#i hate the american fans sometimes

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 2 thoughts

ah, this episode! i have heard it is very scary. so i’m curious to see how creepy it can be. usually what gets me the most is body horror, at least so far. 

i’m really not a horror fan so i’m interested to see if this will push my limits or just be kinda silly. remember that evil AI in like s1 episode 8? and when it was unplugged it said “noooo, brad :(“ or something like that? yeah that one just made me giggle lol

(author's note after seeing the episode: what...)

(additional author's note: read to the end to see why i think this episode might be actually about the civil war's long-term consequences)

how far we have progressed since then! 

let us begin!!!

we open with a storm and some scary music. pretty intense for the first few seconds. oh, now someone is giving birth. it is very dark and hard to see but it appears these individuals do not look like your average fellow off the street.

GAG! slurping noises are produced as the baby emerges. birth counts as body horror btw i do NOT make the rules. EUGH the umbilical cord…

(sorry y’all pls take no offense to those who have or desire children someday... it’s just something that makes me feel dizzy to watch but i support your dreams and choices i promise 🙏)

okay, but the baby is crying so that’s usually a good sign right? like better than a quiet baby, i think.

but a bunch of people are leaving after the delivery and i thought they would stick around to do things like look at the baby and see if it is healthy and stuff. but no. they’re leaving. where are they going...

they’re digging a hole?????? WHAT DA HELL. BABY IN THE HOLE??!!!!!! while someone cries terribly. OMG the grief…

WHAT THE HELL???

what have i gotten myself into……

intro time. always gonna think about that tweet regarding scully’s glamour shot on her ID. anyway just in case you forgot the truth IS out there.

so we see some kids in a place called home, pennsylvania, and they’re playing baseball. you know how children are, with their baseball. it’s as serious to them as a senator running a reelection campaign. 

kid knocks the ball over the fence, and onto the property of “the peacocks”. the kids will NOT go get the ball, and instead find a spare. seems they prepared for this, or could maybe find a place that isn’t next to a very scary house to play ball, but i understand spacial constraints.

OH???? the kid is digging his foot in to go swing and…. BLOODY PUDDLE???? THIS MUST BE THE BABY FROM BEFORE????

he backs away as we see a tiny hand in the dirt. that poor kid omfg he must have been traumatized… and his sneakers were so bright and white…..

cutscene to mulder in the field after all the kids have fled! ah, mulder loves his baseball. in fact, he even sniffs it. he’s practicing his pitching LMAOOOO please be serious for FIVE minutes. 

scully is measuring the hole while he does all this. in fact, he is not stopping. it just keeps going while she talks about the angle of the shovel.

she makes some quip about quitting the FBI and becoming a spokesperson for the ab roller, when he SHOVES THE BALL UNDER HER NOSE and says “smell that” THIS MAN IS SUUUUUCH A WEIRDO I LOVE HIM

“it’s perfume. eau de ball” (stupid little mulder smile)

very strong juxtaposition between baby death and a daydreaming mulder, but that is the sort of thing we have come to expect from this show. he seems enchanted.

WAIT! he’s talking about his sister… “all-day pickup games out on the Vineyard” and going down to the beach… no cell phones or faxes… oh man, this baseball has him talking about his family :(

“mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia” <- WELL GET HIM! it is true. he is always making calls and then abruptly hanging up.

feels weird to be smiling like a fool at my screen as these two talk about their lives after seeing the opening scene... but here we are!

“scully, you don’t know me as well as you think you do. you know my work demands that i live in a big city, but if i had to settle down, build a home, it’d be a place like this” 

OHHHHH MY GOSH

1. he has though about settling down and having a life outside of his work, and this is such a character reveal, and i know he wants like a small army of children, and

2. i just KNOW those words are gonna come back and bite him when this place is revealed to be some sort of cult

she says it would be like living in mayberry which i had to google BUT: it is the town from the andy griffith show. ah, i see. so very quaint.

someone pulls up to see them and i paused at just the right time to see that mulder’s shirt is very baggy and living up to my URL, which is good because sometimes i worry it’s a bit TOO niche, but i made it after watching 4 episodes so i’m too attached to change it now. meanwhile, scully’s coat is wonderfully sleek and it’s a fun little contrast.

this is sheriff taylor, who says this is a very small town, and there are no real suspects. mulder asks about the peacocks next door, and the sheriff goes… quiet. apparently three boys lived there, and their parents were hurt in an accident. the sheriff and his team tried to administer care to the parents, but the boys took the bodies home??? that’s. odd.

so these peacocks have no electricity, grow their own food, and… are inbred. the sheriff says they are feeble and sad, and wouldn’t have any idea what they are talking about. which just makes me think they are the prime suspects.

the sheriff is saying that he loves his town, it is quiet and peaceful, and he knew someday it would change when something terrible happened. when he saw “it” in the ground, he knew that day had come. he seems convinced it’s an outsider but also he is purposefully ignoring all the evidence in the other direction. and he wants their help, but he doesn’t want anything to change. 

(i see... this is about the terrible secrets of small towns and the wish to keep everything quiet and preserve an idyllic image rather than make meaningful change)

apparently they were recommended to help out when “the victim” was described, so mulder says that maybe they should go take a look.

and whew, when they cut to a bundle of blankets next to some cans of spam (that look like they’re partially covered to hide the branding?) it’s a lot. it's a lot to handle, for me, emotionally, but i guess that's a fairly normal reaction. the sheriff just pulled the baby right out of the fridge. we also meet a deputy named barney.

they shove poor scully in a tiny bathroom with just a sink in it to do her work, because they don’t want anyone else seeing the autopsy go down. the sheriff says they can’t do it in his office, because everyone knows he never locks his office door, and they’d start rumors. this whole small town thing is starting to seem quite oppressive.

mulder is also here in this tiny closet-like bathroom, and i can feel the claustrophobia from here. despite the lack of space, scully begins.

and she is taken aback, but not as much by the fact that it is a child but that said child “has been afflicted by every rare birth defect known to science”. mulder has his arm on the wall leaning in and watching in a way that is weird for the space.

we only see a few shots of the baby- thankfully, because i don't think i could handle seeing any more of it than we do- but it’s enough to make me go whew, shout-out to the props department for making something that looks like that, because that is how i cope with seeing things on this show that make me nearly faint

she is reciting the various things that this child has been born with, and mulder says that they can probably rule out murder, right? but scully says idk… it looks like it WAS murder, actually. dirt in the nose.

lord, they walk out after doing that and somehow don’t need to like, down some vodka or something to cope. 

“imagine all a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then nature turns so cruel. what must a mother go through?” oh my gosh is scully gonna make me cry…

“apparent not much in this case, if she just threw it out in the trash”, says mulder, while they sit on a bench on he is manspreading like you would not believe. but i assume they are in a tough spot mentally so manspreading is permitted in this situation.

“i guess i was just projecting on myself”, she says, and oh my gosh does scully want kids someday…. stop i’ll cry!! i’ll cry. 

“well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys” he says, rubbing her back.

and i can’t decide if this is funnier if he’s truly and deeply down terrible for her and suggesting subtly that HE could be that man, or if he’s just being a really good pal. so i’m gonna turn around both options in my head for a while and see which sticks.

“what about your family?” “hm? aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the mulder family passes genetic muster” (said with a celebratory flourish of his hands)

oh my gooooooosh i love them both so bad. he is SUCH a nerd. and his constant need to joke about the horrible things… even when they are approaching a serious topic, life ambitions and the desire to start a family, he has to go in there with some sarcasm to avoid getting Too Serious...

see? he has good genes. allegedly. go forth.

but he sobers up, points out that the child they had to just examine is a serious tragedy, and some likely very young parents are probably incredibly scared. but this isn’t really an FBI matter. 10 points to him for being serious for once.

she is brainstorming how such a thing could happen- “now, we all have a natural instinct to propagate” “do we?” <- ace mulder subtext i see you…

scully is convinced that the woman who gave birth to that child did it against her will, and mulder points out that kidnapping is a bureau matter… she seems determined to save someone caught in a horrible circumstance here, and i admire that about her, the sense of justice she has. she gets up to go investigate.

but he calls out: “hey scully- i never saw you as a mother before” <- OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD. i can’t even begin to process that right now. oh my gosh it seems like he has wanted kids SO terribly… but scully never really brought the subject up, which is fine because not everyone wants kids!! but what does it say about her character if she DOES…? i am analyzing.

i hope she is happy someday with whatever she chooses. music is playing as he looks after her. do not for a second think i missed that little musical flourish and gaze combo.

so, they go to the peacock's farm. where they find a chopped off pig’s head on the steps. it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, which must be a testament to the strength of bureau training.

mulder tries to do his usual “enter first and ask questions later” thing, but scully STOPS HIM, saying there is no probable cause.

WHAT!!! for once they did NOT JUST BURST IN!!??? their random entering of places is one of my favorite running gags and for once they didn’t. oh she is serious about this one…

so they just peek inside instead…. and then they get their guns and go inside after seeing a table covered in blood. oh…. the scissors from before…. yes, bloody table = probable cause

there is blood everywhere, and the footprint from the crime scene matches the footprint in blood on the floor. AND they find a bloody shovel. well!!! we know who did it now!!! but… where are they??

it is soooo dark and creepy as they make their way through the house. and someone is WATCHING THEM THE DARK as they investigate. BLEUGH we get an extreme closeup on their eyes…….

i am spooked.

now scully is on the phone with sheriff taylor, who is describing the warrants for the arrest of the peacocks he put out, while mulder slams a TV in their hotel room, trying to get it to work. typical mulder behavior

(i bet they felt a need to incorporate some silly moments to lighten out the heavy heavy heavy content, and honestly i didn't think it would work, but for me it kinda is. don't get me wrong, it's still VERY heavy, but it's not start to finish just trauma like we got in calusari, which stands out to me as being the darkest and least fun episode in the series so far. but let mulder sniff a baseball a little and smack a TV and our agents talk about having a family and it is slightly less overwhelming in terms of tone)

and she brings up the white cadillac they found there but he says get a lot of abandoned cars. damn, who is abandoning a cadillac...

what is this sheriff hiding…?

he pulls out his gun from a locked box, and seems deeply regretful. before he puts it back in the box… hmm…

back at the peacock farm. the brothers are packing what looks like clubs into the cadillac. and i notice how silent and scary the whole thing is… no music whatsoever.

meanwhile, mulder is doing a little dance to try and get the TV working, which scully is smiling at him in a way that implies long term affection and exhaustion. i want to get those gifs and save them upon my blog forever and ever.

he’s trying to watch the knicks game, but as she heads out, he says “goodnight mom”, and she looks… uncomfortable. i mean, it’s a weird thing to say, but still. he says a lot of weird things and she doesn’t always look sort of… hmm. idk, the only phrase that comes to mind is “cut to the quick”. i WILL be analyzing that.

she tries to leave and the lock is broken, so he places a chair underneath, which might do something but like… probably not a ton.

anyway, back to the cadillac, where the brothers are pulling out while listening to music. where are they going….

sheriff taylor is up late at night, “taking one last look around before it all changes”. oh, he loves his town… but it is rotten, like mulder says. AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T LOCK THE DOOR AS THEY COME IN!!! NOOOO!

the brothers are on the move, while scully sleeps and mulder watches a fuzzy documentary on hyenas?? okay. king behavior.

but back at the sheriff’s house, he can hear the brothers approaching, and pulling into his yard. oh no…. he looks out the window and the brothers aren’t there. so did they already get in…?

he’s going for the gun, he says, and they enter his house. and he’s got a baseball bat, but where is the gun! they have clubs! like the kind the bad guys in zelda use!!! they look very very dangerous!

he hears them approach as his wife is under the bed……… and he swings his bat at the intruder, but he is barreled right over, it’s three on one, and they beat him RIGHT AS HIS WIFE SEES THE WHOLE THING FROM UNDER THE BED. and they sniff and sniff and FIND HER UNDER THERE????????

what the fuck. who came up with this…….. that song is still playing as they get in their car and leave. i'm sure the song also has some significance to the meaning of what these guys are doing but tbh i have never heard it before so it's hard to unpack.

the deputy is at the scene of the crime the next day, smoking a cigarette, hands shaking in terror. he had come over to give the sheriff a report… and found them that way.

so the owner of the cadillac was found in baltimore, she had left it behind after running out of gas. this is not a lead in the slightest.

mulder is investigating the scene while scully pulls out files from the crime lab, and it is. well, it is very bad, to put it bluntly. the crime scene is horrific. 

she says that the crime scene messed up the tests on the infant… but mulder proposes that… perhaps each of the brothers were the father? she talks about how babies are made and how that makes no sense, but he proposes that generations of inbreeding could maybe make such a mutation. but she says that isn’t possible, they’d need a female family member and there aren’t any left. hmm...

scully wants to try and trail them right now and go save whoever it was that was forced to give birth, but mulder points out that they are outnumbered and could further endanger the victim. what to do…? i don’t know the answer. 

oh! the deputy barges in and says he’ll take them up there so it’s three against three. and they have guns, which should give them the advantage. okay. shoutout to the deputy.

mulder seems suspicious however, and says his suddenly entry was a bit “too chuck bronson for me”. so yeah, i had to google that too. this chuck fellow is the guy from machine gun-kelly. and NOT that sleazy rapper one. the more you know.

scully is confused, though, because why would they kill the sheriff? he didn’t even investigate them. unless they somehow overheard them talking about issuing the arrest warrants while in their house… and they are operating under the assumption that the brothers were not in the house when they were…. but we know that someone was in hiding!!!

OH! back to the house. one of the brothers declares he is hungry. we finally get a semi-decent look at them, and they are incredibly gruesome. someone is under the bed still…. 

and when they declare that they are “ready”, they strip down. they knew this day- and change- was coming, and all they can do is be ready for it. this is our home. and this is the way it’s gonna stay. 

again, i ask, who came up with this……

the deputy and our agents are on the property, now. deputy wants to come in from the front and let them take the back. a brave thing to offer, but i am slightly suspicious of him. they have wired headsets on and bullet proof vests on, and he is going in.

so they’re approaching- scully and mulder in the field, the deputy out in front. scully is peeking through binoculars but she doesn’t see anyone inside!!! it has to be a trap!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! just as scully tells the deputy to not go in, he opens the door and an AXE SWINGS DOWN AND CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!

i am sorry for being suspicious of you, deputy. may you rest in peace.

mulder’s reciting his facts from the hyena documentary. they are witnessing something akin to prehistoric humanity. but he has an idea: divert them out of the house, so they don't have to deal with their traps. it is a good idea.

so they are sneaking into the pig pen, which had to be a pain to shoot. “scully, would you think less of me as a man if i told you i was kind of excited right now?” he asks as they try to get the pigs in a line to topple like dominoes or something???

“is there some secret farmer trick to getting these things moving?” “i don’t know!” lmaooo these city slickers...

they’re shoving pigs straight out the gate, and she’s trying to say some magic pig words from babe, which her nephew apparently watches all day. you know what that means...

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has a nephew!

but there are more pressing matters at hand than a lore reveal as one of the brothers emerges, falling for their piggy trap. we see them in daylight now, and it is an unsettling sight. 

as the brothers try to herd the pigs back in, the agents sneak in, with mulder picking up a giant log to poke open the door. and it is a good thing he did that, because a trap descends right on the log that surely would have beheaded him as it did the deputy if not for the log taking the axe/weapon thingy for him. thank you for your service, giant log.

they sneak in beneath the log and close the door as if nothing went down. scully is yelling to see if anyone is in the house. they’re doing a sweep in excellent coordination. mulder mumbles “oh no” and i’m scared but he just picks up a newspaper that says elvis is dead and frowns 😭 his ass cannot be serious for more than five minutes 

but something approaches!!!! they enter the bedroom and see photos of generations and generations of this family, with varying conditions. and at this moment mulder notices that someone is under the bed!!

he’s trying to say that they’re here to help, but whoever is down there is screaming, screaming at them to go away. so scully tries to move the bed, but she’s strapped to a board underneath the bed, and they pull her out and…. oh my gosh, she has no limbs, i think? it’s dark and hard to tell. they keep her under the bed..........

mulder says they’re going to get her home, but after a glance at the pictures on the wall, scully says that she already IS home. it’s mrs. peacock. the mother of the family that they thought died in the car accident!!!!!!

she is sobbing and they roll her back under the bed, with mulder having a horrific look on his face, unable to process what he just saw. 

mulder is back on the prowl to find the other brothers. and he tasks scully with trying to convince mrs. peacock that she is the only one who can get “her boys” out of here without them being hurt. a mighty task, indeed.

she walks away, and he says “scully, w-watch your step” and he’s worried about her and i want to cry. oh!! we see a trip wire……….

so scully goes back to mrs. peacock, explaining that she needs medical attention, and the agents are here to help. she says that this is their home- why leave it? she has to see if the boys are okay. 

and she lost her limbs in the accident that killed her husband. “sewed me up just like the family learned in the war of northern aggression” OH! so that is an WILD thing to say in pennsylvania. but it was at this point i thought i was putting the pieces together for an extended metaphor...

but she insists she felt no pain, and that no one in the family does. and they’re such good boys. scully points out they murdered three people, and mrs. peacock says she can tell scully has no children, but maybe someday she’ll learn the pride and the love “when you know your boy will do anything for his mother”

well i think you probably just made her swear that off forever!!! so!!!!!

the brothers see mulder in the window, and they start to run in. and as he holds one at gun point, another tries to bash in his head, so scully shoots him. but this isn’t enough to take him down! and the other one joins in on their attack, so it’s two against one tag teaming mulder!!! oh my gosh scully can you use your perfect aim???

yes, she can, but despite emptying the whole clip, they aren’t hurt!!! 

they’re running and running and dodging a whole lot of terrible blows, and scully yells out that she has the mother! she trips over the wire and one of the traps falls RIGHT into one of the brothers, seemingly finally taking him out.

she notices marks on the floor, and when they go back for mrs. peacock, they can’t find the other brother or the mother.

so they put out an APB for them, saying that in time, they’ll catch them. but he counters with “i think time already caught them, scully”

cutscene to the cadillac- where mrs. peacock says that “sherman and george were good boys”- SHERMAN? a union name? edmund, sherman, and george… 

it ends with mrs. peacock saying that there will be more peacocks, and they have to find a new home, make a new family to be proud of. she is in the trunk of the car while she says this.

okay so first thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK.

this episode definitely lived up to its horrific reputation. but i can’t figure out exactly what it is it MEANS!

beyond exploring the horrific topics of generational abuse, i feel that there is something a bit deeper going on here. i actually felt so compelled to see if i was imagining things that i went on the wikipedia page for the episode, which spoke of its themes on the american dream and the nuclear family. those themes i see for sure- how mulder was talking about settling down in a place like this, so quaint and quiet, how they started discussing their own desire for a family, and how every idyllic thought about what a family could be was upended on its head with the peacocks. that made sense to me. but...

that line- “the war of northern aggression”- was what the confederates called the american civil war to justify their rebellion. this is notable for the fact that this whole episode took place in pennsylvania, which was a union state- but somehow, they got so twisted up in their own hatred that they’re parroting the lost cause ideology over a century after the war.

the repeated motifs of “things being the way they are in a small town, in our town, in our home”- is that a symbol for the festering of post-civil war wounds? the inability for the war to make meaningful change when it came to the attitudes of the people on the losing side, who continue- even to this day- to spew their hateful ideology? the inbreeding metaphor- is that a representation of how hate begets hate begets hate, generation after generation, compounding and corrupting by the lack of intervention from outsiders who are too afraid to change “the way things are” and call out harmful behavior? and the newspaper from elvis’s death… is that another allusion to the family (or perhaps certain parts of the country) living entirely in the past, in addition to their lack of electricity and water, just stewing in their own hatred? even the name- home- reminds me of the “house divided cannot stand” rhetoric. is this talking about the rot of "back in the good ol' days" thinking?

or if not a metaphor for the country, and instead just the horror of abuse? of how people can feel that things are the way that they are, and so that makes it correct, no matter what the cost? about how warped perceptions of family can be made and shaped? and the fact that mrs. peacock went along with all of this, despite being the biggest victim of the family... is that to speak on the twisted nature of gender roles and how they are weaponized in familial abuse?

i have to clarify that i am not an expert on abuse in the slightest; i am just trying to work through the themes of what i just saw. you know how it is on this blog; i do my best to interpret the big issues, but also recognize that i can only see and comment upon so much.

i'm really, really curious to hear how you interpreted the episode, though. or how audiences have understood it in the past, or if it has ever been re-evaluated. what did the cast and crew have to say on it? i want to know.

man. this is gonna really make me ponder. i want to know. it was too purposeful to just be a “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” sort of situation.

regardless of the terror, i actually thought this episode was pretty good. it felt cohesive, not just a sideshow of horrible things to make you feel shocked. and we learned more about our characters- their ambitions in life, the possibility of a family someday dangling over their heads, and the terror associated with everything that could go wrong. i think there is always some fear about starting a family (i wouldn't know, but i do read books and stuff), and for scully to just now vocalize her thoughts on the subject and to immediately see this case- i can only imagine what it did to her thought process.

i thought the more light-hearted elements were working at the beginning- mulder's TV dance, baseball time, the merits of their genetics, family talk- worked well at first. but by the end it was just... damn. that was a lot. maybe that is the indication of a successful episode, that it can take you along heavy subject matter with a sense of character analysis and horror, but end with just terror.

i'm not a horror fan outside of this show, so the balancing of the heavy and the humor always baffles me a little bit. i don't know how other materials do it, so i can't really say if it could have been done better or worse. i think the important part though is that they don't turn the tragedy itself into the joke. it wasn't giving "point and laugh at the horrible peacock family!" it was finding humor in other situations, that ultimately still surrendered to the sober feeling of what humanity can do.

whew. this one is definitely gonna stick with me for a while, and i’ll need like 12 hours to formulate my thoughts into something comprehensible. but, you ask, did you like the episode?

yes! while i'm not sure i'd watch it again for funsies, i thought our agents had to confront some inner demons while also learning a lot about them together and individually, which is exactly the thing i want in an episode. i think it brought them closer and they understand each other better, and i think we're getting into some real juicy parts of their relationship. i can't stop thinking about him rubbing her back- how terribly devoted they are to each other, regardless of if either of them can put that into words. those dynamics of devotion that go beyond words- it's so special to me.

and sure, i'll take the bait, and daydream about them living together... i am not above fan service in the slightest. it is me, the fan, who loves to be serviced.

but again. i'm spooked.

[skitskatdacat63]

Its so crazy when you play a game in dub(or watch smth ig) and you listen to the other ones(in this case, the intended language) and its like HUHHHH!?!?! My boy does NOT sound like that !!!

[sunisalee2020]

...

[thesullenfawn]

streamer!ellie hcs

(my first time writing so...🫣)

warnings: none, fem!reader

lowercase intended, pictures are from pinterest and they're not mine

credits to @/cafekitsune on tumblr for the divider

masterlist

♡ plays roblox sometimes and BEEFS with literal seven year olds on voice chat because they called her a noob.

♡ "there is no WAY you're calling me a noob when you have an invisible face you GOOFBALL ."

♡ both of yous live in a one bedroom apartment because yous live in a big city and rent and college is expensive.

♡ so sometimes you can be seen doing homework or studying on your bed or another desk in the background.

♡ "guys y/n is doing homework right now so she might say hi later."

♡ rages in minecraft survival mode and just quits the game after she dies for the millionth time.

♡ "i fr cannot do this like i can't bro this game is stupid as hell anyway....", eventhough she almost punched a hole through her monitor.

♡ you post cute little short, (and/or) faceless vlogs to document your travels or events and sometimes ellie is shown in them!!

♡ the comments are so 😭😭

♡ she absolutely would defend you straight away if you get any sort of hate though.

♡ wears the STUPIDEST t-shirts and you think they're funny but you refuse to let her wear them out.

♡ like that one shirt that says "lesbians eat what?!!" and it's a load of shocked looking cats on it.

♡ "ellie... can you please change your shirt? we're going to dinner 😥"

♡ fans also send them to her through a PO box if she has one and she unboxes them on stream too, so she has a whole collection.

♡ sometimes you join her stream when she's taking a break to eat dinner or something so you show the chat your sims 4 save file or another game you like.

♡ her mic is so bad but she refuses to change it because she thinks it sounds funny.

♡ speaking of sound she also spams that sound board she has to no return (i remember reading this from someone elses post help).

♡ "CHAT I WON LETS GO", *cue the crowd cheering sound effect and a load of blow horns*

♡ "what did i have for dinner? i had a cheeseburger....", *american national anthem plays*

♡ did a whole stream watching edits her fans made her and she was giggling the whole time. (she has a favourites folder on tiktok)

♡ she's totally a repost warrior.

♡ eventhough she does stream kinda often, she makes sure to spend a lot of time with you, even if it's pausing the stream to help you make dinner during a suuuuper long charity stream or something.

♡ if she posts a photo dump on instagram or something you're always in it somehow, and it's always faceless if you don't want your face shown to that many people online.

♡ always sosososo supportive of everything you do and tells the chat if you're comfortable, she's just such a cutie pie.

♡ "guys my pretty girlfriend is graduating soon can you believe that she's just such a genius".

♡ doesn't mention the fact that she is also in college like 😭😭.

♡ sometimes she just doesn't know what to do so she goes on google maps.

♡ "lemme show yous the block i live on.... wait nevermind woah".

♡ you heard that from the other room and your heart DROPPED.

please don't buy tlou games as the creator is a zionist.

[shapelytimber]

Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less

[COMMISSIONS]

Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv

I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc

ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)

gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the cliché personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)

KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)

sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(

EVA KANT (Diabolik)

Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7€ a volume ??? What is this)

UTA (The Void / Тургор / Turgor / Tension)

Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much

KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)

Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it

DARK VADOR (La guerre des étoiles)

*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections

And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...

PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !

[steviewashere]

Okay, I'm getting on here to be a little bit pissy. I'm sorry in advance.

I am so in love with the headcanons regarding Steve's hearing, whether it be that he's hard of hearing, actively in the process of losing his hearing, deaf with a hearing aid, or just completely deaf—every version is fucking fantastic. I'm hard of hearing myself, it's fucking great that this representation is being written or drawn. I love it.

However, I'm going to hold your hand as I say this, stop using language such as "when he learns to lipread" or "eventually learns to lipread." Please stop.

He shouldn't have to learn to lip read. That shouldn't be an eventual skill he learns.

And, gonna give you a little bit of history here, it's historically ableist to require a deaf/hoh person to learn lip reading. From the late 1800s and into the late 1960s, there were literally programs across America that would force deaf children to write, speak, and lipread English—they were punished for signing to others in their schools, in public, in their dorms. And that didn't change until "Total Communication" was brought forth as a possibility, a philosophy that declared children would learn better using their preferred communication—whether it be oralism (the practice of writing, speaking, and lipreading) or via signing. However, oral schools that implemented total communication into their core programs had sign language that was structured with English grammar, this is commonly known as Exact Sign Language, or Exact English Sign Language. It's not American Sign Language.

Also, children who were approved for Coclear Implants in the early 1990s, were sent from residential deaf schools into day schools (public schools) that had a primary focus on oral teaching; pushed into day schools with little to no support, were discouraged from signing with even their parents. This was due to the fact that it was believed that signing at home would slow down their learning.

I am such a fan of deaf Steve or HoH Steve, but you have to be careful the language you're approaching his character with. If he has a sign language interpreter, then he most likely already knows sign language and will, also, most likely rely on an interpreter for communication with hearing people. If he is going deaf (maybe because of head trauma, maybe he gets into a traumatic accident, maybe he gets sick and just loses his hearing, maybe he listens to music too loudly and damages his ears that way), Steve will most likely already have the skills to write and speak in English, but lipreading is a skill that's difficult to garner.

I'll say, too, lipreading is fucking difficult because hearing people are so used to speaking (most of the time. I'm not talking about non-verbal hearing people in this conversation)—hearing people will typically talk fast, which makes lipreading muddy and indecipherable. I've been trying to learn this for years and I'm fucking over it, I can't do it. I speak and write, but I also use ASL, too.

Saying that Steve needs to lipread, that's ableist. Saying that he eventually or finally learns to lipread, that's ableist. Fuck it, I'm gonna say this, too—requiring or not giving Steve the option to decide whether or not he wants a hearing aid or implant device is also inherently ableist. Deaf people are (and should be) allowed to have a choice on having to hear. My own sibling made the decision recently to stop using the cochlear implant they've had their entire life because they weren't even given the choice to get one in the first place (and decided they were done with it), they hated the feedback the cochlear had, and it was just irritating in the sense that it would fall off, the volume control would change all on its own, and they just didn't like it. That's their choice. It's important to give a character that choice.

I let this get away from me, but I despise how people talk about his options for communication sometimes. It just rubs me the wrong way. And I think it's best we all reanalyze how we approach his characterization, especially how we can approach crafting the characterization without alienating a group of people.

*this post has been approved by my deaf sibling (who was born deaf), and obviously by me (somebody who can only hear out of one fucking ear. seriously be careful about volume control on your ear buds. and also wear ear plugs at shows. it hurts like hell to damage your ear drum.)

Here's a whole Wikipedia article about deaf education in the US (just in case you wanted another reason to hate America, but also if you're curious. definitely something everybody should learn).

[syxoki]

my mouthwashing characters headcanons :3

Daisuke ><

Japanese from his mom and filipino + mexican from his dad

Grew up in japan until he was three, before moving to hawaii. Speaks japanese, english and a tiny tiny bit of spanish.

If im not wrong, hes rather rich, so he never really had money problems before.

Only child, even if he sometimes wished he wanst.

HE HAS A TONGUE PIERCING.

He often have tension with his mom, since shes rather strict, and often wants him to follow the path she trace for him.

Is a mitski fan and have gone to two of her concerts

Still secretly have plushies from when he was little

Was kinda a smart kid at school

Has a biggg collection of yaoi and yuri (that he hide from his mom)

HES SO GYARUO CODED

Tried playing re2 remake, stopped when mr x started going at him bc it was stressing him out

Definitely watched alien stage and cried his eyes out

Smells like soft citrus and a tiny bit of weed

says random brainrot quotes during the day (hes just like me fr)

Pansexual, fight me

Anya <3

Slavic/russian (she also give off french vibes but idk) but lived in london before going to work on the ship.

Lesbian, but before moving out of her parents house she had to hide it from them bc they were really conservative and religious, even if she discovered she was gay at like 12

Loves those old movies from the 70s or with a same vibe like girl, interrupted or movies with shelley duvall.

She lovesss dazey and the scouts

Did ballet when she was little

Knows how to play piano and violin

Have a black cat name midi 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Likes horror in general but get scared

Has insomnia

She have *hematophobia (just like me fr🗣️🗣️)

(*fear of blood,wounds or very gore things)

Smells like rubbing alcohol and lavender.

Curly (big tits)

British and german

He gives off very very heterocurious vibes.

Gymbro i fear.

Smells like vanilla.

Freaking huge, like, everywhere.

Knows jimmy since their last year of highschool. Gone to the same college as him and all.

Is such an enabler of rape and all that shit OH MY FREAKING GOD. I think that even if he respect women, he still have those Misogynistic stereotypes in his brain. People need to get that hes not the good guy in mouthwashing. (i still love him tho)

like jazz

Have a phobia of snakes..

Has a dad bod ngghhh..

Has kind of a big family (2 sisters and 3 brothers.)

Is such a people pleaser omfg.

Jimbalaya...

American, and a lil bit of turkish origins (from his dad)

(Tw for this one : sa, incest,pedophilia, child abuse) I hc that younger his dad sa'ed him. His life was a terrible hell before having the legal age (and even after) to get out of his family. He got abused in so many ways bruh. (doesnt make any of his actions anymore valid ofc)

Also got several girls pregnant before anya, he guess most of them aborted, but he never bothered or cared to check if he got a kid or not..

Had a BIG nirvana phase in his teenage years. Also hate those people who wears those preppy nirvana shirts.

Smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne

doesnt really gaf about his hygiene most of the time

Attempted several times, curly was the one stopping him most of the time.

Type of guy to say "OF detected, opinion rejected" on a random girl page then get an Subscription to the said girl OF 10min later..

Was half joking about the cartoon horses thing..☹️

fucking hate kids

Has a little sister tho, which is, surprisingly, surely one of the only thing he genuinely care about, always was worried for her when he left the family home and has to leave her alone with their parents.

Is kinda homophobic asf but fetishize lesbians (my nightmare).

Has SEVERE religious traumas and mommy issues.

Swansea (Hold on Swansea, im 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼)

American and australian

Have 3 kids, two daughters and one son, also love his wife so freaking much

Play candy crush and those shitty random mobile games

Smells like a hint of metal and axe deodorant

Dog person

Is such an old man, daisuke always have to explain to him what to do when it comes to things like smartphones,internet,pcs 😭

Was in the football team of his highschool younger

Is so loud in the bathroom at like 6am for no freaking reasons omfg, average dad experiences

Use "👍🏻" for Everything

thats all i have for him im sorry 😔

[lee-laurent]

Scheiße - Luke Hughes

Summary: In which Luke falls for Nico's friend despite the language barrier. Or in which Sofia dates an American boy even though she barely understands him... at first.

Content: fluff, a tiny bit of angst (sort of), implied sex but no smut, making out

also this fic is formatted a bit different! it's kinda like a timeline of Luke and Sofia's relationship!

notes: everything in italics is in swiss german. easier than having to translate everything!! this one is for all my other multilingual queens/kings :) i tried my best to represent the struggle that i felt trying to learn english, but obviously everyone's experience is going to be different. the squirrel scene is very much taken from an actual experience i had haha

Meeting

"Stop picking at your nails, Sof. Everyone is going to love you," Nico attempted to calm his best friend.

"You don't know that. They could hate me," she argued, continuing to pick at her cuticles.

"Well... I'm their captain. So, if they do anything that makes you upset..."

"Don't threaten your team for me, Neeks."

"Just trying to reassure you, love."

The Devils were having a little pre-season get together with all the players and their significant others. Nico's best friend, Sofia, had recently made the move to America in hopes to improve her English; so, naturally he had decided to bring her along to help her make some friends in New Jersey.

Nervously, she followed behind Nico as they walked onto the roof of Nicole and Jesper's building. He placed a comforting hand on her back, leading her towards a group of WAGs.

"Nico! Hi!" Nicole smiled, "And you must be Sofia! Nico talks about you all the time."

"Hi," Sofia smiled sheepishly, playing with the hem of her skirt.

"Would you like a drink?" the blonde asked.

"Oh, sure. Thank you."

"I'll be with the boys. Let me know if you need anything," Nico smiled, walking off towards a group of hollering men.

Sofia fell into a steady flow of conversation with the Devils' significant others. Well, as steady as it could be with her limited knowledge of English.

"How long have you been seeing Nico?" one of the girls asked, taking a sip from her cocktail.

Sofia choked on her drink, giggling at the idea of being with Nico. "He is my best friend. We are not toether."

"Omg! I'm so sorry," the other girl blushed.

"It is fine! No stress," Sof smiled proudly at the use of the expression that Nico had recently taught her.

"So, anyone special back in Switzerland?" Nicole questioned.

"Oh, um, no. I... too focused on work. No time," she explained.

"Omg! We could set you up with one of the single guys on the team!"

"Oh... it's okay," Sofia giggled, taking a long sip of her drink.

"Let us know if you change your mind," Nicole winked, before starting a story about something that had happened at work earlier in the week.

"Sofia! Come here!" Nico beckoned her over to where he stood with a few players.

"Coming! It was nice meeting you all," she smiled politely at the girls.

"Wait! Give me your number! I'll add you to our group chat," Simon's girlfriend exclaimed. Sofia was giddy as she typed her number into her newly found friend's phone.

"Guys, meet Sofia," Nico smiled, placing his hand on her back once again. "Sof, meet Luke, Jack, Timo, and Dawson."

"Hi," Jack smiled widely.

"Nico always talks of you guys. Nice to meet you," the girl smiled, scooting closer into Nico's side. She was not a fan of all the eyes on her at the moment.

"Nice to see you again," Timo grinned. They'd met over the summer when Nico was training.

Luke could see her shoulders untense at the sound of her native language.

"You as well. It's crazy to meet everyone Nico talks about all the time. Like, sometimes I was convinced they were all in his head," she giggled, earning a glare from her best friend.

Luke, Jack, and Dawson chuckled awkwardly, completely unaware of what the conversation in front of them was about. They could be shit talking for all they knew.

"So... what do you do for work?" Dawson asked.

"Oh, fashion photography!"

"Ever tried sports photography?"

"I'm not as good at it," she nodded.

"She's being humble. She just prefers fashion," Nico laughed. While Nico talked to the boys, Sofia couldn't help but notice that the tallest boy in the group had yet to speak to her. Did he not like her? She was trying her best. She caught his eyes for a moment, but he quickly looked down at the beer in his hands. She was upset that one of Nico's close friends didn't like her, but she couldn't win them all.

Crushing

It was the third or fourth time that Sofia had hungout with the WAGs. This time she'd invited them to have their wine night at her and Nico's apartment. The girls were sat in the living room, chatting animatedly about the upcoming season.

"I know that Simon is so excited for his rookie season! He told me that Luke is feeling the same way," Simon's girlfriend smiled.

"I- I don't think Luke likes me," Sofia spoke up, swishing her wine around in the glass.

"What?!" Nicole exclaimed, "Why do you think that?"

"He never talks to me. And when I go to stand with Neeks, he walks away."

"That's funny because Curtis told me something completely different," Reanne smiled cheekily.

"What did he say?" Sofia asked, chugging the rest of her wine, before pouring herself some more.

"That Luke has a biiiiiig crush on a certain someone."

"Ooo! Sofia!" the girls cheered.

"But... he doesn't talk to me."

"Luke has no play, girl. He's probably just wayyy too nervous to talk you cause you're so stunning."

"He thinks I'm cute?" Sofia blushed.

"Duh! Who wouldn't? Do you think he's cute?" Nicole pressed.

Sofia pressed her lips together in an attempt to hide her growing smile, "He is like... how do I say it? My..."

"Type?"

"Yes! He's my type."

"Can I tell Curtis? Maybe he can talk some sense into Luke."

"We should let them come together naturally, Reanne," Nicole giggled.

"Okay, well... next game you're talking to him. Sound good?"

Sofia nodded happily. She couldn't believe that Luke had a crush on her! She felt like a high schooler writing in her diary about the cute boy in her class.

First Date

Sofia stood in the bathroom mirror, fixing her hair for the 15th time. She hadn't gone on a date in over a year and she was shitting herself. Luke had asked her out after their most recent win against the Rangers. She hadn't exactly told Nico who were date was with, but he knew she was going on one.

"You look beautiful, Sof," Nico smiled as she walked into the kitchen.

"It's not too much?" she asked, pulling at the bottom of her top.

"Are you going to wear a jacket?"

"Yeah, my jean one."

"I think that's perfect. Where are you guys going?"

"Some pizza place. Then we're going on a walk, I think."

"Cute. How'd you meet?"

"Oh, at the Rangers game. He came up to me when I was waiting for you."

"He wasn't a Rangers fan... was he?"

"No," she giggled, "He was wearing a Devils' jersery."

"Good. Have fun! You'll be back tonight?"

"Yes, Neeks. I'm not going to his on the first date," she giggled, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Stay safe! I love you!"

"Love you too," she grabbed her purse, blowing him one last kiss before disappearing out the door.

"Hi," Luke smiled, "I like your outfit."

"Thank you, Luke. You look nice too," she admired the way his chest looked in the blue polo shirt he was wearing.

"Pizza?"

"Pizza."

The walk to the pizza place was full of laughter. Sofia wasn't sure she'd ever felt so confident in her English as when she was around Luke. He wasn't condescending at all, helping her when she asked and waiting when she didn't.

"Have you ever played hockey?" Luke asked, cutting himself a slice of pizza.

"No. That is not really... my thing?"

Luke nodded in understanding.

"But I love watching. You are very good."

"Thanks, Sofia. I have seen the outfits you've helped Nico make. Do you think you could help me?"

"You always wear same two suits," she giggled, covering her mouth.

"Don't bully me!"

"Sorry. I would love to help you, Luke."

"I, uh, wanted to apologize for ignoring you when we first met. I was under the impression that you were with Nico, so I was trying to push my attraction away."

"Nico is like a brother. I never think of him other ways. Promise."

"It's fine, Sof. No worries. I just being dumb."

"Maybe you are always dumb, Lukey."

Luke cackled, reaching out and holding her hand across the table.

"I'll just pretend that was your lack of English and not you bullying my again."

"I would never bully you," she smirked.

First Kiss

Sofia was cuddled up into Luke's side on the sofa, his hand holding tightly onto the dip of her waist.

"I can put the German captions on," Luke offered, as he watched Sofia's face scrunch up for umpteenth time.

"But maybe that would distract you."

"It won't, babe. I'll turn them on."

Sofia blushed at the pet name. Luke grabbed the remote, clicking on the German caption option on the film they were watching.

"What the hell is Eichhörnchen?" Luke asked, butchering the pronunciation.

"Eichhörnchen?" she giggled, correcting him, "It's squirrel."

"Say that again?"

"Squirrel."

"You say it so funny. I'm sorry."

"The 'skw' sound... that is not in German. Stop hating."

"Sorry, love," Luke giggled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Sofia looked up at him as he pulled away. She placed a gentle hand on the side of his face, leading him back down.

"What're you doing?" he whispered.

"Can we kiss?"

"Wha- what?"

"Can we kiss?" she asked just as confidently as before.

Luke nodded, running his tongue over his bottom lip. He leaned forward, capturing her top lip between his. He smiled into the kiss, ultimately breaking it. Sofia pouted, pulling him back in for more.

Wearing His Jersey/Becoming His Girlfriend

"Do a spin for me?" Luke smiled from his spot on his bed. Sofia was dressed in her panties and a jersey with 'Hughes 43' plastered on the back. She spun around giggling as he got off the bed, picking her up.

"You. Are. So. Fucking. Beautiful," he said between kisses, hands sneaking under the jersey to give her exposed ass a small squeeze. She gasped, smacking his chest.

"Jack will be home soon, I should go."

"Do you have to?" he whined, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap.

"Yes, Lukey. I'll be at the game, wearing my new jersey," she giggled, pulling him into a passionate kiss. He attempted to lay down and bring her with him, but she was quick to stand up. She walked over to the side of the bed, hopping into her jeans. The vintage bell bottoms looked amazing on her and Luke made sure to let her know, letting out a low whistle as she walked out the door.

"A Hughes' jersey?" Nico questioned after the game, pulling her into a hug.

"Thought I'd switch it up. Can't always be repping the Hischier one."

"Where'd you get it?"

"Luke let me borrow it."

"I'm glad you two have become friends. I was worrying you weren't going to befriend any of the guys."

"We're the same age. It just made sense," she shrugged.

"You never told me how that date you went on was."

"Oh, didn't really work out. He just wanted to use me to get free tickets," she lied.

"Sounds about right. You'll find someone, Sof. Don't worry."

"And if I don't?"

"You've got me," he winked, making her laugh. "Need a ride home?"

"Yes! Let me say thanks to Luke again."

"I'll meet you at the car," he smiled, kissing her cheek as he headed out.

"Look at you," Luke whispered as he pulled her into a 'friendly' hug. "Look so good in my jersey."

"Stop being so horny," she giggled, pulling away from him.

"Can't help it when my girlfriend looks sooooo fine."

"Girlfriend?"

"Sorry, I- uh, I just assumed because we spend all this time together. But if you don't want to be my girlfriend, I understand. I shouldn't have-"

"Luke."

"Yeah?"

"I'd love to be your girlfriend."

"Oh."

She pulled him into one more quick hug, before skipping off to meet Nico.

Nico Finding Out

Luke hummed as Sofia straddled his lap, running her hands through his hair. He pressed a kiss to her jaw, another on her neck, then one on her collarbone before connecting their lips again.

"I missed you," he mumbled.

"Missed you too."

The boys had been on a week long roadie, and now Sofia and Luke couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"Mmm, I love this perfume. Is it new?" he asked, kissing her neck again.

"Yeah," her voice was shaky, gasping when he nipped at her jaw.

"God, Sofia. You're perfect."

"Luke."

"Hm?"

"Kiss me."

His hands gripped her waist as their lips met in another passionate kiss. They laid down on the couch, Luke holding himself up as his girlfriend giggled below him.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just missed this."

"Me too, babe."

Sofia's hands moved under his top, feeling the smooth skin of his chest. Just as Luke was going to ask if he could do the same, a new voice echoed through the apartment.

"Sofia? Who's here?"

"What?"

"Who's here? There's some white sneakers at the door. Not mine."

"Oh, Luke's here! We're watching TV."

The couple scrambled to sit up and fix their dishevled looks.

"Hey, Luke! How's it going, man?" Nico entered the living room, dapping up his teammate.

"Good, good. How're you?"

"Good. You didn't tell me he was coming over," Nico turned to his roommate.

"Yeah... spur of the moment."

"Is that a hickey?" Nico asked in German, as not to embarass Sofia.

"What? No."

"It totally is! Who gave you a hickey?"

"It's not a hickey, Nico."

"Was it him?!" Nico gasped.

"What?! No!"

"It was! You're such a shit liar! How long?"

"Beginning of the season," she sighed, finally giving in.

"This is so funny! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I'm not a shit liar, for the record. You had no idea until now."

"Was that date with him?!"

"Nico!"

"I'm right here... if you're talking about me," Luke scratched the back of his neck.

"One second, Luke," Sofia smiled. "It was, yeah. I... I was nervous to tell you. Was worried you'd think I was using you to get with him."

"That's funny, Sof. I couldn't care less. As long as you're happy."

Sofia stood up, pulling her best friend into a tight hug.

"I'm watching you though, Rusty. Hurt her and I'll hurt you," Nico threatened, heading to his bedroom.

"He knows?!" Luke gasped.

Guess Sofia had some explaining to do.

[pyro-tf2-but-trans]

After extensive research (scrolling down on my blog a few times) I noticed I have never headcanoned ages, so for my reemergence, here’s how old I think the mercs are and some other stuff :)

Scout

23 (im pretty sure this is canon)

Born April 8th

has a fuckass tooth gap, needed braces as a kid that he hated and refuses to wear his retainer now (medic does NOT approve)

terrible diet, he's only so thin because of his occupation and insane metabolism. He hasn't seen a vegetable since last time he visited his ma.

On that note, he's also TERRIBLE about drinking water and gets confused as to why he always has a headache.

boyfailure <3

decent cook, actually

as in the food he makes is edible, despite however it might look visually

grew up just outside of Boston

Keeps random shit on his walls, constantly needs more thumbtacks. Posters, post its, stickers, pictures, signs... why is there a fucking SPOON taped next to his door this is ridiculous.

Sometimes he catches himself sucking his thumb at his big age, the loser

when he was a kid he got bullied for not looking like his siblings like at all

Soldier

38

born July 3rd (WHY COULDN'T YOU HOLD HIM IN A LITTLE LONGER, MOM.)

world war autism

both as in intensity and special interest

First got into US military type stuff hearing about the Vietnam war as a kid, it fascinated him and made him absolutely determined to help

grew up in Minnesota, ironically HATES the cold

typa guy to make himself run laps and junk if he realized he was being rude to women or something

probably ace, yes I know he has children shut up

Pyro

probably the youngest on the team, maybe 25?

born December 20th

facial dysmorphia :(

they have burn scars all over their body from an old memory they've since pushed deep into the back of their head

they can handle not wearing their suit if they absolutely have to, but avoid mirrors lest they stare into it for a long time not quite recognizing the person looking back at them

medic and engie are really the only ones that have seen them outside of the suit more than once

sorry that got sad lol

anyway they hate being infantilized, not only for being the youngest but also for being delusional

it doesn't happen as often as you'd think, at least. But sometimes medic will baby talk them when they're getting a checkup or scout will say something ignorant. They can ignore it but it gets annoying.

they enjoy chocolate ice cream

a fan of the cold in general

pretty handy, actually. They built their flamethrowers and a good few of their melee weapons, engie taught them a lot.

cutting this short cause I've been yapping about pyro for too long

Demoman

36

born January 31st

has only actually been to Scotland like twice, he was born in the us with his mum, just grew up with her long enough to gain the accent anyway

doesn't know a lick of Gaelic, sorry. Obviously words like "bonnie" and "Gob" slip out, but that's just basic Scottish vocabulary lmao

he has a collection of eye patches, he thinks his missing eye is kinda cool when he isn't annoyed about his lack of depth perception

he uses bombs specifically because of his lack of depth perception, actually, since as long as he hits within the vicinity of his target he usually wins

he's a fan of the outdoors, hangs around sniper sometimes

crazy smart, specifically a chemistry nerd (obviously) but he can answer crazy specific questions on anything. this also means he's very good at converting measurements, if you're ever baking or something lol

that last part specifically helps whenever the European dweebs say something metric and the Americans need a translator.

"yeah that's 55 kilometers away" "..." "that's about 34 miles, lad" "oooohhh"

Heavy

54, the eldest

born August 16th

hes generally pretty good at English, but certain words annoy him

like colorful? jump

likes working out with soldier, specifically lifting. The most wholesome gym bros.

helps short people reach things on tall shelves

not a whole lot I haven't already said about him lol

Engineer

42

born June 10th

horrific blue eye stare

get brown eye contacts I'm scared

scout clings to him almost as much as pyro does, actually.

he doesn't mind all that much, at least

speaks Spanish pretty fluently, though he has a very obvious accent and has yet to master rolling his Rs, he's trying his best at least <3

he's a fan of fall

used to be the worlds most annoying angsty teenager, if you can believe it

grew out of it, obviously, but he still has a crap ton of old vinyl records of all the rock bands he used to listen to in secret in a box somewhere

(if you're wondering, his parents were NOT fans)

he has four siblings! he's the second eldest, two sisters and two brothers

knows a bit of medical stuff from medic, its how he put the healing factor into the dispenser

Medic

46

born March 19th

never went to medical school, but he did quite a bit of studying in both human anatomy and biology

so yeah he never had a medical license in the first place lol

he has a collection of bones and other bits (organs, wet specimens, etc etc)

human? animal? yes

the med bay smells like birds, its not sanitary

he's a good medic despite all of these, though! just double check that you have all your guts in order before and after an operation! scout still has a bird in his chest, after all.

off topic but he also has really thick hair that sheds a lot, like if he lays down somewhere you can find a bunch of black hairs like little snakes all over the place

^hes just like me for real!

like weirdly beefy? that medigun is heavier than it looks, and the backpack is even heavier

hed be a fan of squid game in a modern au

Sniper

30

born February 23rd

weirdly cagey about his birthday?? like he'll tell you if you ask but he'll be all like "what?? why do you need to know that??"

his footsteps don't make noise, he regularly startles people (scout) by just walking into a room and just standing there

sushi fan

like never gets sick, probably from being outside all the time his whole life but his immune system is made out of steel

medic finds this fascinating lol

blind as hell without his glasses

shaves with his knife just because he thinks its cool lmao

he has a scar on his cheek because of this though he lies and says its because he almost got hit by an enemy sniper

loser hides under his hat when he's embarrased

kisses him with tongue

Spy

50

born ??? (he says a different date every time someone asks)

THIS BITCH ISNT EVEN FRENCH!!!!!

grew up in like Nevada and puts on the whole french thing to be more anonymous

fuck is a petite chou fleur?? your little cauliflower?? come on now

#spyhater

no but I do think he is a spy, and a very good one at that (he managed to convince everyone he's french, after all)

he was supposed to be on a way more advanced team but got misplaced but he was useful on the team so he stayed there (and he felt guilty about leaving his son yet again)

needed braces as a kid, wears his retainer religiously

he's visibly uncomfortable with having his mask off, but not in the same way pyro is. He hates the idea of being seen more than they hate seeing themselves.

If he doesn't like you he won't make it obvious, but he'll just. stare at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. not even in a death glare way, more like he's calculating how many ways he could make you vanish into thin air

sniper thinks he's neat

[cherie-doll]

Who out of the cod guys do you think knows how to ride a horse/is a fan of horses? I personally think that Graves and Gaz would know

Yep, like you said Graves def does, he from the south, ain't he? That man surely got some experience with farm animals. He'd probably ride western on his American Quarter horse, like with the big heavy saddle with the horn on it and instead of wearing nice expensive riding breeches he'd be wearing jeans with a nice big buckle and long-sleeved flannel shirts that protected his skin from the Texas sun.

Gaz def either owned horses or grew up riding them as a sport. I hc he did English riding in a nice, big stable with fancy American Saddlebred horses and probably entered in showing competitions and won a few too. Imagine how good he'd look with the fancy clothes prancing around the grand arena with his horse.

Soap probably never rode a horse out of his own interest but his sisters at some point owned a Shetland pony they collectively fawned over. If they got the little thing when Soap was a small kid his older sisters would sit him atop the pony and take pictures of it trotting around. Other than that he's never been a big fan of them.

Just a hunch but Simon hates horses because of the one time someone convinced him to ride one and turns out the horse was a rascal with a mind of its own, filled up his belly with air and when the saddle girth was being tightened so when Simon got on the saddle was loose and he fell off. Never gone near one again.

Alejandro likely never had much experience with them because maybe he grew up in the city/neighborhoods part of Mexico. The only occasion being when he visited an aunt who lived out on a ranch and kept a thin mare who's bones were poking out her haunches and she was only used to pull the cart they loaded up with crops to sell.

Rudy has a natural sort of hand with horses because he grew up caring for them. He never could be firm which led to some of the meaner horses to drag him about but the more docile ones welcomed his gentleness.

Keegan might have some past with horses if you really squint. His father owned a couple of them when he was younger and sometimes he'd sneak out there a ride one out 'til it was real late just to avoid doing chores.

And I think that's it. Don't think any of the other characters have had much experience with horses.

[ceratedfish24]

Thoughts on Scott and Impulse?

Hello Anon! Sorry I took so long to answer this one. I have strong feelings about Scottpulse, so I wanted to be able to answer this ask in a way that conveyed my feelings properly. However, with traveling to and from Thanksgiving backing up a couple of asks and then going straight into my exams afterwards, I haven't had a lot of time to think this one through.

Scottpulse is the physical manifestation of a warm hug. Those two are fairy lights and pillow forts and the default hosts of Friendsgiving for the Americans.

Impulse would get caught up in how pretty Scott is all of the time. He can't wrap his head around how Scott looks so beautiful in every lighting at every angle. He's just so photogenic all of the time. Impulse isn't a big picture taker, but he takes most of the photos Scott posts on social media. Now, Scott knows that he's pretty. He better be pretty. He puts a lot of effort into looking nice, and he enjoys the attention. However, Impulse is so earnest about how gorgeous he finds Scott to be, and it's his sincerity and emotional vulnerability that makes Scott coy.

Scott is the type to have a panic attack during a horror movie, while Impulse acts tough and big and strong. Meanwhile, Scott is totally calm and comfortable during True Crime shows, while Impulse is completely horrified the whole time. Impulse is all "this is REAL LIFE!! You hate the fictional ones, but this is REAL" and Scott's like "yeah but sometimes it just be like that :)".

Not a day goes by where Scott isn't blown away by Impulse's technical knowledge. He loves to watch Impulse work, and Impulse loves to talk Scott through what he's doing. Scott thinks that Impulse's intelligence is so very attractive, even though Scott, himself, has absolutely no idea what's going on the whole time.

Impulse has talked on the Imp & Skizz podcast about wanting to get really into decorating his home for the holidays, especially since he still has young kids. I can imagine Scott being so excited that Impulse wants to decorate and asking Impulse to make a list of everything in his vision. Then, Scott and Impulse buy some of those big blow-up decorations and DIY a bunch of decorations. They're very proud of it.

Additionally, I've seen some art of Wild Life Episode 7 Impulse in blue and orange as a superhero costume, and it's the same shades that Scott picked for his Transporter New Life SMP character, which is also a character that teleports and swaps places with people. All I'm saying is.... boyfriend clothes :)

Most of the time, Impulse is pretty mild when flirting with friends, but I think he would be a very romantic partner to Scott. It might not be entirely in his nature, but he knows how much Scott really appreciates a big gesture now and then. The first time Impulse set up a big thing, it was a romantic dinner with Scott's favorite scented candles, a home cooked meal he knew Scott would like, and a nice bottle of wine. He wore a black button up with long sleeves rolled up to his elbows and brown dress pants. Scott very much had a "am I being seduced right now" moment when he walked in.

Elle (Scott's cat) and Prim (Impulse's dog) love each other. They're attached at the hip. They always greet both Impulse and Scott whenever they get home regardless of whether or not Impulse and Scott have come home together or separately.

They fret over each other like mother hens when one of them is sick. "What are you doing out of bed?!" "Here, this will boost your immune system." "If you need anything, text or call me immediately. No problem is too small. It's what I'm here for." Homemade soup is their love language.

Impulse loves Pitch Perfect and Taylor Swift. I know Scott loves Taylor Swift, and I have no doubt that he's a Pitch Perfect fan. They would listen to Pitch Perfect and Taylor Swift songs all of the time.

Socially, Scott and Impulse are Yin and Yang. Preferring to spend a most of his time with one or two people, Impulse is a little on the quieter side, while Scott tries to spend a little bit of time with everyone. Combined, they get ALL the gossip.

I don't know how to explain this one, but I just feel like the curtains in their bedroom are dark purple and completely opaque. I am extremely set on this headcanon for no reason. I will die on this hill. Sunlight shines in through slivers between the curtains, creating hard shadows that really bring out the colors of the room in the morning. In contrast, Impulse's hair is so soft under Scott's fingers.

I cannot explain why, but I am extremely dead set on their colors being royal purple and gold. That's their wedding color theme. I literally cannot fathom them as any other colors.

Thank you for the ask!!🩵🩵🩵

[redrose10]

I’m going to be working on chapter 3 of Cold Brewed Love. I was really sick last week and then my toddler got really sick and we’ve just been a mess. But hopefully that should be out sometime soon.

…Last night I had a horrible panic attack. It came out of nowhere and was one of the worst ones I’ve had in a long time. I thought I was getting passed this but I guess not. So to get my mind off of it I wrote this. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but just never wrote out. It’s just fluffy and funny and cute. I hope everyone likes it and maybe it’ll help someone else feel better.

I don’t have a title so if anyone has any good ideas let me know!!

*******************************************************

Yoongi x Female Reader

Warnings: Swearing, kind of suggestive, anxiety, depression, jealous Yoongi, little angst, maybe bad judgements against foreigners but not in a hateful way (when writing this I did it from the view of an American who speaks English because that’s me so I apologize to others who read that may not fit that role), also fluffy dorky Yoongi

Word count: 3,702

(I included one of my all time favorite Yoongi photos because why not)

When Yoongi first got his military assignment he was less than thrilled about it to say the least. How do you go from writing hit songs while traveling the world performing for thousands of people and collecting records and awards like no one else to sitting behind a desk entering numbers into a computer for eight hours a day? But he understands the why behind the reasons he has to do this, along with knowing that it is his duty so he is committed to completing his service to the best of his ability. He gets up early in the morning pouring himself a cup of coffee before he puts on his uniform and makes the short drive to the office location.

Whether it was pure luck or a carefully calculated choice by someone in charge he was thankful to be working in a quiet building just outside of Seoul. His department was on the top floor. His desk in a back corner, by himself, somewhat hidden away from view. He could show up, do his job, and leave like nothing happened. He was content with keeping to himself, minding his own business, and not going out of his way to make friends. Of course he was polite and friendly if approached, but he was never the approacher.

And then he met you…

When his senior manager told him that he would be getting a desk partner he nodded and politely accepted the change but internally he was irritated. That irritation only grew when he found out that his new partner was a foreigner who barely spoke Korean. His mind immediately conjured up this idea that you were probably some kpop obsessed fan who moved here on a whim. The only saving grace he thought would be that due to the lack of mutual language you both would probably not be speaking much.

He got to work a few minutes earlier than usual on the day you were arriving to work with him. For some reason he wanted to beat you there feeling like he had to lay claim to his portion of the rather large desk. Your computer was already set up next to him. He sighed as he unpacked his bag and began logging in for the day.

Then you arrived. Your work uniform similar to his. You smiled and introduced yourself and then sat down and got right to work. You didn’t freak out and tell him how big of a fan you were. You didn’t even make small talk. You put in your ear buds and turned on some music and got right to work. You brought in a heavenly smell with you of vanilla and sugar. He’s sure it would be called something like Fluffy Cloud Sweet Sugar Oasis and Grandma’s Cookies or something like that if they sold it at Bath & Body works. And he was ready to buy every bottle.

When work was over for the day you told him to have a good night and packed your stuff and left. Yoongi realized this new seating arrangement wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

The days went by much similar to that first day. You introduced him to your best friend Joon-Sung who worked in a different department on the second floor. The first time he met him Yoongi felt what he told himself was just some indigestion from his lunch because there was no way he was jealous of the handsome man that you so freely talked to and joked with until he heard you mention something about Joon-Sung and his new boyfriend and the indigestion somehow magically went away.

Then Yoongi noticed that he found himself feeling a little more excited each day for you to walk through that door. He also started changing his routine bit by bit. He styled his hair a little more, at least the little bit of hair that was slowly growing back after having to get it shaved. He started wearing cologne again, even buying the one he heard you mention you liked after someone walked by wearing it. His nights were spent brushing up on his English so he could better converse with you and in the mornings he started bringing you cups of hot chocolate or herbal tea after he heard you tell Joon-Sung that you were trying to lower your caffeine intake because your anxiety was getting worse.

Then his world came spiraling out of control at the realization that he might like you…like a lot. The last thing he needs right now is any kind of relationship especially with a foreigner. Like sure you were really pretty and very nice and you both communicated well even with the language barrier and you were taking Korean lessons so you were getting better. You had acclimated to living in Korea just fine. Joon-Sung often joked that you acted more Korean than most Koreans and that you were a Korean Ajumma in a young woman’s body.

Your best friend other than Joon-Sung was your 80 year old neighbor Mr.Park and his cat Mittens which lead Yoongi into remembering a story about how you and Mr. Park spent all day hand making cat toys to take to the animal shelter which made Yoongi’s heart swell with affection before he quickly shook that feeling away.

The more he thought about it the more Yoongi realized how much of your life he had grown to know and how much he looked forward to seeing you and talking to you.

And how much he talked about you outside of work.

“I don’t know man, sounds like you like her.”, Hoseok said while having a couple drinks at Yoongi’s on his day off from the military.

“I do not. She’s just nice. We have to work together. That’s all.”

“Mmmhmm sure, that’s why you haven’t stopped talking about her all night. Jimin mentioned that you even told him about her over the phone. And your ears are doing that thing.”

“What thing?,” Yoongi questioned already knowing the answer.

“You know…that thing where you ears get all red when you’re lying or embarrassed. And by how red they are I’m thinking it’s a little of both.”, Hoseok chuckled before taking a sip of beer.

Yoongi couldn’t like you. He’s only known you for a few months. He doesn’t fall that easily for anyone. He knew his last partner for three years before asking them out. He hasn’t even hung out with you outside of work yet. He had your number, but that was because you asked him for it to send over a work file you were going to complete at home. He’s never texted you outside of a thanks once he’s received it. Sure he’s opened up a blank message and attempted to text you something almost every night. That’s normal though. Right? He’s just awkward and you’re just a friend.

Then he saw you walk in for the day. You were carrying two bags of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. One bag had Joon-Sungs name on it and the other had Yoongi’s. You made him cookies. He thought his heart was going to explode.

When Joon-Sung walked in to collect his package from you he started complaining about how he was going on a date with some guy who loved basketball so now he was trying to cram full of info to try and impress him. He showed you his phone,

“Who is this?”

“That’s Lebron James.”

“Is he any good?”

“Well he’s the highest scoring player in NBA history, he’s top 10 in steals and assists, and has four championships so yeah you could say he’s pretty good.”

“Okay and what team does he play for?”

You sighed, “He was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2003 then he went to the Miami Heat for a while and then back to Cleveland and now he’s with the Lakers.”

Yoongi listened as you rattled off basketball facts like nothing with his eyes wide.

Fuck I think I love her, he thought to himself.

Yoongi tried his best to push any thoughts he was having about you far out of his mind. But you were all he thought about. How good you smelled next to him. How sweet your voice sounded saying his name. How you would feel underneath him with his body pressed against yours…

Realizing he was about to really embarrass himself at work he quickly started thinking about that time he accidentally saw his mom in her underwear instead hoping to change the direction of his thoughts but because his brain seemed to hate him his thoughts wandered back to what you would look like in this black lace number he saw was being released by some high end lingerie brand. Maybe he could buy it for you as a gift. Or would that be weird? Quickly he excused himself needing to get up and get a distraction.

When he returned to his desk Joon-Sung was gone and you were typing away at your computer.

“Hey can I ask you a question?”, you said, “I hope I’m not going to make things weird between us.”

Yoongi froze. Did you notice? Could you read minds? Oh my God Yoongi that’s so stupid, people can’t read minds. He was so in his thoughts he forgot that you had asked him a question until he saw you staring back at him.

“Of course, go ahead.”, he managed to squeak out.

“So Joon—Sung is having a party this weekend. He wanted me to ask you to come. It’s nothing big. He does them every few weeks. He’s just social like that.”

Yoongi’s not sure if he’s relieved that you’re not some mind reader or if he’s hurt that you’re only asking him to come because someone else told you to and not that you actually want him there.

But he agrees to go regardless because he wants to spend time with you.

Yoongi doesn’t like to judge people but he’s a little shocked to find out that Joon-Sung lives in one of the fanciest most elite apartment complexes in Seoul. Something about having family money so he works mostly to give himself something to do. Yoongi admits he’s a little impressed and also a little jealous.

He came prepared with topics to talk about. He researched the bands he always sees you listening to even though most really weren’t his style. He looked into your home city so he could ask you questions. And if all else fails he can rely on basketball as a speaking point. He can’t remember the last time he put this much effort into getting to know someone.

He takes off his shoes and walks into the main living area and immediately starts scanning the room for you. He spots you right away.

He takes a moment to look you over. The dress you’re wearing is much shorter and tighter than your normal work outfit. It accentuates every one of your curves perfectly. He sees what he thinks is a thigh tattoo poking out the bottom. He wants to see more of it. You look so good and he can feel his temperature rising. Fuck Yoongi get it together. You’ve been acting like some deprived horny teenager he thinks while making a mental note to call his doctor. Maybe his hormones are out of whack or something. This isn’t normal for him to feel like this around someone.

He watches as you’re happily talking to some guy. Some guy who’s like ten feet tall and made of pure muscle and looks like he was ripped out of beauty magazine. Maybe that is your type. Maybe he should introduce you to Jungkook. At least then he’d still get to see you after his service is up because you’d clearly not be interested in someone like him.

You’re laughing at something the guy said while placing your hand on his bicep.

Well this is something Yoongi never thought about. He was so consumed in his feelings for you that he never stopped to think about whether or not you liked him too or if you were even available. What if you’re already seeing someone? What if you’re happily married with two kids? He never asked you about your relationships since it felt too personal at the time. He feels like the room is spinning as he is trying to find another route when he hears you calling his name.

You walk over and wrap your arms around him in a hug, “I’m so glad you decided to come.”

He smiles feeling some relief as you lead him to the kitchen to get a drink and something to eat.

You’re both eating a piece of pizza when you ask him a question.

“This is random but do you have a nickname? I mean besides Suga or Agust D of course.”

He shakes his head.

“You look like a Yoongles. Has anyone ever called you that?”

“A few fans have online but that’s it.”, he chuckles.

“Well I think it suits you. Or maybe Yoongily Boongily Bear.”

“Okay” he snorts trying to fake indifference but in that moment he realized that he’d let you call him Captain Dumbass if you wanted to just so he could see your smile and hear your giggle again.

Yoongi had gone to talk to one of your other co workers for a while to give you a break from him since you’d been attached at the hip. He was coming back from the bathroom when he noticed you were nowhere to be found.

Did you leave already? And without even saying goodbye. That hurt a little more than he wanted it to. He didn’t get the chance to ask you about your hometown. Now he’s stuck with all these useless facts about some city he’s never even been to.

Just as he was about to give up and head home someone moved the large curtain hanging against the window and he recognized your figure leaning against the balcony outside. Slowly he made his way there.

“I thought you left.”, he said when you turned to look at him after hearing the door open.

“No it was just getting to people-ish in there, I needed a break.”

Yoongi felt bad for intruding on your space.

“Oh I’m sorry. I’ll go back inside.”

He felt electricity shoot through his body after you grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the railing, “No stay. I like spending time with you.”

He felt his heart skip.

The two of you stood in silence for a few moments while staring down at the vast city below.

“I like to look out at the city when I’m overwhelmed or when my anxiety gets too much.”, you suddenly spoke, “I like watching the lights, seeing all the people move around. Some going to work, some coming home. Couples going on dates. Some people are down there having the best day of their life while others are having the worst. It’s comforting in a weird way.”, you chuckled, “To know you’re not alone out here in the world.”

Yoongi looked you over quietly. He didn’t know you struggled so much with anxiety and feelings like that. He knew you had anxiety which is why he never got you anything with a lot of caffeine, but he thought it would just make your heart race or something. He didn’t know you suffered so harshly from it. You always seemed to calm and put together. He felt a strong urge to just wrap you in a big fluffy blanket and give you a kitten to hold as he cuddled you close while telling you it’ll all be okay.

“It’s funny actually. I never really listened to your music before I met you.”

Yoongi gasped dramatically acting extremely hurt.

You giggled, “I know. I mean I knew of you guys and such but it wasn’t really my thing. But when I found out I was going to be working with you I wanted to know about your music and having something to talk about with you. Honestly I went into it not having high expectations.”

Now Yoongi was genuinely a little hurt but he knew everyone was entitled to their own opinions and feelings and that’s why music was so great.

You continued, “I was taken back by how real your music was. How full of emotion and the raw feelings you conveyed. Your song The Last, man I cried after hearing that. To see someone struggle as much as you did with mental health issues and still come out on top even though you had to fight for it. It gave me hope. Maybe one day I’ll be okay too.”

Yoongi thought about every funny scenario he could. That time Jin shoved an entire donut in his mouth and then accidentally coughed it all over Namjoon’s face or that time his brother slipped on some ice and conveniently landed right in a giant puddle of dirty water like he was in a cartoon. Anything to stop himself from crying in front of you.

“Then I listened to Snooze. And that song has become like my anthem. Any time I feel the walls closing in on me or I think I can’t do it any more I play that one and I can feel the gray clouds being pulled away and the sun shining down.”, you chuckled, “You have got to introduce me to WooSung by the way.”

Yoongi laughed with you but deep down he knew he was NEVER introducing you to WooSung unless it was at your wedding after you’d already exchanged vows and kissed and you were officially Mrs. Min Yoongi. Then MAYBE he might let you meet him…from across the room…over video chat.

“I’m glad my music could help you so much. Any time I hear something like that it gives me the motivation to keep going too.”, he said not really sure how to comfort you in that moment.

“How did you do it?”

He look at you confused.

“How did you heal yourself?”

Yoongi found himself chuckling. Not because he thought it was a funny question or anything but he never thought he’d be answering questions like that.

“I mean I don’t know if I’ll every be fully healed. At first I used alcohol. I’d drink until I wasn’t coherent enough to feel. Then I switched to working myself until I was so exhausted I didn’t have the energy to worry. But now I go to therapy and take medicine when it gets really bad. I use music as an escape without overworking myself. I also surround myself with people who I know are good for me. I think that’s really important.”

You nodded in understanding.

“Thank you Yoongi. For helping not only myself but also yourself and the millions of fans around the world.”

Fuck he wanted to kiss you so bad and and hold you and make sure you never felt another ounce of sadness ever again.

This conversation kind of killed the mood admittedly though. You just opened up to him about something that must’ve been difficult and he can’t just be like oh hey by the way I want to date you and hopefully do unspeakable things to you one day so do you want to go out with me? That would be really insensitive.

Instead he was going to simply invite you to hang out as friends, offer to be your support and see where it goes from there.

“Hey Y/N…”

Just then the door swung open and a very drunk Joon-Sung came stumbling out.

“There you are. I looked everywhere for you guys. I figured you were blowing him in the bathroom already.”

Yoongi choked on his spit and felt his entire body heat up at that statement.

“Did you tell him how you love him and you think he has the prettiest eyes and the nicest smile and the cutest little butt?”

“Go.to.bed.Joon-Sung.”, you hissed.

“Alright alright, but if you two are gonna fuck use the spare bedroom. I paid too much for my couch for there to be naked ass cheeks on it.”, he slurred before stumbling back inside.

You turned back around and continued to stare out at the city below. Yoongi thought you were handling this well. If it was him he would’ve already jumped over the railing from embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.”, you whispered when he came up next to you, “I didn’t want you to find out like that. It’s gonna be weird between us now. Monday morning I’ll ask for them to reassign me to a new department.”

“Y/N”

“Hell I’ll even move out of the city.”

“Y/N”

“I’ve heard Busan is nice.”

“Y/N”

“Just please don’t write a song about me. I don’t think I can recover knowing my most embarrassing moment is being retold on stage as seven guys do some extreme choreography while wearing coordinating outfits.”

Y/N!”

Finally he got your attention. He couldn’t help but smile at how flushed you were.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

He used the new boost in confidence from knowing that you liked him too to take a step closer to you. So close he could feel the warmth of his breath bouncing back off of your skin.

“Y/N…Can…I…Kiss…You?”

You didn’t say anything but nodded which was all he needed to lean in placing his lips on yours. It’s cheesy but he felt like fireworks were going off. His senses were overloaded with you. That familiar sweet vanilla perfume you always wear. The softness of your lips. The taste of the pizza and hard cider you had earlier. It made him feel like he could fly.

“So you think I have a cute butt huh?”, he smirked against your lips.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re going to remember?”

He stepped back putting his hands up in defense, “Hey listen, you don’t even want to know the things I’ve thought about your butt over the last couple months.”

“Yeah well maybe you can show me instead then huh.”, you smiled pulling him in for another kiss.

“I would be happy to”

[theysaidhush]

hii, I just saw your ot8 skz x reader reaction. Could you make one of these for enhypen? It might be a bit nsfw?

My boys won't hesitate to come out for you boy.

➝ OT7!Enhypen x 8thMember!Reader ➝ A journalist asks weird questions, your boys gives weird answers - well, not so much, they are still idols, but they really want to. ➝ A bit suggestive, swear words?

➝ 1,4k w

You don't mind people asking about your genre. Well, you usually don't mind it. Whenever and wherever, you really don't mind it. But sometime - like, right now, you just want to rip your hair off your scalp and yell until people's eardrum explode. Yeah, it's either this or that, there's no in-between when it comes to this question.

And unfortunately for you, the second option seems to be the least effective given the situation, yet it is the one who appeals you, very much - way too much.

"How hard are the choreographies for you?"

You think the addition of those pitiful words 'for you' is really unnecessary. Well, the person asking you this is almost fifty for God's sake, they should know how to behave like a proper adult, shouldn't he? But here you are, smiling because 'no, you can't answer misogynistic remarks or it will be detrimental to your reputation'. But what about their reputation, huh? You absolutely hate the fact that Korea is one of those countries where most of the men treats women like they are dirt under their feet. Did they came out of their father's a**?!

"Oh, I can assure you that I have no problems with the choreographies. And even if I do have some troubles some time, I just stay in the practice room in order to get better and show the very best side of myself for our fans."

You practiced your speech, you know it like the back of your hand - well you need to when you are a girl in a boy group, in Korea, what a pain. The interviewer seems upset about the way you react to this awful question - who even employed him? This is a question a baby could ask, did he even work on his interview? And you smile. It's bitter-sweet because you don't want to smile, but you enjoy seeing the tip of his ears turning red.

You just know that Sunoo, who's sitting right in front of you, is smiling like a little psychopath - from your point a view, fans tend to think that he has a pretty smile, you too, but sometimes you just know that he's not smiling for the good reason; like now, he's just making fun of the old man in front of you.

"Yeah sh's very hardworking! She always stay up late in order to practice."

Jake spit out this lie like he was born to do so. But it does not surprises you, Jake is used having his way with everyone, he just have to blink those round pretty puppy eyes and everyone believe whatever nonsense that come out of his mouth. You both know that you're probably this first member that gets home when practice is done - you're a bit lazy, but just a bit.

Jake defending you was just the right thing for the interviewer to babble the rest of his nonsense.

"I heard you all live in the same dorm? Isn't it a bit hard to accommodate to her way of living? Do you guys share a bathroom?"

You laugh out loud because you just can't help it. You're glad that your occidental fans will be on your side because else, you would be in trouble. At this point you don't really know if this journalist want a scoop or you to get angry in front of the cameras, only to post it later and label you as disrespectful.

"Yeah, I'm glad we can talk about it. She uses all the hot water and stay in the bathroom for hours! Women"

Jay is the first to answer the odd question with the exact answer the journalist was aiming at: a cliché. The way the American is looking at you is just enough to tell you that he concluded the same thing. Once again, you notice how the two native-english people were the first to speak. The three of you are not used to this king of treatment, you guess it's the reason why they're the first to speak up.

"Not longer than Sunoo."

The ever so innocent Sunghoon tries to contest the inside joke that you and Jay were having, fearing that it might upset you and be inappropriate given the situation you were in. He tries to defend you, it's cute.

"Hey, that's not true!"

You all look at him because what is 'not true' is what he just said. And he even have the nerve to act surprised and outraged - well, as much as is cute pretty face allows him to be, you only see a little dumpling growing its non-existing eyebrows.

"Well, maybe a bit. How else my skin could be this smooth?"

"I must admit that I'm a bit jealous. Sunoo is prettier than me, and im a girl!"

You insist on the last word. It's like a big fuck you to the bald man in front of you - he's not really bald, but he deserves to be bald. Sunoo turns all the way to send you a heart with his fingers - you really like how his cheeks get fuller as he smiles brightly at you, he looks pure. He looked far from pure when those same cheeks were pressing on your inner thighs- Oh. This is definitely not the time nor the place.

You don't really know what happened but the interview continue without any other dumb questions and you're allowed to breath for a few minutes. Well, you try. It's like your mind is polluted with the exact images the grown man was accusing you off - well those accusations, the second one only, are kinda true. You can't remember a day you were alone in the bathroom, and it's even harder to remember when you were not corrupting every once of that same bathroom with...impure things?

You all get back to the changing room, waiting for the company car to arrive.

"What a prick."

Sunoo is the first one to talk, almost lying toward the couch to have at least a sit - or alf a seat, both option seems appealing given the fact that he has to compete against seven people for the comfort of a cushion under their bum; the chair were not comfortable.

"Yeah, I hope our fans give him a bad reputation. They're quite good at that."

"This is mean and you know it."

You answer Heeseung while crossing your arms, almost sulking at the mere idea that this man would be hunted down for just being raised like this.

"Yeah? He has nor right talking to you like that. And impplying those things."

"Implying? Was he?" you chuckle and uncross your arms, eating toward your jacket that was left on one of the coat rack in the corner of the room. A brief flashback of approximately two days ago floods your memory and you're left breathless and a bit hot and bothered at the memory of Sunghoon's lips on your neck, his hand between your thighs. You are grateful you are not facing, otherwise you wouldn't hear the end of it - they can be persistent in their teasing, you only Lind it when you are the victim (you are still teasing Ni-ki about those pre-pre-debut Twice's video, you might the worse of them all).

"Yeah, but they don't know that." Jake says, unbothered by the whole situation. This little piece of shit is probably the person who doesn't even deserve to talk about this subject. Any chance he gets, he's stealing the air from your lungs - and your panties, but only when you are in the dormitory.

"Still, no one deserves to have their life ruined because of the way they think, if that makes sense?"

"Your Korean is getting better."

You smile softly at Jungwon, patting his head as you walk around the mini-couch, "Your English too."

You really want to hug him, or sit on Jay's laps because it's literally the best sit ever, or burrow your frame into Sunghoon's warm embrace. But you can't really do that here. Anyone can enter the room and everyone can take pictures, you wouldn't risk it.

But you don't mind it. There's always time for you to enjoy the presence of your boyfriends. And you can also enjoy the way they fight tooth and nail for your 'honor' - their words, not yours.

[amiti-art]

HI! I’m here to ask honest opinion on….Lore Olympus. I’m sorry for putting my opinion here….but I hate it. I’m sorry, I try to see it in a good way….put it paints Apollo as a horrible person. And there are other things that I’d respectfully don’t like about it.However, I want to see your opinion. That is if you’re willing to share it. BTW, I fricking love your drawings., especially the ones about Apollo and his myths! Have a good day or night!

Hello!

I'm glad you like my art 🫶🏻

So, Lore Olympus.

This probably won't come as a surprise to most people, considering how much Apollo art I've made, but I hate Lore Olympus. And not only because of how poorly Apollo was portrayed there.

I'm going to be honest with you: I never read much of it. I read maybe a few chapters some years ago because it was advertised as Greek mythology retelling, but I didn't continue because it was boring to me.

Much later, I saw a lot of posts pointing out all the things wrong with Lore Olympus, and boy oh boy, it's bad.

From what I've seen, it’s hardly a retelling; if the names of the characters were changed, nobody would realize this is supposed to be myth-inspired.

And look, I'm not saying you can't change anything when making a Greek mythology retelling, because it's simply impossible to keep everything the same as in the myths—especially when you want to create a story that covers many myths. The math isn't mathing when it comes to Greek mythology, because the myths changed over time, and different city-states had their own versions of the stories, so it's pretty impossible to make a cohesive timeline without changing something.

But from what I've seen, there isn't much Greek influence in this Greek mythology retelling. From the way the characters dress and speak to the food they eat, there is nothing Greek about this comic, it’s completely Americanized.

And I hate Americanization so much. I remember watching Netflix's "The Witcher" and being so disappointed because there was nothing Slavic about it. They kept Jaskier's original name from the books and called it a day. They turned it into another generic fantasy show.

I know that many Greek people feel the same way about Lore Olympus and other American adaptations of their myths. I love Percy Jackson, but the whole "gods moved to the USA because this is where Western civilization is" is just so icky to me. Greece still exists, hello??????

Back to Lore Olympus. For some reason it's fans think that the comic is a valid source for mythology, and they spread so much misinformation.

For the last time: Persephone was abducted in the myths. There is no version where she goes to the Underworld on her own.

Demeter is a heartbroken mother looking for her beloved daughter, not some evil helicopter parent standing between Persephone and her happiness. Justice for Apollo and Demeter.

Also, Persephone is sometimes drawn like a child and looks more like Hades' daughter than his wife. Why?????

And from what I've seen, Persephone is ridiculously powerful for some reason and fights Kronos or something???????

Also, apparently, Leto is portrayed as a manipulative mother????? Leto??? The Titan goddess of motherhood??? Why????

I don't understand why this comic got so popular, to be honest. Probably because of the artstyle.

[spookieloverslittlemind]

Their favourite movie…

includes: Michael Myers, Pinhead, Brahms Heelshire, Art the Clown, Sun and Moon (fnaf), Marta (Outlast 2)

spoilers: mentions of Saw and LOTR endings but tried to keep it vague just in case

Michael

I wouldn’t say he’s “happy” to watch anything, because Michael doesn’t really express “happiness” in any context, but he is content to sit completely still for hours on end, watching whatever you choose. He doesn’t form opinions on films so doesn’t have a favourite, but when you watch a gory horror film together, the SECOND the end credits are rolling he is up and grabbing his knife, heading for the door; Mike loves some inspo x

Pinhead

Fascinated by human media, having long forgotten that aspect of humanity. Pinhead enjoys films that he finds mentally stimulating, thrillers and mysteries mostly (gory films have him scoffing because he could easily make a far more gory scene in the blink of an eye). That said, Pinhead doesn’t like rewatching films because if they have a mystery and he’s solved it, he has no interest in seeing it again because “It is done; an experience that cannot be repeated”. His favourite film is Saw because he was completely blindsided by the plot twist at the end - obviously, a body on the floor of the entire film is nothing more than furniture to Pinhead, so when bro GOT UP?? Pinhead was losing it. Had to pause the film to pace for a few minutes. Couldn’t comprehend how he didn’t see it coming.

Brahms

Every Barbie movie from the early 2000’s, classic animated Disney princess films, and Peter Pan; Brahms thinks the princesses are very pretty (often comparing them to you regardless of your gender because he romanticises every fibre of your being) and believes himself to be the boy who never quite grew up, ironically. Doesn’t mind gory films, but doesn’t like complicated ones because he gets very frustrated; prefers to cuddle up with you and watch something wholesome. Will get pouty and is not above begging to start a movie over the second it’s finished.

Art

He’s pretty casual about the films he likes, he prefers classics that have decent remakes and his favourite is Carrie - a revenge plot with magical powers that cause a gory rampage? Count Art in. What he is passionate about, though, is the film he hates more than any other that fits the same criteria of a classic with a decent remake: It. And it’s literally because Art thinks he himself is the best scary clown. Sometimes you put it on (either the classic or new, the reaction is the same) just to piss him off and Art will come storming in, signing angry gibberish with flailing hands until he’s sulking on the couch beside you because he will insist on watching the entire thing again so that he can complain throughout.

Sun and Moon

Sun likes exciting films with happy endings, a very big fan of action movies. Contrary to this, his favourite movie isn’t just one, but the full Lord Of The Rings trilogy - Sun loved reading the books in between watching the films to digest every scrap of lore, but after watching the end of Return Of The King? Couldn’t bring himself to read the last book, because it was too sad. Sun is adamant he will never rewatch the trilogy because it upset him but objectively, that’s his favourite. He’s overjoyed to watch anything with you, because he loves spending time with you, but you have to tell him in advance it has a happy ending or he wont watch it, and if you lie? Moon pending.

Moon prefers quieter, calmer and darker films, with a particular love for gothic horrors based on the supernatural rather than slashers/gorefests. His favourite is An American Werewolf In London, the negative aspects of the transformation being very relatable to Moon.

Marta

Say hello to the biggest film critic of all time. Marta will insist that watching movies is a waste of good time that could be spent praising God or eradicating heretics, so will turn her nose up at almost every suggestion you make, but when you show her John Wick? Oh, Marta’s sense of justice is PREENING. She’s all about that. By the end, her internal monologue is begging God not to let her joy show on her face. As long as you tell her a film is like John Wick, she’ll give it a chance, but John Wick remains her favourite.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

who's daniel ricciardo anyways?

series masterlist

NEW HEIGHTS | EP 50

comments

user01 is jason a secret daphne jones fan? he knows about the eagles t-shirt.

user02 i'm so here for the daphne jones/travis kelce love story

user03 months later we're going to look back on this and know it was the start of the greatest love story ever.

user04 as a daphne fan. it's a cute idea but like do the other people in the comments know anything about daphne?

↳ user05 right? like at least educate yourselves on daphne lore before you start shipping her with someone.

user06 jason's doing god's work for daphne and travis.

user07 and the award for biggest daphne and travis' biggest shipper is jason kelce!

user08 reading these comments is making me cringe a little bit. do people not know a thing about daphne? like i'm not even a fan of her and i know.

↳ user09 know what?

↳ user08 daphne's married. she's been married for almost a year.

user10 the reason daphne probably didn't talk to him is because she's married and doesn't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

↳ user11 SHE'S MARRIED? HOW THE FUCK AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT?

isabella perez to the americans, who the fuck is travis kelce?

logan sargeant nfl player for the kansas city chiefs

zoya torres do you mean football?

logan sargeant I AM NOT GETTING INTO THIS ARGUMENT WITH LANDO AGAIN ZOYA! DROP IT!

rowan todd is this about the daphne thing?

daniel jones-ricciardo what daphne thing? who's talking about my wife? who do i have to fight?

isabella perez nfl crazy fanboys who are demanding your wife divorce you and date travis kelce because "who's daniel ricciardo anyways?"

max jones-verstappen i'm throwing hands. is that the right way to use the phrase?

mae jones-verstappen yes max, it is. max jones-verstappen as i said, i'm throwing hands

charles leclerc are they insane?

dulce perez they watch grown men chase after a ball for over 2 hours. yes.

logan sargeant there are specific rules!

dulce perez you're literally the only one who cares.

daniel ricciardo that's not true! go bills! logan sargeant boo! go dolphins!

alex albon are you proud of what you've started dulce?

dulce perez i now realize that i've made a huge mistake.

mae jones-verstappen i'm american and i don't get the sport.

logan sargeant that sound like a you problem. mae jones-verstappen you've grown bold since you were added to the group chat logan sargeant it's the effect you people have on me.

natalia ruiz who the fuck is travis kelce and why is hitting on my wife?

daniel jones-ricciardo we are not doing this again nat. she's my wife! natalia ruiz you keep telling yourself that honey.

oscar piastri so natalia's like, in love with daphne, rowan, and penelope?

natalia ruiz don't forget my other wives, lily, mae, and carmen. dulce perez she just says that to piss them all off and it works. natalia ruiz men have such fragile egos

daphne jones she's not wrong.

isabella perez daphne! what do you think about travis kelce?

daphne jones-ricciardo i know his brother is jason kelce? he plays for the eagles. why?

daniel jones-ricciardo no reason! no reason at all! please ignore it!

max jones-verstappen travis declared his love for you on the internet and now daniel feels insecure you're going to dump him and date travis.

daniel jones-ricciardo sometimes i hate that we're related now. max jones-verstappen no you don't you fucking liar. you love me. daniel jones-ricciardo because i happen to like your wife so i tolerate you. max jones-verstappen you're a big fat fucking liar jones-ricciardo!

liked by maxverstappen1, maejones, isabellaperez and others

danieljonesricciardo who's daniel ricciardo anyways?

tagged: daphnejonesricciardo

view all comments

user93 not the wedding picture! daniel jones-ricciardo, the man that you are!!

maejones tell me you're jealous without telling me you're jealous

↳ danieljonesricciardo i'm not jealous! but i don't know who daniel ricciardo is, i only know daniel jones-ricciardo.

isabellaperez yeah, daniel you tell 'em!

maxverstappen1 oh my god. of course you would do this.

↳ danieljonesricciardo it's a problem when i do it but when you lost your shit over mae and joshua getting shipped by the internet over their "rekindlement" it was fine

↳ maxverstappen1 that's different! you're married!

user81 the fucking wedding picture is taking me out. this man is trying to prove a point.

nataliaruiz she's my wife ricciardo, don't you forget it.

↳ danieljonesricciardo i will steal your child if you don't stop.

↳ charles_leclerc you leave my daughter alone jones-ricciardo!

user87 SHE'S MARRIED? HOW DID I MISS THIS?

user59 oh my god daniel jones-ricciardo. i fucking love you

vancityreynolds the only person allowed to steal your wife or profess her love for her is my wife.

↳ danieljonesricciardo see you get it. just like only i can profess my love for you or steal you from your wife.

↳ vancityreynolds that's right my love!

↳ user02 i fucking love this duo!

scottyjames31 oh brother! this guy's so jealous

↳ danieljonesricciardo i know where you live scotty.

NEW HEIGHTS | EP 54

comments

user12 i for one did not know daphne jones was married.

user13 to everyone who was pushing the daphne x travis agenda, you sure look dumb now, don't you?

user14 i was so wrong when i said this would be the greatest love story ever.

user15 so she's a wag but not a wag for the person or sport we all thought?

↳ user16 people wanted her to be a football wag when she's been an f1 wag for over 7 years.

user17 jason kelce developing a man crush on daniel jones-ricciardo was not on my bingo card for 2023

user18 f1 silly season is silly seasoning so good. i thought we had gotten past this with the daphlonso thing but nooo

user19 the kelce brothers not knowing what formula one was before all of this is so fucking funny to me

↳ user20 them not knowing what it was and now jason kelce having a crush on daniel is so fucking funny to me

↳ user19 right, this whole thing is so fucking funny.

user21 okay but i would also be like travis, i just wouldn't put the signs together. like what if one of her last names was her mom's last name? i'm just dumb like that

↳ user22 must be all the hits to the head getting to travis.

isabella perez daniel, this is very important, did you or did you not receive an apology from travis kelce for hitting on your wife?

daniel jones-ricciardo i did. why is it important? arthur leclerc so we can secretly stop shitting on him.

sebastian vettel they have a group chat away from the "responsible adults"

sebastian vettel i wasn't aware fernando was responsible but here we are.

fernando alonso do not tempt me sebastian, i can still add mark.

daphne jones-ricciardo i feel like i'm owed an apology because jason kelce just hit on my husband.

rowan todd reminder, your husband publically flirts with ryan all the fucking time.

esteban ocon i fear we may have to keep him away from ryan in vegas.

mick schumacher get them both drunk enough and they'll try to get married by elvis.

daniel jones-ricciardo that is so not true. i would marry max. max jones-verstappen and we would do it sober! bailey winters you two are worse than my parents, and they've been married for over 20 years.

freya vettel so we can stop hating on travis?

isabella perez i think we do freya. this is tragic. i was enjoying it.

oscar piastri you said he was built like brick wall. that was it.

isabella perez i know but i enjoyed george's presentation on why daphne and travis would never work out. it was very informative.

daniel jones-ricciardo HE MADE A PRESENTATION? george russell yes, and my main reason was that everyone would think it was a publicity stunt for that one game that everyone tunes in to watch but it's simply to watch the halftime show and not the actual game.

logan sargeant i watch the game!

zoya torres that's because you're part of the small percentage that watches the game. speaking of, who do you guys think is performing next year?

lewis hamilton will it finally be the year daphne says yes?

daphne jones-ricciardo will xnda record a song with me? lewis hamilton no daphne jones-ricciardo there's your answer

rowan todd i think shakira should get a solo halftime show

logan sargeant the council has suggest i recommend daisy jones & the six

isabella perez peso pluma.

dulce perez you're joking, right? isabella perez of course i am. i think a huge reggaeton number works better.

freya vettel hear me out. one direction reunion.

isabella perez or, hear me out, daphne performs with one-hit wonder xnda

lewis hamilton one-hit wonder? isabella perez you recorded one song and dipped lewis. you are a one-hit wonder.

ollie bearman you people are insane.

carlos sainz tell us something we don't know oliver. isabella perez that is my son! watch it sainz!

fernando alonso i hate every single one of you and i can't stand any of you.

sebastian vettel liar! fernando alonso especially you.

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¡leclerc-s speaks! honestly, this opportunity was too fucking funny to pass up. i like to think i fucking hilarious when i'm sleep deprived. this is 100% not funny. i also probably got the dates wrong but that's on my sleep deprived brain. i cannot be held accountable for the mistakes it makes.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!