#i hate how some things still affect me so much

[hexhomos]

Hey man, I follow you on bluesky, but I’m too shy to interact openly 😔 Could you maybe share more about the state of the fandom before season 2? I was watching Arcane as it was coming out in 2021, but I never interacted with the fandom back then so a lot of things that you say come as a surprise… Even I knew that a lot of people disliked Jayce tho which was crazy to me because he was my favorite after Jinx and Silco and I always found him to very compellingly written. But I never thought that he was hated to such an extent! Was Jayvik really a crackship with a small fanbase as some people say? I knew it was much smaller than Caitvi which I thought was totally fair and understandable, but I’m pretty sure that I saw a decent amount of fan art on my Twitter TL back then…

Its very inaccurate to call jayvik a crackship during season 1 LOLLLL s1act1 had such a JV boom it was partially marketed by word of mouth as possible canon yaoi. And I say "marketed" with intent, netflix official pages and riot official pages made posts/memes with these two, including some sexual innuendo. Keep in mind, vikjayce was an old ship: from 2012 onwards there's already faint niches in the community and even fanfics.

I have some of those social media posts here.

The marketing yaoi memes became a problem after act2 came out and a lot of the audience felt rightfully betrayed/led on by corporate; i think on the netflix side they got confused on who the canon gay pair was but old time players were well acquainted with riot's HORRID handling of mlm couples - the disappointment wrt jayvik in season 1 was palpable and impossible to ignore, partially because their stories WERE well liked ingame as their lore selves, and in act1 as a potential couple.

for a little while back there "riot HATES gay men" became a whole memetic chorus repeated ad nauseam, and this did affect the decisionmaking process. In the following months they got lil nas X to collab on their yearly esports theme and collab on the new gay champion release (a man permanently separated from his ex partner because he was terrible in the relationship. no comment) and we also got the pride month reconfirmation that tfgraves are gay for eachother, though once again not in a relationship and not allowed to even confess, they were just posing in general proximity under the rainbow flag; an obvious step down from the pitch where they had Old Romantic History. Not even a kiss. You can sense the pattern on how riot approaches gay men here, and /why/ a lot of people on the fence have rallied behind jayvik after season 2. It would finally subvert the trend.

I would say post season 1 it was obviously caitvi city, with some other niches, biggest ones being timebomb and jayvik. Caitvi were Mega viral, successfully tricked general audiences into calling the game "league of lesbians" for a while back there, ascribing progressivity to the company where it was pinkmoneying at best. People's general hatred of jayce made it so he was underutilized, misread and mischaracterized at large, INCLUDING in caitvi or general fanworks. He was a republican trumpian dumbjock stocks guy, insert your least liked man here. It was not uncommon to click on a jayvik fic/fanart and see some sort of sentiment related to "oh jayce sucks but someone needs to kiss viktor", and this was mild ribbings when compared to people who DIDN'T ship it. On these other waters it was common to see "Viktor deserves much better!!!!!!" plastered on all the walls. hence the massive y/n stats on viktors page.

still, people who stuck by jayvik were generally doubly invested on it, and they even got a couple of zines made! Secret santa projects were also up and running for some years. There was fanmerch though not as much as we are seeing now, and also a recapture of league vikjayce content in much, much smaller numbers. Even back then and in the years before season 2 some rioters would already share and interact with these fanworks; people insisting that jayvik is "new" or was uncommon before are extremely wrong. In AO3 stats alone they were in the top 3 league ships of all time after season 1, and they are firmly #2 as of now, rapidly growing. The fanbase is cosmically larger now but the seed was always there.

[stxrsniolo]

┈̸̷┅ ̤ this changes nothing ━̸̷︭

╁ ⠀aegan is typing . . . ⠀⠀ࡆ⠀⠀listen up, because this one's for the grown-ups. if you're here for some steamy, pulse-racing action, you've hit the jackpot. this isn't your grandma's bedtime story; it's spicy, it's hot, and it's gonna keep you up at night for all the right reasons. keep the lights low and the inhibitions lower. enjoy, you naughty thing.

and yeah, i narrated this from matt's pov.

the vibe at jake's party bash in los angeles was electric, but for me, it was like walking into a minefield. there she was, y/n, the one who'd turned our love into a shitshow. our breakup was messy, full of screaming matches and slammed doors, leaving scars that wouldn't heal.

i clocked her from across the room, laughing like she didn't give a fuck, but i knew she was still hung up on us. she was trying too damn hard to act like she was over it, but i could see the cracks, i always did.

"i might've been too perfect, y'know, put up with your crap for way too long," i muttered, accent thick as i cut through the crowd to confront her.

she caught sight of me coming, her eyes narrowing, her fake-ass smile dropping. "well, well, look who decided to show up," she snapped, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"of course you're trying and failing to move on now," i shot back, my tone sharp, not letting her see how much it still hurt.

she scoffed, her drink in hand, looking like she was about to chuck it at me. "oh, like you've done any better, mr. perfect."

"i hope you find some dude to fill the emptiness... because we both know you can't survive without a plaything," i said, my voice carrying, the insult clear as day.

her face went red with fury, her hand tightening around her drink. "fuck off, matt. you think you're so damn superior?"

"i'm sure you'll find some sucker to overlook all your bullshit," i kept going, not backing down, the words like poison.

that did it: her arm swung, her drink flying, splashing all over my face, the glass just missing me as it shattered somewhere behind. the crowd gasped, the music seemed to stop, but all i could focus on was her, anger and hurt in her eyes.

"you're such a dick!" she screamed, her voice cracking, the rage real.

i wiped the drink off my face, the cold liquid chilling compared to the heat of our fight. "you always knew how to make an exit, huh?" i said, my voice low and dangerous, barely holding back my own anger.

she was panting, the shock of what she did hitting her. "i fucking hate you," she hissed, but there was something else there, a hint of the love we used to have, now all twisted up.

"and i should've hated you a long time ago," i shot back, the words slicing through any remaining ties.

the tension was unbearable, the air thick with our past and without another word, i grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards a quieter, secluded room off the main party area, the door slamming shut behind us.

"you think you can just come back into my life and fuck it up again?" she spat, her eyes blazing with defiance and something else... desire.

i didn't answer with words, instead, i pushed her against the wall, my body pressed against hers, our breathing heavy, the anger morphing into a raw, primal need. our mouths clashed in a kiss that was more battle than affection, teeth clashing, lips bruising.

"you're such a fucking mess," i growled against her lips, my hands already working on her clothes, the urgency in my movements speaking volumes. i ripped her top up, exposing her breasts, my mouth finding her nipples, sucking hard, making her moan against her will.

"and you're an asshole," she shot back, her hands equally as desperate, pulling at my shirt, her nails digging into my skin as she undid my jeans, freeing my hard cock.

we were a tangle of limbs, the hate fueling our actions, turning our anger into something dark, something passionate. i lifted her, her legs wrapping around me, her skirt hiked up, her panties torn aside in my urgency.

i was inside her with a roughness that spoke of all the pent-up frustration, the hurt, the longing, her pussy tight and wet around me, a testament to her own arousal despite the hate.

"this what you wanted?" i grunted, each thrust a mix of punishment and pleasure, our bodies remembering each other too well. i fucked her hard against the wall, her back hitting it with each deep drive, her moans a mix of pain and pleasure.

"shut up," she moaned, her voice a mix of defiance and ecstasy, her nails raking down my back, urging me on. i adjusted my angle, hitting that spot inside her that made her cry out, her legs tightening around me, her body trembling with the force of her pleasure.

i moved us to the small table in the room, laying her down, the surface cold under her bare skin, her legs spread for me. i watched her face as i thrust into her again, her eyes half-lidded, lips parted, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

i pulled her hips towards me, my movements becoming more erratic, more desperate, my thumb finding her clit, circling, pressing, driving her closer to the edge.

"you like this, don't you? being fucked like this, by someone you hate?" i taunted, my voice rough, my own climax building as i felt her tighten around me, her orgasm hitting her like a wave, her cries filling the room.

i didn't stop, the sight of her coming undone pushing me over the edge, my release following hers, my thrusts slowing as i filled her, our breaths mingling, the room silent except for our heavy breathing.

when it was over and the cold reality settled in, we didn't look at each other, the silence heavy with what we'd just done. i stepped back, zipping up, and she adjusted her clothes, our eyes avoiding each other's.

"this changes nothing," she said, her voice cold, the moment of vulnerability gone.

"never said it did," i replied, my tone matching hers, both of us knowing we'd just added another layer to our fucked-up history.

⨥⠀ ⠀⠀aegan is typing ᅟᅟ:ᅟ⠀heads up, copycats and wannabe adaptors: my work is mine, period. no copies, no mashups, and definitely no translations getting thrown up here or anywhere else without my say-so.

keep your hands off unless i give you the green light, got it?

tags: @courta13 @chrislilcumslvt @marrykisskilled @chrislova @sturnshood @inspiredangel @strnilolover @emely9274 @sturns-mermaid @blushsturns

[pumpkinpenguin]

okay so i was talking to my sister abt this but i'm kind of heated over it now and must share it with the 10 of u that i keep in my echo chamber

i love evil 2012 donnie aus. he's such a creechur and i think he should be able to commit crimes. as a treat.

however.

i HATE evil donnie aus where he's emotionless and/or turns on his brothers.

donnie is emotionally driven and he doesn't hide what he's feeling. excitement, anger, sadness; if he's feeling it you'll know he's feeling it. a lot of his mistakes/the trouble he gets into is because he's having an emotional outburst of some kind or he's thinking with his heart over his head. he's also incredibly anxious and high strung. if something goes wrong it could ruin his whole day. if donnie were to be evil and not hold back anymore, he'd be the most unhinged villain ever with emotions that switch faster than a spirit box surfing through radio channels, and they'd be intense as well. this could be said for rise donnie as well, to be honest, and there's a conversation to be had there about autistic characters who are awkward and standoffish getting turned into emotionless and stoic villains, but that's not what i'm here to talk about atm.

when it comes to why he would snap, i think it would probably have to do with feeling rejected by humanity. donnie didn't ask to be the way that he is, a mutant turtle, but he's punished for it anyway. it's probably hard for him to rationalize. a big part of his character is his insecurity about being a mutant, which is also part of the reason i think he tries so hard to get april's affections. i DO NOT condone his behavior towards april, but it does kind of prove my point here. april rejecting him, to him, confirms that he'll never be accepted by humans. again, not april's fault at all and obviously she doesn't care that donnie is a mutant, she just doesn't like him that way. but like i said, donnie is emotionally driven and it would be very easy to spiral into that line of thinking. some people say that his brothers not appreciating him or asking too much of him would make him snap, hence why they have evil donnie turn against his bros. but i don't think thag would make him evil? to donnie, his brothers are all he has. they annoy him and pick on him and get a little too entitled to his tech skills, but i doubt he'd ever be motivated to hurt them. and if, IF, by some small chance he'd turn on his bros, leo is going first LMAO

raph teases donnie a lot and says mean things sometimes, but at the end of the day, i feel like he's still closer to raph than leo. not only that, but leo is one of the main contributors to donnie's stress. there's a problem? donnie, fix it. make some invention for the team. work harder. don't you know we're all counting on you? you know how much this means to splinter. don't even get me started on the metalhead situation. leo is on screen more often than not telling donnie what he can and can't do. not to mention he can be kind of a hypocrite sometimes. he judges donnie for his obsession with april, but he's just as obsessed with karai, more often than not putting his brothers in danger for her time and time again. i hate leorai with a passion but i cannot deny that it gets brought up in the show frequently. even if you ignore the romantic implications, i would still argue that leo is a hypocrite in this situation. also, through subtext, we can kind of infer that donnie and raph are closer than donnie and leo. i also feel like raph gets got first in these aus because there's an inherent bias against his character within the fandom, but i have a video essay in the works for that.

but again, if anyone were to be the victim of villain donnie's wrath, it'd be humanity. ESPECIALLY after the don vizioso thing (which is ANOTHER thing leo is hypocritical about??? "meh meh meh donnie killing ppl is bad ur stooping to their level meh meh meh" *literally TWO OR THREE EPISODES PRIOR decapitates shredder and carves his skull from his helmet* ?????!?!?!??!!?) he'd grow frustrated with how he can't do normal things. he's punished for something he has no control over. he feels alienated. why not give them the monster people think he is?

obviously ppl can write what they want, but so can i lmao. i usually don't care if something is OOC (it's funny a lot of times tbh), especially in something like a villain au, but when it comes to the turtle bros hurting each other?? that's the one thing i CANNOT stand 💀 of course i'm not telling ppl to stop writing it, but these are just my thoughts! lol i tend to avoid those fics/aus like the plague bc of what i'm personally comfortable with but!!!! i can see how they're fun to explore

i'll probably reblog later with an evil donnie WIP i haven't touched in three months when i have my laptop on me 👍

[intheseaofred]

That’s the thing about Coronado, right? Everyone trying to get away from each other, then ending up right back together. Conrad could only hope for that to be the truth, he had spent years moving around, running not exactly away from his family, but from his reputation and the whispered voices, hoping to put some distance in between them in order for it not to affect his family. Meanwhile, his plan had succeeded but he had also managed to lose all of them. But maybe, one day his searches would bring some results and he would finally be reunited with them.

"It also depends on how much they had to drink on that day," Conrad said, a small smirk taking its shape on his lips, he meant no harm and no judgement, in a way he felt like one of them, taking trips around their boats in the early mornings, getting sea sick on his first travels only to be laughed at before being comforted. He was just stating a fact, he knew enough of them to know that most slipped more than a few drops of whiskey into their coffee first thing in the morning.

And yet, his smirk gave way to a pinkish hue, the indirect compliment was welcomed and yet still made him feel a little bit strange, Conrad had never learned how to take one, so instead he offered one back, "I doubt anyone could be as extraordinary as you, this honestly tastes like heaven" he truly could not understand how she was so talented, he knew he would soon become addicted to these baked goods, making sure to remember both the name of the café and its spot so he could come back at a later day. "A beetle, actually, it's odd, but the boss said it's urgent and I don't ask questions" he said in between bites, the best he could. He wasn't aware of details, or maybe he was supposed to know but had failed to listen to it due to his sleepy state.

His eyes follow her gaze, he truly enjoyed this day, everything seemed a little more magical, it made him remember how much he used to enjoy running around the crowds as a kid. Things were so different now. "You make it sound better than it actually might be" or maybe he was just a little bit skeptical, he had become one of those over the years and he hated it a little, "but I do think one of the fisherman might lend me their boat" he murmured more to himself than anyone else, the plan sounded good, but maybe it would be better with company "you can come too, if you want?"

Joey lets out a soft laugh, leaning against her cart’s small counter. “That’s the thing about Coronado, right? Everyone trying to get away from each other, then ending up right back together.” She brushes a light dusting of powdered sugar from her hands. “Though I have to say, the fishermen’s version makes more sense than the turtle theory. The stories change depending on which pier you visit—Row’s End sailors tell it completely different from The Wharf crews.” She straightens one of the display trays, making space for the next batch of pasteles cooling in their box. “Just a mechanic, huh? The way you say that…” Her eyes meet his briefly. “You know, my regulars who say ‘just a’ anything are usually pretty extraordinary at what they do. Paint jobs included.” She adjusts a few napkins, tucking them neatly beside the coffee dispenser. “Though I’m curious about what kind of paint job needs holiday rush treatment. Someone’s vintage Viento that absolutely has to be ready for the parade?” She glances at the morning crowd passing by, some already wearing festival clothes. “Speaking of paint—you should see what the sunrise does to the water from Row’s End pier. All these colors that don’t seem real, like someone spilled paint across the whole bay. Makes getting up early almost worth it.” She pauses, a small smile forming. “Almost.”

[cheekblush]

meeting up with a friend in an hour and just cried thinking about smth from my past..

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[risingsunresistance]

sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck

i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"

[puppppppppy]

I made a lmk oc

[orcelito]

I've been working on Finally finishing Naruto Shippuden (after being a Naruto fan for nearly 15 years), & I just finished episode 420. And I have some THOUGHTS about the "Naruto is the reincarnation of Ashura" thing. This started as just me rambling for my normal liveblog posting, but I had a LOT of thoughts about this actually, so I am presenting them to u all Now.

So. Naruto meeting the Sage of Six Paths! Cool!!! I'm finally learning about Naruto being the reincarnation of Ashura, which... honestly is not a choice that I like very much. Narratively speaking, I mean. The Point of Naruto's journey was that he was the underdog, the bottom of his class, the orphan that everyone hated and made fun of. Through hard work and perseverance, he managed to drag himself from being a complete social outcast to someone generally really loved and respected. That's compelling!!! It means a lot!!!

But then the show is like. "Oh...actually, he's the son of the fourth hokage. And Also, he's the reincarnation of the son of the literal creator of ninshuu aka the precursor of modern ninjutsu." I mind him being Minato's son less as a narrative choice (for reasons I will get into shortly), but making him Ashura's reincarnation?? I've got Several things that bug me about that.

So First, for him being Minato's son. It's not like that's ever Actually given him any sort of status (since most people don't know), & Minato was also kind of just a random guy?? Just incredibly skilled, enough so to become the 4th hokage. And then there's also Kushina, descended from a very successful and very Feared clan that ended up almost entirely killed bc of that fear. Naruto being an Uzumaki means great power, huge chakra reserves (not even including the extra chakra he gets from Kurama), & some innate skills (that Naruto mostly didn't inherit, but one can play pretend sometimes). BUT ALSO, they were almost entirely killed off. He's a survivor of his clan's genocide that happened well before he was even born, and he doesn't even REALIZE it yet. So even though being Minato's son means he's the son of a very influential person, it doesn't give him the same leverage as being a Senju or Uchiha would. And the clan he Does belong to bc of Kushina does not give him status either, bc they're almost all fuckin Dead. And we know that Minato is a Namikaze, but as for what that actually *means*.... it's basically nonexistent. There is no mention of a Namikaze clan. Minato was just a prodigy in his own right.

SO.... All that is to say that while appending Naruto's orphan story with a "well, Actually, his parents were very powerful and well respected" does discount it a little bit, it's still not Especially unique in terms of what other people in their world may experience (there are other descendants of current and/or former kage + Many other powerful clans running around) OR in the benefits that it gives him (essentially nothing, outside of his physical strength and the inheritance of Kurama himself)(which inheriting Kurama did grant him access to IMMENSE power, but it also was the source of So Much of his suffering growing up, so I think it balances out).

The "reincarnation of Ashura, son of the Sage of Six Paths" thing tho... that one really kinda does. At that point, Naruto is no longer just the orphaned son of two respected shinobi & the current jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi (something special, but not entirely original, given that there are Other jinchuuriki who are descendants of powerful shinobi). He is now something that NO ONE ELSE ALIVE can be. It is saying that He, above Everyone Else, is special in this way. Outside of Sasuke lol, but I'll touch on that in a moment.

It just feels kinda cheap. It's cool I guess, but at this point it feels like we've completely lost the Plucky Orphan who works hard to overcome his circumstances plot. It's saying that he was Always one of a kind, he was Always destined to become Someone Special (or that he was, in fact, special the whole time). It removes the importance of his hard work in the equation. It makes it so that this is no longer something he earned for himself, but rather something that was a Given, since he is, of course, Ashura's reincarnation.

Cheap. It's cheap. And I don't like it.

Then we get into Sasuke being the reincarnation of Indra. Which I haven't gotten to that yet in the show, but I know from seeing it around. I do enjoy the sun and moon aesthetic between Naruto and Sasuke (so SO much, in fact), but. Making Sasuke the reincarnation of the Other son of the Sage of Six Paths is... frustrating? In several ways. There is of course the fact that Naruto and Sasuke have such extremely gay vibes (and Always Have), so making them the reincarnations of brothers so late in the story feels like an insult to anyone who reads their relationship in that way. Which to be fair, we do see Naruto mention at a few points that he thinks of Sasuke like a brother, but it's only a few points + feels like a kind of narrative cop-out. Sasuke himself said he doesn't think of Naruto in that way (though that could also be his self-denial speaking & it could change. Haven't gotten that far yet.), & I think there are much better choices for Naruto's "brother" figure (primarily Iruka, but people like Killer Bee and any of the other konoha 12 would be fitting too). Personally, it feels like Naruto was trying to put a name to his very strong feelings for Sasuke, & since he doesn't realize being gay is an option (since Kishimoto is clearly homophobic & made this ninja society to reflect that), he settled on Brother. But Sasuke is like "what the fuck? No, my only brother is Itachi." Instead, Sasuke has called Naruto his best friend. Which also doesn't fully encompass their relationship, but it's still closer than Brother.

So here we are, Kishimoto saying around 555 episodes into the plot (only 80 more to go) that they're actually the reincarnations of brothers. And not just any brothers. THE sons of the Sage of Six Paths. Incredibly influential, incredibly powerful, two sides of the same coin and very historically significant figures. Sasuke always had the "descended from an elite, yet disgraced clan" thing going for him, so in my opinion it doesn't hold the same kind of insult to his story that it does for Naruto. But it still feels like an insult to THEIR story.

Naruto and Sasuke were just two orphan boys. Their moms were best friends, but they didn't know that. They died when they were too young. But Naruto and Sasuke still gravitated towards one another. Understood each other like no one else. And got on each other's nerves like no one else. But that irritation stemmed from their genuine admiration of each other. They wanted to be able to beat each other. They became Rivals. And it was on their own terms. No one else pushed them together. Outside of them ending up on the same team, their entire relationship was fueled by their recognition of one another, Jealousy of one another, and the simple enjoyment of being around one another. They were the ones to decide the importance of their relationship. Sasuke recognizing Naruto as his closest friend & thus thinking he was the one he had to cut off to achieve power, and Naruto recognizing Sasuke as his first peer that acknowledged him, a precious bond he finally made, and thus someone he had to cling to FIERCELY. That was all them.

But here we are. They're a reincarnated set. The sun and the moon, but Officially. One could say soulmates in a way, in a non-romantic kind of context (considering the first iteration was a pair of brothers). While this is cool from a story standpoint, it really takes some significance away from their relationship to me. It makes it less of something they chose for themselves and more of a given. Pretty much just like Naruto being Ashura's reincarnation cheapens his own story, it cheapens their relationship too.

I dont want a story about two boys who were destined to be important to each other!!!! I want a story about two orphans who just happened to become important to one another thru a series of coincidences and personal choices. In that way, their relationship gains greater gravity bc it's born from their own hearts Alone. It's Naruto moving mountains for the sake of this boy he loves, and it's Sasuke finally coming back around bc of the force of Naruto's dedication. It means so much more than the implication that they were always meant to be a pair. So I really don't like this narrative choice.

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

not to reblog that one jo post but i am special hihi

[cryolyst]

~

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[rivilu]

ok you know. the Ellu in dav crossover au is very fun but i am a little bit enchanted by the concept of him AND Rynn at once. Best of both worlds in a sense.

[thornheartless]

I would like to go one day without feeling self conscious :(

[arolesbianism]

Untold Prosperity first concept has arrived babey. Fun fact, while their actual structures were designed and constructed by different entities, Prosperity and Star’s puppets were designed by the same person!