#i had a few things i had in mind a good hour ago but they quickly escaped my mind. whatfuckingever
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Shhh....
Summary: Being a single parent comes with all kinds of challenges. Challenges that are so much easier to deal with when the father of your daughter's best friend is there to take of your more personal needs. And if that meant sneaking off with you into a laundry room at a garden party? Well who would he be to complain?
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader
Wordcount: 2.2k
Rating: E
Warnings: smut (semi public sex, unprotected sex, oral f receiving, cumplay) friends with benefits to lovers, a lot of flirting, fluff?
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Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist
He didn’t know exactly why he agreed to go to this garden party. It was one of the few Saturdays he had off and he wanted it to spend with Sarah. She’s been in middle school since the summer and with all the changes that brought they only had little time to hang out in the last few weeks.
So when Sarah brought the invitation for this garden party that the parents of one of her new classmates were throwing, he wanted to decline. But Sarah told him she really wanted to go, and that if he had something else to do that day, he could just drop her off and pick her up after?
But of course Joel Miller went with her.
And it wasn’t that bad. The drinks were cold, the food was good and meeting all the new parents at the beginning of the year was a good thing too. Even if he already had forgotten most of their names. There were a few faces he recognised from Sarah’s elementary school, so he kept talking to them, all while having an eye out on Sarah who was playing soccer with some kids at the other side of the backyard.
„Fancy seeing you here,“ he heard your voice behind him, and his eyes closed before he took a deep breath and turned around, fighting unsuccessfully against the smile that sneaked to his lips as he looked down at you.
„Could say the same,“ he winked and your smile widened.
This party just got interesting.
You were running late.
The plan was to leave around twenty minutes ago but Charlotte, your daughter, just couldn’t decide on what to wear. She just turned twelve and if this last half year was a preview on how puberty would be with her, than you were in for a wild ride.
Usually you used the weekends to charge your mental batteries by having as little contact to the outside world as possible after working at a bakery and having to be social all week.
But Charlotte had brought the invitation for the garden party a couple weeks ago, begging you to go because Sarah would be there too.
And where Sarah was, her father wasn’t far behind which was why you said yes in the end and spend way too much time on deciding what to wear before you decided on a light summer dress.
It had been a while since you seen him, and you couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you had found the time to have sex.
Because ever since Charlotte and Sarah became best friends some time back in pre school, you and Joel started sleeping together occasionally. The first time happened after a night out at the bar where you ran into him, both of your kids on a sleepover. It had been positively mind-blowing and you were more than eager to agree to keep this going when you both needed a release.
His wife had left him and Sarah before the girl turned one and your husband had used your pregnancy to fuck his secretary because apparently carrying his child made you unattractive to him.
And with both you and Joel being very devoted single parents, both of your love lives was pretty much non existent. You wouldn't say it was frequent now, but every month or two you would find some hours where you’d meet up at either of your houses, not leaving before both of you were more than satisfied.
And you didn’t know if it was the secrecy of the whole thing, but my god the way Joel Miller knew how to play your body to the point of a crying orgasm was addictive.
But now you hadn’t really seen him in almost three months.
With the school change and summer break things were busy not only for you, but for him too. You texted occasionally, trying to figure out a time to meet up, but business was picking up for Miller construction and Joel used the little time he had off to spend with Sarah.
Something you could understand.
So you were excited to see him as you parked your car right behind his on the street after Charlotte finally had chosen a dress to wear. You knew all that time deciding on her outfit would be for nothing once they played soccer, but hey.
Charlotte was off to see Sarah as soon as you stepped into the garden, many people already mingling. The smell of fresh BBQ lingered in the air and before you even had taken two steps inside you already had an iced tea in hand, the host, one of the moms of a new classmate of Charlotte that you had met before, welcoming you.
You were glad that Charlotte and Sarah where in the same class, both of them loving each other like sisters. With Joel working so much you had Sarah over more often lately, seeing Joel only when he picked her up.
She was very well behaved and deep down you got the impression she loved hanging around with just girls for a change. Of course Joel was the best father, but there are some things that teenage girls don’t want to speak to their dads about.
Such as how to use the eyeliner she secretly bought correctly or the awkward question about what to use, pads or tampons or period underwear?
It was nice that she trusted you with questions like that.
You knew from Joel that she had struggled to not have a mom like other kids and he told you it was nice that she now had you to ask all those questions.
Not that you were her mom, or wanted to be.
Well…. Okay maybe sometimes deep into the night when you looked at the empty space in bed next to you, you might imagine how it would be if Joel would be there, every day. How could you not?
He was the hot single dad every mom in class always wanted and you were the one who had him. Occasionally. But still.
You let your eyes gaze through the backyard before you saw the broad shoulders of the man you had hoped would be here.
You could feel the butterflies in your belly as you walked over to him and fuck that smile he gave you when he turned around…
„Work still keeping you busy?“ You asked a little while later, both of you with a plate of food in front of you, sitting at one of the tables outside.
„Yeah. Can’t remember when I got more than five hours of sleep at night the last time,“ he groaned and you reached one hand over to rest on his knee before you could stop yourself.
„You got to take care of yourself, honey. Let that brother of yours pick up some slack too,“ you winked and he gave you a bashful smile before one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.
„He does. As a matter of fact he’s taking over the next project so I have some more free time to spend with Sarah,“ he said and you hummed.
„And if I’m being completely honest there’s this girl I haven’t spend any time with in the last months and I really really miss her and her little pussy,“ he had leaned in, whispering the last words against your ear and you shivered.
„Just her pussy?“ You mumbled back as you looked up at him and he smirked.
„Nah, she’s the whole fucking deal. Should probably get off my own ass and finally as her out on a date instead of just fucking he brains out whenever she lets me,“ he said and you sucked your bottom lip in as you tried to hide your smile.
You looked away from him for a moment, gathering your thoughts, making up your mind.
You needed him, and you needed him now.
„Think you can show me where the bathroom is? I think I need a little refresh,“ you asked, hoping he would get the hint. And by the shit eating grin that came to his face, he did.
„Of course. Follow me.“
„This… This is not the bathroom,“ you mumbled against his lips, his body pressing you against the door of what looked like a laundry room.
„Less interruptions here,“ he hummed, hand slipping under your dress, finger hooking into your panties, pulling them down. You smiled, hands in his hair as you helped him get your panties off.
„Been too damn long,“ he ran his hand up your leg, wrapping it behind his back, his other hand on your back puling you closer before he kissed you again, his tongue playing with yours as you reached down, unzipping his pants.
„Missed me so much you gonna fuck me in some people’s laundry room? Want us to get caught?“ You grinned, hand pulling out his cock, surprised to find out he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Wrapping your palm around his cock you loved the deep groan he released against your lips.
„Not gonna get caught if you keep quiet baby,“ he hooked your leg over his arm, hand on the door behind you as he stepped closer, opening you up for him.
„Oh yeah, because I am the one who can’t keep quiet,“ you teased and he huffed a laugh, replacing your hand around his cock with his as he pumped himself and lined himself up.
You wrapped one arm around his shoulders, standing only one one leg, trusting him to keep you there.
Slowly he finally sank into you, his thick cock stretching you perfectly.
„Fuckin’ perfect,“ he grunted, lips pressing against yours in a deep kiss when his cock filled you completely, both of you moaning quietly.
„This ain’t gonna take long, sweetheart. Been to fuckin’ long,“ he grunted and you gasped when he moved, bottoming out completely before thrusting back inside.
„Don’t care, just fuck me,“ you whimpered and he nodded against your lips, fucking up into you, skin slapping against skin every time he filled you.
You sucked your bottom lip in, trying to keep quiet as he hammered into you, his lips now attached to your shoulder as he groaned into your skin.
„Shit,“ he grunted just a couple of thrusts later and you felt him twitch as he came, spilling inside of you. Letting your head fall against the door you gasped for ear, having not cum but fuck it still felt good to just have him inside of you.
You were about to say something when he got on his knees, cock pulling out of you, your leg now hooked over his shoulders as his tongue replaced his cock, Joel moaning as he tasted you.
„Oh fuck,“ you whimpered, hands now in his hair as he looked up at you. He grinned wickedly as he licked into you, licked his cum out of you.
„We taste good together,“ he mumbled against your cunt, and you pulled at his hair with a quiet whine.
„Shhh Baby. Don’t want anyone to hear what a little slut your are for me huh?“ He teased and you pulled his hair harder, making him moan as he continued to lick you.
He sucked on your clit, tongue playing with it all while pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
„Joel,“ you moaned softly, your head falling back against the door as you finally came, gasping for air as your body shook in Joel’s hold. You melted against the door once you rode it out, limbs feeling like jello. He kissed your pussy one last time, before he set your leg down, keeping his arms around you as he got off of his knees. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him hard once he stood upright.
„We do taste good together,“ you whispered and he chuckled.
It was two hours later, nobody at the party had noticed the very explicit things you did in that laundry room, that Joel carried a very tired Charlotte towards your car, Sarah already sleeping in the backseat of his car.
You opened the backseat door of your car for him and he carefully sat Charlotte down, putting the belt on for her.
You were leaning against the back of your car as he closed the door and he walked towards you.
„What are you doing next Friday?“ He asked, fingers tilting your chin up.
„Nothing. Charlotte is with her Dad,“ you said with a small smile.
„And Sarah is at her Grandma’s for a sleepover,“ he hummed with a smirk.
„Wanna go on a date with me?“ He asked and you grinned, getting on your tiptoes to kiss him softly.
„I thought you’d never ask.“
#my fic#Joel Miller#Joel Miller x fem. reader#Pedro Pascal#fanfiction#fanfic#fan fiction#Joel Miller fanfiction#tlou#tlou fanfiction
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# JB9 — NUMBER ONE GIRL !
MASTERLIST !
REQUEST !
001. SUMMARY !
✯ on a rainy night, you reflect on the growing distance between you and joe, wondering if it’s time to let go.
002. WARNINGS !
✯ angst, emotional distance, talks of self-worth.
003. NOTE !
✯ i loved rosé’s album, and i feel like i haven’t seen enough people praising it??? idk i thought it was spectacular and so beautiful… this is my first written fic for joe so let me know how it is/or leave any feedback!
word count : 1,4k
The city lights blurred through the rain-streaked windows of your apartment. You stared out at the streets below, hands clutching a lukewarm cup of tea that you hadn’t taken a sip from in over an hour. Somewhere in the distance, the faint hum of sirens and car horns echoed, but your mind was locked on a single, unshakable thought—Joe.
The last time you saw him was two weeks ago, when he’d kissed you goodbye on his way to another game. You remembered the way his fingers lingered on your cheek, the way he’d promised to call as soon as he landed. And he did. At first. But as the days passed, the calls became shorter, less frequent. Now, you found yourself checking your phone obsessively, the growing silence between you heavy and suffocating.
You pulled the blanket tighter around yourself, trying to shake the chill that had settled in your chest. It wasn’t just the distance; it was the feeling that you were slipping further from his world with every passing day. His life was so big, so public, and yours felt so small in comparison. It wasn’t jealousy—at least that’s what you told yourself. It was the gnawing fear that he didn’t need you the way you needed him.
You thought back to when you first met. It wasn’t under the glittering lights of his fame, but in the quiet hum of a coffee shop on a rainy afternoon. He wasn’t the Joe Burrow everyone knew then; he was just Joe, a boy with an easy smile and a laugh that felt like home. You fell in love with his humility, his quiet confidence, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the room. Back then, his world didn’t feel so far out of reach.
But as his stardom rose, the cracks began to show. The late-night calls where he’d vent about the pressures of the game turned into hurried messages about flights and schedules. The weekends you spent tangled up together in your tiny apartment became rare, replaced by distant conversations and fleeting visits. You’d watch him on TV, surrounded by adoring fans, and wonder if he still saw you the way he used to.
You remembered the fight that changed everything. It was a few months ago, after he missed your birthday. You’d tried to be understanding, telling yourself that his career demanded sacrifices. But when he called that night, his voice distant and distracted, something inside you snapped. You’d told him that you felt like an afterthought, like you were holding onto something that was already slipping away. He’d gone quiet, his silence cutting deeper than any words. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft but firm. “You know how much this means to me. I thought you understood that.”
You’d cried yourself to sleep that night, the weight of his words pressing heavily on your chest. Since then, things had been different. The love was still there, but it felt frayed, like a thread stretched too thin. You wanted to believe that you could find your way back to each other, but the distance—both physical and emotional—felt overbearing.
Now, as you stared out at the rain-soaked streets, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were losing him. And the worst part? You weren’t sure if he even realized it.
The faint buzz of your phone jolted you out of your thoughts. His name flashed on the screen, and for a brief moment, your heart soared. But as you answered, the noise of a busy room greeted you before his voice did.
“Hey,” he said, his tone warm but rushed. “How’s it going?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing a smile he couldn’t see. “Good. Just the usual. How about you?”
“Busy,” he replied, the sound of laughter and clinking glasses in the background. “We just finished a team dinner. I wanted to check in before it got too late.”
“I’m glad you did,” you said softly, but the words felt hollow. The call already felt like an afterthought, something he’d done out of obligation rather than desire.
“How’s work?” he asked after a pause.
“It’s fine,” you replied. “Same old, same old. Nothing exciting happening here.”
“I’m sure you’re still killing it,” he said, his voice softening a little. “You always do.”
You smiled faintly at the compliment, even though it felt distant, like he was saying it out of habit. “Thanks. How’s the team? Everyone holding up okay?”
“Yeah,” he replied. “Everyone’s been putting in the work. I think we’ve got a real shot.”
“That’s great,” you said, genuinely meaning it, but the words still carried a tinge of sadness. You wanted to be more excited, to share in his joy, but it was hard when you felt so far removed from his world.
There was another pause, longer this time. It felt like he was debating whether to say something. “Listen,” he started, “I might not make it back this weekend. Coach wants us to stay focused, and there’s some extra training we’re doing.”
You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “Yeah, I figured. It’s fine.”
“You sure?” he asked, his voice dipping slightly, like he knew it wasn’t.
“Yeah,” you lied, forcing a lightness into your tone. “I get it. You’re busy.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” he promised, but the words felt like they were on autopilot. How many times had he said that now? And how many times had you let it slide, convincing yourself that next time would be different?
“Okay,” you whispered, unable to muster anything more.
“Hey,” he said, his voice softening further. “I mean it. I hate being away this much. It’s not fair to you.”
Your throat tightened at the sincerity in his tone, but it only made the ache worse. “I know you’re doing what you have to do, Joe. I just… I miss you.”
There was a beat of silence on his end. “I miss you too,�� he said finally, and for a moment, you let yourself believe it. “As soon as I get a break, we’ll do something. Just us. Okay?”
“Okay,” you murmured, even though you weren’t sure you believed him.
After the call ended, you stared at the phone, the screen dark and reflective. In it, you could see the faint outline of your face, tired and drawn. You thought back to the early days, when Joe’s attention felt like sunlight—warm and consuming, leaving no room for doubt. But now, the shadows had crept in, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were fighting for a space in a life that had outgrown you.
The rain outside grew heavier, the droplets cascading down the glass like tears you refused to shed. You wanted to call him back, to tell him everything—how lonely you felt, how much you missed the way things used to be. But what would that change? He was Joe Burrow, star quarterback, the golden boy of a city that adored him. And you? You were just the girl waiting for him to come home.
With a sigh, you set the phone down and turned away from the window. Maybe it was time to stop waiting. Maybe it was time to figure out who you were without him. But as you curled up on the couch, the thought of letting go felt like the hardest thing in the world.
The ache in your chest deepened, and a single tear slipped down your cheek. Maybe it wasn’t just time to figure out who you were without him. Maybe it was time to let him figure out what life was like without you. And maybe—just maybe—he’d realize what he’d lost.
You glanced back at your phone one last time, half expecting another call, a message, something—but the screen remained blank. In the silence of your apartment, you allowed yourself to wonder: if you walked away now, would he even notice? Would he fight for you the way you had always fought for him?
As the night stretched on, the doubt lingered, and the loneliness settled in like an old friend. Because deep down, you feared the answer more than the silence.
#*ੈ✩༄ my works !#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow#joe burrow x y/n#joe burrow x you#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow fic#joe burrow fanfic#joe burrow angst#joe burrow one shot#joe burrow imagine#nfl#nfl x reader#nfl fanfic#nfl angst#nfl x you
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For the promptsss: rosquez and chives (building a home together. Badly) OR daylily (parenthood: prepared for and not).
daylily: parenthood, prepared for and not
as luck would have it i already had smth like this written so i’m gonna just post that thang… this is part one of a story that i am currently like halfway-ish through atm (i made an OUTLINE…) and who knows if i ever finish it but i am certainly having fun writing a lil melodrama… i am who i am what can i say
August 3, 2020:
“What is it? My arm, there isn't nerve damage, is there? I thought the scans were good.” Marc shifts, a nervous hand cupping his elbow. He’s keeping utterly still– breathing through pain, trying to keep his head on straight.
Dr. Xavier Mir, uncharacteristically hesitant and containing an odd energy in his posture, peers at Marc. He has a clipboard in his hand, and he keeps glancing at it.
“Marc, you are– you are a carrier, yes? Honda had you tested, I can see it marked in your medical file.”
“Yes,” Marc says slowly, and Mir nods, flipping over the pages in his hand. He shifts on his feet, and a bolt of fear shoots through Marc’s stomach like a rabbit. They told him there was no nerve damage. Opening a glass sliding door cannot be the thing that gives him nerve damage.
Mir keeps going.
“Well, Marc,” He makes an odd, placating sound. “I checked the blood sample that we collected from you for your pre-operative labs, and then I had them run it again to be sure, and it seems that the sample we took from you indicates that you are, well, about four months along.”
Marc blinks.
That isn't what he expected.
“What do you mean?” He asks, slow and loud.
Dr. Mir clicks his pen, Marc guesses he doesn’t deliver this kind of news too often, which explains the tone. “I mean that you are almost certainly pregnant, by the look of things.”
“I—“ Marc gapes. He tries to make his mind work, arm burning. He’s not— he’s here for emergency surgery. Dr. Mir is already dressed in the awful, washed-out toothpaste color of his scrubs. He’s about to usher Marc into pre-op. This is about his arm, all of this should be about his arm.
“Four months? That’s not possible, they would have tested me before my last surgery, it was negative. The doctors at Honda told me, they told me that it wasn’t something I would have to worry about, that I don't have enough body fat.”
Mir nods. The ringing sound fades a bit from Marc’s ears.
“False negatives are rare, but I’m afraid to say that they’re not impossible. And if you can get pregnant, there is always a possibility for conception when having penetrative sex. Have you been experiencing any symptoms? Nausea, weight gain, fatigue—“ Mir peers at him sideways, talking briskly. The shadow of anxious feet move outside the door, Álex and Jose must be pacing. “Strong emotional responses?”
Marc stares at him. Strong emotional responses. The arm that he uses to ride motorcycles is broken. This is his second surgery on it in the space of three weeks. The plate snapped this morning, three hours ago. Brno is in six days, and he will miss it, 25 points down the drain.
“No, yeah— eh. I mean, yes.” He makes himself say.
He puts his good hand to his stomach.
Four months ago. Pre-season testing in Qatar. They hadn’t used a condom, and then the world had shut down and he’d been stuck without his motorcycle until July, the longest he’s ever gone without riding competitively since he was 12 and still in school. Lately, he’s had other stuff on his mind. He’s been rehabbing his shoulder, he’s been training for the season, he’s been doing— he’s been doing motocross.
The truth is, he hasn’t noticed anything. The last few weeks, when he supposes it should have been becoming more and more obvious (four months along obvious, Jesus Christ) he’d been focused on noticing his arm, mainly, and the bike, as well— both more delicate things than he’d anticipated, and there had certainly been some strong emotional responses.
But this is.
With Vale in March, he honestly didn’t even think it was possible with the sort of life he led, and when he was 20 and his doctors all told him he didn’t have to worry about it, he’d just assumed that was the end of it. That will probably be a funny story in about ten years.
It’s not, in the moment. In the moment it just feels mystifying, terrifying— like waking up and finding out the sky had turned purple overnight, only with an additionally fucked-up impact on his life and more importantly, on his career. He bites hard at his bottom lip. A baby.
He remembers— Vale’s hands on the small of his back, hot as a brand. Vale’s hands lower. The question, knifed out between strained breaths as he thumbed slickly at where Marc was hot and wanting: Do you have one? and then Marc gripping him tighter, swallowing around the words. No, he’d wanted to say, so he had. You should just, it’s okay, and then Vale was there.
“Fuck.” He says now, with feeling. This is crazy.
His eyes dart around the sterile white of the room. When he’d come in, he’d caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror above the sterile little sink, and hated the way he looked. Washed out and pale, small in the bundle of his jacket, his useless arm hanging out of its sleeve, but cradled close. His eyes were drawn with pain above the material of his mask, and his shoulders were postured unevenly, warped protectively over his shoddily healed fracture. He’d thought that he looked old. He turns over the feeling. Old enough?
A baby. An actual baby.
Marc is a practical man, when he wants to be. He runs down the list.
The season is still young, and he wants to be back to win—but it’s shortened because of Covid, and with him already missing two races, he realizes, with a sinking feeling in his chest, that a ninth championship at the age of 27 is looking less and less likely.
Which means that he has an actual choice here, not just the illusion of one. The doctor, having given him a thin breath of a moment, picks up on his line of thought.
“You do have— options, Marc. We have you at around four months along.” He sighs. “The injury, if all is normal after surgery, should heal in six to eight weeks, but this is not a normal injury, it has been retraumatized, and you’ve put a lot of stress on the bone,”
You let me do that, Marc thinks but doesn’t say. It's unfair to say it out loud, he’s the one who decided to ride.
“Now, if you want, there are precautions we can take for the baby, or we can see about going another route with that. We need to decide soon, though, because I want to get you into surgery as soon as possible, and I’m sure you’re in a lot of pain.”
Marc ignores his comment about pain— pain usually goes away, eventually, and he’s good at ignoring it. In a few minutes, once he doesn’t need to think clearly, he’ll ask for painkillers that are safe. Six to eight weeks. He would be back by— god, Misano. There goes his season.
“Another route?” He croaks out.
“You are past the 14 week cutoff for an abortion in Spain, but there are a few other countries where it is less of a problem— Sweden, the Netherlands. I’m sure that I can get you in contact with some people that are, ah, discreet, once we get you through today’s procedure.”
Fabio Quartararo already has 50 points more than Marc. He considers the neat zero next to his name in the standings. What’s worse— P10 in the championship or nothing at all. What’s worse— sitting out, or, or a child.
“My arm, six to eight weeks, you said,” He confirms, and the doctor nods.
“If everything goes well.”
Including the initial break, he will have been out around eleven weeks in total by the end of the healing, but the doctors will usually give him what he wants if he looks like he can stand the pain. If he tries to come back in four weeks, instead of six— no, even then the next grand prix would be in September. It’s still half the season, no way around that, and no one can DNF for half the season and still win a title, not even him.
The baby would be six months along by September, and here by November. That would give him the full offseason to heal. A nauseous, unsteady little thrill runs up his spine.
He could be the first rider to win after giving birth.
He takes a shuddering breath. He finds, even still, that he suddenly wants to cry very badly. He doesn’t.
“But, um, this surgery— the baby will be fine?”
Mir tilts his head, like that’s not what he expected Marc to say. “There are always risks this early into pregnancy with surgery, especially after the amount of stress your body has undergone these last few weeks, but it’s not unusual. There are ways to mitigate that risk as you heal, as well.”
His brain keeps catching— back on the bike in six weeks.
His brain keeps catching— 50 points already.
If he does this, he won’t be able to ride until next season, which is undoubtedly the worst and scariest part of the whole thing. He doesn’t do well with boredom, or with waiting, and he can already feel the need bunching under his skin, that gut-wrenching want to get from wherever he is to his bike as fast as possible. Whatever can get him to the top step, he’ll do it, he’ll do it fast, and if it means pain, then well, he can bear it.
But the thing that makes him pause is, if he doesn’t do this, he might never get another chance.
And the idea of that, of losing that, is also scary— scarier than he thought it would be. There’s a part of him that thought he wouldn’t get to do this at all, and it’s reaching towards the realization of the idea with a greedy sort of hunger he hardly seems aware of. If he followed his initial plan, he wouldn’t have a family for probably another ten years, once he retired. And that is only if he finds someone to do it with. He never thought he’d get to do it now, so soon, and with— he finds that he likes the idea.
Especially not with someone that he— he makes himself stop, and a pang shoots through his stomach.
That’s a stupid, childish thought. Vale’s made himself clear, best to nip that part of the fantasy in the bud.
He reviews. 6 months off of his bike.
He reviews. 50 points already. A baby. Blue eyes and curly hair.
“Marc, I know this is sudden, and it is hard to think clearly.” No it’s not, Marc thinks, a little distantly.
“—But I also know you’re in pain, and we do need to get you into surgery, so I need to know what you want us to do.”
He looks up at Dr. Mir. He swallows. He’s never been one to avoid what scares him.
He goes with his gut.
“I’m keeping it.” He says with conviction.
And twenty minutes later they put him under to fix the plate in his arm.
#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez#hi this is. plot heavy lol#my fic#prompts#the document is at 7k words rn i am scared
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Can I request a Nanami x fem!reader who’s an artist that loves to sketch/paint him?
cliché as it may seem, you could spend an eternity admiring your husband. just watching him breathe, the slow and steady rise of his chest under his blue linen shirt, knowing there's a heart beating under there and that, to use his words, it's just as much yours as it is his.
oh, you could stay here for hours, just admiring him.
especially in this light -- the warm hues of the setting sun casting a glow over his face, his sharp features softened in sleep as he naps alongside you in the porch swing.
you both had come out to sit here for a breath of fresh air after dinner, with you throwing your legs across nanami's lap and him smiling, placing a tender hand on your thigh and resting his shoulders back against the cushion to 'just close his eyes for a moment'.
that 'moment' was about a half-hour ago.
you don't mind one bit, however, since you keep your art supplies in a box next to this swing. careful to move gently so as not to disturb him, you managed to pull out your sketchbook and some pencils, putting your skills to work by trying to capture the likeness of your favourite subject.
distantly, you hear the caws of seabirds and the sounds of local fishermen hauling their little boats ashore. it's now a familiar sound, one you and nanami have grown accustomed to since moving here a year ago, but you still hope it doesn't wake him.
you glance over; a gentle gust of wind blows some strands of hair into his forehead, but he doesn't stir. you adjust your grip on your pencil and get back to work.
minutes pass and the light starts to wane, but you feel you've finished the outline. you can work on the detailing later, when you can use your watercolour pencils to capture the warm hazel of his eyes, the few streaks of silver in his hair -- the sign of a happy retirement, he jokes -- not to mention your favourite new feature of his, the scattering of freckles across his nose that he's acquired from days spent like this one.
"did you get my good side?"
nanami's voice is sleep-laced but achingly fond. he's smiling, eyes fluttering open to try and peek at your sketchbook, but your brow furrows with worry.
"did i wake you?" you ask. for too long, sleep had evaded nanami, and so any disturbance to his rest sparks a bit of fear inside you.
he shakes his head, "no, my darling," and shifts his hand from your thigh to your waist, pulling you in closer for a slow kiss that melts your worries away.
"so," he says when you finally bring yourself to pull away, gesturing to the paper in your hands. "can i see?"
"it's not finished," you clarify, suddenly a little self-conscious as you glance down at the sketch. "i haven't tidied it up yet --"
you look back up to nanami.
it takes just one look from him, one adoring look that feels more like an embrace, for you to hand over the sketchbook into his waiting hands.
he pauses, surveying the drawing of him in this seat with your porch and your house in the background, and he blinks once, twice, before his smile is back, reaching his eyes and making them crinkle at the corners.
"some day," he says, slow and careful. "some day, i'd love to see myself like you see me. but things like this," his thumb grazes over the drawing before he takes your hand in his. "get me a lot closer."
#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#THANK YOU ANON ILY THIS IS SUCH A CUTE SUGGESTION#may tries to write
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Rhysand & Cassian & Azriel X OC
Hello, here is the chapter 21 of a fanfiction on the world of Acotar where our three favorite Batboys are the mates of a single woman.
I would like to apologize to all of you for the huge late; especially when I said I would publish on Friday. I promise to make efforts to avoid this happening again, that said, I hope it will be worth it and that you will find the chapters good!
! Don't forget to read the previous and following chapters ! : Here
Enjoy the read ! ❤️❤️❤️
Chapter 21
When Luxiana awoke, the three Illyrians watched her with a mixture of hope and apprehension. How would their soul mate will react after she had kissed all three of them last night?
Azriel was already sure he knew her reaction. In fact, he'd spent the whole night - his eyes onto the ceiling, leaning against the headboard - imagining the different expressions that might have Luxiana and in every scenario, she'd blush. By the cauldron, he was so eager to see what she was going to do. And now she was finally opening her eyes. He was about going to know. Maybe he'd even get to do it again and kiss her again. It was the thing he wanted most in the world right now. He wanted so much to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to possess her.
Rhysand was still sitting in front of Luxiana in the same place he'd been last night. The same spot where she'd kissed him. He'd spent the whole night looking at her and had thought of nothing else. Of absolutely nothing else but her. She had brought him a peace of mind that was beyond belief. She silenced his intrusive thoughts and healed his bruised heart without even knowing it. But the chaos and explosions she awakened in his body were far different from the new tranquility in his head. He had detailed her all night long, memorizing every feature of her face without even tiring of it, but it had taken hours before his heart resumed a calm, regular beat after the kiss she'd given him.
Cassian had lay down beside Luxiana. He rested his head on his forearm and fell asleep right after her with a huge smile on his face. No kiss had ever made him feel the way kissing his soul mate had, and he wanted so much more. He'd slept well and when he'd opened his eyes a few hours ago, his joy and excitement were still there, and even tenfold. He'd felt like jumping up and down and screaming at the top of his lungs. He'd never woken up in such a good mood. He rested his cheek on his palm and his elbow on his mattress to watch Luxiana as she struggled to sit up. Her eyes were half-closed, and while she had hardly moved in her sleep, her hair was a mass of tangled knots going everywhere. Cassian's heart was beating wildly in his chest. He probably wasn't thinking clearly because she was his soulmate and he was happy, but he thought she was so beautiful like that.
Luxiana's mouth was dry and pasty. She could hardly keep her eyes open and was still fighting sleep. In fact, she wished she could have rested longer. She'd slept well, but she'd forced herself to get up when she saw the three bare-chested Illyrians around her, staring at her strangely with shining eyes. She had farted in her sleep or something? She wanted to look at them to see what was wrong with them, but the morning sunlight streaming through the bay window straight at her wasn't helping to keep her eyelids open. Especially as the remaining alcohol in her blood made her muscles heavy and difficult to move.
She moistened her lips several times, making strange mouth sounds. She turned her head towards the males to stare at them one by one. Seeing that all three of them were looking at her with flaming irises and goofy little smiles, she thought they were mocking her. She let out a sort of hoarse growl. "What?"
Cassian and Rhysand's smiles widened. The Illyrian with the red siphons straightened up to sit behind Luxiana, who was facing the lord. Cassian leaned slightly forward to place his mouth next to Luxiana's ear. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath of his mate's vanilla scent. "We were just thinking about what happened yesterday, sweetie," he murmured in a deep voice.
Luxiana shivered imperceptibly, her lower abdomen disturbed from the morning by Cassian's warm breath on her lobe. She swiveled her head towards him, acting as if nothing had happened and as if she wasn't completely aroused. Their faces were now face to face, their lips only inches apart. Luxiana had to restrain herself from looking at the Illyrian's mouth while HE couldn't help himself. "What happened yesterday?" she repeated, frowning for more information on what he was talking about.
The three Illyrians glanced at each other with a mixture of concern, surprise and apprehension. Didn't she remember their kisses? Rhysand leaned forward, trying not to let his doubt show, and feigning an air of playful confidence and haughtiness. He caught Luxiana's chin between his fingers to turn her head towards him. "You kissed the three of us, darling."
Luxiana didn't like his tone and expression, as if she were a trophy he already took for granted. She widened her eyes and didn't even have to pretend for her cheeks to flush. She stepped back a little to free herself from Rhys's grip. "What?" She looked completely embarrassed and for that too, she didn't need to pretend.
Rhysand's hand fell limply back on his legs, Cassian's smile faded and Azriel's disappointment compressed his chest.
Rhysand tried to keep up a good front, but his smirk was more than a little false. Their soul mate couldn't remember kissing them. They'd taken a great step forward last night, but today they were back where they started.
Cassian had lost all trace of the joy he'd felt last night and since this morning when he woke up. He would have liked to kiss her again, but now it was lost.
Azriel crossed his arms, his throat tight. He could see her blushing, but it wasn't even because she remembered kissing them. He was so disappointed. "Do you remember anything from last night?" he asked gravely.
Luxiana frowned a little more, adopting a blank stare. "Uh, I remember that you came looking for me in my room, that we came here and I... I think we had a drink or two and..." She searched for words, pursing her lips. "We played cards, didn't we?" she exclaimed as if suddenly remembering.
Cassian let himself fall on his back, arms spread wide and a sad gaze on the ceiling. He blew out all his air. He was so disappointed. "So you don't remember anything. So you really had drunk too much," he muttered through his teeth more to himself.
"No I wasn't drunk, I am used to drinking," she took offense, glaring back at him.
Rhysand kept his false smile. He inclined his head. "Yet it’s true. You don’t remember but you kissed us and you even wanted to go further, you little innocent baby girl."
Luxiana pursed her lips, lowering her head to hide her blush. "I don't remember that," she grumbled through gritted teeth with a look that fled so embarrassed she felt.
Azriel squinted his eyes. A smile emerged on his lips. "You're lying," he breathed.
His two brothers turned hopeful heads towards him, and Cassian even straightened up to lean on his forearms.
Luxiana raised shining pupils of shame at Azriel. "No," she insisted, a little vexed. How on earth did this fae know when she was lying? And how could she forget to be careful in front of him?
Azriel's smile widened as his chest filled with relief. He grabbed Luxiana's chin firmly, hooking his fingers into her cheeks to pull her towards him and bring her head closer to his. Something in the Illyrian's heart exploded when his fingerprints touched Luxiana's bouncing skin. Their faces were barely a few inches apart. Azriel's smile turned carnivorous as he noticed his soulmate looking at his lips. "It's not very nice to lie. I don't like that very much," he really hated the idea of his soul mate lying to him. "Especially not when it comes from the little princess that you are." With his other hand, he tucked a lock of hair behind Luxiana's ear, following his movement with his eyes. "From MY little princess." He returned his authoritative, almost stern gaze to his soulmate's, but a playful glow could be seen shining in his irises. "You're never going to lie to me again, are you?"
Luxiana was completely hypnotized by Azriel's eyes and completely immobilized by the strange electric atmosphere that had developed between the two of them. She loved more than anything the possessive grip he had on her chin and his authoritative words. Her breathing was choppy and labored. "No," she managed to say in a strangled voice. It was all she could say. In this position, he could have asked her what he wanted, and she would have agreed.
The other two Illyrians watched the scene with intrigue, brows furrowed, their pupils oscillating between their soulmate and their brother. Cassian finally threw Rhysand an expression somewhere between confusion and amusement, which Rhysand returned. Who would have thought their brother so dominant and authoritarian. In 500 years, they'd never seen him like this.
Something flared in Azriel's chest at his soulmate's cooperation and docility. "Good girl," he murmured, sliding his thumb over Luxiana's mouth to caress its contours.
Luxiana swallowed hard as fire burned her lower stomach and chest. Damn it, she liked being called like that and she wasn't thinking clearly as her lips tickled her far too much under the spy master's caresses.
Azriel was still clutching her chin with his thumb and forefinger, but he put his other hand on her throat to grip her and pull her possessively a little more toward him. "So do you remember last night?"
Luxiana had to restrain herself from moaning when he grabbed her and pulled her towards him. She was far too disturbed by everything she was feeling, so she just nodded. It was all she could do now anyway.
Azriel leaned towards her to brush his lips against Luxiana's. He shivered imperceptibly at the tickle. "Do you remember when we kissed?"
The blonde's breath caught in her throat and an electric current surged through her. She wanted to break the distance but he held her motionless in place. She nodded softly again. She remembered well.
Cassian straightened up fully to stand on his knees and slide next to Azriel so he could be seen by Luxiana. "Then why did you make us believe otherwise?"
The blonde managed to tear her eyes away from Azriel's to look at Cassian. She was able to regain her smirk and her confidence, feeling in control again in front of Cassian. "Because it was quite funny to see your disappointed faces."
Azriel, noticing that he was losing his soulmate's attention, exerted pressure on her chin, bringing her head towards him and forcing her to look at him. "Tsk, tsk," he emitted, clicking his tongue against his palate in a sound of disagreement.
Luxiana turned her attention back to Azriel and lost her smile and confidence again. Damn, what power did he have over her? She felt ready to obey him without a care in the world. He intimidated her a little and excited her at the same time, it was crazy.
"So you lied to us, knowing full well what you were doing," Rhysand remarked, regaining his hopeful shining eyes and smile. "You devilish little creature."
Luxiana wanted to turn her eyes towards Rhysand a smile emerged on her lips, but Azriel, to keep her attention, pushed her roughly and laid her back on the mattress to positioned himself on top of her, one leg between hers. He still had one hand on Luxiana's throat but his other forearm was resting on the bed beside her face so he wouldn't carry all his weight on her. "Do you know what we do to the little princess who lies?"
Luxiana trembled with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. She felt as if molten lava was coursing through her veins. She even had to hold back with all her might not to throw herself onAzriel and kiss him again. She had loved it so much when they kissed last night. She wanted more, and if she weren't so intrigued and intimidated by Azriel above her, she'd surely have let herself go. "We kiss her?" she asked hopefully, pleadingly.
Azriel fainted for a second. His soul-mate beneath him was red-cheeked and so cute as she practically begged Azriel to kiss her. The Illyrian's heart had missed a long beat and he'd had to let out a sort of grunt at his erection, which had pulsed in his pants in repercussion to the excitement that had imploded all at once in his belly. The master spy smiled as he restrained himself from doing what his soul mate was asking for. He let himself fall on top of her a little more, pressing his pelvis against Luxiana's to make her feel his erection. He stroked his lips again with the blonde's before shifting his mouth to her ear to whisper, "No, we're punishing her."
Something exploded in Luxiana's body and her chest jerked as she heard the fae's words and felt his erection on her thigh. A mixture of excitement, provocation and reluctance ran through her. She glanced over Azriel's shoulder at Rhysand and Cassian, who were watching her with a playful, mocking smile on their lips. She reached out a hand to Rhysand with a pleading look. "Help" she mimed with her mouth without letting any sound out so Azriel wouldn't hear. But Rhysand only widened his smile, nodding gently from left to right. And Cassian began to laugh out loud in mockery. She opened her mouth wide in offence. She wasn't going to get any help from them.
But Azriel had felt her move. He straightened up to let go of Luxiana's throat and grabbed her outstretched wrist toward Rhysand to plate it over her head. "Tsk, tsk."
Luxiana's heart was pounding in her chest and could almost moan just feeling the bulge in Azriel's pants pressed against her leg. As much as she'd like knowing the kind of punishment Azriel was talking about, she was a little apprehensive. She wasn't here for that anyway, and above all, she needed some air. She was going to have to get out of this situation on her own. She had to pull herself together. "So no kisses?" she asked, putting on the most adorable face possible, having seen the Illyrian faint earlier. "I wanted kisses."
It worked, for Azriel's heart, as well as those of the two Illyrians behind him, missed a beat before slamming violently back against their ribs. In repercussion, the master spy loosened his grip on Luxiana's arm a little, long enough for her to escape from it and slid sideways between Azriel's arm and his legs. She scrambled out of bed, laughing, and none of the three Illyrians could catch her. She turned towards them while walking backwards towards the door to make sure they don’t go after her. "And I wanted kisses, what a shame..."
She laughed even harder when she saw their shocked faces and wide-open smiling mouths. She extricated herself from Cassian's room. "I'm going to the shower, bye," and she scurried off down the corridor to her own room and into her bathroom. She closed the door, leaned against it and let herself slide to the ground. She took a deep breath before huffing. What the hell had happened? She'd loved it, but she had to pull herself together. She wasn't here for that. And they had far too much power over her, it scared her.
***
They were flying. Rhysand tightened his grip around Luxiana, whose legs around his pelvis and arms around his neck were barely squeezed, as if she wasn't afraid of falling. She looked all around her and into the void with shining eyes and sometimes closed her eyelids to enjoy the wind in her hair, as if she wasn't at all terrified of flying. But Rhysand was afraid. He was afraid of where they were going. He was afraid of how she would see them today. She was so fragile.
When she'd emerged from the shower and joined them in the dining room, she'd been much quieter than usual. She was trying not to look perturbed, but the three Illyrians could tell something was wrong. She seemed much less cheerful than usual and also much more distant with them. So they don’t even try to resume their morning's discussion or even to flirt with her. Something was really bothering her and when they'd wanted to know what was wrong, she'd simply asked Rhys when they were going to steal the Book of Breathing.
The lord had panicked a little and to give himself time, he had said he had to go to the Court of Nightmares today to put back the Orb of Truth they had stolen for their meeting with the queens. The three of them had wanted to go with Mor only but Luxiana had insisted on going with them. Rhys had warned her, telling her that the people they were going to become with Cassian and Azriel weren't really them. That it was all an act, but they were so terrified she'd be afraid of them.
They flew side by side with his brothers, and although they could have returned to the court of the nightmares teleporting there, Rhys had wanted so much to take Luxiana in his arms that he'd offered to fly. And Luxiana didn't even try to understand or ask Mor to teleport her there with her, as she threw herself into the lord's arms, screaming with joy, happy that she was going to fly.
The three of them landed in the entrance to the court of nightmares. The three Illyrians exchanged worried expressions. Azriel breathed a sigh as he glanced at the immense doorway to the nightmare court and then looked uncertainly at his soul mate. "Are you sure? We can drop you back at Velaris, it's not too late."
Luxiana rolled her eyes. Who did he think she was? "I'm sure."
Rhysand gritted his teeth. "Look, the person we're going to have to be, especially with you knowing you're human and in front of them, is... it's not really us. Please don't forget it."
Luxiana smiled confidently. "I will not, Rhys. I assure you I won't forget it." She drew her face closer to his, standing on tiptoes. "Don't worry, you'll still be the faes I kissed last night."
Rhysand raised an eyebrow and was finally able to smile, calming slightly for a second. He leaned over to give Luxiana a kiss, unable to resist the attraction of his mate's lips, but she dodged him at the last moment, smiling even more seductively and provocatively.
Rhysand opened his mouth wide in pleasant surprise as Luxiana reached out to grab Cassian's arm and hold onto him, pulling him towards the entrance to the court. Cassian laughed as he saw Rhys's disappointed face but he followed the blond.
Azriel was following them too, but he wasn't in the mood for laughter. He detailed Luxiana up and down from behind. She looked beautiful in that revealing, almost transparent black dress. Too beautiful. And this dress revealed a little too much. It was just a black lace backless fabric, with only two wide bands covering her chest and joining in the middle at her lower stomach. Both her legs were visible at the front. He closed his eyes as he passed a hand over his face. Hell, he'd fought Cassian and Rhysand to get her changed, but again they were two against him, telling him they didn't like it either, but they couldn't bring back a fully covered human. The others would suspect something was weird. Hell, he was going to kill the first person who laid eyes on her.
Mor was waiting for them at the entrance to the reception hall. She was a little stressed at the idea of seeing her parents again. When Luxiana noticed it, she let go of Cassian to give her a hug. Mor returned it with a tender smile. Fortunately, she wasn't going to stay a long time in the same room as her parents, she'd be able to leave early to go and put the Orb of Truth back in place. Rhys had wanted Azriel to do it as he had stolen it, but his master spy had refused. If Luxiana came with them, then he would stay with her permanently.
Azriel grabbed Luxiana's hand to squeeze it tightly. "Whatever happens, you stay close to me."
"Or one of us," Cassian added with a jaded look to his brother.
Luxiana smiled shyly as she nodded. Rhysand stood in front of her with a serious look on his face. "Don't forget, you have to look sad like we are ..."
"... make you suffer the worst atrocities." continued Luxiana. "I remember that too. Don't worry, I understand that you don't want anyone to know that you're little cute teddy bears. "
Cassian raised an eyebrow and wanted to say something, but Mor's laughter interrupted him.
Rhysand smiled and could do nothing else, for like Azriel, he was not in the mood. They were far too worried.
They regained their seriousness and decided to move. Their hearts pounded, apprehension and fear almost paralyzing them. Then they entered the room where countless high faes awaited them. All heads turned in their direction, and a stony silence fell over the place that had been alive with talk just a few seconds before. Faces grew pale and preoccupied. They all lowered their eyes, but Luxiana could see the sidelong glances of terror and horror they were giving them. Especially at Rhys. She turned her gaze to him and couldn't stop the corner of her lips from lifting for a microsecond.
Rhysand looked cold, no, icy. He was terrifying, and the power he exuded suddenly was oppressive. He looked at everyone with an evil expression, as if he was looking for his next victim. And that had a way of turning Luxiana strangely from the inside.
She glanced at the others to see Azriel almost invisible, melting into his shadows around him and dark-faced. It was the first time she'd seen his shadows around him in this way. He hurriedly eyed everyone warily, as if expecting one of them to jump out at them.
Cassian was chin high, back straight and chest puffed out. He looked confident, but there was no smile on his face, only strength, severity and anger.
Mor, for her part, had never seemed so haughty.
Luxiana kept her head down as if she wasn't happy to be there. Her arms were clutched to her chest, clutching her forearms as if she were uncomfortable in her dress. She had to play the game the way they'd asked her to.
A throne reigned in the middle of the room where they were all heading. Suddenly, one of the fae with short, curly blond hair and a glass of wine in his hands, surrounded by several other fae, let out an almost inaudible hiss as he stared Luxiana up and down. "Holy cow," he breathed to his friends. "She's the finest human I've ever seen. Maybe the lord can give her to us when he is done with her."
Luxiana had to restrain herself from smirking at his words. Oh, she'd be happy to give this fae a visit later and teach him manners and respect for women.
Rhysand, having heard it too, gritted his teeth. He wasn't supposed to show anything, but he longed to rip the tongue out of that bastard who spoke of his soulmate like that. He didn't want to scare Luxiana and that was the only thing keeping him from acting, but damn he would have liked to do it.
Cassian tensed, making his gait robotic and immediately looking less confident. How dare that bastard think he was worthy of laying eyes on their soul mate. He was going to wait until Luxiana left with Rhysand and Azriel so he could take the bones of that fae out from his body.
But Azriel didn't wait a second. A flash of anger electrocuted him through and through with violence. How dare he talk about his soul mate like that? How dare he look at his wife like that? He didn't wait to react and didn't even question himself, all reason and logic having left his body. He took Truth Teller out and threw himself at the fae, stabbing him in the eyes.
Everyone froze as the fae screamed, falling to the ground with bloody eyes. Azriel stood over him, breathing rapidly. He was killing everyone else with his pupils. "This human is ours ! Don't touch her, don't talk to her and don't look at her! If you do, this is what awaits you." His voice was cold, hissing and sharp.
Rhysand and Cassian held back to widening their eyes in surprise and did their utmost to maintain consistency in front of everyone. Azriel, realizing what he had just done and that Luxiana had just caught a glimpse of the cruel person he was, frozen in his movement.
The three of them, as one, slowly turned their gaze towards Luxiana. Their throats contracted and their stomachs turned as they saw her with wide eyes, a hand clamped over her mouth and a look of horror on her face.
The three of them began to panic, their chests vibrating with fear as they tried not to look like anything on the outside. "Luxiana!!!" shouted Rhysand in his head using his telepathy, hoping to reach his soulmate's mind. He deployed his power to stroke Luxiana's mental shield with a little more force than necessary. He so hoped she could feel him and let him in. But Luxiana was human, and there was no way she could have mastered her mental shield to that extent, and sense that Rhysand wanted to get in touch with her. "Luxiana," he begged mentally, knowing full well that she would never be able to hear him.
Yet Luxiana dropped her mental shield as she sensed Rhysand's power. In fact, she only retracted her shield a little, to protect her memories and her mind from Rhysand's power, but still allowing him to communicate with her.
But the lord couldn't see that. As far as Rhysand could feel, her shield had just given way, and it didn't matter anyway, since she was finally allowing him to enter her head. To him, it was only unconscious. Luxiana didn't realize what she was doing, but she must have sensed Rhysand's power in her head, and she now felt confident enough with him to unconsciously lower her shield. A current of joy pulsed in his chest before he remembered why he wanted to communicate with her. He extended his power to Azriel and Cassian, and in fact had no trouble even doing so to communicate with them, helped by their soulmate bond. "Luxiana," he murmured softly in his head.
The blonde jumped as if she didn't expect it. She was such a good actress. She looked up at Rhysand, her eyes still horrified.
"It's just me talking to you in your head with my power, don't be afraid. It's just me. You let me in unconsciously."
Luxiana frowned before returning her gaze to the fae kneeling in front of Azriel, still screaming in pain.
"Please, don't' be afraid," Rhysand continues. "Don't forget who we really are. "
"Azriel shouldn't have done that," Cassian growled in their heads, glaring darkly at his brother with his pupils. "He should have at least waited until you were gone."
Luxiana twitched as she heard Cassian's voice and almost mimed yet another jump. Luckily, she still had her hand in front of her mouth to hide her nascent smile.
Azriel grunted. "I'm not even going to apologize, he shouldn't have looked at her like that," he replied coldly via their link. "She's ours for fuck's sake and I warned you that if she went out in that outfit and someone looked at her a little too much, I'd scratch his eyes out."
Luxiana widened her eyes a little more, staring at Azriel at his words. Had he just said she was theirs? Surely he thought she belonged to them while waiting for her to fulfill the service Feyre owed them, but these words were doing a lot of damage to his stomach and chest.
Rhysand placed his hands in his pockets to clench his fists imperceptibly he forced himself not to let anything of his fear and anger show or to look too much at his soulmate. All the same, he glared at Azriel. "You just stabbed a fae' eyes out in front of Luxiana, you moron." Then he glanced sideways at his soulmate to address her. "Luxiana, listen, don't forget who we are, we ...."
"Calm down, everything's fine," she interrupted, speaking in their heads with a calm voice.
The three of them froze a little more. She was answering them. It was the first time they'd heard their soul mate’s voice in their heads, and she was telling them everything was fine.
"It's just acting, you told me to pretend, that's what I'm doing." She feigned a gasping breath as she regained her chest in her arms while lowering her head, but the confident, calm glance she cast at Rhsyand before, reassured him entirely.
Cassian couldn't hide his wry smile and hopeful eyes as he stared at their soulmate. "Didn't what just happened scare you?"
Luxiana chuckled in their minds, "no, that was incredibly sexy."
The three Illyrians glanced at each other in surprise before sighing imperceptibly in relief. Azriel grunted, vibrating with excitement.
Rhysand scowled at the screaming, bleeding fae on the ground. He waved his hand in a jaded manner in his direction to order the other faes to make the fae leave the room, which his friends did without question, gripping him by his arms and dragging him outside. Then Rhysand goes back in movement again to avoid arousing suspicion. He dropped onto his throne.
Chapters 22 and 23 : Here
#a court of thorns and roses#acomaf#acotar#acowar#azriel#cassian#rhysand#cassian x oc#rhysand x oc#azriel x oc#azriel shadowsinger#rhysand & cassian & azriel x oc#high lord rhysand#rhys acotar#acotar fandom#acotar fanfic#acotar fanfiction
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"I deserved it."
Theo Nott/Brothers bsf x Reader/Malfoy
Part two of "She just fell"
Fluff? Kissing
Writers note: I'm really loving writing and the moment and would love people's feedback on this current 'series,' I guess. But, I enjoyed writing this so much. Love yall!
Summary: When both you and Theo are struggling to get any sleep, it turns out you both have the same place in mind. Feelings are finally confessed, but what will happen now?
Entering the great hall, which was now overflowing with people bussying to get seated with their food, you couldn't help but feel your heart leap into your throat. Of course you had previously been back to your dorm before making your way over, and you had taken that time to make yourself presentable once more, but the thought of everyone's eyes on you never left your head. Obviously everyone's eyes weren't on you since they were all busy doing other things, but not to your knowledge, one person's tempting eyes had been locked onto your nervous, fidgeting figure as soon as you had entered the hall.
As Pansy and Luna rushed to grab some of the delicious feast that was currently being served, you awkwardly stood in silence, brushing your gaze over the clusters of slytherins, searching for one curly haired brunette imperticular. Having lost your appetite hours ago, there was not much point even being there, but your friends had insisted on you coming as it was, in their words, "Good exposure." Plus, you couldn't go back on your promise.
Having had found a place to seat yourselves, you caught a glimpse of Theodore sitting with his friends.. and your brother. Your eyes instantly met his, causing your heart beat to quicken, and it truly felt like there was something pulling the two of you closer together. You both sat there for a few minutes just admiring eachothers features from across the room. You felt at peace, like there wasn't anyone else in the great hall, but that didn't last very long as Theodore ripped his eyes from yours when Matteo, who was sat beside him looking annoyed, hit I'm across the back.
"THEO!" Matteo yelped, bringing Theoodores stare away from you and his thoughts back to the present. He stared at his friends' with those beautiful dead eyes of his, "Huh?" Was his only response. "Dude, we've been tryna talk to you for the last 5 minutes! What are you even looking a -" He quickly silenced himself as he followed Theos gaze, which was once more set on you and your small group of friends. A massive grin spread across his face, but before he could open his mouth to say something stupid (or something true that could alert Draco), Theo desperately, but discretely, kicked him under the table. That thankfully seemed to send Matteo the message. Quickly changing the subject before the rest of them could catch on, Theo began discussing quidditch practices. "Right, well, if we want to beat them next week, then we just have to be better. It's simpl-" "Are you alright, mate?" Enzo spoke up, seemingly worried. "What? Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Theo was beginning to feel anxious at the thought of him not being as secretive about his feelings for you as he thought he was. "Nothing, it's just you seem.. off. Has something happened?" Before Theo could reply, Blaze interjected, "yeah." He agreed."You're in your own world or something. " Theo had now become somewhat flustered by the accusations that were being thrown his way. "Look, guys, I'm fine, I'm just.. tired. " It was a blatant lie and thry could all tell, but to Theo's relief, nobody seemed to push the subject further.
As night fell and everyone was peacefully asleep in their dorms, you lay there, awake and cold. It was nearing the end of winter, so the temperatures had dropped drastically, and although you had covers on the end of your bed, you just couldn't bring yourself to get up and fetch them. You led there for atleast half an hour longer before you couldn't bare it any longer and came to the conclusion that you weren't going to get any sleep anytime soon so the second best thing would be to visit the astronomy tower.
In hindsight, not changing out of your pyjamas beforehand was probably not the smartest idea, as that decision led to you shivering the whole walk. You debated going back and changing out of your shorts and top but decided against it as you were already nearing the end of the staircase and there was no way in hell you would waste that time just to come back again and be exhausted.
Theodore, who also couldn't sleep at all that night due to how many overwhelming thoughts had been racing through his mind constantly, decided the only thing that was going to get him through this night was to have a smoke break. There was only one place Theodore liked to go when he needed to relax or clear his mind, and that place was the astronomy tower.
Walking towards his destination, Theodore still could not rid his mind of thoughts of you. There was one time in 3rd year where he was convinced you must have been dosing his food with armontesia, but being the smart boy he was, he decided not to confront you and rather look into it in the library. That year he spent months visiting the library at night just to read about the affects of the potion he suspected you were using on him, but after realising there was no way he had been experiencing the same symptoms, he finally accepted that maybe.. just maybe.. he had really fallen deeply in love with Y/N Malfoy.
As you sat with your legs dangling off the edge of the tower, you decided to just allow your thoughts to wander the possibilities of what it would be like if Theodore precipitated the feelings you felt so strongly for him. Deep down, you knew there was no use in doing this as it was only fueling your delusions which was what your friends had told you countless times, but it was still nice to have that slither of hope. You had loved him for over 5 years now, and it didn't seem to be going anywhere over the 'we know of each other' line. But the way he didn't take Dracos side it just.. - Before you could question it further, you heard footsteps in the distance that seemed to be closing in on your location. When you turned your body to see who could be coming, who else would be stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall with his hands stuffed into his pockets, but the man you had just been endlessy thinking about. Theodore Nott.
You both just stared at each other for a while, getting lost in the eyes and beauty of one another before the silence was broken by his deep, husky voice, "May i join you?" Yes yes a million times yes you thought but if you said anything along the lines of that you knew your chances with him would be out the window along with him who would probably think you are a total weirdo, so instead you replied softly, almost a whisper, "sure".
Theodore couldn't believe it. The exact girl he came up there to stop thinking about was sat innocently in front of him. Of course, he wasn't complaining, nor did he want to be anywhere else in the castle, in the world other than sat next to you. He tried his best to keep his cool and lifted himself off of the wall to your side. Dropping to your height, he observed every moonlit feature across your expression, which he was yet to decipher. He didn't know how to begin a conversation until he noticed you shiver under his gaze.
"You're cold." He murmured, it was more of a statement than a question, and it sent chills down your spine, which led you to shiver once more. Before you could reply with anything, he had already removed his robe and lent over you to drape it over your bare shoulders. You honestly had no idea how to react or respond, but you managed to say a shy "Thank you, Theodore."
"Theo.. I mean, you can call me Theo." He hesitated, "if you want to, of course." You giggled at that, in all your time you had known Theodore, he had never once acted so unsure or shy infront of anyone, let alone a girl. I mean he was literally one of the schools major flirts and EVERYONE or every girl was head over heels for him, except from your little group of friends who had known about your crush on him for years. "Okay, Theo."
"I'm sorry," He said with an extreme look of guilt on his face, and you could see the vulnerability flicker in his gaze. But you were also extremely confused as to why, or what, he was apologising for. "For what, Theo?" The way his name rolled of your tongue felt so natural, and he couldn't get enough it. "Well, you know, for letting Draco speak to you like that. In such a foul manner." He sounded so sincere, and it broke you. "Oh Theo, it's not your fault at all. You did defend me somewhat, and, anyways, it was my fault. I deserved it." You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth because the change in Theo's demeanour was instant, but you could've never guessed what he said next. "Your fault? Y/N, amore mio, never say that again." His voice was stern but also soft, and you felt your heart rate increase further, if that was even possible. He continued, "You didn't deserve any of that. You could never do anything to deserve to be called such horrible names." His expression visibly changed to one of pure disgust as he recalled the memory that had been repeating through his head all day. But he wasn't done yet, "you are the most thoughtful and understanding person I have ever met, your beauty is one of pure magnificence and you should never be made to feel as if you are the problem.. because Y/N.. you could never be a problem."
Knowing this was his only chance to be completely honest with you and express his feelings he spoke, extemly quietly, "I like you Y/N" You weren't even sure if you had heard what he had just said correctly but when he repeated it once more "I really, truly like you" you thought you must be in a dream.
Hearing his words and the pure vulnerability in his tone stunned you. Not having any response that could convey how much what he had just said meant to you, all you could do was sit there and stare into his loving eyes, which were now filled with nothing but adoration. "It's okay if you don't feel the same way Y/N, I just couldn't go on without letting you know how I feel l." You were still stunned. But as the words he had just spoken to you processed through your mind, which was scrambling for a response, you decided to just move towards him.
And within seconds, your lips had connected with his in a loving, heart-felt kiss. As your hands made their way to his hair, the kiss deepened. He reached for the back of your neck in one frisk movement. He positioned you head upwards further towards him. You couldn't believe what was happening. The boy of your dreams was currently passionately kissing you in your favourite place after confessing his feelings for you.
Little did you know that Theo was feeling just as dazed as you currently were. He thought he must have hit his head or something because this was something straight out of one of his fantasies.
You suddenly felt a large hand on your lower back, and before you knew it, you had been positioned to sit on Theo's lap, and you couldn't get enough of this night. Breaking free from the kiss, you rested your four head on his and stared right into those gorgeous eyes that you had dreamt about so many times. They were even more stunning up close. Theodore chuckled, a deep growl almost as carresed you jaw with his fingers, connecting his lips to your neck, "You have no idea what you do to me cara mia" You found that somewhat amusing and giggled in response, "Oh Theo, I've loved you for so long."
As the night led on, you and Theo sat at the top of the astronomy tower, entangled in one another's embrace. You were led against his chest and could hear every quiet breath he took, but their was still something gnawing at you, and Theo could tell by the way you fiddled with the end of his robe. He drew soft patterns on your back and then spoke up, "Amore mio, what's wrong?" You looked up at him and could see the concern in his eyes, but you had to ask the question. "What about Draco?" You could feel Theo tense at the question. He hadn't thought of that, and if he was being completely honest, he didn't know. "We will figure something out. It might just take some time." And with that, you snuggled against him, not ready to let go and face your brother. Neither of you were prepared to even think about that right now.
@augiemyers79
#theodore nott#theo nott#theo nott x reader#idk how to tag this#love#brothers best friend#part 2#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#y/n#fic series#first series#idk#idk what else to tag#slytherin#draco malfoy#pansy parkinson#matteo riddle#blaize zabini#luna lovegood#enzo berkshire#writing#fluff#theo nott fluff
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2024 GOALS
dye hair purple probably
quit tumblr lol
go back to the psychology of religion meetings & woo the redhead who sold me madoka manga
go to conventions and have FUN. finish kafka cosplay!!!!
& then quit hoyoverse for good
make some progress on my to watch/read list. make an actual one
get a job
create a vague little cookbook and list of ingredients i like
keep track of my emotions in a journal
do an internship... i just realized.😭😭😭fuuuck
be a good student for once
#i lost the 1st list i made like what. 2 weeks ago??😭😭😭#i had a few things i had in mind a good hour ago but they quickly escaped my mind. whatfuckingever
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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#another tag post update for anyone following along!#my first intake was fine ish#it’s a good thing I have a county mental health background#but it was just such a long day#three back-to-back meetings#the intake was last minute so i worked while i ate#1.5 hour intake#traffic getting to the freeway#i'm so exhausted#literally the slightest frustration sets me off#and i've had to work hard on 0-60/black and white thinking#but it's just where my mind goes naturally when things are bad#like. i simply felt tired a few minutes ago#and sat down and am just crying about life#and how much i don't want to do it#so that's where we're at mentally
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there’s a non-non-zero chance of success though… _(:3 」∠)_
#long depressing rant in the tags incoming ig? take warning!!#maybe it’s bc it’s 3am and i’m tired or maybe it’s bc of the 8-9 hour old fried vermicelli that i just gave up on eating but my head hurts~~#or maybe it could even be bc i spent like 3 hours unpacking my boxes (note: my fam moved last month) instead of chilling like i wanted to…#either way i saw some things while unpacking that i really should’ve left in the distant past and i’m feeling as empty as my stomach pre-米粉#though i did uncover a dogtag i had engraved years ago with nothing but a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on it so that was pretty funny#but other than that… i remembered all the weird things i had given up on in the past via the things i unearthed…#like cooking! i unpacked this huge 1k+ page thick cookbook thing and remembered that i had a phase where i liked to cook#then i remembered that i had mistaken salt for sugar while making some meat dish with a ton of soy sauce and byebye cooking confidence :(#and to add to that i also read a past essay of mine about my culture and i remembered my grandma and i. yeah.#and i also saw stuff from my old hobbies that i had to give up on due to money/time constraints and i just. yeah.#and not to forget all the stuff from my former friends… i swear i always get ghosted the moment we affirm that we’re friends lol#am i a walking maxed social link or something? lol? yeah i have no irl friends. none.#i’ve gotten used to it though~ i don’t mind having no friends. it leaves me with more time for myself and my sleep~#it’s just that… sometimes i get the urge to hop over the country border for some ~chewing gum~ shopping… but there’s no one to go with lol#or like when i see interesting-looking events going on at local attractions but there’s no one to check it out with… or something.#and that got me wondering… am i just wasting my life or something? it’s a new year right? so i should make some lifestyle changes too right?#…and so i bought a hairdryer for the first time a few days back. yeah. that’s enough change for 1 year. lol#who needs friends when you can have a nice warm hairdryer? blast away good pal!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyways yeah. that’s my 3am rant of the day. sorry if you read this lol#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂#h e lp i forgot to disable rbs on this for a bit i hate 3am brain smmmm </3
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The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.
My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.
If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.
I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.
But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.
I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.
But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.
So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.
My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.
But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.
I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.
I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.
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Hey Google where the FUCK is my holo og Raichu card????
#sucktacular sucks#im going through my old cards to clean up and play with later#but i swear to GOD im missing cards i DEFINITELY had???#like im sure that poor beast was beat to shit and covered in god knows what#but also like... :( raichu?? whered you go buddy#i swear i had a holo vaporeon too but shes just not here#im really really good at keeping track of my shit so its actually driving me a little mad#where did you go. when did you go. how did you go. what the fug#like theres a possibility maybe some how theyre still at my parents place#but i kept them all in a box and Made Sure to take them with me a few years ago#i put all of my cards in a binder like last year or something#i have my other holos but like.... whered you go baby come baaaaack#i will never be able to replace you LOL#like its Not An Issue but also#when i lose things that i know i didnt get rid of it makes me so ...#out of control? nfjshdj#i know every last inch of my room and the contents of things i own in my house rn#and babes it definitely is Not here#again its not the end of the world i dont even need it and im not gonna replace it rn#but like its the fact I Dont Know what happened to it is Infuriating#i Will lose my mind about it for the next 24 hours and then promptly forget and move on#anyway anyone else ever forget a specific personal life thing or lose something#and your first instinct is like: i bet if i google it i will find the answer#like for a brief second i lived in a world where i could ask google#hey where the FUCK did my raichu go#google: its mine now idiot
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WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i don’t have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess i’ll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjork’s not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasn’t that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what i’m pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when i’m done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i can’t#use commas tho make’s this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isn’t even that messy but#don’t know where else i would’ve put it it’s not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didn’t i’m usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess i’m going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i don’t even need it right i’ve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore i’m kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name i’ts#got good mouth feel and it’s fun to spell i didn’t realize how long filling 30 tags would be what’s 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time i’ve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and i’m a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it i’m getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me i’ve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but i’m better at writing songs with vocals i’ve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics it’s been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter can’t w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you can’t make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh i’d rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this don’t think about it oh look behin#d you there’s a distraction oh you’ve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag i’m doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
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The Yapping Hour is Upon Us
In which Max decides that maybe doing interviews isn't such a bad thing.
Warnings: jos verstappen mention ew Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.5k plus social media posts
Series Master List Main Master List
TheYappingHour posted:
349,219 likes liked by redbullracing, charlesleclerc, and others TheYappingHour Back at it this week with a very super top secret special guest. I simply can't wait to reveal who's on this weeks pod, you guys! You're going to DIE. (peep the clue in the second picture!) user928 her podcast set up is so aesthetic i can't user0928 RED BULL??? what does this meeeeeean??? >>>user1211 she hasn't done a ton of athletes in the past, maybe she got one of the Red Bull athletes!! user00291 DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN. (shhh let me be delulu for a minute) >>>user221 as much as i'd love that, we all know how much Max hates interviews.
There was absolutely no reason why having Max Verstappen on your podcast should be making you this nervous. You’ve interviewed actual heads of state, a former president, and royalty for crying out loud and you’re losing your mind over Max fucking Verstappen? You supposed it came from the fact that you had spent most of your childhood traveling from track to track to watch your dad race in NASCAR, racing was in your blood and you knew how revered and idolized Max was. And how rabid his fans could get. You wanted to get this interview right. Needed to get this interview right. Motorsport were still a huge part of your life, even if you weren’t really outwardly an active fan. You never missed a NASCAR or F1 race and while you considered yourself a Ferrari girlie, Red Bull was most certainly your second team.
“Everything ready?” Your assistant Shannon pokes her head in as you fluff the last throw pillow on the cream colored lounge chair. Scanning the room, everything looks to be in order. The two overstuffed chairs dominate the center of the small recording studio, each with a microphone set up on a small side table next to each chair. Instrumental versions of Taylor Swift songs floated out of small speakers tucked away and a few candles burned in the low light of the studio, creating the exact ambiance you were famous for.
You’d been doing your podcast, The Yapping Hour, for nearly five years now and it was now one of the most popular podcasts being produced. You specialized in relaxed interviews of people that the general public don’t get to see relaxed very often. Your big break had come about 3 years ago when you had somehow managed to land an interview with Michelle Obama, her episode was still the most streamed episode of yours to date. Everyone had fallen in love with your interview style, how you got these normally highly media trained individuals to drop their guard down a little and be real for even just an hour. It gave people such a unique glimpse behind the curtain of fame and your fans ate up every bit of it.
“I think so!” You nod, smoothing down the front of your boyfriend cut jeans even though the denim is perfectly ironed without a single wrinkle.
“Good, because he just pulled in the parking lot.” Shannon smirks. She knows how nervous you are for this interview and is insisting it’s because you have a crush on the driver. Which would utterly unprofessional if it were true. But it wasn’t true. At all. “And he’s driving this matte black Aston Martin.” She closes her eyes as she bites her lip, smirk growing even wider.
“Okay, let’s cool it on the hero worship.” You warn, following Shannon out into the lobby of the building.
Outside, it’s a dreary late April morning in the heart of downtown London. You had traveled from your home base in New York City just for this interview but had been surprised at how much you liked the ambiance and energy in the city. So much so that you had extended your stay a few extra weeks. The good thing about being your own boss of a podcast was that you could literally work from anywhere you had your laptop.
Peering out into the parking lot, you’re surprised to see a lone figure in jeans and what looked to be a Red Bull windbreaker, hustling across the pavement towards the door. When he approaches the door, Shannons steps forward to open the door, a gust of wind whipping at your hair when Max comes bustling in through the doors.
“Hello!” Max’s voice sends involuntary shivers down your spine, a feeling you fight hard to shove down. This is not the time to be a fan girl, you remind yourself.
“Hi Max, thank you so much for joining us today! Can I get you some water or maybe some tea?” Shannons steps forward first, extending her hand.
Max takes it and gives her a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Water is fine, thanks.”
“Max, it’s such a pleasure to meet you.” You step forward then, the heels of your black Louboutain’s clicking on the hardwood floor as you approach him. It takes every ounce of focus you have not to react at what feels like a white hot spark flickering over your skin when his hand touches yours for the first time.
“Pleasure is mine.” He murmurs, cat like smirk replacing the warm smile that had greeted Shannon. Your social media did you absolutely no justice and Max was finding it hard to keep his composure you were so pretty.
“Are we waiting on anyone else or is it just you today?” You ask, eyes darting above his shoulder to see if there was anyone still in the parking lot.
“Why? Will I be needing my body guard today?” He quips as he follows you towards the recording studio.
You pray the dim lights in the studio hide the way you’ve gone pink. “Of course not! It’s just that normally the people I have on the show travel with an…entourage.”
“I don’t like people.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious fact in the universe. “I prefer to travel solo. Besides, I’m no Queen of the Netherlands or Justin Trudeau, I don’t really need an entourage.”
He casually drops two of your biggest interviews like it’s nothing and you feel the pink tinge of your cheeks heat to a crimson red. “You’ve listened to the show then?”
He nods, taking the seat you offer him as Shannon and your AV guy Steve bustle around getting things set up. A bottle of water appears for each of you and you take out the pages of notes you’ve made even though you’ve got all the questions memorized. You like to be prepared and prefer your interviews to be more conversational, less question and answer.
“I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” His eyes hold this glint of mischief that if you were less of a professional, would have you biting your lip and kicking your feet. Truth was, Max had spent an ungodly amount of time on your socials and wikipedia page, obsessing over you and your career.
“And yet you still came.” You tease.
“I did.” He says simply and you can’t help but notice how his gaze briefly drops from your eyes down to your lips and quickly back up. It’s so quick that if you weren’t in the business of watching and observing people, you probably would have missed it. But those baby blue eyes of Max’s are so easy to read, all you can do is grin back at him.
“Well, thank you for making the trek into London today. I do appreciate it.”
You briefly explain how the interview is going to work, how Steve is going to make sure everything is set up and recording, how you’ll post audio and video versions and that he can have final say in anything that goes in or stays out of the interview. You’ve found that a lot of your guests appreciate that little clause and in the five years you’ve been doing the show only a handful of bits have been kept out. You like to think it’s because you’re good at what you do and get people to open up on a level that they feel comfortable with.
Steve finally gives you the okay and you settle into the cozy lounge chair, Max sitting comfortably in the one opposite you.
“Thank you again for joining me today, Max. I’ve got to admit, I was a little surprised when your manager said you’d agreed to come on the show. You don’t do a lot of lengthy interviews and I could only find a handful of podcast appearances over the years. So, why The Yapping Hour? Why now?”
Max takes a sip of water before placing it on the table beside him. His shoulders are relaxed, his ankle sitting on his knee is a causal pose. You’ve become a veritable body language expert since starting the show and you can already tell this is going to be a good interview.
“I like your style.” His blunt answer throws you off for a moment and your cheeks heat. Again. You make a mental note to make sure they edit your complexion in post production to take the blush out. “GP sent me the one you did with Dale Earnhardt Jr a few months ago and I was impressed at how authentic you were. Dale is a character but you got a lot of depth out of him. Your questions went beyond the typical ‘what’s your favorite race track.’”
“Well, thank you. That is quite the compliment coming from you.” For the third time in a short time, you blush at the compliments this man is handing out left and right.
Your eyes flicker above Max’s shoulder to where Shannon and Steve sit, their smug faces tell you that you’re not imagining him flirting with you.
“I have to tell you, I went karting with a few friends in prep for this interview and oh my God, I’ve been sore ever since! I can't imagine how hard an F1 car is on your body. Talk to me a little bit about your training sch-…”
“You went karting as research?” He interrupts you, face a mask of disbelief.
Now it’s your turn to smirk, “Of course, I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” You toss him a wink and enjoy the way your stomach flips when his ears go a bit pink. “My dad beat me by almost 20 seconds and I don’t think I’ll ever hear the end of it, but it was worth it. I can see why so many people get hooked, it was so fun.”
“Karting with a NASCAR legend had to make it a little better though, yeah?”
“You know my dad?” Your brows nearly hit your hairline, you’re so surprised at this. Your dad had been long retired before Max had come onto the racing scene and there wasn’t a huge overlap in fan bases between F1 and NASCAR.
Max nods, “He was racing around the time Jos was in F1. I still remember that one Daytona 500 where he stole the win from Earnhardt Jr on the last lap after he’d led for the entire race.”
You tilt your head back laughing and Max thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard, fully entranced by the long column of your neck that’s suddenly exposed. “Oh God, dad is going to die when he hears you know about that race.”
“Have either of you been to an F1 race yet?” A plan begins to form in Max’s head.
“No!" You lean forward to swat at his arm playfullt. I’ve tried a few times but it’s always fallen through. I do watch most of the races though, as long as my schedule permits. Sometimes it’s easier when you guys are in Europe because the races are so early in New York, it’s easy to watch them from bed on Sunday mornings.”
The image of you wrapped up in a fluffy duvet wearing nothing but his t-shirt as you watch him race nearly sends Max into orbit. He blinks furiously, trying to get that vision out of his mind so he can pay attention to you.
“Tell me this then, if you could pick any garage to watch the race which one would it be and why would it be Red Bull?"
You can’t help that laugh that explodes from you then and Max preens under your attention, smile stretching wide across his handsome face. “You know, I could have sworn it was my name on the podcast Instagram page.” You tease, giving him a wink. “You keep asking me questions, I’m going to be out of a job, Verstappen.”
“I can’t help it when the interviewer is much more interesting than I am.” He murmurs, taking another sip of water without taking his eyes off of you.
The rest of the interview continues on for the next two hours and you get so much content you feel a little dizzy at the thought of having to cut over half of the episode. For the first time in the podcast’s history, you may have to split this into two episodes. Max doesn’t mind one bit, finding that he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be with how easy he finds it talking to you.
You wrap up the interview over an hour past the time you had told Max’s press officer it would last but neither of you make any movement to get up, despite both Shannon and Steve beginning to wrap things up.
“I’m so sorry I kept you this long, Max. I know you’re not a huge fan of lengthy interviews.”
Max just shrugs, “If all interviews were like this, I probably would say yes to a lot more of them.”
You grin over at him as you rise, realizing the sun is setting outside and your stomach is aching for food. Max follows suit, although he feels a clench in his stomach realizing that his time with you is coming to an end.
“Can I ask you something?” He says when Shannon and Steve walk out of the studio, leaving the two of you alone.
You look up at him and nod earnestly, “Of course!”
“Why didn’t you ask me about my childhood? Usually it’s one of the first things people ask me, especially in these kinds of interviews.”
You shrug, face heating at being found out. “Like you, I do my research and I figured you might not want to talk about that part of your life. I want my guests to feel comfortable when they come on the show, not immediately put on the defensive. I guess I thought there were other more important topics…”
Your words hang in the air, heavy between you two. Something in Max’s chest aches at the simple kindness you’ve extended him. It’s true, he doesn’t like revisiting his childhood very often, especially when it’s recorded and will be put on the internet. His dad was very much still in his life, obviously, and while he had done a lot of work to move past his childhood, it was still painful to talk about.
“Thats…wow. Thank you.” Is all he can manage, voice thick with emotion.
“Of course.” You murmur, reaching out to touch his elbow in what you hope comes across as a comforting gesture.
Max’s eyes drop to where your slender fingers rest on his bare arm before a smile stretches back across his face. “I know it’s kind of last minute but you were saying earlier you’d never been to a race. We’re in Miami next weekend and I’d love it if you were my guest…”
You can’t help the flutter in your chest at how nervous he appears standing before you. Your eyes dart over to Shannon, the official keeper of your schedule and are delighted when she nods vigorously, phone in hand with your calendar already pulled up. You made a mental note to give that girl a raise ASAP. “I would love to, Max.”
“Yeah?” He sounds almost shocked that you had agreed so quickly.
“Yeah.” You say, a hint of a giggle at the edge of your voice.
“How about I take you out to dinner tonight and we can work out the details.”
“Why Max Verstappen, I had no idea you were this smooth.”
TheYappingHour posted
987,392 likes liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, susiewolff, and others TheYappingHour SURPRISE! Part one of my interview with none other than 3 time F1 world champion Max Verstappen is live on all socials RIGHT NOW. (yeah, I said part 1! We both yapped so much you're getting a part two next week!) user9382 the chemistry between these two was OFF THE CHARTS >>>user111 ikr? i felt like i was interrupting something the entire hour. MaxVerstappen1 it was a pleasure meeting you! can't wait to see you in Miami this weekend! >>>user2999 MAX WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER IN MIAMI. >>>user999 stfu she is so coming to the Miami race?? MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN. user3210 has she ever done a two parter before??? not even the Queen of the Netherlands got a two parter!! user9928 i don't think i've ever seen Max this relaxed during an interview EVER. >>>user222 seriously! He was like a little boy with a crush then entire time.
yourpersonalinsta posted
234,100 likes liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, michelle obama, and others yourpersonalinsta we yapped some more and stuffed our faces. til next time, maxie! (tagged: maxverstappen1) user999 not michelle obama herself in the likes maxverstappen1 you're going to be trouble in miami, aren't you? >>>yourpersonalinsta what do you think? ;) >>>user9932 oh my godddddd user028 this is the couple i didn't know i needed
tag list (some of you only requested to be on a series tag list but i am not organized enough for that. lmk if you want to be removed!! also fingers crossed this tag list works this time ffs. sorry!)
@anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream
#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fluff
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RAFE CAMERON - that’s so true
x HIGH MAINTENANCE! KOOK !FEM!reader - MASTERLIST
SUMMARY: you're insecure about your relationship with rafe, when he gets closer with sofia
WORD COUNT: +5.2k
GENRE: ANGST to fluff
CONTENT WARNING: /
listen to 'that's so true' from gracie abrams for better experience <3.
‘i could go and read your mind
think about your dumb face all the time
living in your glass house, i’m outside, uh’
the late afternoon sun filtered through the wide windows of tannyhill’s living room, casting a golden glow on the sprawling estate. you sat cross-legged on the plush cream couch, scrolling through your phone with one hand while idly tugging at the hem of your baby pink knit sweater with the other. notifications of luxury sales popped up intermittently, but your heart wasn’t in it today. instead, your mind was somewhere else. more accurately, on someone else.
across the room, rafe cameron leaned casually against the kitchen island, deep in conversation with sofia. the sound of her laugh—the kind that wasn’t too loud, not too fake—floated over, making your stomach twist.
sofia wasn’t your idea of a kook, not the kind who frequented boutiques or spent hours curating their aesthetic. her laid-back charm was effortless, her simple jeans and oversized hoodie a stark contrast to the tailored mini-skirt you had on. she didn’t even wear jewelry. yet, here she was, drawing rafe in with that natural ease, her hair in a messy braid like she didn’t care, and maybe she didn’t.
you hated how it made you feel. jealous. small. stupid.
“she’s kind,” you had said casually a week ago, after introducing him to her at a party. “quiet and smart girl. we grew up together.”
kind. quiet. the opposite of you.
rafe laughed at something she said, his face lighting up with that rare, genuine smile that made your chest ache. he looked at sofia like she reminded him of simpler times, back when life wasn’t all country club politics and family business drama. you tried to shove the feeling down, but it clawed its way back up, leaving you restless.
were you too much? the bi-weekly nail appointments, the balayage touch-ups every few months, the shopping sprees that felt more like therapy—was that what made you wrong for rafe? you’d caught a glimpse of sofia’s chipped nail polish earlier, and it was the type of thing rafe would probably call “charming.”
the thought was a jagged knife, twisting in your gut.
“babe, you good?” rafe’s voice broke your spiraling thoughts.
you looked up, startled, realizing he was staring at you now, his brows furrowed in mild concern. sofia was gone—when had she left?—and it was just you and rafe in the quiet hum of the room.
“yeah,” you lied, pasting on a smile. “just tired.”
“you sure?” he came closer, towering over you with his familiar scent of cologne and something distinctly rafe. his rough hand brushed your knee, a touch that was meant to reassure but only made you feel more exposed.
you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “positive.”
he didn’t look convinced, but he let it slide, sitting down next to you and pulling you into his side. you let yourself sink into him, resting your head against his shoulder. the warmth of his body should’ve been comforting, but all it did was remind you of how far away you felt.
outside, the sun was setting, its rays casting shadows through the glass windows. you thought about sofia, imagined her in her car with the windows down, humming along to the radio, not worrying about being enough for anyone. and then you thought about yourself—polished, perfect, but perpetually on the outside, peering into rafe’s world, a world where you never felt like you truly fit.
rafe pressed a kiss to your forehead. “you’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”
“of course,” you whispered, even though it wasn’t true.
‘looking into big blue eyes
did it just to hurt me and make me cry
smiling through it all, yeah, that’s my life’
the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air as you sat on the edge of the beach blanket, digging your manicured nails into the soft fabric. rafe and sofia were waist-deep in the ocean, laughing as the current pushed them around. she squealed when a wave hit her back, and rafe threw his head back in laughter, that easy, carefree laugh you loved so much.
but it wasn’t directed at you.
“you’re not going in?” sarah asked, plopping down next to you with her iced tea in hand. she stretched her legs out, glancing at you sideways.
“not really feeling it,” you replied, plastering on a smile as you smoothed the hem of your sundress. you didn’t trust yourself to look at the water again, not with how raw you were already feeling.
sofia’s voice cut through the air. “rafe! stop!” she shrieked, laughing as he splashed her with water. they looked like a scene out of some beachy rom-com—his strong frame towering over her, her golden-brown hair clinging to her neck as she playfully shoved him.
sarah gave you a look, one you didn’t need right now.
“what?” you asked, feigning confusion.
“don’t what me. you’re sitting here stewing when you should just talk to him.”
“there’s nothing to talk about,” you said quickly. too quickly.
sarah sighed. “you’ve been weird ever since sofia came back from europe. she’s your best friend. rafe’s your boyfriend. you need to chill.”
“yeah, i know that,” you snapped, guilt immediately twisting in your stomach. sarah wasn’t wrong, but the truth was too tangled for you to admit out loud.
you turned your head to steal another glance at them. sofia threw her head back in a laugh, her face turned toward the setting sun, water glistening off her skin like she was straight out of a magazine spread. and rafe, with his piercing blue eyes, couldn’t seem to look away from her.
your chest felt tight. you wanted to believe his gaze was harmless, that it was just the kind of attention sofia naturally drew wherever she went. but some dark, irrational part of you whispered that it wasn’t—that rafe was looking at sofia the way you wished he always looked at you.
they started heading back toward the beach, their laughter fading into the sound of the waves. you quickly fixed your expression, schooling it into something neutral, something practiced.
“hey!” sofia grinned as she plopped down next to you, wringing water out of her hair. “you missed out. the waves were amazing.”
“yeah, i just got my hair done,” you smiled lightly, ignoring the pang in your chest.
“your loss,” rafe said as he dropped beside you, his arm slinging around your shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.
you leaned into him, smiling like you always did. sofia leaned over to pull a drink out of the cooler, and your gaze flicked between her and rafe, catching a glimpse of his blue eyes lingering on her for just a second too long.
your heart sank. but you didn’t say anything.
instead, you smiled wider, locking it all away like you always did. this was your life, wasn’t it? loving rafe. loving sofia. watching them shine brighter than you ever could while you tried not to let the cracks show.
‘you’re an idiot, now i’m sure
now i’m positive, i should go and warn her’
the door to rafe’s room slammed shut behind you, the echo reverberating in your chest as you stood there, arms crossed, staring him down. the tension in the air was thick, neither of you willing to break the silence first.
it had started small, like these things always did. a casual question from rafe about why you’d been quiet lately, his concern laced with impatience when you deflected for the third time that day.
“you don’t even let me pay for anything anymore,” rafe said, his tone edged with irritation. “when was the last time you asked me to cover your nails, or your hair, or whatever? that’s what i’m here for.”
your stomach twisted, but you didn’t let it show. “i don’t need your money, rafe. i have my own.”
“that’s not the point,” he shot back, stepping closer. “it’s what i do. i’ve always done it. why are you shutting me out like this?”
“i’m not shutting you out,” you argued, your voice rising slightly. “i just don’t see why you have to make it a big deal every time i don’t ask you for something. maybe i don’t want to depend on you for every little thing.”
“that’s not what this is about, and you know it,” he said, his voice low, like he was trying to keep his temper in check. “you’ve been different, and now you’re acting like this is all on me?”
“i just don’t want to talk about it, okay?” you’d said, your voice sharper than you intended.
“that’s all you ever say now,” he shot back, raking a hand through his hair. “you’ve been acting weird for weeks, and i’m just supposed to ignore it?”
“i’m fine, rafe,” you insisted, even though you weren’t. not even close.
he let out a humorless laugh, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. “you know, for someone who talks as much as you, you sure don’t know how to open up when it matters.”
the words stung, more than you wanted to admit. you hated how he could get under your skin so easily, how he could take your worst fear—being too much and not enough at the same time—and throw it in your face without even realizing it.
“i’m going out,” you said abruptly, grabbing your purse and heading for the door.
“of course you are,” he muttered, not stopping you.
now, walking briskly through the cool, air-conditioned expanse of the shopping center, you tried to push the fight out of your mind. Retail therapy had always been your escape, and today was no different. the rhythmic click of your heels on the polished floor, the weight of designer bags in your hand—it was comforting, a distraction.
you turned into a high-end boutique, your favorite. the scent of expensive leather and vanilla greeted you, and you lost yourself in the rows of clothes, running your fingers over silky fabrics and embroidered details. you could almost forget the tightness in your chest, the ache that rafe’s words had left behind.
almost.
and then you saw her. sofia.
she was standing by the display of bags near the entrance, her back to you. she looked effortless as always, her hair falling in soft waves, her casual outfit perfectly understated. she was laughing softly at something the sales associate had said, the kind of laugh that seemed to echo in your mind even when she wasn’t there.
your heart twisted.
you thought about the fight with rafe, about how you’d stormed out without looking back. you thought about sofia, about how easy it was for her to exist in the same spaces you had to fight to belong in. and for a fleeting, bitter moment, you wondered if rafe would’ve preferred having her there instead of you.
she hadn’t seen you yet. you could walk over, say hi, pretend everything was fine like you always did. or you could keep going, let the distance grow a little wider.
you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder and turned on your heel, walking past the boutique’s floor-length windows without sparing her a glance.
your phone buzzed in your hand as you entered a store. a text from rafe.
r :3
we need to talk when you get home.
your stomach churned, but you didn’t reply. not yet. you couldn’t face him, not like this. not when you were still reeling from the fight and the sight of sofia, from the gnawing feeling that you didn’t know who you were mad at anymore—sofia, rafe, or yourself.
another buzz.
r :3
i sent you $100. get something you want.
a bitter laugh escaped your lips. was this his way of apologizing, or trying to prove a point?
you slipped your phone into your purse, plastering on a smile for the cashier as you handed over your credit card. this was your life, wasn’t it? smiling through it all, even when you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it up.
‘ooh, bet you’re thinking she’s so cool
kickin�� back on your couch, making eyes from across the room
wait, i think i’ve been there too, ooh’
the steady hum of the air conditioning was the only sound in your room as you sat at the edge of your bed, staring at your phone. the screen lit up with a new message from sofia.
s<3
hey, i was thinking we should all hang out at tannyhill tonight. you, me, sarah—just a chill night. what do you think?
you bit your lip, hesitating. it had been a long day of avoiding rafe and thinking about him and sofia, about their chemistry that felt so effortless. you and sofia had been best friends for years, but lately, every time she invited you to hang out, it felt like something was missing, like the space between you two had grown wider.
but still… you couldn't shake the feeling that if you went, you’d just be putting on a show, pretending everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t. you didn’t even know what to say to her anymore, let alone to sarah. the thought of sitting around with them, pretending to have a good time, when your mind kept drifting back to the fight with rafe—it felt exhausting.
you typed out a response, your fingers heavy on the keys.
not tonight. don't feel good. rain check?
you stared at the message for a long moment, the weight of it sinking in. rain check. you were avoiding them. you were avoiding everyone
you hit send.
the moment the message left your screen, you shoved your phone into the bedside drawer and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. the silence was deafening, the emptiness of the room suffocating. you closed your eyes, but even in the dark, your mind couldn’t stop spinning.
you imagined rafe at tannyhill with sofia and sarah. maybe they were all hanging out by the pool, laughing at some stupid joke sofia made, her hand casually brushing against rafe’s as they both leaned in to listen to sarah’s gossip. maybe rafe had his arm around sofia’s shoulders, that easy smile of his lighting up his face.
maybe rafe didn’t even notice how he was looking at her. maybe sofia didn’t even know how much it bothered you. but in your mind, it didn’t matter. they were perfect for each other in a way that you didn’t think you could ever be.
a dull ache spread through your chest, and your mind kept playing out the scene—rafe leaning in, talking to sofia in that easy, intimate way that made you feel invisible, like you didn’t even exist in the same world.
the thought hit you hard, almost like a punch to the gut. you’d seen them before, seen that look in his eyes when he wasn’t thinking about it, when it was so effortless. you had been there too. you had been the one sitting on the outside, watching the two of them, wondering if it was just in your head or if rafe truly felt something for sofia.
you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to shake the images from your mind. but the more you tried to push them away, the clearer they became. you could almost hear the sound of their laughter echoing in the distance, and it felt like you were drowning in it, unable to catch your breath.
you didn’t know when it had become like this, when everything had started to feel like a competition you weren’t even aware you were part of.
you heard your phone buzz from inside the drawer, pulling you from your thoughts.
a from rafe.
r :3
where are you?
you stared at the screen, your thumb hovering over the reply button. what could you even say? that you were imagining him and sofia at tannyhill, laughing without a care? that you were afraid of losing him to someone like her?
you didn’t reply. instead, you slid your phone back into the drawer, pulled the covers over your head, and tried to forget everything for a little while longer.
‘what’d she do to get you off? (uh-huh)
taking down her hair like, “Oh my God!”
taking off your shirt, i did that once, or twice, uh’
‘no, i know, i know, fuck off (off)
but i think i like her, she’s so fun
wait, i think i hate her, i’m not that evolved’
the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting an orange glow over the beach as you sat down on the sand, the familiar saltwater breeze blowing through your hair. kiara plopped down beside you, her sneakers kicking up a cloud of sand as she settled in, her brow furrowed in that way she did when she knew something was off.
“okay, seriously, what’s going on with you and rafe?” she asked, her voice gentle but direct.
you sighed, dropping your gaze to the sand between your feet. “what do you mean?”
kiara’s eyes softened with concern. “i haven’t seen you two together in forever. and you’ve been off, too. something’s not right.”
you let out a breath, staring at the horizon. “i don’t know, Kie. it’s... complicated.”
kiara raised an eyebrow. “complicated? that’s the word you use after dating for what—how long? over two years now?”
“yeah, well, that’s the thing,” you muttered, biting your lip. “it’s just been—” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “i don’t know. lately, it feels like rafe doesn’t even notice me. like, i’m always there, but not really there, you know?”
kiara tilted her head, studying you with concern. “what do you mean, not really there? he’s not paying attention to you?”
oyu shook your head, frustration bubbling up. “no, it’s like... he’s distant. he’s always been this way with me, but recently, it feels like it’s worse. like he’s more into sofia, or just... not into me, i guess. we’ve been fighting a lot.”
kiara was quiet for a moment, looking out at the waves. “okay, so, this has to do with sofia, doesn’t it?”
you let out a dry laugh, your gaze falling to your hands, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “yeah. yeah, it does.”
kie glanced at you sharply, her eyes narrowing. “you’ve always been close with sofia, right? she’s your best friend.”
“i know,” you replied, almost too quickly. “i love sofia, so much. she’s my best friend. i should be happy for her, right? but—” you stopped yourself, the words forming before you could stop them. “but, something i think... i just hate her, too.”
kiara’s eyes softened, and she reached across the table, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
“you’re not crazy for feeling this way. but don’t let it eat you alive. don’t let it destroy your relationship. if rafe’s the one, you need to talk to him about it. you need to tell him how you’re feeling, because keeping it all inside isn’t doing anyone any favors, especially not you.”
you took a shaky breath, feeling like there was more you needed to say, but didn’t have the words for. kiara was right, of course. you couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine when it was falling apart, but how could you explain the mess of emotions that tangled inside you? how could you put into words the way you felt about sofia—how much you loved her, and at the same time, how much you resented her for just being everything you weren’t?
“you’re right,” you finally muttered, still not fully convinced. “i just don’t know if i can handle it. what if i tell him and it just makes things worse?”
she gave you a knowing look. “you’ll never know until you try.”
you looked out over the horizon, the last rays of sunlight casting long shadows over the ground. you didn’t have the answers, but one thing was clear: you couldn’t keep living in this limbo, hating the things you couldn’t change, and pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t. you needed to figure it out, for your own sake.
“thanks, kie,” you whispered, leaning back in your chair, the weight of your emotions still heavy, but just a little bit lighter now that you’d said it out loud.
‘i’m sorry she’s missing it, sad, sad boy
not my business, but i had to warn ya’
‘ooh, bet you’re thinking she’s so cool
kickin’ back on your couch, making eyes from across the room
wait, i think i’ve been there too, ooh’
oh-ooh (ooh), you’ve got me thinking (got me) she’s so cool (ooh)
but i know what i know, and you’re just another dude
ooh, that’s so true, ooh’
you had barely finished talking with kiara when your phone buzzed again, pulling your attention back to the screen. it was sofia.
hey, i just wanted to check in. are you mad at me? i feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately…
you froze, your heart tightening. it had been a few days since you’d distanced yourself from her, but you hadn’t meant to make her feel that way. your fingers hovered over the screen, unsure of what to say. you didn’t want to hurt sofia, but you didn’t know how to explain the mess inside your head.
after a few moments, you typed out a response, trying to keep it as light as possible.
i’m not mad at you, sof. just been dealing with some stuff. it’s not about you.
you hit send, watching the little bubbles appear as she started typing. but just before her reply came through, another text popped up. rafe.
hey, i just want to clear something up. sofia’s crying in Sarah’s room. she’s upset about something you said.
your stomach churned. you quickly opened the message.
i don’t know what exactly, but you’re wrong about what you said. she hasn’t done anything to you, and i think you need to talk to her. this is getting out of hand.
you sat there, staring at the message, feeling a mixture of guilt and confusion. what did rafe mean by that? what had you said that upset sofia? your mind raced, trying to piece things together, but all you could think about was the way he’d worded it—like you were the one who was in the wrong, like your feelings didn’t matter.
the weight of the words hung in the air, pressing down on you as you tried to make sense of everything.
sofia’s upset? you thought, feeling a pang of guilt wash over you. it wasn’t your intention to hurt her, not at all. but you couldn’t deny the feelings of frustration and jealousy that had been building up. you had felt pushed to the side, like you were being replaced by someone who was just… so much easier, so much cooler than you ever seemed to be.
why does she get everything so effortlessly? you wondered bitterly, remembering the way she seemed to shine so naturally in rafe’s world, her presence so casual, so unaffected. it only made your insecurities grow, but now it felt like you were the one in the wrong.
the next message from sofia finally came through.
i just don’t want to lose you as a friend. if something’s going on, i want to talk about it.
your heart dropped as you read it. you could feel the sincerity in her words, but also the pain. you couldn’t stand the thought of her being upset, especially when it was your fault. you’d always loved sofia, but this weird, twisted feeling you had—of hating her and wanting to be like her at the same time—wasn’t something you had ever known how to deal with.
a deep breath.
you thought about rafe’s message. about how he’d said you were wrong. he was always so quick to take sofia’s side, so quick to defend her, like you were the one in the wrong, even when you were just… trying to figure everything out.
you typed slowly, your fingers reluctant, still caught in the confusion.
i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make you upset. i guess i’ve just been feeling a little off lately. things with rafe aren’t exactly… great right now.
you paused, rereading the words before hitting send, feeling vulnerable in a way you hadn’t in a long time.
not even a minute later, rafe’s name appeared on your screen again. this time, the message was short and to the point.
you need to talk to her, y/n. you’re blowing this out of proportion. just let it go and fix this shit.
the sting of his words hit harder than you expected. you clenched your jaw, resisting the urge to reply with something sharp. it wasn’t that you wanted to push him away—it was that you had no idea how to make him understand how this all made you feel.
you were getting lost in the frustration, in the feeling that no one really saw you, no one really understood where you were coming from.
but you knew you had to do something.
i’ll talk to her, you replied, the words feeling hollow. you didn’t know what you could say that would make everything right, but you knew you had to try.
you sat back against your pillow, staring at the screen, your mind racing. you thought about rafe, about sofia, about everything.
but you couldn’t let that be the end of it. not yet. you had to try. you had to fix it.
‘made it out alive, but i think i lost it.
said that i was fine, said it from the coffin.
remember how i died when you started walkin’?
that’s my life, that’s my life.’
the air was thick with tension as you stood in the living room with sofia and rafe, both of them waiting for you to say something, anything, that would explain the silence that had been hanging between you all for the past few days.
you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything you had been holding inside. “i just, need to talk,” you said, your voice quieter than you’d intended, but it was enough to make them both focus on you.
sofia was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, looking at you with a mix of confusion and concern. rafe was leaning against the wall, arms folded too, his usual laid-back demeanor slightly tense.
“i know i’ve been distant lately, and i’ve been avoiding both of you, but it’s because of how i’ve been feeling… and i need you both to know that this is about me, not you.”
sofia raised an eyebrow, glancing at rafe before turning back to you. “what do you mean?”
you took a deep breath, the words feeling heavy as you let them spill out. “i’ve been feeling... insecure. i know it’s stupid, but when i see the way you two get along, it just—it gets to me. you and rafe, you make everything look so easy. and i feel like i have to work so much harder, just to keep his attention, just to feel like I’m enough.”
there was a long, heavy pause. rafe finally spoke, his voice gentle, his expression softening. “you’re wrong, though. i’m with you because i want to be with you. sofia and i are friends, nothing more. but you're the one i want.” he stepped forward, looking at you with a sincerity you hadn’t seen in a while. “i shouldn’t have let you feel that way. i’m sorry.”
sofia looked at you with wide, understanding eyes, her lips turning into a soft smile. “look, n/n, it took me forever to even get to a point where i could be okay with hanging out with him. no offense to you, rafe, but i didn’t want to mess things up for you because i didn't like him. i didn’t want you to think i was trying to steal him away from you. i thought if i could just get along with him, that it would make you feel better .i did it for you, because i thought that’s what you needed.”
your eyes softened, and you took a shaky breath, finally feeling the weight of the situation lifting just a little. “i didn’t know that,” you whispered. “i thought... i thought maybe you two were just, i don’t know, better together. you’re both so effortless, and i feel like i’m always trying too hard to be perfect.”
sofia’s face softened as she stood up, walking over to you and pulling you into a tight hug. “you don’t need to be perfect. you’re perfect just the way you are.” she pulled back slightly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “i don’t want you to ever think i’m a threat to you, okay? you’re my best friend, and nothing is going to change that.”
rafe, who had been watching quietly, took a deep breath, stepping forward to join you both. he reached out, pulling you into a hug as well, his voice low but sincere. “and i’m not going anywhere, babe. you’re the one for me. i’m not interested in anyone else, and i should’ve made that clearer before.”
oyu closed your eyes for a moment, feeling a rush of relief, a weight finally lifting off your shoulders. “i’m sorry, both of you,” you whispered. “i should’ve talked about this sooner instead of letting it fester.”
sofia laughed softly, wiping a tear from her cheek. “we’re good, okay? we’re all good now.”
you pulled back from her, still feeling the relief in your chest. “we’re good,” you echoed, smiling at her through your own tears.
there was a long moment of silence, and then rafe cleared his throat, awkwardly stepping back. “okay, okay, this is getting a little too emotional for me,” he said with a half-smile, trying to break the tension. “can we get back to the part where we all pretend we don’t have feelings?”
you both chuckled, wiping at your eyes and trying to stifle your laughter. you grinned at him. “aw, come on, don’t be so awkward about it. you’re so cute when you’re uncomfortable.”
“yeah, yeah, alright,” rafe muttered, looking between the two of you. “but seriously, if you two are done crying, y/n, i think you should get those nails done. they’re looking a little... tacky.” he smirked, trying to lighten the mood.
you rolled your eyes playfully, looking down at your nails. “i know, right? they’ve been a disaster for weeks.”
sofia laughed, nodding. “let’s go get your nails done. it’ll be a perfect excuse to hang out together, and you can stop obsessing over whatever weird thoughts you’ve been having.”
you turned to rafe, your smile growing wider. “you know what? you’re right. they’re awful.” you made a dramatic gesture at your nails. “i need a new look.”
rafe smirked, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “i’ll pay for it,” he said casually, glancing at the wall. “go on, get whatever you want. i don’t care.”
you stared at him in surprise. “really?”
he shrugged, not meeting your eyes. “yeah, why not? you deserve it. and i’ll do whatever makes you happy, okay?”
sofia looked at you, her grin widening. “see? even rafe knows you deserve a little treat.”
you shook your head, laughing softly. “alright, fine. let’s go. but only because i need a distraction from all the feelings today.”
the three of you made your way to the door, but before you stepped out, you turned to sofia, pulling her into another hug. “thank you,” you whispered. “for everything.”
she squeezed you tight. “always. now, let’s get you those nails, and then i want to hear about everything.”
as you all walked out the door together, rafe following behind you, you couldn’t help but feel lighter, like a weight had finally been lifted. things weren’t perfect, but they were real. and for the first time in a while, you felt like everything was going to be okay.
“alright, alright,” rafe said, his voice teasing as he slapped his hands together. “let’s get this nail thing over with. and don’t get any too crazy designs.”
you laughed, leaning into sofia as you all walked down the street.
“promise,” you said, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was exactly where it needed to be.
‘i’ll put up a fight, taking out my earrings
don’t you know the vibe?
don’t you know the feeling?
‘you should spend the night,
catch me on your ceiling
that’s your prize, that’s your prize’
‘oh-ooh (ooh), you’ve got me thinking (got me) she’s so cool
but i know what i know, and you’re just another dude,
ooh, that’s so true, ooh, ooh, uh’
#lizzieswrites𝜗𝜚#girl writer#rafe x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe fluff#rafe angst#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#outer banks x reader#drew starkey x reader
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Baby Steps
Charles Leclerc x single mother!Reader
Summary: you are barely staying afloat, desperately trying to wrap your mind around your impending motherhood while juggling being a press officer for Scuderia Ferrari … Charles shows you that you don’t have to do it alone
Warnings: pregnancy, family abandonment, and harassment
You grip the edges of the trash can tightly as your stomach lurches again. The half-digested remains of your breakfast spill into the plastic liner with a sickening splatter. Straightening up slowly, you take a few deep breaths and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. The smell rising from the can makes your stomach roll threateningly once more.
Turning away quickly, you lean against the side of the Ferrari motorhome, eyes closed. The sun beats down relentlessly, and you can feel sweat beading at your hairline.
This “morning” sickness is no joke — it seems to strike at all hours of the day. You thought you had gotten away with a quick breakfast break an hour ago when Carlos was in a team briefing, but apparently not.
Footsteps on the gravel make you open your eyes. You pray it’s not a member of the press, or, god forbid, Carlos. The last thing you need is a photo of the Ferrari press officer tossing her cookies behind the paddock. But no, it’s Charles Leclerc striding towards you, his brow furrowed.
You straighten up and attempt nonchalance. “Good morning, Charles.”
He slows, glancing between you and the extremely obvious trash can of vomit. “Are you alright?”
“Oh, yeah, fine,” you say breezily. “Just a bit of food poisoning, I think. Had a questionable chicken salad for dinner yesterday.”
You notice Charles is wearing a soft grey t-shirt and track pants, his hair damp from the shower. He must have just finished with physiotherapy. He looks so effortlessly handsome, it’s frankly unfair. You suddenly feel acutely aware of the sheen of sweat on your face and your limbs heavy with fatigue.
Charles’ face remains creased in concern. “Food poisoning? Have you been to the medical center?”
You wave a hand. “Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably just 24 hours of hell before I’m back to normal.” You attempt a smile, but have to grab the trash can again as the smell from it hits you like a wave.
Charles springs forward and grabs your arm as you retch miserably. “Whoa, take it easy,” he says, supporting you until the heaving subsides.
You stay hunched over, breathing hard. The world is spinning a little. You hear Charles say firmly, “Okay, come with me. Let’s get you sat down.”
He keeps a hand under your arm and leads you into the blessedly cool motorhome. The rich scent of coffee fills the interior, reminding you that you haven’t managed to keep any food down today. You sink gratefully onto a padded bench at one of the tables.
Charles sits opposite you, his green eyes studying you intently. “When did the sickness start?”
You sigh, shoulders slumping. The jig is up. “About four weeks ago,” you mutter.
Understanding dawns on Charles’ face. “Oh. Oh!” His eyes flick down to your still-flat stomach. “So you’re ...”
“Pregnant. Yes.” You drop your head into your hands.
“Well, hey, congratulations,” says Charles gently. “That’s really exciting.”
You huff out something between a sob and a laugh. “Exciting? More like a nightmare!” You run your fingers back through your hair and look desperately at Charles. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? Not even Carlos. I can’t risk anyone finding out about this. If I lose this job ...”
Charles’ brows draw together again. “Why would you lose your job? You’re Carlos’ press officer. I’m sure he’d be thrilled for you.”
You shake your head rapidly. “No, no way. I can’t take time off. The season just started! Carlos needs me, I organize everything for him. The travel, the events, the media, everything!” You bite your lip anxiously. “Maybe … maybe after the baby comes, I can figure something out. But I have to keep this quiet until then. Please.”
Charles reaches over and lays a hand on your arm. His touch is gentle but firm. “Y/N. Working yourself into the ground won’t be good for you or the baby. Have you thought about taking a sabbatical? Just a few months to rest, focus on yourself.”
Panic flares in your chest. “No! No, I can’t.” Your breathing quickens. “You don’t understand — I have no one else. No partner. No family. This job is everything. If I lose it ...” You trail off, trying to blink back the sting of tears.
Charles is silent for a long moment. Then he says, “Okay. I understand this is your decision. And I promise I won’t tell Carlos or anyone else.” He hesitates. “But Y/N, please take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”
You nod jerkily and avoid his earnest gaze. With a shaky breath, you push yourself to your feet. The motorhome tilts sickeningly for a second.
Charles rises too, watching you with concern. “Will you be alright?”
You nod, not trusting your voice. You start to head deeper into the motorhome, desperate to lie down before the nausea returns.
“Y/N,” Charles calls after you softly. You pause, glancing back. “Congratulations again. You’re going to be a wonderful mother.” He gives you a small, warm smile.
You swallow hard. “Thank you, Charles,” you whisper. Then you turn and continue on unsteadily, one hand braced against the wall.
You make it to the small office that passes for your private quarters on race weekends. Collapsing onto the ergonomic desk chair, you stare up at the ceiling and place a hand over your still-flat belly.
A baby.
Your baby.
Fear and wonder tangle inside you.
You must have dozed off, because the next thing you know a hand is gently shaking your shoulder. You jerk awake to find Carlos standing over you, his eyebrows drawn with concern.
“Y/N? Are you ill?”
You stand up too quickly and immediately regret it as the room spins. Carlos grabs your shoulder to steady you.
“I’m fine,” you say hoarsely. “Just needed a quick nap.”
Carlos frowns, clearly unconvinced. “Charles said you were throwing up outside. That you have food poisoning?”
You make a mental note to kill Charles later. “Uh, yeah. Bad chicken salad, I think. But I’ll be okay.” You attempt a reassuring smile.
Carlos sits down on the edge of your desk, watching you closely. “Why didn’t you tell me you were unwell? You know you don’t have to worry about me, I can look after myself for one day.” His dark brown eyes are filled with worry.
Guilt twists your gut. Carlos has always been extraordinarily kind and thoughtful, a rarity in the high stakes world of Formula 1. You hate lying to him.
“I know,” you say quietly. “I just didn’t want to let you down. But you’re right, I should have said something. I’m sorry.”
Carlos shakes his head immediately. “No, don’t be sorry. Just focus on feeling better, yes? Take tomorrow off too. I order you to rest,” he adds with a small grin.
You smile weakly back. “Okay, boss.”
Carlos stands and gestures to the tiny table bolted to the wall. “I brought you some tea and crackers. Hopefully you can keep it down.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate you checking on me.”
He smiles. “Of course. Feel better, Y/N.” With a last lingering look of concern, he turns and leaves you in peace.
You look at the steaming tea and crackers and feel tears prick your eyes again. Carlos is a good man. Too good, probably, for the pragmatic demands of Formula 1. You know you should tell him about the pregnancy. But the thought of losing your place here, on this team, fills you with dread.
This high stakes world of racing is all you’ve known for the past three years. You can’t imagine life outside the bubble of the paddock, away from the adrenaline and pressure. Away from the team. Away from Carlos. Away from Charles.
With a deep breath, you sit up straight and tear open the crackers. You need to think about this rationally. Maybe Charles is right and you do need to slow down eventually. But for now, for the next few months at least, you have to keep going like nothing has changed.
You place a hand on your stomach as you nibble a cracker. “It’s gonna be okay, little one,” you whisper. “We’ll figure this out.”
***
The smell of coffee turns your stomach these days, but you still make your way blearily to the breakfast buffet each morning. Carlos is an early riser, and you need to be available whenever he is ready to start the day. You scan the offerings, deciding toast is the safest option, and reach for a couple of dry slices.
“Oh, Y/N!”
You turn to see Charles holding out a pre-packaged parfait cup. “I grabbed an extra yogurt by mistake. Do you want it?”
You hesitate. Your first instinct is suspicion — this is the third time this week Charles has “accidentally” had an extra snack to offer you. But the yogurt does look appealing ...
“Sure, thanks,” you say, taking the cup from him. Charles shoots you a smile before grabbing a plate and continuing down the buffet.
You sit down next to Carlos with your toast and yogurt. He glances up from his phone. “Morning. Feeling better today?”
You nod, mouth full. In truth, the nausea has continued, but you’ve gotten better at hiding it from Carlos and powered through.
Charles joins you both a few minutes later, greeted by Carlos with a fist bump. You peel open your yogurt while half-listening to the two men discuss the upcoming practices.
The sweet, fruity parfait is cool and soothing on your sensitive stomach. You find yourself polishing it off in record time. As you scrape the last bit of yogurt from the bottom, you realize Charles is watching you.
“Good?” He asks.
You lick the plastic spoon clean before answering. “Yeah, really hit the spot, thanks.”
Charles’ eyes crinkle with a smile. “No problem. I’ll try to grab two tomorrow.”
You feel your smile grow fixed. This is getting ridiculous. Charles Leclerc does not care this much about your yogurt preferences. He’s up to something.
Over the next week, Charles’ thoughtfulness continues. A cold bottle of water when you’re looking hot and tired. A sandwich from a local bakery when you missed lunch. Your favorite chocolate bar when you mention a craving in passing. Always with an innocent smile, as if he’s not playing Superman to your pretend Lois Lane.
It all comes to a head on race day. You’re in the scorching sun on the grid, already feeling the fatigue of the hectic weekend. Carlos is doing his pre-race routine, so your attention has lapsed. Suddenly a blessedly cold bottle of water appears in front of your face. You look up to see Charles grinning down at you.
“Stay hydrated,” he says with a wink.
That does it. “Okay, enough!” You snap, smacking the water bottle away. It falls to the ground with a thud, water glugging out.
Charles’ eyes go wide with shock. “Y/N?”
Grabbing his arm, you pull Charles several steps away from eavesdropping mechanics. “Why are you doing this?” You hiss. “I don’t need you to baby me!”
“What?” Charles looks completely bewildered. “I’m just trying to help-”
“Well, stop,” you interrupt sharply. The hurt on Charles’ face makes you falter, but you press on. “I don’t need your pity. I’m fine.”
“Pity?” Charles frowns. “It’s not pity, Y/N. I care about you.” He places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You’re always taking care of everyone around you. Now you need someone to take care of you too.”
His kind words hit you like a gut punch. Oh God, the stupid hormones! You feel hot tears spring to your eyes.
Charles’ alarmed expression softens. “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you ...” He pulls you into a hug. One hand smoothes your hair while the other rubs comforting circles on your back.
“Shh, it’s alright,” he murmurs. You cling to him, embarrassed by your raw emotional response but unable to stop the tears.
After a minute the wave passes. You pull back, wiping your eyes. “Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Charles smiles kindly. “Nothing is wrong with you. But I understand this is a difficult time.” His expression turns serious. “If you ever need anything, please ask me. I’m here for you.”
Looking up into Charles’ earnest green eyes, you feel a rush of gratitude. Whatever awkwardness lingers between you has evaporated. Charles is a true friend.
You squeeze his hand. “Thank you. That means a lot.” Glancing around, you notice some odd looks from passing crew members. “We should probably get back to work before people think there’s a full-blown soap opera going on over here.”
Charles grins. “Agreed. But this conversation isn’t over. Dinner tonight in my room?” He raises an eyebrow.
You laugh, blinking away the last dampness from your eyes. “It’s a date.”
***
You smooth your hands down your dress as you approach Charles’ hotel suite, suddenly feeling nervous. You’ve been in drivers’ rooms countless times for work, but this feels different. More intimate.
You take a steadying breath and knock. Charles opens the door, looking unfairly handsome in a crisp button down shirt.
“Y/N! Come in.” He steps back to allow you inside.
The suite is spacious and modern, with floor to ceiling windows along one wall looking out over the glittering city. Charles leads you through the living area to a set of glass doors. “I thought we could eat out on the balcony,” he explains, opening the doors with a flourish. “The fresh air will be good for you and baby.”
You step outside and have to stifle a gasp. A small table is elegantly set for two, a vase of flowers in the center. String lights twinkle overhead. “Charles, this is beautiful!”
He looks pleased. “I’m glad you like it.” Pulling out a chair, he gestures for you to sit.
As he takes the seat opposite you, you notice several covered dishes on the table. Charles sees you looking and smiles a bit sheepishly. “I, uh, called my mother earlier.”
You raise your eyebrows in surprise. Charles rubs the back of his neck. “I asked her what foods she craved when she was pregnant with me and my brother. So I ordered a bunch of that from room service, in hopes there might be something you’d like.”
A lump forms in your throat. You reach over and squeeze his hand. “Charles, that is so incredibly thoughtful.”
Pink tinges his tanned cheeks. “Of course. I want to take care of you.”
You chat comfortably over food and Charles’ excellent choice of wine for you — sparkling grape juice. He relaxes as you praise the chicken and melon he ordered.
When you sit back contentedly, Charles fixes you with a thoughtful look. “So, do you know how far along you are?”
You hesitate. “About three months now.”
He nods. “And have you been to a doctor yet?”
Your fingers find a groove in the wooden table to trace. “Not yet.” At his surprised look, you add defensively, “I’ve just been so busy with work. But I’m sure everything is fine.”
“Still, you should make an appointment soon. Just to be safe.” Charles’ tone is gentle.
You nod without meeting his eye. An uncomfortable beat passes.
“Do you ...” Charles pauses delicately. “Forgive me, but … do you know who the father is?”
Your cheeks flame. You stand abruptly, walking over to the balcony railing. After a moment Charles joins you, leaning on the rail at your side.
“I’m sorry, that was too personal,” he says quietly.
You shake your head. “It’s okay. I just ...” You glance up at him. “He’s no longer in my life.” You look away, a lump in your throat.
Charles doesn’t ask anything more, just moves closer in a gesture of silent support. You stand together breathing in the night air. The twinkling city sprawls before you. For a moment, the future doesn’t feel quite so frightening.
Eventually you stifle a yawn behind your hand. Charles glances over. “You must be exhausted. I should let you get to bed.”
You smile gratefully. He walks you to the door of the suite. Pausing, you stand on tiptoes and kiss Charles lightly on the cheek. “Thank you again for dinner. For everything.”
His eyes shine as he gazes down at you. “Of course. Sweet dreams, Y/N. And ...” He brushes a feather-light touch over your belly. “Sweet dreams to you too, little one.”
You feel your heart melt just a little. With a last smile, you head down the hall to the elevators. As the doors slide closed, you catch one last glimpse of Charles watching after you.
Back in your smaller, blander room, you change for bed in a happy haze. Sliding between cool sheets, you let out a contented sigh. Tonight was lovely. Charles’ thoughtfulness reminds you there are still good people in the world. For the first time in weeks, you feel a spark of hope.
You drift off to sleep with a hand resting gently on your belly. Everything seems less frightening now that you aren’t alone. Whatever happens next, you and your baby will get through it together.
***
The buzz of the media pen is giving you a headache today. Or maybe that’s just the pregnancy. You blink heavily, trying to focus on Carlos speaking into the microphone in front of you. You hit record on your phone as he answers the first question. It’s your job to capture every word to ensure he’s not misrepresented later.
The reporter’s voice fades in and out. You sway slightly, shaking your head. Just need some fresh air. You take a step away from the crowd, vision blurring at the edges. Dark spots dance across your eyes. The concrete floor rushes up to meet you-
“Y/N!”
Strong hands grab your shoulders, slowing your collapse. Your head spins as you try to make sense of it.
“Y/N, can you hear me?” Charles’ worried face swims into view above you. You part your lips but no words come out.
There’s loud commotion around you now. You feel yourself being shifted, lifted. Snatches of Charles’ voice pierce through the fog.
“She’s pregnant ... get help ... ambulance ...”
You try to cling to consciousness but it’s like grasping at smoke. The world goes dark.
When you resurface, it’s to antiseptic white walls and a steady beeping. Hospital. An IV pulls at your arm as you shift.
“Y/N?” Charles appears at your side, relief breaking across his face. “Thank God. You’re awake.”
Before you can respond, he’s disappeared again, calling for a doctor. You try to push yourself more upright but your limbs feel like lead.
A brisk older woman in a white coat enters, glancing at the monitor beside your bed. “Good to see you awake, Miss Y/L/N. You gave us quite a scare.”
“What happened?” Your voice comes out hoarse.
“You fainted from low blood pressure. A common issue in pregnancy, but yours seems to be more severe.” The doctor flips through your chart with a frown.
Charles stands anxiously at the foot of the bed. “But she’ll be alright now?”
The doctor hesitates. “I’m recommending complete pelvic rest and limited activity for the remainder of the pregnancy. Strictly no standing or walking for prolonged periods.” She pins you with a sharp look. “And if your blood pressure drops again, we’ll have no choice but to put you on full bed rest.”
Your stomach drops through the floor. “What? No, I can’t! I have to keep working, I-”
“Y/N.” Charles’ voice stops your panicked rambling. His face is lined with concern as he takes your hand. “Your health is what matters most.”
The doctor nods briskly. “Precisely. No job is worth risking your or your baby’s safety.” With a final warning look, she departs.
The moment she leaves, you burst into tears. Harsh, gasping sobs wrack your frame. This is a disaster. Without being able to stand or walk for long stretches, you’re useless to the team. You’ll be fired for sure. And then what will you do? You have no one, no other skills-
Warm, strong arms wrap around you as you weep. Charles cradles you against his chest, making low soothing sounds.
“Shh, it’s going to be alright,” he murmurs, stroking your hair. “We’ll figure this out.”
You clutch fistfuls of his shirt, burying your face in the soft cotton. The steady thump of his heartbeat slowly calms your hysteria.
When the tears finally subside, Charles eases you gently back against the pillows. His thumbs brush away the moisture from your cheeks.
“I know you’re scared,” he says quietly. “But I promise, I will do everything I can to help you. We are in this together now.”
His green eyes radiate such sincerity, you feel some of the panic and despair lift. You cling tightly to his hand, anchoring yourself to him like he’s a rock in a stormy sea.
***
You pick listlessly at the greyish meat and mushy vegetables on your hospital dinner tray. At least Charles had the foresight to sneak in some contraband snacks earlier — you polish off the last crumbs of the cookies he brought, wishing futilely for something more appetizing.
A knock at the door precedes Charles peeking in. “Hungry for something better than hospital food?” He holds up a paper takeout bag and shakes it enticingly.
You brighten immediately. “Charles, you’re my hero.”
He laughs and enters, pulling a table over your lap to serve as a makeshift dining surface. Soon plastic containers of pasta, salad, and fresh bread are opened, the savory scents making your mouth water.
Charles watches fondly as you tuck in. “I wasn’t sure what you’d feel up to eating. But who doesn’t like Italian food?”
You make a noise of emphatic agreement through your full mouth. Charles chuckles.
When you finally surface for air, he clears his throat. “So I was thinking ...” Charles busies himself folding and refolding your napkin. “My apartment in Monaco is pretty big for just me. And it has a guest room that’s just sitting empty.”
You raise your eyebrows, waiting for him to go on.
“Well ...” Charles rubs the back of his neck. “I thought maybe when you’re discharged, you could come stay with me for a while. So I can make sure you’re not overexerting yourself.”
You frown slightly. “Oh. That’s really kind, but I’ll be fine once I’m out of here.”
“Will you?” Charles levels you with a knowing look. “No offense, but you’re not exactly the best at asking for help when you need it.”
You open your mouth to protest, but can’t really argue with that.
“Let me do this for you. For my own peace of mind too,” Charles implores gently. He takes your hand, blue eyes full of sincerity. “Please?”
Looking into his earnest face, you feel your weak resistance faltering. Still ... “I don’t want to be a burden,” you mumble half-heartedly.
Charles squeezes your hand. “You could never be. I care about you, Y/N.” His thumb brushes over your knuckles. “I want to take care of you and the baby.”
The warmth in his voice melts away the last of your reluctance. And honestly, the prospect of having Charles doting on you is far preferable to being alone in your small, dreary apartment.
You meet his hopeful gaze. “Okay. If you’re sure you don’t mind, then … I accept your kind offer.”
Charles’ answering smile rivals the sun. “Yeah? Oh, that’s fantastic!” He sweeps you into an enthusiastic but gentle hug. You cling to him, feeling the nervous knot that’s been your constant companion for weeks finally start to loosen. Everything will work out.
That night as Charles is leaving, you call his name softly. He pauses, one hand on the door.
You twist your fingers in the blanket, suddenly shy. “I just wanted to say … thank you. For everything. I’ll find a way to repay you someday, I promise.”
Charles’ expression softens. He comes back and squeezes your hand. “You don’t owe me anything. Just focus on yourself and that little one.” He strokes a finger over your belly. “That’s all the repayment I need.”
With a last smile, he slips out, leaving you to fall asleep with a heart full of gratitude and growing affection for your kind rescuer.
***
You smooth your hands nervously over your dress as you approach Fred Vasseur’s office. This is it. Time to tell your boss that you’ll be leaving him in the lurch smack dab in the middle of the season.
Charles gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “It will be okay. Just explain the situation.”
You take a deep breath and nod. Charles opens the door and gestures for you to enter first.
Fred rises from behind his desk, surprise flickering across his face. “Y/N, Charles. What can I do for you?” His gaze darts between you curiously.
Your mouth goes dry. Charles gently guides you to sit in one of the chairs facing Fred, taking the other himself.
“Y/N has something she needs to discuss with you,” Charles begins calmly. “I’m here for moral support.”
Fred’s eyebrows raise but he nods for you to go on. Your hands twist together in your lap.
“Well, I ...” You have to pause and swallow hard. “I recently learned that I’m pregnant. And I’ve developed some, uh, complications that mean I can’t travel or be on my feet much.”
Fred’s eyebrows climb higher. “I … see. Congratulations?” He still looks perplexed.
Charles jumps in. “What she’s trying to say is, she needs to take a leave of absence. Doctor’s orders.”
“Ah.” Understanding settles on Fred’s face. He turns back to you. “I’m very sorry to hear you’re unwell. Of course health must come first.”
You feel yourself relax slightly. “So I can take a sabbatical? My job will still be here when I’m able to return?”
“Absolutely.” Fred nods. “You’ve been invaluable to our team. Your role will be waiting whenever you’re ready.”
You could cry with relief. “Oh, thank you! That means the world.”
Fred smiles kindly. “Think nothing of it. Focus on your health and that baby. We’ll manage in the meantime.”
Charles reaches over to clasp your hand supportively. “Is there anything else she needs to know before starting her leave?”
Fred considers this. “Y/N will have full pay during sabbatical, of course. And keep me posted on any support you require — medical, household, anything at all.”
You clutch Charles’ hand, too overwhelmed to speak. He smiles. “Very generous. We appreciate that greatly.”
After finalizing a few details, you both stand. Fred comes around the desk to shake your hand. “Best of luck with everything. Let me know if you need absolutely anything.”
You whisper a heartfelt thank you before allowing Charles to guide you out. Safely in the hallway, you turn and fling your arms around him.
“Charles, thank you,” you murmur into his shoulder. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
His strong arms come around you, cradling you close. “Of course, Y/N. I meant what I said — I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
You cling to each other for a long moment, his steadfast support washing away your lingering fears. As long as Charles is with you, you know everything will work out just fine.
***
You fidget in the generic mint-colored exam room, paper crinkling beneath you as you perch on the edge of the table. Charles sits in a nearby chair, scrolling through his phone, the picture of calm. You wish you shared his zen attitude.
A brisk knock precedes the door swinging open. A smiling older woman enters, glancing down at her chart.
“Y/N? I’m Dr. Boucher, nice to meet you.” Her smile widens as she looks between you and Charles. “And you must be the dad! Wonderful.”
Your mouth drops open to correct her, but Charles beats you to it. “That’s right, thank you,” he says easily, standing to shake the doctor’s hand.
You snap your mouth shut, eyes widening. But the doctor has already moved on, washing her hands at the sink.
“Now then, let’s take a look at this baby, shall we?” She pats the exam table.
You lie back, hiking up your shirt to expose your belly. The cool gel makes you shiver as the doctor smears it over your skin. She places the ultrasound wand low on your abdomen and moves it slowly.
The screen blooms to life, blurred black and white shifting until a shape emerges — a tiny profile, curled arms and legs distinct. You gasp softly. There’s your baby.
Dr. Boucher smiles. “There we are. Looks to be about 16 weeks along. Growing beautifully.”
You can’t tear your eyes away from the screen. Your throat feels tight. After so many weeks of secrecy and fear, this precious little life finally seems real.
“And there’s the heartbeat.” The doctor turns up the volume, and a rapid thumping fills the room. “Nice and strong.”
Tears spill over your cheeks before you can stop them. A glance over shows Charles watching the monitor intently, green eyes shiny with emotion. He reaches for your hand, gripping tightly.
When the appointment ends, you both exit the office in a daze. As you walk down the street to Charles’ car, he turns to you.
“That was … incredible,” he says softly. “Seeing your baby for the first time ...” He trails off, at a loss for words.
You lift his hand and press a kiss to the back, hoping he understands the depth of your gratitude. Charles smiles tenderly in return.
Safely home in Charles’ plush apartment, you curl up together on the sofa with mugs of tea to continue gazing at the ultrasound photos. Charles slips an arm around your shoulders, his thumb idly stroking your arm as you chatter excitedly about preparing a nursery.
This moment, here with Charles, your child’s heartbeat still echoing in your ears … it’s the closest thing to pure joy you’ve ever known. The future finally feels bright with hope. You lean into Charles’ warmth and send up a silent prayer of thanks for this man and the new life he’s given back to you.
***
You curl deeper into the plush couch in Charles’ apartment, cradling your mug of tea. Rain patters against the windows overlooking Monaco’s glittering harbor. The cozy scene makes you feel safe enough to finally open up.
“Charles?”
He glances over from where he’s poking at the fire. “Hmm?”
You twist your fingers together nervously. “There’s more I should tell you. About how I got pregnant.”
Charles rises and comes to sit beside you, face open and attentive. Taking a deep breath, you begin.
“It happened last winter, during the off-season. I went back home to Italy for a while, to the little town outside Milan where my family lives.”
You stare into your tea, remembering. “There was a man vacationing there, from Rome. Dario. We met in a cafe and just … clicked. He was handsome, charming, a perfect gentleman.” Your lips twist wryly. “Or so I thought.”
Charles remains quiet, letting you gather the words.
“We spent every day together for two weeks. Took long walks, went on romantic dinners. When it was time for him to leave, we ...” You trail off, face warming.
“You made love,” Charles supplies gently. You nod, still not meeting his eyes.
“I thought it meant as much to him as to me. But after he went back to Rome, his texts and calls slowly stopped. And then I found out why.”
Your voice drops to a pained whisper. “He was married. His ‘business trip’ was just a chance to fool around. When his wife saw my texts on his phone … it exploded. And then my family found out about the affair.”
Finally you lift your head. Charles’ face is lined with compassion. “They disowned me. Called me a fool and a harlot. It didn’t matter that I was lied to — as far as they’re concerned, I brought shame upon our family.”
Hot tears spill down your cheeks. Charles immediately pulls you into his arms. You cling to him, crying into his shoulder as he rubs your back.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “You did nothing wrong. This Dario took advantage of you, and your family should have supported you.”
Charles holds you until the storm of tears passes. When you finally pull back, he cups your face in both hands, brushing away the lingering moisture with his thumbs.
“Thank you for telling me,” he says softly. “I know that wasn’t easy. You’re so incredibly strong.”
Leaning forward, he places a tender kiss on your forehead. Then his palms slide down to cradle your rounded belly.
“I’ve got you now,” Charles murmurs. “Both of you. You’ll never be alone again.”
Nestled in his lap, you close your eyes and just breathe. The remnants of hurt and betrayal wash away, replaced by the safety of Charles’ embrace. Whatever comes next, you have found your sanctuary here, with him.
***
You wander through the apartment looking for Charles, one hand braced on your lower back. Your belly has popped noticeably in the last couple weeks, throwing your balance off.
Not finding Charles in any of the usual spots, you head down the hall towards the spare bedroom. When you push open the door, your jaw drops.
The room has been completely transformed. Bright sunshine spills through the windows onto whitewashed walls. A plush rug covers the hardwood floor. In one corner sits a fully assembled crib, stuffed animals piled inside.
Charles stands back to admire his work, shirtsleeves rolled up and hair adorably mussed. He turns when you gasp softly.
“Y/N! I wanted to surprise you.” His grin falters. “Do you like it?”
“Like it? Charles, I love it!” You blink back happy tears, wandering further inside. Charles’ face lights up.
“I wasn’t sure what color to paint, so I left the walls white for now,” he explains, coming over to slip an arm around you.
You lean into him, gazing around. “It’s perfect. Our baby is so lucky to have you.”
Pink tinges Charles’ cheeks. He kisses the top of your head. “I’m the lucky one.”
You decide on a pale green for the walls. Charles immediately fetches paint supplies, but hovers anxiously as you start rolling color onto the first wall.
“Are you sure you should be doing this?” He eyes your protruding stomach. “The fumes can’t be good ...”
You wave off his concern. “I’ll be fine! Here-” You dip a roller in paint and offer it out. “Make yourself useful instead of worrying.”
Charles accepts the roller reluctantly. Soon you’re both working side by side. Charles takes on the higher parts of the walls that you can’t comfortably reach anymore.
Humming under your breath, you step back to critique your work so far. As you do, your foot catches on the paint tray and you stumble. Charles reaches out to steady you, but not before a fat drop of paint lands on his cheek.
“Oops!” You clap a hand over your mouth, trying not to laugh at the green splotch on his tanned skin.
Charles narrows his eyes in mock indignation. “You think that’s funny, do you?” Before you can react, he flicks his loaded paintbrush at you, spattering your shirt.
You gasp in delighted outrage. “Oh, it is on!” Grabbing your roller, you swipe it down his arm.
Charles lets out a laugh of surprise. Soon paint is flying from both directions. You run around each other, giggling and slipping on the drops coating the floor.
Finally Charles catches you gently by the waist. You’re both absolutely covered in pale green, sides aching from laughter. Your faces are inches apart, smiles fading into something more tender.
Slowly, Charles leans in and presses his lips to yours in the softest, sweetest kiss. You melt against him, hands coming up to cradle his jaw.
When you finally part, Charles rests his forehead against yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he confesses, a little breathless.
You smile, heart soaring. “What took you so long?”
His answering grin outshines the sun. There, surrounded by dreams of the future, you share another lingering kiss.
***
You settle back against the mountain of pillows, trying to find a comfortable position for your unwieldy body. At nearly 8 months along now, your belly feels impossibly huge. Luckily Charles’ plush bed offers plenty of space to sprawl.
Speaking of Charles, he appears in the doorway holding a bottle. “Ready for your massage?”
You eye the bottle of oil eagerly. The stretch marks crisscrossing your stomach have been itchy and tight. “Yes please.”
Charles props up pillows behind you so you’re half-reclining. Then he drizzles some of the oil into his palms, warming it up before smoothing his hands over your bump.
You sigh in bliss at his gentle but firm touch. The fragrant oil soothes and softens your irritated skin. Under Charles’ ministrations, the discomfort slowly ebbs away.
His strong hands glide over every inch, easing out the aches and pains. As Charles works, he murmurs to your belly. “There you go, little one. We’re going to make your home nice and cozy.”
Your heart clenches at the tender scene. Even after all these months of living together, it still sometimes hits you how domestic this is. Sharing a home, sharing a bed … it’s everything you secretly longed for but never expected to have. A real family.
You trail your fingers through Charles’ soft waves. His eyes lift to meet yours, soft with affection. The look on his face steals your breath — pure adoration, like you’re the most precious thing in his world.
“I love you.” The words slip out unbidden. Charles’ hands still. For a heartbeat, you’re afraid you’ve said too much.
But then he surges up to capture your lips in a searing kiss. “I love you too,” Charles whispers fiercely when you finally break apart, both panting. “So much.”
He seals his words with another drugging kiss. Your hands clutch him close, heart near bursting with joy.
Suddenly Charles breaks the kiss with a gasp. His wide eyes dart down. “Did you feel that?”
You start to shake your head no, distracted by the sensation of his calloused hands massaging your belly, but then you feel it — a distinct thump against your insides. Your baby shifting and kicking.
Charles’ face lights up. “There it is again!” He laughs in wonder. “The little one is saying hello.”
Happy tears blur your vision. Charles presses a delighted kiss to your stomach. “I can’t wait to meet you,” he whispers tenderly.
Through your tears, you smile at the man you love. The one who gave you and your child a home when you had nothing. However you got here, this is exactly where you’re meant to be.
***
A dull ache starts low in your back as you crawl into bed. You shift and stretch, trying to get comfortable, but can’t seem to. Charles notices your restlessness.
“Alright?” He murmurs sleepily, rolling over to rub your back.
You nod. “Yeah, just some back pain today.” Probably from lugging around this massive belly.
Charles makes soothing noises and continues massaging you until he drifts off. You finally manage to doze too.
Sometime in the night, you jerk awake. The sheets under you are soaked. For one confused moment you think you wet the bed. But then it hits you.
Your water broke.
“Charles!” You shake his shoulder urgently.
He comes awake with a snort. “Huh? What’s wrong?”
“It’s time! The baby-” You break off with a hiss as the first real contraction clenches your belly.
That wakes Charles up fully. “The baby? It’s coming?” He practically falls out of bed, all long limbs flailing.
You have to stifle an inappropriate giggle at his panic. “Yes, so we should-” Your instructions die as Charles sprints from the room. Alright then.
You shake your head in amusement and heave yourself to your feet, one hand braced on your lower back. Waddling slowly after Charles, you find him hyperactively rushing around the living room, tossing items randomly into your hospital bag.
“Okay, let’s go!” He grabs the overflowing bag and dashes out the front door. You stare after him in disbelief then lower yourself carefully onto the couch to wait.
Not thirty seconds later, Charles comes barreling back inside. “Oh God, I forgot you!”
You have to laugh at the panic on his face. “It’s okay. Just breathe.”
Looking marginally calmer, he helps you up, frantically gathering your bag in one hand while keeping the other wrapped around you.
You lean your weight on him during the next contraction, breathing through it. “It’s okay. But we should really go now.”
Charles practically carries you down to the garage and bundles you into his Ferrari in record time. He drives well over the speed limit, one hand clutching yours the whole way.
At the hospital, Charles refuses to leave your side even for a second. He holds the gas and air for you to breathe during contractions, whispering how strong and amazing you are.
When the time comes to push, the pain is unimaginable. You nearly give up, sobbing that you can’t do this. But Charles is there, guiding you through it, telling you that you absolutely can. And with one final scream, your son enters the world.
The shrill cry is the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Charles cuts the cord with trembling hands. Then the nurse lays your wailing, squirmy son on your chest.
You press kisses to his downy head, tears of joy streaming down your face. Charles gazes at you both with pure reverence.
“His name is Matteo Charles,” you whisper. Charles lets out a choked sob at the middle name.
Too soon, the nurses take Matteo for cleaning and checks. One asks Charles if he’d like to hold him. Charles looks to you questioningly, and you nod through your exhaustion.
Charles settles into a chair, shirtless, and Matteo is laid on his bare chest. Charles strokes a gentle finger over Matteo’s cheek, seemingly enraptured.
“Thank you,” he rasps to you. “For our beautiful boy. Thank you, mon amour.”
This is everything you never knew you needed — a family, a home, and an overflowing love you once thought would forever be lost to you. But you’ve found it now, here in this room, together.
***
The sharp cries jolt you from sleep. With a groan, you roll out of the warm circle of Charles’ arms. Your body still aches and protests as you make your way to the nursery in the dark.
Picking up little Matteo, you carry him to the rocker and situate him at your breast. He latches on eagerly, cries fading to soft snuffles.
Charles appears in the doorway, hair adorably mussed. “Everything okay?” He asks through a yawn.
“We’re good now.” You smile tiredly down at your nursing son. His downy hair and scrunched features are all you — you find yourself thankful that there is barely any indication that his biological father even participated in making him.
Charles comes to perch on the ottoman, watching Matteo. “I can’t believe he’s really here,” he murmurs. “Our son.”
Pride swells in your chest. Charles has fully embraced his role as Matteo’s father, as naturally as breathing.
When Matteo finishes eating, Charles takes him to gently pat his back while you right your nightgown. He kisses your son’s head when Matteo lets out a tiny burp.
Back in bed, you curl into Charles with Matteo nestled safely between you. Charles has a race this weekend, his first since the birth. The thought of him leaving fills you with anxiety.
In the morning, Charles confirms your fears. “I’ll just tell Fred I’m not coming this weekend,” he says casually over breakfast. “The team will manage without me. One of the reserve drivers can take over for a few days.”
Your head jerks up. “What? No, Charles, you have to race.”
“But I don’t want to leave you two!” Charles gestures helplessly to where Matteo snoozes in a bouncer.
You catch Charles’ hand. “This is your dream. Matteo and I will be right here cheering you on when you get back.”
Charles wavers. You soften your voice. “It’s only for a little while. We’ll be okay.”
Finally he nods reluctantly. You know how hard this is for him — but Charles was born to race. You won’t let him give that up.
The morning Charles is set to fly out, he clings to you and Matteo like a second skin. You practically have to peel him off at airport security.
“I’ll be back so soon,” he whispers fiercely. One last kiss, and then he’s gone.
The apartment feels empty and too quiet. But you fill the time singing and playing with Matteo, keeping yourself busy until the race.
You and Matteo cuddle close on the couch to watch Charles zoom around the track. Your heart swells with love and pride seeing your man do what he was meant to.
When Charles wins, he shouts his ecstatic thanks to you and Matteo over the team radio. The podium champagne gets sprayed directly into the camera for you.
Finally Charles is home, sweeping you and Matteo into his arms. “I love you both so much,” he murmurs in wonder. You whisper it right back, nestled safe in the arms of your little family.
***
The energy in the Albert Park paddock is electric as teams prepare for the first race of the 2025 season. You feel a thrill just being back, Matteo cooing happily in your arms. At nearly six months old now, he’s ready for his first race.
Charles bounces on his toes, unable to contain his excitement. “Are you ready to see Papa race, Matteo?” He tickles Matteo’s belly, eliciting bubbly giggles.
You head first to the Ferrari garage, where the mechanics crowd around eagerly to fawn over Matteo. Lewis gives you a careful hug, peering curiously at the baby.
“Lewis, meet Matteo,” Charles says proudly. At Lewis’ questioning look, he adds “My son.” The way he says it brooks no argument.
Lewis’ eyes widen slightly but he just smiles. “Hi Matteo!” He offers a finger for Matteo to grip.
Fred comes over next, cooing over how much Matteo has grown. You enjoy the familial atmosphere, everyone fussing over your boy. Matteo basks in the attention.
Charles takes him down to the front of the garage to watch the crews work on the cars. He points out parts of the sleek machines, explaining them seriously to Matteo as if he understands. Matteo just gazes adoringly up at his Papa.
When Charles finally straps into the car for practice, you have ear muffs ready for Matteo’s sensitive ears. Charles blows kisses to you both before pulling on his helmet. Matteo squeals and waves his little fist as the car roars out.
In the hotel that night, you set Matteo on the bed while Charles showers. Stripped down to his diaper, your son kicks his chubby legs excitedly.
Charles emerges in comfy clothes, his hair still damp, and laughs at Matteo’s antics. “Alright, my little race car driver, time for bed.”
He tickles Matteo’s tummy as he puts on a fresh diaper and snaps up his pajamas. Then Charles cradles Matteo close, humming softly as he sways back and forth to soothe him. Your heart clenches at the tender scene.
Once Matteo is deeply asleep, Charles lays him gently in the travel crib. He turns to you with a soft smile. “I can’t imagine life without him now.”
You slip your arms around Charles from behind. “He loves his Papa so much already. Your biggest fan.”
Charles covers your hands with his, gazing at Matteo. “I’m going to win tomorrow for him.”
And he does. On the podium, Charles looks down to where you cradle Matteo in one arm, and gently showers you with champagne. Matteo’s delighted laughter is the sweetest sound.
This is everything you’ve ever wanted.
***
The energetic buzz of the Italian Grand Prix washes over you as you stroll hand-in-hand with Charles, your son cradled safely in his arms. At nearly a year old now, Matteo is fascinated by the vivid colors and cacophony of sounds surrounding him.
Charles playfully bounces Matteo as you weave through the crowded walkways, pointing out the sights and sounds. “Look Matteo, there’s the cars! Vroom vroom!” Charles mimics the roar of an engine. Matteo’s delighted giggle melts your heart. You can’t help but grin, chest swelling with love and pride for your little family.
You’ve just about reached the looming Ferrari motorhome when an absolutely venomous female voice shrieks out, “You!”
Every muscle in your body instantly tenses. You freeze mid-step, heart lurching into your throat. Whipping your head around, you see an immaculately dressed woman barreling directly towards you, her face mottled an ugly shade of rage-induced crimson.
“You disgusting harlot!” The woman spits with unrestrained fury. “You filthy whore!”
Stunned, you instinctively take a faltering step backwards, nearly stumbling. Charles’ strong arm immediately wraps protectively around you and Matteo, steadying you. His body angles partly in front of yours and Matteo’s smaller form, shielding you both on pure instinct.
The deranged woman continues her tirade, advancing until she’s nearly screaming in your face. “Oh, I know exactly who you are, you reprehensible little homewrecker!”
Before you can even begin to formulate a response, a ghost from your past suddenly materializes behind the enraged woman. A man you hoped to never lay eyes on again.
His eyes blow wide at the sight of you, Charles, and the infant cradled against Charles’ chest.
The woman — his wife, you realize with dawning horror — grabs viciously onto his arm, her razor-sharp nails digging in hard enough to leave crescent-shaped gouges. “Just look at her!” She shrieks, spit flying from her mouth. “Parading that little bastard child around like it’s something to be proud of!” She violently thrusts her finger towards Matteo, still safely ensconced in Charles’ embrace.
Your son, sensing the onslaught of hostile energy, immediately begins wailing in distress. You instinctively reach out to take him from Charles, desperate to comfort your frightened boy. But Charles subtly shifts his stance, moving further out of her reach, as he focuses intently on gently bouncing and shushing Matteo in an attempt to calm him.
Matteo’s biological father simply stares, slack-jawed, at the sobbing infant. The gears visibly turn in his head. “Is that ...” he chokes out, “Is he … mine?”
“No.” Charles’ immediate response is biting and unequivocal. He clutches Matteo tighter to his chest. “Matteo is my son.” Though his voice remains steady, you can see a muscle in his jaw ticking from the effort of holding back more heated words.
But Dario clearly does not accept this response. His eyes narrow calculatingly as he continues scrutinizing the wailing baby. Behind him, his unhinged wife keeps up her tirade of slurs and accusations, whipping the gathering crowd into greater frenzy.
You feel lightheaded, paralyzed. This is a living nightmare. Distantly you are aware of camera phones pointed your way, capturing every wretched moment. Charles seems to realize the same, his handsome face darkening with rage.
With frightening efficiency, Charles strides directly over to the nearest paddock security officers and has a brief, terse exchange. Moments later, two bulky guards firmly take hold of the still-screaming woman and shellshocked man, forcefully escorting them away. The crowd reluctantly disperses, murmuring.
Charles immediately returns to envelope you and Matteo in a fiercely protective embrace. “It’s alright now, you’re both safe,” he soothes, though his rapid heartbeat belies his calm words. Matteo’s panicked sobs have faded to tiny hiccups against Charles’ neck.
The rest of the chaotic day passes in a blur. Much later, in the privacy of your hotel room, Charles reveals that he pulled every string and called in every favor necessary to have Dario and his deranged wife permanently blacklisted from all Formula 1 events.
His voice shakes with quiet rage as he describes how close security came to needing to restrain him physically.
Finally he takes your face so very gently in his hands. “I promise you, I will do anything and everything to protect our family. You and Matteo are my entire world. Nothing will ever hurt you as long as I’m breathing.”
Overwhelmed with gratitude, you collapse against his solid chest. Charles’ strong arms anchor you in place as you cling to him. He continues murmuring fervent assurances, pressing kisses to your hair.
Despite the ugliness of the day, you know with utter certainty Charles will shield you and Matteo from the darkness of your past. Your family is still perfection in your eyes.
***
“Papa, I wanna be a race car driver like you when I grow up!”
Your five-year-old son looks up at Charles with big, adoring eyes as he makes this pronouncement over breakfast one morning.
Charles freezes with his coffee cup halfway to his mouth. He slowly sets it down, gazing at Matteo with surprise and pride. “You do?”
Matteo bobs his curly head eagerly. “Yeah! I wanna drive fast cars and win like you! Can you teach me?”
Charles melts, ruffling Matteo’s hair. “Of course, buddy. We’ll have to convince your maman first though.” He shoots you a meaningful look.
You shift uncertainly. Of course you want to encourage Matteo’s interests, but motorsport is dangerous ...
Charles seems to sense your hesitation. “Why don’t you think about it, mon amour? No need to decide yet.” He winks at Matteo, who grins in excitement.
Over the next few days, your two boys put on a full court press to sway you. Charles points out safety advances in karting and helps Matteo make adorable PowerPoint slides with photos of your son in race helmets. They both unleash heartbreaking puppy dog eyes.
Finally you cave. “Alright!” You laugh, holding up your hands in surrender. “You can start teaching him the basics.”
Matteo and Charles high-five so hard it makes a cracking sound. “Yesss!” Charles pumps his fists while Matteo dances in glee. Seeing their matching enthusiasm melts away the last of your reluctance. Your little daredevil was born for this.
The next weekend, Charles takes Matteo to a racetrack an hour outside the city. It’s just a small circuit, but Matteo gazes around with wide eyes, gripping Charles’ hand tightly.
Charles shows him the karts and safety gear, patiently explaining how everything works. Then it’s time. Charles helps strap Matteo into a kart made for kids, snugging his helmet gently under the chin.
“Ready, mon petit champion?”
Matteo gives him a thumbs up, practically vibrating with excitement. Charles grins and drops the visor down. “Alright! Let’s do this!”
He gives Matteo a little push to get the kart rolling onto the track. Your son quickly gets the hang of working the gas and brakes. Charles jogs alongside, gesturing and calling out instructions.
Gradually he lets Matteo take full control. Your little boy zips around the course, hair blowing out the back of his helmet. His delighted laughter echoes around the circuit.
Watching from the sidelines, Charles records it all on his phone, face alight with joy and pride. “That’s it Matteo, you’re doing amazing!” He cheers.
This is only the beginning. But seeing the utter bliss on both their faces, you know Matteo has chosen the right path. The Leclerc legacy will live on.
***
“I’m here in the pit lane with Charles Leclerc on the momentous day his son, Matteo Leclerc, makes his highly anticipated debut with Scuderia Ferrari. Charles, you must be incredibly proud right now.”
The Sky Sports reporter holds her mic out to Charles as he stands, beaming, in front of the scarlet Ferrari garage. Charles nods, looking slightly choked up.
“Incredibly proud doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he replies earnestly. “This has been Matteo’s dream since he was just a little boy. To see him achieve it, to be standing here watching him drive for the team I devoted my life to … it’s indescribable.”
Charles pauses, glancing over fondly at where you stand with Matteo, straightening your son’s helmet and race suit.
“His mother and I, we’ve worried and experienced every up and down along the way with him. But Matteo has worked so hard for this, never gave up even when it seemed impossible. He more than deserves today.”
The reporter smiles. “And his last name isn’t the only way he takes after you. Matteo is widely considered your protégé after you mentored him through the junior ranks.”
“I taught him everything I could,” Charles acknowledges. “But his talent and dedication are all his own. Matteo is his own man now. I can’t wait to see how high he continues to climb.”
“Any advice you’ve given him before his first race with Ferrari?”
Charles chuckles. “Just to enjoy every second. This only comes around once.” He looks off into the distance, eyes crinkling nostalgically.
“Still seems like yesterday I was in his shoes for my own Ferrari debut. I’ll never forget that feeling.”
The reporter wraps up the interview and Charles makes his way over to where you and 21-year-old Matteo are embracing. Charles’ eyes shine with unshed tears as he clasps arms with his son.
“I’m so proud of you,” Charles says hoarsely. “Your mother and I both. Now go show the world what you can do.”
Matteo’s answering smile is blinding. “I’ll make you proud, Papa.”
He hugs you tight, then pulls on his helmet and strides confidently to his waiting Ferrari. The mechanics cheer as the car roars to life and Matteo peels out onto the track, on the cusp of achieving his lifelong dream.
You cling to Charles’ side, waving tearfully. “Our little boy,” you whisper in awe.
Charles wraps an arm around you, never taking his eyes off the bright red car. “He’s all grown up. But he’ll always be our son.”
No matter how high Matteo climbs, Charles knows he will always remain his sweet little boy — the bright-eyed child you and Charles raised with love.
His greatest source of pride and joy as the future beckons brightly, another generation of Leclercs carrying the hopes of Ferrari forward.
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