#i have adhd ok this shit is hard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starmans-spacelibrary · 8 months ago

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I have three essays due and im only 380 words into the first one i have never been more cooked in my life

#save me #i have adhd ok this shit is hard #dont get me wrong i adore analysis and writinf essays but its just so hard to focus #im gonna cry #why cant i focus i took my adhd meds 😿#tips welcome i guess idk #the one im writing is about the film black swan btw #and the other two are abt classics and toxic masculinity in media #i have my work cut OUT for me jeez

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seraphsfire · 1 year ago

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oh my GOD i finlaly got to the place in neil's stream where the character he invented is banging the character he invented and she (player character) picks up astarion to do some Adult Fantasy Game things and neil just blurts out "oooh, mommy?" ,MSDFOIWYHEGTHSDHSG

#NEIL IS SUCH A BAD BOY #ALSO HE MENTIONED BOTH HIM AND TOM HAVING ADHD I CALLED IT SO HARD #POOR THEO SOLOMON HAVING TO SEE THIS SHIT KSKDFJSHDGHG #neil newbon #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #tbd?#neil: this is getting a little wierd even for me / also neil: MOMMY? oh wait she's/im kind of hot .... omg look at astarions abs...#starting to think he wants to make a neil sandwich with each of them on either side #he did call astarion 'my boyfriend' last stream rip #its ok king i see u its how everybody with bi/pan panic feels in this game

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barfville · 3 months ago

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sketchbook dyump of a few lil comics.

anyone elses father make them insane even though you've never even had much contact with the bastard

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pallanophblargh · 2 years ago

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I think part of me expected this burnout would last a long time, but it’s drawing close to a year now. I have a strong reason to suspect medications are prolonging it. Granted: I have no intention of stopping medication, but I suspect I may need to make some changes. It’s been nice not to feel burning rage/crippling despair/panic most of the time, but I also miss being able to actually... act on things! Start things! Feel some semblance of motivation, as fleeting as it is. Mostly my reaction to prompts of any kind are “nah, don’t wanna” or “so what?” which isn’t terribly conducive to anything more than day to day life. (Y’all, I can’t even reliably plan my vacation and that’s pretty terrible.)

I’m saying this in part as a sort of explanation as to why I’ve been so slow to respond to anything, or post any art, or even re-open commissions this past year. I just... generally can’t make myself do anything that isn’t a part of my daily maintenance routine. Knowing that making art (even personal art) takes 3x times as long to complete is a standout reason I’ve been refusing to reopen commissions especially, since I’d be unwilling to make clients wait more than a few months for even something as simple as a sketch. People were patient enough with “Old Me,” I don’t think most would hold out for “New Me.”

Thankfully I’m speaking to my doctor tomorrow regarding my experiences on the current medication, and maybe I can find something that works a little better. I feel like I’ve been pretty fortunate so far, all things considered, and my side effects have been fairly mild. (Though I have suspicions it’s also thinning out my hair something fierce... probably time for supplements for that issue!)

Hopefully I’ll figure it out sooner rather than later? Either way, I’m learning to accept things as they are these days.

#April rambles #text post #mental health #medication #I know I'm one of the lucky ones but I'm still not discounting my aggravations #like yeah I'd like to think I should be capable of motivation #but at what cost?#and I never thought I'd care so much about hair loss but yikes I never had a lot of hair to begin with #wanting to cry anytime I see someone with a full head of thick hair #guess I'm kinda shallow after all lol #I have some beef regarding my other issues and suspicions but whatever #I can deal with them later #but I still find it hard to believe I've been assigned Just Anxiety instead of low grade well masked ADHD #Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever #I'm a pleasant zombie for the most part are you happy?#I can't be arsed to do really anything are you sure that's just anxiety?#I'm literally masquerading as an apathetic potato most of the time now with meds so yeah ok sure?#we'll get there someday I hope #shit count my blessings it could be so much worse

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rose-lalondde · 10 months ago

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pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)

#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself #im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule #why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses #one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better #the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week #and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend #then go back to work do you understand my problem #anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ???#but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark!#any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg #just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait...#ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half!#i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg #where the therapists at omg #moon posts #long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3

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graciousdragon · 7 months ago

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*walks in, covered in ash and emanating smoke, like a Looney Tunes character after surviving an explosion* hey guys i'm back

#rys.txt #uh. long ass tags that are mostly me venting below #second semester of college down and i think i did even worse than the first one #i've definitely failed at least one class but probably more than that. in fact i can only confidently say that i passed one class #i'm too scared to look at the grades on canvas. everything gets finalized on like. wednesday i think #i'm not getting worked up about it. my dad's gonna be pissed but you know what? i'm also pissed!#i am genuinely unable to focus on my work! i've genuinely tried everything i can think of to help and it has only barely helped!#every time i try to focus on my school work it feels like my brain just disconnects! no matter what the fuck i do!#and if i try to ask my dad for help he's like “just focus on your work” BITCH I TRIED! I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO!#so help me god i WILL be evaluated for adhd this summer otherwise i'm just not gonna fucking go back #MY BROTHER IN CHRIST THERE IS CLEARLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME AND THERE HAS BEEN FOR YEARS!!#SORRY YOU WERE NEVER AROUND AND NEVER INTERACTED WITH ME ENOUGH TO SEE IT!! SORRY I LEARNED TO MASK AROUND YOU FOR FEAR OF BEING TOLD OFF!!#ok. venting about my father in the tags aside. things are looking up for me now!! :D #school is over! i don't have to worry about that for another 4 months! my friends are back in town! i have time alone during the day!#I HAVE A DISC DRIVE FOR MY COMPUTER I CAN BURN CDS NOW!! I'M SO HYPE I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG #I'M LITERALLY GOING THROUGH THIS BIG BOX OF OLD CDS AND FLOPPY DISKS AND SHIT FROM OUR BASEMENT AND THERES BLANKS I CAN BURN!!#MY MENTAL HEALTH IS NO LONGER TOTALLY IN THE SHITTER BABY!! I'M BACK!!

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rosicheeks · 8 months ago

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😓🤬

#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much #I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path #called a php place and think I know where I’m going #have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there #I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right?#called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists #I need to get most of this shit done before June #so that ain’t gonna work #called the psych place my doctor referred me to #(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back)#so I had no hope they were even going to pick up #I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday #literally I felt like everything was finally aligning #I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am #then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed #now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor #so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is #when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral #I told them I did get a referral???#they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else #but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing #SO she just forgot to add it to my referral #I get people make mistakes #but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately #I’m just trying to be healthy #and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help #also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about #was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism #so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism #either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad

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pussymasterdooku · 1 year ago

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💃🔪👨🏻

👨🏻🔨👩🏻‍🔧

🏃‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏢

#this is an illustration of me enthusiastically committing patricide and then running away #because that is the mood of the day #my mom got her report from her adhd testing and she shared it with me because i am an experienced reader of psych reports #and a longtime adhd haver and knower abouter #and she didn’t want to share it with him because she KNEW he’d be mean and leverage it against her #and she called me because she was sad it’s taken her so long to get diagnosed when she has it actually quite bad #and i was like well it speaks to your strengths that you’ve been successful even as this flew under the radar #and i pointed out her strong score on initiation as something that probably helped disguise other symptoms #since she can start things better than anyone else i’ve ever known with adhd #and he cruises in to say THATS NOT A STRONG SCORE ITS JUST BETTER THAN OTHERS. ITS JUST AVERAGE #and i’m. livid actually #and the way this brings up soooo much of what i hated myself for way back when #and how the ways he does not respect her so closely parallel the ways i thought about myself for years. because i’m SO much like her #and he denies that as a compliment to me and i’m like no i like being like her???? asshole lol #he also had shit to say re her lowish score on emotional regulation and she’s like…if you think living with me is hard imagine BEING me????#anyway we’re going down there in a week we’ll see if he survives or if i have to break out his oversize hammer collection #alhpd #ok actually i updated the pictures. eva’s knifing him i’m beating him w tools and then we run away together. marriage!

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silverislander · 2 years ago

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i swear to fucking GOD i'm gonna lose it i just realized i have a 12 page paper due in a week and i haven't even picked a fucking topic. i was doing so good this semester too

#just. fuck!!#no matter how hard i fucking try shit like this always happens #im always gonna forget something and fall behind even with a weeks long fucking head start #its so fucking frustrating i cant even explain how mad and disappointed i am with myself rn #ill probably have to ask the prof for an extension and hope hes ok w it. but i truly dont know if he will bc hes really strict on deadline #levi.txt #ever since the strike shuffled the schedules ive been completely thrown off #but honestly this wouldve fucking happened to me anyways it literally always does. every semester smth like this happens #and i cant even fix it bc like. my therapist went through a bunch of ways to study w adhd and i already do/have tried All of them #everything shes mentioned i already know about #im doing as much as i possibly can already and somehow THIS is my best #barring medication that i cant go on and accommodations i cant get

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haunted-house-heart · 2 years ago

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yknow one thing about me is that i've never been told i'm difficult to buy gifts for

#like i have a lot of very easily findable interests #a Lot of media based interests you can buy merch for #a good handfull of hobbies you can get supplies for #and other things like cats moths mothman lemons anything pride related #and all my fuckin collections i'm a magpie buy me a jar of buttons from the dollar tree and i owe you a life debt #and like even just a gift card for hot topic or barnes and noble and youre set #the rest of my family is so hard to shop for like my mom isnt super invested in any one type of thing #and my sis bounces around between hobbies so fast like one day she collects crystals the next she wants nothing to do with them #(we all have wildly different forms of adhd)#but i am Such a material person i Love random shit and i'm so easily amused too like bring me a piece of metal you found on the ground and #im happy with that yknow?#anyway i'm rambling #kai i AM going to bed just had one last thought while the meds kick in #i was actually checking my alarm but got distracted #emery.exe #ok goodnight

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scarletcomet · 2 years ago

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i am so normal and not mentally ill at all