#i guess i should be grateful we take a break in the summer
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Once more, I am frustrated with attempting to compete in multiple sports. I also don't want/can't afford to trial every single weekend.
I am now looking at how many events I may want to do in the next...six months. It all depends on priorities/goals.
I'm like...do I want to qualify for NADAC Champs? You don't have to qualify to get in, but you're not guaranteed entry unless you qualify. I dunno if this is a realistic goal considering how I suspect Mud feels about the sport and how freaking stressed out about his body I would be ALL YEAR. Though it is NADAC and he will be a Skilled/Vet dog, so he can jump 12". There's only 2 runs a day over 4 days. I think Sunday there's only one now. Can I afford it? I might be able to write off some expenses if I were to get a vendor booth (which is likely.) Qualification for Elite is 100 pts in the current year in Regular and/or Chances. A Q is usually 10 points. Sometimes can be 5, sometimes can be more (but I'm not doing bonus boxes/lines with Mud, lol.) Pre-elite is 80 points, no more than 120 pts can come from Elite Qs in the dog's life.
Which leads me to priorities/goals and having to choose between events. This month, I'm entered in two AKC trials. There's a NADAC trial and a scent work trial sandwiched between them. I was not planning to enter either of those events. BUT If I want to qualify for Champs, I probably should enter a day of the NADAC trial. I don't really feel like driving 1.5 hours to the shows 3 weekends in a row. I have made finishing Novice AKC agility titles a priority, since they've kind of got a time limit and are not as common as they used to be. I also will not run AKC on fake turf, which limits the trials available. Hopefully we'll knock this out in the two shows I am entered in.
The following weekend starts February and the sheltie club is hosting an agility trial. I kind of wanted to go volunteer and support the club offering more than conformation, even though I'm not a member yet (I've attended enough meetings to get approved, tho.) Then there are events the next THREE WEEKENDS. Junior Handler agility trial (NADAC) and carting and a scent work trial I'm not going to enter because they aren't offering all 4 elements each day are on one day. A NADAC trial the following weekend (good judges). The next weekend is a scent work trial that have considered entering.
There's a little bit of a breather after that in March...unless he doesn't finish his AKC titles in January. There's one of those the first weekend of the month. Mid-March there is a NADAC trial 1.5 hours away and then local trials start up the next weekend. However, the weekend of the local trial I have an art show thing (yay income), and the other day of that weekend is the first WCRL Rally trial. I'd really like to support that new venture, but like...if I want to go to Champs, I should go to the agility trial, right?
I had not really made any plans to compete in scent work until the dog club's local trial in April. Since I still wasn't sure what Mud's stomach would be doing. He seems to be tolerating trials ok again. Turns out "our" trial is the same weekend as a NADAC trial. Do I want to qualify for Champs? There's actually not much on my calendar for this month, just 2 things on the same weekend. Looks like ASCA trials start back up this month. Do I want to spend time/money on ASCA rally or agility?????
May actually doesn't appear to have any conflicting event weekends. Just stuff every weekend. Local NADAC trial, followed by a less local NADAC trial in a nice covered arena. I think Mud likes dirt surfaces, so would be fun to go to that. Then there's ASCA rally and obedience alternating over 4 days the next weekend. After that, there's a LOCAL!!! ORT!!! I will finally hand over the annual member fee for NACSW. (I still dislike that it is annual. I'm not even guaranteed to trial unless I make it my life to travel like come on.)
Then there's a local NADAC trial the next weekend in June. That's the last trial on the calendar right now that happens before the Champs qualification deadline in August.
If I entered every NADAC trial available starting in February (minus the one day of the art show), we would have 42 opportunities to get 8 or 10 Qs (depending on what levels I decided to enter and collect points in). If I don't enter the weekends we have things, we've got 30...if I enter both days of the shows I have to drive 1.5 hours for. That's 3 shows. So, if I only chose to enter one day of those three, and pick the day with maximum opportunities, I have 24. If I scale that back, and don't enter February because I decide to enter the JH trial or go to the carting show and enter scent work, so I'm not at dog events 3 weekends in a row, that's 20. Twenty-two if I enter the JH trial instead of just visiting the carting show.
What's tough about choosing scent work or agility at this point is like...I know Mud likes scent work better, but I don't really have goals for it? He's also in Advanced now and I'm not sure we are ready for Excellent yet, so I'd probably dink around in Advanced until I felt more confident about his skills at a trial. Since he doesn't even seem to really love trialing anyway. I don't know if more experience would help. Though scent work is one of those things we can just continue to plug away with since it's so low impact. Kind of like novice level obedience, lol.
#these are such first world problems it is ridiculous#i guess i should be grateful we take a break in the summer#so it's not like we're competing all year#but it does cram everything into a couple months#so idk if it's any better
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I Want You [Logan Howlett]
Summary: Logan is jealous of you and Scott's friendship, not knowing your true feelings.
Warnings: SMUT! 18+ only please. fem/afab!reader. brief argument, logan being stubborn comme d'hab, making out, oral, riding, you get the idea ;)
WC: 2.9k - MASTERLIST
The sun is setting, casting long shadows across the X-Mansion grounds. You find yourself on the patio, leaning against the railing, watching as the last rays of sunlight dip below the trees. The tranquility of the moment is soothing, a brief escape from the chaos that often fills your days.
Your mind drifts to earlier that day, when you and Scott had been working together in the training room. He's always been a good friendāsomeone you can rely on when you need advice or a steady hand in a crisis. Scott had patiently helped you fine-tune your abilities, offering encouragement and constructive feedback.
"You're really getting the hang of it," Scott had said with a smile as you both took a break, sitting on the edge of the training mat. "I'm impressed."
"Thanks, Scott," you had replied, grateful for his support. "Couldn't have done it without your help."
He had shrugged, a modest grin on his face. "We make a good team. It's nice to have someone who gets it, you know?"
You had nodded, feeling the warmth of genuine friendship between you. Scott was like the brother you never had, someone who understood the challenges you faced and never judged you for them.
The sound of heavy footsteps approaching breaks your reverie. You recognize them immediatelyāLogan.
"You and Summers seem to be gettin' pretty close."
You turn to face him, raising an eyebrow at his accusatory tone. "Scott? We're just friends, Logan. You know that."
He crosses his arms over his chest, scowl deepening. "Doesn't look like it from where I'm standin'."
Frustration bubbles up inside you, and you canāt help but let it spill over. "And where exactly are you standing? Lurking in the shadows, jumping to conclusions?"
His eyes narrow, jaw clenching. "I'm just callin' it like I see it."
"You don't see anything," you retort, matching his intensity. "You're too busy looking for problems that aren't there."
He steps closer, his presence imposing but familiar. "I see the way he looks at you."
You roll your eyes, exasperated. "And how do I look at him, Logan?"
"Like he hung the damn moon," Logan mutters, a hint of vulnerability creeping into his voice.
"That's rich coming from the guy who's too stubborn to see what's right in front of him," you snap back, heart pounding.
He pauses, taken aback by your words. "What do you mean by that?"
You take a deep breath, the weight of your unspoken feelings pressing down on you. "I mean, I'm not in love with Scott. I'm in love with you. But you're too busy being jealous and stubborn to notice."
He blinks, surprise flickering across his features. His defenses falter for a moment, and you see the real him beneath the rugged exterior. "Me? Why the hell would youā"
"Because you're you, Logan," you interrupt, voice softer now. "You're gruff and infuriating, but you're also brave and kind. You see through the facade I put up, and you make me want to be better."
He looks at you, his hardened exterior cracking. "I thought I wasn't good enough for you,ā he says, quietly.Ā
You step closer, reaching out to touch his arm. The contact is electric, as always, grounding both of you in the moment. "You don't get to decide that for me. I've made my choice."
He stares at you, a mix of disbelief and longing in his eyes. "All this time... and I was just bein' a damn fool."
"Yeah, you were,ā you say with a smile, the tension between you dissipating.Ā
Logan lets out a low chuckle, the sound warm and genuine. "Guess I should apologize for actin' like a jerk, huh?"
You nod, teasingly. "That would be a good start."
He takes a deep breath, looking into your eyes with a sincerity that makes your heart race. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I was stupid, and I let my jealousy get the best of me."
You smile, feeling the last remnants of your anger melt away. "Apology accepted, but you're gonna have to make it up to me."
Tthe familiar glint returns to his eyes as he smirks. "Oh, I will. Count on it."
A comfortable silence falls between you. The night air is cool and refreshing, and you can hear the distant sounds of laughter from inside the mansion.
"Why didnāt you ever say anything?" Logan asks, his voice quieter now, almost tentative.
"I guess I was scared," you admit. "Scared of ruining what we have, of pushing you away. Youāre not exactly easy to read."
He chuckles softly. "Yeah, well, you're not the only one whoās scared. Iām not good at this...feelinā stuff. Always thought itād get in the way."
"It doesnāt have to," you say, hoping your words convey the sincerity you feel. "You donāt have to do this alone, Logan. We can figure it out together."
He nods, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. You share a moment of quiet understanding. For once, thereās no need for words. You both know what this means.
"Come on," Logan says suddenly, breaking the silence. "Letās get outta here for a while."
"Where to?" you ask, curiosity piqued.
Thereās a playful glint in his eyes as he shrugs. "Anywhere but here. I hear thereās a nice little spot by the lake where the stars look like theyāre close enough to touch."
You laugh, "Alright, lead the way.ā
---
The walk to the lake is peaceful, the cool night air wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. The sound of your footsteps on the gravel path blends with the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze. You and Logan walk side by side, your fingers occasionally brushing against each other, only feeding the tension that seems to be growing as each moment passes.
When you reach the lake, the water shimmers under the starlight, a breathtaking view that makes you catch your breath. Logan finds a spot on the grassy bank, and you settle down beside him, lying back to gaze up at the sky.
"It's beautiful here," you whisper, feeling the tranquility of the moment seep into your bones.
Logan nods, his gaze fixed on you instead of the stars. "Yeah, it is."
His arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. You rest your head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. It's a comforting sound, grounding you in the reality of this moment.
You tilt your head up to look at him, meeting his eyes. There's a softness there that you haven't seen before, a vulnerability that makes your heart swell. "I've wanted this for a long time, Logan."
He smiles, a rare and genuine expression that lights up his features. "Me too. Guess I was too stubborn to admit it."
You chuckle softly, reaching up to trace your fingers along the line of his jaw. "I like this side of you."
He catches your hand, pressing a kiss to your fingertips. His touch is gentle, almost reverent, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he's not careful. The world around you fades away as Logan leans down, capturing your lips in a soft, lingering kiss. It's slow and tentative at first, as if testing the waters, but quickly deepens into something more urgent and heated.
You shift closer, your bodies fitting together perfectly as his hand slides up your back, pulling you even closer. Your fingers weave into his hair, anchoring yourself as the kiss intensifies, leaving you breathless.
Breaking away briefly, his forehead rests against yours as he catches his breath. "You sure about this?" he murmurs, his voice low and husky.
You nod, your own breath coming in short gasps. "Absolutely."
With a growl of approval, Logan captures your lips again, the kiss filled with a hunger that leaves you dizzy. He shifts, pulling you with him as he rolls onto his back, guiding you to straddle his hips. His hand traces down your side, sending shivers of anticipation through you. The world around you feels distant and unimportant, the only thing that matters is the man with you and the way he makes you feel.Ā Ā
As the kiss deepens, you lose yourself in the moment, the passion and intensity of it all consuming you. Slowly, you rock back and forth, grinding your hot core against his growing bulge. Something akin to a growl releases from his throat, as his hands tighten their grip on you.
Breaking the kiss, Logan trails his lips down your neck, planting soft, lingering kisses along your skin. You tilt your head back, allowing him to continue his journey, savouring the sensation of his mouth against you. He hooks his fingers into the hem of your shirt, pausing to look up at you. With deliberate slowness, he slides your shirt up and over your head, discarding it with a flick of his wrist. He takes a moment to admire you, his hands tracing the curves of your waist with a gentle reverence.
āWow,ā he breathes, his voice rough with emotion. āYou drive me crazy, you know that?ā
His eyes roam over you appreciatively, lingering on your bare skin. His words and gaze make your heart race and heat flood your cheeks.
āSays you,ā you murmur, feeling a heady mix of vulnerability and desire under his gaze.
āYouāre so damn beautiful,ā he whispers, flipping you over so youāre now on your back as he hovers above you. āIāve thought about this moment more times than I can count.ā
He begins to kiss the valley between your breasts, hands never ceasing their exploration of your body. Your grasp finds the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head, revealing the hard planes of his chest. Your fingers trace over his muscles, delighting in the way they ripple beneath your touch.
Logan grins, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he moves even lower, his kisses trailing down your stomach. Each touch is electric, leaving a path of heat in its wake. His fingers find the waistband of your pants, slowly sliding them down your legs. With your pants discarded, Logan settles himself between your thighs, his hands gently parting them to make room for himself. His touch is firm yet gentle, and you shiver in anticipation as he leans in, his breath warm against your most sensitive skin.
He starts with soft kisses along your inner thighs, teasing you with his lips and the occasional scrape of his teeth. The feeling sends a thrill through you, making your heart race and your body ache for more. Finally, Logan focuses his attention on your centre, his mouth moving with expert precision as he tastes you. The first touch of his tongue is like fire, a sensation so intense that it steals your breath away. You gasp, your hands finding their way to his hair, anchoring yourself to him as the pleasure begins to build.
He works you with a practiced ease, his tongue tracing patterns that have you arching into him, seeking more of the exquisite sensations heās giving you. He alternates between gentle flicks and firmer strokes, finding a rhythm that leaves you trembling beneath him. Your soft moans and gasps fill the night air, mingling with the sound of the lake and the distant rustle of leaves. Logan responds to your every sound, adjusting his movements, his sole focus on drawing out your pleasure.
As the tension coils within you, winding tighter with each deft movement of his tongue, you feel yourself teetering on the edge of release. Logan senses your impending climax, his efforts doubling as he brings you closer and closer to the brink. With a final flick of his tongue at your clit with gentle, firm pressure, he pushes you over the edge, sending you spiraling into ecstasy. The world dissolves around you as the waves of pleasure crash over you, leaving you breathless and shaking.
Logan stays with you through it all, his touch gentle and reassuring as you come down from your high. He presses a soft kiss to your thigh before moving back up to lie beside you, gathering you into his arms as you catch your breath. āLogan,ā you whisper, feeling a warmth thatās more than just physical spreading through you.
He smiles, a satisfied, tender expression on his face as he brushes a stray hair from your cheek. āIāve got you,ā he murmurs.
You shift slightly, your fingers tracing the lines of his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing. The sight of him, hair tousled and eyes filled with a mix of satisfaction and desire, stirs something within you. You lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, feeling the warmth of his body against yours.
Responding eagerly to your initiation, the kiss deepens as your hands explore each other with a renewed sense of curiosity and hunger, as if he didnāt just make you finish with his mouth. You push him gently onto his back, straddling his hips as you trade positions once again, trailing kisses down his chest, savoring the way his muscles tense under your touch.
Your hands make quick work of his belt and jeans, tugging them down to reveal the hard length of him. Heās beautiful. Loganās breath hitches as you take him in your hand, stroking him with a slow, deliberate rhythm that draws a low groan from his lips.
You lower yourself further, your lips and tongue exploring every inch of him, tasting and teasing until his hands are tangled in your hair, guiding you with a mix of urgency and need. The sounds he makes, the way he reacts to your touch, only spurs you on, and you take him deeper, reveling in the way his body responds to yours.
āDarlinā,ā Logan rasps, his voice strained with pleasure, āyouāre gonna be the death of me.ā
You smile against him, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze, the heat in his eyes matching the fire burning within you. āWell, donāt go dying on me now,ā you tease, moving back up to capture his lips in a heated kiss.
His hands grip your hips, holding you in place as you settle over him. You barely break the kiss as you grab his length and slowly sit down on it. The pleasure of being filled by him draws a gasp from your lips, and a hearty groan vibrates underneath you.
You brace yourself against his chest, feeling the taut muscles beneath your palms, as you begin to move. The rhythm starts slow and steady, each movement deliberate as you rise and fall, taking him deeper with each movement of your hips. Soon enough, you feel him begin to thrust up into you, matching your pace, pounding into you even deeper than before.Ā
Loganās grip on your hips tightens, guiding you as you pick up the pace, your bodies moving in perfect harmony. The sound of your breathy sighs and his low groans fill the air, mingling with the gentle rustle of the leaves and the lapping of the lake against the shore.
His eyes remain locked on yours, a dark and heated gaze that stokes the fire within you. You feel the tension coiling tight, winding with each movement until itās all-consuming, a need that demands release.
āIām close,ā you gasp, leaning forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss.Ā
The tension within you builds to a crescendo, a tidal wave of sensation that sweeps you away. With one final movement, you tumble over the edge, your release crashing over you in a symphony of pleasure that leaves you trembling in his arms.
He follows soon after, a low, guttural moan escaping him as he finds his own release, his hands finding and squeezing your breasts while his body shudders beneath you.
When the waves of pleasure subside, you collapse against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath you. His arms wrap around you, holding you close, and you smile against his skin, feeling a sense of peace and contentment that only comes from being with him.
The night air cools the heat between you, and you nestle against Loganās side, feeling safe and cherished in the aftermath of your shared passion. His fingers trace lazy patterns along your back, soothing and grounding you as you bask in the warmth of his embrace.
āWow,ā you whisper, a soft laugh escaping you as you meet his gaze, the stars reflected in his eyes. āThat wasā¦ā
āIncredible,ā he finishes for you, a satisfied smirk tugging at his lips. āYouāve got me all figured out, darlinā.ā
You chuckle, feeling the warmth of his words settle in your chest. āI think weāve got eachother figured out.ā
āYeah, we do,ā Logan agrees, pulling you closer, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
As the night stretches on, you find comfort and peace in Loganās embrace, knowing that this is just the beginning of something beautiful and real. Youāve found a home in each otherās armsāa place where you truly belong.
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A/N: this is my first time ever writing smut yikes lol please leave feedback!
#wolverine smut#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#deadpool and wolverine#james howlett#hugh jackman#deadpool movie#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#logan howlett x reader#x men#smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine imagine#marvel smut#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic
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Roots Before Branches (Rafe Cameron x reader)
Rafe Cameron x reader
Family day at the beach and Rafe is stressssssed-
***not based on the song
You enjoyed the gentle sea breeze as it gave you a break from the sweltering heat of the Outer Banks sun.
Rafe on the other hand found it inciting.
"It's blowing sand into her eyes!" He complained with a sharp glare towards the sea.
He was in a bad mood since Sarah had shown up to the beach with her friends to show them her baby niece. It wasn't a coincidence his heated glare was pointed in the direction the Pogues had taken up surfing.
"She's okay." You said, pointing to her little sunglasses. She also had on a bucket hat for good measure. "Did you want to swap seats?"
Whilst you lounged in the sun on a towel, Rafe sat under the umbrella in a beach chair beside you. Bea sat on his lap holding a red plastic spade. You wondered when he'd set her down so she can actually play with it...
He shook his head and kept his gaze on the sea.
"How about we build some sand castles?"
"The sand's too hot for her." Rafe shook his head again, taking a sip of his beer with a sigh.
You didn't grow up with a beach and wanted your daughter to enjoy every minute of the seaside whilst you were here for the summer.
"So we'll play by the shore." You said, standing up and brushing off the sand from your hands. "I could do with cooling down."
"But the water-"
"Is fine Rafe." You cut off before he could find another problem. You placed a quick kiss on his cheek. You loved that he was a protective person by nature, but you also missed the fun, care-free side to him from when you first met.
"Race you there."
"Wait-"
You didn't wait and ran for the water, wincing at the heat beneath your feet. You hated when he was right...
"You call that running?" He asked, jogging past you with a smiling baby.
Rafe waited for you at the shore as you caught your breath, quickly dipping your feet in the water as they burned.
"I had sand in my eyes." You excused with a shrug. He rolled his eyes but pulled you into his chest regardless.
"You were right." He said into your hair and you pulled back to look at him. "The water's a nice break from the heat. She'll love it."
He adjusted his grip on Bea and held her just slightly above the water, where it came to just below your knees and the tops of his ankles. Her toes skimmed the blue water and she immediately lifted her legs into her chest with a whine.
"Oh." You commented with surprise. "I guess she's not much of a water baby then."
"What?" Rafe said with a frown and looked down at his daughter as she actively avoided touching the water. "No she is." He insisted.
He lowered her a little more and she whimpered as a small wave splashed her legs.
"Oh dear." You recognised that pouty lip and grimaced as it wobbled before turning into a cry.
"Shit." He said, pulling her into his chest as she sobbed.
"She's a city girl." You laughed, holding onto your baby's foot and feeling the soft bottoms as she calmed down. "Aren't you?"
Rafe scowled. "She loves the bath. I thought she'd be happy here."
"She is happy here." You disputed with a frown.
"Clearly not." He said, visibly agitated with the situation.
You put your hands on your hips as you stared at the both of them. They shared the same unhappy frown. "She'll get used to it."
"I don't want to put her in the water if she doesn't like it." He snapped at you. "And there's no point living here if she doesn't like it." Rafe stormed out of the water and back to umbrella as Bea began to cry again.
You watched him leave with a narrowed gaze. His words settled in your mind and you speculated that the discussions of where Bea should grow up were grating on him.
As much as he wanted to move back home to Kildare, you put forward the point that you didn't have the money to live on Figure 8 and it's tormented him ever since.
You felt guilty at putting the cloudy thought in his mind. It wouldn't have bothered you, but it certainly bothered him to live as a 'would be Pogue'. If only he could see it in a different light...
"Hey, yo!" A voice called out from behind you. "Are you joining us, city girl?"
The figures of Sarah's friends were dotted in the water. A few on surf boards, including the Cameron girl herself.
"Yeah! Y/N come join me on my board!" She suggested with a wave.
You cast a glance back to shore. The rainbow umbrella was visible from here. Maybe seeing you have fun in the water with the Pogues would prompt Rafe to see they weren't so bad, or maybe he'd even join you himself.
"Just for a bit." You said, swimming over. You weren't the strongest swimmer but with Kiara's help, you were pulled onto the board and settled in front of Sarah.
You were in the water for about thirty minutes, most of which were spent laughing as the boy's wrestled in the water for a place on one of the surf boards. Or watching JJ wipe-out when he tried to surf as the waves on this side of the island were apparently not suited for surfing.
Sarah paddled around until Pope tipped you two off the board and you took it as your chance to head back to the umbrella, knowing you had two very grumpy baby's waiting for you...
You collapsed onto your towel with a tired huff.
It seems like you weren't the only tired one as Rafe had laid out a towel under the umbrella and lay on his side, blue eyes watching as your baby sat up on her own and played with wet sand. He must have collected it with her bucket.
"Thank you, sweetpea." You said as Bea passed you a chubby handful of the dark sand. She smiled at you from behind her pacifier and you bit your tongue, not wanting to argue with Rafe even though you'd spoken about stopping her using one.
"It stopped her from eating the sand." He voiced quietly, also accepting a handful of sand. Although he didn't manage much of a smile. "She's sitting up on her own." He noted.
You nodded. "She's growing up fast."
He didn't like the sound of that and shut his eyes, turning to lay on his back. Bea didn't mind and started piling sand on his chest.
But you didn't want him to remain in a glum state and knew you had to do something to lighten up his mood. The dilemma of your baby growing so fast, and the struggle to provide a stable place to raise her was causing a stress in your lives.
A frat house was no place for Bea to take her first steps, and now that you had both graduated, it was time to make your roots in the world your daughter would grow up in...
You stared at the ocean and then smiled.
"If you're anything like me, you'll give it one more try." You mumbled to your daughter, lifting her into your arms with a heave and standing up.
"What are you doing?" Rafe asked, sitting up in a panic.
"I'm trying again." You said with a shrug and he followed after you with protests as you hurried to the water.
But this time, you went deeper until it was at your hips before you called Sarah over.
She immediately spotted the two of you and paddled over. "Does bumblebee want a spot on the board?" She asked with a smile for the little girl.
"No, absolutely not." Rafe interrupted, coming up behind you, placing firm hands on your waist to help give you stability in the water.
"Rafe I've got her." You assured him, as Sarah hopped off her paddle board and held it still.
He said nothing but you felt him squeeze you in fear as you sat Bea gently on the wet board, not letting go of her as the water gently rocked it.
She looked at her father with watery eyes, her bottom lip sticking out and her arms flapping in protest as you and Sarah reassured her.
"Is that fun?" Sarah asked with a coo.
The other Pogues gathered round in interest as the baby sat on the board with a sad pout.
"Aww, she's not sure about the water." Kie pointed out with a sad smile.
"Here, this'll help." JJ said, using his fingers to flick some water at the baby and you froze as you waited for not only Bea's reaction, but Rafe's.
"You little fucker-"
He was cut off by his daughter's giggle.
"She loves it!" You cheered as she slapped her hand in the water and made a few splashes. It hit your chest and she laughed again.
JJ breathed a sigh of relief. "You see, I knew it'd work."
"Shut up." Rafe mumbled but splashed Bea with a flick of water against her leg anyway. He smiled as she laughed like she found it the funniest thing in the world, her big head titled back and everything.
"We're gonna go to the beach all the time!" Sarah celebrated, pressing a kiss against Bea's wet cheek.
You turned your head over your shoulder to look up at Rafe, trying to gauge his reaction to his sister's words. As if he read your thoughts, he stared down at you and smiled.
"Topper, Molly and Kelce won't be happy to find new roommates..."
"They'll just have to move here. Like us." You suggested and turned to face your happy baby again as he laughed at your words and lay a kiss on your shoulder.
"I love you."
You watched contently with Rafe pressed warmly against your back, as Sarah and Bea splashed John B playfully and he tried with little effort to splash them back.
You will uproot the life you started together in the city and move your family here, a place for your family tree to grow in the sun and by the water.
y'allll, i don't thrive under pressure and i didn't expect such a positive reaction to my stories... my writing abilities and moods fluctuate as im bipolar as fuck so i fear living up to expectations but here's a nugget of my appreciation for the love š«¶
#obx fanfiction#outer banks fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe x y/n#obx#rafe cameron x y/n#fratbaby
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prompt: "you make me feel alive. for the first time ever, i can breathe"
pairing: xmen'97 scott summers x afab!reader
genre: fluff, fluff, fluff, slight angst, and fluff
summary: you and scott have started dating recently and everything feels right, like you were meant for each other. scott prepares a surprise date for you and opens up about his feelings - it's the sweetest thing ever
notes: where's jean? nonexistent here... sorry for all her fans Ėā Ė. wc is 802 words and the story's set after the events of xmen 97!
ā° ā° ā°
The halls of the X-Mansion flooded with children and teenagers, laughter and chatter floating through the air. The weather of spring did not disappoint, the windows of the hall magnifying the rays of the morning sun, the blossoms outside blooming in magnificent pinks and purples.
A hand rested on your shoulder from behind and you whipped around in surprise. With everything that had been going on under Magneto's unfortunate reign, you expected to see something terrible standing there. To your luck, it was someone much more welcome and familiar.
"Scott!" You exclaimed with relief.
"Hey, love," he replied, his baritone voice matching the warmth of the sun.
He pulls you aside, away from the bustling students and into a smaller, empty office. The oaken furniture glowed a golden maple colour under the morning light, a stained glass window casting warm glows of reds and yellows. In front of the head desk, the chairs had been pushed aside, a red and white checkered picnic blanket in their place. A wicker basket sat in the center, overflowing with all sorts of good food and drinks.
"We never get the time to do anything. I thought I'd do something for the both of us together, you know, seeing as we have a break from all the missions," he gestures over to the little setup. "I mean, it's not much but I-"
You almost throw yourself into his arms. Falling into an embrace, you bury your face into his broad chest.
"Oh, Scott. This is sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," you smile. "Sit with me!"
You both take a seat opposite each other, cross-legged like school children. Cracking open a can of soda from the basket, you're unable to suppress your happiness.
"When'd you plan this, may I ask?" You giggle.
"A week ago, I'd say. Running this whole place is my job, and what I should be doing. Buuut... I suppose it was a bit much. I needed to spend time with you, to be with you alone," he half smiles. "Needed to escape for a bit to be honest."
"I'm so very honoured, my captain. I'm glad you're able to do this for us, to take a break. I couldn't be more grateful for you."
Scott rested a large hand on your thigh. "And I you." He moves his hand up and brushes his thumb against your cheek. "God, you're beautiful, you know?"
Your heart grew hot and you blushed, so much so that you thought he'd think you were on fire. "So are you," you laughed.
Your comment elicited an affable chuckle from him.
"Y/N, do you know who I'd be without you?"
"Let me guess, Scott Summers but attractively single?"
"Haha very funny. But seriously, I'd just be Cyclops who worked all day, all night, someone who could never fill Xavier's shoes and was never satisfied. Y/N, you made me realise that there's more than that."
You felt his gaze fall on your face, studying your expression. You looked on helplessly, unable to tear your own line of vision from his own perfectly sculpted face. His amber locks and broad shoulders seemingly screamed for attention.
"Don't say that. You know you are more than that already."
Scott leaned in, closer to you. "No but I mean, I'm nothing without you really. I'm just a mutant without a soul. But you...You make me feel alive, and for the first time ever, I can breathe. With you, I'm an actual person." His voice dropped, almost in a whisper, as if telling you a secret.
His words struck your heart.
"Oh Scott... You're never nothing and never have been nothing. You'll always be a person with a caring soul and a massive heart, with or without me. Please remember that. But, I'll always, always, always be here to tell you. Know that I love you and always will," you reply, reflecting his tone of voice in your own.
Almost nose to nose now, you lean in and kiss him. His long fingers run down your cheeks and reach into your hair, gently tugging at your locks as he kisses you back tentatively. His lips are sweet and familiar, tasting of sunshine. You inhale his woody scent and bask in the warmth of his presence. Your own hands travel to rest on the vast expanse of his muscular chest, feeling his heart beat rhythmically.
After several minutes of burning yet natural passion, you both pull apart, breathing heavily. His crimson lensed glasses sat slightly crooked upon his tall nose bridge. You move your hands to adjust them for him. "Careful there," you chuckled lightly. He smiled.
"Gosh, how lucky am I to have you?" He said, his fingers dancing along your jaw.
"Could say the exact same thing back," you replied.
#xmen#x men 97#scott summers#scott summers x reader#scott summers fic#where is the love for my bae scott#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#professor x#charles xavier#magneto#marvel#marvel x reader#fluff#fanfiction#x reader#x men the animated series#x men comics#first post#x men movies#meow#writing#cyclops#x men cylops#jean grey#i love scott summers
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An Easy Fix
It's a cool autumn evening when your car decides to break down in the middle of nowhere. The engine sputters, coughs, and then gives out entirely. You curse under your breath, pulling over to the side of the road. Itās getting dark, and the last thing you want is to be stranded here overnight.
After a few minutes of trying to get the car to start again, you give up. With a sigh, you grab your jacket, step out of the car, and start walking down the road. Not far ahead, you notice a large, looming structure in the distance. As you get closer, you realize itās an impressive, mansion-like building. There's a sign out front that reads "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters."
The place seems both welcoming and mysterious, but right now, itās your best bet. You approach the entrance and ring the bell. After a moment, the door opens, and youāre greeted by a tall, muscular man with red-tinted glasses.
"Can I help you?" he asks, his voice calm but commanding.
"Yeah, my car broke down a little way back," you explain. "I was hoping someone here could help me out. I didnāt know there was a school in the area."
The man nods, considering your situation for a moment before introducing himself. "I'm Scott Summers. I can take a look at your car. Wait here."
A few minutes later, Scott comes out with a toolbox in hand. You lead him to your car, and he gets to work, carefully inspecting the engine. As he does, you find yourself watching him more than anything else. There's something magnetic about him, the way he moves, the quiet confidence in his actions.
"Looks like a simple fix," he finally says, pulling out a few tools. "You should be back on the road in no time."
"Thank you so much," you reply, genuinely grateful. "I wasnāt sure what I was going to do."
"No problem," Scott responds, glancing up at you. "It's what I do."
As he finishes up, the two of you make small talk. You learn a bit about the school, and he explains that itās a place for students with unique abilities. The more you talk, the more you feel a connection growing between the two of you. There's an intensity in his gaze, even through those red glasses, that makes your heart race a little faster.
Finally, the car is fixed. You thank him again, but as youāre about to get in and drive off, you hesitate. You donāt want to leave just yet. There's something unspoken lingering in the air between you.
"Listen," he says, his voice a little unsteady. "I know this might sound crazy, butā¦ would you want to come back to the school with me? I could show you around, maybe we couldā¦ talk some more?"
You pauses, considering his offer. Then nod slowly. "Yeah,Iād like that."
Back at the school, Scott gives you a brief tour, but itās clear that neither of you is really focused on the history of the building or the curriculum. The tension between you is almost palpable. When you reach a more secluded area of the mansion, Scott stops walking, turning to face you fully.
"There's something about you," he says quietly, his gaze intense. "Something thatā¦ draws me in."
You take a step closer to him, your heart pounding in your chest. "I feel the same way."
Before either of you can say anything else, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his. The kiss is electric, filled with all the pent-up tension from the evening. Scott wraps his arms around you, pulling you close as the kiss deepens, becoming more urgent, more desperate.
One thing leads to another, and soon you find yourselves in one of the more private rooms of the mansion. The rest of the world fades away as you lose yourselves in each other, the connection you felt earlier blossoming into something intense, something undeniable.
Afterward, you lie together in the quiet, the only sound your breathing as you both come down from the high of the moment. Scottās hand gently strokes your hair as you rest against him.
"I guess I owe you more than just a thank you," you murmur, a smile tugging at your lips.
Scott chuckles softly, the sound rumbling through his chest. "I think weāre even."
#scott summers#scott summer imagine#scott summer x reader#scott summer oneshot#cyclops imagine#cyclops x reader#cyclops oneshot#marvel imagine#x men imagine
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THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL
Drew Starkey X Female Reader
Chapter 2
Warnings : alcohol, panick attack, angst, want to give the reader a hug, smut, loss of virginity
If you missed chapter 1
"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." - James Earl Jones
Y/N's point of view
I'm at Madelyn's, curled up on the couch with a hot tea in my hands. I don't want to go home, because I know that Drew will be there, with Odessa probably. I don't have the strength to see him. Even if at the same time, he is the only person I want to see.
I now know what heart break feels like and I now know that I have to teach my heart to accept disappointments, even from the people I love, even from him.
Madelyn is sitting next to me, playing with my hair. I respond to the worried texts of my friends, saying that I'm okay and that I'm sorry to have ruined their night. They are all understanding and tell me to have a great trip at my parents for the holidays, and to take time for myself. I respond to all of them except Drew. I just write him that I'm at Madelyn's and that I'll pass by tomorrow to get my suitcase for the holidays. I ignore his texts asking me what happened. I just answer him to have a great Christmas before turning off my phone and go to sleep.
Drew's point of view
I think I'm in love with Y/N since I saw her for the first time. When everyone got cast, we had dinner at the restaurant to get to know each other. I was sitting with the boys, talking about what we liked in life, when I saw her, making her way to the table. She was wearing a yellow summer dress with white converses. Her hair was tied up in a effortless ponytail, and I swear that in that moment, I saw the most beautiful girl in the world.
But I think that I truly fell in love with her 3 months after we met. We were walking in the city, and we saw a kid looking for his parents. Without hesitation, she made her way to him, kneeling at his height, asking him if he needed help. The kid was inconsolable so she sat with him, telling him stories and making him laugh until his parents found him again. In that moment, I knew. I knew that she could have broke my heart in a thousand pieces and I would've been grateful.
Since that day, three years ago, it always been the two of us, until tonight.
So when I arrive at Madelyn's apartment, I want nothing more than to have answers. I feel sick to think I could've put her in that state. I knock at her door, rubbing my hands in my face. When she opens the door, I can see how annoy she is at me.
"She's sleeping."
"Ok, then tell her I passed by and that I want to talk. Please," we're both surprised by my shaking voice. "What the hell happened out there ?"
"Maybe you should ask that to your friend Odessa, Drew. I know she is your friend, but you should've seen the state Y/N was. Getting humiliated like that in front of her friends, in front of you."
"In front of me?" I struggled to ask, my brows furrowed.
"Please Drew," she chuckled coldly. "As if she wanted you to know that she was a virgin. I'll let her know you passed by, but you need to let her some space, she has a lot on her mind right now."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You should go, Drew, she'll talk to you when she's ready."
I leave her house, cursing to myself. When I go to bed that night, I can't stop thinking about her, about us, about how I lost something I never had.
Y/N's point of view
I leave Madelyn's apartment early this morning, figuring out that if I go to our apartment early enough, chances will be that Drew will still be asleep. I guessed right because when I unlock the door, I can hear him snoring lightly.
***
As I'm driving to my parents' house, I put my Christmas playlist on shuffle, question to get into the mood. As I get on the highway, the song Blue Christmas by The Lumineers starts playing. I feel like it's the first time in my life where I can really relate to this song. My mind starts to wonder, how will Drew's Christmas will be like. How will my Christmas be like. I can feel the tears burning my eyes as I try my best to stay concentrated on the road.
***
I'm sitting on the sofa; my parents and my brother are talking about something I can't decipher. I'm scrolling on my phone, through Instagram. My heart skips a beat when I see a picture that Mackayla posted. I look at the picture, where Drew all smiling, is photographed with his family. I read the caption as it says "Merry Christmas from our family to yours.'' I double tap on it, liking it, even if it feels as if my heart throws itself down the 18th floor to see him smile like that.
Drew's point of view
Christmas sucks this year. I try my best to act like everything is fine, to act as if she's not mad at me. But my mind keeps wandering and I keep asking myself why she acted like that. I mean, sure what Odessa did was not nice, but I keep asking myself what was the meaning behind Madelyn's words.
''Drew!'' Brooke's voice pulls me out of my thoughts, ''We're opening the gifts!''
I sit on the floor, watching my mom handing me a gift. I unwrap it, finding an air fryer under the paper. Before I can say anything, my mom almost screams, ''It's for you and Y/N! I know how you both love easy and quick cooking.''
I laugh slightly, trying to push away the thought that I miss her, that I love her, and that I hope that our friendship can pass through whatever happened that night.
Y/N ās point of view
As I come home 2 days later, I see Drew laying on his bed, reading a book. I feel my heart throbbing in my chest, and weirdly, for the first time, I donāt know how to act around him. A mix of thoughts is spinning around in my head, and I find myself wondering if I should apologize to him for how I acted at the bar. Madelyn told me how he went to her apartment to have answers and I canāt imagine how bad he mustāve felt.
He must have felt that I was standing in the doorframe of his room because he turned his head, looking at me with so much gentleness, as if he was afraid to break me just with his gaze.
''Hi.'' I say, making an effort to keep my voice steady.
''Hi.''
I make my way to him, laying next to him on the bed.
He clears his throat before speaking again, ''how was your Christmas?''
''T'was fun,'' I answer, my eyes focused on his bedroom's ceiling, ''what about yours?''
''Was great, my mom says hi,'' he smiles.
''We should talk,'' we say at the same time.
Drew chuckled softly, and for the first time since I'm laying next to him, I stop looking at the ceiling, looking at him instead.
''I feel like I owe you an apology for how I acted at the bar,'' I say, my voice not even louder than a whisper. But I know he heard me he interrupts me.
''No, I should apologize. I should've done something while you were having a panick attack. Does it happen often ?''
Drew's point of view
I look into her eyes as I ask my question. I can see her breath getting stuck in her chest.
''It's fine if you don't want to talk about it,'' I say, giving her an occasion of changing subject.
''No, it's ok,'' she answers, ''I used to happen a lot more when I was younger. I used to do them when there were a lot of people or noises. But the one a couple of days ago was the first in a long time. I thought I was getting better, I honestly did. But sometimes, I just lay in bed at 3 am, trying to figure out what is wrong with me and why I'm never enough.''
''I'm sorry,'' I say to her. I truly feel sorry for her, because I know that she can't see herself the way I see her. So strong, always there for the others, always happy. I'm cursing mentally to not have realized how she was doing.
''You don't have to be sorry Drew.''
My hand reaches for hers and my gaze goes from her eyes to her lips. I can see hers do the same. I just want to close that gap between our lips. But before I can do anything, she turns her head, excusing herself and leaving me alone in my room.
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Dancing in the Moonlight
A Stedancy fanfiction based on the Breakfast Club
Nancy wasn't sure how she got detention. It was Carol who had started it. . .talking shit about Barb. Nancy had seen red, and the next thing she had known, she was beating the shit out of Carol. Carol had fought back, but somehow, she had escaped getting in trouble, running away yet again before the teachers had seen her face. Anyway, there she was, walking into the library to serve her detention on a Saturday, no less. Principal Higgins told her she should be grateful that she didn't get more time or expelled, but because of what happened with Miss Holland, they were letting her off easy.
"Asshole," she muttered under her breath.
Nancy was surprised when she saw Steve sitting at the table. His bruises were starting to fade from when Jonathan beat the shit out of him, but he also had new ones.
"Are you here to study, or is Nancy Wheeler actually in detention?" Steve asked in disbelief.
"Carol," she explained as she sat down next to him.
"Hm, Tommy," Steve said.
"Did they have a meeting to talk about who's going to take who?" Nancy asked.
"Probably. I just wanted Tommy to stop fucking with Jonathan," Steve said.
"He was messing with Jonathan?" Nancy asked.
Just as Steve was about to open his mouth to say something else, Principal Higgins came dragging Eddie Munson in. He tossed Eddie into the chair next to Steve.
"I keep telling you that she wanted me to clean her classroom so I could use it for Hellfire!" Eddie exclaimed.
"Her locked door that you tried to break into says otherwise. Now, you three are going to stay here, and you will write an essay on how sorry you are for your rotten behavior. Am I clear?" Higgins asked.
"Crystal," they said in unison, and Eddie cackled.
Higgins glared at Eddie before walking out the library door and locking the door behind him.
"Why would he bother locking the door? Didn't he catch you picking a lock?" Steve asked.
"Excellent point, King Steve," Eddie grinned.
"I hate that nickname," Steve said.
"It seems a touch better than the Hair," Eddie said.
"I mean, it's true, I do have hair, so is it really an insult?" Steve asked.
"You got me. . .okay, what is Nancy Wheeler in for?" Eddie asked. "I assume you got into a fight. . .wait, was it with each other?"
"No," Nancy said, rolling her eyes. "Carol Perkins is a bitch."
"I heard you two went a few rounds in the hallway," Eddie said. "Didn't believe it, but judging by the shiner, I guess it's true."
"It's my fault. They're pissed at me," Steve said. "And they're taking it out on both of us, on Jonathan too."
"Well, that's petty of them. You had every right to walk away," Nancy said. "They're assholes."
"I should have done it a long time ago," Steve said. "I just kept waiting for him to be the same old Tommy again, like when we were kids. Then he left me for this summer camp his dad wanted him to go to and he came back with a girlfriend. He was just this asshole. He didn't even want to cuddle anymore."
"You and Hagan cuddled?" Eddie asked.
"Yeah," Steve said. "Don't you cuddle and share the bed with your friends?"
"No," Eddie said, said looking at him oddly. "Not with my friends."
"I used to cuddle with Barb all the time," Nancy said.
"That's different," Eddie said, and then he looked at her. "Or maybe it's not."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nancy asked.
"Boy, you two are a lot more interesting than I thought you'd be," Eddie said, flashing his dimples.
"You know, maybe we should get to work on this essay," Nancy said.
"Where's the fun in that?" He asked.
"It's not supposed to be. It's our punishment," Nancy replied.
"Please, we have plenty of time. Higgins is always busy during this time. It's the only time Higgins can fuck his secretary without his wife finding out," Eddie said.
"Bullshit," Steve scoffed. "You're making this up."
"Well, come on, I'll show you, big boy," Eddie winked. "You're welcome to come too, princess."
"No, thank you," Nancy scoffed. "And don't call me princess."
"Ah, come on, you don't want to find out if I'm right or not?" He asked. "Not even a little curious? Come on, we'll be back before you know it. They take a nap on his couch right after, and they're pretty much out for a long time."
"Here's a question: Why don't you just leave?" Steve asked.
"Where's the fun in that when I can run around the place like I own it? Plus I like to leave little presents in people's lockers," Eddie said and then paused, wincing. "Which is how I inadvertently got you together."
"What?" Nancy and Steve asked.
"Okay. So, I put a note in your locker, and I put a note in yours but turns out neither one of the lockers was the right one," Eddie said. "Instead of the people I was hoping for, you two waltzed into the library and assumed that you two were each other's secret admirers. It wasn't even supposed to be like that. These two assholes had assumed that I sold drugs, so I had to mess with them."
"Why would they assume that?" Steve asked.
"Because I'm pretty sure that my father is friends with Reefer Rick and they just assume that it's going to be in my future. . .which they're probably right," Eddie said. "I haven't gotten that desperate yet, though."
"So, you put the notes in our lockers?" Nancy asked in amusement. "I was wondering why your handwriting suddenly changed."
"I was wondering why yours changed," Steve blinked rapidly.
"And neither thought to ask each other about it," Eddie said, laughing. "Excellent detective skills. . .you should join the force."
"You know what? Let's go," Nancy scowled.
Eddie laughed after them and hurried to the locked door, pulling a bobby pin out of his hair, shaking his hair like he was doing a sexy modeling shoot. He winked at them and then stuck out his tongue as he went to unlock the door. Nancy stared at this man. She wasn't sure what to think of him. His energy was that of a puppy who might have gotten into the sugar. He was wild, and his limbs moved as if they weren't totally attached to his body. His wide brown eyes were cute and earnest with cute dimples to match. Nancy could tell that Steve liked him, too.
"Voila!" Eddie exclaimed. "Yeah, he definitely shouldn't have left me alone with you two. I'm going to corrupt you before the day is over. You two need a little spice in your relationship, anyway."
Eddie wrapped his arms around the both of them, leading them down the empty hallway.
"Yeah, we're not really together," Steve muttered.
"Aw. . .why not?" he asked. "After all that hard work that I did?"
"What work?" Nancy asked. "It was an accident."
"Yeah, I totally messed it all up," Steve shrugged.
"Is it because of what happened at the Hawk?" Eddie asked. "Yeah, everyone heard about that. Nancy the Slut Wheeler. Hey, do you want to switch nicknames because I think I might actually prefer that over freak?"
"Seriously?" she asked.
"Okay, big thing about asshole bullies is that it takes away some of their power if you laugh with them and you make them more uncomfortable than they made you. I wear the mantle of freak proudly and I actually like it," Eddie said.
"Yeah, but slut. . ." Nancy trailed.
"Is a word that misogynistic assholes made up to make women feel bad about enjoying sex as much as men do," Eddie said. "Wear it proudly, and they'll eventually realize that it can't hurt you. They're going to use it, anyway, might as well make it more uncomfortable for them, but that's your choice. . .just like you choosing to sleep with Harrie here."
"You are NOT calling me that," Steve scowled.
"Powers all in the game, baby," Eddie smirked. "It only bothers you if you let it. . .sweetheart."
"Okay, you're doing this on purpose," Steve blushed and then paused. "So. . .like, I don't think I ever had a problem with people calling me something, not like it bothered you. Jesus, maybe I should just bully myself then. . .just to make it even."
"I'll be your bully, big boy," Eddie said, squeezing his shoulder. "I'll call you all sorts of names."
"Steve, you more than made up for what happened at the Hawk," Nancy said. "You don't need to apologize for it, anymore. Besides, Tommy and Carol were the ones who spray painted those words."
"Yeah, but I didn't stop them," Steve said.
"Steve, you did so much for me and Jonathan," Nancy said softly. "You saved our lives from the . . . wild dog. It was rabid and it would have killed us."
"Damn, you did that?" Eddie asked.
"She also saved us, too," Steve said. "She's badass."
"Really?" Eddie asked.
"Yeah, I mean, she also almost took my head off," Steve said.
"Heat of the moment," Nancy said teasingly. "And you almost deserved it."
Nancy peered around Eddie, gazing at Steve with her eyes twinkling.
"Okay, you guys have to stop being so cute," he grinned. "Also, turn down this hallway and out this door. Higgins does not keep the blinds all the way closed."
Eddie turned them down the hallway and out of the door that led outside. He led them to a window with slightly opened blinds. He pushed them down and guided their eyes to the fornication that was happening in Higgins' office.
"Oh my god!" Nancy exclaimed.
"Jesus!" Steve said.
"Yeah, it's horrible, isn't it?" Eddie asked.
"Why are they doing it in that position?" Nancy asked. "It looks so uncomfortable."
"Apparently, Higgins likes it like that," he replied.
"It doesn't look like she does," Steve said. "Yeah, she's definitely faking."
"What the hell are we doing here?" Nancy asked. "We shouldn't be looking at this. . .but I can't look away."
"It's like a train wreck," he said. "Plus, someone needs to know when they fall asleep."
"But why is she letting him do that if she doesn't like it?" Nancy asked.
"It's all about power, Wheeler," Eddie said. "The thrill that she gets from this is that he's in a position of power and she's using that to make her feel special. Even more special is if she's doing something that he won't do with his wife. . .she gets off on it."
"This feels like an animal documentary," Steve said.
"Not even animals would do it like that," Eddie cackled.
"I'm sorry but I can't look at this anymore," Nancy laughed and slid down against the wall. "Tell me when it's over. Hey, would this be enough to get him fired?"
"Probably," Eddie said. "But we have no proof. I doubt anyone would believe even you."
Steve slid down next to Nancy, who smiled at him.
"This is weird," Nancy said and he laughed.
"By the way, you pay up, Wheeler, I was right!" Eddie exclaimed.
"We didn't make a bet, Munson," she said in amusement.
"Damn," he cursed. "Okay! They're done. They're now lying down. Let's go fuck shit up."
"Or we could work on the essay," Nancy said.
"You're only young once, Wheeler. How many times are you going to run around the school and cause chaos without worrying about the consequences?" Eddie asked and bent down to her level. "Live a little, Nancy."
Eddie held out his hand, and she stared at it before looking up at him.
"What can we put in Carol's locker?" Nancy asked.
"There she is," Eddie cackled as she took his head. "Come on, Harrie."
Eddie grabbed his hand and dragged them back inside. They followed him to a locker that was obviously Eddie's. It had a warning in the front: Beware all Ye Who Enter Here. He dropped their hands, popping open the locker as he winked at them.
"This guy thinks he's the Fonz," Steve said to Nancy and she laughed.
"Please, I'm nowhere near as cool," Eddie said, grinning. "Okay. . .what do you think? Fake spider or fake snake?"
"Oh, definitely go for the snake. Carol is afraid of snakes," Steve said.
"Okay, show us the way to her locker, my liege," Eddie said, bowing to Steve.
"Don't do that," Steve said, and Nancy giggled.
Steve showed Eddie Carol's locker, and they watched as Eddie figured out the combination. Nancy thought it was cute that Eddie poked his tongue out whenever he was doing something like that. Steve clearly thought so, too. Nancy enjoyed the way Steve blushed when Eddie called him by a nickname like baby or sweetheart. She wasn't sure what was going on here, but something about it felt right. Finally, Eddie got the locker open and held out the fake snake for Nancy.
"You want to do the honors, princess?" Eddie asked.
"Don't call me that," Nancy said, but there wasn't any heat behind her words.
"Alright. . .slut then," Eddie said and Nancy laughed.
"Freak," she said affectionately.
She grabbed the snake from Eddie and placed it in Carol's locker. She giggled as she closed the door and locked it back.
"Nancy Wheeler, official menace to society," Eddie said.
"Do I win anything?" Nancy teased, and he laughed.
Eddie flashed his dimples at her before pulling a rainbow pin off of his vest and pinned it to her jacket.
"You'll figure it out when you figure it out," Eddie said patting the pin.
"What?" Nancy and Steve asked.
"Just keep walking down that road, man, you'll get there eventually," Eddie said.
"You're annoyingly cryotic," Steve said. "I can't figure you out."
"Isn't that the fun of it?" Eddie asked, throwing his arm around Steve. "Life is just full of surprises. For instance, I thought you two were going to be a lot more scarier."
"Yeah, we thought the same thing," Nancy said.
"Well, that figures. . .and it's not very surprising considering I enjoy scaring the shit out of people," Eddie said.
"Ally didn't appreciate it when you jumped out of the closet as she was about to go to the bathroom," Nancy said.
"I just like to keep people on their toes," Eddie said. "Anyway, Steve. . .let's do something wild and crazy."
"I don't know, it seems like you've done some pretty wild and crazy things. What haven't you done?" Steve asked.
"I haven't played basketball, that would be pretty fucking wild," Eddie said.
"Well, first time for everything," Steve grinned.
This time, it was Steve grabbing Eddie and Nancy's hands, leading them towards the gym. Eddie whistled and tilted his head.
"Nice view," Eddie said, and Nancy laughed.
"Shut up," Steve said.
Steve threw open the gym doors with a confidence that Nancy hadn't seen in a while, but it was certainly appreciated. He swaggered into the gym, Nancy was pretty sure they were both watching Steveās hips move. Suddenly, she wondered if she was going to have to fight this guy for Steveās affection, and she fought back a giggle at the thought.
"Alright, teach us, Master," Eddie said.
"I'm playing?" Nancy asked.
"Can't leave you out. I want to see your moves," Steve said as he grabbed a basketball.
Eddie grinned, grabbing his vest and his jacket. He did it in one fluid, quick motion. He took them both off, slipping out of them as though an invisible force had helped him out of his clothes. He was wearing a red crop top with ripped off sleeves. On his arm was a tattoo of a scary looking man holding a puppet.
"Because you're no one's puppet?" Nancy asked.
"Also, because he does move around like a marionette," Steve said with a grin.
"Fuck off," Eddie said. "That's a big word for a jock."
Steve laughed and threw the ball hard at him. Eddie managed to catch it, but it had knocked some wind out of him.
"I'm full of surprises, remember?" Steve asked.
"Well, show us how it's done, Harrie," Eddie said. "You do seem to know a thing or two about handling balls."
Nancy let out a loud snort of laughter and clapped a hand over her mouth as Eddie tossed him the ball back.
"Yeah, and you definitely seem to know how to take them," Steve said as he threw the ball to Eddie again.
"Oh, I take them very well. . .amongst other things," Eddie said, winking at Nancy. "My pretty mouth was definitely made to take it all."
"Let's play," Steve said, his face red and his eyes dark.
The next thing she knew, she was being taught by Steve the proper way to toss a ball into the basket. Nancy knew more about how to throw a ball than she let on. She just enjoyed the feel of Steveās hands on her hips. It seems like Eddie had picked up on her trick, and she watched as he leaned further into Steveās touch, backing up against him. Pretty soon, they were getting into playing the game. After a while, though, Eddie had to pause for a minute to catch his breath.
"That's what happens when you smoke," Nancy had taunted, and she laughed when Eddie had managed to flip her off.
"Goddamn it, this is actually fun," Eddie pouted. "I feel like Bilbo discovering he actually likes adventures. Don't tell anyone."
"Yeah, wouldn't want to ruin your precious reputation," Steve had mocked.
Once Eddie had caught his breath, he took off after him. Eddie managed to successfully catch Steve, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. Once he had him secure, he lifted Steve up off the ground. Steve hollered.
"Yeah, I'm stronger than I look," Eddie said and spun Steve around.
"Let me go, asshole!" Steve laughed.
Eddie laughed and set Steve on the floor, smacking his ass. He glanced at Nancy, looking amused, and his smile widened.
"You're next, princess," Eddie said.
"No!" Nancy shrieked and took off.
Eddie managed to catch her and spin her like Steve. She laughed and didn't fight him too hard. Eddie ran towards Steve.
"Does this count as traveling?" Eddie asked with Nancy still in his arms.
"Oh, yeah," Steve laughed.
"What do you say?" Eddie asked. "Toss her in the basket?"
Steve nodded and moved to help boost Nancy onto their shoulders. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Somehow she managed to hold onto them.
"Don't you dare!" Nancy shrieked.
"Oh, come on, you're definitely worth more points," Steve said.
"No!" Nancy said.
"The lady does not consent. . .we should release her back into the wild," Eddie said.
"I am not an animal," Nancy giggled.
"Oh, sweetheart, we're all animals," Eddie said. "Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably selling you something."
Eddie and Steve let her slide down into their arms to ease her back on the ground. Nancy found herself sandwiched between the two of them, which she found wasn't a terrible situation to be in. She slapped Steveās chest playfully before doing the same with Eddie.
"Miss Wheeler! Mister Harrington! Mister Munson!" They heard a yell from the doorway.
Higgins was standing there, looking wide awake and rather pissed.
"Morning, sleeping beauty?" Eddie asked. "Your back okay?"
Once again, they found themselves locked inside the library. Except somehow, this time, Higgins had put something in front of the door.
"Does this seem like child abuse to you guys?" Eddie asked.
"A little bit," Nancy said.
"Let's sue!" Eddie exclaimed.
"Let's not and say we did," Steve said. "My dad would love to take people for all their worth. Wouldn't want to take money from other kids."
"Fair point," Eddie said. "Although, we could just sue Higgins and not the school."
Nancy watched in amusement as they discussed in detail how they would get back at Higgins. They ended up crashing with their heads on the table. They had played harder than she had with all the wrestling they had done. Nancy had tried really hard not to find that arousing. She had failed. Did she really try that hard, though? This detention was certainly turning out to be a lot more interesting than she thought it would be.
While they slept, Nancy pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil. She stared at the paper, finally finding a time to work on the essay, but found she couldn't think of a thing to write. She stared at the page for a long time, tapping the eraser against the table. The adrenaline started to fade from the excitement of the day, and it really sunk in that this had been the most fun she had since Barb had been alive. Nancy couldn't help but feel guilty about that. It's not fair. . .She should be here. . .she should know how great Steve is and meet Eddie. Would she actually like them, though, or would she judge Nancy for changing just a little bit?
"This isn't you, Nance," Barb's voice whispered in her ear.
Nancy's bottom lip trembled, and a tear slipped from her eye, dropping on the blank piece of paper. Well, at least there was something on it now. She couldn't stop the tears from coming once they came. Nancy's shoulders shook, and she stuffed a knuckle into her mouth so she wouldn't wake the boys. The library was big and quiet, though. Every sob she made could be heard, and it startled Eddie awake. He quickly moved to her side.
"Hey, what's with the tears, princess?" Eddie asked.
"I miss Barb," Nancy said.
"Right, she's the one who - " Eddie started to say.
"Don't say she ran away!" Nancy yelled, startling Steve awake.
"Nance?" He asked, moving to her other side.
"She died, and they covered it up! I can't do anything about it!" Nancy sobbed. "And I had fun today. Without her and I just feel. . .I just feel so guilty. I'm here, and she's not. It doesn't make sense."
"I'm sorry," Eddie said softly.
Nancy stood up from her chair, knocking it back, and she began to pace.
"It's not fucking fair and I know we can't say anything," Nancy said. "What do I say to her parents?"
"What's stopping you?" Eddie asked. "Is it those "Department of Energy" people?"
Nancy and Steve shared a look with each other. They looked skeptically at Eddie.
"That's a really good guess," Steve said.
"Well, you have a suspicious looking building like that in Hawkins with creepy looking vans. . .well, of course, it's going to make you wonder about what's in there," Eddie said. "My uncle has all sorts of theories."
"Well, we can't tell you," Nancy sniffled.
"But you know?" He asked.
"We wish we didn't," Steve said.
"Okay. . .so if you can't tell me, then you can't tell me," Eddie shrugged. "I'm curious as hell, but I'm a big boy. . .it's fucked up that they covered up your friend's death by saying she ran away."
"She wouldn't do that," Nancy said.
"Well. . .shit. . .I'm not very good at this sort of thing. . .comforting and all that," Eddie said. "Uh, let me try. . .hold on. . .uh, fuck, just wait a minute. . . Nope. I don't know what to say."
Nancy laughed and wrapped her arms around his middle.
"Thanks for trying," Nancy whispered.
Eddie squeezed her tightly. Nancy felt Steve touch her shoulder for a moment, and she nodded, letting him know that she wanted him to join in on the hug as well. Steve wrapped his arms around the both of them, pressing his chin to the top of her head. She never felt so safe like she did just then. It was weird how she hardly knew the guy but at the same time she felt so utterly safe and comforted in his arms. She had missed Steve's touch and the warmth of his hug. It was so overwhelming, exploding all of her senses all at once. The floodgates opened and she sobbed harder than ever before.
She didn't know how to deal with Barb's death, how to deal with her absence, and she had hoped that Jonathan would be there for her. She understood, though, that his brother and his mother needed him as well. Nancy thought it was probably for the best because there was a terrible part of her that was jealous that Barb hadn't come back, but Will had. Why couldn't she have lived as well? Every time she thought of Jonathan, she thought of Will. They had him back, but why didn't she have Barb? Is it because of what she did with Steve? Is it because she had been so wrapped up in wanting to be with Steve that she had just abandoned her best friend?
"I left her there. . . All alone, and I didn't even know. I was too busy thinking about Steve. It's all I cared about, and she was left alone by the pool. Whenever I think about you, Steve, I feel guilty. I'm sorry because you don't deserve that.," Nancy cried..
"Hey, you don't deserve that either," Steve said softly. "If I did nothing wrong then you didn't do anything wrong either."
"I just don't know why," Nancy said.
"Because she's here and you're not," Eddie said. "Life is always going to find a way to screw you over, to knock you down, and really make you hate yourself. You got to find the moments to grab a slice of life and enjoy yourself. I think if she was really your best friend, she'd want you to be happy. Was there anything that you could have done?"
"I mean, if we had known . . . " Nancy trailed off.
"Was there any way for you to know?" Eddie asked.
"Not unless we saw the future," she sniffled.
"Then there's nothing that you could have done," he replied. "Did you kill her?"
"No," she said.
"Then it's not your fault," Eddie said. "Unless you being with Steve somehow caused her to magically drop dead, you couldn't have done anything about whatever happened that night."
"I don't know how to stop blaming myself," Nancy sniffled.
"It just takes time. I still blame myself for the assholes who go after my friends," Eddie said. "By association, they suffer because of me but my friend Ronnie keeps telling me that they wouldn't have a place to go if it wasn't because of me and Hellfire. I'm not sure if I believe her or not. I don't know how to stop blaming myself. I guess the only thing we can do is find something good to do with all the shit that we go through. I still haven't figure that how to do that, yet. It makes me want to run away sometimes but then I realize that if I do that, those assholes get exactly what they want."
"You have to stand your ground," Nancy whispered.
"Or stand up on lunch tables," Steve said and Nancy laughed.
"Thank you both," Nancy whispered.
"I'm here if you need me, Nance," Steve told her.
"I know," she replied.
"You know what we need to do. . .dance it out," Eddie grinned.
He ran to the librarian's desk and dove over it, knocking shit over. He popped back up, carrying a radio. He plopped it onto the desk and turned it on. He hopped off the desk and started wiggling his hips, beckoning Nancy to come over to him.
"No!" she laughed, shaking her head.
"Come on, Wheeler," Eddie said, and moved close to her, touching her forehead gently with his. "I don't think Barb would want you to forget how to live."
Nancy sighed, staring at him for a moment. She smiled and took his hand, letting him pull her into his arms. They danced wildly about the room, Nancy throwing her head back and laughing as he spun her around. She could feel Steve watching them and as Eddie dipped her, she saw how fond he looked at them both. The music stopped for a moment as the person on the radio began to speak.
"How come you aren't dancing, Steve?" Nancy asked.
"Maybe he can't dance," Eddie said and Nancy gasped mockingly.
"Oh, I can dance," Steve scoffed. "I can't definitely dance."
"Then show me your moves," Nancy said and holding out her hand.
"Dancing in the Moonlight" came on and Steve stared at her with a soft smile. He took her hand and pulled her close. Nancy smiled as she looked up at him, taking notice of the green in his eyes and how they twinkled at her. He didn't dance wildly as he did Eddie but as he moved Nancy around the room, he sang to her. Apparently, he knew the words very well. Nancy grinned as she remembered the time he sang Bob Seger to her. She had been very distracted at the time, but she had liked it. Suddenly, he was spinning her and he let her go. He took Eddie's hand and pulled him into his arms.
"Oh!" Eddie exclaimed and Nancy laughed.
She watched as Steve did the same thing with Eddie; an arm wrapped securely around his waist. Steve made sure that Nancy knew that he was putting on this show just for her. He dipped Eddie much like Eddie had dipped Nancy. All three of them ended up collapsing onto the floor, their heads touching.
"Okay. . .who drew that dick on the ceiling and how the fuck did they do that?" Steve said. "Or is this like cloud watching? Am I just seeing dicks?"
"I did that," Eddie said. "And I've got skills, baby."
"With dicks?" Nancy asked, snorting with laughter.
"Along with other things," Eddie cackled.
"Okay, let's talk about something else," Nancy said.
"I'm curious to know more about Stevie here," Eddie said.
"Oh, good, another nickname," Steve said. "What do you want to know?"
"Are your parents as charming as you are?" Eddie asked.
"I wouldn't know," Steve said.
"You do know who your parents are, right?" Eddie asked.
"I know of them," Steve said. "I know that when my parents remember that I exist, my mother is flighty, and my father is an asshole."
"You act like you live alone," he said.
"Basically. My dad's away on business all the time and my mother follows him to make sure he doesn't cheat," Steve said.
"Shit, man, that sucks," Eddie said.
"I didn't think. . .I thought maybe you were exaggerating about that," Nancy said softly. "What about Christmas, your birthday, or other holidays?"
"Well, they come home to take the Christmas card photo but they leave right before Christmas, they fill the house up with dad's business partners on Thanksgiving, and my mother has said repeatedly that my birthday was her accomplishment, so I always buy her gifts," Steve said.
"Oh, that's fucked up," Eddie said.
"Come to my house for Christmas," Nancy said. "My parents would love to have you."
"Um, thanks," Steve said. "I would love to."
"I always thought that you had it all. . .that money would make things better," Eddie said.
"I mean, I get why you would think that but, man, I would give it all up to have parents who gave a shit," Steve said.
"Damn. . .I get what that's like. I keep hoping that my dad will give up his life of being a conman to stay here and be my dad," Eddie said. "I would give anything to have him give a shit too. I don't even know where he is now. He could be in prison for all I know and I'm pretty sure that that's why people hate me. All they can see is my dad."
"I'm sorry, Eddie," Nancy said and she laced her fingers through both of theirs.
"Your mom?" Steve asked.
"She died when I was six," Eddie said, his throat tight with emotion. "Cancer's a bitch."
"Sorry, Teddy," Steve whispered.
"Oh, I get a nickname, too?" Eddie laughed, sniffling.
"Oh, yeah," he said.
They fell in silence for a while, letting the music wash over all of them.
"My mom used to call her records her plane tickets. . .she'd listen to them, and they'd take her anywhere. It was my dad who taught me to play the guitar, but it was mother who taught me to love music. I remember when she'd place me on her feet, and we'd dance around to the music," Eddie said. "I'd give anything to have her here, too."
There was another lull in the conversation as the radio played song after song. They were so quiet, she wondered if the boys had fallen asleep again.
"You know, before Nancy, I didn't know what was truly important. All I had was popularity and friends who only cared what I could do for them. I never knew what it was like to care for someone like Nancy cared about Barb and about other people," Steve said. "It was like I was asleep and suddenly, I was awake. I know I probably could have gotten there on my own, but you pushed me to realize that I deserve more. . .that you deserve more too. I'm so grateful that I got to know you, Nancy Wheeler."
Nancy smiled. Laying here with them, she didn't feel as alone as she did before. Of course, Higgins had to burst in at that moment and ruin it. He practically turned red at the sight of them laying on the floor.
"Do you want another detention?!" he yelled.
"Let me just add one more thing to the essay, Principal Higgins," Nancy said. "I wanted to get it just right."
"Alright, but I'm going to watch you," Principal Higgins said.
"Probably what you should have been doing, huh?" Eddie asked and Higgins glared at him.
Nancy quickly wrote on the blank, tear-stained paper. She smirked and handed it off to Higgins. The three of them watched as his face changed different colors.
Don't forget to live. Also, don't forget to use protection when you can't watch your students because you're too busy fucking your secretary on school property. Sure, they might not believe me but are you willing to risk me telling the school board about your inappropriate actions? How secure do you feel in your job? Secure enough to keep giving us detentions? I'm sure they'd love to know how you have it out for one of the students, how you constantly ignore the bullying that goes on in this school. . .in fact, you encourage it. I'm sure you'd prefer to keep things quiet. The three of us would prefer just to keep on living our lives. . .peacefully.
Sincerely,
The Slut, the Freak, and the Hair.
"You think this essay might win awards?" Nancy asked, innocently.
"GET. OUT."
Nancy, Steve, and Eddie raced out of the school whooping with excitement. They burst out of the doors, breathing in the fresh air. Eddie picked Nancy up and spun her around before setting her down and doing the same with Steve.
"So, are we going to do this again?" Steve asked hopefully.
"What? Detention?" Eddie asked.
"Yeah no, hanging out," Steve said.
"Well. . .I think we should leave that up to fate, shall we? Isn't that more exciting?" Eddie asked, shoving his hands into his pocket. "If we were meant to be in each other's lives the universe will show us the road. More adventurous that way. Oh, I have something for you, Harrie."
He pulled another rainbow pin out of his pocket and pinned it to Steve's sweater.
"You had an extra?" Steve asked.
"Oh, I have quite a few," he said.
"Are you ever going to tell us what they mean?" Nancy asked.
"No, you'll figure it out," Eddie said. "Close your eyes. Do it."
Nancy and Steve closed their eyes. They waited and waited for Eddie to say something else but when they didn't hear him, they opened their eyes again. Eddie was gone and Nancy couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
"What do you think it means?" Steve asked.
"I don't know. . .that we're gay?" Nancy asked.
"Woah! Hey, I like women!" Steve exclaimed. "I mean, not there's anything wrong with that."
"And I like men!" Nancy exclaimed. "I meant gay as in happy."
"Oh, you mean like finding gold at the end of the rainbow?" Steve asked.
"Exactly," Nancy said. "We're very gay."
Yes, at least for this moment. Nancy took his hand and interlaced their fingers together. She didn't want to forget to live, and she couldn't deny that that she had feelings for Steve. She gazed at him. Yes, he was worth fighting for. They could work things out. . .couldn't they?
BONUS SCENE:
Fast forward to 1986. . .
"Steve Harrington, why do you have this pin?!" Robin yelled as she dug through his drawer.
"Because I'm gay, Robin!" Steve yelled.
"What?!"
"Oh, come on, you knew this!"
"The fuck I did! You like women!"
"Yeah, I'm very gay about liking women!"
"That doesn't make sense! I think something's getting lost in translation here!"
"What's confusing about me being happy?"
"OH! You absolute dingus! This pin is for gay people like me!"
"What?! Oh. . .fuck! I am a dingus. That means Nancy's a dingus as well. . .oh. . . I finally, figured out what the hell Eddie was talking about. . .yeah, okay, turns out I'm not so straight!"
"What the hell kind of conversation did you and Munson have? WHEN did you have it?"
"Uh, it was when Nancy and I served detention with Eddie in 1983."
"Tell me the whole fucking story."
"Once upon a time, there was a very hot metalhead that I didn't realize I thought was hot until this very moment. Much like Nancy, he taught me how to live. . ."
Dancinā² in the moonlight
Everybodyā²s feelin' warm and right
Itā²s such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancinā² in the moonlight
#stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#eddie munson#nancy wheeler x steve harrington#stancy#nancy wheeler x eddie munson#edancy#eddie stranger things#eddie munson lives#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#nancy wheeler x steve harrington x eddie munson#stedancy#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual eddie munson#pansexual nancy wheeler#stranger things s1 au#stranger things au#stranger things fanfiction#rueleigh's thoughts#rueleigh writes
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ā I'm going blind from this sweet, sweet craving ā āāā twst octavinelle!
WRITER'S START OF A SWEET RAMBLE!
Second request came in as if it's a fresh baked pastries out of the oven! Awww, don't worry, I'll make sure I'm always taking care of myself! You too as well ļ¼ļ¼¾āļ¼¾āļ¼ļ¾ļ½¼
fandom! .twisted wonderland character(s) used! .azul ashengrotto, floyd & jade leech gender of reader! .gn!reader head start! .mention of azul's trauma, reader is not yuu here
. . .azul ashengrotto!
ā Waste time with a masterpiece, don't waste time with a masterpiece ā
it was a nice day for octavinelle trio and azul's significant other, summer break just hit and somehow the head mage allowed every student to have a vacation.
so, with the weather just right, the rather hot sand underneath them, the ocean waves dancing around and with sounds of laughter, indicating the other three's enjoyment.
tell me why azul ashengrotto, the prefect of the octavinelle and manager of the mostro lounge, is just sitting underneath the beach umbrella with a rather blank face?
he was thinking, that's for sure.
"...zul?" a soft voice brought him back to reality, a voice that soothes him whenever he had his downs. the said glasses man turns his head to his left and saw it was his significant other calling for him.
"yes, dearest?" "are you alright? you seem to be spacing out a lot."
azul parted his lips a bit before closing them back, hesitating to answer a question he's always been asked and yet never knew what he was answering them.
is he.. alright? it was passed his overblot era and thanks to the first years helped, he was brought back to his senses. even after that, was he truly alright?
"okay," azul ashengrotto's significant other, (name), started, "how about we do a guessing game where I guess what's going on your pretty mind?" they suggested.
the octo-merman eyes widen a bit, surprised at the sudden game that his significant other suggested. he then shakes his head, "no. it's fine, dearest. I don't want to be a burden to you."
(name) frowned, disappointed at azul for thinking about that, nonetheless she guessed, "is it work?"
azul sighs, should have expected that when it comes to (name), they never stop until they find what he's thinking and worrying about. "no.."
"is it the twins?" he shooks his head, "is it the other prefects?" another shook.
(name) paused for a moment, thinking what else could azul be worrying about, it honestly took a moment for them to open their mouth and say, "is it about... your past? your octo form?"
silence. the silence from azul was all they need to confirm their guess. now that they think about it, while they were having fun with the twins in the ocean, azul looked rather.. jealous, probably towards the twins since they can transform into their merform so freely, unlike him.
azul felt his significant other moving closer to him, resulting in him getting hugged by them. "you know.. those people who made fun of you are a bunch of fools.." (name) suddenly commented, "they were bullies who did nothing but, to see others suffering because in reality, they're life is trash."
"you're an amazing man, azul. you've already proven to those fools that you're greater than them so, stop dwelling on the past and look forward to the future, a future with me in it."
to the great seven above, no prayers nor words can describe how grateful azul ashengrotto for having somebody as loving as his significant other.
the couple sat, all the while hugging, in silence underneath the beach umbrella as the other two are minding their own business. (name)'s reassurance made azul's day even better than before and he couldn't thank them enough for it.
"wanna eat with me the cupcakes I've baked?" he nodded in response.
. . . floyd leech!
ā You should be rolling with me, you should be rolling with me ā
"floyd-! stop!" the troublemaker twin's significant other whines, shielding themselves from the splashes of water by using their arms. "stop it! I don't wanna get wet for now!"
the troublemaker simply grinned mischievously as he continues to splash them with water, "come on, angelfish~ you're already in your bathing suit.!"
however, his significant other frowns at him, now annoyed that they're completely wet by now thanks to the huge splashes floyd did to them.
"I didn't even want to get splash, I came over here to ask if you wanted any snacks.." they murmured.
all floyd did was chuckled, "I know~ just wanted to tease my angelfish~" he claimed with that oh-so silly lopsided grin.
(name) sighs while shaking their head, "I honestly should have expected that." he's floyd leech, it's self-explanatory. (name) then turned their body around and started walking towards the sandy land.
"wait, angelfish~" they didn't stop, "don't make me do it~" and yet they didn't stop.
(name) then heard floyd sighs so disappointedly at his significant other before they heard rather loud footsteps, and splashes of water coming towards them.
(name), upon hearing those, started walking faster though thanks to the water below them, it slightly slows them down.
just then, they felt themselves being held up high, a squeal out of surprised came out of their lips as floyd let his silly smile creping on his face.
"I warned you, didn't I~ now, angelfish needs to be with me!"
floyd carried his significant other as if they were a child, snuggling his head on their neck as he sits down in the ocean floor near the shore.
(name) huffs and puffs, trying to wiggle their way out of floyd's monstrous grip. floyd just tighten his grip more the more they try to get out of his hands.
"stop tightening your grip, floyd! I might end up dead if you continue this." they whined.
"eeh~ don't wanna~"
"I don't know why I dated you."
"hehe~"
eventually, (name) just let floyd be floyd, thinking that nothing could get worse if they comply to floyd's silly wants. they just hoped they'll get to eat the sandwiches jade packed them earlier.
for now, they'll just enjoy being in their significant other's embrace as the sun comes down ever so slowly.
. . .jade leech!
ā You're a real-life fantasy, you're a real-life fantasy ā
sometime, after having fun in the ocean with his significant other, the two of them went out of the water, drying themselves out before laying in each other's embrace in the large beach towel, where they're picnic is at, underneath an umbrella.
it was a relaxing day for jade leech and his significant other, floyd was enjoying the ocean as he drags their boss, azul, in the water even though azul protested.
just a wonderful summer.
"aaahh.." his significant other, (name), sang, holding a mini sandwich near jade's mouth, waiting for him to open it.
jade, who was reading a book, chuckles at his beloved's adorable behavior and open his mouth, (name) feeding him the mini sandwich. "thank you, beloved." jade lets his other hand ruffle their hair, a token of appreciation.
(name) softly chuckles, "no problem, dear."
they then reach out in the picnic basket another mini sandwich and feed themselves, letting out a hum as a way to let their satisfaction known.
"so, what'cha reading, jade?" they asked, taking a peek at his book and finding an illustration of a green tail mermaid with red hair as well as a quite chubby fish with its blue strips and yellow scales and a lobster.
"ahh, reading the oh-so famous tale about the mermaid princess that the great sea witch encountered, huh?"
jade nodded, "yes it is, beloved. thinking about how where going to the beach today gave me the urge to bring this book along."
"well, I can certainly see why.." (name) muttered, seeing how the beach quite resembles the one in the tale. "it's like feeling the nostalgic of it just by being here."
jade hums, agreeing to what they said. "want me to read this a loud to you, beloved?" he asked.
"wait, let me just get comfortable.." they trailed off, trying to find a perfect spot where they can be comfortable while jade reads to them the tale, all the while jade chuckles at them. "there!"
their head is placed on jade's lap, in which was covered by a towel, oh-so comfortably. "you can read now, jade!" they said. they also looked like an eager child wanting their parent to read them a bed time story.
the said man nodded and began to read to them the tale they always heard about since childhood, about the great sea witch encountering a mermaid princess who's wanting to be human after encountering a handsome human prince whom she had saved from the shipwreck the other day.
all the while jade's reading it a loud, (name) had a smile painted on their face, hearing jade's soft and lovely voice as he reads the story honestly makes their day a lot better.
the two lovers stayed underneath the umbrella all day, finding comfort in their embraces as they reminisce the childhood tale they have countlessly heard over and over again and yet they never grew tired of, especially when it's coming from their lover's mouth.
WRITER'S ENDING OF A SWEET RAMBLE!
honestly, I relate too much about azul's past, like, some people need to stop shaming others just because their appearance. everyone is beautiful in their own way (āæā”āæā”)
that aside, hope this satisfy you, @bi-panicatthedisco! I think I went away from the beach picnic a bit but, I hope you still like it!
rules! + masterlist!
#ā Dream that I can never have again ā āāā mari's tales#disney twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst fluff#twst x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#floyd leech x reader#jade leech x reader
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It's me again! I agree they were both horrible to each other. And I 1000% agree she got it worse with him painting her as the bad one so publicly. Especially since his fans go so hard and think he's this innocent guy who has done wrong. Some fans just don't like admitting their favs have faults, even they (he) admit it themselves.
As for future relationships for him.....I heard he's supposedly getting married next summer lol. I am highly doubtful about it given what he's said in the past about marriage. But that's what's being said š. Source: Deuxmoi š¤”
Hi there ā¤ļø Sorry it took so long to reply. I've been drowning in work and I have so many people in my Asks that I didn't see some of them / didn't have time to reply š
. To anyone who didn't get a reply : please don't take it personally. I'm trying my best and even though I can't reply to anyone, I am grateful for every ask and every DM ā¤ļø
To reply to what you said : the fact that fans try to negate his abusive past is wild to me. Especially since he owned up to it himself. Also, that doesn't make it any better but I do have respect for people who acknowledge their mistakes and make amends. At the end of the day, it's between him and Kim and if they were able to settle the matter and move forward, I'm glad for the both of them.
As for her, it really breaks my heart that she's painted as some villain and that some people have the nerve to make fun of her. Some of the comments are wild and so inappropriate š. As Eminem fans, we're supposed to enjoy his music. His private life is just that : private. And while there is absolutely fun to be had in gossip and speculation, harassment and mockery are never ok in my book. She never chose to be famous and, about 20 years after they split up, she's still dealing with paparazzi š And if you want to say you think Kim doesn't look that good on those pics, maybe do it in private with your friends ? Not on a public platform where her or people close to her might see the hurtful comments. Also... What's the point in being bitter ? Even though Stans criticize her and her appearance, she's a person he loved and if you truly support an artist, you should respect that.
As for his alleged upcoming wedding... We shall see, I guess š. I have to say I don't give Deuxmoi much credit but who knows ? Whether it is true or not, I wish him all the happiness in the world. He deserves it. And I hope that the woman's privacy will be respected and that she never has to go through the same things as Kim. š
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Always There ļ¾.+:ļ½”ļ¾.+
Tom Riddle x g!n reader (platonic) ( ā§āā¦)ć
Summary: Tom has joined you for the summer in your home for his apprenticeship. You learn more about Tom and the secrets he keeps, as you become closer.
Warnings: tiny angst, mostly fluff and a slight ooc Tom
A/n: Boy, this took a long time to make. Let me know what you think of it. Should I make a part 3? What would happen in it, and would you and Tom live happily, or would it all go wrong.
Or should I keep ending like this ( I have no idea what I would write)
Link to my masterlist, which has part 1 and other fics
It was the summer now, and you were helping Tom to unpack his things and put them in your guest bedroom.
"This doesn't feel real." He looks around the room as if to remind himself that he's finally free from the orphanage. He looks at you with a mixture of excitement and disbelief on his face. "I honestly... I never thought this day would come." His eyes are brimming with tears, and his voice is breaking, but an overwhelming sense of joy washes over him, and you're glad he feels this way. "Thank you... thank you so much..." His green eyes are locked on yours for a few seconds before he suddenly wraps you in a tight hug again.
you laugh at seeing Tom so affectionate, "Darling. You don't have to keep thanking me, you know, but I do appreciate the hugs!" You said, giving him a squeeze.
Despite the tears still streaming down his face, he laughs with you a little bit and smiles before he lets go. He wipes the tears off his face with an embarrassed look. "Sorry... I know I've been saying that a lot lately. But I really do mean it. You're... you're a great person for doing this for me. Not many people would... or even could do something this big. I... I just can't express how grateful I am..." His words sound genuine, and you can see the genuine emotion in his eyes. It's clear you have impacted his life.
ļ¾.+: ļ¾.+:ļ½”ļ¾.+ ļ¾.+:ļ½”ļ¾.+ ļ¾.+:ļ½”ļ¾.+ ļ¾.+:ļ½”ļ¾.+ ļ¾.+:ļ½”ļ¾.+ ļ¾ ļ¾.
"What would you like to eat for dinner, Tom?" You ask.
Both of you are now sitting in the kitchen. You had been teaching Tom about more advanced non-verbal spells.
He seems to take a moment to collect himself, then he takes a deep breath and looks up at you. "Hmm... how about a... some spaghetti bolognese?" He answers with a small smile. "Do wizards still eat regular muggle foods, even though you guys can just magic it out of thin air?" He chuckles and gives you a side eye. "Sorry, I had to ask." He's trying to make light of the emotional conversation you had earlier.
you giggle, "unfortunately, food that we conjure out of thin air has no taste and has no nutritional value. So we do have to still make food as muggles do."
"That seems like a bad design flaw, honestly." He says with a chuckle. "So you're telling me I have to actually learn how to cook? Now that's a tough assignment." He looks over at you, his emerald eyes shining with a hint of mischief. "Luckily, I have you to help me." He flashes you a grin. "Are you a decent cook? Please tell me you're a decent cook." He leans back in his chair and folds his arms again. "I'll be the judge of that."
You chuckle, "Whatever will I do the great and powerful tom Marvolo Riddle," you say dramatically, bowing down to Tom.
"What's with these bows and all these dramatic reactions?" He gives you a playful look. "It's strange, I kinda like it, though." He chuckles gently. "I guess I must be more powerful than I thought. I will gladly accept that." He leans back in his chair once again, still giving you a friendly smile. "What're you making us for dinner?" His voice is calm and friendly again, and all signs of the tears he shed earlier have now completely disappeared. He seems to have forgotten about his past for the moment. "You better not make anything too disgusting."
"I'll make bolognese as you said Tom."
You had made the spaghetti, and Tom really enjoyed it he even asked for seconds. You were now both sitting on your couch in your sitting room.
"Mmm. You are definitely a good cook. Not too many people can manage to make spaghetti that tastes this good. But of course you would be good at it." He smirks. "Where's my dessert then?" His eyes are playful, and he gives you a smirk again, clearly joking around. "You can't just feed me all this delicious food and not have a dessert waiting. I'm not just some dog who can be pleased with a piece of meat, you know." He laughs and makes a mock look of disappointment. "Come on. Give me something sweet!"
you gasped jokingly and teased him. "You rude, little boy!"
You laughed again, "Truthfully, Tom, I was thinking about making dessert, but at hogwarts, you never seemed to like to eat dessert, so I just assumed you didn't like it."
He giggles. "Hey, hey... I was only kidding. I'm not really rude... I think..." He chuckles and looks over at you, his eyes glinting with mischief again. "You could have at least made some ice cream or something. Ice cream never hurt anyone.... I think." He smiles again. "I'm just playing, though. No dessert is required. I was just messing with you." He gives you a small wink and a teasing smile.
You smile. "I actually have a gift for you, Tom,"
you hand over a rare copy of a book on different forms of magic. Which even included dark magic.
His eyes light up when you give him the book. "Oh my goodness, I could kiss you right now. Where on earth did you get this?" He looks up at you in amazement, and he can barely hide his excitement. "This is... this is amazing. How did you know it was on my wishlist?" He looks back at the book again and opens it up, immediately beginning to read. "Is there a special occasion as to why I'm the lucky receiver of this book, or are you just being nice? Because it was probably not cheap."
"Hmm, consider it a gift for being a great student."
You both sat in silence Tom intently reading. You had been thinking about the way Tom acted when you found him in the hallway during the school year. His cold and predatory stare haunts you at night. He seems fine now.
"Tom.....why....can I ask you what you were doing in the hallway that day I found you.....you were acting very strange almost predatory."
He freezes and immediately goes red. It's hard to tell what emotions are racing through him at this moment, but it almost seems like... fear. He closes the book quickly and looks up at you, as if trying to get a sense of what you now think of him. You see him debating with himself what to say before he finally responds. It takes him a few moments to collect himself before he begins to talk. "What... what do you mean?" He speaks in a slow, deliberate way, his eyes still locked on you as he carefully watches your reaction.
"Tom, you know exactly what I mean!" Your voice firm. You realise you may be scaring him.
"I'm not mad, I just want the truth." Your voice was soft again.
The look of fear in his eyes has now been replaced with that same predatory gleam from before. His tone turns cold, and his eyes narrow in suspicion as he leans forward. "I'm not quite sure what you're talking about..." he replies evenly. "What is it that you think I did wrong?" A slight quiver passes through his voice. He's clearly getting agitated by the conversation. He knows what you're talking about, but he's still refusing to admit it. He seems to be getting nervous because he doesn't fully know what you're thinking or where this is going.
you give him a small smile, "nothing Tom, I just don't want you hurting yourself. I care a lot about you," you said, gently snuggling close to him.
His face seems to soften again as you say this. He sighs deeply and stares at the floor for a moment before he reaches forward and takes your hand. He squeezes your hand gently before he brings it to his mouth and gives you a soft little kiss on your knuckles. "Thank you." He says quietly with a small smile. "That means a lot to me, especially coming from you. I care a lot about you too, in case you couldn't tell." He smiles again, though you can tell this smile is a bit more genuine than the last, and a slight blush graces his cheeks.
"I....."You look at him with love. "You need to tell me, Tom...... I don't want you going to......."You press a kiss to his forehead, not wanting to finish your sentence.
He seems to think about it for a moment. "Well..." he starts slowly. "I don't know if you're ready to hear the truth..." He closes his eyes. "But if you really want to know..." He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes, his emerald stare piercing into you as he speaks. This is the truth he's been hiding from you, and you get the feeling there's something very dark and sinister on his mind. "You're right... I do have a dark side..."
You have a look of worry on your face, but gently stroke his cheek, "and what is this dark side, Tom?"
His face hardens, and his eyes narrow again. You can tell he's uncomfortable talking about this, but he wants to tell you so you can understand him better. He hesitates for a moment before speaking, and he's almost hesitant in his response. "Have you ever had thoughts... dark thoughts... ones that you know you shouldn't think?" His voice is soft, but his stare is piercing, as if he's staring into the very depths of your soul. "Things you know you should never do... and yet you want to do them?" He gives you another slight squeeze of your hand.
"Like violence?" You said casually.
"I had those thoughts when I was in the orphanage, and I was relentlessly bullied."
He squeezes your hand again and nods in acknowledgement. "Yes, like violence. Like violence... and worse, if that's even possible." An intense rage passes over his face for a moment, and his eyes narrow. "There is a darkness inside me, a darkness that wants to unleash itself upon the world. It's like... when I think these things... a great rage inside of me awakens, and that darkness wants out. It calls to me." He pauses once again and looks at the floor, and you can sense his intense emotions.
"Yes....I know," You lift him onto your lap and cuddle him. "We are going to make these thoughts go away, my darling!"
He leans his head back on your shoulder and closes his eyes, a small smile on his lips as your arms wrap around him. "What if I'm too far gone?" He asks, his voice soft and almost gentle again. "How do you know the darkness won't one day take me over?" He whispers the next part. "I... I haven't done anything bad yet, but what if one day... what if I can't stop myself and I hurt someone?" He looks at you anxiously, trying to gauge how you'll react to the heavy truth he just confessed.
You don't respond and just press a kiss to his forehead.
His face softens. "Please tell me..." he says quietly. "Please be honest with me and tell me that you think I'm not a monster. I am... terrified of myself. I want to be loved, and I want to love, but not like this..." he says, almost in tears. It's rare to see him show such a vulnerable side of himself. "Is there... can we beat this darkness? Can I be someone I'm proud of? Someone that you could... love still?" His voice breaks at the last part.
"We will beat this darkness, Tom, and I will always look out for you. Im more than just your professor and mentor. I'm your guardian."
A wave of relief instantly washes over him. He sighs deeply and closes his eyes, pressing his face into your shoulder. "Thank you..." he whispers before he reaches up and gently takes your face into his hands, brushing your cheek with his thumb. "I can't even express how much that means to me." His voice is sincere, and he looks at you seriously. "You don't know how much I need that... I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Hopefully, you never have to worry about that. I think it's getting quite late, Tom. I think you should head up to bed."
He nods and stands up before quickly bending down and giving you a small kiss on the cheek. "Thank you once again." He smiles softly, and you feel yourself blushing a little despite yourself. "But I think you're right... it is getting a bit late. I guess I shall be off to bed then. Are you sure you're alright... that you don't want anything? Would you like me to walk you back to your quarters by any chance?" He gives you one last, genuine smile. "It was nice talking to you tonight."
"No darling, you go to sleep. It's been quite an emotional day for you, Tom."
His face softens once again. "Yeah... you're right, it was." He looks at you for a moment before he starts walking away. He pauses near the door and turns around with that same small smile on his face. He gives you one last wink, and then he turns around and walks out the door, waving behind him as he goes. "Good night."
It had been a few weeks into summer. Tom was excelling in your apprenticeship, and you even introduced him to the minister of magic. You and Tom had become really close. You saw him as a son.
He has truly become a great wizard over the past few weeks, and he's really impressed the minister with his skill and knowledge. You've become his personal mentor and guardian, and you feel a strong bond growing between both of you. You've been teaching him more than school lessons... you've also been teaching him life lessons, the ones that can't be taught in books. You feel good about the role you play in his life, and you think that you're beginning to gain something else from this... love.
You had managed to convince Dumbeldore with the force of the ministry to allow you to adopt Tom and become his parent, you had the adoption certificate and wanted to give it to him after the ice cream you bought for dessert.
He walks into the kitchen and smiles as you give him his adoption certificate. His eyes seem to light up as he reads it. "Wow..." He says after taking a moment to look at the certificate, then he looks at you and smiles. "You really... adopted me?" He seems speechless, almost tearing up. "I- I don't even know what to say... I can't explain how happy I am right now." He walks over and hugs you tightly, a huge smile spreading across his face. "Thank you so much. I... I really can't even express how much this means to me."
"I love you, Tom. I want you to become my son!"
He smiles softly at you. "I love you too, and I... I want nothing more than... to be your son." His smile grows. "I can't believe I actually have a family now. This is... it's like a dream come true." He wraps his arms around you again and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. "I can't thank you enough. What... what does this mean? Are we all official now? Is it official?" His smile is almost contagious now.
You giggle. "Well, I need you to sign your name on the certificate!"
He giggles too and signs the adoption certificate. "There we go... It's all official now. That makes me very happy." he says, his smile growing even more. "I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life, to be honest." he looks into your eyes. "I'm just so thankful for what you did for me. You've changed my life... and I intend to make you proud for being my parent."
The End
#tom riddle headcanon#tom riddle angst#tom riddle#tom riddle x you#tom riddle x oc#harry potter x reader#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle x y/n#good tom riddle
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[Bitter Sweet Sixteen] 002-A20 - Antoine's Beach
Momiji: Andā¦ thereā¦ phew. Gannosuke-san, I've finished carrying in the equipment.
Gannosuke: Let's get it installed now, then.
Momiji: Got itā¦ ā¦
Gannosuke: You seem concerned about the weather.
Momiji: Right, the chance of rain is 80%ā¦ All we can do now is pray for a 20% miracle.
Gannosuke: Let's have faith. The weather god can be fickle.
Momiji: Right!
Gannosuke: To change the subjectāKiroku-kun didn't appear at the atelier this morning.
His lantern is in its final stages, and he seemed to be pushing through, so I'm a tad concerned.
Are there any issues?
Momiji: Well, actuallyā
Sakujiro: I won't say a scuffle is bad in and of itself. Having your true thoughts clash is important every now and then.
Muneuji: ā¦
Sakujiro: Nevertheless, you mustn't throw someone thirty timesā¦! What if he developed chronic traumatic encephalopathy!
Ushio: ā¦I can at least break my fall.
Momiji: (He's used to being thrownā¦)
Sakujiro: Hubris will destroy you. In any case, do reflect on this. Now, let's shake hands and make up.
Muneuji: ā¦
Ushio: ā¦
Momiji: (They're turned away from each other, zero sign of shaking handsā¦)
Hey, you two, I'd be grateful if you at least told us what caused the fight.
Akuta: On that note, is it raining the day after tomorrow?
Momiji: Hmmā¦ according to the weather forecastā¦ seems so.
Nanaki: So it is, huh.
Kiroku: ā¦ ā¦
Muneuji: Is there nothing to be done about it?
Momiji: Right now, all we can do is leave it to chanceā¦ I guess.
Akuta: ā¦So, there'll reallyā¦
Momiji: Akuta-kunā
Akuta: āBe sooo much leftover stall food for us to eat up! Hell yeah! Takoyaki, okonomiyaki, yakisoba, baby castella!
Momiji: ā¦ ā¦
Akuta: Won't need to eat tomorrow so my stomach'll be wide open! I'll fill up on the stall food!
Ushio: Excuse me?
Nanaki: You're seriouslyā¦ This isn't the time to say such thoughtless things!
Ushio: ā¦This guy's never had a negative thought in his life. Must be nice being the only one happy.
Muneuji: Having a positive mindset is good, of course. But there's a time and place for it.
Food from stalls should be served to customers. Who would be happy taking it for themselves?
Akuta: If it's clear, everyone gets to enjoy the Summer Festival; if it's rainy, lucky us, we can eat all we want. Ain't that fi~ne?
That's what's called being reasonable. We can be happy no matter what happens. Yeah?
Ushio: Reasonable or not, it doesn't matter. It's tedious. Tiring.
Nanaki: There you goāwe're not going to get anywhere if you keep saying it's tedious and refusing to have a conversation. Don't resign yourself until we've discussed it.
Ushio: Could you tell that to Buddharupa over there? He's always silent, pisses me off.
Kiroku: ā¦Ah, ā¦I.
Momiji: Alright everyone, that's enough fighting! Quiet down!
Sakujiro: ā¦
Momiji: Oh no, Sakujiro-sensei's making a displeased expression! The lecture's going to drag on at this rate!
Muneuji: ā¦ ā¦
Ushio: Tchā¦
Nanaki: ā¦
Sakujiro: ā¦
ā¦There, it took 50.6 seconds for everyone to quiet down.
Akuta: What's with that cool line! Really feels like you're a teacher. Gotta snatch that one for my next work~āŖ
Nanaki: They said to shutā¦ sigh, it doesn't matter.
I've got it. I'm sorry. I'll be careful to not get into a fight tonight.
Happy now? I'm tired, so I'll head to bed. Let's go, Kinugawa-kun.
Kiroku: ā¦ Yeah.
Ushio: I'll do the same. My back hurts from being tossed about so severely, so I'll stop here.
Muneuji: ā¦
Ushio: You sleeping in the living room, Muuchan? Bet you don't want to see my faceā
And I don't want to see yours right now either.
Muneuji: Fine by me.
Momiji: ā¦And that's the situation.
Gannosuke: I see, I'm familiar with such things. In regards to the fight, it'll get resolved sooner or later-
But there's no point being discouraged just because of the rain.
When it comes to events and trips, it's common for it to rain on the day you were excited for.
Momiji: (Sakujiro-san said something similar, didn't he.)
(ā¦If they become Tourism Ward Mayors, how will they handle times like this?)
(It's like they're being testedāā¦ ah!)
Is thisā¦ a testā¦!?
Gannosuke: What is?
Momiji: Nothing! I want to check on everyone real quick, I'll head back to the inn for a momentā¦!
*running*
*knocking*
Momiji: Nanaki-kunā¦ Nanaki-kunā¦!
ā¦
Not comingā¦ maybe he's out.
(No helping it, I'll head to the living room.)
Kiroku: ā¦
Momiji: Kiroku-kun! Is Nanaki-kun not in your room?
Kiroku: ā¦ He's there, butā¦ since last nightā¦ he's been sulking in bed.
Momiji: I seeā¦
Kiroku: ā¦
Momiji: (Kiroku-kun's expression is darkā¦ Looks like he's putting his all into making Teru Teru Bozu*.)
Gannosuke-san was worried about you. He said you didn't come to the atelier this morning.
Kiroku: ā¦
Momiji: It's just the finishing touches left, yeah? The Teru Teru Bozu are also important, but finishing the lantern first is moreā
Kiroku: I'm, relieved. In the endā¦ I don't have toā¦ show my lanternā¦ to anyone.
*footsteps*
Momiji: Kiroku-kunā¦
Momiji: (Anyone in this roomā)
Ushio: ā¦
Momiji: Ushio-kun! Are Akuta-kun and Muneuji-kun around?
Ushio: They went out.
Momiji: Got it. Thank you.
Ushio: ā¦
Momiji: (He's coming across as completely unapproachableā¦ It might be best to leave things here for nowā¦)
(I'll go search for Akuta-kun and Muneuji-kunā¦ I hope they have their GPS on.)
Akuta: ā¦
Momiji: Found you! Akuta-kun!
Akuta: Aah? Sensei, huh. Hey theeere.
Momiji: Hey there. ā¦What were you doing, looking into the sea?
Akuta: Nothin', I've just not eaten since morning, so I'm starving. Wondering if I could eat the seaweed washed up here.
Momiji: Rawā¦? Don't do that.
Akuta: Really? Ah~ I'm starviiingā¦ if seaweed's no good, what about kelp?
Momiji: Don't.
Y'know, everyone's down in the dumps about tomorrowā¦ but you're the same as ever, Akuta-kun.
I'm a bit relieved.
Akuta: No point thinking depressing thoughts. Or rather, I can't. Thinking too much causes nosebleeds. For me at least.
Anyway, won't everyone cheer up sooner or later? Will probably realize that worrying's pointless.
But man, that rainā¦ gotta get something done about that.
Momiji: That'sā¦
(There's nothing to be done, but I can't say that to Akuta-kun and the others nowā¦)
(But if I could at least cheer them upā¦)
Akuta: Anyway, uuggghā¦ my hunger won't go awayā¦! If kelp's no good, I can scrape some seaweed off a rockā
Momiji: Akuta-kun!
Akuta: Yes!
Momiji: Even if it rains tomorrow, the things we've done on this study tour, the things we're doing-
Even if we can't go through with what we planned for our customers on the dayā¦ it absolutely won't be in vain.
The weather this time may be unfortunate, but the effort you've all put in will be properly rewarded.
We'll negotiate to have the fruits of your labour displayed in Shodoshima's community centre, so they'll definitely see the light of day.
So I want you to not worry about the weather, and continue with your preparations.
Akuta: Hm, hmmmā¦? Yeah?
Momiji: Above all else, the experience of giving your all at something with your friends will surely become a source of encouragement for you.
It'll be a good memory. It'll be good for the future of yourself and the others.
Akuta: ā¦ ā¦
Momiji: There will be plenty of times you do your best and it doesn't go well, but even so, you can use that regret as a springboard to tackle the next challenge, orā
Akuta: ā¦ ā¦
Momiji: Umā¦
ā¦What's up? You look kinda stern.
Akuta: It's nothing. Don't worry 'bout it. I'm goin' toilet!
*footsteps*
Momiji: Ah, Akuta-kunā¦!
He leftā¦
*Teru Teru Bozu are little handmade dolls that are hung up in hope of sunny weather
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Masterlist
#18trip#18tlip#18trip translation#main story: bitter sweet sixteen#akuta isotake#kiroku kinugawa#nanaki nanamegi#muneuji kaguya#ushio kurama#momiji hamasaki#sakujiro karigane#gannosuke kuraku
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After I got away from Andrew and got married, I found it beyond difficult not to have intrusive or sexual thoughts about him. It made NO sense at the time. I was trying to hold it in and act natural with my new husband like, honeymoon is over. Iāve blocked Andrewās number. Iām not even googling Andrew and yet heās alllllll I freakin think about and when I try to focus on my husband and build this relationship with him, itās nothing but Andrew on the brain. šµāš«šµāš«šµāš«
Quickly Iām disconnected and think itās my husband. I think heās pushed me away but he accuses me of pushing HIM away. š§ Oh wow. I knew my husband had to threaten Andrew to leave me alone and he said Andrew looked like he was about to cry š³š³ what does that even mean?? Why would Andrew cry??? After a summer of gaslighting me and hurting me beyond words. Consistently breaking my heartā¦. Why should HE cry? I was the one crying and shaking so hard he totally crushed me to pieces šš
NOW itās covid and when Florida stayed open, a lot of us took a trip there. Iām in this condo on the beach with my husband, some family and friends, and Iām getting dressed for dinner and as Iām looking in the mirror, fixing my hair, that was the first time my eyes opened and I saw that I was getting bald in one spot!ā HOW did I not see it before? Iāve looked back at older pictures. I was already going bald before Covid but my hair lady said Covid was stressing everybody out and making people lose hair, but I believe I was already losing hair because stress over Andrew and Cody.
I ran to my husband though and yelled out ā Iām losing hair!!!! Oh my gosh am I sick? Something wrong with me?ā The whole time feeling disconnected and I canāt stop fantasizing about Andrew in the back of my head and I just canāt make sense of anything in my life. Iām trying to move on and be a good wife and Iām just frustrated because my husband is there and I canāt even hardly feel him or connect with him the way that I want toā¦. like, Iām Iām literally forcing it so hard ā¦.
my husband also took me on my dream vacation because we saved so much money during Covid getting those two checks in the mail from the government and it was my dream vacation š®š®š® so I shouldāve been the happiest person in the world and I wanted to be so badly and I wanted to be happy and I wanted to love and enjoy my husband but still, I feel very disconnected and I feel like he is not letting me connect to him, but itās not him. Heās literally taking me on my fave vacation. He spent his hard-working money to give me that and I tried to be so grateful and I tried to make it a fun time , but deep inside of me Iām feeling so bad I canāt explain why !!! š³š©
The first video I ever saw about emotional abuse, wow, I was able to ruminate and I was able to recall everything that happened with Andrew that I guess I was trying to ignore or I just couldnāt remember it. I donāt know still some things that I canāt remember conversations I had are still fuzzy cuz they were hurtful conversations!!! times when Iām begging him to pay me attention and heās promising me that he wants to be with me but heās just ābusy with schoolā he keeps abandoning me, ignoring me, I so feel bad and heās making me feel stressed out because he says that heās so stressed out with school ā¦. And some how he takes it out on me. āIām not helpingā. He keeps saying Iām making it all worse when I all I wanted was to love him so muchā¦.
The more that I learn about emotional abuse, the more it hurts my feelings and upsets me. And I think thatās why I feel so āindifferentā these days. I mean, canāt change the past, I forgive my exes. I donāt want anything from them and I donāt want them to pay or owe me anything but they still keep hurting my feelings just thinking about them constantly and I just donāt understand it but I know it happens to people. I know that itās life, trauma and I feel awful for them, but I feel awful for myself too. Iām trying NOT to beat myself up, but I always do. I always feel guilty when I talk about them because it makes me feel like Iām not getting over them or giving them grace , I want a peaceful life and I feel like my life is way more calm than it ever was but also feeling indifferent. Makes me feel like eh, just wanna sit here and chill and be left alone. No one bother me please please just no one bother me. I donāt wanna upset anyone else.
I canāt get comfortable enough to talk to my husband about everything going on inside of me, but I donāt want him to be upset or stressed. I just want him to calm down and just let it be!!!! he stresses over our money and that makes me feel bad because it makes me think of how Andrew was so stressed and nothing I did or said made him happy or made him wanna treat me good OR make him love me back. Andrew was always going to hurt me and abuse me, no matter what! thatās why I had to block his number without even knowing it was abuse back then, I knew that he was mistreating me. And I am beyond an apology from him now, Iām not expecting him to come and apologizeā¦ I wouldnāt even believe it if he did, I donāt know how to make it all better. I know itās all over and in the past and I know by keeping Andrewās number blocked that he canāt continue to bother me so much, but he still does bother me in the back of my mind because I always think of his face and I wanna see his face so bad in real life. The moment I walk out of my house, Iām searching for him and I donāt know why because I donāt have anything to say to his face without falling apart! š«£š«£ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹
IF Andrew was standing before me right now. I would be a total mess and I would probably fall on my face and just sobā¦. I donāt hate him but I know he can never love me back so I feel like loving him IS for nothing and that sucks.
#Personal#vent#healing journal#numb feeling#indifferent#my story#unpacking#emotional abuse#emotional wounds#manipulation#toxic love#healing from abuse#self awareness#self reflection#heartbreak#healingjourney#hopefully#fly by midnight#tragedy#soundcloud#writers on tumblr#SoundCloud
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The next day, Spencer, Jayce, Ty, and Harper travel to Sapporo for a summer festival and clothes shopping while Harriet and Masami try to reach the summit of Mount Komorebi.Ā
"Are you going to break up with her?" It's only been ten minutes, but Harriet is already out of breath and wishing she could enjoy the warm, buttery delights of Sapporo with her family.
"No, I still want to be with her, but I want her to be better," Masami grumbles. "What did she say when you talked to her?"
"Uh-uh, Macha. No way. I'll talk to both of you separately, but I'm not going to relay messages between both of you. And if you do break up, I'm not choosing between you two, either. You're my best friend, and she's my sister."
"Don't be like that. I know you agree with me, and you think she's being ridiculous."
Harriet doesn't say anything, huffing with every step.
"See? You were never a good liar." Masami stops and sits down on a rock, waiting for Harriet.
"I guess I'm wondering if you weren't at least a little touched by the fact that she wants to marry you."
"I would be, if I thought that were the case. But I couldn't help but be turned off by the size of the diamond and wondering if she bought it ethically. Sometimes I wonder if we're just too different for this to work in the long run."
Harriet takes a seat, grateful for the rest. "Have you dated anyone other than Harper?"
"I had a few flings, a few dates, but women are really, really good at ghosting." She laughs, without real mirth.
Harriet sighs, wondering if she's going to regret her next words. "Then maybe you need to learn what it's like to be with someone who truly values you. Being with Pierce made me understand what I didn't like about Lance, and what I needed from Tyrone."
"You think I should break up with Harper?"
"I have no idea, Macha. But I will say that if you do make that decision, now is not the right time. Let's get through this rough period together."
"Mm. I think a break would be good for us. She depends on me too much. And she needs to learn to expand her world, too. She still hates meeting people. But I won't talk to her about this until after we come home."
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'Cause baby, you're a fiiiiiiiirewooork
i spent the end of winter through the fourth of july being too busy to jot down anything; it whirred by and now we're in the heart of summer again. i romanticize summer so much but i guess it's one of the few things i get very excited about anymore these days so i guess i should embrace my hype rather than subdue it.
i worked 2:30-11pm on the fourth of july. i was able to take a break at about 10pm, when i went out to the balcony patio on the top floor of the hospital and watched fireworks from various different cities in the distance.
when i arrived to the patio i found jamil already there; he said if you close your eyes it sounds like you're in a war zone. the fireworks were audible but not loud, given how far away they were from us.
standing there at the hospital watching fireworks for about 10 minutes before i had to reluctantly return to work, i found myself pulled toward both ends of a glass half full vs empty analysis. at work i was busy and neutral, had been preoccupied and had forgotten, or at least not at the forefront of my mind, what i was missing out on.
half full: i was working a shift where i luckily had the freedom to take my break at that time where i could still catch the end of firework shows if i was lucky, so i felt grateful and happy when i took my break and ran to the top floor and saw fireworks still going on outside. had i been scheduled any other of the evening shifts, i wouldn't have been able to take that break time.
half empty: when i stood out there and i kept looking at my phone time to keep track of the minutes i had left before getting back to work, i couldnt help but feel disappointed that i was stuck at work afternoon and all evening on my favorite holiday. i wanted to be sitting in the cool evening air directly underneath the fireworks show, like all of those years of tradition.
i oscillated between these two feelings, but was ultimately grateful and thought it couldve been worse, i couldve not had a break at all.
in the past year ive really felt the duality of so many aspects of my life. four new friends i made moved back to their home country this past month. it's of course sad because what used to be seeing them regularly this past year has now become the reality of seeing them probably only a handful of random occasions throughout the next many years. but i also think back to the circumstances of how we met and how easily we might have not become friends, had we chosen to ignore each other instead of chat with each other. my sadness exists now only because of the good that was created from befriending them and fortuitous circumstances.
i am done with residency with no kids in the near future, so i should be embracing this time with the most freedom, yet ironically i feel busier than ever. of course, im not as busy as during residency, but now i replace this free time with the obligation to cook (like when i have a day off i feel like i should meal prep for the next week of work)/meet up with friends long overdue every time/address finances, work emails and competencies, write thank yous, respond to texts, and the endless tasks on my to do list/organize my apartment/etc. and i guess all the different obligations from all directions makes me feel busy. you make more work for yourself because you no longer have residency or school to focus on, and suddenly the other things seem pressing or like important tasks youre supposed to do. the more free time you have, the more you feel you oughta be filling that time with productive tasks.
the duality of feeling like writing my memories down in here is helping vs hurting my happiness. is writing this a waste of time in the sense that i could instead spend my precious time being productive and maybe ill be happier if i chip away at emails and organize my apartment to be closer to that long-awaited marvelous day when ill be at inbox 0 and finally have my apartment unpacked properly. so what if i never jot down any reflection; if so many other people don't journal and are perfectly content with that, maybe i should just forgo this too. how much do i really have to gain by writing in here?
i want to jot down my reflection of the past few months on my strongest paddleboarding in austin, really appreciating the time i had with amazing company in austin, the life-changing kaiseki in japan, learning that choosing giant sequoias is always the right choice, icy trails in yosemite, my conversations with locals in japan, tidepooling on a day when the clouds cleared away to become sunny, hiking amongst redwoods with a friend, upholding my tradition of jumping into the river again this year. but at the same time i feel anxiety about what if it's pointless. what if im spending my precious time on NOT doing errands and writing in here but it will actually yield a net negative impact on my happiness, because this is not productive.
nobody cares, and an important lesson i have to learn is being okay with this. it could be worse :)
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Story time!
One time when I was still relatively healthy and studying in the south of the country, I bought a nice second hand table for only ā¬2. The transaction platform (marktplaats) indicated that the seller was within a kilometer of me and the table's surface was 75x75cm, so I figured I could pick up the table myself...
Two important things were not as I anticipated. First, the distance to the seller was at least 3km but I was used to walking a lot so I didn't mind. Second, the table was not the super light material I expected of a small Ikea table. Lifting the table at the seller's address though, I figured I could handle it.
I was sort of right I guess, with a face red from exertion and sweating everywhere I made my way back home carrying the table. One of the heavy metal (š¤) legs rested on my shoulder as I held the table by the edges of its topside in front of me.
Walking along busy streets I felt my muscles getting numb a little over halfway back and figured I needed a break. Luckily there was a public bench at an intersection there, unfortunately it was right in front of a cafƩ that had a terrace full of people thanks to the great summer weather.
Of course I was a bit embarrassed sitting down on the bench, panting, setting down the table next to me on the sidewalk. But I figured none of these people knew me and we likely wouldn't ever meet again. Also, this was a student city right before the start of the semester so I probably wasn't the only person moving in without a car.
In the end no one bothered interacting with me apart from the stares, so when I recovered a bit I picked up my table and set off again. Now if you've ever pushed your muscles to the point of utter exhaustion you know pusing on from there gets harder and harder until you literally can't go on no matter how long your break is.
Several breaks and contemplation of emergency solutions later (did I have money for a taxi large enough to fit a table? no, I did not), a good samaritan offered to help. I was at the bottom of the hill I lived on at this point, so I gratefully accepted her help for the final stretch. We talked about what brought her to the Netherlands, and it was such an interesting and eye-opening conversation.
The woman was probably in her 30s, and came here from a country in Eastern Europe. From a faulty blood transfusion, she'd gotten infected with HIV but there was no compensation from the hospital or insurance and she couldn't afford treatment. Knowing the healthcare situation was different in Western Europe she came here. After arrival, she said, they started treatment pretty fast and now she lives here on disability benefits.
This was the first time I met a foreigner on Dutch benefits. Often it is a right-wing talking point that all of our problemsā¢ are caused by foreigners like her coming to the Netherlands for 'a better life'. In her home country she probably would've died from a treatable condition caused by human error. That definitively killed any xenophobia that might've still been lingering somewhere in the dark parts of my mind. As long as our problemsā¢ aren't of the same severity as theirs there is no reason to close the borders to those in need.
After the uphill walk, I thanked the woman profusely and we went our separate ways. The memory of publicly torturing myself with a table will stay with me for a long time, but I'm grateful for the experience of meeting this stranger. Today I figured I should look up the actual weight of the table, since it's still sold at Ikea, and the offending construct is a total of 15.45kg. Being as disabled as I currently am, it is now also a fond memory of my former strength.
If you read all of this, I hope you take away the lesson that healthcare shouldn't be a privilege and that you shouldn't try to move furniture across town by yourself on foot.
#I don't even know how to tag this#story time#table#embarrassing#good samaritan#hiv#aids#chronic illness#disability#disability support#healthcare#human rights#marktplaats#second hand#queue#kelsonius op
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I wanted to work from 7-4 today and meet with Cassie and Katelyn so we could choreograph some more before barre class like weāve been doing for the past month, but we didnāt. Weāre supposed to be doing a pre-Thanksgiving workout class next week, which is a little early but Cassie will be out of town the week after that, so next Thursday is the closest day that all three of us are available. There are barely any Thanksgiving songs so it wonāt be like what we did for Halloween, but the idea is to take turns doing a bunch of fast-paced dance routines from our regular classes to burn off the extra calories that happen at this time of year. I did find a song we could use called Smile by Katy Perry, though. The lyrics are āIām so thankful, scratch that, baby Iām gratefulā and itās fast enough to dance to, so I think that would be a good one since it talks about gratitude even though itās not necessarily about Thanksgiving. And I wanted to do Hey Ya by OutKast when I subbed over the summer, but I just didnāt have enough ideas for the whole thing on my own so Iād love to collaborate on a routine to that song with them. When I mentioned both of those songs to them in our group text a few days ago, they seemed into it and Katelyn said she could come at 4:30 today to start working on them. But last night Cassie said we should take a break for now because we can just do a FaceTime call to go over what songs weāre going to use and put a playlist together, so I didnāt push it. I donāt want to make them think itās not fun anymore or feel like Iām forcing them to do things. So I got up at the normal time and worked the regular hours.
When I got to the Y, I stopped at the front desk and registered for the CPR/First Aid training in a few weeks because I havenāt done mine yet. Katelyn was coming up the stairs as I was going down them, but her class wasnāt until 6:30 so I had an irrational wave of panic that maybe she and Cassie had decided to meet and work on stuff together without telling me. But of course when I got to the exercise room, Cassie wasnāt even there yet. So Katelyn was probably just working out by herself, and they didnāt have a secret meeting without me. I guess I just felt rejected and disappointed that Cassie didnāt want to meet today, and it made me feel like she didnāt like me anymore even though it had nothing to do with me and she probably just wanted to spend more time with her baby. She has no reason not to like me and they have no reason to exclude me because Iām a nice person and I havenāt done anything wrong.
I wish I wasnāt always so worried about being annoying and saying the wrong thing, but thatās what anxiety does. Maybe itās time to up the dose of my meds for the winter. When I start feeling insecure and thinking everybody hates me, thatās usually a sign that my anxiety is flaring up.
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