#i hate him i hate him he deserves to kill himself not me

[pigeonentity]

i keep thinking about them in terms of for and against each other: thirteen's against, twelve's for, eleven i think would be against, ten's for, and i haven't watched anything before him (yeah ikk im getting to it soon. watched it w my parents the first time so its on them) so i can't speak beyond that. dhawan's against, missy's for, and simm's against. like they've all got at least a little of both but they have a general direction

twissy worked out because they both cared about each other. missy came to help the doctor when he thought he was going to die, the doctor... locked her up, but he did have good intentions. i dont think we can say spydoc worked out, but i think since they both hated each other it went smoother than it could have. and tensimm was fucking doomed (neither of them want the same thing. they want each other to be different people)

twelvesimm, which was overshadowed by twissy but still deserves a mention, i think is similar to tensimm but with time could have had a higher chance of success, since 12, i think, might have responded more to him rather than trying to push him into someone who wanted to be better. tbh it might depend on the doctor's mood that day, im a little uncertain about this one but at the very least its a vaguely more functional tensimm

thrissy would break me. thrissy would be the anti-tensimm. missy shows up, still an enemy but also always, willingly and knowingly, a friend, and this time it's the doctor who says no. who tells her to fuck off, less distrust than expected and more loathing. they fight until missy realises it's not their usual games, and the doctor's gone too far stopping her. i mean come on her master tried to have her and her companions killed but it's not like he actually did it-- but she turned him over to the fucking nazis before she even knew he destroyed gallifrey, and missy killed osgood just after the doctor offered to have her as a companion, how would 13 take that?

11missy (elmissy? elemissy? mileven? no.) would run similarly, but if we're going with her using her same plan that she used on 12... he would take the army. he would take the army, however little he trusted her. i can see it going a few ways-- she leaves or he kills her or he locks her up somewhere because he's the doctor and she's the master and that's what he does, she comes back and suggests conquering the universe together or something, he says no and they fight, he says yes because he excuses murder if it aligns with what he wants, or if he likes the person enough (look at who he married!!) and they murder across the universe and we have canon thoschei until a companion saves the universe from them or river gets jealous

11dhawan would be AMAZING they have VERY similar energy and it would be SO much fun but also-- parallels? you could do so many little parallels with that? we see them spin the same way at the same time and they hate each other but one comments on something walking down a hallway and the other comes by and says the same thing and ughhh who do i pay to make this happen??

12dhawan has a special place in my hearts and i cant completely say why i just need them to meet. i need to be there when the master shows the doctor the timeless child and he cant accept it. idk if he'd be able to go the "there's more of me!" way out that 13 did, but he might be able to half do it, in that he realises he can overload the system but they break out of there through spite. i need to be there when the doctor says that ofc burning gallifrey is wrong, but he sides with the master. they lied to us. they lied to both of us. i need to see the master's anger, because he's being forgiven again. but he's not forgiving him, it's more that he understands, or like what he said to clara-- do you really think i care for you so little that betraying me could make a difference?-- and the master doesn't know what to do with that. he is so close to being better. but he doesn't want to be. so he burns himself up

10missy would work BUT i think 10 might take the army and theyd be less functional than twissy

I FORGOT THE ONES AFTER 13 skipping 14 bc he blurs into 10 for me even though they're different, but 15 would be for and he and missy would both hurtle into "this is MY queer friends to enemies to whatever the fuck we are and i can be as weird and dramatic about it as i like" not only are they both for but they're both on the exact same level as to what their relationship is and they're so fucking weird about it it's brilliant. varies a bit depending on who missy kills but i think there's a lot of chaotic potential there

but also if the master starts being too dramatic he would just tell them to shut up. which would also be brilliant

ANYWAY if anybody writes about any of these versions PLEASE tag me i need to read about them. pigeonentity on here and ao3. please

to me thoschei is one of those dress up games where i get to mix and match different items of clothing (versions of the doctor and the master) to create stunning outfits (tragic relationship dynamics)

[wizardandpirate]

Info for my Lil' Doey AU

I don't know how much I'll do for this, I honestly wasn't planning on continuing it initially, but I want to now:] I've got at least one more art piece in the works^^

Could anyone tell me what color each kid is? Q-Q I've seen so many people putting Jack as yellow, but I could've sworn he was wearing an orange shirt when he fell in. Until I figure it out in the future I'll make Jack yellow and Matthew orange.

What is this AU?

The lil' Doey/Small Doey AU is one where, with every bit of denial I could put into it, Doey is still alive. Instead of dying, he split into the 3 children used to make him. This leads to the player finding and trying to take care of them all while looking for a way out.

How they meet

The player will have hid from Huggy for about a week I think? Which is a long time, but my excuse is the prototype enjoys the hunt too much and Poppy managed to evade him for long enough that the player wasn't a main focus.

Jack will have been secretly sneaking the player food and such, too afraid to get close.

The player would meet Matthew after being rescued by him from Huggy. He would kind of apologize, telling them they could punish him for what happened if needed, but that the other 2 don't deserve to be out there alone.

They'd meet Jack after putting the clues together he'd been leaving the food around. The poor thing would be incredibly scared, but calm down a lot upon seeing Matthew.

Kissy would find them after a bit of exploring and looking for Kevin, because how could she not be part of this family? Still needs a lot of medical attention, but would be very relieved to see you and not be alone.

Kevin would be found in a very damaged looking room, where it looks like he'd been throwing stuff around in an angry/scared tantrum. Wouldn't want to go with the player, and insist you should want to kill him.

Additional lore/ideas

Matthew would have a hard time accepting the player as a guardian figure, not understanding how to be taken care of rather than take care of. He'd have a hard time being reminded he's still a kid, that he's enough, and did his best.

Jack would be struck with the realization of what he did to his parents. Without the memories of the other two kind of mudding up what happened, he'd fully understand, having a hard time not hating himself for it.

Kevin would try so hard to hate the player and struggle so much with being cared for, appreciated, and not lied to. He would help you if it came down to it, but wouldn't want to admit he's almost comfortable.

Kissy wouldn't really know what to do, because without Poppy, trust would be hard. But I think she'd like feeling part of a family again, and not being relied on so much like she was by Poppy.

I don't know if it's canon but I hc the toys have little to no memories of who they were before, and barely understand who they are now, so the player would probably have to tell them what they know about their lives before:(

As for if they'd make it out or not... uhh, you can decide!:) I'd really only focus on their story while still trying to escape, maybe doodle a concept or two on if they'd made it out as a family. But as for now I've got no idea on if they would or not.

[yanderes-galore]

may I request a yandere concept for James Sunderland in DBD?٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

Here's the mentally unstable and depressed blonde. But in DBD. I reread the previous stuff I did for him to try and help me write him how I did before.

I'M SO MAD THE SILENT HILL 2 REMAKE ISN'T FOR XBOX YET! 😭

Here's some prompts I did for him.

Here's some Tarot HCs I did for him.

Yandere! James Sunderland (DBD) Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Murder mentioned, Jealousy, Projections, Possessive behavior, Guilt, Depression, Mentions of suicidal thoughts, Attempted murder on Darling mentioned, Denial, Manipulation, James plays victim, Forced affection mentioned, Forced relationship.

Honestly, having him as a yandere in his original universe is already bad enough.

James comes from a pretty tough place in his life.

After the death of his wife, he went to Silent Hill for either answers or clarity...

Then all of a sudden he's here, in an entirely new hell where he has to face creatures and killers beyond comprehension.

I've said this in previous posts about him, but James is extremely delusional and mentally unstable.

This is a man who killed his wife while she was dying in the hospital.

He's a man plagued with depression and has thought of ending it quite a lot.

When it comes to his obsession, he most likely sees you like he did with Mary, his wife.

He's often tormented by how much you remind him of her (regardless of gender).

This makes James conflicted enough as is.

At first, James doesn't want to admit he's falling for you.

He doesn't believe he deserves to be loved or even feel love again.

He feels panicked when he feels his cheeks warm or his chest beat faster.

He tells himself you don't even mean to make him feel this way.

You're just helping him survive, you're a survivor.

The only reason you help him is to benefit yourself.

Yet he's over here getting all bothered because you're paying attention to him.

He's pathetic and he knows it.

Despite his denial, he still feels his feelings getting stronger.

He falls fast due to how unstable he is.

Deep down James wants to chase how you make him feel.

He wants you to drown him in your everything, to make him forget about Mary.

He craves your kisses, warmth, hold, all of it.

He wants that so bad, he doesn't care how wrong any of it is.

He wants you to help him cope, but none of it is healthy.

He doesn't deserve to feel possessive or jealous.

He doesn't deserve you.

Yet isn't it human nature to want something you can't have?

James is unpredictable, always too deep in his delusions and hallucinations.

Now's not the time for any of that... You need to survive.

Unfortunately... James can't ignore the envy he feels forever.

He's aware he's a horrible person, a monster probably just as bad as all the others here.

Yet he craves you like you're his sanctuary.

James gets irritable when he sees you with other survivors.

He sometimes even hates how Mary seems to haunt him in your features.

James can never seem to cope properly.

His poor obsession is often a victim of this.

James tends to cling to his obsession.

He's either always following you or trying to pull you into tight hugs.

He's a possessive man, always muttering and asking you to forgive him.

He knows he shouldn't be doing any of this, he should leave you alone.

Yet he continues his actions, often pleading for you to forgive him until someone pries him off.

James has frequent unstable thoughts.

He plots how to harm or get rid of other survivors, even if they'll just come back.

There's even some brief delusional thoughts he has about Mary, making him target you.

It's terrifying when he pins you to a tree, hands around your neck as he calls you 'Mary'.

You're scared to die, even if it doesn't matter in this place.

James has no morals, not anymore.

James is aware of his failing mental state.

In fact... He knows how to use it.

James knows he should be ashamed of playing victim... but...

It gets you to play attention to him.

If James opens up to you, something he usually hates doing, he can garner your pity.

If he tells you about his depression... his darker thoughts... you'll comfort him.

You won't pay attention to anyone else if he steals your attention, right?

He doesn't care if he's manipulating you.

Your eyes are on him... you're holding him... you're comforting him...

He hopes you'll let him kiss your lips too, he wants to taste you.

James is a pathetic man who can't figure out what he wants.

He wants you to tend and care for him, to make him forget about Mary.

At the same time he views your presence as torture, only able to see Mary in you.

James isn't sure how much he can take.

Maybe this really is hell.

Maybe you're meant to be his torment, a worse torment compared to all the monsters in this place.

James hates it at times... but you're all he ever wants.

He's addicted to you, no matter how violent it makes him.

The others know him as a liability.

But he needs you.

Every kiss and ounce of affection... He takes it.

Even if you didn't want to give it.

James is a pathetic and selfish man.

He used to deny that, but he knows it now.

James would do anything to keep you to himself.

Manipulation, murder, it doesn't matter in the end really...

James just needs you, dead or alive...

You're his only way to cope.

[slutdge]

I dont really think ive processed just how badly my dads behavior has effected me this year its really the worst it has ever been and i think im avoiding thinking too hard about it cause i know im a danger to myself if i do lol

[beef-brisket]

Adam couldn't believe any of this was true. It couldn't be. His angel was back, and caring for him, like all of those years ago in that God forsaken garden.

But, he hasn't done anything to earn his kindness. He surely had lost any right to an apology when he came here during the first extermination, so how could he even think of accepting Lucifer's after everything he's done? He attacked Lucifer's daugnter- terrified her. Terrorised his kingdom and his people.

There's no way he's still owed an apology.

With a shaking hand, he put a spoon of soup in his mouth. He didn't even deserve this.

Lucifer watched Adam. He looked like he was in so much pain, but he refused to let Lucifer heal him, saying something about it being his punishment.

Looking out one of the many large windows in his kitchen, Lucifer could see the Pride Ring ablaze. The raging fire just added to the heat. The screams of sinners echoed far and wide.

Something was going on. Something bad.

Adam was here, but the Pride Ring was still being patrolled. Sinners were still disappearing, some returned and some didn't.

That means Abaddon was out there. But Lucifer was staring at him- at Adam. He's so lost.

Lucifer: ...Adam?

The king looked saddly at Adam when the first man tensed and stopped all movement, like he was being hunted.

He wouldn't even loon at him when he spoke: Y-Yeah- Lucifer?

Lucifer: ...Is father still getting you to punish sinners? As Abaddon?

Adam felt himself start shaking at the mere mention of the demons name. It used to be an identity he was so proud of, something be embraced. But now, it only brought him fear.

How long is it going to be until Abaddon comes back and delivers his real punishment? How long is it going to be until his father is done with Adam and demands his head? Does he even love Adam anymore? Or was Abaddon the only part God loved?

Adam: I-I... I'm not... h-him- n-not anymore- I- failed...

Lucifer: You're not...? But... he's...

Adam: Real. A-Alive... b-better than me- I was holding him back... he's... s-seperate...

Lucifer: I don't understand. Did father... when?

Adam: ...When he dragged me down... I failed him... so he threw away the useless part... k-kept the part he needed... A-Abaddon- is his own... being. And I'm just... a broken slate. Trash. Nothing... you were right... h-he threw me away... I'm too... weak. Y-You and Lilith- left me for a reason... j-just like everyone else... I'm never good enough...

Lucifer rubbed his face. He was trying to understand Adam, but everything wasn't making sense. How could God separate Adam? There weren't two beings inside him. It was just Adam. So, what did God do, exactly?

Lucifer: What do you mean, God threw away the useless part?

Adam was so tense, he felt like something would break: M-Me! All he needed was my p-pain! M-My anger! M-My... strength... I'm nothing, Lucifer. Abaddon is his own being- his own person... it's just like Eve... they took something from me- and changed it! I'm just- hurt, now. I'm just... Adam. Every trait and part no one liked... I'm... t-the off cut that no one wants...

They sat in silence before another explosion went off in the distance, making Adam scream and quickly hide under the table.

Lucifer: Adam?! What are you doing-?

Crawling under the table as well, Lucifer tried to get close to Adam, but he covered his head and quickly backed away.

Adam: N-No! He'll come for me- my sins are punishable by death-! He'll kill me- Father wants me dead! Dead! Punished! Gutted! Skinned! I'm so sorry-! For everything! W-Why make me-?! Why m-make me- if a was f-flawed?! I'm meant to be perfect- but I'm not! I'm wrong! Broken! Trash!

Adam screamed when he felt arms wrap tightly around him. He could smell Lucifer's cologne, feel his warmth, but be felt so caged in his arms. He deserved to die- mainly by Lucifer's hands. He's the only one that deserved his blood.

But he was so scared.

He hated what he's become and what he's left with. He's failed everyone, even his father, and especially Lucifer. The king should kill him, use him as proof to his father that he can punish those deserving.

But he never felt any pain. Just those strong arms holding him in a warm, comforting embrace. He didn't understand. He couldn't. How could he still deserve kindness? After the horror he's inflicted? The pain he's caused?

Lucifer: I've got you, Adam... I've got you...

-

In the second circle of the Pride Ring, they had heard rumours of what was happening in Pride, but that's all they were. Rumours.

That was until a group of imps got caught in a devastating battle between the king and... something else. Long story short, the place had gone to shit. And no hellborn wants any part in it.

So, the last thing the employees of I.M.P expected was to see a large man lounging on one of their couches.

He looked demonic and incredibly threatening. He had a playful smile when everyone froze in the doorway, but Blitzø couldn't see any good intentions behind it. In fact, if it wasn't for the fear, everyone would have run away by now.

Abaddon: Don't look so scared~! If I wanted you dead, your bodies would have hot the floor already! I'm here as a paying customer, after all. So show me some fucking respect.

Tormentor of souls au

Darkness surrounded him like a blanket. Only he was no way comfortable or felt safe. He felt fear grip him like iron as he tried to make even a sliver sense of his situation. He could barely a muscle, if he had any muscle to pull. It felt like he had nothing to move, was this what happened to the souls he exorcised? 

Were they to end up here for eternity, slowly being drove insane with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company? Adam couldn’t even try to open his mouth to speak, well he did try, but the only words that would escape from him were from within his mind. In his mind he sighed, he was just so tired, he didn’t have any strength to fight, to argue that he shouldn’t be here. Yet what exactly was the point? He’d only tire himself further out. 

He had to admit it, he was stuck here, for all eternity. Much the same as a sinner. 

That was when he saw it a flicker of light. Not just any light, a pure white light. A light that was so familiar, one that brought him joy when it spoke to him in his booming voice.

His creator 

“GREETINGS MY SON. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE LAST SPOKE TO YOU AND FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE”

Adam didn’t care he was just so thankful to be in his creator’s presence.

“MY SON I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE LIVED A LIFE OF HARDSHIP AND THAT IT DID NOT STOP EVEN WHEN YOU PERISHED.” 

He tried to not flinch at that. Thinking about his first life brought too many unpleasant memories.

“THAT IS WHY IT BRINGS ME PAIN TO ASK YOU OF THIS, BUT I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE ONCE MORE. I KNOW OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE THESE PAST FEW CENTURIES, AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT IT WAS NOT THE SOLUTION”

Adam could not believe what he was hearing. His own creator believed that they, the murderers and rapists, deserved to be redeemed!?

“HELL IS MEANT TO BE A PUNISHMENT, ETERNAL TORMENT OF THE SINS LUCIFER CORRUPTED WITH HIS WAY OF FREE WILL. HOWEVER MANY OF THEM DON’T SEE IT THAT WAY. TO THEM HELL IS MERELY A PLAYGROUND WHERE RULES NO LONGER MATTER. I HAVE SEEN TRUE MONSTROUS ACTS THE WICKED HAVE BROUGHT WITH THEM FROM LIFE. THEY CARRY IT MOST OUT ON THE TRUE CITIZENS OF HELL, THE ONES THAT HAD NO SAY IN BEING THERE OR NOT.”

The hell born, Adam thought taking in the Lord’s words

“I KNOW I AM NOT THEIR CREATOR, NOR DO THEY CALL ME FATHER, BUT I HAVE HEARD THEIR PLEAS FOR HELP TO BE SAVED FROM THE ACTS OF THE WICKED, OF ALL WICKED. UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BORN DOWN THERE, BUT I CAN STOP THE SINNERS FROM HURTING THEM AND THAT IS WHERE I NEED YOUR HELP”

Adam had never put much thought into the hellborn. To him they were simply there and as long as they got in his way during the exterminations they weren’t a problem. There was the princess, but he didn’t really count her. He was curious however as to what the Lord wanted him to do.

“THE SINNERS NEED PUNISHMENT, AND THE HELL BORN NEED PROTECTION. YOU CAN BE THEIR PROTECTOR BY BECOMING THE PUNISHER.”

 With a simple snap of his creator’s fingers Adam felt something shift within him, in his very essence he changed. A warm feeling engulfed him whole and then he knew no more.

((Oh shit- I love everything about this! God needs to fuck off and let our boy rest!

Sorry this took me a hot second to get to- and I hope my reply does yours justice 😝))

Charlie is in full work mode and has been since the failed extermination ended. Since finding out Sir Pentious ended up in Heaven.

For months, she had been working hard. It was so hard that she somehow missed the latest gossip going around the Pride Ring.

Sinners ending up missing, only to resurface months later completely different. Scared. Traumatized.

Many didn't think much of it. This is Hell. There's always some crazy bastard out there doing shit.

But, it was when they became too scared to even function, too scared to ever be normal again, too scared that they would rather turn an angelic blade on themselves than to live with the possibility of going through whatever it is they've gone through.

Charlie was actually getting quite concerned. Especially when she heard Angel talking about it one night at Husks bar.

Angel: I fucking tell ya, kitty. People a shit scared. I've never seen the clubs so empty!

Husk shook his head: Must be the worst of the worst, huh?

Angel scoffed, downing his drink: Nah, babe. It's something else. It ain't no sinner.

Husk: Hellborn?

Angel: Those guys are freaky. Don't get me wrong, but their not THAT freaky. I had a client who said he was taken for three months. Three. That's fucking child's play. But the shit he said happened to him... fucking skinning, to pouring acid down his throat. Fuck mam, the sick ficker even dug around I'm his muscle and tendons!

Angel shook his head: There's something going on... even Val has lowered the workload.

Husk: Pft. Fuck. That's how you know it's serious.

Angel: Damn fucking right.

Charlie stood at the top of the stairs, listening to Angel's story. She was shocked but not surprised. She wasn't sure why this person has the sinners so scared, but sury it's nothing new.

She probably should make sure Al isn't behind this. She's only heard a few tales of his exploits so she wouldn't put it past him.

-

Alastor: Hm. So you've heard the rumors, too. While I'm flattered, I don't appreciate being confronted in such a way.

Vaggie: Just- fucking answer her, Alastor.

Alastor sighed, leaning on his cane: No, it's not me. I've been too busy here! And my kills stay dead when I'm finishing them~.

Charlie wasn't sure if she liked that answer, but it was good enough.

She apologized to Alastor, ams watched him leave.

Vaggie: ...I don't know, Charlie.

Charlie: I don't know either...

Vaggie: I'm sure it's nothing. Besides, you have more important things to deal with here, hun. You shouldn't get mixed up in sinner issues.

Charlie sighed: I know. I just... surely, it's a coincidence that this starts after the failed extermination... that was my fault. Simmered died because of me- I put my friends in danger! I feel like I owe it to everyone to at least try and solve it.

Vaggie smiled and pulled her girlfriend onto a soft hug.

Vaggie: I know you feel like that, hun. But you don't owe anyone anything... besides, if it's that bad, you could just ask Lucifer. He said he was looking for something to do.

Charlie: Hm... that's... a good idea, actually! I'll get dad on the case!

-

Lucifer: Me on the what now? Charlie, why should I care about whatever is going on with those sinners? Their... you know... sinners.

Charlie: Dad, please? Our guests are sinners. We need them to be safe. So please. Look into this for me? Even just a little bit?

Lucifer sighed. He really didn't want to do this. But, seeing the hopeful, pleading look on his daughters face, eventually changed his mind.

Charlie: Oh- thank you, dad, thank you!

Lucifer smiled as Charlie pulled into a hug. But when she felt and heard his back crack, she slowly put him down.

Charlie: S-Sorry dad!

Lucifer laughed through the pain: It's okay, Charlie - nothing I can't handle! I-I better start hunting a... whatever the fuck this is!

[vaguely-concerned]

from what I infer from some of his dialogue, my guess is that while lucanis hasn't had a proper relationship before he has had one night stands and short term flings. and -- listen, I know he's a dick and a menace and probably a hopeless case but please do still spare illario dellamorte a moment of your thoughts and pity for the role of incredulous yet intrepid wing man that he's all but certainly had to play on several occasions for that to happen. there are 100% people out there who were trying SO fucking hard to get no strings attached laid by this stupidly hot emotionally unavailable mysterious stranger who won't be in town for long without lucanis ever realizing it. people who would have remained tragically unlaid if illario weren't there to clue him in.

I'm just imagining Illario staring in pure dismay and disbelief at his dumbass of a cousin failing to pick up what someone isn't just putting down but scattering all over the floor like glittery confetti burning with a magnesium flame brightness to spell out 'SIR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RAIL ME THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ENTHUSIASTIC INVITATION TO MY BED' and having to push him out the door after them like 'maker's breath sometimes i don't understand how you have the wits to grip the right end of a knife, lucanis, they were throwing themselves at you and you just stared at them in mild puzzlement until they gave up and went away go fucking GET THEM for the sake of my sanity if nothing else!!!'

[thedevilandhisgrandmother]

Just finished reading house of Hades

Emotional trauma galore

[mamawasatesttube]

thinking abt kon getting hurt/upset about something big and clark bundling him up in his cape... ouuhhhhh souperfam save me...

[beef-brisket]

Adam leaned into the kiss for only a moment before he quickly moved away, and jumped off the bed.

Adam: Y-You know, out of all the shit you've said to me- that's the worst- most c-cruel thing-! The fuck, Lucifer?! I'm not hot- so the fuck?! The ACTUAL fuck?!

Lucifer was a bit taken aback, but he's not surprised by Adam's outburst. He's pretty much a giant, glorified child at this point.

But, he did find it a bit strange that what Adam was made about was pretty much being called "hot".

Lucifer thought that was his whole thing, calling himself hot, and fuckable. So, what was happening?

Lucifer: I... okay, hold up. Let's take a step back. What's happening?

Adam: W-What do you mean, "what's happening"?! I- you- you said I let myself go-! And I have-! So, how the fuck am I hot one minute- and f-fucking disgusting the next?!

Lucifer: I... A-Adam-.

Adam: So what, have you teamed up with Bambi or something?! Is this the worst fucking joke, Lucifer-! I know I. Fucking gross, alright?! I've delt with the angels- amd Sera- fucking Sera, say I'm a fuckimg embarrassment- just- I-I can't fucking deal with this.

Lucifer: Adam! Wait!

Lucifer reached out and grabbed Adam's arm, stopping him from leaving. He could feel how much the first man was shaking under his grip, and by the way he turned his head away, he was crying.

Lucifer: Adam, I swear, I'm not lying. I shouldn't have said those things to you, I was just... look, I was wrong, so wrong. You look amazing, really. You were made to be perfect, Adam-.

Adam: Lilith's perfect. I'm not... I'm a fucking dud. Even after everything, they still preferred her... n-no matter what I did, it wasn't enough... I-I'm not perfect, I never was... c-can you let go, please...?

Lucifer stared at Adam's back in shock, he's never heard him sound so quiet and weak. He didn't like it. He'd rather Adam yell and scream, instead of this.

Lucifer: No... I won't let go.

Standing, Lucifer went to move in front of Adam, but he turned away, covering his face.

Lucifer: I swear, I'm not lying, Adam. And you didn't deserve the shot you went through... I thought Heaven would have helped you or something. But that was just wishful thinking... they can't help but make things worse... and that goes for me, too. I hurt you, and I refuse to do it again.

Taking Adam's hands, Lucifer was finally able to see a part of Adam's face. He hasn't seen Adam cry since Eden. And it hurt to see as much now as it did then.

Lucifer: I... can't even imagine what Heaven has said or done to you. But you didn't deserve it, Adam.

Adam scoffed: ...You sound like her.

Lucifer: Who?

Adam: ...Charlie... how did you two assholes have such a sweet kid...?

Lucifer laughed: No idea... can I tell you a secret?

Adam: ...I guess. If you want.

Lucifer looked down at Adam's hands, smiling at the chipped black nail polish. He remembered laughing at the different ways Adam tried to disguise his new demonic features. His claws included.

Lucifer: She reminded me of you... she still does.

Adam: ...I'm not like her. She's... hopeful. I'm not that...

Lucifer: ...When she smiled, I saw you. She was so curious and wanted to see and touch everything. She sees the best in everything... it takes a lot to bring her down... and... I don't want her to get hurt and... end up-.

Adam: Like me?

Lucifer: What-?! I... y-yeah- but not for the reasons you think! I meant... I don't want her hurt. For people to use her- to take her for all she's worth, then to throw her away like she's nothing... I don't want her to end up closed off and ridiculed. And, when I see you... I hate that I was the cause of your pain. I couldn't get out of my own shit to see how I was affecting you or other people. When I see you, I feel shame. You're the only thing I regret about my actions. it is how I hurt you. You're... you're so important to me, and I just...

Adam: killed me...?

Lucifer: ...K-Killed you... and... I regret that so much.

Adam nods, looking away: It wasn't all your fault... I wasn't... you know, important enough, ans that was my fault- I should have tried harder-.

Lucifer: Hey, no. That's- that's not it, Adam, I swear.

Adam tilted his head: I wasn't... smart enough?

Lucifer: No-.

Adam: ...I'm not blonde?

Lucifer: What-?! No! Of course not!

Adam: Okay... can't give birth?

Lucifer: Uh-.

Adam: Ambitious? I didn't know... what else.

Lucifer: ...Is this what you've thought...? For all these years...?

Adam shrugged: I couldn't figure out what I did. Or what I didn't do... I just figured out it was me. I did everything wrong, nothing right, so why try? And... then you kiss me. Why now? I'm broken- why didn't you do this when I was perfect, when I was something important? Why now...? I was nothing when I was an angel, but I'm something when I'm a monster?

Lucifer: Adam. Stop. That's not it.

Adam laughed: Then what is it? How can you feel something for me when I'm at my lowest...? You don't even know me.

Lucifer: Of course, I know you, I've known you since the beginning.

Adam: I'm not the same person... I died. More than twice. I'm not the same. I'm worse. You can't like me, why would you like me? No one likes me- you of all people can't like me- you're lying to me.

Lucifer: Adam- enough. Breathe, okay. I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I... it... it wasn't your fault. In the garden.

Adam: Yes, it was. You told me to leave, remember? Said I was sick, wrong, a failed prototype-.

Lucifer was definitely panicking now. He forgot he said any of those things. Everything flooded back to him, hitting him like a brick to the face.

Lucifer: Please, Adam- I... shit, I don't know what to say... I can blame you for the exterminations all I want, but at the end of the day, it's my fault. All of it. I've made so many mistakes, Adam... and hurting you was the biggest. None of it was your fault, what I did... what Lilith did was wrong. We were so stuck I'm our ideals and our plan that we didn't see the bigger picture. I... I didn't want to hurt you... I really thought we were helping. I wanted to help both of you... but Lilith was focused on herself. Then Eve.

Lucifer ran his thumb over Adam's hands. He smiled at how long his fingers were, even though they looked so different, they were so perfect.

Lucifer: So much has changed since Eden, and... while not all for the best, there have been some good things- I think. I've had a lot of time to thing- a LOT. And I want to make it up to you. I really, really do. And I meant what I said before. You're fucking hot, Adam. Gorgeous. I know you think you're a monster- but I think you're stunning. And fuck Bambi, I don't talk to him, Adam, I'm nit working with him in some scheme, and I hate you think that. That you think everyone is against you, thinking those about you. I want to convince you that you deserve to be loved, that you're still perfect. Please, Adam. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please let me try and earn your trust again.

Adam stared down at Lucifer. Everything is screaming at him to run and run far.

What if he leaves? Of course, he'll leave. It'll only be a matter of time. But, staring into Lucifer's eyes, he can't help but see his angel, even though he's so different.

Does he want his angel back or proof that he could be loved?

Adam glanced at the two photos on the bed. Did Lucifer mean what he said? That he looked hot?

Adam: ...O-Okay...

Lucifer smiled widely and kissed Adam's hands: Thank you, Adam. Thank you so much, Adam!

Adam smiled awkwardly as Lucifer beamed up at him. He was like a weird, little ball of sunshine. Or hellfire.

Lucifer: So~... can I keep your photo~?

Adam: W-What?!

Lucifer: You can keep mine!

Adam: ...F-Fine, just... don't show it to anyone, okay?

Lucifer: Oh, darling, I would destroy anyone who dares to try and lay eyes on it~.

Pin Me (To Your Bed)

@beef-brisket

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! 💖

-

Charlie was so excited to help Angel set up his idea, it was a great way to help people with their body image and self confidence.

Adam was leaning against the wall as he watched the photo shoot area be set up. Angel wanted everyone to do a pin up photo shoot for Valentine's Day to help their self-esteem and feel sexy.

Angel: Hey mister pouty pants, come help me with the outfits.

Adam sighed and made his way over, the clothing rack held many linguire outfits, short shorts, and leather pieces of clothing.

Adam: Angel, I've seen tissues bigger than this thing.

He held up what looked like a G string and Angel laughed.

Angel: Oh relax! And it's all in fun big guy, besides if you wore something sexy who's to say short, pale, and hunky won't be all over you.~

Adam flushed, he knew it was a bad idea to tell Angel about his feelings for Lucifer. But as long as the short King doesn't hear he guessed it was fine.

Adam: Shut up.

Speaking of Lucifer, he was just done hanging the lights when he floated down smiling at the pair.

Lucifer: Those are umm.... Interesting outfits Angel.

Angel: Aren't they?~ You're dressing up too aren't ya short King?

Lucifer coughed into his fist: W-Well, maybe. I have an image to maintain I can't wear anything too scandalous. You understand.

Adam tried and failed to not picture Lucifer only wearing that G string that would barely cover his dick.

Angel smirked: Oh yeah of course.~ I'll make it all very tasteful for everyone, all within a comfort zone they like. But how about you show a little skin? Like right here.~

He pointed to his stomach area and Lucifer felt warm, he looked at Adam who was looking at him maybe zoned out. Would he like that?

Lucifer: Y-yeah I guess that's fine.

[shannonsketches]

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

[notacatdown]

yes and no. they definitely shouldve had one, but how things flow in the drama (i didnt read the novel so feel free to educate me!), between all that happens in ep 7 and ep 8, it almost felt like there was no time for that to happen. if anything, maybe instead of his percent going up from being jealous of seeing her with fuyi, they couldve done something there, but the version of ziqi theyre trying to portray is one who is already beginning to like her romantically, skipping over the friendship part and just wanting to Be Together. like a desperate lovesick puppy

I figure ep 9 is a better place to respond than your ep 4 rewatch because it's here that Miaomiao says Mu Sheng should go see a therapist. The drama keeps a lot of the novel's dialogue about how Mu Sheng sees himself (he's tired of his life, he thinks that his death is the ideal solution to everything, he believes that his only purpose in life is to protect Mu Yao, etc), but it doesn't go into detail. How does a person with such deep loathing for himself and suicidal tendencies behave?

In the novel, the moment when he realizes how much he wants her affection and her warmth, he instinctively wants to kill that desire for self-protection. He believes that he's a monster and only a saint like Mu Yao will care about him. He fears rejection and believes that it's inevitable, so he wants to get rid of her. But at the same time, he really wants her attention and gets upset when she ignores him. The more he likes her, the more he gets scared of what he thinks will happen. He doesn't have the sense of security to want to enter a romantic relationship yet.

(Whereas in ep 8, it seems as if Miaomiao had said she likes him instead of saying she cares about him because she's his disciple, he wouldn't try to send her away. His fear is that she will reveal his secret to Mu Yao.)

He hates himself, so he keep sabotaging his relationships. He has to believe he's deserving of love and friendship to stop pushing her away. And even then, healthy behavior isn't the absence of bad behavior. It's a completely new set of behavior that happy people learn from their interactions with parents as children. For a person like Mu Sheng, who didn't come from a happy family, he has to learn it as an adult from Miaomiao.

We can sort of see this in the drama too when Mu Sheng says he doesn't like to argue with Mu Yao in ep 4. 

I really like how you phrased his mindset in that moment "placating her and telling her he doesn't like arguing with her, that sister knows best, just because he can't deal with hearing her say these hurtful things anymore, and he cant handle it if his sister has such a negative view of him, all while hes trying to smile. its genuinely hurting him internally, as we see in a moment. "

In the novel scenes where he thinks/says those lines, he's innocent of what Mu Yao is accusing him of even though it looks incriminating. Mu Yao gives him time to explain, but he doesn't want to. He wants the conversation to end as fast as possible. As the readers, we can see that this sort of misunderstanding has happened so many times in the past and shaped Mu Yao's view of him, but she still asks him. She desperately wants him to be innocent, but he's so stuck in his negative emotions that he can't see this.

"if you think it was me, then it was me." This new line and his expression when he says this is so perfect for how Mu Sheng views himself in the novel. His self-esteem is a house of cards shakily propped up by how Mu Yao and Miaomiao view him. He places Mu Yao and Miaomiao on a pedestal, and I like how the novel shows this places an unfair burden on Mu Yao and Miaomiao. I don't think this aspect is shown in the drama.

Anyways, I like that we get to see a different take on their relationship in the drama. I just wish the drama spent more time on it, especially their relationship as fan/reader and author.

—

since mu sheng is xia ziqi's self-insert, who does that make yao (not that she has to be a specific someone, i just mean does she stem from somewhere)? 

I viewed it as this is how a teenage boy would write an empowered woman. Except for a few scenes closely adapted from the novel, she doesn't have emotional fragility. I love that scene where Mu Yao is the only one not affected by the water demon's deepest fear trap, so its not that I want her changed. More like, it would be interesting to see her change. For example, if she had rethought her view on what a hero should be like after meeting Guo Xiu.

On a side note, that Mu Sheng would say he's not a member of the Mu clan and only Mu Yao's brother would imply he was treated badly. Do Mu Yao and Mu Sheng ever talk about this in the drama?

In the novel, Fu Zhou is a female author, has no connection to Mu Sheng, and the story is not a dream. So, the characters that a teenage boy writes would be different from the characters that a woman would write. It would have been interesting to see the female protagonists that Fu Zhou writes as an adult. I'm curious how Fu Zhou would portray Mu Yao in his revised version. I think she would be more nuanced.

The drama removes three female characters (Lin Yu's aunt, Mu Yao's biological mother, and Mu Yao's father's legal wife) and adds four male characters and one female character (Cuicui, Guo Xiu, the marquis, Liu Fuyi's master, and Liu-niang). The novel's final mystery arc is female-centric. It can be viewed as a tale of four mothers, the sacrifices they've made, and how that shaped their children in a patriarchal society part 2. 

(Which sounds depressing, but it's being revealed during the happiest time in Mu Sheng and Mu Yao's lives. Their childhoods sucked, but they met people that love them and helped them walk out the shadows of their childhood, and their future will be so happy. I think this is why the author chose to reveal their parents' stories this way.)

Although I want to protest about screenwriters that change female-centric novels to focus on the male protagonist in xianxia drama adaptations, it wouldn't make sense that a teenage boy would write that type of story. He doesn't understand how women think or how motherhood changes and impacts women.

"again, i think miaomiao is disregarding that this is a parallel universe, since she just sees it as the book's world and everyone is pretend, so venting like this, especially to ziqi, is not something that she has to hesitate about. they dont understand, and they dont fully question her, so why not speak to them as if they arent real people? at this point in the series, thats still how she sees them."

When I rewatch the part where she's sharing her vulnerable thoughts to him, I wish we could have gotten a scene where they're themselves with their memories intact and continued this conversation. It would have been such a good resolution! We never get to see them on the same page. We find out that Catching Demons is like a love letter to Miaomiao, but Miaomiao doesn't know that. I feel like I went to a restaurant, patiently waited for the chef to cook, enjoyed tasting while waiting, and right after the splendid meal was about to be served, the restaurant closed and takeout wasn't allowed.

"i like that after 5 years of traveling together the name ziqi has not come up once."

Lol. Shows that Mu Sheng has no friends T.T Strangers would call him Mu-gongzi/Young Master Mu to be polite. Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi call him Ah'Sheng. His mom calls him Sheng'er. In the novel, Miaomiao is the only one that calls him by Mu Sheng or Ziqi. I like that the marquis refers to him as that Ziqi guy because that's how he hears Miaomiao's address for Mu Sheng. That was a nice detail.

and yes, miaomiao has clearly changed a lot in the story, yet with how she is supposed to escape, the system will still ensure that she gets through it similarly, since she HAS to defeat the resentful woman, so the story has to continue,

I keep forgetting the system gives her two goals in the drama. I think this is because we only see Miaomiao working on Mu Sheng's favorability % and Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi's relationship. Let me know if I'm wrong or if I miss something. In the novel, she works on finding out more about the final boss and increasing her fighting ability to prepare for the ending throughout the story.

—

When I was re-watching the drama, I noticed how the omission of very minor details changed how I view Miaomiao. For example, in the novel, when Mu Sheng sticks the immobilizing charm on her to snatch Liu Fuyi's sachet from her, MiaoMiao's first thought is on the charm, how cool and useful it is. She asks him for one. It shows that she cares more about the demon hunter world and planning for future dangers over Mu Sheng and his petty behavior.

but hes so annoyed LOL. using a control talisman because HE WANTS THAT DANG IT. no hesitation at ALL.

ahhhhhh looking at the sachet for a moment and then her as he goes to grab it. he wants to intimidate and tease her so badlyyyyyyy

Oh Mu Sheng, if only you kept this jealous behavior and ripped off the love bracelet. What was the point of testing the bracelet? He should have just yanked the bracelet off. It's like seeing people on fire and not wanting to get close to them to throw water over them because they're naked. In an emergency situation, there is an exemption for everyday politeness.

In a magical world where a single talisman can make someone execute a complicated action and one person has the power to alter the memories of an entire village for years on end, and there's no magical way to check, an experienced demon hunter like Mu Sheng should have basic safety protocols. If she isn't acting like herself, the first step should be to strip her down to make sure there's no hidden magical item and question her to pinpoint when their memory or behavior changed.

and how he looks surprised "its a sachet" / "doesnt it look like that?" my guy what skills do you possess besides being super hot? because idk i havent quite seen them

Lol. Is it clear in the drama that he's terrible because this is the first time he's made a protective sachet? In the novel, the first ones that he offers Miaomiao are three lumpy bags crammed with talismans. A protective sachet normally has ONE talisman. He stayed up after their 5-in-a-row games to make them. Gets rejected by Miaomiao. Later on, he forcefully gives her one that's just as nice as Liu Fuyi's. Presumably, he's been secretly working on perfecting his sachet making skills.

crossing his armmmmssss i LOVE how much he does that and how LITTLE fuyi does it. like absolute foils for each other. wait. are mu sheng and liu fuyi supposed to be two sides of ziqi? ive considered it but i dont know. blah, i dont want to talk about this right now, so many of you are much better at this than i am.

This would have been so interesting for the drama to explore! What does it mean that Fu Zhou had Mu Sheng marry Lin Yu (a woman that was in love with Liu Fuyi? Just a way to torture himself? I wish we got to see them interact more beyond that drinking their sorrows away scene.

Early on in the novel, Mu Sheng has a one-sided competition going on with Liu Fuyi. Liu Fuyi is oblivious to this. As he likes himself more, he does this less. By the final story arc, he doesn't react negatively when Liu Fuyi consoles him about something. He still gets jealous of Liu Fuyi, but he recognizes that it's his problem and that it isn't okay to act out his jealousy. Mu Sheng's precious character growth!

hes just so pretty, even blurred. AND SO IS YAO. mu siblings gorgeous genes even tho theyre not blood-related.

Pretty fan art of these three from xiaohongshu.

i find that on rewatch, i like cuicui less and less? i had no problem with him on my first watch, and he doesnt even do anything wrong. i think i just found it grating to go through his scenes again LOL. like goddammit just give me the romance and action!

My tipping point for Cuicui was ep 21. I wish we could have seen Miaomiao supporting Mu Sheng after he spits out blood during the battle scene instead of having to hold a 150-year old bamboo demon. It would make sense that CuiCui was stuck in his original form because of the pressure of the formation. His role is to help push them together, but he's always standing between them and literally keeping them apart. I can see why fans are so upset about his character on Weibo and Douban.

(Feel free to ignore this ranting. Got carried away. I get so annoyed whenever I think about this. 

Ep 23 was the final straw. I watch the drama at 2x speed in any scene he's in. In the novel, we have Miaomiao idly playing with Mu Sheng's hair and him getting super flustered. She handfeeds him her snacks or any food that she enjoys with him, but it has now become the exclusive-privilege of Cuicui.

In the last third of the novel, even when she's talking to someone else, she notices when Mu Sheng is sad. She has become as sensitive to him as he is to her. She reaches out to hold his hand when he sits down next to her. She half-hugs him and holds his hands to make dumplings. Just little moments.

Instead, we have this in the drama:

In ep 14, Mu Sheng walks away because he's upset and jealous. After a similar situation in the novel, MiaoMiao drank a bit to get courage and went to Mu Sheng's room to apologize for poking at his sore spot. She ends up drinking way too much. After she apologizes, she rambles on that she's worried about him. That he should like someone like her. That he would be happy with her. That she would pamper him. She kisses him on the cheek and then tries to wipe her rouge off his cheek. This is how Mu Sheng knows that Miaomiao likes him.

How did they go from this to needing a 10-year old child to progress their relationship? Cuicui spilling Miaomiao's crush to Mu Sheng even though she told him not to.)

Sorry, this got too long. I've never felt so frustrated by any drama character before. More than any other reason, Cuicui is the reason why I only re-watch up to ep 8. I was curious to read your thoughts on ep 9 because you've pointed out so many things I missed, so I continued. I can just scroll past the Cuicui parts.

THE STUNNED LOOK ON HIS FACE LMAO. hes like "what did i do? did i do something wrong?" but then hes thinking "she is way too upset about this. what is wrong with her?"

i think she also feels very, again, shy over this whole thing, because of the meaning of putting a ring on her finger in her world, and wants an excuse to get it off. which is why she asks for his demon staff. 

ziqi is so unserious. like not only does he not want to indulge in an emotional convo but he also has to pick on her and take personal offense.

miaomiao only taking fuyis hand. yeah thats on purpose.

say what youd like but i think he stares at her chest because he wants to confront her by looking at her face but cant, so he settles for that, then perhaps realizes that its inappropriate, so he looks back down. im just reading into things, thats what i do here.

Your observations are so fun to read! Would add a star to this drama's rating for it. Thank you for sharing!

lgief rewatch ep. 9

yay ep 9! lots of shy ziqi AND miaomiao moments~ thats basically most of what this episode is to me minus the few times miaomiao discusses her world/CD world and the novel storyline.

if youd like to discuss lgief, feel free to send me asks, chats, or reply to any of these posts.

ep 1 / ep 2 / ep 3 / ep 4 pre-festival / ep 4 festival / ep 5, 5 part 2 / ep 6 / ep 7 / ep 8 / ep 9

following up to the ending of ep 8, we see ziqi STILL HOLDING HER HAND after putting on the ring.

and when miaomiao rips her hand away, hes like "wtf?"

did they put rings on fingers back then for marriage (yes im too lazy to look it up, sue me)? regardless, this feels like, even if it is, ziqi is clueless regardless, because he has no romantic awareness.

he purses his lips because he feels like hes committed some faux pax, but he doesnt know what, so he has to ask. the way he asks is so gentle, he really wants to know ;_;

miaomiao doesnt wanna tell! i think she was truly feeling some attraction towards him in this moment, but shes shy, and if she tried to tell him, hed make fun of her, or he wouldnt get it.

THE STUNNED LOOK ON HIS FACE LMAO. hes like "what did i do? did i do something wrong?" but then hes thinking "she is way too upset about this. what is wrong with her?" and maybe he also, though this is just me making things up, felt some sort of jamais vu, perhaps.

cut to her feeling like shes just gotta drop it now because hes watching her and sent her here to practice.

he looks. so good.

LOL its so funny she says she doesnt think its as good as the ladle when it very clearly is. i think she just wanted to get out of training here.

the way that as SOON as she hears him take in a breath she says "dont call me stupid" and she can barely look him in the eye when she says that. hes so cute for obliging.

i think she also feels very, again, shy over this whole thing, because of the meaning of putting a ring on her finger in her world, and wants an excuse to get it off. which is why she asks for his demon staff. the way she shuffles over is so fucking funny. oh miaomiao, never change.

fully reblogged ver here

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[illegiblehandwriting1]

frankly i think the best way to differentiate fanon sky and canon sky is to take a look at groose's redemption arc. both forgive him for the bullying but fanon sky says "he didn't mean it!" Canon sky says "i deserved it"

(for reference, canon sky is sky as shown in the game/inferred directly from sksw)

[thenameisgul]

Dean Winchester’s daddy issues are so personal to me and I loved LOVED that dean raised sam and was always there for him, protected him, sheltered him.

He was a better father to sam then John was to him and he broke that cycle of abuse. He raised sam better than he was raised

So imagine my absolute sadness when they threw all that development away just to make dean treat Jack exactly how John treated him (sometimes even worse)

Dean was toxic, insensitive and verbally abusive to Jack and if they really wanted us to see him as one of Jack’s dads there should’ve been a redemption arc. But there wasn’t, so no matter how much I love destiel I’m only ever inclined to see dean as jack’s dad’s boyfriend. Thankyou.

[ctrl-lupin]

Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)

I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.

-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-

In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.

Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.

Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.

Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).

The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).

After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.

I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.

Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.

No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.