wouldn’t let Sejanus into the house, and you wouldn’t have left Sejanus after yesterday. There was little chance you would have stayed at the Plinths. A smaller chance of Sejanus forcing you to as he should have. 
Suddenly, Sejanus’ lack of care turned out to be a good thing. 
Sejanus would be with his mentor getting ready for the tour. Which meant Coriolanus could see you without company. 
He knew your class schedule well. He liked the knowledge while he was in one class, he knew which one you were in. 
So he knew where to go and wait until the bell rang. 
A group of people rushed out of the classroom before you. You were the only one walking alone so you were easy to spot. 
You almost walk past him but he grabs your wrist and pulls you out of the line of people to a quiet staircase. 
“Coriolanus?” you question. 
You don’t fight him as he pulls you against the wall and stands in front of you like a shield. 
The people who walk past eye the scene but make nothing of it. 
“Coriolanus, are you okay?” you question. 
He couldn’t tell you about Clemmie and Dr Gaul but he was also so desperate for comfort. 
“Is it Arachne?” you ask. He nods his head ‘yes’ although his mind was far from it. 
You put your hand that was free from the weight of your books on his shoulder. 
“It’s not your fault’’, you console. 
“I just wish I could have done more”, he lied. 
He had thought little about Arachne since last night. But she was once again bringing you closer to him.
You shake your head, a sad expression pulls across your face and he instantly regrets his lie. Yesterday was traumatic to you, he shouldn't have played it up just for some sympathy. 
“No” you repeat, “what happened was no one's fault but her own”.
He wanted to make the argument that perhaps the fault lies with no one else but the tribute, but it would open a conversation he did not want to have. 
Instead he reaches up and places his hand on your elbow that had reached out to him.  
“Are you okay?” he asks. It should have been his first question.
“I am fine” you say. 
Your hand drops from his shoulder and he is forced to put his hand on the brick wall next to your hip. 
The position wedged you in a corner. With his tall frame towering over you and now his arm blocking you in. It felt as if you were trapped. 
“You should talk to someone. Arachne was your friend”, you state.
You shuffle slightly forward to hint to him that he was too close but he remains stagnant in his place. 
“Arachne was not my friend”, he deflects. 
You never liked her which meant Coriolanus never liked her. 
“You're my friend. Arachne was just someone I grew up with. I hardly knew her”, Coriolanus tried a softer tone as his previous speech came off harder than intended. 
He offered a kind smile that you did not return. 
“I’ve been worried about you all day” he breathes. 
His hand moves to your hip, and you are quick to push it off. 
“Coriolanus you are acting strange, perhaps you should go see the school doctor. No one would blame you if you chose to drop out of mentoring after yesterday”. 
Strange you called it. Not a man desperately in love. But a mad man that needs to be taken away. 
This causes him to take a step back away from you. His eyes go down to the ground but shoot back up at you. Mentoring. In a haste he checks his watch. 
He was supposed to be at the Arena in fifteen minutes but he is twenty minutes away. 
He groans, cursing the length of the Citadel from here, and cursing your late class.
 “I have to leave”, he says, “i just came to make sure you were okay”. 
“I am”, you acknowledge. 
He steps forward again, placing his hands on your shoulder blades and pulling you forward into his chest. 
You stumble into him, timidly raising your hands to pat his lower back. 
“Forget your last class, you should go home”, he begs. 
He feels you push back against him so he lets you go and takes a step back. 
“You should worry more about yourself. You look so pale”. 
When you reach out to touch his forehead, he leans into your touch. Loving the way your little warm hand felt. 
He knew it didn’t mean anything. You were kind. He could have been anyone and you would have done the same thing. 
Still he allows himself a second of pretend that it meant more. 
“I have to go”, he says again, “Just promise me that you’ll go home”.
“Sure, Coriolanus”, you amuse. 
It was enough to hear it. He didn’t need to believe it. 
With a final smile, he reaches up to touch your elbow once more and leaves you in the dark corner. 
His run to the arena would have been easier for him if he had any fuel to burn.
His breakfast of a single potato did not provide enough energy to make the distance, yet he pushed himself further than his body wanted him to. 
It paid off when he reached the arena just in time for walk-in. 
He filed in next to Lucy-Grey seconds before the doors opened. 
“I didn’t think you were going to make it”, lucy-Grey admits. 
“We’re going to win this” Coriolanus vows, “Together”. 
The arena is dark. An ominous red glow from the ticket vendor invites them in. 
The camera crew are already there, pointing their large frames in the faces of the tributes. 
Lucy-Grey smiles at it, before it pans to a Solomon looking Sejanus walking behind his tribute.
When the shutters open, the streaming light startles Lucy-Grey who pulls back against Coriolanus. 
He steadies her, looking around for possible strategies. 
“Please” Lucy-Grey grabs his arm to turn him towards her, “Please, Coriolanus, don’t let me die in here tomorrow”.
Before he can answer he is knocked off his feet by a large explosion. He feels heavy gusts of wind from three other directions meaning there was no safe direction he could turn too. 
Lucy-Grey lands beside him, and he scrambles to help her to her feet. 
The dust is heavy and clouds them. He could feel lucy-gray in his grasp but could only faintly see her.  The screams and commotion make it impossible to hear what she is trying to say. 
Another loud explosion tore the roof down over them. 
He releases Lucy-gray so they could both run for cover. 
Days of the war spring to his memory. The rebels were back to finish him off. 
The force of the explosion knocked him off balance and onto the floor. 
He could see peoples feet as they scramble past but none stop to help him. 
A louder, cracking noise spoke of his bigger issue and he turns to see a large pailing coming down towards him. 
Knowing he wouldn't have enough time to get to his feet, he began to crawl as fast as he could. 
It wasn’t fast enough. The hot metal pailing pins his shoulder to the ground. He could smell his own flesh burning as he lay trapped. 
Was this how it ended? He regrets not kissing you today. He had always been reserved. Afraid of your rejection. But he should have just took. Now he’ll die without ever getting to taste you. 
Through the smoke he could see Lucy-Grays boots come into view. 
“Help me” he begs. He still had so much to do. 
She looks to be bending down to assist when she is interrupted by Marcus flying across towards the open door. 
“Leave him” he demands, “He wouldn’t save you”. 
Marcus doesn’t stick around for her decision. Running to his freedom just across the room. 
It was true, if it come down to it Coriolanus would save himself. But Lucy-Gray needed him to survive. She would only get caught in the Capitol and then thrown in the area without a mentor. 
She must have realized that too because she bent back down to lift the burning metal off Coriolanus. She didn’t have to lift it far for Coriolanus to roll out from under it.
He is panting heavily he realizes, and is unable to move his shoulder.When Peacekeeper came to take lucy-gray away. Coriolanus couldn’t even rise from the floor to stop them. 
He throws out his good hand in an attempt to do something. But the searing pain in his shoulder and his cloudy head hindered him from being able to help. 
The last image he could see was her looking down at her burnt hands before it all went black. 
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His pounding headache woke him to the sight of you by his bed. 
He didn’t believe it. He had to be dead. 
His hand lashes out to take a hold of your wrist. You felt real. 
Your reaction seemed real. A startled look of surprise and discomfort. 
“Woah, Corio, take it slow”, the voice of Tigres calls to him. 
He looks away from your face to see Tigres sitting in the chair next to you. 
“What?” Coriolanus questioned, “What happened?”. 
He lets go of your wrist only so he could rise from the bed. The ache in his shoulder becoming more apparent as he moved. 
“It was a rebel bombing. They must have been planning it for months. Four tributes were killed”. 
Coriolanus almost scowls hearing his voice. 
Sejanus sat in a chair positioned on the other side of the bed. You hadn’t come to him in his hour of need. You were merely tagging along with your boyfriend. 
“Everyone is terrified, Corio” Tigres explains, “Fliex Ravenstill is on life support”. 
“The rebels released a message. They said they want to tear down the symbol of the Hunger Games. Marcus got out. He’s the only one. Peacekeepers are hunting him in the streets but at least he has a better chance out there than he would tomorrow”, Sejanus gravely mutters. 
“Tomorrow?” Coriolanus expounds, “They’re not still going ahead with the Games?”
“We can’t look weak in front of the enemy,” you spat, “Everything is going ahead as scheduled. I don’t even know if Lucy-Gray will be able to play tonight”.
“The interviews”, Coriolanus guessed, still hazy. 
He pulls himself up out of bed, holding out his arm for you to help his rise. 
You do, automatically, hooking his good arm over your shoulder and wrapping your arm across his waist to keep him up. 
‘‘You shouldn’t get out of bed”, you criticize him. 
Normally he wouldn’t ignore you, but the interviews started fifty minutes ago. 
Sejanus rises to in order to assist Coriolanus as he shuffles forward, but Coriolanus barks another order at him. 
“Sejanus, turn the Tv to the interviews”. 
Like a good dog, he obeys. Leaving another man hanging onto his girlfriend. 
“Careful, Corio” Tigres directs. 
Coriolanus takes tigres arm as he couldn’t lift his shoulder so all his weight wasn’t passed on to you. 
The Tv turns just in time to watch Lucy-gray come out with a guitar, and a big smile. 
Sejanus makes his way over to you, offering to take your place as Coriolanus’ anchor. 
He is quick to speak for you. Stating that the change would topple him to the floor. 
Sejanus relents and takes his place beside you. You made no complaints so Coriolanus’ weight couldn’t have been hurting you. 
Coriolanus had missed the opening introduction due to Sejanus, but was now focused enough as Lucy-Gray went into her song. 
“Where did she get the guitar?” Coriolanus asks. He had been too busy to organize her one before the bombing. 
“I brought it for her”, you answer, “i went to see if she was okay after the bombing and she said she needed a guitar for her interview. Said she’ll feel naked without it”. 
“Thank you. That was very kind”, Coriolanus commended softly. 
Coriolanus always knew someday that you and him would make a great team.
Your eyes are trained on Lucy-gray, and Coriolanus followed suit. 
She sang about a boy back home and a betrayal. Was that what she was referring to when she said it was complicated back home. Will she fight with everything she had in her or does she secretly hope that she will die just to spite her past lover. 
It was additional stress Coriolanus could have lived without. 
“The poor girl” you mutter with tears rolling down your face. 
Coriolanus squeezes your shoulders in comfort. 
‘She’ll be okay” he promises. He would ensure it for his own survival and your personal satisfaction now that you and his tribute were friendly. 
“Thank you for being here”, he says looking down at you, before turning his sights to Tigres, “All of you”. 
“It’s what friends do”, Sejanus answers. The only person Coriolanus was not speaking to. 
“I don’t think you should be standing”, you say, trying to turn Coriolanus back to bed. 
He allows you to lead him there where you tuck him back into bed. 
You ruin the moment by going straight back into Sejanus’ arms once Coriolanus has settled. 
“We’ll leave you to rest” Sejanus states. 
He looked too unhappy for a man who held you in his arms. 
“Goodnight” he bids, ‘and y/n, thank you for helping Lucy-Gray tonight”.
Her performance wouldn't have been half as moving with the soft, sad melody accompanying it. 
“Good luck, Coriolanus. I hope she wins”, you remark. 
With the Plinth prize and the love of his life on the line; lucy-gray was going to be the 10th annual winner of the Hunger Games. 
Coriolanus just had to figure out how to give her a competitive edge. 
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He visited the zoo later that night after scouting out the new arena. With four tributes already dead and the new tunnels revealed, the bombing may have been the best thing that had ever happened to him. 
“Lucy-gray!” he calls softly, “Lucy-gray!”
He can hear the pounding of her footsteps as they come closer. He checks for Guards and woken tributes as she made unnecessary noise. None were aroused so he remained in his spot. 
“You’re alive!” She exclaims as she nears the fence. 
“Those bombs have changed everything”, he wastes no time to explain his purpose here, “They blew the walls out. So that means you can escape up into the stands. Theres a hole down in the floor, it leads down to some tunnels. You can escape there, I tried it.So the moment you hear that bell ring, you run as fast as you can for that hole and find a palace to hide down below alone”. 
‘Alone? No, jessups my friend”, she argues. 
He shakes his head ‘no’. 
“The moment that bell rings, you can’t trust anyone. Not even jessup. Just lay low down there until its safe to come out”, he demands. 
Couldn't she see that she was risking not only her own life, but his, with her undying loyalty. 
“Thank you. You and y/n have been so nice to me. I don’t know what I would have done without you both”, Lucy-Grey declares, “I don’t know how i’ll ever pay you back for your kindness”. 
“You can win”, Coriolanus orders, “you winning will be life changing for y/n and I. We can finally live the life we want to live. When you win, you’ll win for all of us”. 
‘I’ll try, but-” she begins but never finishes as Coriolanus cuts her off. 
“Theres no ‘buts’. Theres no other option”, he asserts. 
Lucy-Gray begins to cry from the pressure of it all. 
“Hey”, he whispers in sympathy. 
“I am sorry. I am more hopeful in the day light but when it gets to night”, she whimpers. 
“It’s okay” he consoles, reaching for his handkerchief in his pocket. The same one he used to wipe your tears, he now used to wipe the tears of Lucy-gray. 
“We are going to win, Lucy-Gray. I promise.”.
“Y/n, real lucky to have a friend like you” Lucy-gray comments. 
He knew that. Who else would be willing to risk everything for your happiness. It didn’t even bother him that Lucy-gray referred to him as your friend. 
All that matters is that someone else realizes the depth of his love. 
“I am very lucky to have her”. He breaths. He was cautious to say too much.
“Look, that song, I need to know that you are serious about winning”, he demands. 
“That song? That was just pay back, that’s all”, she defenders, “my old boyfriend Billy taupe was cheating on me with the mayor's daughter. She got crazy jealous, had her pa read my name out on stage, and now everyone will know what they did to me”.
The look upon her face told him that she was serious, so he reached into his breast pocket to pull out his most prized possession. 
“Here” he shoves the compact into Lucy’s-Grays hand.
“I can’t” she resists, “It’s too fine”
He clasps his hands over hers to stop her passing it back. 
“It’s not a gift. It’s a loan. His large hands wrap entirely around Lucy-Gray’s little fingers. 
“Whats in here, don’t touch it. Don’t even breathe it in because small amounts can be deadly”. 
He could faintly see Lucy-gray staring back at him in the dark. Her big brown eyes caught the lighting of the Zoo and shined back at him. 
“I have seen what war does to people, okay?”, he lectures, “I’ve seen it, and there will come a time when you need this, when you need to act. We all do things we’re not proud of to survive.”
Unexpectedly she brings her head forward to bars in an attempt to kiss him. He lowers his head slightly to dissuade her. 
The last thing he needed was word getting back to you through a Tribute pretending to be asleep, or just his poor luck to have a Capitol citizen decide to visit the Zoo at the exact moment of weakness. 
“I am sorry”, she gasps, “you said it was complicated with y/n, and y/n said she was with Sejanus so I”. 
She doesn’t finish her sentence, too embarrassed. 
Coriolanus shakes it off like it was nothing, in an attempt to ease her. 
“It’s fine. I just”, Coriolanus wasn’t sure what to say. 
You were with Sejanus. There was no real reason why he couldn’t kiss lucy-gray. 
It was mis-guided loyalty to a woman who kissed another man. Sometimes right in front of Coriolanus. 
Still it didn’t feel right. He wanted you to be the only person he kissed. 
“It’s”, Coriolanus begins. 
“Complicated”, Lucy-Gray finishes. 
Coriolanus moves closer, bringing his head as far as he could to the bars.
“We’re gonna win this Lucy-Gray. We’re gonna win this together. I’m going to get you home, back to the Covery, okay? I promise”. 
Coriolanus looks at his victor. His dog in the race. He’s bet it all on her, and he’ll be damned if she was going to let him down.
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The morning of the Games, Coriolanus couldn’t even eat his cabbage soup that Tigres had worked so hard to prepare. 
He kisses Grandma’am and Tigress goodbye before beginning his long journey to school. 
There would be cameras and crowds of people. He had to look composed, but inside he felt the most scared he had ever been. 
The feeling eased seeing you across the auditorium. 
Your hair was down, and your uniform looked freshly pressed. Sejanus held you by the waist as you spoke to him, and you rested your hands on top of his. 
It didn’t matter you were here for Coriolanus just as much as you were for Sejanus. His tribute wasn’t even participating. If anything you had come to support Coriolanus and Lucy-Gray. 
“Coryo!” Sejanus called for him as he approached the mentors chairs. 
Sejanus lets go of you, which is something Coriolanus would never do, to place a hand on Coriolanus shoulder. 
“Hey” Coriolanus greets. His eyes remain on you and how you smile at him. 
“How you doing?  You alright?” Sejanus asks. 
“Better”, Coriolanus dismisses. 
He sees a photographer approaching from the corner of his eye, and takes the opportunity to take a step back to invite you between Sejanus and himself. 
With a hand on your lower back, he propels you forward. The hand remains as you shuffle next to him. 
“Over here please!”, the man with the large camera calls. 
Coriolanus smiles at the camera, and he hoped you were too. The flash blinds him, and your smiles fades too fast to be certain it ever was really there. 
“How are you this morning?”, Coriolanus asks softly. 
“Not about to be forced to fight to the death”, you snap.
You don’t look at him as you speak as you often choose not to do. 
“Here we go. Here we go, everyone, come on”, Lucky flickerman diverts people back to their seats, before Coriolanus has the opportunity to comfort you.
Sejanus' large hand goes to the back of your neck, and he leans down to whisper in your ear. 
“Wait for me over there?” he asks, flicking his head to the nearest bleacher to his seat. 
It was the furthest from Coriolanus’ seat, but you nod in agreement and move to his direction. 
Coriolanus is ushered into his own seat. He has to crane his neck to look at you sitting on the end of the bleacher all by yourself. He hates to see you as a social out-cast. 
“Five, four, three, two”, the music signals the start of Lucky Flickerman's introduction. 
Coriolanus ignores him mostly. Turning in his chair to watch you engrossed in the large television in front of you. 
Your hands grip the seat underneath you. He would give anything to be able to comfort you. 
He wanted to tell you that it was all going to be okay. If he sat you where he wanted, he would have been able to hold your hand, but Sejanus had put distance between you and him, so he would have to watch from afar. 
Suddenly you gasp, bring your hand up to your mouth with a frightened expression. 
Coriolanus turns back to the screens to see what could have caused such a reaction. 
They had found Marcus and left him strung up and half-alive in the arena. It was cruel even for Coriolanus. 
You shouldn’t have had to see that. Coriolanus wished he could have protected you from it. A district boy taught a lesson, at the expense of your poor, soft heart. 
You’ll be crying about it for weeks with only Sejanus for consolation. 
Coriolanus wasn’t sure who would be comforting who with the way Sejanus jumped from his chair. 
As soon as he is out of it, the chair was flying across the room. Only stopping when it hits the force of the wall. 
“You’re monsters! All of you!” He screams to the audience. 
He storms past Lucky flickerman who begins the countdown to the Games as if Sejanus had never existed at all. 
Coriolanus gets up, rushing over to you as you rise to follow Sejanus. 
He manages to catch your arm just as you make it to the exit way. 
The scene was out of the line of camera-shot. Past the first three rows of seats, and hidden by the depth of the stands. 
Coriolanus felt hidden enough to not let go of your arm, despite you struggling against him. 
You turn back to see how had stopped you with an angry expression, but it doesn’t soften when you see it’s him. 
“Don’t”, he begs. He wanted you to stay and support him. 
It didn’t matter if you knew it or not, but you were his biggest comfort, and that’s what he needed as he watched Lucy-Gray fight for his life. 
You don’t listen to him, tugging your arm out of his grip and chasing after Sejanus without looking back. 
Coriolanus watches as you go with a heavy breath.
‘And they’re off!” Lucky announces. 
Coriolanus turns to watch Lucy-Gray run from her mark.
“Run”, he demands softly. He takes a few steps forward but is halted when Lucy-Gray remains in the same spot, looking around. 
“What are you doing? Run” he groans. 
He staggers back to his seat, gripping the plastic back tightly in his hand. 
His eyes shut when Lucy-Gray narrowly avoids a strike from Reaper.  
Why won’t anyone ever listen to him, he wondered. 
A district 2 kid gets slaughtered which gains the Cameras full attention. When it pans back to a field shot, Lucy-Gray was crossing the broken fragments with Coral hot on her heels. 
Coriolanus felt the need to take a seat as he watched. A few of his eliminated classmates wished him well as they left, but Coriolanus remained slumped against his hand. 
It wasn’t until she had gathered Jessup and began racing for the hole in the ground that Coriolanus lifted his head again. 
“Go, go, go”, he muttered. The pack was closing in. Hell bent on taking out Lucy-gray. 
They almost manage to, but Lucy-Gray slips through the broken door, and a squabble prohibits the hunters coming in. 
He sighs. At least she was safe for now. He would worry about Jessup when it came time for it. Whats the point of worrying now? It was still anybody's game. He could very well die within the next hour from a surprise attack. 
Coriolanus squirms in his seat watching as another child is hacked apart by dull weapons. 
He pushes it from his mind as soon as the camera shifts. Lucy-Gray was safe, thats all that mattered. She still has a shot at winning. 
Nothing more happened. All the tributes found shelter in one corner or another. Only Reaper paced the opened space, willing someone to come attack him. 
Coriolanus wonders if you will be back. He hoped you would come check on him. 
Coriolanus rises his head to the screen once more as Lamina makes her way up the broken fragments to where Marcus hung. Reaper gave her space, seemingly knowing what she was doing. 
A small conversation between the two preceded Lamina swinging her axe down. 
Coriolanus shudders hearing the impact. He hoped you didn’t see that. 
He could only imagine the sobbing it would cause. 
Lamina cuts marcus down and he falls like a bag of bricks. 
She gazes down at him. Coriolanus couldn’t tell if it was in remorse, or in quiet pride of giving him a merciful death.
The sound of the drone coming near broke her concentration. The water attached swung in the air as it flew too fast towards her. She rose, reaching out to catch it. 
Coriolanus almost laughed when it drove straight past her and smashed into the rocks. 
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The night dragged on, but Coriolanus remained. Eyes glued to the screen in hope of a glance of Lucy-Gray. 
The camera stayed mainly above ground where the action was, but sometimes he got a dash at what Lucy-Gray was doing. 
She was still alive. Or at least was, ten minutes ago. 
The other mentors, and most of the audience had left as the night bled. 
Nothing had really happened for hours. A squabble or a chase here and there but most of the fight had left the tributes. 
“If only you could trap y/n as easily as you have trapped that poor girl”, Dean Highbottoms voice surprised Coriolanus.
“I’ve trapped her?”Coriolanus fought, “I didn’t create the Games”.
He saw Dean Highbottom flinch ever so slightly. If he hadn't been looking so intensely, he would have missed it. 
“No”, Highbottom concedes, “but you’ve fueled its continuance. You’ve turned dying children into spectacles , Mr Snow. Congratulations”.
Coriolanus ignores him, turning back to the screens. 
“Are you honestly hoping that winning the plinth prize will win you the girl?”, Dean Highbottom mocks. 
“I am hoping my hard work will pay off”, Coriolanus bites. 
“I saw you before with miss y/n, trying to stop her from leaving”. 
“I was trying to stop her from making a fool out of herself”.
“What do you want from that poor girl?”. 
Coriolanus knew there was no point in lying. Dean Highbottom had already figured out Coriolanus’ intentions. 
“Only whats best”, he answers. 
“Hm and you think winning the Plinth prize will help you decide what is best for her?”, Hightbom begins to laugh, his voice taking on a sing-songy tone, “Wake up mr Snow. Who do you think decides? Even if your songbird wins, I’ll do everything in my power to ensure you don’t see a single dime of that prize money’. 
Coriolanus turns back to Highbottom with his anger logged in his throat.
The older man smiles back. Coriolanus knew the man was trying to get him to slip up. But his aggravation won’t lose him the prize. If Highbottom wanted it, he would have to rip it from Coriolanus���s hands. 
Instead he turns back to the screen. Lucy-gray was still underground, feeding Jessup water. 
He could hear Dean Highbottom walking away which left him with a small victory. 
Coriolanus takes a deep breath, and sits straightener in his chair. 
It wasn’t over. Dean Highbottom wasn’t the only authority. When Coriolanus won, surely Dr Gaul would fight for him. The other teachers too. The star pupil robbed of the victory? Coriolanus would see to an up roar. 
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At some point Coriolanus began to doze off. The late night and the slow turn of events left him the last one in the auditorium. The quietness of it all had his eyes shutting.
“Coriolanus?”. He heard your voice call. 
He ignores it ,sure it was a dream. But you tap his arm, and his eyes shoot open to see you standing in front of him. 
You were still in your school uniform, your hair slightly more messy than a couple of hours prior and you looked on the verge of tears. 
It panicked him greatly to see you in such a state. 
He reaches out, quickly taking your wrist in his hold. 
“Huh, what happened? Are you okay?”, he asks. 
“Has Sejanus been here?”, you quake. 
Coriolanus shakes his head ‘no’. 
He could have rolled his eyes. Of course, Sejanus was behind your tears once more. Coriolanus had never made you cry. 
“Why would he be here?”, Coriolanus asks. It seemed an unlikely place to visit while his old friend lay dead on several different screens.
Tears begin to roll down your cheeks causing Coriolanus to spring up, attempting to bring you in his arms. You push him away, keeping an arms length distance between you both. 
“I thought maybe he would come see you. We were sleeping and I woke up, and he was gone”, you explain with a shaky breath, “I don’t know where he could have went, Coriolanus. He’s not in a good place. I am worried-”
“Not in a good place, indeed” Dr Gauls voice booms through the open space. 
This time when Coriolanus touched you, he was given permission. He pulls you next to him to face Dr Gaul together. 
Dr Gaul was disinterested in the couple, taking the master remote and turning all the channels  to the same camera. 
“Sejanus!”, you gasp upon seeing your boyfriend knelt down next to his old friend in the arena. 
Your hand takes a hold of Coriolanus' arm in a tight grip. Your painted nails dig into his uniform jacket. 
“Breadcrumbs” Dr Gaul annotates while the room watches Sejanus spread the food over his friend, “I believe substance for a fallen comrade in his final journey. A district 2 superstition”. 
“How did he get in there?” you question, never once tearing your eyes from the screen. 
“I’ll work on finding the peacekeeper he bribed to let him in, and remove his tongue”, Dr Gual snarls, “in the meantime I need you to get him out right now”. 
Dr Gaul looked directly at you which spiked Coriolanus heart rate, 
“You should send Peacekeepers in”, he demanded. There was no way you were joining Sejanus in the arena. 
“Only to have him bolt and hide like a rabbit?”, Dr Gaul retorts. “Fleix Ravenstill is fighting for his life in a hospital bed, Mr Snow. I will not have these rebels make a further mockery of my games. Anyone sees us lose control of this arena, it might as well be sounding a horn to the districts to revolt!”. 
Dr Gaul takes a breath, trying to regain the composure lost. She turns her sight back on you, who had dropped Coriolanus' arm during her speech. 
You stood brave, staring straight back at her with discontempt. 
“You choose to be lovers with the radical. Don’t you want him out?”, Dr Gaul gages you. 
Coriolanus steps forward trying to take Dr Gauls attention away from you. 
‘‘Sending her into the arena will get her killed. It’ll look a lot worse if the tributes kill two Capitol students”, Coriolanus justifies. 
“A volunteer then?”,Dr Gual pushes.
“I’ll go”, You say too quickly, “I can get him out”.
“I’ll go”, Coriolanus declares. 
The mere thought of you in the arena left a sick feeling in his stomach. He wouldn’t watch helplessly on the other side of the screen while you risked your life for Sejanus. 
He couldn’t believe Sejanus had put you in this position. Coriolanus’s every move was calculated with you in mind. 
It was pure luck that you had chosen to seek Coriolanus out. If you hadn’t he would have woken the next morning to see you dead in the arena next to Sejanus. 
He would go into the arena to save Sejanus if it meant saving you. 
“No!” you protested, once again grabbing hold of Coriolanus arm to pull him back. 
He turns to you with a look of irritation on his face. 
“What chance do you think you stand if one of the tributes decide to attack? I am stronger, faster”, Coriolanus explained. He hated being irritated at you, but you wouldn’t see sense, “I’ll get him out, y/n. I promise”. 
“Unless you are both secretly hoping he’ll die in that arena, we need to move fast”, Dr Gaul utters.
Her expression had changed from one of anger to quiet amusement, but she had not forgotten the task at hand. 
She turns, expecting the children to follow her as she talks. Coriolanus follows suit, leading you as you wrap yourself around his arm. 
He would have shaken you off. You had no place being even near the arena, let alone outside of its gates, but he loved the way you clung to him. 
Your tight hold told him you would fight if he tried to leave you. Really it was the way you should be holding him. Not just now, in a state of emergency. 
“I’ll freeze the feed for one hour”, Dr Gaul says as she moves out of the school, “I expect thats all the time we have until someone notices”. 
A Peacekeeper van is waiting down the steps of the school. Dr Gaul jumps in, leaving the back of the van open for the children. 
Coriolanus helps you up into the back of the van before lifting himself up behind you. The doors are closed shut as he enters, and the van takes off before he is fully sat next to you.
You are unusually quiet. Coriolanus could tell you were scared from the way you sat. Arms crossed across your chest, looking straight ahead of you with a glazed look. 
Coriolanus places a hand on your knee in comfort but you don’t seem to register it. 
He tries not to mind Dr Gauls' searing stare from the other bench. He focuses on you and your state of worry. 
You begin to chew your lip absentmindedly. He wanted to pull it from between your teeth to get you to stop, but the van lurched forward as it stopped. 
The drive wasn’t long, but the peacekeeper sped to it anyway. 
As the doors are pulled open, Coriolanus takes a deep breath. There was no guarantee that he wouldn't be beaten to death by a tribute trying to save a man he loathed. 
Grandma’am and Tigres wouldn’t survive without him, but if he died, he would at least make sure Sejanus died along with him. 
If he couldn't have you, Sejanus definitely couldn’t. 
“Lets go, Mr Snow”, Dr Gual urges. 
She jumps out first. Coriolanus could hear her directing the Peacekeepers on what was about to happen. 
You rise with Coriolanus. But He doesn’t allow you to get to the door as he does. 
He jumps down and spins, placing his hand on the doors and bringing them closer together. 
"Stay in the van”, he orders. 
Surely, even on the off chance that a tribute managed to get through the gates, you would be safe in a locked van. 
You nod your head in understanding, trying to ease his worry. 
It doesn’t work but he appreciates it anyway. 
He smiles up at you, taking the time to have a good look at you in case it was his last time. 
With the doors shut on you, he could focus more clearly. He wasn’t going to die in that arena. He wasn’t going to die by a district hand. 
He was going to get out alive. You were going to wake up to yourself and realise that you had been hopelessly in love with Coriolanus this whole time. 
The gates are unlocked and he feels his confidence waver. Nevertheless, he persits with his mission and with a careful step he enters the arena. 
It’s dark and quiet. The moonlight does little to help. A tribute could jump out at any time and Coriolanus would never see them coming. 
He was cautious to make any sounds,  stepping softly on the fragmented rocks. 
The gate makes it stupid welcome message as he passes through it under the belief the game makers would have been smart enough to disable it. 
His breath gets caught in his throat while waiting to see who it attracts. He doesn’t move. 
He feels the blood rush to his ears, and his body ready itself to fight. No one comes. 
Coriolanus’s eyes scan the room for whatever movement he could pick up on. It seemed there was none. 
With a shaky breath he attempts to continue on, when his heightened ears pick up on a scuffle behind him. 
He spins quickly, ready to dodge an attack. He wished it had been a tribute, and not you trying to climb over the turn stalls. 
On its own accord, his face scrunches in anger. His footsteps are louder than he liked as he stormed over to you. 
He takes your hips into what he was sure was a painful hold, and looks past you to see they had already locked the gate. You were now trapped in here with angry Tributes with nothing to lose. 
Previously, he had never thought it possible to be angry with you. Now he wanted to scream in your face until you cried. 
He helps you down, softly to the ground, and catches your hand harshly in his. 
“You’re an idiot”, he whispers, “Stay close”. 
He squeezes your fingers into the palm of his hand, but you make no complaint as you follow him into the arena. 
Coriolanus felt his anxiety and senses heightened. He could faintly see Sejanus in the moonlight still knelt on the ground next to Marcus. 
He felt you pull against his hold as you near Sejanus, but he refuses to let you go an inch. 
If there was a tribute lurking he wanted to know where you were. 
“Sejanus”, you whisper when you are within earshot. 
He spins straight away upon hearing you. The panic he should have had all along, comes crashing all at once. He looked like a man who had seen a ghost as he rose from the floor. 
‘What are you doing here?”, he questions in a strained, soft voice. 
Sejanus takes your arms in his hands. Coriolanus wanted to yank you out of his hold, but a squabble would cause unnecessary attention. 
“Get her out of here, Coryo”, Sejanus demands.
“I would like to. Believe me”, Coriolanus scolds. His eyes darted around the room, ensuring that all was still unnoticed. 
“I am not leaving without you”, with your free hand you reach out to take a fist full of Sejanus shirt. 
“I have to do this” Sejanus justifies, “I have to go where the cameras are”. 
“You think anyone is watching this?” Coriolanus spat, taking a step closer to the couple, “Gaul cut the feed. Tributes kill you in here, she’s just going to say you died from the flu”. 
“They won’t kill me”, Sejanus vows. 
“Yes they will!” you reproach. 
Maybe there was hope for you, Coriolanus thinks, Maybe Sejanus hadn’t brainwashed you fully. 
The moonlight as it bounces off Lamina’s axe catches Coriolanus’s eye, and the safety net had now disappeared. She wouldn’t attack, but she could draw attention at any time. 
“You need to decide right now”, Coriolanus demands, he breaks Sejanus' hold on you in case you need to run, and focuses Sejanus attention on himself, “do you want to fight these tributes or fight for them? Because if you want to make real change, you need to stay alive”. 
“How can I make any change from out there?”, Sejanus discredits his power. 
He was not worthy of his power if he had no brains on how to use it. 
“You’re rich, smart. You care. You stood up to Gaul in that class, didn’t you? Spend your fathers money, do some real good”, a clash of the metal resounds in the arena. More would wake from the noise, and the group wouldn’t stand a chance. 
“We’re dead. Y/n’s dead if we don’t leave right now”, Coriolanus reprimand, “Come with us, or just be another body in Gaul’s war”. 
He knew he would have to fight to get you to leave Sejanus. But he was only allowing a few more seconds before he raced you to the exit. 
Worried that you would get yourself killed in the struggle to save Sejanus, Coriolanus turns to begging as a last resort. 
Placing a hand on Sejanus' shoulder, he brings the delusional boy closer. 
“Please, Sejanus. We’re friends. Trust me”, Coriolanus pleaded. 
You tug on Sejanus' shirt to move, “Come” you implore. 
His large, dirty palm goes over your hand, “Alright”, he whispers. 
The attack came at the perfect time. Coriolanus heard the shuffling of the boys shoes giving him time to pull you back towards the exit, before the war cry resounded through the arena. 
“Go, Run!” he demands, pushing you ahead of him. 
You sprint as fast as you can across the broken floor. Coriolanus caught up easily, pushing you forward urging you to move faster.  
Sejanus lagged behind, choosing to look at the fast approaching tribute. 
“Go! Go!” Coriolanus yells at you when you turn around to see where Sejanus was. 
You don’t look back again, until you reach the turn stalls. 
Coriolanus jumps over with ease, turning back to help you over. You stumble as your foot gets stuck on the rusty metal turn, and Coriolanus drags you over it as fast as he could. 
His hand takes a hold of yours once more as Sejanus approaches the stand with the tribute hot on his heels. 
He runs forward with you, eager to get you to safety beyond the gates. 
Sejanus screams as he stumbles over the hard metal and you halt your quick pace to safety. 
You call for him, trying to tug your hand out of Coriolanus’s. He resists, trying to get you to leave Sejanus.
Coriolanus promises to go back for him once you were beyond the gates but you wouldn’t have it. 
He drops your hand, rathering his own life to be in danger for Sejanus than yours. 
Coriolanus reaches Sejanus quicker than you do, and yanks him off the ground. 
‘Come on, get up!”Sejanus tries to regain his feet but his knee refuses to take any weight, “y/n, get to the gate!”, Coriolanus commands. 
You don’t turn, running towards Sejanus instead of away. You take his other arm over your shoulder, trying to assist Coriolanus. 
The screaming of the tribute came closer, and before Coriolanus could move, the sharp edge of a blade hacked into his shoulder. It was a far swing from the tribute but with enough force to split skin. 
He drops Sejanus to dodge the next attack. You fall into the wall, unable to support Sejanus by yourself.
The tribute now closer, stalks over to you with his sword held high. Sejanus tries a feeble attempt to shield you, but Coriolanus takes hold of a metal ruin that was stuck between cement, determined that not one hair on your head would be touched. 
He scrambles off the ground and swings the cement at the tribute with a loud scream. 
The young boy stumbles off balance, but readies himself again. He swung back with the blade which Coriolanus narrowly missed before bringing the cement down across the boy's head. 
It lands him on the ground, but Coriolanus doesn’t stop there, bringing it down once more on the boy who threatened his girl 
“Coriolanus!” you call to him. More tributes were coming out of the shadows. 
He drops his weapon, going back over to you to help lift the weight of Sejanus. 
Sejanus pushes through the pain to quicken the pace of the shuffle, but comotion had inlived  the most dangerous pack. Corals groups hooped and hollered as they approached.  
“Y/n, open the gate!”, Coriolanus demands, wanting you to be first out. 
Sejanus drops his arm from your shoulder, and you take the permission to take off ahead and bang on the gate until it opens. 
Coriolanus could hear the tributes as they run. They weren’t far off. He wasn’t sure they would even make it to the gate in time, but you would and that’s what matters. 
You push yourself out with the gate as it opens, turning back to look at the boys with wide, fearful eyes. 
Coriolanus pushes himself to be faster, taking nearly all of Sejanus' weight onto him. 
They make it just in time, and fall to a heap on the floor next to Peacekeepers boots. 
Corioanus pushes Sejanus off him. His hand reaches for his shoulder that now weeped blood. 
He groans as he feels the ache of the gash, next to his still searing burn mark.
He is distracted momentarily when Coral reaches the gate, and throws her spear into it. 
“Keep your eyes on the screen, gorgeous”, she taunts Coriolaus, throwing her head in the direction of you, “ I may have missed her tonight, but your songbirds next on my list”. 
The Peacekeepers demand that her group get back and the tributes disappear back into the dark tunnel.
He had followed Corals gaze to you on the floor. Your tears run down your cheeks now that the adrenaline is gone. 
Coriolanus moves to get you off the floor and into his arms, but you move as he does, and crawl across the floor to where Sejanus lay. 
You wrap your arms around his neck and sob into him. 
“I am okay”, he promises. His large hand rubs soothing circles on your back. 
You pull back in anger and begin hitting his chest as you speak. 
“How could you?”, you reprimand, “how could you do that?”.
“I am sorry, I had to do something”. Sejanus winces as he tries to sit up. His knee no doubt, completely ruined. 
“You could have been killed”, you cry with a push against his attempted hold. 
Was this the end of the bleeding heart couple? Coriolanus felt a spark of joy, watching as you fought. 
“Coriolanus could have died!”, as if you had forgotten about him you now turn to him, ‘Oh, Coriolanus”, you cry, “Are you okay?”. 
Coriolanus hand went back to his shoulder, feeling the wet patch of blood soak through his school jacket. He had no other uniform, even Tigres wouldn't be able to fix it. 
“Coryo, I am so sorry”, Sejanus apologies. It meant nothing to Coriolanus who ignored him. 
A car screeches to a stop and two car doors slam. 
The car is sleek and expensive with its own full time driver waiting with the lights on. 
Next to it stood Ma and Mr Plinth, who were well dressed as always. 
Ma was crying, but Mr Plinth stood stoic and angry. 
He gave Coriolanus a thankful nod but remained far away expecting his son to come to him. 
Ma runs over to her baby, wrapping herself around her sons head. 
Coriolanus takes the opportunity to move closer to you. You stand upon seeing him approach. 
“Are you alright?’, he questioned. 
You reach up, taking his neck and bringing him down into a hug. He gratefully goes, never expecting a hug before the relationship began. 
“Thank you, Coriolanus. I would have died in there”, you muttered. 
The hug is too short, before he is ready you are pulling away to look at his shoulder. 
“Coriolanus needs help!’, you announce, “Somebody needs to take him to the hospital!”. 
“Come with me”, he begs you.
“Don’t worry, Miss y/n. I’ll take care of our hero here”, Dr Gaul inserts herself where she is not wanted once more. She looked amused at Coriolanus’s physical and emotional pain. 
“Y/n, baby”, Sejanus calls to you. The driver had left the car to assist Sejanus while his father looks on. 
Coriolanus reluctantly lets go as you move to the sound of your name. 
“You’ll look after him?”, you question Dr Gaul. Coriolanus wanted to beg you not to believe her. 
“He’ll be good as new. You have my word”, Dr Gaul promises. 
He shutters as you move further back. 
Mr Plinth does not cross for his son, but he crosses to come collect you. 
He wraps an arm around your shoulder to lead you to the car. 
You look back at Coriolanus as you are led. Taking one final glance before entering the car with Sejanus. 
Coriolanus watches as the car takes off. He wondered if you had your arms wrapped around Sejanus in the back. 
He decides it is best not to submit his body to further stress and pushes it out of his mind. The walk home would help him clear his head, and focus only on the positives of the night. You relied on him tonight. Even acknowledged that he had saved your life. That was a step in the right direction. 
“And where do you think you are going, Mr Snow”, Dr Gaul calls out after him. 
“Home”, he announces over his good shoulder. 
‘And make a liar out of me?” she walks in the opposite direction towards the Peacekeeper van, “Come”. 
The ride back is silent. The same hurry to get there was not offered on the way back. Coriolanus shoulder ached, the blood would not stop pouring, sticking his shirt to his back and irritating his wound. 
Dr gaul doesn’t speak again until they are back in her lab. 
He couldn’t believe she had taken him back to her experimental freak show instead of a hospital. But he was in pain and in need of medical care so he didn’t verbalize his complaints.
“How did it feel?” she asks as she readies her station for him, “when you killed the boy to save y/n?”. 
He should have known she was watching. 
‘I didn’t have a choice”, he spat as he unbuttoned his shirt and took a seat in front of her. 
She laughs at him as she begins her first stitch. 
“All your fine manners, education, background, stripped away in a blink of an eye. Fueled with the terror of becoming prey, how fast we become predators".
Coriolanus lets out a shaky breath as the adrenaline dies down and the needle stitches him together. 
“Who would have thought that one day Crassus Snow’s boy would be fighting for his life in the area over a girl?”, he feels her stop stitching while she waits for the answer to her next question, “That's why you did it no? It wasn’t until news of her involvement that you volunteered. Or did you still wish to proceed with the guise of friendship?”
“Sejanus is not my friend”, Coriolanus declares. 
Her needle work began again, pleased with his answer. 
“You want to protect y/n, Mr Snow? Then it’s essential that you accept what human beings are, and what it takes to control them”. 
He feels her knot the thread into his skin
“So I’ll ask you again, when you beat that boy to death with a club, how did it feel?”. 
“It felt”, Coriolanus breathed, wondering if he should give the honest answer. Deciding he had nothing to lose from it, he answers. 
“It felt powerful”.
“Answer this next one honestly and you won’t have to walk home”, Dr Gaul teases, “Were you hoping that Sejanus died tonight?”
“Yes”, Coriolanus croaks. His own tears welling in his eyes. He refuses to let any more than two fall, which are wiped away harshly. 
“How did it feel to have her life in your hands tonight?”, Dr Gaul pushes. 
Coriolanus nods, unable to form words. 
A hand is placed on his good shoulder. She squeezes to let him know the sincerity of her words. 
“People will do anything to survive, Mr Snow. It doesn’t matter how miserable of an existence it is”. 
Coriolanus thinks to his bare apartment, and cinder block bed. It was true, and he was living proof. 
Survival meant hope. 
He closes his eyes, feeling more tears forming and remembers how malleable you were tonight. You trusted him wholly with your survival, and with that came power over you. 
Lucy-Gray was the same. Tonight you showed him the same loyalty, and respect that you had denied him previously. 
Lucy-Gray had tried to kiss him, and you melded your body to him when you could. He was sure if you were alone, you would have kissed him for saving your life. 
If only he could trap you as easily as Lucy-gray. Keep you in a state of panic that rendered you totally dependent on him. 
He lets out a low, breathy laugh, remembering Dean Highbottoms words. 
Maybe the old man could see more than Coriolanus would like. 
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Despite the pain in his shoulder and his little sleep, Coriolanus arrived back at the auditorium bright and early.
Lucy-Gray was still alive. He could see her sleeping against a pole next to Jessup. 
The dead tribute was noticed, but soon forgotten. Only Lysistrata pushed to know more, but she too dropped the subject as the tributes began to wake and fight. 
There were ten tributes left. Not an impossible task for Lucy-Gray to outlive them all. 
He kept careful watch of the screens.  While the rest of the mentors took lunch, and socialized, Coriolanus sat with his head in his hand, hoping for a split second of screen time that told him Lucy-Gray was okay. 
“Coriolanus!”. Your voice shocked him as it appeared. 
He stood to greet you. It was a welcomed but unexpected visit. The games were announced a public holiday, you had no obligation to be at school. 
He would have thought after last night that you would be glued to Sejanus’s side. Was this the beginning of the end? 
“Y/n, what are you doing here?”, he questioned. 
In the daylight he could see a bruise on your temple from when toppled into the wall, under Sejanus. He reaches out to run his finger across the black spot, and you hit his hand away. 
“What are you doing here?”, you push back with a hard tone “I went to your house to check on you, but Tigres said you were here?”. 
Coriolanus felt his body twitch at your words. You went to his run down apartment? How much did you see? Surely, Tigres shielded his shame. Your eyes didn’t carry pity, maybe you didn’t know. 
“Don’t you ever go to my apartment without my permission again”, he scolded. 
That was close. Too close. He was days from getting the plinth prize. Days from burying his decade long shame. 
You seemed drawn back at his harsh tone. He had never spoken to you unkindly before. 
In an effort to ease the mood once more, before you left, he threw his hands up as if it wasn’t a big deal. 
“My Grandmother has severe social anxiety. We can’t have unexpected visitors”, he lies with a soft and airy tone. 
“Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t know”, you offer. 
Coriolanus tuts, bringing his hand up once more to brush the hair off your bruise. 
“You shouldn’t have been in there”, he complains. 
The bruise looked painful. He was sure it would cause you a headache. You should be resting with ice upon it, not here talking to him. 
“No one should be in there”, you return. 
His hand is pushed away again, but he attributes it being too soft to touch, rather than disdain for him touching you. 
"Thank you for checking on me”, he says. 
“You shouldn’t be here, Coriolanus. Not after last night”. 
“Lucy-Gray needs me”, he observes.
Your eyes flick to the screen behind him, before back to Coriolanus’s eyes and nod in agreement.
“Sejanus is in the hospital. They have him on morphline. His knee will never work fully, but he is alive and that's because of you”, you proclaim, “Lucy-Gray is fortunate to have you looking out for her. We all are”. 
His heart flutters. ‘We all are’, yes! Yes! You were lucky to have him looking out for you. Have you finally come to appreciate all he does for you?
He smiles down at you. If his shoulder didn’t ache, he would have reached out for you. 
“If there’s anything I can do”, you offer.
“There is!” He responds too quickly. 
He clears his throat, trying to conceal his eagerness. 
“There is”, repeats more even toned, “You could stay. I could use the support”. 
You looked unsure of the request, but he had saved your life just hours prior, so you felt an obligation to do as he asked. 
“Sure, Coriolanus”, you finally say, although you still looked unsure, “I can stay for a little bit”. 
He could barely breathe. The “great” he manages to get out is hardly above a whisper. 
He leads you to the front bench just in front of the first row of mentor chairs.
You sit obediently and he takes his new seat in front of you.
The tributes have become more lively. Coral was on the hunt for Lucy-Gray trying to convince one of her group members to go down and flush her out. 
None would so they go back to making traps to catch Reaper. 
Coriolanus reaches his hand back to you, trying to see how far his luck would take him. 
You do take his hand into your own, but only for the time it took to give him three encouraging pats to the back of his hand. 
It was close enough. Leaving Coriolanus with a feeling of satisfaction. 
The feeling stayed for less than a second. His good mood disappeared when the camera flew back to Lucy-Gray underground. 
Jessup was getting agitated. Yelling at Lucy-Gray and twitching uncontrollably. 
“What’s he doing?”Coriolanus jumps out of his chair and moves closer to the screens. 
“They’re friends. He wouldn’t hurt her”, you comment, coming up beside him. 
“Somethings wrong”, Lysistrata agrees, “He wouldn’t turn on her like this”.
Lucy-Gray makes a mad dash away which only further angers Jessup, determined that he had done something. 
Coriolanus watches in panic. Lucy-gray couldn't defend herself. She would never hurt Jessup, even in his mad state. 
“Go to the stands, go to the stands!”, he directs. 
Lucy-gray does go to the stands, climbing up as fast as she could but Jessup was determined to catch her. 
Coriolanus couldn’t watch. He turns and paces, trying to figure out a way to save Lucy-Gray. 
It couldn’t be over. You had only just come around, he needed more time.
The camera zooms in on Jessup allowing full view of the white form dripping down his lips. 
‘Wait, look”, he tells you. 
Your hand balls at your mouth. He hated to see you so frightened yet again. 
As soon as this was all over, he would ensure nothing would ever worry you again. 
“I think it rabies," he announces. 
He could have danced. There was a way out of this mess. The game wasn’t over yet. 
“That bite from the train”, Lysistrata deducts. 
“Send him water”. He demands of Lysistrata. 
“What? No”, she denines. 
He leans across her desk so she is forced to look at him. He was half tempted to just take control of her computer himself. 
“You remember the posters from the war. Rabies. It makes you scared of water. Send him a drone”, he demanded. 
“That’ll scare him”. 
He knew Livy had come to care for Jessup
“Yes” Coriolanus agrees in a hard tone, “away from her”. 
Lysistrata still looked in denial. There was no other option, both their tributes didn’t have to die. 
“Jessup is done”, he says with haste, “Livy, you’re the only one that can get it right to him”. 
Coming to grips with reality, Livy does as she is told, sending a water drone in the direction of Jessup. 
“Thank you”, Coriolanus feels better watching the drone fly in. 
“Nothing to be proud of”, Livy mutters. 
As planned, the drone smashes into him just as he reaches Lucy-gray. 
He hears you gasp as Jessup falls to his death and hits the bottom with a heavy thud. 
He turns to see you still with your hand pressed tightly against your mouth, and eyes squeezed shut. 
The sight makes him feel horrible that he had asked you to stay. 
You were on the side of his sore shoulder so he had to reach across with his good hand to touch you. 
“Coryo”, Livy called as Carol’s group came out of hiding. 
The hand on you balls watching as Corals group surrounds Lucy-gray. 
“Oh no”, he complains. 
He needed to make a distraction, so she could run and hide. He couldn’t just stand and watch. But the only thing he could do was send food and water in on badly operated drones. 
The same badly operated drones that just took Jessup out. 
He reaches for his communipad, and selects as many bottles of water as it would let him. 
He didn’t need to kill the group. Only give Lucy-Gray a chance to get away
The drones go flying in. He hoped Lucy-Gray wouldn’t give the surprise away, but she managed to keep her cool until it was time to duck. 
“Hey! You can’t attack the tributes” a fellow mentor complained. 
“I am just sending water”, Coriolanus jeered. 
He could hear your chuckle of approval behind him. You reach out to his good shoulder and murmur in his ear. 
“Good work”, you encouraged. 
He wished he could have stayed in the moment but it wasn’t over yet. Lucy-gray disappears into the dust, taking with her a bottle of water. 
She hides in the shelter of the ruin and he can faintly see her take something from her dress pocket. 
No there, he wanted to say. What if someone saw her poison the water and he was disquailified. 
He looks around the room to check no one else is noticing. All eyes seemed to be on the group turning against Lamina. 
Lucy-Gray ducks back out with the water, placing it back on the ground before emptying the others collected. It wasn’t a bad idea. 
Lamina's death stopped the clock and the attention was once more turned back to Lucy-gray. 
“Go” you mutter, flicking your hands out as if she could see. 
Lucy-Gray takes off with Coral and her group chasing her back up the stands. She finds an air duct and dives to close it in time. 
Coral catches it before it fully closes and it begins a tug of war against the two. 
“No, No”, you complain. 
He wanted to shield your eyes from the screen. With every inch Coral got, Lucy-Gray found the strength to tug it back. 
When it finally closes, sealing Lucy-gray in safety, Coriolanus lets out  a sigh of relief. 
“She’s Okay” he says to you. 
Coral takes out another tribute over a squabble over the water, and Dill drinks the poisoned water. 
So that was three dead tributes in less than 20 minutes. With this pace Coriolanus would be announced winner before the night ended. 
He sat you back down on your seat, and retook his in front of you. Your fingers cling to the bench underneath you, and your posture is tight and unnatural. 
He expects you to leave him, but you remain watching as Reaper collects the fallen tributes into a neat line and draps the Panam flag over him. 
“Are you going to punish me now?” reaper yells to the cameras. 
He begins to scream again but his words are cut off by a broadcast from Dr Gaul. 
“Capitol Citizens, I’m afraid I must interrupt our games to announce a tragic loss. Fleix Ravienstill, son of our beloved president, has this morning succumbed to his injuries sustained in the rebel bombing.Out there, in the districts, they will be celebrating this young boys death. I will not allow my games to give our enemies such a victory. I swear to you here and now, before the sun goes down tonight, a rainbow of destruction will engulf our arena. Even if it means there’s to be no victor in these games”. 
The broadcast ends, and the tributes go back on screen. 
“What?” you spit, “What does she mean no victor? That's not fair. She can't do that”. 
You rise from your outrage, ranting to Coriolanus. Your anxiety has been taken over by your anger. Coriolanus agreed it was not fair. All his hard work gone down the drain because of the death of Felix,  who was never going to amount to anything anyway. 
A rainbow of destruction. The snakes. There was no way he could protect lucy-Gray from them. 
He would need something with her scent. Could he get the string of her guitar that she played in the interviews? He didn’t even know where it was. By the time he found it, the Games were sure to be over. 
Maybe, he could go to the zoo. Toss as many things as he could into the snake pit and hope one of them was hers? It might mean the survival of everyone but her too. 
The zoo, he remembers. He digs into his breast pocket to pull out the handkerchief he used to wipe her tears away. If the sweat of his palm can keep him safe against the snakes, then surely her fresh tears dried on the handkerchief could. 
He had to get it to the lab before it was too late.
He grabs your forearms and turns you away from the screen to him so he had your full attention. 
“Stay here, okay. I’ll be right back”. He commands. 
“Where are you going?”, you ask astounded that he could be leaving after such news. 
“Just stay here. Don’t move”, he reiterated. 
You nod sensing his urgency and he dashes out of the auditorium into the empty hallway. 
He knew he couldn’t walk into Dr Guals lab without a reason, and begging for Lucy-Grays life wasn’t a good one. 
As he jogs down the steps, he claws at the stitches in his back, reopening the wound. 
He groans from the pain but ensures all eight stitches have torn open. 
His body is weak as he sprints to Dr gauls lab. It barely gets him through the front door, where he demands to see Dr gaul. 
As if she was expecting him, the Peacekeeper lets him directly through. 
“Come to beg for her life?” Dr gaul asks uninterested. 
“No” Coriolanus puffs, “No, my stitches. They came loose. I didn’t want the doctors asking questions”.
She looks at him suspiciously but relents, going to her work table. 
“Come, pull down your shirt”, she directs. 
He walks past a row of black birds locked in cages. Her newest toys. 
“The news must have shocked you Mr Snow. With no tributes, no victor, with no victor, no girl”. 
Coriolanus faces the birds as Dr Gaul stitches the needle into his shoulder. He eyes the large snake tank in the corner and the people who ready it for transport. 
“Y/n’s actually at the auditorium. She came to support me. She’s the one who noticed the stitches”, Coriolanus lies. 
“Support you and not her boyfriend in hospital? Things are looking promising”, she says. 
"Looking promising, looking promising” her voice echoes across the room. Seemingly from the mouth of the birds. 
She sighs and stops stitching to click a receiver. 
“Jabberjays”, she explained, “We sent them out during the war to pick up rebel conversations. A failed experiment. They only pick up useless phrases unless manually operated. I am collecting them to see what better purpose they serve”. 
Coriolanus remains quiet trying to figure out how he could reach the cage before it was too late. 
The needle knots in his back, a feeling Coriolanus had come to know to mean that the stitching was done. 
“I’ll see you and your girl back in the auditorium for the finale, Mr Snow”, Dr Gaul dismisses, “you should be proud of yourself. Your songbird put on a wonderful show, and you didn’t need money to steal the girl after all”. 
Coriolanus quickly buttons up his shirt, watching as the cage was wheeled out. 
“Thank you, Dr Gaul”, he says. 
He races to catch up to the assistants wheeling the cage, pretending to be following them out. 
They don’t see him as a threat so pay him no mind. He falls back as they take a hallway just off the exit, and watches as they leave the cage out for an airlift. 
He stays hidden behind a pole until it was time. Leaving his jacket to keep the door wedged open. With their back turned, he dashes out to cage. The snakes are upset when he slams into the large cage, beginning to move and fight with each other. 
He finds an air hole large enough and stuffs the handkerchief in. it moves along the bodies of the snakes until Coriolanus could no longer see the white in between the rainbow. 
When the harness is lowered, Coriolanus makes a run back to the door, taking his jacket and making his own exit from the Citadel. 
He pays for the taxi this time. Sure that his body couldn’t take anymore strain. 
It cost him his fathers watch, but he arrived back in the auditorium before the entrance of the snakes. 
“What happened?” he quizzes you, taking a hold of your arm, “Lucy-gray is she okay?”. 
You point to the screen where Coral and Treech poke and prod a vent. 
“She’s in there”, you address with horror in your voice. 
Treech points up and Coral takes his palace directly under the vent. 
Blocking the camera, Treech begins to sway of balance and nose begins leek small amounts of blood. 
“Wait, what's wrong with Treech?” his mentor asks. 
Corilanious was worried about his own tribute, who was three lucky strikes away from being impaled. 
Coral hits the metal too many times and the vent collapses on top of her. 
Coriolanus' hand latches out to yours, which you accept with the same nervous tension in your fingers. 
“Run, run” Coriolanus begs. 
She runs back into the arena. Not the safest place with reaper still sitting by the dead tributes. 
Coral chases after her, too slow to catch up. 
The whole arena stops when the chopper lowers in the cage. 
“Please work”, Coriolanus whispers. 
“What is that?” you ask. 
“Wouldn’t it be fun if it was candy?” Lucy Flickerman answers you. 
Coriolanus feels your hand tense in his, then open in surprise when the glass cage cracks and the snakes fly out. 
“Not candy!” Lucky Flickerman announces as three tributes are overtaken in rainbow. 
The Snakes chase the last two tribute who head to the stands for higher ground. 
“Lucy-Gray, please” Coral begs. The snakes lash at her heels as she tries to drag herself up the stands, “Please it couldn’t have all be for nothing”.
It was. More snakes latch on and Coral dies with two loud screams. 
“Now all colors lead to Gray” Lucy Flickerman narrates. 
The snakes slither up and around Lucy-Gray but none bite her. 
Coriolanus lets out an unbelievable scoff. 
‘She’s..She’s won” he says watching as the snakes continue to follow Lucy-Gray. He had won. The 10th annual victor. She was last standing, even Dean Highbottom couldn’t contest his win.
“It’a over. She won”, he says in a louder voice. Why was no one doing anything to stop the snakes, “Let her out!”
“Afraid that’s not your call to make, mr Snow”, Lucky insists. 
He turns to the audience. Dr Gaul had come to see the final show. She sat high up in the breeches and must of come in when Coriolanus was distracted. 
He drops your hand so he could turn and face her. She stared back with the same hateful and curious gaze. She knew what he had done. 
But if she squealed on him, he would return the favor. 
Your hands fly up to your face once more when Lucy-gray begins to sing. Tears pour from your eyes watching the young girl sing her last song. 
Looking to get away from the camera that played on your pain, you pushed your way to the back.  
“Dr gaul. She’s won”, Coriolanus yells, “It’s over let her out”. 
“Why aren’t they attacking her?” Festus asks. 
Dr Gual raises her eyebrows at him in a mocking fashion. 
“It must be the signing. It’s calming them”, he deceives. 
“She can’t sing forever”, Festus comments bitterly. 
She just needs to sing long enough for Coriolanus to figure out a way to get her out. 
“Dr Gaul, please”, Coriolanus tries, “Get her out”. 
He could see the audience engrossed in the scene. He just needed to figure out how to turn it against Dr Gaul. 
“Get her out!”, you yell across the room, following Coriolanus stare to Dr gaul. 
Her eyes flick to you and you scream at her once more to release Lucy-gray. 
Others join, chanting in protest. 
“Who will watch the games if there is no victor?” he threatens. 
Dr Gaul raises her hand to silence the audience, before turning to her assistant. 
“Get her out”, she says loud enough for everyone to hear. 
A cheer erupts the auditorium and Dr gaul wades herself through it to the silence of the hallway. 
“She’s won! Lucy-Gray! Coriolanus Snow is the winner of the tenth annual Hunger games!” Lucky announces. 
People rush from the stands to swarm him. Offering him congratulations and applause. 
It all felt real now. He had done it. The plinth prize, you, were all his now. 
He pushes to the crowd to get to where you stood in front of the bleaches. 
You were smiling and clapping. He wasn’t sure if it was entirely for him, or if you were just glad Lucy-gray would live. 
You looked beautiful and for once Sejanus was nowhere by your side. In this moment, you were entirely his. 
You treated you as such, taking your face between his hands and stilling you for a kiss. 
His lips smashed against you, his teeth nipped at the skin of your bottom lip asking you to part them for him. 
You don’t pull away at first, but his lips are on you for less than ten seconds before you are shoving against his sore shoulder. 
He is forced to drop his hand upon the impact. His shoulder ached from pain of being moved, and on reflux he lowered his arm to ease it. 
Coriolanus could tell by the look on your face, you did not enjoy the kiss. Did he come on too strong? Did he accidently hit your bruise when he kissed you?
He opened his mouth to apologize for the above, but you took off before he could catch you. 
It was impossible to follow you through the crowd of people. People would not part to let him through. 
Some jeered at him for being pushed away but most still rode his victory wave. 
Had he made a mistake? Where you not ready to leave Sejanus for him yet?
You had no right to reject him. He had won. Saved your life. Risked his own. 
Coriolanus took a seat while the crowd surrounded him, and then disappeared. He stayed there until he was summoned by a peacekeeper much later. 
He figured he was to see his victor before they sent her back home. The Peacekeeper led him to a chamber, but Lucy-Gray was nowhere to be seen. 
“Lucy-Gray?” he called, “Lucy-Gray?”. 
He sees a table in the middle of the room with his fathers handkerchief and his mother compact. 
“To think, Mr Snow, you almost had it all” Dean Highbottom's voice taunts him. 
“Where’s Lucy-Gray?”Coriolanus demanded. Had they hurt her for Coriolanus’s mistake?
“I would be more worried about yourself” Highbottom answered, stalking towards him. 
“First y/n rejects you and now the prize money slips through your fingers”, Highbottom torments, “it’s fitting that both your parents could be here for your big moment”. 
He gestures to the items on the table in front of Coriolanus. 
“That compact, how many times did I see your mother use it? Come now, we both know that child from eleven didn’t die of disease. And that old handkerchief, we found it in the snake tank, condemning you with your fathers own initials”. 
Highbottom rounds Coriolanus completely before standing in front of Coriolanus across the table. 
“President Ravenstill has left your form of punishment up to me, and I’ve decided banishment to the districts where you’ll serve your Capitol in exile for the next twenty years as an anonymous, peacekeeping grunt”. 
Dean Highbottom grins at Coriolanus who felt too frozen to do anything. 
“You’ll never get your hands on y/n. She’s too good for you Mr Snow. By the time you get back I imagine her and Sejanus will be married with three or four children”. 
It was true. Coriolanus wouldn’t be able to block the ongoing turn of events that was sure to happen with Sejanus. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t how things were supposed to go. He had worked so hard to have you, only to be taken away as soon as he got on equal footing with Sejanus. 
“You hear that boy? That’s the sound of snow failing”, Highbottom proclaims. 
He’ll be left with nothing more than a memory of you, while you will forget completely of the man who loved you so. 
114 notes · View notes
letstrip13 · 2 days ago
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🔪 - mr and mrs ghostface
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summary: a picture of LA's newest couple goes viral.. but no one knows who they are. who could they be?
warnings: just fluff! was written in a rush
word count: 865
author's note: sorry about this being posted almost a month after halloween, i hope it was worth the wait :) even though it's rushed and i hate the layout of it
author's note 2: read the last author's note at the end of the fic pleaseeee and go to the link on it too tysm!!
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october 31st was the day of the most highly anticipated influencer party of the entire year. it was very exclusive, only certain people could even get on the list. everyone knew about it and wanted to attend.
paparazzi were staged outside, awaiting the guests with bright camera flashes, capturing photos of them in their costumes. they continued to lurk outside throughout the party, desperate to catch any sign of anything worth releasing to the public.
they didn't find much, but they did see a mysterious couple leave the party for a few minutes before going back in. they released a photo of the two together and it immediately went viral.
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“NEW IT COUPLE caught hanging around outside LA's most exclusive influencer party. Who could Mr. and Mrs. Ghostface be?”
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millions of likes and around twelve hours later, you wake up from a peaceful sleep in your boyfriend's arms. you had a good dream but you can't seem to remember it right now. you look up to check on matt and he's still fast asleep, messy brown hair scattered across his forehead, and lips slightly parted as soft snores escape them.
you roll over to check your phone which is charging on his nightstand. when doing so, you can see the matching ghostface masks on the floor by his closet. as soon as you look at your phone, you're overwhelmed by the amount of messages and missed calls from yours and matt’s friends.
you scroll through what seems like hundreds of them, trying to make sense of it all. you even peek over at matt's phone, seeing that it's the pretty much the same. finally, you see a message telling you to check LAnews on instagram.
you frantically open the app and type it into your search bar. your jaw drops when you check their most recent post. that “mystery couple” they posted about is you and matt. you shake his arm and he awakens with a startled grunt. “what is it?” he mumbles.
“look!” you put the screen in front of his face and he rubs his eyes trying to figure out exactly what he's looking at. “is that us..?” he asks. “yes!” he sits up, leaning back against the headboard as he stretches. “what are you freaking out about? they didn't say it was us.”
you sigh softly. “yeah, but,” you pause, “what if they find out?” he stays silent and puts his arm around you. “maybe it's about time they find out, baby. it's been almost a year.” your head leans onto his shoulder. “you're right.. but i don't want people to find out from them. it should come from us.”
“okay,” he murmurs as he stretches again, “i'm starving though, let's have breakfast first.” you nod in agreement. “how do pancakes sound?” he gets out of bed excitedly as if he wasn't woken up against his will two minutes ago.
you make your way into the kitchen, pulling the pancake mix out of the cupboard while matt gets a mixing bowl and a frying pan. you make the pancakes together, being careful to stay quiet so as not to wake up chris or nick.
you plate the pancakes, dividing them between you two and putting any toppings you want on them before sitting down and eating. you eat side by side in comfortable silence for a little while before he speaks up between bites, “so how do you think we should announce it?” he shovels another bite of pancake into his mouth as he awaits your response.
“i don't know.. maybe an instagram post? just some cute pictures of us and one from last night.” “yeah, i like that.” you fall silent which doesn't go unnoticed by him. “what are you thinking about?” “i'm just a little worried about what people are gonna say, you know.”
“don't worry about them. you love me right?” you nod at him. “and i love you. so that's it. that's all that matters and nothing will change that.” you realize that he's right. you love him too much to let anyone behind a screen interfere with that. “you're right,” you tell him, pausing to kiss him on the lips, “i love you.”
after finishing your breakfast and cleaning up the dishes, you sit down again and decide on the perfect pictures to use. it takes longer than you thought but you couldn't be happier with the way it turned out.
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you hit share on the joint post before you both turn your phones off, awaiting the chaos of the media that will come about in the next few hours, or even days. it feels so nice and freeing to finally have everything out in the open, to have a real relationship and not have to hide anything.
you both catch yourselves glancing at your phones. “we should do something to distract ourselves,” you tell matt, “we can't just wait around like this.” a smirk crosses his lips and he picks you up unexpectedly. “i think i know what we could do,” he says as he runs off in the direction of his bedroom, leaving you giggling over his shoulder.
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author's note 3: if you wanna see style posts and updates of madi, please give my friend pinkfilipowicz a follow! she wants to hit 100 followers by the end of the year and she's at around 30 rn i think. and follow her on tiktok too if you like madi edits!! <3
btw if that's not convincing enough, she found a shirt from a screenshot of madi's tiktok where you can't see it that well AND from a pic where you can barely see the shirt!! still shocked she found that and fast too so yk she's good at this. she's so seriously underrated i love her sm
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orangez3st · 2 days ago
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What actually happened to Rex's batchmates?
Here's my take on this, because atm I'm writing a fanfic about Cadet!Rex as well so I'm appealing for his fanon cadet fate.
I respect both "Rex's batchmates are all decommissioned because the whole batch is defective but Cody and the others saved him so now he's got PTSD from child ab**e" and "Rex got bullied because of his mutated blond hair" fanons (uh hey where did this begin? Had those been widely accepted headcanon that it became fanon eventually? I'm revisiting this fandom and am just stepping my foot into the fanon so maybe safe to say I'm kinda-but-not-really new) but... Hear me out.
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(Future me, approx 2 hours after starting this post: okay this post turns out to be so long you might wanna sit down)
Disclaimer again; I don't hate those fanons but it's kinda bothersome to me (so cruel omg idek if he'd been really strong for, what, just 10 years haunted by child ab**e trauma, based on majority fic depiction? and said trauma lasted into the clone wars even? uh, really? more in 10) that I've pieced the puzzle myself on how one may approach this matter from another angle.
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Facts i (we) know about clones
As far as we know, they have batchmates and squadmates.
Not only are they genetically engineered with accelerated physical stamina, they are also capable of withholding more stress than the average natborn. This is due to the fact that war soldiers generally suffer PTSD and the Kaminoans wanted to create Tupperware clone army. Thus, to a certain extent, genetically, clones prove to be more emotionally stable – mind you, that doesn't mean they're not immune to PTSD and other related traumas. There were clones who defected from the army just because they couldn't handle it anymore. As cruel as this might sound, yeah; there's something wrong with their programming.
There are 3 known mass-produced clone types: CT (Clone Trooper), CC (Clone Commando), and RC (Republic Commando). Each type is made? cloned? bred? separately. Obviously.
Clones are engineered to be obedient and submissive to order and structure. CT has the most extreme levels of this alteration, meanwhile CC has less, due to their supposed strategic position in command they have to adjust to every possible scenario thrown at them, eventually concocting tactically effective battle plans.
Mutations and defective traits are different. Mutations are uniquely positive and genetically induced or by experiment, while defective traits pop up due to poor maintenance or accidents. Kaminoan scientists are willing enough to tolerate mutations as long as it causes no further problems (like Blue Eyes), while they deem the ones with defective traits totally unfit for combat (like 99).
So, to stress and/or narrow them down:
Clones, regardless of type, are capable of handling more stress and adapting to situations quickly.
#GodlikeKaminoanEngineering (or so they say): Nothing wrong with programming = wouldn't suffer trauma and/or related disorders. (Idk if this hypothetically would apply irl. If there's any legit research about this particularly, point me to the journal article lol I'd love to check it out tho I'm not a huge bio fan. Intriguing all the same.)
Nothing wrong with programming = wouldn't defect. Clone Force 99 is a special case, though. (This point is completely unrelated to Rex but I think still worth mentioning)
CT's aren't that much capable of putting all hands on deck in strategy talks (that's what the CC's are for). All they know is to wait for orders from command and follow them thoroughly and make sure the job's done. However, they may or may not develop those traits themselves and finally take initiative basically becoming a kriffin badass CC intern, like Rex.
Genetic mutations, as we know or may assume, consist of change in physical appearance. This could mean lighter skin tone, not-Jango-Fett eye color, or not-so-Jango-Fett hair color. This is due to recessive genes. Jango's sister Arla has natural blond hair, you guys.
Therefore, from my perspective, Rex is in possession of genetic mutations and definitely not defective traits.
Combined with his standard CT emotional intelligence, excellent combat skill, his (pre-Skywalker) undying love for order and structure, and if not little acts of valor that undeniably has to show during his cadet years (I mean it would carry on into his ARC training and first months of the Clone Wars that he's given jaig eyes), I see no reason why he would be bullied and shunned by the rest of his batch.
If any, they regard him with so much respect because he shines – gloriously – throughout his training and essentially be the local pride. He's their brother, after all! Their vod! That's how he would've caught Cody and the other's attention too.
☝🏼🤓 I do accept the fanon that he's a batch behind them. I can't think of a reason. Might as well be freeform. And it's cute.
So.
That's the baseline, for clones.
Now we move on to the man himself.
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(on gif above) That is so Cody-coded, Rex.
(1) Decommissioned batchmates
Tbh not sure what being decommissioned means, but given the generally grim and threatening implication that it strikes enough terror and neck-breaking amount of trauma to Rex of this fanon, it's gotta mean being terminated(?). Correct me if I'm wrong, but for now I'm rolling with that.
Rex exhibits excellent capabilities on field during his training that it easily captures his trainer's attention. A transfer to the CC command training sounds possible, I think, since y'know, Ponds is a CT as well and I'd like to think he's above Rex that the rank Commander is permissible for him (yes yes Rex is given the Commander promotion but he turned it down because he favors fighting up in the front with his men I am a firm believer of this as well). So he just gets separated from his batchmates and situated himself in the new brotherhood.
Also here's my baseless debunking because I just don't know any of those biology-related stuff.
I just don't think every single of his batchmates are so defective that the Kaminoans pulled the genoc**e card. It's just... Not possible. Math and probability, anyone? Hello?
Assuming the only reason for being decommissioned is for possessing defective traits so bad that it's worse than 99, the Kaminoans have no excuse to pull the genoc**e card just because a clone gets blond hair instead of Jango's black hair. As much as I support them being the most ultimate of assholes, I don't think they'd waste resources just like that.
So, in conclusion of this one; I think not. Rex's batchmates are very much alive and well and kicking droid ass during campaigns :)
(2) Traumatized Rex
Fanon: Rex with child ab**e trauma and, in conjunction, PTSD because he witnessed his batchmates get decommissioned.
I shall assume he carries this trauma even to the Clone Wars period.
Oh hang on, okay, he's defective because he's traumatized? Or is it the other way around; he gets traumatized that it somehow affects his already-defected emotional intelligence? What about his coping mechanism, is it defected as well? If the decommissioning of his brothers affects him so much he couldn't cope and carries with him the trauma, I don't think he'd be fit to go further since the start, or even earn those jaig eyes.
One thing about Rex is that he's brave. Since we're working with existing materials to create this headcanon, and that the jaig eyes itself is important, the jaig eyes still gotta be there. He earns it because he commits acts of valor in the battlefield – because he is a man of honor. Rex is very much aware of his emotional state, aware of the proper time and place; when to break down and when to put on a strong façade, because he's that selfless. He puts his men first. He cares about his men. He regards every single troop as his brother. First in, last out. An inspirational figure with strong will, always trying his best being the prime example and morale to his men.
Aside from the genetic stress inhibitor traits, Rex is a strong man, physically and mentally. In line with my previous point about how implausible and improbable it is that every single of his batchmates gets decommissioned, with this fanon scenario, I don't think Rex would be some guy who easily succumbs to trauma. He'd push on through and survive, and lo and behold. Canon-wise, he does. Still does.
(3) Why is he bullied 😭
My poor little meow meow of a heart can't take it. I don't know what this version of Rex is supposed to be bullied for? But if it's because of his blond hair IT'S NOT DEFECTIVE TRAIT it's genetic mutation. Even the majority of the clones sport black hair and brown eyes Jango style and only some of them sport brown hair or lighter, and even fewer of blond hair. And the Kaminoans allow it, as seen in 302.
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Look at him he's precious. Some may think he's overrated, but he's just being him. No wonder he's majority's favorite. So with all that said, I rest my case.
Sorry that took so long and much of your time, but for my part, I'm glad I got those out of me. I might write my Rex and the other's headcanon in the future. Mentioned I'm writing a Cadet!Rex fic, so there's the link, if you're interested.
And don't get me started with the natural vs dyed blond thing. I'm a firm believer that Rex is a natural blond, and I've written the reason somewhere above.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. You may use this headcanon in your adaptations if you'd like. Cheers!
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itsrlymine · 3 days ago
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hi again it's 🧷!
the last 24 hours have been a whirlwind. i laughed. i cried. i peed myself. but im a person who likes a little journey. i've been affirming my ass off bc that's what works for me and i'm already feeling so much more control and better about myself. so thank u for the reality check.
also i have some successes....
yesterday, i thought i had a uti bc a girl keeps drinking apple cider cocktails i fear. it's just too good and it’s the holidays. 😫😭 but i kept telling myself i don't have one bc no way am i dealing with antibiotics (and no me time) for 2 weeks. and when i went to urgent care bc i still was a bit anxious in the 3D yk how it is. but guess WHAT. I WAS NEGATIVE 🤩. so that was cool. and they gave me stickers even though im like 20 which was very sweet LOL.
also today, i manifested that the type of pasta i needed for thanksgiving wasn't gone. bc if ur on tiktok and you've seen tini's mac and cheese recipe. the stores r sold OUT of cellentani shaped pasta... and i live in a big city.... so i made my sister go out and get 2 boxes on her way home from her rural ass college and she texts me like "hey you'll never believe this there were 2 boxes left all the way at the back of the shelf where no one would see them" and i was like😮‼️
but omg i'm like. wow!!! yay!!! all it took was a decision!!! i'm still learning to trust myself but i'm never turning back again. i'm embracing my title as queen god boss bitch of reality, and that even when i have off days it doesn’t mean bad things bc shit always works in my favor no matter what!!
All it takes is a decision!!!!! Yes babe like wtf lke this is so easy for you bc it is you!!! I love these successes of yours babe. You better keep drinking them apple cider cocktails. Lemme get one rq actually.
Health, appearance, food, getting people to do what you want.... All these "types" of manifestations are easy bc they are all the same!! There is only one way to get what you want and that is by accepting you have it. period.
This is amazing and I'm so proud of you babe!!!
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hoonieyun · 10 hours ago
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give up heaven
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give up heaven
pairing: park sunghoon x reader "y/n"
genre: angst, drama, angel!sunghoon, human!reader
warnings: religious themes, suggestive, manipulation, major character death, profanity, coercion, corruption? overall 18+
summary: meeting sunghoon changed your beliefs in life. the love he showered you with and the light you felt with him was unlike anything you had ever felt before. he promised you that he would give up heaven for you so it was only right that you do the same.
notes: this was so ksfhsdf sorry in advance but i had to!!!!!
word count: 2637
ʚ ɞ
sunday was made for church. your pleated skirt, soft turtleneck, and black shiny mary jane shoes with a two inch heel, somewhat of a uniform that you’d wear on sundays when you went to church. 
your hair was done up in a sleek ponytail, two strands in the front left loose to frame your face, and the smell of warm coconut vanilla hugging your skin from your perfume. that was how you usually presented yourself on sundays when you go to church because…
sunday was made for church. 
it was, however, also made for sunghoon. sunday’s would be the day you’d sneak off with him. your parents having become too busy with church duties that they didn’t even bother to make sure that you made it home after church. after church, every sunday, you made your way home through your usual route, but for the last 2 months, instead of heading straight home from church you would make the right on the street instead of the left that led straight to your home. 
the path on the right led to sunghoon, who was always sitting in his vintage black chevy el camino, 1970. you had memorised it because he’d never let you forget the first time you got into his car and spilled a red cherry slushy on his seats. although he says that he forgives you, you made sure to make it up to him. 
so that’s where you were now, making the right on the street instead of the left, and soon enough sunghoon’s car came into your vision. it was parked next to a few garbage cans and the closer you got, the more sunghoon became visible. taking the cigarette out of his mouth and flicking it out onto the street while a smile breaks out onto his lips. a smile that made you smile. 
“hi, my pretty girl.” sunghoon says as you bend over, leaning into his car window. “hi hoonie!” you say, the petname falling from his lips causes a shade of red to to creep onto your cheeks. you swing his door open and take the seat and before you could even settle into the passenger seat and put your seatbelt on, sunghoon is leaning over and giving you a kiss. 
“sunghoon, stop that tickles!” you say and he can’t help but laugh at your cute reaction. 
he pulls himself off of you, although he doesn’t want to, and slightly ruffles the ponytail on your head. “you do your hair just how i like it?” he asks and you nod, your cheeks growing an even brighter red. 
“and the turtleneck? i thought you liked it when i-” sunghoon begins to say but you cut him off. “hoon, you know i had to cover it up. it hasn’t gone away yet.” you say, shyly. pulling up the turtleneck even more. sunghoon loved leaving little marks on you whether it be various shapes and sizes of hickeys or small love bites on your thighs. seeing his mark on you made him like you even more. 
“that’s alright, sweetheart.” sunghoon says before pressing a quick kiss onto your blushing cheek. “where we headed today?” you ask and he tells you its a surprise and that he’s been planning it for awhile. you start to feel butterflies in your stomach, you always imagined that sunghoon is the romantic type but he hasn’t shown that side of himself yet. 
usually the two of you would just spend hours in his car, sitting with one another and limbs entangled until nightfall. eventually you’d tell him that you needed to go home and after some failed convincing, he reluctantly takes you home; dropping you off on the corner before your home so your parents don’t see who you’re with. whenever they’d ask why you were home so late you’d just tell them that you were busy at the animal shelter or lost track of time at the botanical garden. 
after some driving and a quick stop at a minimart to get some food and your favorite cherry slushy, you and sunghoon arrive at your destination. a small outlook on a secluded side of a cliff, beautiful flowers and lush trees adorn the ground as sunghoon guides you to the spot, your hand in his. 
the sun is just setting when the two of you arrive and when you get there, you see a white plush picnic blanket sitting just a few feet from the edge of the cliff. candles and a small picnic basket sitting atop the blanket. “hoon? you did this for me?” you ask, your eyes wide and bright at his romantic gesture. 
“of course, sweetheart. do you like it?” he asks and you hug him in response. he returns a hug while also placing a kiss onto your head. “come on, let’s take a seat.” sunghoon once again pulls you by your hand to guide you as you take a seat on the blanket, taking in the view but sunghoon was too busy staring at you. something more beautiful that the sunset that was showering the two of you in a golden light. 
“what’s all of this for?” you ask, averting your gaze towards him. 
sunghoon wasn’t sure how to tell you this but he needed to do it. 
sunghoon’s eyes that were once soft and had a bright glint to them had turned dark, like he was hiding something. “everything ok… hoon?” you ask, unsure of why his behabior suddenly changed. “you know, y/n..” he begins. 
“you know that i love you right?” he confesses. although you and sunghoon had spent every sunday together for the last few months, neither of you have ever professed your love for one another. 
until now.
“you do?” you ask and he nods. softly brushing away hair from your face and gently cupping your cheek with his hand. “i wish that we could spend longer with each other but i’m afraid that we don’t have a lot of time left together…” sunghoon says and his words confuse you.
was he leaving? he couldn’t leave you… especially after just telling you that he loved you… right? “what do you mean? is everything okay?” you clarify and sunghoon sighs, looking down before answering your question. “what i’m about to tell you… is really hard; but promise you’ll believe me?” he asks and you nod in response. “words, pretty. use your words.” he says and although quiet and soft, a small yes leaves your lips. 
“all my life i felt as if i was running from someone. this person that had this control over and if i didn’t do everything that he wanted… then i would be damned to hell…
at some point… i disobeyed him and now i’m forced to live this life where i feel like i’m always on the run-” you cut him off…
“from who? sunghoon, what’s happening?” you ask. 
“let me finish. okay, sweetheart?” he says and you once again nod in response. 
“when i disobeyed him, he took everything from me. it felt like i was a bird with no wings and i had just fallen from the highest of places and plummeted to earth. it wasn’t fair…
i just wanted to live my life the way i wanted to but he didn’t allow me and in return… he punished me. i was so lost…
until i met you. yn… you brought so much light in my life and i’m so happy everytime i’m with you. i wish i could spend the rest of my life with you because i just love you so much.” sunghoon says, his sentence trailing off.
“i love you too! i want to spend the rest of my life with you too sunghoon!” you confess and sunghoon has to bite back a smile. “i know, my love; but you have so much going for you.” sunghoon says. “you’re so beautiful and smart and have the world to explore. i don’t want you to waste your life spending it with me…” sunghoon says and his words hurt you. how could he say that being with him is a waste?
you looked forward to sunday every week because you get to be with him. sundays became less about going to church and basquing in your faith and more about spending time with the man that made you feel loved. being with sunghoon felt like nothing you had ever felt before and you weren’t ready to let him leave or give up what the two of you have. 
“you’re not a waste of time!” you begin, now you were cupping his face with your hands. 
“sunday is my favorite day of the week because i get to be with you. i don’t know where i’d be right now if not… you. you make me feel so loved and i’ve never felt happier than when we’re together. 
sunghoon… please don’t leave me. i don’t know what to do without you. please…” you say, tears pooling at your lashes and sunghoon instantly wipes them away. 
“do you mean it, my love?” he asks and you answer before he could even finish his question. 
“yes! more than anything. i love you sunghoon…” you say. 
“you know, i’ve gone through so much in my life and you’re the one thing that makes me want to keep going. 
i’d give up heaven if i had to…” sunghoon says. 
his sentence causes your breath to hitch. does he mean that? does his love for you go past his belief and faith in god himself? that he loved you so much he was willing to relinquish the holy kingdom if it meant that he could be with you. 
“i��� i would too.” you say, reluctantly but as the words leave your mouth the more you believe it. 
“would you really..? give up heaven… for me?” sunghoon asks, his eyes having become darker the longer the night went on. like it was reflecting the darkness of the night sky, the moonlight failing to even create any reflection of light in his eyes. 
“yes…” you say. 
“say it… say it then.” sunghoon says, his hand flying to your cheek. his grip was a bit tight. 
“i’d give up heaven for you, sunghoon.” you say and a smile spreads across sunghoon’s lips, but not the smile you’re used to. this smile was different. it was… wicked; like he was waiting for you to say that this whole time.
sunghoon himself said that he would give up heaven if he had to just so he could be with you, so it was only right that you do the same. 
as you’re looking into sunghoon’s eyes, his grip on your face gets tighter and you don’t realize that his fingers have made it’s way to your neck. the turtleneck not aiding in your breathing as sunghoon’s grip around your throat tightens.
“hoon… i- i can’t breathe.” you tell him as you try to pull his hands off of you. sunghoon starts to push you into the ground, his body above yours as he continues to hold a tight grip over your neck. tears falling from your eyes as you look at the man you love, his eyes filled with something sinsiter, a look in his eyes you’d never seen before. 
“i didn’t think it’d be so easy to get you to confess like that…
you know, that story i told you and everything i have told you, wasn’t a lie. i do love you but i have to do this. i’m an angel or a fallen angel, you could say. the big guy upstairs didn’t necessarily like my behavior because i didn’t think being an angel meant doing only good. 
i was SICK of being good because being evil… was way better than anything else. 
but he didn’t like that so he damned me to live on earth, taking my wings away and forcing me to live as a human… but i found a way to make it back to heaven.
if i sacrifice enough innocent lives to a special friend, he’d grant me a special wish to return to the pearly gates and finish what i couldn’t do before.” sunghoon confesses. 
his words were true. he did love you but he loved being evil way more than he loved you… and more than he loved any of the other innocent women he sacrificed in order to make it back to heaven and spread the darkness he was shunned for. 
ever since he was a young angel, sunghoon knew he was different, he didn’t agree with what the elders taught him and he was constantly getting in trouble for defying authority. it wasn’t until his 18th birthday when he was ostracized by god himself and sent plummeting to earth as punishment. 
on sunghoon’s 18th birthday, he tried to steal the halo of an elder angel because he believed that he could do better with it than some old man. word spread quickly and his evil regime made it’s way to father and before he could even plea for forgiveness; he was falling thousands of feet from the sky onto the dirt of earth. tossed away like he was merely trash. 
you were the last innocent person he needed to be able to get his wish from a certain someone in the depths of hell. the man in red instructed him to gather 1000 innoncent souls for him and in return, he’d grant him his wish of being able to return to heaven. so sunghoon did just that. 
for the last 300 years, sunghoon has been preying on innocent women, corrupting their minds with his evil ways and getting them to give up heaven for him. he felt fulfilled when they took their last breath and the liveliness behind their eyes dissipated. his love dissappearing at the same instance. 
you weren’t sure how you didn’t see the signs. sunghoon always made you feel like you were dancing with the devil but in more ways than not, he made you feel loved. something that the priests at church often preached about. how the devil will find ways to seduce you and make you feel good so that it was easier to believe in their wickedness and succumb to their evil ways. 
but you loved him and he loved you. so how could you not feel like you were in heaven whenever you were with him. 
as you took your last breath, sunghoon’s long and slender fingers left your neck. he had to put a lot more strength in his grip because of your turtleneck but in some ways it aided him in cutting off your airways. 
he slightly pulls back the turtleneck and the fabric reveals redness. his previous lovemarks were now covered by the redness of his handprints wrapping around your delicate neck. sunghoon sighs as he stands up, wiping his pants of dirt, and looks into the night. the moon was so beautiful and the stars seemed to shine so much brighter now. 
taking it as a sign that he did everything he needed to and that soon, he would be able to go back to heaven and with every angel in the white clouds. he’ll make sure that they all give up heaven the way he was forced to. 
copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved
all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3
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nutria--oscura · 1 year ago
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The Oak family make me so mentally ill actually
Like, for starters, the generational trauma that cannot and will not be shaken off:
The very obvious first point is The Doodler. 'The Curse of The Doodler' passed down from generation to generation. Even after Lark and Sparrow release it, the curse still haunts them as the apocalypse they have to bear the blame for. Now Dood is walking amongst them, as a teen protected by the teens, and all Lark and Sparrow can do is look him in the eye (not even really). Lark wants to end this generational trauma by killing Dood but Normal wants to do it but helping it (parallel to what we see happen in s2 ep23 when they sit on the Throne).
The next obvious ones are the veganism (has been an Oaks thing since Hildy's grandmother, if not great-grandmother).
and the 'shoes on' household. Something Henry started due to always being barefoot in Oakvale cause of Barry's Rules. Something that is still instilled with Normal and Hero.
All of the Oaks have a dislike towards their kids/parents. Hildy hated Barry cause he abused her for so long and in the final years of her life he abandoned her in Oakvale and left her to die. Barry and Henry fought constantly, Barry creating more Oakvalians cause Henry would never have been good enough for him. Henry and Lark straight up just do not get along, especially after Henry took the Gauntlets of Ogre Power (which in Lark's eyes caused Walter to get injured and almost caused Sparrow to die), ESPECIALLY after Henry pulled to rogue card. Henry and Sparrow don't talk anymore which is something I will get into later on. Lark and Sparrow weren't even Henry's favourite kids, it was his pet bird Beanie. Honestly, I'm kind of scared to see what Henry and Birdie's relationship is like. Then we have Sparrow and Normal. Sparrow is open about being not being proud of Normal and wishing he was more 'normal'. Finally we have Sparrow and Hero. Sparrow probably isn't that proud or happy with Hero either since she just noped out of being the chosen one. (check out this post)
Another kinda obvious one, the (very strong) family resemblance. They all look so alike, so similar, of course they're going to be the least likely to change and break tradition. (post)
SPARROW AND HENRY NO LONGER TALKING - so many implications. Like, is it because of the shit Lark and Sparrow pulled with Hero? Cause he married a centrist (/j)? Was it because Sparrow (potentially) used the memory syringes on Rebecca to keep their marriage in tact(more in a bit)? Some other reason which we will later find out? Is it why Sparrow can no longer turn into a Love Wolf? Or the final straw as to why he can't?
SPARROW, REBECCA AND THE SYRINGES - So. In s2 ep18 when Normal asks Sparrow if Rebecca knew about all the Doodler stuff, Sparrow says "Your mom doesn't know… about what's going on." ... "that's kind of how we… stayed married." Later, we get to know, from Hero, that Rebecca did in fact know what was happening - that she was involved in what happened to Hero when she was younger, "mom and dad, just sort of looked at me as like, the golden child. They weren't like with me, they were like demanding things of me." So potentially, Lark and/or Sparrow used the syringes on Rebecca cause she threatened their marriage over what happen with Hero. (POST)
Speaking of Hero's childhood - Other than what happened very obviously traumatising her, "they showed me a glimpse of the Doodler for a second and I cried for 3 weeks straight," it also very heavily strained her relationship with Normal: "I feel like things have been choppy between us for a while" ... "It felt like I shouldn't befriend you, cause I knew at some point I'd have to like, sacrifice myself heroically and I didn't want to make you lose me in that way, so I felt like 'I should just keep him at arms length.' " It is suck a stark contrast and parallel to the (toxically) codependent relationship Lark and Sparrow have
HENRY - The fact that Henry is the last of the dads that is alive is so depressing and so expected. He has elf blood and is a high level druid, of course he's still alive. He is (most probably - we don't know the situation with Mercedes and Birdie) alone, all of his closest friends are dead, his sons don't talk to him and because of that he probably hasn't seen his grandchildren in ages either. If something happened to Mercedes and Birdie and Henry is truly alone, there are parallels with Hildy's final years (this post and the tags)
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goldensunset · 8 days ago
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"Unknown date" is the name of the partner that both Missing Link and Silksong are in some kind of toxic yaoi relationship with
HEFDHDNJSNDJDNDNDB
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orcelito · 1 month ago
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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cemeterym · 2 months ago
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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead
#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else#last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks#i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters#ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me#and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up#and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical#history to everyone i interact with#and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it#but it's every fucking time#most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast#i can never keep up#i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho#this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down#but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened#also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked#my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes#2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do#only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there#like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome#been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body#i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great#also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway#the group costume is winx club. btw
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girlcrushau · 8 months ago
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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sorrymcm · 5 months ago
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keller kang has quite the night without @wcvensouls ...
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psychicthepsychic-daily · 1 year ago
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thinking about how DD probably had to teach Psychic to read when he first broke the guy out of hell and Psi being a fast learner and eventually clearing 100k word novels in a day and DD actually being super impressed by his new, dedicated student since he himself never had much of a passion for reading but Psychic just has such a drive to LEARN new things, everything about the world DD gave him and he finds it quite endearing and Psychic is becoming really knowledgeable really fast and it’s all mostly his own efforts and DD has a personal library that he doesn’t really use but he starts letting Psychic borrow books and Psychic ends up spending a lot of time there and kind of runs the place now and he’s read every book DD has and DD now knows what to get Psi for special occasions and stuff and
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candyriku · 7 months ago
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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mashmouths · 9 months ago
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is it an adhd thing to need to reinvent the concept of a study space so you have any chance of actually studying or just a facet of being alive that no one warned me about
#like 2/3 of the battle of successfully being 'productive' is just finding out what will work for me in this moment as opposed to what worked#not even 30 minutes ago let alone yesterday. whether or not i can handle music and the type of music and the volume are all determined by#whims outside of my comprehension and i am. so tired. i can't work in a space that's too familiar unless i can except i can't. i can't work#in a space that's too unfamiliar unless i can except i can't. i can't work in a space with noise or without noise unless i can except i#can't. are we seeing the pattern here :( how has anyone alive ever established a routine ever when trying to parse my stupid needs hour by#hour is like pulling teeth every time. every bit of analysis and like reflection is a Task and i already can't handle tasks very well And i#takes up brain power and like. bits of my attention span that i desperately need to shore up to get anything actually? done? once i'm#settled? but i can't settle if it's not the right set up but i have to minutely tweak the set up until it's right but it so rarely is.#sorry to be like mopey on the dash i have papers and finals due and then actual finals week and i've been waiting on my period for a week :#what if things were. easier. hot take i know. and yes this is (hopefully) the last time i'll have to do finals unmedicated but ohhhhhhhhh m#god is this round determined to make it hurt as much as it possibly can to make up for it. a sigh and a sob etc etc#a post
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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not doing good. at all
#purrs#today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge#getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a#and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak#i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry#and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d#do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b#be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of#km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for#any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is#making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis#miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being#shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this#delete later
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olessan · 1 year ago
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I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
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#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
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