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Forbidden treats part 2

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Day #86

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INVETNING

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Sniper from tf2 looks like if Wile e Coyote was turned into a hot guy

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Hi could u do sniper x fem buff Australian s/o who's like twice his size ?

(Platonic or romantic idc)

I could!

Platonic

Waoh..

He thinks you’re neat, if a little scary

Associates you with heavy a lot since he’s also pretty big and buff

Sniper isn’t very big on talking to anyone, so you’d probably have to approach him

If you’re more extroverted hes happy to listen, doesn’t mind being around you

If you’re introverted like him he’s alright with just being in each others space, you guys hang out in his camper sometimes

Doesn’t mind taking you camping, either

You guys bond over growing up in Australia

He thinks you’re way more Australian than him ;(

Romantic

Waoh…

This guy has a staring problem

(/pos)

You physically can’t pry more than a few words out of this dingus

You think he’s being rude, but he just doesn’t want to make a fool of himself by stuttering

His ears go red if you’re too close

That’s about all that visually happens to him when you interact, otherwise he’s just.. standing there awkwardly

Doesn’t even really make eye contact with you

When you’re finally dating?? Hoo boy

He wants you to snap him like a twig

What who said that

Anyway he’s clingy, likes being around you

He’s still a bit awkward and silent, but now with the added feature of floating around you at any given point in time

He has heart palpitations whenever you touch him

Put your arm around him and watch him crumble like a sheet of paper

He loves his big scary girlfriend omg

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hello pyro nation i have updated my pyro shrine ^_^

putting this together was kind of a pain especially getting all those pictures to fit together but IT WAS WORTH IT!!! YAY!!!

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Waoh…

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using this as an excuse to talk about Pyro's silliness!!! (please note that I am not a licensed psychologist and any (polite) criticism towards my interpretation of the mental illnesses mentioned in this post is greatly appreciated to help me better characterize this fictional little guy :))

Pyro is a very troubled individual. I imagine they struggle with a few different mental illnesses, but their most prominent is PTSD. They struggle with focus and often struggle with sleeping and staying asleep. This comes from an event regarding their childhood, where they were trapped in a housefire and shouldn't have made it out. As a result, they actually hate the smell of smoke (hence the gas mask) and being in tight, small spaces. Flashbacks don't happen all that often, at the very least, considering how repressed the memory is.

I briefly touched on this, but I also think they struggle with facial dysmorphia, but more specifically body dysmorphic disorder, where they are hyperfocused on their appearance at all times. They HATE looking at themselves, and are VERYY uncomfortable with others looking at them as well. The burns affect a good portion of the right half of their body, and even after a whole bunch of grafting and surgery thanks to their family, the results are pretty noticeable. Hence the suit and avoidance of mirrors.

Another disability I think they have is bipolar disorder. This usually appears in the form of their hallucinations. I don't think they look EXACTLY like they do in the "Meet the Pyro" video, but I do think there are certain elements (the distinct lack of fire, the oversaturated colors, the music, etc) that do actually play out in their head while they're in a manic state. They're positive they're not hurting anyone, they're just playing! I think this also further adds to their struggle with sleeping because even when they're depressive, they're DEPRESSIVE. No one sees them for however long the episode is, maybe Engie can get them to poke their head out of their room when offering food, but oftentimes they're basically nonexistent.

And, of course, the tism, I think they're higher up on the spectrum. I imagine they stim a lot and struggle to interact with people. They struggle with instructions that aren't clear enough and recognize non-verbal communication, for example. I also think they like patterns and textures! They like running their fingers along different surfaces, their hands are the only parts of their body that are actually familiar to the team because their gloves are the only things that regularly come off. They also struggle with recognizing when they're in pain, though this might also just be because of nerve damage.

anyway love my little thing crushes them in my hand like a stress toy and gives them a reassuring smooch on the forehead

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Thing ☝️

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*Till I tuah

She team on my fortress till i two

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After extensive research (scrolling down on my blog a few times) I noticed I have never headcanoned ages, so for my reemergence, here’s how old I think the mercs are and some other stuff :)

Scout

23 (im pretty sure this is canon)

Born April 8th

has a fuckass tooth gap, needed braces as a kid that he hated and refuses to wear his retainer now (medic does NOT approve)

terrible diet, he's only so thin because of his occupation and insane metabolism. He hasn't seen a vegetable since last time he visited his ma.

On that note, he's also TERRIBLE about drinking water and gets confused as to why he always has a headache.

boyfailure <3

decent cook, actually

as in the food he makes is edible, despite however it might look visually

grew up just outside of Boston

Keeps random shit on his walls, constantly needs more thumbtacks. Posters, post its, stickers, pictures, signs... why is there a fucking SPOON taped next to his door this is ridiculous.

Sometimes he catches himself sucking his thumb at his big age, the loser

when he was a kid he got bullied for not looking like his siblings like at all

Soldier

38

born July 3rd (WHY COULDN'T YOU HOLD HIM IN A LITTLE LONGER, MOM.)

world war autism

both as in intensity and special interest

First got into US military type stuff hearing about the Vietnam war as a kid, it fascinated him and made him absolutely determined to help

grew up in Minnesota, ironically HATES the cold

typa guy to make himself run laps and junk if he realized he was being rude to women or something

probably ace, yes I know he has children shut up

Pyro

probably the youngest on the team, maybe 25?

born December 20th

facial dysmorphia :(

they have burn scars all over their body from an old memory they've since pushed deep into the back of their head

they can handle not wearing their suit if they absolutely have to, but avoid mirrors lest they stare into it for a long time not quite recognizing the person looking back at them

medic and engie are really the only ones that have seen them outside of the suit more than once

sorry that got sad lol

anyway they hate being infantilized, not only for being the youngest but also for being delusional

it doesn't happen as often as you'd think, at least. But sometimes medic will baby talk them when they're getting a checkup or scout will say something ignorant. They can ignore it but it gets annoying.

they enjoy chocolate ice cream

a fan of the cold in general

pretty handy, actually. They built their flamethrowers and a good few of their melee weapons, engie taught them a lot.

cutting this short cause I've been yapping about pyro for too long

Demoman

36

born January 31st

has only actually been to Scotland like twice, he was born in the us with his mum, just grew up with her long enough to gain the accent anyway

doesn't know a lick of Gaelic, sorry. Obviously words like "bonnie" and "Gob" slip out, but that's just basic Scottish vocabulary lmao

he has a collection of eye patches, he thinks his missing eye is kinda cool when he isn't annoyed about his lack of depth perception

he uses bombs specifically because of his lack of depth perception, actually, since as long as he hits within the vicinity of his target he usually wins

he's a fan of the outdoors, hangs around sniper sometimes

crazy smart, specifically a chemistry nerd (obviously) but he can answer crazy specific questions on anything. this also means he's very good at converting measurements, if you're ever baking or something lol

that last part specifically helps whenever the European dweebs say something metric and the Americans need a translator.

"yeah that's 55 kilometers away" "..." "that's about 34 miles, lad" "oooohhh"

Heavy

54, the eldest

born August 16th

hes generally pretty good at English, but certain words annoy him

like colorful? jump

likes working out with soldier, specifically lifting. The most wholesome gym bros.

helps short people reach things on tall shelves

not a whole lot I haven't already said about him lol

Engineer

42

born June 10th

horrific blue eye stare

get brown eye contacts I'm scared

scout clings to him almost as much as pyro does, actually.

he doesn't mind all that much, at least

speaks Spanish pretty fluently, though he has a very obvious accent and has yet to master rolling his Rs, he's trying his best at least <3

he's a fan of fall

used to be the worlds most annoying angsty teenager, if you can believe it

grew out of it, obviously, but he still has a crap ton of old vinyl records of all the rock bands he used to listen to in secret in a box somewhere

(if you're wondering, his parents were NOT fans)

he has four siblings! he's the second eldest, two sisters and two brothers

knows a bit of medical stuff from medic, its how he put the healing factor into the dispenser

Medic

46

born March 19th

never went to medical school, but he did quite a bit of studying in both human anatomy and biology

so yeah he never had a medical license in the first place lol

he has a collection of bones and other bits (organs, wet specimens, etc etc)

human? animal? yes

the med bay smells like birds, its not sanitary

he's a good medic despite all of these, though! just double check that you have all your guts in order before and after an operation! scout still has a bird in his chest, after all.

off topic but he also has really thick hair that sheds a lot, like if he lays down somewhere you can find a bunch of black hairs like little snakes all over the place

^hes just like me for real!

like weirdly beefy? that medigun is heavier than it looks, and the backpack is even heavier

hed be a fan of squid game in a modern au

Sniper

30

born February 23rd

weirdly cagey about his birthday?? like he'll tell you if you ask but he'll be all like "what?? why do you need to know that??"

his footsteps don't make noise, he regularly startles people (scout) by just walking into a room and just standing there

sushi fan

like never gets sick, probably from being outside all the time his whole life but his immune system is made out of steel

medic finds this fascinating lol

blind as hell without his glasses

shaves with his knife just because he thinks its cool lmao

he has a scar on his cheek because of this though he lies and says its because he almost got hit by an enemy sniper

loser hides under his hat when he's embarrased

kisses him with tongue

Spy

50

born ??? (he says a different date every time someone asks)

THIS BITCH ISNT EVEN FRENCH!!!!!

grew up in like Nevada and puts on the whole french thing to be more anonymous

fuck is a petite chou fleur?? your little cauliflower?? come on now

#spyhater

no but I do think he is a spy, and a very good one at that (he managed to convince everyone he's french, after all)

he was supposed to be on a way more advanced team but got misplaced but he was useful on the team so he stayed there (and he felt guilty about leaving his son yet again)

needed braces as a kid, wears his retainer religiously

he's visibly uncomfortable with having his mask off, but not in the same way pyro is. He hates the idea of being seen more than they hate seeing themselves.

If he doesn't like you he won't make it obvious, but he'll just. stare at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. not even in a death glare way, more like he's calculating how many ways he could make you vanish into thin air

sniper thinks he's neat

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She team on my fortress till i two

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Are you a creature? Maybe one that's in a feature film? A creature feature you could say??

Indeed

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“Locking in” by switching to a class I’m equally bad at

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everyone say thank you hideo kojima