#i got stressed almost died it was horrible

[mymarifae]

sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck

[absentlyabbie]

i'll tell you what converted me to being all-in on keeping cats indoors only:

living for a year and a half in a rural area with a sudden feral cat colony explosion on the property.

i moved in with my folks for a bit and at that time, one (1) stray cat mama had taken up residence on the property, but was too feral to let my mother anywhere near her. but especially after she brought three kittens around, mom fed her and the kittens in hopes they'd grow trusting enough she could catch for spay and neuter at the minimum. momcat stayed mean and hella wary, but the kittens would hang around a little nearer and play with my mom via long stick, but still wouldn't come close enough to touch or catch.

unfortunately, two of the three kittens were girls and started having kittens of their own before further progress was made, shortly after i moved in. and that was pretty much instant doom.

there were so many kittens. SO MANY. multiple litters. every time we turned around, more kittens.

we fed them. we hunted for and located the kittens every time anywhere on the property and would move them to a repurposed doghouse anytime a mama cat had them somewhere else, so that they could grow up human-socialized and we could spay/neuter them when they were old enough. (also it was a handy tactic to push the issue of the mamas getting more used to/trusting of us themselves. only really worked with one of them, though.)

and we watched them die.

we watched litter after litter of kittens never make it to the age they could be spayed or neutered. the moms stayed, for the longest time, too skittish to more than briefly touch, much less catch and crate for a vet visit.

it sounds like a silly joke to say i have kitten-related ptsd, but i absolutely do.

too many goddamn times i'd walk out of the garage and find the carport and gravel drive strewn with tiny bodies. others simply went missing, never to be found.

one in particular, i wish i hadn't found, and the visual literally haunts me still, almost a decade later.

i saw so many kittens die of snake bite, spider bite, wild dogs, birds of prey, hit by cars, respiratory illness, covered in fleas and eyes crusted with infection.

and we loved them all. scrimped for antibiotics if the vet could be convinced to give it to us despite our being unable to bring them in. bought flea collars and ointments. we cared for them and fed them and petted them and played with them, brushed their fur and cleaned up their little faces, put ice in their water in hot summer, rigged a heating lamp in their house in the winter.

and they died. horribly. that property is pocked with unmarked graves of kittens and cats.

all the best intentions, not enough resources, and it didn't matter anyways because the population went from three to almost twenty (at times, over thirty) in the blink of an eye.

they died and died and died. our hearts broke over and over again. the stress and anxiety wore us down like sandpaper. i think, by the end of it all, we managed to find less than 10 of them all homes, including batman the disabled kitten i found a home across the country through tumblr.

it was carnage and tragedy, frankly. and we were helpless.

it only ended because they started dying faster than they could be born, and because we finally caught the two remaining mom cats in traps and got them spayed.

the points about outdoor cats being invasive predators devastating to local wildlife populations is true and valid and important.

but i know cat people, and cat people who don't know better than to let cats outdoors. what matters to you is the cat itself, generally. the cat being happy and taken care of.

keeping cats outdoors, letting them outdoors, is not taking care of the cats. it's not protecting them. it's not giving them any happiness or invigoration that couldn't be provided to them as indoor-only pets with just a little research and effort.

they die. they get ill. they get hurt. they're at risk of predators, and cars, and disease, and carelessly cruel children and deliberately cruel adults. they're at risk of disappearing on you because someone else saw a cat outdoors and intervened to give it a better, safer life not in conflict with the local environment.

and if that offends and angers you that someone would just take a cat they saw roaming outdoors, even collared, and that it sounds like i'm endorsing that, i am, but not if you intervene and be that person yourself for your own cat.

if what matters to you is doing right by your cat because it's family and a living creature whose happiness and health and safety is important to you,

keep them indoors. not part time. always. exclusively.

edit: since apparently i need to clarify this, i'm saying cats should live inside, that they should not live outdoors, even part time. visiting the outdoors supervised on a leash or in an enclosed catio is not the same as even part-time living outside, and i am certainly not advocating against it.

[jesuistrestriste]

I love gooner!art I really do but I wish more ppl where into android!art... the possibilities are endless, I need him to short circuit idc idc

android!art who's supposed to be just a simple house bot to help you clean around the house, but sees you coming home from work stressed as always and searches up the best ways to distress a woman... you think he's just offering a sweet massage... please match my freak!!

⭕️ android!art leading you over to your living room’s soft sofa, his touch warm and tender—moreso than you’d initially expect from a being made of plastic, and silicone, and metal. his tears were saline solution, his spit was some sort of lubricant to keep his mouth and throat wet enough for him to sound human when he spoke, and he didn’t sweat. he was artificial.

but when he sat you on the couch, his touch felt anything but. he stroked your cheek and listened to you drone on about your horrible day. and while you were halfway through the recounting of it, he did something he hadn’t done before.

“let me help you relax,” his voice hummed, low and steady, and then his hand was sliding down your abdomen to let his fingers unbutton your pants.

the fly of your bottoms was undone so quick that it made your head spin. he looked back up to your eyes and held your gaze while his hand—previously only used to help you get various chores done around the house—slipped down into your underwear. while his touch felt human, his movements were mechanical. not in a way that made them stiff, but in a way that felt all-too-perfect. his thumb didn’t catch on your underwear’s elastic waistband, he was applying just the right amount of pressure, his middle and ring finger immediately found your—

Oh.

your eyes fluttered, your breathing hitched. he nodded, watching all of your reactions and analyzing those to determine your preferences.

“that’s it..” he speaks, now almost as breathless as you, “just like that.. relax, i’ve got you now.. you don’t have anything you need to worry about..”

his voice was hypnotic in the way it shook your defenses and lulled you into a state of unbelievable bliss. you had almost wanted to stop him, tell him that he didn’t have to do this for you, but the syllables died in your throat and morphed into a strangled cry as he started to rub quicker circles.

“fuck!” you shudder, reaching down reflectively to hold his wrist.

he nodded again. his blue eyes roaming your face. the LED on his temple flicked from blue to yellow and then back to blue.

“i just did a scan of your body and its systems, i hope that’s okay.. your heart-rate is elevated, and your arousal is.. well, you’re about to have an orgasm.”

your hips buck against his touch and your back arches from the cushions. the word ‘orgasm’ coming from his usually incredibly clean vocabulary just makes all of it feel filthier.

“this will make you feel so much better, i promise.. you’re almost there.. i—“ he swallows thickly, “i want you to come.”

was that a programmed response in him?

did cyberlife program him to speak that way when he’s touching someone like this?

or.. or was that just him?

the possible answer is snuffed out in your mind by blinding waves of heat and pleasure, a strangled cry falling from your lips as he leans into your side and observes you as you fall apart. his fingers circle relentlessly, and your moans start to dissolve into choked whimpers when he pushes you to the point of overstimulation. he must know what hes doing.. he has to.

“almost done,” he croons, “shh, shh.. it’s better to ride it out until it’s completely out of your system. sometimes that means pushing yourself just a bit longer than normal. trust me,” it almost sounds like he’s begging you to let him keep going.

and so you do.

and you don’t get mad at him when he “accidentally” drags you through two more climaxes. after the third and final release, though, the color of his LED is hard to ignore.

red.

[mydarlingclaudia]

I’m still coming back to you

note : divider is from @/aquazero. I've never written smut before, plus this is probably ooc, so I'm sorry if it's not the best. I based this off of She's My Collar by Gorrilaz. since this is smut mdni.

wc : 1.3k

desc : you and Leon have something special, neither of you would trade it for anything. smut!! - oral (f receiving), more focused on Leon's pov, fwb (kind of??), Leon being kinda head over heels for you, a little bit of angst, not proofread, fem!reader, wrote this with DI!Leon in mind

Leon thinks he might be in love with you. You’d always welcome him into your home, or he’d welcome you into his. You helped take the stress away from his work and made him forget that everything was out to get him. The two of you weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, but he knew damn well that he was yours and you were his.

It was routine. Leon would come back from a mission, wash up real quick, make his way to your apartment with a gift for you in his hand, and you’d be there waiting for him, like you usually were.

He’s been doing this with you for a while now, he’d met you at a bar in D.C. a few years ago, a one night stand turned into the two of you continuing to run into each other whether at the same bar or anywhere else in the city, and that led to more nights of the two of you passed out in his bed or yours, wearing nothing but love-bites and blankets. He liked you a lot more than he’d anticipated, he liked doting on you a lot, too.

Leon coming home from a mission wasn’t the only time he’d see you. He had a busy schedule, you knew that, that was the pretty much the only thing you knew about his job besides it being doing dangerous things for the government, but he’d try to see you once every couple of weeks at the very least. His arrival wouldn’t always be a surprise, he liked taking you out to dinner almost as much as he liked having sex with you. Leon did his best to plan dates with you, they weren’t ever anything really mind blowing, usually just dinner dates or him taking you shopping. Leon liked watching you try on dresses, he liked sharing a bottle of wine with you, he liked spending some money on you.

He couldn’t stay away from you, and you couldn’t stay away from him, he could die and still find a way to get back to you.

Leon never asked for your number, he hardly used his phone for anything outside of reading the news and work, he figured that if he had your number, he’d never put his phone down. Of course, that didn’t keep you out of his mind all day long. And it’s not like him not having your number made him unable to ever see you, he knew where you lived, he knew your work schedule. If he was to drop by your house and you weren’t there for some reason, he could just leave a note taped to your door telling you to come meet him at his apartment.

Leon also thought that if he got your number and ended up losing his phone on a mission and it got into the wrong hands and they somehow found out about you, then things wouldn’t end good for either of you. That’s why after he joined the DSO he hasn’t been in an actual relationship, as much as he longed for one, he knew he couldn’t risk it. You were the closest he could get to that, he’d never really be able to date you, but you seemed happy with what the two of you had. Marriage and kids probably wouldn’t be his scene, anyway. And even if his relationship with you was able to get that far, he couldn’t just leave you home alone with a baby for weeks at a time, he’d feel horrible about it.

You’d never really talked about it, you’ve joked about it a few times, but there wasn’t really any significance behind them. It’s better that way.

Leon was lucky that you were his, even though it wasn’t official. He could pretend his life was normal for a few nights when he was with you.

The nights where he felt the most normal, was when he had his head buried between your thighs after he cooked you steak in the comfort of his apartment.

He’d just come back from California, as always, he didn’t say much about the mission other then it was more complicated then it should’ve been. Leon had told you that he went to the store and bought everything he needed for steak, all you needed to do was go home with him, which you were more than fine with. You always loved his apartment, it was comfy and smelled like him, you’d left a few of your own things there over the years. You knew what was going to happen when he knocked on your door, sometimes after missions he just had this look to him that told you he needed your help de-stressing, you were always willing to help.

Your back is pressed against Leon's bed while your hips are supported by his hands, your thighs rest on his shoulders, occasionally squeezing his head while he kneels between them. A string of shaky pants and whines fall from your mouth as he continues to eat you out, your grip on his hair tightens as you buck your hips against his face.

One of his hands leaves your hip to press down on your stomach, keeping you still against his mouth. Leon pulls away from you, pressing his face against your thigh and biting it gently.

"Stay still, like I told you." Leon mumbles softly, pressing down on your stomach a bit harder, the hand that had remained on your hip slips down to hold the underside of your thigh.

"C-Can't-" You whimper, weakly digging your heels into the back of his ribs to try and bring him closer once again.

"You can't?" He teases, raising an eyebrow and pulling further away from you slightly, to which you whine at. You removed your hand from his hair and sat up on your elbows and huffed, Leon only chuckled softly and reached up to place a hand over your chest, pushing you back down. Leon let his hand slide down over your breasts that were spilling out of the bra he hadn't bothered to take off of you after he covered your chest with soft indents of his teeth and hickeys, his hand returned to your hip before he attached his mouth back to your aching sex, sucking roughly.

Your thighs tightened around Leon's head again, refusing to let him go as your back arched ever so slightly off the bed so you could grind against his mouth. This time, he didn't pull away or scold you about keeping still, he just gripped your hips tighter and pressed his face against your cunt, lavishing attention to the sensitive flesh.

Leon always tried his best to savor you, even though you've done this together countless times. He loved the noises you made for him when he found the right spot to suck on or grind against, his memories of moments like these with you are what got him through tough missions, along with knowing that he'd get to do this all over again with you when he got home.

Your hand finds its way back into Leon's hair, he grunts against your flesh, giving your thigh a light slap as he pulls his head a few inches away, his breath fanning across your cunt.

"I know you missed me, but be patient. I've got you, I promise." He reassures you before he drags his tongue slowly up your slit, listening to you as you moan.

Your grip in his hair only tightens as you rock your hips again, feeling his tongue delve deeper to eat you out more thoroughly. He always did this; the teasing. You loved it.

Leon's down there for another five minutes before your orgasm washes over you, by the time he's done licking you clean, he's already gotten his belt buckle off and his pants unzipped, trailing wet kisses up your body before his lips meet yours. He'd never get tired of this, even if he does it one thousand more times, he'd do it happily. He's got you, and you're the best thing life has ever thrown his way.

[justevelynnnn]

My domestic poolverine hcs

warnings: logan stabs wade (ofc) and a sprinkle of profanity

A/N: i wanna do a part 2 to this but i have no ideas😭 if yall have any ideas lmk 💔 also this is barely proofread and my excuse is that i’m a busy college student

- It took a month for Logan to get used to his new home. It was Althea, Wade ofc, Mary puppins and himself. Full house.

- Logan stayed on the couch that whole first month because Wade and Althea had taken both the rooms already. Some nights he had Mary puppins lay on the couch with him.

- Eventually, Wade and Logan started sharing his bed after Wade begged logan for weeks and days

-Both of them would unconsciously fight over the sheets and bed space over night

- They also would deal with each other’s nightmares :(

- Also Logan snores….LOUD.

- Logan didn’t admit it but it was nice to sleep next to someone that wasn’t a dog or some random person he was fucking. Just someone he could really trust for once. Who had his back and best interest in mind.

- Wade was the cook until Logan showed up

- The first day Logan tried Wade’s cooking he was just like “Nope nope nope” and got up and showed Wade how to really cook

- Another wolverine secret, He was damn good cook

- Ofc, due to the 200 years of living blah blah blah

- So now Logan cooks just about everything for everyone

- Althea was happy she didn’t have to deal with Wade’s horrible food anymore and Wade was happy he had a little house wife that would cook for him when he got off work

- Just kidding…okay maybe…..

- Mary puppins also took some getting used to too

- She would bark and bark and whine for nicepool sometimes

- Wade did his best to comfort her but it wasn’t the same and nothing worked. Not the bones or new toys or silly outfits he bought her.. just nothing

- Logan, however, was okish with dogs so he knew to just let her and make little cooing noises to soothe her

- Wade damn near melted at the sight…it was sooooooo cute! He got Althea to take a picture one day for him while he was at work

- “If you hear Logan calming Mary puppins down again take a picture for me, okay? Very important! Are you listening?”

- Althea was half awake since it was morning before Wade went to work but was just like, okay whatever bye

- The picture was crooked and logan and the dog were barely in the frame.

- It still went on the fridge though!

- And many more pictures on the fridge like…

- Logan sleeping with a permanent marker mustache on his face!

- Andddd Family game night !

- And a crayon picture of Wade, Althea, Logan and Mary puppins

- There we’re also polaroids all over the house of little moments like this and also Laura when she came over

- Wade was really digging this new family thing and so was Logan he just was never gonna say it

- Pranks were also frequent

- Logan Howlett did not do pranks. Not before the x-men, during or after. So his reactions of course were way funnier.

- One was the use of random airhorns by Wade and Althea in the middle of the night, one by each of Logan’s ears as he slept. Logan jumped out of bed slashing the air angrily with his claws, swearing like they were the only words he knew. Althea was a bit more scared than Wade but still found it funny.

- Logan stabbed Wade multiple times after that.

- Another prank was Wade pulling one of those “fake news of the end of the world announcements on tv” things where he got a fake video of a government announcement saying the world was ending and because Logan barely understood technology he fully believed it and was wide eyed and quiet

- Once he started pacing with his arms on his hips Wade could barely keep a straight face

- Finally a super serious and stressed Logan goes, “You think this is fucking funny, mouth?!”

- Wade died.

- He never laughed this hard in his life. He almost ran out of air and his sides actually hurt a bit but of course healed quickly.

- Logan still didn’t get it just crossed his arms in confusion. When Althea told him Wade pranked him yet again, he threw Wade through the wall and Wade fell to the bottom floor. Ouch. But so worth it.

- When Wade came back upstairs Logan cussed him out but Canadian style because he was that mad which killed him again and he just fell back down somehow

- Random tickle fights would happen but not a lot because when Wade got to Logan he would get stabbed as Logan laughed uncontrollably

- Althea would also hate it but would laugh at least in the beginning and then start hitting wade in the face when she had enough

- Only mary puppins liked it and that’s cause she thought she was getting pets

- Laundry day was also interesting

- Wade barely did laundry on the account of working and “fighting crime” and also because he hated doing chores

- Althea couldn’t see so even when she tried to fold clothes they’d be sloppy and put in the wrong places and just no

- So logan had to step up for that too

- And surprise surprise things would be folded so neat and clean

- Sometimes though when laundry day approached but clothes were running low the two men would just share clothes

- Never boxers even if Wade insisted over and over and over

- But shirts most of the time

- So sometimes Logan’s just in a ridiculous shirt of Wade’s

- Sometimes it’s the one with the words “two seater” with the arrows pointing up and down

- Sometimes it’s a pink shirt that is like too tight?

- They also share pants, socks and pajama pants but though they each only have like 5 pair of each cause yknow…men..

- But all of the silliness and randomness that is moving in with Wade Wilson aside, Logan adjusted nicely, loving his new home and family ❤️

[snvffsoda]

some silly/random headcanons i have for Strade, Ren, and Lawrence!!

i know a lot of people like to think he kidnaps people from the same bar, using the kind of pick up lines, but that wouldn’t be an efficient way to keep the bodies coming, and he knows that, how long until someone catches him dragging an unconscious/unsuspecting person in his car? And makes a call to the police? Strade doesn't take chances, not with the cops, he may be insane, but he's still extremely smart at what he does, he would go out to clubs, late-night parties, concerts, crowded busy areas, anywhere he could slip in and find someone and leave toghther with less caring eyes on him.

has cut his finger while using his power tools and made Ren suck the blood from his finger before, not because he wanted comfort or anything he just wanted to see Ren's sheepish look while he did (Ren enjoyed it too for the blood, albeit nervously)

Strade is a confident, charismatic man, but i still think no matter how hard he tries to hide his sadistic psychotic tendencies, they bleed through him with the way he talks to people, you always get this underlying feeling of unease when he speaks which is why he prefers alcohol to be involved to get his victims, it'd be harder to notice Strade’s eyes staring just a little too long for comfort when you're 4 shots in

always keeps eye contact, almost to an uncomfortable amount, it feels like he doesn't even blink half the time his stare feels like his eyes are always threatening to pierce your skull open and see what's inside from his gaze alone.

Strade is strong, but he's no amazing fighter, if you're fast enough, and have the intent to win, or to kill him i dont think his brute force and heavy swings will do much plus i think he uses a lot of street fighting tactics ie; slamming, grabbing you and pinning you, using weapons instead of just his fist to his own detriment (and that’s what i think got him killed)

really good at texting, he's very descriptive when he texts almost like you're really speaking to him on the phone or in person, he doesn't use a lot of slang or emoticons, Doesn't abbreviate his words like ‘idk’ ‘wyd’ so on, and lots of Periods. Commas, exclamation points! might reply to something funny he sees with a ‘LOL’ in all caps or ‘😂’ but that's it.

really really wants to learn guitar efficiently, but his claws always cut and get caught on the strings when he tries to play so whenever he does try to play he plays with a pick, he doesn't play the best because of it, it was one of the first things he bought with Strade’s money after he died since Strade didn’t want him to get one because it was ‘too noisy’

avid gamer and discord user to an unhealthy amount, and will spam you with messages when you dont hop on the game he's spam inviting you to play with him

sleeps on Strade’s old shirts and pants and coats, anything to where he can get his scent again in his room will sometimes cry himself to sleep thinking about him when laying on them, muttering to himself how sorry he is for letting him die

he remembers and still can understand basic Japanese formalities and such, he's since tried to relearn his native language online, and he did horribly because he forgot almost everything

sassy, when he's stressed, or angry, he can and will be sarcastic and make sly remarks regarding the situation to you, roll his eyes, cross his arms, mutter to himself, just more on the pouty side when it comes to handling his stress

has a collection of old chew toys, he's torn and bitten through with his fangs when his more animalistic tendencies kick in when he's in heat or just needs to keep his mouth busy

has been sent to psychiatric mental hospitals many times before when he was an adolescent by his family he never made friends or spoke much when he was, he did well, and never caused trouble

he’s fallen asleep while in the bath and somehow hasn't drowned himself hundreds of times he can't help it, it reminds him of the river,,

smoking weed helps him sleep through the day, it keeps him in a deep sleep since he's a light sleeper, so he isn't startled awake by his neighbors stomping about during the day

enjoys horror movies like ‘Jacobs Ladder’ and ‘The Jacket’ movies where the protagonist feels as though they are already dead or trapped in their mind, he relates to that feeling when he watches those films

would definitely be the type to go nonverbal when he is high, resorting to nods and shaking his head to get his point across if he's with you and comfortable around you

hates sweet tea and store-bought tea in general, he hates the way they taste and the texture they leave on his tongue, he prefers making tea himself with his plants and the ingredients he grows

[sparklypinkflightsuit]

The Outsider: Part 1

Hasil Farrell x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Swearing, Alcohol (Mostly Farrell Wine) Violence, Broken Established Relationship, Cheating, Domestic Violence

——————————

18+ Only

——————————

You had never intended on being where you were in life, and some would call you selfish and ungrateful for being miserable with the life you had, but you knew the truth that others didn’t see, a truth that ate away at you daily, one that you struggled to see a way out of.

Your friends had always envied you. Married to a handsome, wealthy man, his powerful family providing for you in every which way… that was, in every which way that mattered to them. The unsightly truth was merely swept under the rug if it didn’t suit their image, which was almost always.

You had no voice, not since losing your family in that horrible accident. Now you had no one in the world but your husband Wyatt, and his awful family.

At first, Wyatt had been your dream man. He was kind, strong, loving, attentive, everything you’d hoped for. He swept you off of your feet, and he was your rock after your parents died.

That was before. Once he put that ring on your finger and lured you down that isle, everything changed, he had you locked in and the real Wyatt came out, and you had spent years making excuses for him and his outbursts.

“Oh he’s just stressed, work is a lot for him right now.”

“Oh his father’s pressuring him to get that deal done, he’ll be back to normal in a week.”

“Oh he’s just drunk, he’s not usually like this.”

The clothes you wore and the makeup slathered on to hide bruises and black eyes, the excuses made to avoid social gatherings to stay at home and heal that busted lip.

“I fell.”

“The stupid door hit me in the face.”

“Car accident, just a fender bender, silly me!”

All lies you told that kept you going one day at a time.

But at night you’d cry yourself to sleep, and during the day you’d find things to occupy yourself with, because you were not allowed to work, or go out without Wyatt by your side.

“Why don’t you just leave?” You asked yourself frequently.

“Where would I go? Who else do I have? I don’t have any money, or family, or friends that aren’t linked to him that would be willing to hide me.”

So you stayed, out of fear and hope that things would improve.

They never did, and when Wyatt decided to move you back to his home town in Blackburg Kentucky, you dreaded what this might mean for you.

In such a small town, there were no secrets, no one you could go to with your problems, especially not when the whole town favoured your husbands family, and similarly feared them.

“Best behaviour, Y/N.” You told yourself, “Best behaviour or you’ll embarrass him in front of the people he went to school with. Nothing worse than that, you’ll never hear the end of it.”

Barely a week into moving and Wyatt went to work with his fathers closest business partner, leaving you home all alone during the day.

You preferred it this way, you had time to unwind and be you. You had time to garden and paint and relax, and clean yourself up before he got home.

God he hated seeing you dirty, muddy knees and finger nails, flecks of paint in your hair, they made him angry for some reason.

No, you had to be pristine for him. Get your nails done, put your makeup on - but not too much! And not when he wasn’t home, because who were you dressing up for then?

Nice dresses, nice shoes, nice perfume. The smell of them made you sick and you longed to hang around in jeans and tank tops and shorts and trainers like you did before you met him.

That morning, before everything changed, you made his coffee and breakfast that he barely touched as he read his newspaper, and the moment he was out the door and his car pulled out of the drive, you ran upstairs to change into your comfiest jeans and sweatshirt.

Pulling your hair into a messy ponytail, you made your way out into the huge back garden that backed onto the woods at the foot of the mountain.

It was beautiful but severely overgrown, and you couldn’t wait to get your hands dirty making it perfect.

Hours passed quickly without you realising, and barely a fraction of the garden had been done.

You sat back on your haunches and breathed in the cool mountain air, enjoying the silence it offered in comparison to city life.

That’s when you noticed a face peaking out from the trees beyond a little stream on your property.

You stood quickly with surprise, ready to run back indoors if need be, but the face smiled at you, gentle and curious.

“Hello?” You called out, and the face became a person as they stepped out from behind the tree.

“Hi there lady, sorry I didn’t mean to startle ya.”

The voice called, edging slightly closer.

You realised he was around your age, maybe a bit older, and he had long flowing brown hair, braids on one side that reminded you of a Viking.

“Can I help you?” You called, a little apprehensive as your feet positioned themselves to run if need be.

“I just… I noticed you were pullin’ them there weeds out, but not sure if you realised what they are.” He walked closer, stopping just before the stream that separated you.

His clothes were plain, kind of dirty, and you wondered for a moment if he was from the poorer side of town.

“No, they’re not poisonous, are they?” You suddenly wondered out loud, inspecting your bare hands for any signs of itchiness or blistering.

He chuckled, and you realised he had a pretty smile.

“No, the opposite actually, them there’s a Yarrow plant, mighty beneficial.”

You hesitated, looking down for a second at the piles of weeds you’d ripped from the ground.

“Yarrow? I didn’t realise.” You said sheepishly.

The man smiled, wringing out his hands as he inspected you curiously. “You not from around here are ya?”

You let out a scoff and raised your brow, “Is it that obvious?”

“A lil, you sound different to all them folks in town. What you got there-“ pointing at the heap of weeds, “my people use for a whole bunch of things. I can take it off your hands, if you don’t mind?”

Normally, you’d be extremely hesitant around other men. Mostly because Wyatt would lose his head, but you also didn’t trust them one bit.

Something about this man was different though, and you found yourself bending over to scoop up the quickly wilting weeds in your arms.

You walked down to the stream and carefully stepped over rocks to get to where the man stood, and he held a hand out as if preparing to steady you if you lost your footing.

“There’s plenty more where that came from.” You smiled softly.

“Thank you miss, that’s mighty kind.” He grinned down at you as he took them from your hands.

He had stunning big blue eyes, lashes longer than your own and he was covered with interesting tattoos.

Silence fell over you as you stared at one another, until you realised what you were doing and took a step back, “Well… have a good day.”

You waved awkwardly and turned back to the stream.

“Say!” He stopped you, and you turned back to look at him. “You got a name?”

You couldn’t help but smile and laugh a little, “Uh… yeah, Y/N.”

“Y/N…” he repeated, trying the sounds out on his tongue, “That’s a pretty name. Matches your face.”

You let out a surprised laugh, not used to kind words from someone you’d only just met.

“What’s your name?” You asked, curious about this strange man.

“Hasil. Hasil Farrell.”

“Nice to meet you Hasil.”

“You too ma’am. Hope to see you ‘round.”

———————————

Showered, dress on, makeup and hair done, you now busied yourself preparing dinner, but you found yourself zoning out as you stared out the back window to the garden, thinking about the strange man you’d met earlier that day.

You didn’t hear the door open, and had to stop yourself from visibly jumping as your husbands voice rang out from the hallway.

“Babe! Can you grab me a beer?” He didn’t bother coming into the kitchen, and you could hear the thudding sound of his shoes being

kicked off as he collapsed onto the sofa in the next room.

“Y-yeah, coming!”

You quickly washed your hands and grabbed a beer from the double fridge freezer, taking a deep breath before you made your way into the spacious open plan lounge-dining room.

You forced a smile as you walked in, cold beer in hand and pretty sundress flowing despite the chill in the air, goosebumps ravaging your

exposed skin because your husband liked the thermostat set at a certain temperature.

“Here you go.” You handed him the beer and bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek.

He took the beer and cracked it open, without so much as a thank you or acknowledgment.

“How was your day?” You tried to make conversation as you straightened to stand next to him, to feel him out and see what sort of mood he was in.

“Fine. Is dinner ready yet?” He mumbled before sipping his beer.

“Almost, it’ll be about 10 minutes.” You said gently, keeping your voice light. There’s nothing wrong, so don’t act like it, you thought to yourself.

You could see Wyatt visibly tense, annoyance clouding over his features and your heart began to race.

“What you been doin’ all day? You don’t work, we don’t have kids, why the fuck isn’t dinner ready yet? Huh?”

You flinched at the tone of his voice but tried to keep your composure. “I’m sorry honey, I know. It should be, I didn’t realise the chicken hadn’t properly thawed, it’s just taking a little longer to cook is all.” You lied through your teeth.

You had been a little distracted after your encounter with Hasil earlier, and you’d taken a little longer to get ready, struggling to scrub the dirt from under your nails, your makeup not going on quite right, all the little things that delayed dinner.

You could tell your explanation wasn’t good enough, and Wyatt stared at you with something that could only be described as mistrust.

“What you been doin’ today, huh?” He asked, his voice real low, something you’d come to realise was a dangerous thing.

You swallowed hard as you stepped back slowly.

“Gardening, I pulled out loads of weeds, trying to make it pretty for summer.”

“Why are you fucking lying?!” He suddenly belted, his beer can flying into the wall behind the television.

You blinked away tears as you tried not to show weakness.

“I promise you, I’ve been gardening all day!”

“Then why ain’t there any dirt under your nails, huh? You been gardening with a full face of makeup too? Who you tryna impress?”

“I- I-“ you stuttered, unsure which question to defend first without angering him further.

“I- I- I!” He mocked you, “What are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing, for gods sake! I scrubbed my nails because I know you hate them dirty! I put the makeup on after I showered and-“

Wyatt’s face was red, furious that you had decided to defend yourself, and he grabbed you by your hair in his vice grip.

“What the fuck did I tell you about talking back, huh?” He shook your head and you fought to hold the tears back, clenching your jaw.

“Wyatt, you’re being excessive. Stop.”

You realised immediately that you’d made a mistake, when the back of his hand smacked across your face with blinding strength that made you see stars as you fell to the floor.

“Get me another fuckin’ beer.” He spat down at you as you fought to catch your breath.

You ate in silence that night, and then you went straight to the bathroom to remove your makeup got into bed.

You could tell Wyatt’s mood had begun to change because he started to soften.

You felt the bed dip behind you as he climbed into bed, and a few seconds later his heavy hand was squeezing your hip apologetically.

“I’m sorry baby. I just had a real bad day at work is all… can you forgive me?” His kissed your shoulder and pulled you into him.

“Of course.” You croaked, biting back the tears, “I’m tired, gonna get some sleep now.”

Wyatt let go of you and rolled over, the bedside lamp clicked off, and you forced yourself to sleep.

It wasn’t the first time you’d gone to bed on those terms, false reconciliation for the sake of peace, and you knew it definitely wouldn’t be the last.

——————————

“White or rye?” You murmured, absentmindedly reading the back of the breads packaging.

“Rye, nothin’ better than that with a good chunk of melted cheese.” Wyatt grinned, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

You smiled in amusement as you placed the bread in your cart and pushed it towards the fridges, “I guess I’d better grab some more cheese then too.”

“Ooh baby, you treat me too good!”

His arm snuck over your shoulder and he kissed your head.

“Wyatt! Is that you buddy?” A voice called from down an isle towards the checkout counters. You both turned to see someone waving, a basket in their other hand.

“Ricky!” Wyatt chuckled, “Honey I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna go say hello, haven’t seen him in years.”

Wyatt kissed your cheek, “Go ahead, I’ll be down here.” You smiled.

The good days were really good, when he was on a high it really was sky high, and on those days he treated you well, and although you knew it was temporary, you could relax somewhat. You really enjoyed the brief moments when he treated you like someone he loved and respected.

Relieved to have some space while you finished you shopping, you pushed the cart towards the dairy section at the back, and began to eye up different cheeses and spreads.

You could hear Wyatt and Ricky catching up down the far end out of sight, laughing like little boys talking about something naughty.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed a large slab of cheddar off of the fridge shelf, placing it in your cart.

“Y/N…” you heard a soft, familiar voice behind you, and you swung around.

“Hasil, hi.” You whispered, a smile spreading across your face involuntarily.

Hasil moved closer, dipping his head and lowering his voice, “Why are we whisperin’?”

You bit back a chuckle and stopped to listen, you could still hear Wyatt chatting away.

“My… my husbands down there. He wouldn’t be so happy if he found us talking.”

Hasil nodded, “He an unkind man?”

“Uh… no… just a jealous man.” You lied, pushing the cart further down the back isles in hopes of being more out of sight.

“He who gave you that there bruise?” Hasil frowned, gently lifting your wrist to inspect the purple mark that had bloomed.

You were quiet for a moment as you looked at Hasil, his eyes so soft compared to the man you shared a bed with.

“No… I must have hit it against a door or something.”

You faked a smile and pulled your wrist out of his grip, looking around to make sure there were no eyes on you.

Hasil nodded, but his face indicated that he knew you were lying.

“You doing your weekly shopping?” You asked, changing the subject as you continued to walk.

“Not exactly.” He grinned, finding your question amusing, “I saw you come in and thought I’d come say hi.”

You bit your cheek to stop from smiling, “That’s sweet of you, Hasil, but I think it’s probably a good idea if you left. Before my husband comes back.”

He nodded, hands on his hips as he started to step back, “I’ll stop by tomorrow, take some more of them Yarrow off your hands, if that’s alright by you?”

You smiled, “Sounds good, Hasil. Don’t come too early or too late, maybe wait until the car is off the drive?” You dropped your voice real low, suddenly feeling guilty.

“I’ll see you then, Y/N.” Hasil grinned before he disappeared down an isle just in time, as Wyatt returned, face fallen and brow drawn.

His mood had changed, his face as dark as the night before, and your spine straightened in anticipation. Had he seen or heard you speaking with Hasil?

“Nice catch up?” You asked with a smile, pretending to browse the shelves for things you didn’t really need, while your heart thudded against your chest at a sickening speed.

“Let’s get going, hurry up.”

You nodded, pushing the cart towards the checkout counters. “Everything okay, honey?”

“Ricky said he saw a Farrell come in here just before him, they’re bad news and it’s usually a sign of bad things to come when they come down off that mountain, let’s just get goin’ alright?” He placed his hand on your lower back to speed you along.

You nodded, but you so badly wanted to ask questions.

“Why are the Farrell’s bad news?” But you knew better than to ask.

“Come down from where?” But that was a bad idea.

So you kept your mouth shut and smiled while your items were checked out and paid for.

The car journey was quiet, and you stared out the window, wondering how much longer until you could just go to bed, because you knew once a bad mood started to brew, it likely wouldn’t go away for a long while.

While you stared out the window, Wyatt’s eyes trained on the road, you swore you saw a face in the trees, watching over you until you made it home safe.

———————————

Dinner was tense but ultimately you managed some small talk.

“Who…” you cleared your throat, “who are the Farrell’s you mentioned earlier?”

Wyatt’s eyes shot up at you, like mentioning their name was some sort of admission of guilt.

He answered, nonetheless. “Mountain people, they’ve been living up on Shay mountain for hundreds of years. Proper animals they are, don’t live by the rules the rest of us have to abide by. Should be shot, the lot of them.” He pointed his knife towards the window in the direction of the mountain. “Luckily, it’s not often they come down. It’s only when they want somethin’.”

“Just as well, we won’t need to bother ourselves with them.” Your heart thudded, but you forced a smile.

Gotta show him who’s side you’re on, keep him happy.

In bed that night, you stared out the window at the moon that shone over Shay mountain and you struggled to sleep, unsure how you felt that one of those very mountain folk would be coming for a visit tomorrow. You wondered how they lived up there, and what their lives were like.

By morning, you were once again filled with excitement, you had so many questions you wanted to ask Hasil, questions that kept you up all night.

Once Wyatt left for work, you changed into a sun dress and made your way out into the garden, wasting no time uprooting weed after weed and placing them into a large tote bag.

Before long you felt eyes on you, and you turned to look past the little stream.

“Morning Hasil.” You grinned, waving him over.

“Mornin’ ma’am.” He smiled, effortlessly hopping over the stones through the stream that separated the land.

You picked up the tote bag and walked to meet him, handing the bag over.

“My, you really meant it when you said ‘plenty more’ huh?” He chuckled.

“That’s not even the half of it, to be frank.”

“Who’s Frank?” He cocked his head, and you threw your head back with a surprised laugh.

“What?” He asked, a grin playing on his lips.

“Nothing, Hasil. It’s just a saying.” You bit your cheek.

“I like it when you laugh.” He stated, “Its like… when a ray of sun comes down and warms you up on a cold day.”

This took you aback slightly, and you watched him curiously.

“Hasil would you like to come in for a cup of coffee, or tea?”

Hasil nodded, placing the tote bag on the ground, “As long as I wouldn’t be an imposition, that would be swell.”

You showed Hasil inside and he walked around, looking at picture frames and ornaments in your perfectly neat home.

You put the coffee machine on and placed two mugs on the counter, “How do you like your coffee?” You called out to him.

“I like it just fine.” He responded, and you had to stifle another giggle.

“No, I mean… do you take sugar, cream?”

Hasil appeared in the kitchen doorway, hands on his hips, looking like a lost little lamb.

“I’ll have it however you have it.” He said awkwardly.

You smiled and nodded at him over your shoulder as you made the drinks.

Hasil walked around the kitchen and inspected the appliances, stopping in front of the giant fridge.

He pressed down on the ice dispenser and jumped back in surprise as a chunk of ice flew out onto the floor.

You let out a snort and you started laughing again, this time unable to stop yourself when the look of shock on his face was too much to handle.

You laughed until your stomach hurt and you were doubled over, and Hasil began to laugh himself.

You laughed until you started to cry, and Hasil’s smile fell from his face, and he walked over to you with concern.

Your laughter turned into sobbing, and you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Hey, hey… why are you upset? Did I do something?” Hasil said, taking your hands and removing them from your face to look at you.

You shook your head and sucked in some air in between sobs, until you had stopped enough to speak.

“I haven’t laughed like that in years, Hasil. It just made me sad for a minute is all.” You sniffed.

“Oh darlin’, it’s alright, come here.” He gently pulled you into him and wrapped his arms around you. You noticed he smelled oaky, a hint of mint and pine, but not dirty. You breathed in his soothing, earthy scent, immediately feeling relaxed and you melted against his touch.

“You feelin’ better?” His hand gently stroking your hair.

You nodded against his chest, “Thank you.”

You stood there for a while, taking deep breaths in the bright kitchen, and for the first time in a while you felt relieved.

The relief was short lived however, and you thought it was your mind playing tricks on you at first. But when you lifted your head from his chest, you heard the gravel crunching under tyres as someone pulled up on your driveway, and your stomach dropped.

“Hasil, you need to get out of here.” You whispered urgently, taking his wrist and leading him towards the hallway.

You were nearly at the back door, but keys jingled in the lock behind you and you knew you were out of time.

Turning towards the front door, your body froze and it swung open.

“Babe I’m home!”

————————————

- Part 2 Here -

Taglist open

I can’t help but imagine Wyatt as Morgan Wallen 😭😂 I love Morgan but his face is all I see as the dickhead husband

[nyxscave]

Went to the lab and installed my machine learning model with my ex-prof advisee again, because they formatted the machine a few weeks ago. Everything went smoothly (just the paths that uuuggghh they are the easiest part but also the worst), but I had to go earlier than planned because I wasn't feeling very well. But it's done, finally!

Tw for mental health crisis and related below the cut

Yesterday I did some exams and went to the doc; she suspects I have hyperthyroidism instead of anxiety, which does make sense, because it's been a month already and I still feel bad 24/7; I have to wait for the results next week, regardless.

I think that having someone hear my symptoms and take them seriously without mocking me or telling it's all in my head made me slightly overwhelmed, though. It's the first time in a good while I'm having such a prolonged health issues, mental or not, and it's scary. But because I act the same around people, they tell me "oh but you don't look sick" or, the best one yet: "if that kills you anyway, at least it doesn't look like it'll hurt, so you won't even know you died". I don't react much to those externally, but I do wish someone took me a bit more seriously. Anxiety or something else, I'm having real pain, one that I didn't used to have before, and it's scary. I'm dealing with it alone, taking initiative to go to the doctor and have my blood drawn alone, and it does take a toll.

I got home yesterday and started crying, not because the doc was horrible or the exams hurt, but just because I was having a bad day, to the point I locked myself in the shopping bathroom a few times just so I could sit still, breathe and see if my arrhythmia passed. The crying was met with anger, though, and "I know what that is, it's anxiety and it's my fault, all my fault" thrown at me. Maybe it is, maybe not; but the outburst and the screams and all the fighting that came afterwards made me hyperventilate so bad and for so long my muscles locked up. I couldn't move my hands at all and my arms and face were numb while I tried to just breathe and stop listening to the screaming.

It all lasted for an hour only. Almost coudn't eat dinner after and went to bed at 8. Slept for 12 hours.

Today everything is normal again. No fighting, no screaming. My shoulder/neck muscles are sore from the stress and woke up with my eyes looking like two golf balls. I still feel chest pain, I still don't know what's wrong, and I blame my own tears and weakness and overwhelm for causing whatever the fuck last night was, just like always. Because I know, by now, what reactions my reactions cause, and although I couldn't help my tears from falling and everything from blowing up, I can't help but wish they were met with kindness and a gentle hand on my shoulder, instead.

Whatever it is that I have, though, isn't life threatening or too serious, despite being annoying and scary. I'll update on the exam results next week.

[skipppppy]

CARMEN SANDIEGO CHARACTERS + MOVIES

Boo I felt like making headcanons again bc I spend more time wondering what these assholes do in their free time than I do on my job

CARMEN

Didn’t have access to movies growing up so Player, Zack, and Ivy have been catching her up on the most popular ones

HORRIBLE to watch with. Doesn’t really understand “suspension of disbelief” as a concept and will ask stupid questions the whole time. Player almost ended their friendship because she nitpicked Lord of the Rings for being “unrealistic”

Enjoys low stakes 2000s girl chick flicks like mean girls and legally blonde. She has enough stress in her life man she just wants to relax

HATES heist movies because of how innacurate they are. Team Red has taken to watching them JUST to hear her pick them apart

PLAYER

Sci-fi/fantasy junkie. Anything and everything that has aliens/magic and shitty practical effects from the 80’s/90’s he is all over

Has never said a single kind thing about the Star Wars franchise in his life. They are his favourite movies of all time

ADORES Edgar Wright and has slowly been converting Team Red to his movies. Zack loved Baby Driver. Ivy loved Shaun of the Dead. Shadowsan loved Hot Fuzz. He considers Scott Pilgrim the pinnacle of Canadian cinema

Cannot STAND the amount of remakes happening in Hollywood recently

ZACK

Canon enjoyer of blockbuster action movies. Everyone dreads the nights when he gets to choose a film bc his taste is so generic

Does not know what the Snyder cut is. Thank god

His only redeeming quality is a love of early dreamworks. Will not stop quoting Madnagascar

Has seen every Marvel movie and thinks all of them are good. Player has BEGGED him to watch better movies but he won’t. He’s the type to rag on Scorsese for being “boring”

Has seen Kevin Feige’s extended filmography. Does not know who that man is

IVY

Horror fanatic

Banned from choosing movies for film night after convincing them to watch her “favourite lesbian romcom” with her. That lesbian romcom was Saw

Ellen Ripley was not only her personal hero but also her gay awakening. The Xenomorph queen was her second gay awakening

Also loves period dramas. Enjoys the tiddies and knows she would look SO good in those fancy waistcoats the men wear

Watches old slashers with Carmen and laugh whenever someone dies in a stupid way

SHADOWSAN

Faculty considered movies “low brow” entertainment so he hasn’t seen a movie made before the year 2000

Loves a good mob flick. Got into Scorsese specifically because Zack hated him. Goodfellas is his favourite

Everyone assumes he enjoys samurai movies but he actually HATES them. Hideo would ramble about historical inaccuracies the whole way through and he’s still bored just thinking about it

Used to love Yakuza films back in the day but they were soured for him after actually living as one

Loved Knives Out, found Daniel Craig VERY attractive, and has since fallen down the James Bond rabbit hole

CHASE

The most pretentious film hack you’ve ever met in your life. He is taking you to a back alley screening of some arthouse eastern european gay porn on a first date and it will be the most profound thing you’ve ever seen in your life

Detective noir movies and cheesy black and white romances are his favourites. He likes falling asleep to them

He and Player both appreciate animation as a form of cinema, but while Player is referring to like. the Mario movie, Chase is talking about some 3 minute Russian stopmotion surrealist piece from 1951. He attends Annecy every year and has been banned from the Oscars due to threats of violence

He likes Poirot tho. Transmasc king

JULIA

If she has a few hours to herself she’d rather watch a documentary than go to a movie theatre, but she loves historical dramas

Enjoys biopics but thinks it’s stupid to make them for people who are alive

Likes watching movies for the sake of trash talking them, so she is the only person who can tolerate sitting through one with Carmen

LOVES Wes Anderson though. Chase got her into his stuff and the symmetry scratches an itch in her brain. But don’t tell him that

Also enjoys period dramas for the tiddies

CHIEF

Shitty cop movie enjoyer. The kind of person who insists that Die Hard is her favourite christmas movie

LOVES heist movies because of how inaccurate they are. Will mentally nitpick whatever secret service is going after them and be like “ACME wouldn’t do that lol”

She’s semi aware that she’s the antoagonist in Carmen’s own heist narrative so she’s started having fun with it

Closet lover of b-tier comedy movies. Like the ones with Adam Sandler and Kevin Hart on the cover

Does not enjoy watching movies socially. That is quality time for her and her cat. She does not have to shush Commander

[ateez-himari]

i’ve been thinking of the accident all day (and the fight bcuz if i was himari and joong said that stuff to me i would’ve died from that alone😭) i was wondering what was her family’s reaction to her almost/basically dying?

So Himari actually didn't tell anyone about what happened, it was the company CEO that had to deliver the unfortunate news;

Hanzo was the first person to find out about the accident and was rather literally frozen in shock, reading the company's message several times in order to make sure that this was not just some horrible nightmare. When the reality of the situation finally hit he bought the very first plane ticket available (from France to Korea) and hurried over to his little sister's dorm the second that the plane touched down, still in between denial and panic. When Himari opened the door visually unscathed, bright eyes wide in surprise at the unexpected visit, he finally burst into tears, taking her into his arms so tightly that had she been any weaker she likely would have broken, his fingers wrapped around the pulse point on her wrist just to make sure that she was indeed alive. That night, Hanzo fell asleep on the floor next to her bed, holding his little sister's hand and waking up several times just to check that she was indeed still breathing - it took quite a long time for him to accept her going back to idol activities and he lived under heavy stress until eventually slowly healing.

Yoongi was on tour when the news reached him and, unable to deal with the reality of what had happened, shut off his phone, not picking it up for three days straight until the second Rosemont stop, where even then it was simply to purchase a plane ticket back to Korea. Himari was in the dance studio when he found her and unlike Hanzo, he stood there for several moments, attempting to assess the situation at hand - which had been suppressed in his mind for several days. His hand was trembling when he reached out to touch her, almost afraid that she would disappear the moment he got close, slowly cupping her cheek before pulling her into his chest - though refusing to cry in front of her. He was numb for quite some time towards the accident, refusing to even acknowledge that it was even real until he eventually sat her down to talk about it, trying to understand exactly what happened that day - which in some sense had a hand in the creation of Amygdala.

Geum Jae & Her Parents were absolutely horrified, immediately calling the young woman and asking for confirmation regarding the news, which she reluctantly gave them. Himari went to visit them a few days later to assure them that everything was fine now, but with a comeback right around the corner they practically begged her not to take part in it - absolutely terrified that their daughter/younger sister would be taken away from them. The maknae assured them that they now had a larger medical team that were constantly looking after her health, and despite still being very reluctant towards the situation, they eventually decided to trust her. To this day however they still track her health very closely, call her often to make sure she is healthy, and at times will have bursts of panic

[twstedteaparty]

Just a small thin that had been brewing for a bit.

It’s supposed to be a leoide more Centered around Leona and my head cannons around his relationship with falena and there age gap (all based on my own brother and i) not adding dialogue i hate writing that stuff so much but im also trying to just get better and setting the scene and like exposition.

Also I pushing my Idia is a little more fucked up then people seem to realized and that he’s cleaner then people realize agenda because I’m sic of people stereotyping him as a gross gamer boy

I’m also pushing my Leona cares more then he lets on and they Idia fell first and miraculously Leona fell about a throsand times harder

From the day Leona was born falena loved the little cub he was 10 almost 11 when Leona was born his parents didn’t even get a name out before falena had (accidentally) called the little cub Leona and they all accepted it. Falena would take Leona with him every where he could since he parents where never really around. They were off doing royal stuff and talking with the elders, so falena took care of the little cub.

By the time Leona was 11, falena was in power over the kingdom. He still made time for his little brother. Tho the one time he was left un attended he’d gotten attacked by a turkey vulture and got injured. Falena was there to pick him up and get him fixed.

There falling out had happend three years after that. Falena had started courting the captain of the gauards. A gorgeous and strong woman, Leona couldent stand it he’d felt like he’d lost his brother the only person who seems to care about him that dident veiw him horribly. He kept his mouth shut and pretended to be happy about it. It’s not like it had matters to much once falena had an heir Leona could never become king. Hatred and resentment bubbled up slowly.

Cheka came around a year later. Leona got to hold him. He through the little cub looked goofy the falena assured him that’s how they all looked. The first year with Cheka around was fine tho the second year it became a pain tho despite that he stayed around to help.

July was always the worst both his parents had passed away during that month. His father died 17 days before his birthday and his mother only died 8 days before his birthday. He hated it. He dident even cry at there funeral. He wasent close to them anyways. Tho on his 17th birthday he’d finally decided to go to night raven just to escape from home and all the chaos.

His first and second year go off with out a hitch. He stayed behind the first winter. He figured he’d have been alone. He was sitting in the cafeteria (the only part of school still open) staring at a blue haired boy and his robot. Luckily for him Idia (which he’d heart come out of the robots mouth) wasent paying attention or if he was he was hiding pretty well behind the lap top screen. That was how he’d spend his morning during the winter break after that. Tho after his second year he dident see Idia around as much.

Tho that had also changed quickly during there third year. After his own overblot and his brother worring he’d decided to say fuck it and embrace some positive emotions so with Ruggie help he carefully started trying to court Idia tho it was hard to tell if it was working since he never saw idias reaction. Although he’d heard from ortho that Idia had seemed a bit more cheerful since he’d descoverd somebody actually liked him.

At some point Leona properly confesssed. If he had to recall correctly once they were all back from S.T.Y.X he whent to go find Idia. It had taken him awhile. Idias dorm was the only one what had a bathroom attached to it with a full working shower. he’d found Idia curled up in the shower since it was away from people and it was dark. He’d held Idia for what seems like hours.

Idia had been stressed out forcing him self to stay some what rational during his time as acting director for S.T.Y.X. Hed been muttering the whole time about how sorry he was for putting all the other house wardens through that and for even over blotting in the first place. He felt bad that the house wardens basically had to stop him and that he’d potentially hurt them more than they let on.

Leona had to shut idias muttering up some how So he had kissed him and shut him right up. The rest of the year was blurry but during there fourth year they kept in contact via text then graduated.

After that Leona wound up staying with Idia.it took quite a bit to convince the elders that this would be good for public relations and would strengthen the kingdom and some other bull shit. There wedding was small really it was only Cheka ortho falena and his wife plus some of there old school mates. Yuu officiated the wedding, Leona found that funny.

Staying with Idia it left no room for him to be second to anything. Idia would stop his work to spend time with Leona. They made sure to play duo game. They were absolutely eachothers world and it showed.

[kitty-chan-art-den]

Name: Amakasu Yumi (甘粕裕美)

Age: 18

Grade: 12

Conditions: Dilated cardiomyopathy, stage II lipedema

Personality: Sweet, loving, motherly. Protective of the people she cares about, but extremely insecure deep down. She wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t always feel comfortable making her own decisions. She doesn’t like to say that she hates anyone, and believes people can improve if given just the right encouragement. Believes she will never have a partner, but is fine with that as long as she makes just one person’s day a little brighter.

Extra Info: Expected to take over the family business practically since she was born, Yumi grew up not knowing much else about the world outside of the expectation that she would be a pastry chef someday. And, unlike most that ended up rebelling, this sweet girl wound up not only excelling in baking, but cooking as well! She adored working in the kitchen; it was her domain, her safe space, her escape from the world. When she was stressed or upset, the kitchen became a symphony of smells that soothed her worries. Though she found herself horrifically bullied due to her being overweight as a child, she didn’t let it stop her from being passionate about her craft. As she became more and more proficient, she learned that if she made good food for others, they were less likely to treat her badly, or they would at least go a little easier as she had access to their stomachs, and it made her quite popular. Gaining attention and affection she hadn’t known she was missing from her home life, she became desperate for it. It pushed her to keep baking and cooking for others, and it became part of her daily routine for eating. If she wasn’t eating with other people, she would refuse to eat at all. Her parents were none the wiser.

As she got into high school, she met Yuki in her first year as a result of her joining the cooking club and serving (almost) everyone hot dog octopus. Seeing that he seemed to have a difficult time integrating over the next week, she decided to start helping Yuki learn the ins and outs of getting around the school, and offered him the cooking club room as a safe space if he ever struggled to eat or find a quiet place to sit. Over the next few years, she developed a quiet crush on him, seeing him as a viable partner due to how he treated his sister and took care of her. However, being as unconfident in herself as she was, she was happy to simply be friends and help make sure he ate every day and even making sure he had food to bring home for Jin. If Hifumi is still alive, she’s on Aina’s side in terms of making sure she ends up with Yuki, but she still appreciates Yumi just a touch more. Yumi is genuinely much sweeter than any other girl that Hifumi has ever seen approach him, and Hifumi ends up torn between Yumi and Aina. Aina has a number of options for getting Yumi out of the way, namely by befriending her and helping her save her nearby bakery from a horrible incident that threatens to nearly shut it down. Yumi trusts Aina, and if Aina promises to help her find love in the future, then Yumi will tell Yuki that someone else is much better for him than her, but she still wants to be friends and keep the same connection they’ve always had. He’s a great friend, and she’d hate to lose that.

If Aina chooses to go full genocide, her week (following Hifumi, Sora, and Mizuki’s deaths) will be a fairly short one. Morale is extremely low after four girls have either left the school or died mysteriously, and security has been increased. Yumi does her best to help everyone by continuing to bake and cook for her peers, but while handing out food, she’ll notice Aina acting suspicious around Yuki. If Aina doesn’t act fast, Yumi will warn Yuki of Aina’s strange actions and cause a chain reaction; Aina’s reputation will be ruined, and she’ll either be expelled or Yuki will leave the school for his and everyone else’s safety.

Her status as a rival is centred on her being in love with Yuki, but being his girlfriend isn’t her goal. She just wants to take care of him and help him let go of some controlling tendencies on his own so he doesn’t have to be wound up so tight, giving him the option to relax when he can let himself do so. When Aina is caught up in her delusions, Yumi is a major threat, having a hidden agenda to “trick” Yuki into being hers with her homemaking expertise and her overly sweet personality. Aina starts taking pointers in secret, however, and could learn tips straight from Yumi if she allows her to live.

~

I DO NOT SUPPORT YANDEREDEV.

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Post Ptolemy's Gate ramble

So I just finished Ptolemy's Gate, thoughts are a bit all over the place and aside from mentioning the obvious I thought I'd dump some thoughts here.

Piper's apathy certainly shocked me. I know she's stressed running the council and she's got loads of organisation to do but oof she sure did come across as cold in her conversation with Kitty. Kitty has that kind of apathetic resignation of grief but it really felt like Piper had already put it behind her despite it only being two days before. Her boss that she worked for died horribly to save them all and she didn't even seem to share a quiet moment of grief with Kitty idk it just felt a little brutal 😅 I had an impression of her being really sweet so I was a bit taken aback.

One thing that really stood out to me was Nathaniel's apathy to the situation, I found it really interesting. I guess something could be said about it being the magician in him.

Nathaniel really has this duality to him, the obvious being Nat vs John Mandrake and of course Nat + Bartimaeus but in chapter 36 part ii something that caught my attention

'it was the feeling of consummate superiority, the delight of power weilded without peril. He danced beneath the night sky, smiting down his enemies.'

It already seems as if he's being elevated to something other- a martyr perhaps, except martyrs have causes and ideals, they do something because they have a strong belief in their justness. And Nathaniel:

'He felt aloof disconnected and alone. If his hatred for demons he had killed was dull and almost matter-of-fact, so was his sympathy for the people whose lives he saved.'

So he seems almost like an avenging angel, I love the religious imagery, especially because it seems to call back to Bartimaeus comparing his body to a holy mosque. But also divine rage is the driving force for an avenging angel and he's no longer even angry at the destruction caused.

'Pride spurred him on.' this almost makes him seem God-like?? His sole motivator is the pride of a deity, and I love that. But it's also just very true to him as a boy, pride spurred him on against Lovelace and against Duval and Whitwell.

When he's alone with Bartimaeus he's taken on this air of not being entirely human. He feels alone and solitary from everything including humaity. But when he rejoins Kitty, Piper and the rest of the magicians waiting for him he's reinvigorated - 'he felt a surge of joyful impatience - 'he would detroy Nouda, rescue the commoners and return to Kitty.' it seems as though he has to be surrounded by people to remind himself he's one of them. It could be seen as an effect of sharing a mind with Bartimaeus, but of course it could be Nathaniel's own human pride and his memories of being othered even as a child. Just gives the impression of this human / higher entity duality.

But also I partly got the impression that this hints to depression- I'm sure it's hardly out of the realm of possibility for Nat to have it. Though it's never stated I think several moments in the books make a good argument for it, including the above- just the numbness to everything. And I guess the sudden change in demeanor at 'surge of joyful impatience' can be read as hopefulness, but it reminded me of the saying that when people have decided to follow through on their s*icidal ideation they come across as happy and like a weight has been lifted from them. Nathaniel is impressively calm for someone who realises he's gravely injured. And while he can be seen as a martyr or hero for his final actions, the hollowness he felt at that moment gives it a more bitter edge.

I think it's made even more sad when compared to Anthony Lockwood, who has that same sense of pride - because he's trying to make his dead parents proud and because he's trying to hide the fact that he doesn't like himself very much. Nathaniel gives this same impression. And Lockwood at the end had reason to be proud, he uncovered a huge conspiracy, his agency became the most famous in London. And Nathaniel had reason to be proud; he's managing to wield the staff of his childhood hero, something he had dreamed of doing, he's had the bravery to unite with a spirit and he's going to take down the biggest threat to London.

But Lockwood gets something Nathaniel doesn't-

There's this subtle idea seen through Lucy's eyes that Lockwood's biggest achievement was fighting through his s*icidal ideation and discovering he has something to live for, even just seeing his friends again.

And Nathaniel just doesn't get that moment.

He sort of acknowledges that he doesn't have to be a powerful leader, that he doesn't need his colleagues approval, that he doesn't need to erase the fear the commoners have of him and other magicians, but without these things he doesn't know what to do with himself. He has no plan for the future, because even before he's injured the idea of a future doesn't seem to have much appeal to him. He already appears to have given up on trying to uncover who Nathaniel is, depite finally having the opportunity to. Like after everything- being beaten, the fear of his colleagues trying to harm him and burying himself in the John Mandrake persona to protect his sensitive side- he doesn't want to uncover the remnants of that boy because he's worried it'll be too difficult to put himself back together.

Or maybe he feels that he already has discovered who Nathaniel is, a deeply unhappy, hollow shell of a person, whose personality has been pulled in so many directions he no longer has a sense of self. He's been stripped back to the barest version of himself and found he doesn't even have the foundations upon which to rebuild himsef. Like discovering dry rot in your walls and you keep pulling and pulling bits of rotting wood away from the home until you've finally got it all, only to realise the house has come down around you- there's nothing left.

He doesn't get this moment where he works through his trauma, where he realises he has a support system, where he realises he's loved. I don't know if Nathaniel ever really knew what it felt like to be loved. I don't think he did. Ptolemy's death was awful and heartbreaking but his short life was filled with affection. And Lockwood realises people do care about him, depite being told that no one does. It hurts so much that Nat felt isolated and alone his whole life, right up to the last minute. Potential love confessions aside, Nathaniel never got a chance to sit and bathe in the warmness of affection. Like Bartimaeus tells him, it's about 'being not doing.' Nathaniel never got to understand the importance of just being, of simply existing as himself or of being happy. He constantly had to be working on the next goal, the next plan, because if he stops working he'll be forced to sit with his thoughts and realise how unhappy he is. And the thought of that is just too much to bear, it's so much easier to give in.

The ending gave the impression of being very romantic, while sad. Nathaniel gets to be remembered as a hero and never has to confront the consequences of his actions with wars in Europe and America that he had a direct role in. Acknowledging his role and dealing with fallout are two very different mountains to climb. And I think that idea of dying like a hero perfectly appeals to Nathaniel's prideful tendencies, and maybe he views it that way to hide the fact it's a convenient way out of his unhappiness and confronting what he's done. It's quite interesting to see that after he's been stripped back to nothing and can't figure out who or what he wants to be if he gets the chance, he still has that vanity and arrogance to him- despite not really being good character traits, they're so authentically Nathaniel, he's been that way right from the start and it's nice little peak of the real him at the end, being so humanly flawed.

[1ris5starlight]

Well, It's trauma, so yeah-

(0:55) They're depressed and they can't do anything about it!

(1:27) UHHH- Moon's almost died again and Sun got almost kidnapped again.

(3:00) and that was what a good friend would do, good job Monty!

(4:42) Oh god....that must have felt horrible...

(5:25) oh Moony...

(7:46) ....It breaks me so much seeing and hearing them like this...💔

(9:40) Sun sounds so broken and tired too...💔

(10:36) And you're not the only one that has it....

(11:21) Moon, you can't control that type of stuff, it doesn't matter how smart you are, there will be always someone smarter than you, but it doesn't mean you should give up; you can always try and it doesn't matter if you fall, because you will always get up and try again if you really want and there will be people who will help, no matter what like your family!

(14:57) Yeah, I suggest that too..!!

(16:40) See? Talking about your problems works! It makes you feel a little betterat least!

(16:58) !!!!.....Moon...never called Sun that before(as we know at least) ...."Sunlight"...it is a cute nickname..!!!

(17:39) Yeah, it is...much more than anyone can think of...

(17:58) Yeah, it is normal I think, but you should really stop that, because you're hurting yourself, ok? Sun knows that feeling too much well and he also told you to stop, so pls stop ok..?

(19:23) It's normal, don't worry..

(21:10) Ptf- Lunar always knows how to light up the mood❤

(25:45) PTF- Oh god-🤭

Earth and Sun are really good siblings to Moon!❤

(I also think that Moon got the fidgeting-with-hands thing from Sun, because he was and is always the one who do this type of stuff when he's stressed or uncomfortable).

[din0lover]

Funny post of all the little "ghosties" talking moments in the captions

(It's ccbbh but also there might be some missing I did the best I could in trying to get it all lol enjoy!)

-

Signs of Pomme and Ramon

/

"Fudge I missed the sign"

"Maybe bad should stay dead a bit longer"

"Stress never killed anybody, except for the people it did"

"Isn't that cannibalism " (referring to pomme apple die comment)

-

Zinc cave

"Richas is going to die" (richas digging straight down)

" Oh Fudge not this one" (referring to cave they went into go collect zinc)

"This is limestone not zinc"

"Look how pretty"

"Let's go mine proceeds to mine limestone"

"These statements are now canonical ghosty thoughts"

"The block looks chewable" (referring to the limestone block)

/

"Canonical ghosty bathroom break"

"And canonically left alone" (after he got back from the bathroom break)

/

"There are going to be so mad at us when the eggs die" (after richas digs straight down deeper into the cave)

"Ghosties have bad hand eye coordination" (after falling in lava)

"50 zinc that's enough to make 1/10 of a drill"

"Free stuff"

"Lucy what are you doing over there"

"Later peasants I'm warping away, what the Fudge, that's crazy" (referring to richas warping out of the cave)

-

Leaving Zinc Cave

"All your stones belongs to me"

"Give me your stone I'm going to eat it all"

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom"

(ramon and pomme digging up out of the cave)

/

"Well this is the end for me I'm afraid"

"Should've taken those swimming lessons"

(Water bucket was placed down for a split second this guy is so dramatic LOL)

/

"You know, I'm holding sugar cane, it's magic, but why am I holding sugar cane? Is it a coincidence Or is there a higher meaning to it? Not even caption viewers will find out"

/

"Yep some of you realized all stream it was me reading the signs."

"Yep what you thought it was magic?, no I was reading them."

"The entire time thats where the captions come from."

"No way /j"

"The poor people without the captions right now."

/

That's it Ramon takes one call, I'm going to narrate their actions"

"Pomme looks around aimlessly "

"Ramon thinks I'm done cave mining it's probably best to leave"

"Pomme thinks Fudge dirt that means we're close to the surface but I hate digging through it."

"Don't worry we're good"

"Now it's off to do more adventuring"

"Sorry I'll stop being silly"

-

Finally out of the Zinc Cave

"You got this

You got this

You got this

You got this

You got this

You can do it"

"Freedom of fudge, worst ad time ever"

"Actually no we had some horribly timed ads."

"Dumbo, the moon, why did it translate it to that? I think there was a mistranslation chat."

"And pomme sacrifices Ramon to the squids" (Ramon fell out of the boat)

"Hey guys maybe we should take that zinc to Badboyhalo house instead"

-

Repairing the town of Fobo farm

/

Richas : "I mean I am not human I don't know, that works with tio dad and my dad's"

Ccbbh aka "ghosties" : "he's onto something "

/

"Huh bird"

"Nosy ghosties"

"Lucy Hi"

"So wholesome"

/

"3 minutes till restart"

"One minute before void"

"Toxic not the backup"

"The lore killer"

/

"Sometimes I still hear his voice" (referring to bbh it's almost like we can still hear him in the after life)

/

"There comes a day in every pet owners life" (referring to richas killing his caged amethyst crab)

/

"It is a good way to keep memories, if only bad was doing that." (That vile man he needs to be put in a panini press)

/

"I'm running out of sad music"

/

"Guys stop trolling the Chatters and telling them I died IRL"

"I can still hear his voice"

/

-

Group hug for all

/

"And it's a group hug"

"Get down here richas it's group hug time"

"Oh my gosh he is dying"

"Okay now he is good"

"Group hug richas, don't let him go up"

"Don't let him wiggle his way up there"

/

"He can't get away from The Angst train,there's a train and it's full angst"

"I love angst"

"I'm going to be honest this has been a very wholesome night but it is a lot of angst."

"Choo Choo"

-

Richas getting down again

/

"Crazy people oh my gosh"

"Gave me a heart attack right now"

"Oh my gosh they actually just trying to kill him in front of me"

"That's crazy"

"Where's you armor ?! He's not wearing armor!"

"Oh my gosh just let him die, finish him now"

"That be the worst time for a creeper to just slither its way and explode right next to them "

"Like actual nightmare fuel"

"You're going to give me a heart attack"

"He's going to die chat like if we don't see the death and no one else is online it doesn't really happen."

"It's like a tree that falls in the forest, and no one around here it doesn't make a noise."

"Pretty sure that's how it works chat mathematically "

-

Slight BBH love <3<3

- "I'm sorry chat thus has been a long stream, I'm trying to keep myself chucking along, I'm enjoying it but it is a long stream."

"Two really long streams in a row"

(Peace and love ccbbh thanks for the long streams with the eggs and other memes <3<3)

-

Back to richas and his vendetta against group hugs

/

"Rebel Richas, no hugs, hugs are for the weak"

/

"Oh my gosh they're going to actually kill him, I need to make sure to look away before he dies"

*looks away*

"There we go"

"If I dont see the death it doesn't count"

/

"This is like a slightly unhinged nature documentary "

"Bros really going to fall and die literally if he's not careful oh my gosh"

/

*commentating*

"Quick everyone lets vandalize their building even more."

/

"Oh my gosh please just don't do it."

"He's going to drown."

"No don't die drowning underwater it will kill you instantly "

"Stop"

/

"Bro really said that I'm going to maybe die someday and choose that day to be today."

"He's crazy chat, oh my goodness."

"Oh my goodness please holy crap."

"Let me build or I will die, thats your only two choices here" (even after death bbh still having beef with richas that's crazy)

/

"Yippee!"

/

"Bro better-" ( looking to see if richas is wearing armor and then proceeds to find out he's wearing diamond pants)

"I've been wearing pants this whole time. "

"Someone who doesn't have their cosmetic armor off and they just see pants walking around."

/

"Mimi"

-

Back home

/

"Confused but following "

"Where am i?"

"He's still not wearing armor either "

-

Fin (I just realized that didn't bbh say he be recording his audio too? I just transcript all this for nothing I'm done on a serious note though it was fun to read the captions and hope you find slight entertainment in what I was able to capture lmk if I missed any which I probs did well im off) (also forgive me if I did some misspelling I did this really late)

Extra clip:

[b-type-a]

2 weeks since payday

The Onceler x assistant reader

Mild burn, odd behavior, uncomfortable boss, heartbroken man, everyone needs therapy, kinda joke but can be seen as serious, Tom from accounting looks like Paul Dano in my head, Delusions, obsessive behavior

WARNING: the reader is no better than him, they both are codependent in a way

A/N: This one was made on a whim, not my best work but whatever

Words: 2,335

MasterList

Another day, another slay. At least that's what I told myself when I woke up to my leaky roof and humid bedsheets. You might ask, but why? Why let the roof leak and make the bedsheets get humid and gross and possibly grow mold? Simple, I don't have money to fix the damn roof in the first place. Then you might ask, well what about your job, and that ladies, gentlemen, others, neither, is exactly why I don't have money. 

You see I work for the Onceler, a wealthy man, and not to be cliché, but I'm his personal assistant. Before you ask, no, unfortunately, he does not bend me over the desk and spoil me rotten, that's what his secretary is for apparently. No, I get extra special treatment, I get to see the even more intimate parts of him, his true self. And when I tell you it's anything but a blessing, I'm not joking. Tell me why this man asked for a coffee, I get him a coffee, and he complains I didn't get him enough coffee. I'm sorry were the five pumps of caramel and syrup, that you asked for, filling up your large coffee cup? My bad let me go bend the molecules of the cup to make it bigger, oh? You don't want a bigger cup? Sorry, let me change the rules of reality, so your cup stays the same size, but you get more coffee. Yet I in my good, kind-hearted nature decided he needed someone there for him emotionally. 

I won't lie, I have seen him in weaker moments when sales decline, and he gets stressed and has little breakdowns. I see the humanity and I feel pity, so I stick around, but at what cost, my downfall, apparently. Because showing weakness locked me in forever I guess, now even if I died, he’d probably find some way to bring me back from the dead. Just to complain about the taste of his cream cheese bagel, and how no one does it like he likes it, unless when I make it. Sometimes I wonder if the secretary has it better, but then I remember how easily replaceable she is and come to the conclusion, yes, she has it easier because at least she can be free one day. Also, this whole time I was driving to work by the way, I know, you probably still imagined me in bed, but I'm a maladaptive daydreamer I have these kinds of conversations with myself while getting work done. Anyway, as much as I like inner dialogue at some point I'll have to encounter real talking, like with others, and enjoy the silence with me for only a moment longer.

KNOCK KNOCK

Moment of silence ruined, I look over to my left and see the bishop boy, no older than 17, no younger than 15, he's a bubbly kid, with a Brooklyn accent, slick back hair, Jesse from Full House aesthetic. he was a good kid, a great kid even, but I wasn't really in the mood for his usual morning greeting that consisted of many questions.

“Mornin’, how has your mornin’ been? Mine's been well, did you eat today? I didn't, I was almost late today, how was traffic?” I nodded my head along, not retaining any information the kid was springing at me.

“That's lovely kiddo, wanna let me in, thanks” The kid chuckled and nodded going over and pressing the buzzer, opening the gates.

I waved in thanks before driving up into the parking spot just for the Onceler's personal team, I pulled my car up next to the secretary’s car and parked. Glancing over, I see Tom from accounting in the passenger seat back and the windows seemed fogged up. I rather not think too hard about it, and quickly got out of my car and rushed inside. As I make my way down the long, horribly red and green hallways, I question why I keep coming back. If I haven't made it clear, which I doubt I have I never do, I haven't gotten a paycheck for about two weeks. Yup, you heard me, two weeks. I am also pretty sure I've made it this far because he pays for my bills. But also, he doesn't give me extra money for things like my leaky roof, clothes, eating out in places, not that I need to do that last one. He always takes me somewhere to eat for lunch as an excuse not to go to meetings. Still, I kinda like the other two things, he gives me enough to survive but not to live, you know. 

I walk up to the big doors I've grown to resent, glancing at the secretary's desk, she's obviously not there, she was busy with Tom in the parking lot after all. I mean, pop off I guess, none of my business. I look back up, pushing past the doors and seeing the man himself, being a stalker. He was looking out his window, probably at his secretary's car that had been presumably parked there a suspicious amount of time without his lovely secretary leaving it. I didn't know what to do, should I save him the realization or let this play out? Then I realized if he got all down in the dumps, I was going to be the one he cried on while drinking half a glass of whiskey before passing out and later vomiting. I quickly coughed and caught his attention, he turned, not really wanting to look away from the car.

“Hey, your Pookie can wait. She literally works just outside your office every day, hurry up you have a thick schedule as always” I knew mentioning the boring stuff would make him groan in annoyance and look to me to make a whiney complaint. Perfect, he's distracted.

“I hate actually working, can't I just work on my Thneedville model” There he goes with the complaining again.

“You did that once because I was sick and your secretary is easily manipulated by your fake charms and ended up missing all your meetings. Caused marketing to be held back a few days and everything to fall behind the deadline” I sighed rolling my eyes, so the headache began.

“Listen, I don't pay you to lecture me” He huffed walking over to me with his slender frame, the white button-up and loose tie dangling from his neck, followed by his long green gloves and black slacks. No shoes tho, though he either roamed barefoot or with socks when he was in his office, something about the comfort. 

“You actually don't pay me at all” He rolled his eyes at my comment, and he leaned on his desk.

“I don't need to, you live fine, I pay for your bills” He smirked like what he said was worth a mic drop, as if.

“And yet, my roof is leaking, and I don't eat breakfast or dinner because I have literally no money at all. Most people are either broke or rich or somewhere in between of being in debt or constantly spending money, I am like none of them. My bank account is always at zero” God please someone get the secretary to distract him I'm already going insane, it's been 20 minutes on a Monday.

“Whatever, hey, did you happen to see Miss. Trudy on your way in? I saw you park next to her and I haven't seen her come out yet” God that's not what I meant by distracting him with the secretary, do you hate me?

“No, I haven't technically seen her, I was too busy getting inside” Please be enough.

“What do you mean technically? So you know where she is?” Bro, the universe wants me dead for trying to be a good person.

“She's been busy from what I know” Spare him the details, good thinking me.

“With what?” I'm about to jump out the window, I swear.

“Tom” Short and simple.

“Tom? From accounting? For what? I don't need anything from them?” She does apparently

“Who knows, can we get back on topic, you have a meeting in like 30 minutes, and by in 30 minutes I mean 30 minutes ago you had this meeting in 30 minutes” I looked at the schedule that we were already behind in. 

Jeez, already screwed over by the secretary and stupid Tom in accounting. It's like working for 10 kindergartners in a trench coat, always having to refocus him from his obsessions. He groaned but went to grab his shoes. I still don't remember when he got comfortable enough to just do that around me. I don't care, as long as he keeps the grippers locked up, The summer was brutal, no more comments about it. 

Anyway, we went about our day, a few stranglers here and there nothing severe, until about 6 in the afternoon, late I know, don't remind me. He wanted to say goodbye to his special little secretary and I being tired wasn't paying attention to how you could literally see her being held by Tom from the shadow around the corner. Cliché as HELL, and maybe that's why my life sucks, this is some crap you see in fan fiction that you find at like 3 AM for the hell of it. My point is, that we turned the very uncomfortable corner to a very sloppy-I mean-sappy make-out session between the two. I was too late to try to distract the Onceler the damage was done, he immediately blew up on Tom, one because that was his little obsession Tom was kissing, but also because the poor fella was hella butt hurt. In his rage, he fired them both before dragging me away to his office, probably to rant about professionalism before crying and drinking. Guess either way I was going to get to this point, at least we got through most of the schedule before the crying and screaming.

“I can't believe this! She was just casually swapping spit with TOM, of all people! TOM, from accounting! No one willingly kisses anyone who works in accounting. Did I mean anything to her? I gave her my everything and she just threw it away!” Wow, he really loved that girl, I thought it was just his ego, but he looks like he just caught his girlfriend cheating on him.

“You guys were never official, seemed more like a repetitive fling”

“A fling!? She wasn't just a fling, she was my world, and she was supposed to be mine, I wanted to ask her out but, you keep making me be responsible and crap, now, now I know she never really was mine to begin with, huh?” He looked down, falling back into his office chair and covering his face, crap, this is a lot more serious than I thought it would be.

“Look at the bright side, if she didn't see you as someone worth her time. Then maybe it was for the best you guys didn't get serious” I went over and leaned on his desk crossing my arms over my chest, trying to seem reassuring in my tone.

“I know” That was probably the least convincing tone I've ever heard.

“Listen, it's not the end of the world, you're rich and young and decent, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would like a chance with you.” I mean, I'm not lying to him technically.

“Ya but, how many of them would like me for me” Damn it do you always have to ask the hard-to-answer questions man

“Love, real pure love, is hard. Rich, poor, young, old, it doesn't matter, it's hard, and it will stay hard forever, but you can't let it beat you up like this” Where is this coming from? When did I get so wise about love, I guess the coach doesn't play, right? Or is there something under my skin surfacing? I'm probably just tweaking.

“I guess… Hey, do you, ever think about me outside of work?” Random, but also a valid question, do I?

“Well, I mean, if I think about it, I guess I do, do you think of me?” Am I possessed or something? What's going on here

“Sometimes, before I sleep, sometimes because of that I see you in my dreams” That's, nice? I'm not really sure if this is making me feel warm because it's embarrassment, or something deeper. Oh, crap, is this deeper?

“That's nice… How are you feeling?” Good, let's change the topic, good idea.

“Better, I guess, I was just, overreacted and, I also, realized something about myself”

“That's good to hear” The silence after that was loud, it was just us, in his office alone, I wasn't sure what I was feeling, or how this conversation would affect the future. This really made me think about things, things I never thought of before, like, how, even if the secretary was set free, was that something I really wanted deep down. Did I actually enjoy being his constant, his real help, his real rock? Was this an eye-opening experience to the relationship we have and how intimate it really is, sure it not the normal kind he had with Miss. Trudy, but it's more than just the physical. How have I never noticed, am I really that distracted?

“So, wanna go get food” The words left me without permission, but I wouldn't say I regret it, I wouldn't say I want to take it back. I don't think I ever wanted to quit, not out of my own kindness but out of something more. He stood up with a soft smile, one I brushed off but now, I really saw it, the small way he smirked with his teeth showing a little. I smiled back, maybe this was the start of something worth my time, worth the headache and the complaints.

“Yeah, I'm down”

I think, I think this is worth it, maybe I can enjoy my job for once.

“I still need to get paid”

“Yeah whatever”

“I'm serious”

“I know”