#i guess couples say it at times maybe but my mom for example says she doesnt like it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stevenbasic · 2 years ago

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GITJ Post 319: Lunch with Abby

“So one of my girls, Lakshmi, tells me he’s all upset that I didn’t let him help me move,” said Melissa Monroe, Office Manager at what would soon no longer be a specialty geriatric medical practice on the city’s outskirts. She sounded a little frustrated. “You know I couldn’t, right? For, like, obvious reasons?”

“Yeah,” laughed Abby, her friend of several years and the sales rep/handler assigned to this project which - to an increasing number of people - was maybe becoming a little far-reaching, “Are they still mad about that? Your, uh…” Though increasingly bold these days, Abby still had to be a little concerned about prying ears. “…landlords?”

“Yeah sorta. My mom is too,” answered Melissa, spearing an artichoke heart from her plate of salad, “But she’s away for a while. I’ll deal with her when she gets back.” The two women were sharing lunch at a local restaurant that Thursday afternoon, and Melissa was glad she had Abby to talk to. Things had been a little funny with him these past couple of days, and it’d be nice to have a fresh perspective. Abby was a few years older, in her early thirties though she still looked so pretty, and Melissa had come to value her wisdom. Abby just seemed to…get her. Plus - she dressed so nice, so professional! Melissa always tooked to her as an example of how even a girl with a figure can dress for the corporate world. Abby was great.

Knowing this about her ‘friend’, how Melissa respected her, made it a bit harder for Abby to say what she’d needed to say, and sometimes do what she needed to do. Melissa was a sweet girl, but she’d developed a little bit of a rebellious streak, and not everyone was happy with the way things were starting to proceed. Abby had, through this whole assignment, been tasked with keeping the course straight, the waters calm. “I also don’t know if it was a good idea,” she offered, choosing her words carefully, “You had everything you needed at your old place.”

“Yeah, I guess, I know. They’ve been so nice,” Melissa agreed, allowing that fact to her friend and doing her best to sound grateful, “I just wanted to be somewhere, even just for this little while, where I felt like I wasn’t being watched all the time.”

“I get that,” Abby conceded, forking a morsel of tortellini from her own plate. She understood it must be hard to be a girl in Melissa’s unique situation. But she also knew how they needed to keeps tabs on her, and him. “And it’ll be, what, a month or so before your mom gets back?”

“So I hear,” Melissa replied, “and by then the new places should be ready for us, if, like, all the construction keeps on schedule.” She bit her lower lip, took a moment as a waitress came by to refill her water glass. “But in the meantime it’s just that, well, when I want to be alone with him, I wanna be alone with him.”

After the waitress had left, Abby Solowicki smiled at her charge, knowing she needed to appear warm and supportive, “You really love him don’t you?” she asked. Of course she’d seen the reports, the EEGs, the bloodwork. There were quantifiers attributable to all this, and Melissa’s readings was off the charts.

“Omigod you have no idea,” gushed Melissa, immediately, a throb of wetness causing her to clamp her thighs tight, “I can’t…I can’t even describe it.”

This is what they hadn’t planned for, Abby surmised, watching the wave of emotions light Melissa’s face. She’s getting so caught up in this, much more than they thought she would. “I’m so happy for you guys,” she offered, smiling genially but knowing the answer to her next question before she asked it, “And he’s told you he feels the same way?”

Ugh, no. But the idea of it, imagining his quivering face looking up at her and professing his love made Melissa squirm again. “No…he hasn’t,” she breathed in exasperation, but able to actually hear his stammering little voice speaking those words: ILY. She wanted that so bad!! But…but…she understood, what he’s been going through. “I’ve had guys tell me a lot of things,” she said to Abby, in explanation, “and I want him to…like…mean it, when he finally says it.”

Abby nodded.

Despite logic, despite the fact that it all made sense, him taking it slow, Melissa Monroe felt her blood start to simmer. She’d told him she loved him…why didn’t he feel the same?! Was there something wrong with her?!? Her friends were supportive, telling her that she was imagining it, his reticence and distance, but she’d definitely felt it this week. Had she gone a bit too far? Over the weekend, on Tuesday night? Been too much for him? Too aggressive? She knew he was fragile…

To Abby, to her friend, Melissa described her nights with him. How she’d manipulated him with her body, and with what she knew to be his weaknesses. She described her shows of physical strength. And then: “I was there, in his bed with him yesterday morning, and I just, y’know, with my perfumes. I pretended I was asleep but I made him do…whatever I wanted. It just feels so good to play with him! But now maybe I feel a bit bad.”

“It’s okay. You’re just experimenting with your power,” Abby reassured her, knowing the course she had to take, “You’re growing, you’re growing stronger every day. It’s all so you can be better for him.”

Melissa nodded, taking a sip of her water and feeling acutely the weight of her chest, the musculature in her arms, back, shoulders. She could sense the ever-filling ocean of ultra-potent pheromones just barely held back by the floodgates under her skin, along with the hint of other budding abilities. She was becoming more powerful every day, and she knew it was true, she could feel it was true…it was all for him. The thought brought her a new wave of wetness, and she nearly sighed.

“Listen, Tits,” Abby began again, using the playful nickname she’d adopted for Melissa, “Men are all nervous, they have been for a while, but especially now after the election. They’ve been in denial but lots of them have seen it coming.” Abby, herself, had to control her voice and the excitement in it. “Imagine how he must feel, now. All that he’s lost, how he’s…like you said…getting smaller. He’s been surrounded by women all his life, and you’re surrounding him with even more, women who are bigger and stronger and smarter. Like all of them he’s worried about losing his rights, his independence. Don’t you think he’s nervous? That he’s scared? Maybe he sees his life slipping away and doesn’t know what the future is going to be.”

Oh godddddd, Melissa groaned, privately. Why was this so thrilling to her??

“So this is my advice,” Abby spoke, smiling seeing the effect she was having, “show him that you can be a comfort, that you can be protection for him now that things are changing. Did you watch the camera feed from his apartment last night, with him and that girl…what’s her name? Lilly?”

“Lakshmi,” Melissa answered, in correction, “No. I figured it was, like, a private moment for them.”

“Well I read the transcript, quick,” Abby explained, “He’s looking for it - comfort and protection. You’ve seen some of the notes on him, right? The history? He really wants a mother figure. And, jesus, Melissa…look at you.”

To that, Melissa blushed. It’s not that it was a surprise, the more…maternal aspects of her appearance being pointed out. She’d been called “mommy” by online admirers more times than she could count.

“I’d say soften up on him, calm his anxieties like only a woman can. It will get you what you want. If he’s scared, afraid that things are changing? Use that. He likes your boobs as much as you say? Great. You guys are supposed to be going out this weekend? Don't go out, stay in. Give him a night with your breasts.”

Melissa snorted. But then pictured it, how she could steer the evening, what she could wear. Omigod I could make him melt. “Like, a date with my boobs?”

“Haha sure a boob date,” Abby laughed, “that’s, like, every man’s dream, these days. He’s been nervous about you being strong with him, when you get excited? Show him how gentle you can be. You already take care of him in so many ways. Show him just how much of a mother figure you already are, and what things could be like.”

Melissa giggled, again, with the thought of it. She pictured herself in an apron, pumps and a beehive, pulling a tray of cookies from the oven. He was sat at the table like a little boy, a glass of milk - strike that, a bottle of milk - on his…haha omigod…high chair.

“You know what I’m talking about, right?” Abby asked.

“Sure, yes, right,” Melissa answered, biting her lower lip in the arousal she was already feeling. Was it getting hot in here haha? “Lakshmi says he’s feeling a little ignored. I didn’t want that. I had just wanted to give him some space, let him process things, not freak him out by being too…me,” she continued, “but maybe…”

“I think what he wants is for you to be the most ‘you’ you can be,” Abby pressed, seeing how she could salvage this situation, “He doesn’t want to be ignored? You have a lot of love for him? Smother him with it. Drown him in comfort. Show him he’ll never be ignored again.”

“Oh wow, Abby,” Melissa breathed, fanning herself with her napkin, “I could drown him so good…”

“Yes you could,” Abby encouraged.

”And he likes me big, he wants me bigger, I can tell,” Melissa added, “And now…I want to do it for him. Grow. Grow more.”

“You know what they’re saying in the labs, right? About you?” Abby spoke, leaning in and dropping her voice, “You have the potential to grow much, much bigger.” This was starting to work out really, really well.

“Yes oh god yes Abby,” Melissa replied, caught up in the plans, “He’s nervous, about the changes? I can show him that he needs protection. I can show him how nice it could be for him with women in charge.”

“You’re so sweet and caring…”

“I can be sweet and caring. I can be kind, gentle, considerate…”

“Yes,” Abby continued, “You’ve already proven you’re big. You’ve proven you can physically dominate him so easily. But looking after him, protecting him, caring for him? That’s what he needs right now. That's something you must constantly show.”

Melissa forked forcefully into an olive, a slice of pepper, and thought back to gentle moments with him, how hard and quivery she’d made him. “He likes it when I´m kind…very much…” She then thought to herself, as she imagined his face: You like it kind? Then I´ll give you kind. She chuckled to herself, finding how aggressive she’d become with her salad. “I want to be a comfort to him, I do,” she said, “but I think he kinda likes it both ways.”

“Sure sure,” Abby encouraged, “men can be funny like that. We’ve all got to realize that the old stereotypes are breaking down, roles are reversing. Men now like us to show them the rough, take-charge lovemaking. They want to be dominated, they want us to toss them around like rag dolls. Men are at the gym less, women more. Secretly they want to be, like, brutalized, made to feel small and weak and terrified of us. But then, they’re needy and - you’re right - then they want us as Mommy to comfort them.”

“Oh godddd Abby,” Melissa laughed, “stop you’re going to make me burst. I just want to boink him.”

“Haha nothing wrong with that,” Abby replied with a glimmer in her eyes, “When you’re in a relationship it’s just important to understand the other persons feelings. He’s like all men these days. What he really wants and needs is a mommy girlfriend.”

She knew this.

“He needs the comfort, the protection. But also the guidance, the discipline. He needs someone to tell him what to do, reward him when he does what you want, and sometimes punish him when he disappoints you.”

Abby watched her friend nodding, absorbing her advice, and continued. “I do it with the guy I’m dating, ” Abby said to Melissa, “Like, when we’re alone, just at home, I make sure to praise the little things he does, cleaning up after himself, wearing an outfit I like. It makes him feel good and it helps, it helps solidify our roles.”

“Jay does like that sort of thing too…” Melissa offered, nodding.

“And I make sure he feels dependent on me, too,” Abby continued, deciding to allow herself another slice of the bread on the table, “Like, I make more money then him, and I want him to know it. When we go out in public, for example. Usually, I’ll either pay for whatever we plan on spending money on that day or make him pay for his stuff with my money if we are buying little things for him.”

“ooo yes I can do that!” Melissa giggled, remembering how good it felt to pay for his dinner.

“For instance, a shirt that we just bought for him. We were at Hera’s. He carried it all around the store and all the way up to the register. I let him do that all by himself,” Abby began, “When we went to check out, I opened my purse and handed him my card, the cashier standing right in front of us, people watching. That part’s really

important, that he knows others are seeing it happen.”

“Was he embarrassed?” Melissa asked, feeling like she should be taking notes.

“A little. But I talked him through it, how to slide the card into the machine. And I signed for it of course, telling him he’d done a good job. He liked that.”

Melissa giggled. She hadn’t met Abby’s new boyfriend yet but he sounded like a keeper.

“And so,” Abby continued, shifting herself in her seat on the leather bench, “it all looks innocent enough to the person behind the register, the other people in the store, but him just knowing what was going to take place with that shirt and having to buy it with mommy’s money was really powerful. It’s just little things like that.”

“God I want to drive back to the office and take him shopping with me right now,” Melissa laughed.

“Haha yeah I loved every minute of it,” Abby conceded, “and I think he did too.” At that, she leaned in, over her plate of chilled pasta and crusty bread, to commiserate with her asset. On cue, Melissa leaned in too. “And then, in the parking lot, after getting him seated, fastening his seatbelt for him, I gave him a quickie.”

“A handjob?” Melissa laughed, catching herself snorting too loudly.

“Yeah a little reward, for being so good,” Abby smiled, leaning back again with a satisfied smile, “just like you’re going to reward him, this weekend, for doing everything mommy says…”

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yes I have one

#growing into the job

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welcome-to-oslov · 2 months ago

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When writing Tilrey's epic journey, has he ever surprised you?

Thinking of his big argument with "you" about living in a brothel ;), in the most recent chapter -- his vehement repudiation of what you think he wouldn't mind so much.

Curious how it's been writing a character through such a journey three decades of his life & if he's ever made decisions, taken/not taken action, or felt things you, the author, hadn't expected :)

I’ve been thinking about this! Examples aren’t springing to mind, maybe because I’m stressed out and not finding time to get immersed in Oslov, so I thought I would ask Tilrey about it.

ME: Do you remember any times you’ve surprised me?

TILREY: When are you going to finish the chapter where Bror and I have an overnight in a snowy cabin?? It was just getting good.

ME: Oh, so you like that scenario? I guess that’s not such a surprise. But you know, it feels like you’ve never pushed me toward any particular pairing. You like Bror, you like Gersha, you like other people. You seem to resist monogamy.

TILREY: Okay, so maybe I’m not very good at OTPs? But remember how you used to imagine me breaking up with Gersha and living sad and alone in a dormitory? I said no to that, too.

ME: You also resisted marriage when Gersha proposed to you. You eventually said yes, but with reservations. I think you have issues committing to anything, including the single life.

TILREY: After all you’ve put me through, does that surprise you?

ME: Um, no. Tell me something. Do you secretly regret that you aren’t living in Thurskein married to Dal the way you originally planned?

TILREY: Yeah. Sometimes.

ME: I think you would have been unfulfilled. You would never have led a revolution!

TILREY: Someone else could’ve done that. And I would have been spared so much pain.

ME: I know it’s terrible having Malsha in your head. But he introduced you to so many things! Books, politics, the whole world of Harbour. He expanded your horizons. Aren’t you better off?

TILREY: I guess I might’ve been a little boring if I’d stayed in Thurskein. I have a lazy, go-with-the-flow side.

ME: And Dal would have eventually cheated on you and broken your heart. C’mon, you know it’s true.

TILREY: She does always enjoy starting trouble. But you know, I think we would have had two or three kids, and I would have focused on them just like my mom did on me. I would have made a great dad in Thurskein. The way it turned out instead, in Redda—well, I did my best. That’s the most I can say.

ME: Your saying that isn’t a surprise to me, but I think you need to work on loving yourself.

TILREY: You say that while you’re delaying the best part of my overnight with Bror?! That was a good memory for me! Bittersweet, but good.

ME: It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but we’ll get back to the cabin in the woods. I promise. ❤️❤️

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missmitchieg · 9 months ago

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maybe it seems like Garcia is acting immature out of spite for coming back to the BAU and feeling like the team "forced" her to come back and it wouldn't surprise me if she threatened to to quit if they call her out or something like "you ask me to come back here when I didn't want to, so you need accept and put up with the 'new' me if you want to find this unsub or I'm leaving. And you need my help." Just thinking about that based on her interaction with Emily in 16x07

I've actually talked to my mom about that a couple times because according to JJ, it's canon now they promised they wouldn't ask her to come back, so I guess she was really hurt about the broken promise. That bit makes sense.

And really, life working at the BAU for 15 years did kinda cause Garcia 15 years worth of horrifying traumatic events (like she mentioned to Rossi when he refused help for his depression and grieving) like, for very specific example, getting SHOT, so I see how it would be rough on her to go back to that. But then it was Luke who asked her when JJ told him not to, and I'm very firm in my stance that Garcia just can't say no to him but she's really spiteful about that so she's like "you people promised you wouldn't make me come back here! You need me a lot more than I need all of you right now. *looks at JJ* Not you, J. You're fine. But as for the rest of you, I can walk out of here right now if I want to and none of you better chase me, *looks at Luke* especially you!"

I guess I just kinda expected her return to have a little more fear/anxiety and sadness rather than anger and bitchiness because it's really hard for me to imagine her being that level of mean to any of the team. Like, she wasn't even that mean to Luke before and she warmed up to him so quick when she knew Roxy was a (very adorable precious little bby) dog and not a hot girlfriend.

So, yeah, watching Evolution after the first 15 seasons is just kinda disorienting and uncomfy for me because of that.

#criminal minds evolution #penelope garcia

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bigirlbased · 7 months ago

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how do you know you love someone?

its a hard thing to figure out especially cause there's many different kinds, but love can mainly be put into 3 categories the love you feel for your family the love you feel for your friends and the love you feel for someone romantically now i think I've figured it out, and as a neat bonus this trick works for all three kinds of love, though its probably the most useful for the romantic kind as that's what people generally have the hardest time figuring out so biboibased, how do you know you love someone? well ill tell you you know you love someone when you enjoy being there for them let me go into more detail when they ask you for a favor, or need you for emotional support, or just need someone to talk to,and you are excited to be there,to help them, to make them feel better of course you don't have to be overjoyed to like take out the trash for them or something but when they need you, and instead of thinking "fine ill go do that real quick i guess" or "maybe they will do something for me" you are just happy to do something for them, I think that's how you know you love someone and like i said this applies to all 3 kinds of love, if its helping your mom bring in groceries, helping your friend through an emotional issue, or being there for your partner (or partners polyamory is based) when they need you, if you unconditionally enjoy just making them feel better, then you love them i have a couple examples of my own one time i was playing with my little brother, we play this game sometimes where we make up characters and have little play fights where we pretend to have powers and have an epic battle. Now i was using a toy knife for my character, it was real metal but no blade, thing was as dull as a rock, but i did accidently hit his finger, now while there was no bleeding or bruising it still definitely hurt really bad, he was crying hard and i knew i messed up, i go into older brother mode and try to cheer him up, hes still crying when i get an idea "hey (brothers name) i know that probably stung really bad right" i know i probably shouldn't say this in front of an 8 year old but i think it would work "it stung like a bitch didn't it?" and he instantly starts laughing, and his mood just turns around, we laugh about it and then go back to playing of course I've always loved my brother and i know this ,hes family and I've always cared for him, but cheering him up in that moment, it really settled in how much i cared for him, how much i wanted to be there for him, I think also as a side effect it also a better older brother cause i realized how much I mean to him, how much i could cheer him up and I'm more grateful for that now example 2 is a bit more cheesy but stick with me i have dated a fair few people, and as much as it hurts to say and how shitty it sounds to be honest, it kind of felt like a chore to be with them i always cared for them yes, and i would be there for them, it was my job as there partner, but after a while i realized i didn't really love them like i thought i did, either before or after the end of the relationship that was until my most recent one, its the one that brought me to the conclusion i have about love alongside the moment with my brother when she needs something, i felt wonderful doing it for her, when she was anxious or having issues, it never feels like a chore helping her through them, I'm excited to be there, when she's happy it makes me happy, and she's there for me too anyways if you read all that thanks for listening to my little rambles, don't take this as solid fact or anything its just my thoughts and im only 15, got a whole lot more life to live and thoughts might change

anyways thats it for now you all have a good day

#ramblings #sorry for using so many comas lol #im just used to typing like that #your regularly scheduled me yapping about media will return soonish maybe

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the-silver-peahen-residence · 6 months ago

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You know what I might ask? What about a switch with two other couples. Like What if Jaron and Melinda switched? Like Jaron was the prisoner and Melinda was the officer? :3

((Hmmm, it's something like that but Melinda is also a prisoner as well in this reversed Au. Remember, her fraction the cursed vixens were taken as well so she's a prisoner like Jaron. Though, it didn't stop them from meeting up with one another for....private reasons. *snickering* ))

((BUT! I can write a separate idea of what it was like if Jaron was the prisoner and Melinda a officer or maybe she was being corrupted by Jaron to have her do what he asks for a reward? But here is your example.))

((And Jaron belongs to @demon-blood-youths ))

Silver butterfly mun/Peahen mom

'I just have to give him his food and then I can leave. No talking, or anything. I just need to keep my distance from him..I'm hoping I can.'

Officer Melinda sighed carrying a tray of food with her while she was walking down the hallway. She knew some of the DBT were in this prison but others here were just as dangerous to say the least. She got this job a while ago but it was nothing too bad. Or as it was before meeting him.

Inmate 3422 A.K.A. Jaron Jackal. He was well known for his demonic ability the silver tongue where whoever looks into those eyes or caught a simple scent lingering from him would fall under his control. She has been given the task of watching him because she was a physic that might do her best to keep him at bay. At first, she did where both were against one another and she keeps him under control. Though, as the days pass, she finds it harder not to. Given he was pretty handsome for a man but she tries to not let it get in between her job.

Right now, she was bringing him his lunch but her silver eyes remain looking ahead. In a moment, she arrived at the door where he was but only takes a deep breath and lets it out. She walks in after unlocking the door and looks.

"Inmate 3422..I've got your lunch today." she said that the other in the cell was looking from a book he got to see who it was. His yellow eyes looked right at her silver ones only to smile.

"Well, hello officer Brooks. Come to visit me again?" he looks to her but she remains quiet to see her walk over showing the tray of food.

"I have to check on you from time to time so yes...that and after today when you caused two people to fight again." she mutters but he shrugs to look at her.

"I know but they wanted to start something so I had to try to..fix it. They didn't seem to mind it." he said.

"They beat each other black and blue." Melinda said to remind him before it took a few of the other officers to break it up. However, she saw him chuckling while sitting down.

"I guess they asked for it. I don't mind a little fight here and there. But enough about that..you said you were checking up on me? How sweet." he gives his gentle smile that Melinda blinks but only looks away to try staying calm. However she looks back.

"Please don't. I'm just here to give you your lunch. I have other things to do after." she said.

"Oh? You don't wanna stay a little longer with me? I don't mind the company.." he said but Melinda still remains quiet to look at him.

"..I...really can't. Now, please back away from the cell door. I need to open it so you can come out and sit to eat. "she said as Jaron did as she asked while she walks over to take out the key and unlock the cell door. She moves to the side to let him walk out but Melinda still was silent seeing him walk out while stretching.

Even if he was a gentle male from what others say, he didn't seem too bad. NO wait, she shouldn't think that! Melinda remains calm but Jaron goes to sit and sees the food. "Do you really have to leave me alone to eat? Can't you just stay for a little while?" he asked.

"....Like I said, I can't. Now please eat your food." she said getting ready to head out but he sighed to look at it then at her.

"Oh come on..I'm sure you can stay for a while..remember, you do have to keep a eye on me officer. You wouldn't want me to do something to get in trouble do you?" he asked but Melinda still remains silent.

"I know that.....I just-"

"Are you scared I'll bite? Just like the last time?" he teased but she felt her cheeks heat up to shake her head.

"No! I...*Sighs* Just please eat. I really..I mean I..." she was muttering but Jaron smiled to look at her. He saw her calm down till he chuckled. Cute. "Hey Miss Brooks? Can you come here? I have something to tell you.." he said.

"Huh? Tell me what?" she asked.

"Come closer and I'll tell you.." he said.

"......."

"Oh come on, I promise to behave..I just wanna tell you something.." even if she was nervous to get near him. Though, she walks over slowly to look at him but she got close enough while looking nervous.

"Okay, What is it you wish to-" Suddenly he grabs her wrist gently that she tenses about to pull away but he got up to trap her against the wall while looking at her.

"H..Hey!"

"Shhhhhh...." he gently touches her lips with a finger but Melinda was blushing worse now that he keeps her where she was. She seriously was cute.

"Inmate 3422, I order you t-"

"Just call me Jaron. I think that fits better since you might call me that.......way better than that don't you think?" he asked tilting her head back using a finger as she was nervous.

"Besides..you seriously are adorable.....I could eat you up." he teased looking at her as her silver eyes were looking into his own yellow golden like eyes.

"B..but I.."

"Trust me, I did say I wanna tell you something which is I'm sorry for the kiss. The first time was a sudden one..I really would love to give you a more..proper kiss....." he said as she was shaking.

"......You....that's not allowed. You know I..I...."

"Oh come now it's fine....besides.." He looks to her again but touches her cheek.

"Maybe you wish for something more......"

"I..."

"Or would you like another one? Just like before? A simple...."

He leans down to her. "Gentle...."

Their lips were almost touching. "Kiss?"

His words were soft but she felt her eyes half way open as he did the same to softly kiss her. She blushed red from the kiss, just like before after that time.

Even when he was gentle and keeping her close, he was always gentle during this. She was still flushed from that feeling him kissing her but differently this time. As he held her close kissing her softly, she grips his prisoner shirt shaking from the kiss till he breaks it. She panted flushed only for Jaron to chuckle licking his lips.

"Still sweet too..you really are special." he teased that she blushed worse.

"......L..Let g....g..go.." she mutters that he only smiled to let her go that Melinda covers her lips from the kiss. "I..I hope you like your food but please e...eat." she said.

"No thanks..I rather have something else to eat......" he said as Melinda shook again. He looks at her but this told her he was hungry for something else and she might be on the menu.

'Does the prison allow this sort of thing now!?' She thought only to get kissed again though he would enjoy his meal for the time being.

#OOC #scattered silver rose petals #ask answered #mun answered #silver butterfly mun #peahen mom #the mansion owner #prisoner!jaron #the fractions of NYC #officer!melinda #corrupting demons au #officer demons au #anon

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pedrostylez · 1 year ago

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The he smut of part 7 was 🔥 😈 Anna confrontation was kinda anti climatic tho but I think I get it

Hi anon! I’m glad you enjoyed the smut. Writing smut is difficult for me because I will reread it over and over and I’m not convinced it is good. Common issues lol.

I’m not reading this as you trying to be snarky/mean, but I’m going to defend my writing just a tad

I think it is important to remember that we are only seeing a snippet of time for these characters.

Reader and Anna’s relationship extends all the way to elementary school-where they are both only children with fucked up families trying to mother each other while reader’s family splits apart and while Anna deals with emotional abuse from her mother. Both try to protect each other from it, but specifically Anna tries to protect the reader from knowing how horrible Anna’s mom is. (Example: Anna’s mom berating her for sleeping around in Drabble 1, doesn’t tell the reader about it that night because she knows the reader looks up to Anna’s mom as her own mom. Doesn’t use it as an excuse when they are confronting each other, which would have been a totally valid thing to bring up, since it brings context to what her mental state was. Doesn’t even mention that Brad was literally kissing another girl when Anna approached him? If I was reader I would have wanted that information, but Anna protects her feelings yet again)

Reader also feels like she protects Anna by not talking about her own feelings. Reader see’s Anna as the golden child, always perfect and actually thinks Anna is oblivious to her issues, and so she bottles up her own feelings to keep Anna happy. “You wished you could be like her...” “Unintentionally attracted everyone around her to her realm.” Are both very jealous statements, just in the first paragraph of the first chapter. Reader protects Anna by being the sane one when they go out to parties-dressing “down” in comparison, (I don’t like this wording but I’m not sure how else to put it) letting Anna be a little crazy while reader is basically sober. Anna knows this, and in some cases likely takes advantage because she knows she can lean on reader and have a fun night.

These two characters have a lot of history, and we are only seeing a snippet of when they are finally communicating this particular issue. They have gone their whole lives not just supporting each other but tip-toeing around each other's issues to be the shoulder to cry on. We are talking about two girls that grew up together, are now in their late 20’s, and have still stuck by each other-after moves, college, jobs, long term relationships not working, etc. In the scheme of it all, this extended spat that reader has held on to without telling Anna is...tiny. They will get over it. They are sisters that chose each other rather than born into the same family.

I did debate having Santiago and Frankie be stuck in the middle, but that was just wrong with not only the timeline I’m following (Frankie and reader being together for only a couple weeks of time) but also your significant other getting in the middle of your friendship spats is typically the indicator of boundaries being overstepped. (I can only use myself as the example. If my friends and I are having issues, my partner is being told information exclusively so I can work through it out loud. He does not get in the middle, he does not talk to my friend to defend me, NOTHING without my consent first.) Especially if the relationship is new. Frankie asks multiple times if everything is okay, and reader says she will handle it. Santiago asks Anna what’s going on, and she gives an explanation that is pretty vague, because at the end of the day-this is between Anna and reader and no one else. And...maybe this is me just writing in a self-indulgent way.

So I guess what I’m saying is yeah maybe it was anticlimactic, but without it being fucking crazyyyyyyy (which there is a place for that, but I am not currently able to write it) this is what makes sense for Anna and reader’s relationship in my brain.

#something else #anon ask #Abi talks

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tetrisfinished · 1 year ago

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over the past little while, i've wanted to come on here and dump my thoughts so many times. but i've just found that i've been having a busy season of life and so....haven't yet had the opportunity.

and tonight, i do have the opportunity - sort of - and of course, nothing is coming to mind.

well, i guess that's not totally true.

i want to talk about anger.

i've been really thinking through a bunch of stuff around this emotion (but IS IT an emotion or is it just a byproduct of emotion that we feel!?).

see, the way i think of it - anger is never alone. anger comes as a result of sadness or loneliness or a host of other negative emotions.

and i think, the more we process and learn to deal with and understand our anger, the better able we might become at dealing with it.

let me give an example of what i mean.

i get angry a lot. for a lot of different reasons. one of them is....when esa is being annoying. when he won't listen to what i have to say or do what i ask of him - it usually leads to anger.

and in the moment of anger, all i do is try and suppress it and keep a calm facade on top and try and handle the situation without exploding on esa.

which works maybe 7 out of 10 times. but esa is left with a LOT of shrapnel of the yelling and rage spewing the 3 out of 10 times i am just UNABLE to process or hold in my anger.

so here's where i think i can work on understanding my anger.

i think i've identified steps to deal with it. i have to step away and really take a couple breaths to get myself back in the state of mind to really think through it

when i've done my breaths, i have to understand what is the reason for my anger; because on the surface it just is that esa isn't listening but more likely the underlying cause could be something like i'm losing control of my situation. like the other day, when i was supposed to be at my cousins' place to go to the carnival together and i stopped at a tim's to get a sippy cup for esa and esa was just not having it and decided to tantrum. what actually happened was, i blew up at him and yelled and scared him - which did work to gain control but i felt like shit right to this moment and that feeling won't stop because i literally tried to SCARE a 3-year-old into obedience. don't bother commenting, no shame anyone else could give me would match the shame i feel for myself in that moment and all through to today...and onwards.

ANYWAY, so if i had just forced myself to step back for TWO SECONDS and asked myself why i was getting so upset or worked up - i would have realized that it was because of multiple reasons.

my kid was not listening - ie loss of control

on top of that he decided to tantrum - ie distressed person that tends to severely overwhelm me

the pressure of arriving at my cosuins' place on time despite that i was actually already late - ie shame

the need to get my kid his sippy cup so i don't end up being the shitty mom who forgets everything for their kid because....shitty mom - ie shame

and all of these things led me to anger.

but if i had just stopped myself for 10 SECONDS, i would have realized:

it is NOT a big deal to arrive a little bit later to someone's place with good reason - i should not be ashamed and instead i should try and leave earlier the next time

my cousin has a BUNCH of extra sippy cups that i know she would have GLADLY handed over to me without a single judgement re: my parenting had i asked - again nothing to be ashamed of because my logical brain knows and understands that she is a compassionate human being and she is always willing to help if needed (and again, i should use this as a note to self to be better prepared the next time)

i never had nor will i ever have control over my kid or any other human being other than myself - so that loss of control over esa was a futile thing to even become upset over.

i should have shown actual compassion to esa in his time of distress and instead i turned around and made the situation 10 million times worse by exploding

but of course, as we know - i did none of those things.

so i guess probably my biggest struggle is being able to access the tiny little rationale or reasonable or logical part of my brain when the anger starts to cloud it and just step away and take a few breaths.

how do i do that?

it's i guess as simple as just doing it.

i have to force myself to step back. i have to force myself to take a breath.

i can do it. and i will try and try and try to do it.

because that feeling of yelling at esa will haunt me forever. and every other time i've given in to my anger.

anyway.

that's all.

goodnight.

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v01d3nt1ty · 1 year ago

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this autism discovery thing is really bonkers. i have had a *notoriously* poor memory. i've only been able to recall lil snatches of my childhood for most of my adult life.

so now that i'm thinking on my life & ways i have historically experienced neurodivergent traits, my brain is learning how to remember. (it was only a couple of yrs ago when i learned this meant trauma.)

the point is.

i now have these absolute random memories of a time when i was very much being autistic &, ofc, the shame i was caused to feel bc i was an undiagnosed autistic child & i was doing smth i "shouldn't."

for example.

when i was abt 10 yrs old, close to the end of 5th grade, we had a Major Assignment that counted for like ½ of our grade. (like really? wtf. we're children.) anyway we had to do a report about a state that we chose.

i (inwardly) panicked bc i had No Fkn Clue what i was supposed to do. by that time i was already extremely timid & intimidated by authority, so i felt too scared to ask an Adult (also, it would mean i was stupid for not being able to figure out how to do something everyone else seemed to know how to do, & i was Gifted.) i don't remember much of that 2 wks, but i do remember anxiety & lying (i NEVER lied - i still don't - & it felt bad) to both my guardians (my mom, my grandparents)& my teacher abt how i was coming along on the report.

(idk why i didn't ask my bff for help, i'm going to guess it's bc i was always second to her & i didn't want to look stupid.)

anyway, time came to hand it in & i didn't. i was panicking so much like holy shit this is bad i'm going to get yelled at i'm not going to pass & i won't graduate w my friends & peers. i had a tummy ache all day & everything felt hazy. dissociation i suppose.

so after we get home, i'm playing w probably barbies idk but i'm playing on the floor, absolutely panicking, when my grandma gets a call from my teacher ofc. she comes & asks me what happened to the report & i was like "my teacher must have lost it." my grandma already knows i'm full of shit, but ig she decided to humor me, & says she'll call her back & ask her to look for it. & she was like you better hope she finds it. so she calls the teacher, recounting what i had said & ofc she doesn't have it. my grandma busts in & starts *screaming* at me. i start sobbing like i'm sorry i'm sorry. all i really remember was her saying "'SHE LOST IT, MY FOOT!" which even in my current emotional state i thought was weird. she repeated it like she was so furious she couldn't think of other words.

eventually she stormed out (probably yelling something like "what am i going to do with you?" & i sobbed for what felt like hrs (& might have been for all i know. i feel like i missed dinner idk.)

anyway, she actually does come & apologize at some point, probably hugs me & tells me she loves me, & says she'll try to figure it out, SIGH.

so, it got figured out, i graduated with my friends & peers. i had to do the report over the summer, & my grandma made me do an extra one for punishment.

IT. WAS. UNBEARABLY. BORING. but i got through it ok.

holy crap, did i just heal my trauma? maybe this will stop the nightmares i have abt not doing the work, not passing, & not being able to graduate (except in my dreams it's hs which is a Much Bigger Deal. sometimes i'm failing out of college instead of just dropping out like i did.)

just now recognising my grandma's inability to regulate her emotions.

🙃🙃🙃

#adhd #autism #actually autistic #audhd #trauma #yey trauma memories

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nullio · 2 years ago

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I haven't seen other ppl say this (but maybe I just haven't looked hard enough)

That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil is a song abt a married couple trying to have not-boring sex right??

Like, obviously all their songs have deep and complex themes/meanings but surface level its a song abt sex right

I will now analyze the lyrics and show how I came to that conclusion

"...And I make sure the bairns are fed

You turn the telly on to drown out your fear

You make the bed up silent on the floor, so no one will hear us

You try so loud to love me..."

Exhibit A I guess, so when I read this the picture I get is a married couple putting their kids to bed [bairns: Scottish / Northern English slang for kid] and the Dad, in an attempt to keep things quiet, sets up sheets on the floor so they can stay quiet while they boogie

The lyric "You turn the telly on to drown out your fear" is especially intriguing because OBVIOUSLY you don't want your kids to hear you fucking, that shit is traumatizing, but the word fear got me there- listening to the whole song I get the feeling that the Dad figure is scared/ashamed of his sexual nature

"You try so loud to love me

I cannot seem to hear"

These lyrics hit home the vibe for me that effort is being put in but the feeling, the spark isn't there

"But beneath all of our panting..."

This one feels obvious, Sex -> Things get steamy -> Panting

"And as you grip me like an animal that you're about to spear"

In this example, my dear reader, the "Spear" is his "Penis"

"And we fall into each other, the scratching grows so loud

Because that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out"

According to my sources (my brain and 1 Google result) the phrase "fall into eachother" can mean to fall in love and/or to initiate sex

This is a good time to mention that I consider the actual "Unwanted Animal" in the song is a metaphor for desire/lust/passion etc

The couple (mostly the Mother character) are used to suppressing this extreme desire but the monotony is getting to be too much and the "Animal" (the desire) has grown too strong

"And I scream, "What's the time, Mr. Wolf?"

But you, you're blind, you bleat, you bear your claws"

OKAY OKAY SO APPARENTLY

"Whats The Time, Mr.Wolf" is a popular UK playground game that's similar to "Red Light Green Light" if ur American

Rules are as follows: The players chant "What's the time Mr Wolf" and the wolf replies with a time. The players hop that number of spaces forwards on the hopscotch court. If "Mr Wolf" answers with "It's dinner time" the players try to run back to the beginning of the hopscotch court before they are caught by "Mr Wolf".

So wtf does that mean here?? 🤔 I could b grasping at straws but if we're playing by thr rules of the game, I take it as Mom asking Dad if she has permission to move closer and/or if it's "Dinner Time" a.k.a time to 👏get👏things👏moving

"Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours

And our screaming joins in unison, I cry out to the Lord"

Not gonna, this kinda threw a wrench (a spanner, haha) into my whole theory- it sorta draws the line of

"is this a song abt repressed lust and boring sex? or a loveless/abusive marriage finally boiling over???"

Anyway, either 'ripping the ribcage open and devouring' is a metaphor for cunnalingus or a metaphor for an argument

"Well, hello, my hollow Holofernes"

I wink, but you don't get the joke"

Everybody and their mother have tried to figure out what in the sam hell "Hello my hollow Holofernes" joke means and noone has gotten an answer

From context clues like the winking and the fact that it is a joke, I can only assume that she was trying to make a euphemism and it flew over everybody's head

"Be good to me, " I beg of him

"Be good to me, " I beg of him..."

"...And he replies (oh), "No, no, not I"

Again, this lyric here is throwing me off and makes me wonder again, if this is a song abt repressed lust/boring sex OR loveless/abusive marriage

The last thing I can say abt all this is that it seems TAD have a lot of religious imagery in their songs, including this one

(DISCLAIMER: I was not raised religious in the slightest, I'm going off of what I've seen other people say)

from what I've gathered abt religion, specifically Catholicism and Christianity is that there's a lot of shame surrounding sexual desire so, that helps there (and again 🥲 i know next to nothing abt religion so that could all be an entirely false takeaway)

So that was fun, lemme know what u think. Maybe I'm not alone in this theory, maybe I just haven't looked hard enough. XoXo

#she speaks #TAD #the amazing devil #joey batey #madeline hyland #folk #folk music #alt folk #music #music theory #*bites you*#that unwanted animal #the horror and the wild

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poisonmaximoff · 3 years ago

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BELATED FATE (Elizabeth Olsen x FemReader).

The whole story: here.

Chapter 5. Close to her

Elizabeth's POV:

We entered the restaurant and immediately went to the second floor, sitting down at the free table by the window that was showing us a magnificent view of the sunny, quiet street. We didn't talk much on the way here, and it seemed like we were both in our own thoughts. I ordered some random salad I saw on the menu, and she ordered risotto with chicken and spinach.

"Do you like italian cuisine?" I asked to start a conversation.

She looks up from the window and a small chuckle escapes her mouth. "I like literally any food that I see on my way." She doesn't look like a foodie, so that surprises me a little, but I enjoy learning little details about her like this one.

Curiously narrowing her eyes, she asks: "Why did you only order a light salad, are you on some type of the diet or something?"

"Yeah, something like that." Little does she know, I just lost my appetite recently due to constant exhausting self-digging and a feeling of being lost and incomplete.

"But why? You look already amazing and you have a perfect body!" She instantly says and I catch a glimpse of regret in her eyes. "Or does it have anything to do with health issues?" I'm so sorry if I'm being neglectful, I didn't mean to" she stars gibbering and over-gesticulating.

"It's okay, it's okay, calm down. I just have this fasting days sometimes to detox my body." I'm a professional of making up lies for literally no reason.

"Oh, I get it, I'm constantly trying to have couple of those, but then like screw it and go to McDonalds." I was about to say that she doesn't care about her organism, but then suddenly remember that I used to eat junk food from time to time too. And she's a grown person, who can take care of herself. She definitely doesn't need me to make sure that she eats normal food.

But I just can't ignore the urge to ask her something. "Do you often cook homemade food? I mean something healthy, like soups or side dishes?"

"Did my mom send you to babysit me?" she answers me with a counter question, but her eyes show me all the unseriousness of the question.

"Well, she pays me a fine sum for this, so...But for real, do you?" I just need to know.

"Don't judge me please, but I actually can't cook at all and mostly eat takeaways and order deliveries" she says shrugging and fidgeting in her seat.

God, why are we so different, but I still feel so drawn to her, needing to know every little detail about her, even if I don't find it has anything to do with my interests? Although maybe it's much deeper than that.

"What are the most important and valuable things in a relationship for you?" I don't understand why I jumped so abruptly from one topic to another, and I didn't even have enough time to fully realize what exactly I was going to ask.

Her face becomes visibly confused and she looks away from me for a second, pressing her lips together. I was about to apologize, but she didn't let me.

"Sincerity, loyalty, trust and ability to accept each other's drawbacks. People don't need to have a lot in common to be in a healthy relationship. The main thing is to have a common picture of shared future and readiness to support each other. I'd like my partner to respect my opinions and wishes without trying to impose their point of view. Relationship...it's about acceptance I guess and constant working towards better understanding of each other. Emotional bond is way more important for me than sexual intimacy, for example. I mean of course it's a very pleasant pastime and a perfect opportunity to show your love and affection to your partner, but it's not the main thing in relationship."

I'm pleasantly surprised that she didn't laugh it off and seriously answered my question, especially in such a detailed way. Now I'm starting to understand what special I see about her and why I feel so connected to her. She just perfectly described my own position regarding the topic.

Y/n's POV:

El's question took me by surprise, but I decided to answer it honestly. When I noticed that she had quieted down and stared at the table, I already regretted my decision. Shit, I probably got carried away too much.

"Did I take it too far?" I ask hoping that she just comprehends everything I said.

"Oh? I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, on the contrary, you described everything exactly as I'd have done it. I'm just surprised that we after all have something in common" she clasped her hands in the lock and gave me an adorable smile.

I'm actually very glad that she shares my opinion al least regarding one thing. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about the fact that we don't have many common interests.

During lunch, we talked a little more about relationships between people and our social circles. Then it was time to go to the next meeting, which our partners moved to a restaurant twenty minutes away from the place we just were in.

"If only I knew that we're supposed to go to restaurants, companies and just talk to people, then I asked to be your assistant much earlier" I grinned at her and was met with her soft smile.

"Trust me, it's much more than that. I'd be in love with this job, if everything was like you described."

"You don't like your job?"

"Not like I don't enjoy it at all. Sometimes it's just too stressful and having no clear work schedule makes it hard to plan things like personal trips, for example. I can suddenly be called for a meeting or business trip and I have no choice but to accept it and do my job, you know."

"Wow. I didn't think about it from that side. It must be terribly uncomfortable to cancel your plans because of this and realign it with someone else's."

She gave me a sad smile, nodded and said that it's necessary to get used to it, because it becomes a significant part of your life.

I love the way Elizabeth's posture and facial expression change when she turns on her "professional mode". It's like two different people, which is quite intriguing. We approach two men who are already waiting for us at a table in a restaurant and shake hands with them one by one. One of them is short and plump, while the other, on the contrary, is tall and thin brunette wearing stylish glasses.

"Good to see you again, Miss Olsen" says the first man to Elizabeth, bringing her hand to his mouth to give it a small kiss. Gross. Do men really believe that they can win a woman's full affection only through such gestures of attention?

"Nice to see you too, Mr. Garcia."

"Let me introduce to you my assistant Jacob" he says and points to the guy sitting next to him. When I turn my head to look at him, I see that he's already staring at me and gives me a shy smile when I notice it. Elizabeth's eyes flick between me and Jacob and then she introduces me to men.

The negotiations are quite intense, I'm trying to participate, but quickly lose the thread of the conversation, so now I'm just sitting and listening to them. Something touches my hand and I see that Jacob passes me a piece of paper folded in half. Not quite understanding what it means, I unfold it and read: "Such a beautiful girl and all bored. I would love to entertain you whenever you want. How about tomorrow at 6 p.m. at the «Richelieu»? My phone number is on the back." Did he just ask me out after knowing me for like half an hour? Not that I'm not attracted to men at all, but when such gorgeous woman like Elizabeth sits next to me I can't even imagine going on a date with anyone else.

I flick my eyes between Jacob and the note, noticing that El went quiet for a few seconds. I raise my eyes at her and meet a second-lasting burning look before she continues speaking. Another two hours later, Mr. Garcia finally agrees to the terms that Elizabeth offers him and they sign a contract. Seeing her so smug and proud of her work definitely warms my heart.

During goodbyes, Mr. Garcia kisses her hand again, and Jacob does the same to mine, then smirks and winks at me, what doesn't go unnoticed by El. Her features hold a cold expression, so I can't tell exactly what she's feeling right now.

She reached the car without changing her stoic face, and when we got into it, she just silently stared at the wheel before breaking a silence a minute later.

"What was that, Y/n?" she asked in relatively calm and low voice.

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Did he invite you on a date or something? During a damn business meeting?" a bright edge of irritation is in the sound of her voice.

"Why are you so mad about it, El?" I'm trying to remain calm, though I don't understand why the hell it could bring her to such reaction.

"So he did. You know, you could arrange a personal life during your free from work time, Y/n. It's terribly unprofessional" her voice dripping with annoyance while she refuses to look me in the eyes. I don't understand anything, it's not even my fault that he did it and now she's doubting my ability to hold myself professionally. I already disappointed her on my first day.

"El, look at me please" she doesn't move. "Miss Olsen, please give me a minute of your attention" she rolls her eyes, but still turns her head so she could meet my gaze.

"You know that I couldn't telepathically tell him to not pass me this note, right?" I'm trying to talk to her as calmly as possible, not provoking her on another wave of negative emotions. "He did what he did and I left the note there. You're right, it would be totally unprofessional to arrange some date during a negotiation. Besides, I have no interest in him or anyone else yet."

Her features visibly relaxed and the previous anger disappeared from her eyes. "You left it there?" she clarified.

"Yes. I'd never agree to go on a date with a person knowing only his name, and especially during working hours. Can we go now?"

I see her mood instantly improving and she finally starts the car. It was an actually long and a bit exhausting day, so I feel unusually tired, even though it's a pleasant tiredness. Elizabeth noticed my small yawn and gently asked: "So, where are we going?"

"Home. I just want to finally get home."

"I literally don't know where you live, Y/n" she says with a small laugh.

Oh shit, I must be really tired. I tell her my address and she promises to take me home safely. My mind habitually replays today's events. She is so different with me and during work. Memories of her perfect posture, her confident tone when she spoke to people, her slightly furrowed brows and clenched fists when they didn't agree to her conditions... All of this I find super-attractive for some reason. But with me she is usually so indulgent and patient that sometimes I get lost because of the contrast she shows me. I feel a little guilty about the situation with that goddamn note, even though I definitely wasn't able to prevent Jacob's actions. Just seeing her upset about something related to me is definitely not what I want. I love her smile and will do my best to see it more often.

Soon we arrive at our destination. Elizabeth gets out of the car and walks around to open the door for me. What a gentlewoman.

"I didn't know you live in the high rise, Y/n" she says and lifts her head to look at the huge beautiful building with many windows.

"It has always been my dream, so my parents made me this gift for the 20th birthday" I say and fond memories arise in my head. I couldn't be more grateful for everything they have done for me.

We walk along the parking lot, past the reception, where I greet Ms. Anderson, and get into the elevator. I press the button for the top floor and soon we find ourselves at the door of my apartment.

"Well, here we are," I say with reluctance to say goodbye to El so quickly. "Maybe you'd like to come in?" I add with a hint of hope.

"I'd love to, Y/n, but unfortunately not today. I promise to definitely come visit you another day, deal?" She looks at me apologetically and I nod to her, hoping she didn't say it out of pure politeness.

"Of course, El, goodnight then, drive home safe."

"Goodnight, Y/n, I will" she says with a last smile and heads for the elevator, and I remain standing at my door staring at her back.

#elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen fanfic #elizabeth olsen fanfiction #lizzie olsen #marvel fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago

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Twisted 20 - The Compass [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 4000

Summary: Coming home can be unpleasant.

After getting a phone call from the FBI, you were now sure of one thing:

Karma really needed another hobby other than messing with you, and this break up was definitely not going the way it was supposed to go.

For starters, people who broke up with each other were not supposed to see each other this much. You had different lives, different social circles, different jobs and somehow universe kept pushing you two in each other’s space.

To make things worse, the last time you talked to Garcia she had offhandedly mentioned Luke dragging Spencer to a nightclub much to his displeasure and introducing him to a friend of his. Naturally, your mind was full of images of Spencer in a happy relationship, eventually moving to a house in the suburbs with her and having kids and all that.

“I don’t know what Luke is thinking,” Garcia said, “But I’m two seconds away from pulling him aside and giving him a piece of my mind. Reid is obviously still not over you, ambushing him to introduce him to a girl won’t change that.”

Needless to say, you had been in a terrible mood for the last couple of days.

“What’s taking her so long?” you checked your wristwatch and Nolan looked at you over his newspaper.

“Oh she’s talking to the board of the charity auction,” he said, “There are some last minute changes, apparently.”

You heaved a sigh and checked the time again, “I can’t stay for long,” you murmured and Nolan raised his brows.

“Oh? In a hurry?”

“Me and Spencer and…well, some of his team will go by the woods,” you said, “They found some bones near dad’s cabin close to the weekend house and they think it might help me remember where the rest is buried.”

He made a face, “That’s disturbing.”

“Nah, I thought going on a dead body remains hunt with my ex in the woods near one of my childhood trauma places would be romantic,” you deadpanned, “You don’t do that with your exes?”

“Not really?”

“Oh man you’re missing out.”

He let out a chuckle and shook his head, “I take it things haven’t improved on the heartbreak front?”

“I wouldn’t know, apparently his friend is setting him up with someone.”

“Mm, let me guess,” he mused, “Your plan is to do nothing about it?”

“No, I’m actually following your example,” you smiled at him sweetly, “I’ll just wait for decades and hope the girl turns out to be a serial killer.”

He tilted his head. “Touché.”

“Aw thank you,” you pushed at the food in your plate, “No seriously, what can I do? I can’t just go to him and tell him not to date other people. We broke up— I broke up with him.”

“You could explain the reason behind that.”

“I can’t do that.”

He clicked his tongue, “Well then, I suggest you get ready just in case he happens to ask for your help planning his wedding.”

“You’ve been absolutely no help at all Nolan, I appreciate that.”

“I’m offering you my wisdom and you’re not taking it,” he held up his hands, gesturing surrender, “I also suggested to get his superiors to fix a meeting with him to talk to him about certain boundaries and mistakes but…”

“Get his superiors— I’m sorry, what?”

“I play poker with the head of the department he works under.”

“Of course you do.” You sipped your coffee, “When did you suggest that exactly?”

“Oh not to you, to your mother,” he nodded to himself as he saw the look on your face, “Yeah. But then I saw how it could not only damage some professional relationships, but also it’s better to let young people solve their own problems, no matter how easy it is to solve them with an outsider’s influence.”

You pulled your brows together.

“Try again.”

“I asked your mother and she said no.”

“Oh thank God.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Yeah no, don’t do that. We’re not in high school, you know?”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he smiled slightly at the scandalized look on your face.

“Whatever,” you waved a hand in the air, “It’s strange that mom said no though. She doesn’t really like him nowadays, and she keeps listing all his….disadvantages whenever I talk about him.”

“Disadvantages?”

“Mm hm. The other day she said it was maybe for the best in the long run, because he’s an FBI agent so considering his paychecks, we would eventually fight about our future children’s tuition fees.”

Nolan thought for a moment, “She does have a point, considering what FBI pays their agents…”

You blinked a couple of times, “Right,” you said, “That’s exactly why I broke up with him. Because who would be paying for our hypothetical future children’s future tuition fees, yeah. Deal breaker, that one.”

“It could be a contributing factor though—“ he started but you heard your mother’s heels approaching and soon enough she walked into the living room and pressed a kiss on your cheek.

“Darling, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting,” she told you before pecking Nolan on the lips, making him smile, “This whole charity auction, honestly…”

“Do I have to come to that thing?” you looked between them, your brows pulled together in an attempt to make them take pity on you but your mother tilted her head.

“Yes you do.”

“It’s just that…” you heaved a dramatic sigh, “You know, I’m going through a break up—“

“You’ve been going through a break up for more than a month now, you’re not allowed to use that as an excuse.”

“My heart is broken!”

“Good, focus on charity then.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to Nolan, “What’s the real reason she’s dragging me to this?”

“Oh no, I’m not getting caught in this crossfire.”

“Mom?”

She cleared her throat and sipped her coffee, “The other day when I visited Nolan at work, he happened to introduce me to this very handsome Chief Marketing Officer who’s handling—“

“Oh no.”

“Keep in mind that we pay him more than what FBI pays his agents.” Nolan stated, laughing up his sleeve as if he found it hilarious and you scrunched up your nose.

“Nolan, I know you were born in the eighteenth century but that’s actually not a problem we have these days.”

“He’s single,” your mother said as if she wasn’t even listening and you threw your head back, letting out a whine, “He loves dogs and squash—“

“Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not sitting at our table,” your mother said, “I fixed another surprise for you at our table, and I figured you’d want to keep your options open.”

“Besides, if your ex boyfriend is moving on…” Nolan trailed off and your mother raised her brows.

“Oh, Spencer has a girlfriend now?”

“No!” you said way too loudly and then cleared your throat, “I mean—I don’t care. But I don’t think so, I would’ve heard it.”

“See? More reason for you to meet other people.”

You pouted, “I hate this so much. I can’t believe I’m being dragged into this nonsense only because you guys are making me, this is seriously bullshit…”

“Y/N, do you want some cookies?” Nolan interrupted your grumbling, “One of my assistants brought them from France the other day.”

You scoffed, “How old do you think I—” you paused for a moment, then shrugged your shoulders, “Actually yeah, I’d love some cookies right now.”

***

Unfortunately, when you left your mother’s house you had overestimated the traffic and how long it would take you to get there so by the time you had pulled over by the road leading into the woods, you could only see one FBI car. You didn’t have to wonder who was in it when your eyes caught the sight of Spencer leaning against it and your heart skipped a beat.

“Fuck…” you murmured to yourself and considered for a short second to drive away until others got there, but it was too late. Spencer turned his head, saw your car and stopped dead on his tracks so you heaved a sigh and pushed open the door to step outside. You looked around before you pulled yourself up to sit on the hood before you fished your cigarette pack out of your purse.

“You’re early.” Spencer said and you raised your glances to look at him for a second before lighting your cigarette.

“So are you,” you put the lighter back into your purse, “Came by yourself?”

“Luke is talking with the police.”

“Lovely,” you exhaled the smoke and he crossed his arms, looking up at the sky for a moment before stealing a look at you.

You had no idea what to say to him. After that one day of truce, it was like you were back to being enemies and ignoring each other. The fact that he might have been ready to date another person made you feel even worse if it was possible, especially after that phone call between you. He had said that he was a mess just like you were, he had said you had taken a part of him when you left him, and—

You didn’t even know what you hoped for. You knew it wouldn’t change anything, and yet the thought of him being with someone else was more than enough to make you feel like you were falling off a cliff.

Maybe it was just the truce talking. Maybe he didn’t mean any of that.

Your phone vibrating in your purse made you snap out of your thoughts and you looked at the caller I.D., then frowned and answered.

“Hey, I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“On a Sunday?” Lincoln’s voice reached you, “Who’s the workaholic now?”

“Still you Linc,” you said and Spencer’s head shot up, “What’s up?”

“I just called to let you know that they just moved me to your table.”

You pulled your brows, “I’m sorry, what?”

“At the charity auction. My table was 3, they just e-mailed me to say I’ve been moved to 1.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re the surprise?” you asked, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Somebody needs to stop my mother.”

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” you said, “I…That’s great, we’ll sit together then. If you like sulking the whole night, we’ll be just fine.”

“Come on, it could be fun.”

“I doubt that.”

“Hey, at least you’re not alone.”

“I’ll drink throughout that night, you sure you can keep up?”

“Do you even know who you’re talking to, you amateur?”

“Oh it’s on.” You smiled slightly and he chuckled.

“I’ll see you at our table then. With drinks.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you said before you hung up, and put the phone back into your purse before you felt Spencer’s burning gaze on you, so you looked up at him.

“What?” you asked and he scoffed a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“Nothing.”

“Professor.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he said, his gaze fixed on the woods and you tilted your head.

“Fine.”

He sucked a breath through his clenched teeth, as if trying to decide whether to say anything or not before you could ask again, Luke approached you two, another car pulling over by your car.

“Hey there.” You greeted Luke as you jumped off the hood and he tilted his head.

“Why are you shorter?”

You motioned at your sneakers, “I figured since we’re going into the woods, heels would be a bad idea.”

“Is this the first time I’m seeing you without heels?”

“Probably.”

“Should we get going?”

JJ stole a look at Spencer and you, then turned to Luke, “Actually, do you mind coming with me to the car for a moment? There’s this file I want to get your opinion on.” She nodded at you, “You guys go ahead if you want.”

You pulled your brows together for a second, trying to understand what was happening but then decided you wouldn’t question it and stepped into the woods, a shiver running down your spine.

It looked way too familiar.

You gritted your teeth and started walking, and it didn’t take long for Spencer to catch up with you.

“So I never got to ask you,” you managed to say after almost ten minutes of complete silence, “That…that blood vial in that petal bowl, whose blood was it?”

“Anthony’s.”

“Right,” you murmured as you kept walking, “Was it….was it something my dad did back then?”

“No.” Spencer said curtly and you looked over your shoulder.

“So then what does it—“

“Are you dating other people?” the words left his lips in a hurry as if he didn’t know how to stop them and you stopped dead on your tracks.

“I beg your pardon?”

He opened his mouth for a moment like he was trying to find the right words but then he closed it and shrugged his shoulders.

“Never mind,” he murmured, walking past you and you gawked after him for a while before you rushed after him.

“No, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

Maybe your whole theory about Spencer being a genius therefore not being able to be jealous wasn’t exactly the truth.

“I’m not— is this about Lincoln?” you held up the phone in your hand before you sped up to catch up with his long strides, “There’s this stupid charity auction bullshit and we’re both attending it, that’s it.”

“Alright,” he murmured, still walking and you let out a breath.

“Spencer!”

“What?” he turned around to look at you, that fire burning in his eyes again, “I said never mind, okay?”

“I’m not dating Lincoln!” you exclaimed “And I— even if I were, at least he’s not someone I met at a nightclub my friends forced me to go, unlike some of us.”

“What does that-” he started but it hit him in a second, “Garcia told you.”

“It came up.”

He raised his brows, “Yeah? How?”

“It just did.” You managed to say even if your cheeks were burning, “So what? You’re going to stand there and ask me that when you’re moving on already?”

“I’m not moving on!” he said as if you had just insulted him, “Besides, you broke up with me remember?”

“Yeah and you wasted no time Spencer, congratulations.” You murmured as you walked past him but as soon as your eyes caught the sight of the huge cabin by the small hill, your breath got caught in your throat and you took a step back, the memory flashing through your mind so fast that the headache hit you out of nowhere.

Your father tugged you by your hand through the woods as you yawned, rubbing at your eyes.

“Are you sleepy honey?”

You nodded, looking up at him,

“Daddy I thought we were going to come here tomorrow, with mom and Mina.” you said as you hugged the huge teddy bear you had brought with you when your father had woken you up and told you that you would be taking a small trip to the cabin.

“We are,” he said, “We will go back home after our hunt is done here.”

“Yeah but mom says Mina and I can’t be outside the cabin at night,” you murmured, “The lake is too close, remember? We might fall in, she says.”

“She’s right, no leaving the cabin by yourself when it’s dark outside,” he said, “Or else no chocolate for a week, you know the rules.”

“Okay, okay…” you yawned again, and your father knelt down so that you could look him in the eye.

“Petal honey, I want you to pay attention,” he said, “Look around. Let’s say you’re in the woods by yourself and you’re hunting. You know how we hunt, right?”

You took a deep breath, “Stab the prey, twist the knife, pull it back and watch them bleed.”

“Very good,” he said, “When you’re hunting in the woods, what’s the first thing you do?”

“Look up at the sky,” you said, “That’s how I know where I am.”

“Good start. How about if your prey is running to get away from you? How do you chase them?”

“People aren’t calm when they’re being hunted,” you repeated what he had told you, “They make noises. I follow that, and wait for them to tire themselves out.”

He nodded, then you both climbed the stairs to the front door of the cabin.

“And what’s the one thing you remember?”

“To stay calm and patient.”

He smiled at you and opened the door to the cabin so that you could see the bloodied person tied to a chair, screaming through the gag.

“Good,” he said, “Let’s go over what we do with the prey, shall we?”

“Y/N!” Spencer’s voice cut through the memory, almost grabbing you and pulling you back to the reality and it was only when you realized you weren’t standing anymore, instead you were on the ground on your knees, gasping for breath.

“I can’t—“ you choked out, pressing a hand over your chest “I—I can’t breathe—“

“Yes you can,” he helped you sit and lean your back to the tree trunk, “You just need to focus on me, alright? Can you breathe with me?”

You sniffled, trying to match your breathing with his and he nodded,

“There you go,” he said with a smile, “You’re doing great. Is it okay if I touch you?”

You nodded your head, still desperate to cling to anything that would protect you from that memory and he entwined his fingers with you.

“Keep your focus on me,” he said as he wiped the teardrop off your cheek with his free hand, awakening a fire right beneath your cheekbone, “Here’s what we’re going to do, you will inhale when I squeeze your hand, exhale when I stop. Can we do that together?”

You inhaled when you felt his grip tightening around your hand, then exhaled when it became loose again.

“Y/N?”

You let out a shaky breath, “Hm?”

“Why are public proposals so bad?”

A teary laugh escaped from your lips, “Professor…”

“No, I want you to tell me,” he said as you inhaled again when he squeezed your hand, “Why are they so bad?”

“Because they—“ you exhaled, “They’re not private.”

“They could be romantic.”

“But they’re not,” you protested, “They’re not romantic. They’re pretentious.”

“Pretentious?” he squeezed your hand once more and you took another breath.

“If you need an audience for something like that, you’re pretentious yeah.” You said as the nausea slowly retreated and he pushed your hair behind your ear before his knuckles brushed over your neck, it lasted only a moment but it was enough for you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled and he offered you a small smile.

“Anytime.”

“Brings back the memories, huh?” you leaned your head back to the tree trunk and he nodded.

“Yeah,” he murmured, “Yeah it really does.”

You pressed your lips together, “Spencer, why are you helping me?” you asked him, taking him by surprise, “With….all this. I thought you hated me.”

He swallowed thickly,

“I can’t hate you,” his voice was almost a murmur, “I wish I could. Trust me, I tried.”

“Guys?” you heard Luke’s voice and you turned your head to see them approaching, “What’re you—what happened?”

“We’ll meet you there in a second,” Spencer said, shooting JJ a look and she nodded.

“Okay,” she said, “Come on Luke.”

They walked past you to the cabin and you looked up at the sky for a couple of seconds before willing yourself to focus on him again.

“You remembered something,” he said and you nodded.

“A memory,” you managed to say, “I…Spencer, there are dead bodies in there.”

“I know, we found bones in the backyard—“

“No,” you cut him off, “You don’t understand. There are dead bodies in the cabin.”

He pulled his brows together and you pulled your hand out of his before standing up on shaky legs, still holding onto the tree for support.

“Y/N, we can wait-” he said but you shook your head and made your way to the cabin until you reached the stairs. Every cell in your body was screaming at you to run away, but you managed to force yourself to climb the stone stairs and stopped for a moment at the door as Spencer stepped to stand next to you. Everything looked exactly the same as you had left them all those years ago right before your father was arrested.

A shudder went down your spine, the same as the one you had gotten when you woke up in your apartment after being drugged. Something in here was way too dangerous for you and it wouldn’t rest until you were at its mercy so you had to get away before it could dig its claws under your skin, but-

You had to do this. You could do this.

You had been through much worse than this before.

You had survived your father, you had survived his copycats, you had survived everything thrown your way so far, you could survive this as well.

You rolled your shoulders back and stepped into the huge living room, the memory pushing at your mind but you shook your head, forcing yourself to focus.

“We can leave if you want,” Spencer murmured and you dug your fingernails into your palms hard enough to hurt.

There was a reason why police couldn’t find anything in this goddamn place when they first checked. You had repressed the memory just like you had repressed the rest, and now that you were here…

The memories about the cabin were swirling in your head, each more terrifying than other.

“Luke.”

Luke turned his head, “Yeah?”

“Do you mind stepping aside for a moment?” you asked, “Actually, if no one could—if no one could stand on the rug that’d be ideal. Thanks.”

JJ shot you a look but nodded at the two other agents walking around the living room and you slowly approached the magnetic chess board by the coffee table, holding out your hand over the pieces for a second. Panic roared through you but you gritted your teeth and moved the pawn, then put the bishop where your father taught you to put it way back then.

“It’ll be like a treasure hunt, but you need to keep it a secret,” he had told you, “Pinky swear?”

You turned the queen in hand your for a moment, then put it right next to the bishop and the small basement trapdoor which was impossible to see even if someone was looking for it clicked under the rug. Spencer froze for a moment before he and Luke pulled the rug off the floor and pulled open the hatch but the smell coming from downstairs made you cover your mouth.

“Stay here,” Luke told the agents as he went downstairs and Spencer followed him right before JJ did. You stalled there for a moment, trying to repress the fear pinning you to your spot before you stepped closer to the stairs leading down to the secret basement.

“Miss—“ the agent said but you ignored him and made your way down. JJ and Spencer already had their flashlights on as Luke held his gun, ready to pull the trigger at any unexpected movement.

“You can’t be here.” Spencer told you but you weren’t even mood to snap back at him. You dragged your fingertips on the wall until you found the switch and turned the light on, the smell getting worse and worse.

There were three huge boxes by the wall, all tightly shut and you had a feeling—

No, not a feeling. What you had was a memory and you knew exactly what was in them.

Spencer turned to you, apparently ready to tell you to go upstairs again but as soon as his eyes caught something over your shoulder, he froze, his jaw clenching. You could feel your heartbeat getting faster and faster as Luke stopped dead on his tracks.

“Y/N, go upstairs.” Spencer said, his tone way too controlled until you turned your head, “No wait, don’t look—“

But it was too late. The bloodied message on the wall made you gasp as you took a step back, unable to look away as that familiar dread filled you once more, the simple line causing goosebumps to rise on your skin;

Welcome home Petal.

Chapter 21

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer #reid #spencer x reader #reid x reader #twisted

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vivgst · 6 months ago

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It's like a cold I think, I feel better now tho

do you have a way to motivate yourself? I do things faster when they are obligations, for example when I had to do homework for the university or when I was working and had a boss, now that I work for myself it is difficult for me to feel like it

Oh then it makes a lot of sense that you would prefer your room to be warm

And have you experienced winter? I guess you don't like it so much if you prefer the warmth

That's exactly what I thought lmaooo, and in fact I think he was from the last century or something like that, he's kinda old

Oh shit, really? looks like a tiger for me lol, a lion maybe idk

IKR??!!! fuck it disturbs my peace every time she's watching shit on tiktok

your mom hates headphones too? mine hates them with all her might, think her ears are sensitive

I think what I did was download a pirated version of the software, but that's my old self, my current self can barely use a phone

Ugh sameeee

I was looking at the realistic Minecraft mod a few days ago and shit… it's beautiful but I can't imagine how heavy it must be and how much it must heat up the PCs

And genshin is heavy? I don't know but because it's so pretty, I feel like it takes up a lot of space

omg i watched a couple scenes and was almost crying??? when Ellie is seeking revenge and she's trying to find Abby, i can't really watch blood it makes me feel like shit lol

ok i'll stay naive even though i'm curios bc i KNOW i'll end up crying

yeah i get u but at the same time it's like i need to know what's there, you know? I need to know what kind of demon is about to eat my soul

we're the same height!!!! i'm 5'2 too and yeah, ppl always say i'm short

It could be… there are guitars that are quite heavy and uncomfortable to use

My teacher had a very nice one, maybe the prettiest I've ever seen, but it was horrible to use, too heavy for me

@vivgst new thread <3 (I have the cut so it won't be a pain to scroll lol)

I've never watched Death Note, but I guess Ill just say L is my favorite since we share a name (technically) Honestly? my answer is simple w/ what animal Id be Almost ANY cat (not the flatfaced or folded ear ones though they can have some bad health issues :( ) Like if you're a domestic cat, you have the stuff to survive both in the wild, or in someone's house. You have super scenes of smell, night vision, claws, sharp teeth, AND probably enough smarts to not get eaten by dogs or smth. On the other hand with humans, at least 70% of the population would adore you, and maybe even take you in to pamper you. It would be very easy to get them to do your bidding since you'd be just some animal, and perhaps put above your caretaker's needs. Pets? Affection? Just act all adorable and stuff and they'll give it to you, cling on to them and they'll say they're your human now. On the other hand (or paw) there's the wild cats!! Still very cute. Still very cool. Now your defenses are upped by a ton, and people still find you cute. Though with how shitty environmental conditions are, and with the bigger cats slowly going to extinction :( , I may or may not just stick to domestic cats But hypothetically.. It would be neat to be either a snow leopard, tiger, or a jaguar. I love snow leopards for their big fluffy tails, and it would be cool to be able to roam through snow and stuff, but that seems to get a little boring from time to time. Love tigers for their stripes, I don't think they can roar..?? But that doesn't change anything. Think Tigers and Jaguars are both pretty efficient in survival, but I'd pick Jaguar just for their athletics and HUGE bite force (least from my 1st search). Or maybe, maybe not because there's an outfit/skin or two of Valeria's that are based on jaguars.. (or leopards, but ill go w/ jaguars) im obsessed w/ this woman man hdwhadwjadawnk OH ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF BIRDS??? AS FUN AS IT WOULD BE TO BE A MALE BIRD AND SHAKE YOUR COLORFUL BUM AROUND, THERE WAS A WHOLE ASS WAR W/ EMUS AND AUSTRALIA Honestly who wouldn't wanna be a relative of a dinosaur, but smaller and just as fucking scary Also for vacation.... I don't like going on vacation. I just like being in my sad little room, on the internet or drawing my ass off But, Id love to visit Japan and see their Ghibli Studio museum, it's so cool... Or even just go to a few hotels or smth here and there, I love their stellar technology, I love how everything is so cute or neat there, oh and I especially LOVE the social rules there, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart and perfectly agree with being "nice"... Like yeah sure I may not like you or the opposite, but at least we can co-exist without biting our heads off (unlike the fucking us) and japan seems open to their culture being explored by others, so I'd totally love to (respectfully) participate in some traditions here and there OR I could visit Europe. Like not even a specific country? Just Europe. Cuz the US is like really fucking big, and a country like France is apparently as big as Texas. And it would be cool to take a week trip just exploring cultures and stuff (well everything except food, I'm a terrible picky eater ugh) Vacation in the US scares me tho, I'm fine where I'm at rn Maybe id be a little open to going to canada.. but bc of how they're treating the Palestine genoside rn maybe like later in life if they redeem themselves, but like the us? Fuck them too I think crocodiles r cute, but I wouldn't wanna go near one :3 Most of my relatives are either in the Philippines or Maryland, I barely know abt them now Never thought I'd be the one to be the gay cousin, ngl

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crazy-dog-lady-81 · 2 years ago

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Let's Talk about Sex

“When did you know that you were bi-sexual?” Kai asked. It was rainy Saturday in Seattle. The Sister House was unusually quiet. Meredith had taken the kids to the movies and it was Link's weekend with Scout. The couple was cuddled up together cozily on the couch, watching Friend’s reruns and eating ice-cream.

“Wow! That’s a big question, Bartley,” Amelia smirked at Kai, a quizzical look on her face.

“You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable. I guess I’m just curious is all. I mean, I’ve always known that I am a lesbian. When my friends would stand around gossiping about the size of boys penises, I would be bored senseless. I wanted to talk about the size of girls boobs.”

Amelia chuckled. “I can relate. To both of those examples. I was one of those girls who were fixated by Penis size, naively relating its size to the boy’s ability in the bedroom. Spoiler alert: It’s not!”

That got a perfectly toothy smile from Kai. “I’ll have to take your word on it.”

“Hmmm. Well, to answer your question. When I was ten or maybe eleven, my mom took my siblings and I to Coney Island. It was a beautiful sunny day, hot and on the shore, everyone had pretty much stripped down to their swimsuits. I couldn’t help but see the girls in their bikinis, breasts barely concealed and my eyes found their way to their chests. I gotta admit, it filled me with a sort of salacious delight. It was my very own naughty secret.”

“If you knew that you had attractions to girls at that age, how come you never had a “girlfriend” before me?” Kai wondered.

“It’s not like I didn’t experiment with girls. In college, I kissed a few. Heavy petting. It was nice, good but I wasn’t into these girls enough to take it any further. So, after that, it just happened that my relationships were hetero. They were with men and involved straight sex. I got married, had Scout. Yeah, I lived a straight life I guess. To an outsiders eye at least.

“My attraction to women, to other genders didn’t stop and I didn’t repress myself in anyway. I just never met anyone I wanted to have a relationship with until you.”

She raised her hand and traced Kai’s jawline with her fingertips tenderly. They leaned into her touch, a smile lighting up their face.

“Thank you for choosing me, Shepherd.”

“I’m not sure that’s what happened. Me choosing you. I’m not sure I had a choice. To quote Jerry Maguire, you had me at hello, Bartley.”

“Me too.”

“Then the sex! Absolutely mind-blowing!! I guess nobody knows the female body better than, well, a woman. I know that’s not technically right in our case, but you’ll take my point?”

“Yeah. I get what you’re saying. I have the same anatomy and I know how to make it sing.” They winked suggestively.

“That you do! Plus, with you, sex is more intimate and erotic. Men are always in a rush to get to their happy ending. You, Bartley, make it feel special. Every time. You’re soft and sexy and handsome and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.”

Kai reached for her then. They pulled her into their arms and held her. “I love you too. So very much.” They dropped their mouth to whisper in their ear. “Now, would you like me to make your body sing?” Amelia didn’t need to be asked twice.

#amelia shepherd #amelia x kai #greys anatomy #kai bartley #amelia shepard #kai x amelia #kaimelia

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lesbianrobin · 4 years ago

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a definitive ranking of how gay each st character is, as voted by me and 104 of you guys

i’ve gone through and calculated each character’s GNC, or Gay (Not) Quotient, named as such because i set this up poorly and the higher your quotient, the less gay you are.

the GNC is calculated by finding the weighted value of each vote (a single vote for steve in 5th place, for example, gives him 5 points, while a single vote for steve in 8th place gives him 8), finding the sum of all weighted votes, and dividing by the total number of survey respondents (105) to give each character a rating somewhere along the scale of 1 to 13.

so without further ado here they are, from least to most gay (for the drama)!

13. hopper, GNC: 12.10

i don’t think anyone is surprised by this one. at least three of you indicated that you put hopper in last place specifically because he’s a c*p, which i cannot fault you for. personally, i’d put him just a couple of places higher because i think he probably had a gay experience in his youth that he didn’t NOT like and he just wrote it off as a couple of dudes being guys. he definitely isn’t a homophobe. however, i do think he’s pretty goddamn straight, so overall it’s a fair ranking.

12. lucas, GNC: 9.98

guys i’ll be honest. i was NOT expecting lucas to end up lower than DUSTIN of all people but it happened and i’m judging you all just a little bit. lucas may be straight but if he is, he’s one of those straight guys who has a huge crush on like michael b. jordan or someone, yknow? like his #mcm is actually hot and not just some weird ugly athlete. technically not an INCORRECT ranking, but he’s lower than he should be.

11. dustin, GNC: 9.91

so maybe i was a little dramatic earlier and there’s only a 0.07 point difference between lucas and dustin. what’s it to you. i think you all got this one more or less right i think dustin might be a little homophobic honestly. like he wouldn’t call you a slur out of malice but he definitely thinks they’re okay for him to say. fair ranking.

10. joyce, GNC: 9.45

honestly i don’t think there’s much to say about this one. joyce is pretty straight like yeah she wears lesbian jeans and she kinda had a mullet in s1 but they’re not aesthetic choices so much as her just being poor so :/ she’s definitely a very supportive PFLAG mom which is why i think she’s earned her ranking in the top ten.

9. nancy, GNC: 9.10

i know you r*nance warriors are to blame for this. i am not ashamed to say that i personally put nancy in dead last, as did 15 of you, and i am speaking my truth to stick up for all 15 of you because you were right, god damn it. nancy is in the young republicans and she can’t even say the words “gay” and “lesbian” she just says “like that” or “those people.” we all saw how she talked to robin that’s pure homophobia.

anyway. nancy looked kinda dykey sometimes in s1 so i’ll let it slide this time. way too gay but not an OFFENSIVELY gay ranking, i guess.

8. murray, GNC: 8.69

rest in peace to dr. alexei. rest in peace love. rest in peace babycakes. you would have loved the results of this poll saying that your little jorts-wearing loverboy is, like, medium homosexual.

six of you specifically shouted out either murrlexei or the gay little jorts in the comment section. three of you specifically said that murray is the most disgustingly heterosexual man you’ve laid eyes on (i’m paraphrasing). this man’s potential gayness is tearing our family apart.

shout-out to whoever put murray in first place. i can’t agree with you but wow do i love the confidence. i think this ranking is more or less fair.

7. mike, GNC: 6.18

this feels wrong :/ whoever put mike in last place ur sick mike did NOT put his tiny anemic little hand over will’s and say “crazy together” for that kind of disrespect. know your herstory.

anyway. unfortunately for mike, all of these bitches are very gay, and somebody’s gotta fall behind. as we all know mike has a tendency to fall behind the rest of the group because his gay little legs are useless so i suppose this shouldn’t have come as TOO much of a surprise. decent ranking.

6. jonathan, GNC: 6.12

we’re officially in the top 50% of gayness. he deserves it. have you seen the way he stands? the way he puts his gay little hands on his gay little hips? the way he appears physically ill whenever nancy so much as looks at him? the way he’s extremely passionate about being different and “not liking things because people tell you you’re supposed to?” the way he has a nice, tasteful tapestry hanging above his bed?

that is a gay little rat boy. solid ranking.

5. el, GNC: 5.94

speaking of gay little rats! we all watched season 2. we all saw the overalls. we all saw el pull that “get out of my school” shit with max. we all know the truth.

i’ll be honest, i’m a little surprised you all voted el to be gayer than mike, but i’m not displeased. i think s3 is probably what gave her the edge, considering how much time she spent holding max’s hand and sleeping in max’s bed and wearing her gay little suspenders.

all el needs is for someone to tell her that gay people exist and then she’ll not only get her powers back but become even more powerful than she’s ever been and when she goes into the void it will no longer be infinite blackness but the original rainbow road track from super mario kart for the SNES. good ranking.

4. steve, GNC: 5.67

king steve more like QUEEN steve amirite?

you guys put steve just about as high as you possibly could considering the competition. and he deserves it! he didn’t wear all of those gay little vests for nothing. i’m very impressed with everyone’s judgment on this one. excellent ranking!

3. max, GNC: 3.83

many of you expressed regret at not being able to put all of our top three at #1, and i must say that i share your sentiment. there is not a single moment in all of stranger things where max mayfield is serving anything less than 100% pure, unadulterated lesbianism. sorry lucas but you’re gonna get hit with a bathroom scene eventually, it’s only a matter of time. f’s in the chat.

anyway, absolutely immaculate ranking.

2. will, GNC: 2.34

it’s what he deserves!

king of wearing gay little wizard robes. king of being a rude little bitch when his friends get girlfriends. king of not caring when his friends get dumped by their girlfriends. king of drawing rainbow ships and standing in front of rainbow apple posters and whatnot. king of not liking girls. king of dramatically destroying the physical representation of his childhood innocence in the middle of a rainstorm. king of getting called two different homophobic slurs by his own mother immediately after being trapped in a nightmare dimension with a monster that’s trying to eat him.

will byers is all of this and more, which is why he’s absolutely earned his spot as the second gayest stranger things character.

and now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. our winner is...

1. robin, GNC: 1.30!

look, we all saw it coming but i thought she deserved the fanfare.

what is there to say about robin that hasn’t already been said? she’s sexy. she’s smart. she’s got chipped black nail polish and she wears thumb rings and men’s business casual attire with converse. she drew naked ladies and wrote “TIDDIESZ” on her shoes. she has both the desire and the ability to fuck your mom.

now that she’s been bestowed the honor of gayest stranger things character, not only will she go down on your sister, she will ALSO go down in history.

thank you all for voting!

#em talks #stranger things #stpoll

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