#i guess? should i tag it? what the hell i will

[navybrat817]

Hit to the Head

Pairing: Thunderbolts!Bucky Barnes x Nurse!Female Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn't think he needs medical attention after a hit to the head, but he's glad he met you.

Word Count: Over 3k

Warnings: Meet cute (of sorts?), possible concussion, mention of HYRDA, team dynamic, humor, Bucky's POV, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?) and he's smitten.

A/N: A new AU (as if I need more) inspired by this wonderful nonnie. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @mumbles411 (and thanks for the assurance on the medical discussion), but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky didn't need medical attention. That was what he told himself, and he said the same thing to the team after he took a hard hit to the head. But he made the mistake of telling Bob that he admittedly felt a little dizzy, who then told Yelena, who then demanded that he go to the hospital. Not only did she demand that he go, they all went and were currently hanging out in the lobby to make sure he was okay. 

It was a sweet gesture, if not a wasted one. 

He took a hit to the head. So what? He experienced much worse when it came to his head and he was a super soldier for God's sake, so he’d heal just fine. It was a bit cocky to think like that but others needed help more than he did and he wasn't in the mood for anyone to inspect him or ask questions. 

At least he wasn't until he saw your face. 

“Hi,” you smiled, pulling back the curtain to give him some privacy. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

He opened his mouth to say he hadn't waited long at all, but no sound came out. Thank God he wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor because it would've picked up on the accelerated rate when you smiled at him again. He almost forgot to breathe before his body reminded him that he needed oxygen. No one should look as beautiful as you in medical scrubs or under the harsh hospital lighting. He wondered if he looked okay despite the blood and dirt on his clothes. 

Wait, why did it matter what he looked like? He wasn't there to flirt with or impress you. There was no reason for him to sit up straighter or flex his right arm. There sure as hell wasn't any reason to run his fingers through his hair to get the tangles out. It was a hospital visit, not a date. 

You wore a name tag, but introduced yourself before taking a look at his chart. “I understand you took a pretty hard hit to the head, Mr. Barnes.”

His voice came out huskier than he anticipated when he said, “Call me Bucky.” Clearing his throat he added, “If you consider a slab of concrete to the head hard, then yeah, but at least my head didn't split open.”

He felt the need to assure you he was fine when concern crossed your beautiful features. “I’m very thankful your head didn't split open, Bucky.” He liked the way you said his name. “But a concrete slab to the head is no joke.”

“You should see the other guy,” he joked, making you giggle. Was he funny or were you only laughing for his benefit? “But seeing the other guy wouldn't matter anyway since you won't let me leave without an exam,” he guessed. Even if he didn't believe he needed one. 

It wasn't just his belief that he was fine. Most didn't know it, but every now and then hospitals made him feel like he was back at HYDRA, ready to be strapped to a chair to await his next form of torture or to be experimented on. He wouldn't say he was afraid, but there was discomfort. Enough to make it feel like the walls were slowly closing in. 

With a deep breath he thought instead of his wonderful treatment in Wakanda and reminded himself that he was safe, free. It helped the next breath come easier. He then looked at your face where he only saw concern and compassion. You weren't going to hurt him. You were there to help. 

“Well, I wouldn't be a very good nurse if I just let you walk out, would I?” you gently smiled. 

He managed a smile for you because you weren't just doing your job. You also seemed kind. “I guess not.”

He could get through a simple exam. 

Bucky inhaled, detecting a hint of something sweet under the sterile surroundings as you checked his heart beat. It was so subtle that he wouldn't have been able to pick up on it if it weren't for his heightened senses. He almost leaned into you before you pulled away, and thank God for that. Would he have been able to blame it on his head if he did?

“I don't have a concussion,” he blurted out. 

“Is that right?” He swore there was amusement in your tone when you shone a light in each of his eyes. “I imagine you're somewhat familiar with them in your line of work.”

“You can say that,” he said. He had his fair share of hits to the head, and helped his teammates get through injuries. “No nausea, no stiffness or imbalance.”

He didn't mention the dizziness since he didn't want to stay longer than he needed to. 

“Any issues with your memory?” you asked. 

He smirked a little. “That's a bit of a loaded question.”

“Can you tell me what day it is and what hospital you're at?” you asked. 

He answered the questions with ease. He also spelled “world” backwards when you asked him to. “See? I’m fine,” he said. 

“Your vitals are normal. Pupils reactive. But-”

“Look, I appreciate you checking me out,” he cut you off, keeping the bite out of his voice because he refused to snap at you. “But I don't want to waste your time.”

Bucky hated that he was trying to rush out when you were only trying to help, but he could hear people in the other rooms even as he tried to block it out. They were in pain, struggling. They needed you more than he did. 

“And I appreciate that you're thinking of my time, but it’s my job and I wouldn't feel comfortable with you leaving without completing my exam,” you said, taking a closer look at him. It wasn't concern he saw in your eyes now, but understanding. “You're not exactly a fan of hospitals, are you?”

The question took him by surprise. How did you guess? “Not exactly,” he replied, choosing not to elaborate on that and you were thoughtful enough not to push. Just a sympathetic nod, which he appreciated. “But the work you and everyone else in the medical field does? It's incredible. Thank you.”

In his eyes, people like you were the real heroes. You didn't just face battles, you faced pandemics and life changing events. You risked your lives, saw the best and worst of people, and how many thanked you in return? And from the little time he knew you he could sense the love and dedication to your job and patients. He respected that. 

“Thank you. And thank you for all that you do, too,” you said sincerely. The compliment had the corner of his lip tugging in a smile. “I know you want to get out of here, but I am here to help. If you're fine, great. If not, please, let me help you.”

He tried to look anywhere but at you. It unnerved him that you got under his skin with so few words and he wondered for a second if that hit to the head did more damage than he thought. “I feel a little dizzy, but that’s all,” he admitted, and he felt better by doing so. 

You put a hand over his, little currents of electricity shooting up his arm. “Thank you for telling me,” you whispered, like it was your little secret. “Since you are feeling dizzy, I would like you to stay for observation.”

Bucky sighed. “How long do I have to stay?”

“As long as everything is stable and there are no new or worsening conditions, you’ll likely be discharged within an hour or two,” you replied. He almost argued that he healed from injuries faster thanks to the serum, but that wasn't too long. Better safe than sorry. At least it wasn't a headscan. “Would you like some water? I can get you a snack, too.”

The snack and drink were likely to make sure he could keep them down. “Sure, thanks,” he whispered. 

“Sorry that you’re stuck with me checking on you for the next hour or so,” you said. 

Bucky’s smile grew before he chuckled. “You won't hear me complaining,” he promised. 

Hell, he'd probably fake an injury just to see you again, or at least ask for you if he ever had to come back to the hospital for any reason. He wondered if you were single. You weren't wearing a wedding band or an engagement ring. That didn't necessarily mean-

“I’m single,” you said quickly.

He glanced at you before his eyes went wide. Shit, he said some of that out loud? “Oh, well, that’s…” He wasn't sure what to say. Should he apologize? “Nice.”

He grimaced. Nice? What was wrong with him? Maybe he had a concussion after all. 

You looked at him, your smile soft and easy. He either wasn't the first patient to make a fool out of himself like that or you were being nice. “I’ll be back shortly, but buzz if you need anything.”

“I will,” he said, his finger itching to push the remote the second you left him alone.

He leaned back in the bed and tried to make himself comfortable while he slowly looked around. How was it that the room seemed darker, as if you took a bit of the light and warmth with you? He shook his head slowly and carefully. It was a ridiculous thought. 

“Observation for an hour or two. You okay sticking around so you can drive me back?” he messaged Yelena. 

Yelena messaged back almost immediately. “Everyone is staying. Even Walker.”

He scoffed, but there was a smile behind it. “Not that you need my permission, but you can punch him if he steps out of line.” Yeah, John was still an asshole, but they did work together and he was trying. Some days. 

He perked up when you came back with a cup of water and a snack. “You doing okay?” you asked. 

“Since you left a minute or two ago, yeah,” he teased. 

“Were you a sarcastic guy before the hit to the head, or is this a new side to you?” you teased back. 

“Oh, the sass has always been there,” he said, taking a sip once you handed the drink over. “Better to be smart-ass than a dumbass, right?”

Why was he talking so much?

“So much better,” you smiled, going to the small computer to type something in. He tried not to stare as your fingers flew across the keyboard. He could always blame it on his head if you caught him. “I’ll be back in just a bit, but-”

“Buzz if I need you. I know,” he smiled. 

“At least there isn't too much sass in your tone,” you joked before you left him alone once again. 

If he didn't know any better he would think you were flirting with him, but you were just being a friendly nurse. 

He also tried not to eavesdrop when he heard you assisting others, but your voice drew his attention and he hung on your every word. You were professional, yet personal, showing each patient expert care. You lightly scolded an older gentleman who hadn't listened to you, which brought a smile to Bucky’s face when the man apologized and didn't give you any trouble after that. It was a delicate balance to be kind and assertive and you did it well. 

“You are something,” he said to himself. 

For the next hour or so Bucky didn't say much when you checked on him, but you had his undivided attention, his eyes following you wherever you went. He wanted to find excuses to keep you there and possibly make small talk, but it felt wrong when there were other patients who needed your attention. He caught that sweet scent again whenever you were close to him. Alluring, captivating. He tried to figure out if it was a body wash or just you. 

Something he noticed and tried not to was that your heart raced faster when you were near him. Maybe there was a slight chance that you were attracted to him? Beyond being a friendly nurse, maybe the possible attraction was why you kept smiling at him. He wanted to believe so. He wanted to feel your hand on his hand again. The brief touch had him wanting more, which was crazy. 

And before Bucky knew it, it was time to leave. 

“Vitals still look good. No change in symptoms,” you confirmed after he said the dizziness had subsided and he didn't feel at all nauseous after the snack. “Do you have someone to drive you home?” you asked. 

“Yeah, I have some friends here,” he answered. Even if he wasn't dizzy there was no way they'd let him drive after that. 

“Try to take it easy for the next 24-48 hours. If there are new symptoms or if the dizziness gets worse, you should return to the hospital,” you told him. “Other than that, I think you're good to go,” you smiled, but it didn't look as bright as before. 

Were you disappointed that he had to leave? Bucky was disappointed, but what could he do? He had no excuse to stay. Ironic how he was itching to leave when he got there when he now wanted a reason to stick around. 

“Thanks.” He grabbed his jacket after slowly getting to his feet, your gaze lingering on him when he slipped it on. 

“Why don't I walk you back to the lobby?” you offered. 

“Oh, you don't have to do that,” he said, regretting it since it sounded like a brush off and that wasn't his intention. “But if you wouldn't mind?”

Your face lit up, at least he thought it did. “I don't mind at all.”

Keeping a respectful distance, but not too much of a gap as you walked together, he stole a couple of glances at you. The quiet confidence in which you carried yourself was beautiful and you turned a few heads from nearby patients. He wondered if you noticed. 

He smiled to himself when he spotted his teammates sitting in the waiting area. None of them looked particularly comfortable, but they stuck it out for him. It meant a lot. 

“That group right there is my ride,” he said, not wanting you to go any closer. If they got the slightest hint that he enjoyed your company for a short time, they’d pounce. “Thanks again.”

“I’m glad I could help," you said, gazing at him. “Havd a good night. And don't forget to take it easy for the next 24-48 hours, hero.”

Hero. The nickname almost made him smile. “You have a good night, too.”

You lingered for just a moment, almost as if you expected him to say something else. When he didn't, you offered him one last smile and scanned your card to get back through the double doors. His shoulders dropped once you were out of sight. He should've said something. 

“Hello?” Yelena asked, snapping her fingers in front of his face. “What are you staring at?”

He blinked a few times. “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Oh, I think he was staring at that pretty nurse,” Ava answered. 

Bucky shot the entire group a glare, his cheeks hot. “No, I wasn't,” he grumbled. Except he was. He stared at you. And by the amused looks on their faces, they all saw it. 

Yelena exchanged a look with Ava before they both smirked. “Yes, you were. Do you like the nurse?”

Bucky’s fists curled. He was not having this conversation after a hit to the head. “Can we leave?”

“It’s okay to stare or have a crush. She’s a beautiful woman.” Alexei clapped a hand on his shoulder. “She would be lucky to date the Winter Soldier.”

A growl escaped before Bucky could stop it. Yes, you were beautiful. Did he need Alexei to point that out? And he didn't have a crush. How could he? 

“When was the last time you went on a date?” Ava asked. 

Bucky took a deep breath. He really didn't want to talk about this. “Does it matter?” he asked. 

“Ask her out! I drive you for your date!” Alexei offered, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll set the mood. You see.”

Yelena pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, “Dad, stop.”

Bucky shook his head and shut his eyes, wishing he could teleport himself out of there. “Yes, please, stop.”

“Is your head okay?” Bob asked, making him open his eyes. Of course he was concerned with his pain, and Bucky was glad for the change of topic. 

“I’m fine,” Bucky assured him. There was nothing for him to worry about. “I just need to take it easy for the next day or so.”

John stretched his back once he stood up. “If you really want to see that nurse again I can make sure you get another hit to the head.”

Bucky’s eyes turned cold. “I’m not a killer anymore, but I may make an exception if you try anything.”

John held his hands up, but still had a smirk on his face before Yelena shot him a look. “A small injury could bring you back here.”

“No one is injuring me to bring me back here,” he announced. Everyone looked disappointed except for Bob. “What, you all want me to get hurt?”

Why did he decide to join this team again?

“No, we just want you to see the nurse again,” Ava said.

“Let’s go,” he ordered. 

As the group left, Bucky snuck one last look over his shoulder. You were a good nurse, and you made his night better. A small part of him hoped he made your night a little better, too. And while he certainly didn't want more injuries, a part of him did if only to bring him back to you.

So, what injury is Bucky getting so he can see you again? sebastian stan x reader, james bucky buchanan barnesLove and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[mania-sama]

ahaha thank you so much for tagging me!!! it was great to see what your answers were as well!

Favorite Color: Purple, if it was not already.... obvious by the formatting of my several profiles, most notably this one. Any shade can be my favorite on any given day. I was just trying to find the shade that I was enjoying the most at this moment, and I was GOING to say the exact coloring of wisteria, but I find that isn't true. I started thinking about some of the deeper, richer shades, and I. I love them all.

Last Song: Stain Rap (Blood Curdle) by Daddyphatsnaps & Fabvl. This is honestly one of the best anime raps/nerdcore songs out there, like objectively speaking. Combining Daddyphatsnaps' lyricism with Fabvl's intensity is LETHAL.

Currently Reading: Ahhh, two answers. For a traditionally published book, I'm reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu (translated by Lionel Giles). I've grown somewhat fond of reading translated literature just to see what the translators have to say about either the original text or their previous/contemporary translators (in which, for this translation, Giles has some serious beef with the earlier translations of Sun Tzu's teachings). For fanfiction, I've been catching up with This is Not the End by KingsHighway, though they update like a madman, and I read slowly. So it's a bit like wack-a-mole with me finishing one chapter only for the next one to pop up immediately after, but I am not going to complain. I love this fic to shreds. The more, the better.

Currently Watching: 9-1-1. I'm in between seasons now, since I literally just finished Season 5 TODAY. I'm a little worried I'm not going to catch up before I ship out to boot camp, so I'm trying to put on the jets right now. I'd also like to watch Reacher S3 before I leave, but I fear it's a bit of a one-or-the-other situation, and I am picking the firefighter show goddammit.

Currently Craving: ... Nothing? I'm full and not hungry or thirsty. Though I guess I am always perpetually craving dark chocolate, however subconscious it may be. I had some white chocolate cake today and it just wasn't the same.

Coffee or Tea: Neither. I don't like coffee or tea, no matter what kind or how it's made. For a morning drink that isn't water, I'll usually just go with 2% milk or hot chocolate, the former being more common. If I need caffeine, I usually just drink a regular Coke. And if anyone is wondering what the hell I get from Starbucks if I don't like coffee (and I do NOT like their hot chocolate), I get a strawberry lemonade acai refresher. There, that should cover my bases.

Tag: @wildflowerteas (no pressure obviously)

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS!

Rules: answer and tag six people you want to know better

Thanks for thinking of/tagging me @thoughtslikeaminefield It’s been a pleasure interacting with you the past couple of days ❤️

1. Favourite colour: Teal

2. Last song: Save Tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry

3. Currently reading: Outlander Series (technically it’s collecting dust on my bookshelf because I mostly read fanfic…)

4. Currently watching: Single’s Inferno, Medium, and forever casually rewatching SPN

5. Currently craving: the bag of sweet chilli & sour cream chips I bought earlier (just waiting for kiddos to go to bed)

6. Coffee or tea: coffee! An iced latte any season.

@losers-clvb @middleearthislife @my-stories-vault @supernotnatural2005 @sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth @jollyhunter

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest May Mayhem Bingo event.

Hellfire

Prompt: Meet Ugly | Word Count: 695 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Very Mild Period Typical Homophobia | POV: Eddie | Relationship(s): Eddie & Gareth | Tags: Pre-S4, High School, Meet Ugly, Making Friends is a Special Kind of Hell

"Goddamn, watch where you're going, kid! Fuck!" Eddie snaps, watching as his lunchbox skitters across the hallway, making an awful racket. Clanging end over end, probably getting even more dented than it already was. 

At least it didn't spill open. That wouldn't have been great.

He shoves the kid that ran straight into him as he turned the corner of the school hallway.

The kid stumbles, before folding down to the floor like a cheap suit, "Sorry! Sorry. Jeez."

And he should be sorry. He needs to watch where he's going.

Eddie watches as he collapses in on himself, getting down on his knees, scrambling to pick up his spilled books and loose sheets of paper. Hands scraping the tile floor as he tries to scoop everything back up.

Eddie feels slightly guilty. But only slightly. 

One piece of paper has slid further away, and Eddie puts the toe of his shoe on it, dragging it towards himself. 

"Give that back!" he shouts, and the kid has fire in eyes. Eddie'll give him that. 

Bending down, Eddie doesn't listen to his pleas, and picks it up, turning it over. 

Oh.

He was expecting homework, he guesses. But this is a drawing of a demon, with a red face and long horns. A flaming sword, and a mace. With the word Hellfire at the top.

It's good. It's really good. 

And there's dice. A d20.

"Are you into D&D?" Eddie asks, astonished, looking down at him. He hadn't suspected, hadn't even noticed him around the school, and usually he's better at reading people. At sniffing out one of his own. This one slipped past him, though.

"Fuck you," he says, blue eyes furious, hair just starting to curl around his ears. Like he's growing it out. Eddie's been there, done that. The awkward stage is hell.

Eddie cackles, first impressions aside, he thinks he likes this little shit. Maybe he could be his first sheep. Eddie knows he's destined to take on a flock of impressionable youth, he just hasn't gotten around to it yet. That's all. 

"Wouldn't you like that?" Eddie banters back, and the kid's cheeks flush a deep red.

"I don't, I wouldn't!" he snaps, and Eddie squats down in front of him, the art still in his hand as he looks at it again, carefully. He has an idea. A plan. 

"If you say so," Eddie teases, "but listen, I have a proposition."

"What's that?" he asks, and he looks every bit of fourteen. Eddie remembers those days, and wouldn't go back for anything. 

"I've been trying to start a club for D&D. If we can use this for our logo, you can join," Eddie offers, and the kid looks suspicious. "No tricks. It's me, and a few other kids so far. We're trying to get the school to recognize us as an actual club. We just need to convince them. I'm Eddie."

"I know who you are," the kid says, and Eddie's eyes catch on something else in his pile of spilled shit. Eddie's hand snakes out.

"Do you play the drums?!" Eddie asks excitedly, grabbing the loose drumstick from the mess at his feet. "I have a band, you know. And we need a drummer."

"Sounds like you need lots of things," he mutters, and Eddie smiles. He does like him. For a little twerp.

"Maybe I do. You interested?"

If the universe is gonna throw this kid at his feet, he's not gonna ignore it.

The kid looks suspicious, and rightfully so. Eddie's not known around school for being especially nice and kind and reasonable. It's a persona he's carefully cultivated. But Eddie just looks at him, giving him his most innocent smile. He knows what his eyes can do, and he's not above using them to get what he wants, never has been.

"I'm Gareth," the kid finally says, and that's not a no. That's not a no at all.

"Gareth the Great," Eddie christens him, grinning, patting him on the shoulder. 

Eddie stands, and watches Gareth get to his feet as well, then asks him, "So, tell me. Do you already know Jeff and Goodie?"

And if you want to write your own, or see more entries in this pop-up, check out @corrodedcoffinfest to see other entries for the May Mayhem Bingo Event!

[aziraphales-library]

Hello!! :) I don’t know if I should make different posts for different requests but here goes- i’d appreciate it a lot if you had any recommendations for aziracrow fics set in/near the edinburgh, 1827 flashback OR fics where crowley and his bentley are connected in some way (like in s2 ep3). Thank you!

Hi! We have #the resurrectionists and #the bentley tags, so check those out. Here are a couple of fics to add to each tag...

one demon’s peril (is another car’s pain) by gravitron (T)

It’s Soho’s second Christmas without Aziraphale, and things are bound to go wrong. Muriel finds a book, Crowley has a panic attack, and the Bentley goes berserk due to the intrinsic connection she and her owner have to share. Surprisingly, this does not end all that bad.

Custom-Made Comfort by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

But the Bentley also quickly learned something else about its owner, something it didn’t understand. Some days, Crowley moved slowly, made strange noises, and sat in the driver’s seat for a long time once he got in. Not wanting to go anywhere, not doing anything. Just sitting there, silent aside from the occasional groans and ragged breaths. Something was wrong with him. But what?

Lean Your Weight To Me by YamiSnuffles (T)

Aziraphale is filled with dread when Hell takes Crowley for his good deeds in Edinburgh. He can do nothing to help. Nothing but wait and be there when the demon finally returns.

Elspeth and the Beanstalk by Dragonfire42, JustZrero (T)

What if... Aziraphale drank the laudanum instead of Crowley? A reverse AU from the minisode "The Resurrectionists," where Aziraphale changes size instead of Crowley after drinking the laudanum, inspired by the fairytale Jack and the Beanstalk. “Did he just shrink?” Elspeth screeched. “One problem at a time, hen,” Crowley said, stepping past the gaping girl to carry Aziraphale outside. The angel held tightly to his thumb to keep from falling off, and started giggling. “I guess you could say I’m performing Sleight of Hand!” He looked at Crowley’s large thumb and laughed even harder.

Twin (s Up In) Flames by gravitron (T)

Crowley and the Bentley go way back. With miraculous coincidence, money, and a wee bit of drunk demon dealings, he and the Bentley grew a bond no other being and his car could craft. They were basically stuck together for the rest of time, almost functioning like interchangeable beings. All it did was cost a bit of Crowley’s soul. Well—maybe not a little, more like a quarter, but you couldn’t blame him. It’s not like he planned to damage the thing anytime soon, and Crowley could take the pain if needed be. That was part of the deal, after all. They’d be just fine. (or; good omens, but crowley and the bentley are actually magically linked together and feel each other’s pain. this causes some things.)

The Night I Met God… The truly honest and merciful confessions of Mrs Elspeth McConnell, fee McKinnon. (Wife, Mother, Parishioner, Pub Landlady). by PhoenixLeigh (G)

The year is now 1882. After her mother's funeral, Elspeth's daughter returns to her childhood home and ends up "vaguely sauntering" down memory lane when she comes across her mother's diary, with only a few entries written inside... But each one opens up doors to a tale of biblical proportions! You may remember her mother as Elspeth McKinnon, a former grave robber and experiencer of something magical and life-changing one night in a graveyard in 1827. But her only child remembers her mother as steadfast, faithful and too busy in her church. But all that changes as she continues to read... For all the girls, who became mothers while missing their own x

- Mod D

[icarusbetide]

I had the Anecdote of H’s threat to write the History of W’s Battles and Campaigns, from you, who had it from Miranda. I know nothing of the Circumstance that led to it. In general, I have always understood that Hamilton lived with Washington very much as Lady Teazle lived with Sir Peter, and as Lady Mary Wortley Montague lived with her Husband.

John Adams Being John Adams in letter to Benjamin Rush, Nov. 14, 1812

this comment was made 8 yrs after ham's death, 13 yrs after washington's death btw

[solsticelosthermind]

Hiii Cele!!! 🥰😘

My handle started as mommalosthermind, which was literally because I had three toddlers underfoot all day every day by myself and I was going fucking insane, and joining tumblr to get back into fandom was a deeply sleep-deprived dear god I need five minutes to be something other than Momma just pick a fucking name you’re not gonna talk to anyone anyway!!! Kind of decision

Except then people started talking to me, and. Well. I’d literally named myself momma. So that’s what I was called, despite somehow believing folks would end up calling me Lost instead? For those of you who’ve adopted me as your Internet Parent, I don’t mind this in the slightest, jsyk.

Fast forward however many years, and I was suddenly talking to all sorts of folks both on and off tumblr and realized I should probably have a single cohesive handle across platforms. (And also that the toddlers were suddenly teens and on tumblr sending me memes to make me go insane for very different reasons—) And as I’ve done for the majority of my life I went, I have no idea what I want to be called. Who the hell am I even.

Solstice is what I’ve been naming all my video game characters since I realized I wasn’t going to have a fourth kid, and there wasn’t a need to hold onto a pretty name for a kid I wasn’t having. So. I guess I’m Solstice now, (or Sol, which will forever be funny bc I am very much a moon girlie) and I’ve never really stopped losing my mind.

No pressure tagging ummmm @frankenjoly @spliqi @roadtripwithlucifer

ok i saw a thread of people explaining the story behind their URLs, so i wanted to hop on and explain my URLs. tagging @andromeda-nova-writing @mimi-cee-genshin @perpetualcynicism @woofwoofwolf @strxnged @nenjuu / @andersdotters @akimind @dkniade

no pressure!!

milkstore -> i really love milk. i like the image of my blog 'selling' bottles of milk. it is a metaphor for sharing things i really like.

thomine -> although it's just thoma + mine, the reason why i wanted to merge 'mine' with his name was because of the lyrics "you weren't mine to lose" from taylor swift's song, august.

malovedaptive -> i found the term 'maladaptive' through maladaptive daydreaming. added 'love' to spice it up. (ultimately, unhealthy or not, it was an adaptation to survive and i'd say there is love within the will to survive.)

firestun -> fire (lighter's element) + stun (lighter's type).

shoyosh -> a play on shoyo and the 'yosh' noise he likes to make. also 'yosh' as a onomatopoeia whenever he gets the zoomies.

xiayz -> yizhou is caleb's chinese name. i thought it was funny that if you abbreviate his full name, it is just xyz. xyz is not available as a URL and wont make sense so i used his surname bc i like summer.

[technically-human]

Hi i'm absolutely in love with the reverse au!!

I want to know, in this verse does edwin still confesses to charles? if so how is it different? i feel if he did he would end it by apologizing, you know, religious guilt and all

There’s a train that goes through Hell.

Its journey starts in Wrath, and it departs already full of souls. It took Charles far too many years to realize that there were separate, more spacious wagons that demons could board. Not that he could understand why anyone, hellborn or not, would want to get into the damned thing. He certainly hadn’t.

Actually, Charles couldn’t recall ever boarding the train. As far as he could tell, he just appeared there one day, and had spent the next tortuous decades trying to get out. It was part of the torture. Getting out was entirely possible. More than that, it was necessary.

The train had no regular schedule that he could discern (not at first, though he had always been good at finding patterns, and was eventually able to crack it) but it would make quite a few stops before finally returning to the Wrath ring. Souls inside the train were already angry and far too close to each other (close, so close not even air could squeeze in) but when they got really violent was when the train made a stop.

Getting out didn’t mean you were free, no matter where you managed it, be it Sloth or Gluttony, Pride or Lust. No, as soon as the train finished its journey, you would appear back inside, in Wrath where you belonged, suffocating once again, getting ready to claw your way out for the millionth time.

Because if you didn’t get out, The Conductor would get you.

If he thought about it calmly, Charles could probably say that he got out of the train more times than not. Still, being caught by The Conductor once was bad enough, as there was no coal in Hell, and something had to serve as combustible. Souls could not burn to death, and the whole journey always felt longer than eternity when he was caught. Once it was over, he would be inside again, and fight with more desperation than before, not caring who stayed inside so long as it wasn’t him.

He couldn’t understand why anyone, hellborn or not, would want to get into the damned thing. He certainly hadn’t. But as the souls pushed and bit and clawed and punched their way out, Edwin boarded the train. And that wasn’t even the most groundbreaking revelation Charles had that day.

ko-fi

[from-leviathans-coffin]

[prettybbychim]

[this became much longer than i intended whoops]

u know i think it would’ve been much better if the ode of resurrection was not shown to us immediately, and wasn’t a main part of their culture. have people die throughout the archon quest, make us believe that there’s no saving them. kill off kachina at the start and convince us that she’s the first playable character in genshin thats not alive.

build up these bonds, forge these friendships, make us care.

just to take it all away

that’s war.

but there’s a tiny flame, that glimmer of hope. maybe it’s something the pyro archons have been working on, passing it down to their successors. something mavuika has been working on. yeah u heard that right she’s actually doing something wow get citlali in there to help out. get the whole goddamn tribe involved idc

there’s a scramble to find the last of the heroes. they don’t want to force it or fuck something up but they’re running out of time. the abyss is coming. it will consume the nation. they need to fucking buckle up and get down to it.

they could probably still go into the night kingdom to search for kachina, so that mualani can get her ancient name. or it can occur under entirely different circumstances. haven’t given that much thought yet. do they find her?

do they find her and can’t actually bring her back to the surface?

for the next part, we’re gonna have to shake things up because we need the captain on our team sooner rather than later. how that happens is up in the air but regardless, we put aside our differences to save natlan.

so, we help the captain find old dragon tech. maybe we enlist the help of kinich and ajaw, maybe we go into ochkanatlan, tie some of that shit in. we can take iansan along too, who is super duper strong and can carry all our fancy dragon tech or smth idk the three of them need more involvement !!! ajaw would drive me up the wall but it’s a necessary evil

in ochkanatlan, we see how the abyss can mimic lifeforms. the twin is in irminsul right? maybe it’s steals the twin’s image, but the traveler knows it’s not them because their twin would never say things like this. we learn that they abyss manifestations are (always?) twisted and mutilated.

we see the dragon. we don’t defeat it, that’s for the world quest lol but we get the image of the dragon in our minds so that when it shows up later down the line, we know what the fuck is happening lol

on our trip, we learn bits and pieces about the captain. it’s all disconnected, nothing makes sense. and since we’re nosey little fuckers, we find correspondence with the tsaritsa in his belongings.

capitano is gentle with his body. maybe a little too gentle. it catches the traveler’s eye but they don’t know what it means, they have no grounds for suspicion. it’s blown off as recovering from his duel with mavuika. (little do we know that he was hit directly in the heart and he’s worried, goddamnit)

ororon lets it slip that something feels off with the captain’s soul. (could the captain be using ororon’s sensitivities to monitor the souls housed inside him? would he eventually tell ororon what’s going on? or would that be too risky?)

ororon receives ancient name same as before, nothing really needs to change there i suppose. more suspicion is thrown on the captain because of the identity of the soul trying to possess ororon. maybe the captain didn’t share his plan in its entirety, he has a lot riding on this, he can’t afford to fuck it up, and keeps his cards close to his chest. he and mavuika can still argue in front of ororon like mom and dad lol

chuychu dies. she doesn’t get to give a long goodbye. she bleeds out in her sister’s arms. (they actually try to stop the bleeding and give her medical care) chasca goes berserk hell yeah, there’s a struggle. she manages to rein herself in, the love between sisters reigns supreme. chasca gets her ancient name

boom u got all ur heroes. they supercharge mavuika to beat back the abyss core thing. what was its name? gilgamesh? i don’t fucking know

the losses are extreme

fast forward a bit bc i’m losing steam and attention span here

we dive back into the night kingdom to track down the “brain” of the abyss corruption. the people we’ve met and lost in natlan help us out. kachina can be added to the mix. the gay lovers, chuychu and her pokémon team, boba and coconut — the whole gang’s here yooo i actually loved this part. favorite section by far

and after our trip in ochkanatlan, we know that the dragon we’re fighting is an abyssal manifestation. the voices of the previous pyro archons are their own but the words are all wrong, designed to discourage and distress us.

we defeat it using the power of friendship (i’m gonna kms)

also mavuika’s kit is completely different. i’m giving her a redesign fuck it. but that’s a post for another time.

traveler seems pretty good ngl i just wish the cons aren’t limited to fighting the dragon. i really liked what i was seeing and then they pooped all over my party (what’s the point!!!)

instead of a big parade, we gather around together at the stadium to finally try the thing all the pyro archons have been cooking. the heroes are a necessary component.

the incandescent ode of resurrection

among the many, kachina comes out of the flames. mualani sobs her heart out and vows to never let her out of her sight ever again

chuychu perhaps? 👀 pls pls she’s the only one besides cap and ororon that i give a shit about pllssssss playable chuychu when? her design is fantastic as is u dont need to touch it PLEASE—

now we can have a party!! after everything is all said and done, we can have One party instead of the five or so we’ve had since we came to natlan. (nation of war? more like nation of fiestas)

ororon, though, feels uneasy, and not because of the atmosphere. he says he’s going to find the captain, but he can’t explain why. concerned, the traveler and paimon try to follow him but are intercepted by citlali, who is for once not freaking out about ororon’s whereabouts, instead…

oh but wait. where’s mavuika gone? oh nooo

plays out relatively the same i suppose. could use some tweaking but not anything significant enough to mention right now.

except now we have somewhat of an understanding of the captain already, all the little bits and pieces we noticed, and the clues we (so rudely) discovered, it’s all starting to make sense now. we’ve also spent more time w him, the emotional attachment runs deeper, and it’s much more painful to experience.

bittersweet

mavuika is confused, especially in the days coming after. she had planned to die then. she said her goodbyes in a roundabout way. she finished the painting of her family, so they’ll never be forgotten. she saved her nation from the oppression of the abyss, resurrected so, so many. there was only one thing left to do… she was supposed to be the one to do it.

what does she do now?

what does she do with herself now, when she hadn’t planned for her own future? it was supposed to end, she was supposed to die. could she have reunited with her family? could she have seen them once again? she’s sad over what could have been, she’s confused because how did it end up like this, she’s mad because the captain stole it from her, she’s guilty because he was ultimately the better choice

what do you do when you’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for your destined day? when you’re only ambition has been this.

it’s time to learn how to live.

the end~

[sieglinde-freud]

oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng

[wackywatchdotcom]

the thing about me is that the process of waiting for a new ep is relatively new for me... i watched the pilot when it came out like everyone else did but at the time i was too focused on a different show to really care (one, which is funny, since its an extremely similar show conceptually) (i highly recommend it i was obsessed w it for well over a year and thats like. genuinely some sort of record for me. and when i say the shows are similar i mean soooo similar. not enough that they fill the same spot in my heart but like. if you watch it ull see what i mean heart emoji). i was around when the teaser came out but i wasnt super invested at the time. it was only like 2 months ago that i decided to get high and watch the show and i was like. woah. woah wait this show fucks

ive liked shows n stuff that were ongoing so its not like im unfamiliar w that concept but i feel like every show and its community and its team has a different feeling and cycles to new parts of it coming out. and bc ive never seen how that works for this show im very excited to find out... i find older posts abt teasers and images from episodes and the site and whatnot and i imagine ill be weird and very not normal about it! because that tends to be my response to those sorts of things

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.

For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.

And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.

Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???

Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.

Leading me neatly to my point.

He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.

Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.

(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)

With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.

Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.

[tomgregs]

i have got to stop smoking 😭 someone oughta curse my mom for encouraging (down right offering) all her kids to become addicts of various sorts. and out of everything ive stopped doing i still cant stop smoking thats whats pissing me off the most!!! sorry. happy new year. ill figure it out

[tapiokauwu]

I'm asexual and also I'm not reading things for the smut scenes, I'm only reading them for the romance. If you want to put a smut scene there, do it well. MORE PASSION. MORE LOVE. MORE EXPRESSIONS or something idk...

I don't need to see guys with the expressivity of a freaking wall in those scenes. STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THERE, WHERE ARE THE FEELINGS??

I JUST WANT TO PERCEIVE THE LOVE BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS PLEASE

let me feel ✨ the love ✨

plain smut scenes with no love involved in romance stories are so unnecessary, do some people actually like them? What's the point? I NEED TO SEE THE CHARACTERS LOVING EACH OTHER PASSIONATELY FOR GOD'S SAKE

[captainshadowshifter]

Me just casually thinking about au worldbuilding and once again realising everything is linked