#miss lemon plays bg3

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, answers under the cut for ease of scrolling! 🤝

Anonymous asked:

"you’re right. i think i’ll perhaps do it as a safety check because i don’t intend to be respectful of the bloodsucker twink lmao. i put him in a ridiculous looking outfit and it’s so hard to take him seriously AT ALL i’ll see how it goes. he’s currently leaving me on ‘Seen’ with an approval rating of 3" Darling (pun intended, sorry, couldn't help myself) it's going to be a problem starting his romance if you're still at 3 approval. I would suggest checking the BG3 wiki, it has most of his approvals and disapprovals listed so you could farm them, but that would be way too immersion breaking to be fair as it goes against the beauty of role playing, at least if you are the type who truly immerses oneself like I am...sometimes I can't bring myself doing things I personally want to do it in a game because it would go against the character I am playing...it's super weird lol.

If romancing him doesn't work out maybe you can go with Gale instead? Or why not maybe Shadowheart will grow on you haha By the way I don't know if I mentioned this but to successfully romance the bloodsucker, you need to sleep with him at least once in act 1. You can't start his romance later.

As for ridiculous looking outfits…here's a suggestion you may want to keep in mind: at the start of act 3 there's a circus where you can loot a clown outfit and buy clown makeup. I put everything on Gale personally because why not? However, sadly the only clown in this whole affair was myself considering I spent 5000 gold on making Astarion a fucking statue, which stayed in my camp for the remainder of act 3. And he didn't even comment on it!!! Well at least I didn't go for the naked version of it, but next time I'm definitely choosing to make a statue for my Tav lmao.

"well the wives are the reason i’ve started to play actually, as counter-productive as that sounds 😂 i have a friend who explained the lore to me, so i know most of astarion’s background and what happens with him, though i don’t remember details, of course. she told me how delulu they are in excusing every thing he does, even his insane decision to become the no 1 ascended vampire boss. how they deceive themselves into believing astarion becomes in love with them if they act like complete doormats and go along with whatever fuckass thing he wants, even if the 'detect thoughts’ option clearly indicates that he thinks badly of them :))"

I didn't want to mention the possible ascension because of spoilers but since you know a lot about him already thanks to your friend…yes, it's all true. The ascension wives are the most unhinged subsect of the Astarion fandom. If you let him do it he even becomes abusive if you are in a romance with him and you'll even have to agree to let him turn into his vampire spawn otherwise he'll break up with you (some of the wives 100% believe he turns you into his vampire bride, but obviously there is nothing in the game confirming this, on the contrary, the evidence is quite flimsy). The craziest thing is the wives think YOU are the abusive one for not letting him sacrifice 7000 souls (including children) in a diabolical ritual, a deal with a fucking archdevil in order to let him ascend, because how can you condemn pookie to a possible life without the sun while still feeling a vampire's hunger? They think you are robbing him of his own agency and infantilizing him. Not to mention that once you get rid of the tadpole, he won't even let you break up with him anymore. Like, at all. You have no choice anymore. He outright laughs at you and says "your future is mine to decide." Also, if you break up with him just before he's about to turn you into his spawn he admits he would've used your love for him against you until "you were nothing", that he appreciates you for doing this, saying he didn't think you had it in you (breaking up with him, that is). Oh and since you mentioned playing the game for meme potential, well, here you also have the option to kick him in the balls when he says "on your knees, darling" to your Tav, before he's about to transform them into a vampire. But be careful, he breaks up and leaves the party permanently after doing this to him lmfao (like any Real Man™ would).

But no, the wives won't hear any of this, in fact they blame you for only choosing the confrontational dialogue options and say that if you are nice to him, he doesn't turn abusive. What??? That's not how this works lmao.

Yes, he has all that power, glory and money if he ascends, but at what cost? He totally loses himself and any positive character growth he had is totally gone and nullified by the ascension. Like yeah he does push for ascending, but does he really need it? There is a difference between wanting something (for all the wrong reasons imho, he can be safe and free without doing this as his good ending proves it) and needing something and you as his friend or lover should know better rather than have him give in into his worst impulses. Tbh I think many of these wives genuinely believe that if he says he wants something, you have to do it because how can you deny your boyfriend this "but he said so!!!". Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them every single time, that's not how actual relationships work. That's not to say one can't enjoy toxic relationships in fiction, but that's not what these people are doing here, let's be real. He actually approves and genuinely thanks you if you talk him out of ascending, by the way. He says he was not himself back then when he was just about do it and although he did not appreciate it at the time, is now grateful for saving him from himself, that you saw and believed he is enough just way he is, that now he is "truly and honestly free". The game couldn't be more clear about this, the parallels, the foreshadowings are all there from the very beginning but everything completely flew over these people's heads. Sure, he gets sad when he loses the tadpole and can't be in the sun anymore but eventually he embraces the shadows (in a good way this time) and realizes he can be free and happy like this as well.

Did your friend mention the fact that the wives also harassed and stalked one one of his writers for calling this ending the bad one for him? Because they did this. (tbh personally I do think that writer unprofessional in how they expressed their opinion but they still didn't deserve to be harassed for it…and it's also not like the text itself doesn't confirm what they said).

I do feel bad for those who do like his evil ending for what it is without trying to whitewash it because they often end up catching strays thanks to the crazies, like people telling them they'll be abused in real life by their partners because they like this version of Astarion…which is not a nice thing to say to someone even online. On the other hand these wives claim they are genuine villain fuckers, that they love Astarion as evil as he can be, they also claim to love dark romances but then they totally dumb down the toxic elements of the relationship with him and turn it into uwuuu loving evil power couple. Come on…they genuinely insist his bad and evil ending is the GOOD one! Most characters have a good and evil or bad ending yet fans of other companions don't pretend the bad ones are secretly the good ones "for reasons" or "but they said so, they said they wanted it". I've yet to meet a Shadowheart fan who genuinely thinks her bad ending is in fact her good one, for example. Or a Lae'zel fan.

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Darling (pun intended, sorry, couldn't help myself) it's going to be a problem starting his romance if you're still at 3 approval.

i shot up to 28 now! 🤙 without basically doing anything evil, apart from letting him feed on Gandrel (but i kept him alive, at least) out of curiosity, i'm going to go back and see if that gained me any approval points or not

I would suggest checking the BG3 wiki, it has most of his approvals and disapprovals listed so you could farm them, but that would be way too immersion breaking to be fair as it goes against the beauty of role playing, at least if you are the type who truly immerses oneself like I am...sometimes I can't bring myself doing things I personally want to do it in a game because it would go against the character I am playing...it's super weird lol.

oh, i am so tempted, but i'm trying to maintain at least a semblance of unpredictability and candor! i totally get not wanting to do smth if the character would be against it

If romancing him doesn't work out maybe you can go with Gale instead? Or why not maybe Shadowheart will grow on you haha By the way I don't know if I mentioned this but to successfully romance the bloodsucker, you need to sleep with him at least once in act 1. You can't start his romance later.

good to know, soldier! 💪i am not refusing any of his (most likely) cringe sex proposals if i can get them 🤡

As for ridiculous looking outfits…here's a suggestion you may want to keep in mind: at the start of act 3 there's a circus where you can loot a clown outfit and buy clown makeup. I put everything on Gale personally because why not?

LOL i have a mod that gave me a clown outfit and i put it on shadowheart 😂 but gale sounds hilarious, too

However, sadly the only clown in this whole affair was myself considering I spent 5000 gold on making Astarion a fucking statue, which stayed in my camp for the remainder of act 3. And he didn't even comment on it!!! Well at least I didn't go for the naked version of it, but next time I'm definitely choosing to make a statue for my Tav lmao.

i was in tears when i read this :))))))))))))))))))) anon, i'm so sorry :)::):):)::):):):):) i can't imagine

i'm fine with letting astarion drain my blood, but i draw the line at spending so much money on his ungrateful arse 😂 priorities 😂

The ascension wives are the most unhinged subsect of the Astarion fandom.

the stories i've heard reveal such a fascinating level of delusion :)) like you said, not being able to accept the distinction between vampire spawn and vampire bride: he tells you (or least i chose that dialogue option) how one can become an actual, full-blown vampire and that no vampire would create a competitor! straight out of his mouth

Not to mention that once you get rid of the tadpole, he won't even let you break up with him anymore. Like, at all. You have no choice anymore. He outright laughs at you and says "your future is mine to decide." Also, if you break up with him just before he's about to turn you into his spawn he admits he would've used your love for him against you until "you were nothing", that he appreciates you for doing this, saying he didn't think you had it in you (breaking up with him, that is).

to think!! i would crawl straight into the depths of the mariana trench 😭 no way is this loser going to pull this level of insolence on mirta

Oh and since you mentioned playing the game for meme potential, well, here you also have the option to kick him in the balls when he says "on your knees, darling" to your Tav, before he's about to transform them into a vampire. But be careful, he breaks up and leaves the party permanently after doing this to him lmfao (like any Real Man™ would).

i puked a little in my mouth 💀

There is a difference between wanting something (for all the wrong reasons imho, he can be safe and free without doing this as his good ending proves it) and needing something and you as his friend or lover should know better rather than have him give in into his worst impulses.

yeah, that's what i was talking with my friend about, that you'd be out of your mind to accept for him to ascend. and, like you said, it would negate any kind of character growth he might have had until then. so far, my friend was able to talk him out of it and he was grateful, whereas my boyfriend didn't have a good enough approval rating so he had to kill him off. very different outcomes!

but neither of them have managed to fuck him so we'll see on which shores the tides of love take us 🤡

Tbh I think many of these wives genuinely believe that if he says he wants something, you have to do it because how can you deny your boyfriend this "but he said so!!!". Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them every single time, that's not how actual relationships work.

very well said!

also, i think that maybe in another game, it would matter more towards making him "happy" if you just went along with everything he says, but the game mechanics here are a little different and it's obviously telegraphing hard that this is Not A Good Path

That's not to say one can't enjoy toxic relationships in fiction, but that's not what these people are doing here, let's be real.

exactly, there needs to be a level of awareness here of what the dynamic actually is, not a senile denial of basic power imbalances

Did your friend mention the fact that the wives also harassed and stalked one one of his writers for calling this ending the bad one for him? Because they did this. (tbh personally I do think that writer unprofessional in how they expressed their opinion but they still didn't deserve to be harassed for it…and it's also not like the text itself doesn't confirm what they said).

not yet, i don't think! she just mentioned that they're very weird with the voice actors as well. she sent me a very long and lachrymose tumblr post, bemoaning that his actor showed his discomfort with ascended!astarion fans during a livestream, how unprofessional and hurt they were by this very normal reaction

on a different note, she showed me the post with the life-sized astarion sex doll someone commissioned

I do feel bad for those who do like his evil ending for what it is without trying to whitewash it because they often end up catching strays thanks to the crazies, like people telling them they'll be abused in real life by their partners because they like this version of Astarion…which is not a nice thing to say to someone even online.

of course, you can enjoy even that ending. i can see myself playing with my friends and making the most idiotic choices, howling with laughter. every one has a kind of setup that allows them to revel in the silliness or (why not) the kink-factor of these situations. it's the "convincing yourself this isn't abusive" part that's the issue

On the other hand these wives claim they are genuine villain fuckers, that they love Astarion as evil as he can be, they also claim to love dark romances but then they totally dumb down the toxic elements of the relationship with him and turn it into uwuuu loving evil power couple.

i wanted to highlight this because it's so true and something i've seen in more fandoms as well. i would say that aly$m0nd was a similar case, where a lot of shippers refused to engage with any potentially problematic aspects of their relationship and just pushed a sanitized true love narrative.

I will address the rest all at once without quoting separately since it's faster. Hopefully I didn't miss anything important:

The spear you found in Withers' place is okay for Shadowheart momentarily but it will soon become obsolete as you will find a much better weapon for her just before entering act 2. It's a mace called "The Blood of Lathander" and is located somewhere within the Githyanki Creche (you will have to go there as it's part of Lae'zel quest). Just deal with the giths first and then go and search for the weapon. It's super good for clerics especially and it's one of those weapons that is effective even in act 3 by the end of the game.

I heard about this mace! I will keep an eye out for it. Add it to my list of items I need to find while still in Act 1.

Entering turn based mode is also a good idea when stealing from merchants.

Yeah the weightless consumables mod is a must have. It seems useless now but when you start collecting all kinds of arrows, potions, scrolls, gold you will become encumbered really, really quick.

I'll see how much longer I'll mentally last with loading and unloading all of the crap I pick up. :))

I think you can sneak past Ethel's masked servants, some players managed to do it (perhaps you could try and make everyone invisible?). Personally I fought them as I didn't want to complicate myself by trying to sneak.

Oh yeah, I go more in detail in my last post about my Ethel adventures.

The Ethel point, if not used on your character, might very well go on one of your companions as I may have said in one of my previous asks. If anyone's main stat is still 17 use it to get it to 18. Then use the ability increase feat to even other odd ability points left? Mayrina will be angry with you no matter what you do so don't worry, it will pass.

So, I requested an INT +1. And my plan currently is to summon the ogres when I go to the goblin camp, make sure they die, if not felled by goblins, then by my hand, and pick up the Circlet of Intelligence or whatever it's called. It pumps INT up to 17, I think? I can then dump all of my INT numbers down to the minimum of 8, add Ethel's +1 and I'm up to 18. With a lot of points free to distribute someplace else. If I can get my hands on the Gloves of Dexterity, too, I can almost turn Mirta into a tank. I feel that secretly she longs for the bloodsong of the battlefield, but is keeping real quiet about it. :))

Nice that you persuaded the ogres to fight for you!!

You got the necromancy book? That's great. Buuuut you might have wanted to take Astarion with you as he has an interest in it. Giving it to him will also grant A LOT of approval (10 points I believe?) which is desirable since you want to romance him. And no, he won't do anything funny with it, the book will be safe in his hands. I mentioned in a previous ask about trusting and agreeing with some of his less insane suggestions, well, this is one of them.

Thank you so much for this suggestion! I wouldn't have known otherwise. There are a lot of details or paths in this game that you could easily miss, some of them very random!

As for your latest incident I should've mentioned that trusting him to NOT drain you dry isn't a good idea lol. I'm sorry once again however it's still extremely funny what he did to poor Mirta. At least she punched him!!

She's in her emo princess era currently. No time like the present to bust out the intense eye makeup!

After you are done with all the side quests in the area you can go to the goblin camp and do what's needed to be done there without needing to kill ALL of them. Rescue Halsin if you want to (he is a nice guy but a boring character overall and the bear sex stunt turned me off his character a bit I fear) and kill the goblin leaders. Not sure if you know, but one of their leaders (Minthara) can be recruited later in act 2 if you knock her out. So no killing - so don't use spells and ranged weapons on her if you want her to survive and have her in your party eventually.

Yeah, the bear sex I honestly find hilarious. I'm going to try to recruit as many as I can, because free labour and help? Why not? Though I'm not sure I can have both Minthara and Halsin in my camp (apparently they can't stand each other?). My bf said I had to choose, but I wonder if I can't get those two crazy cats to get along with my high CHA.

You may want to expose Kagha and the shadow druids before doing the goblin camp.

Good to know, thanks!

This is weird, when it comes to dialogues you should have the possibility to select the Friends cantrip in the bonus section before you roll the dice. It should be there near Shadowheart's guidance. Once you select it two dices will show up on your screen, then the dice with the higher number will be taken into consideration. You may have a bug if it doesn't show up. But yes other than dialogues, there's not much practicality for it.

You're right about that, I will reconsider the Friends cantrip later on maybe. I imagine I get more cantrip slots as I progress.

Also, if you want access to the Guidance cantrip, there is a necklace that grants you this spell so you won't need to drag Shadowheart around you. (a short video with the location so I don't have to explain it to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_abMisavwU )

This would be so useful, thank you very much!!! V excited about this!

Yep, Dancing Lights disarming traps and vents is apparently a thing which I found out quite late in the game. I always threw stones and random weapons at vents to cover them and then I had Astarion disarm them and any other traps.

As for lightning and ice spells or cantrips: Shocking Grasp and Ray of Frost are the only cantrips available, but you may want to look into spells. I know the temptation is to not spend your spell slots and focus on cantrips since you can cast them endlessly but trust me, sometimes you'll have to use spells. Once you hit level 5 you'll begin to have access to other cool lightning and ice spells. Lightning Bolt and Glyph of Warding (this one lets you choose the type of damage you will deal and both ice and lightning are available - Shadowheart as a cleric will also have access to this spell) and on later levels there are even more cool ones. You probably missed this one but on early levels there is also Chromatic Orb which is similar to the Glyph.

Oh, yeah, I do use spells, too, but you never know when you might need an elemental cantrip you can cast without limit.

The only items Gale can eat will have a text written under them that should say something like "Gale can absorb this item". He has standards, he won't eat just anything!

Too bad I didn't figure that one out sooner, but no real harm done!

Not you giving Gale the Dancing Lights amulet. You are right that it is redundant but it has sentimental value since it's from Arabella's parents. How could you???

The bard hat must be worn by a bard, even if you gain that ability from Alfira it won't work on your character. Bards, depending on their current level, have a number of "Bardic Inspiration Poins" which are similar to cleric's Guidance cantrip and will grant other party members bonuses when they roll their dices. Some of their attack actions are also dependent on this system and may cost bardic inspiration points. If you don't intend to respect someone into a bard or use multiclass (a feature that's not available on your difficulty level anyway) on a party member, then the hat will be useless and Gale can eat it.

Oh.... Well, it was worth a shot. I did look goofy while wearing it. Gave it to Gale after all.

Gloves of uncommon power? Did you mean gloves of power? They are fine on Lae'zel or maybe even better on Astarion due to the Sleight of Hand +1 bonus. You could give them to Gale and then buy the Gloves of Thievery for Astarion from the Zhentarim merchant (I think you need to deliver the shipment from the caravan to them without opening it in order to have access to them and other cool items from full inventory).

These names sort of blend into each other after a while. :)) I'm writing down the Gloves of Thievery, thanks. :))

thank you for the Magnus Archives podcast link!

You're very welcome, I hope you liked the episode!

Anonymous asked:

"lmao anon don't worry! i genuinely did it for the lols at least i got him to an 18 approval rating for me, more than karlach, lae'zel OR gale somehow (motherfucker, and this is AFTER i gave him an artefact to consume)" Thanks the gods lol, I was surprised a bit since most players did not genuinely trust him to not do something stupid. The fact that you have options to make him stop is enough of a warning imho, the game is pretty much like "are you sure about trusting him, hmm?".

Tell me about it, but you can't really think clearly with vampire fangs down your neck, right? ☠

And how did you manage to have fucking Gale at a lower approval lmao, now I feel stupid for suggesting in my other message to go for him instead if you can't manage to romance the vampire. Gale and Shadowheart were the only ones I managed to have much high numbers compared to Astarion, and quite early on. Karlach was the hardest for me, followed by Lae'zel.

I'll have to check how I stand with them in this post-Ethel administration! 💪 Shadowheart and Wyll are quite keen on me.

"i'm glad he's fucking "happy", what can i say 🤡 maybe now we're not going to fail every perception check in ethel's cave at least. we're going TODAY so i can benefit from this bonus (i did work my arse off for if after all!)" From now on up until the end of the game you can use his bite ability on enemies when in combat and he will gain the "Happy" condition each time, including the +1 bonus. Alternatively, you can also have Mirta become his willing blood bag and invite him to feed on her each night or so lol & the following morning he will gain the condition that way as well, but I think letting him feed on enemies is better.

Yeah, I can imagine the blood bank fics, 😅 but, unfortunately (or fortunately for the sane ones amongst us), Mirta would wake up with some of her abilities depleted at the cost of Astarion's boosts. And that doesn't really work for her since she's discovered her own penchant for dueling after her brush with death. How can she take all that damage enemies frontload on her in combat otherwise? 💬

A fun happening which I forgot to mention previously but there is this Rha*nicent fan art that's been living rent free in my head ever since I saw it back in august (link: https://x.com/kknoahh/status/1825991659835867357) with short haired Rha*nyra, who I genuinely thought to be…Astarion at first. I was like who the fuck started to ship Alicent with him lmao, like can you imagine this crackship.

Oh my goodness, Rhaenyra really does look like him. 😳 Alicent really out there catching all strays and being shipped with anyone with the slightest potential of becoming psychosexually obsessed with her. :))

Have fun at the birthday party!!

Thanks so much, it was nice to go out and see my friends!

Anonymous asked:

Well, Gale isn't in a position to criticize Astarion for hiding his true nature, to be fair. You'll find out soon enough when he confesses the full truth about his condition and why he really needs to consume all those magical artefacts. I don't remember if the rest of your companions have something to say each time after you give items to Gale to eat but after you feed him for the third and final time they should have something to say if you click on them, at least those who are in your active party at the time (again, no exclamation mark will show up above them).

This tip has proven very useful and I always make sure to check on them at the end of the day and after I hit long rest. Most of them did comment on Gale some way the other, but NONE of them had ANYTHING to day that the leech spawn KILLED ME. Forsooth!

Astarion will be like "who would hide something like this from his friends? you can't trust anyone this days", which is quite hilarious considering Gale was more understanding lol.

This line is even funnier if you think he's being self-aware while saying it. :))

I may offer you a hint that won't spoil anything: make a quicksave to be sure just in case and then use Astarion's bite ability on Gale. You'll see that something is wrong with the guy… ;)

He did ask me whose blood I'd suck, which was quite hilarious, and insisted I'd answer. :)) I picked Gale for the lols, hoping it would trigger what you said, but nothing happened. I guess fang boy abides by our deal and keeps to hunting animals? Who would have thought? But maybe I'll try to bite Gale tonight, to see what he does.

Unfortunately, backgrounds don't matter so much, Tav is pretty much a blank slate. You get some specific skill proficiencies and maybe some unique dialogue options here and there but other than that? Pretty much nothing, except for also receiving inspiration points. It's really a missed opportunity and one of my main criticisms of the game, there are plenty of occasions in the game where your background could've been taken into into consideration. You actually gave a good example about perhaps being allowed into spaces common born people aren't, but unless I missed something, nothing like this happens. You even meet Baldurian nobles in act 3 and you have no dialogue options with any of them when normally you should've been familiarized with at least some of them, being a noble yourself. Two of your possible companions, Wyll and Minthara, are of noble birth as well and you can't have a noble to noble conversation with them (you have a noble dialogue option with Minthara but only if you play as a drow noble, other races aren't acknowledged and as far as I can recall, Wyll has no specific dialogue for other nobles).

That's unfortunate. It would have been a great addition. Like, I imagine noble characters could start out with more coin in their pockets or that common-borns could have streets smarts (survival proficiency) or knowledge about the local flora or fauna or small settlements. I sometimes have dialogue with people about aspects my tav should already be aware of, even general world-building stuff, like fellow races or just current events. :))

Also, it's rather annoying to be playing a Baldurian character but they're seemingly unaware of anything going on in Baldur's gate. For example, Mirta should have been aware of Cazador, I feel? At the very least that there's a coven of vampires in her home city and that no one is doing anything about it. :)) Or just generally question Astarion's magistrate background.

Good luck with Ethel!!

Thank you! Whole other post below on my hag struggles. :)

[theonewiththefanfics]

Homecoming (one-shot)

Synopsys: When Y/N goes missing during a simple supply run, she comes back with world-shattering news for Astarion. News he never thought to hear, and now he has a decision to make, one that will shift his life on its axis once more.

Set after the main events of BG3

Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, a bit of SMUT, but nothing explicit

Warnings: talks of blood, injuries, swearing, mentions of abuse, but nothing explicit, kidnapping

Word count: 8397

A/N: I have not played Baldur's Gate 3 (I don't own a PS or a PC where to play it. all of this is based on the info gathered online and through Neil's own gameplay etc. Please be kind :) )

Part 2(ish) - Love Conquers All (one-shot)

A home was not something to ever be taken for granted, that much they had learned during their adventures.

A home was a fire slowly crackling in the hearth, warmth expanding through the living room. A home was Astarion sitting on a loveseat, a book in his hands while he waited for his love to finish puttering around in the kitchen. A home was drying tea leaves and making preserves for the coming winter as she shooed him out, saying that his fussing would only hinder her process.

He’d huffed, puffed and whined, trying to make Y/N pull away from her plans just so they could curl up and read together, but she was adamant.

“I’ve already started.” She dropped an orange peel and pressed some lemon juice into the steaming pot. “It’ll be wasted produce if I just leave it now.”

“But it will take you hours!” Astarion whined like a child and even stomped his foot, making her snort.

“And it will take me twice as long if you don’t stop annoying me.” Y/N threw him a saccharine smile over her shoulder, batting her lashes at the pouting vampire. “Now, be a good boy, and quit pestering me. We’ll have all the time in the world, once I’m done.”

Astarion just groaned, going up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, the incisors he usually sank into her neck now nipping at her lobe. “I can be a very good boy if you only let me prove it.”

“My love, you will be getting absolutely no sex from me, if you don’t let me at least finish this batch.” A shiver rushed down her spine as he licked at her neck, so close to that sweet spot he always used as a place to bite and drink from. But she had to be strong. The jams wouldn’t make themselves. “Every additional minute you keep me from this will be an additional day of your dry spell.”

The vampire spawn jumped back from her as if he’d been scalded, scarlet eyes narrowing in on her. “You wouldn’t dare. You wouldn’t last an hour!”

Y/N turned around, crossing her arms as a devious smile bloomed on her lips, a brow raised in challenge. “Would you like to test those waters?”

Astarion stood, staring her down. His crimson gaze was blazing from underneath his lashes, but she didn’t budge. They’d played this game for close to three years as a couple now, and she’d learned very quickly – Astarion was very much so a cat. But especially – he was a cat that liked to knock things over while keeping direct eye contact with you, though the second you placed a palm underneath whatever it was he wanted for to fall, all his need for chaos disappeared. It just wasn’t fun anymore.

For twenty long seconds, Y/N and her pale elven lover didn’t break, hoping the other would crumble and be announced as the loser, but part of what he loved about her, was her stubbornness. It was because of that part of her personality, she’d stuck by him when his doubts had crept in, when his own mind called him worthless and not good enough for her, almost as if to spite those vicious words in his mind. She didn’t give up on the people she loved, and as luck would have it, Astarion owned her heart.

But Y/N also knew how to handle a cat like him, so just after a few more tense moments, his eye twitched, and he huffed in defeat.

“Fine,” he scoffed. “But if you are not done by sundown, I shall have no other option but to drag you away from the stove. Kicking and screaming preferred.”

Y/N simply shook her head, and went to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the man into a deep, breathless kiss, but not before nipping at his bottom lip, dragging the piece of flesh between her teeth and making him let out a desperate moan. “I’ll even let you tie me up if you wish to do so.”

Astarion’s pupils almost swallowed the red irises in a matter of seconds, as he threw his head back in a groan. “My love, you’re absolutely killing me here.”

“Then I hope whatever punishment you deem fit for me, will be just oh, so sweet.” Y/N stepped back, untangling herself from him, but the mischievousness in her eyes didn’t lessen.

She could see how the words tortured him, how it took every single last piece of his fraying self-control, to not rip off her apron and the clothes underneath and just lay her down on the kitchen table, legs spread with his mouth licking into her until she orgasmed.

With eyes holding nothing but pure lust and hands clenching and unclenching, Astarion retreated. Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t hot and bothered and absolutely dripping between her thighs, and the thought of finishing those jams was the last thing on her mind, but she did have to do it. If only to keep him waiting longer, knowing whatever his beautiful brain was cooking up would leave her screaming and shaking for hours.

They’d been growing their own vegetables and fruits, Y/N tending to them during the nights to spend more time with Astarion as he fussed over his flower gardens, so it would simply be wasteful to leave their berries to rot. The year had been very generous and offered a variety of things to gather, so a while back, she’d decided to pickle some of the tomatoes and cucumbers, turn another batch of peppers and tomatillos into sauces while the sweeter things would be turned into syrups and jams.

Y/N shook her head, trying to clear it from the haze of lust, as the aroma of lemons and cranberries, raspberries and oranges wafted all around, encasing her in the scent. She was just about to add the sugar when the tin rattled with the sound of the last grains left.

Her brow furrowed as she opened the lid and looked inside. Sure, enough it was empty.

The woman huffed. She was absolutely positive she’d gotten the right amount during the last trip, but somewhere along the way it seemed a miscalculation had happened, and now she had to get more. Y/N would have asked Astarion, and had the sun dipped below the horizon, he would have jumped at the request, but alas his little vampiric predicament forbade him from walking during the day, the sun still high in the sky from what she could see through a tiny slit in the shutters.

Quickly, Y/N snuffed out the flame below the pot, untied her dirtied apron and grabbed a basket from the pantry, tying a pouch of coins to her side. She only needed sugar, but maybe she would grab some other necessities as well. They were low on Astarion’s favourite wine, one he claimed didn’t taste like vinegar at least.

“I’m off to the market really quick,” Y/N announced as she peeked into the living room, taking in Astarion as he flipped a page in a book. “Do you want anything?”

“No, my love.” He looked at her like a love-sick puppy. “Just your darling self back as quick as you can. I have picked up some… inspiration for your punishment if you will. Just as you suggested, of course.” He closed the book, showing the cover to her.

Heat crawled all over her body as she read the title, one of her smuttier romances she had started to read, and when she could do nothing but gulp and nod, his smile turned from a sweet one into a wicked-fanged thing. It was all she needed to know whatever awaited her once she was done would leave her unable to walk. Gods, she needed to finish this whole thing up as quickly as she could.

Y/N was out the doors like the wind, the usual stroll to the market cut from half an hour into a brisk fifteen-minute jog, the thoughts of the man waiting back home for her at the forefront of her mind.

The needed sugar, some coffee beans, a loaf of fresh bread, Astarion’s wine and some sour cream were all bought in quick succession, Y/N didn’t even try to haggle. Her eyes drifted across various stalls and merchants and she almost deemed it done when her gaze caught onto a rose seedling. It was a beautiful bloom with blood-red petals that whitened at the very tips. She smiled and went to buy it. Astarion would love the symbolism even if a bit too on the nose.

Once satisfied with everything, Y/N marched across the market and was back on the road to home. It was a humble little house they’d purchased with whatever had been left in their pockets after all was said and done with the tadpoles, but Astarion had bigger plans. This was only a temporary situation.

“I want a whole room full of books. Nothing but books from one end to the other and then some,” he’d confided in Y/N one night after both were panting and spent from multiple rounds of bringing the other to ecstasy.

“And a large ballroom,” he continued, and Y/N couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped her.

“A ballroom? And what will we do with that?”

“Why, have grand balls, of course!” He threw his hands up in the air as if her question was preposterous.

“Star…” Y/N tilted her head to look up at him from where she was lying on his naked chest. “You hate people. A ballroom full of them – it would be your literal nightmare.”

“I don’t hate people.”

“I don’t count.”

“Alright,” he conceded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Y/N placed her palm atop where his heart was and rested her chin on it, looking deep into his eyes. “I hate most people, simply dislike them, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a get-together, from time to time. Maybe… maybe see our friends. Catch up on how they’re doing. I absolutely despise to admit this and will say you are lying if you ever mention it to anyone, but I – I miss them… even Gale…”

A gentle smile lifted her lips as she brushed a wild curl out of his face and tucked it behind his pointy ear. “I think I’d really like that too.”

His eyes were so soft and full of love, that Y/N swore she could feel his heart beating once more in his chest, thudding against her palm in a confession of adoration.

She was almost out of the city by that point, already on the small, secluded road leading to their house which lay on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate right by the edges of the woods, so Astarion had easier access to game in between feeding on her when her attention was drawn back by someone calling out.

“Miss!” the voice, male she made out, yelled after her. “Miss, please wait!”

Instantly, her guard was up, but when a breathless man, looking to be in his late sixties appeared from behind a copse of trees, she somewhat relaxed. Y/N was still cautious, but if anything, she had a dagger holstered against her thigh. She was always prepared.

“Miss,” he gasped out, leaning his hands against his knees to catch his breath. “Miss, you are a quick one. I’ve been calling for you since by the rose stalls."

“Oh, I – I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you!” Y/N said but didn’t move forward. “How can I help?”

He huffed, as if regaining her breath, before fishing out a piece of fabric from his pocket, and extending it towards her. “You dropped this by the flowers.”

When she took a closer look at what he was holding, it seemed to be some sort of a silk scarf. She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t own silk scarves and definitely hadn’t worn one on such a warm day. “You must have mixed me up with someone, as it’s not mine. Sorry, for you to have troubled yourself like this.”

“No.” The man furrowed his brow, taking a step closer. “I am fairly certain I saw you drop it. Such a fine piece… didn’t want you to lose it.”

Y/N took a step back, angling herself in a defensive position with the basket in front of her. She didn’t like the tone he was speaking in, nor the way his eyes seemed to be appraising her. “No,” she asserted. “It’s not mine.”

His back stiffened, eyes growing cold, the grip on the scarf tightening as he hummed. “Well… a pity then.”        

She took another step back, but he was already lunging at her.

Dropping the basket to the ground, she reached for the knife strapped at her thigh, but he was quick as a viper as she hadn’t even noticed when a rope appeared in his hands, lashing it at her. Years of having fought had kept her agile and aware, but years of domestic bliss with Astarion had dulled her senses a bit.

The rope caught and wrapped around her ankle, knocking her to the ground. Y/N’s teeth clattered and snapped, her tongue almost in between them, but as he rushed to pin her down, she twisted her leg around the rope and pulled, making the man lose his balance and stumble.

It was enough for her to swipe her leg underneath his, and send him sprawling. It was enough for her to untangle her legs and roll away as he snapped it at her head. Her clothes were dirty as was her face, but it didn’t matter. She’d cover herself in blood if needed.

It was almost animalistic how she pounced – teeth bared, a snarl ripping from her throat and hands forming claws as if she would gouge at his face with just his nails, but as her palm brushed her thigh, unclipping the holster for her dagger, Y/N didn’t see the man had crouched on his knee and swung the cord.

It knocked the air out of her, as it wrapped around her chest, and he pulled her down, hard. Her ribs were screaming as the tether tightened and tightened with every pull, but as she thought this would be it, something strange happened – instead of offering her the killing blow, he opened a palm, now covered in a leather glove, and blew the contents of it onto her face.

Y/N coughed and sputtered, but whatever it was, was fast-acting and her lungs, still incapable of proper breathing due to the rope couldn’t expel it. In just a few seconds, the bright day around her turned into darkness.

She didn’t know how long she was unconscious for, but enough time had passed to dry out her throat. Or was that a side effect of whatever was blown into her face? In any case, as she slowly came to, Y/N noted there was a soft mattress under her body, which was an oddity for someone kidnapped. She could even tell the dagger was still by her thigh, the comforting weight of the blade pressed under her. Even weirder, if you asked her, to not disarm your victims.

Darkness still encompassed her, but the soft cloth against her cheeks told her she hadn’t permanently lost her vision, but with her sight obscured, she had to rely on her ears. That’s when voices invaded her senses.

There were three people somewhere further away, most likely in a different room if taken by how muffled the words were. She focused harder on what they were saying.

Two men and a female, Y/N differentiated, when the woman spoke.

“This is not what we agreed upon!” she hissed, and a grumbly-sounding man scoffed.

“You said to get her to you. I did. You never specified how.” It was the same man who’d knocked her out.

“We want her to help us!” A different male voice, this one softer, even kinder, rebutted. “I highly doubt kidnapping is a good incentive for that!”

“Look,” her assailant said. “I fulfilled my end of the deal. She is unhurt, maybe she'll sport a couple of bruises and a headache, but that is her own fault. She could have come willingly but didn’t. Other than that, though – she is completely fine. Now you do your part!”

As the trio argued between themselves, more angry whispers than shouting, Y/N started to shimmy her hands which had been bound, out of the restraints. She had a good inclination they needed her alive but had no want of staying as a prisoner.

Though her fighting skills seemed to have mellowed, which she was not happy about, even a couple of years without mortally dangerous adventures, hadn’t changed how quickly she could slip her wrists from their bindings.  Astarion might need to get more creative during their debauchery.

Y/N froze the second she heard a door open and shut, two pairs of footsteps moving closer and closer to where she was. Her breathing was shallow and almost imperceptible, as she tried to make it look like she was still unconscious.

She could sense two bodies enter the room and one move to stand where she faced, the other going to her back.

Y/N tensed. In just a few moments, whoever was behind her, would notice her undone binds. But she’d be ready.

“Darling, please be careful,” the woman said, a tremble in her voice.

Good. Let them be scared.

“Don’t worry,” the man replied. “I’ll just make sure she’s – what in the -”

But Y/N was already up, the blindfold off and ready to pounce. This time, she’d have the upper hand.

For a second, the light in the room blinded her, but her sight refocused fast enough to take in her captors’ faces.

The woman was beautiful, with high rosy cheekbones, and jade green eyes so vivid they looked like actual gemstones. Her hair was long and dark, down to her waist while grey strands seemed to have invaded the brown tresses in some places, but she was still ethereally gorgeous, her pointy ears covered in piercings.

Y/N snapped out of the shock quicker and using this to her advantage, she was behind her in a matter of a blink, her dagger pressed tight against her throat.

A gasp entered her ears, but she just pressed the blade harder, making her whimper.

“Please!” the man made her look at him, but instead of bracing for an attack, he had his hands up in surrender. “Please don’t hurt her! We just want to talk.”

“Funny way of having a conversation you’ve got there.” Y/N tightened her grip on the knife, surveying the man. Again, those same pointed ears, but his eyes were the most brilliant blue she’d ever seen and his face was marred with more age lines than the woman’s, yet he still was as gorgeous as she. “Typically, only my enemies would knock me out and tie me up before spilling their grand plans. But I will be kind and give you a choice – what would you like to be – friends or foes?”

“Friends! Friends! Please! We – we’re looking for our son!” the elven man pleaded. “And we – we heard a rumour that you might know him. Have even seen him.”

Y/N narrowed her Y/E/C eyes, piercing his with her gaze. “I’ve known and seen a lot of people. Usually, others just ask me about them, they don’t have someone kidnap me.”

“And we’re sorry, we’re so very sorry, but we had to make sure you came. It went too far and we apologise, but please…” He took in a deep breath, worried eyes flipping between his partner and her. “Our son – his name is Astarion. Astarion Ancunin. Have you – do you know of him?”

Hearing his name, knocked the breath out of her as if they’d snapped a rope around her chest again, making her stumble back. Her grip on the woman released, and she used the moment to leap over to her partner, using the bed as a buffer. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her half behind his back, but not before checking if Y/N’s dagger had pierced the skin.

Tears brimmed in the eleven woman’s green eyes as she looked at her, not even caring that just a moment before she was so close to having her blood dripping on the floor. “Please,” she whispered. “I – I know we didn’t go about it the right way, but please… is it true he’s alive?”

"I,” Y/N stammered, her gaze snapping back and forth between the two.

Astarion.

They were Astarion’s parents.

Even after all this time, they were searching for their missing son.

Y/N should have noticed the details – how the woman had a small mole on her cheek right where Astarion did, how the shape of the man’s eyes was the exact same as his son’s. Astarion even had the same high cheekbones as his mother while his sharp jaw was that of his father.

What had his eyes been like before? Green like his mother’s or the sky blue of his father's? What had he been like as a child? No doubt as mischievous and scheme-prone as he was now, but who had he gotten it from? So many different questions rattled through Y/N’s brain as she kept glancing back and forth, before shaking her head and pulling her out of the shocked stupor.

“You – you’re Ancunins?” She had to ask. Had to make sure she hadn’t overheard them or maybe hallucinating because of the powder she’d inhaled.

“Yes.” The woman nodded, brushing tears from under her eyes. “Our son has been missing for more than two hundred years, and we almost lost hope until… until we heard about you and your company a few years back. How one of the party members resembled our little Star so much.”

They hadn’t been inconspicuous, though they had tried, so it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that tales of their adventures had gone far and wide, especially after saving Baldur’s Gate, killing Cazador and the absolute, and Gods know how many other evils along the way. But she never thought Astarion’s parents would have heard of it.

In fact, Astarion had barely even mentioned them over the years, and, for whatever reason, Y/N had concluded they must have passed, despite knowing elves lived extremely long lives. Had he maybe tried to find them on his own and couldn’t? Or had he forgotten about them?

Until Astarion and Y/N had become an official couple and she’d commissioned a portrait of him as a gift on an anniversary, he hadn’t even seen himself in two centuries. He’d forgotten what he looked like. It didn’t seem too crazy to assume, the memories of his parents’ names or their faces, might’ve slipped away as well, or even the love they had for him. Especially knowing how deeply Cazador had ruined that notion for him.

She needed to get home. She needed to see Astarion, and then she could figure out what to do.

“I need to go.” Y/N nodded to herself, muttering under her breath. “I need to think.”

“No, please!” the woman lunged, trying to grasp at her, but she had a knife pointed at her chest in an instant, making the elf shrivel back, but still, she pleaded. “Please help us. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate! If you can’t help, who will?”

“I promise I will do my best,” Y/N said. “But I need time… I – I need to figure all of this out.”

Her mind was swirling like a hurricane, but the man interrupted her breakdown as she realised how pretty much her in-laws, had kidnapped her. “At least tell us this – is – is it true he is alive? Or have we travelled across Faerun under the pretences of false hope?”

In truth, Y/N wanted to take them by the arms and drag them to her house, but whether Astarion wanted to reach out and reconnect, was up to him. That sort of a choice was not hers to make, but she could grant them this one request.

“He is.” Y/N nodded.

And then she left as quickly as she could because if she had to stand there and watch as the elves crumbled into one another, cries of relief and joy escaping into the slowly setting day, she would crumble too. Their faces were already permanently burned into her mind, and she needed a moment to process everything.

By a stroke of luck or fate, Y/N instantly recognised she was in the woods on the other side of Baldur’s Gate, so retracing her steps to the market was fairly easy even though the whole way back home, she was pretty much stumbling around in a daze, knocking into people and tripping over her own two legs.

Her discarded basket was right where she’d left it, gold coins scattered around it. The pouch must’ve broken during the struggle. Y/N made sure to pick every single piece up and was more than relieved to see, that the rose bloom was still intact.

By the time she arrived, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, and as the last rays warmed her back, she extended her palm to open the door, though she didn’t even get to touch the handle as it was ripped open by a visibly distressed Astarion.

His eyes looked like he’d been crying, his hair as if he’d been relentlessly raking his fingers through the locks and his lower lip so bitten, there was a small hole where one of his incisors had gone through.

“Oh, thank the Gods!” Astairon instantly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in a bone-crushing hug, burying his nose into the crook of her neck. “Thank the Gods!”

Y/N dropped the basket over the threshold and closed the door with her foot, her own arms weaving around his middle, a palm soothingly brushing along his side, as he soaked her in.

“I’m alright, Star,” she said, kissing his temple and didn’t even make a noise as he gripped her waist tighter, right where bruises were forming. “I’m sorry I was gone so long, but I’m alright.”

“What happened? You said you’d be quick, but you were gone for hours! And you know what the worst part was – I couldn’t even go out looking for you because of the damned fucking sun!” Astarion cupped her face, turning it this way and that way, trying to find any injuries, but the biggest one would be in her head as she tried to figure out how to explain to him what had happened. “Gods, I am never letting you out of my sight again!”

Y/N indulged the vampire in the hug he pulled her in, holding him against her chest, trying to comfort him, but she was way too consumed with her new findings. Too quickly, as evident by the frown on Astarion’s face, she untangled herself from the embrace, anxiety immediately flashing over his handsome features.

She slid her arms from around his waist to take his palms into hers. “I – I don’t even know how to say this… How do you say something like that?”

Worry instantly marred his brow, and Y/N pressed a practised thumb between them, trying to soothe them away.

“Shit…” he muttered. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No!” She cupped his cheeks. “Astarion you’ve done nothing!”

“Then – then what?” He was tentative, still, scared Y/N might be angry at him. Or worse – wanted to leave, but her next words erased all that doubt.

“I…” She took in a deep breath. “Astarion, I met your parents today.”

Whatever he had expected, clearly that hadn’t been it. Probably a confession she’d met a past love, that their feelings were reignited and she wanted to go with them. But definitely not that.

He blinked once, twice, trice, completely and utterly stupefied before a small whisper of “What?” passed his lips.

“It’s why I’m so late,” Y/N explained. “They’d heard a rumour, that I knew you and had travelled with you during our tadpole situation, and came to me. Astarion, your parents are looking for you…”

A million thoughts seemed to swirl in his head, but Y/N held onto his hand through all of them.

“What,” he cleared his throat, “what did you tell them?”

“That I’d find them once I figured out what to do?”

“Which means?”

“Which means I would come home, give you this information and let you figure out what you’d like to do…”

So many emotions flashed across his face, but Y/N no longer needed that mind flayer tadpole connection it created – Astarion was an open book for her to read.

Joy. Such indisputable joy shone in his scarlet eyes before being consumed by confusion. Then anger and disgust and love, but by the end of it all his heart settled on one feeling – fear.

It’s what it knew best, though Y/N had tried her hardest to reduce it to ashes, yet still it lingered. She understood it, despite not being happy he ever had to feel it.

He feared what to do, what would be the right choice to make, he feared their reactions and what they would say of his disappearance or of his newest… condition. Would they accept him? Or would they be repulsed by him?

“What – what would I even say to them?” Astarion searched her Y/E/C eyes as if they held an answer, but when one magically didn’t appear, he hung his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I can’t even remember what they looked like. Their names, the house we used to live in… it’s all a fog.”

Y/N tried to give him an encouraging smile. “Well, your mother – she has the most beautiful green eyes. Like that dress you made for me for Summer Solstice, that same shade. And – and she has a little beauty mark on her cheek.” With a gentle thumb, she brushed over the mole. “Right in that same spot.”

His brows furrowed in concentration; his lips pinched tightly. “I – I remember blue eyes. Not green.”

“That might be your father's. His are azure I’d say. Like the summer sky. Gods, Astarion,” Y/N breathed out. “You look so much like them, but… honestly, the only thing you need to know right now is that they looked relieved.” Her voice was soothing as he tried to find lies in her words, but there would be none. “I didn’t tell them anything apart from the fact that you’re alive, and all I saw was complete and utter relief.”

Y/N placed a strand of hair behind his ear as he pondered. His carmine eyes slid to hers. “Do they want to see me?”

“Yes. It was the whole reason they sought me out because I might have a single scrap of information on you.” She’d mention the kidnapping later. Or maybe never, depending on how everything went. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

“Is it,” he hesitated, as if ashamed to be asking such a question. “Is it alright if I think this over for a bit? I’m just – there’s so much going on in my head…”

“Of course, Star!” Y/N cupped his cheeks and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, his shoulders dropping, but she just shook her head.

“Nothing to thank me for. Not for this.”

And so, they continued on like that for a few days – Y/N didn’t bring the subject up, but she made sure Astarion knew, she’d be there whenever he needed to talk. Yet her mind couldn’t help but worry about the two elves in that little cottage on the other side of the town. How horrid it must be to wait for an answer that might never come, but her love was her first and only priority. When he decided it would be time, she’d support him no matter what.

It was a week after the revelation (and subsequent freakout on Astarion’s part when Y/N had removed her clothes before him, and he saw the raw skin and bruises on her ribs. She spent the whole night convincing him it was fine and talking him down from hunting the mercenary and bleeding him dry. She didn’t mention it had been his parents who’d hired him but rather said it had been an unfortunate coincidence), when Astarion awoke with a certain determination, shaking her awake.

She swatted at him like an insect buzzing by her ear. “Leave me be, you blood-sucking, elf!” Y/N grumbled, burying herself under the duvet. “It’s too early. And stop hogging the covers!”

She was just about to elbow him in the ribs if he didn’t let her sleep more, but what he said was like cold ice being poured over her, waking her up completely.

“I think I want to see my parents.”

Y/N was sat in a second. The sheet dropped down, exposing her naked chest, but she didn’t even feel the chilly air biting at her skin, even though Astarion’s gaze immediately dropped down to her breasts, eyes blazing with want.

Rolling her own eyes, she pulled the cover so that it obscured her indecency. Though it was his favourite outfit of hers, they needed to focus on the important things. “Are you sure? You can take all the time you need. There is no rush to this, and it’s a huge decision to make.”

“I’m sure,” Astarion sighed, running a hand through his moon-white locks and dropping back onto the pillows. “It’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about.”

Y/N worried her lip before sliding back down next to him, letting him wrap his arms around her body. She knew in moments like these, Astarion needed reassurance, and he craved being close to her. Holding her grounded him, and made his scattered thoughts into something solid.

She kissed right above where his heart lay. “If, you’re sure.”

“I am… I just… Will you be there?” Astarion looked down at her.

The woman gave him a smile. “Nowhere I’d rather be than by your side.”

Gently, he brushed a finger against her cheekbone and leaned to kiss her, thankful he’d found someone to walk the world with, especially during the moments he feared he might break.

The day before they’d decided on meeting, Y/N ventured out to the cabin to inform the elven couple of Astarion’s decision. Once they’d seen her walking up through the window, they were out before she even managed to get to the door, faces full of hope.

“Astarion, he wants to come and see you, but there are some… conditions…”

His mother’s brow furrowed, the grimace so familiar it sent a pang through Y/N’s heart, but she swallowed it. “Whatever he needs. Whatever you both need. Anything for our little Star.”

“So… please just don’t question this, but umm… physical contact – I know I can’t possibly understand how you feel, but let him come to you first. It might not make sense, but it’s important that he is the one to make that step.”

“Of course,” Astarion's father nodded, his mother eagerly agreeing.

“And umm… he’ll be different. He might not look like the elf you remember him being. The world wasn’t kind to him for a long time… Please don’t mention this.”

Pain flashed across their faces at her words. They must have assumed something horrible had happened to him, but to have it confirmed was a different kind of agony. But as Y/N had asked – they didn’t question, simply nodded, holding onto one another a bit tighter.

“Alright.” Her heart was somewhat settled. “Thank you. We – uh- we’ll see you later tonight then.”

And with that, she left only to find Astarion pacing the inside of their hallway upon her return.

“Is it sundown already?” He snapped his neck to her as she removed her cloak, visibly upset when Y/N shook her head.

“A couple more hours, I’m afraid,” she said, taking his hand and kissing his palm, placing it against her cheek. “Please stop worrying. It will all be alright.”          

“But what if I’m making a mistake?”

She raised her brow. “Do you think you’re making a mistake?”

“N-no?” Astarion huffed. “I don’t know. I know I want to see them at least once, but what if it’s best to leave the past in the past? Why torture myself and exhume it, so to speak?”

“You can leave it all behind if that’s what you wish. But, Star, you also have the rarest of opportunities people get – a second chance.” She stepped close to him, pulling his head down by the nape of his neck so they could rest their foreheads against one another. “But you can always leave. You can always say “no.” And if someone doesn’t get that, no matter who they might be, I will gut them navel to throat.”

Astarion chuckled, brushing his nose against hers. “My knight in bloody armour, always ready to ride into battle for me.”

Y/N pecked his lips in response. “As long as I get my kisses at the end of it – without a second to spare.”

They spent the couple of hours waiting until the sun went down cleaning up around the house and then it was time to go.

As Astarion took a deep breath before closing the door, Y/N squeezed his hand. “We can turn back whenever you want to.”

But he seemed determined, only giving her a reassuring smile and twining their fingers together, her hand in his solid hold.

They walked slowly, enjoying the warm night gracing Baldur’s Gate, and soon enough they were through the city and past the woods, a small log cabin coming into view.

He stopped them a few feet away, taking in a moment to gather his thoughts and emotions.

Y/N glanced at him encouragingly. “Are you ready, Star?”

Astarion took in a deep breath, held it in for a moment and then exhaled, nodding. With this confirmation, she released his hand and ventured to the door, gently rapping her knuckles against it, immediately returning to stand beside her lover.

Instantly his palm was back into hers, as if he needed her to ground him, reassure him everything would be alright as nervous energy coursed through his veins while they waited for the inhabitants to come and see them. And though it was probably no more than ten seconds since she’d knocked, it felt like time had stood still. Once the doors opened, even nature quieted down.

The breeze shushed the tweeting birds and seemingly even the worms digging underground stopped their burrowing as finally, after two hundred years, the lost Ancunin son returned.

They stood like that for what seemed like ages, just taking one another in, before a small sob of Astarion’s name from his mother’s lips broke the spellbound silence.

It’s when he rushed for her, the elf already on her feet, meeting him halfway. Her arms wrapped tight around his body, hands smoothing down the back of his head as all the while she kept whispering “My Star, my little Star, you’re home.”

Y/N was on standby, ready to rip her away if Astarion became overwhelmed. She’d asked them to allow him to be the one to make the first step, and they had, but with such all-encompassing feelings, she just wanted him to be safe.

Though all that anxiety dissipated like ice under the blazing hear of the sun when Astarion practically melted against his mother, his fingers digging into her shoulders and back as if he never wished to be let go, both of them crumbling to their knees, still in each other’s embrace.

Tears welled along Y/N’s bottom lashes and when his father joined them, wrapping his arms around his family, they fell like rain on an autumn evening. She had to press a hand against her mouth to not sob out loud, but it didn’t seem like anyone would care, as Y/N noted Astarion’s shoulders shaking while his mother and father were freely crying, all the while touching and caressing his face, trying to ingrain the memory of having their son back in their arms.

She couldn’t imagine that feeling, didn’t ever want to, of finally being reunited with a family which you were so brutally ripped away from. Y/N almost wanted to resurrect Cazador, just so she could drive a stake through his heart again, but that might’ve been a bit too morbid of a thought in such a tender moment.

“You’re home.” His mother pulled back, cupping Astarion’s cheeks and smiling from ear to ear. “Our little Star is back home.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he choked out, but his father shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re here. That’s enough for us.”

Y/N watched as he took in the people who’d searched for him relentlessly. He never knew they’d never given up. She wondered if there would be a time, he’d believe he was worth all it. She certainly hoped so.

“Thank you,” the elf with eyes like jade said, snapping her eyes towards Y/N. “You have no idea what kind of a gift you’ve bestowed upon us. We will never be able to repay you.”

She could only wave them off, a knot in her throat. “You owe me nothing. Seeing this – this is enough for me. I’ll – uh – I’ll leave you to it then.”

Just as she was about to turn around, Astarion jumped to his feet, untangling himself from the limbs of his parents, eyes full of concern. “What? Why? What’s wrong?” He was by her side in an instant, pulling her hand to rest against his chest.

“Nothing!” Y/N shook her head. “I just – I just think maybe I should take my leave. I can be back in a few hours if you’d like, but this just all seems like – like a private family reunion.”

Astarion scoffed, his free arm weaving around her waist, completely offended. “And what exactly do you think you are to me if not family, my love? Arguably, you might be the most important part of it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that -,”

“Hush now!” he scolded her. “You promised to be by my side through everything. Are you breaking that promise?”

“No, I just,” she stammered. “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave you to it? This just feels awfully personal.”

“My love, you are the keeper of my heart. You are my true home.” Astarion cupped her cheek, resting his brow against hers, chest against chest, not caring who might see. “Without you, none of this would have happened. I could still be on that beach with a mind flayer tadpole wriggling behind my eye.” He took her hand, and kissed her knuckles, sighing as they brushed against his jaw. “I don’t want to do this without you. I want to relearn who my parents are, and I want them to get to know me, but a non-negotiable part of that is you. That is if it’s alright with you?”

A tear slipped down her cheek, as she looked deep into those ruby eyes that once held nothing but fear and pain, only to now show love and compassion and happiness. When she smiled, her grin could have rivalled the sun itself. “I’d be honoured.”

When they glanced at the two elves by the threshold of the house, they noted the horrified looks on their faces. Astarion’s guard was immediately up, but his mother beat him to it.

“My Star, I am so sorry!” She put a hand over her mouth. “We swear we didn’t know you two were lovers! We just...” She glanced at her husband in desperation, but it seemed the little scene they’d put on had rendered him speechless. “Had we known, we would have never…”

Astarion squinted at her, a dangerous note appearing in his voice. “Never would have what?”

“Oh Gods, we had your partner kidnapped,” his father finally got out, eyes only widening in more shock as it settled that Y/N wasn’t just a travelling companion or a friend, but just what she really meant to Astarion.

“You did what?!” His head snapped to Y/N who now retreated to stand between the two shocked elves, and her quite furious boyfriend.

“Astarion, it’s alright,” she tried to calm him down. “They didn’t know! Besides, I heard them arguing with that mercenary. They didn’t hurt me. In fact, I,” she let out a nervous chuckle, “I held a knife to your mother’s throat. So, call it even and let’s move past it?”

His gaze was hot like the flames, as it burned into her. “We will discuss this later.” He pointed an accusatory finger at her before taking a deep breath and exhaling. “This is absolutely not how I ever imagined a family reunion to go, let alone the introduction of my partner.”

Y/N’s shoulders dropped as he broke the settled tension, but something in his eyes told her she’d pay for her omissions. And oh, how delicious that punishment would be.

His mother still seemed to be all nerves as she invited them inside, spouting apologies in Y/N’s direction, but when she took the elf's hand in hers and gave a comforting embrace, she relaxed a little. “Let’s let the bygones be bygones.”

“I’d appreciate that,” she smiled, and wrinkles of age and time appeared around her eyes.

It was awkward at first, two centuries of hurt laying between them, two centuries of torture on Astarion’s end, of lost love and people, but slowly they opened up. And when his mother mentioned how he always used to bury his nose into strawberry fields, because it reminded him of his mother’s hair care products, it was like a damn had been opened.

The memories were still there, buried under layers of pain and horrors, but there. Maybe a little jumbled up and out of sorts, but with every hour spent together, locks were being broken and a light long lost lit up again.

Astarion had changed, but so had his parents. He let them know of his adventures, how he met Y/N and how she had turned his world upside down but abstained from the more gruesome parts. He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but if he so wished, she knew his parents would be there to listen and welcome his vulnerably with open arms.

An hour before the sun resumed its place in the sky, Y/N nudged Astarion, telling him it was time to leave. She had little doubt in her mind, his parents had caught onto what he was, even if they hadn’t mentioned Cazador. If not for the shape of his elongated canines, or the colour of his eyes, which Y/N had found out had been a beautiful shade of pale green, then because of the brutal scars on his neck. But they still pulled him into a hug with such vigour, it was like they feared they’d never see him again, which was probably a thought always haunting their minds.

“Would – would you like to come over to ours?” Astarion asked, still holding onto his mother’s hands. “It’s a bit of a mess, our place, but if you come after the sun’s down, I’m sure we can have it proper enough to take on guests.”

It was an odd request, but thankfully, neither his mother nor father said anything about the specific time request, simply hugged him once more and promised to be by their door the second the sun dipped, wine and lemon cakes in hand.

As they waved their goodbyes, Astarion slipped his palm into Y/N’s and made sure they walked all the way back like that. Once behind a closed door, he pulled her into his chest relishing in the way their bodies melded together – two puzzle pieces finally connecting and forming the most magnificent picture to exist.

“What is it like to be finally home?” Y/N asked as he swayed them to a tune only, he heard.

Astarion shook his head, pulling slightly back so he could cup her jaw. “My love, I have been home for a long time now. I’ve been safe and cared for, all thanks to you.” His eyes were so full of love and adoration, she almost choked on a breath. “Now… now it just feels complete. So thank you… thank you for being my home,” he muttered that little confession against her skin, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

“Always, my love.” Y/N didn’t hide the tears rolling down her face and he brushed them away with a soft thumb. “Always.”

When their gazes locked, all she could see was excitement for what the new day had to offer, and she knew whatever was in store, as long as they were by one another’s side, there was nothing they couldn’t overcome.

But for all that, there was an important thing she was unaware of.

As Y/N entered their living room, talking to herself and making a list of what they had to do before his parents arrived, Astarion stood and watched her, leaning against the doorframe, all the while his hands rested in his pocket, where in one of them, a beautiful ring was being twirled between his fingers.

Before they’d left, his mother had slyly pulled it off her own hand, pressing it into his palm, and whispering to him while hugging that she didn’t want to see Y/N without it the next time around.

Astarion had no intention of living his life without Y/N as his fiancé for a second longer.

When she turned around to find him on one knee, he didn’t even get to ask the question before she responded with a shout of “Yes!” and jumped on him, pulling him into a kiss he swore breathed life into his still chest.

He couldn’t wait to reintroduce Y/N to his parents as his intended.

Now all was as it should be. He was finally home. And somewhere in the garden, a rose bloomed in full.

Tags:

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @m-a-t-91 @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @lestersglitterglue @im-squished @strangersstranger

Astarion tags: @spacebarbarianweird

A/N: This idea was inspired by that one post of a painting Astarion's parents probably had of him, but had put away somewhere just so they didn't have to look a the son they lost, so I rectified it (Link to the inspo pic :) :( Now they have a portrait of Astarion and his love right above their fire place :)

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. please don't plagiarise or repost on other platforms.

[vivaciousdomo]

Vegan BG3

I've been doing a vegan play through of BG3. Like, I'm still a durge, and evil, but I try not to kill animals, and I don't consume meat or cheese. Is anyone else doing this? Any mods to add more vegan items? Also, am I missing the beans? Ye olde europe would have eaten a bunch of beans, right? How do I get protein if no beans?

List of Vegan Foods

apple/half eaten apple

bagel

baguette

banana (how is this in in europe?)

bread/stale bread

cabbage

carrot

courgette

fragrant fungus stew

garlic

glow cap mushroom

good berry

grapes (green/purple)

gruel

horseradish

kiwi

lemon

lettuce

mushroom soup

onion

onion soup

orange

pale mint

pear

potato/boiled potato

potato porridge

pumpkin soup

pumpkin

raspberry

red pepper

sourdough bread

split pea soup

sun melon/half a sun melon

sweet potato

vegetable broth

walnut

(I accidentally ate the supply pack, but it has cured meats in it and "smells distinctly of smoked ham", so I won't make that mistake again. Let's just say Lae'zel ate them 🤷 Also can't eat the berry tart because it's got butter in it.)

Maybe Vegan?

biscuit (seems to be an oatmeal raisin which can be made vegan)

everything soup (description is "named for the halfling tradition of frantically raiding the pantry or garden upon the unexpected arrival of a guest")

puff pastry braid (unsure if butter was used here)

sunflower seed bun (unsure if has butter)

treacle tart (maybe butter?)

Drinks

amnian dessert wine

arkhen's hoard (wine?)

ashaba dusk (wine)

baldur's grape (wine)

blackstaff

barrel-aged callidyrran (…whisky? rum?)

carafe of wine

chultan fireswill (wine)

common table wine

eigersstor noblerot (??? probably vegan?)

esmeltar red

highsun liqueur

ithbank (wine)

mermaid whiskey

mug of beer/pitcher of beer

plum fizz (wine?)

port sherry

rolling deck rum

tyche pink (rose?)

wine (regular wine???)

Non alcoholic drinks

the water from the well outside the Hag's house (can't bottle and carry in your pack though and maybe has dead human bodies given the smell 🤔)

health potions? (can't long rest with them tho :<)

tea

coffee

I'll update this if/when I find other vegan foods and drinks, for your RP pleasure.

I'd also be so down to try and make a vegan bg3 cookbook. I know the lady with the big pot of gruel says she can't find salt easily, so maybe easy on the salt, but we have garlic and onion, so we have at least some flavor 🤔 oh, and there's a red pepper, so we can have some spice, maybe. brb, starting a Vegan Baldur's Gate 3 cookbook?

[pilot-doodles]

HELLO! I was tagged in this "Get to Know me" thing. wazzup. thanks, @alyxtried

Last Song - Blood Upon the Snow- Hozier, Bear McCreary

The song fits some of my OCs super well, I keep putting that song on in the car and get really lost in it. It's one of those songs that if given the right time to sit and listen, will give me full body chills. today was one of those days!

Currently Watching - Star Wars Rebels (Season 2)

I can't shut up about Star Wars ever and because I am fun and love live My favorite animated series is Rebels. I wanted to show it to my roommate. Every time I re-watch it I notice more and more. I'm also watching Ashoka so It is nice to see the parallels. and GOD i love Hera Syndulla so much.

Currently Reading - Burning Chrome- William Gibson

Reading is SUUUUPER hard for me for some reason, so I find myself picking up and putting books down often. I rarely get so engrossed in a book that I finish it, but that's why Burning Chrome works for me. it's a scify anthology/short story comp that I can pick up and put away whenever I want. the few books I strongly recommend are Piranesi and the Winternight Trilogy!

Current Obsession - (Still) Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Baldur's gate 3

before I go back on my Star Wars bullshit, I'm still playing BG3 with my beloved bard, Viv. I don't have as much free time as I did a while back but I still want to finish the story.

Favourite Colour - Red

it's been my favorite since I was a kid! I don't have a single explanation for it but it's always my favorite. I use it a lot in character design. I am also a fan of a good gold and black. the combo of red, dark navy and gold will always make me go insane. (in a good way)

Favourite Candy - Gummies

who has ONE favorite candy? what? I love gummies, hard candy, dark chocolate, anything with lemon- the more I think of it I don't think there's anything I actively dislike! except circus peanuts and candy corn but I think I'm allergic to them.

Favourite Game of All Time - Final Fantasy Crisis Core

I don't know who knows but I have a tattoo of the buster sword (Zacks OG CC version). it's on my left forearm. the tattoo artist I got was amazing, too. Crisis Core was extremely formative for me and had formulated some of the ideals I hold today.

Current Pets - Tadashi (gray longhair cat) and Acorn (Society Finch)

My boy tadashi was a shelter cat who probably would have died if I hadn't gotten him when I did. He came to me with a life threatening respiratory infection and ringworm, fleas, kennel rashes, etc. He's all fixed up now and living his best life as a spoiled, fat housecat. he's a bit standoffish to people, but really loves being with people. I also live with my sister's two cats, madeline and Olive.

Thanks for the tag, If someone wants to do it, go for it! I would love to hear about the vast beautiful worlds you got going on! (trying not to tag irl friends) Theres a lot of you active mutuals, so if I missed you and you wanna do it, I have spiritualy tagged you.

@magicalzombiegirl @ramroadrage @sternenhimmel-mond @thatoneperson1967 @astro-b-o-y-d @jesterrlavorre @phobosapollo @nionbell

[dustdeepsea]

Tagged by both @littleplasticrat and @voloslobotomyservice so I combined answers to both! Sorry this took a while, and thank you for forcing me to actually flesh out my OC ^^;

Name: Octavia Nickname: Tav Gender: Non-binary (they/them) Star sign: Aries Height: 161cm (roughly 5’3”) Orientation: Pan Race: Human Class: Rogue/Fighter multiclass Romancing: Rugan No one, but they had a tender moment with Halsin after the shadow curse was lifted.

Favourite… Fruit: Plums Season: Autumn Flower: Peonies Scent: Cedar

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Hot black tea with lemon Average sleep hours: 5-6 hours, plus as many naps during short rest as they can fit in Dogs or cats: Cats Dream trip: To visit Kara-Tur Amount of blankets: A light blanket pulled up to their waist, that gets kicked off sometime during the night. Can barely stand being cuddled or spooned, but will allow it until their partner falls asleep.

What is your Tav’s…

favorite weapon? Knife of the Undermountain King (technically a shortsword but it has “knife” in the name!), and the silencing Sussur Dagger in their off-hand.

style of combat? Striker with a critical hit build—although they have enough Constituiton and Fighter’s Second Wind to take a few hits for their casters.

most prized possession? Tav hoards every shiny thing they find on the road, so definitely their non-canon Bag of Holding.

deepest desire? To walk freely and invisibly; to not be perceived/gendered/judged.

guilty pleasure? Sticky sweets, luxurious fabrics, impractical clothes. They definitely wear soft, pretty things to sleep when they are alone.

best-kept secret? Where they stash all their coin and hoarded trinkets on their relatively small person.

fatal flaw + bad habit? (I debated this one for a long time while writing them, even as a reader-insert.) Tav is fatalistic and has a latent deathwish, which is balanced by their sense of duty and morals. In BG3, they realise they have an important mission to complete, but would also gladly annihilate themselves in the process. In this way, Tav is ironically extremely selfish.

This manifests as them taking on far more than they can handle constantly, while trying to be stoic about it. Yes, we’ll save your sister. Yes, we’ll find the missing Archdruid. Yes, we’ll lift the ancient Shadow Curse. Yes, I’ll do every terrible, mundane thing you ask of me, including dragging everyone along on a mission to save the world.

greatest strength? Consequently, their attitude on said suicide mission is very much: “You cannot kill me in a way that matters.”

favorite spell/cantrip? Blur

pet peeve? Cold food that isn’t fruit. Please don’t feed them any more dried sausages.

hidden talent? They can mimic a tune they’ve heard once, but have no aptitude for reading or playing music or wish to learn.

leisure activity? Sorting and polishing one of the many daggers, cups or rings they’ve found.

favorite drink? Hot black tea with lemon. They will add honey sometimes, as a treat.

comfort food? Savoury porridge with egg

favorite person(s)?

Shadowheart: Shadowheart can reliably call Tav out on their bullshit, with kindness and humor.

Jaheria: Jaheria nicknamed them cub, and reminds them of their mother.

Rugan: They aren’t sure why this person keeps showing up and drinking with them, but they like it also the dick is spectacular.

favored display of affection? Acts of service

fondest childhood memory? Being given some coin for morning errands and having some leftover. Buying hot, fresh bread from the bakery, and eating it while watching the sunrise, in sneaky fistfuls, without having to share with their seven siblings.

anything else you’d like to share?

Tav’s alignment is neutral good.

I am well-aware that at some point I will have to name them (oh god) but Tav is the youngest of eight. Their parents were too tired to discipline them strictly by the time they were born. They grew up playing on the streets and being raised by some combination of older brothers and sisters.

They snore, terribly, and need to be rolled over in their sleep to stop.

Their favourite treat is Turkish delight (or whatever the Forgotten Realms equivalent is).

In the City of Judgment, they hope to be claimed by Jergal. It would be nice to be walked home by a friend.

Meet Tav!

Octavia was the eight child of a large family. They shortened it to Tav. No one calls them Octavia anymore.

Fighting style: Dual-wielding daggers, sneak attacks, blur, colour spray, hit and run.

Appearance: All the outfits in BG3 are waaay too form-fitting for them -- Tav would be wandering around with a hooded scarf in high summer, looking like a teenage boy who hasn't hit their growth spurt. I wanted to design them as androgynous, yet still somewhat cute, and ended up settling somewhere between "Link" and "Arya".

Romance: No relationships on the way to Baldur's Gate, but they made eyes at Halsin. They're now sleeping with the Zhent. It's complicated.

I know this multi-class build is absolutely not optimised (take Thief and Battlemaster if you want to go Rogue/Fighter in BG3). But I did this all to give them WIS as a dump stat. This is my commitment to A Bit. Also they took 5 levels in Fighter after the Underdark and pumped CON out of spite and a refusal to roll over and die.

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, replies are under the cut!

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for putting everything everything under the cut. It helps a lot :)

"Yes, the blatant ignoring of his actual lines is what gets me. :)) " That's the most annoying part about it isn't it? The game is very blatant about it being the bad ending for him but they completely ignore all the signs. Astarion himself literally says thank you for helping him break the "cycle of power and terror" (not kidding, he uses those exact words) which is a bit hilarious as it pretty much shows you the fact that the writers didn't fully trust part of their audience to get the message, so they decided to spoon-feed them to be 100% sure, just in case. Still, it didn't work! Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

It gets even funnier though. When you explore Cazador's palace and dungeon you'll find his former master's (Vellioth) skull. It will tell you the rules of vampiric existence, the most relevant ones being to always dominate and allow no one to be your equal & to not share power with others as sharing means you are weak, and being weak means to die. It's pretty much what Astarion tells you in act 1 about true vampires not wanting to create a possible competitor. You'll also find some more insight into Cazador's life as a spawn. He was treated and abused just as badly as Astarion was, if not worse. At some point Cazador tried to reach out to a friend of his only for Vellioth to find out about it and punish him by draining his friend dry in front of him. He also tried to rebel against his master and was punished for it by being impaled for 11 years.

If you go and fight Cazador without Astarion in your party, you can cast Detect Thoughts on him while he is trying to heal himself in his coffin after the initial fight. You'll find out Cazador grieves his current existence ("the monster that will not end") and longs for the boy and the man he once was. He may have taken the all the power and his former's master place, but it still ended up trapping him in this cycle of neverending abuse and terror, a cycle that has been repeating for centuries with all the vampire lords and those who managed to take their place. It's a very sad situation.

Everything is very much a foreshadowing of what will happen if Astarion ascends. But do the wives care? No. It simply doesn't apply to their vampire boyfriend, because...reasons. There is also the irony of ascending Astarion just so he could enjoy and not burn in the sun anymore after the tadpole is gone and him telling you he plans to cover the world in darkness (thus block out the sun) anyway for his future spawn...

And look, I'm all for people interpreting a piece of media however they want but there are certain instances where both the text and the context are extremely clear and to come up with the opposite message and insist that is the right one is bizarre, if not deluded. Sometimes yes, there is more vagueness and one can reasonably come up with multiple and equally valid interpretations (and there are a few cases in this game, I'd argue) but that's not always true. This goes for everything really, not just this game.

I guess this is just further proof that, if someone has the predilection towards delusion and exaggerated fiction escapism, it doesn't matter how explicit you make the message. It's not going to stand in the way of their mental gymnastics. It definitely a case of shoehorning some kink fantasy into this (or any) story and closing the metaphorical eyes and ears to make it work. Which, like you said, each to their own, but it's so annoying to see someone actually try to defend that position without a shred of self-awareness. :))

I do feel really bad for Astarion's psyche, though, he's probably the character with the most amount of baggage. Like, can you imagine the roller coaster of emotions of being kidnapped by mind flayers, waking up in the sun after centuries, going over the initial shock of somehow not burning alive, then finding out there is a real possibility that you're about to turn into a squid person any day now? You can't even enjoy being away from your eldritch tormentor without worrying about tentacles sprouting from your face and losing your sense of personhood, being replaced with god knows what. You're all alone, have limited survival potential on your own and thus feel the need to make sexual passes at the group leader in hopes that they'll keep you around, if only as a sex toy, because some shelter is better than no shelter, so what if you have to sell your body for scraps again? It's not like anything you haven't done before. Ngl, I would have lost my marbles. :)) I guess this is why I'm more forgiving of Astarion's condescension than I am of Gale mansplaining the Weave to my wizard tav. :))

I have to say, I recently saw a little clip of Auntie Ethel hurling personalized Vicious Mockery insults at various character and her lines for Astarion were "is that rat I see between your teeth, slave" or something akin to him deep down actually enjoying being leashed. ☠ Took me out fr! Ethel did NOT come to play!

By the way, I'm sorry if I spoiled too much? I try to leave as many important bits as possible but since you knew so much of this already from your friend and bf, I figure you don't mind. Still, if you do please do tell me.

"Like, if I were going into this blind and let him ascend for the lols, I would immediately go back to an earlier save because I couldn’t stand that level of clapback. :)) And, generally-speaking, I wouldn’t let anyone in my camp achieve god-like levels of power because I just don’t think anyone should be entrusted with so much ability. " I do recommend on creating a separate save file for the ascended route if you're romancing him, at least for the sake of exploring the alternative route it offers for his character and the dialogues, but for sure he becomes unbearable as you'll immediately be inclined to go back to an earlier save like you said.

Maybe, but I could NOT stand his pale ass smarming at me. He's here to serve and fight crime, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming!

Also, did you say "god-like levels of power"? Well, I regret to inform you but one of Gale's possible endings is him ascending to…godhood, if you're pushing him in that direction. Not even kidding. It's too bad the game doesn't allow you to put a flag in the center of your camp and write "NO ASCENDING ALLOWED. FOR ANYONE." on it. Maybe someone could make a mod?

Gale is most definitely NOT approaching godhood in any capacity. I could not STAND this mediocre white man overpowering ME!

I am, though, debating on whether I should let Volo perform brain surgery on him. Mayhaps I will!

"But it’s better to convince him against ascending, even if you have to break up with him. Not sure if those things are mutually exclusive, but, at the end of the day, he’s an elf, I’m a human, we have different life spans and couldn’t be together for a long time anyway. :)) " You can convince him against ascending and still keep the relationship. As far as I can remember, he breaks up and leaves the party if you don't help him at all when it comes to deciphering the meaning behind his scars in act 2 (which are tied to the Ascension ritual). He also does it if after you defeat Cazador, you initially say you're going to help him with the ritual (he won't be able to do it by himself at all) but then immediately change your mind at the last moment just when it is about to start.

You do however need to pass a persuasion check to convince him not do it and yes, if you fail it he doesn't ascend AND breaks up with you and leaves the party. There is also a Wisdom/Insight check that, if passed successfully, will tell you the promise of power the intense smell of blood in the air are intoxicating him indicating the fact he doesn't think clearly at the moment.

There is also a scenario where you even end up fighting him, but I don't remember the exact combination of dialogue options that will lead you to this outcome.

Thanks for the tip! I knew having high charisma would come in handy eventually.

The wives cling to the persuasion thing and they interpret it as you coercing Astarion into not ascending, but I think that's missing the mark entirely as persuading someone in this game doesn't equal coercion. Characters being opened to persuasion usually means they have an open mind, that they are capable of changing their opinion when you show them a better alternative. That's not the same thing as manipulation.

Even if it were manipulation, I'd still do it for his own good. Dumbass needs all the help he can get. 😂

Oh, good that you mentioned your Tav being human. There was an insane take about this a while go when some wife legit said you are being cruel to him by romancing him with a human due to their short lifespan...like how could you do this to him? Other wives even think you are ableist and get angry if you want to cure his vampirism, by the way. I would also add that in D&D there are various possibilities to extend your character's lifespan. Of course, the game doesn't offer you this but it's something that could happen within the universe. I personally like the angst mortal/immortal ships have so I chose not to headcanon something like this though.

Glad to know I have already joined the ranks of his abusers. 💪 Us antis got to stick together!

ABLEIST because you want to cure him of his vampirism.............that's wild :))))))))) How about I cure him of that and the price is that he'll get to live the remainder of his life in human years.... because I am NOT spending an elf eternity with that man. 🤙 A century is more than enough.

The Tav I romanced him with was also human…and so is my second Tav actually. I'm usually one of those boring ones who plays human characters even if the game lets you be something else.

IKR! Not bothering with other races, my imagination does not swing in that direction. :))

"I showed this to my boyfriend and we joked about buying the Zara Astarion!knock-off shirt. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from laughing, so the whole cosplaying element would be for nothing. 😂 And I agree, I don’t…….. get…….. humanoid sex dolls, but spending so much money on a literal waifu pillow is " Lmao if you pair that Zara shirt with some leather pants, then find a silver haired wig you could have your own Astarion. It could make for a nice outfit for Halloween!

Agree though, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from laughing either.

The wives also spent a fair amount money on this figurine by the way (warning! very nsfw https://www.gkcollectors.com/products/god-pan-studio-the-pale-elf ) Not kink shaming anyone but come on lmao.

What on god's green earth!!!! Why does his cock look like a fat worm!!!! Why did they give him that cringe expression!!! 😭

I sometimes wonder if the Snapewives were this insane about their guy. It's a pity I wasn't in the HP fandom back then so I can't compare them.

Oh, the Snapewives could give them a run for their money! They built literal altars and were imagining themselves in real astral marriages.

"Yeah, I’m gonna summon the ogres in the goblin camp, too, thanks for the tip against this boss. I’m hoping the ogres will die in battle, but, if not, I’ll kill them myself to get that Circlet. " When I summoned them I had Astarion get (while hiding behind some wall I think) as close as possible to Dror Ragzlin while the rest of the party was farther away because I didn't want the game to drag everyone else into the fight. I then had him sound the horn. The ogres appeared and started to fight Dror and his minions and when most of the participants in the battle were dead or close to dying, I then dragged the whole party into the fight and simply finished everyone off. It did took me a few tries in the beginning because Astarion ended up being spotted, but it was worth it.

For some reason, the ogres did not show up for me in Dror's throne room, no matter how many times I sounded the horn. So I ended up summoning them in the courtyard, then, by the end, moved Mirta towards Lump and moved Lae'zel away. Then, while mid-conversation with Mirta, I switched to Lae'zel and Lump was dead after a couple of smacks. So I got my hands on the Circlet of Intelligence. Plus Auntie Ethel's hair, I can basically dump INT to 8 and still get INT 18. But I'll wait until after the Creche because I want the Gloves of Dexterity, too, so that I can dump DEX as well in my reclass. Tank!Mirta incoming!

I'm also thinking I'm ready to change the difficulty to medium now (I heard I can do this mid-game). The goblin battles weren't really challenging on easy and I am intrigued by multiclassing, which I can not do on easy. Dror, for example, was SO easy to kill, I just put Lae'zel and Karlach nearby and they made quick work out of him, he was gone by the third turn max. Elixir of Bloodlust on Karlach is insane.

"I tried but after Astarion reads it, it will not open for me anymore. Also, I’m sorry to report that giving him the book only got me a +5 approval rating. 😅 I’m currently at 39, so I’m gonna bring him with me to the goblin camp, too." It will only work on the party member who took the book initially. If you gave it to him back in the cellar, only him and no one else (including your character) will be able to benefit from the bonus it will offer. Ah, I think I misremembered the bit about receiving +10 approval if you give him the book. Still, +5 is still a high number. By the way, once you hit 40 approval rating he should propose you to sneak off and sleep with him at night...you are not far away from that. If he doesn't then don't worry, you can still do it at the party.

So I did a little reading and realised the goblin camp was a rich field of easy approval points for Astarion (and for Lae'zel and Karlach, too), that I just had to re-do it. During my first run, I didn't really stop to talk to all the goblins and missed many opportunities. And I didn't really even have to do anything evil, just chaotic and dumb, like flinging worg dung at the guards. Also, there is a barn in the Blighted Village where an ogre and a bugbear are having sex. If you go there BEFORE entering the goblin camp and let Astarion interrupt them*, you get 5 bloody approval points in one go. Crazy. After that, he made his advances towards Mirta and then the sex scene triggered when I hit long rest.

*you will have to separate yourself form the rest of your party and just knock with him at the door

"I did hear that Minthara was funny, which is why I’m interested in having her in my camp. A shame that Halsin is so boring! For a sex bear you’d think he’d be more LOL?" He is tied to a major quest in act 2 but other than that...yeah they didn't bother at all with giving him something else to do in act 3 besides sex and complaining about the city (he also has some fans that can be very annoying in their defense for his character). It's a pity because he had more potential as a character. Even Minthara who although wasn't intended either to be a companion either, still has something else going on considering she has a past with one of the main villains.

If nothing else, Halsin will be nice to have for some added flavour and the ability to play with a druid. Minthara, too, because she is a paladin and I have none in my party. Pity you can't make Volo a companion!

"Love to hear that she dunks on Gale, man’s become bottom tier in my companion list alongside Shadowheart. " When you recruit Minthara, Gale is like "I suspect a heart of gold lurks beneath her appearance" & "once she gets to know me I'm sure she'll open up, she just needs someone to listen." And she literally is like "LMAO, no!" I lowkey like them as a crackship though, this guys does need someone like her to put him into his place.

I am so looking forward to hear her dunking on Gale.

Shadowheart still hasn't grown on you? :( Such a pity. At least she tried, I suppose?

It's the obsession for her shitty god and the fact that she misses every single sacred flame I select. 😂 You need A LOT of patience with her to get past her eyerollish Shar worship and her mean emo girl shtick. I know she has a backstory and was probably kidnapped and brainwashed by Shar cultists, but, my god, the attitude!

Funnily enough, I think her and Lae'zel have many traits in common - rudeness, blind fanatical faith in something, arrogance etc - but Lae'zel is fr my fave.* I just find her so funny, inappropriate and extra, in a way Shadowheart isn't. We were in the Grove after defeating the goblins and, imprompted, she told a tiefling child he should get over himself because at his age she had already killed???? her own cousin???? girl fr who asked 😭🙏

(only surpassed by Karlach, because she is... basically perfect, but so sweet it's very easy to like her)

Frustratingly enough, Lae'zel and Karlach have me at the lowest approval ratings in the party :)) 31 and 29, respectively. But we'll do the creche next, so I'm hoping they'll grow.

"His reveal about him being Mystra’s lover just gave me the ick - that’s such a story only a MAN could tell. Becoming the buttboy of a goddess who couldn’t give two shits put together about you (otherwise why wouldn’t she help him with his current condition) is soooooo lame. Also he came off much too eager about Raphael’s offer which is another dumb man take. I get that he’d want to get rid of his weave problem, but he only has himself to blame for that in the first place. We’re NOT vibing atm." Lmaoo don't ever tell this to the Galewives, they absolutely hate Mystra's guts as they believe she is his groomer. It's very debatable if she really could be called a groomer in the first place, to me it always seemed like those fans only want to absolve Gale of any responsibility. It's very much HIS fault and no one else's as to why he ended up with that condition. Like you said, he only has himself to blame. Truly. I also agree, him considering Raphael's deal is a dumb man take. Even Astarion didn't agree.

Yes!!! Thank you!!! And, in any case, I think you can fight Raphael even if you didn't take his deal, so I'm not missing out on anything.

I think Mystra is equally lame for cavorting with (and discarding) a human like that, but groomer? Let's bffr.

The Galewives also think Gale is autistic coded and if you hate on him too much, you might being ableist yourself. Lol. Of course, they are not as bad as the Astarionwives with their buffoonery but you still have to be careful about what you say about him. Defending Mystra in any shape or form is guaranteed to trigger them. The good thing about them is they don't delude themselves with "but God Gale is his actual good ending" like the Ascendedwives do with their husband. Now that I brought this up, I actually do remember one discussion where an Ascendedwife was trying to defend Gale becoming a god because "he says he wants to!" and paint it his good ending, only for a Galewife to show up and be like STFU you clown.

Gale is NOT autistic coded, what the hell? If anything, he is privileged rich kid coded.

"I hadn’t even considered period blood fics, my goodness. =))))))))))))) I mean, if I were to entertain this train of thought, this is a fictional realm, why wouldn’t period blood count? It’s magically-infused by being associated with fertility and the like! Think, wives! “Lacking the proper nutrients”, my arse. " There are people who are into this kind of thing in real life but it's apparently too gross for a fucking vampire lmao.

He's been eating RATS until recently, how could this be more gross 😂

I also regret to inform you, but the latest period blood discourse (which originated on Reddit, mostly as an unserious, shitposting thing and surprisingly not something the wives provoked) has breached containment. Someone had the bright idea a few days ago to ask Astarion's writer about it on Twitter. Thankfully, he refused to use his powers as a writer to give an answer and said he will let the debate to rage on. Seriously now, I do find this a bit...embarrassing? I've always hated it when fans go to the writers and the actors to have their headcanons or interpretations confirmed since they obviously want that just so they could dunk on other fans. Just let people imagine whatever they want.

Yeah, it can quickly delve into inappropriateness, but it can also be shitposting idk :)) Gotta judge it on a case-by-case basis. The writer refusing to reveal whether period blood is nourishing for vampires in BG3 is kind of hilarious, though.

"Thank you! I’m currently debating about what to do with the missing shipment. I feel bad about killing Rugan and Olly after I’ve JUST saved them from gnolls, but the Zhentarim sound like major arseholes, so I’m contemplating just playing nice until I can trade/loot them, then killing them in their hideout. But if I spare Rugan and Olly now, won’t I just end up killing them in the hideout? Seems like the same outcome. I wish I’d get an persuasion check to convert them or something. Or at least Olly, as Rugan seems to be more shady. Although he was very nice to me after I saved his skin!" Yeah, the Zhentarim are majos assholes. I initially opened the shipment myself but still ended up going to an earlier save (I lost like 3 hours of gameplay) as I found out it will lock you out of having access to some very unique items from their merchant. You also get a nice crossbow as a reward if you return the shipment intact without opening it to their leader. You can still choose to attack everyone afterwards (and get the shipment back, if you REALLY want to find out its contents), although it isn't required and you can leave them in peace (you may want to explore their hideout anyway as there are some chests out there with unique items). Also no, you can't choose to spare Olly if you decide to turn on everyone. Either way, I wouldn't worry too much about this quest, its outcome doesn't matter in the long run at all.

I did get Harold and managed to trade with the merchant. I tried to make the painter make a portrait of Astarion, as I figured it would be a nice gift for him to be able to see himself, but I could only free him. (Of course, Astarion disapproved both that and me giving him money for the road).

I think I completely forgot about the shipment though! That cave is so big and I kind of lost myself picking up everything from the ground, so I don't really know where it is? Or if I can go back? Was it where Zarys was standing?

Anonymous asked:

BG3 anon again! I put together a few crazy screenshots of the wives being insane as I figured out you may want to get a laugh. :)) I didn't want to put this in my previous message as I don't want to attract any negative attention to your blog.

Link: https://imgur.com/a/wives-being-insane-lDwQwi2 (I hope it works)

This is barely 1% of the shit they say, sadly. Also, I was careful to not put any spoiler-y stuff that you may not know about yet, but yes they can be even more unhinged than this. The first and the most recent one is personally my favorite, the wife there dropped quite the gem about GRRM who, according to her, did not convey any message in his work…I fear I may never get this quote out of my head. Wives, please leave ASOIAF alone!!! We don't want even more craziness over here.

Thank you for this, I passed it to my own group chat for a good laugh. the wife declaring that the message of ASOIAF is "Winter is coming" tells me everything I need to know about their media comprehension skills. :))

The Gale scene where he tries to teach you about magic triggers for everyone once you hit a certain approval with him, it's not because you flirted with him before. You did well by choosing the imagine a hearty meal together option, that should lock you out of romancing him (although you'll have a second chance at the party if you want flirt with him there).

Phew! I even had Lae'zel come onto me unprompted at the goblin camp. With 30-ish level approval!! She's crazy lol. She gave me the "I want to taste you" line. Before that, she asked Astarion at the waypoint why he hadn't attempted sleeping with her. After he slept with Mirta!! Lae'zel!!! 😂

I won't say anything about the dream guardian…that's too much of a spoiler and trust me it's better to not find out anything about this one.

Yeah, I just made the decision that I don't want to have the Illithid menu activated, even if nothing will happen if I just take 1-2 tadpoles. But, for RPG reasons, we're doing all of this shit to get rid of them, why would I add more of them, you know?

Tbh Astarion's flirting is super cringe, I honestly don't get how so many of the wives get so horny at his lines. Or why they like this side of him so much. He sounds like a third rate pickup artist.

Right?? It would work so much better if he took it down a notch or two. Atm it's mainly pantomime. I nearly gagged when he talked about "our mutual ecstasy".

As long as you knock out Minthara she should show up in one piece later at Moonrise Towers in act 2. Also yes, you don't have to get her to be temporarily hostile anymore. Just initiate the fight. Make sure though you take out the war drum and the scrying eye, otherwise reinforcements will show up.

Again - as long as you knock her out you are good to go. Speaking with her before meeting Halsin shouldn't matter, but just don't take him with you in your party when you go to her. Having him in your party will also turn the entire goblin camp hostile automatically, so you may want to keep it in mind. Most players knock her out at the goblin camp but there is also the option to pretend you are her ally, show her the grove's location, take a long rest and then betray her once she shows up at the location. You can knock her out there as well during the fight. Both options work but doing it at the goblin camp is much easier since it's one battle less. It's also safer since during the siege you risk getting her killed by one of the tieflings if you are not careful.

I managed to knock her out and free Halsin so fingers crossed!

Don't worry about the other messages, you can answer them when you want. I don't mind.

💚

Anonymous asked:

You must have done the deed and let him bite you I guess...if you already have him at 74 approval!

Yesssssssss, I let him interrupt the barn sex between the bugbear and the ogre and that was so alluring for him he couldn't stand one minute longer without Mirta so he propositioned. And ofc I "offered him my neck" during intercourse, those are free points right there! 😂 74 points I got after finishing the goblin camp, a lot of free +1s over there that stack up + getting Loviatar's Blessing ofc.

But that's good, it means you really are on your way to become a real wife, although I hope you won't be a Snapewife type like so many of them are. Just kidding, I know you won't lol <3

Building him an altar in camp as we speak! 😂

Short story: there was some discourse in the fandom this week (I won't go into detail right now because it's a long story and it's better to put it under a "keep reading" post, just in case lol) but a wife "accidentally" got involved in some of the drama and lo and behold...she was one of those types who believes she's in a real relationship with the guy. They recently celebrated their three months anniversary. So happy for them! Now seriously...we may very well be on our way to a Snapewives 2.0 revival!

Oh god, well, it was only a matter of time, was it?

I also took a look at HOTD Twitter and unsurprisingly, people are still triggered by Helaemond and there is still harassment going on all of it over shipping, so I guess nothing changed over there. Oh and I saw TGC's friends got harassed by his fans. Yikes.

Im Westen Nichts Neues then LOL

Speaking of fans, a Shadowwife (or maybe it was a Shadowhusband) gave her actress a vibrator as a gift lmao. And the box had already been opened.

My friends told me. Wild! Guess shadowwives are throwing their hat in the ring for the title of weirdest micro-fandom.

Hope that chicken schnitzel was good, by the way!!

It was! The heartiest meals are the ones you eat languidly after a long day! :))

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, i can happily report that i went to the bdsm priest in the goblin camp and astarion was so impressed i offered myself up to be whipped that he finally came onto me 💪 almost unlocked wife status 👽

[lemonhemlock]

BG3 anon here. Glad to see you've finally dealt with Ethel! The trick with the Protection Against Evil and Good is really neat, when I first played the game I had no idea it could work like that! I remember putting one of the masks on my Tav and she got possessed by it so I ended up fighting her minions and knocked all of them out except one. I'll definitely use that trick in my second playthrough though, I already reached level 4 and will have to deal with her soon enough. By the way, to successfully knock out a character you can't use ranged attacks and spells on them, that might be why you got all her servants killed. Or, if you use such attacks make sure the last, dealing blow isn't one of those, but a melee one (so swords, axes, maces, thing like that). Also, try not to use poison on your weapons or inflict other lasting conditions (like bleeding) on your targets as that can fuck the whole thing up in case the character you want to knock out is one of those who can show up later in the game. You should be safe though if the game says they are knocked out and they don't die when you exit the combat.

I wouldn't worry at all about missing some any important items from Ethel. She had a nice staff you could buy (you'll find better ones soon enough anyway) and some potions of Hill Giant Strength which are great, but it's not like you can't go on without them. Plus, you will meet other merchants selling those.

Yes, the dialogue with Gandrel is different depending on whether or not you found out the truth about Astarion being a vampire. It's also a bit different if you meet him without Astarion in your party! Honestly, I don't know if knocking out Gandrel works. Some characters will appear later on if you don't kill them and choose to knock them out instead (like Minthara will) but for story reasons I assume, some others won't. It is possible the game will consider him dead regardless, despite him not being technically dead. The only thing I want to point out is that it makes absolute sense from a role-playing perspective for Tav to deal with him considering he's looking after one of your companions and let's be honest, it's not like a monster hunter will spare a vampire once he's done with it. After all, vampires are considered irredeemably evil monsters in their world. I do agree that him trying to get help from a hag is quite stupid, he should know better being a monster hunter, shouldn't he?

As for Mayrina, I don't think you can grab Connor without her knowing so I would ignore her cries...she's better off without his stinky zombie ass anyway.

you're very welcome about the Protection Against Evil spell!

i think that's where i failed with the masks, because i used ranged attacks and spells on them. it would have been way easier to incapacitate them first and then just fight ethel with 3 people. if you succeed in doing that, make sure that, when you loot their knocked-out bodies, you don't take their masks off. otherwise they die. just take their other stuff

i dunno if gandrel will appear again in this act at least but if he pesters me i will deal with him at the time :)) aside from seeking help from ethel of all people, i'm not sure i can blame him for hunting a vampire (conceptually-speaking). ofc, astarion insisted that he must have been hired by cazador, but i clicked the option of asking why would the gur work with another vampire?

he told me they might not be aware who they're working for. but you know. :)) i'm already aware astarion did do some shitty things to the gurs :))

i'll see if i can make it up to the gurs later on

yeah, you know, i feel like after all this work i'd have earned at least a persuasion check on mayrina! i did leave her her necklace and all. this was hilarious bc she started talking to the nearest person, which just so happened to be astarion, and i made him say very sympathising things that i'm sure he very much did not mean :)) and, after all this bashing, i do have to say i thought it relatively cute how, when you enter turn-based combat with him against ethel, he tells you smth like "if you want to save the girl, you have to do it NOW". i was expecting him to advise me to ditch her and save our necks or start blaming me lol. it's the bare minimum in this camp!

[lemonhemlock]

oh my gosh you guys i let the bloodsucker go on, wanting to see how much of my blood he'd actually drink, and the motherfucker left me for dead!!! 😤 i had to make karlach use a revivify scroll on me 🧍trust NO man

i look busted fr

yes i did punch him in the face afterwards

[lemonhemlock]

baldur's gate anon thank you so much for your message & tips! i've decided to go back and re-do a lot of stuff (mainly to get the maximum out of ethel) so i'll come back and answer alongside my progress! hugs!

[lemonhemlock]

ok so i'm getting deeper into my act 1 baldur's gate playthrough and i'm chuffed bc i managed to get all companions without having to do extra detours! i'm playing as an enchantress wizard and i insist on having high charisma bc i want to be able to convince people to do stuff 😂 my dexterity is fairly low though so i always get attacked during battles lmao

also i really need to get my wisdom higher somehow bc all the wisdom rolls are annoying me and i wanna be able to do them without shadowheart. thinking about dumping DEX altogether to pump into WIS or maybe finding a magical artifact to increase these stats? i don't think astarion needs gloves of dexterity tbh, he's gonna get max DEX anyway

i picked up the spell that lets you see invisibility during my latest level up so that i can go fight ethel LOL wish me luck

[lemonhemlock]

Congratulations on being on the way to become a future wife!! The timing of it happening just after you got whipped by the priest makes it even funnier. Not sure though, but I think it will take another long rest trigger his scene. The next long rest after entering the goblin camp will trigger the first scene with your dream guardian so that will take priority before any potential love scene.

By the way, if you've decided to knock out Minthara to recruit her later in act 2, make sure you do NOT take Halsin with you if you saved him in the worg pens. He will either kill her himself or her recruitment will potentially bug out. If you get to him before dealing with her, just tell him to wait there and ignore him from then on, he will eventually find his way by himself back to the grove.

no, no, i already had my first dream guardian sequence! it was right after i convinced lae'zel not to kill me, the entire camp and then herself because i was feverish :)))))) all in a day's (night's) work!! unfortunately this man was telling me to trust the tadpole and that, not to worry, he'll prevent me from becoming a squid person, so with a heavy heart i decided not to trust HIM because that just sounds whack. it was v hard bc he is v hot (i made him, after all, and gave him brat hair) and he seems to know what he's talking about. he has more rizz put together than my loser male companions but i'm squinting my eyes @ him from a distance

i also accidentally clicked on a gale flirting option (i've been successfully avoiding the shadowheart and lae'zel ones so far. shadowheart's was so easy to get and lae'zel unlocked hers at like 20-smth approval rating. crazy.) and got this cringe sequence of him trying to show ME (another wizard, mind you) how the weave works 🤡 but i did my best to friendzone him by imagining us having a hearty meal together

not that astarion flirting with me was much better in the cringe department, but at the very least hilarious considering the timing. unfortunately, i also freed volo beforehand so i suppose i'll get his sequence when i hit long rest. which won't happen anyway for quite some time because i have all spell slots & two short rests available to decimate the goblin camp rn. so our budding romance will have to be put on hold. (for the record, i am NOT going to let that clown perform brain surgery on me lol). i also made astarion lockpick and free liam, to which he didn't even object (not even a hiss or complaint! boo!)

i did not find halsin yet but did speak to minthara. i saw on reddit that, with the latest patch, you don't have to have her temporarily hostile anymore and could just knock her out? i did not know about not bringing halsin with me, that seems tricky. i guess i'm gonna have to try several versions of this battle if i want to have both those fools in my camp. i have neither a paladin, nor a druid, so it would be a chance for me to see how it is to play those classes

but in the meantime i think i'm going to pick up some of the junk i left in the traveller's chest and sell it to the merchant in the goblin camp for some more coin

i'm gonna answer the rest of your messages when i get some time but about the spoilers - yeah i had to be spoiled about some stuff bc i otherwise would not have started playing in a million years so :)) you know :)) but from now on i'm gonna at least try to not seek out very many details or arch-narratives, so that i can preserve at least some semblance of freshness when i get to them :)) so, going forward, as a procedure, i'll just ask about specific things if i want to know about them. thank you so much for your help & i hope you have a lovely week! (also don't worry you didn't tell me much i didn't already know/suspect)

[lemonhemlock]

RIGHT. i've finally managed to complete the ethel quest. it took AGES. literally what i've been doing for a week with my free time. 🤡

so i managed to get to a lvl 4 by fighting the spider mother underneath the blighted village. i got a hold of some cool items for Mirta that buffed up a bit (can't remember what exactly, a ring and some necklace) and help with her low HP.

i grabbed the clown alley of gale, shadowheart and astarion (team rocket from pokemon is an adequate way to describe our level of fierce) and basically entered ethel's teahouse, told mayrina with the first opportunity that the hag killed her brothers (thus turning her against ethel) and then fought her summoned red caps. this game has so many races and variants that i can't keep track. gnomes, gnolls, goblins, ogres ... ??? anyway. mean baddies.

it wasn't exactly a difficult fight, but still hilarious that somehow astarion and mirta (weakest of the lot with her STR 8 & DEX 10 lmao) proved to be my strongest soldiers and most offensive fighters. gale and shadowheart were for real chilling with almost full health and nothing much to show for it. (ofc i made shadow cast bless on everyone) but she missed nearly every damn sacred flame or guidance bolt and gale got Hold Person cast on him so often he was just a spectator. meanwhile mirtussy out front hanging by a thread and complaining because of every broken nail (that Voice i picked for her gets so melodramatic whenever she takes a hit but it's really just. girl. you're FINE 😭)

anyway. it took ages to loot ethel's hut and go downstairs. after many, many tries, i figured that i had 4 scrolls of Protection Against Evil and Good and i could cast them on everyone, THEN put the masks on and enter the wooden door. THEN i could successfully sneak past ethel's minions without harming them and, as a cheeky bonus, slide through the noxious gases without harming myself. i had gone through SO many iterations of this - i tried to fight the masks with non-lethal hits, but they were never knocked out and just died; i tried to use all sorts of shit to disarm the vents - throwing shields, dancing lights, perception checks, shooting arrows at the poison flowers, clean water to put out the fire etc. when it was so simple!

when i finally reached ethel, of course that the fight was much harder because she summoned her 4 minions (whom i elected not to kill) and had to fight both her and her multiplying ass while at the same time not target the masks. it's doable but such a pain in the backside. at long last, she started to haggle with me, but, to my horror, i realised that all my 4 clowns were dragged into the dialogue with her and i couldn't character select anyone to sneak up behind and kill her. so i made a bunch of saves in the hopes that i might try again.

i had read online that you should leave astarion out by the poisonous clouds and not take him with you in the fight at all, so that you could select him to murder ethel. only that meant that i had to defeat her and her 4 minions using only 3 people, which was an entirely different kind of buffoonery.

so i bid farewell to the bloodsucker, grabbed my most useless fighters and scrolled into ethel's lair like a bunch of amateurs, armed with only our wits and a dream. fortunately, i managed to get gale very near the orb that controlled mayrina's cage before getting caught and entering turn-based combat, so i got her out very quickly and didn't waste an extra turn extinguishing the fire. the hag cast so many hold persons i was left at one point with only shadowheart's expert marksmanship and you know how that goes. differentiating the ethels was not so easy, because, even when i hit examine and looked carefully, there really wasn't anything to give her away. the only things i could go by were HP to differentiate between her two sets of clones AND "condition: wet" because i previously hit her with water. but the damned harpy got dry at one point and i was just relying on god's will to get me through (and a bunch of in-combat saves)

haggling with her did work this time: i succeeded my intimidation roll to get both the +1 ability and mayrina (even though i had "condition: frightened" cast on me + disadvantage). but mirta is an inspiring leader of men and had no less than 4(!) inspiration points so i could just roll again. then i switched back to astarion and got him to murder ethel for me. unfortunately, the option "pickpocket" was disabled and she left no corpse, so i couldn't loot her, too. when i first encountered her in the grove i didn't really buy anything off from her and i kind of regret it (i don't even remember what she was selling). i understood that you could pickpocket her and get some of the items in her inventory but maybe the devs patched this up in later updates, idk. it didn't work for me.

but i managed to free the masks, although only one of them seemed to want to get out of there. i burglarized ethel's office and exited through the portal. THEN i saw mayrina outside but hesitated to tell her about the wand. i wandered around for a bit and, lo and behold, the Gur person happened upon me! i don't really remember if i had previously met him with astarion in this version (because of going back to an earlier save) but his conversation options went ahead like it was the first time we were meeting. it was a little different now because astarion had told me he was a vampire and i had the option to set him on Gandrel. i initially wanted to leave but astarion whined at me and i'm not proud to say that i relented. i guess mirta has not learnt her lesson after all!

i debated what to do, but Gandrel was going to ask ethel's help at the end of the day (you'd think a monster-hunter would be more wise than to seek the help of another monster, a hag) and the only reason he was still walking around was because we had taken ethel out. so i settled that we should all toggle non-lethal damage and just let astarion bite him a little. and loot him, ofc. not my proudest moment! but what's the harm in a little approval farming.

after that we went back to the coffin hoping mayrina had left but she was still there. i wonder if i hit long rest and come back, is the coffin still there or does she actually take it with her and leave? in any case, i used the wand on connor and hoped there would be dialogue options so that i could convince her to ditch her corpse husbando and leave. unfortunately, it didn't work and she got mad at me when i told her i was keeping connor for myself.

i figured it was really fucked up of me to let her have him, because he is a literal zombie and she needs to let go and move on with her life, especially with a baby on the way. looking at one's decomposing husband every day can't be great for one's mental health, whereas a zombie pet can prove useful for me and my band of scallywags in our quest to oppose the forces of the absolute. ideally, i would have wanted a way to grab connor without alerting her, but i'm not sure if that's possible

[lemonhemlock]

That makes sense, I thought you probably didn't have him the party a lot and that's why your approval points are so low. He approves of most good deeds so it's extremely easy to gain approval with him. You are also correct in your assumptions, he will change his tune and you will gain like 10 points with him each time you feed him an item so you don't have to worry about the current low numbers.

Also, just realized my first Tav was also of noble background (but a sorceress instead of a wizard) and I've been wondering how many of us asoiaf fans are choosing this background for their Tavs. I'll also mention that as a sorcerer you have some unique dialogue options with Gale and you can be really arrogant with him when he tries to mansplain magic to you haha.

yeah, gale seems like an easy character to get along with, i'm just annoyed with his bad habit of eating my stuff:)) although, i have to say, i went to him after astarion killed me and asked him what he thinks of having a vampire in the camp and he just said "we all have our struggles"

bitch!! you were supposed to commiserate and tell me men are bastards & that i can do much better! ☠️

(i expect there will be more sequences about this when i hit long rest again but we WILL do ethel before that so it's a long way away)

yeah, i chose noble bc i wanted diplomacy skills and i thought i could maybe gain access to other spaces they wouldn't otherwise allow me in if i were common born

having you clap back whenever gale is mid-paranthesis honestly sounds hilarious

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon i think i have gale so low on the approval scale bc i went back to a previous save and didn't really use him for anything. maybe he will change his tune after using him for the whole ethel sequence and feeding him a second time.

wyll & shadowheart have me in the 30s-40s

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, i'm gonna answer when i get the time, but i completely forgot that arabella's parents gave me that necklace 😆 i just didn't have anything else on me at the time, i thought the gloves would be better off on my companions

gale is gonna have to come through for all these sacrifices i've made for him!