#i hate tagging it as that but I know that's what everyone is calling it :L
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cross my heart (hope to die)
˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ haiii :3 I only write like once a year but that won't stop me from yearning for these new characters. I love Amphoreus because I was a Greek myth nerd growing up and this new update tickles me in aaaall the right ways.
˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ tags : angst, established relationship, mentions of character death
˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ featuring : Mydei; minor spoilers for 3.0
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Mydeimos, the Crown Prince, has no fears. He tossed away his humanity when he embraced immortality, the tool that he needed to trek on this god-slaying journey. There was no room for fear, not when he had to fight the Titan of Violence. A man such as this was not capable of human emotions; or so he thought.
"So," you hum in a sing-song tone, draping your arms around Mydei's shoulders. "When will you take me to that new restaurant in Marmoreal Market?"
Mydei huffs, but makes no effort to peel your touch off of him. He turns around to meet your eyes; you're so close to him. If it were any other person, they would have faced the wrath of the Undying Lion.
You detect no change in his expression, so you start pouting. "Mydei! You promised me you would."
Mydei shrugs. "Did I?"
You roll your eyes, finally letting go of him and sitting on the empty spot next to him. "Dying doesn't exempt you from the promises you make, you know?"
The Prince can't help but crack a smile at this; you're the only person that he can comfortably joke about his immortality with. With you, it doesn't seem like the big deal everyone makes it out to be. Not the heroic Chrysos Heir trait that Phainon envies him for, or the source of worry for Aglaea and Tribbie. It's just another part of him that you've accepted.
Because you accept all of him.
You cross your arms and look away from him, mumbling about how the restaurant's been open for a month and it's not new anymore so there won't be as many people and why do you always have to go on such long expeditions, but Mydei shushes you by taking a strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear.
A whisper of apology.
"It's okay," you mumble, extending your pinky. "Just promise again, for this life."
"I'll make a thousand promises if that's what you want," he says, and it comes out rough, like he's doing it to get you off his back. But you know better, you know him better.
He raises his own pinky finger to entwine it with yours. "How does the saying go again?"
"You're so forgetful," you laugh, and it's the most melodious tune he knows.
"Cross my heart..."
Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. He's content with this destiny, because he knows he is not given the privilege to choose. He must lay down his god for the glory of what little humanity he has left within him. He will trade a thousand lives for peace, and he will enter a losing battle with only his faith in the infinite lives that he has.
Perhaps this is what made him forget how flimsy a life really is.
In his usual boredom, Phainon once riddled him. "How heavy do you think the world really is? Like, a thousand Dromas?"
Mydei's response, in typical fashion, was to huff and call Phainon's musings irrelevant. But now, he thinks he can answer that question.
The world is really light in his arms. The world is pale, cold, and losing a lot of blood.
"I'm sorry. Don't hate me," you manage to say before your last breath. Your voice is hoarse, but Mydei would beg Oronyx to loop it forever because he still thinks your voice is his lullaby.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. He promised to take you to that restaurant, and many more. He vowed to bring peace to this world to one day crown you as his queen.
Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. But this was worse than death. For you, he would trade it all; his status as Crown Prince, his pride as the Undying Lion, his immortality.
A thousand life for yours.
"... and hope to die."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
©2025 starrygazers. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.
if you liked this, consider buying me a ko-fi! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ
#imagine blog#honkai star rail#hsr#mydei#mydeimos#mydei hsr#hsr mydei#mydei x reader#xreader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#mydeimos x reader#amphoreus#honkai star rail mydei#☆—starrygazers
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SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY ⌇ 우리를
pairing ᝰ ni-ki x fem!reader — featuring.. sunghoon | word count: 5.7k+
⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ childhood friends, tease ni-ki, middle school to highschool au, cussing, angst if you use a magnifying glass, fluff, kissing, underage drinking, miscommunication.
synopsis — Ever since middle school, Nishimura Riki has been an absolute pain. Now at your senior year of high school, things get complicated when confused feelings start to rise.
lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊I am here to represent the playful over nonchalant riki agenda 🤓☝️I wanted this to give shitty 2000's romance movie did I succeed? (this is so ass but I haven't posted a pic in a while so muah, creative fics coming soon trust)
If there was one universal truth in your life, it was this: you hated Nishimura Riki.
Childhood best friends? The kind you see in movies, laughing over dumb jokes, sharing secrets under a blanket fort, or being there for each other no matter what? Yeah, that wasn’t you and Riki. Not even close.
Your history with him began the summer before middle school, a day you remembered all too clearly.
“Who’s moving in, Mom?” you asked, watching the moving truck parked outside the empty house next door.
She glanced over as she set down a stack of plates. “A family with a boy about your age,” she replied, patting your head. “Maybe you’ll make a new friend! Why don’t you go say hi?”
You wrinkled your nose, stepping back from the window. “I wish it was a girl.”
Mom sighed and gave you that knowing look as she moved around the kitchen. “You never know. Your dad and I were childhood friends once.”
“Gross,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “That’s so weird.”
And just like that, you moved on with your life, assuming the new boy next door was unimportant. After all, families came and went in your neighborhood. You didn’t expect him to stick around—or to matter.
Oh, how wrong you were.
The first day of middle school was supposed to be a fresh start. You had plans. Big plans. Make friends, fit in, and survive until High School. And for a moment, it seemed like everything would go smoothly. Until him.
Lunch was going fine. You grabbed your tray, scanning the cafeteria for a place to sit when you collided with someone. Hard.
Your lunch went flying, splattering all over you, and in your panic, you looked up, ready to apologize. But then you noticed he was perfectly fine—completely untouched—like the universe had gone out of its way to humiliate only you.
You glanced at his name tag. Nishimura Riki.
He crouched to help, concern etched across his face. “Are you okay—”
Before he could finish, a blinding camera flash went off, followed by whispers and giggles erupting all around you. Mortified, you bolted to the nearest bathroom.
You thought that would be the end of it, but Riki wasn’t done ruining your life. Far from it.
In gym class? He always aimed for you during dodgeball. At lunch? He somehow snagged the last banana milk every time. Clubs? Teachers practically begged him to join while you couldn’t even get a recommendation. Worst of all, everyone adored him. Everyone but you.
By the end of your first year, Nishimura Riki was your sworn enemy.
And then things got… complicated.
It happened one evening while you were studying in your room. A soft knock at the door interrupted your focus.
“Come in,” you called, expecting your mom.
She stepped inside with two glasses of water. “Remember the tutoring favor I mentioned? My friend’s son is here in need of help, Be nice, okay?”
“Sure,” you replied, not thinking much of it.
But when the door creaked open again, you froze.
“Not who you were expecting?” Riki grinned, leaning casually against the doorframe.
You crossed your arms. “What are you doing here Riki?”
Riki winced. “Tutoring obviously, and could you please just call me ni-ki like everyone else?”
“You’re not coming in,” you snapped, blocking the doorway.
He sighed dramatically. “And what would I tell your mom?” He bent slightly to meet your glare, his grin widening when you finally moved aside.
“Fine. Sit down,” you muttered, plopping back at your desk.
For the next hour, you worked in tense silence. Or tried to, anyway. Riki kept fidgeting, pulling out a folded piece of paper halfway through.
“What’s that?” you asked, snatching it before he could stop you.
“Hey!” he yelped, scrambling to grab it back.
It didn’t take long to figure out what it was: another love letter. You rolled your eyes and tossed it back at him. “Veryyyy humble.”
“Not my fault I’m handsome, but it really is annoying though, I'm constantly surrounded… sometimes I feel like I'm drowning” he muttered, leaning back on his hands.
You were thrown off by his sincerity but you ignored him until he suddenly perked up as if struck by divine inspiration.
“Wait,” he said, sitting up straighter. “I have an idea.”
You raised an eyebrow. “That’s never good.”
“Let’s be friends, like attached to the hip friends.”
You blinked. “What?”
He grinned. “Think about it. You don’t have anyone covering your back at school, and I need someone to scare off all the girls who keep following me around. It’s perfect.”
You rolled your eyes. “Hard pass.”
“Come on, at least think about it!” he whined.
Unfortunately, he didn’t leave you much of a choice. Day by day, Riki wormed his way into your life, showing up at your house, sticking by you at school, and, somehow, turning everyone’s attention to you.
It was annoying. It was infuriating. But, worst of all? It worked.
Fast forward to your senior year of high school, and here you were—still stuck with Nishimura Riki. And somehow, despite your ups and downs, things weren’t going to be quite so simple anymore.
You were buried in your assignments, your usual library spot surrounded by a fortress of papers, highlighters, and books. It was your sanctuary, a place where Riki always knew he could find you.
He wasn’t alone when he spotted you this time. A couple of his friends hung around, laughing about something entirely unimportant in his mind the second his eyes landed on you. His grin stretched wide, and with an exaggerated sigh, he excused himself. The girls groaned, rolling their eyes at his now-predictable antics. “You’re obsessed, ni-ki,” one of them muttered, but he didn’t care.
Jogging up to your table, he glanced at your mess of notes and books. You didn’t even look up. Of course.
“What is it, Riki?” you murmured, still scribbling, your tone bored, uninterested—classic.
“Would it kill you to talk to me lovingly every once in a while, Y/N?” he mocked, flopping into the chair across from you. His eyes darted to the pile of folded papers shoved to the side, and his eyebrows shot up. “Oh? What’s this? Love letters? These for me again?”
You finally glanced up, leveling him with that deadpan expression he swore you saved just for him. “They’re definitely not mine,” you replied flatly.
He gasped, hand over his chest like you’d shot him. “Poor baby. Jealous much?” he teased, leaning forward on his elbows.
“Of you? Hardly.”
Riki narrowed his eyes at you, suddenly curious. Now that he thought about it, he’d never actually seen you with anyone—no rumors, no dates, no shy confessions. And while you always rolled your eyes whenever he brought up girls in front of you, you never chimed in about any guy in your life. Suspicious.
“Y/N,” he started, his tone a little too casual as he began doodling nonsense shapes on the table. “When was the last time you had a boyfriend?”
You blinked, caught off guard. “Well, you remember Choi—”
“Choi Soobin? That lasted, what, a week?” he scoffed, leaning back in his chair with a smirk.
“And why do you think that is, genius?” you shot back, pointing your pencil at him accusingly.
Riki faltered for a split second before looking away. “Well… I think you can do so much better than him,” he muttered, scratching the back of his neck.
Your brow shot up, amused. “Oh? Alright then, Mr. Matchmaker. Who’s my ‘better match,’ huh?”
His mouth opened, then shut. For once, he didn’t have a quick answer. He gulped, scrambling to save face. “How about I… set you up?”
You laughed, leaning back in your chair. “With one of your fuckboy friends? No thanks.”
“Hey! Not them!” he laughed, hands up in defense. “I meant someone like… Sunghoon.”
That made you pause. “Sunghoon? Like tall, calm, cool, and basically perfect Sunghoon? Yeah, right. He wouldn’t go on a date with me in a million years.”
“What? Says who?” Riki shot back, standing up like he’d just been challenged to a duel. “I’ll talk to him. Watch and learn, Y/N. Watch and learn.”
“Riki—”
“Later! Don’t miss me too much” He winked and walked off, leaving you to roll your eyes at his retreating figure, wondering if he’d actually follow through or if this was just another one of his ridiculous schemes.
“Y/N? I thought you guys were dating,” Sunghoon said, his brow furrowing in confusion as he leaned back against the locker.
Riki nearly choked on his water, his eyes going wide as he turned to face him. “What? No, Y/N is just a friend.” He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into a half-smile. “Oh. Huh. Well, I think I’m gonna pass anyway. She’s kind of… boring?”
The words hit Riki like a slap. His head snapped toward Sunghoon so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. “Boring?” he echoed, his voice sharp. “Says who?”
Sunghoon shrugged nonchalantly. “Everyone. I mean, I haven’t seen her at a single party or game, not even during lunch. What would we even talk about?”
Riki scoffed, crossing his arms as he glared at him. “Y/N is plenty of fun, asshole. What do you even know?” His voice was defensive, almost protective, and it surprised even himself.
Sunghoon tilted his head, studying Riki’s reaction. “I mean, she seems… quiet,” he admitted. “But now that I think about it, if you’re the one setting me up with her, she’s probably pretty great. You don’t exactly play matchmaker for just anyone.”
Riki blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift. “Uh… well, yeah, she is great,” he muttered, not meeting Sunghoon’s eyes.
Sunghoon grinned. “You know what? Why not? She’s cute.”
Riki froze. His grip tightened on the strap of his backpack, and for a split second, he wasn’t sure why his stomach twisted at Sunghoon’s words. Calling you cute? Of course, you were cute. He’d always known that. So why did it sound weird coming from someone else?
He quickly shook off the strange feeling, chalking it up to his usual overprotectiveness. “Alright,” he said, his voice coming out more clipped than he intended. “But don’t do anything weird. Seriously.”
Sunghoon laughed, pushing off the locker. “Weird? Relax, I’ll be a gentleman. So, you gonna tell her, or should I?”
Riki sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll tell her. Just… don’t mess this up, alright?”
Sunghoon smirked as he walked away. “I won’t. But, man, you’re acting real possessive for ‘just a friend,’ don’t you think?”
Riki didn’t respond, watching as Sunghoon disappeared down the hall. The words hung heavy in the air, and for the first time, he wondered if maybe—just maybe—he was more than just “overprotective” when it came to you.
Today, you felt a kind of giddiness you hadn’t experienced in a while. After weeks of drowning in study sessions, late-night cramming for club responsibilities, and endless schoolwork, you were finally doing something for yourself. And to top it all off, you weren’t just going out—you were going out with a boy.
It had been forever since you’d made this much effort. You dolled yourself up, not too over the top, but more than your usual routine. Casual but undeniably cute. You felt like a new version of yourself, and it was exciting.
Standing in front of your mirror, you hummed along to the music playing softly in the background, carefully adjusting your hair. You tilted your head, giving yourself one last once-over with a satisfied grin when there was a knock on your door.
“Y/N, I’m coming in,” came the familiar voice.
Before you could even respond, the door creaked open, and Riki stepped inside. His usual easy-going demeanor faltered the second he saw you. The air felt heavy, and his eyes widened as if he’d been caught off guard.
For a moment, he just stared, the words dying in his throat. Why were you so dressed up? He’d seen you a thousand times, but never like this. Something about the way your hair framed your face, the slight gloss on your lips, and the way your outfit hugged your figure—it was like he was seeing you for the first time.
Were you always this pretty?
“Is he on his way? What kind of car does he drive?” you asked, practically buzzing with excitement.
Your voice snapped him out of whatever trance he was in, and he blinked, his expression hardening as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Uh… yeah, he’s almost here,” he muttered, his tone uncharacteristically stiff.
The doorbell rang, and your face lit up instantly. Clapping your hands together, you grabbed your bag and checked your outfit one last time. You turned to him, your eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Not too bad, right? Think he’ll like it?”
Riki froze again. The words caught in his throat, and for a second, he thought about telling you the truth. That you looked beautiful. That the thought of you being this excited about someone else was bothering him more than it should.
But instead, his pride got the better of him. “I—well—you look stupid,” he blurted out, his words harsher than he intended.
You rolled your eyes, clearly unimpressed. “Say whatever you want, Riki. Your opinion doesn’t matter tonight. I’ll text you the details tomorrow!”
And just like that, you were gone, your scent lingering in the room as you hurried past him and out the door.
Riki stood there, staring at the space you’d just left. His chest felt tight, an unfamiliar weight settling there as he replayed the moment in his head. What was this feeling? Why was his stomach twisting uncomfortably at the thought of you with someone else?
He swallowed hard, running a hand through his hair as he sat on your bed, shoulders slumping. Something was changing—something he wasn’t sure he was ready to admit yet. But as he sat there, his chest aching and his mind racing, one thing was becoming painfully clear.
He didn’t want to be the one you texted tomorrow to tell all the details about tonight. He wanted to be the one sitting across from you, the one you were so excited to see. And that realization scared him more than anything.
The next week was nothing short of torture for Riki. As if fate was playing a cruel joke, you and Sunghoon seemed to hit it off. You weren’t officially dating, but the two of you were in the so-called “talking stage.” It didn’t matter what stage it was—every second of it felt wrong to Riki.
Your usual library spot? You weren’t alone anymore. Sunghoon was always there, sitting across from you, leaning in too close, making you laugh in ways that Riki used to. Your desk? It was now stocked with your favorite snacks every morning—snacks that weren’t from Riki. And the final blow? You called Sunghoon by his nickname. His nickname. Riki clenched his fists every time he overheard it because not once in all the years he’d known you had you ever called him by a nickname.
What did Sunghoon have that Riki didn’t? He left snacks, visited you in the library, and called you nicknames. Riki did all of that first. So why wasn’t it enough?
For the first time, Riki felt you slipping away. And for the first time, he realized just how much you meant to him. But instead of confronting those feelings, he did what he always did best—he buried them.
The dismissal bell rang, and the school flooded with students rushing to leave. You were taking your time, slowly packing up while your music played softly in your headphones. A tap on your shoulder startled you, making you jump.
“Hey, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” Sunghoon said with an easy laugh.
You laughed back, pushing him playfully. “It’s fine. Yeah, I’m ready to go, but we should wait for Riki. He might need a ride home.”
Sunghoon’s brow furrowed, confused. “ni-ki? I thought he went on that date.”
Your hands paused mid-motion. “What?”
“Yeah, didn’t he tell you? He’s been talking about it all day.” Sunghoon said it so casually, but his words felt like a punch to your chest.
No. Riki hadn’t told you anything. And now that you thought about it, he’d been distant recently, skipping out on plans and barely texting back. But to go on a date and not even mention it? That wasn’t like him at all. A strange feeling bubbled in your chest—was it anxiety or something else entirely?
“Oh. I guess we should just go then,” you murmured, brushing past Sunghoon, who quickly followed after you.
It stayed like that for weeks. Riki kept avoiding you, making himself scarce. He didn’t leave snacks on your desk anymore, didn’t visit you in the library, and the only time you caught glimpses of him was when he was with her. That girl in his friend group—except now, his arm was around her shoulder.
Something about seeing them together twisted your stomach into knots. You couldn’t figure out what was going on. The absence of Nishimura Riki was a void you weren’t coping with well. You missed his annoying presence, his whining, his endless teasing. When had he become so important to you? And more importantly, why did it hurt so much to see him with someone else?
Days passed, your short fling with Sunghoon had come to an end. You and Sunghoon realized you weren’t a good match. It wasn’t dramatic; the spark just wasn’t there. You were relieved to have gained a friend, but even that small resolution didn’t fill the aching gap that Riki had left behind.
One day, as you trudged toward class, your thoughts heavy, you spotted him. For a moment, everything else faded. His uniform was crisp for once, his hair falling perfectly across his forehead, and his headphones hung loosely around his neck. You felt your heart skip, a familiar warmth creeping in. But then you saw her—the girl. She was right next to him, laughing as she leaned closer.
Riki caught your eyes, and for a moment, you swore you saw something flicker in his expression. But then he looked away, a fake smile plastered back on his face, and it felt like someone had ripped the air out of your lungs.
You couldn’t take it anymore. The sudden, painful realization hit you like a truck—you had fallen for Nishimura Riki. The cocky, annoying, rude, childish Riki. And you had realized it far too late.
Fueled by a sense of urgency, you stormed over to him. The closer you got, the more his eyes widened. His body tensed, his jaw clenching as if he knew what was coming.
“Riki, I need to talk to you,” you said, your voice trembling slightly.
He scoffed, avoiding your gaze as he shifted awkwardly. “What could we possibly need to talk about?”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Oh, I don’t know. How about the fact that you’ve been ignoring me for weeks? How about the fact that you’ve completely shut me out?”
He let out a bitter laugh, his eyes now locking with yours. “Me? Ignoring you? Don’t make me laugh. Weren’t you the one who ditched me first? The second Sunghoon gave you a little attention, you were all over him like he was your whole world.”
You flinched at the venom in his words. “What are you even talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb!” he snapped, his voice rising. “You’ve been desperate for attention since day one. The moment someone else gave it to you, you didn’t even think twice about ditching me.”
The words stung more than you thought possible, and tears welled in your eyes. “Is that how you really see me? Someone who just begs for love and clings to anyone willing to give it? Or is that what you wanted me to be? Someone who would never leave you, so you could string me along whenever you wanted? Like you always have?”
His eyes softened, regret flickering through them, but before he could respond, the girl at his side stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm.
“Alright ni-ki.. I get it now.” You took that as your cue. Turning on your heel, you walked away without looking back, tears blurring your vision.
He gulped as he watched you walk away, Itching to chase after you. He never thought the loss of his first name coming from your lips would hurt this much. But it did.
For the nights after that, sleep was impossible. You lay there staring at the ceiling, replaying the confrontation with Riki over and over in your head. His words, his tone, the hurt that lingered in his eyes despite the venom in his voice—it was all too much. The raw pain left a lump in your throat, and the longer you thought about it, the more your chest ached.
You didn’t know how to move past it. Slowly, you started closing yourself off. The window you always left unlocked for Riki to climb through at night? It was shut now, the latch sealed as if closing it would somehow lock away the memories too.
Everything was weighing on you, dragging you deeper into a pit of emotions you couldn’t escape from. You needed something—anything to distract yourself. That’s when you remembered Sunghoon’s message from earlier.
Sunghoon:
Hey I know parties aren’t really your thing, but you can always come and stick with me tonight if you want? LMK.
You sighed, staring at the screen for what felt like forever before finally making a decision. Maybe this was what you needed, a change of scenery, a chance to forget for just one night. Without overthinking, you hit the call button.
He answered almost immediately, his voice casual but with a hint of surprise. “Hey, Y/N, what’s up?”
“Hey, Hoon,” you said, your voice soft but steady. “I’ll be on my way soon.”
When you arrived at the party, the air was buzzing with energy. Music thumped loudly in the background, lights flickered through the windows, and the yard was packed with groups of people chatting and laughing. You felt a pang of anxiety as you stepped inside, but it was quickly drowned out when Sunghoon spotted you from across the room.
“Y/N!” he called, weaving through the crowd with a grin. “You made it.”
You nodded, offering him a small smile. “Yeah, I thought I’d give it a shot.”
“I’m glad you came,” he said, resting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to some people, and we can hang out.”
He led you through the party, his presence grounding you as you met new faces and settled into the environment. For the first time in what felt like weeks, you felt yourself relaxing. Laughing. Forgetting.
But that peace was short-lived.
Halfway through the night, as you stood by the kitchen with Sunghoon, sipping on a red solo cup which he’d handed you, your eyes landed on someone you weren’t prepared to see. Riki.
He was standing on the far side of the room, a red Solo cup in hand, his face half-hidden by the shadowy lighting. But it was unmistakably him. His posture was relaxed, but he wasn’t speaking as his group of friends talked. You looked around for the girl he grasped onto recently but she was nowhere in sight.
Your chest tightened, and it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. For a moment, all the progress you’d made to distract yourself unraveled. You tried to look away, but it was like your eyes were glued to him.
Sunghoon noticed immediately. “Hey,” he said gently, stepping in front of you to block your view. “You okay?”
You blinked, forcing yourself to focus on him. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
But you weren’t fine. Not at all.
Riki hadn’t noticed you at first, too caught up in the chaos of the party. But when he finally glanced toward the kitchen, his heart stopped. There you were, standing next to Sunghoon, looking beautiful in a way that made his chest ache.
His grip on his cup tightened as he watched Sunghoon lean closer, whispering something that made you laugh softly. That laugh. The one he hadn’t heard in weeks. It was his laugh, the one you used to share with him.
“ni-ki,” a girl next to him said, tugging on his sleeve to grab his attention. But he barely heard her, his focus still glued to you.
“Excuse me for a second,” he mumbled, setting his cup down and stepping away from his group. He didn’t even know what he was doing. His feet carried him across the room before his brain had the chance to catch up.
You saw him coming before he even reached you. The sight of him walking toward you, his expression unreadable, made your stomach twist. Sunghoon glanced over his shoulder and immediately stiffened.
“Y/N,” Riki said, his voice low but firm as he stopped in front of you. His gaze flickered to Sunghoon briefly before settling back on you. “Can we talk?”
You hesitated, your walls immediately going up. “What is there to talk about, ni-ki?”
“Please,” he said, his tone softer now, almost desperate wincing at the way you spit his nickname.
Sunghoon stepped closer, his presence protective. “Maybe now isn’t the time, Riki.”
Riki’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t back down. “I wasn’t asking you, Sunghoon.”
Your heart was racing, caught between the two of them. The tension in the air was suffocating, and you didn’t know what to do.
“I’ll give you guys a minute,” Sunghoon finally said, his voice steady but his eyes lingering on you for reassurance before he walked off.
Riki took a step closer, his hands buried in his pockets as he looked at you with an intensity that made your breath hitch. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “For everything.”
You swallowed hard, your emotions a whirlwind. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”
“Then don’t say anything,” he said quickly. “Just… listen. Please.”
And so, for the first time in weeks, you let him talk.
He led you up the stairs, weaving through the chaos of the party. The bass of the music faded the further you went, replaced by the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. He stopped in front of an empty room, pushing the door open and letting you step inside first. The room was dim, lit only by the moonlight streaming through the window. When he followed, the soft click of the door shutting behind him felt heavier than it should have.
You turned to face him, crossing your arms defensively. Your guard was up, and he could see it all over your face—your hurt, your anger, your confusion. He hated that he was the one who put that look in your eyes. How had things gotten so messed up? It reminded him of when you were younger, back in middle school, when he could never find the right words to say to you. But this time, it felt like so much more was at stake.
“Y/N…” His voice was quiet, laced with hesitation, his dark eyes glowing softly under the light. “I haven’t been real with you lately.”
You didn’t say anything, your glare sharp enough to cut through him.
“To be honest…” He froze, the words catching in his throat as his face heated up. He looked down, running a hand through his hair as if it would steady him. “Well, I’ve realized that you mean… a lot more to me than I thought.”
You blinked, your heart skipping a beat, but your defenses didn’t falter. “What are you trying to say?”
He sighed, taking a tentative step closer. “I’m saying I screwed up, okay? I’ve been jealous, selfish, and downright stupid. Seeing you with Sunghoon, thinking I might lose you… it made me realize something.”
You raised an eyebrow, waiting, your breath catching as he took another step closer.
“I like you, Y/N,” he admitted, his voice cracking slightly under the weight of his confession. “No, scratch that—I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now, but I was too dumb to figure it out until I almost lost you.”
Your heart was pounding, the walls you’d built around yourself threatening to crumble. His words felt like a punch to the gut, but in the best way possible.
“Why now?” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Why did it take all of this for you to say something?”
“I was scared,” he admitted, his tone filled with regret. “Scared of ruining what we already had. But when I saw you with him, I realized I couldn’t just stand by and lose you. I’m sorry, Y/N. For everything. I just… I need you to know how I feel.”
You stared at him, your emotions a whirlwind. Part of you wanted to stay mad, to keep your guard up and protect yourself. But the other part—the part that had always been soft for him—wanted to believe every word he was saying.
“Riki,” you started, your voice trembling. “You really hurt me, you know that, right?”
He nodded, guilt washing over his face. “I know, and I’ll spend however long it takes making it up to you pretty. I swear.”
There was a long silence as you studied him, searching his face for any sign that he wasn’t being genuine. But all you saw was raw vulnerability.
Finally, you sighed, stepping closer to him. “You’re such an idiot,” you muttered, but there was no malice in your voice.
He smiled softly, a flicker of hope lighting up his eyes. “I’ve been told.”
Before you could second-guess yourself, you reached up, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him closer. His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t hesitate. His hands found your waist as you stood on your toes, and then, without another word, you kissed him.
It was soft at first, tentative, like the two of you were still testing the waters. But as the moment deepened, all the tension, all the weeks of hurt and miscommunication melted away. His hands tightened around your waist, pulling you closer, and you let yourself fall into him completely.
When you finally pulled away, your foreheads rested against each other, both of you breathless. He smiled at you, his usual cocky grin softened by the tenderness in his eyes.
“Does this mean you forgive me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips. “Don’t push your luck.”
He laughed, the sound light and carefree, and for the first time in weeks, you felt like everything was going to be okay.
BONUS 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Riki had known you since middle school. Back then, you were the girl who sat by the window during lunch, scribbling in your notebook or reading while everyone else was too busy trying to be cool. You were quiet but quick-witted, and for some reason, that always fascinated him.
He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he started noticing you more. Maybe it was the time you helped him with a history project because he procrastinated and would’ve failed without you, Maybe… It was the day you both ran into each other. Literally.
He hated admitting it, but he always found himself drawn to you. You weren’t flashy or loud like the other people in his life. You were just you—calm, focused, and, most of all, real.
But middle school Riki wasn’t great at handling feelings. Instead of being sweet to you, he’d tease you mercilessly, always looking for a reaction. He loved how your face would scrunch up when you were annoyed or how you’d mutter sarcastic comebacks under your breath, pretending you weren’t affected.
Even then, he knew you were different. Special. But he never let himself think too much about it.
As the years passed, his feelings only grew, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. By the time high school rolled around, you were still his constant. The one person he could always count on, the one who somehow understood him without needing a million words.
But somewhere along the way, he’d started feeling something heavier whenever he saw you. When you smiled at him, it felt like a spark ignited in his chest. When you scolded him for slacking off, he’d secretly enjoy the attention. And when you laughed—God, when you laughed—he swore it was his favorite sound in the world.
Still, he buried those feelings deep. He figured it was better to keep things the way they were. If he said something and you didn’t feel the same, he could lose you entirely, and the thought of that terrified him.
Then Sunghoon came into the picture. And for the first time, he realized he wasn’t the only one who could see how amazing you were. Watching you smile at someone else, laugh at someone else’s jokes, give someone else the attention that used to be his—it tore him apart. He felt like he was suffocating, and he didn’t know how to stop it.
Even now, standing in that room with you after finally confessing everything, he couldn’t help but think back to all those moments from middle school. How blind had he been? How stupid to waste so much time pretending he didn’t care?
Looking at you now, your cheeks flushed, your eyes searching his face like you were trying to figure him out, he realized he didn’t want to hold back anymore.
He smiled, soft and genuine, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
“You know,” he said, his voice low, “I think I’ve been falling for you since middle school. I just didn’t know how to say it back then. Guess I’m still figuring it out now.”
You blinked at him, stunned for a moment, before a small laugh escaped your lips. “You’ve been a mess since middle school, Riki.”
“Yeah,” he said, his grin growing wider. “But I’m your mess now.”
And with that, he kissed you again, pouring years of unspoken feelings into the moment, knowing he’d finally found where he belonged—right there, with you.
#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#fanfic#fluff fic#enhypen angst#enhypen niki#ni ki enhypen#ni ki x reader#ni ki fluff#nishimura riki#niki x reader#ni ki
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Why is your name that?
Mine is this because when I first started tumblr I was hyperfixating on an OC called Oscar who got kidnapped by an evil doctor/ringmaster. (He was called Valentine which was ironic because Saint Valentine was a doctor who was a beloved figure and all of the people Dr. Valentine kidnapped to be in his show hated him. But also because he’s aroace and loves all his victims like pets but he’s namesakes with a holiday about non platonic love.) Valentine would do a thing where- You know how some taxidermists will make mythical creatures out of several different animal species’ parts? He would do that with living things. He would use surgeries and chemicals to combine living creatures together to make monsters for his show. There was also a carnival that he also owned that traveled with the circus/was part of it. And in that carnival was a “zoo” thing for artificial monsters who refused to perform. Like Oscar. So Valentine turned Oscar into a have snake. (Like the shape a mermaid is, but with a snake instead of a fish.) Valentine has chemicals that can make things grow more than they should to fit whatever creatures they’re supposed to be attached to. So he did that with the snake and mixed up it’s organs so that it’s brain could go in in its back somewhere and be connected up to Oscar’s brain so that they could communicate mentally. Now Valentine put the snake’s fangs, tongue, and vocal cords into Oscar’s mouth and throat (so now he can’t talk and he’s venomous.) But you understand. It’s still the snake’s brain controlling all the snake parts. And the snake would have conflict with Oscar at first. But then they would slowly meld into one consciousness because they can both feel each other’s physical sensations and emotions and they’re aware of all of each other’s thoughts, so like. Intuitively, I felt like they would stop being able to tell the difference eventually and just become different facets of the same person.
Anyway, Oscar really, really likes plants. He’s a gardener professionally and on his own because he grows a lot of his own food. (Made his own rain catching irrigation system.) So Valentine offered him a bunch of options for a new name. “Oscar” simply isn’t exotic or snakelike enough. And while Oscar wasn’t going to respond to anything other than his real name, Valentine was going to name tag him with whatever he chose, so it did actually matter. There was one single option for a new name that was anything related to a plant. He decided he would choose that one out of. I guess it was some sort of tie to what he used to do? The name was Basil. Oscar thinks of it as the snake’s name.
So Basil the snaking thing. Now I think I would rename myself “Parsley the Crow” since that’s more accurate to me, but everyone knows me as this and I have friends and branding to keep up with.
(Oscar eventually managed to grow a bunch of plants in his cage as an act of rebellion. Mostly ferns.)
okay, first of all, that lore is FIRE. second, branding is very important so good on you for maintaining your brand.
now, regarding myself, I am, as has been proven, a nerd. I am such a nerd, in fact, that my favourite band of all time is 2CELLOS, a cello duo comprised of Luka Šulić and Stjepan Hauser that has since broken up. I grew up OBSESSED with their music (I used to beg my mother to watch their music videos every day). they basically designed my pop culture taste. I got into AC/DC because 2CELLOS covered Thunderstruck. they covered the Pirates of the Caribbean theme, so I watched the films. I became interested in time travel (now a dear obsession) because one of their music videos involved them doing rocking cello solos in the Georgian era, and I began hc-ing that they travelled back in time to do it (this was when I was maybe nine). I loved them SO MUCH (still do, but now I also have other interests music-wise and pop culture-wise).
when I was around twelve or thirteen years old, I finally got the chance to go to one of their concerts; my grandparents were in town for my birthday, and as a gift, they bought me tickets to the 2CELLOS tour. at that point, I had just gotten into the internet and didn’t really have a brand or a consistent url, and I didn’t know what I wanted it to be. and then, at the concert (which was AMAZING), Luka played the cello so hard his bow broke. the coolest thing my tiny child self had ever seen.
that was the moment I forever became Luka’s Broken Bow.
funnily enough, for my birthday this year, I got tickets to go see Luka solo in concert in April. who knows, maybe he’ll break his bow again.
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Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Twenty Three
-gif not mine. credit to owner-
Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.
Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?
Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!
Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066 @nameless-ken @minami97
I let out a deep breath while pulling my jacket closer to my chest as I continued the walk down the busy streets of New York City. It was after six in the evening and everyone was rushing to get home to enjoy the rest of their evening while I was trying to make it to the office in time, before he left.
This wasn’t an easy decision I made, knowing the consequences that could follow. But I didn’t have any other choice. He was the only one that could help me with this.
The thought of if he would even want to help me did cross my mind a few times, especially with how things ended, but there was a small part of me that hoped his feelings for me were still strong. Strictly to help me with my problem, nothing else.
I hadn't talked to any of the three men I used to work with, deciding to stay off of social media because I couldn’t bother to see what happened with Bucky and Natasha. By now, he had to have realized that I was right; Natasha was faking the entire pregnancy.
Yet, I hadn’t heard from him so maybe he still decided to stay with her.
You told him to stay away. Eight months ago.
Shaking away the thought, I turned the corner and the all too familiar building came into view as with one last deep breath, I pushed through the door and my eyes landed on the person sitting at what used to be my desk. My heart hammered in my chest as his scent filled my senses.
“Well, it seems like the job isn’t available anymore, huh?”
He turned around in a haste in the chair, eyes grazing over every inch of me to make sure I had been standing in front of him.
The last time we talked was a few months ago and we actually hadn’t seen each other since before I quit. He looked the same, hair and beard a bit longer.
“Hi Steve,” I smiled.
“Y/N?”
Steve was quick on his feet to wrap his arms around me and lifted my body off of the ground a few inches. I closed my eyes at the warmth, silently missing him just as much.
“How have you been?” Steve asked while setting me back onto solid ground.
I nodded. “Good, I guess. How have things been here?”
Steve hesitated, his shoulders going stiff. “Have you talked to him at all?”
This time I shook my head so Steve gently led me to the couch in the main area of the office and we sat next to each other. He scratched at his beard, trying to find the right way to say this.
“He’s gone rogue the last couple of months. He doesn't need mine or Sam’s help for anything, he takes care of the problems himself.”
I pointed towards his office. “Is he here?”
Steve shook his head. “I haven't seen him all day. He called me earlier to say he’s got something to take care of so he’s going to be at Power Brokers tonight.”
My eyes narrowed. “He hates that club. Why would he go there?”
“I don’t know,” Steve sighed. “He doesn’t tell Sam or I anything anymore. We only show up here now in case he needs us.”
“Are he and Nat-?”
He placed a hand on my knee, stopping the words. “That’s something Bucky has to talk to you about.”
With a slow nod, I contemplated my next move because I knew that if I went to Power Broker tonight, it would be a disaster from the start. That club was highly known as a black market, people trying to sell you things that you couldn’t buy anywhere else. But if you didn’t agree to it it would be highly unlikely that you would make it back out alive.
“Are you going to tell me why you showed up tonight?”
I gave Steve my attention now and shrugged. “Trust me, I would rather go to anyone else with this but Bucky is the only one that can help me.”
He cupped my cheek. “Please be careful.”
“Always,” I covered his hand with my own.
The music of the club vibrated against my bones as I maneuvered my way through the seas of people, who did their best to either dance with me or sell me on their latest project they had hiding in their pocket. I ignored all of them, keeping my focus on finding the one person that I needed.
When I asked the bouncers outside if they had seen Bucky, they were quick to give him up.
“He’s been causing problems here all night but refuses to leave. The men we have here isn’t nearly as strong as he is to kick him out.”
I was on high alert, skin tingling with my senses, as I observed the giant open dance floor of the club until some commotion at the bar piqued my interest. I watched as a guy was thrown onto the glass bar top, black and gold fingers wrapped around his throat.
“Where is she?!”
The voice was deep, angry, and wanted to know the answers.
My heart beat intensified as I marveled at how different he looked yet looking exactly the same. The brown leather vest that covered his broad chest was missing a sleeve, his entire vibranium arm on full display. He didn’t look like a mob boss any longer but more so a soldier.
The heat pooled between my legs but I squeezed them shut, knowing that now wasn't the time to think about that.
“I swear, I don’t know where she is! Last I heard, they were in Budapest!” The man struggled for his life under the tight grip around his throat.
“They were together?”
The man on the bar nodded, as best he could. “That’s what my guys tell me.”
As I saw a glimmer of sharp metal emerge from the pocket of the other man's vest, I finally decided to speak up.
“Bucky.”
My voice might have been hushed with the background noise of the club but I knew he heard because Bucky looked away from the man he had pinned, his once blue iris now dark stared back at me. The firmness in his body faded with his face softing, as he dropped the man to the floor below.
“Doll?”
I swallowed thickly at the old pet name because I couldn't get distracted, I needed to finish what I came for.
“I need your help,” I admitted with a sigh.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#mob!bucky barnes#mob!bucky barnes x reader#mob!bucky barnes and reader#sebastian stan#bucky barnes and reader#mob!bucky barnes x yn#mob!bucky barnes reader insert#mob!bucky barnes and yn#moment of weakness bucky barnes
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I'm new here, what constitutes as "bad tags"? I don't usually leave tags anyway but I'd like to know just in case
Good question, to be specific let's define what good tags are first. Good tags are those that help categorize works and relate it to randoms or styles for ease of sorting.
That's it, i know people have been using tags for other things here, and I'm not going to come in telling everyone else how to live their life. Do whatever, HOWEVER. There are a whole 2 types of tag usage that drive me, quite literally, mad, and i will go to extreme measures to never see them under my work. 1.Redundant tags-i loathe when people state the obvious.I believe everyone here has enough perception to not need tags like #not-my-art or #[artists name] UNDER THE ARTISTS OWN GOD-DAMN POST. It's legitimately upsetting, and i know it's stupid, and it makes me angrier. That's not how you categorize shit, that's how you bloat your tag pool with useless bullshit.
2.Tags that should have been comments. That one is self explanatory, if you wanna say "wow so cool" or "i like this" or something to that effect-just or engage in conversation- say it to my face, via a comment. Call me a boomer for this if you have to but i am not budging on the matter, i am not engaging in parasocial reblogging and i will yell at clouds about it, because it makes me angry for how stupid it is as a practice. Example:
as you could have guessed- some of you lot fucked it up again. Terrible tag usage. But... I'll tolerate it, because it's my fault for not explaining what i hate in the first place.
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#NewBeginnings
Warning: cussing.
Tags: @grosspube, @vienwood, @valalice. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next part (or if you don’t wanna be tagged). Series Masterlist
Caitlyn and Vi, the two most powerful couple at Pitover Academy, everyone knows about them, everyone hates them, or wants to be with one of them, Caitlyn being the wealthy smart girl who just so happens to know the dean of the school was called the Queen of Pitover.
She exposed and got anybody expelled. She's a 6”1 mean girl and Vi she was just hot headed and would beat up anybody she felt needed a good pounding. Everyone wondered how Vi never got expelled for her actions but it was probably because of Caitlyn’s relationship with the Dean.
You knew of them but didn't care to much only focused on your studies and graduating, they left you alone and you avoided them at all cost which was easy cause you don't share any classes with them and your locker was on the other side of the school so as far as you know they don't know you exist.
Bobbing your head to the music playing on your phone you don't notice your friend calling out to you ugh you hate stalling in the hallway just wanting to get to your locker, collect the things you need and get to your next class before the bell rings and everyone in your friend group knows that but they choose to bother you anyways.
“You got the answers for the math assignment?” Julie asks, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and removing your headphones and placing it on her head to listen to the music you're listening too.
You sigh, reaching out to grab at the headphones but the girl moves away “I’ll give them back when you answer my question.” rolling your eyes you hand her a paper you have in a stack placed under your arm, “can I get my headphones back now?” you question holding your hand out the girl places her finger on her chin before looking up in a thinking motion before humming out.
“Julie, I don't have the time for this. I gotta get to my next class” you groan out placing your free hand on your hip.
“Ugh fine here are your stupid headphones”
The girl hands it back to you thanking her, placing the headphones around your neck “what are you doing after school?” she asked, walking with you to your locker.
Homework it's the same thing you do every single day after school wanting to finish all your assignments so you can at least be in bed before nine o'clock and have a weekend where you're not stressing out about an assignment being due that week. Julie hates your answer banging her head softly on the locker besides yours.
Putting in your combination and opening your locker is when Julie decides to speak “you're always cramped up in your room doing some dumb ass assignment” you snicker at what the green haired girl said. “Well at least I care about my grades” you bite back as the girl scoffs at your response.
“I care about my grades!” Julie yells out in offense and you nod your head.
“Then why did you need the answers to the math assignment?” You question as the green haired girl blushes and looks down at her feet probably to think of what to say “b-because trigonometry is h-hard” she states a stuttering mess you laugh before placing the stuff you need for your next class into your backpack.
“Maybe if you paid attention in class and not on what’s on your phone it wouldn’t be so hard” Julie rolled her eyes before slamming your locker shut. “Your so mean Y/N” you nod your head, use to her calling you that anytime you say something as remotely as truthful.
“You say this all the time” you say, interlocking your hands with Julie and skipping down the hallway to your next class. Biochemistry, that was a small short class that you recently signed up for this quarter and it was your first and only class you don't share with Julie, stopping at the door the girl leans on you before fake crying “why must we depart!” the girl yells as you rub her back trying to console her but to no avail “I’ll see you in thirty minutes calm down” you console as the girl lets up wiping the fake tears.
“I should have applied for this stupid class” she mumbles before walking away you giggle at the silliness of your best friend before walking into the classroom.
Gasping in awe at how cool the room was you took everything in from the scent of Maple, to the posters that have many science quotes and the periodic table, you find a seat by a window close to the front but not so close.
Setting your stuff down and getting situated you don't even notice someone placing their stuff down at the same table you were currently sitting at without looking up you just smile, placing your notebook down and opening it up and writing your name.
“Good afternoon students” A caramel skinned man says walking into the classroom with papers and textbooks placed under his arm.
The classroom starts to die down as the teacher stops at his desk, placing his stuff down and turning to the chalkboard behind him to write his name.
“My name is Professor Jayce Talis and I am your Biochemistry teacher” he introduces before observing the class, he looks nervous. You notice how much he is sweating; he seems intimidated by all the students scrutinizing him.
Looking out the window at the cold windy day and taking in what the professor is saying you start to think about what assignment you're gonna do first once you get home “you're pretty” a feminine voice declares you thank them not turning your head away from the window the voice sighs before speaking again.
“Are you new here? I've never seen you before” you roll your eyes before turning to the stranger wanting them to stop talking to you.
Dammit
Sitting by you is the very girl you try your absolute hardest to avoid and she's smiling down at you leaning on her hand “um no I'm not new” you whisper quietly but loud enough for Caitlyn to hear she nods her head still staring at you.
“Really? How come I've never seen you before?” she questions looking over a Jayce who is writing stuff on the chalkboard and then back at you.
You just shrug your shoulders not knowing what to say “I'm usually to myself and my locker is on the far side of the school” you whisper before cussing out yourself for saying that the last thing you needed was for her to find our locker and everything about you with the reputation she has you don't want her lifestyle to corrupt you.
Caitlyn's gaze lingers, her piercing blue eyes studying you like you're some kind of puzzle she’s determined to solve. Her smile doesn’t falter, but there’s a flicker of curiosity behind it, as though your quiet demeanor has intrigued her in a way she hadn’t anticipated.
Her gaze feels like it’s burning into your skin, and you shift uncomfortably in your seat, trying to ignore her persistent attention.
You glance back out the window, hoping she’ll take the hint and stop, but Caitlyn is nothing if not relentless.
“Far side of the school, huh?” Caitlyn muses, her voice low but teasing. She leans a little closer, her perfume a mix of something floral and expensive invading your senses. “So, what? You’re hiding from everyone?”
“I’m not hiding,” you mutter, still refusing to meet her gaze.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Caitlyn quips, tilting her head with an amused smirk. “You seem like the type who’d rather fade into the background. Quiet, mysterious…” She trails off for a moment before her smile turns sly. “You’re kind of cute, you know that?”
Your heart stumbles in your chest, and you finally look at her, caught off guard by the compliment. Her grin only widens when she sees the surprise written all over your face.
“I- uh…” you stammer, struggling to form a coherent response.
Before you can finish, the bell rings, and the sound jolts you back to reality. Students begin shuffling out of their seats, gathering their things, but Caitlyn doesn’t budge. She stays seated, her chin still resting on her hand as she watches you fumble to pack up your books.
“See you around… locker girl on the far side,” Caitlyn says with a wink, her tone light but carrying a teasing edge.
You pause mid-motion, feeling her gaze lingering on you as you sling your bag over your shoulder. “Yeah… sure,” you mumble, avoiding her eyes as you hurry toward the door.
As you step into the hallway, your mind races, replaying every second of the conversation. Caitlyn Kiramman, of all people, had just singled you out. And not just to tease, but with an intensity that made you feel completely out of your depth.
Outside the classroom, Julie leans against the wall, her green hair partially covering her face as she’s absorbed in her phone. She doesn’t notice you approach until you tap her shoulder. She glances up, a small smile spreading across her face as she slips her phone into her pocket.
“How was class?” she asks, linking her arm through yours.
You shrug, hesitating. How were you supposed to explain that Caitlyn Kiramman, of all people, was now sitting beside you? “It was… fine,” you mumble, keeping your gaze ahead.
Julie narrows her eyes at you, sensing there’s more to the story. “Just fine?”
You nod quickly, trying to brush it off. “Yeah, nothing special.”
But your mind is still reeling from Caitlyn’s lingering smile and teasing tone.
Julie stops abruptly, planting her feet and gripping your shoulders. Her emerald eyes narrow as she studies your face. “What’s going on? I know something is up!” she demands, her voice firm but laced with curiosity. You try to shrug her off, but her grip tightens, refusing to let you dodge her question. “Nothing’s going on,” you insist, though your voice wavers slightly.
“Liar,” Julie retorts, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. Her green eyes narrow as she leans closer. “Spill it, Y/N. You’ve got that ‘I’m hiding something’ look written all over you.”
You sigh, realizing she won’t drop it. “Okay, fine,” you admit, lowering your voice and glancing around the hallway to make sure no one’s listening. “Caitlyn Kiramman sat next to me in biochem.”
Julie freezes for a moment, her expression stuck between shock and horror, before her voice explodes out of her. “You’re sitting by who?!” she practically shouts, her voice bouncing off the hallway walls.
Heads turn, students pausing mid-conversation to stare. Flushing with embarrassment, you wave your hands frantically, trying to calm her down. “Julie! Keep it down!” you hiss, glancing nervously at the gawking onlookers.
Julie slaps a hand over her mouth, her green hair bouncing as she leans closer to you. “Caitlyn Kiramman? The Caitlyn Kiramman? Miss Queen of Piltover Academy? And you’re just telling me this now?” she whispers, her voice still dangerously loud for your liking.
“Shh” you grab her arm, tugging her closer to keep her from shouting again “yes ok? She sat next to me in biochem and wouldn’t stop talking to me.It’s not that big of a deal!
Julie grips your arms tightly, her face a mix of disbelief and frustration. “Oh my God, this is insane. What did she say? Did she insult you? Ask you out? Did Vi show up and punch someone?”
“Julie!” you exclaim, cutting her off. “No, it wasn’t anything like that” She narrows her eyes, studying you like you’re hiding a secret. Then, with a dramatic eye roll, she releases your arms.
“You’re acting like I want her to sit by me,” you defend, crossing your arms as Julie stares at you like you’ve just grown a second head.
“You can always move!” she exclaims, her voice rising again.
“Julie!” you shush her, glancing around nervously. “Can you not yell everything? People are staring.”
Julie rolls her eyes dramatically. “You could move,” she repeats in a quieter tone, “but you’re not, are you? Don’t tell me you’re actually falling for this whole ‘she’s nice’ act?”
You hesitate, fidgeting with the strap of your backpack. “I mean… she does seem nice,” you admit, your voice soft. “She hasn’t done anything mean to me. She just… talks a lot and, I don’t know, she seems curious.”
Julie’s jaw drops, and she throws her hands up in disbelief. “Curious? About you? Babe, she’s Caitlyn fucking Kiramman. She doesn’t get curious, she gets what she wants.”
You flinch at her tone, but Julie’s face remains hard as she scoffs, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “I can’t believe you’re just sitting there, letting her of all people talk to you. Caitlyn Kiramman isn’t nice, Y/N. She’s a snake.”
You try to explain, but Julie cuts you off before you can get a word out. “I don’t care what kind of ‘nice’ act she’s putting on, you’re not gonna fall for it. She’s got a reputation, you know? People like her don’t just sit next to people like you for no reason. There’s always an angle.”
You open your mouth to protest, but the words catch in your throat. Julie's got a point there's something about Caitlyn's curiosity, her careful observation of you, that doesn't sit quite right. But still...
“She didn’t do anything bad,” you murmur, your voice wavering.
Julie’s expression hardens, her voice sharp. “That’s the thing, Y/N. She’s not gonna show her true colors right away. It’ll be subtle, maybe even sweet, but trust me eventually, you’re gonna see the real Caitlyn. And when you do, I don’t want you coming to me with your ‘I should’ve listened to you’ speech.”
You stare at your friend, the concern in her voice ringing louder than her usual playful teasing. Julie may hate Caitlyn, but she’s always had your back. You can’t help but feel a growing unease, a knot tightening in your stomach.
“But what if she’s really just... trying to be nice?” you ask, more to yourself than to Julie.
Julie scoffs again, clearly frustrated. “You really think a girl like Caitlyn wants to be ‘nice’? Please. She’ll throw anyone under the bus the second it benefits her.” She pauses for a moment, her voice dropping slightly.
"Well, have you met Vi yet?" Julie asks, her voice taking on a more serious edge as she narrows her eyes at you.You shake your head, feeling a wave of confusion wash over you. "No, I haven’t," you reply cautiously, sensing the shift in her mood.
Julie bites her lip, her gaze flickering with uncertainty, as if she's weighing whether to share what’s on her mind. After a long pause, she sighs, her expression hardening slightly. "Good. Let's keep it that way." She takes a step closer to you, her voice quieter but still tinged with a warning. "Vi is... different. She’s not like Caitlyn."
You stop walking for a moment, eyeing her with curiosity. "What do you mean? How are they different?"
Julie looks around before leaning in slightly, her tone dropping to a hushed whisper. "Caitlyn might be a manipulator, but Vi? She’s straight-up dangerous. She's unpredictable, and honestly, she doesn't care who she hurts."
You furrow your brows, unsure of what to make of her words. "But... aren't they together? Caitlyn and Vi?" you ask, your mind still reeling from the tension in Julie's voice.
Julie gives a tight nod as she pulls open your locker. "Yeah, they’re together. But just because they’re a couple doesn’t mean they're on the same team." She pauses, her expression grim. "Caitlyn uses people, sure, but Vi... she breaks them. If Vi’s interested in you, or if she sees something she wants, she’ll go after it no questions asked. It’s not a game to her."
You digest her words slowly, the gravity of what Julie’s saying sinking in. You can’t help but feel a little uneasy, the warning hanging in the air like a storm cloud.
"So, what do I do?" you ask, not sure how to handle the situation.
Julie takes a deep breath, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at you with a hint of concern in her eyes. "Stay away from both of them. Trust me, you don’t want to get caught in the middle. Caitlyn may seem all nice and polite, but she’s got her agenda, and Vi... well, Vi doesn’t care about anyone but herself. They’re trouble, Y/N. Big trouble."
You nod slowly, the weight of her words sitting heavy in your chest. As much as you want to trust Caitlyn’s kind words and playful demeanor, Julie’s warnings are hard to ignore. The last thing you want is to get tangled in their web.
Julie gives you a quick, reassuring pat on the back before slamming your locker shut. "Just be careful. And if you see Vi, turn the other way. Got it?" You give a small nod, even though a part of you wonders if it’s really that simple.
——
Lunch rolled around, and you and Julie decided to sit outside on the bleachers, away from the chaos of the cafeteria. The crisp breeze carried faint laughter and chatter from other students scattered around the schoolyard, but out here, it felt quieter more your speed.
You carefully unwrap your sandwich, savoring the peaceful hum of your surroundings. The soft rustling of leaves and distant conversations made the moment feel calm, a small escape from the usual school day noise.
Julie sits beside you on the bleachers, her bag balanced haphazardly on her lap as she rummages through it with an exaggerated sense of purpose. She mutters something under her breath, pulling out a few stray items before shoving them back in. Finally, she stops, her eyes lighting up as she grabs something with a triumphant grin.
“Okay,” she announces, holding up a Tupperware container like it’s a prized artifact. The lid is slightly warped, and the contents inside are a questionable mix of colors and textures. She stares at it for a moment before looking at you with a sheepish smile. So… I know I packed this,” she begins, waving the container slightly for emphasis, “but I was high out of my mind and just started throwing random shit together.”
You raise an eyebrow, leaning slightly away from the mystery container. “That’s… not exactly reassuring.”
Julie snorts, popping the lid off with a dramatic flourish. The smell hits immediately, not bad, but not exactly good, either. Inside is a chaotic mix of pasta, what looks like canned beans, and a handful of unidentifiable chunks that might be chicken or tofu. “See? It’s fine,” she says, grabbing a fork from her bag and poking at the concoction. A piece of something grayish jiggles ominously. “Totally edible.”
“Define edible,’” you say, narrowing your eyes at the container. Julie rolls her eyes, scooping up a forkful and holding it out to you. “Come on, don’t be dramatic. Try it.” You lean back, crossing your arms. “Yeah, I’ll pass. I don’t have a death wish today.”
“Your loss,” she says with a shrug, stuffing the bite into her own mouth. Her face twists for half a second before she forces a too-bright smile. “Mmm. Delicious.”
You smile at your silly friend, biting into your sandwich as you watch her grimace slightly while forcing down another bite of her so-called “food.” Despite her insistence that it’s edible, the look on her face tells a different story.
Julie stabs at her pasta concoction with exaggerated determination, muttering something about it being "an acquired taste." You laugh under your breath, shaking your head. The two of you are so absorbed in your banter that you don’t notice someone approaching until they’re practically on top of you.
“I knew I’d find you little rats out here,” a familiar voice chimes.You look up to see Lena standing a few steps below, one hand on her hip and the other holding a bag that you assume is filled with food. Her sharp smirk is unmistakable, paired with an air of confidence that makes her presence impossible to ignore.
Julie lights up instantly, setting her fork down and leaning back on her hands. “Took you long enough, babe. Where’d you even go to get your food?”
Lena places the bag down in front of you two with a small smirk, three neatly wrapped burgers are in the bag. Julie’s eyes widened in delight. “No way. You went to that burger place?” Lena nods her head, taking a slow sip of her iced coffee.
“You know I don’t eat this prison food,” she says with a casual shrug. She then reaches into the bag and pulls out two burgers, handing them to you and Julie. “I got it just how you like it.” Julie’s face lights up, and she immediately unwraps hers, her smile widening as she sees the extra mushrooms piled high on her burger. “Ugh, yes! Extra mushrooms!” she exclaims, holding the burger up like a prize. “You’re a lifesaver, Lena.”
You can’t help but grin at the sight of Julie so happy over something as simple as a burger. You take yours from Lena and unwrap it too, feeling the warmth of the freshly made burger in your hands. It’s perfect just the way you like it. You glance up at Lena, giving her a nod of approval.
“Thanks, Lena,” you say, taking a bite and savoring the delicious flavor. Lena leans back, her smirk tugging at her lips. “Anytime,” she says, her voice casual but with a hint of pride in the way she nailed it.
The three of you settle into a comfortable silence, savoring the food and the rare moment of peace away from the usual chaos of school. The soft chatter of other students drifts over from the field, where groups are laughing and tossing around a football. Your gaze wanders across the campus, taking in the laid-back atmosphere.
It’s then that your mind drifts back to earlier that day in biochem. You remember Caitlyn sitting down beside you like it was nothing, her usual confident smile plastered on her face as she casually struck up a conversation.
The memory of her soft but deliberate voice lingers in the back of your mind, and you find yourself frowning slightly, still uncertain about where this unexpected attention from her is headed. She had been too casual about it, almost like she was testing the waters. You’re not sure whether to be flattered or suspicious.
Julie’s voice cuts through your thoughts, pulling you back to the present. “You alright?” she asks, glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow, clearly noticing you’ve been zoning out.
You blink, realizing you’ve been lost in thought for longer than you intended. “Yeah, just... thinking.”
Julie eyes you for a moment, then shrugs and stuffs a bite of her burger into her mouth, clearly too hungry to press further. Lena, nestled comfortably against Julie, has her attention on her phone, scrolling through Instagram. After a few seconds, she taps her screen and turns it off, glancing at you with a knowing look. “Thinking about what?” she asks, her voice light but curious.
Julie, not missing a beat, grins mischievously and turns to her girlfriend. “Probably that Caitlyn thing.” You roll your eyes, frustrated that Julie picked up on your distracted mood so quickly. Of course, she’d jump to Caitlyn.
Lena sits up slightly, her eyes widening as she glances between the two of you, clearly intrigued. “Bitch, what Caitlyn thing? Why am I not filled in on what’s going on?” Julie smirks, clearly enjoying the drama unfolding. “Well, little Miss Y/N has gotten the attention of the infamous Caitlyn Kiramman.”
Lena’s eyes go wide, and you can see the shock in her face. “No way, shut up.” She looks at you, her disbelief clear. You groan in frustration, not wanting to talk about it anymore, but it seems like it’s inevitable now. Julie continues, oblivious to your discomfort. “She’s in Y/N’s biochem class and is probably putting on some fake-ass facade just to mess with her.”
Lena’s tone shifts, clearly irritated. “Ugh, that bitch. Don’t tell me you’re falling for this?”
You look down in defeat, silently agreeing with her words, but you don’t have the energy to argue it. Julie, always quick to stir the pot, responds before you can. “She totally is.”
Lena stares at you incredulously, her voice low with disbelief. “Are you stupid?” she asks, her eyes narrowing. Julie gives you a playful hit on the arm. “I don’t have stupid friends,” she says, delivering another playful hit for emphasis.
“Ow, thanks, Julie,” you mutter sarcastically, rubbing your arm. “I thought I was telling the story, but you pretty much said everything. While you’re at it, tell Lena that you failed your trigonometry test.” Lena immediately turns her attention to Julie, her mouth dropping open in shock. Julie tries to keep a straight face but can’t help but give a sheepish grin.
Lena explodes, her voice loud enough to attract the attention of nearby students. “You failed your trigonometry test?! Are you serious right now?” she yells, giving Julie an exaggerated smack on the arm, which causes Julie to flinch in mock pain.
You smile at your friends' silliness, but the moment is quickly cut short by the shrill sound of the bell ringing. Lena and Julie pull away from each other, and the three of you get up to clean up your mess and head inside. As you gather your things, Lena looks at you, her expression suddenly serious.
"Y/N, please don’t fall for whatever act Caitlyn is putting on," she warns, her voice a little firmer than usual. Julie, ever the playful one, snickers behind her. "I already told her that," she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
You roll your eyes at their attempts to discipline you. "Yeah, thanks for the advice," you mutter, not entirely convinced. But before you can say anything more, Lena presses on, her tone shifting again. "Have you met Vi yet?"
You shake your head, and Lena visibly relaxes, letting out a small sigh of relief. "Good. Whatever you do, try to avoid Vi," she says, her voice laced with concern. Julie, not missing a beat, snickers once more. "I told her that,as well…" she trails off, glancing between the two of you with a mischievous grin.
"Okay, well I gotta help the leadership club," Lena says, her tone slightly amused. "They’re having some discourse and need me to help figure it out." She grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder.
"Y/N, text me when you're out of your next class, we need to finish this discussion. And you," she points at Julie with a mock-serious expression, "we need to talk about some things."
Julie raises an eyebrow and smirks, clearly amused. "What kind of talk?" she asks, leaning back casually. Lena gives her a knowing look, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Don’t act innocent, Greenhead. You know exactly what I mean.
Julie just shrugs, her grin widening as she leans in and presses a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek. "Sure, sure, whatever you say, babe," she says, her voice light and teasing.
Lena rolls her eyes, but the smile on her face betrays her amusement as she pulls away, ready to tackle whatever the leadership club has thrown her way.
"Are you ready for gym class?" Julie asks, her voice upbeat as she pulls you towards the locker room.
—
Gym class was a nightmare. You hated it with every fiber of your being. You almost wished it was like elementary and middle school again, where you could pull out the "I have asthma, and I can't do some of this because of my lungs" excuse. Unfortunately, that doesn’t fly here.
So what did you do?" you ask, glancing over as you help Julie with her sit-ups. She looks at you, clearly confused, before groaning in frustration.
"I don’t know, why do I always gotta do something" she mutters, exasperated. "We got into it a while ago over something dumb. One minute everything’s fine, and the next, we’re arguing about who left the damn door open." She lets out a heavy sigh, clearly over it. "Honestly, I’m just tired of the drama."
You nod, understanding more than you want to admit. Relationships, especially the complicated ones, were a lot of work. You’ve been lucky enough never to be in one. You’ve had crushes before, but it’s never gone further than that. As Julie pushes herself up for another sit-up, you try to lighten the mood.
"Well, at least you get to work it out, right?" you say with a small smile, trying to keep things light. Julie smirks, though her eyes still hold a trace of frustration.
"Yeah, I love her... like, a lot," she says, pausing for a moment. "But damn, she can be so annoying at times."
You nod, looking at your love-stricken friend with a mix of amusement and sympathy. "You look in love, though. I’m happy for you," you say, giving her a genuine smile.
Julie stops her push-ups and looks up at you, her expression softening. A smile tugs at her lips. "Thanks," she says quietly, her eyes bright with affection.
“You guys better invite me to the wedding," you say with a playful grin, raising an eyebrow.
Julie laughs, shaking her head. "Don’t get ahead of yourself," she teases, but her eyes twinkle with a hint of affection. "We’ve still got a lot of drama to sort out before we even think about that."
You chuckle, tossing her a teasing look. "I mean, I’m just saying, I’ll be the one to give the best speech." You pause, leaning back against the gym wall. "And maybe I’ll get a plus one, so I don’t have to go solo."
Julie smirks, rolling her eyes. "I’ll make sure to keep the guest list in mind," she says with a wink. "But for now, let’s just focus on surviving gym class without passing out, huh?"
You both burst out laughing, the tension finally breaking as you both share a moment of relief. The sound of your laughter fills the space, easing the weight that’s been hanging over the conversation.
Minutes slip by, the two of you helping each other with sit-ups, until Julie suddenly groans, pushing herself up for the last time. "I’m tired of sit-ups," she announces, stretching and standing up with a dramatic sigh. "I’m going to grab my water bottle and find something else for us to do." She flashes you a grin before strolling off, clearly energized by the idea of mixing things up.
You’re left alone in the gym, your mind still buzzing from the conversation with Julie. You watch her walk away to grab her water bottle, the gymnasium stretching out before you in a mix of activity. The sounds of sneakers squeaking on the floor, the thud of basketballs, and the occasional shout fill the air as other students go about their routines.
You glance around, a little aimless now that Julie’s gone. Some kids are running laps, others are working on their stretches, while a few are in small clusters talking or fooling around.
A sense of detachment washes over you, as if you're just a bystander in the midst of all the activity around you. You feel like you're on the outskirts, an unnoticed face in a sea of movement. You pull out your phone, checking the time, silently counting down the minutes until gym class finally ends and you can escape to your last class of the day.
"You know you're not allowed on your phone, right?" A voice in front of you says, breaking the quiet. You roll your eyes, already expecting it, before glancing up at the person in front of you.
You gasp when you see who it is. Vi. Without missing a beat, you quickly put your phone down on the bench, a mix of annoyance and awkwardness flooding through you.
Her smirk widens as she steps closer, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Didn't think you'd be the type to get caught," she says, her tone playful yet carrying a sharp edge. "Guess I was wrong."
Before you can respond, she begins circling you, her gaze bold and shameless as it sweeps over you. You can feel the weight of her stare, every step around you making your body tense just a little more under her scrutiny.
"Are you always this tense?" she teases, her voice dipping into something low and suggestive as she leans in, her breath brushing against the shell of your ear. "Or is it just me?"
You swallow hard, heat rushing to your face at the blatant invasion of your personal space. "I… uh… wasn’t expecting company," you stammer, your voice wobbling as you attempt to maintain composure. It's clear, though, that she's reveling in how off-balance you are.
Her smirk deepens as her eyes flicker down, catching the way your hands instinctively tug at the hem of your gym shorts, a feeble attempt to shield yourself from her penetrating gaze. "Relax," she says, her tone somewhere between amused and mocking. "I’m not gonna bite… unless you want me to."
That comment has your heart skipping a beat, and you glance away, hoping the face you're making isn’t as obvious. But Vi doesn’t back off if anything, she seems even more entertained by your reaction.
You try to shake off the unease, but before you can say anything, Vi’s smirk deepens as she notices your reaction. “What’s with the look? Did I hit a nerve?” she teases, her tone equal parts playful and predatory.
You avert your gaze, focusing on a random spot on the gym floor. "No," you mutter softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
Vi chuckles, clearly amused by your quiet demeanor. “You’re shy, huh? That’s cute too,” she says, taking another step closer. Her presence feels heavy, like it’s taking up all the space around you, and you instinctively shrink back, gripping the edge of the bench for some kind of stability.
Your pulse quickens as she leans in just a little more, and without fully thinking, you raise your hand to gently push her back. “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested,” you say, your voice steady despite the nerves bubbling under the surface.
Vi freezes for a moment, her smirk faltering. She straightens up, her gaze sharpening as she studies your expression. For a brief second, you think you might’ve offended her, and the fear grips your chest like a vice. The rumors about her temper flash through your mind, and your eyes dart toward the locker room, silently begging for Julie to come back.
Then, unexpectedly, Vi starts to laugh a low, throaty sound that sends a chill down your spine. “Wow,” she says, shaking her head in disbelief. “You really are different, huh?” You’re not sure how to respond, so you just sit there, frozen under her intense gaze. Vi tilts her head, as if sizing you up all over again. “Most people don’t have the guts to tell me no. Guess that makes you kind of interesting.”
Her tone is calm, almost teasing, but it does little to ease the tension in your chest. She takes a step back, finally giving you some space, and crosses her arms, the smirk returning to her lips.
“Alright, Y/N. I’ll back off…for now,” she says, her voice dripping with mischief. “But don’t think I’m giving up that easily.”
Before you can respond, the sound of footsteps approaching makes your heart leap. Julie appears, her expression instantly hardening when she spots Vi standing there.
“What the hell are you doing?” Julie snaps, glaring at Vi as she strides over.
Vi shrugs, looking completely unfazed. “Just having a chat with your little friend here. Nothing serious.”
Julie places herself between the two of you, her protective instincts kicking in. “Well, the chat’s over. Get lost,” she says, her tone firm and unyielding.
Vi raises her hands in mock surrender, that ever-present smirk still on her face. “Relax, Greenhead. I’m not here to start a fight.” She glances at you one last time, her eyes glinting with something you can’t quite place. “See you around, Y/N.”
With that, she saunters off, leaving you and Julie alone. Julie turns to you, her face a mix of concern and frustration. “What did she say to you? Did she do anything?”
You shake your head quickly. “No, she didn’t do anything. Just... talking.”
"Oh, great. This just got ten times worse. You really know how to attract trouble, don’t you?"Julie scoffs, running a hand through her green hair. “Talking, my ass. You’ve gotta be careful around her, Y/N. She’s trouble. Both her and Caitlyn.”
You nod, though the encounter still lingers in your mind. “I’ll be fine,” you say softly, but the look on Julie’s face tells you she’s not convinced.
“Let’s just get through the rest of this class,” she mutters, grabbing her water bottle. “And stay close to me, alright?”
You nod again, following her as she leads the way back into the gym. But even as you try to focus on the rest of the period, you can’t shake the feeling that this won’t be the last time Vi seeks you out.
What have you gotten yourself into?
Ⓒ︎ seulszn
#seulszn#arcane x reader#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane vi x reader#caitvi × reader#caitlyn kiramman × reader
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I am two. I hate pink and dresses and anything feminine. It feels like a betrayal to myself to my body.
I am seven. I hold all my hair behind my neck to see what I would look like as a boy. I smile look in the mirror and think I look so pretty as a boy I wish I was a boy. This happens for years after.
I am eight. My friend gets a bob. I have just learned women can have short hair. I beg my mom to let me get one. My hair stays short for years afterwards.
I am eight. I tell my friends I wish I wasn't a girl.
I am eight. I find about the term tomboy. I love it. I ignore the fact that the boy part makes me giddy
I am nine. My mom sets aside anything pink from my cousin's hand me downs because she knows I refuse to wear pink and dresses.
I am ten. I am realizing that I will grow boobs. I stare at my flat chest in the mirror for a few minutes before every shower scared I'll forget what it looks like.
I am eleven. I see Jammidodger for the first time. I learn trans men can fully pass. This makes me feel tingly inside.
I am thirteen. Every time I imagine older me they look like a man.
I am thirteen. My body doesn't feel right. I hate it. My boobs feel too small and too big.
I am fourteen. I am at a waterpark with my friends. I make a joke about not being able to trust men. I mishear my friend and think she says that means we shouldn't trust you. This makes me happier than anything ever has. I realize I am trans in line for a waterslide.
I am fourteen. I come out to a friend. He makes a face. I tell him I am joking. He says "Good because being trans is bad"
I am fourteen. I create a secret Tumblr account without my parents' permission. Someone tells me I have a yaoi fetish and that's why I'm trans. I am a minor. The only yaoi I've seen was the three times I didn't read the tags on minecraft youtuber fanfics.
I am fourteen. I realize one day I will no longer be able to live a lie one day and not be able to see one part of my family.
I am fourteen. I am dry heaving on my bedroom floor wondering if I'll be buried in a dress under the wrong name. Wondering if someone will try to 'fix' me.
I am fourteen. I join theatre. Everyone calls me my real name there. I feel more comfortable than I ever have.
I am fourteen. I come out to my mom. She accepts that I am bi. When I say I might be trans she tells me I can be a woman and still be masculine.
(This isn't the blog I made when I was fourteen for the record)
#trans men#trans rights#trans woman#trans inclusive feminism#bi#transandrophobia#trans experience#i made this to show that i've been showing signs of being trans since i was two#this isn't even everything
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Maple Leafs Part 2
Pairing: Lance Stroll x Daniel Ricciardo x Black! Reader
Warnings: Mention of Racism! REALLY FLUFFY! other than that part.
Summary: When Daniel Ricciardos old friend finally comes to a race and all of a sudden she meets "everyons favorite Canadian" and now they both fall for her!
Words : N/A
Notes: THIS IS PART TWO You should read part one first! The app i usually for text is not down for free gc so if this one looks weird SORRY!
Part 1
@ lance_stroll story
babeswhoisyn
babeswhosyn Having fun with the boys
Creator Limited Comments
daniel3.jpg
daniel3.jpg it’s getting fun
username1 he’s posting Lance now? What is this?
-> username2 shes healing the bridge it seems.
username3 DANNY! LETS GO KEEP PUSHING
itsynbabes
itsynbabes Short break! It’s fun times.
tagged lance_stroll
lance_stroll it’s fun with you as well.
-> itsynbabes I’m happy you feel that way.
danielricciardo I still can’t believe this. You spend all your time with him now.
-> itsynbabes That is simply not true.
-> danielricciardo Yes it is.
username4 dare I say Danny is jealous? can I?
username5 this is so cute, happy they’re both happy
username6 I still don’t agree with this.
itsynbabes
itsynbabes Hungary HERE I AM! Another race weekend another dramatic event.
username7 She knows something!
username8 What’s happening?
yukitsunoda0511 Don’t jinx us!
maxverstappen1 Is it my comeback?
-> lando I hope not
-> itsynbabes SICK
itsynbabes
itsynbabes Black is Back Baby! Congratulations Lewis + George! You bought fought well.
PINNED itsynbabes Comments Are Limited Because I will not put up with racism. Good day!
lewishamilton Thank you yn.
georgerussel63 Sad outcome but it happens.
Creator Has Limited Comments
itsynbabes
itsynbabes after the week i had, happy for it to be summer break!
danielricciardo Summer break time, we're going to have fun.
-> itsynbabes I bet!
username9 Take a break honey you deserve it
username10 you don't deserve all the hate
lance_stroll We’re going to have a great summer
-> itsynbabes Thank you baby.
itsynbabes
itsynbabes that's the best summer i've had in a while, thank you guys
lance_stroll Anything for my Princess.
-> danielricciardo does that make you Sir. Lancelot?
-> lance_stroll i think it does.
username11 ARE THEY GETTING ALONG!
-> itsynbabes I know, crazy right? i'm doing gods work.
-> username12 Period!
@ itsynbabes story
itsynbabes
itsynbabes sorry for not posting a lot but here we go to the Italian GP!
TWITTER
F1 News Now Posted
Lance Strolls Girlfriend Yn gets into heated agrument with Aston fan after they called her a racial slur. Click the Link to Read More.
-> UPDATE : Photos from the scene! Lance Stroll and Daniel Ricciardo run to her aid after being not far away and hearing about the incident. Is this the end to their fued? Will Yns issues help them over come their differences?
itsynbabes
itsynbabes Fuck you too, and i meant it. For those of you who actually support me i'll be taking a break from posting, but i will still be on my story and going to races. love you guys.
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lewishamilton
lewishamilton This is so unacceptable, as a community racism and remarks are not something that should be normalized. What happened at the last race was not nice, or cool. See More…
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lance_stroll
lance_stroll what happened at the Italian Grand Prix is not expectable by any means. This sport has no place for hate.
Comments For This Post Have Been Turned Off
@ itsynbabes story
daniel3.jpg
daniel3.jpg A nice stroll never hurt.
TWITTER
F1 News Now Posted
Is Daniel Ricciardo Coming out as Bisexual? During the Dutch Grand Prix, he said “I don’t care who he/she is as long as we treat each other well.” On the fan stage.
@ danielricciardo story
— Taglist , to join to taglist click here
@lyslsstuff
#f1#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x reader#lance stroll x daniel ricciardo x reader#lance stroll x black reader#daniel ricciardo x bleack reader#lance stroll x daniel ricciardo x black reader#f1 smau#f1 x female reader
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i write, sometimes
thank you @citrusses for the tag!
how many works do you have on ao3? 17
what's your total ao3 word count? 234k (since WHEN)
your top 5 stories by kudos? — all drarry
you are safe (i know) (e, 42.5k)
though your world is changing (e, 16k)
it's you (e, 1.2k)
dinner and diatribes (e, 4.8k)
my hands are of your colour (e, 8k)
do you respond to comments? i... try
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? ebyt is the obvious answer, but i think my other bite-sized mcd is sadder: nothing to declare here (t, 1k)
what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? in retrospect, most of my endings are kind of fucked up, and i think dinner and diatribes is simplest in its offering of stable love & care.
do you write crossovers? i don't, it doesn't really interest me, but never say never!
have you ever received hate on a fic? though your world is changing often gets me called an infidelity apologist (uh.) + everyone seems to hate harry in that one (fair fucks). ebyt sometimes gets some "but WHY didn't they just TALK, author?" (fair, but also. uh.) nothing egregious, though
do you write smut? copying cits: often, and with great joy
have you ever had a fic stolen? couple uploaded to goodreads to be rated, but not wholesale thieving that i know of
have you ever had a fic translated? not yet, but huge shoutout to translators out there, it's such a labour of love and access!
have you ever co-written a fic before? no, and i don't know if i could? but again, never say never!
what's your all-time favorite ship? stupid wizard boys (pynch comes v close though)
what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? i love all my wips! i don't want to relegate any to the "never finish" category. my 50s/60s drarry photography fic is probably the most de-prioritised one right now? there's also a storyboard i once made for a case-fic where chef!draco is framed (or is he?) for poisoning the british minister during a diplomatic visit to romania, but that's really not a wip, i never put a word of that on the page. inspiration is a flighty thing though, who knows when it'll strike for what
what are your writing strengths? uh. uh? don't know how to judge this myself, but i think atmosphere is what i care for most & have sharpened skills to write accordingly
what are your writing weaknesses? many, but i suck at narrative humour especially, which is a travesty because i'd really like to write situational hilarity. also REALLY struggle with dialogue
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i haven't done this yet & don't know if i'd feel super comfortable if i didn't have some familiarity with the language (though if a fic calls for it, i'd do my best to approach someone who does know the language to help me out). i might use the indian languages i know (hindi & bangla) if i ever write the india sequence follow-up to my erised, and my werewolf anti-ministry wip might put my very rudimentary german to use at some point. i do love it when a fic uses different languages to serve a narrative/experiential purpose though!
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? trc! i'd love to write a pynch fic someday, once i've done a reread of the original four.
what's your favorite fic you've ever written? the dronarry fest fic i'm currently writing has been quite fun and new, the jeddy fic i'm currently writing also exorcises some nasty demons and is a delight to work on. i don't know if anything in my already published stuff really qualifies as a favourite (they either signal really difficult periods in my life and/or just aren't up to my current standards), but nothing to declare here, again, was short, sad & experimental, and close to four years later, i wouldn't change much about it.
i don't know who's done this, but paging @flightspathfic, @kamaela, @desertforestfic, @sleepstxtic, @phoebe-delia to tell me everything. and if you have already done it, let me know in the comments so i can go peer in your windows.
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I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution
#i ask if anyone wants this job and everyone starts whistling and checking their phones#their magic phones. theyre scrolls#mia.txt#tes#skyrim#oh no wait i forgot j'zargo wants the position & actively tries to kill you (these are separate events but still probably not unrelated)#and nirya's gunning for it too. you know what maybe its a good thing im the archmage because im never there and don't do anything#i drop in every few weeks for 10 minutes then leave. the place pretty much runs itself right#reddit says “they have a bullying problem” yeah i know i married him#and he's the new boss' special little princess and he can do whatever he wants forever. call the police about it#dont bring your piddly ass problems to the archmage shes busy girlbossing (committing widescale atrocities)#(yes i know this is just how tamrielic mage guilds are but i just think its funny bc everyone fucking hates them specifically#like the rest of the town despises them and allegedly the nords have a special disdain for magic so its kind of funny that they make no#attempt to like. be more normal to gain the locals' trust#and you know what? good for them. fuck them nords)#ulothir#<- mentioned in the tags lmfao
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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still thinking about it so heres a bunch of stuff
#like everything's colors are placeholders i never learned color theory#like i know “use colors next to eachother or directly opposite on the color wheel” but like#the way everyone describes it makes me feel like theres more to it#and im just too stupid to comprehend it#still like lineless/whatever the rw artstyle is#gradient tool my beloved. i need to mess with it more often#alice n beau live in jcjs superstructure cause its filled with free food (his brain) and a bunch of things to experiment with (his organs)#ive attempted to redesign abs like twelve different times now#i wonder how long this attempt will last before i hate it again#always caught between wanting to stylize to hell and back and wanting to be accurate to the source material#abs is supposed to be like a Really Really Early iterator#so she doesnt have tone modulation or the ability to express much facially and barely looks humanoid under the cloak#which i didnt draw because i couldnt settle on a Look for it#and in her single minded focus to annihilate jcj shes been neglecting herself to explain the motor function errors and also her can explodi#g#oh right normal tags#art#murder drones#rain world#i should invent a tag for this but i dunno what to call it#id love to gossip about all the stuff ive thought up for this au thing but 1. nobody cares 2. i cant talk for that long and 3.#i havent written like half of it down#if i had the confidence to even attempt writing i'd totally do an ao3 fic about this#hi living shifting oil guy/girl/thing i know you're gonna be like the only person to read this far#oh uhh#body horror#tw body horror#i think thats how you do it#probably should've added those first. oops
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Apologies for rarepair posting but them. God they're silly I could write an essay on them
Trophy x Mic!!!! Haven't seen anyone post about them but me and @dovewiiing call em golden notes :) unironically one of my favourite ships these days, once I learn how to draw soap it's OVER for everyone
#BTW I HEADCANON TROPHY AS TRANSFEM#It probably isn't thaaat important but if you see me calling her a girl. Yeah#Also I'm low-key scared to post this because like I have never seen this anywhere except some guys dni list for some reason?????#Whatever whatever golden notes posting is real#Golden notes ii#ii golden notes#Trophmic#Trophmic ii#ii trophmic#<- that's what I'll be tagging it with BTW so if you decide you hate this ship you can block it I know it won't be everyone's thing#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fanart#Trophy ii#ii Trophy#Mic ii#ii Mic#I love drawing my Trophy design actually it's fun to see how much she's slowly changed in my style
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Hello there, Friend!
Don't mind me! Just going through the Wreck-It Ralph Screencap website– Again. 👀
I love looking at all the Screencaps and just... overanalyzing them! Always small details that I didn't pick up on (especially while watching the movie)
For example, The time-lapse at the start of the movie! Since it went by real quick and all!
Analysis down below! 👇
(^ And I'm assuming that this might be the first time the game was played?? Or maybe the first week of being plugged in? Not sure, but moving on!)
First off, imma say it... RALPH'S FACE IS FUCKING HEARTBREAKING TO LOOK AT. It's not the expression of: "Aw, I lost :( "
NO, HE LOOKS GUILTY. AND THIS WAS "30 YEARS AGO." HE ALREADY FELT BAD FOR BEING PROGRAMMED TO DESTROY THE NICELANDERS BUILDING.
Y'all see how Felix isn't looking at Ralph? He's either looking down at the building, like "Gosh, woo! The gamers did it! All fixed!! 😊"
Or he's looking at the Nicelanders (Sidenote: Yeah, it's most likely just cause that's how the gameplay was programmed. But I'm still gonna over-analyze it!)
Y'all see that?? The Nicelanders be smiling and happy for a moment, AND SWITCH UP AFTER FELIX CLOSES HIS EYES.
It's probably like that outside of gameplay too. They probably act one way while Felix is looking, and the moment he turns his back, THEY BECOME THE JERKLANDERS.
(^ I have to put this in cause I thought it was *SO* funny. "Man, Gene's the fucking mayor too. Goddamn Gene... fucking mayor of Pettyland." 💀 he's the biggest asshole out of all of them. Makes sense he'd be the Mayor of that petty shithole place. "nice"-land.)
His eyes just stay closed.
Felix, you oblivious little fuck (I love you, you dense lil man...)
BUT OPEN YOUR EYES MF-- GODDAMN!!
Okay, so the look of shock on Ralph's face. He's like "AYO WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL DOING?! HOW CAN Y'ALL EVEN LIFT ME!!? I'M 9FT TALL AND WEIGH 653 POUNDS--"
Wait, cause y'all see how the first three Nicelanders are the ones lifting him up?
GENE AIN'T DOING ANYTHING. GENE YOU'RE A SHIT MAYOR. DON'T EVEN PULL YOUR WEIGHT AROUND HERE--
NAH, CAUSE FELIX IS THE ONLY ONE KEEPING THAT PLACE FROM FALLING APART. IN AND OUT OF GAMEPLAY.
^ GENE DON'T DO SHIT. 🗣📢
They gotta hold a new election; Felix for Mayor. Or LITERALLY ANYONE OTHER THAN GENE.
Ralph: "I'm a big part of the game, technically speaking... why are you here, GENE???"
*Gene's just the mf who gets thrown out of the building.*
KNOW YOUR PLACE, GODDAMN, GENE--
(Whoops I got off-topic. 😬💀)
Well first off - since it's the gameplay and all - for 30 years, Felix HAD HIS FUCKING EYES CLOSED; LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY.
Also, that's just level 1? How many levels does 'Fix-it Felix Jr' have? Does it just keep going until Felix Game-overs?
Does Ralph get thrown off the building every time a level's complete? Poor guy, and then he's treated like garbage - again, metaphorically AND LITERALLY
BECAUSE HE LIVES IN THE DUMP.
/end rant
#wreck it ralph#fix it felix#wir#fix it felix jr#wreck it ralph screencaps#wreck it ralph fandom#disney screencaps#this is just me ranting#once again#I need to come up with a tag for all my ramble posts#Maybe “Tristan Rambles” or “Tristan losing his shit; again” 💀#tristan ranting#idk i'll figure it out#I will literally take any chance I get - TO HATE ON GENE#NO HESITATION#All those bitches ('nice' landers) piss me off. BUT GODDAMN FUCKING GENE#^ the fact that my phone suggests “fucking Gene” right after I type “goddamn” 💀#@BashfulGnome hears all the “goddamn fucking gene” rants LMAO#everyone in the movie had character development... EXCEPT FOR FUCKING GENE#^ HE WAS AN ASSHOLE IN THE SECOND MOVIE TOO#“Come along now; CONDIMENT.” FUCKOFF GENE#The only good part of RBTI (besides Felix and Tammy) IS WHEN GENE GOT SPUN LIKE ONE OF THE TOYS IN TOY STORY#HE WAS LIKE THAT ONE BOWLING PIN THAT DOESNT GET KNOCKED OVER#grumbling to himself and looking pissed off when Felix called Tammy “Lady love~” LMAO#lmaoo get wrecked mf#Why is gene on the fucking cabinet?#also it's so weird that after 30 years of the same gameplay... It just changes AND NO ONE QUESTIONS ANYTHING#^ I have a whole hc that Mr Likwak knows what goes on after the arcade closes#I will write a separate post about that tho
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y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'
#like maybe a tiny bit of media literacy... might save you#and if you think i'm being mean like. its okay if you don't get it at first. it's okay if you don't understand the themes. but maybe#instead of stamping your feet and saying this makes no sense and i hate what they're doing and and and#maybe you could try listening to other people's interpretations of things and you'll find that what the show is trying to tell you becomes#more clear! would you look at that. wild how that happens#like im sorry you're entitled to your opinions but calling things bad writing just because you don't quite get it or it doesn't resonate#with you personally... i don't think you should just say this was shitty and worthless#the examples im using are because both resonate with me btw. 73 yards was existential horror it was hill house and bly manor#(im going to write about this in another post btw bc it compels me so)#it was about the way fear of abandonment can haunt you how mental illness can haunt you how you feel like you can drive people away#just by being yourself (the Woman was Herself what caused ruby to be abandoned was Her it's about her feeling as though she was the cause#of everyone who left her even as a baby even the people who loved her most could decide to not love her at the drop of a hat)#colin bridgerton is masking and faking a personality because it has been proven that time and time again#being Himself is Wrong that he annoys people he makes himself into what people expect of him because he's tired of being abandoned too#his family ignores and does not reply to his letters this season PEN stopped replying to his letters#his brother was cruel to him for being a romantic his friends LAUGHED AT HIM for saying sex is meaningful to him and don't they feel lonely#his Fake Rake persona makes viewers cringe because! its!! fake!!! he's faking it! HE GETS CALLED OUT ON IT TWICE IN EP ONE#if you don't understand he's faking it then that's on you at that point! i don't know! maybe take a minute to sit in the discomfort and ask#why did this show make me react this way and do you think maybe it was on purpose#''73 yards was confusing'' do you think confusion may be one of the ways ruby feels about her abandonment?#there is a theme in all of her episodes so far is it ''badly written'' unclear to you or do you just refuse to think critically about it#txtly#and im sorry for tagging this its just for my blog i kinda wish they still didnt show up in tags if i tag them all the way at the bottom#[old lady ruby voice] ''i used to be able to tag things just for myself once upon a time''#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#doctor who#doctor who spoilers
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saw someone unironically saying "rhinedottir fed nigredo to durin to make nigredo grow better and stronger because durin's stomach is actually nurturing like hummus 😊😊😊" god if you're up there can you revoke this person's rights to speak about rhinedottir, or any morally questionable girlboss for that matter. if you can't accept that a lady had her son swallow her other son whole then just move onto characters who are actually nice instead of rewriting the actually not so good characters to fit your imaginary narrative better.
#rhine rambling tag#rhinedottir#i swear to god no one has it worse than rhinedottir fans we're in the FUCKING TRENCHES#if it's not people claiming rhinedottir is gonna be an eden or black swan or mobius or whatever honkai girl expy#or saying she's a descender because of that one “flower that is not of this world” line WHICH WAS DEBUNKED SINCE 2. FUCKING 3#its people doing olympics levels of mental gymnastics to convince themselves and everyone else that she's not a horrible person.#SHE IS. THAT'S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT#god. reminds me of an ex-friend of mine that was 100% convinced scara was a psychopath who would turn evil and sadistic after 3.3#and downright saying that the “little doll” story should have been deleted because it didn't fit THEIR interpretation of scara#that was based entirely in wishful thinking and poor misconceptions that have been cleared up PATCHES AGO.#but they just COULDN'T accept that scaramouche wasn't this inherently murderous goth sadistic mommy kinda character#and called ME and MY FRIEND *DELUSIONAL*#last time i spoke to them they said that neuvillette would never cry because he uhh didnt understand his emotions??? WHAT#THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS MAYBE IF YOU WERENT BUSY CRANKING IT TO SCARAMOUCHE IN NURSE LINGERIE YOU'D ACTUALLY KNOW WHO THE CHARACTERS **ARE**#aight that was quite the tangent#ok new tag#rhine hating
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