#i have a lot of feelings about country music

[inlovewithpandora]

ᥫ᭡ — Just a Pogue

Artists — Rafe Cameron x fem!pogue!reader

Lyrics — Hearing Rafe belittle you to his friends and down play the bond you share leads you to your breaking point.

Music Advisory — Oneshot; all angst, hurt w/ no comfort, slight cursing, based heavily on scene(s) from season four

Duration — 1.7k

Words from Artist — This was a quick and fun fic to write for Rafe! It’s been a while since I wrote an angsty fic so I’m glad to have my toes in the water again, especially for Rafe because he pairs so good with angst! If you have any requests you want to see with Rafe please feel free to send them to my ask box! As always feel free to comment and reblog, I love reading y’all reactions! I hope you enjoy!!

Current Platforms — main m.list・obx taglist・navigation

When Rafe sent you a text to meet him at the Country Club you were excited, hoping that since he’s asking you to come hang out with him and his friends that he’s finally ready to acknowledge what’s happening between you two. Your relationship has been without a label for a while now, sharing moments that are intimate, intense, and real, making you feel like there’s a true connection with Rafe and that he’ll be officially asking you to be his girlfriend soon.

As you walk from the patio to the inside of the club you see Rafe, Topper, and his girlfriend Ruthie. When you’re about to approach, you pause when you hear your name brought up in their conversation, making curiosity strike you and wonder what they're talking about so you move out of their line of sight but stay close enough so you can hear. “I’m surprised y/n’s your girlfriend.” Ruthie twirls the straw in her drink while looking over at Topper with a slight smirk on her face, purposefully testing the waters to see how Rafe will react. “I mean she’s pretty pogue, isn’t she?”

Rafe scoffs and rolls his eyes as if he finds this whole topic exhausting to talk about. “Listen,” he says with a blank face while shrugging his shoulders and lifting his glass closer to his lips, “just because we hook up doesn’t mean she’s my girlfriend, okay?” He mutters out before glancing around and taking a sip of his drink, clearly uncomfortable with the spotlight on his relationship with you— if you would even call it that. Mentioning your social class and insinuating that you’re his girlfriend makes Rafe feel insecure, especially since in the past he’s always expressed his strong dislike for pogues.

“Right… I’m just saying you sure are together a lot. Wait, has she moved in yet?”

“I’m not living with a pogue, I have standards.” Rafe felt the need to defend himself against this line of questioning and make it known that you’re strictly just a hookup for him, that there isn’t any type of love in his heart for you because you’re a pogue and he just can’t be with someone who’s living in the cut.

The sting of Rafe’s words hits you like a punch in the gut, unraveling every bit of hope you’d been holding onto. You feel knots in your stomach, your heart pounding as you back away, each cruel word echoing in your mind. To him, you’re just a fling—a fun thing he can call up whenever he wants, never someone he’d actually take seriously. All those moments, those stolen kisses and soft words you’d shared, they’d only been games to him. You thought that Rafe finally changed, that his views weren’t so surface level when it came to being a kook or a pogue but it’s clear that he only made you believe those things so he could get in your pants.

You turn and walk back toward your car, your mind reeling as you begin to feel stupid for allowing Rafe into your heart, trusting him with your body, only to find out he never truly cared about you as he claimed. You feel like you were lied to, knowing he feed you with words he knows you wanted to hear and would cling to just so he can get what he wanted out of you.

Over the next few days, Rafe tries to reach out to you, sending you numerous texts and calling your phone more times that you can count, causing each attempt to reignite the anger and pain you feel. He doesn’t know that you overheard his conversation with Ruthie and Topper, but you still ignore all his attempts to get in contact with you and you eventually block him, wanting him out of your life after what hearing what he said.

While you're home trying to take your mind off the whole situation you hear someone banging on your door, making you roll your eyes because whoever it is can’t be that determined to talk to you. When you open the door you see Rafe standing outside, looking at you with a look of confusion and underlying frustration. He doesn’t enjoy being ignored and he doesn’t understand why you’re being weird to him all of a sudden so he decided to pop up at your house and confront you. “Why the hell have you been ghosting me?”

You shake your head, trying to hold back the anger that flares inside you just from the sight of him. “Rafe, please leave me alone, okay? I blocked you for a reason, I don’t wanna talk to you.”

You try to shut the door, not wanting to continue a conversation with him but Rafe’s hand shoots out, stopping it from closing because he wants a more in depth explanation on why you’ve been ignoring him instead of the ‘half-assed’ one you just gave. He stares at you with narrowed eyes, clearly not used to being brushed off by you because since you started talking their hasn’t been a day where you deliberately ignored him. “What’s goin’ on with you? Did I do something?”

A bitter laugh leaves your lips before you allow the anger you feel to rise to the surface and let Rafe know exactly why you’ve been ignoring him. “Yeah, you did. Maybe it has something to do with you telling your friends I’m just a ‘hookup’ and that you’d never live with a pogue since you have so called ‘standards’.”

He blinks feeling thrown off, not seeing the connection in the meaning of your words and where they stem from. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I heard you at the club, Rafe!” You snap at him, the hurt you’ve been feeling over the past few days spilling over. “I heard you tell them that I’m just some Pogue you’re hooking up with, that I’m not your girlfriend, and that you’d never actually be with someone like me. Like I’m nothing!”

Rafe opens his mouth, struggling to find the right words, but you’re not interested in hearing whatever excuse he’s about to make because you know it’ll just be a lie. “I thought you were different, Rafe. I thought you actually saw me as more than that. But you just needed me to feel good about yourself for a while, right? You just liked having me around when you wanted a good fuck.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he protests, his voice pleading now. “I was just trying to… I don’t know, keep them off my back. They wouldn’t get it.”

You scoff while pinching the bridge of your nose, feeling a fresh wave of aggravation as you realize he really doesn’t get it. “And that’s the problem, Rafe. If you can’t respect me around your friends—if you’re embarrassed of what we have—then you never actually cared.”

He reaches out, trying to grab your hand, but you pull back and take a step away, not wanting to feel his touch after knowing his true feelings about you. “You made me feel like we had something,” you whisper, feeling the sting of tears but refusing to let them fall in front of him. “That we could be an actual couple but you played in my face, Rafe. You told me that you didn’t care that I was a pogue, that you wanted me with you but clearly it was bullshit.”

Rafe’s face shifts from guilt to desperation as he steps closer, his voice softening as he tries to clean up the mess he’s made. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was an fuckin’ idiot, and I shouldn’t have said that. I thought if I downplayed it, I could keep my friends from giving me shit about us.”

“So, you downplay me? Make me sound like I’m nothing to you just to avoid a little judgment? Do you fuckin’ hear yourself, Rafe? You didn’t just protect yourself—you tore me down in front of your friends.”

He looks away, clearly frustrated that his stupid words messed up things between the two of you but he pushes on, wanting to try and make things right. “I get it, okay? I messed up, but it doesn’t change how I feel. It’s just… complicated. You know I care about you.”

You scoff, feeling the weight of his words crushing you all over again. “Complicated? No, Rafe. It’s not complicated—it’s simple. You don’t respect me and you don’t care about me. You never did. And now you want to apologize and act like it’ll erase what you said and make everything better?” Rafe’s face twists with guilt, but his silence only fuels your anger. Every hurtful word he spoke replays in your mind, solidifying your resolve. “Too late, Rafe. You’ve already ruined it.”

He can tell that he’s losing you, that you’re emotionally pulling away from him so he starts pleading with you, not wanting to lose you. “I didn’t mean it. I’ll fix it. Just give me another chance—please.”

“No. You can’t fix it. It’s already done. You’ve made it clear who you are and how you feel about me. I’m not sticking around for whatever mess you’ve got going on in your head just so you can fuck me over again.”

His face falls, his frustration turning into panic. “Please, just let me explain—”

“I don’t want to hear anymore, Rafe.” You feel a finality in your mind and a final piece of your heart closing off, deciding not to fall into the trap of Rafe’s words again, knowing that if you do you’ll only hurt your future self when he fucks up again. “I’m not waiting around for you to figure your shit out. I’m done.”

When Rafe is face to face with the door he stands in place frozen, while his heart is hammering inside his chest. The sharp echo of the door slamming reverberates in his ears, a bitter reminder of how badly he’s screwed things up. For a moment, he’s too stunned to move, his mind reeling from the weight of your words and the way you just ended what you had with him.

A deep frustration churns inside him, mingled with guilt and regret. He never thought it would get to this point. He didn’t expect you to shut him out so completely. He knows that he hurt you, but hearing the door slam was like a slap to the face, a loud confirmation that he had lost you. Rafe knows, deep down, that he’s crossed a line he can’t uncross, that it’ll be hard for you to forgive him when the things he said were so harsh.

The realization that his actions have pushed you too far away hits him hard. His chest tightens as the panic sets in, his mind racing with how to fix things, ways of how to make you forgive him, but nothing comes to him. The words “I’m sorry” feel hollow, like a cheap way out. He’s played this game before, but now it feels different. You’re different.

He steps back slowly and walks to his car with his head hanging down, looking back at the door with a mixture of frustration and sorrow. He never meant to hurt you, to make you feel less than but the damage is already done. And now, with you shutting him out, he has no idea if he can ever make things right, if he can ever win his sweet pogue back.

Fanbase — @ietss @shimmeringana @ims1 @anything4yooongi @genesis-p4l-love @oatmealisweird @ilovechickfilasauce @brooklynadoresdior @jordscosplay @taylormarieee @rivivie @shadyshadyy @m-mally @jj-maybank944 @bakugouswaif @princessadaniii8

[hms-no-fun]

Oh yeah the big pickups to work in an office job infuriate me to no end. A whole parking lot full of death machines that have never known the touch of a gravel road or hauled anything larger than a big Costco run. I have a nice lil electric hatchback tho.

the thing is, i always wanted a car. my parents took me on a lot of road trips when i was growing up (i remember a couple years before he died, my dad told me he was very proud to have shown me so much of the country when he himself had grown up poor and could only travel as far as the next job took him), so of course i have in me that quintessential American longing for The Road. in high school, i fantasized about getting into a car and disappearing into traffic, traveling to some distant corner where nobody lived and finding a situation to occupy. god help me, as a teen i bemoaned being born too late and longed for the naive vision of the 60s i'd received from my parents and pop culture and the rusted-over kitsch that dotted the remains of Route 66 (which my dad loved to talk about).

i hate car culture in part because i used to love car culture. it's a microcosm of indoctrinated American patriotism in general. they sell you on the dream, right? the freedom of travel, of expression. i wanted to be the millennial Jack Kerouac, whose work i did not actually read because i was young and dumb and drowning in dysphoria. but as i got older i saw how quickly little bumps and scratches can turn into massive financial burdens, to say nothing of cracked windshields or flat tires. then my mom died and i was given the responsibility of handling her car, a silver scion xb. i was 19, i did not have a license and had next to zero experience driving, nor had i ever had a job before. when i say "given the responsibility to handle her car" instead of "given her car," i mean that i didn't just get her car. like, i had it, i had the keys and no one was around to tell me not to drive it. but in order to get the title signed over to me, i had to go through an insane bureaucratic process of proving that my mom was dead, and that i was her kid, and that i should have the title to the car. this took months of back and forth miscommunication as dated notices were sent and bills piled up. because it wasn't just the car i got, but the debt as well. some $30,000 of it left unpaid by mom, which i was now expected to pay in her stead. my first job was working night shifts at a wal mart stocking the frozen food department, and that was the job where i rode my bike on the highway to get to work. i didn't drive because i didn't have a license, didn't have experience, was terrified of highway drivers, and knew very distinctly that if anything went wrong i'd instantly be in so much more debt (monetary and bureaucratic) than i already was. eventually my sister, a career nurse with three kids and a house, took over the car from me.

nobody understood why i didn't drive that car more. even my mom, when she was still alive, she said "when i was your age, i was dying to get out of the house." i was too! but for all that cars culturally represented freedom, in practice what they came to represent to me was the expected cost of participating in society. i was already sensitive to adults sneering at me for my perceived immaturity (the joys of being a millennial), which only compounded on learning that i didn't have a car or license, that i wasn't proactively joining Clubs or Organizations, that i wanted to pursue the arts of all things, that i wasn't Christian, etc etc etc. i never got out to see live music because i didn't have a car and didn't have money. i didn't get my first smart phone until late 2015. i spent a lot of my college years feeling alienated because i was at least two years older than everyone else (i already didn't want to go to college straight out of high school even before my mom died), still used a flip phone, and didn't have a car. which is to say i was a working class person trying to get by in a middle class institution. and i only got in because i was very good at peddling my sob story for sympathy points. FAFSA loves to finance the odd tragedy, i'm telling you (don't worry, i still had to take on a ton of student loan debt). when i expressed to family that i didn't want a car because i didn't feel safe as a driver, and felt that i shouldn't need to have a car in order to participate in society, they said "everyone feels that way at first, but you just have to get over it. or move to a big city. good luck affording that!" as a related aside, when i told those same people that i liked being in college for the pursuit of knowledge and wanted to graduate towards being a sort of generalist, they flatly insisted that that's not how college works anymore, and that i should instead put my energies towards a Useful Degree that would Get Me A Good Job.

of course they were sympathetic, at least on the surface. they told me these things in a kind tone, the way adults always do when what they're saying boils down to "it's not fair, but life ain't fair." and i've just never been able to accept that. before i knew anything about socialism or communism or materialist dialectics, when i was still very much under the thrall of post-Clinton liberalism, i still felt this deep-rooted conviction that when people said "life isn't fair," they were giving up something. that it was an excuse, an appeal to a higher power, a resignation to the status quo. my experience with cars, by the time i hit 25, was that you bought them for the freedom they promised, and then spent of your life driving that car between one of maybe five locations on the regular and doing very little else. the only time i ever felt free in a car was on a road trip, which happened with vanishing irregularity as all the associated costs skyrocketed in the 2000s. all the other time was spent driving in circles looking for parking, only to balk at how expensive it was. spent stuck in traffic for hours, amid concrete dunes of overpasses tangled with one another like a four-year-old's first try at tying their own shoes. spent angrily judging the poor driving conduct of other people, spent resenting anyone and everyone who inconvenienced their drive, spent rubbernecking at horrific accidents on the side of the road, spent worrying about car payments and insurance payments and how much it's gonna cost to get a tune-up, and then someone breaks in and steals all your stuff and your insurance doesn't want to pay for it, and then you get into an accident and you spend months haggling with your insurance and their insurance in the hopes that someone will maybe pay for the debt you've had to take on in getting your car repaired, because of course professional life doesn't take a break just because your mode of transportation got totaled.

and if i was applying for a job and the employer found out i didn't have a car, i was denied on the spot. i learned very quickly to lie about such things as often as possible. but i also learned that i could only bluff for so long before the lack of a car became a genuinely insurmountable hurdle. which fucked me up tremendously because at no point in my adult life, to this day, can i ever imagine being able to afford all the associated costs of having a car. in many respects, not having a car was the only reason i was able to survive the way i did. it meant i could work part-time while i was in school (with student loans making up the shortfall), share an apartment with two or three or four other people, and just barely have enough to eat the bare minimum and go see a movie sometimes. of course i wanted the freedom all my car-owning friends had, but mostly i wanted it so i could drive out into the middle of nowhere at night and be truly alone. i wanted a car so that i could escape from the frictional sandpaper bureaucracy of american existence... and i knew from experience by then that that's simply not how the world works.

it took me until 2020 to finally move to seattle, one of those mythical Big Cities with Actually Existing Public Transit. and holy shit, it's a revelation! i have better access the place where i live now than i ever have, and it's a freedom that costs SO MUCH LESS than the same would've cost me back home. but i've also lived here long enough now to see all the ways in which our transit system here is deeply flawed and run by the wrong people. i see many of the same forces at play here as i did back home. i see now how car owners and allies to the car dealership fiefdoms of the nation utilize car ownership and road maintenance as a tremendous lever of power. they've deliberately trapped us in this cycle of poverty and personal transportation reliance, and used the money they got from us buying their cars to then buy politicians so that they defund public transit and oppose any urbanist reforms. did you know that much of america used to be covered by street cars and rail lines? if you live in the midwest or on the west coast, your town very likely only exists the way it does because of mass public transit. they were necessary for bringing people into these remote places to create new markets for wealth extraction. once the population in those places was stable, and mass-produced personal vehicles became the norm, the capitalists of those areas deliberately allowed the transit networks to "go bankrupt" (ie they pretended transit is a business and not a utility that pretty much by definition can't turn a profit in a traditional manner) so they could be bought up and liquidated by future car dealers. this is what i think of when i remember my family telling me "that's just not the way the world works."

why? it used to be the way the world worked. why can't it be again? if the current status quo is the result of choices that created economic pressures which shaped the nature of society, why can't we do the same thing again but different? the way things are now is sick. it's unhealthy. the vast majority of microplastics come from car rubber, and what socioeconomic classes do you think are mostly likely to live close to high-traffic roads? it's not rich people, i'll tell you that. it's not the car dealers or the small city councils worried that a bus connection might bring the poors in. when i say "car owners need to be oppressed" i'm talking about these people. suburban supremacist dictators and their sycophantic liege lords whose biggest priorities in life are to keep gas prices low and to maintain their god-given right to never having to see a poor person. i hate these people because i've been sneered at by them my whole life, while they have been personally responsible for many of the same socioeconomic conditions which resulted in the deaths of both my parents, along with many other members of my extended family. i've long since stopped believing in the idea of "death by natural causes." only the rich live long enough to die old. the rest of us die by a thousand cuts borne of neglect. our healthcare is gatekept, our education is gatekept, our transportation is gatekept. freedom is a thing to be bought, and when you don't have money, the next best thing is your blood. you give it up for a piece of something and you convince yourself that it's enough for you. but it is only a piece, and its apportionment is the result of greed and avarice happening in broad daylight all around us. i fully believe that a genuine war will need to be waged against the car barons before this horrendous now can be toppled, and it will be a war because they are aligned with the cops and with capital. this, too, is a microcosm, and in it we see the nature of our struggle for socialism unburdened by neoliberal word salad.

people have made the world this way. and people will make it something else.

[staticvoidzz]

Ok, uhh here’s a small deep dive into a silly headcanons and I’ll spilt it to make it more organized

HAZEL

Hazel, from the beginning has been shown to have a huge admiration for her older brother, Antony. It’s her driving motivation as a character in the first few episodes. Not to mention she sounded rather blue when she mentioned that she moved ACROSS THE COUNTRY from Antony and he can’t really visit since he’s a college student. Hazel, from the start loved her older brother, when she ever got upset about being alone in a completely new area, she keeps on telling herself that Antony visiting her will make it all worth it. Then Antony couldn’t visit do to a massive storm and he’s not able to catch up until the holiday break, which was months from now, this obviously makes Hazel very upset and she tries to hide it by being “mature”, Hazel immediately decided to run away to visit Antony herself, because she feels seen by her brothers presence, she feels comfortable and confident with him.

And yes, her parents also keep her company, they also unintentionally ignore her wants and needs to the point where Hazel sees Antony as her “parental figure” Hazels need to see Antony got so strong, it triggered Cosmo and Wanda’s powers, fairies who were in retirement at the moment, Hazel wish turned her into a literal fly and she just flies away, not even knowing where the airport is. Cosmo and Wanda chased her and tried to convince her that they could help her, but it wasn’t until Hazel was about to die in a gifted Venus fly trap, she had a conversation with a ant, who spend lots of time away from her ant colony, after that, Hazel was convinced that Her brother can do things on her own, as she can to. Hazel then becomes a human and a Godchild to Cosmo and Wanda, and she decides to take a day one step at a time….but stuff like this just doesn’t disappear, does it? Hazels made a new friend, Jasmine,

One day, Hazel suggested to Jasmine that they watch scary movies, because that’s what her and Antony did, But when Jasmines resented the idea, due to her dislike of horror, Hazel made the wish to make her fearless, which actually got her fears out and they are now there own beings, So, now Hazel has to right her wrong by making Jasmine face her own fears. Then, Jasmine got possessed by the consumption of fear, and it taunted Hazel, pointing out the obvious “manipulation” and the way “Hazel used Jasmine for her own needs.” Digging into her fears, which is “Afraid of Starting something New, so you try to repeat the past.” Hazel, was finally to face her own fear with support and she recognized her mistakes, and suggested they do something else they would both find fun. Eventually, Winn, The cool skateboarder kid, Joined in on Hazels and Jasmines friendship, becoming a friendship trio.

Some, time later, They all decided to take a quiz and when they scored a zero, Hazel went into a spiral and just assumed that Winn and Jasmine don’t know her well enough and secretly hate her, so Into her mind we go! It was all good,until she got into her embarrassing secrets, she tried to hide it, but that caused her to let her mind worm loose, which fed off her negative thoughts. Her deepest conflict is that her friends aren’t actually her friends and that they don’t care about her, it’s not until Hazel remembered what her mom said about not letting negativity control her, she’s eventually able to control it and get back with her friends. In a similar situation,

Hazel went into crisis about which class she should sign up for, Band or Orchestra. Since Winn and Jasmine are on both sides and that they are enemies, so Basically if Hazel decides one thing, she’s silently saying “I don’t like you and I prefer this.” And Hazel obviously doesn’t want that, so she gets musical talent and a clone of herself to make Jasmine and Winn happy, but it’s no use, they still fight and Hazel accidentally took away music, which is bad—because they can’t perform. So, Hazel decided to come up with a plan with the help from the help of the Nmusic Fairy, in which music was temporarily restored in order for Hazel to prove that she can get the band and orchestra kids together as one,

and she succeed as being their conductor of sorts, after the show, backstage, Hazel asked her parents if they sent the video to Antony (because he was going to see it via video) But Antony already showed up and watch the show live, he appears with roses and happy to see Hazel. Hazel was estatic, immediately jumping onto his arms and on the verge of tears, she was so happy to see her brother after so long. She even used to rule free wish so that her friends (family included) will remember fairies.

Hazels inner conflict are letting something go and the fear of losing something she care. She doesn’t want to lose anything again, but she has a good support system with Her mother, Cosmo and Wanda, Antony and Herself. She’s able to maturely handle the situation after she messed things up, because of that support system.

(Ok I was going to add Dev, but I’ve been typing for over an hour straight And my fingers are starting to hurt. I have a lot to say about Dev as a character regarding this head canon, but I hope for now, this’ll do. I’m still pretty new to analyzing, so I hope I did a good job :3)

Another HeadCanon (That’s Kinda a Projection but Shh)

Both Dev and Hazel have attachment issues, I’ll probably go on a deeper dive if I feel like it

[onlyfangz]

why are all of my based on your likes! posts speculating about famous lesbians not really being lesbians? i checked my likes, theres nothing in there. you all need to stop being fucking weird about lesbians tho. especially lesbians who have dated/fucked men in the past. you look like a toddler with your gold stars.

[bnnuy-wabbit]

this entire Music Taste debate thing re:rap is getting annoying really fast. Im not USian enough for this.

[sluttyten]

yall I want TDS3 tickets so badly 😭 but I don't know who to even go with and I'm not going by myself.... but I'm also seriously thinking I'm just gonna go ahead and try to get tickets on friday anyway

[bandzboy]

i will say this tho… the reason why most kpop groups don’t come to europe is because in comparison to maybe the usa, the market for kpop music there is better than in europe and also since companies nowadays are obsessed with making groups international (promoting them in the us basically) they know it’s easy money over there honestly that’s what i think

[danidoesathing]

one of the things I love about Vide Noir is how both the album and the movie uses Buck, an already established character from the previous album, as the protagonist to recontextualize a lot of songs from both Vide Noir and Strange Trails

like the movie puts his Strange Trails songs into perspective. Fool for Love is Buck using music to talk about (and almost mock himself for) what happened during the Vide Noir movie. Louisa is about Lee, but it also calls into question when exactly Buck wrote the song and whether or not it was before Lee actually left him and whether or not that has anything to do with the name change. Dead Man's Hand is given even more depth because we actually saw the story play out, and that the lyrics show more how Buck actually sees Johnnie and their encounter instead of what actually happened. Cursed could be seen a lot of different ways, the most likely one being how he felt throughout the movie committing various crimes and immoral actions all in the name of "love" (or maybe he hooks up with a witch later on or something, who knows with that guy)

but then there's the songs in the Vide Noir album. A lot of the songs that are credited to in-universe musicians/bands have a certain style to them (ie Frankie's songs are slow and almost mournful with an emphasis on ghosts, the Phantom Riders' songs tend to be more of the rockabilly genre and ben schneider uses a lower tone of voice for the lead singer, etc etc). Buck is credited as a country musician who tends to use an acoustic guitar, and his Strange Trails songs tend to reflect that. But while he is the primary narrator, the only song in the Vide Noir album that really reflects his style (and him as a person) is the first one, Lost in Time in Space, when Buck wakes up in the forest with no memory after getting black-brained. The rest of the album is very different in style as he recalls the prior events, and while there is still a lot of acoustic guitar in the songs it's, and I quote "usually, it’s distorted and blown to shit." A lot of the music is distorted in some sense, which. given the whole "obliteration of the self" that Vide Noir is stated to cause, likely symbolizes Buck slowly losing himself in his pursuit to find Lee. his last moment before he loses his identity as a person is, ironically, the moments where he can't even remember who he is. The only other song I could argue in the album that's vaguely similar to his style is Emerald Star, which is still very distorted and more or less "falls apart" in the end. He may have held on to some of himself but he's too far gone and too different from who he used to be for it to be anything recognizable. He had given up everything to find her, in his own sense of self, and it was all for nothing. damn.

I also would like to bring up the odd emphasis on death throughout his music. More specifically, Fool for Love being a metaphor for his journey in Vide Noir work almost perfectly except for the ending. Buck doesn't die at the end of Vide Noir (shot both in the leg and in the heart, but alive nonetheless), even if Emerald Star and Fool for Love implies otherwise. But I don't think he means it in the literal sense.

[artemismatchalatte]

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @burningvelvet. Thank you for inviting me to the tag game! :)

Relationship Status: Currently single and I'm working on trying to build up my life so I can date.

Favorite Color: To wear is red though I also really like purple. I have more purple accessories but I wear most colors. I have many colorful outfits.

Song Stuck In My Head: Love by Lana Del Rey but there are others that can play on command in my head if I hear the title/the band.

ABBA, Meg & Dia, Emilie Autumn, Flyleaf, Avril Lavigne and Skillet are some artists that I have looping in my head often.

Last Song I Listened To: Cheater, Cheater by Joey and Rory (my spotify was on shuffle)

I like country probably more than people would expect but I am more of a pop/dance queen though. I have made Eurovision playlists in the past.

Three Favorite Foods: Pears, Potatoes (in many forms), and Greek salads or wraps. But I love most food in general. I'm not a super picky eater. I like to cook and make baked goods. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

Last Thing(s) I Googled: Pharmacy hours because I had to pick up more medication.

I also looked up an actor's age because my sister and I were trying to figure out how old he was (she was right or close- I thought he was younger- he's on one of my mom's shows). I'm usually the go to googler for my family, especially when they ask about actors or actresses in movies and tv shows we watch.

Links to my college's website, goodreads, storygraph, youtube and list challenges. I'm making more reading lists on list challenges (again).

Sorry it's nothing too interesting lately. My YouTube searches are probably more interesting but only marginally so. I'm not at school or working on any research projects currently so my searches are very basic right now.

Dream Trip: Japan. I'd like to go with close friends and/or family members though since it would be a big deal to go that far. I've been following a japan travel vlog by a woman who lives there. She shows all kinds of cafes and other fun places to go. You can watch/follow her vlog here: https://www.youtube.com/@its_time_to_travel

I'd love to be able to go to some of the places she's featured on her blog. It would be the trip of a lifetime! I'd be sure to try to learn some Japanese first too since I'm visiting their country and that seems polite to do. I know a few random words but can't read or write anything or even hold a conversation.

If I can't go to Japan, I'd love to go back to either Germany or England, but to the parts I didn't visit since there are tons of places in both those countries I've never been too. I really want to go to Haworth (The Bronte Sister's hometown), since I'm a Bronte fan and I've focused some of my grad studies on their works.

This is a tag post so I'm tagging:

@paperbackpropensity, @thatwritererinoriordan, @oh2e, @yeahwellshithappens, @autumnbell32, @writingf3, @windermerepoets13, @melusinah, @girlonedge and whoever else wants to do this! :)

[readymades2002]

something difficult about writing/storytelling but only in short disconnected bursts is that writing anything longform is very difficult. there isn't as much time to practice long-term character development or subtlety (implying character instead of immediately clarifying) when its not really meant to go anywhere but a notes app. its a little frustrating...i'd love to do something more longform though. i've considered maybe just doing some short writing scenes in my various original universes a lot recently mostly because i just havent had time to draw anything fancy recently </3 maybe that would be something...

[vogelmeister]

thinking about the australian cultural cringe on this sunny sunday hbu

[peapod20001]

Talk About The Band

Heheheogo ok so their fuckin thrown together high school band doesn’t have a name still rip BUT they DID play together and they CAN still play

My only music knowledge is thru google searches but pretty much Blondee is lead guitar and vocals , August was the rhythm guitar and vocals (him and Blondee can switch sometimes (also he’s the rich kid that had lots of intruments he’d play)) , Goose did bass guitar occasionally but usually he’d play dumb shit like the cowbell , Max was the drummer exclusively (not a singer, more of a yeller) , Ozzie did the set up for things cus the others are lowkey stupid (he would sing SOMETIMES and he can play the others instruments if needed (also unrelated to the band but he played violin)) , and Dahlia was a singer (and also played dumb shit with Goose)

They ALL still play, but it’s more of a hobby than a lifestyle

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I’ll listen to music that’s new to me but in genres I like and I’m like “this is so normal though” when talking about it but then I hear common pop like Taylor swift or something and I’m like “oh. This is definitely a different genre actually”

[bisexualgerardway]

we start the conversation about racism in bandom again i am forced to remember that my faves do not expect me to consume their content do not make their content with people like me in mind and often do not care about nonwhite experiences enough to try and make space for me and us within their content and sphere. the art will and can never lose the importance it has to me but it is sometimes a little devastating to remember how unvalued unwanted nonwhite people are in bandom spaces like. still.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I'm getting emotional over "In a Big Country" again, only it's different this time because I've just heard it (and appreciated it) musically in a way I never have before, and can I just say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS SONG IS MORE OF A GEM THAN ANYONE CAN IMAGINE

Also, with this video and MANY PERFORMANCES LIKE IT BEFORE AND THEREAFTER, when Tony goes over to play merrily beside Bruce - I think that has a whole lot more meaning than anyone has ever cared to notice, and I think (rather than speculating) it has as much to do with the song musically at that part as it does lyrically and what that symbolizes (as in, why Tony always chooses that almost exact moment to go over to Bruce specifically and join him physically as he plays that part). ...and what it has to do with it musically I cannot say just yet, because it might turn into a full-blown analysis and therefore I wouldn't want to spoil it. LOL

[eggmeralda]

okay music question (feel free to still answer if you don't do all 3 of these): what style of music do you listen to most + what style do you enjoy seeing live + what style do you prefer to play, and are they all different or do they overlap?