#i guess its kind of like this every year tho no matter who wishes me happy birthday or whatever

[just-spacetrash]

🫥

[luffyvace]

Hello, could I request Feitan with a reader who looks innocent and angelic usually but is actually just as sick and sadistic as he is? (Aka it's like a secondary persona kind of)

And she's also part of an organization(that kills people) without him knowing (she was part of it even before meeting him)

Ouuuu an interesting reader we have here~

Seeing as though all the feitan gifs are generic fighting ones I’ve put my own picture :) I think it’s hilarious 😂

enjoy your headcanons lovely anon! 💗

(fem! reader implied bc you used ‘she’ in your request but I won’t imply female body just in case)

Feitan getting with an angelic and innocent s/o is certainly an oxymoron

Your such a sweetheart, so thoughtful and kind

you always try to help and encourage others as much as you can

:)

But in reality no?? really your such a sick and twisted sadist who loves watching every moment of others suffering???

welp that went down the drain quickly

feitan might have picked up on the fact that it was all an act or your slightly sadistic tendencies

especially since he’s highly observant

Though I’m not sure how you revealed your in a organization or if you knew he was in the troupe but it probably went like

”your in a criminal organization? Oh…me too” 🧍‍♀️

“Wait what?” 🧍‍♀️

“so we’re both in criminal organizations of the sort?”

🧍‍♀️ 🧍‍♀️

well I guess its all out in the open now

as soon as he figures out your a sadist tho

its on

torture sessions become even more frequent seeing as though he now has someone to enjoy it with

he finds it rather fun to have someone laugh manically with him and not call him a loony 🤓

he’s grateful even

the victims really range from anyone off the street

to enemies from either of your organizations

maybe even someone who gave you a hard time

(they simply bumped into you, you apologized like the “sweet” person you are, but they had no idea what was coming for em that night)

(for fei, they probably mocked him)

you and feitan either have a dedicated torture room or have turned you basement/attic into one

and it definitely has a lock on it

feitan will recommend you some books and you likely do the same for him

(by some i mean you have a whole library shelf—who are you fooling 🤨)

you two make as much time for each other as you can

which yes torturing together counts as quality time

and y’all see it as a sense of normalcy too

wherever y’all stay you just be like

”hey wanna have a quick torture session then find something to eat for dinner?”

like it’s like going about normal daily activities for you two

it also feels good to have someone that gets you from the outside

like your both dangerous criminals,

that likely grew up in harsh conditions

(bc i mean come on mass murders have triggers/motivs they don’t just do things for no reason)

and now you have someone from outside your organization that gets you!

like, they even like torturing just like you!!

best s/o feitan could wish for

as time goes on you two would find out why you joined the organizations you did and if you genuinely enjoy it, just doing it for the money, etc

no matter the reasons or time, you accept each other :)

this also appeals more trustworthy to feitan!! Since your in one yourself, you can’t sell out feitan without selling out yourself!

😋

but…that could go downhill..

for example, your organization could be trying to target feitan/the troupe and is making you use him to get to them

As time goes on he shakes away the thought, it’s probably been years (when feitan’s down, he’s down for the count, he doesn’t do flings, in my hcs) since you’ve been together so he wants to trust you

basically the further things go in with you two, the more he trusts you

of course you have to make sure to give him reasons to trust you and don’t give him any reason not to

he’ll start getting suspicious of you even on the first slip up

(if it happens)

he has to protect the spider, there’s no way he can let it fall because of him

orrrr!!!

your organizations could meet! And form a alliance that may or may not be temporary/strictly business!!

it would be fun seeing all members together drinking and wrecking havoc!!

right?!

😊

LOL just imagine your all casually talking about such violent and socially unacceptable crimes 🤪

especially you and feitan

you guys are so silly

just a silly little group of friends :)

planning to commits fiendish acts together<3

honestly I like the last scenario the best

its so silly :P

I’m glad to see more feitan stans on my page!! thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed!

💖

[golbrocklovely]

since twitter's dying....

here's the last bit of colby's tweets from 2019.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

~~~~~~~~~~~

@/badboywolfy: Country Road gonna go down in history as a cult classic

Dec. 1 - you know it

in the middle of it all

Dec. 4 - i’ve never felt more connected to the universe than i have this past week. it’s the weirdest thing

Dec. 8 - something’s watching over me

Dec. 10 - seeing MCR perform live in 10 days and i am definitely not okay

@/andrearussett: IM SO JEALOUS

i’ll send you a video of me in the pit

Dec. 11 - i loveeee twitter (reply to someone who said something mean, i assume. bc even i back then didn't get to see the tweet lol)

i want a hairless cat

Dec. 12 - sorry truth, dyin young, demon youth

(okay from this point down, it's mostly all fans asking questions, so whatever is indented is his response)

@/ColbyBrock i hope you know that we love you a lot

Dec. 16 - and i love you all too

@/ColbyBrock how is your mental health?

Dec. 17 - you know, life always has its ups and downs and it’s been super stressful recently to be honest. but i’m happy! and that’s all that matters. things are getting better

what's the first emo song you can think of off the top of your head (the tweet said something like this, but has been deleted since)

Dec. 18 - from first to last - emily

favorite series so far

definitely the one we just filmed ! it just gets more and more intense .. i hope you’re ready

@/ColbyBrock what’s one thing you’re looking forward to in 2020 ?

focusing on positives, leaving the negative people and comments behind

(haha......... IF THEY ONLY KNEW)

@/ColbyBrock what’s ur advice for 2020

i wanna challenge people to work on spreading love instead of hate 🖤 not really advice hahah but i think the internet has turned into a darker place this past year, and i really want people to think before they speak or tweet or whatever. spread love !

@/ColbyBrock do you think you’ll dye your hair a different color soon

hahah every single day i get people wanting something different. i’ve just learned to stick with what makes me happy .. but always open to suggestions 👀👀 maybe a dark purple next ?

@/ColbyBrock do you have any plans for your birthday yet

nah. i’ve been so busy i haven’t even thought about my birthday

@/ColbyBrock do you ever get nightmares about being haunted?

all the time. my minds been fucked.. not to scare anyone but i’ve been in so many dark places and after awhile it sticks with you in a way

@/ColbyBrock do you have any regrets about past videos or are you proud of everything you’ve put out?

i’m insecure about so many videos of me on the internet i wish you all knew

(he really knows how to make me sad....)

@/ColbyBrock what do you think about us? the fandom?

i LOVE you guys. you’re hilarious. all i can ask is if people will try to get along and be kind to each other. you’re all my family, leave the negativity and mean comments behind

@/ColbyBrock you should get a dog.

ugh i wish. i wouldn’t be able to love it and care for it like i’d want to or like it would deserve

@/ColbyBrock do you ever get annoyed of us?

hahah not in the slightest. but some of you can say some pretty mean things which i try to ignore now. no point of me giving that attention ya know ? love you all tho no matter what. say whatever you want

we love you colby and im sorry abt the mean people

it’s okay 🖤 90% of people are super nice and dope and that’s all that matters. comes with the job i guess

@/ColbyBrock are you answering questions for a youtube video but giving answers now and reading the reactions??

nope! sometimes it’s fun to just respond to as many people as i can. it’s been a while

@/ColbyBrock would you rather look at the stars or listen to the rain?

i like this. probably watch the stars with someone special

@/ColbyBrock what is your favorite thing to do on your free time? do you like to write? or anything?

believe it or not i’m kinda a loner .. i like to spend time by myself. usually just listening to music or watching dumb videos on YT

@/ColbyBrock if you could say something to your younger self, what would it be?

stop being so insecure kid , you’re okay

what's one thing we don't know about you? (or something like that)

i don’t have it all together like people think. every day is a journey to find myself, and that’s okay!

@/ColbyBrock I'm dying to know… Do you write poems?

maybe a lil here and there 🤐

@/ColbyBrock whats your advice when you’re in a kind of dark spot atm 🙈

take one step at a time. everyday needs to be a work in progress. or at least that’s what i’ve been trying lately

@/ColbyBrock did you dip

i’m about to , it’s getting late. love you all tho. was good talking

i wake up sad for no reason. why?

Dec. 21 - i think i’m gunna try to hibernate for the rest of the year i’ll let you know how it goes

Dec. 23 - i’m so much like my mom , we’re like the same person it’s weird

Really im more like my dad are u a dads boy or a moms boy for me i think ur a moms boy#loveyoucolby

definitelyyyy a mommas boy

Dec. 25 - i still sit at the kids table during christmas even though i’m almost 23 years old

Dec. 26 - you deserve the world !

Dec. 27 - sorry for your loss, im glad you’re ‘over it’.. it’s super interesting how people can choose when they wanna let go. shows you and teaches you a lot about the power of the human mind in my opinion (reply to fan)

i’m looking back at pictures of me in the trap house and damn i went through a chunky phase 🤣curse you taco bell

Dec. 28 - just watched a bunch of old VHS tapes of when i was only 1 year old .. life’s a trip i’m emotional

if i can help, that’s all i want

[thatrandomventblog]

it just sucks so much. i want so badly to put my full weight on people but also im so scared ill hurt or break someone. knowing my dumbass i would and then id be miserable cuse hurting people isnt me. all i ever want to do it help thats all. sometimes it doesnt matter how as long as that person is feeling better. sometimes i feel like im drowing and the only way anything stops hurting is to soothe another whos hurting which never made any fucking sense to me but then again ive always been told ive been drawn to lost souls. maybe im meant to help others and nothing more. maybe im just not meant to really do anything important for the world. i want so badly to be a light for others so i joke and i help and i try and try and try. i get nowhere tho. and i dont know why. i never feel like i actually help someone and im constantly so fucking nervous of saying something wrong and hurting someone on accident and just fucking it up cuse its all ive done my whole life. fuck things up. my birth was a fuck up. i fucked up every day as a kid. i fuck up every day now. i never thought id make it to highschool but now im here. im here living when i thought id be dead. i keep changing myself to fit in better. so people will like me more. ive given up on reading, something ive done since i was ten constantly, reading books and getting lost in them. now i can barely pick one up. i just cant. last year i completely lost my motivation to get better in art. i failed so much. underage drinking led to parents mistrust. but it didnt matter that i was forced to it. i can vaugely recall that night and i keep thinking if it was my fault of theirs. the person who forced me. i guess it should be mine, considering as how im the one who eventually gave in. i cant eat fish anymore cuse the smell makes me think of times id rather forget. sometimes i doubt i could ever be with a girl sexually cuse of it. i keep trying so hard to let things fall into the past. it never seems to matter tho. one way or another they come back. they come back and i feel sick all over. memories of a vaccum getting thrown or of doors slamming haunt me. nothing i do shakes it. i feel like im drowing. i cant climb out of the hell hole im in. i think it should be that way. i do deserve it. im the fucking eldest how tf did i ever let myself be so fucking weak? but it dont matter anymore. im just kind of another dust in the wind. and i know. its always the same issue. but honestly? this household fucking sucks some days. and some days i wish that knife actually hit me. some days im thankful that at least i gotta meet the people i did. siblings keep telling me im lance mcclain irl, and that hits hard. i laugh my pain away until my chest feels compressed. i let just enough steam off so that i dont blow. just so that im not dying while smiling entirely. mom and dad ive tried talking to. it doesnt matter that im hallucinating anymore. it fucking hurts tho. i see things but not really. like its there in glimpses and sometimes there in wholes. but it doesnt matter. as of late im starting to think its a possibility that its ptsd triggered, but the thought of having ptsd makes me feel so fucking shitty. i shouldnt have it. at all. nothing ive been through has been enough (in my opinion) to actually make me have it. but i guess what i got is what i got. some days i feel like its an unfair hand. others i feel like its the hand i deserve. idk anymore.

[sjweminem]

do you miss your dad in a quantitive way? ive recently lost someone close to me and it hurts but you seem to be coping so well even tho its been years

i think a whole lot of it has to do with some of my own illnesses/disabilities (especially autism and SZPD), actually, as well as a severely trauma-ridden life..so i guess the """""""short"""""""" version (literally this fucking essay IS a short rundown) of the deal is this:

not only was i born with a predisposition for emotional scarcity, but also live the damage done by a life so harsh it just drains you of the more basic human emotions. i think that's why i'm so obsessed with math? everything is an equation to me. now, i loved my dad more than anybody on earth, but i don't know what "grief" means since i wasn't equipped with it, i don't think i know what it means to be "sad" (i'm recalling this old journal entry in which i said i was jealous of people who got sad, cuz like their mom died or they had a breakup or put their dog down etc. because my definition of the word "sadness" portrays it as a state of being with an inherent end-point, and good god did i wish i could be sad for that fact alone (i still have that journal, i can post that page or others if anybody wants, it's probably explained better there). the last time i cried was in drug detox like 3 years ago and that was due simply to the physical pain of opiate withdrawal. otherwise i straight up CANNOT cry, it's like i'm physically incapable of it. i think the ability has been taken.

it would make sense to cry over my dad, that exact moment while i was talking to him and felt life exit and soften the hand i was holding; at the moment we were looking each other in the eye and then suddenly..weren't. no tears; the mathematical equation had just been completed- when you become an adult it is the natural progression of things and has been for millennia. it made sense, it added up.

maybe, for weeks to come, it looked to others like i was repressing my Sadness (my WHAT?), that i wasn't letting myself Mourn (umm i don't think anyone ever taught me that ability?) but i'm still like that to this day. personally i just appreciate that i had him as a father, that he cared for me while my mother worked, taking me out for fun little adventures. i love that i had a father who so openly showed his love for me, was affectionate and never closed-off, and also he was brilliant and hilarious. moving on, i appreciate that the remainder of his life post-diagnosis was bright, that he moved in with us, that he and i got to be close again, that he continued with his passions. i hope you can gather past memories/positive facts to be seen through this kind of lens that eases your hurt.

i'm proud that i was the one to take care of him, driving him to and staying around for every single chemo session, sitting up next to his bed where he'd watch me draw in amazement. i'm delighted that the very last thing he felt while still a living human was my hand on his, that the very last thing he ever saw was my smiling face, that the last thing he ever heard was my voice. that's enough for me. i don't understand why i should feel hurt. i have plenty of "oh man i wish my dad could see this drawing!/hear about this stupid thing i did today!/etc but i mean..hey, i wish a lot of things! i wish i lived with mobius in a little house in maine! i wish there weren't so many dirty dishes in the sink right now! i wish my skin didn't get so dry no matter what i do why is it so fucking dry! i don't dwell. maybe the fact that i can't feel sadness and loss and whatever but am still able to feel love and affection work out in this case.

all that being said though, i wouldn't call any of this "coping well"- i just never HAD to cope. and i wanna make sure this doesn't come off as braggy abt how Strong i am or make you feel jealous for how i handled this loss!! like i come on here for people and content and i cuz i think i'm funny but the downside is it can project an inaccurate picture. like even if you've read the worst of the worst about my life and self i've cared to mention here over the years you've still only read the children's edition. if anybody ASKED for a real rundown i'd be totally fine writing that dissertation and pop some pics in for extra fun but i'm not the kind of person who whines all woe is me on their social media as if everyone cares lmao

[ahjustroza]

Hello, if you're still taking requests, what about a HC for the Main 6 with a GN!MC who is like Deathstroke/Deadpool basically an immortal mercenary who can't die and gets into all sorts of dangerous situations

Lmao! Your wish is my command!

Also, I still take requests yes. I just write painfully slow sometimes lol 😔

Deadpool-like MC Headcanon

Asra

Did you saw him mad before?

He will make the hellfire fall upon your enemies

Asra is not the one to fight often

Yet if he senses trouble he will be on alert

Will get you behind him too

So cute

He knows you can regenerate

But what if you suddenly won't heal anymore?

He is not taking any risks

He hates it even when you get sick, what do you mean people wanting your ability to heal??

No. No. No.

No no no no no.

No.

No one is allowed to touch his lover.

The mere thought of it makes him sick.

Asra scares to touch you

What if he holds your hand too tight?

What if his hands are dry and won't feel nice when he touches your face?

What if you will be uncomfortable with him clinging to you?

I mean he is touchy with you.

This is not like that.

He loves you so much that sometimes he just can't even touch you

He will be fine with only looking at you and love you

Whenever he touches you his fingers feels like feathers on your skin

So he will ask a lot of protection runes and spells from Muriel

Will also research your condition

Will make a great to heart conversation with you about not getting yourself into dangerous situations

He is too open to you when it comes to feelings and opinions

He knows your everything

And you know his everything

You know full well that Asra is not dealing well with the possibility of you getting hurt or even die

So you have to make him sure that you are safe at all times.

Annd

Allow him to be close to you.

Don't let him fear not being able to hear and feel your heartbeats again.


Nadia

No.

It is a marvel that you have such a gift

But no injuries are allowed in this palace.

Especially no injures for MC.

You are not allowed to get hurt.

You have to get spoiled rotten by her

Sit on her lap and ask for silks and gold

Not ask to go out avenging

She knows about combat and is educated we'll about it

So if a fight is inevitable, Nadia will be your personal Spartacus on the streets

And your personal Doctor House on the sheets.

Have you ever seen Nadi grumpy??

Oh my, you will love it

She will tell you exactly what would happen if your wound was worst and you never had the power to regenerate

Everywhere you go, she must escort you

And if you come with “I can do whatever I want” she will make you her right-hand person or something in the palace lmao

She naturally likes you around her so more the benefits for her

But she will not let you go off her sight for too long

If so, like Muriel she will trust you to people she knows that will keep you safe

Will make you stay in bed when you get hurt

Even tho the times you get to heal under ten minutes

You must stay in bed for the entire day and she will prepare a shared bath for you two

Also declare your attackers the “enemies of the state” lmao


Julian

Healing huh?

He can too!

Insert meme Both? Both. Here

Since he can heal as well why would you let yourself get hurt??

Or at least that's what he says anyway.

He will get hurt for you. Why bother yourself with the trouble?

He got this.

He got you.

Will jump in front of you

Will be dramatically heroic in front of you too

He hates the idea of you getting hurt so he will sacrifice himself each time

So you have to be careful with him

He won't be hesitant to die for you

Won't hesitate to get deadly wounded only for you to not get hurt

He will always test out the curious-looking floors himself before letting you enter a new places etc.

You have to think three times before doing something

Ask key questions before each decision you make concerning dangerous things

Would that possibly hurt me?

If so, if Julian jumps to the action without thinking, will he get hurt more than they would have hurt you if he wasn't there?

Now ask the questions two more times.

Portia

Guess who will not give a damn about your regeneration?

You are not even allowed to get a paper cut 
Portia is like the mom friend in a relationship 
She will feel every painful thing you go through herself

In her heart

It's almost impressive because she will know whenever you experience pain

Like a sixth sense

And even tho you can heal, she will wrap your injuries

Will ask so many questions

How you ended up like this?

Who hurt you?

Does she need to punch anyone for it?

Will she end up punching someone even tho you say it's all good?

She will have lots of bandaids lol

Heart-shaped, cute colored pick your poison

She will also get insanely worried and anxious when you are out of sight in a dangerous place/ situation

She had many panic attacks too

With you beside her or without you around her

She will cry and end up overthinking everything

Not because Portia doesn't trust you

But because she has a traumatic past with nearly losing her family

She had to live many years worry for Julian and now she will worry for you

She just can't lose her family

Even the thought of it makes her shiver and want to vomit because of stress

More on that

She hates that she might be too weak to protect you from harm

Even tho you get to heal yourself

Even tho you are smart and know how to get yourself out of trouble

Portia will work out and train herself in magic and all kinds of stuff to be stronger

Only for you to not get any harm

Even the paper cuts.


Muriel

Doesn't matter how fast you heal Muriel will be in a state of about to faint and having a heart attack each time you get hurt

He will ask soo many questions about your injuries

Will give you looots of silent treatments after each trouble you got yourself into because he “told you not to go” lmaoo

After giving up and admitting that you will not change your lifestyle, Muriel will change his

He will be like the type to put baby protectors on every corner of the house

Everyday he will ask himself

Why are we still here?

Only to suffer??

Bc you are the little shit to wake him up in the middle of the night to say you have a paper cut kind of annoying him

He will be more alert than ever when you two are out in the public

One hand always ready to grab a wooden staff he carries around under his cloak

He hates the idea of a fight but he’ll fight the devil itself for you if necessary

He'll never leave you alone

Will be two steps near you all the time unless you are with someone he trusts

Like Asra

In the shop. Maaaybe

But outside? No.

He thinks you both need protection smh


Lucio

Yoooo

So you can like grow a limb or something?

Shit he should have asked that from the devil instead of becoming a living goat ghost

He will hate it when you are in pain but not the type to get super overprotective over you like Muriel

He knows about war and fights and he had experienced many types of physical pain

That means he will be able to understand you the most in that way

During a fight, he will swing a sword alongside you but won't jump in front of you to prevent you from getting scars

He knows you will heal but he won't.

Your healing will fascinate him each time like he never seen you heal before

He will also give you a lot of freedom than most people might think

Like the complete opposite of Julian

He will let you do anything you want during dangerous situations

He knows that you will be fine at the end

But he trusts your wisdom the most

You probably experienced many types of danger your entire life

And most probably you are better than him in defenses and combat

So you can go anywhere you want

He will just make sure that you don't die

Like literal dying.

No ghost MCs dying.

But he will also still get very furious when someone tries to hurt you

He will fight back like a demon released from its chains each time people hurt you
 
 

[piningeddiediaz]

Ohh you also like rwrb? What do you like about the 2 idiots in love 🥰 I personaly thought some things in the book are way too gringe and random or exagerated but I loved the characters and the story of A and H 💘

like? oh boy like doesn’t even cut what i feel for this book. you should have seen me a year ago - this tumblr was practically a shrine to rwrb. i could write a thesis on how much i love that book.

and i could say a lot of profound things about the writing style etc etc but the truth is i was in a really bad place when i first read it and it got me out of a hole i couldnt climb out of. more than once. it’s my go to book when im sad, i’ve read it so many times i have most of it memorised.

and it’s nothing to do with the story - you’re right some of it is quite cheesy and exaggerated (though i think thats part of the charm! casey mcquiston takes every trope under the sun but somehow does it better) - it’s about alex and henry. about their relationship. before reading rwrb i was a very firm believer in fate and destiny and soulmates. i was (still am) a hopeless romantic who believed in love at first sight and rose petals and violins when you meet The One. and tho pynch had already kind of introduced me to the idea, it wasnt until i read rwrb that i really understood that love is a choice that you make, and The One isn’t just someone you randomly bump into at a coffee shop or whatever. the person who chooses you, keeps choosing you no matter how hard it is? thats The One. for me, love is choosing to stay. at the time i read rwrb, that message was something that i really needed to hear. it’s just such a feel-good book ukno? it’s got its sad moments but it’s so hopeful! and alex is my spirit animal - my friend convinced me to read rwrb by telling me she found the male version of me and she is absolutely right! and henry is the kind of person i want. in a lot of ways, firstprince kind of reminds me of pynch in that once they realise and admit their feelings for each other its an upward curve. despite the setbacks, they help each other grow. they understand each other’s interests, passions, desires and dreams and not only do they accept it, but they actively encourage it. henry understands alex’s dreams of being in congress and tho he himself wishes for a life outside the limelight and doesnt really understand why alex would want to be the subject of so much scrutiny in the first place, he is nothing but supportive. not in the resigned ‘i guess i’ll suck this up for you’ way, but because it is a part of alex and he loves him which includes loving his dreams. because he understands alex’s reasons, and he loves him for it. that is so so important to me, that’s what i want. rwrb was a big neon sign saying DON’T SETTLE.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[catsplushellhounds]

favorite headcanons (and theorys?) of glee that i created

i was thinking if i really was going to write this, but im bored so lets go, this got so long and i am so sorry (not really it was fun and i liked it, if you like big metas you probably gonna like this)

*this can have some triggers for some people because i will be talking about bullying, abandonment, depression and violence*

(also i would like to say that most of this are things that i like to believe happened, and idk if the rest of the fandom agrees or if someone said it before and this is all blaine related, i left it glee on the title because it sounded better idk)

- blaine's dad is filipino and he left after blaine came out

i know that blaine said he was there in shooting stars, but hear me out

first of all, to me his name is tod anderson, dont ask me why it just makes sense and i like how it sounds.... so

in sexy, blaine tells burt that his dad tried many times bonding with him, but apparently that didnt work, because he also says "you think my dad built a car with me because he loves cars? i think he did it because he thought getting my hands dirty might make me straight." and after 4x18, he is never mentioned again? and he wasnt on his son's wedding too

so my theory here is that he never accepted that blaine is gay, and all of his "efforts of bonding" were actually because he thought he could "fix" blaine, and when that didnt worked he left, (that also explains blaine's abandonment issues) but he did came back im the shooting episode because he felt guilty for what he did, but after he saw it was a false alarme he went back on pretending he didnt have a gay son

to be really honest sometimes i pretend that his dad wasnt on the shooting day because i feel that it doesnt fit that well into this and i really like this one because its kinda obvious to me that blaine have daddy issues??? so usually i just put on my character-backstory that blaines dad left after he came out and never came back

for the first year that he was gone, blaine spended every night trying to contact him. sometimes he just texted, but most of the times he called and left a message crying begging him to come back and tell him what he'd done that made his father hate him so much, his dad never called or texted back

- blaine's parents

(im not sure if this is canon but blaine's mom is named pam)

i know that technically i've already talked about blaine's family when i was talking about his dad but that is so complex i felt i had to do a topic exclusive for that

i believe blaine has and always had a good relationship with his mother, yes she was usually gone because she works selling a really famous cosmetic line she created (to me the andersons are a really known name) that would explain how blaine could study in a school like dalton (he said so himself that dalton isnt a school that anyone could afford), and why she is never there

but despite her being busy with her job, she always tried to keep im touch with blaine, texting him, and calling and skyping

blaine always missed her, but he tried to not make her feel guilty about working too much, because she loves her job

sometimes he got really depressed, because he wished she could be there to see him sing with his friends, or just be there so that he could hang out with his mom like all of his friends did with their parents

his das was a businessman, i dont know why it just fits to me, also idk what kind of business because i dont understand any of it so thats up to imagination

before he came out, he and his dad were super close, sure his dad a lot of the time was busy but he was at home more than his mom, his dad was the one that introduced him to liking sports, and they always watched games together (cooper would join in too) and his dad always let him have a sip of his beer, blaine always loved those moments and his dad was like a hero to him, he was sure that coming out to him would be easy, because he would love him no matter what

all of the andersons have always been brodway babys, all 4 of them liked to sing, tod was a little bit more serious and didnt dance around the house like cooper, blaine and pam but he enjoyed seeing them having fun

the andersons were like the perfect family of the neirbourhood, all 4 of them are very good looking, talented and educated so yes everybody thought they were perfect

they all lived in the philippines until blaine was 5, and then moved to ohio because tod got a really good job offer there

after blaine came out, his parents argued A LOT. tod would ask himself and pam of what he had done wrong and pam would say its nobodys fault and thats just how blaine is

(to me that was the time tod was revealed to be an asshole and not long after he divorced pam and stoped talking to all of them, except for cooper, he and cooper still talked)

- blaine's bullying

the bullying blaine went through was a lot like kurt's, people laughing at him, shoving him around, beating him up, etc

he tried putting a brave face through it but he started losing all of his light, even more when all of his complains didnt matter at all

it only got sort of better when he met skylar (thats the kid he went to sadie hawkings with, i read in a fic that was his name and stuck with me so im calling him skylar)

skylar was going through the same thing he was, and one time blaine saw him getting shoved at lockers, and helped him pick up his books and thats were they started talking

maybe they liked each other, they never got to find out because after the bash, skylar never spoke to blaine again

blaine was in a 2 week coma after getting beat up, and the first thing he said when he woke up was "where's my dad" and his mom had to gently tell him his das was not there. that was when blaine realized he actually meant nothing to his dad and that broken him even more

he was bashed about 3 months after his father left him, and for the rest of that school year he was homeschooled by a teacher his mother hired

- blaine joining dalton and the warblers

so, since blaine is a year younger than kurt, in my head goes sorta of like this

he came out when he was 13, that was the time he was bullied, beaten up abandoned and homeschooled, and he joined dalton when he was 14, but to be a warbler he had to be a little older than that, so he had to audition to join (im guessing you dont have to audition to be a warbler, just to have a lead, i mean kurt didnt auditioned, right?) and and trent auditioned together, they became friends and were roomates (dalton is a boarding school DONT @ ME EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS TRUE)

it took blaine a while to take the step to audition, because he was still scared, but wes and david helped him and gave him a little seed of the confidence he pretends to have later on, but when he sang for the warblers for the first time they were all blowed away by how good was his singing voice even if he was only 14

after he felt comfortable in the warblers, he became friends with nick and jeff, and they were a trio of dumbassess, wes and david (usually the most mature of all the warblers) sighed everytime they saw nick, jeff and blaine doing something stupid

trent joined in sometimes but he always had been a really chill dude, and he saw blaine as a older brother (even tho blaine is younger than him)

jeff, nick and blaine pulled pranks on wes and david like hiding stuff from them and act all inocent when they asked if they saw said thing

the warblers had a bet going on how long would it take for kurt and blaine to start dating (and yes all of them shipped klaine, and even after kurt and blaine went to mckinley the warblers still kept hearing about them and seeing them on jacob ben israel's blog)

jeff, nick, trent, wes and david were the only real friends blaine had there

wes and david has already gratuated when the slushie happened, and nick, jeff and trent all apologized to blaine after that (even though they had no idea that was gonna happen) but their friendship was never the same

- blaine and cooper's relationship

as we know, blaine and cooper didnt got very along when blaine was growing up, cooper is 9 years older than blaine, and has always been really hard on him and thaat made blaine really dislike cooper, even tho he really wanted for them to be friends, he always has bitter feelings towards him duo to all of the pressure and expectation he was under because cooper was the oldest, and blaine felt like he had to be just as good or better than him, so he also had a lot A LOT of jealousy

but that started to change after "big brother", when they talk things out, cooper finally realizes how blaine feels, and starts doing his best to be best brother to blaine

they dont become besties immediatly, blaine helps him with his audition (which makes kurt really proud and happy seeing cooper being all excited talking to blaine, while blaine is trying to pretend like hes cool but actually hes just as excited), and they start to talk more and more after that

after finn dies is when they start getting actually close, after the funeral, he calls cooper but dosent say the reason why, he just says that he loves him and that he misses his big brother, they call and talk to each other a lot more after cooper finds out about finn

when cooper has a son, he and blaine teach the little guy how to dance and they play a lot of happy and fun piano songs to him

- the anderhummel family

blaine and burt are actually really close, they both like sports and beer so they watch games together and bet about whos gonna win, burt sorta of became the dad blaine lost, but in a non weird way, because they both agreed that blaine calling burt "dad" after he married kurt was just... weird

finn and blaine played a lot of videogames together, sam and puck played with them too, but when kurt was helping on dinner or more interested in a magazine or trying to convince carole to let him do a makeover on her, finn and blaine played videogames and maybe sometimes gossip about kurt and rachel (after he became besties with sam he did that same thing but hey playing videogames and talking about your s/o is fun!)

carole took care of blaine when he was in the hospital for the eye surgery, and when he was hangover at kurt's after biota she helped him with all the vomiting and headaches and all of that

pam met carole and burt when blaine got slushied, blaine was already like family to the hudson-hummels at that point, so when burt found out what happened he ran to the hospital, (carole was already working there anyway) and thats where they met, it wasnt ideal and all of them wete stressed and worried but they got along pretty well

pam, burt and carole werent really close since pam was usually out working, but the few times they sat down to talk to each other they really liked. pam thinks burt and carole are a sweet couple, that raised two wondeful boys and burt and carole think that pam is a sweet and funny lady, they all exchanged embarassing stories about kurt and blaine (that made them go "MOM DONT TELL THEM THAT" or "DAS STOP I WAS 7")

pam absolutely adores kurt, he was fascinated when he found out she had a line of cosmetics and spended hours talking to her about skincare routines

blaine can always make carole laugh, she thinks hes a sweetheart and usually keeps burt from bursting into the room when the door of kurts bedroom is closed ("i told them already, leave at least 2 inches open, is that really so hard??" "honey, relax they're just watching a movie" "im going in there" "no you're not leave the boys alone")

burt has walked in a few times on klaine making out on the couch and he always makes a joke about it to not make it awkward

burt was thrillled to know he was gonna be a grandpa, and he spoils tracy anderson to OBLIVION (blaine doesnt argues because he sorta of does the same thing)

even after both breakups, burt and blaine had always kept in touch, maybe it wasnt what it used to be when he and kurt were still mad at each other, but once they go back being friends, blaine is a little more comfortable in hangin out with the hudson-family

- blaine's depression in s6

i think is canon thay blaine had depression and anxiety during the whole show, right? it just got worse in s6 because kurt breaking up with him was sort of what pulled the trigger

it begun when his father neglected him, and it only got worse and worse, he was abandoned by his father and sometimes felt like by his mother and brother too, he had anxiety and it got worse after sadie hawkings, then kurt and him broke up for the first time, and he kept bottling it all up until it all reached the boiling point and it all exploded when kurt broke up with him

(side note, i think that when kurt started pulling away from him in s6, it reminded him of his dad pulling away too, his dad tried to bond with him but i feel that as harder blaine tried to make his dad stay, didnt matter and his dad kept pulling away until he was gone, that makes a parallel to s6 breakup, and why blaine was trying so SO hard to make kurt stay, because he had been there before, and he wasnt good enough for his dad, and he really wanted to be good enough for kurt)

so, after they breakup, blaine stays in a cheap hotel, not getting out of bed and feeling empty inside, his phone buzzed a little with missing calls from his friends but at some point the batery died and he just ignored, he only charged after 2 days because he probably had to let people know he's still alive

he went back to the loft in the afternoon, because he knew kurt wouldn't be there, he was going away and leaving nothing behind when kurt showed up, blaine was kinda of embarassed because he was probably stinking and his hair and clothes were a mess

im not sure if they talked at all after the breakup night, but i kinda feel that blaine might have said to kurt something like "you think i'm broken? when are gonna realize the problem here isnt just me? i should have known, everytime things get serious and scary between us you run, you're so afraid of something and honestly i have no idea of what, please just stay away from me" (i dont knooow he was angry and being all cold to kurt and shit i think that happened and maybe thats what made kurt go to therapy)

he got kicked out of nyada because he didnt left his hotel room for anything other than food, and he felt even more lost after receiving the email saying he was no longer a student there, thats when he decided to go back to lima

in lima, he barely left his room, he didnt ate for days and when he wasnt crying he was sleeping, his friends would call, text and sometimes try to visit him but he never texted back, answered the calls or opened the doors for them, sam was the only one that had some success because he was living in lima too and could go to blaine's house more often, sometimes he got lucky and blaine would open the door for him

at first he tried to do pep talks to help his bestie get better, but nothing helped so at one point he just sat there with blaine and did nothing with him, because at least like that he wouldnt be alone

one day blaine felt a little better and started trying to be okay again, it was never easy but he got a job at breadsticks, and even tho he would much rather be in his bed he kept working because at least like that his mind was busy with something

after he started therapy, he still felt empty inside, the world was still sorta of grey to him and he didnt felt like doing anything, so he had to take meds for that, and kept taking them even after kurt cane back (but as blaine was getting better they slowly became less and less needed)

when blaine started working at dalton, he was already in a much better place that he was when he came back, and throughout s6 he was still battling depression, and wasnt always okay, sometimes he would still want to just be alone and dont talk to anybody or do anything, and if that happened when he was surronded with people he would just be more quiet, that sometimes got rachel and kurt's attention, because they're not used to this "new" blaine and when they asked him if he was doing okay he would just say "yeah, im just tired" sam later on explained to them what that usually meant, it meant that blaine needed some alone time because he was draining himself a lot

- blaine at nyada vs blaine at nyu

soooo i have a good theory about this one, at nyada blaine was constantly surronded by people who would probably kill someone to get at the top, to be the best

and was such a competitive place, that ended up being toxic for blaine. i used to think that he didnt fit there because he always was one of the best in show choir and dalton and he was always *that* guy, but now i think he didnt fit there because actually he dosent like competition that much

okay, sure, playful competiton with your friends its fun, show choir competiton is fun, fighting with tina, mercedes, rachel, santana and unique about solos was fun because it was serious but he was with his friends so okay, whatever

but the competition they had at nyada was just SO MUCH, and lets agree nyada is kinda of a toxic place in general, people made fun of kurts face and clothing there, rachel's "friends" ditched her when she lost the diva off to kurt and started kissing up to him, and (im not sure about this one but like 99%) people laughed when blaine lost to kurt at combat's class

my point is, in nyada, people only like you if you do well in classes, there's a lot of lying and backstabbing going on and c'mon blaine pratically grew up like this with cooper

always not good enough, always behind, always made fun of, never being great at anything, so maybe thats why blaine felt so stressed at nyada, and why he gets so insecure in 5x16, seeing kurt being praised and getting all of that attention might have reminded him of the years he and cooper didnt get along so well

he didnt found himself at nyada, mostly he was there because it was said to be the best school and rachel and kurt were there, so great, right?

but i get the feeling that at nyu things were a little lighter, not easier, but lighter, it didnt had so much toxic people, it wasnt a place where it was kill or be killed, people helped each other when needed and yes there was still competition, obviously but (almost) nobody made fun of people for failing

(i said almost there because im sure there was some douchbags there too, they're everywhere, but i hope you got my point)

- blaine's friendships

i am almost done i am so sorry this is so long i've been here for like 2 hours

i have some small headcanons about blaine's friends, because we did NOT get enough of his friendships (im leaving kurt out of this one because maybe one day ill do a meta/hc/theory about klaine....... maybe)

mike and blaine were besties on s3

they both like to dance and sometimes they+brittany would do a dance number together, sometimes for the glee club to see, sometimes only to themselves because thats fun

mike talked with blaine after the its not right but its okay number to see what happened and if he was okay (actually it was mostly blaine just venting about it "AND THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE KURTS VOICE HIS RINGTONE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK????????")

blaine talked to mike about mike's dad because he knew what mike was going through and they both agreed thay family sucks sometimes

after mike graduated he and blaine kept têxtil each other and sometimes sending gifs or videos of dance moves to each other

santana and blaine were actually really good friends

after the glee club found out about what santana's grandmother had done when she came out, when they were alone blaine told santana about his dad, even tho he was afraid she was gonna tell everyone because he doesnt like talking about it, just so that she would know that shes not alone and its not her fault, santana never once teased or told anyone about this, she always sorta of liked him and thought he was nice but that moment she started seeing him as a friend

while preparing for the new directions vs warblers in 3x11, santana tried helping blaine bring out his inner bad boy, she helped him pick his outfit and they planned together the whole performance

(im stealing this one from a post i rebloged i guess a day ago? i didnt found the blog to tag but this is the post) > santana and blaine are friends on facebook, and follow each other on twitter and instagram, and they always spam on each others profiles because they're comfortable to do that with each other

santana kinda sees blaine as a male version of brittany, so she has this need of protecting him (which is kinda why she was super invested in getting him justice for his eye)

speaking of his eye, when he was at home before surgery, santana went there and told that she was gonna make sebastian confess what he'd put on thr slushie, blaine asked her how she knew where she lived but she cut him off, she also came back there after and told him everything, and she and kurt asked him what he wanted to do about it

brittany and blaine really were sunshine twins

they always liked each other, blaine didnt get her at first, but he got used to it

she always talked to him about cats, and what lord tubbington was up to, she tried inviting him to fondue for 2 but he knew that she would ask some really private questions so he always came up with an excuse

after he almost went back to dalton, she (alongside with tina, sam and marley) tried to make him feel as welcome as possible

when she was dating sam, sometimes the three of them would go to her house after school and cuddle in her bed with lord tubbington while watching a movie

when britt was planning their weddings, she asked blaine to try up some suits (with the excuse that she wasnt sure the one she picked was right), but she asked him that like a day after he kissed kurt at rachels party so she could tell he was kinda sad and asked him why, he told her and she said it was gonna be okay because their love was magical (it was weird but it did made blaine feel good, so...) she was also the only person he told that

blaine and britt always have ideas like "we should totally put glitter in the entire room to celebrate our wedding aniversary!" kurt and santana shut down the idea at the same time

blamtina were like 3 chaotic brothers

sam and blaine would have a dumb idea that would result in absolute chaos (but funny tho) and tina always plays along with them even if she thinks its a bad idea

the three of them are completely harry potter nerds, sam and blaine are hufflepuffs while tina is a ravenclaw, in a halloween party in s4 they went as the golden trio

after graduation, sam and blaine still skyped tina and told her all about ny, and she would tell them all about her collage

sam kept his promise of sending his imitations to tina and blaine sometimes would call her to vent about a fight he and kurt had

blaine read all of the harry potter books to sam

after sam talked blaine into staying at mckinley, sam and tina would always be with blaine, always talking to him, and spending time with him, thats how the 3 of them got so close

marley and blaine were good friends

when marley joined the new directions, blaine was one of the first to make her feel welcome

when blaine almost left for dalton, she tried make him see that she liked him in the nd too, and would randomly start talking to him so that he wouldnt feel alone

she would rant about jake to him sometimes, like how he wanted to have sex but she wasnt ready, and blaine told her she should do it only when she felt comfortable

after she got suspended, he apologized for yelling at her because of the performance, and remembered mr schue that she was recovering from an eating desorder and that he shouldnt be so hard at her

unique and blaine were "frenemies"

they started off not liking each other, since they both wanted it to be the new rachel, even after blaine won, he and unique still were kinda competitive with each other

but eventually they became sort-of-friends, they sang together sometimes when no one else was there, and they liked to pretend to not like each other but yes they did and it was just their thing

sometimes marley would do a sleepover and she would call blaine, unique and tina, while marley was talking about jake or tina was talking about missing mike, blaine would braid unique's wig and she would try to convince him to let her see his hair without gel

when the whole plot of unique and the bathroom happened, when mr schue told everyone he couldnt give up twerking, blaine stood up for unique saying that wasnt fair and mr schue should try harder to help her, he also held her hand (alongside with marley) when she was scared of having to go to the bathroom again

blaine and mercedes talked to each other more than twice :O

lol ok im not sorry for that title

mercedes and blaine LIVED together people, she used to be kurts best friend, and sams girlfriend are you telling me they barely talked to each other? no

in fact, they really like each other's company, blaine is kinda of a goofball and mercedes thinks its funny

he would ask her to talk to sam when blaine wanted something from him, and mercedes did the same with kurt

sam and blaine would do stupid things together (like dance around their house in their underwear) just to make mercedes laugh, they swore to never tell anyone, and they never did

sometimes at 3 am when no one could sleep they would all have a little dance party until they got tired

blaine and mercedes are junky food addicts, they eat healthy and stuff but they love some cake at 5 in the morning

one time when kurt and mercedes were arguing about the tots, blaine sided with mercedes and told her he agreed that tots are delicious

[maria-scribbles]

cocoa

sick of hearing his parents fight day after day, reggie goes to the one person who knows exactly what he's going through: the pretty violinist who lives next door.

fandom: julie and the phantoms

ship: alive!reggie x reader

word count: 1.5k+

featuring: swearing (as always), fighting, allusion to an abusive relationship, general sadness, mention of a family member’s death

a/n: day 2 of my holiday challenge: hot chocolate! this is kind of depressing and i'm sorry, sad!reggie was stuck in my head and he wouldn't leave until i wrote this but it has kind of a hopeful ending tho so i guess that counts for something? this is also my first time writing for this fandom so forgive me if it sucks. as usual, unbetaed so all mistakes are my b.

come join my holiday challenge!

December 1994

They were fighting again. It was the same old story: his dad being an ass on purpose, his mom taking the bait, wash, rinse, repeat. Their shouts rang harshly throughout the house, gloomy and miserable despite the cheerful decorations strung up in every room and the massive Christmas tree downstairs, dressed in its festive best and looking like it came straight out of a seasonal catalog.

Reggie had gone to them at the beginning of the month, begging them not to fight, please; his everyday life was already ruined by their screaming matches and the only thing he wanted for Christmas was some peace, quiet and civility to celebrate his favorite holiday. His father had pretended not to hear his son's pleas, ignoring him completely like he always did while his mother offered a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"We'll try, honey." She'd said and he knew it was a lie. His mother always lied, his father always threw a plate at her head, Reggie always wished he had the courage to run away for good, like Luke did. But he wasn't Luke, he never would be, and he just didn't have it in him to leave them, even though he was the one who came out worse for wear after each fight.

The distant shatter of ceramic drifting up the stairs was his cue to go until things cooled down again -he never stuck around after the first dish got thrown, not anymore, the scar on his arm the perfect reminder why- and so he jimmied open the window of his room and climbed down the trellis into the salty air, the crashing waves of the Pacific covering his escape like a blanket.

(He could've stormed down the stairs and slammed the door behind him and his parents still wouldn't have noticed he left but something about sneaking out and risking a broken bone made him feel alive, the same rush he felt when he was on stage, bass humming in his hands, performing alongside his bandmates and knowing they felt it, too.)

Even outside, the echoes of his parents' angry voices still rang in his ears, haunting him all the way to the house next door, its sparkling lights shining brightly and guiding him through the darkening night like a beacon. The driveway sat empty, sans for one lone bicycle haphazardly lying on its side in front of the garage and he carefully propped it up on its kickstand before climbing the stairs to the front porch.

The faint sound of a slow, somber violin came to a stop as he knocked on the door, followed by a quiet, familiar voice Reggie knew like the back of his hand.

"It's open."

He found Y/N alone on the couch, eyes downcast and fingers fiddling with the strings of the violin on her lap and she glanced up at the tap of his boots on the hardwood floor, face brightening the slightest bit at the sight of her friend rounding the corner into the living room. 

The girl didn't speak as she gently placed the instrument aside and stood, meeting him halfway and throwing her arms around his neck to draw him into a crushing hug. His own arms wrapped around her waist and held her just as tightly, his head resting on her shoulder, and the warm vanilla scent of her soft hair tickling his nose helped calm the storm in his heart.

"I'm sorry, Reg." Her voice was low and soothing in his ear and he didn't know how he could possibly hold her any tighter than he already was but he managed as he replied, "I'm sorry, too."

While his parents fought like wildfire, explosive and loud and raging with the wrong type of passion, hers were like a deep freeze, icy and cold and desolate in the worst possible way. Too many times Y/N was left to her own devices, all alone in an empty house with her thoughts and a violin her only company (at least they had given her that, the gift of music and a beautiful, expensive instrument to prove their love was real, albeit superficial).

It was some time later before she pulled back just far enough to look him in the eye and brushed a wayward strand of his dark hair back from his forehead with one calloused finger. "Okay, pity party's over. It's almost Christmas and we're not spending it being sad about shitty parents. Deal?"

She held out her pinky with one eyebrow raised expectantly and grinned when he nodded and hooked his pinky around hers. Reggie loved really liked that about her, the way she could just make all the heartache and pain and disappointment vanish from his mind like magic and replace them with thoughts of her and her sunny smile, her big heart, her touch that made the very blood in his veins spark like lightning. Y/N was his bright spot, his safe haven, and while Luke, Alex, and Bobby knew what he was going through, they just didn't understand like she did (they had their own problems to deal with, anyway, so he couldn't blame them).

"Good, now come on," She wrapped the rest of her fingers around his hand and started tugging him down the hall to the kitchen. "You're helping me make hot chocolate."

"Peppermint?" He asked, smiling when she glanced up at him with an offended look on her face.

"Duh. Only a heathen would make it without peppermint, Reginald."

Another thing he liked about her: she never did anything halfway; half-assing things, taking the easy way out, cutting corners just wasn't her style. It even applied to hot chocolate apparently, as he watched her flutter around the kitchen with practiced ease -heating milk and cream on the stove, measuring sugar and chocolate, slowly adding drops of peppermint oil- and despite her saying he was going to help, the only thing he got to do was crush some candy canes. Not that he minded, though, because while his hands could play bass like no one's business, they were a total disaster when it came to cooking and he knew Y/N was well aware of that fact, considering it took a week for the burnt popcorn smell to fade from her microwave the last time he tried. 

The violinist smiled and proudly handed him the finished drink, whipped cream piled high and candy cane bits almost overflowing from the edge of a red mug. "This is my grandma's recipe," She said, one hand holding a purple mug for herself and the other reaching to grab onto his wrist and pull him out the front door. "She'd always make it when she came to visit for the holidays and we'd sit out on the porch and watch the ocean, each and every year." 

"She was the best," Reggie said as the two sat together on the porch swing, his right side flush against her left. "I still have dreams about her cookies and wake up drooling."

The cool ocean breeze ruffled Y/N's hair and carried her laugh off down the beach. "She loved you, you know that? She was always talking about 'that nice boy next door.' Pretty sure she wanted us to get married."

"I loved her, too." He took a sip of his drink in an attempt to hide the blush that was taking over his entire face. "And we still have time for the whole marriage thing."

"I'm still waiting for my ring." She laughed again before looking down at the mug in her hands, voice becoming quiet as she replied, "I really miss her. She was the only person in my family who actually cared about me 'cause my parents sure as hell don't."

He wanted to tell her she was wrong but he knew it'd be a lie and he never did that, refusing to become a pathological liar like his mother, so instead he just wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side. "Hey, no more talk about shitty parents, remember?"

"Sorry, I know," She took a long sip of her cocoa, then rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. "I just feel alone sometimes when you're not around. I mean, you have your band and I always had my grandma to talk to but now she's gone and I'm kind of...lost."

"You have the band, too, Y/N! Alex and Luke love you and Bobby, well, he's Bobby. No one really knows what goes on in that guy's head but I know he thinks you're cool. We all do, especially me, and you should know you're never alone 'cause you'll always have us."

The girl abruptly sat up and grabbed the mug from Reggie's hand before he could blink and placed it alongside her own on the floor, then threw her arms around his neck in another one of her fierce hugs.

"Has anyone told you how fucking amazing you are?" 

"You just did." He buried his blushing face in her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist once again. "I'm serious, Y/N. You'll always have me."

"And you'll always have me, Reg. No matter what."

And as they sat there on the porch swing, wrapped in each other's arms, Reggie knew as long as he had Y/N in his life, things were gonna be okay.

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

Time for the next part :)

Have a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 10

I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I had no clue what time was it, but the sun was out already, making me squint my eyes. I got in sitting position slowly, banging in my head intensifing with every move i made. Ugh, i'm never drinking again, i scolded myself. Squinting, I focused on the little alarm clock that was on the night stand. 10.34. Whoa, i cant remember the last time i slept this long. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I filled the glass with wather, rinsing my mouth a few times before gulping down two glasses. My stomach growled at it, i just hoped not to throw up .Taking a shower would be a wise thing to do, so i just threw the clothes i had off and entered the shower. The warm water felt good, i just let it pour over me for a while. I wrapped myself in the towel taking some painkillers for the headache. Getting back to the room, i dressed up, and sat on the bed. I felt a bit better, but still not enough. Coffee, i tought, thats what i need now. I got up, going for the purse i threw on the floor when i got in, searching for my phone. Shit, i cursed, it wsnt there. I checked every pocket, even Jake's hoodie, but my phone was nowhere to be found. Crap, i probably left it at a the Aurora last night, when Jessy and me wer taking pictures. Or at lest i hoped so. Well, i was going for coffee, so i could stop at the Aurora eitherway. I grabbed my backpack with drawing stuff. Who knows, i might be up for some drawing, no matter I still felt woozy from last night drinking. I putted my sneakers on, grabed my stuff and car keys. Walking wasnt an option this time, i wasnt feeling well enough for it.

When i parked my car infront of the Aurora, I saw Dan's car was still there. I smiled as i left the car, guess i wasnt the only one sleeping late today. I hoped Phil was there already, and my phone too. I entered the Aurora, relieved at the sight of Phil behind the bar. I was washed with the smell of coffee, and as i neared the bar, I pleadingly said to him, sitting on the stool „Please, please, please, tell me i'm not wrong and that is coffee i can smell.“ Phil turned arround , not noticing me when i entered. He grinned at me „You are most definitly right! Would you like some?“ „Yes, pretty please.“ I said, as i putted my hand on the bar, and leaned my head on it as on a pillow. Phil chuckled at me „Want any sugar with it? Or milk?“ „Yes, please.“ I replied, and he vanished through the storage doors. He returned with a big cup of coffe putting it infront of me. I rised my head, took the cup, taking a deep breath of its smell, before taking a big sip of it. „Thanks, Phill, you're my saviour:“ i smiled at him as i settled it back on the bar. „Here to help.“ He said, winking. „Rough night?“ he asked teasingly. „Oh, i dont know how you can be so cheerful.“ I started „I feel like a truck hit me lastnight.“ He laughed „Practice to perfection.“ „I think i would need years of practice to be even close to that kind of perfection!“ i said, making a skeptical face. He smiled at me „So, to what do i owe the pleasure?“ he asked. „Dont get me wrong, im glad to see you“ he said, that devilish spark in his eyes again „But i doubt you came just to see me.“ „You caught me.“ I said, even tho it was nice seeing him. „I was hoping that i might have left my phone here yesterday.“ He shook his head at me, crouching down searchin for a few seconds under the bar, giving me my phone as he got up. „Better be carefull next time, good thing i noticed it as you left.“ „Yay, thanks Phil, again.“ I told him, giving him a big smile. „I owe you big time! Both for the phone, and coffee.“ His phone rang then „Sorry business calling. Be right back“ he said, answering his phone and going through the storage door. I checked my phone with him gone, finding out few missed calls and messages from Jessy. She was worried i havent answered her jet, so i decided to call her while waiting for Phil. The tone barely sugested it rang when Jessy's voice boomed from the other side. „Finaly! Do you know how worried i have been? Are you allright? Where wer you? Why didnt you answer me before?“ It made me smile a bit, her worrying for me like that was so sweet. „Im sooooo sorry Jessy“ i said pleadingly „I left my phone at Aurora last night, i just got here to get it.“ Phil returned at that point, and i mouthed to him 'Jessy's' name, indicating who i was talking to. Her voice boomed again, and i moved my phone a bit from my ear, wich made Phil laugh. „Ofcourse you did! Its no wonder after all the whiskey you had! Dan is still sleeping like a log! You two really had it last night!“ „Aww, Dont be cross, Jessy.“ I started pleadingly again „I promise next time we wont over do it.“ Phil was grining at me now, and i stuck my toung at him, trying to calm Jessy down. „C'mon, you cant tell me you didnt have some fun yesterday.“ I started „I have some pictures on my phone as a proof of it.“ Phil threw his thumb up, showing me i said a good thing, and i grined at him. „Alright, i admit last night wasnt all that bad.“ Jessy started, sounding calmer now „But you're still not off the hook completly.“ „Thanks, Jessy“ i started, grining as a sign of victory to Phil. „You can scold me some more at lunch, if the deal for it still stands.“  „Ofcourse!“ Jessy cined cheerfuly from the other side „Dan will be a sleep for God knows how long, and im already bored here.“ I quickly moved my phone from the ear checking the time. „Its 12.20 now, when do you want us to meet?“. „I'll meet you around 14 at the Aurora. I doubt Phil will mind you hanging there with him till then.“ She replied, teasing me. „Somehow i think you're right.“ I said, looking at Phil with a devilysh smile. „Cya later, Jessy.“ I sadi, lovering my phone. Phil looked at me,a bit confused „Wat was that about?“ „Oh, just Jessy being Jessy.“ I told him, grining. „Fine, fine, be all mysterious.“ He teased me. „Awww, c'mon, you wouldnt find me so interesting if i was an open book.“ I told him, smiling sheepeshly. He looked at me, with that intensifing look again, making me feel heat spreading through my body „You're not wrong about that.“ Crap, what are you doing again, Maya, i scolded myself. Phil was definatly into me, and i was toying with him like this. It really wasnt my intention, i didnt want him to get the wrong impression about anything. But it felt so easy for me, talking to Phil, compared to Jake. Why does all have to be so tough and complicated with him? It feels like walking on egg shells every time im with him: dont do this, dont say that. Shit, it shouldnt be that way, should it? Was i really that much into Jake? Blah, i dont know anything anymore. I wish he would be more open with me, it would make things so much easier. I was lost in my toughts when Phil finaly snaped me back to reality „Maya? You allright?“ I looked at him, shaking my head,  to clear it from all the 'Jake' toughts. „Yeah, sorry.“ I started „Guess the coffee didnt kick in properly yet.“ Phil looked at me, and i could see he didnt really belive what i told him, but decided not to take the matter any further „If you say so.“ Was all he said. I smiled shyly at him. „Do you mind if i just hang here for an hour or so, before metting with Jessy? I dont feel up to driving back to motel, and the coffee isnt bad here either.“ I tried, smiling, waving my empty cup at him. Phil looked at me, rising one of his eyebrows, and smiled devilishly „How could i say no to a beautifull woman?“ He took my cup, winked at me vanishing through the storage doors. I could feel my cheeks flushing again, and my heart beating faster. Shit, shit, shit..

When Phil came back with another full cup of coffee i asked if its ok if I sit at one of the booths, to wich he said  fine, since he did have some work to be done. I took my stuff and coffee setteling at the booth. I had a bit over an hour before metting with Jessy, i hoped some inspiration for work might come to me. I took my stuff out of the backpack, took my sneakers off, sitting with my feet up on the booths perch. I liked drawing like that. Leaning my drawing pad on my knees i tried to focus on my work, but my toughts just kept wondering off.  I tought about Phil, sneaking glances towards the bar. He was good looking, always nice to me, even tho everyone warned me that he was a 'no good' considering women. He never showed any sign of it towards me. He was easygoing, i enjoyed his company, we definatly clicked. Then there is Jake. I was definatly drawn to him, cant deny that. When im near him, it feels like when a moth is drawn towards fire. Cant fight it, its driving me crazy. But nothing with him is easy. Its like taking one step forward, then not one, or even two, but ten steps back. Its so frustrating. And with all that had happened, i feel like all the progres we had was completly gone. My head was still too woozy for thinking of stuff like this. I setteled my drawing stuff down, taking my coffee, leaning back in the booth. Maybe Jessy would have some advice fore me. Two heads are smarter then one, or so they say. But i should definatly talk to Phil, at least try to explain things to him. I dont want him thinking im giving him some false hope here. As if he could sense my toughts, he turned around, took his coffee and walked towards me. „Mind if i join you?“ he asked, and i smiled „Ofcourse i dont. I guess my inspiration is still sleeping, so no work to be done at the moment.“ He grined „Thats good for me. I can have the pleasure of your company for some more then.“ I chuckled at that, siping some more of the coffee. But i tought again about talking with him about everything.  My face must have gotten some serious expression, 'couse Phil looked at me a bit serious, before asking „Whats bothering you, Maya? I have a feeling you want to talk to me about something.“ I looked at him, those deep eyes of his gazing intensly at me, trying to dig up my toughts. „I do.“ I admitted after a moment „But to be hones, i dont know how to start .“ „Well, just do your best.“ He said, and i started to get the feeling of a knot at my stomach again. „Allright.“ I said, but the words didnt come easy after that. „I like you, Phill.“ I said finaly after a moment of silence. He chuckled „Ok, thats a good start.“ „Ah, but that was the easy part.“ I started „Now comes the tricky one.“ I could notice him tensing a bit, like he knew where this might lead to. „Ok, go on then.“ He said. „I enjoy your company, talking to you, its so easygoing. I feel we clicked, that theres some 'spark' between us, and i know you noticed the same.“  „You're right about that.“ He replied. „But..“ i started, and Phil interupted me, sighing „Ahh, there it is, the famous 'but' part.“ „Please, Phil, just let me say what i have, then you can hate me.“ He looked at me, his face getting a soft touch „I couldnt hate you, Maya.“ „Dont say it untill im not done talking.“ I said, a bit sadness creeping to my voice. „Alright. Please, continue.“ „Ok. As i started earlier,i like you, but i dont want to get your hopes up.“ I settled my coffe on the table, my hands fidgeting with the cup. Why was this so hard? „Shit, Phil, im a complete mess at the moment.“ I started „I myself dont know what i want, and its tearing me up inside. There is someone, and i dont know where I stand with him. And i dont want to start something new, if im not a 100% sure that its the right thing, that its something i really want. With no loose ends catching up on me.“ I looked up at Phil, him still not taking his eyes off me. „Am i making any sense to you here?“ i asked, lovering my head. I really didnt want to have this conversation, but that was me being honest. All of a sudden, i could feel Phil's hand covering mine, and i looked back up at him. He still had that softness written all over his face. „I appriciate your honesty, Maya.“ He started „Now let me be honest also.“ „Ofcourse“ i said „I expect nothing less.“ „Good.“ He looked at me more serious now. „You know i like you, you said it yourself. I dont know why, but i felt drawn to you the moment i saw you. Theres something in you that makes a man bedazled by you, i cant explain it differently.“ He paused for a moment before continuing. „And i get it, you dont want to get into something half hearted. And i applaud you for that. Because, if anything was to happen between us, i wouldnt want it that way either.“ He looked at me now, his gaze intensifing again, and i started to feel that heat again. „If it was to happen“ he continued „I would prefere if you wer in it with every inch of your body and soul.“ I was mesmerized by his words. He was so open with me, the words came so easy to him. Why cant it be like this with Jake. „Allrighty, that was pretty honest there.“ I said finaly, making an aqward smile. „You wanted me to be honest.“ He said, adding „And just so you know, im not going to make it easy for you.“ He looked at me now, with that devilish spark in his eyes again. I looked at him puzzled „What do you mean by it?“ He grined at me „Its like this: i will continue to act like i did so far, and you can do the same, cause, lets face it, we both like it.“ His grin widened, and i smiled back at him. „Good, you get me. But, until i get a confirmation from you about freely taking it a step further, i will do whatever i can to maybe, just maybe, help you feel a bit less messy and steer thigs in my favore.“ „And what if it wont end as you hope it would? Can you be ok with just being my friend?“ i asked him. He looked at me for a moment, before answering. „Honestly“ he started“i cant say i wouldnt be dissapointed, a little hearth broken probably, but i would respect your choice. And yes, Maya, if that would be so, i would gladly be just your friend.“ “Thanks, Phil, i appriciate all you said.“ I told him „I was kinda affraid of having this conversation with you.“ „You, affraid? I cant belive that“ he said, teasingly „Belive me, i was scared as hell.“ I said, adding to it „But im glad we had it. I didnt want it to become aqward between us at some point.“ „Not gonna happen.“ He said, winking at me. I smiled „Shit, you know, even thou i had enough yesterday, i could actualy use a drink right now.“ Phil lughed so hard „Awww, you really did get scared. We are in a bar afterall, you just say the words and ill bring you that drink.“ He said, looking at me with one raised eyebrow. „Only if you join me“ i said, grining at him „ And if you dont tell Jessy about it.“ He got up from the booth, smiling and winking before he left for the bar „Deal!“

[allfortheaesthetic]

so now i’m going to post my reactions while watching jatp for the first time. enjoy (keep in mind i know a lot that happens because i got so spoiled because the internet)

1x01

“hollywood 1995” AHHHHHHHHHHHH i’m gonna cry

“sunset curve showcase sold out” MY SONS

“one two three” ALEX

i’m in public. don’t cry.

BOBBY HOLDING UP THE GUITAR

LUKES NOD AND THEN REGGIE BOUNCING OVER TO SHARE THE MIKE

THEYRE SO CUTE

BOBBY KICKING OFF THE DRUM STAND THINGY

“we ain’t searching for tomorrow” “tomoRROW”

THE GUITAR SWING

bobby!!!!!!!

you gotta appreciate them giving it their all for sound check

REGGIE’S WINK

THE HANDSHAKE/FIST BUMP THING

luke is an adorable puppy

so’s alex

NOT STREET DOGS

bobby “terrible flirting activated”

i mean he really tried the vegetarian

i relate tho because i also cannot flirt

“size beautiful” all y’all suck at flirting.

tho she got a free shirt so good for her.

i’m taking way too long to watch it because i keep pausing it to freak out. stupid second hand embarrassment

luke you did bobby dirty...i’d do it too.

yall i may be stupid but i would never eat hotdogs out of a CAR

“it’ll help with the rust” EXCUSE ME. NOPE. GO BACK INSIDE WITH BOBBY. BECOME VEGETARIAN

“that’s a new flavor” “chill, man, street dogs haven’t killed us yet” wow. yall stupid stupid.

okay. i know it’s sad. and i’m really upset about it. but the cut from the eating to the ambulance made me laugh so hard.

I HATE HOW THEYRE ALLOWED TO WEAR HATS IN SCHOOL IN EVERY KIDS SHOW BECAUSE ITS A LIE. A L I E

“hey underachiever” “hey disappointment” wow. that’s accurate best-friend representation. also damn flashbacks to my parents.

FLYNN IS NOW MY WIFE “demon”

ight so carrie may be... bitchy. but damn she’s got style.

matter of fact so does julie. and flynn. damn they’re all just better than me huh.

i love how the teacher says “take your time” like i know how it talks about how she said it was julie’s last chance but her being kind about it makes my anxiety ridden self wish my teachers were like that.

i love ray.

also the old instruments. i’m dying on the hill that bobby gave the house to rose and asked her to keep them.

THE CD OOOOOOH

poor julie was just vibing and then they show up 😂😂 also i love her slippers.

the crucifix!!

luke “that’s definitely not my six string” “can you give me a second? just one second!”

“maybes she’s a witch” god i love reggie

alex saying he’s got a softer touch and then loudly saying “why are you in our studio” these himbos

“it was gonna change our lives” “i’m pretty sure it did” i love these boys

“i’ve been crying for 25 years! how is that possible?!” “well you’re a very emotional person” “i am nOt”

“i-im luke by the way and this is” “reggie. i’m reggie. hey” “alex how’s it going” “ba-da” i love these boys so much it’s unreal.

they just hopped through that front door so cheerily.

luke really just wanting to play music where no one can see them 😂😂

she’s so good. i stg it’s not fair. i wish i had that talent.

1x02

i love flynn an unreal amount yall. and julie. and their friendship #doubletrouble

their clothes are still there?????? bobby???

reggie and luke crying because of ray

THEY REMEMBERED BOBBY

“guess that vegetarian lucked out” EXCUSE ME. MY MANS HAD THREE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS DIE AND HE “lucked out”

honestly i love the casual way it handles alex being gay. like it’s not a huge thing. he’s just gay and that’s how it deserves to be.

ALEX DOING THE BEAT ON HIS BODY OH MY GOD.

i’m gonna cry this is so cute.

the way luke ruined that sandwich for her by bringing up the hotdogs

damn. say what you will but dirty candy gets me hyped.

1x03

luke hurt about reggie saying julie should be the lead singers is the embodiment of this emoji 🥺

WILLIE

“i’m actually i think you’re joking her band” FLYNN IS MY QUEEN

1x04

the high school musical vibes tho

“one of us isn’t there. we had a blowout in 2031. my moneys in alex. he’s just so sensitive”

THEYRE IN THE MUSEUM. THEY HELD HANDS.

oh no. oh no. oh nonononono. they’re about to find out about bobby and the songs. i’ve got a who lot of feelings about this but i’m not about to go into a whole rant about that so.

willieeeeeeeeee

1x05

okay. calebs a bad guy i know. but the other side of hollywood is a BOP

and willie was looking nice!

but i feel bad for julie

and honestly is getting back at bobby worth all this?

1x06

honestly if i was julie and i had to partner up with my crush i would simply pass away. that would be it.

honestly reggie. fixing an amp in the rain???

their little sorry song is so cute.

i’m gonna cry. the way he’s sitting on that counter so sad and his parents setting out a cake. ahhhhhh 😭😭

okay i love tia victoria

1x07

reggie. i love you. your hearts in the right place but i don’t think this is going to end well.

i love ray

and i love reggie and ray’s, one sided, relationship

“and don’t you look shArp” the way he says sharp. i can’t y’all. 😂😂

poor nick getting called luke

luke’s hair oh my god!!!!

willie and alex! i’m gonna cry!

“girls am i right?” “no❤️”

willie! 😫 my poor son

1x08

yall. watching them get ready to go is depressing. like reggie saying “i’m gonna miss them” but oh my god unsaid emily

poor julie. her life’s going good and then BAM caleb. she even rejected nick?!?!

tho that artwork is good

and the poor guys.

1x09

yall it says panic at the disco! no exclamation point tho.

“i’d do anything for you” WHEN I TELL YOU I DROPPED MY PHONE I MEAN IT

“only love baby”

fucking caleb.

julie looks so nice!!!!

bobby!!!!!!!

his look that he gives carrie when she says, “been here before”

bobby looks so sad! those are his boys!!!

you know bobby probably think “wtf is up with luke’s hair”

julies gonna make me cry i stg

AHHHHH IT HURTS EVEN THO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

damn poor nick.

tho caleb be looking stylish and steampunky

aaaaaand now i’m gonna put the soundtrack on repeat. deuces yall ✌🏼

[kuiinncedes]

PROMPT LIST? cheerio!tina & skank!quinn, angst #37, quinntina ofc

yes prompt list!! sorry this took so long, thanks sm for prompting sim <33

some pre-notes: first that wow this got long again 😂 2398 words (before probably some edits in the tumblr post editor) *oops i did it again*

1 2 3 these are my other three (very short) “installments” for this “verse” i guess 🤪 i wouldn’t say it’s required to read them tho i think everything is pretty understandable 🥰

this also got a little anti rachel lol 🥴 and anti schue but like yeah and i think that’s it 😗

Angst 37: “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

--

Glee club has been going well… all things considered.

Including the fact that Quinn’s crush on Tina only grows, that Rachel Berry still doesn’t seem to warm up to her and Kurt’s presence in the choir room, that the teacher really kind of sucks and apparently only Kurt and Quinn see it, that most of the other members are still wary around them - around Quinn.

But not Tina. Tina, who’s one of the most popular girls in school, not actually head of the Cheerios but probably the most well-liked, and there’s a reason. Tina is the first to welcome her and Kurt to the glee club after their audition, the first to make an effort to befriend them. She talks to Kurt about fashion, and Kurt is hesitant to bring down his facade but Quinn can tell how much he loves it, how much he’s missed talking about something that brings him so much joy. Even with his temporary and purposely limited wardrobe situation, he’s talked Quinn’s ear off about the things he wants to do and wear in New York City; she doesn’t understand much of it so she’s glad Tina does.

And she talks to Quinn. Tina actually talks to Quinn like… like she’s a person, just another student at this school, not Quinn Fabray, half of the most cold and closed-off duo that walks the halls, ex-most popular girl in school, Quinn Fabray with an unspeakable history, unspeakable in that Quinn will have consequences for those who speak about it. 

It’s dramatic, she knows. But it’s part of her untouchable image at this piece of shit school with its horrible students. 

Not Tina. Tina’s not horrible.

(Get a grip, Fabray.)

It feels like she and Kurt are on the edge of a precipice with glee club. Tina likes them, Blaine is nice enough to them (Kurt seems to like him, too), Rachel isn’t very welcoming, everyone else mostly ignores them. (Which is fine - preferable, really.)

They sway in the back, they sing, they do their part. And Quinn has missed singing, so it’s not all bad, she supposes.

But Quinn can feel the tension, the others’ hesitation whenever she and Kurt walk in to sit in the back, their unspoken thoughts, loud in their silence, their barely hidden glances.

She feels like she’ll tumble from the edge with one push.

One day, Tina sits beside Quinn and she can’t stop her jump of surprise. Tina just shoots her a small smile and moves her chair a bit further away, but Quinn finds herself wishing she would scoot the other way instead.

Tina keeps sitting by Quinn, and Quinn has no idea why.

She ignores the way her heart speeds up a little every time she makes eye contact with Tina, the way Kurt smirks knowingly at her but then returns to staring at the back of Blaine Anderson’s head, the way she can’t stop letting her eyes wander over to Tina every time Mr. Schuester starts talking about something she has no interest in (which she admits is very often).

Kurt had said glee would give her the chance to talk to Tina. And he was right - she’s made conversation with Tina multiple times (mostly initiated by Tina, though), and she would say they’re friends. Tina has said they’re friends and she definitely didn’t freak out to Kurt about it.

Kurt she called me her friend holy shit -

Inside voice, honey. Your gay is showing.

Shut - we’re literally outside. Let’s talk about you and Blaine.

Nope, fuck you, walking away now.

Kurt - wait! She - but she called me her friend - Kurt -

Besides Kurt, Tina is probably the person she’s closest with. Which still doesn’t say much - she’s not close to anyone besides Kurt…

But she wants to be, she thinks as she watches Tina perform an upbeat solo, a song she doesn’t recognize, but she watches her - how alive she looks, how good she sounds. It’s not like Quinn hasn’t heard her sing in the months since she’s joined, but if she had it her way, Tina would be the only one singing in this entire group. (She would insist on highlighting others, though, so Quinn adds herself and Kurt to that list. Not that they would ever get a solo.)

“All right, guys,” Mr. Schuester says. Kurt nudges Quinn with his elbow to get her to pay attention, and she shoots him a half-hearted glare. 

“So that was everyone who signed up to audition for a solo at regionals,” he continues. “I’ll let you know who we’re featuring by tomorrow. So I’ll see you then!”

“Who do you think is gonna get it?” Kurt asks as they leave, walking out to the parking lot. 

“Um…” 

“Right, I forgot, you’re too busy staring at Tina to know what’s going on in glee.”

Quinn scoffs. “I know what’s going on in glee.”

Kurt gives her a questioning look.

“I do! Sure, I didn’t know about the auditions, but I know Rachel’s probably getting the solo, even though it should go to Tina.”

“Anyone could tell you that.”

Quinn shoves Kurt lightly, a smile spreading across her face as they get into his car. Quinn’s been spending more time at Kurt’s lately - Quinn’s parents don’t give a fuck about her - they did the bare minimum allowing her to stay when she was pregnant and they’ve used up all their good parenting cards, it seems. She’s infinitely grateful for Burt Hummel, because if the kids and some of the teachers at school are going to treat her and Kurt like shit, at least there’s someone in their corner.

-

Completely unsurprisingly, Mr. Schuester announces Rachel as the soloist for regionals the next day, after years of the same thing, from what Quinn has heard.

Surprisingly, Tina isn’t in the room. Although, Quinn thinks, she wouldn’t be either if she knew what the outcome was going to be. And everyone knew what the outcome was going to be.

But Mercedes pushes back against his decision anyway, Santana complains, Blaine and Brittany try to placate, Kurt watches Blaine, Rachel jabbers about her destiny as the New Directions soloist or something, Quinn sits and wonders about the empty chair next to her. (She also wonders what would be the easiest way to get Rachel to shut the fuck up.)

She’s not paying attention, letting everyone’s arguing fade into the background. She barely registers Rachel saying shrilly, “We’re supposed to be a family!”

“Not much of a family when you’re the only one who can have anything good!” Mercedes snaps.

“I bet you wouldn’t react like this if Kurt or Quinn got the solo! Like they would even deserve it! At least I belong here, they don’t even - ”

“Would you shut - ” Mercedes starts at the same time Santana yells back, “Quinn doesn’t need a family, she’s a mother!”

And she knows - Quinn knows - that Santana just does this, she says shit and hurts people and this is just that and it’s whatever but -

Suddenly Quinn is in sophomore year again, hearing the taunts of her classmates behind her back and to her face. Suddenly she’s in sophomore year again, somehow invisible in the halls but also the only person anyone was looking at, pointing at, laughing at. She’s in sophomore year again and teachers do nothing to help her, no one but Kurt bothers to notice anything but the fact that she’s pregnant. And they laugh, and they taunt, and they stare.

She’s a mother. 

There it is. There’s the edge of the cliff that she has been fighting for balance on in this stupid club for months. 

Like they would even deserve it.

They don’t belong here.

And Quinn’s falling.

“I need to go, meet you at your car,” she says roughly to Kurt, who it seems hasn’t been paying attention at all, more focused on committing to memory the details of Blaine Anderson from halfway across the room. Quinn storms out and the arguing continues behind her.

Quinn slams the door to the bathroom as she barges in and all at once, sees that Tina is here (Tina is here?), realizes that she herself is crying, trying not to make noise and she just throws her bag on the floor and sinks down against a wall, hands around her knees and head leaned back. It’s too fucking much.

“Quinn?” Tina asks gently, so gently and Quinn watches as Tina kneels down in front of her. “Are you okay?”

Quinn wipes at her face, laughing harshly. “Yeah. Fine.”

Tina looks at her, not moving but just watching her. Quinn thinks it must be uncomfortable for her to kneel on the bathroom floor in her Cheerios outfit. Quinn thinks that Tina shouldn’t care about her, she should just leave, save her knees from the cold tile.

She doesn’t leave. 

After a moment, Tina says, “Hey, so, you don’t have to tell me anything… but I’m here if you need to.”

Quinn’s not actively crying anymore, grey smudges on her fingers where her makeup was wiped off. Her face probably looks like a nightmare, but she’s too exhausted to care. She leans her head back again and fixes her gaze just above Tina’s head, at the ceiling, the harsh bathroom lights piercing her vision through the tears in her eyes.

“I just - ” I guess I’m talking, she thinks, “Santana said something dumb about me being a mother and that’s what I heard sneered at me every day for months and even now still… and I’m not…”

Quinn trails off, looking at Tina again who nods, encouraging her to continue. She swallows and averts her gaze again.

“…and Rachel said something dumb about Kurt and I not belonging and not deserving it but she’s Rachel and I don’t care about the shit she says - I usually don’t. But her saying that - ” she scoffs. “Newsflash, Rachel, we don’t fucking belong anywhere.”

That was painfully made obvious sophomore year, with Quinn’s exit from the Cheerios, from popularity. It was obvious when no matter what, she couldn’t get it back, any of it. It was obvious when she and Kurt were the only ones to really notice each other and help each other. It was obvious when the only choice they had, the one they took, was becoming this and isolating themselves. It was obvious when the only chance they had was each other.

As if she needs someone else to tell her that, to rub it in.

It’s been building up, she realizes, this feeling, the hatred, the estrangement and isolation. She wonders if Kurt feels the same, how close he is to the edge, or if he’s even on a precipice like she is at all.

Quinn’s falling, she doesn’t know when or how it will end and she just wants -

“Lie to me,” she says to Tina, teeth clenched and voice tired. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Falling, falling, falling - 

Quinn thinks bitterly that she should be used to it after her falls from popularity.

Tina takes her hands gently and squeezes them in reassurance. “I know this might just seem like words, and I’m not lying - you do belong. Both of you. You belong in glee club. You belong here.”

Quinn just swallows again, letting the words wash over her, and in the back of her mind, the part that’s not thinking about - everything, she marvels at the fact that Tina is holding her hands, and Tina’s skin is soft, and Tina’s words and actions feel genuine.

Falling… slowing.

Lie to me.

“We don’t belong. Everyone hates us,” Quinn mutters.

“I don’t,” Tina says, smiling a little. “I know we can be pretty difficult, the glee club, but we really don’t think that. Rachel might - if I’m being honest, I think she’s the one who doesn’t belong in glee club, for a multitude of reasons - but it really is supposed to be a safe, welcoming space. I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to do that for you.”

Quinn shrugs. “You have,” she admits softly. 

Tina looks like she doesn’t know what to say to that. Quinn pushes herself up against the wall, a little awkwardly, hands still intertwined with Tina’s, who squeezes again. “I’ll talk to her,” Tina says. “Rachel. I’ve been getting fed up with her shit, anyway. I’ve been needing to talk to her.”

“Okay,” is all Quinn can think to say, quietly uttered, her voice a little choked. “You don’t have to - ”

“No, I do,” Tina says. “And I want to. Mr. Schue lets her get away with way too much.”

Quinn huffs a laugh and Tina grins slightly, then withdraws her hands and pulls them through her ponytail, suddenly looking almost nervous. Quinn drops her hands in her lap and plays with her rings. Now that Quinn’s calmed down, her proximity-to-Tina-Cohen-Chang-induced nerves are back in full force. 

And maybe she isn’t falling anymore.

“Why weren’t you there today?” she asks after a moment.

Tina’s lips clench into a line. “Knew Rachel was getting the solo. I don’t know, I didn’t want to deal with that today, you know? Three years of the same shit, I’m just tired of it.”

Quinn hums in understanding. She can imagine.

“Are you okay? What do you say we… get out of here? Go somewhere?” Tina asks a little awkwardly, wincing slightly as she stands up and extends a hand for Quinn. She takes it and lets Tina pull her up.

“I’m actually… going home with Kurt, ” - but going somewhere with Tina - Kurt will understand - “actually, yeah, sure. I’ll let him know,” Quinn answers, not letting herself doubt the decision, pulling her phone from her pocket and quickly typing out a text and sending it to Kurt, who immediately responds.

omg did u actually talk and get a date with tina cohen chang

Quinn replies, fuck you, i’m leaving bye

are you okay?

yeah, fine i’ll talk to you later

ok have fun on your date ;)

yeah 🖕

Tina bounces a little and shoots her a smile when she puts her phone away. “Awesome. There’s this coffee shop that I think you’ll love - ”

“It’s not the Lima Bean, is it?”

Tina laughs. “Of course not. Barely anyone knows about this place, at least from school, so I really love it there.”

Tina grabs Quinn’s hand again and they head out of the school, Quinn ignoring how she can feel her pounding heartbeat against Tina’s skin. Hopefully Tina doesn’t notice.

*****

some notes for after 🤪

ok so i don’t really know why i used the “she’s a mother” line and idk if i’m just overthinking it but i’m not saying that scene was bad or anything ?? idk lol it was just on my mind i guess so i put it in slkdgfj (basically,, not related to the canon scene lol i just like adding canon lines 😗)

i think the point i was trying to make if any was that quinn doesn’t really have any family (in this au) so yeah it’s kind of a sensitive point

i did say this was very similar to my previous werewolf!quinn and vampire!tina fic but i’m okay with it now tbh,,, you know like it’s an alternate universe and they just help each other in all universes :’) yeah

i would love to continue this but i don’t have the best track record with that lol so we’ll see 😂

[geminifeed1]

Revival

Warnings: none for now. 

MonstaX  ft. Got7

Pairing : Changkyun x reader.

WC: 1k. 

Author’s note: This my first on here guys so please bear with me. I don’t know where this is going it could changes real fast lol. but it’s fluff for this part.

____________________

Part1 / Part2 / Part3 / Part4 / Part5 / Part6

It's finally my birthday party. All my friends are here. every thing looks nice. Just like what i wanted. I can never forget this night because its the night i met him.

"Hey! birthday girl" someone calling for me.

I turned my head to the voice, it was Jooheon. "Heeey Jooheony! You came!"

"Of course! Happy 21 years old little one!" He raised his hand for a high five.

"Thaank you bro!" I slapped his hand. I was about to tell him I'm not little anymore so he should stop saying that, That's when I noticed the person next to him, he was just staring at me with a grin.

"Right! y/n, meet my best friend, Im Changkyun. " I already know that.

He held out his hand and i took it: "Hi!"

"Hi.. Nice to meet you"

"Pleasure is all mine." Still grinning at me. I hope I don't look as swoon as I feel. "Happy birthday!"

"..thank you." After greeting everyone, and dancing a little i decided i needed a little break. I go to the kitchen to take a diet coke from the fridge. I've never liked alcohol and i'm not about to change my mind legal or not. so it's either this or coffee. I'd like to be aware of what i'm doing and remember it later, thank you.

"Having the time of your life?"

"I am actually!" i laughed rising my diet coke.

He raised an eyebrow with a smile.. "Shouldn't you celebrate being finally legal?"

Yugyeom entered the kitchen to take more snacks: "She's a control freak." and left  just like that. Sheeesh Gyeom-ah thanks a lot.

Smiling I raised my eyebrows and shoulders in an "oh well" gesture.

"Um.. well since this is my first time officially meeting you, I didn't know what to get you to be honest, and this is all I could think of." Giving me his biggest grin, he held out the bouquet to me. I stared at it without moving.. Blue peonies. he continued “ I heard that you don't like flowers, but these reminded me of you i couldn't resist. you can throw them if u want. “ 

"I don't get it." I took the bouquet and looked at it then back at him. "What is it about these flowers? You could've got me cactus."

"I told you they remind me of you." Flashing me a smile. I like his smile. I hate that i like his smile.

"But why? is it because.. of my hair? Same color." I raised an eyebrows at him.

He laughed "Maybe. Maybe not."

What does that even mean?.... "You're weird.."

"Says the girl who doesn't like flowers" he have a point. "What's your deal with flowers anyway? what did they ever do to you?"

"Flowers are so overrated! Yeah they look pretty, they smell nice for some people not me though because it gives me headache. but colors fade and scent disappears, and what you're left with is lifeless, wilted and diseased."

"hmm..."

"Cactus on the other hand, are fearless. I don't want to be a flower, I want to be a cactus with strong thorns.. no matter how big or small, they are untouchable."

He raised an eyebrow, grinning:  "Interesting.."

"But thank you, for thinking of me anyway.. and the blue peonies."

"You know what they called!" He looked at his feet, then back at me again. "Then I guess you'll eventually find out."

"Find out what?"

"Why they remind me of you." He winked and started to walk away. "Happy birthday again y/n. I hope you have a very lucky year. " as he left the kitchen.

I'm still stuck in my place, looking at the door he left from.. whats going on?.. then back at my flowers. What the..?...

__________________

Couple weeks later,

I was visiting my friends’s house. I didn't know their friends would be there, ok i lied, i did. I saw Jooheon on Jackson's story, and  i was kinda hoping that a certain person is here too. I don't know what is it about this guy that's making me so obsessed. His name was in all my searches since my birthday. It's embarrassing. Its making me feel like an idiot. And to my fake surprise he was indeed here. I can see him through the big glass door, he was sitting by the pool talking on his phone outside. God why am i excited for no reason.

He kept glancing my way. And i unintentionally kept losing the battle with myself half listening to Jinyoung talking half glancing back at him. Admiring his body, his back tattoo, his hair..

Yugyeom suddenly chimed in out of nowhere "He's hot huh! don't dream big girl i don't think crazy is his type."

Bambam joined : “yeah i agree..”

"ohmyGOD you two leave me in peace, gooo" i had a feeling they'd embarrass me if they get a chance so i gotta kick them out.

"Whatever i gotta go and enjoy my snacks anyway byyye crazy you"

Bambam running behind him shouting “skrrrrt”

"Byyyye Dumbassss" laughing. 

Changkyun finished his call, and came over to where me and Jinyoung were sitting. "Oh hi y/n! I didn't know you'd be here today, I would've.... "

"What? brought a certain blue thing?" I was only teasing him.

"Not sure you'd want more of those."

"I don't know.. they're kind of growing on me. Just a little tiny bit" pointing with my fingers how much. "but not sure about the smell tho."

He smiles. it's so adorable that i smile too. His eyes never left mine.

"I was gonna say dress up a little to impress you, but it doesn't matter cuz i look good in whatever." he winked.

"you wish it was that easy" rising my eyebrow but sill smiling i can't help it.

But life wont let me have it, because his phone rang again.. he looked at his screen "Well i better take this. Work never ends."

He looked at me for a moment before he left to take the call.  

Jinyoung's voice startled me, i forgot he was here "It's like the two of you have your own language"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Come to think of it, he's exactly your type. you guys would be perfect for each other. Are you sure you're not dating?"

"I'm pretty sure i would know if i was in a relationship with anybody. sheesh."

Funny thing is by the end of that night, he did indeed ask me for my number and i don’t care if this is going anywhere or its just a casual friend thing. I was looking forward to whatever coming. 

_________________________ 

To Be Continued. 

[your--isgayrights]

Okay i actually have no clue on how tumblr works (hope I'm doing this right lmao) but I'm writing my first fic (I still can't really move on from orv so I decided to make my own content lol.), I really love your writing style, do you have any tips??

Hmmmm tips tips tips tips.... First of all I’m really flattered that you like my writing enough to ask me about it! I’ll try to give my best answer... I think that I used to read a lot of people’s “writing tips” but ultimately I ended up not really understanding them until I started writing a lot? Either way it’s fun to read how other authors think... It’s really cool that you’re writing your first fic and you thought to come to me... did I already say that? Okay long post under the cut.

I don’t think this will be all that helpful, but this is just things that I think about if that’s interesting!

For me a lot of writing is like struggling with motivation (I have ADHD so that’s probs why), I really have to pace myself while writing because I can’t just force myself to do it. If I go in every day and think “I have to write today I’m not doing anything so I should be writing” I can get burnt out really easily, even if I really like the thing I’m writing and know how it’s supposed to go. So one of my big things is that when I’m not thinking about writing I’m not thinking about writing. that gives my brain a break and refreshes me when I get back to my google document.

Something I’ve also struggled with having to remember is that there’s like. Never a perfect way to write. What I end up doing is thinking up ideas and fragments and sentences in my head and the very moment I think of something I like I have to write it down in my notes app. Most of my writing process ends up being like. Filling in the blanks and connecting the dots between scene fragments. 

For fics in particular I’d also just recommend rereading your favorite parts of the og work! I’m the kind of person who has a pretty good reading memory, so people may have noticed that I include a lot of little details referencing the text in my fic. Just reading the work kind of helps you remember the voices of the character and the style of the narration, and if you just like. internalize it. you can probably replicate it pretty well if you wanted to.

OKAY I say that but don’t worry too much about replicating things in the og work perfectly. I find that a lot of times when I’m writing I’m inserting a lot of personal touches and putting things that are a part of me in the work. Writing is always going to be like. an extension of your voice, no matter what you’re writing. I think that when I heard about stuff like that from authors in the past I was always like. What? I’m not writing about things that happened to me. I’m writing about grown adult men having emotional issues, silly. But there’s like a lot more nuance to writing about yourself, I guess. Like you don’t have to have like a self insert or be projecting onto a character to have yourself reflected in something you’ve written.

I’d say that like, whatever you write as your first fic is going to be lovely, but when you grow up as a writer and look back on it, you’re not going to remember who you were when you wrote it. I think that’s why a lot of people look back on their first works and are like “I can’t believe I wrote that, what was I thinking, cringe cringe cringe ugh.” Like I definitely do that sometimes, but I’ve found that the old work I’m happiest with nowadays is the stuff where I can recognize myself in it, even if I’m not in that fandom anymore or if there’s old jokes or typos I don’t remember making. 

With that being said, I’m the kind of person who always gives myself a mission statement when I’m writing. I sort of mentally go, okay, I’m writing this kind of thing, and this is why I’m writing it. It can be something like oh I’m writing this fluff piece because I love this character and wish they had a happier ending, or  oh I want to write this multi chapter fic exploring an issue touched on in the original work but I feel like with my own experiences I could expand on it more than the author did. Just something that tells me why it is important to me to write this thing when I’m writing it.

AAAH I feel like I made that sound more dramatic than it really is, that’s just how I think I guess. I’m the kind of guy where its like things need to have like MEANING to me when I do them. I’m dramatic and gay and that’s my personality I guess 😔.

Hmmm maybe it’s also my BIGGEST writing tip tho. Like kind of just thinking things through when you’re writing is pretty important. When I was first learning to write at all (talking about baby baby me here this is like sort of a side tangent sorry) I think that a lot of times I would copy phrases and developments that I had liked in things that I had read without really fully considering why I would include those things other than the fact that that was just what I thought writing was. It’s important to consider what importance every scene and sentence has to do with the flow of the story. Are they just things that are happening, or is there a reason that the audience needs to know these things? The weight of your words should have some sort of consequence as a result of you writing them. Are you telling the audience information they need to know? Is it about how the character feels? What does this say about the character? Etc.

I suppose that’s sort of my own writing style. You’ll probably notice that I don’t write a lot of descriptive prose if you read my fic. The thing about me is that I never want to write something that makes my audience question why they’re reading it, I guess. I’m sort of self conscious and think about the reading experience a lot. All of the things I choose to describe are usually so that the reader can understand where people are in the scene and what emotions they are having. There’s a lot of emphasis that I put in like. A reader’s ability to read into things, which works against me sometimes because I’m not always certain if people picked up on different things that I put a lot of thought into (the curse of being seen... sob).

ALSO use paragraph breaks. In my first fic (that I’m not going to tell anyone what is even though its on ao3 because im shy) the thing I always regret the MOST is that there are big chunky paragraphs that are hard to read through at the start. Like my eyes get lost. I mentioned I have ADHD before but even though I like. physically can’t read a big chunky paragraph I will always write them that way if left to my own devices. Paragraph breaks don’t have to just be broken up by dialogue they can be wherever you feel like doing them. You need a lot of them. This post should probably have more of them... oh my god it’s so long...

OKAY FOR REAL THOUGH IF YOU COULDN”T SLOG THROUGHT THE REST OF THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP IS RIGHT HERE: 

JUST LET YOURSELF WRITE

I have a lot of like. academic trauma, so maybe this is just me, but the reason I didn’t write fic until I was like 16 was because I was always really scared that whatever I wrote wouldn’t be good enough for some impossible standard I was setting for myself. I was always telling myself that I had certain bad writing habits or that I was terrible for never being able to focus on things for very long and all of my projects were doomed to failure before I even started. But then I wrote my first like 8 chapter fic in the summer of my junior year and I was like... oh. that wasn’t so bad. Like. It’s okay to know your limits, but you don’t really know them until you start writing. Like I wrote an 8 chapter fic, and then a few one shots, and then I tried to take on a very complicated project that ended up being over 40 chapters and I had to put it down because I just wasn’t really at the writing level to finish it. I would advise against writing fics that take so long to write that you start hating the way you wrote the first chapter, basically lol. Know how whatever you’re writing is supposed to begin and end before you start writing it.

Nowadays I always have like. plot outlines in my head when I start a fic. Like okay this needs to happen here this needs to happen here etc. I like making lists if it seems to overwhelming when I’m writing something long, just to organize my thoughts. 

OKAY I JUST TALKED A LOT. SORRY IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO READ ALL OF THIS BUT I’M A LITTLE CHATTY IF YOU DIDN’T NOTICE.

Defo feel free to dm me if you have like questions or just want to chat about orv or whatever. I’m a lonely little man out here floating on my pile of words, and I’d love to hear what your fic is about!! 

[carnelianfoxx]

idk how to say this and it’s gonna sound creepy but these are some unstructured thoughts here we go

ok. ive tried to type this five times and not sound strange because this sounds really weird. but maybe you guys here will understand

sorry if the readmore doesn’t work

let’s start at the beginning.

i had to be less than 10 years old and i would tell my parents i wished i was a girl. my mom would always handle it. “god made you how you should be”. every time. i knew nothing about sex. i just knew i wished i was a girl. that shut me up for 24 years.

but this was the first time i acknowledged some kind of a voice inside me.

fast forward. still young. i started “liking” women/girls. i wished i could be friends with them, be a part of their group. there was one girl i was absolutely fascinated with. she was beautiful. this voice started screaming louder, despite me not knowing what it was even saying. imagine how confused and angry i was when i was actually sexually attracted to men. i hated myself and fought it. “how can I feel this way about women when I’m not sexually attracted to them?”

fast forward. i’ve come to terms with being gay. it’s taken me my entire life. these feelings for women remain. especially wlw stuff, that means so much to me. there’s still this voice without words i can’t figure out. what is this voice saying??? for the love of christ what is this voice that I’ve been hearing for years trying to say to me???

i know now. what it was telling me at the beginning. what it was telling me when i saw a beautiful girl in middle school. what it tells me when i see any beautiful woman, and it doesn’t matter who they fucking are. what it screams at the top of its lungs every chance i gave it any kind of air.

I desperately wish I could be like you.

that’s it!!!!!! that’s what it’s saying!!!!!!! i wish i could be a woman!!!!!!!!!! that’s it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that’s where this comes from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this voice was screaming for my entire life and I finally get it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you might say “nathan you’ve talked about not being cis before tho” and you’re right. I’ve known I’m not cis. but christ, when I finally understood what this voice was saying I cried and cried.

maybe ill talk a little more about it but idk, all i know is that i gave these feelings a centimeter to express themselves mentally and it took a mile. I’ll never be able to express it IRL/physically for years, and I think it means i may go back to the hospital one day. but at least I can be honest and truthful to myself. if i die, i’ll die knowing who i am. that’s more than many people who’ve lived their entire lives can say, i guess.