#i have 2 saxs technically

[synthshenanigans]

OMG YOURE IN BAND??? WHAT SO YOU PLA. Y

OH well its not like a BAND band [tho i wish i could]. Instead its marching band lol. Ive already graduated from high school so im just helping my sister since its her last year in band/high school.

BUUT I played the Alto Saxophone! Also did Trumpet & Mellophone for a bit. Now though usually play piano/keyboard at home. [Not amazing at it but I can play all of The Mind Electric & Battle Against a True Hero!]

[oshygoshy]

what instruments hq characters would play in a regular concert band setting (coming from an unbiased! fair! reasonable! flute player)

word count - 1,728 words

warnings - none besides band kid energy :( also no proofread

a/n - in honor of marching season starting again. thank god i'm never doing that again, but hopefully i can nail my upcoming audition!! i am NOT open to discussion and critiques btw my word is absolute law. (lol just jokes and if you have any suggestions to add pls let me know i will happily add them in)

picc/flute - usually the best behaved kids (force of habit bc they sit next to the conductor so they have to be on their best behavior). for the most part pretty nice, but they definitely are the biggest gossipers...WILL talk abt anything and everything. from the weather to the crazy ex that your stand partner blocked but can't shut up abt. there's always someone in the section who just has everything in their bag - gum (which we can't even chew in band??), hand sanitizer, vaseline, aquaphor, lotion, etc. definitely the most blind and deaf group bc of how out of tune we always are, and how many ledger lines are in the music. usually chill for the most part, but there's always That One Player that is way to snotty and stuck up abt band like bro chill out u don't need to be so competitive. chaotic good. 

SUGA and is able to talk some mad shit and is highkey deaf (same) but is a wonderful role model for the younger section members. SUNAAA this mf is always on his phone in rehearsal and gets in trouble for it,  shirabu💀💀 takes chair auditions way too seriously and side eyes his stand partner too much 

clarinet - section that has the most amount of stereotypical "band kids" but honestly pretty nice. most of them are hard workers and studious? competition is pretty tough in such a huge section so they are kinda tryhards. not too introverted but not like super loud or anything. a really "in the middle" section i would say, and def one of the most diverse sections bc it has so many members in it. firsts definitely are  always on their a game in terms of music and academics, but the further back u go in rows, the more chatty and chaotic they get. neutral good. 

tsukki and yams omfg..tsukki is def clarinet 1 and yams clarinet 2 (but grinding so he can sit next to tsukki next year), maddog (ok doesn't really fit at all but i think it's hilarious imaging him as clarinet), yahaba (which does fit), kunimi, futakuchi (and those 4 whisper so much in the back), aran BUT i feel like he plays sax for jazz and prefers sax more, would play sax in concert too but competition is STIFF so just plays clarinet, kenma and he's in the back and super unassuming, always on his phone playing a game in between reps, komori and he's first clarinet and is perfect and the conductor loves him 

double reeds (bassoon, oboe, eng horn, i'm putting bari clarinet in here except i don't think it's technically a double reed) - SOOO KIND AND STUDIOUS AND PRETTY. everyone wants to be them or their friend. i've literally never had a band interaction with anyone from the double reed section. always appreciate any gossip, and since they're friends with so many ppl, they kinda know everyone's business but they keep it to themselves. also highkey cracked at their instruments for no reason like there is not that much competition in a regular band, they're just sexy like that. lawful good. 

asahi (bari clari) (also always underestimates how much air it takes to play contra and hates it), YACCHI (oboe), kiyoko (bassoon, sits next to yacchi and they're constantly exchanging gossip with each other in between reps), akaashi (bassoon, literally in the center of band and everyone can look at him and get a crush) 

saxes (soprano [does anyone even like playing the metal clarinet let's be fr], alto, tenor, bari) - ok if you're good at the sax you're INSANELY. GOOD. it's so competitive bc there's so few spots in a concert band setting so if you want to get a high chair placement u gotta grind ur ass off. definitely some of the biggest try hards in the band, even moreso than the clarinets, and also academically they're like always in all advanced classes and shit for no reason. lowkey kind of cocky and full of themselves but u kinda let it slide bc they're so insanely good it's kinda warranted yk? pretty introverted and keep to themselves, but never exclude anyone. lowkey has the most rizz out of all the sections, but they don't try to be charismatic they just kinda are and everyone kinda hates them for it. lawful neutral. 

kuroo...he gives such alto vibes sorry for the slander. i feel like yaku too bc they're constantly competing with each other? maybe bari? lol the instrument is like as big as him. kai is the chill tenor in between them that try's to break up verbal fights before the conductor notices, DAISHOU him and kuroo has been competing for first chair since 5th grade

trumpet - convinced they're the main character (they have repeating staccato 8th notes) like PLS lower ur volume. kinda cocky but this time it isn't warranted bc they're not as good as the saxes. firsts are CONSTANTLY trying to see who can go higher during warmups and it pisses everyone else off but we all reluctantly tolerate their presence...bc when they DO have the melody they kinda slay (albeit a bit sharp). pretty extroverted and nice with such enjoyable energy like u kinda can't help but become friends with at least some of them. when the rest of the concert band first saw the jazz band play, everyone kind of got a small crush on the lead trumpet player bc he was that good (hahah not me nooo never aha). neutral chaotic. 

hinata...except this time he is the main character. inuoka, miya atsumu, oikawa!! technically he should be in the next section with kags, but oikawa fits trump jazz lead too much (also never made all state...sorry not sorry), mattsun and hanamaki and they're the biggest chatters (the conductor hates them), BOKUTO he's so loud but we all love him, hoshiumi

french horn - the It Girl of the band. horn is one of if not the hardest wind instruments to learn. a sharp learning curve fs, but a good horn player is GOOD. insanely freaking good. and also critical in any concert setting and has such a beautiful sound when played correctly. when not played well though...since there's so few horns already in a band, it's really hard to let others in ur section carry you. so if you're not good...everyone can kinda tell. thing is, saxophone is different bc there's so few chairs, but it's at least an easy instrument to play (hard to get good at tho) but horn is just hard period. get grinding or face the embarrassment. tbh kinda secluded, really only talked amongst themselves and the saxes bc they had similar parts and sat next to each other. i never once interacted with a horn player. neutral good.

kageyama (except he's good duh), sakusa (also very good), hirugami (he never looks happy whenever he gets solos tho and nobody knows why..?)

trombone - oh dear...ok i lied THEYRE the most band kid-ish of all the band kids, not the clarinets. pretty nice and funny, loud and never shut up like the trumpets and they get away with it bc they sit in the last row. not bad people at all, they just kinda act like ur younger siblings sometimes, not like kids in ur age range. not as charming as the trumpets, but instead have this childlike innocence to them so u just wanna pinch their cheeks or something. pitch is a huge issue, and anything rhythmically harder than like a couple 16ths and they can't tongue it clearly, but u applaud them for trying. chaotic chaotic. 

koganegawa, TANAKA AND NOYA AS STAND PARTNERS OMG they're constantly disturbing the rehearsals bc they laugh too loud, yamamoto, lev 

euph/tuba - technically 2 different instruments i know, but i'm running out of ideas and combined their section total is like 5 ok cut me some slack. actually so sweet and nice, they have no enemies like the double reeds, but this time they're like isolated in the back row :( so they kinda only talk with each other and sometimes the trombones. even tho they also sit in the back the most they do is whisper quietly amongst themselves, WHEN THE CONDUCTOR ISNT TALKING TO THEM. bless their hearts. theyre always in the background of every piece, and a regular audience member doesn't really notice them, but anyone who plays an instrument knows they're the most important part of the band. always the root of the chord, almost always keep the pulse with quarter or eighths, everyone tunes to the tuba. classic, standard, we love them. i fear one day they're going to absolutely snap and go crazy tho bc at the end of the day, they're still a brass player sitting all the way in the back, which is a lawless land. lawful chaotic. 

daichi, ushijima, kita, aone (it's just the unassuming defensive players lol), miya osamu!! always ready to fight his brother right before a concert

percussion - what...goes on back there? nobody's quite sure, except for them and the occasional trombone player sitting in front of them. they're constantly running around trying to get to their instruments in time, and they always make it somehow. always the tightest sections rhythmically, i swear they can sight read anything perfectly and have it performance ready by the 2nd day. friendly with everyone else, but they're lowkey like a cult bc they spend so much time together with drumline camp, band camp, etc. by far the crowd favorite during parades, pep rallies, etc. but they never let it go to their heads. always have matching section shirts and hats and whatnot on dress up days and it's so cute, but their hats are always crazy like giant squid plushies and ikea bucket hats and whatnot. neutral chaotic everyoje loves them for it.

tendou (he has the squid hat) (also nobody believes him when he says he doesn't know how to read rhythms but it's true, he highkey doesn't know how to subdivide and guesses everything but is always pretty accurate), iwa (he goes shirtless in band camp and everyone is audibly drooling), semi (on drumkit for jazz but also does concert to keep his rhythms sharp), ofc jack of all trades, master of none konoha since u have to play so many different instruments

[adobe-outdesign]

Nigel: The Muppets' Most Interesting Uninteresting Character

(This was supposed to be a fun little post about an obscure Muppet character but now I fell down a hole doing too much research and sunk cost fallacy won't let me live it down unless I include all of the useless information I've learned so enjoy knowing more about this character than you ever have or ever will want to know)

Nigel was created to be the host of the Muppet Show's Sex and Violence pilot instead of Kermit (who only appears in the pilot for like 30 seconds)

He was originally puppeteered by Jim Henson himself, giving him a vaguely Kermit-esq voice initially

Nigel Voice Count: 1

Nigel is a yellow... something. You’d assume he’s just a stylized human Muppet but in S4E18 Sam refers to him as a “thing”

He actually looks near-identical to a Fraggle minus the tail. I don’t know what to do with this information

Nigel was diagnosed with terminal Boring Personality disease due to the following attributes:

He’s very meek. Unlike Kermit, who will freak out and tell people they suck to their faces, Nigel raises his voice one (1) time and mostly relies on Sam the Eagle and Crazy Harry to deal with the assorted chaos

His face is flexible like Kermit’s, but he has permanently partially-lidded eyes that leave him looking exhausted in every scene he’s in

He’s generally unenthusiastic and seems like he wants to go home constantly

Jim Henson: The Works describes him as "lacking in spunk and charisma," which is hilariously cruel yet 100% accurate

What’s surprising at this point is that instead of scrapping him, he instead took on the role of orchestra conductor on the show proper, where he proceeds to do almost nothing for five seasons

The Muppets Character Encyclopedia actually provides a canon reason for this: Nigel lost the job of host due to his “shy manner”, and Kermit, feeling bad for replacing him, gave him his new job

He can technically be seen in basically every episode during the theme song, but aside from that, he often pops up in the chorus during songs

Which is funny when you consider he should be in the pit Doing His Job during those sequences

A quick list of his more important (if you can even call them that) appearances:

S1E2: He has Zoot play a song called “Sax and Violence” b/c pilot references

It’s actually implied the Mayhem falls under his jurisdiction as he threatens to fire Zoot, but this never comes up again

S1E24: Playing the part of a library patron noisily chewing gum (despite not having teeth. idk you figure it out). This one’s only notable because he’s wearing the same outfit from the pilot

S3E16: Nigel’s eyelids are not connected to the rest of his body and he’s facing backwards through the entire backstage segment so you’re uncomfortably aware of this

S1E23 has Floyd complaining that the theme song is cringe(TM), at which point it’s casually revealed that Nigel wrote it?? how is this character so important and unimportant at the exact same time

If you’ve seen this episode and aren’t deaf you might have noticed he has a completely different voice here. This is because John Lovelady has taken over as his puppeteer, presumably because Jim was busy Running The Entire Show

Nigel Voice Count: 2

Nigel has a talent for whistling, which is shown off in S2E18 during a performance with Floyd (this is the only time he comes on stage to perform that isn’t with a crowd)

He shows this off again in S4E18 to participate in the age-old sport of Annoying Sam the Eagle backstage

As of the 2011 movie Walter takes over as the show’s resident whistler because Nigel isn’t allowed to have character traits

He briefly shows up during the credits of The Muppet Movie (now puppeteered by Dave Goelz). Because of this, in the UK version of the end credits, he has another completely different voice

Nigel Voice Count: 3

After a brief background appearance in The Jim Henson Hour (S1E12), Nigel proceeded to completely disappear for 20 years

I’m guessing the reason was that his puppet was becoming unusable. The foam used for the muppets disintegrates over time, and his puppet was ~15 years old at this point

Things were particularly bleak for him in the 90s because Muppets Tonight came out with a new unrelated TV director character named... Nigel. Because Jim had passed away at this point and I think everyone working on the show literally Forgot they already had a character named that

Not that it would be that big of a problem, seeing as the chances of yellow Nigel returning were bleak. who was gonna spend time and money rebuilding an incredibly minor background character like him

TRICK QUESTION because he was rebuilt for The Muppets (2011), which is pretty amazing when you consider that he does Nothing during this movie

The new puppet looks pretty similar to the old one. I think the face is a bit rounder/more structured but I could also be losing my mind

(Side note: shoutout to whoever decided to give him a scarf in this scene. that’s such an unnecessary detail)

What’s great is that now that the puppet’s been rebuilt he’s shown up in a lot of stuff because they have no reason not to include him. Some of the more notable examples include:

The music video for OK Go’s cover of the theme song (which I certainly hope he would show up in I mean. it’s his song)

In the live shows (The Muppets Take the Bowl and The Muppets Take the O2) there’s a parade of overlooked characters, which includes Nigel. I just find it funny that:

A) The writers fully acknowledge that he’s King of the Background Characters

B) The in-universe implication that Kermit was like “no one knows who you are, wanna be in a parade celebrating that fact” and Nigel was like “okay”

His most recent appearance was in Muppets Haunted Mansion, where he’s dead (don’t worry about it). More importantly, he gets an entire shot to himself conducting some skulls, which I think is the first time the camera’s been focused solely on him in literally 40 years. Good job, buddy!

Here’s some other misc appearances that I couldn’t fit elsewhere:

He appears alongside Jim and a few other Muppets in a 1977 commercial for American Express (once again wearing his pilot outfit), which is particularly strange considering he’s the only character there that used to be puppeteered by Jim

In 2010 he got a somewhat important role in the first issue of Muppet Sherlock Holmes, playing the part of a butler suspected of poisoning the head of the house

He gets one whole page in The Muppets Character Encyclopedia from 2014 (right next to other Nigel). In addition to the aforementioned info bridging the gap between the pilot and the show proper, it also states that he’s susceptible to hypnosis and he trained at the Tommy Newsom Academy for Music and Charisma

In terms of future projects: there is both a Jim Henson biopic and documentary coming in the future (side note: why???), so it’s possible he might be discussed briefly in one of those

I have no thesis statement or reason for writing this, but I guess I’ll close out by saying that I find it fascinating that a failed main character from a pilot episode is still appearing in recent Muppet productions but solely as a background character. I hope that in 2073 I can put on some Muppet media and Nigel will still be there still doing absolutely nothing

thanks for coming to my TED talk

[randomvarious]

Today's mix:

99.2 by Timecode / Aquasky 1999 Drum n Bass

Man, I legitimately have no idea why some of these releases from UK dnb juggernaut label Moving Shadow's 'year-decimal' series are rated so poorly on Discogs. Usually when something has an average rating that's below 4 out of 5, it has noticeable flaws, but this sampler mix from MS head honcho Rob Playford—operating here under his DJ-mixing alias of Timecode—is an excellently steady clinic in fun, turn-of-the-millennium dnb bounciness. And the release that preceded this one, 99.1, which also has a sub-4 rating, is one of the greatest dnb mixes that I've ever heard in my life! So, like, what the hell is wrong with you people?!

And you couldn't beat this deal when this thing dropped, either. £1.99 for this disc, a bonus disc with an exclusive 20-plus minute mix of Omni Trio tunes done by the great trio of Aquasky, and CD-ROM freebies that included snippets of Aquasky remixes in WAV format, promotional videos for some Rockstar Games titles, and a playable demo of Grand Theft Auto 2 as well! They were practically giving this shit away for free!

So we've got a full, chugging, 65-minute workout here with a slate of bangers delivered by Moving Shadow's top talents: Dom & Roland, Calyx, E-Z Rollers, TeeBee, Aquasky, Omni Trio, Technical Itch, and more. But nothing here seems to hit as nicely as the moment when Playford transitions between E-Z Rollers' "RS2000" and 60 Minute Man's "Brand Nu Day." "Brand Nu Day" as a standalone track opens up with this terrific sax line, and to then hear it uniquely played alongside the fuzzy bass groove of "RS2000" just really unlocks something special 🥹.

So don't listen to all the haters and overlook this one. If you want a trip back to those lovely y2k days when music CDs also came with bonus CD-ROM content, this promo mix from Moving Shadow boss Rob Playford is terrific. And I dunno how long the GTA2 demo is on here, but I'm willing to bet that if you fired up the bonus CD in your PC, and then put the main one in your stereo, you were probably in for a good time, because the type of drum n bass that's on here really does feel like the perfect, adrenaline-fueled soundtrack for boosting some cars and wreaking havoc 😎.

Listen to CD1 here. Listen to CD2 here.

Highlights:

CD1:

Renegade - "Terrorist (Dom & Roland Remix)" Calyx - "Diablo" nCode - "Spasm" Kudos - "Boiling Point" E-Z Rollers - "Cops Don't Like Us" Tekniq - "Shark Food" Kudos - "In the Dark" E-Z Rollers - "RS 2000" 60 Minute Man - "Brand Nu Day" Calyx - "Fortune Cookie" Decoder & Substance - "Heat" TB & K - "Arctix" Aquasky - "Bodyshock (Aquasky Remix)" Omni Trio - "Byte Size Life (Shimon Remix)" Calyx - "Code Red" Dom & Roland - "Can't Punish Me" Technical Itch - "Generation" AK1200 & Danny Breaks - "Deep Porn (VIP Mix)"

CD2:

Aquasky - 25 Minute Exclusive Mix of Omni Trio Tracks

[asexual-spongebob]

wail the siren incorrect quotes. 😭

Keef: *about Zim and Dib* They make a cute couple, huh?  Skoodge: They certainly are standing next to each other.

Zim: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Dib!

Dib: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Dib: The stars are so beautiful...

Zim: They're just giant balls of gas.

Dib: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Zim: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Dib: Oh...

Keef: Why do you look like that?  Zim, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?  Keef: Like you’re dead.  Zim: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.  Skoodge: Zim accidentally called Dib “babe” in front of everyone today.  Zim: *sobs into the floor*

Keef: *sees Dib and Zim together*  Keef: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.  Skoodge: You mean... you ship them?

Gaz: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.  Tak: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.  Gaz: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??  Tak: Is it working?

Gaz: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.  Tak: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Tak: I’m in love with you.  Gaz: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.  Tak: I know.  Gaz: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Tak: Fight me!  Gaz: *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*  Gaz: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Tenn : Are you sure Keef’s going to be able to handle that IKEA furniture? They’re not very good with technical stuff…  Skoodge: Why are you worried? IKEA was never complicated; these days, it’s even easier! Everything’s color coded, numbered, and there’s even an assembly robot option to make it even easier for Keef, which we’ve obviously opted in for. All they need to do is press the clearly labeled ON button, scan the QR code on the front of the box, and it’ll take care of the rest. Even a monkey could do it!  *Skoodge’s phone rings*  Keef: Hey, so I’m at Lowes…  Tenn : …  Tenn : I should have gone with the monkey.

Zim: Dib kissed me!  Keef : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!  Zim: It was unbelievable!  Keef : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!  Skoodge : Okay, we wanna hear everything. Keef , get the wine and unplug the phone. Zim, does this end well or do we need tissues?  Zim: Oh, it ended very well.  Keef : Do not start without me! Do not start without me!  Skoodge : Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?  Zim: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.  Skoodge : Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?  Zim: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.  Keef and Skoodge: Ohhh.  *meanwhile*  Dib eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.  Tenn: Tongue?  Dib: Yeah.  Gaz : Cool.

Keef : What time is it?  Skoodge : I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out  Skoodge : *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*  Tenn: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING  Skoodge : It’s 2 am

Mimi: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.  Gir, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Zim, tending to Dib's wounds: How would you rate your pain?  Dib: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Dib: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Zim: You always act stupid.

Zim: Wait.

Zim: Goodnight to the love of my life, Dib, and fuck the rest of y'all.

Gaz about Dib: he’s going to go jump in the water and cry now.

[butterfrogmantis]

Got a little Harmkey Demon and Angel au hehe

Posted under the cut because of doodle 4 being mildly suggestive 

OK demon and angel au context time. I had a lot of fun with it jfdjkf

1 & 2: Introducing our main dudes! You know em, you love em and now they’re supernatural. Heavenly Smurfs making Jokey an angel was incorrect and we all know it /lh

3. They start to fight over Vanity’s soul (I was originally gonna do a gotcha plot w/ Somebody but wasn’t sure how to go with that so. Vanity limelight hours). Anyway Vanity’s neither interested in selling nor saving his soul rn, He thinks the two should probably kiss already.

4-  Vanity was (of course) right and Harmony and Jokey start a secret relationship. Tut tut. Lyrics are based on this cover

5- Regular Smooth is kind of a jerk but supernatural Smooth somehow manages to be even more of one. He discovers his cousin’s forbidden boyfriend and is gonna tell but here’s the thing. Smooth is also pretty bored of leading the angelic life, there’s no excitement in it. Sure he’s a great sax player on the choir but well … he sees an opportunity here. That opportunity being blackmail. Essentially he won’t tell on Harmony but in return he wants Jokey to date him instead. Jokey knows if Smooth rats them out Harmony will become a fallen angel which means being indebted to the higherup demons - and obviously at this point Jokey genuinely cares about him and doesn’t want that to happen but also … eck, no thanks, Smooth.

6- Smooth seems to be misunderstanding a fundamental concept about demons tbh. * Brainy voice * Smooth, Smooth, Smooth, you can’t burn demons that’s kind of their whole thing. You know. FIRE. But it was cool to draw so idc.

7- Harmony and Jokey stage a little plan. Jokey pretends to meet with Smooth to agree to the terms of their deal and get Smooth to confess to betraying his peers. Not cool Smooth, you’ve been locked out of heaven. Because he managed to get a fallen angel, Jokey keeps his position since now Smooth can do pitchfork duty. This means Harmony gets to claim he saved Vanity’s soul after all. Harmony you get a golden trumpet for your efforts :)

8- Yeah ok Harmony and Jokey technically broke the rules by dating in the first place but luckily the higherup angels care more about traitors in their own ranks doing illegal blackmailing and betraying than one random lower angel having a demon bf. And he saved Vanity’s soul. So. For now they pretend they do not see.

Jokey, Harmony, Vanity and Smooth (c) The Smurfs

[rhena-caerme]

Hello and welcome! Or good evening Europe good morning Australia :D

It is time for ESC!

I decided to share with you some of my thoughts about today's Semifinal of Eurovision Song Contest 2023.

1.Norway- may have been a technical thing but in my opinion official song sounds better. It was also first on the roster so it can also be that I wasn't used to the sound yet.

2. Malta- a return of a sax guy?

3. Serbia- good old eurovisian vampire. Sadly no burning piano tho.

4. Latvia- it was fine but nothing else I think

5. Portugal- femme fatal in Iberian style. Nice to watch really nice to listen to.

6. Ireland- feel good song. It felt like I could hear him sing even without a mic so kinda sus in my eyes. Not a fan of his outfit.

7. Croatia- again song about a mother. I've heard it somewhere 1.0. Felt like Freddie from a discount store to me. Meh

8. Switzerland- ballad sung by a guy that looks like he's 15 (sorry not sorry I don't know how old is he) BUT I really liked it.

9. Israel- to quote my notes "I don't believe in unicorns but I think I'll start to believe in that one"

10. Moldova- going by the title it's something about the moon. Again quoting myself "pretended shaman and I think I found that fucking unicorn xD"

11. Sweden- I've heard it somewhere 2.0 The mic she had was picking too much of her breathing to my liking. Visually better than musically.

12. Azerbaijan- twins or brothers idk. I've heard it somewhere 3.0 I kinda liked it and was bummed that it didn't make it to the final.

13. Czech- similar to some of he previous entries that Ukraine made. Woman power much but it was a good song

14. Netherlands- I don't have much to say besides that I thought that the guy had some nice scale to his voice

15. Finland- Rave on the scene. Surprisingly I liked it. Weird but good weird. (Beside that human centipede I think I saw there for a second)

All in all most of my faves made it. But I was surprised how many of the songs that I rate very low made it. Then again it's ESC everything is possible.

Still hoping for a burning piano or other good show. I crave chaos

[sharpen-jadescythe]

Screenshot dump! Summer vibes throwback edition

1. Alessandre sighs, “Ah, memories... definitely not blackmail pictures since there were a lot of Booty Bay bruisers lying dead beneath us.”

2. Alessandre, “I hope my wife doesn’t see this. I’m technically in a steam bath with a giant blue dragon and that’s supposed to be normal on this mission.”

3. Meanwhile on Trixany’s Blood Knight armor quest... Trixany, “Um, Lady Liadrin? What’s my motivation in this scene?” Liadrin, “We are fighting the Scourge! Get to it!” Trixany, “Scourge, riiiight. But do you mind if I evoke ‘lusting’ with my facial expression? That’s what gets you re-cast every time in soap operas. Like if you have fake romantic chemistry with your enemy.” Liadrin, “It’s the Scourge! Those are craven monsters we’re facing.” Trixany, “But Rommath is out here on this quest too, right? Nevermind, I’ll just walk over. It’s high time the devs got their heads on straight and shipped us.”

4. Al ready for Tyrande to give the word and let him stab Malfurion if he even thinks about going to sleep again.

5. Sharpen in his glitter hashira Tengen Uzui transmog at Entertainment District, Episode 3: Fire Fest!

6. What else does it look like?? A romantic gondola ride off the coast of the destroyed world tree while a vengeful dark moon of the Night Warrior looms on! That works for some people. Mainly a handful few members of the Horde, but there you go! (Pictured: Sharpen Jadescythe in his awesome boat.)

7. A rare, really excellent photo of my undead rogue and Trixany’s parole officer, Willy.

8. A random old photo of security Ranek ‘handling’ errant Kael’thas at Sax on the Beach. Seriously though, Kael tried to blow up the audience with fire after a pretty good Lady Gaga Telephone song parody.

@ranekvilmas​

[leemarkies]

15 questions, 15 people!

tagged by: @parksunghoons (thanks xixi! <3)

1. are you named after anyone? believe it or not yes. after patrick tillman's wife. (she and my mom were besties in high school/college)

2. when was the last time you cried? last friday after my bosses at work were being mean lololol

3. do you have kids? nope! unless u count my 22 yo brother that acts like a child!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? not that much

5. what sports do you play/have you played? i used to play tennis and volleyball when i was a kid. and i did dance (ballet, jazz, hip hop) for 7(?) years. i also did marching band all 4 years in high school (yes that counts)

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? their hair!

7. what’s your eye colour? green!

8. scary movies or happy endings? both!

9. any special talents? i can surf and skateboard!

10. where were you born? TECHNICALLY the hospital i was born in was in palo alto, california (my dad was still at stanford for uni) but i was almost immediately brought back to santa cruz, california and was raised there until i was 12

11. what are your hobbies? playing video games! and i love to paint and cross stitch! i also play the flute (and sorta the tenor sax) and if watching trashy reality shows was a hobby i'd be a professional

12. do you have pets? YES i have my baby dog buzz <3 who owns my entire heart <3 and my pet snake named richard, and a beta fish named bait :) also my brother has a dog named kona and i am the best aunt ever btw

13. how tall are you? 5' 8" (173 cm)

14. favourite subject in school? call me a nerd IDC but i loved and excelled in math. i also loved art and anything to do with computers!

15. dream job? botanist! or own a flower shop!

tagging:@exocean, @scoupsy, @akayong-main, @yonglixx, (feel free to ignore!)

[anyways-wonderwall]

Eurovision Special!

It's my favorite time of year, Eurovision time! Every year I make a post talking about my five favorite songs from the year and generally talk about what I thought of the whole competition.

Uhh here's the thing though, this year SUCKED. Like I have been following Eurovision for six years and there has never been a more mid year in my experience. There were literally only 5 songs I liked, which while it made writing this really easy, is terrible given I usually playlist around 10 songs each year. I don't know what was happening but the countries dropped the ball on picking entries and the jury decided that only boring songs were allowed to do well. I cannot express how disappointed I was this year. (I just realized in my last post I wrote "Eurovision is getting too good, and what comes up must come down sometime" and unfortunately I was right)

Anyways, if you haven't read my last two Eurovision posts (which you can find here and here) I give each song a score from 1-10 in four categories: singer, song, catchiness, and performance. While technically a perfect score is a 40, there are available bonus points based on whether it isn't in English, it makes me laugh really hard, embodies Eurovision, etc. Each song also gets a fun little note so I can remember what it sounded like. Listen it's really hard to keep track of 37 songs.

Without further ado, here are the only good songs in Eurovision 2023:

5. Lithuania - Stay by Monika Linkytė

Score: 28/40

Notes: chutoh aahh tootoh

Final Ranking: 11th

I was really on the fence about including this one since it didn't really grab me at first, and in all honesty its not that great or unique and I kind of wrote it off as your standard Eurovision song.

But then as the days went on, I found the chorus - ‘Čiūto Tūto’ haunting me. I have never had more fun than dancing along with the chorus and there has not been a day I haven't sung this song. I'm re-listening to it now and honestly, I'm fine never listening to it again, but it has changed my life.

4. Austria - Who the Hell is Edgar? by Teya & Salena

Score: 30/40

Notes: Poe Poe Poe Poe Poe

Final Ranking: 15th

Now this is why I listen to Eurovision. I come here for camp nonsense and this year Austria delivered. A feminist song about being possessed by Edgar Allan Poe?? Perfection. The song itself is really catchy, the singers are incredibly fun and charismatic, and the music video is just such a great time. I am really sad this song didn't place higher, especially since a lot of people were praising it. You deserved more girls!

(although edgar allan poe was actually very pro-slavery so they should be canceled /j)

3. Malta - Dance (Our Own Party) by The Busker

Score: 30/40

Notes: Perfect sax part

Final Ranking: didn't make it to the grand finale >:(

As the comment suggests, the strength of this song is the killer sax riffs (riffs multiple!! they just kept delivering!). The song as a whole is a super fun time, with a fun message and a goofy music video, once again things that I look for when I listen to Eurovision songs. Plus they're from Malta! A micronation represented by people actually from there! I feel like that alone deserves bonus points (I mean Malta only has half a million people, less than Wyoming).

2. Portugal - Ai Coração by Mimicat

Score: 38/40

Notes: Cabaret flamenco

Final Ranking: 23rd

This song reminds me a lot of Fanfare Ciocarlia in the best way. Its quick, full of brass, and makes me want to dance. It's also all in Portuguese and the live performance was absolutely mesmerizing. I don't know exactly what this genre is called, but I'm such a fan. Give me fast-paced music and some brass and I'm in love.

Finland - Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Score: 39/40

Notes: Why did the bridge keep going

Final Ranking: 2nd

C'mon, did you really think that I would put any other song at number one? This song hooks you from the beginning, has an aggressively European synth riff, nonsense Finnish lyrics, an inexplicable heavy metal chorus, this song is absolutely wonderful and one of the best to come from Eurovision. This song clearly stands out from all the others, and is the only one that I know of that made its way into international Tiktok. I mean if my roommate knows a Eurovision song without my involvement that means that it has some cultural power.

Unfortunately, I don't think this song is perfect. The bridge kind of ruins the momentum of the song by steering it into generic pop and for some reason they keep that overtone for the rest of the song. They were so close to committing to the bit, then they weirdly tried to make it sound normal. That aside, this is clearly the best song of this year and I am convinced that they rigged it.

I think the only songs I actually liked enough to keep listening to in my daily life are the last two, which is pretty bad for a Eurovision year. I just hope they do something good next year in stupid Sweden.

(and my least favorites this year were Georgia and Greece, really bringing down the letter "G." Luckily Germany brought a great song to make up for those two.)

[burlveneer-music]

Zopp - Dominion - epic prog rock, now with (some) vocals

ZOPP RETURNS! British progressive rock act, ZOPP, return with their sophomore album ‘DOMINION’, the follow up to their award-winning* self titled album, released in 2020. ‘Dominion’ showcases a clear progression in the sound of Zopp resulting in an epic 42 minute journey spanning avant-garde, jazz, ambient, folk, psychedelic rock and endless heaps of PROG. Ryan W Stevenson, the man behind Zopp (composer, mixer, producer, performer… heck, basically everything but the drums which have once again been masterfully performed by Leviathan’s Andrea Moneta) recorded the album at his home studio located in the suburbs of Nottingham, UK, over the past 3 years. To those who have been following Zopp from its inception, there’s one major difference you will notice this time round - there are vocals! Moving on from the instrumental Canterbury Scene infused neo-prog of the first album, Zopp now evolves into a form more reminiscent of Marillion or Yes and yet creates a new, unique and instantly identifiable sound that sets them apart from the rest of the progressive music scene. Purists, do not worry! Zopp’s fuzzed organ and technical playing style remains present, yet matured. ‘I think it’s more bombastic than the first album.’ States Ryan, ‘Writing a 14 minute progressive piece like ‘Toxicity’ where the song continuously flows was a challenge, but a successful experiment nevertheless. It’s important for me to throw all sorts of elements into the mix, from varied sources of music that are inspiring to me. I’ve really been into bands like King Gizzard and Tame Impala the last few years; not only their psychedelic sound, but also their DIY, independent approach to making music.’ Ryan W Stevenson: Hammond organ, mellotron, Hohner pianet, piano, electric pianos, acoustic and electric guitars, bass guitar, vocals, Korg ms20, synthesizers, percussion, flute, field recordings, sound design. Andrea Moneta: Drums and cymbals. Sally Minnear: Voice (1). Caroline Joy Clarke: Voice (1,2,7). Jørgen Munkeby (Shining NO): Tenor sax and flute (7). Mike Benson: Tenor sax (2). Rob Milne: Tenor sax and flute (7). Tomás Figueiredo: French horn (1). Joe Burns: Gong and additional cymbals (7). Cover art direction: Ryan W Stevenson. Cover art originally by Tom Adams

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 14th March

From the rightly-forgotten David Whitfield to the iconic songs we've got this week - quite the turnaround. Which is partly why I'm still enjoying this project. It gets you listening to a real mix of stuff, and you appreciate the good songs so much more when they come up. Also, it's a nice reminder that this stuff all co-existed. People were out there listening to Little Richard and David Whitfield at the same time - wild!

Long Tall Sally - Little Richard (peaked at Number 3)

Okay, the fact that this only reached number three is a crime! The sheer energy, Little Richard's manic screams, rasps and whoops, that saxophone solo - this song's got it all. There's a reason so many artists have covered it - the original sounds so fun that any musician worth their salt would want to give it their own go!

The song itself has an interesting backstory - apparently annoyed that Pat Boone had also managed to get a hit out of Tutti Frutti, Little Richard deliberately was looking for a song so fast that Boone couldn't keep up, something that only Richard could sing. A little girl then approached a radio host who knew Richard, offering up the lyric about how I saw Uncle John with bald-head Sally / He saw Aunt Mary coming and he ducked back in the alley. He loved the sound of it, and it turned into a song with the help of a local songwriter, Enotris Johnson.

The end result is a song that's furiously fast, and - though I'd never really thought about it until now - about adultery! Sung from the point of view of some third party who promises to tell Aunt Mary what her husband's been getting up to. We know that he claim he has the misery, but he havin' a lotta fun with the titular Sally, who, we learn, is built for speed / She got everything that Uncle John need. Well, then.

The odd thing about all this is that I somehow never really thought about it? I knew it was suggesting something. But I guess that's partly because of the way that the song, in the end, seems to just emphasis how fun it is to go out and live wildly, hence the repeated line about how We gonna have some fun tonight. It's not a blistering takedown of John or of Sally, or even really a takedown at all, seeing as how the narrator's in on the act by the end of it all.

It's something we've seen a whole lot with these rock and roll songs - they just take their lyrics and the scenarios that they set up way less seriously. Instead of strictly being "about" some romantic situation, it's more about the aesthetics of it all, the style, the sound. This is technically a song about Uncle John sleeping around, but in practice, it's a song about speedy shuffle drumming, boogie-woogie piano, insistent bass, purring saxophone solos and Little Richard's inimitable voice as he goes woooo-ooo-oooo-ooo in the middle, or screams to rival the sax.

If you can't tell, I love this song. It's just got such a full, fun sound, and a pace that gets you tapping your foot and bopping your head. You can't make out all the lyrics, but there's enough that you can tell it's suggestive stuff, not just hand-holding and staring into each other's eyes, you know?

I should also mention that there's now authentic, black African-American R&B music that's hitting the charts, not just Bill Haley-style covers by white people. In particular, you can see this in the lyrics - loads of AAVE features that you really couldn't imagine a white artist comfortably using. It will be interesting to track this kind of "black accent" in music, and see who's using it for what kind of song. So yeah, gonna put a pin in that, for now.

Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) - Harry Belafonte (2)

From one strand of black music, to another disnticntly different one - this time it's not R&B, but Jamaican calypso music, song by one Harry Belafonte. You know this song, even if you don't think you do - Harry's is the most famous verison, but it's been covered by a lot of folks, Freddie Mercury also famously improvised over the opening lines at Live Aid, and from my own childhood, I remember Jason Derulo riffing off it for one of his songs. So it's definitely still a song people are familiar with.

It's a traditional Jamaican call-and-response work song, sung from the perspective of dock workers working overnight to load bananas onto a boat, and waiting on the dawn so that they can go home. Hence the repeated refrain, in Jamaican patois, daylight come and me wan' go home. And honestly, that's most of it. Harry vamps it up on the verses, with the refrain interspersed with lines about working all night off just a drink of rum, about loading the bunches, and about waiting for the tally-man to come and count what they've loaded, but it's basically just an account of a night working.

I should also note here that the sound of the song, apart from this, is really simple, just a rolling drum at the start, and some pitched percussion throughout. Apart from this, this song's sung a cappella. It's quite a different sound to what we've heard elsewhere, in a strikingly refreshing way.

Harry's gone on the record describing this as a song that's about life under colonialism in the early 20th century, with local black working class people forced to take up gruelling jobs for foreign companies, such as the banana exporter here. And it's interesting that when this version came out, Jamaica has some degree of autonomy but still wasn't officially an independent country. It only became independent in 1962, but the 1950s by the sound of things was a hotbed of people wanting independence. So I can see why songs like this might have become popular in Jamaica around this time!

It's catchy, too, which apparently was enough to make it an international hit. This wasn't unprecedented. There had been some big calypso-influenced hits already, in particularly the Andrews Sisters' Rum and Coca-Cola from a bit over 10 years earlier, which has been credited with bringing calypso to the US. Still, it's Harry Belafonte, who was born in New York, grew up in Jamaica, but then moved back to New York and was working there at this point, was just the right person to make the genre properly popular, with his album Calypso being widely cited as a seminal one. My guess is that calypso was probably popular with the same people who liked folk music more generally, with the Caribbean stylings adding a layer of exoticism that might have intrigued people.

Anyway, it's also interesting to me that in the US, the song only really broke when a folk group, the Tarriers, did a cover, with Harry's blessing. In the UK, in contrast to this, people went straight for Harry's original, ignoring the folk cover. Part of me wonders if this is because Britain was already being exposed to Jamaican music, thanks to a steady stream of West Indian immigrants arriving after World War II to aid with rebuilding, the so-called Windrush generation. We've already seen at least one of these in Winifred Atwell, and there will be a steady stream of home-grown musicians of West Indian descent throughout the coming decades. As such, you have to wonder if the UK, thanks to its colonial past and continuing links to the Caribbean, is just that little bit better primed for Jamaican accents and sounds than the US was? Again, it will be interesting to track, at least...

Ooh, this week was good. Like, really good. Both songs from a different black musical tradition, both having made their way to the UK via the US, and both with a really distinctive sound that's different to what's gone before. I found Day-O probably the most interesting, with its unusual subject matter and its links to patterns of immigration and musical trends of the early to mid-20th century. And it's clearly been influential since its release. Still, my title at the end is given for my favourite, not the song I had more to say about, necessarily. And there's one song here that I defintely had more fun listening to...

Favourite song of the bunch: Long Tall Sally

[kittydemon9000]

So you know the joke that Polnareff has the worst luck in Part 3 and attracts the most Stand Users? I wanted to see if that was true so I made a pie chart recording every single time the Stardust Crusaders encounter an enemy Stand User.

RULES ARE SIMPLE.

1. For every Enemy Stand User one of the Crusader’s encounter, they will get a Point

2. Points are given to whoever attacked or was attacked by the Enemy User first. Other Crusaders who attack, are attacked, or help with the fight after that initial action will receive Encounter Points. Crusaders who were present but did not assist will not receive Encounter Points

       EX: During the Tower of Gray fight, Jotaro, Kakyoin, Avdol and Joseph are present when he appears. Jotaro attacks and is attacked by the Stand first, Avdol almost uses Magician’s Red to help but doesn’t because it could blow up the plane, and Kakyoin defeats it with Hierophant Green. Jotaro would get the Point, but only Kakyoin would get an Encounter Point.

3. It is possible for multiple people to get a Point from one opponent if they are attacked as a group or if the actions happen at roughly the same time

       EX: when Polnareff first attacks the group, he attacks Joseph but Avdol immediately attacks him with Magician’s Red. Both get the point.

4. I will only count encounters that happen in the “present” of SDC, meaning encounters like Avdol, Kakyoin and Polnareff’s first meetings with Dio or Joseph and Avdol fighting Iggy won’t receive points

5. I will only count a second encounter with the same Stand User after their “episode” has concluded. Multi Part episodes with the same Enemy User and encounters like Oingo/Boingo and the final fight with Dio will count as a singular encounter for the sake of this rule

There are also a few..... difficult situations that I wasn’t sure how to count, so to avoid confusion I’ll explain them here:

With the Empress, by technicality it’s Polnareff who has the first interaction when Nena runs into him to stop him from killing Hol Horse. However, she doesn’t actually fight anyone until the next episode when she attaches her stand to Joseph. I decided to give them both a Point because the incidents happened in separate episodes

Given the close quarters of the car, Wheel of Fortune attacked them all at once, so they all get a Point

While Jotaro was the one to punch Steely Dan, Joseph was the one who was affected by the Stand at the same time, so it’s a Point for both of them

Similar to Wheel of Fortune, Sun also attacked the whole group at once

Avdol and Kakyoin both get an Encounter Point for the Daniel D’Arby fight because technically their souls assisted in the fight

Kenny G is counted for everyone because his illusions were seen by and tricked everyone when they entered Dio’s mansion

Less of an exception thing and more something I found funny: the Point for DIO technically goes to Polnareff because of their encounter on the stairs

With those rules and explanations in place and way too much time spent combing through every single fight, and I learned a few things.

1) The jokes about Polnareff having the worst luck are correct, given the fact he encountered a THIRD of all their enemies first

2) Iggy only contributed his last few episodes

3) Avdol and Kakyoin were done dirty and should’ve been allowed to fight more

Maybe I’ll make one for Diamond is Unbreakable later.

The exact who fought who, assisted with what, and the Encounter Point pie chart will be under the cut

Jotaro, 11: Kakyoin(Hierophant Green), Gray Fly(Tower of Gray), Imposter Captain Tennille(Dark Blue Moon), Forever(Strength), Rubber Soul(Yellow Temperance), ZZ(Wheel of Fortune), Steely Dan(Lovers), Arabia Fats(Sun), Oingo(Khnum), Boingo(Tohth), Telence D’Arby(Atum)

Encounters, 12: Hol Horse(The Emperor), Enya(Justice), Mannish Boy(Death 13), Midler(High Priestess), N’Doul(Geb), Anubis, Alessi(Sethan), Daniel D’Arby(Osirus), Hol Horse Again(Emperor), Boingo Again(Tohth), Kenny G(Tenore Sax), DIO(The World)

Kakyoin, 4: ZZ(Wheel of Fortune), Arabia Fats(Sun), Mannish Boy(Death 13), N’Doul(Geb), 

Encounters, 11: Gray Fly(Tower of Gray), Imposter Captain Tennille(Dark Blue Moon), Forever(Strength), J Geil(Hanged Man), Hol Horse(The Emperor), Steely Dan(Lovers), Midler(High Priestess), Daniel D’Arby(Osirus), Telence D’Arby(Atum), Kenny G(Tenore Sax), DIO(The World)

Polnareff, 15: Devo(Ebony Devil), J Geil(Hanged Man), Hol Horse(The Emperor), Nena(The Empress), ZZ(Wheel of Fortune), Enya(Justice), Arabia Fats(Sun), Judgment(Cameo), Oingo(Khnum), Boingo(Tohth), Anubis, Alessi(Sethan), Daniel D’Arby(Osirus), Hol Horse Again(Emperor), Boingo Again(Tohth), DIO(The World)

Encounters, 6: Steely Dan(Lovers), Mannish Boy(Death 13), Midler(High Priestess), N’Doul(Geb), Kenny G(Tenore Sax), Vanilla Ice(Cream)

Avdol, 2: Polnareff(Silver Chariot), Vanilla Ice(Cream)

Encounters, 10: Forever(Strength), Hol Horse(The Emperor), Judgment(Cameo), Midler(High Priestess), N’Doul(Geb), Mariah(Bastet), Daniel D’Arby(Osirus), Hol Horse Again(Emperor), Boingo Again(Tohth), Kenny G(Tenore Sax)

Joseph, 11: Polnareff(Silver Chariot), Nena(The Empress), ZZ(Wheel of Fortune), Steely Dan(Lovers), Arabia Fats(Sun), Midler(High Priestess), Oingo(Khnum), Boingo(Tohth), Mariah(Bastet), Hol Horse Again(Emperor), Boingo Again(Tohth), 

Encounters, 7: Forever(Strength), Mannish Boy(Death 13), N’Doul(Geb), Daniel D’Arby(Osirus), Telence D’Arby(Atum), Kenny G(Tenore Sax), DIO(The World)

Iggy, 2: Petshop(Horus), Kenny G(Tenore Sax)

Encounters, 2: N’Doul(Geb), Vanilla Ice(Cream)

[tricktster]

Semi-ironically went to a concert with about half the d&d squad last night knowing only that it was a band called Yacht Rock Revue (and guessing from the name that they presumably played covers of songs enjoyed by white dads of a certain age).

Showed up, the super small venue was like only 1/4 full, and there were the 9 most technically fucking competent musicians I have ever seen perform, playing this like super high production value cover show of dadcore songs

this video is the end of the song where I finally fully lost my shit, dropped the ironic facade, and became a genuine fan of this ridiculous assortment of mostly dads:

Like don’t get me wrong, the sax solo in Baker Street is an absolute banger no matter what?

but the band had cast such a spell on me at that point that I screamed “I LOVE YOU” at a man wearing a genuinely unconscionable hat as he performed in a novelty cover band and i MEANT IT

We were all so confused as to what was happening. We could not wrap our mind around why there was this band just crushing these technically perfect covers of the Now That’s What I Call Dad Music playlist for an audience that generously numbered in the mid 2 digits. We were looking them up online, and that’s how we discovered:

1. This cover band somehow has a subsidiary cover band.

2. This band used to be Y-O-U, which sounded familiar to me, though I couldn’t immediately place why.

3. That’s why.

also fwiw their website is an experience

[llovinjoonie]

More incorrect Heathers because it’s really funny to me

JD: ‘i am not out of control! i’m a law abiding citizen!’

Veronica: really? name one law.’

JD: ‘don’t kill people.’

Veronica: ‘that’s on me, i set the bar too low’

-

*JD and Veronica skipping stones on lake*


Veronica: It’s such a beautiful evening.


JD , whispering: Take that you fucking lake

-

Veronica: Violence isn't the answer.

JD: You’re right.

Veronica: *sighs in relief*

JD : Violence is the question.

Veronica: What?

JD , bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Veronica, running after him: NO-

-

Veronica: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail

JD: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

-

JD: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

JD: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

-

Veronica: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

JD : Stop romanticizing the past.

-

Veronica: Go to Hell.

JD, tearing up: I wish i could.

-

JD: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Veronica: Isn't that just killing people?

JD: Ah, technicality.

-

Veronica: I was arrested for being too cool.

Heather C: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

-

JD: This is bothering me.

Veronica: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

JD: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

-

Duke: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

McNamara: I don’t know how to do that.

Chandler: Gross, I don’t wear a watch.

Veronica: Time is a construct.

-

Veronica : What time is it?


JD: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out


JD: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*


Chandler: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING


JD: It’s 2 am

-

JD, negotiating with the Heathers: We have Chandler. Give us ten thousand dollars and she will be returned to you unharmed


Chandler: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?


JD:


Chandler: make it one million

-

JD, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Martha: You did WHAT–

Veronica: William Snakepeare

-

Veronica: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Chandler, turning to JD: How tall are you?

[glngrbred]

Goblins p2

Goblin saxes and saxuality. There are 4, technically 3 saxes of goblins. Male Goblins (Goblin) The typical and comparatively common Male Goblin, referred to outside of the Gobish Language as Goblins. These Relatively Quite small goblins are not prone or interested in typical saxual activity, since Goblins have extreme saxual dimorphism its unsurprising that these genetal-les Goblin spawn breeders are more keen on dancing during typical goblin mating seasons as opposed to spending time with a significant other in the bedroom. Goblin pollen is a common magical item used in charms and enchantments, Its basic nature as a persuasive chemical leaves many a man yearning for some big, strong, hunky- Anyways, Male Goblins as stated earlier release pollen, their plantlike gametes are not different in any way to a typical deciduous tree’s, but the magical origin of goblins has its effect on near everything in their physiology. In appearance, male goblins are flowering and vibrantly colored when compared to hobgoblins and Erklings. Male goblins have many flowers, and typically each flower has 2 stamens. so, yeah, technically male goblins have their genitals all over their backs. Female Goblins (Hobgoblins) Originally thought to be a completely different race than Goblins, Female Goblins are large, strong, and often more drab in appearance than Male Goblins. Without getting too far into the details, yes, Female Goblins Have a Pistil. Yes, the Goblin's Pistil is very similar in nature to a Human Male's you know what, no a Hobgoblin Can probably not get you Pregnant (unless you did something freaky), and no, Hobgoblins are not Male Because they have a you know what. There's actually some really cool Real world stuff that Mirrors the Hobgoblin's nature pretty exactly. Namely seahorses and the M-Preg stuff they do. The science behind what constitutes a Male and a Female is actually pretty straight forward in Seahorses specifically. Basically, we know that the pregnant parent in a seahorse produces gametes that are biologically similar to related trumpetfish and pipefish sperm. and We know that the other parent in seahorses produces Eggs, and not sperm. So that's how we know that seahorses are actual literal M-preg and also why Hobgoblins are packing ;) But Fr tho The 3 Goblin saxes was mainly because Plants are weird and I ended up realizing that If there were 2 goblin saxes and they were a flowering species they would likely need pollinators, and if you think about that one for more than 3 seconds it gets weird with bees. Sepal sax Goblins (Erklings) The Sepal sax Goblins are most similar to a Human Female. If Hobgoblins were 'male' then a Sepal sax goblin would be 'Female' However, Sepal sax Goblins don't actually produce their own Gametes, they have to be given both Male and Female gametes in order to produce a Goblin. Additionally, Goblin seeds, the 'Eggs' Mentioned in the Hobgoblin section, do need a period of Gestation inside of a parent in order to begin sprouting. This is typically no less than 3 weeks and no more than 5. It depends on If the Sepal sax parent for the seed Is an Erlking or Mother tree, and If the child is of Mother tree or a Goblin. Additionally, It is important to mention that Sepal sax Goblins do not have boobs, Mammary glands, or nearly any secondary saxual traits outside of being slightly less disposed towards growing further after Goblin pubescence. The mother tree? So yeah, Erklings and the mother tree are technically two different versions of the same sax of goblin, except one is affected by the enchantment and one isnt, so how does that work? Basically if an Erlking gets boy erm from a Hobgirlblin and then doesn’t get splashed by not girl not boy goblin smoglin it’ll make a tree. But if the hoboyglin gives the Erkling some girl um and it gets boy yuh and hit with some smoglin it makes a goblin. Also yes, a Mother tree can make a goblin or another tree, it would just need a hobgoblin to help it… E|:

So I've realized the errors of my way by not making these long posts clearly part of a series on my blog. Since tumblr is *technically* a blogging website makes the most sense for me to just write my shit and say my lines in the comfort of my own blog, instead of spamming tags on them that aren't fully coherent.

Anyways, GOBLIN TIME >:) In the 2nd Garder blog post I briefly? threw out all of the humanoids in my setting and didn't really effectively go over them, so this time Ima go in Depth, the deep depths, of the far side of the pool, on goblins specifically

History lesson time! (Why Goblins look like that lol) Typical greenskin Hooked nosed Goblins were once upon a time anti semitic figure heads. And while most of the time the depiction of goblins and other related variant Humanoids are completely harmless, I still feel pretty uncomfortable about how particularly interested in the Big Ear, Hooked Nosed, unibrowed depictions of goblins people are. Because all of those features were added to the goblin story later, like way later, just for the purpose of making them as similar to anti semitic caricatures as possible. Basically I wanted to keep the familiar Goblin silhouette, as little guys with 3 big triangular protrusions on their head, But I didn't want to fall back on the typical portrayal of goblins as Jewish people Demonized. Do I think The Popular depiction of goblins Is anti semitic? No, but I acknowledge the history of that caricature and want to do something unique already, so having this guideline of subverting the typical depiction is very helpful to me.

With that in mind, here's my description of the Gobling/Goblet, Goblin, Erkling(TBD), Hobgoblin, and Mother tree. Origins: The Goblin Race Were Likely Derived from the same Fey Enchantments as Wendigo, However, When a Wendigo was Enchanted, It's Host would Have near always been an Animal, or Humanoid, Goblins would have come from plants given incredibly advanced magics to be made into a permanent, reproducing, forest dwelling race. Goblins all originate from a singular group of mother trees, again, these trees were most likely enchanted by Fey. And on that enchantment it was most likely to create a Race of Protectors for their forest homes. When I begin to design flavor stories for sets 1 through 9 I'll flesh out the method of delivery for this origin story. most likely goblin investigation/entries and Goblin Oral histories.Anatomy: Broadly Goblins are plants taken animal form, and through typical Human definitions, Goblins are animals evolved from plants as they technically fulfill all requirements to be part of the animal kingdom barring genetics. Briefly and visually, Goblins are defined by their woody subcutaneous, and flexible skeletons, phloem as opposed to typical veins, spongey innards, and foliage. With Pseudo Hearts resembling a twitching tulip bulb and "Musculature" that seems like hydraulics, They are Most similar to a Gnome in biomechanical structure. While goblins do have mouths, and rudimentary digestive systems, they don't have lungs, or vocal chords. And therefore cannot vocalize through natural means, though Goblins are quite good at interpreting language, they simply can't produce many vowels needed in other Group's languages. This has lead to centuries of Victimization where Goblins were unable to speak up for themselves. Goblins Have advanced ears that work quite similarly to a human ear though, the liquid filled Cochlea, film of matter making up the eardrum, sensitive fibers that mimic the human inner ear etc. All this leads us to the Goblin Brain. Like most Magically Borne beings, Goblins don't actually have a brain. It's just a hollow, fluid filled cavity that performs all the same functions and activity as a Human brain. This 'bike' is extremely sensitive to electricity though, as some exceptionally inhumane studies have found, and just like a human, an arrow through the temple is the quickest way to kill a goblin. Also, in apearence the goblin head is big ears, foliage hair, and then eyes. wich are eyes. and instead of a big nose goblins have a big anteater snout for a head, but with the big ears, and the mouth opens a bit more than an anteater's, so its not quite a proboscis but gets close.

this post was too long for a singleton but the sevond will be in a reblog