#i hate hate hate being in between fandoms because it makes coping with life way harder

[fncreature]

god i miss ethan hunt

[bowl-of-brain-worms]

im so deep in the dungeon meshi sludge man. im having those late night thoughts you should NOT listen to yknow? but im finding more and more parallels between myself and laios and Bro. I Dont Want That.

not because i hate him, i love that guy. hes so sweet and good and silly. but like. real talk. the way fandom treats him drives me insane and i think its BECAUSE of his relatability.

fans treat laios like hes dumb. "he doesnt know what sex is! hes so oblivious to everything around him! hes a drop out! hes a baby!" My Brother In Christ, he is a biologist. hes explicitly talks about the possible mating habits of living armor. the way he tied thistle to his back definitely aint the way you tie a christmas ham if you know what im saying. he dropped out - not because hes stupid - but because he didnt have the correct accomadations and honestly pretty dogshit coping mechanisms.

does he have trouble with recognizing the feelings of people around him? absolutely! but that doesnt make him dumb!! hes constantly shown to be able to think on his feet and come up with clever solutions to the problems he and the party faces. hes impulsive and doesnt think things through all the time, sure (eating raw parasite for example) but it geniunely pisses me off that people immedietly write off all the intelligent decisions he makes beyond that.

being a drop out doesnt make you stupid. being bad at talking doesnt make you stupid. needing help in certain aspects of your life (in laios' case, social skills) does not make you stupid. its something that i have to tell myself too often and seeing the fandom fall into the same unconcious cruelty of believing someone to be stupid against all contrary evidence is. idk. disheartening i guess. but also maddening.

on a lighter note, i dont think laios is a monsterfucker. hes just a furry. i will not be taking questions.

[atlasofoverthinking]

dare i say that neito monoma would have been a great protagonist?

i feel like the fandom either hate or love monoma, and i'm not ashamed to say i love him. he's probably one of my favorite characters amongst the students

so allow me to yap about how i feel a monoma-centric rewriting of mha would go

it would have the same start as the canon focused on izuku. monoma learns early in life that quirks have a huge impact on the way people see you but he decides to become a hero anyway.

the story would focus on monoma accepting he cannot become a hero like All Might (or the most popular ones in general), that he has to use his own tricks despite how unheroics they may seem. it would put an emphasis on monoma's inferiority complex. he literally describes himself as a 'background character' (or something like that). then you'd also have the whole dynamic of neito having a quirk considered weak/useless/villainous and having to prove his worth to both himself and his classmates (that would be interesting if he was fighting against Todoroki or Bakugou).

Shinsou would be an important part of the story too because i love him and i wish we'd seen more of their dynamic.

and don't even get me started on monoma making fun of 1A. I feel like this could make an interesting point on unhealthy coping mecanisms. like, you just need vlad king (who would be the parental figure™ of the story) telling monoma that putting other down won't help him in the long run, that he needs to focus on himself and that popularity doesn't matter in high school (it sounds like shit but trust me it has potential). and then bam (pun intended) you get a parallelism with bakugou who's also working on himself.

as the story goes, monoma learns to trust his classmates and work with them. he accepts he needs others to succeed (yk the whole power of friendship team) and is proud to be alongside his classmates and friends during fights.

monoma canonically struggles with his grades, which could be an important theme related to his self-worth issues (like, he's the only one who failed the midterms so he feels bad bc he feels like he doesn't deserve his place in the hero course)

and last but not least, you could even draw a parallel between him and afo: afo steals quirks, and so does monoma. the only diference being that monoma is doing this to help people and works with others.

anyways, i love him 🩷

[lover-of-mine]

The thing I find fascinating is that the show runners are fully capable of writing engaging couples. Henren, Bathena & Madney – their relationships are beautiful. And then we have Buck and Eddie with their respective LIs. It’s almost as if they want the relationships to fail.

This season, they had every chance to set up Tommy as a suitable LI for Buck. But they didn’t? They didn’t even have to show a grand love confession or the likes, but at least some small gestures. Them holding hands in the hospital, Tommy dressing up for the bachelor party, being a little more sensitive when they ran into Eddie during that first date… Just a few simple things that would have made all the difference.

I feel like most of the love for Tommy comes from headcanons the fandom accepted as universal truths, while there isn’t much in canon to support it.

This isn’t meant to be hate on the character (though it probably will be taken that way by certain people), it’s just that I don’t think he is a good fit for Buck. He’s guarded and deflects with a dry sense of humor, when Buck needs a person to be vulnerable with. You know, someone who is so soft and sickeningly sweet with him. So far, I didn’t get much of the sorts from Tommy. But then again, we didn’t get to see a whole lot of the relationship actually playing out on screen, so who knows.

And the other thing that started to bother me is about the daddy issue thing. There is nothing wrong with showing (or alluding to) a couple having an active/kinky sex life. In general, I’m all in favor of it.

But looking back at season one, Buck used sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism to feel a connection to people. And he doesn’t have the best relationship with sex to begin with (Remember 7x05 and the talk with Eddie, where it hadn’t occurred to either of them that saying no is an option? Doesn’t sound healthy to me.) If they wanted to set Tommy apart, they should have put all their efforts into building an emotional connection between the two. I’m not saying that sex can’t be a part of it - not even that it can’t be kinky - but that the show should have put much more emphasis on the emotional aspect of it rather than the physical attraction.

Maybe it’s just wonky writing due to a shortened season but the relationship between the two isn’t half as good as it could have been.

No, but I made a post about this during the s6-7 hiatus, because it's not like the show doesn't know how to establish a love interest, bathena and madney work because all of them exist individually and Henren was introduced to us in a way where we would side with Karen, so even tho Karen only exists to be Hen's wife we care about her in a deeper way because Karen has never done anything wrong in her life. With Buck and Eddie all of the love interests are presented to us with something wrong with them. Shannon never had a fighting chance because she left and Eddie himself was never sure about her, Eddie was dating Ana and Marisol because he thought he had to, and I'm not even gonna go there with Kim. Abby breaks every possible protocol to call Buck, and she's never in it in the same way Buck is, Taylor tries to take advantage of Bobby's addiction for her personal gain and continues to take advantage of him to get ahead, Ali is never there, Natalia is too interested in Buck's death and Tommy is callous. There's a weird metaphor in there, but the basketball scene, the way Buck hits Tommy and ricochets back and Tommy doesn't even flinch. Buck needs someone who will bend. But the show didn't even try to establish an emotional connection between the two of them, everything comes back to the physical and with a character like Buck, who was shown using sex as a bad coping mechanism, to constantly make it seem like this new relationship isn't going beyond the sex is concerning. There were better ways to imply they are having sex. Even more considering the way the show had the opportunity to make it seem like they are building some sort of emotional connection and just chose not to. Every scene we had with the 2 of them could be rewritten adding the idea that they actually care about each other beyond the attraction, and that's a choice. To go the route they went is a choice. I'm still not over the way they had Tommy not dressing up and then Eddie suggesting matching outfits in the next scene. Like, it was that easy because they showed Eddie doing it. And I don't wanna compare, but with the constant triangle formation and the way they were showing Eddie as the person who understands Buck and Tommy as the dude Buck is fucking, we have nothing happening in our screen that makes it seem like Tommy is even a little fond of Buck and all I can think about is Buck standing in front of a hot air balloon with a huge bouquet of flowers for a woman who referred to him as a boytoy. Buck deserves someone who's gone for him and none of his canon love interests gave me that impression. And they make a very explicit choice to not make that implication. They could've been something, but right now they aren't. If you just watch the show you don't know why they are dating. They are just there. And coming from a show that wrote bathena, madney, and henren, and the way that Tommy being a firefighter gives him a fighting chance because it's real easy to make him exist outside of Buck, it's on purpose.

[regular-theodore]

I've seen a few posts about the similarities between Frank and Jeff, and on the whole I think they are pretty similar, but one thing I haven't seen explored (probably because there's a total of three people in this fandom) is that Jeff is a young Frank.

I think obviously most actors have a certain vibe, or a certain character type they play often or particularly well, and Jeff and Frank are both the sarcastic straight man of their group, but there's also some traits that definitely read to me as "he still has issues but he's getting better."

(essay below the cut)

I think one of the first things people could notice is that Frank is a silly little guy! Jeff overall (light heartedly) makes fun of the rest of the study group's shenanigans, before sometimes eventually relenting (this happens often in the end credits with Troy and Abed, when he at first rolls his eyes at them before reluctantly joining in and actually having fun). on the other hand, despite Frank's gruff exterior at first, he doesn't hesitate to have fun with his coworkers, and is seen getting very enthusiastic about it- for example, the licence plate game or the animal metaphor game.

obviously both characters' sarcasm and tendencies to use it as a coping mechanism/way of pushing people away. with Jeff it's addressed at times how he's distant, afraid of commitment, afraid of having friends, and other things. however, probably because Animal Control is much shorter, or has a more light-hearted tone, but it's never really addressed seriously by the characters other than in jokes how he's cold or distant.

adding to that, one noticeable difference is how open Frank is about craving intimacy. in the episode with the cats, Victoria makes fun of him for being old and alone, and in the episode with the gardening girl, he mentions that all he wants is to skip to a relationship, and to have someone to sit at home and be domestic with (paraphrasing because I can't be arsed). while Jeff on the other hand is very closed off, putting up a facade of not caring, going on a lot of dates, and generally doing all the parts that Frank hates; casual sex, dating, and shying away the moment it becomes something more serious. to me, this definitely screams character development- Frank gets over his issues with intimacy, probably through therapy or experience or age, and is burnt out from a twenties and thirties full of casual dating, which at heart, was never what he really wanted. this allows him to become far more open about how he truly just wants his person.

another thing on the topic of healing relationships is Jeff and Frank's daddy issues. in Community, it's far more obvious, as there's several episodes centred around Jeff's father and his relationship with him, and it's mentioned enough that it's obvious he still struggles with his dad's leaving as a kid. as opposed to Frank, who never mentions it apart from when actually sees his dad. when Jeff visits his dad, it's an entire episode thing, but when Frank sees his dad, it's at most a five minutes at the end of an episode. this shows Frank's moving on, and managing to focus less of his life around a father that doesn't care.

throughout Community, Jeff struggles with alcohol issues, which are somewhat addressed in the GI Joe episode. he drinks a fair amount and is even referred to as an alcoholic by other characters. in Animal Control, this is again far less severe, and while he is shown drinking several times, and it is joked about by Victoria, it comes across as far more teasing and less concerned. this honestly seems to be a general theme (he says as if this is based off anything at all and not just a coincidence) and it shows with Frank's relationship with food as well. obviously Jeff has some pretty fucked up self hatred and most likely an eating disorder, whereas Frank is shown eating pretty much whatever he wants, to the point where things like him eating Amit's ice cream sandwich or talking about the panini maker become pretty regular.

but also the part in the episode with the gardening girl, when he says he wants to skip to the part where they are "binging shows and gaining weight together" (so real of him) I think summarises his entire arc pretty perfectly, as since Greendale he's not only healed his relationship with food and his body, but he's accepted that what he wants in a partner is pretty much the opposite of what he thought he did before- almost "overcorrecting" to the point where characters no longer make fun of him for his commitment issues and casual dating, but now tease him for his domesticity and pathetic lonely yearning for someone to be his.

so yeah, this was a lot of rambling and projecting and making completely baseless assumptions but it was fun to write :3 I should do more character essays, especially about Jeff because he's so me. hopefully I get my Frank healing arc before I'm in my fifties <3

[darcytaylor]

It is tiring, is it not, trying to be a voice of reason in a fandom hell-bent on indulging in anything but? I admire your conviction and constancy, you're a stronger soldier than I.

Day after day I log in, finding very little in the fandom that interests me. I deleted my original blog because I was getting hate in my inbox on one hand and getting blocked by certain accounts then getting shit-talked by them on the other and people telling me about it. I don't need something like that in my life, especially not about something as inconsequential as a bloody TV show. Now I just mostly observe and occasionally slide into the ask box of people like you.

I think it's important to realize that at its core, this isn't about the show or Nic or Luke at all, it's about people meeting emotional needs by latching onto a piece of comfort media. A lot of the more extreme accounts in the fandom seem to be run by people with substantial trauma who are just trying to cope with the realities of life by rejecting them. It's unfortunate that they're taking it out on real people who just happen to be actors, but my hope is that the outlandishness of the claims makes it very easy for Nic and Luke to dismiss them outright and protect their peace.

I've been protecting my peace as well by not engaging. It just... It doesn't matter that much, none of this does. It's just entertainment. One day, people will delete their blogs, Tumblr will cease to exist, and so will the Universe, eventually. Not to get all existential on you lol, but everything that's ever been created and will ever be created will fade into irreversible nothingness. Do we really want to spend the limited time we have on Earth having bad experiences, especially unnecessary ones? The answer for me is no. But if other people are choosing this distress, it's not for me to tell them not to. It is their job to protect their own peace, if they so wish. And if they don't - well, it's their life to waste.

Appreciate you and hope we get more good career news from Nic and Luke soon! Have a good one.

Well, this is a thoughtful and introspective ask. Thank you for taking the time to share this, and for your kind words. It can definitely feel exhausting sometimes, trying to keep a level head in a space that can be so volatile and toxic. (I wouldn’t call myself the voice of reason - I’m just a human trying to be a positive presence online). But messages like yours remind me why I try - because there are people out there quietly observing, navigating the chaos in their own way, and some who may find some value in what I share.

I completely understand your decision to step back and protect your peace. That’s a smart move, and honestly, a much healthier one in a lot of ways. I’m sorry you had to deal with hate and gossip - it’s so disheartening how a space meant to bring joy can spiral into something so toxic. Like I’ve said before, if you don’t like a take you come across that isn't hurting anybody, there’s no need to respond in a hateful way (I do it all of the time!). People don’t need to belittle others for thinking differently. That doesn’t create an environment where everyone can actually enjoy themselves, learn, or connect. Instead, it just breeds hostility and defensiveness. And when people feel attacked, they’re less likely to engage in meaningful ways and more likely to retaliate. It’s just a vicious cycle of negativity, and no one wins in the end.

You bring up a good point about fandoms being a way for people to meet emotional needs (I mean I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm here). It’s such a bittersweet thing. On one hand, fandoms can be this amazing space for creativity and connection, but it can also turn into an unhealthy escape for some. Like you said, when this need for comfort becomes fixated on, it can lead to harmful projections - where the lines between fantasy and reality blur, and the people involved, like Nicola and Luke, are treated as though they’re part of that escape, instead of being real individuals.

I'm sure that Nicola and Luke are able to dismiss the more extreme stuff. I imagine that as public figures, they’ve probably had the opportunity to get some training or support to help them deal with everything that comes with fame - whether it’s media training, social media strategies, or just leaning on the people around them. They should hopefully have the tools they need to manage.

It’s a bit of a comfort to think that the more outlandish claims might be easier for them to brush off though, but it’s still a shame that they even have to deal with it in the first place. It’s a good reminder for all of us to try to approach spaces like this with more care and awareness.

Your existential perspective makes sense, none of this will matter in the grand scheme of things. What does matter is how we spend our time and the experiences we choose to let into our lives.

Thank you for your kind words and for this reminder about the bigger picture. Take care of yourself, and know that your choice to protect your peace is something to be admired.

Bring on more good news from Nicola, Luke and the rest of the Bridgerton cast! ❤️

[chaifootsteps]

You know how i cope with the fact that Helluva Boss is "wasted potential: the show"? By gaslighting myself into tinking thats not an actual cartoon, but a fanfic of one better adult cartoon from another universe:

In some other paralel universe, there is an aclaimed adult Cartoon that aired in adult swim from the early 2000's, called "Helluva Job", wich follows the wacky adventures or 4 demons, all very different in personalities and have a hard time working together, triying to get out of their miserable life as the lowest class of demons in hell by working on killing humans in exchange of money from those who commision them those murders.

Every episode its about them trying to get their new target, a premise thats kinda repetitive but the show manages to make it fresh avaery episode with its creativity.

It had a wacky absurd humor that doesnt take itself seriously, sometimes based on very silly and cartoony things happening to the protagonists, it also had a very, VERY dark humor that would make kinda fucked out jokes about taboo themes (kinda like drawn together), wich made many people belive that the show "didnt age well" despite still being hilarous. It also had some sexual humor, but it was very limited and always with clever jokes that arent just the characters screaming the names of genitals.

Robo-Fizz, The Cherubs and Verosika are some of the recurring villains that where remembered for having neat designs very charismatic personalities. Even the people that never saw the show know them and loves them.

The show was also know for having a lot of criticism of capitalism and rich people hidden behind clever dark humor, that didnt distract from the sillines of its show.

Stolas is just a recurring joke of "that one creepy old man Blitzo sleep with because he is rich and has to do it to keep his job", he never gets more than 4 minutes on screen and its always him being an steriotypical rich asshole who abuses his power and makes gross comments to Blitzo (and he is very classist and racist). Stella is just the woman thats married to him and she tries to be a decent wife, but she is clearly annoyed with him and clearly she just waiting for him to ask divorce.

Stolas also dies in the finale of the show when a metor falls over him, Blitzo celebrates this in the most childish and exagerated (but also extremely funny) way possible.

The art style was like a combination between Clone High and Dexter's laboratory, with the use of exagerated shapes to form its cgaracters. And the animation was just decent, but its praised over the character designs, wich are simple yet efective and creative

The show got 2 seasons and those were enough, it was remembered as one of the darkerst yet funniest cartoons that ever aired on adult swim, and how people still rewatching it years later.

Meanwhile, Vivziepop is some popular artist in the fandom of that show thats know because, for some reason, she got obsessed with Stolas fucking Blitzo, and she insist that their relationship is the most beautiful thing ever, and hates Stella for some headcanons she created about her.

She wrote the know fanfic "Helluva Boss" wich is basically her mischaracterising every character into becoming this really boring, flavourless version of themselves and get reducted to one aspect of their personality. And her trying to gaslight us into thinking that Blitzo and Stola's relationship was some misunderstood tragic wholesome romance, because "Stolas actually loved him!". Almost everyone in the fandom makes fun of this fanfic.

Extremely valid, Anon. To get by in this bitch of a world, sometimes you've just got to gaslight yourself a little.

[begitalarcos]

Hey Guys

Wow it's been quite some time. In regards to my last life post (that I don't remember making) but did happen and was very difficult to deal with all the fall out for like... more than a month after.

I'm sorry I left you all with that and then just disappeared again. Things have been weird the last couple months... to put it in simple words... shit sucks

The falling out with my daughter caused a huge rift between several people who (were not involved but still had a very loud opinion about things) and quite a few uncomfortable conversations.

I unfortunately started drinking as a way to deal with not dealing with things (I'm good now but I had about 3 weeks of just being smashed on the regular) and during that time I suffered an awful fall which resulted in me slipping a disc in my back. Possibly 2 of them but I've had such a hard time dealing with doctors lately that no one in the medical field has been particularly helpful. So I've been living off a cocktail of painkillers for almost 2 months now (which I hate), I was going to physio but then my insurance decided not to cover my sessions until I could PROVE I was actually hurt.

Tomorrow I go for an assessment with a new doctor to try and get my insurance to cover treatment again, my MRI isn't even until August of next f*cking year. -_-

Our healthcare system is an absolute joke right now.

On top of being in CONSTANT pain (not being able to sit or lie down for very long either cuz I lose feeling in my legs) my daughters disability/mental health program has decided to just... not help anymore until she gets a new assessment. Even though its been almost 3 years and she's still on a waiting list for an adult psychiatrist.

So the last week or so now everyone is coming back to me to try and fix/smooth things out again (after I was basically pushed out of her life because I was "making shit up" and "didn't actually care" and apparently was just being a control freak) and no one has apologized for the way they treated me or forced me out of helping my own kid. Nope. They just expect that now that she has no financial coverage that I should be the one to speak for her again cause they have no idea what to do. -_-

My husband has been solid thankfully, even though his relationship with Sassy has suffered so much because of the people around her who have influenced her... not always for the better. But I at least have maintained a sense of control in a way that's worked for me.

I told everyone who has given me grief for the past couple years about Sassy (including Sassy) that if I am going to advocate for her and get this stuff sorted out that I'm doing it my way, and if I get any push back or flack from anyone - then I'm done. They can figure it out themselves and I wash my hands of it all.

My husband thinks I shouldn't have gotten involved again at all, but I know (and I knew things were gonna blow up eventually) if I don't fix this... its gonna become my problem again anyways.

This past month or so I've had some really good breakthroughs with my therapist about my toxic coping skills, people pleasing and lack of boundaries with family members.

I feel better about things though than I ever have and now that I am standing firm with my boundaries and my convictions its been much easier for me to deal with any gaslighting or potential drama that people have tried to start up with me.

I know this got super long winded and I didn't intend for it to be as rambling and trauma dumpy as it was but - it is good to get things out and clear the air. As I feel like I sort of left an air of weirdness here for quite sometime.

Working on getting back to the things that I enjoy and stop becoming immersed in other peoples drama and things that I can't change.

I've missed you guys and crikey has Tumblr changed since I've been away. But I'm hopeful and I look forward to getting back into fandoms and gif sets and all those things I loved so much again <3

much love to you all

B

[nemaliwrites]

i finally got around to reading "Rappaccini's Daughter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne and now i have Dahlia Thoughts™

Rappaccini's Daughter, according to the Ace Attorney wiki, is where the inspiration for Dahlia's last name comes from. I read it with my Fandom Goggles on, and not to get too english class here, but....we're about to get pretty english class

For those of you who haven't read it, it's a gothic short story abt a medical researcher whose experiments with poisonous plants result in his own daughter, Beatrice, becoming poisonous. The man who falls in love with her slowly learns the truth about her nature and struggles to cope with it.

"Am I awake? Have I my senses?" said he to himself. "What is this being? Beautiful shall I call her, or inexpressibly terrible?"

A large portion of our MC's internal narration heavily revolves around the idea of one's appearance vs their nature. He refers to the garden as "an Eden of poisonous flowers". When he shuns Beatrice for what she is, she tells him that even though her exterior is poisonous, her soul is pure.

This is a direct contrast to Dahlia, who Phoenix refers to multiple times as an "angel". And, needless to say, her soul is quite the opposite.

But the one thing the story makes clear about Beatrice is that she is, at the end of the day, a victim of her circumstances - in the same way that Dahlia arguably is as well. The MC's realization of the truth comes like this: he realizes that because Beatrice has been raised in the presence of poison, she has become poisonous herself -> i feel like I don't even need to relate this back to Dahlia at this point, it kind of slaps you in the face.

Beatrice confronts her father, too, and asks why he inflicted this miserable curse on her; but he is adamant that he hasn't done anything wrong.

"Wouldst thou, then, have preferred the condition of a weak woman, exposed to all evil and capable of none?"

He claims it's anything but misery to be as terrible as you are beautiful, to have the power and strength against which no enemy can prevail -> does that not give you big Morgan vibes

At the end, she takes an antidote given to her, believing that it will cure her of her poison - but because she's been so inextricably tied w the poison, there's no curing her anymore.

To Beatrice,--so radically had her earthly part been wrought upon by Rappaccini's skill,--as poison had been life, so the powerful antidote was death

The comparisons to Dahlia are interesting, I think, in that the 'poison' can be used as a metaphor for literally anything else. If we stick with the whole 'you can't escape from your nature and whatever you are raised in the presence of is something you can't separate from yourself anymore', then in a way Dahlia is the exact opposite of Beatrice. One actively fights against and rejects her nature, isolating herself from the entire world, while the other accepts it wholeheartedly. It also can be used to draw further comparisons between Beatrice's father and Morgan: one purposefully molded his daughter to fit his desired image, while the other actively was not involved, but still led to the same end result.

Beatrice's tragedy is that she's aware of her poisonous nature and hates it. She tells Giovanni, her love interest, "I am poisonous! I am deadly! I am like the fatal basilisk that slays with a glance!" She's a prisoner of her father's making, a living weapon who longs for normalcy. Dahlia, on the other hand, embraces her poisonous nature. She uses her charm like a weapon, manipulating everyone around her. There's no longing for normalcy with her; she revels in the chaos she creates.

"Thou hast filled my veins with poison! Thou hast made me as hateful, as ugly, as loathsome and deadly a creature as thyself--a world's wonder of hideous monstrosity!"

And, unwillingly, Beatrice ends up passing on her poisonous nature to Giovanni - and now he's forced to live with this curse. What, then, does that say about Phoenix...?

[positivelybeastly]

Is the krakoan era X-Men the most unlikable interation of X-Men?

"I - don't think that's fair to say about them. From what I understand, they put all of their hopes on the establishment of a new country, joined everyone together under one roof, and then . . ."

He'd never seen anything like it. The sheer amount of carnage. He didn't even know most of the people he'd seen being torn apart in the footage, but that hadn't stopped him wanting to throw up when he'd seen them being . . . God, and then, when Bobby . . . he'd dragged his hands down his face and wanted to wail.

Who could do that to Bobby of all people?

The short, glib answer is that Chuck Austen's run of X-Men continues to exist, so by default, no-one can be as unlikable as them.

But the long answer is that the Krakoan X-Men aren't really the X-Men for a lot of that era, and, in their hurry to enjoy the fanfic-esque tropical island paradise setting that Krakoa presents, the fandom forgets just how . . . weird, and culty, the island actually is.

Hey, do you wanna know something semi-embarrassing about me? I only read House of X yesterday. I've only ever read the finer details on other Wiki pages and the occasional plot synopses, never actually read the issues themselves, and . . .

It's fucking creepy, man.

I had an instant negative reaction to the weird shit to do with resurrection, and I just, was not comfortable. The way Cyclops was all creepy about Franklin Richards, acting like they have more claim on him than his actual birth family? I'm sorry, dude, that's fucking whacked out.

Like, I'm sorry, I think that mutant sovereignty is an absolute must and a mutant nation is a narrative necessity, but Krakoa's been fucking creepy and weird and cult-y since moment one.

The weird rituals about resurrection, the whole dying in combat to earn your powers back bullshit, the vilification of Scarlet Witch, everything that went down in LaVelle's Sabretooth books, the Quiet Council and X-Force (full stop, just - in general), the casual sex leading to popping out babies you just LEAVE ON THE FUCKING GROUND?

It's a fucked up society. It's dystopian. You conquered death, and guess what? That never ends well. Suddenly you have to redefine life's meaning, and they chose to make it just fucking around and being weirdos, and, like, sure, that's a mood, but it's also not particularly heroic, and it's very significant that it takes a while for the X-Men to reform as an actual hero team because, well, they decided to give up on protecting a world that hated and fear them for a bit there.

But that's in-universe. Out of universe?

They just aren't putting in the time to service the relationships between the characters properly, and a lot of the time, when those moments do happen, it's become extremely clear that almost everyone on Krakoa is a self-obsessed narcissist with increasingly toxic levels of coping with it.

Think about Kate Pryde just completely fucking flubbing her chance to spot that Piotr Rasputin was under mind control, think about Storm just fucking off to Mars and abandoning everything on Earth, think about what happens to Orphan-Maker at the end of Hellions, think about LITERALLY EVERYTHING to do with X-Force - this is not a healthy society.

And that's a good story.

But it feels like at some point, they just kinda forgot about the fucked up shit and decided nah, this is just paradise, this is great, let's sand off the edges. Like, when Jean tells Firestar to just throw X-Force Beast under the bus to make her cover better during the Hellfire Gala, it's read by so many people as this girlboss OMG SLAAAAAAY moment, but . . . you . . . guys do realise that, like . . . that's fucked up, right? You do realise what that moment means?

"You should invoke Beast's reputation as a butcher of humans and a genocidal maniac and a massive lying piece of shit, WHICH I KNOW ABOUT AND HAVE DONE NOTHING ABOUT, and in fact, I'm going to validate his work because it's useful to me now!"

Like, X-Force Beast would tell Jean that she did EXACTLY the right thing in that moment, would welcome it, compliment her on her cunning, and if that's not a sign that you fucked up, that your moral priorities are completely and utterly fucked, then I don't know what to tell you, man.

[meraki-yao]

20 Questions For Fic Writers ✒️

I have a bit of time between now and my consultation for my essay so I’m finally answering these! Thank you to @luainthewild and @typicalopposite for the tags!!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

13 right now! I’m a baby fic writer lol I only started in 2022 as a coping mechanism from university fucking me up, but I’m fully in love with it now. It’s so good to get back into writing for myself after writing for school and exams according to a marking scheme for so long.

What's your total ao3 word count? 43,982!

What fandoms do you write for?

浪浪钉 LLD (The collective ship name for the main ship Wenzhou and the rps Junzhe), Shadowhunters (mostly Show canon but I do have book canon fic ideas in my drafts), RWRB

I have a Sanders Sides Hadestown AU in my drafts too but that’s been gathering dust there for a while😅

Top five fics by kudos:

I’d Hang the Moon for It to Shine on Him Sleeping (RWRB)

I Need Comfort (But I Hate Being Comfortable) (RWRB)

Dancing Under Red Skies (Shadowhunters)

Take Me Out and Take Me Home (Shadowhunters)

Achilles Come Down (Shadowhunters)

Do you respond to comments?

Not really, mostly because I have no idea how to handle compliments🫠

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’d say my first fic? Four Times Love Meant Sacrifice and the One Time It Didn't Need To, because that was literally four ships with a bad ending (or at least endings presented as bad) with one final happy ending ship. But otherwise I mostly stick with happy endings, or at least hopeful endings

But I will say my WIP that I posted on Wednesday is gonna break that record and have the angsiest ending, because it’s about Arthur Fox’s cancer diagnosis and Henry’s emotional journey through that point of his life

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I’d say most of them are fairly happy? But I do think I do hopeful endings more.

Probably Can I Have This Dance? It ends with Alex and Henry dancing around in the Texas family house after the election

Do you get hate on fics?

So far so good, no, and I’m hoping it stays that way 🥹

Do you write smut?

Very, very tame. The most explicit thing I’ve written is The Word of Your Body, which is a RWRB Movie Paris scene fic. It’s very tame, but writing the main event gave me such a crisis

Craziest crossover:

I don’t think I’ve done a crossover? Between fandoms, that is. And I don’t think I’ll ever plan to? Unless you count what I did for Four Times Love Meant Sacrifice and the One Time It Didn't Need To because I was mixing the actor’s characters from different projects and shipping them together (which is a really prominent thing in the LLD/JZ fandom)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but with my growing interest in translation, I am thinking of translating some of my own fics, starting with the LLD (since that’s a dominantly Chinese fandom to began with)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not yet!

All time favorite ship?

Aw, you can’t make me choose, that’s impossible!

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have way too many ideas in my RWRB draft box, so there’s a lot of doubt there

But for fics I actually already started, it’s a song fic on “I’ll Cover You” from Rent for Junzhe. I was like 40% done with the draft, but the last time I touched it was in 2022.

It’s supposed to be a sort of exploration on cross-dressing and femineity which started because I was pissed at the government’s “Anti-sissy” declaration, and Zhehan (one part of the ship, but don’t search him online yourself a lot of shit happened and there’s massive misinformation everywhere about him) was really loved and known for his perceived femininity after holding a dominantly masculine image for most of his career. The gender neutrality in his style during and after Word of Honor suited him better, and I wanted to write about that

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptive writing and character studies, which is why most of my fics are either putting visual media into words, or missing scenes, or canon compliant

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue and anything regarding movement and action, so choosing to write a Tangled AU for the RWRB Big Bang is a challenge I set for myself

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Be careful with it, and be respectful. (and of course, if it’s Chinese, I will be extra critical)

First fandom you wrote in?

Lang Lang Ding/Junzhe! Or if you categorize according to AO3 tags, Word of Honor RPF

Favorite fic you've written?

Eh, I’m pretty happy with most of my fics but I’ll go with I’d Hang the Moon for It to Shine on Him Sleeping, The Word of Your Body and Achilles Come Down

No pressure tagging @o0anapher0o @pippin-katz @lfg1986-2 @noemiettedraw @thinkof-england

[diabolicalcunt]

I feel the need to pin this cause I’ve always been notorious for people loving me when they first meet me, and then finding out that my political views are not extremely liberal. So here’s all the reasons you will hate me once you get to know me. Or not. I honestly don’t care I’m just sick of the ‘You aren’t who I made you out be in my head!’ conversations.

So my unpopular opinions in no order-

1. They/them is something that’s being encouraged by big brother to see yourself as non or less human.

2. DID isn’t real and you just disassociate a specific way. I look like I’ve been drugged cause I fall down ‘inside’ myself like a well and have no reaction time and can barely speak. I’m like a sloth. You pretend to be a anime character. It’s just coping.

3. The concept of trans genocide is fear mongering by big brother and means to keep boundaries between social groups.

4. To build off 3, the push to medically transition underage children is a move by big pharmaceutical companies to create a permanent customer. Because whether you decide to stay transitioned or de transition, you’re going to be on medication for the rest of your life whether you like it or not. There’s also the whole issue with child exploitation. You’ll be judgmental against Dance Moms, but you won’t say anything about a mom who transitioned her child when they were two years old and made them a social media star.

5. Trans men and women who have been charged with a crime belong in LGBT prison wings. Because we have created a culture where male rapists can put on its dress and be rewarded with a permanent stay in the hen house where they can victimize more women and the system will just cry transphobia and call the victims liars. You got a problem with that? I have never seen a trans man pushing to get put in men’s prison. I wonder why… 😐

6. Blair White is queen.

7. I will fight Henry Cavill on sight. I don’t give a shit how bad you want motorboat him. He’s a fucking pedophile.

8. Same goes for David Bowie. When I get to the afterlife I’m gonna make him wish he could die again. Ask me if you want my full on sight list. 😂

9. I stand with Palestine. Yes I think Islam is a horrible religion that is anti woman. I still don’t think kids should die for the grievances of adults and I think it’s fucked up Israel is doing the same shit Nazis did to them and expect us to nod and smile!

10. Qu**r is just as much of a slur as f*g*t or n*gg*r. I don’t use it and if you do I will block you no questions asked. Say gay! Say lesbian! Say…bisexual! 😱

11. Butch women are valid as fuck and I adore y’all . They aren’t trans men, fuck your lesbian phobia.

12. To build off 11, the new LGBT movement has been infected by woke homophobia and the new trans movement is nothing but conversion therapy in a mask.

13 . Radical feminists are women’s last hope.

14. Marvel movies always sucked, we were just kids and ate up the pretty colors.

15. Dune is a white male savior story.

16. Your fave is not autistic, trans, gay or whatever. You just need validation cause you have no confidence.

17. The Boys should have never cast Jensen Ackles and the Supernatural fandom needs psychological help.

18. Too many of y’all try to primp and posture as the gods of your fandom and yes I say that as someone who did the same and stepped away when I realized how cringe I was. Lording over autistic adults and actual children is pathetic. Get therapy and a real hobby.

19. While gender neutral fanfiction has its place. The trend that all fanfiction needs to be gender neutral is literally killing the creativity and frankly the spice to fanfiction. I hate this trend where piece of media needs to be sterilized so it can be consumed by anyone, even people just passing by. It goes against the concept of creating at its core. Sometimes things are made for specific groups. Sometimes it’s made just for you. The things you create do not need to be sanitized to the point there’s no substance, just a hollow consumption. Think of it this way. Would you rather have a hot pizza of your preference or would you prefer to just drink a bowl of water because someone on the other side of the world might not like pizza?

20. The WWE Divas belt was iconic. I get the whole take women wrestlers seriously movement and I agree! But god damn it, it’s a Bratz belt!!! Gimme!!!!!

21. I fucking HATE koalas. They literally only exist because humans have dumped millions of dollars and keeping them alive. If natural selection were allowed to take his course, they would’ve died off 100 years ago. The food they consume has so little nutrition that they have evolved to have the smallest brain to cranium capacity of any animal to create a built in helmet!! Why? Cause they are so stupid they literally fall out of trees and drop their infants!!! They shit on their young and have permanent diarrhea due to the 0 nutrition thing. They carry chlamydia. They’re so fucking stupid they can’t fuck and have to be artificially inseminated to continue the population. If I couldn’t get laid on my own, the government would not drop millions of dollars into making sure I do!! So why did koalas get it? Literally a waste of resources that could be going to feed thousands of hungry children and instead we’re keeping a fucking retarded (I’m on the spectrum fuck you) animal alive who should have gone extinct hundreds of years ago cause it’s supposedly ‘cute’!! God! I hate koalas!

[itchose]

in-depth character headcanon questions for TRAVIS | @inflame asked: what's your muse's biggest fears and what caused them?

i have so many different answers for this for different parts of his life.

pre-crash,  his biggest fear is being perceived.   he’s always been an outsider,   always struggled to make friends / connect with anyone,  but it obviously gets a lot worse after 7th grade when he has his spinal fusion surgery and starts getting bullied more heavily with the addition of the nickname flex and all the other rumors that come with it.   because it’s one thing to be the kid on the outside who people just ignore in a way that’s always made him feel lonely;   it’s another thing to be the kid only noticed because of a rumor being spread and a nickname people can now use to poke fun at him too.  especially because most of the people probably don’t even know what his actual name is.   they just know the nickname that’s clearly very harmful to him.  so now there’s attention on him that makes him even lonelier than not being noticed at all.  he hates the idea of people talking about him or to him in this way,  he hates knowing that there are people spreading this name / these rumors,  he hates knowing that they only see him as this.  

he’d rather not be perceived at all,  which ultimately makes his initial time in the wilderness harder,  because there’s no chance of him fitting in there at all.  he’s the only teenage boy there.  there’s a group of girls who are already on a team together who already know each other in a certain way.  then there’s an adult,  and then his kid brother,  and these people are all outsiders in their own way,   and i think the fandom has a habit of associating travis with ben to claim there’s some similarity there,  but there really isn’t.   he’s still an adult,  travis is still a teenager,  they’re still in very different circumstances.  ben tries to connect with him to be there for him but it’s hard for travis to accept it   ( i think there’s some resonation between them much later on, but that doesn’t mean travis feels like ben is the person to stick around to make him feel less alone,  because he isn’t.  )  

the bullying is just even harder for him to deal with in the wilderness because it’s now impossible to hide,  even worse than it was in the halls at school,   because he is such an easy target.  he is the only teenage boy there and they’ve already got hold of this nickname that makes him feel so much shame and it’s impossible for him to get away from it.  he’s being perceived more than ever,   or at least that’s how it feels,  and it’s terrifying to him,  which is why he lashes out and why he’s mean to everyone around him and especially his brother.  and he handles none of this in the right way but all of his fears and insecurities really hit him at once and the only way he knows how to deal with it is to push outward.

after crashing,  his biggest fear is losing javi.    and that doesn’t mean he’s the best brother to him because of it,  either,  because he’s definitely not.   he never properly processed his feelings about his father’s death.  he didn’t like him,  he routinely wished for him to be gone,  but now that he actually is,  he doesn’t know how to cope with that,  other than realizing that the responsibility to take care of javi is now on him.   and he doesn’t know what he’s doing.  he’s well aware that he’s not been a good brother to him for the past few years,  but now,  he’s his only parental figure out there,   and that’s scary,  because travis has no good reference from their father.   and it’s fucked up because as much as he doesn’t want to be his father,  he ultimately takes his anger out on javi the way his father often did to him,   and he can feel himself doing it and it’s terrifying to him.   he takes steps in the right direction but when he can’t handle something personally,  it backfires.   he literally tries to dig up their dead father’s body just so he can bring javi something to have of a father that travis never liked or trusted anyway,  and when he gives it to him,  he acts like he just had it because he wants to spare javi from knowing the lengths he went and because he doesn’t want some kind of empty praise for something that felt necessary to him anyway.  but he still fights javi afterwards.   he steals food from the girls and refuses to give them a reason,  and when he tries to give it to javi just so he can feed his brother,  he still gets mad at him for the gum.   he’s trying to take care of javi physically but it’s the emotional side that’s really hard for him.   he tries,  just very slowly.

and then he does lose javi.  he’s missing for over 2 months and all travis can think about is that as long as he doesn’t have closure,  then javi is still out there,  but he’s suffering somewhere and he has to get to him.   travis told javi not to come with him on doomcoming and that led to javi’s disappearance and to travis’s assault + almost murder.  all of these things are connected.  if he didn’t go with jackie,  if he didn’t make that choice,  then maybe he wouldn’t be so traumatized,  and more importantly to him,  maybe javi would still be here.  he believes it’s on him for not just being with him.  it was a scary night for everyone and he should’ve been protecting his brother and no,  travis isn’t at fault for what happened to either of them,  but he’s never going to forgive himself for his decisions that night anyway.  and, frankly, it’s easier to hate himself for what happened to javi than to deal with what happened to himself.  because at least finding javi is something he feels like he can actually do,  but actually working through what he experienced that night isn’t something he feels capable of doing.

javi returns and travis promises himself he’s going to do better by him.   because he can’t afford to lose him;   just like with bringing the ring back for him so he can have something,  he has to be able to bring something home to his mother,  too.   it can’t just be him.   he knows he’s not the favorite son,  he knows that his mother is already going to have a hard time processing the fact that her husband is gone,  but she can’t lose her youngest son,  too.   and travis doesn’t feel like he’s any sort of consolation prize either.   he takes a new approach with javi,  he tries to be softer with him,  tries to match his energy when he can’t speak.   he tells him it’s okay if he doesn’t want to talk because he understands that’s not something he’s comfortable with,  but he’s still desperate for information because he’s so afraid of what happened to him out there.   he tries to create a shield between javi and the others, he refuses to push javi when the girl insist he do it,  because he’s trying to protect him.   because that’s all he can do until javi is ready to communicate with him.   but he’s terrified,  because javi is back,  but it doesn’t feel like he is, �� like he’s a ghost of his former self,   and travis has already decided that he’s failed to save him.

but then there’s some relief when he doesn’t pull the queen card,  and he doesn’t even consider what his actions afterwards could do.   all he thought about was saving nat’s life,  he never expected it to put javi in danger   (  not that it would have stopped him,  per se.   in that moment all he was thinking about was saving nat.  )   he tells javi to go protect nat because it’s his only move left,  but the last thing he’s expecting is for them to bring javi’s body back.   he sees javi’s dead body and all he can think about is his own failures.    he thinks he could have prevented it,  he thinks it’s his fault;   not just by fighting in the circle but everything that led here.  he can’t see it any other way.   and i’m with the kevin who said that if travis knew what nat did,  what really happened when javi died,  he would never forgive her.  so i don’t think he ever learns what happens out there—  and i don’t think the details are something he’s desperate for, either.    all he knows is that what he was most scared of out there already happened,   and now he doesn’t know how to keep on living.   but he has to,  because that’s why javi died:   so travis could live.

after he loses javi,  for the rest of his time in the wilderness + through his life post rescue,   one of his biggest fears is dying.   it’s not that he thinks his life is worth living or that he’s afraid of death itself;  he’s faced it for so long that it’s impossible for him not to get comfortable with the thought.   what scares him is ever making what happened to javi meaningless.  because van did reach him in that conversation before they ate javi,  even if he wasn’t exactly receptive to it at first.   javi died to he could save their lives,  to save travis’s life,  and if he didn’t eat,   if he didn’t keep fighting to live every single day of his life afterwards,   then what did he die for?   that doesn’t stop him from being reckless with his life,  either—  but he’s so desperate to feel something that he can’t balance safety and survival all at once.   that’s why there’s a suicide pact between him and nat;   because they both know they’re alive because javi is dead.   and they both feel in depth to him for different reasons.  their lives have to be lived,  even when it doesn’t feel worth it.   

outside of himself,  his other biggest fear,  especially post-rescue,  is nat dying.    she’s his only family left.   she’s all he has.   he has a mother who he doesn’t know how to look in the eye anymore / who he can’t properly communicate with.   even when things between him and nat are going horribly,   even when they’re breaking it off / refusing to speak,   she’s still family.   she always will be,   just as javi saw it too,   and he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her.   sometimes,  that means they have to stay away from each other,  and he understands that too.   he hurts her,   she hurts him,  it’s a cycle that they can’t get out of because no one else understands them the way the other does.    they don’t belong together but how can they possibly belong anywhere else?  they’re horrible together but how can they be with anyone else?   if nat is safer away from him,  then he’ll accept that,  because at least she’ll live,  he thinks.   and that’s all that matters to him.   i think travis would have had a very similar arc to nat’s if it happened in reverse;  it might’ve been the only way for him to ever want to reach out to anyone beyond lot.   

to circle this back around to the beginning,   another fear of his post rescue goes back to being perceived.    it’s just different than it was when he was in high school.   i’m actually surprised it took him so long to finally change his name and go off the grid,   i think it’s something that he considered for many years before he ever finally did it,  because he hates hearing his name,  he hates knowing that people may recognize him from the news.   the good thing about it is that most of the time,  his photo isn’t used in reports at all,   because it’s often focused on the team;   the bad thing is that his name is probably more recognizable because of it,  too.  he wants to try to live his life without his past following him but it’s so scary for him to try,   because he shuts down the moment someone mentions it—  especially if they’re aware that he is the only one who had family with him out there,   and he returned alone.   for everyone else,  their relationships with the ones who passed away are just speculation,  but travis doesn’t get that—-  his father and his brother’s death are something that is certain to anyone who knows about what happened out there.  he can’t escape that.  he’s still being perceived in the worst ways and he still can’t free himself from it.

[highlordofkrypton]

Hi!!! I’m brand new to the ACOTAR series and have been browsing for rare pairs and stumbled on Nyxlin. I didn’t know it was like, A Thing! Personally I like Tamlin/Rhys (they have so much chemistry omg. I don't know how people don't see it!) but I’m always fascinated by the rare pairs and how creative people are with their fics. Went down the rabbit hole of the fandom and found your blog and I’m shocked at how divisive it is. Nyx doesn’t have much of a character so can I ask what it is about the ship that you like?

Ignore this if you want to! I just got excited to find an active fandom.

First of all, welcome to the fandom! So glad to have (maybe?) another rarepair shipper on board 😊

I apologize in advance as I have an inability to be concise when I answer asks.

Tamsand (Tamlin x Rhys) was actually what first brought me into the fandom -- I had written a whole fic midway through ACOWAR because I couldn't get over the casual mention of 'training together in Illyrian camps' and Tamlin learning dirty limericks from the soldiers. They really do have amazing chemistry 👏👏👏

In terms of divisiveness, one thing you will notice very quickly is that even though the fandom is active:

It's still small enough that people keep stepping on each other's toes when it comes to opinions towards ships; it's harder to ignore when drama (usually ship or Tamlin related) goes down because everyone kind of has something to say.

Very big canon discourse, especially towards ships (constant ship wars over canon ships)

Very vocal anti-shipping, moral policing, etc. of ships and character interactions without ever engaging in the fanworks. As a rarepair shipper, I'm sure you'll understand that there are so many ways to make a ship work, and very few of them have to do with the canon text. Lots of knee-jerk reactions over ultimately silly things.

Nyxlin is only the latest drama over all kinds of rarepairs/crackships. Before that it was Elain x Beron x Tamlin, and before that it was Rhysand x Nesta. I believe there were some Nesta x Eris issues, but I only heard echoes of that.

My best advice before all else is enjoy yourself. No matter what anyone else says, just have fun.

I'm not sure if I'll have the answers you're looking for in terms of Nyxlin; we're quite a few Nyxlin shippers and everyone has their own take on the ship.

COMMONALITIES

There are a few things in common between Nyxlin fics and headcanons that I've seen that people seem to enjoy across the board.

It's important to note that every Nyxlin discussion, discourse or fanworks that I have engaged in have Nyx as an adult before getting involved with Tamlin. This is a distinction that many people struggle with when condemning this ship.

Rebellion - In the same way that Rhysand and Tamlin getting together would be taboo in their father's eyes, Nyx growing up to go against his parents actively or being forced to rebel in the name of love. It's almost like any other Disney movie where the parents say no, but the child goes ahead anyway.

Humour - Who hasn't made a ship out of a stupid joke? I have a lot of ships that have bloomed out of pure silliness. Some people have done a parody of Twilight and then we all got attached. Others just thought it would be hilarious if Feyre and Rhysand, who hate Tamlin with a passion, would have to cope with their son being irrevocably attached to their nemesis.

Redemption - Both Spring and Night have wronged each other, so this is a chance to make up for it on both sides. If Feyre and Rhysand won't meet Tamlin halfway, then their son will do it for them!

Parallels between Life (Spring) and Death (Night) - The Hades/Persephone mirrors can be seen here, if not flipped on its head with 'darkness' barging into Spring when Tamlin just really, really needs a nap.

There are probably more, but these are the ones I can think off the top of my head.

MY NYXLIN

My reasons include the themes mentioned above, but I also chose to write Nyx because he doesn't have much of a character.

I originally wrote a piece about my morally gray OC in Prythian to see how he stands up to Rhysand, and ironically, this character I've had in my mind for over a decade shared similarities with the High Lord of Night, not only in terms of the darkness-themed abilities, but in looks -- well, if dark hair and bright eyes is anything to go by.

Once I shared that WIP, I got a lot of requests to continue the story, but I'm quite shy to share OCs, especially in a fandom that struggles to deviate from canon. I also thought that what a brilliant way to parallel the reason the previous generation High Lords were so cruel; I could have Rhysand's son be more powerful than Rhysand, and have Rhysand have to cope with that threat (because my Nyx is not friendly at all).

It was quite funny to have Rhysand's ass handed to him by his son, and watch his son-turned-Eldritch-god side with Tamlin which is terrifying to him. As a Death God, there's also a really beautiful parallel to be had with Spring.

I also think it's hilarious because my Nyx looks like a 40 year old man, therefore looks older than Rhysand in canon who is looks like the canonical early 20s.

You can see how I'm not only bending the canon, but I've gone really far, if not completely off the rails, which is why I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer your question in general.

Anyway, me and my readers are having a shit ton of fun, and I think that's what matters most out of all of this!! 😊

[gladiatorcunt]

# RULES - ♱ ♱ ♱

“They're angelic symbols, passed on to mankind by the archangel Gabriel.”

+ general ::

♱ 18+ , no minors may interact. ageless blogs will be blocked. for blank blogs: if you have an age in your bio and you don’t seem like a bot, i’ll let it slide. tws will be tagged accordingly but lmk if i’ve missed any. requests are open and if you’re not sure if i write for a fandom/character, just ask. do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere. all writing is my own. dm’s and asks are also open

♱ dark fic & non dark fic topics welcome (specifics below but since i’ll definitely forget stuff, feel free to ask. will be more dark content focused overall though)

♱ no ultra specific requests (reader’s full appearance or background, basically outlining an entire fic that you should maybe write yourself, etc.)

♱ mainly smut reader inserts including those that vaginas and/or dicks w/ different terminology for specific parts being used on occasion (please understand that my readers won’t be neurotypical or all that extroverted as it’s hard for me to get in the headspace to write that. and also that having a certain style of dress, feminine or masculine, doesn’t mean that that reader is a man or a woman. & gn pronouns doesn’t always mean nb it just means a general they/them that anyone can read and imagine themselves in.)

♱ plus sized reader is the only physical trait i will typically involve (other than glasses sometimes) bc i’m plus sized (no hate to people who aren’t plus sized, i’m just tired, and i write for myself at the end of the day)

♱ i can’t shut up so requesting other parts is fine but please do so respectfully and with the understanding that it might not be a priority or that it might not happen

♱ trying to work and go to school so i don’t have a posting schedule. i also do not take requests atm but ideas/thirsts/suggestions are fine with the understanding that they may never see the light of day

♱ i reserve the right to not fulfill a request or write something i said i was going to if life gets in the way, i’m just not feeling it, or it’s a topic/fandom/character i don’t write for

# REQUESTING & ASKS - ♱ ♱ ♱

“One for every sin. So quite a few.”

[dune, the boys, elden ring, wuwa, & original content]

+ i won’t write ::

♱ extreme physical abuse (character enjoys hurting reader in whatever non sexual way or vice versa), cnc (triggering for me and not how i personally cope), scat, degradation, hardcore humiliation, whipping, exhibitionism where people are actually watching, cheating (character on reader), torture, hardcore bdsm, choking to the point someone passes out, anything involving frogs (same reason), child abuse/csa (reader can have a past that involves those things but no explicit descriptions), love triangles (they’re either poly by the end or not, i’m not into the tsitp type drama), pornstar au (not for me), blindfolds/object gags, pegging, unrequited love (let me be delusional), characters or reader making the other(s) jealous on purpose or because it’s funny (just a personal pet peeve), orgasm delay/denial, dom reader (will write this on occasion but it’s never a sure thing), only character x character

+ i will write ::

♱ pregnancy (either in the baby trapping way or otherwise), non dark fic topics, dub con, toxicity aside from cheating & physical abuse & bullying, obsessive/possessive behavior, oviposition, yandere, manipulation, kidnapping, gentle & slightly harder non con, wax play, psuedo-incest, rpf (no underage people obviously), knifeplay, face slapping, incest (ONLY WHEN IT COMES TO HOTD/ANY TARGARYEN YALL PLEASE-), omegaverse, vomit, pain play, monster/creature stuff, bondage/leashes, characters or reader as hybrids, age gap (no underage stuff anyway between minors but also no age gaps involving minors), au/s, female characters, oc x reader, etc.

+ don’t send messages about ::

♱ the crow remake & bill skarsgård (i’m 50/50 on him objectively but don’t push it, messages that focus more on him are fine i guess. it’s more the remake itself.)

♱ hades game spoilers, god of war ragnarok spoilers, honkai star rail spoilers, arkham knight trilogy spoilers, baldurs gate 3 spoilers, gotham knights spoiler, assassins creed odyssey and origins spoilers, borderlands presequel spoilers, persona 5 spoilers (or anything i mention currently reading or watching or playing

♱ deeply personal trauma/info that can doxx you (asking for advice is fine), i’m sympathetic but i’m a stranger on the internet. also nothing about hating kids or marriage or people in relationships, at my core i’m an obsessive romantic that wants to get married and have kids someday.

♱ asks that pretend to know me irl or be one of my mutuals, i am paranoid and i will believe you. anything about drugs (other than weed) and mental health medication/anti psychotics unless i’m asking for advice. no selfship stuff unless you’re my mutual, (you can interact obviously i just don’t wanna be messaged about it too heavily). and no hate towards subliminals or reality shifting

♱ any nightwing ship (and the dickbabs cheating thing) that’s not dickkory or him x me, i do not play about that man. so therefore, no nw slander unless i started it lmao.

♱ any anti spirituality or predatory/bigoted christian behavior (those spam sounding ‘you’re going to hell but jesus can save you’ youtube comments) . also no fear mongering when it comes to politics, and no ‘but voting for kamala won’t do anything’ (if you’re in the us just don’t vote for trump idgaf).

♱ meeting my faves irl (esp hayden christensen), i’m so happy for you objectively but my eyes will twitch out of my head.

♱ lewd things directed at me, no strong flirting if you’re not a mutual i’ve known for a bit, any vagueness that my ND brain could not pick up on (say what you mean and i’d appreciate tone tags).

♱ cw dc shows (other than smallville) & disney star wars (check my about me for the shows i like), any strong love for han solo (he’s just a guy to me and also atton rand clears).

♱ eddie munson, tengen uzui from demon slayer, or eren yaeger (sorry, also don’t ask about stranger things or attack on titan in general). also no drake meat riding (i’m a kendrick fan)

♱ the stereotype that southern people are dumb/etc. any hate towards people in extremely rural areas specifically (don’t call me a redneck that gives me the biggest ick)

♱ the whole scott/logan/jean/her clone/emma thing. my main x-men ships are cherik, scott/logan, logan/nightcrawler/storm, mystique/hank, logan/storm, jean/storm, logan/nightcrawler, rogue/gambit, & bobby drake/johnny storm.

♱ anything overtly negative and pessimistic, including sui ideation and/or you having a GENUINE psychotic break or mental breakdown. (i wouldn’t recommend a hotline immediately but if you don’t have a trusted person in you’re circle to talk to they can maybe get you through that moment.)

♱ a demand for a follow4follow type relationship, ‘i’ll reblog your fic ONLY if you’llreblog mine’, any obviously conditional support for example: don’t follow and then once i’ve followed back or reblogged with your posts, unfollow me.

♱ batman being an abusive dad & damien slander, anything having to do with slade or trigon (teen titans trauma, also don’t ask about teen titans go), the ric grayson plot, dc live action movie flash & aquaman (justice league 2004 aquaman is my fav aquaman)

♱ anti anakin/hayden’s acting slander or overtly pro jedi opinions, DO ask me about star wars lore & it’s universe in general bc it’s my number one interest.

♱ larian studios meat riding, hate towards ascended astarion and the people that like him, any mention of that one writer who’s name starts with a w, durgetash/gortash, any astarion ship that’s not him x tav or x reader (esp him x gale), downplaying wyll’s treatment, hate towards evil route players.

♱ pro daemon targaryen sentiments (or disrespectful hotd fandom war behavior of any kind). i’m team green but i love characters from both sides and also it’s not a real war!

if you’re uncomfortable with any of the above topics, filter the tag/content so you won’t have to see it from me

- gladiatorcunt 2023 ++ intro.

[crimson-flow3r]

I've only liked fe3h for a little over a year but I'm being so serious when I say it's probably one of the most important games I've played in my life

when I started, I got it as a "I haven't seen you in 5 years heres some late bday gifts" gift from a friend of my mom. I knew literally nothing about the game, and got to go in completely blind

I spent a solid 10 minutes just staring at the screen for when you get to choose what house you teach -- I could not choose between the black eagles or golden deers. I don't remember why, but I just didn't like the blue lions at all

I eventually chose the black eagles, only because I remember I loved Linhardt's dialogue and him as a character

I fell in love with the group immediately, and found everyone extremely interesting and funny. The characters that intrigued me the most were Edelgard and Linhardt.

I did some non-spoiler research and head that apparently the black eagles split off into two different routes, so I tried my best to get high support with Edelgard

(below this is gonna get more personal and is gonna definitely be a lot more writing so its gonna be under read more lol)

Where the game really clicked for me and ended up becoming so special is Jeralt's death. I lost my own father a few years back, so it was honestly extremely hard to watch the cutscene-- especially since I loved Jeralt so much. But it genuinely helped me work through the trauma of my own dad dying. I had to take a week long break from the game, but it helped me process so much. I feel like I never got to properly mourn my dad's death, but this genuinely helped me.

Seeing Byleth so upset over this, and seeing everyone support him so much-- it was so healing.

Im really connected to Byleth as a character, and see a lot of myself in him. And everyone in the monastery comforting him after Jeralt's death felt like people comforting me.

It just genuinely helped me so much. After that I genuinely learned so much more about myself and how I grieve, and started to heal better. I talked to more people about how I felt, and coped in my own ways [art and fanfiction]. And it was all because of this game. Mourning over Jeralt was like mourning over my own father all over again, but in such a more healing way.

I could also go off for hours about how important the Crimson Flower route is to me. All the characters feel like family to me. Edelgard is such an intriguing character to me and I love her as a house leader so much. Over time of the game I grew to love absolutely every Black Eagle. I also ended up recruiting only Lysithea, so I definitely consider her an honorary black eagle.

Going into the Crimson Flower route completely blind literally changed my life. Every story beat had me on the edge of my seat. Every character interaction made me extremely emotional [have that be happy, sad, or angry depending on who lol].

The last two fights of the route were genuinely heartbreaking. Having to kill Dimitri and Dedue broke my heart. Even though I originally didn't like the Blue Lions, the fandom really made me grow to love them. Going up there and having to kill them made me feel ill. Then, the fight after, having to slay Rhea -- it felt so rewarding and also so upsetting.

I hated having to kill anyone, and I really just wish everyone could be happy lol

But, the point is, there is no story route where everyone is happy.

apologies if nothing makes sense

happy 5th anniversary, fe3h

I love you so much