#i have a referral for a psychiatrist

[demphen]

i need 2 do my fucking homework can someone give me adderall PLEASE

[pikslasrce]

i wish there was a way to get rid of your tits that doesnt include making it everyone elses business...

[considerad]

oh how I love responding to every little thing by having a panic attack nowadays

[frogfacey]

girl help I am trapped in a neverending loop vis a vis my acquiring of hormones. go to the gender clinic, get a referral to an online psychiatrist, online psychiatrist loses or ignores my referral, go to the gender clinic, get a referral to an online psychiatrist, online psychiatrist loses or ignores my referral, go to the gender clinic,

[insufferablemod]

healthcare system my detested...

[himblebo]

Oh god oh fuck

[byanyan]

maaaan, you know shit's fucked when I'm not even shitposting or sharing headcanons lmao...

[soupcrouton]

Why do they make mental health resources so hard to access. Like bitch if you wanna help mentally ill people make it easy for them to get to you!!!!

[ghostfungus]

Laying in bed scared

[thatshadowgastwhore]

catch me acting confused as to why I feel hopeless and am sleeping all the time but am always tired, am irritable at the world, and can't finish tasks like I don't know the symptoms of depression and also didn't just spend several months in a mixed manic/depressive state after spending the month before THAT in a weird ass manic episode, like you know what's happening, the only question is why you're confused by this turn of events

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just put on my to-do list "Go to Kwik Trip to buy the snack mix I like, as a treat," because I had a psychiatrist appointment, scheduled therapy appointments, and I'm going to make a call I've been avoiding for weeks. I may do more, but that alone is deserving of a little treat

[cakesexuality]

So, bc I see discussions in the notes--

First thing, you can write up a psychiatric advance directive. It holds a different amount of legal weight depending on where you are in the world (and I don't even know if it carries any weight where I am), but at the very least, it can serve as a guide for your next-of-kin in their decision-making. Advance directives are where you plan ahead for potential medical situations where you may be deemed unable to make your own decisions, so a psychiatric advance directive would be when you're in a better mental state and planning ahead for if you were to become in a very bad mental state.

Second thing, there are in fact places you can go if you're suicidal and don't feel safe at home but don't want to go to the hospital, as long as you're not severely suicidal. In one of the cities in my province (and I'm sure it exists in other cities, but this is the one that I have in mind) there's a centre that offers lots of mental health services including a place to stay for up to 3 days where you can be monitored by staff without the dehumanisation that often happens in hospitals. It doesn't offer as much support as inpatient, which is why they put a limit on the severity of things, but it might be better than you staying at home.

the goofiest thing about people who defend forced hospitalization is that they act like that’s the only option. they’ll look at you with a straight face and act like the only health care options in the world are to either imprisonment via police escort or let people just die in the street. what about outpatient care? having someone check in daily? support groups? online networks? actually making any attempt to relieve any of the immediate pressures that are causing the problem? doing inpatient psych but making it actually voluntary, which means you get to have your stuff, you get to talk to your friends and family, you check your own self out of you feel like it? like why don’t you try treating mentally ill people like noncriminals and see where the fuck that gets you, you know?

[crustmanthedog-barks]

my life is a huge mess and i’m so lonely and touch starved and so so depressed but i have weed so it’s all good 😁 no i am not crying my eyes out right now i’m perfectly fine!!!!!

[klauste]

and my next appointment isn't until may 1st.... i just want to get it over and done with go speak to my gp have her validate me and go jesus throw some meds my way and i can peace out

[flatoatchi]

i cannot catch a fucking break with these meds

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.