#i can barely get the energy or motivation to follow through on things i *want* to do

[quilleth]

the extreme level of 0 fucks to give i feel about work lately is kind of problematic. but also...i give 0 fucks about it. just absolutely 0 motivation beyond the most bare minimum i can get away with doing and that's not even really motivation. that's just "i need to not be a complete bump on a log or i will get fired and we literally cannot afford to live if i do not have a job and also i would lose my admittedly very good healthcare that is covering therapy and medications and testing for my adhd, insomnia, and chronic fatigue." but like i don't care about it. i'm back in the office full time (i work remote during breaks) and i'm dreading it

[heesimp]

tasty (heeseung)

summary: it’s not your week and it doesn’t seem like the semester will ease up on you as time flies by, but your best friend is here to help in more ways than one.

word count: 5.6K

notes: based off of this request. thank you anon! I probably won’t open a taglist at this time but I’ll let you know if I do when I post other fics. XX

warnings: reader touches herself, porn mentions, vibrator mention, phone sex, oral (f. receiving), dirty talking, mentions of heeseung with other girls, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex.

“You sure you don’t want to go out with us?” 

Your co-workers stare at you while you try to push down any simmer irritation. They’re not to blame, but pestering you to go out to a bar and get drunk when all you want to do is go home, is making you even more irritated. They mean no harm and look at you with sorry eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you tell them. Luckily for you, they nod and accept your decline. “Thanks for the invite though.”

“Well if you change your mind, you know where to find us.” 

In typical twenty-something-year-old fashion, certain days feel longer than most. Today is no exception. It’s hard to navigate the woes of landing on your feet when you’re wrapped up in midterm projects and trying to have a social life without throwing yourself off balance. When the semester started, you were nothing other than a happy-go-lucky, fourth-year university student who was excited to finish college and take the first step towards “real life.” Unfortunately for you, your days would get tough before you’d see it to the finish line. 

The ride back to your apartment isn’t long by any means but the traffic from your job at a convenience store was met with rush hour. The bus took much longer than usual but you always anticipate that when you’re scheduled until 5pm. Everybody’s going home at the same time and even public transportation falls victim to the hustle and bustle of corporate life. 

On your way home, you can’t help but linger on the inconveniences of the recent past. Midterms have snuck up on you like they do every year and no amount of studying into the night could ever prepare you for the stress that comes with obsessing over good grades for five separate classes. It kills you that no two tests weigh the same and preparing for projects feels like you’re signing a death sentence. You’ve barely seen your friends aside from in passing and haven’t had any time to take care of yourself and have fun. 

It feels as though you’ve lost all motivation because school and work has sucked the energy right out of you. Even your best friend, Lee Heeseung, has started to soften up around you because he can tell how stressed you are. If anything, the amount of unread texts from him and your absence in his physical life is a telltale sign that school is kicking your ass, but he knows you always bounce back. You know you will too, but right now it feels like it’ll take too long to get there. 

The first thing you do is take all of your clothes off and settle them in the dirty hamper and take a shower, cleaning off the grime from a long day outside of your bedroom. Your hair is clean and your skin feels silk to the touch when you step out and dry yourself. It takes a great deal of effort to follow through on your skincare routine and tidy up your room so that it doesn’t feel like an overwhelming mess the more you look at it. Today sucked. There’s no doubt about that. 

Eventually, the clock turns into a late hour after you’ve had dinner and a sweet treat to make up for the awfully long and boring day you had. The week drains on you and you’re looking forward to the weekend because that means you don’t have to work. After settling in bed with the television on, you try your best to let your worries escape you and focus on what’s in front of you. 

Whether the show is too boring or you’re too worked up, you don’t know. The TV is long forgotten as you aimlessly scroll through your phone and start pushing your thighs together and clench around absolutely nothing when you log into a Twitter account you don’t post on. It must be out of habit to act like this when you see the familiar username because it’s where you keep your porn stash for when you need to get off. There’s everything you could ever want–short videos, photos, and links to other websites that always gets you off. The long day has made you think about how you need at least a single win in order for this week to not completely suck. Bringing yourself to orgasm might be the way to do it. 

You spread your legs underneath the covers and take a finger to tease up your slit that’s covered by your panties and hold your phone in your free hand, using your thumb to scroll past the plethora of videos that turn you on. It’s all about finding the right one, and seeing big dicks and wet pussies makes you worked up. You start to forget about the week and consider that a good start. 

Moving your finger against your covered pussy always makes you wet. You imagine it’s someone else teasing you the way you like it and pretend you don’t need to move a muscle to get off. Swiping the tips of your fingers back and forth makes you soak through the pathetic fabric anyway, and the excitement of your arousal makes you gush right onto your panties. 

You scroll through them one by one and pull your panties to the side to feel just how wet you’ve become and moan quietly as the feeling of your slicked up walls. Pushing a finger inside, the welcomed sensation is exactly what you needed after a hard week. You add two, then three, and pump them in and out of you with your legs bent towards your chest. It should be an easy orgasm. 

Except, it isn’t. Three of your own fingers isn’t enough.

At this rate, you don’t know how long you’ve been rutting your hips but what you do know is that you can’t seem to get yourself off with just your fingers. Pulling them out makes you wince at the loss and you force yourself off of your bed to find your trusty vibrator that has always served you when you need to get off quickly. You dig for it in the depths of your drawers but, to your dismay, the device is uncharged. You’re far too worked up to wait for it to become usable. You crawl into your bed again and angrily look through your phone at the porn in your bookmarks and try to get yourself back to that state of euphoria when you started touching yourself, but knowing too much is bothering you is preventing you from letting go. 

Your room echoes as you groan in frustration when your eyes land on a photo on your desk. It’s a picture of you and Heeseung that Jay took when the three of you hung out together after you first moved into this apartment. The two of them helped move boxes and furniture, and you rewarded them with a free meal from the noodle shop across the street. Heeseung sits next to you with his thighs pressed against yours because of the small table but neither of you really cared. 

That’s the thing, though. Heeseung isn’t shy about physical touch with you or anyone else. He’s the kind of guy girls feel comfortable around with just a few words spoken and you’ve always envied the way Heeseung can talk his way through anything. People love him, girls want to fuck him, and guys want to be like him. There’s a part of you that wishes you could exude the same aura that your best friend does but, unlike him, you cower at any chance of interaction and can’t seem to get anyone to be interested in you the way you’re interested in them. Heeseung has heard your fair share of love debacles whereas it seems like romance is presented to him with the snap of a finger. 

It isn’t that you haven’t had experiences with sex and dating, but they haven’t been worthwhile. So far, nobody has been memorable enough to keep in your backpocket for days like this, when you need a hot and erotic memory to come in an instant. It feels impossible to find guys who know what they’re doing when a woman is presented in front of them. Guys are so lucky because it takes next to nothing to get them hard and get them off. 

And like, your best friend has had his fair share of hookup stories that leave you wetter than a goddamn fountain. He’s not shy about skimping the details because he’s seen you cry snot since kindergarten and you’ve seen him eat shit on bicycles since elementary school. Sex isn’t off the table. You just don’t have anything to contribute and he doesn’t judge you for it. You aren’t really keen on telling him about all of the bad experiences you’ve had when he talks about how mind blowing sex for him is. Part of you is envious that your best friend has never had one bad day of sex in his life. Allegedly. 

Still, this frustration bubbles up and there’s nothing you can do to quell the way you feel. Perhaps it’s a mix of general life stress and the events leading up to this very moment. The entire day felt like a test to your patience as minor inconveniences piled up on top of one another before your breaking point. You thought your vibrator sitting uncharged was your last straw but it seems like your mind isn’t clear enough to focus on getting off. You recall a few unread text messages from Heeseung and open your shared text thread with him and watch all of the funny TikTok videos and tweets he sends you. You’re missing him right now. 

Heeseung answers after one ring. 

“Back from the dead, I see. What’s up?” 

You huff. “Nothing.” You hear him laughing from the other line. The faint sound of his keyboard clicking echoes in your ears. 

“Can’t be nothing. You always call me when you need to tell me something.” 

“Not true.”

“Y/N, you and I both know you prefer to talk on the phone when you have something important you need to say so neither of us ends up sending long voice memos.” Okay, he’s got you there. “So begs the question: What’s up?”

“Well I called you because I’m bored. Happy?”

Heeseung laughs again. You’re sure he can hear your disdain. “It’s a good thing I know how to deal with your attitude, huh? Since you’re bored, I’ll have you know you’re calling me while I’m playing with the guys.”

“What, no girl to hook up with?” 

“Not tonight, princess.” 

“How sad.” 

“If you must know why, I had a pretty long day at work but I’m fine now. Jake’s ass keeps dying so that’s pretty funny.” You don’t say anything, not right away. Not when you realize you called him in a haste and that you’re naked except for a tank stop and dainty white socks. The realization makes your cheeks heat up as you think about it, even though Heeseung can’t see what you’re wearing. “You good? You’re unusually quiet, especially when you give me attitude.” That makes you roll your eyes.

“You know, it’s unfair that all you have to do to get off is brush your hand against your dick.”

“Where’s this coming from? You don’t really talk about sex. Is everything alright?”

“It’s unfair!” He hears you groan in frustration. You’re somewhat annoyed he’s still typing away on his gaming keyboard.

“Y/N���Are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

That question alone seems to ease your mind a little as your irritation bubbles over the surface. You couldn’t stop yourself from talking even if you tried. You tell Heeseung everything, good and bad, and he won’t relent until he knows you’re okay. But even this is treading into new territory. It isn’t that you haven’t noticed just how attractive your best friend has gotten since you met him for the first time as kids, but it’s the first time you’ve ever acknowledged it while talking to him. 

“I can’t get myself off.”

Your voice is barely above a whisper. You don’t hear the sound of his keyboard anymore.

“What?”

“Heeseung…”

“No, say it again.” 

Suddenly, you’re starting to regret calling him to complain about something like this. You feel like you might as well be diving into the depths of your secrets.

“I can’t get myself off.” He hears you whisper it into the phone. 

“Did I hear you correct? You can’t get yourself off?” Heeseung curses under his breath and his hands have stopped typing on his keyboard completely. Frustration pushes tears to the rim of your eyes. 

“I can’t.” Your voice wavers like you’re about to choke a sob. “I just want to cum, Heeseung.”

You don’t see it, but he disconnects his video game connection without consulting his friends. He sits back in his seat and brings the phone off speaker mode and pushes it to his ear. “Y/N…Have you been touching yourself?”

“Yes. I don’t know why but I’m in this mental block and I can’t focus on anything. Nothing is helping.” 

He chokes. “What do you mean?”

“My vibrator is dead and I’ve been using three fingers but it’s not helping!” 

Heeseung sits quietly on the other line. “Are you touching yourself now?” 

“No,” you sigh. “I’ve been at it for an hour and I can’t finish.�� 

“Fuck,” he mutters. “You must be so wet.” 

“Not anymore.” You say it through your teeth, too upset that your high has ebbed away.

“You should start touching yourself again.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Touch yourself and make your pussy all wet.” It’s concerning how much you like hearing your best friend talk to you like this. But you do, putting your phone on speaker and putting it on the mattress beneath you with your hand caressing your pussy. You don’t know if it’s you, Heeseung, or the notion that you’re crossing a bridge, but your spine starts to tingle. Your touch is as light as a feather.

“Are you doing it?” 

“Yeah,” you admit. 

“How does it feel?” 

“Really good…”

“How good?” 

“Feels like someone else is touching me,” you tell Heeseung. “If I close my eyes, I can pretend it’s someone else.”

“It’s not enough, is it?” 

“No, Hee. I just…I’m so frustrated.” 

“Yeah, baby?” He’ll address that nickname later. “Why are you frustrated?” 

“School and work are stressing me out and nobody in my group projects lifts a finger. I feel so alone in this.”

“But you aren’t alone. You have me, remember?” You get wetter the more he talks. It feels wrong to be turned on by Heeseung’s voice but you can't help it. He’s talking to you like he hears the way your voice quivers and how badly you need somebody to take away all of your pain, and perhaps you feel comforted because you know Heesueng will do just that and always had. Your fingers rub your wetness around your bare mound the more you think about it, pushing aside any guilt or awkwardness you initially felt.

“When have I ever not been there for you? Never, baby. Including this.” 

“This?” 

He chuckles. “Yeah. Helping you cum.” 

“Hee, don’t say that.” 

“Why? It’s true. Best friends help each other cum.” 

“How are you gonna help me do that?” 

It’s silent on the other line for a long pause and your heart starts to sink when you think you might’ve crossed a line. Is he uncomfortable? Does he want to hang up and forget about this? Will he ever look at you the same way after tonight? 

“Keep touching yourself. I’m coming over.” 

Your eyes widen. “N-Now?” 

“Yes, now. I live five minutes from you. I’ll be over soon.” 

The thought of Heeseung coming over makes you impossibly wet. It’s been so long since you’ve let anybody touch you the way you’d like after failed hook ups that left you unsatisfied. Your bedroom suddenly feels warmer and your arousal keeps your fingers slick the more you rub against your pussy. It makes your toes clench and you’re starting to get excited again. 

“Please hurry, Hee. My fingers are starting to get sore.” 

“I’ll be there in two. Don’t hang up.”

“F-Fuck,” you whimper silently. Heeseung’s phone picks up your moan and you hear him let out a low groan when he turns his engine on. 

“You have the sexiest moans. I wanna hear them while you get yourself off, okay? Can you do that for me?” 

You rub your pussy faster. “Yes, Hee. Fuck, I’m so wet. This feels so good.”

“Be a good baby and play with your clit a little for me, hm? Get her all nice and prepped.” 

You do as he says, moving the pads of your fingers in circular motions around your engorged nub when he tells you. Your eyes close shut when that jolt of pleasure makes your body jerk and arch off of the bed and that loud sound emitting from the back of your throat makes Heeseung hum in approval. 

“Juuust like that. Fuck, you sounds even better than I imagined. You’re a vocal one, huh?” 

“Only when it feels really good.”

“Yeah? Do you feel really good?” 

You lick your lips. “It would feel better if you were here.” Heeseung laughs. 

“I’m here and I’ve got your spare key. Keep fucking yourself for me.” 

The call ends there. You hear the door opening and part of you considers using your blanket to cover yourself up because in all of the years you’ve been friends with Heeseung, he has never seen you this indecent. It feels a bit humiliating to know your best friend will find you with your fingers rubbing against yourself while your hips chase that delicious pleasure but ultimately, you can’t find it in yourself to care too deeply about that. 

Heeseung’s footsteps alert you to his presence and you’re pleasantly surprised to see him standing in the threshold of your bedroom after he’s opened your doorknob. His black hair covers his eyes as he catches his breath, and it looks like he ran up the two floors just to get to your apartment quicker than an elevator could take him. He’s hesitant when he walks inside until his eyes lock with yours. Your next moan comes from deep within your chest and Heeseung wastes absolutely no time. 

He lands on his knees and pulls your body towards the edge of the bed. Your scent invades his olfactory senses as he looks down below you, pushing your feeble hand away to admire the mess you’ve made of yourself. It should feel embarrassing to have your best friend look at you like this, but it doesn’t. Your heart beats faster the more Heeseung’s eyes scan your wet pussy and before you know it, his mouth latches onto you. 

The feeling of someone’s tongue shoved deep within you is a feeling you haven’t experienced in a long time. Heeseung kneads your thighs with his hands as he keeps you in place and the pace he sets makes your body feel like it might as well be up in space. 

You hear stories all the time about Heeseung hooking up with other girls whether it be from himself or others. Girls love to pretend to be your friend to get close to him and love to talk about these kinds of things with you because they assume you’re getting in on the action too, only to leave the conversation perplexed when you tell them you and Heeseung have never gotten involved like that. But now, with every bit of information about how he slurps pussy like he needs it to live, you’re starting to wonder why you never asked him to do this before tonight. 

“Tasty,” he mutters after a beat of silence. Your hand comes to grip his hair for stability when he pulls your clit into his mouth and sucks on it while rubbing his tongue against your pleasure point. “How come you never told me you taste so good?”

“You never asked.” 

He laughs against your pussy. “Still got some attitude, huh?” 

“What are you gonna do about it?” He looks up at you like he’s weighing a challenge. 

“If you were any other girl, I’d pull out every time you’re about to cum. I’d have you begging for that shit. If you were somebody else, I’d stuff your mouth with my cock until you learn how to obey.” He licks up your pussy once more before adding two of his fingers inside, moaning at your smooth and wet walls as he pumps them inside of you. “But you’re my best friend and you’ve had a hard week. I’m gonna make you cum.” 

If a thousand suns exploding feels like Heeseung’s tongue and fingers working in tandem with each other, then this is a feeling you never want to forget. They work separately but it feels like he’s pushing you closer and closer to the finish line the more he pays attention to your clit and g-spot at the same time, pressing on that little button the more you whine and aimlessly beg for him to let you cum. You can barely register your own voice moaning because the pressure is too much against your ears. Heeseung’s fingers plunge in and out of you at a pace that is somewhere between gentle and brutal, giving you enough force to take your mind off of the stress from the week to focus on your pussy being pleasured. 

You screw your eyes shut when you can feel that coil unraveling. Heeseung seems to notice that too because of the string of moans you let out when he pushes his fingers against your sweet spot. His mouth licks and licks as his hand pushes your wetness right against his tongue and it doesn’t take very long for him to taste your cum. 

Heeseung’s head disappears between your legs and he’s barely able to move his hand because of how tight your thighs are against his ears. He’s always loved your thighs and legs, and loves them even more now that he knows what it feels like when you suffocate him as he licks up your delicious cum. You ease up on him when he pries them away to free his hand from the uncomfortable position and uses both hands to keep your legs apart as he licks up the remnants of your cum and helps you ride out your orgasm until your chest falls against the mattress. 

He wipes the back of his hands before giving your slit a gentle kiss. “You’re so sexy when you cum.”

“I can’t believe I let you do that.” 

“Why?” 

You watch him crawl up your body between your spread legs. “Because…” 

“Because?” 

“You’re my best friend and we’ve seen each other through everything. Don’t you think this is a little, I don’t know, weird?” 

“No.” Heeseung shakes his head and dips below to kiss the corner of your mouth. “Not weird. In fact, I’d argue we should do this more often.”

You frown. “I don’t intend to be somebody you keep on a roster, Lee. You can keep that shit to yourself, but thank you for helping me cum.” Heeseung laughs against your mouth until you feel his lips ghost right over yours. 

“There won’t be other girls involved if we fuck, Y/N. I’m not heartless like that. Everybody else knows I’m in it for sex and nothing else, but it’s like you said. You’re my best friend. I won’t make you feel like you’re just somebody I can hit up.” 

“So this would be like…friends with benefits?” 

“We can work out the semantics later.” He lets his lips touch yours and when you don’t object, Heeseung opens your mouth with his own and you taste the saltiness of your cum on his lips. You clench around nothing when you hear your mouths smacking together in the quiet of your bedroom. 

It feels…good. It doesn’t feel out of place, even though this is the first time you’ve kissed Heeseung. You haven’t thought about it much either, but somehow his lips fit perfectly in yours and his soft hands holding your body in his adds to your arousal. You feel safe with him at this moment and it’s the first time you’ve ever had sex with somebody who hasn’t made you feel like an afterthought. Your mind feels a bit foggy but you know you like this feeling and don’t want him to stop. Still, you have your worries.

“This won’t be weird, will it?” 

“No, baby. In fact, all you had to do was ask me to drop the other girls and I would’ve.” You roll your eyes. 

“Sounds like you’re in love with me, or something.” 

Heeseung pulls away and smiles down at you. “Yeah. Or something.” You ignore the way your heart flutters and realize his bulge is poking your bare pussy. 

“You’re hard.” 

“So you’ve noticed.” 

You pinch his bicep. “You get hard eating pussy?” 

“Well yeah because it’s pussy, but it’s also you.” You start to talk but Heeseung silences you with a kiss. “Are you satisfied now that I’ve made you cum?” 

His vulgar words make you shy underneath his gaze all of a sudden. It’s a new feeling and you’re not quite sure how to navigate it, especially with the way he’s staring down at you with a raised eyebrow. Heeseung is still your best friend who gives you shit for everything. You suppose you’re grateful that he’s not changing who he is just because he knows what you look like naked. 

“You know what? Actually, I don’t think I’m satisfied.” 

Heeseung grins wickedly and pulls his body off of your chest to take his shirt off, his chiseled muscles on display for you to look at. He grabs your hand and places it on his abdomen. “Oh yeah? What else can I do for you, princess?”

You take your fingernails on his skin and feel his abs move beneath you. “I think I need you inside me too.”

“Were my mouth and fingers not enough?” You shake your head. Heeseung tuts as he gets off of the bed to step out of his pants and boxers, revealing a long and thick cock you’ve only ever heard about. It’s dripping with precum and you can’t stop your pussy from clenching or your mouth from drooling. 

You watch him get back on the bed one knee at a time before he’s hovering over you again, pulling your body to the position he wants as your legs spread before him. He looks down at his cock and tugs on it twice before letting his tip rest against your clit. 

“Need some of my cock?” 

“Yes, yes!”

“Who knew my best friend has such a tight pussy. Makes me wonder why I even bothered with other girls in the first place.” You seem to like hearing that. He brings his fingers to push the head of his cock inside of you before sinking halfway in, allowing you to adjust to his size as you squeeze him. “Oh yeah, honey. This pussy’s gonna make me cum hard, I already know that.” 

Heeseung holds your legs open and pushes his hips into you slowly. The drag feels so good with how warm he’s made you and you can feel him throbbing with every pass. You hold onto your breasts for stability, which seems to turn him on even more because he’s pushing your legs towards your chest and pushing into you with all of his might. 

You’re able to see him from where you lie. His eyebrows concentrate as he squeezes his eyes shut and sweat lines his forehead the more he thrusts inside of you. He sits up on his knees to angle his dick inside of you better and moans when you let out a strangled groan. The clench is so tight and amazing, and Heeseung can’t fathom why he’s never fucked you before tonight. 

“Sexy pussy,” he grunts, looking down at your abused hole as he thrusts into it. He brings his thumb to your clit and you yelp when he starts to rub it. “So wet and fuckable.” 

“Fuck me,” you manage to choke. 

And truthfully, you like Heeseung plowing into you at the pace he’s set. He’s not too fast but not too slow and you can feel him hit your cervix every single time. It’s no wonder girls were always lining up to have sex with him. Heeseung knows what he’s doing with his dick and you’re finding that out now. 

“You want me to fuck you?”

You nod pathetically. “Please fuck me.”

“How hard?” You bite your lip and shake your head at the humiliation of begging for him but Heeseung tuts and smacks your clit with his hand. “I said, how hard?”

“So hard that I feel you in my stomach!”

“Atta girl. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Heeseung slips out of you and pulls you up on your hands and knees, beckoning your back in a deep arch. He plants both of his feet on the mattress and bends until he’s sinking his cock back down inside of your pussy, letting your mixed wetness coat him again. 

He thrusts himself as his mouth hangs open. Heeseung grips your waist with both hands and squeezes you hard to balance himself as he throws his head back at the phenomenal sensation of your walls pulling him in every time he tries to pull out. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel his balls against you and clutch into your bedsheets.

“Your balls are slapping against my pussy and it feels really good,” you manage to get out without stuttering. Heeseung feels you clench around him again and emphasizes his thrusts until the sound of his balls makes your ears vibrate. 

“Feels good when it hits your clit, doesn’t it?”

“So good, fuck!” 

Heeseung speeds his thrusts and relishes in your string of moans the more his tip nudges your g-spot. “Can you cum, baby? Cum around my cock like I know you want to. You’ve earned it after this week. Cum for me. Won’t you let me feel that?”

“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming, Hee! I’m fucking cumming!”

“Yeahhh. Oh your cum is so good. Doing so well, making your pussy creamy all over me like that. Cum for me.”

And it feels so good that you follow his command. The orgasm Heeseung’s cock brings you feels like a physical manifestation of letting go of your worries and enjoying the present moment. Despite your legs and pussy aching, this feels an awful lot like freedom because your own mind isn’t caged by the inability to get yourself off. 

You don’t think, you can’t think. You’ve reached a point of nirvana that’s made your mind completely blank with the exception of your orgasm and the feeling of your best friend fucking right inside of you. His cock, so hard and warm, somehow feels so perfect lodged inside of you. 

Heeseung cock twitches and you feel it the more he pounds into you. He looks down and moans at the sight of his cock becoming white with your cum with every pointed thrust and doesn’t remember the last time he truly enjoyed himself to the point of being able to forget about everything except the person he’s with. Sex with other girls is incredible but there comes a point where he realizes that they’re using him just as much as he’s using them. But you, his best friend since he can remember, give him some kind of peace that he’s never felt before. This is more than just a quick fuck, even if neither of you address it.

“Your pussy’s gonna make me cum,” he moans through a choked grunt. “You feel so good baby, fuck.” 

Heeseung pulls out of your hole just enough to rest his tip against you. His warm cum floods against your folds and your body jerks at the way he twitches against you, but his hands keep hold of your hips to place you exactly where he wants you. He looks down to watch his cum spill from his slit and paint your pussy like the artwork that it is.

When he’s finished cumming, Heeseung leans back against his knees to spread you apart by gripping your asscheeks. “Would you look at that?” 

“Stop looking…”

He chuckles. “Why, baby? Your pussy’s so pretty with my cum on it.” 

You look back at him. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” He nods at you before pulling away to scour your room until he finds a box of tissues on your nightstand and grabs a few to clean you up to the best of his ability before cleaning himself up too. 

Overcome with a wave of tiredness, your body feels much more relaxed once you’ve slipped underneath the covers as Heeseung throws away the dirty tissues. He turns around when he hears the blankets ruffling and resists the urge to coo at you when you’ve tucked it underneath your chin. 

“Looks like you needed one good fuck to relax, hm?”

You blush. “Shut up.”

“No can do, Y/N.”

“I…”

Heeseung leans down towards you and tilts his head. “You what?”

You avert his gaze. “I liked it when you called me baby.” 

“Yeah?” He pushes some of your hair back as you yawn. “I can do that.” 

“Are you gonna go home?”

“Not if you let me stay the night.” You don't have it in you to talk back to him after all he’s done for you. Instead, you open the covers as Heeseung puts his boxers back on and watch him smile before climbing in next to you. “Come here.” He tucks your body on his chest and you’re too tired to argue with him. 

His heartbeat puts you to sleep.

tagging: @zara2318 @markmato @heechwe @horijiro @ggumjilgeong-yjn @porunarefuu @leov3rse. :)

[adventuringblind]

The Wolf, The Bunny, and the Muppet

Carlando X Reader

Genre: Smut

Summary: Carlos makes plans, Lando doesn't follow them, and punishment ensues. She's just trying to look cute, is that really so hard?

Warnings: Mildly dark Carlos, Denial, Overstimulation, Bondage, Degradation, Praise, PinV, Marking, Heavy subspace, Lando being a pain, BDSM, unprotected sex (not condoned), crying, anal with mild prep,

Notes: So... this is a thing. I fell in love with this towards the end. Dark Carlos is my new favorite thing. Hope the requester appreciates my effort because this was A LOT. Jk, kinda, but I do hope you like it!!

Side note: feeding my praise kink fuels my motivation to write. I am lacking that currently.

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

It's not often Carlos makes a pre-planned effort to put a scene together. He's calculated, sure, but he can also go with whatever the situation calls for.

This weekend is different. He has something he wants to try and has made his partners aware of the plan. It's not often he gets to delve into non-sexual domination. The kind that builds up into something more.

He'd been very clear about the rules after getting them off on Thursday. Hopefully enough to satisfy them (Lando) until Sunday night where he would tear them apart and put them back together.

Lando has always been the trickier of the two. She does whatever Carlos says. Lando can but chooses not to.

Needless to say, that if Lando breaks any of the rule's things will become significantly more difficult for everyone involved. Mostly for himself, but Carlos also doesn't really want to put that much effort into doing something different.

Friday is easy. Lando isn't pent up, both are dressed in outfits he'd picked out, and haven't complained about it. Not that he's expecting it. He's not going to put them in something they aren't comfortable with.

Friday practice goes well. Enough for Carlos to have the energy to tease the pair. He leaves them wanting more, for obvious reasons. There is something so satisfying about having to people who love and trust you, begging for anything you give them. Carlos loves this feeling; addicted to it like a drug.

The climate they are racing in is warm enough that Carlos can comfortably have the female wear a dress that barely brushes the tops of her thighs. It's skimpy, and he loves it. He loves the attention she's getting and how people are gawking at her. There is a primal satisfaction deep down because he knows full well she's his.

On the other hand, he had to wrestle Lando's hoodie away from him. The risk of overheating left Carlos is a predicament. The result being a grumpy Brit who wants to die of a heat stroke but complied regardless.

He manages through qualifying fine. Knowing he's going to find his girl in the garage waiting for him. Carlos gets through media with a PR approved smile. Still eyeing Lando and the fact that he is back in his sweatshirt.

Carlos edges him for hours when they get back to the hotel. His precious girl sits right at his feet, waiting patiently for direction. Eyes glazed over at simply being made to watch and wait.

Lando is sweating horrifically. Carlos left him in the sweatshirt, making him regret his earlier misdemeanors. The Brit is slobbering on the sheets, begging for some reprieve. Carlos helps him take a cold shower when he thinks Lando has learned his lesson.

He makes the podium on Sunday. He's elated, walking on cloud nine. Satisfied with his adrenaline-fueled kisses to his lovers in a back corner before he heads to do media.

It's back in the garage when Charles starts laughing at an Instagram post. It draws Carlos' attention. He looks over to see what's on the screen, only to clench his jaw in utter disbelief.

Lando, is openly flirting with Oscar. His smug look says he knows exactly what he's doing. Of everyone, it had to be Oscar. It could've been Max for all he cared. Oscar just grates on his nerves with the way he looks at Lando.

He ends up having to stay later than expected. Lando had said he was heading back to the hotel to order dinner for them since he was done. Maybe try to make amends for his earlier stunt.

Carlos takes his girl with him. He watches her shudder as he praises her for being all weekend. Not like he expected anything different. Carlos broke her a long time ago. He's still breaking Lando.

He keys the room open, expecting to see food on the table and Lando sitting patiently. What he hears instead is Lando moaning. The sheets shifted around underneath his writhing body.

Carlos just stands and watches for a minute. Lando is clearly aware he's is but making no attempt to stop. The sounds he's letting out are exaggerated and whiny. Terribly desperate for something Carlos won't give him.

"Mmm - Oscah..."

And Carlos snaps. Any semblance of self-restraint disappears. The stoic facade he was trying to keep dissolves into a fiery anger. Red hot and boiling in his stomach.

Carlos storms over to Lando and flips him without any difficulty. He pins him with one hand and undoes his belt with the other. "What a fucking brat. You can't be a slut for one second can you?"

Lando is whining underneath him. It's a pathetic noise, and Carlos soaks up every bit of it. "Desperate little thing." He wraps Lando's wrists in his bet and tightens it. The Brit lay bare and vulnerable at the mercy of Carlos' decisions.

Carlos spares a glance at the female. She has stripped her own clothes and is kneeling by the bed. He wants to drown in the sight and ravish her until neither of them can breathe. "Must you ruin my plans, Landito?"

"Just wanted to feel you."

"Yeah, you're going to feel me for weeks after I'm done with you."

Carlos motions for the girls to come to him on the bed. She crawls to him, big eyes clouded with want. "You're so perfect, amour. I'm going to reward you for being so good this weekend. Lando will watch and take notes."

Lando whines as Carlos rolls him onto his back. Rough and calloused fingers grip at Lando's hips. They tease the sensitive areas where Lando needs him most. Cock achingly hard and dripping.

"Stay put and I might let you cum tonight."

Carlos moves closer to the angelic female, looking at him like he is the only thing in the world. He strips off his own clothes and pulls her body closer to his. The skin on skin alone has her eyes rolling back.

He pushes her head lower. Her mouth opens to receive his cock with no hesitation. She wraps her lips around him with such skill that Carlos can only get lost in it. Hand buried in her hair if only to worship her. There is no need to guide or hold as he bucks his hips up and hits the back of her throat.

It's impossible for him not to take advantage of her mouth. It is harder to stay away from the edge of ecstasy. But he manages, he pulls her off him and slams his lips onto hers.

His fingers slips into her cunt with ease. Wet from the weekend of waiting. The anticipation of feeling him finally comes to fruition.

"Sir, please - I need you." The brg falls from her lips like it's her first language. All she knows is him; drowning in the way his fingers rub against her g-spot. "Need to be filled by you."

Carlos can't deny the girl anything. He burries himself in her. Eye's burning holes into Lando's as he snaps his hips at a relentless pace. "How does it feel knowing this could've been you?"

Lando whines and pouts, hips bucking towards the spainard to find the friction he needs. Carlos grants him nothing but a handprint on his ass. Tears spring into his eyes at the sting. It grants Carlos a sick kind of satisfaction.

His girl pants his name. Her tongue sticks out of her mouth in search of him. The only satisfaction she gains is from being good for Carlos.

He feels her tighten around him, alerting him that she's on the edge. "Wait for me, I'm almost there." He whispers against her skin. She scratches at his back as he picks up the pace. Her own way of claiming him, it sends Carlos' head spinning.

She's begging for it but waiting so patiently. The control he has over her is intoxicating. He could keep her like this forever, but she's been good and deserves a reward.

"Cum for me, you've been so good princessa." She tightens around him, walls refusing to let up. Her body jolts in the pleasurable waves of dopamine and serotonin.

Carlos finishes with a few sloppy thrusts, painting the inside of her white. The only thing left is their heavy breathes as they bask in the high.

Carlos praises her as he pulls out. She whines at the loss of him, so he places a hand on her hip to ensure she knows he's present while in a vulnerable headspace. It's endearing how she needs him.

"See that Lando? Do you think you can be good? Can you listen to my words like the good boy I know you are?"

Lando is sobbing. Putty in the hands of Carlos. Broken and beautiful. Just the way he should be.

Carlos takes pity on him. Places Lando in-between the girls' legs. He waits, unmoving inside of his perfect girl.

He drips lube all over his fingers and takes care in opening up the Brit, but leaves him right enough to ensure a bit if a sting still.

Lando is keening. He's trying so hard not to move; to be good for Carlos.

Carlos takes his time sinking into the Brit. Each movement sends him further into the warmth of his Carlos' perfect girl. Lando is sobbing now, begging for anything Carlos is willing to give.

Carlos finally gives in. He show the two of them to mercy. Teeth clamping onto Lando's neck to mark him and fingers pinching the girls nipples causing her to shreik.

Perfect for him.

His.

All his.

Carlos fucks them into overstimulation. He's relentless and refuses to let the moment go to waste. Not when they are sobbing in pure ecstacy.

They chant his name, and he feeds off it. He could live in this place. Only hearing them worship him for the rest of his life.

Finally, he slows. He pulls out gently and whispers words of encouragement and praise. He kisses up and down their bodies and worships them because they are completely his.

He cleans them up with gentle hands, let's them know how much he loves and adores them.

Carlos cuddles them to sleep. The feeling of their hearts beating on either side of him only sends him further into the chasm of adoration for the two.

Hearts that are beating with his in tadem.

Hearts that beat for him.

[rookinthecrownest]

Bedtime Stories For a Demon: The Day The World Disappeared, Part III (Lucanis x Rook Fanfic)

Rook is trapped in the Fade. Spite is determined to get her out.

Word Count: ~ 3.7 k

Part I

Part II

Spite Dellamorte is in the raw Fade once again.

He had followed the journal’s essence back to the ruins of her village the moment Lucanis finally fell asleep earlier that evening.

Lucanis had taken to planning the approach of Rook’s rescue with Emmrich and Bellara. They spent hours agonizing over the logistics of getting to Rook’s village in rural Tevinter. Whether they’d sail from Antiva with the Crows or travel inland with the Veil Jumpers. How many mages they’d need, how much Lyrium to bring, whether or not the plan with the Resonance Amplifiers would even work.

Spite didn’t have the patience for any of it. He wouldn’t wait until they were in Tevinter to get her out.

So, he comes to her corner of the Fade while Lucanis dreams, and stares at the void.

The prison that holds Rook captive floats in the ruins of her family home. Harsh waves of magical energy ripple out, causing distortions in the surrounding environment. It reminds him of the Ossuary that Lucanis had kept them both a prisoner of, even after their escape. A little pocket of the Fade, within the Fade. Inescapable – without the right key.

Reminds him of Rook, the key to every lock that was keeping them trapped.

He would not let her suffer the same fate. If he wasn’t going to get her out for his own sake – that he enjoyed Rook’s antics, then he would do it to keep Lucanis from being paralyzed again. Better yet, he would do it to spite the Dread Wolf, that he may wrench victory from the God’s grasp by freeing the lynch pin to his downfall. The thought made him positively giddy with excitement.

Spite feels the journal tugging him towards her, bringing him closer the black hole’s orbit. So dense, so powerful, he thinks he’ll be split apart if he enters its gravitational pull.

And yet he must. So, he will.

Spite hesitantly unfurls spectral black-and-purple wings to give him more stability against the force of the prison’s magic. The demon braces himself and takes a few hesitant steps towards the black hole. The strength of the pull is enough to tear him to pieces, even at this distance. It feels like being shred apart from the inside and the outside at the same time – pushed and pulled into infinite directions. This prison was not going to make it easy to enter.

It’s a good thing he is as stubborn as Rook.

The essence of the journal thrums loudly in his chest, resonating with the pull of the prison. It was calling to her, and she, knowingly or not, was calling back.

She. Wants. Out. Dread Wolf. Wants Her In.

And that was all the motivation he needed to take another step forward.

But the closer he got to the prison, the more difficult it became to even think straight. He was being crushed under the weight of raw power. It was bearing down on him from every direction. He holds a gloved hand out in front of him, and it distorts like it’s been put under water. The demon growls in frustration and inches closer.

He’s near enough to reach out and touch the void, but the air around it is so heavy he can barely lift his arm. It’s like moving through molasses. He clenches his teeth. With a beat of his wings, and a low snarl of frustration, Spite does manage to touch it. Spite’s hand distorts such that his fingers are stretched out like the … what was it called – spaghetti, that Lucanis is so fond of? Searing pain shoots up his arm, like something he’s never experienced before. He grits his teeth. The deep pit of black ripples at his touch but it doesn’t open.

Spite, not one to be bested by some strange magical thing he doesn’t quite understand, beats his wing and launches himself closer, attempting to put his whole hand through. The prison both pulls and repulses him, the pressure nearly buckling his legs.

When it doesn’t budge, Spite fights gravity to raise his free arm to his chest and instead, focuses on the journal.

He grips his chest, and pulls at its essence, drawing as much power from it as he can.

The familiar blue light erupts from his chest and mixes with the void, two magics entwining and repulsing like oil and water. The waves of energy are just powerful enough to create a small opening, tiny enough that he can see the Fade within the Fade. It looks like another replica of the current Arvanitum – but this one is not in ruins. It looks perfectly preserved, as if frozen in time.

Spite clenches his jaw and with no small effort, brings his other hand to try and pull the prison apart. His attempts falter as the prison continues to reject him, but through the small opening the demon spies Rook’s childhood home, standing on the hill with soft orange candlelight flickering through the windows.

The journal reacts more strongly now, acting like a tether between him and the girl inside. The tugging in his chest becomes more uncomfortable, almost painful. The opening gets marginally larger, but not enough for him to pass through.

Finally, he feels the weight of futility falling on his shoulders, as his strength gives out and the opening collapses before him. Spite retreats back several steps, until he’s out of range of the prison’s gravitational pull. The demon lets out a frustrated growl.

Mierda.

He doesn’t like failure. But if he’s learned anything from watching Rook, failure is a teacher.

And the failed attempt does give him an idea.

It’s not something he’s ever tried, but instinctually knows he should be able to do. After all, he chose this form – chose to look like his host. He should be able to choose something else. And they are in the raw Fade - it’s much easier for him to be what he is here.

He thinks with a smaller form, and more speed, he can use the journal to force his way into the prison.

Spite pictures his and Lucanis’ namesake.

A Crow. I will send. My regards.

The demon flutters his wings, imagines them smaller, more compact. Shrinks himself down to the size of a small bird. The process is painful and uncomfortable, like bones breaking and reforming. When the process is done, Spite takes a moment to consider his new form. The feathers, claws, and sharp beaks – he likes. But at this size, he was hardly menacing. Thankfully, he doesn’t need menacing for this particular job.

With a beat of his wings and launches into the air. Spite, although smaller, can still feel the journal’s essence pulsating behind a plume of black and purple feathers.

Drawing on the power of the journal, he circles the air above the prison.

He flies a little higher, folds his wings against his back, and dives towards the prison. As Spite draws closer to the gravitational pull, that familiar feeling of being crushed under the weight of unimaginable pressure starts building, but he won’t let it slow him down. He pushes through the pain and keeps falling.

Falling, falling, and falling.

And the magic keeps ripping, tearing, and crushing.

Just when he thinks he can’t take it anymore, that he’ll be torn to pieces, he manages to push through the walls of the prison.

Spite lands on the dirt ground in front of her family home. The lights are on, and he can see movement from one of the upstairs windows. A small, lone shadow, moving about. The journal flickers brightly, and there’s that familiar tugging sensation in his chest.

Rook.

~*~

Madeleina Mercar mills about her room while her father sleeps, and her mother tends to the shop downstairs. She has lavender-scented candles filling the room with their sweet, heady, aroma. It smells like mother, like home.

And she is so very happy to be home.

She hums an old lullaby her father used to play on the lyre when she was smaller. She’s outgrown lullabies, but not stories. Never stories. She wonders which one he’ll tell tonight. He regaled her with the story of the Sleeping Princess, her favourite, last night.

And the night before that.

And the night before that.

Madeleina shakes her head.

There was a long time between now and story time. There were chores to be done, and after, she would go down and help her mother with the shop.

As she did the day before.

And the day before that.

Her mother had come in earlier and asked her to organize her books and clothes. Although her work is inherently messy, she despises mess. A contradiction the young Madeleina finds both endearing and frustrating in equal measure.

So, she shuffles back and forth, carting books into the small bookshelf in the corner, and haphazardly folded clothes into wooden drawers.

She’s about to start making her bed, when a rhythmic tapping noise gets her attention first. Madeleina, mid-step, turns towards the sound. She spies a small crow, one with unusual glowing purple eyes and brilliant black-and-violet plumage, sitting on her windowsill. Familiar purple eyes that turn her stomach.

She thinks it strange but decides to continue with her chores. She’s seeing things. It was just a trick of the light. Stop staying up so late, her mother’s phantom voice chides in the back of her mind.

The blanket is barely in her hands when the tapping, more aggressive now, resumes.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The crow fluffs its feathers and tilts its head innocently. Clearly not going anywhere. By now, she’s willing to consider the possibility she may not be seeing things.

“Rook”

The blanket drops from her hands. Her mouth hangs open stupidly.

The crow was speaking? To her?

“Let. Me. In” The crow demands, in a low, gravelly voice. Familiar. Like it’s eyes.

She doesn’t know what to do but stand there, still as a tree.

Animals don’t usually speak. Or have glowing purple eyes. It must be a demon of some sorts, come to possess her. Madeleina wants to run to her father’s bedroom, wake him and tell him to make it go away, but her feet stay planted in place. She wants to scream but only a soft breath escapes her lips. She wants her heart to start beating with fear and adrenaline.

But it doesn’t. It’s perfectly calm.

If this thing is a demon, then it’s one her body doesn’t feel uneasy around. And that frightens her.

“Let. Me. In.” The crow repeats and taps on the window again for good measure.

This was a terrible idea.

It’s going to possess me, it’s going to possess me. Madeleina repeats the sentence like a mantra as her feet carry her to the window. She wants to say they’re doing so against her will, but a small part of her knows that would be a lie.

The latch clicks as the window swings open, and the crow wastes no time flitting about her room in a daze of black and violet, before settling on the back of her chair. The young girl merely folds her hands in front of her and regards it wearily.

“Are you a demon?” She asks quietly, after a moment.

The bird nods. “I. Am. Spite.”

“Have you … have you come to possess me?”

It tilts his head, and almost looks offended at the question. “Come. To bring. You home. Rook.”

Madeleina mirrors the bird and tilts her head too. “I am home” She replies firmly.

“Not here. Not. Your home.” Spite says, “Come. With me. Rook.”

The young girl’s small fingers make fists at her side. What a stubborn little demon.

“You keep calling me Rook. Why? I don’t know that name”

“You. Are. Rook” The bird answers.

Madeleina shakes her head, and her thick ropey braid swings over her shoulder. “No, I’m not. I’m … I’m …”

I am … I’m … My name is …

It ruffles its feathers and looks like it’s about to peck her eyes out of her skull.

“You. Are. Rook.” The bird’s unnaturally deep voice says firmly, “Smell. Like Lavender and Rosewater. Chocolate and Cinnamon and Thunderstorms.”

It points a long, sharp beak towards the window.

“Lucanis. Waiting for you. And Your Stories”

Madeleina takes a few steps back and sits on the edge of her bed. She slowly ponders the name, turns it over in her mind like a stone she’s about to whip across a lake.

Lucanis.

Why is that name so familiar? The smell of chocolate and coffee fills her nostrils again. The warmth of a fire lingers on her skin. Then, the taste of something she’s never had on her tongue. It’s sweet, doughy, and powdered with cinnamon. She doesn’t have a name for it, but she knows it.

Madeleina closes her eyes and focuses on the new sensations – smell, touch, taste. All that is missing is sight. Why can’t she see, in her mind’s eye, what the crow is talking about? It was like trying to recall a dream right when you wake. A memory that slips through her fingers like trying to hold water.

“I …” She starts slowly, not quite sure what she wants to say. A sentence half-forms on her lips, then quickly unspools at the seams. Her lips press into a hard line, as she finds her confidence, “I don’t know that name. You must be mistaking me for someone else”

The bird flutters its tail feathers, irate at her rebuttal.

“You. Are. Rook” It repeats the same line with a surety that frightens her.

She doesn’t want there to be truth to it.

“You. Don’t remember.” The bird continues, “I. Will make. You remember.”

Madeleina wraps her arms around her knees, drawing in close to herself. She regards the crow carefully. “How do you even know me?”

“Freed us from. The Ossuary. Lucanis knows you. Lucanis and I. Are one. You made it so”

The Ossuary. That name should mean nothing to her. But the scent of brine and sulphur fill her nostrils, despite being hundreds of miles from the Nocen sea. The faint sensation of something horrible happening, in some place far, far, away.

“I’ve… done no such thing. And as I said before, I don’t know this ‘Lucanis’ you keep mentioning” Madeleina says, a touch more defensive. She points towards the window, “I think it’s time for you to leave, Mr. Crow – er, Spite”

The crow fluffs up and settles onto the chair. A round, black-and-purple ball of defiance. Frustratingly true to its name and nature.

“I will not.”Spite replies, “Not. Without you.”

Madeleina huffs. She has half a mind to pick the bird up and throw it out the window. It is only the sharp beak that keeps her from doing it. That, and she promised her mother she wouldn’t trouble animals any further. Although, she’s certain her mother would make allowances for demons who’ve overstayed their welcome.

“Fine, then I’m going to sleep. You can stay there all day and all night. I’m not leaving” With a dramatic flourish, she turns towards the wall, throws her blanket over her, and pretends to nap. She shuts her eyes tight and hugs her blanket close. The picture of petulant, childish resistance.

The bird clicks and grinds its beak but doesn’t speak any further. Nor does she hear the fluttering of wings flying out of her window, as she hoped to.

“Once. Upon a time. In a land far. Far away” Spite begins after a few minutes of silence, in that familiar-but-not-quite patterned and disjointed speech.

Madeleina’s eyes fly open, but she doesn’t move. Only listens.

“King and Queen. They wanted. A baby. Couldn’t have one!”

Her heart beats uncomfortably quick in her chest. She tries to keep her breathing even as he continues.

“Queen goes. To a Spirit. Demon in disguise. Uses blood magic to have the baby”

It’s not the content of the story that’s making her nervous, it’s the emotions and memories they’re stirring up. The Sleeping Princess was a popular enough tale that it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for even a demon to rehash the plot, albeit clumsily. But there’s something more to it – a missing piece of this very strange puzzle.

“Lucanis. Waits for what happens next. But you stop. And take a break” The crow continues, “You stop. And his heart. Beats faster. He waits for you. Only you.”

There’s the smell of chocolate and cinnamon again. The warmth of a fire. But now she has a faint memory of a fireplace, one very different from the modest mantle in her home. It’s larger, more ornate. Made of a different kind of stone, she thinks. Madeleina is sitting on a wooden chair across from someone who’s face she can’t quite make out. The form is shadowed, but clearly that of a man’s. She couldn’t discern his features properly. She takes a sip of something warm, and he does the same.

Madeleina feels like they’ve done this many times and never at all.

“You show him. Wonders in front. Of his eyes. Stories brought to life. With magic. He measures nights. By your tales. Days. Waiting for the next.”

Madeleina covers her ears and curls up into a ball.

No, no, no.

This isn’t right. These memories are not hers. She doesn’t know this demon. The Ossuary means nothing to her. Nor does a man named Lucanis.

She is … She is a girl who lives in Arvanitum, with her parents. The baker and the bard and their daughter. Madeleina plays in the forest and learns the lyre and lute, she reads books and listens to her father’s stories every night. She’s learning to bake tartes from her mother, but always ends up burning them.

She is not what this demon says.

She is not Rook.

“Come. With me. Come. Ho- “

Spite squawks in surprise as her bedroom door flies open. The demonic crow escapes through the open window not even a moment later, as her mother enters her room.

Eurydice spies her daughter curled up on the bed, covering her ears.

“Darling, are you alright? I heard voices – “

Madeleina shoots up quickly and hugs her mother tightly the moment she’s within arm’s reach. A surprised ‘Oompf’ escapes her mother’s lips, but she circles her arms around the girl a moment later.

There’s another memory, different from the ones the crow’s story evoked. This one gave her an even stranger sense of deja-vu. An argument between them that happened on a day just like this. Something minor or silly, she thinks. Madeleina spent the rest of the day hiding out by the edge of the forest, drawing doodles in the dirt with a stick until it was dark. Orpheus had come to collect her on his way back from work, and she was still scowling the entire way home.

So much time wasted.

She hugs her mother closer, and tears are falling before any words even leave her mouth.

“I’m s-sorry” Madeleina whimpers.

Her mother is eerily silent as she starts brushing her fingers through Madeleina’s braided hair, and keeps an arm wrapped tightly around her.

A little too tightly.

~ *~

Lucanis Dellamorte awakes from slumber with a violent jolt.

Spite had come crashing back into him without warning, sending every fiber of his being on high alert.

He makes a strangled, gasping noise and shoots upright from his spot on Rook’s couch, with his heart pounding in his chest. He’s once again bathed in the familiar blue-green light of the panoramic ocean view in her room. Every time he wakes up here, there’s a small pang of fear that he’s back in the Ossuary. It quickly settles when he’s able to touch the velveteen fabric of the couch and hear the familiar clicking of her magical device in the corner. Little reminders that this was a place of comfort, of safety, and not the seat of his worst memories.

As Lucanis is busy gathering his thoughts, Spite wastes no time manifesting in front of him. The demon looks more irate than usual. He’s pacing back and forth, with gloved fingers curled into fists at his side.

Lucanis takes a deep breath, steadies himself and speaks.

“What happened, Spite?”

The demon stops his frantic pacing and scowls at its host.

“Rook. Is. A. Child.” He spits out. “Doesn’t. Listen to me! No one. Listens. To Spite!”

Lucanis’ face drops, and he’s on his feet a moment later.

“You saw her? In the Fade?” If the demon had a body, Lucanis would have a death grip on his shoulders.

Spite throws a hand in the air, “Tried. To get her. To come home. She won’t. Listen.”

Lucanis frowns. He’s so impatient he wants to leap out of his own skin.

“What did you see, Spite? I need to know” He doesn’t bother hiding the desperation in his voice. He doesn’t need to hide anything with Spite anymore.

“Dread Wolf’s prison. Made her small. A child again. Doesn’t remember us.”

His heart sinks into the pit of his stomach. The prison was making her forget Spite? Forget him? The situation was worse than he could have imagined. Fear and anxiety and horror clawed their way into his chest, putting down deep roots like he hadn’t experienced since his time in the Ossuary. This couldn’t be happening. He can’t lose her like this.

Spite touches the left side of his chest, where a heart would be if he was human.

“The journal. A little weaker.”

Lucanis runs a shaking hand through his hair and exhales nervously.

“She smells like blood and sulphur and iron. Dread Wolf’s blood magic. Using her memories. To keep her trapped.” Spite continues, before putting a spectral hand on Lucanis’ shoulder.

“Running. Out of time. Need to get. Rook out. Now.”

So, Solas used blood magic to go through her memories so as to keep her locked away. Lucanis can’t say he’s surprised the conniving Fen’Harel would pull a stunt like that. It does little to settle his temper, though. White hot rage bubbles under his skin, crackling like lightning. Spite feels it too, as he merges back with his host. Eyes burning bright violet as their spectral wings unfurled.

Lucanis doesn’t know how they were going to get her out.

But he does know that his target list went from two gods, to three.

--------------------------

A huge shoutout to @teawithshakespeare for helping me out with this chapter, it honestly wouldn't have happened without ur help. Srsly thank you so much for letting me ramble in your DM's about these two!!

Thanks again to everyone for reading, I appreciate you all!!

[roturo]

EUNOIA

•synopsis: Who would've believed Gojo Satoru can become one with a curse? maybe another version of him is breathing and motivation being awakened from him. Will you come to him?

PLEASE REPOST AND LEAVE A COMMENT ;)

•warnings: smut, penis in vagina, blowjob (reader), nipple play (both), corruption kink, dacryphilia, overstimulation, plenty orgasms, unprotected sex, pussy eating, use of nicknames (princess, baby, pup, sweetheart...),mating press, marking, possessive behavior, curse!reader, virgin!reader, gojo is portrayed as playboy somewhere, gojo whimpers just bc i say so, soft!dom gojo, lovesick!gojo, like, really lovesick, enemies to lovers, angst & fluff, reader is a strong curse just because i can, afab & she/her reader.

EUNOIA; (eúnoia)  'well mind; beautiful thinking'

Love is a heavy word. You can’t love everyone, nor everything.

The word ‘love’ has loosen its meaning through time…

or has it become more natural?

Looking back at society in past years, everything was built by hate, anger…  to kill.

But now? Things are almost the same. Society became more peaceful, tuneful even. But those emotions full of anger & hate became locked inside people to maintain society as a ‘safe space’

And people couldn’t suppress them forever, as hard as you tried to help people find love, happiness, not only on people, but on things, music, life.

They couldn’t change their shady mind into beautiful thinking.

But you couldn’t blame yourself for not helping people to free their mind and find at least the good things in life. You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. 

Walking through the lightful streets of Tokyo, watching people and their emotions, you couldn’t resist throwing some powder disguised as dust for people to inhale and keep those bad emotions away from them for some time. But for some reason that wasn’t enough to get rid of that bad energy spreading all over the place.

People seemed more relaxed, one of your techniques worked. Playing with people’s mind, the saneness and atmosphere felt the same as before, but you could sense people were more sensible.

So you couldn’t understand what’s going on. As you kept walking forward, following the energy to find from where it’s from, you stopped in a… bakery? 

Looking through the big windows of the place, you finally knew from whom it was coming. But something seemed wrong. He seems happy eating whatever dessert he ordered, his appearance seemed in order, not showing any kind of sadness, or desmotivation. 

It was strange enough of him to use some black small rounded glasses inside of a store at night. His white hair was easy to distinguish and locate him easily. He looked like he’s really tall, looking at his long legs barely being capable of sitting comfortably in those chairs from the bakery. He was perfect.

But you couldn’t quite decipher why he has this happy mood from the outside but some type of bad energy coming from him.

Until… it clicked in.

Cursed energy. A lot of it. But you could also sense stress from him, a tiny bit of sadness. You felt your cheek getting wet from an unexpected tear coming out. Wiping it away from your face, you looked at your hand,

You could sense people’s mind, but never their feelings nor their emotions. So why are you feeling this from him? The loss of someone, worry for others, fear of failure again… 

And it seems like he felt it too, putting down the cupcake he was about to bite, furrowing his eye-brows, looking for something… someone.

Until he sensed cursed energy coming from somewhere, outside this bakery, so he looked at you. He knows you are a curse, so why do you look so human? So real? How could people see you too?

You locked eyes with him, feeling stronger emotions coming out of the both of you, stress was the first one. When his eyes met yours, his body untensed for a moment, before tensing again and his brows furrowing again, but this time instead of looking just confused, he also seemed angry.

Feeling this coming out of him, a strong energy surrounding him, made you start running away from it. Pushing people out of the way, looking somewhere safer to calm down.

But you underestimated this guy, he was faster, stronger, bigger. And he found you in less of a second in that lonely alley.

‘Who are you and what did you just do to me?’ He grabbed you by the neck of your shirt, making you squeak when he pushed you to the wall.

‘I-I don’t k-know.. I’m so-sorry, please don’t exorcize me sir… I’m not evil nor a threat to people, i-in fact I want to h-help them.’ You were praying to somehow escape from this alive and unharmed, his cursed energy is so overwhelming you could swear you were drowning on it. 

Gojo has dealt with curses who could talk, even understand him. But he never saw a curse like you. Human looking. And somehow you avoided his infinity to use your powers on him. That’s why he has you like this, he could easily exorcize you right now and right here with just a clap, but he needed to know first why and how you trespassed his infinity.

‘How did you do that?’ He pushed you harder to the wall, hitting your head with it, but not hard enough to be in pain. 

‘D-do what?’

‘Connected with me.’

‘What?...’

‘You.. you somehow trapassed my infinity and connected with me or some shit, how did you do that? That’s not possible.’ What did he just say? Infinity?

‘And how could I not sense you immediately? Who are you?’

Wait… ‘You’re Gojo Satoru?!’ You jumped from his grip, moving to your side.

The strongest sorcerer of all, right in front of you, asking for your name, looking the good way, you were flattered to know he had some type of interest in you. So you did what he asked you and told him your name.

‘I-I don’t know how I did that, that w-was new for me too, I just can sense bad thinking from people and fix it into good thinking, bu-but I could never feel it or know why they’re feeling that way…’

He looked at you in disbelief, and then proceeded to sigh. ‘Try it.’

‘What?’

‘Try to do that again.’ He signaled the both of you.

‘Uh… Do I have to look at you in the eyes?’

‘I don’t know! It’s supposed to be your technique.’

You sighed, and then looked at him. He’s really handsome you thought, feeling your face getting hot, you concentrated your whole energy to one, and trespassed to connect to him.

And you think he didn’t notice yet when you discovered he was feeling flustered to look at you again, but he had enough self control to not show it. But then his eyes widened and grabbed you by your cheeks, not strong enough to hurt you, but making your face look like a fish.

‘What the…fuck.’ If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t be able to hear how low the whisper was. But suddenly you felt his index finger in the middle of your forehead and everything started getting blurry, feeling giddy, until everything went blank.

You woke up in a white room, your eyes still adjusting to the shiny lights, Hearing some background voices, you were trying to fully wake up.

‘What the hell are we going to do Shoko? Do I have to kill her? This has never happened since… ‘He stopped himself before continuing.  ‘Well… isn’t she a threat?’

‘I don’t even know Gojo, this is as new to me as new to you. I have never seen a curse like… her? Is she even a person? Mind manipulation is one thing, but… she has never used her curse for the bad, y’know? Maybe she’s not a threat.’ Gojo scoffed, looking in disbelief at you, not noticing you were starting to wake up.

‘What grade is she?’

‘Uh well… for her power she should be a semi-grade 1, but if we take in consideration the fact she trespassed your infinity she should be a special grade, but… it seems like she doesn’t know how to use it, nor how to fight, so it’s basically just a title.’

You tried to stand up, but some chains stopped you from it. You could see Shoko and Gojo jump in surprise when they heard you moving.

It was an awkward situation, the three of you looking at each other without talking. Maybe they’re waiting for you to start talking? Fight?

‘What are we doing with her?’

 Basically they decided to leave you alive, for future purposes apparently. They had one rule for you.

‘Never leave Gojo’s side.’

And yeah, it was really awkward at first, having to spend time with the strongest sorcerer, obviously annoyed by your presence and how they seemed to like you.

Sleeping on the floor of his room was really uncomfortable. Spending cold nights with just a blanket in your body makes you rethink your whole existence.

Everyone was really nice, they treated you as someone else and not like the person who could go through ‘Gojo’s Satoru Infinity’

Everyone but him. His silly personality was really cute and you tried to befriend him, making jokes, trying to get to know him, but as much as you tried you never got to warm up.

They told you he likes sweets, okay! That's a useful fact!

And well, it was a good fact indeed. You made some cookies for him, his eyes sparked up when he saw the plate full of cookies for him, he just looked at you and thanked you with a small smile. It was starting to work out!

Your never-ending enthusiasm to befriend him began to work its magic on Gojo. Whether it was your mischievous pranks or your infectious laughter, your presence gradually started to warm the usually distant sorcerer's heart. Soon, even Gojo couldn't deny the hidden charm beneath your cursed exterior. Finding himself in his room tasting different desserts you made for him, thinking about you on missions when eating at a bakery, thinking your desserts don’t compare to what he’s eating right now. He started to like you. 

Twisted nights spent together by the both of you, bursting laughter coming from the both of you, laying on the grass looking for stars, taking you to missions (just to the place he’s visiting, he didn’t want you to be in danger)...

He never saw himself falling for a girl, a curse, he’s more of a one night stand, never going on dates, just buying luxury things for them to keep them an extra week with him. But as Your relationship with Gojo deepened, you discovered the mask behind his unflappable façade. Gojo opened up to you, sharing his dreams, doubts, and fears. You reciprocated by offering your unwavering support, feeling what he’s feeling like you’re the one who went through it. Your bond became a haven of understanding, acceptance, and genuine affection.

He began to show his lighter-side with you, being affectionate with you (in private since he was too shy for pda, because what would they think about this?), but he was afraid.

He was afraid of the power you were having over him, he showed you a new world while you gave him sparkling moments that go in a flash because of how much he enjoys them. He even finds himself smiling at your picture he took with his phone while the both of you were teasing the other. Your pouty lips, trying to hit him.

Hit him.

He never felt someone hitting him playfully until he met you.

He never felt someone hugging him until one rainy night you were shivering on the floor, he invited you to his bed and woke up next to you, your hands hugging his body tightly like you were afraid of him leaving you. That day, became an usual morning routine. Waking up at the sight of you resting on his chest, caressing your cheeks and just admiring your beauty.

He was afraid of losing you.

He wasn’t afraid of you trying to kill him, turning evil, shit, he wasn’t afraid if you tried to fucking kill all the humans in this world. He was afraid of you leaving his side, you were the most precious thing in this world for him.

You colored his more of five senses and became the purple of his blue and red. 

Until one day you weren’t by his side in the morning. He called for your name, maybe you were in the bathroom, but he was just with silence in the room. Maybe you were somewhere in the halls walking through the students' dorms? Maybe Nobara called for you?

But nothing. 

His greatest fear, losing someone again became reality. 

Well, not truly…

Maybe you were planning to ask him to be his girlfriend?...

And thank god he was a little foolish to never think about your plan.

When he went to search for you after Nobara told him ‘you went shopping’ you quickly entered the room and started preparing everything.

It wasn’t some luxury set up with petals everywhere, a jacuzzi and balloons, but you had his favorite desserts, a small letter of you confessing your feelings for him, and some matching bracelets for the both of you.

You dressed up in your floral sundress, put some make-up on and fixed your hair once Nobara gave you the heads up for Gojo coming back.

And oh boy, Gojo came back pissed. Truly hiding he was so fucking terrified of not finding you. He was mumbling things under his breath, swearing he would kill everyone if he didn’t find you.

Even Shoko was shocked at his behavior since he never seemed this committed to a girl like he did right now, he seemed happier with you, brighter.

And he swears he was about to fucking hit Ijichi until he felt a known energy coming from his room. In a blink he was standing in front of his door, he could sense you were anxious, his hands started getting sweaty, not knowing what to expect.

When he opened the door and saw you standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, with a small smile adorning your face, the familiar smell of freshly made mochis, you could see his shoulders untensed, he was no longer wearing his glasses nor his blindfold. He seemed confused at first until you stepped closer to him and handed him a letter.

‘Dear ‘Toru:

How do I even start this? You’ll be surprised to know that everytime I reach for your hand after an exhausting night makes me feel relaxed in an instant. Ever since we met, the word ‘love’ has become something different for me. It became a stronger and heavier word to take out of me. You made me stop focusing on what others think, to try and teach everyone how important it is to have a feeling of goodwill. Because not everyone knows how it feels to find someone that makes you feel like you want to improve this world since you see the rest of your life with them. They say love is blind but I personally believe that this is not true because I can see and feel the love that exists between us. My love for you is capable of turning back the hands of the clock.

In other words, the issue here is that you think I’m not head over heels in love with your dumb fucking ass.’

You heard Gojo chuckle and looking back at you, you swear his eyes were brighter than last time you saw them, his demeanor seemed excited. And in not even a second he was grabbing you by your waist and giving a spin before hugging you.

‘You don’t know how much I wanted to do this, but I guess you were faster than me. You’ve got me acting like a fool.’ After that his lips connected with yours, and it was like they were molded for him. It tasted as sweet as candy, such a precious thing for someone else to have. He feels like he just won the lottery, fuck that, he has all the money he has, he feels like he just fucking rules this world.

He grabbed your legs with both of his hands, your legs wrapping around his body taking you into an even closer hug. Taking some steps back making sure to close the door. Then he laid you down on his bed. Giving small pecks all around your face which cause you to giggle. His kisses started trailing down your neck until he found that spot that made you whine and make your breathing heavier.

Your hands wrapped around his neck, supporting yourself, he continued kissing you. His hands roaming and exploring your whole body. Taking a break from kissing, he grabbed your hands from his neck, pinning them with one of his hands all extended above your head on the bed.

He just admired your form, your pouty lips after all that kissing, your uneven breathing trying to calm yourself down. You were perfect. You were now his.

‘Baby… before I continue, are you sure about this?’ He asked you, his eyes searching for any discomfort in your body. You nodded your head, giving him a shy smile.

‘I need words baby, words.’ He chuckled at you, getting closer to your ear and slightly biting the part of your neck below it. 

‘Just fuck me already ‘toru, be my first for once.’

Gojo’s breath stopped suddenly, his eyes were wide thanks to the unexpected information. The thought of being the first man to make you his, and he’s sure he’ll also be the last, made the blood of his brain go exactly to his dick.

He sighed, almost sounding like a whimper, ‘Is that so baby? he hummed before his hands got under your dress and started playing with your nipples. You didn’t bother to use a bra since the fabric of the dress was thick enough to cover your body. With a pinch on your nipple with his index finger and thumb, twisting it, made you moan, at which he just smirked.

His free hand started unzipping your dress, his other hand leaving your tits to help you undress, leaving you just in your underwear. He looked at you like if you were a piece of art, (which you are for his eyes only) admiring his work of marking you, your face already fucked up and he just started.

‘We can stop anytime.’ He assured you at which you just shyly nodded before your hands grabbed his shirt, signaling to take it off. He chuckled before doing so, he started kissing you again, then slowly going down your body, kissing your tits, tummy, until he reached your underwear. He gave you a last look before he continued. He gave a small peck on your clothed pussy before taking it off. 

‘Can’t believe I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet. Makes me want to wreck you.’ His face suddenly surged into your pussy, his nose tickling your clit while he started teasing your hole with his tongue. Making you moan his name, you could feel he started drawing infinity symbols with his tongue before it changed to pleasure your clit and he then inserted his index finger inside of you.

‘Y-yes ‘toru! Right there!..’ Your moans made him a starved man and started devouring your pussy with more favor, making the pleasure way too much to handle, moans and whines coming out of your mouth, he then inserted a second finger inside of you. Making you feel giddy and your vision becoming blurry thanks to the tears forming on your eyes.

‘That’s right sweetheart, cry for me, show me how much you like this.’ He stopped eating you out, while he admired your body twitching thanks to his fingers moving inside of you.

You covered your face with one of your arms and his movement suddenly stopped.

‘Ah-ah, I need to see you princess, 'm simply enjoying the view. it's not every day I get to fuck someone so pretty. Let me see that pretty face of yours and I'll continue.’ With a whine you uncover yourself and he starts moving his fingers again, transforming that whine into a moan. ‘That's it baby.’

He just needed to move his finger a little higher and with that your vision became white and you came. Stripes of your fluids wetting Gojo’s fingers.

‘Such a good little pup, aren't you?’ He chuckled to himself before he started unbuckling himself, giving you time to calm yourself down.

‘You want to continue sugar?’ You nodded and that’s all he needed before getting his remaining clothes off. Showing his hard cock, the base was beige-ish with a pink and hard tip. A vein adorning it on the left part, it wasn’t so thick but oh man, he was large.

‘It won’t fit ‘toru.’

‘I’ll make it fit baby.’

He started inserting his cock inside of you, the stretch making you furrow your face.He started giving you small pecks to distract you from the pain it’ll later turn into please. He was half in when you swear you could feel the tip of his cock coming out of your throat.

‘Just a bit more princess…’ Once he was completely inside, he gave you some time to adjust yourself. It wasn’t until his cock twitched a little inside of you that touched your gummy spot that made you see stars. 

‘Please move ‘toru.’

He started carefully thrusting, testing to see if you’re comfortable. ‘Do I continue- agh- baby..?’ He said between whimpers, feeling your hole clenching perfectly on his cock had him feeling like no other.

‘Huh…uh…keep going.’ He started thrusting faster, each time sucking him better than the last. ‘Faster—ah shit—harder…’

Your hands rested on his chest, while Gojo grabbed your legs, throwing them each on his shoulders, putting you into a mating press. Your hands then lowered themselves a little not his nipples, and you made an experimental movement of moving his nipple to the side, at which he responded with a whimper coming out of his mouth.

‘Nng~ That’s right baby, I love it when you touch me like that.’ He groaned when you pinched his right nipple, before a moan came out of you. Making you see stars again while he continued thrusting into you. Your fluids make it easier for him to insert himself again.

His hand traveled down your body until it met your clit, rubbing it, causing the overstimulation making you almost scream. Tears coming out of you, strips of cum filling your womb. But he didn’t stop.

‘I-im sorry baby, it just- ah~ feel so good.’ The overstimulation became too much for him too, rubbing your clit faster while he clumsy continued thrusting, making the both of you cum again in not even 5 minutes.

He lowered your legs down, admiring your hole full of his cum, before resting beside you. Getting an arm sound your body while he covered the both of you with the sheets and you rested your head on his chest.

Heavy breathing was all you could hear, before he gave you a small peck on the top of your head, looking back at him, the both of you smiled at the other. Both of you became one eunoia.

[little-diable]

Kinktober Day 8 - Loki

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading them, your comments keep us writers motivated. Enjoy my loves. xxx

🩶 Day 2 🩶 Temperature Play

Warnings: 18+, obviously smut, unprotected piv, oral (f)

Loki x fem!reader (1.2k words)

header by @deathofpeaceofmind

My Kinktober Masterlist

“I’m burning, I can feel my skin melting.” (Y/n) whined her words, allowing an annoyed huff to leave her as she paced her quarters, eyes set on the windows. New York was caught in a heatwave, a heat so strong barely any avengers managed to follow their tasks, running out of energy and motivation within a few moments. 

“I doubt your whining will make the heat go away.” Loki’s raspy chuckles filled her quarters, drawing a snarl from (y/n) as she turned towards the smirking god. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest as he let his eyes wander, taking in her barely dressed frame. 

“I should strangle you for that comment, so, you should be grateful that I love you.” Once again Loki gave into the chuckles threatening to claw through him, forcing him closer to her, hands finding their way to her naked skin. Their eyes met, getting lost in one another’s pupils for a few seconds before he pulled her in for a heated kiss, drawing moans from her. 

“Lay down for me, love. I’ll be back soon.” She watched him leave with parted lips and confused eyes, laying down on the bed with a sigh. (Y/n)’s thoughts were racing, eyes fluttering close to try and ground herself, listening to the sounds she could hear, the things she could smell, what her wandering fingers could feel. 

Her covers smelled like Loki, a scent so rich, so mysterious, (y/n) couldn’t help but allow waves of lust to flush through her, making goosebumps rise on her skin. Within a few moments she heard the door to her bedroom being pushed open once again, eyes fluttering open to watch her lover move around. 

Loki had rid himself of his shirt, naked upper body exposed to her curious eyes, though her gaze kept on wandering, finding the metal bowl he kept holding. A smirk began to widen on his lips as he murmured a soft though determined “Close your eyes, pet”. (Y/n) couldn’t protest, she followed the command, listened to his movements, felt the mattress dip as he crawled closer.

A gasp rippled through (y/n) as Loki’s lips found her neck, with an ice cube pressed between his lips. The ice teasing her warm skin was a welcomed sensation, forcing her to arch her front against Loki’s. His skilled fingers helped her out of her bra, finding her hardening nipples with another ice cube. 

Her moans kept guiding him, allowing him to keep on moving, to trace shapes, to tease her, to leave her waiting for more. Moans left (y/n) as Loki shifted his weight, pressing his growing bulge against her clothed heat, making her bundle of nerves pulse in anticipation, begging him to keep on going. 

“More, need more, please.” (Y/n) whispered the words, making Loki chuckle as he rose from his position, hands finding her panties to pull them down her legs, groaning at the sight of her cunt, folds covered in arousal. She watched him rid himself of his trousers, exposing his hardening cock to her. (Y/n) ached to touch him, wanting to wrap her fingers around him, needing to feel his soft skin pressed against her warm fingers, but before she could dwell on the thought, Loki had already found his way back between her thighs, pressing the ice cube to her folds. “Oh fuck!”

She shuddered and trembled, body confused by the different temperatures she was met with, different sensations (y/n)’s mind couldn’t catch up with. Loki clearly enjoyed seeing her like this, a shuddering mess, choking on his name, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of the wetness between her thighs, the way his fingers met her pulsing clit, and how he pressed the ice against her skin. 

“Loki,” she almost sobbed his name, hands fisting the covers, trying to stop herself from giving into her arising orgasm. “Fuck me, please, I need you inside of me.” 

“I should make you beg for it,” he pressed a kiss to her now cold inner thigh before he rose to his knees, hands finding their place next to her head. “I should make you cry for it, to show me how much you need me, but I think you’ve suffered enough, haven’t you, pet?”

Nothing but a moan managed to leave her, a moan interrupted by a gasp clawing through her as he pushed into her, groaning at the feeling of her warmth engulfing him. He couldn’t help but smirk down on her pleasure-drunken features, enjoying the pleasure only he managed to make her feel, giving into the pride making his ego grow. Loki fucked her hard, cock forced in and out of her tightness with an almost inhumane speed, making her gasp, choke, and moan. 

With one hand reaching for another ice cube, grateful for the way the metal bowl managed to keep them in shape, he pressed it against her chest, tracing her nipples, making her arch her back off the mattress. Both were making a mess, staining her covers, leaving marks on her skin, but neither of them could pay said mess any of their attention, too far gone to pick up on anything but the feeling of Loki’s cock forcing (y/n) closer to the edge.

Loki was frantic, reaching for her legs to push them to her chest, allowing him to fuck her even deeper, drawing moans from her that were torn between sobs and gasps, unable to voice out the pleasure he made her feel, thumping through her veins. He could stay buried inside of her for hours on end, high on the sounds she produced, on the way her body loved to react to his touch, she was his all, the one he’d die for.

With every passing second (y/n) felt the coil inside of her growing tighter, about to snap, about to let go as he reached for the last ice cube, pressing it against her swollen clit. Her bundle of nerves pulsed against the ice, groaning as Loki moved it in circular motions, pushing her over the edge without another warning.

His piercing eyes kept staring down on her, watching her fall apart with a smirk tugging on his lips, letting go of her seconds before he could follow, releasing himself on her trembling body. Neither of them dared to move, allowing her to relax, to catch her breath before he slowly reached for her, picking his girlfriend up to carry her towards the shower.

“A cold shower may help you, but I can’t make any promises that I’ll be able to stop touching you.” Loki murmured his words against her lips, drawing her in for a kiss after a small “Don’t you ever stop touching me” left (y/n).

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You… (Part 2.5)

YouTuber! Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warning⚠️: mild cursing, anxiety, overthinking

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

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Y/N’s POV

I rolled out of bed when I heard my alarm go off. I’ve had a motivation block lately (don’t ask me where I came up with that). Some days I just don’t have the energy to get in front of a camera because that said energy gets sucked out from work. Work can be a pain in the ass sometimes, however it brings in money that pays bills even helps with the channel. When I first started the channel, I didn’t have a lot of equipment. I started off with the bare minimum with the money I had leftover from paying bills. Once I had the starting equipment like a microphone, headphones, camera, etc., then I had to come up with the channel name. I ended up with y/c/n because it sounded like me. I knew from the start that I wouldn’t get a lot of views, still that didn’t help my anxiety any.

I try not to let things get to me, though it can be hard when you constantly don’t feel like you’re good enough. Anxiety and overthinking can make a person feel like that, even in situations that have nothing to do with you, yet you still worry about things you can’t control. I started getting ready for work, already dreading going in. Hoping that maybe today would be an easy day.

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It wasn’t an easy day, it was actually the worst really. I am actually glad it’s the weekend though. I’ll have to rest up before I start up a new video. I’ve gotten into the routine of posting at least one to two videos a week (three if I’m feeling frisky). That way I can have time to go in and make edits of what I’ve recorded. I learned how to get a little creative with my videos over time, especially when I started moving my hands around when I’m talking. ‘You mean when you start rambling about a topic for hours?’ I hear my inner thoughts say.

I decided to take the rest of the day to relax since I have been running around all day at work. ‘I’ll just start filming tomorrow. That way I’m rested up from this hectic week and can be productive these next couple of days.’ I tell myself.

The Following Day

Taking a sip of my freshly brewed coffee, I hummed in delight. I took in my surroundings now that I have some caffeine in my system. It was a beautiful day outside. Feeling the morning breeze blow through the air ruffling the trees. Being able to sit on the back porch and take in the scenery with a cup of coffee in your hand makes everything feel simpler. Easier. Just for a moment.

I knew today would be a little busy for me but that’s what happens when you decide to make a YouTube reaction channel, especially when it’s about K-Pop. I had recently seen where I’ve now reached over 300K followers on YouTube. I need to make sure I mention that in my video. I didn’t do it once and the fans didn’t like that, not that I didn’t want to do it. I just didn’t pay it any attention. If I did that would really make my anxiety level go up and I don’t need that.

After finishing my coffee, I decided to go ahead and get started on making some new videos. I pulled my computer and monitors up, making sure that my microphone and headphones were up and ready to go. The last thing being my camera. Checking my monitor to make sure I have it positioned where I want it and that my main screen, where I show what I’m watching, is up as well. Once everything is to my liking, I take a deep breath and think about something that makes me happy to brighten up my mood. Clicking the record button, counting to three, I start my intro.

“Good Morning Lovelies! How are y’all doing this morning?” Taking a pause, I start again. “I hope you’re all doing well. Eating well, sleeping well, and going outside to enjoy the weather. It’s pretty outside today. I decided I’d have my morning coffee out there. Maybe next time I’ll film a little video for y’all, I’d think you’d enjoy it as well. Anyways before I get off track, today we are going to be watching the newest SKZ Code that came out recently. I always wait in case there’s a part two. So that way I can watch it back to back and not wait for the second part to come out. I believe most of you know this by now, though we also have new followers who don’t know that. Now I’m getting off track, haha. I can’t help it y’all, you know this. Okay! Let’s get started before I talk your ear off.” I smile looking at my main monitor that holds my videos for the day. I write down on my sticky notes nearby about the 300K followers so that way I don’t forget. I play the videos that I prepared for the day, laughing my ass off at the boys being silly. Occasionally wiping a stray tear from laughing so hard. Stopping to talk about my favorite parts or having to go back and rewatch a part just to laugh twice as hard as the first time.

Towards the end I look down at the sticky note I prepared. Getting ready to end the video I tell myself what I need to say. “Well, that’s it for the video today! I hope enjoyed it as much as I did, but before I let you go I have some thing I need to say. This channel just hit the 300K subscribers within this past week!! I’m so happy that people love watching Stray Kids as much as I do. I do more than just Stray Kids on here, but my Stray Kids videos get way more views than the others. I don’t like being biased to just one group but Stray Kids has always been the closest to my heart and I know my fellow Stays know that as well. And to Stray Kids if you ever see this, I hope you know just how much we love and appreciate everything that you do.” I smile at the camera. “Thank you everyone for supporting me and continuing to support me. Until then I will see you in the next video.” I do a two finger salute to the camera. “Bye!”

(A/N: Hi everyone! So I tried to get the whole part 2 together but I couldn’t figure out how to at more text under the pictures so I just made a second post to it. If anyone knows how I could do that please let me know because there might be more coming. Anyways thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!)

[luvzshy]

Can you do another Hailee X reader where the reader has depression and falls into a depression episode and has none motivation and can’t get out of bed and Hailee helps her

Just a Little Sunshine

The gray light filtering through the curtains barely illuminated the room. You lay cocooned in the comforter, a fortress against the world outside. The weight on your chest felt like a thousand bricks, suffocating any thoughts of getting out of bed. Motivation? It felt like a distant memory, one you couldn’t quite grasp.

You heard the front door open and close, a familiar sound that brought a flicker of warmth to your heart. Hailee was home. The sound of her footsteps padded through the living room, followed by a brief rustle as she set her things down. You wished you could muster the energy to greet her, but instead, you sunk deeper into the sheets.

“Hey, love?” Hailee called softly, her voice echoing through the quiet apartment. “I’m back! How was your day?”

You wanted to respond, to tell her the truth, but the words stuck in your throat. You could only manage a faint mumble that you hoped she wouldn’t hear. The silence that followed was heavy, but then you heard her footsteps approaching your bedroom.

The door creaked open, and Hailee peeked inside, concern etched across her face as her eyes met yours. “Oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, stepping into the room. She could see the shadows beneath your eyes and the way your skin seemed to lose its glow. “You okay?”

You shook your head slightly, burying it further into the pillow. Hailee sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress sinking under her weight. “Can I come in?”

A slight nod was all you managed. Hailee slipped under the covers, wrapping an arm around you, her warmth slowly seeping into your skin. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” she said gently. “But I’m here. I’m right here with you.”

The tenderness in her voice stirred something within you—a mix of comfort and guilt. You hated that she had to see you like this, that your darkness sometimes clouded the light you shared.

After a few moments, you finally spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t get out of bed, Hailee. I don’t want to do anything.”

“It’s okay,” she replied, brushing your hair away from your face. “You don’t have to do anything right now. Just breathe. Just be.”

Her soothing presence wrapped around you like a warm blanket. You closed your eyes, letting yourself lean into her shoulder, the familiar scent of her perfume calming you. “I’m sorry…” you muttered, feeling tears well up.

“Don’t be sorry,” Hailee said softly, her fingers tracing gentle patterns on your arm. “You don’t have to apologize for how you feel. I want to help. Just tell me what you need.”

You took a shaky breath, feeling the tears finally escape and spill onto your cheeks. “I don’t know how to feel better,” you admitted, your voice cracking. “I feel stuck.”

Hailee tightened her hold on you, her heartbeat steady and reassuring against your side. “Then let’s take it one step at a time. How about we just stay here together? We don’t need to rush into anything. I’ll be your sunshine, okay?”

You managed a small, grateful smile through your tears. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Yes, you do,” she insisted, her gaze unwavering. “You deserve all the love and support in the world, especially from me. You’re not alone in this.”

The sincerity in her voice cut through the fog, and you found a small bit of comfort in her words. “Just… stay with me for a little while?”

“Always,” she promised, pulling you closer. The weight of your emotions still loomed, but having Hailee by your side made it feel a little lighter.

As the minutes turned into hours, you stayed wrapped in her embrace, allowing the warmth of her presence to seep into the cracks of your heart. She filled the silence with gentle hums of your favorite songs, her voice soothing and soft like a lullaby. You closed your eyes, letting her rhythm ease the storm inside you.

“Can I make us some tea?” she offered after a while. “Maybe a little snack? I think some food might help.”

You hesitated, the thought of moving feeling overwhelming, but the kindness in her eyes encouraged you. “Okay,” you finally replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “That would be nice.”

“Great! Just give me a sec,” she said, brushing her lips against your forehead before sliding out of bed. You watched her go, feeling a bit of hope flicker in your chest. Maybe today wasn’t a complete loss.

When she returned, she brought a tray with steaming mugs of tea and a plate of your favorite cookies. She set it down beside you, climbing back into bed. “Here you go,” she said with a bright smile. “Just a little something to help.”

You sat up, your heart warming at her thoughtfulness. As you sipped the tea, its warmth spread through you, and you felt a bit more present. Hailee handed you a cookie, her smile infectious.

“See? We’re taking baby steps,” she said cheerfully. “One cookie at a time.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound surprising you. The weight of your depression didn’t vanish, but for the moment, you felt a little lighter, a little less alone.

“Thank you, Hailee,” you said, sincerity dripping from your words. “For everything.”

[tamrielf]

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

[soupbabe]

Rage Room (Carne x Reader)

Carne invites you to spend the afternoon with him.

Hiii sorry it's been like. A year since I've written anything 😭 I've been in the trenches for months and barely had the motivation to write. But Carne has turned into somewhat of a comfort character for me, so I wanted to do something with him.

You didn't know Carne that well.

Sure, you've seen him around, tried to spark some small talk, but nothing ever stuck. He only ever gave you a smile and then he'd be gone. He was an enigma among your teammates; he'd never speak a word, to your knowledge he never went on solo missions, yet the boss deemed him important enough to stick around.

That's what made it all surprising when he invited you to spend the afternoon with him.

You couldn't help but chuckle a little as you read the letter stuck to your office door. It was a little ominous, the letter only detailing a time and address was marked out in scratchy handwriting. The only thing that tipped off the author was Carne's name written in the corner. In retrospect, it was something to expect from Carne. He couldn't just send a text and he'd never say anything aloud, but he'd always take the time to write out a small note if he needed something.

You showed up 30 minutes early to find yourself in an abandoned factory. It felt like a stereotypical horror setting: boarded up windows, faded graffiti on the walls, feral cats guarding the alleyways. Everything screamed "you're going to get murdered." Though you knew better, working around Cioccolata and Secco always made you on edge and prepare for the worst. "Hello?" You cautiously call out, squinting through the darkness.

The room was empty, only the skeletons of machinery and glass littering the area. Ahead of you though, displayed the silhouette of Carne. Walking up to him, you can see his features through the light cracks in the broken windows. His soft features looking just as relieved to see you as you are to see him. His black, glossy lips hold a small smile as he guides you to a specific pile of broken... everything.

"What's all this for?" You tried to ask him. But in usual Carne fashion, he just stares at you in response. The two of you shared a brief silence before he bent down to pick up a large shard of glass and threw it harshly against the wall. While the sudden display caused you to jump and curse at him, it just made him smile wider. "Is this what you called me over for? To watch you break shit?" You huff, a bit flustered by the sudden outburst. Carne just shrugs and uses his gloved hand to dig around and find a- mostly in tact- beer bottle. Handing it to you, he gestures to the wall.

A silent dare for you to try it, a plead to spend the afternoon breaking shit with him.

The gesture made you smile as you took the bottle from his hands. With a grunt, you smashed the bottle to the floor, watching the green glass scatter and break all around you and Carne. You took a deep breath, feeling some unknown weight lift from your shoulders. "Shit..that felt good." You murmur as your coworker began smashing up everything he could get his hands on.

He'd punch the walls, attempt to rip the machines apart and smash them on the ground, everything he got his hands on would be in pieces once he was done with it. Carne's energy was infectious as you followed his lead, using the opportunity to release all the stress that has been pent up from over the years. With every grunt, scream, foul mouth insult at everyone who's ever hurt you, you were met with applause and approval from Carne.

Carne is an observant man, and he sniff out pent up rage from a mile away. You still don't know much about Carne, but it doesn't matter. All you know is that you found a new friend to break shit with.

[vai3-writes]

Hey! Your match up is complete! @inbetweentojiandshiu

Barely proofread and awful punctuation, my apologies for any mistakes!

Sorry for any mistakes - I don't have anger issues myself and I am going off of information on the internet

English is not my native language

Any critique is greatly appreciated :)

word count ~ 1k

possible tw - /

And it's..

Yuji Itadori !!

While not the most common pair, INFP - ESFJ has the potential for a deeply fulfilling and transformative relationship between both partners. Your differences can be a catalyst for growth.

As an INFP, you're the Mediator, and your MBTI is described as a poetic, kind, and altruistic individual who strives for authenticity and a deep connection. Yujis' MBTI is ESFJ - The Consul is very caring, social, and eager to help.

You have similar motivations and comparable approach to many situations in life, resulting in the capability to build a very strong and admirable bond.

On the zodiac wheel, Virgo and Pisces are on opposite sides of each other - this relationship is sometimes described as being "sister signs." This dynamic suggests that they are complete opposites, yet together, they achieve a harmonious balance. They challenge one another to grow and learn, fostering continuous development and understanding. You provide each other with what the other person is lacking, making you an amazing duo that compliments one another.

I imagine a vibrant dynamic between the two of you. Yuji is a talkative and open-minded individual with an easygoing nature. You two would get close through Yuji, finding you intriguing and deciding to talk to you more. Your relationship would likely follow a "friends to lovers" trope. It's hard not to enjoy being around Yuji through his presence with his extroverted and positive personality, which would make it effortless for you to warm up to him. He's the kind of person who brings energy and enthusiasm to any situation. He finds your support and loyalty to your loved ones very endearing, yet it irks him when he sees you give undeserving people multiple chances, he would start talking you out of it later on.

Wanting someone authentic and willing to listen to you is not a problem with Yuji, he's honest and not the type of person to "lead someone on," anything you tell him is 1. confidential and 2. remembered by him, in case said thing is something you like/dislike, feel uncomfortable with, etc.

Whenever he sees you disregarding yourself to help someone else he would confront you about it, telling you that you should be your own focus, and can't make everyone like you. You weren't put on this world for that.

I headcanon Yuji as fairly clingy, so whenever you're together, he's always holding your hand, locking arms, leaning on you, etc. You're gonna have to tell him when you don't feel like it, but he doesn't mind - happy that you trust him enough to just tell him. He finds it funny how you're so chaotic yet so tidy at the same time, I think he's very similar to you in that aspect.

Yuji is supportive of anything you do and finds you wanting to be a voice actor really cool, he asks you to repeat certain things his favorite characters say just because he finds it endearing. He's fascinated by all of your musical skills, especially by your singing. His favorite activity became dragging you to karaoke clubs just because he likes hearing you sing. As I already mentioned, Yuji is incredibly open-minded, so count him in on any activity you want to do. Cosplay? He's in! Playing games together? The consoles already on! Listening to music? Sure, let's go!

To continue on that point, he's ready to do anything - as long as it's with you, but I do imagine that he really likes going to fairs or theme parks, winning you some random plushie you want, and dragging you on rides.

Arguments with Yuji aren't very common, but if they do occur, I can imagine Yuji getting somewhat emotional too, he will try and clear it up immediately because he tends to act like it never happened if he doesn't do so.

I can't see Yuji only showing his love in one way, I think he does a bit of every love language there is, inviting you to go out, gifts, pda, etc. Every time you do something something for him, he feels like he falls for you 1000x again.

I think Yuji doesn't like random silences either, he probably starts rambling himself, so he finds it cute when you do the same. He finds your dislikes very relatable and shares similar views with you on those things. Loves hearing you speak Italian, he finds it really charming and learns some phrases to impress you.

Now, last but not least coming to speak about appearance! While we all know the famous „I like a tall woman with a nice big ass“ scene, I‘m quite confident that Yuji isn‘t superficial. He loves your long nails and trust he wants to pay for them!! Your hair is one of his fav things about you - appearance-wise. He finds it gorgeous.

• headcanons

-

Going to a big amusement park that just opened up and getting a bunch of delicious fair food. You, noticing a cute plushie that you really like and stare at it for a second longer than you usually would. So naturally, Yuji is off to win it for you, and even with the rigged game he manages to get it!!

-

After you mention to Yuji that you‘d like to try baking together he suddenly gets the appeal that your idea has. Yet the only problem is - he can’t bake either... But that‘s not a problem! He finds the cutest baking workshop in a cafe, which you even went to once. Next thing you know, you’re baking bento cakes together!!

-

Playing a multiplayer game with Yuji, sitting beside each other as it jumps to a dialogue in which the villain is speaking. Yuji giggling to himself before begging you to repeat what the character just said. He just loves it so much when you repeat the deep and gloomy rumble of the villain's voice with your own- not so villain-esque one.

-

I procrastinated way too much while writing this my god

Anyway hope you enjoy lol

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (29/12/24)

Like I said last week there's barely anything this time. Between the anime season ending and magazines being on break for the holidays there wasn't a lot going on this week

(I was gonna yap a bit about stuff here but it turned out a lot longer than I originally planned so I put it under the cut lol)

Since I didn't end up talking about any of the series above this time, instead I wanted to look at this year as a whole

Can't talk much about manga since stuff rarely starts and ends on the same year unless it gets axed, but I have to mention MHA and JJK ending ofc. I was with MHA since basically the start (chap 4), and while I didn't read it (or anything else tbf) for a few years, I caught up a while before it ended, it still felt unreal to see a series that I kept up for 10 years end. As of JJK, I caught up 1 year before it ended, tho in my head it was less time. It had many flaws yes, but it has one my favourite power systems I've seen in any series and the fights were always super cool and easy to follow, I had an absolute blast reading it. I hope I can get to the anime eventually As for axed series, I was very sad seeing MamaYuyu go. The art was great and the paneling was amazing so it was a shame to see it go early (tho 34 chaps is still p good). Really hope to see the artist return sooner rather than later

As for anime, I'm pretty proud of myself. Last year I watched a total of 10 shows (11 if you count the Fate special). This year I watched a whole 29! That's basically triple so that's crazy. It might not seem like a big deal but before I started watching stuff seasonally again last year, the last time I had watched any anime was in 2019 when I watched the broly movie in theaters and finished Jojo P5 and the granblue anime that I had pending with only a handful of eps. Before that, the last time I watched anything seasonal was in spring 2018. If I recall, that's around the time I went to uni and I was way too depressed to anything so I didn't read or watch anything for ages oofies. I don't remember everything that's coming next year, but I'm hoping there's a lot of good shows once again so I can match this year or even pass it

The only thing I would've changed about this year would've been doing more stuff with my backlog. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to catch up with, like the Blue Exorcist manga which I mentioned multiples times, or stuff I'd like to go back to finish that I left hanging, Shokugeki and Dr.Stone manga stand out the most. Not to mention various anime I missed over the years like the new Uma seasons or BtR. But between all the stuff I'm already watching and reading, working and trying to do other stuff in my free time I find it hard to find the energy or motivation to go through the backlog. I know that I just need a little push to get over the initial inertia and then I'll be fine (for each individual thing) but it just hasn't happened yet. Here's hoping I can find the time and will to do that in this coming year 👍

[thezolblade]

rl and fandom update

Fatigue's been getting better in the last year or so, with at least one cause identified. Since I've gone from a few years of barely managing much, to gradually starting to get a bit more energy to walk around for a few hours per day, I keep trying to do things and tiring myself out, and then napping and zoning out rather than getting other things done too.

Switched my laptop and the old family computer over to linux, to avoid forced copilot on one, and make the other usable again after windows 8 end of life. I may have lost some files despite my best efforts. Backing things up and following the process took a lot of time despite the process being as straightforward as it could be, and I love linux but I'm still picking it up. I wish I'd had that time for other things when there was so much else going on. Hate windows so much for forcing all that bullshit, but at least I've gotten rid of it now.

Goal next year is to retain more energy until the evenings so I can really get back to fun things that require focus. Fandom's been partly on the backburner; on good weeks I've managed to focus on short projects, but I haven't been able to maintain a focus on long projects. The list of games/books/shows/writing that I want to get back to feels motivating, like I'm reminding myself that whenever I have any time, there are still lots of things where I can feel some enthusiasm, even if I can't get through them all quickly like a to-do list. Gathering thoughts on the main ones:

Disco Elysium

When I played it in 2019, it was really good, but parts of it were slightly too much in a grim way, like the death notice; I remember thinking that I wanted to replay, but I needed a gap first.

Heard about the Sacred and Terrible Air fantranslation this year and took that as a cue to replay, and this time it's been fantastic. Knowing what's coming takes some of the bite out of the rough parts, along with getting invested enough to want to explore all the dialogue options to see the characters from all angles. Kim gets so sassy and creative when Harry fucks up. The playthroughs are going slowly but I've seen almost everything that I kept getting spoiled on when I slipped into reading fic earlier in the year. I've made it through a few chapters of the book pdf, it's heavy going though. To be continued.

FFVII

Picked up the reboot, it feels odd to be so late to the party with my fave game. To play when I have the energy for sitting up with the steam deck, rather than resting with something turn-based open on a laptop.

TMA

So so many wips that I want to finish, but I'm still reeling from getting put off from season 4 onwards. That got pretty tangled with pandemic stress, at the same time it was getting unfun and I couldn't get another interest to catch alight the same way to take my mind off things. The wip files are long enough I need a bit of focus back to tackle them.

Now the TMP sequel's out too, and I lost all interest when I found out that Jonah Magnus is still a character, despite the show sounding at first like a universe where he was killed off for real and other characters actually, finally, get to drive the plot with their own character arcs in a cathartic way, instead of everyone just rattling around where they're trapped the whole time. I'll probably read a summary at some point, as it does stuff with characters from TMA, and falling out of date with the canon really shows in fanworks. Don't feel like it yet.

Golden Sun

Every few years I've gone back the to longfic WIP that's still on fanfic.net and spent a few weeks trying to reread/edit/get past the block point, before getting tired out and taking a break from it again.

Lately I'm thinking, I always had point A at the start and point C at the end planned out, but getting there with the long detour through point B, well, that's the part where I'm stuck, and where a lot of the old writing that makes me wince is, which I keep changing without quite being happy with it, and which I can't cut for the way the plot hangs together. So maybe I should just cut out the side plot that takes up most of point B, even though what's posted is all setup so far and it was going to be the payoff next, and there are parts I really like. It'd make the fic much shorter, to go straight from points A to C; chapter 4 or 5 would move on to one or two chapters of wrapping things up, in a relatively quick and easy way for the characters. No big parts for Sheba and Ivan, no flashbasks to the heroes' history from Sheba's pov. I probably won't manage to finish it otherwise, so it's worth a try. Need to wait until I have some time off work to take a run at it.

PMMM

I still need to watch magia record, and read some of the comics... It's been too long since I've rewatched my fave show.

Harvest Moon / Rune Factory / Stardew Valley / Pokemon / indie relaxing games

Relaxation. Gotta pick them up again before I forget where I was up to.

Slay the Pricess

Play the Pristine Cut, and try the Disco Elysium crossover mod.

Fallen London

Nice to have a browser game on my phone. I keep putting off progress with the stories that'll shed some light on the lore, for a better day. Intriguing world anyway.

Omori, Deltarune, Dredge

Play more when my sister visits, and when she's not tired out from work too. Good to have some shared activities.

Fire Emblem 3 Houses

Finish the last route... I don't have to replay the shared chapters again at this point, just finish the blue route...

Saiyuki

See how many more of the comics are out in English than, uh, more than 10 years ago.

Avatar last airbender & korra

Catch up with the comics.

Arcane

Almost through season 2, TV evenings with my parents. Pretty effects. Kinda makes me want to know more, but I don't think I'll ever play league of legends. Maybe something to expore via youtube someday.

Star Trek

I watched ToS with my parents last year. Next, time to watch all the next gen episodes that I somehow never caught when it was on TV growing up, even though watching whatever was on meant I saw some episodes 2 or 3 times. And there's that new short film going around.

[robotlesbianjavert]

Bro what happened to AFO he used to be scary and deserving respect. Now he’s a clown and probably Shigaraki’s grandpa. All Might’s arc too, the iron suit felt last minute af.

EVERYONE REMEMBER KAMINO. THE KAMINO ARC. WHERE ALL FOR ONE'S VERY PRESENCE GAVE THE STUDENTS PANIC ATTACKS. @stillness-in-green is right to rag on his big move being to bulk up his ridiculous arm for ridiculous punches it was a sign of things to come.

like the thing is. villain decay is a real phenomenon. it's one thing to present a villain as intimidating and threatening. it's another thing to actually follow through on that intimidation and threat factor. we can get told that All For One is an evil genius, but horikoshi himself is not an evil genius and will have understandable trouble tapping into that. not to mention life for a mangaka is hard, and maintaining the energy needed for tight, intense, in-depth characterization can be difficult for every aspect of a narrative, your big bad least of all.

addtionally, a lot of All For One's early allure also existed in a light touch and sparse appearances. he can retain an air of mystery, we have more room to speculate about his motivations and relationships, he made for an intriguing foil to how all might seemingly deconstructed certain tenets of superhero stories. once AFO is on the front line in the last act, we lose all of that.

but above all of that. and i actually mentioned this with my friends earlier today. is that i fully believe that All For One was always a character in flux, and that horikoshi never had a solid idea of what he was going to do with him.

obviously we know that horikoshi's ideas for the plot and the endgame have shifted a lot over the years. most notably, the way the story keeps being so much longer than he intended. or how the heroes rising movie riffed elements of one idea for an ending. and i guess recently it was revealed that he originally intended for endeavour to die in the PFL/Jakku battle, but changed his mind while working on the high-end battle. this is pretty expected with manga - you can have a general plan going in, but unless you're crazy disciplined a lot of things are going to be by the seat of your pants. (conversely, there are story elements that horikoshi stubbornly clung to, like shouji having a big plot despite doing the bare minimum of set up to earn that big plot. but that's besides the point.)

All For One comes across to me like horikoshi's biggest question mark for his part in the storyline. i know a lot of people carry on like him possessing shigaraki was a no-brainer and the only way the plot was going to go, but i got the impression that horikoshi set it up so that he COULD do the possession plot if he found it necessary, but that he could also choose another, non-possession path if necessary (we must always hold his comments about best jeanist's quirk close). remember, a big theory was that instead of springing All For One out of prison, shigaraki would kill him and take his place as the true big bad. honestly, AFO chilling in jail for the second act left as an option for a lot of things that horikoshi COULD do, but also an obligation to do SOMETHING.

i got the same sense throughout the third act where horikoshi could (and did) just fall back on him being a Born Evil, Cause Of All Disaster plot device, but i felt like there were some vague hints and general leeway where he could have a deeper and more complex character, and a more meaningful relationship with his brother, if horikoshi wanted to pull thay trigger. he didn't! but he could have.

another piece in my "flux character" argument is the recent reveal that AFO and yoichi are actually twins. at no point prior to the story was this ever indicated - they were always just described as "big brother" and "little brother", with the obvious read of them having some years bt them. them being twins doesn't really come across as a big Twist, but a recontextualization that makes it "easier" (in the broadest sense possible) to sell AFO as Born Evil. because otherwise, horikoshi would have to decide on what AFO and his relationship with his parent(s) looked like before yoichi was born, and giving AFO any additional backstory beyond his possessiveness of yoichi and his greed over everything throws a wrench into that Born Evil character. i honestly think the twin thing is a retcon, rather than horikoshi's original intention, because it was just easier to write at the point of the story with whatever stress horikoshi is under.

and it's a shame! All For One might have lost a lot of threat in this last act, but he was funny, and there was potential to do more with him. it is what it is.

all might tho that was just dumb as hell. you expect me to believe he remembers enough of his students to recreate their quirks mechanically. i wish he died.

[iammiracl3]

Manifestation for Self-Love and Self-Confidence

It sounds cliche but the relationship we keep with ourselves is the foundation of everything in our lives. We do tremendous hardwork for our career, family, relationships and everything else in this world but we barely consider to take out time for ourselves. What defines our overall happiness? Have you ever thought about it? Seems you have not . It's nothing but the way you treat yourself,take care yourself,talk to yourself and feel about yourself . Isn't it simple? When you accept yourself truly and love the way you are you become your own best friend and you don't need anybody else's approval.Imagine yourself as a plant, when you water a plant ,take care of it , protect it then it blooms with colourful flowers. Same way when you keep a nurturing relationship with your own self,you become your best version. Although this is not a quick fix and it takes time but you can start building a relationship with yourself from now on.So what needs to be done? Simply start by making little changes in your daily life .

You can also follow things given below to get your best self.

-Speak politely with all. -Include self compassion. -Give priority to self care. -Setting a healthy boundary. -Stay grateful for everything. -Try to be patient and mindful.  -Appreciate your achievements. -Incorporate self reflection practice. -Never compare yourself with anyone. -Surround yourself with progressive people

Embracing self love through affirmations

When you embrace your true identity and love yourself you feel more confident, worthy and fulfilled. When you feel and visualize that you are worthy of everything good you start to absorb positive energy from your environment and this is the first step towards your self-love journey. Nobody in this world is perfect.Each and everything in this nature has something incomplete and that is the uniqueness and individuality of it. You need to embrace your flaws because each of us has something which we think is not up to our liking.So never feel small or bad because of little things,it's a part of everyone's life.You can nourish and cherish your soul so that it can make you strong.You can also practice self -love affirmations standing in front of a mirror looking into your eyes . We are giving some affirmations for your motivation, you can customize them accordingly:

“I feel gratitude for the abundance that I have in my current life and I am open to attract positivity in my life “

“I am extremely confident and ready for the challenges life will throw and I will take them as an opportunity to improve myself “

“I feel immense pleasure in each moment of my present life and I enjoy my life”

“I choose to create space for improvement and healing and I let go of all my worries”

From self doubt to self assurance

From where does this self-doubt comes? As a kid we never feel this emotion. Agree or not? Observe a child playing happily, eating something, Talking to someone or doing anything. Does the child have self- doubt? No! You know why?

Self- doubt arises from Fear. Fear of decision,fear of making long term choices or fear of choosing life's purpose or simply anything.We people drift from one thought to another without consciously thinking about what we want or where we are headed in our lives. This decisiveness occur because we don't get clear about our destination.So stop thinking that you are not capable or you are not good enough because it will only drag you in the darkness.Get up and make a routine for yourself.Make small goals and Once you achieve them write them in your journal.Write your good qualities and improve everyday because every single day of this life is as precious as you can think.

Using affirmation to boost self confidence 

Your mind is your remote control. Do you know that your mind has the capability to control anything that is happening inside your body. yes! you heard it right. Its all about how you perceive things so here are some affirmations which you can take as a motivation to boost your self confidence. Remember to practice them regularly and use the affirmations which are meaningful according to your life situation.

‘I truly believe that I have everything’

‘I believe that I am good enough to achieve success’

‘I choose to remain satisfied with my strengths and weaknesses’

‘I choose to accept whatever the universe gives me and I am worthy of it’

‘I feel contentment in my own company and I truly love myself’

‘I feel beautiful from inside out and I mean it’

‘I choose to attract abundance in each and every area of my life’

‘I am thankful to the universe for my present reality and I am working for my good’

Overcome self doubt with manifestation 

Overcoming your self doubt is a smooth process. You only need to follow some simple basic steps and will move towards your higher version. All you need to do is to practice self- compassion ; self-compassion is finding out your achievements and your good qualities, no matter if it is as small as your soft behaviour towards your friends and family. Find out your good things and the hard work that you do and this will help you to remove any negative thoughts that bothers you. Never compare yourself with others because you have your own unique values and you should cherish them. When any negative thought comes to your mind, first recognise that ,you can Also write that thought and you can analyse the source of that negativity .You can either remove that or make a distance with it.This way you can gradually make your self-doubts disappear.

Enhancing self love and confidence in daily life -

Instead of blaming your destiny or your past life you can take lessons from that and start a fresh new journey. To enhance self- love and confidence, You can engage yourself in the activities or hobbies that you like. You can appreciate your body image and accept yourself as you are .You can create a self- care regime by giving yourself a pamper session and going for a solo date with yourself. You can sit in nature spend time with your loved once and you can also listen to other people's talk because with that you can realise and feel that everyone has something going  in their life. In order to boost your self- confidence you can practice meditation, regular exercise and taking small challenges. Self love is not only about spending on expensive things but it is all about feeling satisfied with the smallest things of your life.

[mk-vasy]

Healing Rx

Author here. So this is a little passion project I have decided to start. It's realistic fiction so this is new to me. But it's helping me and I figured it would probably help some of you. So read it if you want. It is my first swing at getting back into writing so bare with me on style and technique I'll get back into it. Enjoy.

One step after the other. That’s all it really is. I repeated as I nervously wrapped my hands around the steering wheel. I wasn’t going anywhere; I had been in park for over 15 minutes. I had arrived an hour early for this exact reason. This dreaded last step. Turning off the car, grabbing my stuff, and walking into the office. If this was any other office on any other day, I probably could have done it, but it was like I was frozen. Like these next few steps were the start of a marathon.

“You wanted this. You called them. Just one step after the other,” I said out loud this time.

It was usually how I overcame these frozen spells. When my brain got too overwhelmed, and I shut down the auxiliary power. Which was the power to my mouth, arms, and legs usually. My phone dinged, breaking the imaginary spell I had cast over myself.

You’re stalling. The text bubble read.

That really got me going. I picked up my phone and replied. I can’t believe you are watching my location right now.

I felt you would sit in the parking lot the whole time.

You’re unbelievable.

And you are predictable.

Using my arms and fingers to type made powering the rest of my body up much more manageable. I shook out my legs and rolled my neck. Alright, all cylinders were firing. Before letting my brain catch up with my feet, I clicked the car off and pushed open the door. This usually happened; I had to take manual override control over my body. My brain shut off and pulled itself away, leaving the world a little fuzzy around the edges.

That’s why you are doing this. A voice whispered in my head.

My phone dinged again as I pushed through the first door.

I believe in you; just follow their lead. If you can’t find the words, they will get the ball rolling.

I smiled. He always found a way to encourage me. He never forced me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with, but he always gave me an encouraging push—the push I always seemed to need. I walked into the office, and there was a nice lady sitting in the window.

“Hi, welcome to Northwest Regional Health Clinic. How may I help you?” She smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. It was 8 a.m. on a Thursday, and I didn’t really blame her.

“Yes, I have an appointment with Rachel?” I asked.

“Rachel?” She said, at first, a little confused as she scanned her computer. “Oh yes, you mean Dr. Faust, our psychiatrist.” She said a little bit too loud for my liking.

I wasn’t ashamed of therapy or anything; I just didn’t think the whole world needed to know about it. I did a scan of the lobby, and nobody else was there. It wasn't like the world as a whole would even care if I was going to therapy.

“Okay, I have some paperwork you have to fill out, and then she’ll come get you when she is ready.” She handed me a small dictionary of paperwork and a clip board.

I sat down and mindlessly started filtering through the papers. Checking yes and no, twirling the faded flower pen between my fingers, trying to keep my throat from rising in my chest. How do you even answer some of these questions? Do you feel like you need more motivation and energy for your hobbies? I don’t know. It depends on the day, and how am I even supposed to rate that on a scale from 1 to 5? Scales are such arbitrary numbers. Sometimes, I don’t have the energy to get out of bed; other days, I can do 50 million things. It’s all conditional. I can’t write that all down. She’ll never read any of that; if she does, she will think I’m crazy. Honestly, though, aren’t I a little crazy? Otherwise, why would I be here?

My phone dinged, halting the swarming thoughts that clouded my vision and the back of my throat.

I see you made it inside.

She will think you are a stalker when I tell her about you.

I’m not a stalker; I just have a vested interest in your safety. Besides, I never check your location without telling you. You asked me to give you some words of encouragement. How are we feeling?

Nauseous and dizzy.

You’re doing great.

“Natalie?” A woman’s voice cut through the lobby like a knife.

God, no one's voice cuts through a room like a knife. Don’t be so dramatic.

I stood up, pushing the paperwork together. I managed to finish some of it, but I may have time during the appointment to finish it. The woman standing at the door must have been Rachel. Over the phone, she had insisted I call her that. She wore comfy-looking black slacks; they looked like they might have been from Lulu, with a maroon blouse and straight blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail. She was probably in her late 30s based on the wrinkles peeking around her eyes as she smiled and a few wisps of white hair around her ears. She was sharp and pretty. If her smile didn’t fill the whole room and reached her light blue eyes, I would have been intimidated. But she seemed warm.

“Don’t even worry about the paperwork, dear. We just give it to you to buy me some time between sessions.” She brushed away the papers as I tried to give them to her.

“Okay,” I said, but my voice sounded out of breath like a helium balloon trying to stay aloft.

She led me through a maze of hallways until we reached her door. I was worried we would be in a check-up room, not with the table or anything, but with the same vibe. Light blue walls, faded health posters, and maybe a motivational quote. When she opened the door, I was pleased I was wrong. It was an office space, but the lights were dimmed, and the ceiling was rimmed with fairy lights. They gave off a warm yellow glow instead of the harsh white light from the hallways. The walls had nature tapestries, and a candle burned, making the room smell like lavender. A plush couch was on the wall with a basket of fidget toys and pillows next to it. I had a feeling that was where I was supposed to sit. The whole room was very calming as if slipping into a soft dream. Rachel sat in an office chair and swiveled it around to face me. We were close enough that I felt like I could connect with her but also far enough to breathe my own air.

“This is really nice,” I commented.

She smiled again, and I marveled at how it changed her whole face. It reached well through her eyes and into mine. It was genuine. “Do you always do that?” she asked.

“Do what?”

“Read people so intently.” She answered.

I sat back; wow, no hellos or small talk. We were getting right into this. “Um, I guess so. Don’t we all?”

“Sure, but I have a feeling you do a little bit more than that,” she said. "You are looking at me the same way people look at puzzles. What are you looking for?”

What was I looking for? I thought back to first walking in the door and met the receptionist-

“Think out loud.” She said.

“Okay. When I met your receptionist, she said hi and gave me a little greeting. She smiled at me, and I could see the smile was forced. It didn’t go all the way to her eyes. The eyes are always a giveaway. I can always tell if someone can be trusted by their eyes. It sounds melodramatic, I know, but I swear I am always right about these things. I can tell right away whether or not a person is a good person or not.” I let the words tumble out of my mouth.

She tilted her head from side to side while nodding. “I’m sure you can. So, was she a good person or not?”

“Who?”

“Our receptionist.”

“Oh, she was just tired; she seems safe enough,” I said.

Rachel jotted a few things down before speaking again. “Alright, I noticed two things when you were talking. The words trust and safe came up. So, when you are analyzing these microexpressions, your brain is looking for trust and safety, which is normal. Based on the fact you said you are always right about these things, it means you do this a lot. Is this analyzing trick something you do with just new people or every-”

“Everybody, all the time,” I said quickly. “Every conversation and interaction, with my friends, coworkers, and family members. I can usually tell how they are feeling from the first few sentences out of their mouths. Then, I can tailor my responses and actions around those feelings.”

She was writing as I was talking and didn’t look up from her paper when she spoke. “That sounds tiring.”

I leaned back on the couch and nodded. “Yeah, I guess it really is.”