#on multiple occasions it has tipped over into full-blown paranoia where i think everyone i see may be out to get me somehow
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I would like to go one day without feeling self conscious :(
#like i just. i'm fine!! mostly#but still i end up Anxious#they sure weren't lying that anxiety sure is disordered#idk i just think it's kinda messed up how apparently my anxiety's so bad i should potentially be on medication for it but it gets downplayed#this isn't really meant to be a vent vent i am just frustrated that i am genuinely almost always anxious to some degree#really hate when people take a “it's just anxiety” stance like sorry but it's not “just” anxiety#my ability to function in everyday life is affected severely#if i am not at college because its the holidays then it's a miracle if i leave the house more than once a week#sometimes it's a miracle if i actually leave the house at all#because my body seems to be constantly under the impression that i am about to be in danger#on multiple occasions it has tipped over into full-blown paranoia where i think everyone i see may be out to get me somehow#and that everyone i care about is just secretly waiting for the perfect opportunity to hurt me for their amusement#so yeah i kinda hate when people act like anxiety disorders are the “easy” mental illnesses because anxiety has controlled most of my life#the whole fearful-avoidant disorganised attachment thing i've got going on is fed into by my anxiety whilst also fueling my anxiety as well#the self awareness of it all is a really annoying thing too because. i know my anxiety is an irrational thing! i just can't do much about it#i try and i try but sometimes i just can't always win against my anxiety
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