#i guess i had a lot on my chest
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littlemisshaleybug · 22 days ago
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Not sure how much I want to or even can add to the conversation about consuming "problematic" media, but the topic is on my mind and I just wanna get a few thoughts out.
Its important to read and understand challenging media, and even media made by people you condemn actions of. Getting rid of things because they're made by racists or sexists or sexual predators does not help in the long run and is just another form of censorship, and opening the door to censorship opens the door to dictatorship, and we all know where the global political climate is right now.
Should you give living problematic creators your money? Probably not, so bootlegging and pirating is probably your best bet, but there are a few factors I want to specify on why I dont condemn people who still enjoy those things.
First, we need to get comfortable with the fact that bad people can make good art. Horrible people can be wonderful musicians, amazing artists, moving writers. Of course sometimes their views or beliefs can bleed into their work, and in some cases it is very clearly written within the text, but sometimes they just make good stuff and it doesn't make you evil if you aren't able to pick up on their badness right away, or even at all, on your own, and it doesn't make you a bad person for still finding joy in the art that they created, because chances are you love it for reasons completely outside who made it. Maybe you read a book growing up that brought you joy in dark times, or played a game that introduced you to lifelong friendships. That still matters! It still means something! The key thing to remember is that the happiness doesnt come from the creator, but from what you made their art into for you personally.
This is leads to my next point, that because what made it special to you is your own, there shouldnt be any need to justify your actions, but more importantly you shouldnt justify the actions of the creator. As an example, getting into arguments over why you deserve to keep buying HP merch and feeding into the media monster that it has become despite not supporting JKR's radical feminist dogma completely eradicates the self awareness of understanding the enormous harm she has done to the queer and transgender community, or attempting to stand up for Vizzypop and minimize the slurry of doxxing and death threats she encouraged back in the day, as well as the hossibke working conditions of present animators, because you love the Hellaverse and absolutely need to stream it and visit her booth at conventions. Having an emotional attachment to something they made does not negate the damage people like this have done in the world, and you are only harming yourself and your own emotional maturity journey if you do deny or ignore their actions.
On that note it should not come as a surprise to you when people you love criticize or question your motives when you praise these works or attempt to encorage others to engage with them. In this day and age, especially online, you can and will lose relationships with people for supporting certain medias, and you need to be prepared for those consiquences. Personally I struggle to understand the disconnect a few of my loved ones seem to show about not one but two pieces of media made by "alleged" child predators. It makes interacting with them difficult because they adore the works so very much, and often insist I should give them a chance and that I will love them if I do. I am no moral standard by any means, I have plenty of problematic favs that would make your average keyboard warrior explode, but we all have lines we dont cross and thats mine. If I know about the crimes prior most of the time I dont want to give it any of my time or attention, and I should not have to feel like the odd one out for standing my ground and politely declining.
Im human, Im not trying to be superior or kick down someone's passions, but if someone has a very direct and valid reason to not engage with a piece of art then that should be both respected and validated. If you feel shamed or embarrassed, use that shame to take a deeper look and understand why you feel that way. Obviously dont just take insults or abuse if someone is trying to tear you down, but if you believe their points are valid and its coming from a place of honesty and willingness to communicate, I think the mature thing to do is to do some introspection on why this media means so much to you and come up with your own conclusions. Is your love for a children's show really worth losing trust in your relationship? Is it worth the relationship altogether?
Anyways, I dont know where I was exactly going with this, but I guess to summarize it I understand that to be a person in this media age you have to understand for your own sanity that the world is a multitude of gray areas and that nothing is truly black and white. Taking anything too seriously, or too casually, does have consiquences, and there is nothing that will grant you immunity from criticism, so take the extra time to think things through and decide if the thing you passively give your time and attention to is really worth it, and kill the cop in your head that condemns every rough or uncomfortable or completely unproblematic part of you. Expand your horizons, not just for your intelect, but for your soul as well, because you may surprise yourself with how complex you really are.
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grimme-and-specs · 11 months ago
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You know I had to do it to 'em too
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Bonus:
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EDIT, 2024-4-5:
If this gets to 213 notes before 4-13 I will personally redraw this earlier than planned.
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ferryfoam · 6 months ago
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He has no idea he's like a daughter to me. My middle aged male daughter
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ASIT is making me real sad and lately I have been spending every waking hour thinking about nothing but Elim Garak
I have also been reading this wonderful fic by Cucumbermoon and it is making me sadder but it's beautifully written and very good https://archiveofourown.org/works/30310065 I am very enthusiastic to read the sequel once I am finished (it is possibly correlated to the fact I am menstruating as of current but I cried multiple times while reading so. Really good!!!)
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katyspersonal · 4 months ago
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Hi there, I hope you don’t mind the random question but in your mind which fanbase would you say is worse, Elden Ring or Bloodborne in terms of annoying fans. I used to think Bloodborne fans could be bad but holy shit ER fans are something else when it comes to lore discussions. As someone who is pretty active in lore talk with both games do you find one side to be more exhausting to deal with than the other? Obviously feel free not to answer this if you think it might start drama
Honestly? I can't hate Bloodborne fandom enough.
Bloodborne was my first Fromsoft game and one keeping me hostage in terms of fixation for over three years, like I said! And yes, it has incredibly bad, toxic people in it - Maria fans who kept slandering Gehrman despite all the info against their takes, honestly believed there is anything problematic with Gehrmaria, had mental breakdown if anyone dared to see Maria as bi or straight despite her not having canon sexuality, believed that the whole story is either about man bad woman good OR was incredibly misogynist, no between. Close minded, toxic people who would deliberately bait anger and pain with placing their hate in the tags and then play victims when those hurt fans snapped back. Oh, I hate them, and revealing that Gehrman's "creepiness" and "misogyny" was completely and fully translation mistake, as well as pointing out how comes why nothing is wrong with how Doll is dressed with facts, is forever my most valid contribution to the fandom. More so than my ugly childlike fanart or convoluted theories could ever be. But, not THIS is why Bloodborne fandom is worse in my opinion.
Elden Ring fandom introduced not one but SEVERAL annoying and exhausting topics to deal with! I "affectionately" titled especially rabid Malenia and Miquella fans 'Twin Cultists' because this is exactly what their behavior is and have always been! Funny enough, a person who got mad at me for this one was someone who got alienated on Discord server for Miquella fans because owners started to insist that only their headcanons are valid AND admitted to me on feeling unsafe for not shipping Finlenia. I am dead serious! Malenia fans are strikingly similar to Maria pseudofeminist fans in toxicity, Miquella fans are like if you removed all likeable traits of Leda and replaced them with even MORE of undying vitriol for anyone who dares to interpret him as anything but perfect pure radiant sunshine. Mohg triggered a pretty awful discourse between those who insisted he was rapist molester whatever and if you interpret it differently you are insensitive and media-illiterate victimblamer and people who defended him "becoming the very thing they sworn to destroy" as well as also exhibiting cult-like thought control in their circles (they know who they are -_-).
But the DLC has changed things a bit, right? Some Twin Cultists are still spilling vitriol, except now they also claim that writers are bad, not only fans that disagree with them! Still, blessed, deserved vindication finally arrived! But what about others, whose situation never changed? Vitriol towards Godrick is ABSURD. You know how common fandoms L is that they judge and hate female character for something, but when male character did the exact same thing it is humored or justified? Godrick is this, minus the gender difference, yet everyone who points out his actual characteristics and the hypocrisy of his haters gets ridiculed. You thought that his fans would flock together to support each others? No, turns out that pocket are loosers who think people who don't headcanon him as trans are childish and ridiculous and loathe cishet Elden Ring fans in general. Fia and D are caught in the weird discourse loop where one is always simplified and idealized and another is demonized to Hell and beyond, when they both are strongly caught in religious brainwashing of sorts but also are sympathetic in their own right. Ranni's fans and haters both do not know the term of Machiavellian (aka "Ends justify the means" philosophy). She is the worst most evil character in the setting over what crimes she committed in order to protect the world from the problem of potentially anyone being able to grab the laws of nature itself and shape them according to their bigotries and preferences, OR she is a perfect innocent fighter against oppression and people who dislike her Just Hate Women TM. And of course we cannot forget the one above them all! The radiant, omnipresent, eternal!...
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Marika truly brings out the worst of discussions! She has been before SOTE, but you YEARN for pre-SOTE times if you hate OR love her! Not because things changed, but because now discussion can't be avoided. She is THE Elden Ring character who is only ever demonized and idealized. Before SOTE, she was only ever just a tyrant who loves genocide OR simply a puppet of Greater Will (or rather Two Fingers claiming to speak for it as it turned out) who never meant to do that shit and finally heroically rebelled. After SOTE... hahaha, oh boy... we started to deal with the issue of excusing genocide. Her fans will claim into essays and more essays why Hornsent are all fundamentally dangerous race and Marika is merely trying to rid the world of filth that ruins it by sending Messmer. However, demonization didn't quite go away either, and her haters are so angry at writers humanizing her a bit more that they say WRITERS are pro-fascist!
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So, why? I've described such horrid discourse, when Bloodborne fandom sounds like it simply has a few bad apples in comparison! What can be worse than Elden Ring fandom, after a description like this? Yeah, you see... Elden Ring fandom is thorn by awful arguments and discourse, it is hostile and dangerous for your mental health if you are invested into fandom beyond just "consuming content" and advertising your art for sale. Yet, it lives. It lives in the same sense as a land torn by earthquakes lives. It lives in the same sense a volcano that won't stop smoking lives. It lives in the same sense sea lives during the storm. But it LIVES.
Bloodborne fandom is a fucking Caelid.
If you question whether I'd be scared of "drama", I assume you are new here and don't know my epic lore. I am not afraid of anything because society made itself clear on what I am for it. In the most condenced way possible, one OF those toxic Maria fans didn't like me thinking for myself too much so they went out of their way to slander me for various -ists and -phobias. Their ableist friend that doesn't take racism seriously joined in. I was a victim of stalking, harassment, slander, witch-hunting and cult-like shunning for over a year, and so was every kind fool who treated me like a human - friend or mutual. I can NOT speak of Bloodborne fandom experience from personal standpoint because obviously it is not an objective experience (though someone who also got unfairly slandered by Maria fans too contacted me, so I question whether it IS a trend..?). Still, it isn't about me or my friends, we are an oddity. Bloodborne fandom for me was just a bunch of gullible, weak sheep who are okay with witch-hunt because letting just a few people get harassed is not worth souring their fandom experience. And I do not wish to turn back or even try to mend anything. I caught my stalker and exposed their crimes, I made everyone who believed they were innocent feel stupid and ashamed, it was all I wanted. I don't wish to "befriend" the fandom afterwards.
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YEAH YEAH "THINGS ONCE BROKEN" WHATEVER
But I was still posting and drawing and playing and talking and writing, right? I was still present. So, I was at least observing what was going on. And what truly soured Bloodborne fandom was actually happening afterwards, what was not involving me or any friend or enemy I knew. The worst thing happened, worse for fandom than any amount of discourse. I call it "centralization", for lack of better term.
Bloodborne is a niche fandom, yet it had a sudden zoomers burst. And that led to dynamics of "fandom leaders", and stupid fucking Discord community that are akin to elite club in which if you are not invited you might as well not exist. It ALL became about stupid "web of mutuals" nonsense. It ALL became about some cool kids deciding what will be the ship or the take of the week/month, and soon you'd see NOTHING but this thing posted. Always through the exact same lense, too. Only to then be forgotten, because it was just a trend. Rom x Caryll comes to mind as a FAD of similar vibe. Micolaurence too.
I just hate this. The fandom stopped LIVING. I saw genuinely absurd things happen! Like someone drawing Mariadeline, one of the most popular ships in the fandom, yet they get completely ignored because they've failed to grab a beer at the bar with "leaders" of this ship who "hold" the distribution of that approval and love. Even worse; over a year ago, a very talented, fun, energetic and creative fan of Mensis Trio and Byrgenwerth squad showed up! They were SPAMMING art and writing, and all of that was good! So good that..... all of that barely got over 20 notes, maybe 30. Why? Because, again, you can't just post about blorbos and expect to be liked and approached. You have to get on the "good side" of "holders" of love for characters like Micolash, Laurence and Rom, or else they'll just side-eye you! But imagine this with literally everything else. I have been watching it happen all the time, to people that were not even targets for cult-like shunning by Alfred, Eugene or Anna for associating with me. You keep to yourself, you are shy, you are not on Discord with them, your headcanons are a bit different? Too bad, you may rot, because it is not about you! People look up to a few popular artists with shallow takes and so much creative liberties they might as well make OCs to know whether this or that person should be liked and reblogged, instead of JUST liking and reblogging them!
THIS is why Bloodborne fandom is Caelid. Not for toxicity, but because it is rotten. It used to be far less "organized" when I joined in. There were no trends to define fandomry for next few weeks decided on a party where ignored creators were not invited to. There was not hegemony of certain ships, designs and headcanons. There was no "web of mutuals" and pressure to either assert yourself by the good side or vanish. Everyone were doing their things and coexisting, nobody could determine who flourishes and who rots, diversity of headcanons and interpretations were celebrated. Oh, what's a matter? You really dislike that popular artist who infantilizes Marika and stripes her out of any agency over her actions? Well, so do like 500000 other people! Every popular take is ALSO popular to hate on in Elden Ring fandom! But if you dislike a popular take in Bloodborne then sucks to be you, because diversity of interpretations, opinions, preferences and takes just doesn't exist in it. Not anymore. Unless you "asserted" your novel idea to the "court" on some stupid Discord server and was "approved", of course.
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Look. Elden Ring discourse annoys me to no end. I always get my headcanons and interpretations "corrected" in the worst condescending fashion. My friend posted a very well made lore post and got harped on because his take contradicted someone's idol's headcanons (with that idol approving of that harping) and I am still mad. I don't want to post my GEQ takes to be reminded that "aktualy" she is Melina. I dislike seeing claims of Miquella's nonexistent character assassination or Radahn hated just because some sexist Redditors were using him as a mascot. Nonetheless, deep down, I am THANKFUL. Because even really annoying debates end up being entertaining. Because people here TALK about things, REVISIT things, ARGUE about things, CARE about things, HAVE OPINIONS on things. They will annoy you in the comments or reblogs, but they SPEAK to you. No take is so popular that it defines all art and fanfics because every popular take is also popular to hate on. Things are disorganized. No fandom leaders, no elite club ignored blog wasn't invited to, no "web of mutuals" that should get sucked into a vacuum cleaner and never be seen again. Elden Ring fandom is a battlefield, but also free market minus the money.
To be honest, Bloodborne fandom was done for me when based people started to vanish. Fishbowlcarnage deactivated everywhere, Cuddlefish mysteriously disappeared and I worry whether they are even alive to this day, user Molluscock got bullied away... It felt like a bad omen, it happened before my drama, and I've never seen users like this before. Except I have been, but they all are now ignored because of this stupid high school dynamic taking over. Had Elden Ring hyperfixation not happened, I'd probably just end up blocking many Bloodborne accounts and never care for trying to make connections again, just post art and vanish to draw the next one. I did end up blocking some Bloodborne mutuals, after all. After it hit me, what was bothering me so much. Appreciate Elden Ring fandom and it's earthquakes, because shaking earth can't be bigger evil than stagnation. Bloodborne fandom no longer breathes, they are champions of not feeding the sparkles that were meant to become fire hoping they die down, and I hate every looser that benefits from that "system". In Elden Ring, ALL things flourish, whether graceful or malign.
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so-much-for-subtlety · 4 months ago
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tomorrow officially starts my 15th year in the “United” States. I’m gonna make a cake. Not to celebrate- I was just gonna make one anyway🥕
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kaidanalenkosprmanager · 3 months ago
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Sophie Shepard & Kaidan Alenko (ME3) 1/?
MIRA'S MORE CANON ME3 "You're real enough for me." AKA: The tango. :) Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#kaidan alenko#shenko#mass effect#mass effect 3#mass effect legendary edition#me3#dailygaming#otp: you're real enough for me#morecanonmasseffect#GUESS WHO FINALLY WEIGHT PAINTED SOPH'S HEAD FOR LE3 :)#you remember when my annoying ass said i wasn't touching her tattoos again? :) i lied :) i touched her tattoos again :)#we had to start off strong with the most quality LE3 mesh swap you can do: putting her and kaidan in the tango together#did i UV remap kaidan's outfit to give him his canon tattoos? you're goddamn right. and he's wearing his bracelet soph gave him too :)#technically soph's bracelet from dom that she gives to him :) but technicalities#and i finally fixed up all of soph's body tattoos for FINAL this time :) the fun one that's my favorite is the lil snake on her left wrist#she got it for zaeed but she will never admit it to his face :)#and all her body scars i worked on too! that was something else i had fun with on her back and her arms and parts of her chest#some of the chest ones are harder to see in this outfit but they're all from mindoir akuze and the reaper war :)#there's a lot of little things in here i had a lot of fun with from canon but the bracelet and the tattoos are probably my favorite things#they are indeed also wearing matching outfits (it was her idea. they also wear matching armor on the battlefield)#fun tidbit fact: in canon she drops shepard after TRW and goes by oliveira-alenko :) thanks for coming to my canon TEDtalk#i think this is my favorite set i've ever made for obvious reasons but this is probably as close to canon as i've ever gotten with gifs#they both just occupy a lot of space in my brain#happy n7 day friend! <3 have a good rest of your day! <3
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purgatorygrl · 6 months ago
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Arthur had to face the reality of his mortality. With each passing day he knew that his life was coming to an end, with no possibility of a better tomorrow.
The dreams and plans he once had became impossible knowing that he would not be able to experience a future. The fact of not being able to think about anything but the present, without the possibility of planning for tomorrow, is something that surely filled him with deep loneliness and terror.
The uncertainty of whether he would wake up the next day or not, and having to live with the constant pain, both physical and emotional, is an unimaginable pain.
The fear of the unknown, of what would come after death, is something he probably struggled with in his final days, in addition to the sadness of the emotional weight of knowing that his death would affect those he loved, leaving a void and causing pain
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dogboytits · 4 months ago
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i know its been said before but it truly is absolutely fucking crazy to me that saying that the genocide in palestine is bad is like.. a radical and controversial take. i cannot believe that more usamericans arent fucking furious that their tax money is being spent on committing genocide. why does no one give a shit. i feel like im losing it for real
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weezerlvr228 · 6 months ago
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they look half dead ☹️
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#matt sharp#i rlly like rivers’ hair in this one! it’s epicness#i liked his hair in the 90s with his bowl cut.#bowl cuts are cool#and he looked great w it !#anyways yesterday was my boyfriend’s birthday party; and i got him some chaos emeralds from sonic that he’s been wanting like ; forever!#it was fun for the most part; but nobody told me we would be swimming plus i was the only girl there sooo i was just sitting around while#everybody swam and stuff. and my friend hayden i guess felt bad so he stayed out of the pool despite having swimwear and just played mobile#games with me; which was fun and i really appreciated but this guy ; who will remain nameless was being rlly mean to me at the party#like he was saying stuff abt how my boyfriend didn’t really like me THAT much (we have been together for nearly a year…)#and other things like that; which made me rlly sad and i kept asking my mom to pick me up but she wasn’t answering so i couldn’t do anything#besides trying not to cry and stuff. but it’s okay#and after everybody went inside besides me and my boyfriend ; we were cleaning up the table since the guys left all their trash and i had#like a whole pile of trash; like tons of plates and a whole stack of trash still; the guy from earlier who was mean just like#put his trash on top of the trash i was already carrying inside#since the guys were all crowded around the trash cans (he was closest; but he couldn’t throw it away; rather he wanted to deliberately just#put it on the pile i was carrying ) and it wouldn’t be a big deal if he wasn’t mean earlier; i wouldn’t have cared so much#but he was being real mean and just did that. and i’m a passive person ; but i rolled my eyes a ton at it and idk it felt like the#other guys were laughing; which made me feel even more awful about the fact but yeah so i rolled my eyes tons and he told my bf that he was#sorry about it; but didn’t say it to me and stuff and idk it just made me feel bad#when i was younger i got bullied a lot and people would throw their trash on my lunch tray n it just reminded me of that and made me sad;#but it’s okay now! other than that i had a good time and it was fun! my boyfriend said he loved my gift to him so ya! :D it was fun other#than the stuff with the guy! but yeah. not rlly weezer related tags today; just really wanted to get that off my chest#my boyfriends mom asked if i felt left out; which i definetly did and really wanted to go home but ik i couldn’t so i was just sitting at a#table alone for abt 20 mins while everybody was changingninitially#but it’s okay! ty for listening to my rant i love u all
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creaturefeaster · 2 years ago
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he likes to move his hands i guess
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king-spite · 4 months ago
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#tw vent i guess??#came here just to post smth that i'm most probably gonna delete later then leave#but aughhhh last week has been SO bad i really really needed to get it off my chest#had the final boss of a sick victorian child episode for like two weeks AND tons of college stuff to do-#-AND a test on a subject that i'm horrible at (and that i'm gonna fail fs)#AND i was supposed to get a septum which is something that i'd been looking forward to for literal YEARS#but upon telling my parents about it (cause they're kinda strict and ig they would like to know) i changed my mind#cause my mom took it SO personally.... like it was HER face not mine?🤨 but hey!#and although i had the decency to at the very least let her know that i was getting a piercing (which wasn't necessary for me to do but-#-i did it anyway out of consideration for her)#she has the fucking SPINE to tell me how i could do whatever the fuck i wanted if i cared more about getting it than about her opinion-#-but she would always think it was disgusting and that i had no right to get angry at her if she didn't look me in the face or#wanted to walk or be with me cause it'd make her embarrassed to be with me in public if i had that shit on my face.#and it hurts a lot not just bc of the fuckass piercing. but bc my parents (esp my mom) always react like this whenever i make a little-#-change on my appearanceor cut my hair or buy oversized clothes or whateverand like#if she's gonna be soooo hurt when i get a tiny piece of metal on my face. how is she gonna react when i tell her i want to get tattoos.#start taking hormones. change my name. get top and bottom surgery. be completely changed physically.#is she gonna die is the world gonna end. is she just going to stop talking to me forever.#because a piercing is not just a decoration. to me right now it's an extension of the changes i want to undergo on my body.#it's a step forward to looking the way i want too look#so a rejection to any change i do on my body feels like an indirect rejection to be being trans. and the fact that they're unaware of#just how deep their rejection cuts (bc i'm not out) makes me even angrier at them.#and upon the realization that if i ever came out to my mom (and the rest of my family too tbh) she would react *exactly* like this.#well. i did not take that very well.#wasn't very demure of her to say all that. not very mindful not very cutesy :/#also been sh-ing more bc if this and ughhh what a shit week. hope this one's better#also. i decided i'm still gonna get a septum this year. don't know when but fuck all that. it's gonna bother them all the same#no matter what time of the year i get it done. or if i do it in a year or two or five. so who gives a shit.#anyway. gonna delete later probably#📎
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le-fruit-de-la-passion · 2 months ago
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Yes, new header is me lovingly kissing Viktor, next question
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lokh · 2 months ago
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Not anxiety? I had chest pain for months, no heart problem but high up over my heart, couldn't stop worrying about making it go away by trying to not worry so it stuck around for longer.
honestly the idea that it's anxiety pisses me off a lot, not the least bit because my anxiety is not nearly so bad as it used to be so why would the chest pain happen now
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galacticstarjump · 11 months ago
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Got my ass handed to me in ranked zero builds so
I think it’s time to finally write my Madoka magica movie four theory thoughts
MxSquibby's Walpurgisnacht Rising theory thoughts
(Thoughts are based off my knowledge of the franchise so I could be missing vital info)
I think the big premise for this movie is showing off Walpurgisnacht’s lore or some info about her. and like usual she is going to disrupt Homura’s wish. Or In this case her world and probably force homura to make a choice.
by the logic of Homura’s wish.
Three peoples karmic destiny should have been cranked up to a billion since the timelines always converged the most around 3 people.
Madoka(who the wish was for) and her amount karmic destiny is why she was able to make the ultimate wish and become the law of cycles for magical girl kind.
Homura (who made the wish) increased her own amount of karmic destiny which is why she was able to split apart Madoka (and take her memories?) and rewrite the universe to her liking which essentially just what she did in her labyrinth, but with more production value and can change the entire universe and not limited within the confines of her labyrinth and witch magic.
I’m guessing Homura’s got Madoka in what I like to call “The Good Place Season 2”
Which light spoilers for that show ahead but
One of the main characters, Michael, traps Eleanor and the other humans within a time loop. Erasing their memories every time Eleanor figures out what Michael is doing to them. Repeating this over and over. Over 800(0?) times, with each time him slightly tweaking and changing things to try and get a different outcome of her not figuring it out.
I think this what Homura’s doing to an extent. We saw at the end of rebellion, how fragile Homura’s hold on Madoka’s memories was. However all homura really has to do is ground Madoka back down to homura’s rewritten reality and since a part of Madoka does want to stay on earth and live a normal life this helps her forget easily of her god hood. However this very fact is what will always make her remember in the end. If madoka truly starts to enjoy her life on earth, She knows deep in her SOUL that she sacrificed her normal human life for a cosmic duty of Saving magical girls so anytime she thinks to hard about it or just kind of realizes she should only being viewing the lives of normal people not interacting with them she will start to remember and become magical girl god again but homura will just grab her again and reset her memories and then rewrite the timeline. Starting once again… essentially... ANOTHER TIME LOOP. Homura’s favorite thing 😂😭
And I’m guessing Homura’s got to do this a lot. Like hundreds of times. And if sayakas around during one these moments she sure as hell is also going to remember homura being a “devil” so homura will have no choice but to rewrite the timeline again and again. With each time she’s most likely going to make slight changes to the world in attempt to make Madoka not remember. I think it’s why she remembers so easily at first. It was waaaay to similar to the thousands of timelines her and homura lived through (ultimate Madoka is aware of all the timeloops homura and her went through so following that similar time loop structure will probably make her remember faster so Homura is going to start changing things. Which is whyyy we see the girls in different costumes at one point in the trailer. (I think this is why in that old ass concept trailer we saw Madoka being a ballerina, one to resemble Madoka just being part of Homura’s elaborate play now but to show her trying normal human things. Homura's going to help her find her human dreams. Maybe madoka wanted to be a dancer. Then after that fails Homura probaby thinks if she can find a perfect scenario where Madoka find some sense of self on earth maybe she will stop remembering her godhood. Maybe Homura can finally live a full human life with her and watch her grow. Maybe Madoka being a dancer, a painter, a musician, a celebrity. Something right? Will stop Madoka from reaching her magical girl potential. Homura’s so obsessed with giving Madoka the life she shouldn’t have had to sacrifice. So she will try over and over to make her happy. To find the one scenario...timeline if you will, where Madoka will be truly happy within her rewritten world.
Which will be a fun way to show the girls in different scenarios that we usually wouldn’t see them in. So like cool new costumes!!! Like cool bandage sayaka is just one of Homura’s AU’s or a by product of one of the new timelines she has rewritten. And sayaka is probably going to have a bigger part. Idk why I just feeeel it. She has special secretary powers. I believe in her. We saw all that special treatment they gave her in S2E1 of the anime timeline of magia record. Bitches love Sayaka. And like Bebe also has secretary powers I guess lol. But she just wants to hangout with mami and eat cheeeeeeese (yoooo plagg and bebe would be besties)
but This movie is just explaining the 3rd girl who’s karmic destiny was increased by this wish and then background info cause we know like nothing about her…
Walpurgisnacht (the reason homura HAD to repeat timelines)
Walpy (for short) is going to put an end to this loop homura and Madoka are trapped in. Or at least change or add to it.
what is concerning is that Walpy’s karmic destiny was already extremely high to begin with for her to end up looking like that. So logically she should be stronger than devil homura, and the only reason she isn’t stronger than ultimate Madoka is because of the wish of Ultimate Madoka made to erase witches. But since madoka’s slightly nerfed at the moment trapped in Homura’s rewritten reality, no one’s actively checking on the law of cycles. Sure girls don’t turn into witches but without Madoka actively monitoring the cycle this might have given some version of Walpy enough time or power to form or to come back and interfere. So I’m guessing homura might have to choose between keeping her time loop safe (and live her fantasy life with madoka) or let Madoka out so she can defeat Walpurgisnacht from destroying the universe homura has tried gone so far to get control of…. Cause homura, at least historically can not beat Walpy lol. So i'm guessing Walpy will always come back to cause universal destruction unless madoka is back. So will Homura be able to let go of her love for sake of the universe? a choice between keeping her love down on earth with her or letting her go and accepting that she’s nothing more than a universal concept. But like Homura’s crafty. She could weasel her way out of this
I will say a crack in this theory is from my own understanding that Walpy is made up of many magical girls? So either we are dealing with many girls coming in or some fusion magical girl perhaps? Or I guess just one of the girls from Walpy would do right? Perhaps the first girl? Though we don’t know if this was an individual wish, and then she absorbed other magical girls/witches or like a group wish? Kind of like the hospital trio. Like you can do a group wishes I suppose.
ALSO another addition to my thoughts. Homura isn’t the Antagonist. Should state that. Kyubey is. And like i haven’t even talked about this fucker yet. (Well in terms of the franchise as a whole, guessing for movie 4 Walpy is our more traditinal antagonist (She also probably takes the form of homura at first to fuck with her, Why we see two homura's in the Movie Poster but thats just a theory lol) but He? little rat noy. Within Homura’s new world order. He’s Most likely just collecting all despair and probably just collecting and suffering with the weight of all negative human emotions and curses within a labyrinth. Like. She probably just making him and the hive mind know what it’s life to feel emotions, specifically all those negative ones you’ve been putting magical girls through for hundreds of years. But like he could be up to some fuck shit. He technically is like a robot made by an alien race, right? So like they could finally pull up on us or something and be like “what have you done to my robo rat sons, you fucks”
But anyway I’m rambling a bit now but homura isn't the antagonist because she pulls Madoka from the law of cycles for a multitude of reasons, she states it’s for her love for Madoka. Which yes that is true but homura also understands Madoka should have never had to make this wish. The flower field scene conversation in rebellion is what makes homura realize this. Madoka is a normal girl, she just never got the time to figure herself out or to figure out normal human dreams. She was a young naive girl, where in many timelines used her wish to save a cat or make a cake. Because at first glance being a magical girl is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you don’t pass up. So she never got a shot at a real life when she should have. Madoka never wanted to leave behind her friends and family. She loves them. Like the girl don’t got much That’s like one of her core traits, she loves her friends, is a great daughter, and a great big sister, love cute things, is pink like 😭😭 But Madoka was just another cog in the magical girl machine but because of Homura’s wish it gave a Madoka a chance to look at the whole machine and see what the fuck has been going on. So Madoka, with no real dreams or goals, but is given the opportunity and explicitly told by the evil rat himself that she could make literally ANY wish. So when she sees everything and realizes she has the unique opportunity to save all magical girl kind from their souls being tortured for all eternity until murdered by another magical girl well no shit she HAS to make this wish. She doesn’t have any other choice in her eyes. To badly paraphrase Kyoko. "Something something if you have a loving family and good food on the table why on earth would you sacrifice that to be a magical girl? but who knows maybe one day you’ll be backed into a corner and you’ll HAVE to make a wish. If that day comes something something I guess i can approve of you being a magical lass"
So like. Is it fair? Ya know. All this is Kyubey and some alien race’s fault. Why should these girls have to suffer because of him. Who cares about the heat death of the universe. Let it burn, because if torturing magical girls is the only way of keeping it alive then fuck the universe. Like Madoka shouldn’t have to sacrifice her human life to save all these girls from suffering because they shouldn’t be suffering. They shouldn’t be turning into witches. Like 😭 and homura doesn’t think it’s fair that Madoka should be the one to make this sacrifice to save magical girls because Madoka wouldn’t have even been able to make the ultimate wish if not for homura’s wish but like also homura shouldn’t have been turned into a magical girl herself like it’s all fucked and idk what the end would even look like?
So Like a happy ending would be getting revenge on the RAT kyubey… and like idk. I don’t think that’s happening. Like if you want a happy ending for these girls I believe it falls within our little anomaly timeline. Which I like to believe the magia record game timeline is held within a phone. (Cause get it, it’s like a gacha game we play on our phones lol.) and when Madoka touched the anomaly timeline at the end of arc 1? Now the record phone screen is cracked 🫨🫨
I don’t think we’ll get a horrific or completely tragic ending but it will probably be bittersweet or mixed emotions. (Would LOVE TO BE WRONG, GIMMIE HAPPY) But also we won’t see the end end to this franchise for a hot minute lol. Like I’m pretty sure this is technically be advertised as the 4th movie. Though more like the second movie but I guess the movie versions of the anime do count I guess. Idk. The first two movies are fine, best part is just some updated animation and new yuki Kajiura tracks… but yeah i don’t think it’s the final movie.
Now what like actually happens? Fuck if I know. I’m still half expecting mayabu to find infinite iroha and make her pop in to save everyone cause idk. Is homura realllllly gonna let Madoka go. Ya know? Like she’ll probably try to control Walpy or fight her for a hot minute before even considering of letting Madoka go again.
And ALSO.
Okay I feel like I covered all my brain theories about the movie... for now… Idk if I explored or finished every thought. I know I be yapping. And I have adhd so And I can YAP about Madoka and then immediately forget where exactly I was at in my Madoka thoughts.
Imagine how more I could yap if I read the wraith arc. (It’s truly laughable how I’ve read all of arc 1 and the other story with it, most of arc 2 (I skimmed early bits so I could catch up faster, then end of arc 2 was happening and I wanted to be a cool kid and read it asap) quite a few events, and the early chapters of scene 0 (now behind lol) BUT NOT the wraith arc. And I know I could pull it up so easily lol. Hell I read the event where ui went back in time to see fart but not the wraith arc I- I read Christmas strings but i wont take my lazy butt to read manga of my fave series within like kind of main timeline. Like i know i dont need to read but I need to read it. cause having a better understanding of Ultimate Madoka's universe and how wraiths work would be cool. and maybe one of these days ill read another story but idk... Think id rather read tart or Oriko first lol
but yeah i've got to stop myself of this post will never end. I'll prpbably re-read it tomorrow and add edits lol
ALSO one last thought this is a theory I could be Super fucking wrong about everything. Like maybe sayaka looking like that cause of her secretary powers and not homura's universe rewriting at play? like there's so much i don't know haha
and again my theory could fall apart with like new info i didn't know about. there's a lot of content madoka content out there ya know
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insanechayne · 3 months ago
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#today I am sad about something that I know objectively is dumb#my 30th birthday is next week and the party will be next Saturday and I’m having a dinner at a nice restaurant in town#I wasn’t supposed to make it to 30 and never thought I would but now somehow I have and so this birthday is like…#a really huge deal to me you know#and I always wanted to be able to have a big party to celebrate this specific occasion and in my head I pictured all my friends/family there#I figured this would be one of the biggest parties I’d ever get to throw because to me this is the biggest milestone I’ve gotten to so far#but out of all the people I’ve invited the most that will probably reasonably show is about 10#and even that’s a bit iffy because tbh I’m pretty sure my bestie will flake on me like he always does#and if he doesn’t show up that might just end the friendship but that’s another matter entirely#also iffy because I haven’t gotten a lot of responses still even though I made the event and sent invites two weeks ago#I just… thought I had more friends than that if that makes sense#like I had bigger parties with more people attending in high school and I barely had any friends then#I’ve thrown low key Halloween parties in my mom’s apartment that had more people show up#now I’m at the most important moment of my life (so far) and I’ll barely have anyone with me#lately it just feels like less and less people care about me for real despite how many I know around work or how many are on my Facebook#it feels like my world keeps shrinking and I really don’t want that because it’s been small enough as it is#I just feel like I’m never really going to find my place or have big groups of friends like everyone else#I’m never going to have a group of friends or people I can rely on to spend time with me when needed#as it is planning things gets harder the older we get anyway just due to needing to tend to adult life#guess I still just want what everyone else has and I don’t know why I can’t have those things#and I know it’s stupid and selfish and whiny but I really want to cry because I’m so depressed that I have barely anyone in my life at all#barely anyone to celebrate something so important to me and so few who even seem to care at all either#I’m grateful for everyone I do have honestly#but that doesn’t offset this weird pain in my chest over this whole situation#maybe I should just curl up and cry until this all passes and I can go back to pretending it doesn’t matter#personal
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roamingbogwoman · 8 months ago
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Nevermind I'm mourning her still. When will the way I feel about her make sense or give some closure. She genuinely haunts me, I'm still so allured and achey after all this time and hurt. I guess I'm glad she decided to randomly cut things off because I thought I could swallow the feelings that were swelling, but now they're swollen and oozing. If things continued, I would've realized way too late that I can't feel a normal way about her because I will always love her. I'll forever want her because she will never let me have her.
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