#i got to show my adhd on stage

[not-sure-what-im-feeling]

my god i love leaf coneybear so much. he was my into to 25th annual putnam county spelling bee and will forever hold a place in my heart. my silly boy.

[tinystepsforward]

What do you think the chances are that Mud Pit is gonna be ousted by the people who need Automattic to have good will in the eyes of the community to actually get anything out of this site and wattpad

I know it’s probably low but the fact that he’s acting like a poorer Elon Musk is making my skin crawl and making me hope that a second lawsuit hits the company

ok here's the thing. he is meant to be on sabbatical. automattic gives employees a three-month paid sabbatical every 5 years, so that they can have a break from the product they work on and come back rested and with a new perspective.

matt has never taken one before now. he spent the entire leadup to his sabbatical posting increasingly wild shit in public channels at the company (like the chess thing, or trying to get people to buy a friend's product, or the entire fracas with taking over the wordpress.org twitter account. wordpress.org is an independent non-profit that he is not the ceo of).

i mention this because people were hoping (including me) that he really would actually log off, have a chill time (or, idk, whatever kind of time CEOs who go off the grid bc they got flooded in at burning man like to have), and let the interim CEO get a chance to do a better job. that would help the board make a decision based on data.

he was very clearly spiraling before he even left, and then within the first few days of Company Sanctioned Log Off Time he's pulled multiple Classic Matt things on multiple parts of the company before showing up here. this whole thing is so deeply unfunny but it also is a bit of a tom and jerry or looney tunes bit, where i can only imagine HR or Legal is chasing him around the various accounts/platforms with a comically large inflatable baseball bat and he's just evading them.

he can't do that in person, but he still gets a lot of leeway generally. at the last division meetup (irl meeting for employees, flown from all over the world) he showed up twitchy and exhausted and hyped in a way that was very familiar to me from flatmates who used to steal and snort my adhd medication, then proceeded to drink so much over the course of an evening answering questions from his employees that he had to be firmly babysat off the stage and walked back into the lobby of the hotel to sober up.

i made eye contact with him that night, before he dropped his head back into his hands. two people relatively high up in the company were sitting with him, silently watching him as he struggled to sober up. it wasn't the first drunk shenanigan of his i witnessed at one of these, and this is purely opinion but i have to assume that his current behavior is the result of suddenly having time on his hands to have the world's longest bender and post through it.

back to your question: i do not know if what he's done is enough to get the board to remove him. i wish it didn't have to come to this to hope that they will. but we'll find out.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

TELL ME ABOUT THE MEN!!!!!!

HELLO!!!

GLADLY :DD

THE MEN. :)

They’re called shoot from the hip (sfth) and are @shootimpro on youtube, tiktok, instagram, facebook, x/twitter, Bluesky, as well as on linktree, patreon and ko-fi.

(Hi just a note that I’ve updated this post a bit :))

They’re London based but have done shows outside london like in Scotland (Edinburgh Fringe) and even to Spain. They want to hopefully go to other countries in the future too!!

From left to right they’re Sam, Tom, AJ and Luke :)))

Ok, so. They do improvised comedy and their shows have two halves (generally with a break in the middle) they play lots of short drama games in the first half and then improvise 20-30 minute (on average) plays in the second half, sometimes with another game at the end.

The plays are so much fun (they’ve got 43 of them up on youtube so far!! (< updated January 2025)) and they’ve also released three full specials (full shows) which you can find on their channel :)

For a few of the older ones (apart from the first one) they were filming on an iphone and just projecting their voices, so the the audio and image quality can be hard to deal with (but all their videos are subtitled by the AMAZING volunteer subtitlers!!!) the older videos are well worth watching, though!!!

They have SO MUCH CONTENT because during covid they did zoom-style improv shows with eachother and you can watch those as a patreon. (To find out what else you get with patreon go to my pinned post :))

They also have SO MANY VIDEOS that are just the regular public ones!!!! They upload short ones of the games and some 5-10min ones of the games too, as well as the long forms (plays)

Now some info about the guys :D

Samuel Thomas Russell-Holmes:

Birthday 21st July 1989 (35)

Married this year and expecting a baby!!! :)

wears a red flannel a LOT (less recently, but still a LOT, it’s his Thing)

he says some very risky things sometimes but also has the audacity to look shocked when the others do it lol

Fav colour is green

he’s 5”10

brown eyes

currently producing a radio show for the bbc called wing it (available in December!)

if he were a Disney Princess he said he’d be Rapunzel

VERY GOOD AT ANIMAL (specifically goat/sheep) NOISES

initiates kisses with the others a lot (all of them do but I’ve counted and he kisses Luke the most and initiates kisses with all of them the most overall) (in the videos they’ve posted at least))

great at talking in Spanish gibberish, often paired with opening his shirt buttons

loves fantasy things

interested in Greco Roman mythology

wrote an audiobook called “Evergreen”

his mother and grandfather are/were successful actors

Has a drama degree

Low spice tolerance

has eaten raw egg live on camera

likes to cook

Thomas Mayo-Woodman/Hodgson-Mayo:

HES SO TALL (this man is almost 2m tall- he’s 6”5.5 :0)

brown eyes

his birthday is 10th July 1989 (35)

Married to a drag king (@pipdream on insta, tiktok, youtube, ect.) whose pronouns are they/them (they’re an icon and we love them)

Wrote a graphic novel (it’s called Future it’s about space lesbians)

literally one of the sweetest and kindest souls on this planet I’ve never met him but every time he says anything it’s like WOW OK YOURE SO NICE AND KIND AND WONDERFUL (everything I’ve heard from people who’ve met him is SO NICE)

SO GOOD AT IMPROVISING (specifically Shakespearian-style) MONOLOGUES

his favourite colour is red

has two english degrees (very good with grammar and words)

has adhd

makes a garbled choking noise very well (you have to hear it to get what I mean I guess lol)

has eaten a teabag live on camera

He’s referred to as the “dad” of the group a bit

Very hard to make him laugh on stage (but he’s been laughing more, recently!!) and each one is treasured

He’s so kind did I mention he is so kind

lovingly called a squid or squidboi by the fandom because of one time (a few times actually) he like stuck his hands in his sleeves and was like “I’m a squid”

does a lot of admin work for sfth and handles the finances (at least he did, they might have someone for that now I’m not sure) and takes care of the patreon

Makes a lot of spreadsheets

DID I MENTION HOW NICE AND KIND HE IS

Alexander Thomas Jeremy (AJ):

Birthday on 4th November 1991 (32)

CONFUSION KING /aff (he gets confused easily but we love him for it)

He’s bald and gets made fun of for it RELENTLESSLY (again, lovingly)

Absolutely ANGELIC singing voice

Blue eyes

born in Manchester(UK) but grew up in France (fluent in French)

makes movies/short films on youtube!! He’s working on a new one now and you can find them @lofi_film25 on youtube (that’s also his film insta)

does a lot of the editing for sfth and has a lot of input into which longforms to upload apparently

he’s such a himbo (/aff)

fav colour is blue

He’s 6 foot tall

On their covid livestreams would always forget to get costuming ready “I don’t do costumes” (king <3)

his rapping is BEAUTIFUL (words that barely rhyme at all and make NO sense 😌)

He delivers GREAT one liners

so good at playing children it’s crazy

can do magnificent cartwheels and loves to jump on the others with no warning

lots of muscles but lost an arm wrestle against Tom

Thinks he can’t do an Irish accent but I think it’s pretty good

also has a drama degree

He creates such amazing characters in the longforms

this is more just my opinion but I love his laugh

VOLDEMORT IMPRESSION IS SPOT ON

Luke Christopher Manning

Birthday is the 23rd October 1989 (currently 34 about to be 35)

Hazel eyes

hes not short but he’s the short-EST, 5”7.5

gets made fun of for his height a LOT (lovingly!!)

SO good at accents

so good at playing women

also so good at playing children

such a good actor overall (the only one of them currently perusing acting I believe)

says THE MOST UNHINGED THINGS

people think he’s innocent (somehow) but he’s SO unhinged

took his pants off live on stage (wearing underwear but still lol 😭 he’s a menace)

lives in Spain with his long term girlfriend (can speak very competently in Spanish)

so much attitude in such a small guy (/aff)

sometimes compared to Macaulay Caulkin looks-wise

plays bass guitar in a band

Teaches acting (to kids??) in Spain

also has adhd

also has a drama degree

His favourite film is back to the future I’m pretty sure?

So confident in himself I aspire to be like that

people say he “doesn’t age” and looks really young but I personally think he does look his age

sometimes called “Luke Womanning” as a play on his last name because of how amazing all his female characters are

They’re all really close friends and met at uni and started doing improv around 13 years ago together! Started gaining popularity in 2022 on tiktok and are gaining more and more fans every day!

Um. Whoops I wrote a lot lol. (It totally hasn’t been an hour of me just writing this hahahaha)

anyway I love them so much :)))) (as you can probably tell)

anyway!

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON THIS ASK MEANS SO MUCH TO ME :DDDDD

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

While I don’t think the senti-kid story necessarily works if the writers wanted to keep the show focused on kids, I think it would’ve gone over a bit better if it was just Felix who was the senti, rather than also Adrien and Kagami (especially Kagami, she was a complete retcon in that regard).

Picture this:

Gabriel, Emilie, and Natalie find the Miraculous (Butterfly and Peacock) because they have an expensive hobby (archeology/collecting rare items, as wealthy people like to do), not because they need the magic at all. They just heard a rumor of an old Tibetan monastery and wanted to check it out, got lucky in finding the two jewels. The Peacock doesn’t even have to be broken.

We can keep the basics of the backstory shown in Representation- minus the detail of Adrien being made with the Peacock. Gabriel and Emilie conceive Adrien normally, but Colt and Amelie aren’t able to like in canon, so Colt has that same jealous outburst at Gabriel. Because Emilie feels bad for her sister, and Gabriel sees an opportunity to make a deal, they lend, or maybe trade, the Peacock to them to create a child. As in canon, Colt uses it, and his jealousy makes Felix a physical copy of Adrien.

Emilie gets sick for non-magical reasons. (I wouldn’t mind having her use it for funsies and not realizing it was broken, but it’s very obviously cracked, and I can’t imagine at least one of their two kwamis not giving them a warning.) As for what happens to Colt, I’m on the fence about him being alive in present times because that kind of abuse is really heavy, so maybe he just dies for unsaid reasons (though I vote Amelie poisoned him or something).

This version would allow for a really cool contrast between Adrien and Felix’s stories and characters. You have Adrien, a normal human, capable of disobedience, but who bends easily under others and is a people-pleaser. Versus Felix, a senti being magically compelled to obey orders of whoever has his amok, but fights to be free every chance he gets. That contrast would also further Felix’s frustration and jealousy of Adrien, in addition to his own father’s hatred of him and being identical to his cousin, because Felix would kill for Adrien’s free will, but he squanders it. But then there’s also the issue that he’s essentially victim blaming Adrien, not realizing that magic isn’t the only way to force obedience- not to mention ignoring the times that Adrien did stand up for himself (like running away to school). I think that would be a really great discussion of free will, how jealousy can blind you, family conflict (and resolution), and how different kinds of abuse/trauma aren’t automatically better than each other just because they’re opposites (ex: someone with heatstroke shouldn’t be jealous of someone with frostbite. Both suck.) The intensity might be worse for each circumstance (since Felix has magical abuse and physical+verbal abuse), but he would be in the wrong for saying Adrien has it easy.

(I think at this point my ADHD is over-explaining, so I’ll leave it at that lol)

Do you think a route like that would’ve improved the show at all? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

The sentiplot has many issues and one of the big ones is that it's not a great fit for a show where Marinette is the one and only main character. They've given Kagami, Felix, and Adrien this massive weight that begs for them to take center stage for at least a few episodes, but probably a whole season or two. The show isn't going to do that, so it's near impossible to really fix the sentiplot without truly massive changes to canon.

That being said, I think that this idea would have vastly improved the sentiplot in its current form! Right now, the senti thing truly doesn't matter to Adrien's character. His mom could have gotten sick for any random reason and the only meaningful change would be that Gabriel couldn't use the rings to keep Adrienette from kissing that one time. Outside of that, Adrien's status has no meaningful effect on the story. It doesn't even keep him out of the final! He does that on his own! The senti thing is just there for cheap drama.

There's also the issue that the current storyline makes the Agreste's look awful which is clearly not the story's goal. Emilie is supposed to be an angel and Gabriel is supposed to be a grief-stricken man who loves his family. That doesn't fit with the kind of monsters who would make a magical designer slave to be their child and then wear his control rings around as daily accessories. Remember, they picked their freaking wedding rings for his slave collars! Most people wear those every day. The implications are nasty!

It makes way more sense for the Agreste's to have the peacock for more mundane reasons and for Colt to get it somehow. Maybe even have him steal it after he finds out about it to really remove the Ageste's from the perfect slave child issue. This allows for the contrast between Gabriel and Colt that canon so clearly wanted, but failed to write. It also makes Felix's actions towards Adrien make way more sense. It feels like canon Felix hates Adrien and we still don't know why that is.

As nebulous as Felix's character is, he still feels like the kind of character who needs to be tied to something like the sentiplot. It's part of the reason I don't think I can use him in my own stuff. The sentiplot is - or at least should be - such a major, defining thing for him that the only possible way to use him is to keep that plot or to give him a plot about freeing the Kwamis since they're also slaves and his abusive childhood could make him feel a bond with them.

Focusing the sentistruggle on Felix instead of spreading it out to include Adrien and Kagami would also keep the sentistuff from dominating the story. Making the male romantic lead an artificial being without true free will whose creation killed his mother is a massive thing that needs to be the focus of his character for the rest of the story. People are on the edge of their seats waiting for Adrien to learn the truth and want this to be a big plot. I do not think they're going to get that, but they should.

Having a side character be the artificial human allows this to be something that is dealt with and then Felix either leaves or fades into the background once his story is over because his story allowed to have an ending whenever they want it to. That's not true for Adrien. Adrien's ending is happily every after with Marinette and the sentiplot needlessly complicates that plan because it means that Adrien's character is always going to be center stage, making people want the sentiplot to mean something since it's apparently impossible for him to ever be a real boy who has true free will. That's such a massive thing that it begs for Adrien to be the main character, which is an asinine writing choice. I have no idea why they keep giving Adrien all this massive narrative weight. You don't do that if you want the female romantic lead to be the main focus! You do it if you want them to be true costars or if you want the male lead to get the majority of the focus. This is writing 101!

As you said at the top, I'm not sure how well this works for a show aimed at five-year-olds because it's still a pretty heavy stuff, but as a general idea, I'd be down to watch it! I didn't have a ton to add to this one because your pitch was already excellent!

[justonemorechapternicercy]

Watched Hadestown. Had some Hadercy thoughts.

“That's fucked up,” Percy murmured as the last note of the Hey, Little Songbird trailed off.

A scoff came from his side, and a deep voice replied, “Well, it's Hades, isn't it?”

And that was just it.

It wasn't Hades. Not the Hades Percy knew. It is the Hades everybody believed him to be; cruel and cold, unfeeling and malicious. It was the Hades Camp Half-blood tried to turn him against; the one Chiron was adamant to be the one behind the stolen lightning bolt. The one nobody trusted in.

Not the one Percy got to know.

“No,” he whispered, eyes never leaving the stage. It was a captivating play - he’d never really been to theater before -, and the story was something he love-hated. Still, it made him so mad to see Hades portrayed like this.

“No?” Asked the person sitting next to him in a surprised tone. Percy didn't reply - it would have been rude. The play was still going on, after all.

-

The intermission came as a surprise. He was captivated; the songs were beautiful, the music something he didn't really experience before. Everybody had been so quick to dismiss his interest in the show, thinking that theater was too good for him, but if all musicals were like that, he wouldn't mind visiting other plays as well. It was not the best going to places alone, but maybe he could take Estelle with him, sometimes. She would probably love it - and she deserved a better childhood than his was.

“Well, Little Songbird, what did you mean by no?” His neighbor’s words brought him back from his thoughts. He blinked, looking back to the person next to him, and.

Well.

Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't stupid. Oblivious, maybe. Scattered brained, definitely - he had ADHD for fuck's sake. But stupid? No.

So, when he saw the gorgeous guy next to him, he knew that it was a god. Not because he was unfairly handsome, but because gods who tried to blend in humans tended to still stand out - in Percy's opinion at least. He didn't know who he was, but that guy was definitely a god. And a god, who tried to trash talk about Hades in front of Percy.

He narrowed his eyes, and said, “What? Do you have problems with understanding a simple word? It means that I disagreed with your statement. I understand that it might come as a surprise, but keep up.”

The god looked surprised, then laughed. It was a good look on him, Percy noted distantly.

“Little Songbird got a sharp tongue, I see. So, if you are so opinionated, what’s your opinion on Hades?” asked with a calculating look.

Percy had no trouble with putting gods in their places. So, he started, “Well, first of all, he is portrayed as a villain everywhere. But like, for what the fuck? He is the Lord of the Underworld, not Death. He does not decide who dies and who lives, he just rules over them. And I would also be pissed off if my realm would be overcrowded. He did not kidnap Persephone without consent. He is not cruel, not compared to basically any other god. And-”

Before he could finish his tirade, he was pulled out of his chair, onto the lap of the god. Who was-

Oh, of course. He wasn't even surprised.

“If you don't want me to kiss you, tell me. Otherwise, you will experience what it is to be kidnapped with consent at first hand.”

“Not before the end of the play,” Percy huffed, pulling away from the tempting embrace. He wanted to enjoy his first time at the theater at its fullest, damnit!

A pause, then, “After the play, then.”

It sounded like a threat.

For Percy, it was a promise.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

I saw TUTS Newsies last night and here are some little things I noticed and also thoughts and opinions because I have them!

The *second* the actor stepped on stage, @jlmjlmjlm leans over to me and says “He is SO Davey” and I 1000% agree. Costume, acting, the way he held himself? Perfection. THE Davey of all time

((Davey was the show stealer for me honestly. He was so fucking good. Put his whole Davussy into everything. Probably the best tenor in the show and also a great dancer))

PULITZER HAS A RUSSAIN/EUROPEAN ACCENT??

In the first circulation gate scene where Davey is introduced, Race sits on a stack of newspapers and continuously drums on them, kind of in his own little world, incredible ADHD coded

In the transition after the “That’s disgusting/that’s business” scene, Les spits on his hand and shoves it in Davey’s face. Davey moves out of the was but cracks the fuck up. It’s so siblings and so damn cute

Davey tries to follow Jack when he goes up to the box to speak with Katherine, but Jack stops him

The scene before TWWK shows Davey as MUCH more conflicted than livesies. He’s not standing with the newsies, he’s in the middle of the stage and keeps looking back between the circulation gate and them and finally goes with the newsies to strike and it’s SO GOOD

Honestly this whole scene Davey is SUCH A FUCKING LEADER and it’s amazing! Not only Jack, but the rest of the newsies keep looking for to him for guidance on the strike and it’s very funny but also so good. I think this might be my favorite Davey yet.

In the Seize the Day fight scene, one of the goons picks up Les and Davey and a few other newsies go to help him and then use him as a battering ram

“The woild is… *dramatic pause, looks off into distance* ya erster!” “Ya what?” 😒 “*redoes dramatic pause* Ya erster!”

No tap break for KONY :(

But Katherine and Davey are BESTIESSSSS! She stands on the table and says “Alright Davey!”

Davey also ate during this dance scene and left not a single crumb

“Is that a real place? Is that—”*Davey takes off his hat and holds it to his heart and looks up to the sky like he’s swooning* “Santa Fe?”

The way they hid Katherine from Jack in Pulitzer’s office was SO FUCKING FUNNY. Pulitzer tells her to sit before Jack comes in and she does, but as soon as the door opens she makes the shrek meme face and spins the chair around and slides her back down the chair to hide and it was SO GOOD that actress was so fantastic!

When Davey is speaking at the rally before Jack gets there, one of the newsies shouts “YOU TELL EM DAVEY!” And it’s very cute and funny, these newsies looooove Davey

Oh my god the POST RALLY TRANSITION??? Is fucking amazing. Jack takes the money off to the side and disappears. Spotlight on Davey and the Manhattan newsies all forming a line on the apron. They all start looking for Jack, calling for him and no one can find him so they all look to DAVEY and start crowding him like “what do we do?” And Davey has no idea what to do, gets overwhelmed and runs offstage, all of the newsies following him

Before Once And For All, Katherine and Davey have an off to the side moment and give each other little hi-fives

*thick Russian accent* “It’s a compromise we can all live with”

“What’s Santa Fe got that New York ain’t? Sandstorms?”

When Jack and Katherine kiss at the very end of the show, all the newsies lose their shit and Davey is the ONLY one who doesn’t clap for them akdhsjsj

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised with and looooved how Davey-centric it was! One of my favorite Davey’s ever. He and Kath totally stole the show. Great experience and probably the best birthday present ever in the history 💞💞

[morganbritton132]

I love that Eddie is a craft guy! It just makes so much sense. Do you think he's one of those people who is CONSTANTLY doing a new craft and their house is just littered with Eddie's crafts, and he's always making little hand made gifts for Steve, the party and the band? I can totally imagine Steve coming home and the house just being in total disarray and Eddie's just like "I made a bird table and i personalised all your coffee cups :))"

Eddie Munson and the ADHD urge to start a new project before you finished the last one.

Despite Eddie’s big personality and the joy he gets galivanting across cafeteria tables and award show stages, he is very much a homebody. His favorite places growing up was his bedroom, Gareth’s garage, and the drama room where he hosted D&D. Then he went on tour and when the shows were over, he just wanted to be home.

He liked being able to strip away the Eddie Munson persona, sit down, and channel all the ideas in his head into a creative output.

Honestly, making money just made it worse. He can afford shit now.

Steve’s the opposite though.

Steve likes to be out of the house. He was a kid that lived in a big house with parents that never wanted to see or hear him, sometimes year-round sports were the only thing keeping him sane. Once Eddie made it big and was touring, Steve was once again alone in a big empty house and so he found things to do.

He meets up with Robin at least once a week to get dinner and drinks, and sometimes they go dancing or they sing karaoke. Him and Dustin meet up semi-regularly to catch up. He was a part of their neighborhood walking group before Diane annoyed him out of it. He goes bowling with some teachers from work occasionally and takes a pottery class that he sucks at. Him and Max are a part of a trivia team that has only ever succeeded at being the drunkest team in the game.

So, the combination of ‘Steve is 90% of my impulse control and he’s not here right now’ and ‘If I don’t create something, I will die’ means that sometimes Steve comes home to a new windchime or a questionably made bird house.

 Sometimes he comes home to Eddie embroidering one of his jackets by hand even though he bought an embroidery machine that he has never used. Other times, he comes home and Eddie has carved every bar of soap they had into a little fucked-up guy or he found a recorder and wants to play Steve a song.

Or sometimes, Steve returns home from the cooking class he’s taking at their local community center to beads. Beads everywhere.

Beads in the carpet. Beads on the hardwood. Beads in their shoes by the stairs. Beads everywhere.

Steve – who is pretty Type-A about their house being clean and organized because he has a shit memory and needs to be able to find things – very calmly sits aside the ravioli that he made and says, “Eddie, what the fuck?”

“I dropped them.”

Steve makes a gesture like ‘yeah, no shit��� and then just makes a distressed noise, but Eddie waves him off as he dumps a handful of beads into the good punch bowl that they use for parties, “Don’t blame me. Your cat tripped me. I nearly brained myself.”

“She’s only my cat when she’s bad,” Steve sighs, sitting down to help pick the beads up. “Why do you have beads anyways? Since when do we have beads?”

“Do you remember those beaded lizard keychains?” Eddie asks, and then when all he got was silence. “I’m going to make you one…after we pick up two thousand pony beads.”

Steve makes another noise that’s somewhere between ‘you’re causing me actual pain’ and ‘I love you so much it makes me stupid’ and Eddie grins at him. He gestures to the punch bowl and says, “Stevie, think about it. Once we fill this bad boy up, we can separate the beads by color. That’ll be fun, right?”

“…Yeah, I’d actually really like that.”

[comicaurora]

Hello! I wanted to send my appreciation to you as a longtime fan of OSP and Auroura! I am an English Major with ADHD and your content always makes me inspired and my English Lit. Brain very happy with how good your storytelling is.

My question is what stories inspire you to write or make you want to sit down and tell a story? Your content makes me want to work on my projects, but my Adhd only last as long as I am not disturbed (i.e. need to eat or get up and move). You have always been upfront about your Adhd so my second question is how do you keep focused on your story and not burn out? (Talking as someone who is writing a novel as their thesis)

You have been a great inspiration over the years and someone I look up to as a storyteller! I wish you focus and luck! => 💝

Woo! Interesting questions!

When it comes to inspiration, I haven't really found a pattern for what works and what doesn't. The majority of the time, only new experiences/stories I haven't seen or read before work for me - rewatches and re-reads, while much more comfortable for my brain, don't tend to translate into creative inspiration for me - but it's not like a specific genre, or even a specific kind of relaxation, consistently work for me.

The way my brain works is a bit "no take only throw", as it were. I want to just sit down and make solid, steady progress in a predictable environment with a routine, but what I need is to try new things, go outside, take risks - because all those things give me new material to work with and refill the creative gas tank. When I'm stuck, I can't just hit the gas and punch through the block - I need to back up and try a new angle.

The good part of all this is that whatever engine that's running my subconscious is actually pretty good at signaling what it needs. The ADHD brain will be repelled by activities that aren't working for it and drawn to the things it needs at the time, whether that's creative energy or exercise or cleaning or doodling or listening to music or suddenly binge-watching a show that's not even all that great, and once it's got what it needs out of it - whatever that is - it'll be repelled again, either spitting out a sudden burst of creative energy or retreating to its den to chew on whatever it got out of the experience for a more slow-building reward. Little bursts of motivation and creativity pop up all throughout the day, and if you can pivot to the activity in question - or at least note down the idea you just had - you'll be able to harness that pretty nicely.

This "system" really only works for me because I have an extremely unstructured schedule and nobody relying on me to be consistent moment-to-moment. If I'm following the creative needs of my inscrutable Better Writer In The Back Of My Head, I can't be worrying about things like a consistent lunchtime or classes or a 9-to-5. All of my observations are caveat'd by the fact that I am ridiculously lucky to have the kind of freedom of movement and schedule that I can focus entirely on getting to know my brain better.

When it comes to staying focused on any one project, I've reluctantly concluded that the only way to win is not to play. Creativity needs time and diversity to recharge, and when you stall out in any given work session, it's usually because you're out of gas. This is why I maintain several projects in varying stages of "for my eyes only"-ness - a sketchbook, private writing projects, patreon doodles, music practice; even in the large-scale projects like the channel and the comic I have multiple angles of attack at any given time, where I can as needed switch between scripting, research, drawing frames, storyboarding more plot onto the end of the comic's current draft and lining/coloring/background-ing the finalized pages of the comic chapters earlier. This lets me maintain semi-steady progress on average, even if any one facet of the process is left by the wayside for potentially even weeks at a time.

If you're working on one writing project, one novel, I'd recommend giving yourself some time to do small-scale side-hobbies. It won't feel like they're helping, but they are.

I've started to think of inspiration rather similarly to the way I think about nutrition and digestion. It's a somewhat arcane process that, despite being a part of me, I don't exactly understand what's going on under the hood. If you eat only one thing, no matter what that one thing is, you're going to end up sick because you're lacking all sorts of niche micronutrients. If you parcel out a specific space of the only things you're allowed to eat, you might not get sick (as quickly) but you're likely going to become increasingly miserable as you think of the things you're not allowing yourself to try, or slowly build up highly specific forms of malnourishment by avoiding certain things entirely. But if you start listening to your body and try eating what it says it needs at any given time - oh, I could go for a rice bowl right now, oh I don't think I'm feeling something sugary today, man I could really go for some grapes - you're likely to hit a broadly good balance of health because you're hitting a broad range of things your body needs, even if you don't know all of their names or calorie counts, and your body is putting those resources to good use without your conscious input. Between my brain and my stomach, I only trust one of those to actually understand what a stomach needs to do its thing - and between me and my creative brain, most of the time it feels like I just work here.

I hope there was something helpful in all this!

[lutawolf]

My Personal Weatherman and the D/s element Ep 4

If you haven't read the others, they can be found here.

Ahhh, nothing gets me going like a sub wearing what their Dom picked out. That subtle ownership. Why yes, I do pick out all my husband's clothes except the dreaded work clothes. I refuse to take the blame for those tacky things.

Right off, we can easily see that this is not an M/s situation. The fact that Segasaki is asking Yoh what he wants to do, tells us exactly what we need to know. Yoh is explaining what he is going to do. That is not something a slave would ever even think to do. We can easily tell that he is a subby sub though, cause when Segasaki brings out the Dom, Yoh eases back.

OMG, that chin grab! @bl-bam-beyond pretty please gif that chin grab.

That chin grab with the "No." Ugh, how all my lovely subs doing? Are you still here? Have you been able to finish the show? Or are you stuck here on rewind?

Yoh actually questions Segasaki as to why not. Anybody still thinking Yoh a slave? Cause not to be rude, I can't fix stupid. This boy, a brat. Fuck, this whole scene is really showcasing their dynamic. "But we made a promise." "Tell her that you can't go anymore. Do it. Do you even know why you are in this house." And once again, we're back at the misunderstanding stage.

A fangirl, I see. OMG, this is adorable. Yoh is like, sure. Let's look at the tie of my Dom, bestie.

Yoh calling with Segasaki standing over him. This episode is killing me in the best possible way. Don't revive me! (No! I have not taken my ADHD meds, don't judge me!) "I was ordered to stay home." Hahahaha! Then the ahhhh, after he tells her that he will make it up to her. Letting you know he was likely just punished by Segasaki. Yes, my mind went here.

Then the reward of the head pat, "you did good."

She showed up to check on him! Woot! Haha, she is about to find out who is boyfriend is. Hahaha. I'm dying. Meanwhile, his boyfriend is like, "guess it's time for a face off." Ya'll I'm not okay. I'm laughing so hard.

And Yoho stepped over a line and got put in his place. But he is too busy having a crisis to care! 🤣🤣🤣 Her face is my favorite.

That effortless lie. He wasn't feeling well. Uh huh. I love these two dumbass friends. I need sake too!!! I'm dying. Shit, I can't breathe through the laughter.

Now it's Yoh's turn to be jealous. Ahh, he got drunk and fell asleep on the floor. The places we find comfortable when we are drunk.

Nope, he doesn't want to go to the bed. I love the outer dialogue we are getting. I really enjoy that we get Yoh's side of things and from his perspective, but this rounds it out a bit for me.

And look at that beautiful smile when Segasaki finds out she's married. "Are you in your rebellious phase." Does this sound familiar to certain people whom I will not mention by name!?! Hmmm! Brats! Stop breaking my heart! Make him stop Segasaki, make him stop!

Fuck, I love these two so much. Everything he is describing is very much a Brat Tamer. Bossy but gentle. Controlling but caring. Charming and unreasonable. Brat Tamer.

The way his squishes Yoh's face! Ahhh, these two are gonna kill me!

"It would be nice if you stayed drunk forever." Because of the honesty. Segasaki likes Yoh's quirks, but he also wants the honesty and the connection.

I need the curry story now! But apparently, I must wait. Heavy sigh.

Hope you guys enjoyed this! Let me know in the tags if you did. 💜💜💜 See you next time.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Morning after

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 10

Prompt: First time

Rated: E

CW: Alcohol; Dirty talk; Sexually explicit language; Nudity; One slight mention of BDSM

Tags: Established relationship; Tongue fucking (referenced); Service mouth Steve Harrington; ADHD disaster Eddie Munson; Idiots in love

Eddie wakes to sunlight tickling his nose, limbs heavy with the warm weight of sleep - the kind induced by alcohol and exhaustion.

Memories of last night's gig trickle into his mind. The packed location. Strobing lights, bodies moving to their music. Steve beaming up at him from the front row, deliciously disheveled, eyes sparkling with adoration.

It's funny. A year ago, he was hiding from an angry mob in a dilapidated boat house. Now, one interdimensional war, a near-death experience, and a lot of hush money later, not only is Corroded Coffin finally taking off. He also got himself a hot sweetheart of a boyfriend who loves tagging along to his shows and gets ridiculously turned on by his stage performance. Life is finally looking good for Eddie Munson. 

Until he turns and finds himself at the receiving end of a death glare that would even have Vecna quake in his non-existent boots. 

Eddie yelps and tries to jump to his feet, but last night's leather pants are bunched around his ankles for some reason, so he ends up face-first on the carpet, naked ass exposed to the cool morning air. 

"Ow, son of a- Stevie?" he mutters. "Everything okay?" 

Steve is still in the chair next to the bed. He's still glaring. 

"Oh, wow," he says while Eddie scrambles to his knees and tries to inconspicuously shrug out of the pants. Why do these motherfuckers have to be so tight? "You actually need to ask after what you did?" 

Eddie blinks. His nose is stinging from where it hit the carpet. 

Steve huffs and snaps his magazine shut. Eddie has a sneaking suspicion he picked it up purely for dramatic effect. 

"So you don't even remember, huh?" 

"I, erm …" Eddie says, desperately rifling through his brain for a shred of a clue. "I'm sorry, I don't-"

Steve throws the magazine. It hits the carpet with a less-than-impressive flop but it's the gesture that counts, Eddie guesses. 

"I can't believe you," Steve seethes. The chair topples as he jumps up.

"Wait, wait, wait," Eddie holds out one imploring hand. Steve stops halfway to the door and regards him with a wary look. "Lemme just …" 

He screws his eyes shut, wills himself to pull images from the blur that is his memory. 

Getting crushed in a full-body hug the moment they got off stage, Steve's arms and warmth and scent all around him. 

Celebrating the successful gig, the lingering touches and looks and smiles.

Loading the equipment into the cars, saying goodnight to the guys. 

Getting slammed against the side of the van, Steve's hands under his shirt, against the curve of his ass. Steve's tongue licking over his lips, warm and wet and eager. 

"Woah, big boy. Maybe ask before you shove that tongue down my throat?" 

Steve's smug smile as he leaned closer, voice husky and low. 

"Let's get you home… and I'll shove it somewhere else." 

Throwing himself into the car, because hoooly shit! They've tried a lot of stuff in the months they've been together, all of it great, all of it mind-blowing in fact. Eddie’s had plenty of opportunity to witness that skilled tongue at work, but this? This was gonna be a first.

He remembers nearly vibrating out of his own skin on the way home, remembers grinning like a maniac as they pulled into the driveway, Steve's hand sliding up his thigh. 

Remembers tumbling into the bedroom in a flurry of limbs and moans and kisses, toppling onto the bed, hands tearing at clothes, teeth scraping over skin …

… only then, it gets decidedly more fuzzy. 

"Um, I-" he mutters. "We were … You were gonna … and I-" 

"You fell asleep, you fucking asshat!" Steve blurts. His face is doing that thing where he loses control of his bottom lip and it gets all pouty and quivery. An adorable, flustered blush is creeping out of his shirt collar and up his jaw. "You fucking fell asleep while I was about to- Jesus Christ, I don't believe this. This has never- why are you laughing?" 

"Baby," Eddie wheezes, and by some miracle manages to stagger to his feet and shuck off his pants. "Stevie. Darling. Light of my life. You realize that this is our first fight?" 

Steve scowls at him. "Maybe. So?" 

Eddie can't help it, he breaks into laughter - full-blown, body-wrecking guffaws. "And it's because you didn't get to eat me out? Oh my God, I can't- only you, sweetheart!" 

"Fuck off," Steve grouses, but he doesn’t pull away when Eddie reaches for his hands, and the corners of his mouth are twitching the tiniest bit. The blush has reached his cheekbones. "Do you have any- I was down there, all ready to go and you started snoring! Nobody has ever fucking fallen asleep on me!" 

He's looking positively mortified now, one hand freeing itself from Eddie’s grip to run through his hair, eyes wide and confused - like a scolded puppy that doesn't understand what it did wrong. 

"Aw, honey," Eddie coos, cradles Steve's face in one hand, slots their bodies closer. He's still very much naked from the waist down and he can pinpoint the exact moment this dawns on Steve. The way he licks his lips. "I'm sorry. That gig was a lot, and I guess I just … crashed? You just make me feel so warm and safe and cared for." 

Steve hums reluctantly, but his chest swells with the praise and he doesn't protest when Eddie slots himself into his arms, starts to slowly undo his belt buckle. 

"How about you take revenge on me now? We've got all day, so … you can go for however long you want. I won't complain, and if I do … you know where we keep the gag, huh?" 

Steve's pupils blow wide.

The rest of the morning passes in a haze, but sleep has nothing to do with it. 

All my holiday drabbles

[crazylittlejester]

I found a video that reminded me of modern War and it made me think

Do you think War just, randomly dances at times. Like, the kitchen timers going off? Sick beat, dance time. Fire alarm? Even better. Elevator music? A jam.

They've started testing what the funniest thing they can do to make War start dancing

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA14QvHS1Cf/?igsh=OWU1bmMwdXF1MDh2

IM CRYIN THAT GUY ABSOLUTELY ATE THAT UP IN THAT VID HOLY SHIT

Wars absolutely will just randomly start dancing. if its to something like the microwave going off then he’d recreate that one freestyle dance teacher vine and Twi is absolutely joining him akjshkjshjksj or he and sky or twi will, what they call, “Quietly Breakdance” to a reminder alarm to take meds, and they don’t stop until the person who’s alarm went off does. if he has more space and is like, outside or something, and the opportunity presents itself and he decides to do it for the bit he’ll go nuts and make sky help him film a tiktok and he’ll have the same energy as the guy in that vid you sent. just because he thinks itd be funny. i’d say that he’s fun at parties but oh my god he has NO time to go, plus i think he’d get a bit overwhelmed, so i’ll say he’s fun during tech weeks and during that break between performances where theres two shows on saturday and everyone just kinda hangs out on the stage because the theater is closed to guests for a little bit. the vibes are always fantastic, last show i did my sister and her friend recreated a scene from high school musical and i moved a spot light on them literally just for the sake of it aljshkish

he’s definitely got unmedicated ADHD but it’s fine he has an outlet for his energy. he puts 100% into everything does (this poor mf is immune to caffeine so he’s running on a fucking prayer and a protein bar)

most of his experience is in ballet which his mother had him doing since he was 3 (and he has not quit that ever, so he’s been doing that for like 17 years) so if he’s going to randomly dance because he gets the Urge to and not because he just thinks it’d be funny 7/10 times its some kind of spin and he Will end up falling because either he slipped on the wood floor in his socks or it’s the classic “full grown adult with long legs vs tiny ass apartment” and he kicks something and knocks himself off balance. you’d think as a professional he would know you should never dance in your house like that because you’ll hurt yourself, but no he’ll never learn. their downstairs neighbors hate him (the downstairs neighbors are legend and hyrule)

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter 10

chapter warnings: smut! oral, m receiving and brief f masturbation

team noah nation... how are feeling right now?? this was quite a short chapter so i've also combined the next one with it so that one might also be a bit short too but i did what i had to do! and i also wanted to thank you for all the love on this story!! it makes me so happy that even with my adhd brain that makes me to struggle writing long fics people are still enjoying it! <3

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

When you were certainly sure Motionless in White were on stage, you rushed out of the bathroom, collecting your camera and making your way to the main stage, only to find Bryan was already out there. The two of you agreed to swap for tonight, he'd be on stage for Motionless, and you could shoot for Bad Omens tonight, which excited you to say the least. You hadn't really seen them on stage before, not in person, so you couldn't wait to see what they had planned tonight, and if they were really as good as Noah likes to brag about.

But they certainly put on one hell of a show tonight. You obviously couldn't help but get a few too may pictures of Noah, but you got some cool ones of the other guys too. You took some of Nicholas from below the stage, the angle and the lighting making him look heaven sent, you got some of Jolly from the side and some facing the crowd, trying to get one at the right timing where his hair wasn't hanging over his face, then of course you got plenty of Folio. In one of them his hair looked sick, you captured the perfect moment where he was throwing his head back, you couldn't wait to show them all what you had taken tonight.

As they start to play their final song, Just Pretend, you hear the crowd go wild, and you stop to get a picture of a group of fans by the barricade. As you turn back to the stage and look up, you see Ricky walking on with his guitar giving a wave to the crowd with his pick between his lips, you smile at him and hold your camera back up. You can tell he’s pretty nervous, you overheard him talking this morning about worrying about forgetting the words to a song, and you assumed he meant this one. 

"You might know my friend Ricky Olson here from Motionless in White," Noah says as the guys begin playing, and the crowd screams in excitement, shock, disbelief, you name it, "We thought it would be cool for him to join us tonight, and if he forgets the words I'm sure you guys will help him out... This is Just Pretend."

"I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins..." Noah began to sing, you were always blown away by his voice. He'd come so far over the years, to say you were proud of him was an understatement, and you wished he could see himself the way you do, without the judgement or the criticism, just adoration. He was amazing.

As they were about a minute into the song, Ricky approached the mic stand that Jolly would usually stand by, a smile on his face as his vocals blended into the song.

“I know the pain,” Noah sang, “that you hide behind the smile on your face.��� Ricky joined in. “And not a day goes by where I don’t think I feel the same.” 

They really sounded amazing together as they continued to sing, and you made sure to get some pictures from different angles, rushing from below the stage back up to the side of the stage. You noticed how it almost seemed like Ricky was filling in for Jolly, who you heard before the show had lost his voice.

“We’ll try again, when we’re not so different,” you looked up as you put your camera down and happened to catch Vin’s eye, you didn't even realise he was there, standing at the other side of the stage, clearly there to watch his best friend, “We will make amends, ‘til then we’ll just pretend... Everybody make some noise for Ricky Hor- Olson!” Noah called out to the crowd, grinning as he pulled him in for a hug as the crowd cheered. 

“Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning,” Ricky sang by himself as Noah paced the stage, “Way down, would you say I’m worthy?”

“I can wait for you at the bottom, I can stay away if you want me to, I can wait for years if I gotta, heaven knows I ain’t getting over you.”

"We are Bad Omens," Noah smiled, "Thank you for being here, we'll see you again."

"Way down on me," Ricky sang, "Stay 'til morning, way down... Would you say I'm worthy?"

You couldn’t believe you got to witness this, and as the song finished, you found yourself with a tear rolling down your cheek once again.

They didn't do their encore for this show, so you expected some fans would be disappointed not to see them perform dethrone, but there were fights happening in the pit during bad decisions- of all songs- causing the guys to stop playing which lead to them eventually running out of time.

When the show had finished, everybody was backstage getting all their things together. Some of the Motionless guys went out to greet fans waiting near the buses, taking pictures and signing things, whilst the Bad Omens guys started to load up their vans with their merch and equipment. 

“I can’t explain how that last song made me feel,” you said, talking with Ricky as he got all his camera equipment together, “I don’t know whose idea it was for you to join in but that was amazing. You’re a great singer Rick!” 

“Thanks, I’ve actually been doing vocals for Motionless for a while now, Chris was going to go out tonight but then we changed plans last minute.” 

“Oh yeah, I think I remember the guys discussing this before we left. You’d make a great frontman y'know.” You smiled, spotting Vinny walk back in the room, looking down at his phone.

“I was for the first band I was in, but that didn’t last long.” He chuckled. 

“Why? What happened?” 

“Let’s just say they didn’t like my style.” He said, not wanting to elaborate more. 

“But look where you are now, Rick,” you smiled, “Bigger and better than any of them, I bet.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, his cheeks going a little pink, “Thanks.” 

Rick told you how he was going out to talk to Chris about something, so you took this as your opportunity to pee before getting on the bus for the night. You walked out towards the bathrooms, but you felt as if someone was following you, and as you turned around you were met with a rather pissed off looking Vinny. 

“What the fuck are you playing at, y/n?”

“What do you mean?” You questioned, wondering what you had done.

“Ignoring me all day, kissing Noah and flirting with my best fucking friend. What the fuck is this about?”

“I wasn't flirting with Ricky. Anyway you were the one ignoring me! I was honest with you, Vin, you were the one who told me you couldn’t do it. I told you I can’t do anything serious right now and you told me you couldn’t do anything casual, so sorry for respecting your wishes.” You frowned, shrugging.

“So you thought you'd avoid me all day? Ignore me? Kiss Noah right in front of my fucking face?" He spat, "You could have taken my feelings into consideration, and not try to make me feel bad about my decision. I told you how I felt about you, and you basically told me you loved Noah. You’ve gotta understand I don’t want to feel like I’m sharing you with him, I'm at a time in my life now where I've been doing just that for years and I'm tired of it.” 

“Vin, I never said I loved-”

“That’s what you implied! You couldn’t see us going anywhere because of your feelings for him! Don't you see how this would make me feel? Or do you just think about yourself all the time?”

"No, Vin..." You frowned. He was right. You weren’t doing it intentionally, but you were hurting him. He noticed your sudden realisation as he nodded his head. 

“Yeah.” He huffed, “I hope you realise what you’re doing.”

“Vinny I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t bother, it’s already happened. I think it’s best if we keep our distance for a while, okay?” He says, running his fingers through his hair.

You feel your eyes filling with tears again, but you hold it back, nodding your head as you reply.

“Okay.” 

"Look, I'm sorry too. I just don't want any bad blood, y/n. Not when we've gotta spend three months together." He smiled softly, "Anyway we better get back to the buses.” He motioned his head to the exit, and you followed him out.

It had been an intense and emotional day for you, so it didn’t come as a surprise when you fell asleep on Noah’s shoulder on the bus. When you were halfway to your next venue, both buses stopped so the guys could get off. 

“Y/n?” Noah gently shook you, “We’ve stopped for a bit, wanna get off and chat with the guys?”

“Sure.” You yawned, “What’s the time?”

“Almost 1am, you don’t have to come with me, you can go back to your bunk.”

“No, I’ll follow you.” You smiled as he held his hand out for you to get up. 

You stood resting your head slightly on Noah’s shoulder as the guys talked about whatever they were talking about, you were too busy watching Vinny from the corner of your eye again, you assumed he was texting somebody when he wasn't sending evil glares your way.

“Guys, when's our next day off?” Vinny asked. 

“Day after tomorrow,” Justin said, “or tomorrow I guess, since it’s technically tomorrow already.”

“Don’t, you’re hurting my brain.” You groaned. 

“Are you shivering?” Noah noticed, unzipping his hoodie- which was huge- and wrapping it over your shoulders, “You sure you don't want to get back on the bus?”

“Thanks... Y’know what, I think I will.” You said with another yawn, “Goodnight guys.” 

You noticed how everyone said goodnight back, with the exception of Vin. Not that you cared. Why would you?

After you had left, Ryan decided to ask the question everybody wanted to ask as they all looked around at each other.

“So, you and y/n… What’s going on?” He smirked. 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s clear you want each other, you’re both single, both hot as fuck so what’s stopping you from going for it? I would if I were you.” He laughed. 

“Hey, don’t talk about her like that, man.” Vinny spoke up, causing everyone’s attention to turn to him, Folio crossed his arms as he watched Vin, “She’s her own person, and I'm sure Talitha wouldn't want to hear you say that.” 

“I know,” Ryan chuckled nervously, “I was just saying they’d make a great couple.”

“Yeah whatever,” Vin sighed, putting his phone in his pocket, “See you guys!” He said towards the Bad Omens guys, and disappeared onto his bus. 

“What’s his problem?” Ryan asked, looking at the rest of the guys as they shrugged, but Folio kept his eye on him.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The next show you were playing ended similarly to the last, but instead of Ricky coming out to sing just pretend, Noah announced they’d be playing a song off their first record with a special guest. 

“Some of you might know this song, but if you don’t you still better move. your fucking. asses!” He said into the mic, nodding along as Nick and Jolly began to play, then Folio joined in on the drums, and the other guys joined in and Noah growled into the mic. 

That’s when you realised what was going on, you couldn’t believe Noah hadn’t told you about this. They began playing hedonist, and almost halfway through you spotted Chris at the side of the stage, preparing to go on.

“The path to God led me astray,” Noah sang. 

“So the devil came and lit the way... BLEGH” Chris joined in, although you could hear him before he appeared on stage, the crowd going wild once again, and you've never heard hedonist sound better.

They sang the rest of the song together, and you got some pictures of the two on stage together that you couldn’t wait to post later. Although you had seen Noah perform some heavy songs such as artificial suicide and dethrone, you hadn’t quite seen him do a song like hedonist before, and it made you feel a certain way, and it caused an ache between your thighs. 

“Holy shit that was amazing!” You told Noah as he walked into the green room after the show, sweat drenched hair sticking slightly to his forehead, his breath heavy, but he still grinned at you. 

“Thanks angel,” he smiled, his voice slightly deeper than usual, “can I?” He motioned to your water bottle, and you nodded, handing it to him. 

“The crowd went mental when Chris came out.”

“Knew they would,” he smirked, “you need to show me some of the pictures you took later. Matt and Bryan were saying we should probably post some soon.”

“Of course.” You smiled, standing on your tiptoes to fix his hair, “whilst the other guys are out by the bus they wouldn’t notice if we disappeared, right?” You smirked, and his eyes lit up as he realised what you were suggesting. 

“I don’t see why they’d be looking for us,” Noah said, his fingers trailing down your arm, “But just in case, why don’t we go somewhere a little more… private?”

“I like your thinking, mister.” You smiled as he took your hand, leading you through the back of the venue and into what looked like a dressing room. 

As soon as the door was shut and locked, Noah turned to look at you, his eyes darkened like an animal ready to catch its prey. He bent down, crashing his lips into yours as his hand found its way to your hair, weeks of tension finally being released as you kissed back, even more hungry and eager than him. 

“We have to be quick.” Noah said against your lips. 

“Fine by me, I have a favour to repay.” You said, smirking against his mouth as your hand slowly moved down his body, reaching into his shorts and palming him over his boxers, finding him already hard. 

“Shit, you’re so good to me.” He whispered as he watched you get down on to your knees, teasing him as you so slowly tugged his shorts and boxers down, taking his cock in your hand. It was bigger than you’d imagined, and made your mouth water as you saw his tip already leaking with precum. 

As your hand worked on his length, you dragged your tongue across his tip, earning a low groan from Noah. You licked up the length of his cock, keeping your eyes on his as you kissed it on the way back down.

"Just like that, baby." He was getting lightheaded as he closed his eyes, and you began to feel more confident in what you were doing. You moved your hand from his cock to his thigh, and you began to take more of him into your mouth. You felt his hand come down to tangle in your hair, to move you how he wanted, and you allowed him.

You let him take control, bobbing your head at the pace he set, but as his cock hit the back of your throat you tried your hardest to suppress your gag reflex. However, your eyes still filled with tears nonetheless, and as you looked up at him with dazed, teary eyes, he couldn’t help but throw his head back, only making you move faster as you watched him chase his high.

"Fuck, y/n. Just like that, so fuckin' good." He panted, his hand tightened its grip on your hair as he held in the makeshift ponytail and his cock twitched, telling you he was close. You pulled back slightly, going back to wrapping your fingers around his length as you kissed and licked at his tip, and all of a sudden you felt the warmth of his release fill your mouth as he held you there in place, his hips stuttering ever so slightly as he rode out his high-

“Hey, anyone in here?” You heard what sounded like Vinny knocking on the door, and you froze, choking as you pulled off from Noah, freaking out at the thought of not only being caught, but being caught by Vinny of all people. 

“Yeah,” Noah called out, stroking your hair to calm your nerves as you quickly rose to your feet, “Sorry, I’m getting changed, I'll be out in a minute.”

“Oh okay, I think I let my paint in there? It's a white pot with a black label... Could you bring it on your way out?”

“Yeah sure, man.” Noah says, trying to catch his breath as he pulls his shorts back up, smirking at you as you wipe your mouth.

“That was close.” You say, your hand on your chest, feeling how rapid your heart was beating. 

“And that’s why I locked the door.” He smiled, finding the pot of paint Vin was asking about. “Thank you.” He said, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving the room, holding the door open for you. “As soon as we’re in a hotel for the night, I’ll pay you back.” He gives you one last kiss before you both walk off towards the buses, where the rest of the guys are. Vin and Rick were stood by the door, whilst the other guys sat around the table and chairs they set out earlier this afternoon.

“No, I'm not sure but I think he was in there with someone.” You hear Vinny say to Ricky as you walk outside with Noah, and as he spots you two his eyes widen, and you see a slight look of hurt wash across his face.

“What are you talking about?” Noah raises an eyebrow, holding Vinny's paint out for him.

“Oh, nothing.” Vinny says, taking the pot off of Noah. “Thanks.” 

You couldn't help but smile as you spotted Nicholas vlogging again, and you decided to join him.

"We just played our show, it was incredible! Chris came out for hedonist and we fucked it up... In a good way! We have a day off tomorrow and we're all going bowling which is always fun when you stop caring about whether you win or not. Hey, y/n! Want to give us an update- Oh are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm great... Why?"

"You've got a little..." He wiped the tear stains away from under your eyes, "All gone."

"Thanks, but sure I'll give you an update..." You waited for him to turn the camera on to you. "Wow... Tonight the guys just played another sold out show, Chris Motionless came out for hedonist, bringing a tear or two to my eye," you laughed, "And we're about to get on the bus, eat some pizza and play some mario kart."

"Hell yeah!"

"And if you look in that direction," you pointed over at Ricky, who was recording Vin saying something, "You get an exclusive behind the scenes of Richard Olson's next vlog..."

Nicholas zoomed in on Ricky and Vin for a moment, before Noah's chest got in the way of the camera, walking over to the two of you.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The next day there was no show, so the guys all took a day to relax and explore the city you were currently in. You were glad to be in a hotel tonight, not only to get a night away from Jolly’s snoring but because of what Noah mentioned last night...

“As soon as we’re in a hotel for the night, I’ll pay you back.”

Although you were overjoyed for what was to come, you felt a little nervous. When you had sex with Vinny, it wasn’t planned, it just happened with barely any build up, but this was different. You knew something was going to happen tonight, and you couldn’t wait, but you also couldn't help but feel a little bit nervous. 

“We were thinking of going bowling with the others later,” Noah said, interrupting your hard work (making a new playlist to do your work to, to procrastinate doing your actual work), “Would you want to come too?”

“Oh yeah I think Ruffilo mentioned that last night, I'll come. I love bowling!” You grinned, looking up from your laptop, “Actually Noah, whilst you’re here why don’t you have a look at some of the pictures I got last night?”

Noah joined you on your bunk, lying beside you, leaving you squished against the wall. 

“Oh this one looks sick!” He points at one of the shots you got of him and Chris on stage. “Maybe at the end of the week I’ll see if you can send me some and we’ll post them on our pages.”

“I can do that.” You say with a smile, “So what time can we check into our hotel?”

“I think they said at about 3,” Noah checks the time on his phone, “So I’d say we have an hour. The bowling place isn’t too far from our hotel, we could probably walk there after if you’re up for it.”

“Yeah that sounds fun, I can’t wait to beat your ass.” You smirk, taking your laptop back from him as he gets up from the bunk, stretching his arms with a groan, exposing a little bit of his tattooed stomach, making you turn your head away. 

“Oh yeah? Well I’m looking forward to beating yours later, angel.” He grins, watching as your jaw drops before wandering off like nothing happened. 

You felt really guilty for what happened last night, not for what happened in the dressing rooms at the venue, but what happened in the shower on the bus.

You couldn't get the thought of Vinny out of your mind all night, replaying what the two of you got up to a couple nights ago, and you had to take a cold shower to clear your mind. But you couldn't. All you could think about was him, his smile, his smell, his voice, his touch, the way he looked when he sat back with his legs parted in the green room, tempting you to go over and- It was all too much.

Whilst you were in the shower you gave into the urges, your hand trailing between your thighs as you imagined what it would be like if it was Vinny who you were on your knees for tonight, imagining how he would look for below, his hair falling over his face as he stroked your cheek, if he would praise you or degrade you, how he'd taste, how he'd talk you through it, how his cock would twitch in your mouth before he came, and if he'd do it in your mouth, on your face, or over your chest.

Then when you were finished, you turned the shower off and went back to your bunk like nothing had ever happened.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Where’s Vin?” You ask as everyone sits down by the lane you’re playing at. Everyone else was here except Ryan and Jolly, who clearly had better things to do, but you hadn’t been told why Vinny wasn’t here. 

“He’s on his way.” Ricky said, giving you a look. You were worried he’d catch on to what's been going on between the two of you, being Vin’s best friend, but he hasn’t said anything yet. So far, Folio and Angela were the only people who knew about you and Vinny, everybody else just assumed you and Noah had something going on- no matter how often you told them there wasn't.

“Oh, speak of the devil!” Chris turned, giving Vinny a smile. “We didn’t think you were going to show up!” 

“Yeah, sorry, we were caught in the traffic.” 

We?

When you finally brought yourself to look at him, you realised he wasn’t alone. 

“Guys this is Caitlin, Rick I think you two have met before.” He said, motioning for her to sit on his lap. 

You felt your blood boil, you knew what he was doing, and he knew you knew what he was doing. He was making you jealous, and by the smirk on his face as he glanced over at you, he knew it was working. 

“I hope you don’t mind me joining you! I won’t play, I’ll just watch!” She seemed sweet, and you felt bad knowing he was most likely just using her to get back at you. 

However, two can play at that game. 

You hid your smirk as you picked up your drink and took a sip, you knew just what to do to get under his skin. But you needed to wait, otherwise it would look too obvious.

“So if we’re going by the names up there I'll go first!” Chris beams, picking up a ball and walking up to bowl. 

First, he knocked down 4 pins, and on the second go he finished them off. He spun around and held his arms out in victory, making you chuckle. 

“Rick, you’re next!” 

Everyone kept taking their turns, and when it was your turn you were determined to beat Noah and Vinny to prove a point. 

As you rolled your ball, you knocked them all down in one go, and you turned around almost bouncing with joy as you walked back to sit next to Noah. 

“Told you I’d beat your ass, bitch!” You poked him in the side, laughing. 

“You’re really gonna regret that tonight, doll.” He said under his breath, only to be heard by anyone who was looking, and as you looked from the corner of your eye you saw Vinny clenching his jaw. 

“I’m gonna get some more drinks," you said, noticing how yours was empty, "Anyone else want one?” You ask, standing up. You felt Noah fix your skirt which must have risen up on the back, giving you a small smile. 

“I’ll have a pepsi.” He said, handing you his card. “Put them all on that.”

“Noah, I can't do that!” You frown, refusing to take it. 

“Yes you can, Rick paid for the first lot of drinks, you can pay for them next if you want, but I’m paying for these.”

“Okay,” you hesitate to take his card, “What’s everyone having?”

As you walked to the bar, trying to remember what the guys were having, you felt someone following behind you again and you didn’t need to look to see who it was. 

“Change your mind?” You raised your eyebrows, side eyeing him as you both stood by the bar. 

“What?”

“You asked for a sprite, right?”

“Yeah,” he looked down at his phone, getting his apple pay ready, “But I’m paying for mine and Cait’s, I can’t let Noah do that.”

“Oh… Okay,” You look at him, noticing something was up, “Vin is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he snaps, “Why?”

“You just look upset, that’s all.”

“I’m not,” he says, getting quite defensive, “I'm just tired.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why do you care?” 

“Because I do, Vinny. Look, I’m sorry everything happened the way it did, but I don’t see why we can’t just be friends? I thought we were okay now?”

“Yeah well maybe I’m not ready for that,” he huffed, before turning his attention to the bartender, “Hey could I get a sprite and a vodka and coke? Thanks.”

“Look, I’m sorry Vinny, okay?”

“I know.” He said, not even bothering to look at you. “And I’m sorry too, y/n.” 

“For what?” You asked. 

“For spilling your drink on you that night at the club, if I never did that we wouldn’t be in this situation right now would we.” 

———————————————

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah

[reimeichan]

I'm really starting to enjoy the stage of DID recovery I'm at. It's got a funkiness to it that I don't see others talk about all that much, where it's like... kinda hard to pinpoint what state my system is in at any point in time, but not distressingly so? And also not in a dissociative way like before. It's like, I'm able to feel all these bits of me flowing in and out of my consciousness and sense of identity and I lack any sort of solid definition of what this version of me wants to be or what my destination is. I'm just kinda going with the flow now instead of trying to steer us in any particular direction.

It's definitely a lot less stressful than it used to be and it feels like my brain has calmed down pretty significantly. It's less noisy in my head and I'm now realizing some of that was because there were parts of me who felt like they couldn't be heard before now don't feel the need to scream and bang on the walls to be noticed. And because we're less dissociated from each other, we can more immediately share thoughts and feelings instead of having to manually pass those things around to each other.

I've still got that ADHD buzz, but I'm now realizing the way I described it as being "50 trains of thoughts all at once" or "having 50 tabs open and all of them are playing different audio" no longer feels like it properly describes my experiences anymore. It's more like... I have a game running and that's the main thing I'm focusing on, but I also have a youtube video guide for something I'm trying to do in the game, while I'm also got notepad open to take notes, and another window open to crosscheck information. And maybe a couple random tabs open that are completely unrelated. Still got a lot of tabs and windows up, but they're more aligned to the same or similar purpose.

I do still have the different parts and alters and we still have new (as in unknown or undocumented) parts showing up pretty much daily, but they tend to get caught up to speed fairly quickly and even the ones who are very split off from the rest of the system don't feel as scary to handle (and feel less scared themselves) since we have such a strong support network and various other tools and resources at our disposal. I still feel like we're generally different and separate parts, but we also blend and fuse and influence each other in ways that feel a lot more fluid. Instead of having to purposefully communicate things with each other every time it's now a lot more instant and the hard barriers between each of us feel more and more arbitrary as the days go on. Kinda like looking at a map? Where you see the borders on the map, but at the end of the day you remove all of that and the landscape tells a different story and shows how all those "countries" are actually connected and one giant landmass. And those borders are still important to understand how they're there and why they exist, but it's not the whole story and can actually distract you from the bigger picture.

I dunno, I know I'm definitely in a transitional period of my healing and that's why things feel so vague and nebulous but I'm not complaining. If anything I'm pretty excited for what's to come.

[beanghostprincess]

I Gift ye with some silly cross guild concepts:

• Buggy with autism and ADHD, with a special interest in explosives, weapons, chemistry, and who uses the circus performances as stimming.

• Mihawk who is Not Neurotypical At All being faced with the antithesis of his whole vibe and somehow being roped into other stims

• (Buggy absolutely makes a swing with silks, and they cuddle in is Often. Ritchie is a living weighted blanket AND HE PURRS)

• Crocodile walks into this not expecting to start a side hustle making stim toys but here we are.

• dadodile theory where Luffy shows up and suddenly oh the stim toy stock is sold out, neat :))

• Buggy getting carried like a kitten by his Big Boyfriends

• polyamorous fighting bc someone's hair oil smells too strong or this brand of soap is Icky or smth so very domestic and sweet and all three end up pausing bc Damn. They're pirates and yet fighting over rose vs lavender scents or what detergent is best.

• sometimes after hours when everyone is asleep, Buggy will do small performances and tries to teach some tricks to the other's. Mihawk offers gardening lessons, and Croc likes teaching them old games from Alabasta when he was a child. Results are.... mixed.

• Buggy oftentimes make azidoazide aside completely on purpose bc Big BOOM Go Brr.

• people think Croc and Hawk have the braincell, but secretly none of them do. They're all a special brand of Absolutely Unhinged.

• Mihawk has a bad tendency to just... bite his loved ones like a cat.

• Crocodile would sooner cut off his other hand than admit to being needy. (No, he totally doesn't just yank his victim of the hour into his lap and then hold them in place with his hook until he's got his cuddle fix, shut up-)

• Buggy is both very smart and very stupid. Bro is a chemist, a weapons maker, a dealer, runs numerous businesses, heads an information network, grew up on the Pirate king's ship with training from the best of the best, could probably stage a world wide coup d'etat if he tried, but still fights against the impulse to swallow a muggy ball Just Because. Smart of Brain, Dumb of Ass.

((You can probably tell Buggy is my favorite but shhhhh let the Guild cook- /hj))

Okay, no, these are all amazing. And don't worry because Buggy is my favorite too, I get it.

They're all just a trio of neurodivergent men who think they can rule the world but actually they're oversensitive and also pretty dumb sometimes. I love their poly relationship so damn much. It gives me life.

[sout999]

adhd talk

the third truly unsung project alongside my film and dissertation was the weird amount of targeted effort i had to put into Completing Anything Big As A Neurodivergent Person Whose Brain Is A Crazy Off The Rails Train Staffed and Patronised Entirely By Multiple Exact Copies Of The Squirrel From Ice Age

which is a description like 99/100 people reading this can relate to, but i think a sentiment i see less often and therefore feel kind of stupid and stubborn and lonesome about is "adhd is innate but is also exasperated by hectic lifestyle/modern instant gratification machines so if i fix my habits around those i can cure myself forever". which is silly and wrong but also i feel abit disconnected from adhd social media culture and cant cope just relating to it (which is all it seems to be sometimes) but learning to harness or tame it to do the things that are really important to me

i felt really cringe tbh having to look up youtube videos of HARVARD STUDENT REVEALS PRO STUDY TRICK and then narrowing it down to specifically adhd-focused study videos and keeping a planner and setting aside specific time to study studying and practising anti-academic meltdown journaling techniques and reading fucking atomic habits but i really didn't want to contribute to my abhorrent academic record following me all through undergrad. in fact i wish i had done this sooner but i was not self aware enough to consider the fact

probably the best change i made was severely cutting down or being mindful of social media time, i don't backread my tl anymore and have more moments of awareness when i find myself dumbly scrolling and realize i dont want to be doing this, and then wondering what i actually Do want to be doing. i keep a book nearby to read, and have also swapped a lot of social media time to sketching-off-pinterest time. reading about the psychology behind social media apps is also super interesting, although i always feel like a paranoid wacko conspiracy theorist talking about it. stuff like how negativity and judgemental behaviour is good for engagement (and therefore ad revenue), and how if all posts on your tl were interesting you wouldn't be as addicted to social media as you are, therefore microblogging employs a slot machine/gacha system where you "roll" for posts by logging on and hope to get a good one. it's a little full on but the more i think of it as a revolting and evil machine the more incentive i have to do something else with my time ^q^

a harder thing to do was, in the late stages of the project, the real crunch time month, avoid everything that could become a huge hyperfixation, and then eventually even minor distractions or fixations. because i know if i got super obsessed with something i'd just be up posting about it or drawing fanart. i had to bar myself from persona 3 remake and elden ring dlc and all these other shiny new releases, and the mobile games i was playing... i look forward to catching up on them now. i took up reading books a lot more because unfortunately thats just not as exciting. in the last month of film work i stopped listening to music on my computer so i wouldnt get drawing or animation ideas to distract me from film work. as of writing this i havent listened to music in like 40 days guys 😱 at the same time i am the kind of person who needs background noise to work, so i have:

watched novum's four hour hereditary video essay three times

watched novum's seven hour midsomar video essay three times

watched that one five hour bojack horseman retrospective twice

listened to audiobooks of the Britney Spears biography, Jennette McCurdy biography, three Playboy Bunny biographies (i was on some sort of lady bopgraphy kick i guess), and a few fiction books

rewatched all of bojack horseman

started on House MD and got a few seasons in before i finished the project, amazingly the perfect show to look away from bc of all the medical stuff, how many lumbar punctures do you need to show like seriously

honorable mention to the learned skill of communication and being honest and picking your battles and killing your darlings which is a larger part of managing mental illness than i cared to admit but one of the hardest ones because it involved confronting things and making big painful drastic changes and then having to tell the faculty about them. sometimes i'd be stuck on a piece of animation work for weeks/months, then go back and change the underlying idea to one i'm actually passionate about, and do the animation work in one day using newly found magical hyperfocus passion power. it's crazy! but being able to be confident about taking those steps rather than keeping on with what you're "supposed" to do went a long way.

i very much look forward to listening to a music and playing some video games properly now and being pulverized like a small victorian child from the sheer amount of fun i'm having. i'd say it was all worth it and a fun experiment in channeling the magical humours of passion and boredom and i hope it will help me with future projects too. i Am super burnt out though x__ x thanks for reading and for all your support up until now!

[gl00mur41]

hello twst tumblr... particularly those who enjoy idiavil... i don't know who to share these ideas with so i have decided to post them here.

the idiavil brainrot is constant. persistent. so is the twst brainrot in general but not a day will go by where i don't think about idiavil at least once. this has caused a whopping 21 different fics ideas to form in my brain. some i like a lot more than others and so i wanted to ramble about my favorites. these may eventually show up on my ao3 (EdgarAllanFruitbowl), possibly posted on here as well, but i'm kind of drowning in school work and just life in general so idk.

ANYWAYS!!! i have a few general fics i wld like to write (arcade date, mutual pining, ghost au) but i honestly have more oddly specific ideas.

first of all, a pokémon fic. i like the idea of them being in the pokémon canon universe, but the idea of a fic where idia just infodumps about pokémon and vil builds a team and they battle eachother... it tickles my brain right. i personally feel like vil would enjoy pokemon but idia would be more into it... i think vil enjoy stuff more like animal crossing and stardew valley. idk i just can't exactly picture him playing pokémon or the legend of zelda and enjoying it like idia would.

NEXT FIC IDEA. this is one of two mutual pining fics i have written down. it's less mutual pining, more idia being idia and vil just isn't sure how to feel about liking idia romantically. very specifically, i got the idea from won't say i'm in love from hercules. i ADORE that song, and it just feels super vil-coded to me. i mostly imagine the "muses" in this situation (basically just the people trying to get vil to stop denying his feelings) would be ortho and epel. epel because he's also in pomefiore (and i also LOVE HIM), and ortho because of the film studies club (but also because he'll have relevance since it's idiavil). ortho wld know about how both parties are interested but he wld keep it a secret. i also think that ortho and epel wld be like their matchmakers... i love ortho and epel as a duo, i think they'd wreak a lot of havoc together. other than that it's kind of basic compared to my other fic ideas but i still love it a lot.

THIRD FIC IDEA. i only recently came up w this one and jotted it down frantically on the bus so i don't rlly have much of a concept yet but an actor au, either stage or like tv actors. i know acting is out of character for idia but he could always be in the tech crew... also its an au i can write him a little ooc if i want.

FINAL FIC IDEA I WILL SHARE FOR THIS POST. I SAVED MY FAVORITE FOR LAST. BAND AU. ok so it's more like a singer/stand alone artist au. i think abt this au so much it's not even funny. i have a ton written down but this post is already long enough so i'll sum it up, if for some reason this idea gains traction i'll post more abt it again. this takes place like one or two years in the future? idkfs yet. idia and vil are both individual artists but enjoy each other's music a lot despite the contrast in style. after a few interviews and messages they end up making a song together, which then turns into a few songs, and oh no now they're in love. i eat breathe sleep this au i don't even know why i haven't started writing for it yet (because i have adhd and school is kicking my ass) . ANYWAYS THATS IT. i thoroughly enjoy rambling abt these fics but also idiavil in general so comments/responses are encouraged if u feel like it. i will probably respond at lightspeed unless i am sleeping. farewell idiavil nation 🫡