#i hated the book and also these boy tiktok act

[starsandsuch]

Some notes on Chitra 💎🍡🐅

The 14th Nakshatra. It’s ruled by Mars and is the bridge between sidereal Virgo and Libra. Being contained between 23.20 degrees Virgo and 6.40 degrees Libra.

Deity: Tvastar the celestial architect

Their symbol is a Jewel/Pearl. Some sources would say it’s symbolized as a diamond as well. Their yoni is a female tiger.

This can apply to Sun, moon, Ascendant, lagnesh or Atmakaraka in Chitra. Honorable mention ketu in Chitra.

Here are some observations I’ve made about them:

↠ They look good on camera.

↠ Usually have thick defined eyebrows.

↠ They’re one to obsess over their appearance in a very thorough way.

↠ They have round eyes that look glossy like marbles. Their face is heart shaped.

↠ At a certain point they learn people like looking at them; as many find them physically attractive. They’re not one hide away from that gaze of others, but embrace the attention that comes with being attractive.

↠ They love attention and being the center of things.

↠ They hate having body hair. Many opt to getting laser: permanent hair removal. Ironically enough a lot of them tend to be genetically very hairy.

↠ Even Chitra men hate having body hair. My Chitra guy friend used to shave his legs and I thought it way so weird for a (straight) guy to do that??.😭

↠ Chitra women are thicc. They usually have full hips and big butt.

↠ Fun fact: when I used to do astrology readings , I offered a reading where I’d describe your physical appearance based on your birth chart , and literally every single person who bought that reading had Chitra Sun, moon or ascendant. Mainly ascendant though.

↠ They are good at orchestrating drama. They highkey love drama.

↠ They live for controversy/ creating controversy

↠ Being the conductor of the drama then being the one to try to fix it , is a classic Chitra trope to me.

↠ They actually have a masterful talent of orchestration of drama but never get caught or blamed for it.

↠ They know how to be manipulative of social narratives. They know how to act or say things in order to get a certain reaction from others.

↠ This why they make good lawyers, bc during prosecution you have to make the defendant person look guilty through power of suggestion & insinuation. And put that seed of doubt in the jury’s mind based on their line of questioning. Basically indirectly accusing them without saying it directly.

↠ They’re naturally passive aggressive. They can display the mask of cordiality but secretly plot of someone’s downfall.

↠ They can poke and prod people to get an emotional or angry emotion out of them.

↠ A lot of them are very critical and judgmental. They can be judgmental towards family members especially.

↠ One thing I’ve see with Chitra that no one ever talks about is how good they are at predicting social trends. They usually know about /do something a few years before it’s popular.

↠ I sense they’re good at trend forecasting since Libra naturally has Aquarius in their 5th house. 5th house= talents, Aquarius= the future. So they have a talent for predicting the future.

↠ Two examples of this:

↠ #1 Kim Kardashian (who has Chitra Sun) and her affinity for social media was ahead of its time. Her long-hair-bbl-aesthetic was arguably the first prototype in the copy paste look you see on Instagram.

↠ Also when I watched KUWTK , in a 2012 episode she had a selfie book, and would take selfies with a mini LED light attached to her DSLR camera. Now it’s the norm to have mini lighting equipment in your purse. But she had that even before iPhones were that mainstream.

↠ #2 Soulja Boy (who has Chitra moon) is a known pioneer with music artists/social media. He was one of the 1st to have an online image as a rapper / go viral /have a viral dance for a hit song etc. Basically that formula is the mainstream strategy for success in the music industry in present day. But he did all that in like 2008 before iPhones/IG/tiktok etc.

↠ They will thrive in any career where you have to curate the aesthetics of something. Being a stylist, decorator, image consultant are all very Chitra-like.

↠ These natives are good at making money. Any Chitra person I’ve known IRL is good at money management or they are wealthy. 💰

↠ They’re good at party planning or event planning.

↠ I’ve also seen this be a successful social media influencer Nakshatra. They will post on socials and in a relatively “short” time gain a lot of engagement/followers etc.

↠ They seem to be always on the pulse of social trends/ pop culture etc

↠ They love dressing up as different personas, they are good at impersonating people. They like to personify different cultures through their aesthetic.

↠ They attract very aggressive people as partners.

↠ Libra naturally has their 7th house in Aries so they attract people with Martian energy. Aggressive, straightforward, blunt, controlling.

↠ They have a spouse that is a different ethnicity than them. Likely to be in an interracial relationship.

↠ A lot of them are very intelligent and get high marks in school, some even be valedictorian, magna cumlaude, summa cumlaude etc.

↠ Many get involved in politics or law.

↠ They are social climbers

↠ They love to argue.

↠ The especially like bantering. They���ll be sports commentators, podcaster, fashion critic, pop culture critic, etc.

↠ They get over things quickly. They don’t dwell on the past and let that hold them back from future endeavors. They’re always trying to achieve something new.

[taintedcigs]

modern!steve popular culture hcs:

loves taylor swift. this is obvious. 1989 is his go to album when he's getting ready (especially during his hair care routine). he thinks style and wildest dreams were written FOR HIM. is not afraid to sing the songs out loud and sometimes annoys u a lot by singing them in a really high-pitched voice. sings "he's so TALLLL and handsome as HELLLL, he's so bad but he does it so well." at you with a wink and pointing to himself, fully believing it's written about him, you can't convince him otherwise.

rom-com lover. through and through. he used to hide it but he just can't anymore. loooves 10 things i hate about you, how to lose a guy in 10 days, and notting hill. he also enjoys all of katherine heigl's iconic rom-coms.

LOVES MUSICALS. mamma mia is in his top 3 on letterboxd (he loves abba SO MUCH). and he cried watching la la land and regularly listens to the soundtrack.

he can't watch horror movies for the life of him. he got creeped out by the idea of coraline and still can't get himself to watch it. (robin dressed up as the other mother for halloween and steve SCREAMED.)

he's one of those people WHO loves watching movies that are so bad that they are ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECES. also have a feeling he laughs really hard at those 00s parody movies. idk why. it's what bonded him and eddie. and they have a marathon of bad parody movies when they're stoned tf out of their mind. they just told me.

he loves ANYTHING pop. (he loves fantasize by ariana grande and has begged u on countless occasions to do the dance on tiktok and only send it to him) and he loves himself some alt-pop and occasionaly indie stuff like lana, lorde, arctic monkeys, death cab for cutie, sufjan stevens, inhaler, franz ferdinand, band of horses and boygenius!!!

also random but he'd be such a trashy reality tv fan.... watching ALL of them with you... love island, jersey shore, housewives, dANCE MOMS, any other horrible netflix reality tv... like at first he scoffs at you for it, but then he does that dad stance. just standing and watching whatever you're watching, then finally after a few hours, he takes a seat next to you, fully immersed in the experience, not even letting YOU look at your phone, and he's sitting on the edge of the couch, staring at the tv like a man-possessed while critiquing the show and doing commentary like they can hear him.

the most "metal" he can listen to is literally fall out boy. (eddie keeps making fun of him for this. you are now sending metal songs to steve, day by day, trying to get him to like it, just so that eddie won't make fun of your poor angel bf anymore<3)

this is self-indulgent but he's a twilight fanboy through and through... team edward but he feels bad for jacob (sadly... you have an argument about this each time and once you bring up jacob claiming a baby he's dead silent), has a tradition w u to watch them every fall. he acts like he's seeing it for the first time each time u guys watch it.

likes harry potter (fuck jkr forever, u guys don't engage in the content and u 🏴‍☠️ both the movies n books:)) bc he grew up with the movies but if you're a harry potter nerd, he'd poke fun at THAT A LOOT. HE'S A LIL TEASING ASSHOLE. "oh that wasn't very slytherin of you!" "i thought you were supposed to be brave, huh? aren't you a gryffindor, babe?" he taunts with a loud chuckle, enjoying the way you narrow your gaze at him.

[fix-me-sixteen]

okay i think we need to start writing lists of hunger games theories/opinions we hold in disdain.

we do . . . here are some of mine:

gale killed prim

effie went through a spectacular character arc and came out to be a good person in the end

katniss supported coin's idea to hold one last symbolic hunger games

peeta is boring (boy is manipulative as shit hello)

finnick shouldn't have died, it should've been gale instead

the reapings were rigged to pick prim in the first book

coin is lucy gray

coin is worse than snow. also snow is worse than coin

snow truly, genuinely loved lucy gray

snow truly, genuinely cared about sejanus

gale is genuinely, truly an evil bad person

katniss should've ended up with gale

people unabashedly hating on the careers/cheering at their deaths/saying they deserved it

katniss's mother deserved more anger from katniss for the way she checked out

when people say they want to see more of the games/hope the next book has a sizable portion dedicated to it

when people make sotr about haymitch ships

when people unironically ship snowbaird or whatever-snow-and-sejuanus-is as a non-toxic, happy, loving couple and make romantic tiktoks about them

when people make any of the books about mainly the romance (they're about how romance/marketing is used to cover the less digestible aspects of the horrors of war hello)

when people say flickerman in tbosas was super funny comedic relief???? his literal point in that movie was to show how making sick, twisted jokes about children dying was used to water down the fact that, you know, children are dying. you're supposed to be sick to your stomach because he could casually banter and dumb down the severity of the hunger games, not laugh with him. if you laughed at even a single one of his jokes . . . like hello

the berries started the rebellion . . .

snow wasn't genuinely convinced by katniss's in-love-with-peeta act

when people thirst over snow because tom blyth is hot get me out of here

snow was a genius for the third quarter quell (that was an objectively stupid move on his part and not at all smart)

katniss never wanted kids and the ending was out of character for her (i'm all for criticizing writers that make (usually female) characters who explicitly don't want to have kids have kids anyway, but uh. katniss is not that character)

snow is smart in general. he is not smart, he's just opportunistic

gale didn't deserve katniss because peeta had bread and he didn't (do not take this the wrong way people; i'm saying this is a stupid anti gale argument, not that i ship katniss and gale)

pretty much anything the movies pushed or changed (*cough* hayffie *cough*)

the hunger games isn't a tragedy

[elainsgirl]

"b-but azriel is a f-boy. he's jealous. he's possessive. he's entitled. he's icky.. he's... he's..."

Azriel is so misunderstood because of bonus chapter. "Gwyn can help him with his darkness" are you okay?? Azriel is not some broken person you guys make him out to be! We don't have enough of his pov to see how he is... that's just a glimpse of it.

It baffles me that Gwyn was dragged into these ship wars so she can "save azriel and help with his darkness and trauma" (im obviously talking about the weird ones who ship them together. I've met good gwyn and azriel shippers) ..... Gwyn is an amazing character, stop saying that weird stuff. Not to mention people romanticizing her getting saved by azriel- its annoying and disgusting!

Also Azriel getting shipped with everyone! Like bro, he's fine!

I ship Azriel with no one as of now. Sure him and Elain have moments but... its not enough for me to fully ship them yet. We need everyone's pov before we start making up these theories and gaslighting people so much! Everyone claims to say "Im thinking most of the people in this fandom is 12 year olds" nah, its all of you. Yall can't accept the fact that people have different preferences and opinions. Yall bully people off the internet because of fantasy book??? hello??? are we like, okay??? not to mention people act like this book is so unpredictable! baby, this is a normal fantasy book! nothing about this series is unpredictable at all!

Not to mention Acotar tiktok people have got to be one of the most sensitive people ever! Can't even make a funny video without someone having to debate in the comments. like please shut the hell up. so glad tiktok is getting banned, those insufferable people can get away.

The way Azriels character has been completely twisted by the fandom to suit their anti elri agenda is truly something. The way they potray Azriel as such a disgusting character with Elain but are ok shipping him and Gwyn - cause suddenly he then becomes the perfect male for her. This is why I just cannot understand anti logic - they’re constantly warping whatever they can to fit their ships or disprove elriel and if you have work that hard - taking scenes out of context, adding in your biased interpretations, lying about quotes - just to disprove elriel….says enough about the confidence they have in their ships.

I hate hate hate the fact they use Gwyn as the only one who can “heal” him or challenge him etc, its not Gwyns job to change a grown, 500 year old man. She deserves so much better then the way she’s being treated, dragged into a shipwar for having one innocent conversation- that too more focused on his powers then the man himself - with the opposite gender. I think if Gwyn had shown she felt some way towards Azriel such as having a crush on him or Nesta teasing her about all the supposed “alone” time Gwyn and Az were having in SF and she blushes or gets shy whatever - I would totally understand gwynriel more, and if that was what Mass wanted she never would have given us a descriptive scene on how bad down Az was for Elain - such a scene should have only been for Az and his final Li aka in this case Gwyn. We never got detail descriptions on how badly Cass wanted another woman when Nesta was introduced as early as acomaf. Most stans have really put Gwyns story and journey as a character to the sideline and instead focused on forcing her into a relationship with a man and romanticising that - it just feels icky to me personally.

Its some kind of joke that Az is being shipped with every other person aside from who he wants the most LMFAO.

Thats fine if you don’t want to ship Az with anyone and instead wait for the book, I think thats best to make sure you’re not disappointed by any outcome. Idk, some people do act so immature & childish within the fandom and I think its fair to call such behaviour out. I can accept people have different opinions and as much as they’re entitled to those I am equally entitled to judge or challenge their takes in my own space. As long as no one is saying or doing anything to affect someone beyond the screen - challenges and debates are normal within fandoms. Yh such as how many times certain people have scared off artists and have made others become inactive due to the harassment they’ve received- its all sides of the fandom. Heavy on nothing about acotar being unpredictable but I kind of like how each parallel, pattern and foreshadowing all comes together so nicely in a cute set of 3. Its clear where Mass is going with the storyline and I cannot wait to see it playout.

Welp TT was banned but now its back, so those people are here to stay.

[fiestylittlebeetle]

i think its a sign its time to get off tumblr if you think dark fiction is responsible or even a significant contributor to the current rise in rape culture and fascism

like lets just ignore the normalization of rape culture being taught to young boys through manosphere streamers, and the normalization of trad wife lifestyles through cottegcore tiktok, or the normalization of genocide by violent militaristic bigots posting videos of themselves killing innocent people on line and being celebrated for it

the REAL problem is some incest loving freak on ao3 and collen hoovers shitty ass books!

like god damn yall! I fucking hate incest, pedo/loli/whatever, and rape too but for FUCKS SAKE it is an absolute braindead take to be like "erm actually mouthwashing fans making yaoi are the REAL reason rape is normalized" shut the fuck up man you are literally an idiot

also acting like published dark fiction/erotica is a new 2020s invention that never existed before and only spawned to normalize rape culture, and women being into cnc are rape apologists is unhinged

especially insane to blame RACISM on dark erotica like

really?

REALLY?

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

Sparks

cw: none

notes: this is based on two tiktoks by @Sarajamss (idk their Tumblr), but you should go follow them. I give the plot credit to their tiktoks

It was late and all Armin wanted to do was stay up and read in peace. He was curled up in one of the bathroom stalls, just hoping he could concentrate and have some quiet with his book to… distract himself; at least that’s what he liked to call it. If he spent too much time thinking in his own brain, about his own emotions, he would simply be fucked. He heard the door to the bathroom open and he hitched his breath, praying he would continue to go unnoticed. 

“Armin, dude, I know you’re in here. Um… is something wrong?” Eren’s voice quietly called out. Eren also wasn’t the best with emotions and Armin bit his lip. “Armin,” he said more sternly than the first time. 

Armin slowly opened the door to the stall and peaked his head out. “Hey, Eren. What are you doing up so late?”

“I could ask you the same question. What're you doing in here?”

Armin held up his book and offered a small smile. “Just reading.”

“Don’t you usually do that in the barracks.”

“Well, yes, but Connie and Sasha snore and I just needed some quiet…” he trailed off and tried to piece his words together but was failing miserably. 

Eren leaned against one of the walls and thought for a second. “Is this gonna be like an emotional convo…? Should I get Mikasa because we both know that I-”

“Eren calm down,” Armin interrupts quickly. “I’m literally fine, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Eren furrows his brows and glances over Armin to read his body language. “I’ll be right back.”

“No, Eren don’t get Mikasa I swear-.” But before Armin was able to finish, Eren had already left to get Mikasa. A small string of curse words circulates Armin’s mind. 

About two minutes later, Mikasa enters the bathroom, Eren in toe. She looks a bit disgruntled, her hair messy and her scarf wrapped tightly around her. 

“I told him to not-”

“No, Armin. Eren said something was wrong. Are you okay?” she asks quietly, leaning against the wall and yawning. 

“I’m literally fine you two, I don’t understand where you’re getting this from!” Armin blushes. 

Mikasa and Eren share a knowing glance that makes Armin feel very uncomfortable. Mikasa runs a hand through her hair and sighs. 

“Something’s been on your mind recently, just talk to us. We’re the last people to judge you,” she says quietly. Eren sits on the ground and watches the interaction between Armin and Mikasa, noticing there is some non-verbal communication happening between the two of them. 

“Just insecurities about myself,” Armin admits, a blush creeping on his cheeks again. “I kinda hate my hair and just… body issues… self esteem issues… you know, the works,” he rambles. 

Mikasa tugs on her scarf and nods. “It’s okay, Armin. We love you anyway and you know… when you’re ready to actually talk about what’s wrong, Eren and I are here for you.”

Armin bites his lip and doesn’t say anything; he just offers a forced smile. “Let’s go to bed you guys. I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.”

______________________________________________________________________________

“JEAN YOU’RE SO STUUUUPID!” Armin hears Eren scream from the other room, post-meal time. He gets up and makes his way to the room, book in hand, and sees Eren and Jean fighting it out, Connie snickering in the corner. 

“You guys, just go one day or I swear,” Armin threatens. 

“Ooh, Armin’s gonna swear?” Connie asks excitedly. 

“No- that’s not-”

“But Armin, Jean was being a dickhead again!” Eren complains. 

Armin’s mouth gapes slightly and he looks between the two boys. If he asks what happened, he would be greeted with the most stupid disagreement. 

“Alright,” Armin mumbles, sitting down next to the three of them. “What did Jean say?”

“Well, Jean was commenting-”

“Don’t act like I started this, asshole,” Jean interrupts. 

“I will end your fuc-”

“Both of you shut up and explain each of your sides of the story without interrupting, or I’ll have Connie do it. Eren you first.”

Eren smirks at being chosen to explain his side first. “Well, we were actually all getting along for once. Ya know, boys being boys. ‘Hehe she’s cute’; shit like that. Then Jean had the audacity to make an inappropriate comment about Mikasa.”

Armin feels his heart sink into his stomach and he inhales sharply at the names ‘Jean’ and ‘Mikasa’. He rings his hands together to center himself again. “What exactly did he say?”

“I don’t remember, it was something stupid like ‘she’s so hot when she’s fighting titans I wish I could be a titan so she could-’”

“Oh my fucking god, I absolutely did not say that!” Jean gasps out, a blush creeping on his cheeks. 

Armin purses his lips. “Okay then what did you say?”

“I just said she’s really pretty!”

Connie snickers and Armin side eyes him. 

“First of all, just saying that doesn’t seem like it constitutes Eren beating the living hell out of you. Second of all, Connie, why did you laugh?”

“Oh, I laugh at everything, Armin. Don’t take my word for anything,” Connie chuckles again. 

Armin rubs his head. “What did Jean say in regards to Mikasa?”

“To be honest I just kinda just heard ‘blah blah, Mikasa, blah, titan, blah blah, hot, titan, blah, JEAN YOU’RE SO STUUUUPID!”

“Alright that’s enough- wait did you say ‘hot titan’?” Armin asks quickly. 

“Oh sorry, my bad. There should’ve been a comma in between the words hot and titan I totally see-”

“This is not the matter at hand you guys!” Eren says, cutting off Armin and Connie’s side tracked conversation. 

Armin just shakes his head. “Here’s the verdict. Jean don’t make inappropriate comments about women-”

“-YEAH!”

“And Eren,” Armin faces his best friend. “Stop beating people up for kicks and giggles. You’re getting on my nerves.”

Connie giggles. “Anywho, now that you’re here Armin, you should totally spill who you think is cute! We all have.” Connie wiggles his eyebrows and Armin raises his own. 

“Connie? You find someone attractive? Like as in unironically?” Armin asked.

“Oh hell no, I just exist here dude. But Eren and Jean shared so it's your turn.”

Armin blushes and looks at the three boys. “I don’t know, I think I also just… exist here. Whatever Connie said.”

Jean aggressively shakes his head in disbelief. “Nah, you do the stupid thing guys do when they have a crush on a girl. Ya know, appearing more shy, smiling more, blushing more… all the shit.”

Mikasa walks by the room and Armin watches Eren and Jean ogle her. Armin sighs, thinking to himself for a minute. 

“No, unfortunately no crushes here, just… existing.”

Connie raises his hand for a high five, but Armin doesn’t notice, he’s watching Jean’s face as he watches Mikasa walk by. Connie high fives himself and it snaps Armin back to reality. 

“Jean and I need to go meet up with Sasha, but we’ll see you around,” Connie says, grabbing Jean and dragging him out of the room. Flustered, Jean smiles and offers a small goodbye wave. The second the door shuts, Armin’s shoulders slump and he exhales dramatically. 

“Okay so who do you have a crush on?” Eren asks after a minute of silence. “It’s not Mikasa, she’s like a sister to you… it’s not Sasha is it?”

Armin rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No it’s neither of them.”

“I’m kinda running out of options, Armin. Who is she?”

The silence that follows weighs unspeakably on Armin’s chest and he fidgets with anything he can find. Eren just makes a confused face; Armin’s going to give him a minute. That’s when it hits him. 

“Oh my fucking god, Armin,” Eren breathes out. Armin looks everywhere except his best friend and he bites his lip. 

“I’m sorry I should have told you sooner it’s just-”

“Okay just to clarify, you’re gay, yeah?”

Armin’s mouth drops slightly and he lets out a low scoff in response. “I guess so… I’m kind of unlabeled. I’m not sure. I-I do find both boys and girls attractive I just… like a guy right now,” Armin admits sheepishly, the flush in his cheeks burning through his skin. 

“Ohhhhh it all makes so much sense now, that’s why you were blushing when Connie said he didn’t have romantic feelings for anyone and you copied his ‘just existing’ answer. You like Connie!”

Armin can’t help but blink in disbelief of how dumb his best friend was. “No. You absolute idiot that is not who I have a crush on.”

“Oh my gosh is it me?”

“Hell no, Eren.”

“I don’t know whether or not to be offended by how quickly you said that or if I should-”

“It’s Jean, Eren. I-I… I like Jean.”

The weight of the room feels almost heavier than when Eren was processing that Armin liked a guy. 

“J-Jean…? Like horse-faced, in love with Mikasa Jean?” Eren stammers. 

Armin just nods slowly, feeling his eyes well up. “That’s the problem. Why I’ve been so down on my looks and trying to avoid being around him and… he doesn’t like boys Eren. And I don’t know what to do or feel.”

“I… wish I could tell you, Armin and I’m sorry I can’t. I… all I can say is thank you for telling me. Are you going to talk to Mikasa?”

Armin hesitates. “I don’t know. I know she doesn’t like Jean, she’s obsessed with you-”

“You think Mikasa likes me?”

“Eren, this is about me right now. Anyway, I know she isn’t interested in Jean but still… I can’t help but be jealous of her or I don’t know.”

“Well we both know that Mikasa wouldn’t look or think about you differently at all. So anyway, back to the whole ‘Mikasa is obsessed with me’ thing. Can you elaborate?”

______________________________________________________________________________

“Damn dude, the elephant in the room was crazyyyy,” Connie tells Jean as soon as they leave the room. 

Jean cocks a confused eyebrow at Connie. “I don’t think I’m following.”

“Armin?”

“Well, yeah, he clearly wasn’t interested in talking about the girl he liked which was fine I just think-”

Connie clears his throat and side eyes Jean. 

“What?” Jean asks, completely oblivious. 

“Try your other sentence again.”

“He clearly wasn’t interested in talking about the girl he liked?”

Connie cringes. “Imma stop you right there. See what’s wrong with that sentence?”

“Imma be so for real with you right now, I couldn’t give two shits about a grammar lesson.”

“Not a grammar lesson, Jean. You and Eren really are insanely stupid.”

“Do not put me on the same pedestal as him. Anyway, care to explain or are we going to continue to be weirdly vague and ominous?”

“You ever thought about your sexuality?” Connie asks. 

Jean has to stop walking to process what Connie had just asked. “My… what? No! I like girls, Connie.”

A long beat of silence follows as Connie waits for Jean to keep talking. 

“Though I guess some boys can be really pretty… but like a select few. Like in a feminine, long hair, bright eyes kind of way.”

Connie frowns, his eyebrows raised. “Alright…” 

“But no, yeah I’m completely straight.”

Sasha walks up, a bag of chips in her hand and she smiles at the two boys. “Hey guys! What’re we talking about?”

Jean responds with “titans” at the same time as Connie says “Jean’s sexuality”. Jean stares daggers into Connie and Sasha laughs. 

“Is he finally coming to terms with the fact that he’s bisexual?”

“I’m bi-what? No no, the fuck I’m not. Is this a common topic?”

“Between Sasha and I? Yeah! But it’s just an exclusive topic between us so don’t worry. No one else suspects a thing. Except everyone.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jean starts panicking and sweating. 

Sasha smiles. “What is the expression again? ‘The closet is made of glass’! I think most people… figure as much.”

Jean facepalms and aggressively rubs his eyes. “My street cred can’t take another hit you guys.”

“What street cred?” Both Sasha and Connie ask at the same time, then start laughing.  

“You guys are psychopaths,” Jean mumbles, picking up his pace to be in step with Connie and Sasha. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“Which one’s that?” Connie asked, laying on the grass next to Armin and looking at the stars. 

“The Big Dipper, I already told you that one.” Armin laughs. It was very rare he got to spend one on one time with Connie but he found himself enjoying it a lot. 

“Which one’s your favorite?”

“Mm, honestly it’s hard to choose but maybe-”

“What are you guys doing out here?” Armin gets interrupted by Jean appearing, holding a low light. 

“Oh hi, Jean! Armin was telling me about the stars and the constellations,” Connie said, sitting up. Armin joined Connie and watched as Jean walked closer to them. 

“Mind if I sit?” Jean asked. 

Armin was hoping that the light Jean was holding was too low to see the blush creeping on his cheeks. “No, not at all. Join us.”

“Armin was just telling me about the Little Dipper-”

“Big Dipper,” Armin corrected. “It’s really hard to see the Little Dipper from here.”

Jean watched as Armin spoke, his eyes scanning his face in the low light. 

“Why’s that?” Jean asked. 

“Well, it’s because of the way we’re positioned. So basically from our…”

Jean tried to force himself to focus on what Armin was saying but he was having a hard time. He was watching Armin’s face light up, talking about something he was so passionate about. He was watching Armin brush the hair out of his face every time a small gust of wind came. He was watching Armin’s blue eyes darting across the sky as he explained what he talked about. He was watching as Armin’s Adam’s apple bobbed when he spoke and-

“So does that make sense?” Armin asked, snapping Jean out of his thoughts. 

“Um… yeah totally.”

Armin and Connie laughed. “You didn’t understand a single thing he said, did you?”

Jean frowned. “You guys have fun out here. I need to head to bed.”

“That rhymed!” Connie pointed out as Jean stood up. 

“Goodnight guys,” Jean said awkwardly as he left. 

Armin feels his face fall, disappointed. “What was that about? Did I say something?”

Connie glanced at Armin. “Both you and Jean are really stupid, aren’t you?”

Armin’s mouth drops. “What the hell, Connie. That was uncalled for!”

A beat of silence follows. “Armin? Are you gay?”

“Okay, that’s enough. Let’s go to bed.”

“No, sorry, that didn’t come out right.” Connie giggles. “Come out, get it, it’s a gay joke-”

Armin sighs and bites his lip. “Connie, I don’t know if I am. And only Eren knows so if you tell anyone I will hurt you. Or no, I won’t but I know Eren will for me.”

Connie glances over Armin’s face, curiously. “You like J-”

“It’s time for bed,” Armin said, cutting him off and standing up. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Armin knocks on Commander Hange’s door early the next morning. After a few seconds, he hears their voice say “please come in!”

Armin walks into the unbelievably messy office and notices both Commander Hange and Commander Erwin in the office. 

“Oh, I can come back, it seems this is a bad time,” Armin mumbles. 

“No it’s perfectly fine for us,” Erwin chirps. 

“It’s actually a bad time for me. See, you are here. Wait no, I didn’t mean it like that it’s just-”

“Have a seat, Armin,” Hange says, pulling a chair next to them and Erwin. “What did you need?”

“I needed your advice on something… personal,” Armin mumbles. 

“I’m also your commander, I can give you personal advice,” Erwin informs, nodding. 

“Well, Hange has personal experience with this so I feel as though you might not understand.”

“Try us,” Hange says. “Tea? Coffee?”

Armin shakes his head and bites his lips. “How did you know you wanted to use they/them pronouns?” Armin blurts out. 

Erwin raises his eyebrows and suddenly becomes very uncomfortable. Hange lets out a small laugh in response. 

“Honestly, it’s just how it came about. It was more of a feeling than a knowing. When those emotions and feelings become so intense about something, I suppose.”

Armin nods. 

“Well, whatever your um… gender or pronouns or… whatever you want to be referred to as, we will make sure that the-”

“Commander Erwin, all due respect, don’t hurt yourself. I’m not changing my pronouns.”

Erwin glances around awkwardly. “Um… okay, then I’m even more confused.”

“I think I’m gay.”

Hange smiles. “Well, Erwin will actually be a lot more helpful about this topic!”

“Hange, Levi and I are not gay.”

“No one said anything about Levi,” Hange points out. 

Armin sits there awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands. “This was a bad idea…”

“No it wasn’t, Armin. Thank you for coming to us,” Erwin says. 

“Is it Eren?”

Armin gapes. “No, absolutely not!”

“Connie?” Armin hadn’t expected Erwin to participate in the guessing. 

“You guys please-”

“So that’s a no…” Erwin mentally notes. 

“Omg! I know who it is!” Hange calls out. “It’s Je-”

“SHUT UP!” Armin yells, blushing aggressively. “Please keep it down, Commander. I'm still figuring everything out.”

Erwin and Hange nod, looking between the two of them. “You should talk to him,” Hange says, breaking the silence. 

“I know… I just don’t know what to say. He likes Mikasa.”

Erwin taps his fingers against his leg. “I wouldn’t make assumptions until you talk to him. Just a recommendation.”

Armin thinks about the Commander’s words and bites his lip. “Thank you two for the help… I’m going to go… ponder this all.”

Armin salutes the Commanders goodbye and leaves Hange’s office in a rush. As he’s going down a narrow hallway he bumps into someone. Someone taller than him. Someone-

“Jean!” Armin says surprised. Jean glances up. He was reading a book. “You’re reading?”

“NO!” Jean blurts out and makes to hide the book behind his back but fails and drops it. 

“‘Constellations and Astronomy’,” Armin reads the title of the book on the ground. He picks it up and hands it back to Jean. “Why are you….”

Armin can’t quite tell if he’s making it up, but he swears he sees a blush creeping onto Jean’s cheeks. “I wanted to understand what you were talking about last night.”

“Why are you embarrassed about that?”

“I-I’m not!” he says defensively. Armin smiles and hands the book back to Jean.

“Tonight’s supposed to be a clear night again. I… could show you more constellations?” Armin offers. 

Jean bites his lip nervously. “Like just us?”

“It can be if that’s your preference?”

“I-I’ll see you tonight then, Armin,” Jean says quickly. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Armin got there exceptionally early, his nerves betraying him. He was laying on the lawn, reading a book in an attempt to calm himself down when Jean arrived. 

“Hey!” Jean said, smiling. He laid down next to Armin. “You’re here a lot earlier than I thought?”

“So are you,” Armin admits, laughing. 

“I didn’t want to show up late and make a bad impression,” Jean says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It’s not like this is a date, Jean.” Armin finds himself looking away from the other boy as he says that. 

“No, I know!” Jean blurts out defensively. “It’s just that I like you… woah no. Not like, like like you, I just enjoy your company. But not in like a romantic sort of way, it’s just I. Anyway, stars are cool!” Jean rambles. 

Armin fidgets awkwardly. Connie is Jean’s best friend, Armin shouldn’t be surprised that Connie told Jean how Armin felt. 

“I can’t believe Connie told you,” Armin mumbles. 

“Connie told me what?” Jean says. 

“That I- wait, Connie didn’t tell you anything?”

Jean narrows his eyes, skeptically. “No…? But now I want to know.”

Armin sits quietly, watching the stars start to peak out on the skyline. He went back to the conversation he’d had this morning with the Commanders. He couldn’t just assume something without asking him. But how the hell would Armin even begin that conversation?

“You know the conversation we had about crushes?” Armin says slowly, still looking away from Jean. 

Jean locks his jaw. He doesn’t know why, but he’s suddenly really nervous. “Yes I do.”

“And you talked about how hot you found Mikasa and-”

“Okay let me cut you off there. Just because I find Mikasa hot, doesn’t mean I’m romantically attracted to her or… have a crush on her or whatever.”

Armin falls silent. “You don’t like Mikasa?”

Jean thinks for a moment, realizing this is the first he’s admitted this out loud, even to himself. “No, I don’t think I do. I think I like someone else.”

Armin fidgets again. “Then who do you like?”

“I want you to finish your sentence first.”

“Well what I’m going to say depends on who you like so I feel as though you should go first.”

“No, I’m not interested in going first, Armin. You started talking first anyway!” 

Armin runs his hands along his face, distressed. “Jean, you’re making this so difficult.”

“You’re worried we like the same person, aren’t you?”

“So unfortunately, that’s not mathematically possible, though I would love for that to be the case.”

Jean’s eyes widen. “Armin do you… like me?”

Armin swallows and finally makes eye contact with Jean for the first time in the whole conversation. “Jean, I’m so sorry I know you’re straight and it’s awkward and I-”

Jean cuts Armin off by grabbing his throat and pulling him into a kiss. Armin’s eyes are wide as Jean does that, their lips against each other. Jean has his eyes closed, one hand around Armin’s throat, the other dancing through Armin’s long hair. Armin is frozen, nervously, only observing the licorice-like taste on Jean’s lips. Jean pulls away for a second. 

“You taste like mint tea,” he observes to Armin. 

Armin is still basically frozen in place, barely able to comprehend what is going on. The red in his cheeks is so prominent in the dark night that it’s embarrassing. 

“I’m sorry, Armin, I should have asked-”

Armin wraps his arms around Jean’s neck and kisses him again. This time Armin finds himself closing his eyes, moving against Jean’s licorice lips, his tongue gliding against the cracks in his lips. Armin laces his hands through Jean’s long hair, biting at him. Jean’s large hands are holding Armin’s waist steady as they kiss in the dark grass. 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD SASHA WE MADE IT HAPPEN!” 

Jean and Armin dart apart as quickly as humanly possible and try to act like nothing was going on. They notice Connie sprinting across the lawn to where they imagine Sasha to be standing. Jean stands up and darts to follow Connie and Armin rolls his eyes, standing up slowly and following those two. 

By the time they catch up with each other, Connie and Sasha are giggling in the barracks and Jean is yelling. 

“We told you!” Sasha and Connie chimed. 

“No this is not your doing, just because Armin and I kissed doesn’t mean you can take credit for-”

“You and Armin kissed?” Eren asks, standing in the doorway of the barracks with Mikasa. Mikasa smiles at that statement and they walk in the room.

“TWICE!” Connie yells. 

“TWICE?! ARMIN WHAT?” Eren yells. Mikasa grabs Eren’s arm before he can charge either Armin or Jean… or both. 

Armin stands in the middle of the room, face on fire. “Yes?” 

“Congratulations,” Mikasa says, pulling at her scarf. 

“Commander Hange and Erwin will be thrilled,” a low voice from outside the barracks chimes. All the kids turn and notice Levi standing outside the door with a broom. “They’ve been talking about it all day.”

“Oh my god, not you too Captain Levi!” Armin says, distraught. Levi offers a head nod and walks away. “Everyone please chill out. This happened two minutes ago. It’s going to take some time for all of us. And in the end, it doesn’t concern you guys. This is about Jean and I.”

Jean glances at Armin as he says that and smiles. Armin smiles back. 

“AWW!” Sasha and Connie squeal out. 

“This is fucking disgusting,” Eren mumbles, turning away. Mikasa smiles again and pats Eren’s head in condolence. 

“I HEARD THE NEWS ARMIN!” Hange screams, running into the barracks.

[pickypickypeak]

I am curious what your take is on this "star boy the shape shifter" after seeing your nice reply to that clown. Even if the idea remained I have a funny feeling about it in my spirit.

Thank you for the ask!! People will cling on anything just to hate on another Disney movie (without even watching it nor caring about Disney in the first place lol), they think it makes them look cool I guess?

Honestly, I like the concept of human Star. I know we don’t know for sure if he was gonna be a love interest, even though the demo version of At All Costs strongly makes me think so. Even having him as a platonic friend to Asha, not necessarily a love interest, had potential in my opinion, but an old fashioned love story would have been nice for the Disney 100th (we arguably don’t have one since Tangled). Especially the shapeshifting part would have been so fun to see in animation! I’m imagining some sort of fusion between Maui and Jack Frost lmao

HOWEVER, unlike some people who, clearly, are just in love with the aesthetic of it and were searching for yet another reason to sh*t on Disney, I’m not PISSED at the writers for changing that. First of all I’m pretty satisfied with what we got: as I said previously, I definitely don’t consider Wish the BEST Disney movie, but still a quite enjoyable one with nice characters, animation, and music. Secondly, we don’t know the full original story, we don’t even know if they had one when Starboy was considered. Maybe it didn’t work, maybe they were just exploring ideas and some concepts of him as a human were made. It’s not like this is the first time a cool scrapped concept appears in an art book lol, Disney art books are filled with those.

Also, I feel like people need to understand that it’s perfectly fine to say “you know what this would have been cool. I’m making a fic/fanart/headcanon” instead of immediately going “oh my goddd!!! this would have been SO much cooler than the actual movie, which I haven’t seen, based on this specific scrapped concept art and some ai art I’ve seen on tiktok!!!” I know it’s not EVERYONE acting this way but, sorry, most complaints I’ve seen are coming from these people lol. Fortunately I’ve also seen a few comments from people who genuinely wonder what the movie would have been like if they went with Starboy without making tragedies, as well as people making fanarts out of creativity and not hate for the actual movie (which is not deserved come on. You can dislike it ofc but it’s not some immoral monster like some people paint it).

So that said, I’m glad people are having fun exploring concepts and making fanarts, I’m all for it! Long post but I took an opportunity to express all my thoughts on the topic lol

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

I love your writing!! :3 may I request the Seduce Me boys with an actor S/O? ^^

Thank you so much!! I love this idea!!

Warnings: none, just fluff

Navigation!! / Masterlist!!!

James:

he's very understanding that your schedule is all over the place

he also knows that you want the relationship to be private, you tell him you don't want him to be a victim of the media and he agrees

though he knows press and publicity wouldn't bother him, he knows it clearly bothers you

You two spend time together when you aren't filming, and sometimes if you're on set and nearby, he'll visit you with food, which forces you to take a break

He really likes watching you on screen, he feels like you become a different person, he likes seeing the people you could be

really helpful when it comes to practicing your lines

he's surprisingly really good at acting, sometimes you joke he could be an actor too

Erick:

He was probably a fan before you two started dating

When he met you he tried really hard to keep his cool, and for the most part her did, pretty calm

but he did ask you out on the spot

thank the heavens he has good looks because you said yes

and now you two are happily dating :)

he likes helping you decide what rolls you do and don't take

he's also a drama queen, so he helps you practice your lines and go through scenes

helps a lot in hair and makeup, his critiques are always appreciated

your relationship is known to the public, but you both keep it as private as possible

he doesn't mind the publicity, as long as they don't cross boundaries and make you uncomfortable he's okay

you also model for his boutique ;)

Sam:

this man did not have a clue that you were famous

when you told him he thought you were pranking him

until he saw you on TV and was like oh shit she was serious

watches your movies over and over

he'll ask you to act out scenes in front of him

is just here for moral support

hates the paparazzi, he thinks they're annoying and rude

since he's a cop he tells them they'll get sued for trespassing on private property which usually works

he'll go with you to movie premiers and release parties, he thinks they're entertaining

Matthew:

you guys probably make tiktoks together

he's your biggest fan

dm'd you one day and didn't think you'd actually answer, but you did and now you two are together

he'll act out scenes with you, on and off set

he also watches your movies so much he'll quote your character regularly

heaven forbid you're in a movie that's a remake of a book he's read

he will be OVER THE MOON about it

overall just super supportive and really loves you

he's always there if you get too stressed and need a break

feels like the paparazzi is a bit annoying, but he knows they're only doing their jobs so he tries not to argue too much

he'll usually stop if you stop, sometimes you guys pose, sometimes you ask for space, depends on the day

Damien:

such a sweetheart

you were shooting outside for a movie, and a coffee truck was there, damien thought it was open to the public but when you asked if he was an extra he just said ' no, i'm human...'

cue you laughing your ass off, you thought it was the funniest thing in the world

it was also nice he didn't know who you were exactly

until he saw you put a wig on and was like 'oh you're that actress'

he tries not to make a big deal out of things

watches you act on set during his free time

he loves how immersed you get in your character and how well you can pull it off

feels like the paparazzi need to find new jobs :/, they make him anxious, he hates them

he'll bring little snacks and coffee to your trailer and help clean it up when filming is done for the day

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Nancy Spudgen

Absolutely love this woman and I’ve just done a podcast on my Spotify and cherry info dump, please feel free to listen about how strong women are often degraded and major feel not good and Nancy features in his episode along with Courtney Love Margot Robbie and many of us, to get it right otherwise it’s not right and I’d put a video recently as well on my TikTok about how much people hated Nancy and describing it and I honestly feel and I’m not just rubbing this in that if people got which is just describe me and many people would hate me also, I have just been by my neighbours selling math which is a drug. We don’t even get over here., I literally leave my house twice a week to go to the pharmacy with my mother and my my mother is the one who helps me. I support dogs also., in fact I told my landlord I was assaulted here at the time I said can I have a new property? Can I go somewhere else? He didn’t help me and maybe, but the other neighbours haven’t been here as long as he’s never had a problem with me at all I’ve never given him anything to be annoyed about. It’s just my paranoid neighbour, hasn’t been here for months and then not my face but I have always had this thing thing where I can tell when people don’t like me and it is quite often which is, and this is how I feel. Nancy must’ve felt a lot of her life maybe Nancy didn’t care but I guess deep down that she probably did I mean she was a deep Pisces a double Pisces at that Pisces rising and Pisces with a Gemini moon, this woman suffered whole life and she only lives till 20 she said she even predicted the fact that she wouldn’t live past the 21st birthday🌑 and her mother even knew that she wasn’t, she was born into this world where the mother couldn’t hold her for days born with the umbilical cord wrapped round her neck and which caused brain damage, and then these men from the UK who are working class have the right to this woman some skank who comes from middle-class Jewish background not that I’m saying classes to do with it but it’s just the irony of it,

Her family in fact especially her mum because I’ve read her book were disgusted by wishes they didn’t think he was talented at all and I tend to agree with him. He is not a very talented musician in fact Courtney Love and being a talented version of silly Nancy Nancy is talented in the way of spotting things and realising things are going to be a success so she would’ve made a good manager and like business woman if she’s gone down a different path or even in the music industry it doesn’t have to be she had it where her mind was behind her body so she got talk guitar and she found it really frustrating because she couldn’t because her mind was behind her body. Her body was growing fast as a child scream murder literally every day and when her youngest sibling came along which was another girl she absolutely hated it and treated the younger sibling really bad! then she had a younger brother so she actually didn’t treat that badly. Maybe it was because he was a boy. I’m not too sure but the household get her away because it was just easier than having to go through her mood swings anyway once she moved to the UK, they barely saw her. They spoke to her on the phone every day and she was very close to her mother.

But from the ages of about 19 she was just gone that was it they did see her back-and-forth and when they said at night she moved to New York Nancy being from Philadelphia they did see them from time to time but said what a bad way they were she said talks about one time how they met met them on the train platform and how everybody was staring at them and they looked really out of place. They both like translucent and really white and they just didn’t look very well and everyone was staring at them and they weren’t even aware of it at the time. She said that Nancy said we’re just like any other couple and that said try to act like her son and called her mother., himself didn’t have a very good mother, his mother was a drug addict and his drug dealer. A lot of the time gets blamed for her addiction but one he’s older and his mother was already an addict so people will get your stress and read. I can’t live like this anymore by Deborah Spudgen

[tumblydovereviews]

In Defense of Caillou

Growing up, my family was one of the very few who weren't avid members of the Caillou hate wagon. It was, and still is, one of my dad's favorite shows that I watched as a kid, and he was genuinely surprised when I revealed to him all the hate the show has managed to amass. I watched plenty of Caillou as a kid, and I'm happy to report that I came out perfectly normal, if not a bit energetic for my age.

Yes, Caillou is not a perfect show by any means. With the characters having little-to-no personality outside of existing in this hairless child's kingdom, annoying voices, and the infamous tantrum scenes, it's no wonder why this show has become so hated, and still is to this day. But I don't think I'm being too generous when I say that Caillou has some merit to it that I feel is overlooked by the general public.

Contrary to public belief, Caillou isn't actually a lonely cancer patient or an alopecia victim- he is actually based off a French book series that originally depicted him as a baby rather than a toddler. To make sure kids could still recognize him even with the age increase, it was decided that Caillou would remain bald. In my personal opinion, I think the creators made the right call. Young kids are still learning how to recognize differences, and chances are if Caillou did have hair, the sudden change in appearance would be overwhelming. It may be weird to us older people, but to kids, keeping Caillou as recognizable as possible was a serviceable move.

A lot of people tend to forget that Caillou is a four-year-old, which is surprising considering that it is established in the literal first line of the theme song (I'm just a kid whose four.) Being four, Caillou is destined to have tantrums, moments where he acts bratty and less than a saint. The real issue comes with the lack of emphasis on condemning the behavior and instead focusing on solving rather than learning. Caillou's parents are the original permissive parents, and one could compare them to the overly gentle parents that exist on TikTok. They rarely call out their son when he does act out and instead dismiss his behavior to the side. The 2020s revival series does a much better job at balancing gentle fairness with firmness. When Caillou or Rosie misbehave, they are scolded for it while also steered in the right direction in an imaginative way, arguably more creative than Boris or Doris' tactics in the original show ever amounted up to being.

Caillou has surprisingly great representation for a preschool show in the 90s, especially in terms of disability and other medical conditions. The show features episodes spotlighting deafness, Down syndrome, autism, wheelchair usage, and even Type 1 diabetes. The episodes in particular talk mainly about how the chronically ill/disabled character is still able to function perfectly normally, even with the condition they have. As a diabetic myself, the episode Emma's Extra Snacks always stood out to be, even before I was officially diagnosed. Diabetes representation and the stigma surrounding it is an issue that not many pieces of media discuss, and I'm happy that Caillou has the courage to tackle a subject that can and has been botched so easily.

And let's not forget the puppet segments, arguably the best part of Caillou. These puppet segments focused on three of Caillou's furry companions: Gilbert the cat, Rexy the T-Rex, and Teddy the teddy bear as they go on miscellaneous adventures around Caillou's house. My personal favorite of the trio was Gilbert and his 'odes.' The segments, while on the more basic side, provide a good enough distraction from Caillou's escapades, even if only for five minutes, before we were forced to go back to the bald boy's basic ballads.

While writing this post, I came up a post online asking if people would rather have their kids watch Caillou or Skidibl Toilet. If faced with a decision like this in real life, I'd turn on Caillou in an instant. Caillou has done a lot of bad, but deep down, we can't forget that the show's main intention, no matter how botched it ended up turning out, was to teach kids about life. I would much rather live in a world with mildly annoying preschool shows than brain rot which serves no purpose but to gradually disintegrate a person's cognitive functions.

He's just a kid who's four, and each day he grows some more, so I think that we need to start growing on him, just a smidge more.

[womenstruation]

There are many occasions I can remember in my early childhood of not wanting to be Black.

I was four or five, in nursery school. We were being taught to describe ourselves, “you should say whether you’re fair or dark in complexion” the teacher would say. I recognised those words from my story books. Fair was what princess were, dark was what the witches were. I was fair.

My teacher and I would argue over it. She would insist I put down dark, I wouldn’t. I knew I was meant to be fair.

On another occasion, a friend of my mums got a new camera from America. Us children excitedly went to his house to see it. It was silver and sleek and had something I’d never seen before- filters.

You could be purple or black and white or have glasses or hats you weren’t really wearing. You could also be white.

When I saw my pale face in the small screen. I smiled. I was elated. I spoke in the voice I’d heard from Disney and stared for hours at my proper self. I cried when we had to go home that day.

On another occasion, my parents were debating moving to Europe. I must have been around 5 or 6. I begged to go. Going to Europe also meant getting braids. I wanted those tiny ones that you never plaited all the way. In Blonde. Long and straight. In Europe, without the horrid sun, I was sure I would turn white. We didn’t go. I stayed Black.

At ten, for my big double digits, I could finally get a sew in. The hair was straight and long, down to my belly button. When I went to school the next day, everyone said I looked like an American. I cried when I had to take it out.

Eventually I grew older. I knew I was stuck in this Black body. But I could change it. We were ten in secondary school and I made a friend. She told me about this soap and cream. She used to be like me she said but now she was white. I knew I couldn’t ask my parents for this soap so she agreed to sneak me some. Ultimately, I was too scared and so I said no.

When I was eleven, I got my first phone. I delved into the world of social media instantly and learnt of a world outside my own. Even with everything I could try, I couldn’t be white I’d tell myself but maybe I could get close enough. I would scroll through instagram and YouTube and pick women and try my best to act like them, if I couldn’t look like them. I used to go on wikihow and learn how to do their accents.

At thirteen, I discovered social justice. I was thrust into a world of anti racism, of feminism, of gay rights, of trans rights activism. I heard stories of little boys who always wanted to be fairies and little girls who hated having long hair. It felt familiar. I read and read and watched and watched and stopped. I wasn’t happy but I could be.

At fourteen, I stopped relaxing my hair. At fifteen, I joined the Afro-Caribbean society. At sixteen, I called myself pro-Black. At eighteen, I stopped going by my western name. At nineteen, I remembered the five year old me. I read stories and listened to TikToks and scrolled through Twitter and kept seeing her. I wondered how her life would have turned out if she had been allowed to keep being unwell. I cried.

At twenty one, I am proud to be a Black woman.

[speakoutmymind]

Meet the girls - Pt. 3

Spotify Playlist

Nina (by Hozier) x Sofia (by Clairo) – Nina is with her blue eyes, long blond hair and sweet pastel clothes the girl every bad boy dreams of owning. What they don’t know is that this girl can pull your heart out your chest with only one look. If you try to mess with her, she will play a different game with you, you will never forget. She loves to go for long walks, self made clothes and Prosecco. – Sofia is a Social Media Star. She knows how to act and talk in font of a camera and loves to be creative with Apps like Instagram and TikTok. She didn't forgot where she comes from but also uses her knowledge of people to get the girls in a few clubs and restaurants. She is outgoing and knows well how to deal with the fame she got.

Carmen (by Lana Del Rey) x Valerie (by Amy Winehouse) – Carmen is the queen of Grunge. Her husband is James Dean and her mother Lana Del Rey. She knows how to act mystery and dark but behind all of this facade is a creative women with a broken heart. She will never leave the house without a perfect eyeliner and her cigarettes. Beside this she is only home in a crowded room with people only paying attention to her from a far. A direct interaction with strangers is nothing she prefers. – Valerie is trapped in her 2000s. She knows how to run a party and act like a bitch in front of people how expect her to be like a cliché. She has a problem with alcohol and even she knows and her friends take care of her she doesn’t mind.  Every day is a party for her and since she stoped searching for a real love, she jumps from bed to bed to find herself in every man and male attention she can get.

Rhiannon (by Fleetwood Mac) x Rosemary (by Edison Lighthouse) – Rhiannon is the kind of friend who will first check your tarot cards before giving you a honest advice from life. With all her little spells, mixtures and witchy crafted shit she is your biggest supporter or your biggest and strongest enemy. She knows exactly how to turn you into a princess or the frog. – Rosemary is a little fluffy puppy. At least she acts like that. The world has only happiness for her and around her. Beside this women you can only picture good times a day. She is up for any adventure in the natural and every traditional city where you can make great memories.

Iris (by The Goo Goo Dolls) x Noelle (by Wheatus) – Iris is loving about music, books and writing. She loves to go to concerts, meet up with her friends, turn a day down in a park to read a book, go out with the dog and then hurry home to write on her own book. She is creative but unsteady in everything she does. She has bad coping mecissims and even she knows, she will not change them. – Noelle is, to say it a nice way, a punk kid. New Wave, Raves, party and alcohol are where she feels home but also a n night at home with a classic movie like 10 things I hate about you or mean girls is on her agenda. She is trustfully but sometimes a bit to impulsive. 

[wtfxedenxx]

☆ —— look who’s joining the infinite tour! only SONG EDEN, who is the RHYTHM GUITARIST of TIDAL. i’ve heard whispers that the 28 year old is pretty FREETHINKING but lowkey SELF-INDULGENT. also, doesn’t he remind you of PARK SEONGHWA?

Hey whats up hello pals! It’s Emma (jooha, & danbi mun), once again bringing you my son, Eden. HERE’S a little pinterest board if you’re interested. Please show him some love and if you’d like to plot then like this post and I will come to you! :D

Little run down:

Eden grew up in New York with a single mother. He never met his dad and his mother didn’t like to talk about him much. Around his mother he liked to pretend it never bothered him since his life never felt like it was missing anything. but theres a part of him still hurt he’d walked out on them. 

His mother worked at a public library and when he wasn’t at school he was losing himself in the stacks of books while his mother worked or getting into a little trouble with friends. Life was easy. It was simple and he had no complaints.

Everything changed when his mother passed away due to illness when he was 9. Eden was forced to move to Seoul with his grandmother which he only really knew from speaking to her over the phone. Although he didn’t know her much, he took comfort in the stories she would tell him about his mother from when she was little.

When he was old enough, Eden would help his grandmother at her cafe after school. That’s where he was first found. Scouts had come in for a drink and took an interest in his good looks.

The idol life wasn’t something he’d dreamed of, but after watching his grandmother work endlessly day in and out he decided to try it out. He wanted to relieve some of the burden.

She got to see him debut but sadly passed away a few years after. That’s when he became a bit unhinged.

He no longer had any family or really any reason to work towards something. He became reckless. The once good boy that did everything he could for his family was gone. Drinking and drug use became a regular thing for him despite the consequences.

Tidbits:

group problem child. probably has had the most scandals. some true. some not.

undercover soft boy with a lot of feelings and doesnt know what to do with them

POOR COPING MECHANISMS !!

has a tendency to speak before thinking so dont be surprised if he accidentally offends you

also plays the piano. self taught

bi king

has a sweet tooth. always carrying around candy

lost track of how many tattoos he has. some piercings. 

can make the best coffee you’ve ever had

likes keeping active on the bands social media. often posting small tiktoks of him playing kinda like THIS 

loves writing. probably has a bunch of ideas written down on his arm when he cant find paper and is too dumb to remember he can put it in his phone notes

has a love for photography and capturing a fleeting moment before its gone. his favorites are polaroids 

dog person but not the kind that hates cats. cats are cool in his book

possible connections:

sneaky link, someone hes fake dating for pr, exes on good terms/bad terms, confidant, besties, drinking/smoking buddy, good influence. acting costar, fellow mcs, anything rly im open to all ideas!

[evilsaturn]

I’m the biggest cyber stalker in the world and don’t gaf so I frequently check up on people from my past. It’s so fun I completely embrace being nosy. I will forever gossip about everyone I’ve ever met in my entire life with my gf and no one can stop me.

With that being said, most of my ex-friends are still stuck in the same parasocial relationships with k-pop singers that we had in our teen years, but the obsession is so much more intense than ever. I didn’t think it would get so bad when we’re so grown now.. I’m so glad I got out when I did even though it was still late. You can’t tell me this shit isn’t a cult.

The Scorpio who would always imply women that like younger boys are pedophiles is now the women in question. 25, every idol she stans now is younger than her and one of them is even born in 2007. She collects k-pop merch big time now, throws celebration fan events for k-pop groups at cafés, and even lies about her age to her followers so they think she’s a year younger 😭 Genuinely have no clue what difference a year makes but LMAO? Lies about her race too, which is nuts because strangely enough she has a younger sister on stan twitter that just admits she’s white! This bitch pretends she’s Japanese!

The Aries is a full time k-pop TikToker. Kinda successful but she lives in the UK so I don’t even think she’s paid off it..? Stalking her is waaay less interesting though because she’s mega fake on all of her public accounts. Went from one of the most hateful stans you could meet in your life to someone so in love with k-pop you’d mistake her for a shameless Korean fetishist (maybe she is?). She loves every group and idol and goes sooo hard for her faves. Bragging about spending thousands on idols ($700+ on merch in a day… LMAO?), flying to Korea every year, stalking celebs and so much more omg. I’m 90% sure she’s a sociopath or narcissist, but at the same time I’m not sure if someone with those personality disorders could participate in so much celebrity worship? She’s super obsessed with western celebrities too. Her whole life is being a fan… also in her mid 20s. She used to talk about her parents being emotionally stunted or something so maybe she searches for the love she didn’t get from them in celebs, but fuck it’s intense. At the same time I know for a fact she talks crazy about her faves, she has to have an Aries Mercury or something because she just says fucking anything. An odd thing she would always do is stalk a celeb or do whatever she could to get an interaction from them, but then act like it was a burden to her or like she didn’t want it to happen. But yeah I think she has to have one of those personality disorders for sure because I don’t think a normal person is able to just exploit themselves like that in so many ways…or pretend to be someone else FOR FREE!? She also doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings (or when she does, there’s a rationale behind it that sounds out of touch) and she doesn’t care about what people say about her. I genuinely feel like if she read this she would feel nothing. Even if it came from her fave 💀

Lastly, the Aquarius. Sexually harassed and suicide baited her mutuals in the past (including minors) to now obsessing over Korean and Japanese guys all day and following them around the WORLD. Flights booked year round to countries all over Europe and Asia. Super sexual with all of her mutuals to the point she even has a nsfw warning about it in her carrd. But hey, at least she’s warning people now instead of just forcing herself onto them. She’s also mid 20s.

They all have this weird thing in common where they tweet “I work full time to fund my obsession with [insert group]” and it’s sooo strange to me. Thousands of dollars spent on someone else’s happiness, or to feel like they care about you. It’s like when dudes draining their pockets on AI chicks and catfishes on Facebook, not exactly like that but still like what the fuck?? How does this bring you happiness? I never spent nearly as much as them, but how the fuck did it bring me happiness? The shit is so fucking pitiful.

You can also tell they’re aging out reallll bad because one, the Scorpio is lying about her age 😭 but the big one is when you look at their mutuals and who they interact with it’s all people years younger. Their friends (and faves) just get younger and younger because that’s who the kpop audience is.

[progressivemother]

Technology while parenting

Technology, such as YouTube, seems to be in debate among parents in this modern world. Technology and social media have become a part of our everyday lives. Everyone is on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, etc. We all do it. We live in a society now where social media dominates our lives and we have access to it all the time.

The question is how it's affecting our children. Is social media good or bad for kids? I can only speak from my own experience and the debate about YouTube among parents varies. The way I see it is if you let them watch TV then there is nothing wrong with them watching YouTube as long as you are monitoring what they are watching.

YouTube has its benefits, but it also has its vices. I allow my kids to watch YouTube because it has things they are actually interested in, such as how Big Ben works or how cars work. I like to feed into my children's latest obsessions mostly because YouTube can give them an education that neither I nor school can give them. You have to check the videos to make sure they are accurate and choose channels you know have a good reputation for doing videos with actual knowledge.

Here are pros ans cons of YouTube:

Pros:

1. Academic & Learning Resource: From a young age that YouTube can be used as a learning resource. If they are going to be sitting in front of a screen they could be learning something. There are plenty of YouTube channels that will help promote learning from a young age. A benefit is the educational content to help students understand History, Math, Reading, and Science. You don't need to pay extra for a tutor or activity book. You can even ask your kis' teachers what they use. My kids' teachers do use YouTube as another resource for educating.

2. Exploring Their Sense of Identity: YouTube allows kids to explore their interests easily while providing entertainment. They can watch science videos or watch cheesy videos about preteens exploring different personas. Whether we like it or not our kids will find their identities and it is actually good for them.

Kids are able to watch silly videos about some preteen being the jock, the artist, the nerd, the gay guy or whatever other category they are going to eventually meet with when they get to middle school and high school. Exploring their identity and understanding acceptance of others is displayed in these kinds of videos so they are ready for school and the world ahead of them without having a shock.

3. Discover Interests and Talents: YouTube also gives your kids the ability to discover new interests and talents. It helps them realize what they like and don’t like. Many kids learn that they love to dance, sing, or even act. My daughter has found that she enjoys art, dance, and acting. Art in general. She is always making something new or creating some kind of play. She has a ton of dress up items and art items. My son has figured out that he enjoys the rubics cube, working on things like engines and science. We even got him his own tool box and he loves to watch videos on the solar system.

They learn and are constantly developing as they grow up. My son loves trucks just like every boy does, but knowing the purpose of that truck and how they benefit people and the community every day is due to a mix of YouTube and his dad. He knows he wants to design eduactional video games and be a teacher. My daughter understand how to enjoy art of all kinds. She wants to become a graphic designer and sell normal art on the side. The ideas kids get from YouTube gives them the opportunity to develop ideas and pursue their dreams at a much younger age.

Cons:

1. Mature Content: To have to tell my children to choose another video because they shouldn't be watching something can be difficult and can cause some tantrums. The thing I hate is if there is anything political in nature. Kids shouldn't be involved in that. YouTube monitors and tries to keep mature content out, but it is all about the parent’s view of what is considered mature content for their kids. Its up to the parent on how they raise their kids and others shouldn't be involved in that decision. Kids wil grow up and mature are going to want to watch YouTube so instead of shutting them down, talk to them and monitor what they are watching.

2. Stranger Danger: Technology has made it 100X easier for predators to interact with our children so we have to be hyper-aware of what they are watching and doing. Explaining to them about Stranger Danger at the park or walking to school is no longer enough. We have to talk to them about being careful on the internet and social media.

3. It’s Addicting: The truth is that most grown adults are addicted to Social Media so it isn't a stretch to think Kida can get addicted too. The way you can counteract that is to have screen time limits. Make sure to spend time together and take interest in what they are watching. It is no different than watching TV together. Also, plan fun activities where the phone or tablet are not needed. For example, you are going to the park. There is no need to bring their tablet or phone with them because they are going to play. It also helps to get them out of the house as often as possible to promote physical activity. I'm having the kids skip tablet time today and we are going to a place called Drop Zone where they can jump to their hearts content.

I know that everyone has different parenting styles and every child is different. YouTube has expanded their curiosity and has taught them so much that they would never learn in school. Social Media is not going anywhere, but as long as you watch and listen to what they are watching it can be a fun and safe activity for them. It's like riding bikes or jumping on a trampoline. These can have dangers to them but it's great for them to do. It's exercise and it's fun. We can't take everything dangerous out of their lives so let them live, learn, and have fun.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

AUGHHHH MY HEART <3 /pos

Silly:

I’ve never heard of combining ice cream and soy sauce, but strangely I can see NY liking it lmao. He probably uses it to freak out all the other states tbh. He stares into their souls as he eats it, enjoying the fear and confusion in their eyes. And with a smile, he’ll do it again :)

Honestly him stealing other state’s clothes (hoodies, shirts, tank tops, sometimes sweatpants) has always been a headcanon for me and it holds a special place in my heart. I imagine that the bigger clothes make him feel safe and protected 🥺😭 Though one time he stole one of Alaska’s hoodies and it ended up being the equivalent to a weighted blanket. Poor thing was stuck. He also likes to think that the others don’t notice, but they do. And they think it’s cute and wholesome.

Him having a friendship with Loui will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart and I can 100% see them reading picture books together 😭🧡. They’ve probably both made a picture book together at some point tbh. Also- NY seeing a book he thinks Loui would like and bringing it to him for their next We-Can’t-F*ckin-Sleep session? YES PLEASE-

FKSGDKSHDKSHDKSHDKSHDKS HIM PAINTING PARTS OF THE STATES DEPENDING ON WHO HE’S MAD AT IS GREAT 😭😭

Tell me why I read this and instantly thought of those acting TikTok’s where the boys wear towels on their heads to represent women/girls 😭💀 NY is the type to throw his jacket over his head and just randomly run at people to hear them scream and run away. He is quite the silly lil fella.

He probably hides a lot of stuff in his beanie and candy is 100% one of those things 😭 he probably also has a rat chilling up there ratatouille style lmao

Angst:

He is the literal definition of sleep deprived 😭 He can fall asleep standing, hanging upside down, all that. Yet when it comes to him actually having to go to bed and go to sleep, he can’t. He just- can’t. Especially not with the nightmares about the war and abuse, the sh*t load of work, and the fact that he feels as though he doesn’t deserve to take a break. Till eventually, he gets sick and passes out. I can also see him using makeup to hide the fact that he’s tired.

NY literally cannot handle loud noise and if he doesn’t disappear, he’ll have a panic attack in front of everyone. Which would be embarrassing. And he’d be seen as weak. Which he does NOT want

I mean- it’s canon that he’s always stressed, he said it himself. "Ya can’t feel somethin’ that’s always there." Like- AUGH. So when things get too much he goes on a never-ending working spree and locks himself up for a while, barely sleeping, eating or drinking anything that’s not coffee. Also- I hc that he picks at his skin and scratches himself, so he’ll often times have scratches and cuts on his hands as well as bleeding and peeling on his fingertips/nailbeds/sides of his fingers.

HIM BEING ABLE TO COMFORT OTHERS BUT NOT HIMSELF??? ABSOLUTELY- he also probably rejects an help that is offered to him cuz he hates feeling like a burden to his loved ones. Then that’s when the others sic the Midwest, OG13, or probably Loui on him 😭. They make sure that some food is put in his system, but they don’t force-feed him or anything. Instead, they’ll calmly sit with him until he’s finished eating and just talk to him and remind him that they’re there for him if he needs a shoulder to cry on.

NY vanishing to somewhere where he won’t be found is fully accurate lmao. He probably goes to Wyoming the most cuz Wyoming understands him to an extent and understands if he wants to be left alone. Iowa would probably try to take him in like one would a lost a child. All the OG13 and Main 6 keep a VERY close eye on NY, making sure that he’s not hurting himself and helping him if they notice he’s stressed and/or overwhelmed. If it’s during a meeting, they’ll cover his ears and teleport him out of the meeting.

He’s definitely attempted before. Just saying. He still sometimes hopes that maybe the immortality wore off.

This man is definitely a wall puncher and has broken his hand or bruised his hand from doing so (he’s the definition of glass bones and paper skin-). NY seems to be on that line between being afraid of fire and loving fire. Like-"Oooo pretty- but danger- but pretty- but danger- I’m gonna lick it-"

Do you have any silly hc’s and ansgty hc’s for NY?

**it’s fine if not lol**

Hii! Ooo thank you for the ask, and I may have a few of both kinds of hc's for him :D

New York's silly hc's:

-He has tried ice cream and soy sauce together because he read about it in a book and surprisingly, he doesn't hate the combination. (the book is King of Wrath by Ana Huang, which is set in New York)

-I like to think that he tries on the shoes of the bigger states in the statehouse because he finds fun in doing so. New York was wearing Texas's huge dress shoes and tripped on them, and Alaska so happened to be nearby and helped him up, which got Alaska to be the one to first notice this habit of his.

-He and Louisiana read picture books together on nights when they can't go to sleep. Sometimes they're picture books that New York himself wrote, other times they're picture books that New York finds in his local bookstore that he thinks Loui would like.

-Whenever he's angry at a certain state, he paints a portrait of them that portrays them in the ugliest way possible. It could be a painting of the state's face with the ugliest color combos and/or purposefully messed up proportions or he may paint a part of the state that the state considere to be ugly or unattractive (ie. if here were madam at Texas, he'd paint Austin bc TX thinks that Austin is ugly, California w/ Bakersfield, Michigan w/ the border shared between him and Ohio, etc)

-He sometimes likes to wear his coats on his head like a wig and walks around the statehouse as he's doing so. And he likes to style it too: sometimes the coat looks like a whole ass muffin on his head (think of how people with long hair wrap a towel around their hair after a shower). Everyone else thinks he looks insane, but he's happy doing it for some reason.

-He hides candy in his beanie and nobody knows.

New York's angsty hc's:

-He has a terrible relationship with sleep. He can't sleep because of flashbacks of his past, he can't sleep because of his workload, and sometimes he doesn't sleep on purpose just to punish himself.

-He likes to lock himself in his room when the statehouse gets too loud. It reminds him of his past again (with all the wars and stuff) and he prefers not to interact with anyone at all for a few days to deal with it.

-[TW: self-harm] Whenever he does something that doesn't reach his own standards, he hurts himself in many ways. He indulges in his never ending workload, he stays up all night, he doesn't eat, and he can't talk to anyone without screaming at them (which hurts NY bc he doesn't like hurting his loved ones).

-He likes to cook for others but rarely finds the will to cook for himself sometimes, much less eat. It's the same way with comforting others: he always is the first to try and uplift somebody yet he can never uplift himself when he needs to.

-He likes to disappear whenever he gets too overwhelmed. The fellas in the Northeast always try and look for him whenever he does so, but New York always finds a spot where he knows he can't be found (usually in Wyoming and Iowa since they're usually forgotten, and both states seem peaceful to me), so they just wait for him to return home hoping he's okay. There was an occasion where he came back with cuts and bruises all over his body to the point he was hospitalized, and though the northeast states thought it was bc of a fight, it turned out to be self-inflicted injuries. The northeast now keep an eye out for any sign that NY's stressed out/overwhelmed so they can go talk to him before he decides to disappear again.

-[TW: suicidal thoughts] He likes to think about not being immortal & what life would be like if only he were to be able to die like normal humans. Sometimes he doesn't have the will to live and finds it so hard to accept that he can't just die. This fic by @xechoecho88x is a great story that ties along with this specific headcanon if you're interested in reading something like this :D

-He has a severely damaged wall designed for when he needs to let out some anger. To go along the lines of this, he likes fire and burns random things to keep himself at ease. The only thing that he regrets burning is an old necklace given to him by a friendly old lady he met & befriended in upstate. Her death took a toll on him and he burned the only thing that reminded him of her so he wouldn't mourn as much, but all he feels now is regret.

That's all I have, I hope you like it :D Thank you sm again for your ask, I appreciate it so much <3