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forgottenroisin · 25 days

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How does Roisin prefer someone else confess their love to them, if they want to at all?

dlsfkjaljsdfjsdf unfortunately for you, dear reader, rosie is a character i know very well and have spent a lot of time thinking abt, and this question kinda hits at the heart of a lot of her struggles, so this will, i fear, be quite a lengthy reply! feel free to read however much (or however little!) you like <3 i'll leave some titles around to help you decide what's interesting ;D

META

so!! I'm not sure if this is a question asking 1) whether rosie prefers that ~her partner~ be the first to profess his feelings, rather than roisin speaking out first herself, or 2) if its a question asking what method she would like her partner to use ~in professing his feelings? but i think it's def asking, as addendum, 3) if she wants feelings professed, at all! anyway, i thought i'd go ahead and answer all three questions! and the answers will actually vary! lakjfkljsdf

tldr, tho, in short, the answers are these: 1) yes pls let him do it! 2) just be sincere, and 3) no...in general, but...sometimes yes! but only if she truly wants you around for the long haul!

you can read on for more info ;D

GRIEF VS ROSIE

so rosie is an mbti [ enfp ] and an [ enneagram ] [ type ] [ seven ]! why am i mentioning this? bc, basically, she has conflicting, but related, hopes/dreams and fears/coping mechanisms which is why ur gonna get some uhhhh variety here!

rosie, as we all know, is a big romantic! she was raised on tales of chivalrous knights and brave ladies, and dreams of a fairy tale love herself. she is also, however, aware that real life isn't like that. her active mother slowly wasted away in front of her as a kid; her stepmother is vile and has forced them all into servitude; her father died in failure; her country was smashed by a brutal conqueror. as a result, she considers her wishes somewhat silly and even childish and is a bit down on herself abt wanting these things. but it doesn't stop her from wanting them, notwithstanding.

also ~interacting with the above~ rosie is an enfp, meaning she craves variety: new ppl, new challenges, new projects, and change, but also that she's warm, idealistic, fun, and compassionate (amongst other things! im talking specifically abt relationships w other ppl here)! she loves with her whole heart, but she also hates to be tied down, but also values loyalty and fortitude. she can be extremely casual, but she craves intensity. so! you can def see a conflict here! she wants deep, abiding relationships but also hates feeling trapped/like she can't open herself to every possibility/explore all the world and others have to offer. in the right relationship, this would all be readily achievable, but commitment is intrinsically scary to her and it requires a leap of faith!

which is where her enneagram comes in. in a nutshell, "Sevens fear getting stuck in a rut and missing out on the good life. They cope with this fear by constantly seeking out exciting, novel, and fun experiences." and "The central problem for Sevens is that their pursuit of pleasure is compulsive. Sevens are fear types who are specifically afraid of the power of negative states of mind. These they avoid by seeking distractions in the external environment: by multi-tasking, by keeping their options open, by engaging in stimulation seeking of all kinds."

CHILDHOOD WOUND

every enneagram type comes out of a [ childhood wound ]. for 7s, that's a disconnection from the nurturing figure of childhood (for rosie, the wasting illness and ultimate death of her mother) which tells them "its [dangerous] to depend on anyone for anything. if i stay distracted i won't feel my grief." they feel scared and lonely and empty, in continual pain, lacking something profound and meaningful inside. rosie, specifically, is characterized by a profound fear of loss, and there's only one way to truly avoid loss: avoidance of attachments. something which is, itself, painful for someone who craves deep, abiding connection. in other words, the only way to heal is to risk more of the same pain that broke her in the first place.

bc of this, in general rosie ~is a runner. she enjoys excitement and fun, but after awhile there's a line you cross, right? and after that things get more and more srs, attachments get deeper -- you start relying on that other person. and that's where rosie gets antsy, bc that's the point at which the risk starts to mount. she can lose anyone at any time! what if she loses this person, too? its no accident that the vast majority of her deepest relationships arose through proximity and from early childhood: she didn't really have a chance to run away.

in august, i actually wrote this note to myself: "Got emo thinking abt lfr while working on my space anyway hc incoming: sorcha was reading rosie a compendium of fairy stories when she got too weak to continue — rosie still has that tome and treasures it, has the passages memorized, bc reading them to herself is the only way she can hear her mothers voice again

"Rosie’s grief for her parents differ: her mother suffered a protracted illness and so by the time she died it was almost a release from suffering, and Rosie was too young to fully grasp it, but afterwards spent the rest of her life fearing the loss of loved ones more than anything. Her father was sudden and terrible and the bringing abt of all her worst fears. This grief is a chasm, bc it’s both griefs, in essence, and it’s a big part of why she can never stop running from it"

so yeah ironically she's rarely gonna do the thing she wants everyone else to do which is stick around! she's the ill leave before i can get left type

PIERS AUCLAIR

i do think there have been two occasions on which rosie was prepared to cross that boundary ~in a romantic~ capacity, specifically. before the war, rosie would've been twenty and thus a decade+ away from the inciting incident of her grief/fear. she was living at court and feeling v brave and older and sophisticated and she was sort of seeing a young man who was a young lord in a foreign country, there as part of a party in astaira to treat w the queen

honestly, i def think rosie had a lot of romantic ideas abt this young man that frankly weren't even true. but he was dashing and handsome and exciting, and he knew how to make her laugh, and she felt happy and adventuresome when she was with him and she thought! this is it! this is what ive been searching for! its time to be brave!

and here's the moment we come to the actual question!

QUESTION THE FIRST! does rosie prefer that she or her partner be the first to profess their feelings?

being a big romantic, rosie has some v decided ideas abt who does what! and the ~man is supposed to make the move! that's what happens in the fairy tales! besides, she's sure its also more ~thrilling to be confessed ~to than to ~do the confessing, which is the scary part! and rosie don't do scary! so this is all v convenient ;D

MORE PIERS!

now to the matter of this previous young man! i am, here and now, dubbing him sir piers auclair, knight of the griffin, future lord of the blackwater, from the country of lienor (nonsense information to the rescue! ;D). piers was ngl a bit of a player, but rosie was young and naive and fell for it hook, line, and sinker, and believed whole heartedly that he was in love w her and that, she, herself, was completely in love w him (she ~was in love, but only w the romanticized image she had of him in her head)!

i don't think piers was really a particularly bad person or anything tbf, and he did enjoy rosie, liked her etc, i think, but she wasn't anything v special to him, he was just passing his time w a pretty face and intent upon returning to his soon-to-be political fiancee in lienor whenever the ambassador had successfully charmed this astairan queen. i do think piers knew rosie's attachment was much deeper than his own, but i think it felt good to be adored and he just -- let it go, thinking it would come to nothing and she'd get over it eventually etc

but rosie didn't, couldn't see it -- she thought he was all that and a bag of chips! and she thought that roisin auclair had a particular ring to it and that he did, too, but they were sundered by his duty to his parents who wanted him to marry someone else! but maybe! maybe if she let go all uncertainty, they could fight for the future they wanted, together! her father was just as rich as the other young ladies! a nd true love will always find a way, that's what all the stories said! and, even tho the idea of leaving her family behind and going to lienor was terrifying, she thought it might be worth it for the love of her life!

i think she waited for awhile, hoping he'd finally say what she was hoping to hear, but i think she finally took matters into her own hands and told him that she was in love w him, herself! which honestly took sm courage for her to do ngl! and i think he just stared at her in shock!! and then said smth noncommittal that kinda sorta felt like maybe a reciprocation when you don't poke at it too much!! and rosie was happy not to poke!! but deep down she started to wonder and just tried to force it! IM HAPPY! IM HAPPY! IM HAPPY!

soon thereafter tho the war. piers ran away wo a word just ~hearing abt roderick, abandoning her to whatever end and never reaching out again even by letter, and rosie was confronted w what he really was: even greater a coward than she, esp when she was sent back to malconaire and faced w the unswerving, and ultimately fatal, courage of her father and her home, all things which further reinforced her fears of loss!!!!!!!!! btw!!!!!!!!!

EDMUND

as you probs guessed, edmund is the second time, she's thought she might want someone to tell her that they love her! but she's conflicted abt it, too. let me explain...

i think, now, years after the loss of her father, rosie's starting to feel like she'd maybe like to cross that boundary w edmund...but all the courage she'd built up after the death of her mother has dried up, and she's much more realistic now. she knows what edmund wants; she also knows what edmund needs. and none of those add up to the youngest daughter of a dead and defunct lord: a dowerless girl from a conquered country. and she's equally afraid that if she pushes it, she'll lose him. bc, worse, she knows that -- one way or another -- she ultimately will

atm, she's just tryna enjoy whatever time ~they do have and not look too closely at what hurts!! which, fortunately, is her specialty!!

so her plan is to say nothing and wonder whether she should hope that he tells her he loves her...or not??? is it ~really better if he loves her too?? when it can never be in the end?? and then she gets sad and pointedly distracts herself!!! lakjsdfkljsdfj

QUESTION THE SECOND! what method she would like her partner to use ~in professing his feelings?

ok so you knowwwww that lil!rosie always dreamed of that big dramatic reveal!!! a beautiful, romantic place and moment!!! a big speech!!! a world-stopping kiss!!!!! she def put a lot of planning into this w piers too (which probs did ~not help ~him btw!! sm pressure on it!!)

atp, tho, while she def wouldn't ~mind the above, she's like 'that was just a silly dream!' now, and would def be down w smth much more quiet, lowkey, and down to earth, as long as its sincere -- that's the most romantic thing on earth, she's come to realize! that's what really counts (not all the flashy stuff w/o any substance, which is all that piers really was tbh)! whether its just blurted out thoughtlessly, or said v quietly in a v true moment, planned or not, that sounds absolutely beautiful to her <3333

rosie doesn't wanna put pressure on it, anymore, she doesn't wanna push anyone into saying anything they don't feel, she just wants a true meeting of the hearts even if that's someone saying 'i like you a lot but i just don't feel the same way' yknow? so they can just be open and honest and trust in whatever the truth may be between them

QUESTION THE THIRD! does she wants feelings professed, at all?

so, in summation...in general, no! no she does not want to be that vulnerable w you! she's just here to enjoy a lil harmless fun for you both! but if you get important enough to her, then yes! but now mostly just bc she wants to know where things stand and that she's not alone in this! but she'll also question whether she wants that too! which she questions even more re: edmund, given their necessarily divided futures, BUT she would probs wonder regardless bc -- even denying it to herself -- knowing piers didn't feel the same was painful too so!! there's really no winning w feelings!! lkajflkskjdf

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

ok so!!!!!! i wanna keep this short and sweet but lil!rosie had REALLLLLLLY high hopes for valentina!!!!! she was like 'she'll never be our real mom but shes our new mom and its gonna be beautiful!!!!' she assumed her dad was in love w her (and vice versa) bc they were getting married and yeah!!! obv we all know how this went down!!!! and lbr it was a huuuuge hit on a lot of her romantic dreams and the first real brush w the concept of marrying for duty not love, since her own parents had somehow done both <3 and so she lowkey assumed that's how it always went! until it didn't

now the cassimir/eithne bit! this will be brief but!!!!! this has really been ANOTHER hit to her romantic ideals!!!!!! despite everything she was like 'even if we're poor as churchmice i know we'll either marry not at all or where our hearts reside!' and that was smth true for all her sisters in her mind but now!!!!!!!!! now even ~that peace of mind is broken and yes!! this does impact the above and, actually, not just this part the third, as i was initially thinking, but the others too but my main thought was!!!!!!!! she does NOT want her vers of cassimir coming up and being all 'ill marry you honey' like no! no thank you! pls go away! bc eithne's shown her that maybe the right thing to do is to giveup all ur silly romantic dreams and give in to a life that will always be a lil terrible if it'll benefit others and now she's asking herself 'am i selfish to reject cormac? should i accept him and save eithne???' so him ~not asking and just stating ~that it will be~ has been a boon following ~that lil piece of news!!!!!!!

also!! just learned today abt ladies' privilege (thank you, lizzy!), an old irish tradition where a woman may propose to a man on leap day, and if this is a thing in astaira, rosie's probs wondering, like, should ~she propose to ~cormac? she knows he'd take her!!!! he's made that quite clear!!! and maybe it could save eithne bc, he might be ridiculous, but in rosie's book cormac is better than ~cassimir!!!!!! and yeah!!!!! tis a mess!!!!! (tbh she's probs wrong to think this'd have an impact on eithne/cassimir but rosie always likes to believe there's ~smth she can do!)

#i got so carried away!#about #edmund varmont #challenge #ask #macdara malconaire #sorcha malconaire #valentina malconaire #eithne malconaire #cassimir malconaire #cormac calleary #can't believe there's a world in which he actually has a shot w a malconaire girl lakjflkjdskjsdf #cassimir truly ~is his benefactor...everything he does just keeps giving for cormac alksjdfkljsdfjsaf ;DDD SCREAM

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 month

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if you look deep enough into steve’s eyes, the colors start to shift from a medium-brown to light, almost golden, like his hair in the summer, like his skin when it’s wet.

eddie finds himself noticing these things more often as the year after vecna passes. on the anniversary of nearly dying, eddie thinks he’s noticed everything about steve.

but then steve shows up at his door after dropping the kids off at their respective homes, a smile on his face, and something mysterious in his eyes. something that distracts eddie from the golden specks the reflect off his porch light. something that only eddie really gets to see.

“wanna take a ride?”

“where you taking me, big boy?”

steve blushes, a soft pink that would be warm to the touch if eddie was brave enough to reach out.

“it’s a surprise.”

eddie trusts steve, so he gets in his car and doesn’t ask anymore questions.

steve talks about something dustin did on the way, complaining with a fondness only steve could have for the kid.

it hits eddie as steve pulls onto a side road.

the field.

the wildflowers bloomed early this year, and eddie had mentioned recently that he would like to make new memories in a place where he was facing death or prison exactly one year ago.

he didn’t think anyone was listening, but apparently steve was.

steve parks the car and eddie doesn’t think he can look at him yet. he thinks he’s gonna cry. he thinks he’s so deeply in love with this man that he may never experience anything like it again.

it’s dark, but the moon is bright. there’s still a light chill in the air, but eddie’s still wearing his leather jacket from hellfire earlier, so he barely feels it.

they walk together through the field, close enough that their hands brush, but still more distance between them than eddie wants. he’s surrounded by beauty: the flowers, the stars, steve.

he stops when steve does.

they both look up at the stars for a few minutes, silent so they can hear the crickets and their own heartbeats.

“a year ago, when i almost lost you, i thought about all the things i didn’t get to do or say or know about you. i was angry for a long time.” steve turns to eddie, giving him a sad smile. “it wasn’t fair that you had to go through all of that and i couldn’t do anything. the doctors weren’t doing enough, and the cops weren’t doing enough, and no one understood how important it was that they fix it.”

eddie’s watching him, baffled. he’s not sure where this is going and he’s worried that his own feelings may be clouding his vision.

“i couldn’t make your pain go away. i couldn’t make it easier. i couldn’t help you walk again or play guitar. i just had to watch.”

eddie feels a tug in his stomach, a pull that leaves him breathless.

“but i watched. and i saw every side of you. and i don’t think i’ll say this right, but i practiced with robin and she thinks i did good.” steve breathes in and turns to face eddie completely. “i learned a side of me that i didn’t know about while i watched you. i learned that love looks different than what i always thought. and i learned that because of you.”

“because of…me?” eddie’s trying not to get his hopes up, but he’s pretty sure they’re higher than ever.

“because you love so loudly. everyone you love knows it and you aren’t scared that they’ll run away. it’s probably because it’s impossible not to love you.”

eddie thinks he actually is experiencing some kind of post-death dream. maybe he got too high in his room and steve never even showed up at his door.

“eddie? did you hear me?”

eddie focuses on steve’s look of concern, on the golden specks in his eyes that the moonlight makes shimmer.

“i don’t know?”

“i said i love you.”

“oh. then, no, i didn’t.”

steve’s face falls and eddie realizes a second too late that his response to steve saying he loves him wasn’t the exact thing he’d been holding back for at least six months now.

“i just thought you should know. um. so i guess i can wait in the car if you wanna stay a bit longer-“

eddie is only staying in this field if steve is with him, so he wraps his arms around steve’s shoulders and hugs him harder than is probably safe.

“i love you. sorry i’m a dumbass and didn’t say it the second you did. i was trying to convince myself this was real life.”

steve laughs against his ear and eddie’s pretty sure they belong like this.

“why now?” eddie asks as he pulls away.

“because i told myself if you didn’t do it by today, i would.”

“how long have you been waiting on me?”

steve lets out a breath. “eight months give or take.”

“that is…much longer than i would’ve expected.”

“yeah, well, imagine being the one waiting.”

eddie smiles at steve, and steve smiles back, and eddie notices a new thing.

steve harrington’s got a crooked tooth. an imperfection to some, a sign of being human to eddie.

“what’s that face for?” steve asks.

“you’re perfect, stevie.”

they kiss in the field where eddie was saying goodbyes a year ago. they look at stars in a clear sky while holding hands and talking about what their future might look like. steve’s head rests in eddie’s lap while eddie traces steve’s lips with his finger, memorizing the curl of his lips when he smiles and the feel of the vibrations when he hums a song eddie doesn’t recognize.

steve picks flowers, and eddie makes a crown, and they both say i love you in a million ways.

they walk along the edges of the field, where the rv was parked while they prepared for the worst. eddie shivers at the memories, but steve kisses his shoulder and the back of his hand and he shivers at that instead.

they ride back, and eddie sings along to whatever songs play on the radio, even if he messes up the words. steve laughs and it’s better than any music they could listen to.

they kiss on eddie’s porch, surrounded by darkness because no one turned on the outside light. it’s so late, no one would see them anyway.

steve stays at eddie’s, but wayne’s home, so they’re quiet and keep their hands above the waist even though they so desperately want to touch, and kiss, and bite every inch of each other.

they still get carried away, which doesn’t surprise eddie at all. what does surprise eddie is how quickly steve sits in his lap, rutting against his stomach and biting back moans and whimpers and eddie laces their fingers together and squeezes, meeting each thrust with his own. neither of them last long, coming in their pants like virgins. they laugh, but they kiss through it, teeth clacking as they gasp for breath.

they take turns in the bathroom in case wayne wakes up. steve comes back into eddie’s room without a shirt and hair slightly damp. eddie feels his heartbeat quicken as steve hops into bed next to him.

they sleep with steve curled against eddie’s chest, eddie’s arms around his back, sweaty but content.

content and happy.

and when the sun rises the next morning, eddie wakes first and notices another new thing about steve: he drools in his sleep.

#so this was supposed to be my pop up drabble next month #but then i got carried away #and it’s no one’s fault but my own #so now it just exists and i’ll have to write something else #oh darn #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #drabble #getting together #love confessions

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