#i have been down and out
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the mutual aid los angeles network (malan) has put together a spreadsheet with valuable resources for people affected by the ongoing los angeles wildfires and wind storm. the sheet is constantly being updated with resources such as shelter info, animal boarding info, addresses for distribution centers, volunteer opportunities and so much more.
please share this spreadsheet widely
#los angeles#palisades fire#eaton fire#hurst fire#lidia fire#new fire just erupted in the Hollywood hills#my d*ds job burned down this morning my moms job is so close to one of the fires#i need to get back home#i see some ppl in the tags saying 'this happens every year' no this is on a completely different level#we are not in our fire season this is incredibly unprecedented and have never seen something like this#whole communities have been wiped out
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this is so devastating. laois should have just shot him with a gun
#put him out of his misery#it would have been kinder#like holy shit kabru blurts out that he wants to be laois' friend like it's some kind of confession#and then laois says that he knows it must be a lie because no one would ever be that down bad#that's so EMBARASSING#it's literally a miracle kabru didn't kill himself immediately after this conversation#i would have self immolated#dungeon meshi#kabru#laois#labru
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
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Consider: Post-canon Zuko wakes up in the body of his childhood self, the morning of That War Meeting. Would he still speak against the plans, knowing his fate? What do you think he would do differently the second time around?
"Turned away at the doors, Zuzu?"
"Shut up, Azula," her brother sulked. But sulked weirdly, after staring at her too long and too wide-eyed, not like she'd surprised him but--
But like he hadn't expected her to be there. At all.
He turned away. ...He turned back. "Hey, Lala? Do you think you could help me practice that one set?"
He didn't meet her eyes.
She narrowed hers. "Which set?"
"The one I'm bad at."
She scoffed. Pushed away from the wall she'd been leaning against. "That's all of them, Dum-Dum."
He didn't shout or stomp or yell about the nickname. His lips twitched.
"It's okay," he said. "If you're afraid you won't be a better teacher that my instructor..."
It was the most obvious manipulation ever.
Perhaps if he proved an adequate firebending student, she'd work on his courtly survival skills next. Honestly, it was good that not even Uncle Gets-Cousins-Killed had been fool enough to take Zuko into that war meeting. She could only imagine how terribly that could have gone.
"Keep up," she said, and turned her steps towards the training grounds.
He did. There, and during the katas she ran him through.
Azula kept her eyes narrowed.
"Hey," he asked, "do you know how to bend lightning yet?"
As if he could have missed it, if she'd been able to get more than sparks. "I will soon," she said.
"You will," he agreed, and flowed through his next set. The one she'd only just mastered.
Father didn't notice how weird Zuzu was being. Uncle never noticed anything. Zuko ate dinner and asked a servant for seconds and didn't stutter or flinch or lose his appetite when father asked, coolly, what he'd done with his day. Azula's shoulders tensed, because one mention of how she'd squandered her own training time teaching him--
"Azula hogged the training grounds. For hours," Zuzu scowled, exactly like a petulant thirteen year old.
Exactly like he hadn't been acting all day.
By the time Father was looking her way, Azula had her usual smirk in place. "I'm sure there would be room for both of us," she said, "you're not afraid of a little friendly fire, are you, brother?"
Zuko sulked. And ate his seconds, like he was enjoying each bite. There was something in his eyes, like a joke no one else was getting.
---
Father died that night. A heart attack. There were the faintest of burns to either side of the treacherous organ; the royal physician hypothesized that he'd grabbed at his chest, fingers burning hot in his final moments; so hot they'd only exacerbated the problem.
The royal physician would never have been brought any victims of lighting strikes. Those that occurred in the capital did not generally require a doctor in the aftermath.
Zuzu ate a hearty breakfast.
He didn't order seconds. Azula gave him points, at least, for not being tacky.
---
The sages named Iroh as regent.
They named Zuko as Fire Lord.
"No," the tiny Fire Lord in his perfectly miniaturized Fire Lord robes said, sitting at the head of his war council. "We're not doing that. And I'll be reviewing all recent battle plans, as well. What's this I hear about a division of new recruits being deployed to the front?"
He did not mention how he'd heard of the 41st Division. No one asked.
"Prince Iroh, surely--" one of the generals tried to appeal.
The young Fire Lord's regent was looking as startled as the rest of them, for a moment. Then he sipped his tea, and smiled.
"Your Fire Lord is correct, of course. A change in our leadership--a change the other nations may mistakenly view as weakness--will necessitate a change in our strategy."
"Now," said their lord, "what, exactly, is our overall objective in this war?"
War, the new Fire Lord decreed, was not an end unto itself.
---
The new Fire Lord continued to have time, to pretend to be trained by her. Azula watched him. Adjusted her footwork. Did not tolerate, and was not offered, any commentary on who was teaching who.
"What did you do with my brother?" she asked, as they flowed from one set to the next. As her hands, poised to throw fire, just so happened to be pointed his way.
He missed a step. It didn't look like an act.
"I'm, uh. Right here?"
She didn't bother to dignify that.
He didn't bother to look worried about her hands, one movement off from a true attack.
He looked around, then grabbed her sleeve, and tugged her further from any walls that may hide ears. The royal family's private training grounds were wonderfully large, and wonderfully open.
"It's me," he said. "It's still me. Just. More of me? Longer of me?"
She narrowed her eyes. A familiar expression, by this point. "Explain."
"...I found the Avatar," he said. "And this is definitely his fault, but--but I guess it started at a war meeting, when I was thirteen."
Azula listened. It was a very Dum-Dum story.
#Zuko blue spiriting off to kill a man: mom would be so proud <3#Regent Iroh is left to wonder when his nephew learned to brew a decent cup of calming tea#and also managed to develop an impressively fleshed out plan to transition the Fire Nation economy from war to industry#Hakoda looking down at an invitation to meet for formal peace negotiations: why does it say to bring my children#Kya: he's only thirteen. maybe he doesn't know which way he swings yet?#in another timeline Kya would have been killed by the same crew that was instead tasked to carry this message#sssh let's pretend the timing works#Azula: no but really give me one good reason not to tattle on your time-traveling possibly-just-a-body-stealing-spirit self to Uncle#Zuko: you could tattle on me#or#I could tattle on him#Hey Azula. Did you know Uncle left a breeding pair of dragons alive?#egg field trip egg field trip egg field trip#avatar the last airbender#atla#Zuko#Azula#fire lord Zuko#ficlet
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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the friendship chronicles: kirideku version
#bnha#mha#izuku midoriya#eijirou kirishima#kirideku#sorry to make them watch marley n me that’s just so evil#there were some rejected ideas bc i ran out of space 💔💔 but deku calling kiri ‘ei-chan’ for the first time and kiri being happy as can be!!#believe it or not ive had these sketch ideas jotted down since like november or older but theres been some resurgence for krdk#truly inspired me to work on this…#i actually have a lot of duo things In My Head i just never make them sorry#eggsdrawings
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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good night Sif
edit: Isa saying 'stars' is important
#siffrin? more like sif is out au#isat#in stars and time#isat au#siffrin#isabeau#isafrin#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#i have a vision but no time to draw a lot of different drawings so i hope i conveyed it as it is iyguygyu#i spent so much time drawing siffrin (i have trouble drawing people laying down) cause this is isa pov so sif NEED to look pretty/cute#if he isn't i failed#edit: I had forgotten to make the first isa hand layer visible omg. it have been edited now#mari draws#isat spoilers
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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fire cannot kill a dragon BITCH
#a song of ice and fire#game of thrones#asoiaf#got#mine.png#i have no clue what dany era this is i just wanted to see if i could get down how i think book dany looks just like. in general#results are inconclusive#also ive been doing like exclusively multimedia w either sketching or doing full colored pencil first and then taking a picture#on portrait mode ☝🏻#and finishing the rest in procreate so if things look weird thats like#why#im figuring stuff out lmao#and like! where ae the highlights on her coming from?? idk but surely not that fire#daenerys targaryen#adding tags bc my tags are my safe space and if ur reading them then. ur in this with me i locked the door i secured the chains..#just realized that lowkey with how daenerys is described as being just like#ethereally pretty as per the targ pretty gene#i sort of picture her face as like#one of those insanely pretty girls u see on tiktok and they just like naturally have a disney princess face#no makeup bc their skin is perfect and their lashes are naturally super thick and long#thats dany to me#this face ate an entire raw horse heart <3
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been thinking a normal amount about just how Strong yuuji is
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#yuuji#megumi#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#i have been drawing arms too much and with too much detail to not be thinking about how much this boy can lift#picks up megu like a sack of potatoes ....casual bridal style......#god they make me unwell#also these poses pushed me down the stairs if i have to look at one more stock wedding photo i am going to lose it#edit bc a bunch of megumis facial structure was out of proportion smh
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The pylidaigh, a type of vampiric snow ghost, as imagined in folklore in and around the Highlands.
This is a ghost believed to come into being when a person dies in the snow and their body is not found before their soul (still trapped without its funeral rites) 'freezes' inside of it. The body then reanimates into a pylidaigh's twisted form. It looks like someone who slowly died of starvation, just a thin layer of flesh over bones. Its skin is as white as the snow itself, so pale it can blend seamlessly into a blizzard. Most of its body appears subtly stretched and lanky, save for its exceptionally unsubtle long, skinny arms, which drag on the ground behind it when it walks. After a big meal of blood, its belly swells like the abdomen of a tick.
A pylidaigh can only tread across snow and ice, and so doorways and windows are best kept clear of snowfall during the winter in order to prevent it from reaching inside. It mostly comes out to hunt during blizzards when there is little that can prevent it from catching its victims.
In spite of its fragile appearance, a pylidaigh is supernaturally strong, and can run at great speeds when it wants to. No mortal weapons can pierce its body, nor can any bonds known to craftsmen hold it in place. It is usually said that chains forged like iron but made out of ice can bind a pylidaigh and render it immobile, but this smithing technique remains tragically elusive to the average joe.
This ghost is either cast as a wildly dangerous but tragic figure, or one that is more simply malicious. In either case, it is described as experiencing nothing but bitter cold. It shivers endlessly. It retains distant memories of what it was to be alive, and it is motivated by a futile desperation to experience the feeling of warmth again.
In more sympathetic framings, it is described as using its freaky gibbon arms to capture its victims and pull them into an embrace, rather innocently trying to warm itself against their body. This inevitably fails, and the embrace becomes a bone crushing squeeze. When that too fails to warm the ghost, it rips out the person's throat and drinks their blood until the victim is as cold and drained as the pylidaigh itself.
In other cases, this more pitiable narrative of a ghost seeking warmth with no comprehension of its actions is discarded in favor of making it purely monstrous. Here it is a type of vampire with an insatiable thirst, practically a physical manifestation of the worst of winter itself. Some tales acknowledge both variants, suggesting a pylidaigh's violent attempts to warm itself may be initially devoid of malice, but turns into an act of furious jealousy of the warmth of the living after years of suffering.
The only (more or less) surefire method to permanently kill a roaming pylidaigh involves trapping it with fire. They are attracted to any source of heat, and will attempt to warm themselves with the flames (if not tempted away by a juicy living human body). The fire itself cannot kill them (as the sheer cold of their body is more powerful even than flame) but they can be trapped if kept near the fire long enough for the snow it depends upon to melt. This does not kill the pylidaigh either. The monster will remain in stuck in place (and potentially become a threat again if it snows more) for the duration of the winter. Only when the spring comes and all the snow melts does it revert into a normal human carcass (though mysteriously invulnerable to decay), at which point it can be cremated.
Pylidaigh in the wilds also revert to a human corpse during the snowless seasons, but will roam again each following winter unless it is burnt in the interim. It is of critical importance that any human corpse found in high mountain pasture is cremated- not only out of respect for the poor soul trapped as an earthbound ghost, but to prevent the threat of the possible dormant pylidaigh emerging next winter.
#Imagine this thing Naruto running towards you at 20 mph#This was loosely inspired by me getting hypothermia once while camping very close to a town but on a mountainside a few#miles above it. Think it would be considered moderate I knew what was happening but was very confused and disoriented#Knowing my body was too fucking cold and my heartbeat was too slow and I couldn't stop shivering#Looking down on the lights below and being like Bro I Have To Get There And Get Warm Or Am Going To DIE#I woke up from sleep while in this state which like. Thank god because otherwise I might have legit died but it felt like I was dreaming.#It was so surreal just like walking then driving towards the lights knowing I NEEDED to get there NEEDED to get warm.#I was able to drive down without getting into an accident and got to a hospital so it ended up okay and my arms didn't strecth#out like a gibbon or anything.#folklore#hill tribes#I've been working on a pylidaigh folktale for a few days but it's taking a while because I keep going back and fourth on whether#I'll write it in character voice or not
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logan purrs when he's asleep. he purrs like a content little cat when he's smushed into wade's side, his whole adamantium weight pressing into wade who doesn't really mind because ✨️who in their right mind says no to wolvie cuddles✨️ (wade uses him as a weighted blanket anyway, who needs air pffffft he doesn't)
but HOLY MARVEL JESUS he has a silent freak out the first time he discovers logan purring in his sleep during one of their movie binges. (they have weekly movie nights fight me)
a healthy (not) bout of cuteness aggression happens that night and even though wade is a little confused both by the fact that logan actually fell asleep on him and that HE IS PURRING OH MY GOD- he doesn't fight it and even naps with him (the best sleep both of them have ever had considering lots of nights are full with nightmares and insomnia)
and the thing is- wade very carefully talks to some of the surviving xmen in their universe about it and they just go 🤔🤨❓️ because not one of them has ever seen or heard logan do this (i'd imagine maybe kayla or mariko, scott even - logan told him about them, but hey wade can't really ask them can he) and then wade REALIZES and it hits him SO hard. logan is comfortable with him. he's at ease and relaxed enough in his presence to allow himself to slip into his slightly more animalistic traits without having to fear any judgement or rejection. he. is. comfortable. and wade maybe cries a little (a lot) at that realisation, holding logan even tighter when it happens again - the older man slumped against him during one of their movie nights, sleeping tight and soft purrs vibrating deep from his chest
#ehm this sugar cube just tumbled out of me i swear#sorry about that#i had to I HAD TO all the poolverine purring fanart and fics have me on the floor#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#wade x logan#xmen logan#my hc writing#i just love how we've all accepted that the purring happens#no arguments taken#been working on the other poolverine fics but my mind is just hating everything i write down soooo#it'll take a bit#:-(#sorry#have at this my children#come scream with me about them
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thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#im gonna add these to my notfics on ao3 i think i have a Lot of these floating around#a bit shorter than my other metas but i think its something that gets missed when people talk about alone#soap is a violent man#his career literally trains him to shoot first ask questions later#and yet he still tries his best to avoid blood when faced with betrayal#and you realise it actually does fit him#soap cares about the men he serves with#he wants to save the men at the crash site he checks on a downed soldier he asks about civilians about alejandros family#hes very tuned into the people around him#and he cant turn that off until hes forced to#until graves gives him a reason to hate him#and all of that previous care and consideration goes out the window#‘makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own’#dont cross soap#you want like what happens if you do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#meta#phillip graves#graves cod#save post
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