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xenomorphicdna · 11 months

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On the string propaganda

Heeellll yeah

Bestie is an entire PLACE

I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.

No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.

I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?

You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.

#sorry im just a really passionate on the string believer #you cant tell me that these massive structures kilometers wide capable of things we cant even image would look at something thats #thats comparable to a speck of dust and be like #yes i would like to rid myself of practically my entire body to be that tiny #this aint no “if i were a supercomputer i'd be sad i couldnt see the sky like i do now”#thats only because you have something to compare it to #if i were to suddenly loose everything to be just some microscopic creature i'd be miserable but only because i know what im loosing #id be loosing the ability to think like i do now id be loosing the ability to enjoy the things i do now #i dont know what life is like as a microscopic creature but i wouldnt be willing to give up my life as i know it now #and i think with iterators are the same #just how different is their life from ours and what things can they see that we are missing out on?#give up everything comfortable and known and for what??#to feel the sun? they absolutely have various temperature sensors #see the sky? those overseers were made to see things those visuals are in 4k #other animal comforts?? what about computer comforts??#what makes a lil creature happy may not necessary make a massive supercomputer happy #sorry big rant in the tags um just wanna say this is no hate to anyone who wants their creatures off the string #these are fictional beings and you do whatever makes you happy take them off the string set them loose yess enjoy little robots running #around be happy i love reading ya alls off the string shenanigans #rain world #iterator #drawins #oc veil of dreams #rw talk #rain world oc #iterator oc

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boatemboys · 2 months

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uuuhhghhh that picky eater post is making me think about stuff again. no making me sit at the table for hours until i finished didnt make me not picky it just made me want to kill myself over eating

#jasper speaks #is this too personal yeah probably #tw ed #<- not really but like.. catch all ig #i will literally flat out refuse to sit and eat at the dinner table. i havent in years.#at friends houses i still dont exactly like it but in the name of being polite i just eat whatever im given #it was worse at my moms but my dad also used to try and push things a lot until he realised it was not helpful at all #and he does still cook things i dont like but at least he TELLS ME. AND GIVES ME OPTIONS IF I DONT WANT TO TRY IT.#or rather not gives me options but. lets me make my own stuff which i prefer to do.#idk. i think if u hate picky eaters u shall be met with the wrath of 1000 suns #tw suicide #tw suicide mention

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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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essenceofarda · 3 months

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#sometimes i think about the fact that I am:#A. born and raised on a small island #B. Daughter of a fisherman #C. Learned to walk as a wee babe on a ship out to sea in a storm #and D. hated being on the beach but LOVED swimming in the ocean as a child... you could never catch me sun bathing. I was diving or swimmin #in the waters all summer :)#So how/why am i not a mermaid already lol #or a selkie 🤔😢#anyway. During this hot weather I'm remembering my silly childhood at the beach imagining that I was secretly the #grandchild of a selkie or mermaid empress and as the 7th born child #in my family I was somehow the chosen heir to inherit the ocean kingdoms X)#anyway. Missing the beach and ocean today :')#I should make a webtoon/webcomic based on this fanciful childhood fairytale wish of mine lol

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ahalliance · 2 days

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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one

#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded #while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw #i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that #shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth #with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying #child death with . what the fuck #and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory #lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment #etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord #and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite #how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again #christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are #jay rambles

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castielsupernatural · 3 months

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oh my god i’m so irrationally excited to be sleeping comfortably in my own bed tonight

#i’ve been offline for many reasons but a big part is my apt doesn’t have air conditioning and we have projected 105-110 degree highs for the #foreseeable future and the entire back wall of my apt is window that gets intense direct sun every morning #so i’ve been baking in here to the point where i’ve been bumming places to sleep the past few nights at friends houses #which requires SO MUCH socialization and it’s exhausting. i fucking hate being around people #but the nights i’ve had to stick to out and be here have been miserable like #ice shower immediately before bed 3 fans pointing directly at me and still sweating all night #today a local nonprofit helped me get one of those portable a/c units #but i’m still gonna pitch a fit to my leasing office (i screamed at them yesterday LOL) bc now my electric bill is gonna go crazy #anyway! we need affordable housing that is actually inhabitable!!!!

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sophiethewitch1 · 2 months

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me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now

#sophie speaks #the disability is disabling me and its PISSING ME OFF #just let me write bro its not that hard #aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh #like im always thinking about it #drunk www!reader dancing to hot to go with the boys and every single one of them thinking about how bad they want to plow you as you-#jokingly flirt and wink and tease. and the entire time you have no idea theyre totally down 100% ready to go #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #if it gives fun dumb party vibes it is for www.#www is about the hot girl mascara running end of the night heels in hand look #hundredth thing i said www is about but like. something something the beauty of life and kindness and love and hope vs hate and loneliness #anything even close to that ballpark is what we want #gonna cry i geniunely want to write for it so bad i know im just complaining over and over but being chronically ill sucks so much #chronic pain sucks so much like whyyyyyyyyy cant i even go out to a cafe to buy takeaway in the car whyyyyyyyyy is the sun painful #its not supposed to be like that man :(#god i want another few months of my fibro going into remission pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee january february i loved you more than anything ever ahhh #nnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh #ill. ill get there one day #so says most people #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #maybe ill just put in like the next hundred words or something #chugging along #so fucking slowly but yknow. literally have to spend basically all of the day inside my room because it hurts too much to be outside it #so. maybe i can give myself just a little slack. the tinniest bit

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brb-on-a-quest · 3 months

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Current mood: gaslighting myself that it is actually not Daytime Outside and Time is an Illusion but Bedtime is real and It Is Time For Bed Because Work is in (checks imaginary watch) Not Many Hours.

#i should actually buy a real watch that would help with job much #and i need sneakers bc my other shoes are getting worn through again #i hate being an adult and Buying things #brb-rambles #brb-life #if i turn all the lights off and black out curtains this might work #The Sun Isn't Real And Can't Hurt Me Now #:)

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

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reverecurrent · 6 months

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got my septum pierced today!!!

#can’t wait for exams (1 exam) to be finally done and i can actually get my hair cut too #also my friend did my makeup and it looked incredible (and so natural) so i’m thinking maybe i can actually learn how to do makeup on mysel #-f soon this summer!! im excited :)))#also i genuinely just bought what seems to be the best fucking sunscreen on gods green earth #like texture-wise/smoothness/no cast/fragrance free/sensitive skin friendly/WATER PROOF #SPF 50+#likedeee #we’re staying protected this summer girlies #also i rlly am thinking about doing self tanner on my legs and stomach this summer just cause a) i don’t like my scarring on there and i he #-ar self tanner can even it all out #also including strawberry bumps from shaving your legs #which i don’t do much but yeah. other scars #and b) i hate the way my legs look from being covered for 9 months all winter and sun here just simply isn’t the right kind of sun for my #legs to tan the same way as my face does #but yeah those are my thoughts so far on that #we’ll see we’ll see #.txt

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stanleyvampire14 · 10 months

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Y’all I think I’m finally good enough physically (over the sickness for the most part) to continue the Ryder ask blog and stuff let’s goooo! ‼️‼️🩷✨🩷✨🩷✨

Btw if you haven’t already, follow it! It’ll be so cool and grand and fun I promise I swear- /nf @ask-ryder-emerson-lotf

So sorry for the delay!! ^_^”

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orcelito · 2 months

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Honestly tho it's the "I don't love you" and "every time I said it was just automatic impulse" that's got me the most messed up. Like u couldn't even let me down softly by saying it just wasn't working out? You had to essentially tell me the whole thing was a lie??? After I TOLD you I had trust issues and felt like everyone is just going to leave me in the end???

Way to make me feel unlovable lol

#speculation nation #tho of course what has me the Angriest is her breaking up with me over text. that takes the biggest fucking cake.#idk there was a lot said in all of that bullshit. including her admitting she was probably self-sabotaging.#i hate being used as a tool of self harm. being shoved away as a form of self sabotage.#like if youre gonna be a messed up bastard whyd you have to include me in it??? fucking bitch.#i let her know just how pissed off i was. called her every applicable name under the sun.#selfish coward bastard asshole piece of shit bitch. tossed in a few Fuck Yous as well. fully deserved.#and yet she just kept on with that sniveling 'im so sorry' and 'i know ill regret this' and 'i just have to do it'#you didnt have to do anything. you couldve had it poly but you just couldnt look last your infatuation.#also her calling days old feelings Love. as if that kind of immediate and extreme kind of feelings arent By Definition infatuation.#she's in the honeymoon faze. found her nice new fixation. said they understand each other like no one else.#but it's only been Days. how well can you know a person in that time? not very well usually.#threw out a nearly 6 month long relationship just like that. what a joke.#and when she'd brought up just last thursday that our 6 months was coming up (on the 23rd)#and mentioned wanting to do something to celebrate it...#im just like. i guess you really cant know everything in a person huh?#i knew she wasnt perfect but she always treated me so kindly. so considerate and attentive.#who knew she'd be the type to drop me for the new shiny fixation? i sure didnt expect it.#id started to trust that she genuinely liked me. even if i didnt understand why.#but now im back to square one. wondering whether anyone can ever like the true me.#i know theres gotta be someone out there for me. i just... have to find them.

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cowboy-like-moony · 1 year

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Matty Healy and Taylor Swift could literally be making out in my living room and I'd be like "oh my god they found a way to exchanged musical cues through their tongues, they're clearly working on a 1989 vault track"

#did you ever hear about the girl who lives in delusion?#I'd just love a 1989 collab with the 1975 #I guess they could still collab if they are dating #edit: i didn't know about most of the stuff he has done/said when i first posted this and don't want a collab anymore now that i know #why she would date this musty crusty problematic man is beyond me #I don't actually care that much #I just hate being wrong #I truly thought the sun was just making shit up #but of course matty healy had to ruin it by coming to her concert #and then taylor did the whole “i love you” thing like wtf was that?#she is so messy right now #I can't wait for all the crazy stuff that will happen at tonights show #also I'm not up to date with anything so most of my takes are already outdated when I post them #like found out phoebe brought matty on stage like 10 minutes ago #i can't deal with all of this #taylor swift #matty healy #1989 #the 1975

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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 3 months

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My heart is soooo full of love guys

#I think sunlight is a drug #I feel like a new person #maybe it’s just a mindset shift idk #but I’m doing art again too!!!! it’s been SO long since I’ve done art on my own #and like actually attempted a project #and then improv was so fucking fun today #stilll thinking about Brophy’s character. he was just a lil caterpillar. he deserved better #and then Liz played an alcoholic mom who was AWFUL to her kid #and we were just silly and goofy and had a great lil time with this teacher #I love all my friends so much #they’re incredibly funny. honored that they let me play with them #I just have such a good life and I gotta remember that!!! for the winter #maybe. maybe I’m just Fixed and it’s not just that the sun is out #I have also been on a really really weird sleep schedule so maybe that’s part of it #but I feel like I’ve been waxing poetic about the clouds for like a week before my sleep schedule got changed #anyways #go outside and look at how pretty the sky is!!! and the trees and the birds!!! so many little birds #and also the people. all my friends are beautiful and lovely and I’m so glad they’re in my life #I even talked to coworkers I hate today #and I was polite and made conversation #(not with Karl. let’s not get too crazy here. he can go die)#but even fucking ******#I was nice to her even tho I dislike her #cause she’s just a person!! we’re all just people guys #except Karl. Karl can go fuck himself.#damn even my good mood can’t make me excuse him as a human being that’s wild #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say life is soooo good #things are gonna be ok. and even when they’re not we’ll get through ittt

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hepbaestus · 3 months

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:|

#i hate feeling like i'm disappointing my friends #like i know that they want me around and i feel like im disappointing them by saying no to being in the sun digging for hours on end w/ the #and i know that they want to celebrate my birthday with something but it all feels like they want to celebrate it more for them in a way +#i mean that in a non selfish way. just. it's more like they want to celebrate seeing me and thats kinda stressing me out a bit #but nevermind me. it's just my brain being a lil funky and anxious for no reason

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dandyshucks · 4 months

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brain is so silly bc I'm thinking "i wish Guz had cold hands so when I'm stressed he could cup my face and it'd soothe the itchiness I get when I start scratching at myself from the stress" and then I realized wait he's a fictional character. I could just say he has cold hands if I wanted. but he DOESN'T, i just KNOW that man is a heater !!! he will get me overheated so easily and that is simply something i am happy to put up with because i love him !!!!

#my temperature regulation is very bad but luckily i am more often cold than overheated so fjfkdl #it'd work out most of the time! but sometimes... he runs too hot and i will suffocate if he is physically affectionate DBDJKL #but thats okay bc i love him and am more than happy to deal with any overheating bc I like him sooooo much :3 #but yeah idk my body hates me and loves to give me an overload of histamines when im anxious apparently LOL #thus... stress itchiness. rest in peace my skin 😔😔#anyways we're having a garage sale today and i am physically unwell with nausea and very itchy #trying not to make my skin and face all red and welted (from scratching) but goodness gracious i am being tested fhfkdl #and a pair of cold hands on my face other than my own cold hands would do wonders... ougghhhh #Wardell definitely has cold hands and i think ... hmm. idk who else would #Philby sometimes would but not super often and Theodor might occasionally when he's feeling under the weather #me just making shit up right now DBDJDKL #im 50/50 on whether my beloved janitor has cold hands or not. cannot decide!#and not to be cheesy but I think Sun and Moon would be able to cool their hands like an ice pack bc theyre a daycare bot #i never talk abt them bc I feel a little silly abt them but i do very much like the silly robots LOL #ANYWAYS. RAMBLE OVER. i have to go eat some food and then hopefully avoid helping too much w manning the garage sale 😭#💜so good at being in trouble #dandy.cmd

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