#ok so i’ve never mentioned this
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#:•)#long tags#ok so i’ve never mentioned this#but yes i have over 5000 drafts on this blog#it’s like#i’ve tried to keep what i post within the ‘limits’ of a daily moodboard#so when something i like doesn’t fit the daily aesthetic i’ll draft it (so i almost never queue)#i used to aim for 3 posts that i felt like rhymed#and posts 4 and 5 were encores if i could keep the vibe in focus and not blurry it too much#ALSO drafting/saving/bookmarking scratches a huge ADHD itch for me#unfortunately the digital hoarding reminds me of my mothers irl hoarding :•) but that’s for another day#but i’ve had this blog for 7-8 years so that’s realistically abt 2 drafts a day#old habits die hard#i can’t even scroll past 6 months of drafts though the app starts glitching#and if it boots me back to top it’s over#god knows what weeby shit lies deep in those 2016 drafts#i also changed my posting style to be more erratic#3 posts a day ain’t it#also why the charlie pfp fits so much better than my old anime mc photoshops lol#uhhhhhhhh yeah /end#adhdposting#EDIT: READING THE COMMENTS IS SO VALIDATING SOMEONE HAD 16000 HOLYYYYY
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headcanon: dick actually prefers wearing baggy clothes in public and is way more comfortable in them because nobody comments on his body when he’s not in form-fitting outfits
and it sucks because he actually really enjoys wearing form-fitting outfits and feels good in them, but any time he does people stare or catcall or even grope him and he just. can’t handle that after everything
plus the villains kissing him as nightwing thing has gotten so bad that he’s genuinely considering getting a mask that covers the lower half of his face
#i have a lot of feelings about him okay#dick grayson#dc comics#nightwing#dc stop having characters sexually harass nightwing challenge#these are not fun hcs#moreso ‘how i think these things would affect him’#dick not even feeling comfortable wearing skinny jeans in public.#dc i am coming for you#cuz the amount of times that he’s harassed and objectified etc is ridiculous!!#and it would definitely affect him!!!!#he’s shown to be visually uncomfortable with it! multiple times!#and is also canonically a SA/rape survivor!!#dc writers i will find you.#cw sa mention#when in costume around people he is constantly on edge#except his family and friends ofc#but even in a mask and armor he feels less safe than he would in a hoodie and sweats#anywayyyyy#yeah i cant stop thinking about him again#the Grayson writers specifically i will hunt down and kill one by one#in my head this started with me thinking about amab nonbinary dick grayson#and then i was like#yeah cuz he’s woman coded so it makes sense which brought me to WHY he’s women coded#(because he’s just as sexualized and objectified as them)#i’ve literally never seen any other male character treated this way. just dick grayson#ok sorry i’m rambling
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so disappointed in the internet i just mentioned something about red guy in a comment section and someone ACTUALLY SAID “lol the dhmis trend is dead 💀” ????? HUH
#so sad. someone also replied saying it’s trash and fnaf is better.. but#i never mentioned anything about fnaf 😭��#i’ve loved this show since i was a wee 9 year old not just bc of the trend…#BUT if you came into the fandom because if it being trending that’s totally fine. but what an insane sentence.#guys if something is not trending it doesn’t exist/matter ok??? makes perfect sense#☎️#dhmis#don't hug me i’m scared
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Gawd I’m. it’s 4:20am and I’ve been listening to exclusively the new 21 savage album since it dropped last night and I’m thinking abt my ocs . And spacewaffles I suppose
#RRRGG I can never get Bacon’s colors right but it’s ok!!!#it’s sooo okay and fine I’m deffo not upset abt it ^_^#lifesteal smp#baconnwaffles0#planetlord#oc: Corduroy#im so proud of the name Corduroy I really like it . need to flesh out her character more <33#UGH ok I dislike how Planet’s head/hair looks and Bacon’s hair is too fucking saturated AND you can’t tell that’s it’s braids !!!#Corduroy looks fine. love you Corduroy <333#according to procreate I spent 2.5 hours on this OHGG MY GOD WHYYY#ok caption true tho new 21 kinda awesome#my favorites so far r see the real and uhh#wait hold on#and just like me . special mention should’ve wore a bonnet . THAT song takes me straight back to middle school and swing screen doors <3333#AND ICE POPS AND WATER BALLON FIGHTS that we were allowed to start past 7pm cuz parents would make us clean up and we had school#damn. I love music#ok bye I’ve been here for long enough and i probs need to sleep lol#nox art
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i need brownies so fucking bad rn
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀turn it up!⠀#unrelated croomf has pissed me off to immeasurable amounts. reduced back to oomf#overthat#anyway#DY piece tn i need it to go#and also this song is soooo minhui i threw up everywhere#decided for better or for worse that kit will be implemented here instead of in the group w kyun.. kyun works best on his own for me idk#he’s not gnna have a massive part (for now) and i dont plan on him leaving 127 to join BB or anything so he’ll def stay on the side#buttttt i did start up a little gogo piece through his eyes#i rly like the idea of never writing in gg’s pov does that jst make me sound rly lazy#BECAUSE!!!!! IM NOT!!! well i am but not w this hear me out#he puts on so many faces with everyone and even if with some he’s more ‘him’ than with others he’s never really actually#gone the whole way bared his soul the whole shebang to everyone bar like one person. so he’s kinda lonely AS EFF!!!#and idk i js like the idea of him being (when u get down 2it) a stranger. he doesnt even wanna show himself to the narrative IJBOLLL#sooooo yeah. it does kinda sound like a cop-out 4 if he acts like a different person in every piece but i think ive been p consistent so#that one person was in dream btw.. he left partly because he was bored and felt like he’d end up going nowhere and#partly because he was HUMILIATED by doing all that he needed to pack his bags and get the fuck out its kinda funny#mention ** to him and he’ll look like that pic of that one 2000 yard stare soldier its serious#worse than saying ‘hyeonmin and jaehee are in the same room rn haha’ to yijun.. but barely anyone will ever find that out#ANYWAY! i like to think kit + cherryade are the closest to seeing minhui as he is right after redacted explosions gunshots#‘im on fire and i’ve got to break out’ + ‘i've had enough of this got to break it through’ LIKE ITS HIMMM!#and dont even mention the ‘got to leave all trouble living life on the double’ I HATE THIS OSNGGGG#They made it for him. IDGAF if it came out in 2001.#ok sorry for yapping i might go make toast
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all the people wanting queer trauma porn who would’ve bet money on cap killing himself because he’s gay owe me £1000 btw. you fucking freaks
#suicide#suicide mention#since 2019 i have had to see these takes#and i’ve said all along they would Never do that to him#‘oh but historically men have done this’ ok but this is fiction#and comedy can have tragedy. so many of the other deaths are#and so is cap’s#but his death was terrible without it being directly caused by his sexuality#and shame surrounding it#you guys have been unbearable with it#quill to paper
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hey cuties in my phone. i just want you to know i love you very much and life is so fucking hard but so worth living and if it’s dark for you rn just know i am rooting for you and i hope things get easier <3.
#i just want u to know that if u think no one cares i do!!!!!#on a little break but I’ll be back to it soon just need to process everything#tw death#also warning for mention of suic*de if you continue in these tags i just need to vent#i love u all dw im ok<3#it never gets easier when someone i know my age passes away. Especially when they take their life.#i grew up in a bad area a lot of us had bad lives and I’ve lost ppl before. but this one hurts a lot. so much actually.#we were both in the psych ward together as teens and exchanged facebooks to stay friends. she understood me on a level very few ever could#she had a tattoo inspired by a memory of us. we shared something I’ve never found with anyone else. and now she is gone.#i always hoped life would get easier for her. why doesn’t it get easier for such good people? questions my brain can’t comprehend#i hope she’s found the peace she was so cruelly denied here :/#I think i have cried until there are no more tears in my body rn#ramblings
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I don’t talk about the issue with my hand on here because well.. it’s extremely personal and I rarely even bring it up with my irl friends tbh but !!! I’ve made a huge step in hopefully.. uh. healing it, and I feel somewhat confident what I’m doing will actually help me so much.. I hope so at least.. I’ve had this issue for truly as long as I can remember and I don’t think it will ever fully uh.. go away, I suppose.. but the idea of it being better than the state it currently is in just….idk. I could cry thinking about it, happy tears I mean !!! Im trying not to get my hopes up because I’ve tried so so so many things in the past and all have only helped a little bit for maybe just a few weeks but this., it just feels different, it feels like it might actually work.. I hope it works
#i know I’ve been very vague about this but like. yeah..#I’m hoping if I actually write it out and mention it to people then somehow it will help.. idk.. that’s silly I know but still#anyway please send love and strength that my hand will begin to heal.. even if it never fully heals#as long as it gets better than what it’s currently like.. idk .. I’m being so vague sorry lol#also I’ve had asks before about why I wear a glove all the time - hopefully if this works I won’t have to wear it !!!#that’s likely far in the future though .. it’s a lot to try and heal but yeah .. ok :-)#a
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Just completed the Happiness moment from Step 3 DLC with my graphics on high 💪😎 (I went to the aquarium on a field trip)
#ok so like hilarious story actually#I always loved aquariums bc I’m very much NOT neurotypical#and neither are any of my friends#anyway I realized that squealing is actually a common vocal stim#bc I’ve never had one like that#and combined with the fact that we were in an aquarium#anytime one of them would squeal I’d be like ‘OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE OL:BA’#and then I would stim#and then they’d stim on top of that stimming#and like it’s a fucking aquarium so I’m already stimming beforehand#so it was very much neurodiv euphoria bc I can’t just chill about a silly visual novel that doesn’t effect ppl as much as it does me#anyway don’t live in a highly populated city like ever#actually if your city is mentioned in at least 4 semi popular songs gtfo asap#how is ‘tax’ $3 on top of an already $25 bracelet#AND WHETHER IM USING THAT BRACELET AS AN ANKLET OR NOT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS#our life#olba#our life beginnings & always#derek suarez#baxter ward#our life: beginnings & always#our life cove#gb patch games#cove holden#ily cove holden#guys i love cove holden#guys i am helplessly in love with cove james holden
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i screamed actually
#all her selfies from this day were scrumptious#i haven’t watched this yet to be completely honest i’ve been busy making ayluna knockoff ocs for artfight#i probably shouldn’t say that on here but the grind never stops#i just want art of them ok.#but this look#Yay. i cheered loudly#i loveyeri this cb is so good for her cuz ^^ i feel shes very visible. like doing a lot#focused on. Makes me JOYOUS#🧸#also the eye makeup. Yeah i had to mention it#it’s so good
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just left the house for the first time today to see the full moon :) it is almost 70 degrees out and so smokey :)
#and a coyote ran past me just as i was getting to my door so now i’m shaky :) and can’t breave :)#it’s 9:30pm!!!!!#also like. fuck me for even mentioning fire season yesterday#also my house is kind of a mess which makes me feel even worse but that’s ok because. i will clean it tomorrow and feel better#today i just let myself linger in sadness n anxiety hehe#tomorrow is a new day! i have to talk on the phone with my gp whom i’ve never met!#hhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and then get new insurance lmao it was nice knowin her
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GODDDD i just miss being able to watch new episodes of riverdale live and have FUN with them. i remember watching the josie and the pussycats episode in my tiny single dorm room with like 5 of my friends packed onto my twin bed and when archie kissed kevin on the cheek we all ERUPTED in a screaming fit. and then a few weeks later we all did the same thing with the next to normal episode and again like when charles burst into the room singing we stood up and cheered like our sports team had just scored a touchdown or whatever. and even though i didn’t really like s6 very much it STILL had moments like these in the majority of episodes. but now every week i watch it alone in my bed on my laptop and i spend the entire time brain rottingly bored at best and genuinely upset and angry at worst. like what happened i miss riverdale!!!! :(
#i just feel nothinggggggg anymore it makes me actually want to burst into tears. riverdale nights used to be the most exciting nights of my#week and now i forget it’s even airing until like an hour before it starts. feels fucking bad man#not to keep beating a dead horse about how much i hate this season like I know I’ve made it clear. last night just really really did#something to me man. and it’s because they mentioned stonewall prep and i got SO excited because I was like ok FINALLY they’re gonna give me#a moment thag makes me stand up and yell like I used to be able to do. they’re gonna put bret on my screen and I’m gonna scream and run into#the other room to tell my sister about it and it’s gonna be fun and it’s gonna feel like how I’m used to feeling while watching this show.#but then they were like hey here’s two made up stonewall preppies who you’ve never seen or heard about before and who yoh certainly don’t#care about. that’s what you want right. and i literally think something in my brain snapped. irreparably#so now I’m just sitting here thinking about how the time of my life hen I got to watch my favorite show with my friends every week and jump#up and down and scream and laugh and cheer every 5 minutes is over and im never gonna get to do that again. which is awesome <3#this is so fucking melodramatic i know im sorry it’s just that I’ve snapped like I said. something happened last night & now im busted#but anyways. how are you guys doing#taylor xoxo
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i rarely ever skip class but earlier this week i was sleeby and skipped my first class on monday and APPARENTLY god wanted to punish me because during that class my professor restructured the rest of the semester and now i’m flying blind bc i missed the explanation
#personal#i’m being dramatic but it’s kinda funny#like he moved around some exam dates and changed the content in the class or something#and i didn’t know until i checked the class gc and saw someone mention the change#like ok this is news to me !!! i was structuring my weekend based on when i was gonna have to take this exam#i never skip class but apparently when i do it throws my whole life off#no jk but i can actually count on one hand the number of times i’ve skipped class in my entire life#and two of them barely count bc one of them was an online class so it didn’t really matter whether or not i came anyway#and one of them i had a really bad migraine so i technically did have an excuse but i just didn’t tell anyone i wasn’t coming
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I fucking hate communal laundry machines I just spent like 5 hours doing a shit ton of laundry, had to wash a bunch of it TWICE and it STILL smells worse than when I put it in. musty with the smells of other people i’m fucking done
#fjfjjwjwjsidifi#not to mention itS $2 TO WASH AND 1.50 TO DRY??#I spent like $30 just on WASHING THE SHIT#not to mention the expensive ass laundry supplies??#I bought fucken OXYCLEAN today so my shit wouldn’t smell like GROSS OTHER PPL AND YET#this is like a big texture / sensory ICK for me too fr#like I hate bad smells so much and now they on my stuff??#u tellin me I gotta do all this shit tomorrow too?? and STILL have it turn out like this—?#ok i’m done I swear rant over 0.0#but anger not over#nEVER ovER#I swear i’ll know i’ve made it when I have my own laundry machine ://#reasons to stay on the grind ig 😔😔💪#personal
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The scariest part of being in a relationship with someone who loves you and accepts you as you are in a way nobody ever had before is that you start really actually thinking about life with them. My ex and I talked about getting married and living together back then, but I don’t think I ever THOUGHT thought about what came after. Not the life impact and the cohabitation and what that really means for you both and the career aspects and the actual long term future. The man I’m with now makes me feel so safe and so genuinely loved that I’m like. Actually considering having kids with him one day. Like actual birthed-from-my-body children. Carried for nine months and pushed out in a horrifically painful process, definitely going to involve getting stuck with needles babies. I have never in my life even CONSIDERED that much less not been nearly sick at the thought. But this man makes me feel safe and supported enough that I might actually be ok having kids if it’s with him. What the fuck.
#personal bluh#he loves that idea too#I mentioned the thought to him finally and he lit up#I’ve told him for YEARS that I never wanted to have kids#so of course the fact that he is the one starting to change my mind is stroking his ego#he has never ever pressured me about it#and is totally chill if we never ever do#but unfortunately I’m starting to realize I may want that with him one day#not now obviously we gotta get out of school and into our lives#but one day?#I actually might be ok with that#it was cute though I joked about how not cute I would be pregnant#because I wouldn’t be#but apparently he disagrees#the idea of me waddling around like that is apparently very cute to him#because he turned pink at the thought#he’s adorable like that
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it fucking boggles my mind that some stupid ass stoners will swear up and down that withdrawals from weed is Not real and everyone who talks about experiencing it must be lying. it’s so fucking irresponsible. genuinely cannot stand how some ppl engage with weed in such a way that they minimize any and all risks (such as withdrawals, like i’m talking about now, but also like.. the possibility of developing psychosis if it’s something that you’re susceptible to ie it’s in the family or what have you. as an example). like there’s this idea that your experience is the experience and it’s entirely safe for everyone in all situations and there’s no risks of anything at all is just. i could scream.
obligatory disclaimer that i am also a heavy weed smoker and listening to experiences outside of your own / being able to accept factual information as true is not an attack on weed or ppl who use it (good fucking god). the point here is being responsible / informed / caring for yourself and others
idk if i need to say this either but don’t reblog please. this isn’t an eloquently phrased psa or whatever and i’m sure others have put this to better words that are more encompassing of the issue i’m describing. this is a personal post. i’m just. frustrated and complaining on my soapbox. thanks
#on that note i also really really hate when people offer weed to someone who’s never smoked before and like#DONT make sure they’re ok? don’t inform them of the differences between sativa and indica and edibles vs smoking and those risks i mentioned#whatever i’m just sitting here trying not to vomit from withdrawal and getting so so so mad at all the conversations online about how#‘it’s not real you can’t get withdrawals from you’re lying’#when i’m just trying to look for resources from other ppl who experienced this to maybe lessen my symptoms so i can eat w/o getting sick!#damn!#also the amount of stories i’ve heard from friends and ppl i know abt their first experience w weed and how they were basically thrown into#the deep end with no heads up or information or care / oversight from the ppl smoking them up for the first time#it’s just. fucking stupid and irresponsible and careless to act as if it’s totally safe with no risks.#it endangers ppl.#rambled enough. tags for blacklist time#weed#drugs
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