#i got mad uncomfortable and just stopped talking abt it but like

[womensflesh]

I remember when i was complaining about how I hated being a shut in and how annoying it was that family kept touching me even though I hate it. And I said "there's only one person who I'd allow to touch me casually and he's a few timezones away." And my ex waddled in and was like. "Is it me 🥺 I'll kms if not". Dude.

[spxdxrpxnk]

thinking abt how PROWLER MILES and SPIDERMILES sleep... 💤💤💤

( notes: this is written by a minor about underage characters, so nsfw/18+ only/'minors dni' blogs please do not interact with this post! thank you <3

i call them prowler miles and spidermiles instead of earth-XXX miles because it's cuter to me :) )

MILES is a very light sleeper.

a lot of people don't really expect that because he always looks like he's having the best, most deepest sleep of his life, all curled up in a tight ball, blankets burrito'd around him

bro is the literal definition of snug as a bug in a rug

he even snores just a little! when you first hear it you think he's like, growling in his sleep??? because of how low it is, nah, he's snorin.

there's literally never any sneaking up on him while asleep- MILES literally woke up because RIO walked past his bedroom door once. she didn't go in, didn't even touch the door; she just tip-toed in her work sneakers instead of socks or slippers.

and that woke him up, made him all grumpy because that was really early in the morning and now he can't go back to sleep

once he's up, he's up. and it takes an hour or so to get back to sleep, so he just deals with it

he sits up, but just stays sitting in bed slouched over like a zombie for a good few minutes.

he just needs a sec to boot up, give him a lil bit and then he's up and at em like he was never asleep in the first place??

weirdo.

one time, UNCLE AARON scared him awake from a nap because they had stuff to do, and he was literally so mad about it. he knew it was a dumb thing to be mad about, but MILES couldn't keep an angry pout off his face and AARON was just snickering at it the entire time

when sleeping, MILES doesn't dream. like, at all.

people around him will be talking about crazy dreams and nightmares they've had where their teeth fell out or they got turned into a horse or got chased by a giant lego man, and he's just like. tf???

he's very clingy in his sleep and when he's tired, even when he tries his best not to be, so if you choose to sleep with him then you just kinda have to accept your fate

thankfully he doesn't move around that much besides the occasional adjustment, he doesn't thrash around or anything crazy

the most annoying thing would probably be him snoring? it's not loud, barely audible if you're not right next to him, but if you do sleep near him then you'll hear it

it kinda just happens no matter how he sleeps, so if you can handle a little. um. natural white noise!

MILES is the best cuddle buddy you'll ever have.

he's very considerate tbh, he'll let you lay on him any way you want as long as it's not that uncomfortable for him

be warned though: he's an early riser.

will wake up first and do dumb shit to wake you if you're not up by time he's done eating breakfast.

he'll start lifting your eyelids, poking you, tickling your hands ( he don't do feet. ) and shit like a little damn kid

and he won't stop until you wake up, so gl w that

MILES, however..

well, he's also a light sleeper. more on the average side

but he doesn't wake up at every little thing. only if someone opens his door or talks too loud

some things wake him up, some don't

sirens and explosions outside of his window only start to wake him up after he becomes spiderman, he could sleep like a baby through it before

he usually falls asleep in a very fixed position, like curled up on his side or laying on his back with his legs crossed

but he'll always wake up halfway off his bed, limbs thrown out like he's a ragdoll, mouth wide open and dry, covers either tangled around his body or just on the floor

so.

yeah, MILES moves in his sleep!

he'll go from laying on his back to on his stomach, from his stomach to his side, from his side to somehow slumped against the wall by his bed???

because of that, he'll wake up very disoriented. he needs more than a second to boot up, his feet just kinda carry him to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face and stuff-

MILES isn't up-up until he blindly puts his hands under the ice cold water to wet his toothbrush and that shocks him awake, only to realize he completely missed his toothbrush and squeezed the dollop of toothpaste directly into the sink

he kinda just stares at it for a few minutes, pretty embarrassed, before scooping it off the porcelain ( or whatever sinks are made of ) and using it to brush his teeth

somehow, JEFF always knows when MILES just let the wasted toothpaste dissolve into the running water and squeezed more.

it's like his own spidey-sense.. just for something as stupid as toothpaste.

MILES does dream almost every time he's asleep, even when just napping, but he often doesn't remember them unless they were super duper crazy

he remembers the nightmare where he shot webs out his butt like a real spider, and that really scary one that he doesn't like to recall but has to do with the prowler

but he can never recall the only one that actually made him wake up in a cold sweat, panting as if he just ran a marathon.

"what was it?", you may ask?

well, MILES was president of some place.

he didn't find out where until DREAM PRESIDENT MORALES set a lot of very prejudiced laws against lego people, and it turns out he was president of lego city

( one of the laws was that, if anyone falls into the river, they're not allowed to be saved )

he got overthrown during a revolution that was led by a very violent lego spiderman who only spoke in what his brain's version of spanish was, so he could barely understand anything

and the part that made him wake up was when they tied him down and were threatening to go through his sketchbook and, upon opening it to the first page, something jumped out at him and startled him awake

you know those jumpscare videos where a spider jumps out during a seemingly calm scenario?

yeah, MILES gets weird deja vu when he sees those, but doesn't know it's because of that dream.

anyways- MILES does try his best to cuddle when sleeping, he really does!

he'll spoon ( big or little, he don't mind ), lay on you, let you lay on him

even just holding hands, or sleeping back to back

anything really, long as he goes to sleep touching you

but if it's one of his more active nights where he makes his big moves, you probably won't survive unless you're a deep sleeper.

he'll probably push or kick you, and not be sorry about it.

and he'll wake up totally out of it, wondering why the hell he's so uncomfortable

and sees he's sprawled on top of you like a terrible blanket instead of the very cute, cliche way he imagined waking up with you

something like this will happen every time, so. just throw him a pillow and a sheet and tell him to sleep on the floor.

or you take the floor, either works for him-

MILES really isn't the perfect gentleman. unless you or his parents tell him to give you the bed, he will happily let you sleep on the floor

never wakes up before you unless he had a really bad nightmare like PRESIDENT MORALES, and if you wake him up he'll be so petty and passive aggressive while he's still half asleep

so just. slap him awake if you need him that bad, shake him violently and yell frantically that they hit the pentagon

just wake him right up, so that he can't just glare at you with an adorable sleepy pout on his face, eyeing you angrily, even as he trudges to the bathroom...

... not looking where he was going, and walking right into the doorframe.

[onlyjaeyun]

idk if you do requests, but could we get a pt.2 to the daddy? sorry sunghoong text fic where they have that talk he was texting abt ? you can disregard this if you dont want to do it, i totally understand 💕

this is the ask nonie's referring to btw!

— cw: dvddy kink, light dd/lg dynamics, implied phone s3x

honestly i think if there's one thing about sunghoon is the fact he's very open when it comes to you. he trusts you and knows he can always talk to you about whatever's on his mind, it doesn't matter what it's about, if he feels like talking to you about it (which is most of the time) he does not hesitate to do so.

however, kink talks aren't on the list of daily things to talk about, so he's not quite sure how to bring it up. every since you texted him that first "daddy?" sunghoon's been struggling to think about anything but you and the thought of hearing you actually use that title for him.

hoon never really expected himself to be into it because he simply never considered you to actually have a thing for it, so he's not really sure if you are, since you were actually just messing with him.

he attentively listens to your cute little story about your day with your best friend, loving the way you go into detail about basically everything, even which flavour of boba you had, which is why he hates himself for wanting to bring your texts from earlier up so bad.

once you're done, hoon's determined to ease you into it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but the mere possibility of you being into it just as much as he is, drives him insane. he's been rock hard the whole day and the fact this all happened when he's literally away from you for the first time for this long feels like destiny's laughing at him.

"hoonie? are you there? or did you fall asleep on me again?", you chuckle and sunghoon almost loses himself in the sweet tone of your voice; he can't stop thinking about how good you sound when you cum for him.

"i'm here, baby", he replies calmly, adjusting his boxers in hopes of somehow getting rid of his raging hard on, yet fails miserably and hisses the second he accidentally nudges the tip with his hand, "got lost in my thoughts, that's it."

"you sound tired, my love, do you wanna head to sleep?"

"no", he's way too quick with his response, eliciting another row of chuckles from you and this time sunghoon simply can't stop the words from spilling out.

"are you into it?" he asks and hates how a beat of absolute silence follows, because it lets him know you're more than aware what he's referring to and he feels a weird tightness spreading in his chest in response to your lack of.

"are you into it, sunghoon?" is the only thing you reply and are actually surprised to hear the sound of a deep grunt from the other line, the noise instantly shooting a jolt of arousal through your body.

"i never thought i would be", your boyfriend mumbles and you feel excitement fill your chest, "but i – fuck, baby i want it so bad."

the moment the profanity falls past your usually so composed boyfriend's lips, you let out the breath you didn't realise you were holding in and subconsciously start pressing your thighs together.

"you want me to call you daddy?"

there's not a lot you expected to hear in response to your question, yet nothing could have prepared you for the deep groan filling your ears.

"yes, baby", sunghoon's lost every bit of patience he had left, fingers firmly wrapped around his length, stroking himself to the thought of your perfect body, your sweet voice and the feeling of your pretty cunt the only thing on his mind.

"i want it, too", you whisper shyly, sighing softly when you finally push your pj shorts down your legs to expose your drenched cunt to the cold air in your room, "have been thinking about it for so long."

"fuck, angel girl, you're going to drive me crazy", sunghoon's voice is now raspy and strained, the firm sounds of his hand meeting his hips as he fucks his fist like a man gone mad easily sending chills down your body, "be a good girl for daddy and cum with me, yeah? i need it so bad, baby."

and how could you deny a reaquest this sweet, right?

[residentevilbunni]

idc if i am dramatic. my blog was there for me every single day for six years. i dont have a real life, i dont have any friends, nobody knows me or even who i am or my name. for the first time ever in my life i felt belonging. idc if i am crazy, but i've had nothing and no one for so long, my blog became my best friend. it was there though several heartbreaks. it was there for me during the first worst period of my life, when everything crashed and i broke. it was there when i went through all my rough phases, it was there to catch me and hold me. it was there to listen to me completely judgement free. it was there when i stopped having contact with my father. it was there when my friends left. it was there through all of my health chrises. when i received no help from the health care system, when i was dismissed and ignored and mistreated. when my sisters stopped talking to me. after every traumatic and scary and uncomfortable moment. no matter what it was there to listen to me. i was never alone because i had my blog. my blog i could pour everything into. idc if it is unhealthy because it was all i had. idc if that is chronically online because i dont wanna live in the real world, it is too dangerous and here im safe. idc if none of it is real bc i dont care for reality. and not only the blog itself, but honestly there was the place people were nice to me. irl i have been bullied and discarded and hurt and abused, but people were nice to me?????? that was the first place i've ever experienced that.

idc if im autistic, no other blog feels the same. it just doesnt feel the same. every day for six years that blog was my anchor. it grounded me. it was the sole reason i wasnt so alone i ended it all. when i was sad, i told it. when i felt the urge to show someone all my stupid fucking pics of snails or the sky or whatever, it was always there for me. always. no matter what. i think ppl would think i sound insane but something inside of me is broken, i cannot have real relationships and connections with people. im so far away from everyone. even my mother. and she gave birth to me. im just not fully human, it hurts and i wish i was but im not. i dont talk to ppl, i dont connect, bc im just filling a role so they wont hurt me. my entire existence is just to fawn so others wont hurt me as bad as they could.

i want my blog back bc it is all i had. and the first time i got my blog termed i knew that oh yes i was blogging abt tcc so like i get it. sucks but i get it. this time it was safe for six years, and then just bc i felt upset that some stranger was saying smth hurtful and judged me on one of my vent posts, i got so mad so i told them off. and then half a day later my account got termed for "promoting sh" and idk if it is all my posts abt it i've made or if it was that one fucking picture on that sideblog where i responded to that person, that pic i reblogged from someone else with faint marks. i've seen more and worse on other ppl's blogs. blogs that are still up. why did mine get termed but not everyone elses??? (i dont want that bc im insane and fucked up but i think ppl should post that if they want) but im just so heartbroken bc it is unfair. why is all i had gone?? i once reported a blog w cp and it stayed up for months. mine got termed in less than a day. everything i had gone just bc of one "sh" post. one report.

i cant stop crying. and i just dont care abt anything else. that blog was the first and only time i've felt "home". idc if i sound insane. i am just not like others and i never will be. i was broken and ruined and i just am this way. i cant connect. i dont have anything else. and now its taken from me. i dont feel whole. i feel like the most precious and treasured and beloved piece was stolen from me. theres probably smth very wrong w me for feeling this way for just an account on social media, but, i think it was the only thing i've ever felt truly safe to let myself feel a connection to. and the fact that no matter what happened to me, no matter what other ppl did to me, i would always have my blog to run to... and that i no longer have that is hurting me so much. i think i most likely had some neurodivergent attachment to it bc i just do not feel the same way abt my other social medias. they could delete my instas and pinterests and twitters and i'd be like oh damn that sucks whatever. and i am here crying and typing but i feel removed from this blog. and all my others. it was that blog i felt attached to. and it is gone. just bc i was so fucking stupid and just had to tell someone off. i never will again, i'll let anyone walk on me i'll let anyone violate all my boundaries and i'll never speak up again just pls pls pls pls let me have my account back.

[kittymeowmeow999]

Psychosis vent + hurtful men vent ; tw🔪

I went thru this severe episode where I had problems with my coworker who was my friend, she was saying it's like a chore to talk to me now, and that talking to me has ruined her life and now she has no energy to talk to anyone or do anything at all anymore, because I really drained her mentally. She never told me any of this b4, I had absolutely no idea, I knew she wasnt well mentally but I never knew I caused all of it...... I'm so.. I don't even know I'm really hurt I'm so sorry. She was saying really hurtful things to me, my brain cut them out already 😣 I don't wanna remember them anymore and she said I need a reality check and it really hurts, she was saying all I do is vent, she won't have answers to my questions, I make her uncomfortable, 😣 I wish i was normal, i was in a SEVERE mental health episode, I didn't realize till today, I believe I was having psychosis. My mind was extremely disturbing during this time, I was having severe guro thoughts, I was getting like this while I was isolated, and I was having problems I couldn't eat and I wanted to be an unhealthy weight (80lbs), this situation I was losing my mind, I can't even describe that. I 🔪ed myself in this severe episode 😣, I haven't done that in a long time, my mind was severely disturbing in all ways. Dark sexual and guro thoughts were in my mind and I can't even describe it, I wasn't myself, my entire self was altered, I really believe this was psychosis or a very very dangerous severe episode. I don't know how I am living after this experience. There's more to it too, but I'm no longer talking to this coworker. I remember in the messages saying, I don't know how to be normal anymore, I am not normal anymore. This is my worst episode yet, this was 3 weeks ago. And leading up to this, I remember my mind was slowly becoming worse and worse, more disturbing, more disturbing, more disturbing, more disturbing. I'm still feeling off. I did the worst and I checked a guys blog from before and after months hes still making posts about me, I'm feeling really unwell after that, I was doing ok, but now I'm just not feeling well and I'm really questioning myself with how I have never been able to keep anyone in my life for the long-term. But that situation with him, we weren't dating, I thought it was clear, we both said we liked things how they were 😣. And it was brought up how I liked the idea of having multiple 'boyfriends' Bec I made a post about it, he was really really mad but we weren't even dating. He was saying like he can't stop me from this, and I was telling him it doesn't change the way I treat him, I thought he understood and knew but I'm really wondering if it wasn't clear 😣, he was high all the time and when that conversation was brought up again, he couldn't even remember it. It was like this with a lot of things, I told him something important abt me, my chronic pain condition. He couldn't even remember that I had that even though I said it multiple times.. and one time I couldn't make it to work because the pain was killing me, and he got really really mad at me. it was a lot of instances he got really mad at me 😣 and when he had no weed it was even worse 😣😣. He hurt me a lot with insensitive things towards me I still feel like he was like god and I'm just actually a piece of shit. I think at the end he was guilt tripping me when things ended. I called someone daddy in one of my posts and he got mad lol.. but at the end like he was saying all this shit to me like he doesn't 'know' we weren't dating. I don't know I feel like a piece of shit, even though it's his problem he can't remember anything and function because he is stoned 24/7, 30 and working at taco bell, a 'alpha male,' a high ego since he has a massive dick, fucking insensitive.. This was all online btw, my situation with him. Honestly I feel the alpha male statement is all that even needed to be said here. I don't know how to recover anymore though. I was over this, I wish I never checked his blog

I am in my thoughts again, wanting to be an unhealthy weight

The thoughts are coming back, guro 😣 I don't want to be alone anymore, being isolated I am gonna lose it

[benny-the-spaceman]

kinda wanted to talk abt smthn that's been bothering me lately but uhhhh i got a little longwinded and ik this isnt what most ppl come to my blog for so it's under the cut (for summary purposes it's mostly just me talking about how my ocd has been botherin me lately, nothin about anyone, just personal struggle ya feel? (: )

eugh, i hate ocd. i know i havent rly talked much openly abt it in a hot minute but it has been makin this acc difficult to manage sometimes, esp in regards to what i want to do and post. i keep thinking people hate me or dont want me to talk/interact with them for quite literally no reason, and it's the worst thing in the world. most of this isnt something youd see just looking at my blog, but it's completely changed how i post. i get rly nervous adding tags to posts or leaving comments/asks, i feel like if i post things that dont fit into very specific categories that people are gonna be annoyed and/or mad at me, and probably the dumbest thing, ive been struggling to post art at a time that isnt between 3-5 because im afraid that ill be breaking an arbitrary routine that i made up in my head which is obviously the end of the world (it feels like it for me). now, ive been working on these things. ok maybe not that much but im trying. and im not looking for reassurance or comforts or anything, ive lived with ocd my whole life, i know i can and will work through this. quite honestly, i just wanted to verbalize my feelings in some way here because it's uncomfortable to do so, and i know it's gonna make me anxious to do so, and i need to use this as a way to push myself to be uncomfortable. i want to stop obsessing over stupid details that no one except for my anxiety cares about and i want to be able to talk to ppl on here like a normal person again instead of feeling like i need to say or do very specific things lest people hate me for,,,,nothing? gotta love ocd logic. so i guess in some ways im using this post as a way to hold myself accountable, hope yall understand and also thank you for reading this far if you did, everyone in this community that ive interacted with has always been great, and i hope that i can continue talking to ppl here in the future (:

[noriyucko]

i know that the gays all love their little reclaimed slurs and its a lot of fun BUT heres a thought: maybe be wary of other gays who may not be comfortable with them in any form? ooh yeah i know big controversial opinion. but also whats the deal with hating on people IN THE COMMUNITY that dont enjoy getting called that stuff, cuz ive known too many people who got mad when lightly confronted abt it.

sorry that i dont wanna go to school to just talk to one of my friends and then have a baby gay come over to say that i smell like a f*g just bc they saw me wearing a little pride pin and then later keep saying horrible shit about “people who dont like the f slur”(true story)

i dont say the f and t slurs, but i understand reclaiming and im like normally completely fine with seeing people just say it in passing and on posts and whatnot but the audacity to get mad at a person for being like “hey im uncomfortable hearing/being called the f slur can you please not say it (or at least not as much)

when i met my irl friends who were 100% definitely also neurodivergent theyd from time to time say the r slur and i was just like “hey can you not say that it makes me really uncomfortable since im autistic, always feels targeted towards me no matter who or the context” and you know what they did? EASILY stopped saying it, at least around me.

meanwhile anyone in the lgbt asks “hey can you guys not say the f or t slurs around me” and its something bad?? only arguments ive seen against it have basically just been “let me say slurs” no ones stopping you from saying it??? some people just simply dont wanna hear slurs and theres so many possible reasons why so why does it become an argument when someone just. wants normal boundaries. like its insane

oh nooo not the most commonly taught childhood lesson: be mindful of other people?? i cant believe that other people in a marginalized community maybe WOULDNT like to be called a slur historically used against people in our group!! i cant believe that other people would have different experiences with things from me that could cause them to not like the same things as me!!!

[student-in-nightraven]

Hello!!! Is it possible your matchups are open? If so, could you match me up with the obey me cast? Or twisted wonderland, since I'm fine with both!

Idrk how to start this off since I'm an awkward person (at first), but I'll try describing my personality..

I'm an esfp(got enfp on different tests) people say I'm a fun person to be with, though I can be quite annoying.. People also say that I'm charming (only when I want to be), and a really nice person! The way I dress is quite the opposite from how I act. I dress in rokku gyaru clothing and Gothic lolita whenever I get the chance, and theyre often stereotyped to be someone mean, and really hardcore, but I'm not! I literally have like 30 plushies hiding in my closet😭😭 though apart from dressing like that, I also dress in himekaji, and sweet lolita clothing!

I'm really, really, REAAALLY energetic. It can be pretty hard to keep up with me. And I talk A LOT, I talk so much I pretty much just talk about EVERYTHING that happened to me.. I always regret it after. I'm chaotic and childish, though I can act calmer and more mature and sophisticated if others want me to.

I'm really great with children, though they can annoy me sometimes.. And I really love cats! I own like 16 cats, don't even ask abt it😭😭

I love learning about new stuff, and listening to others stories! It's always fun to learn something new.

I have hobbies that include: reading, writing, drawing, etc!

I mostly read stuff on the horror genre, and poetry! But I occasionally read romance.

I'm a female who's fine with any pronouns but prefers he/him or they/them pronouns

Here's a little more about me; I give almost everyone a silly nickname, it's usually from something silly/embarrassing they did or smth they remind me of and I tease them with it(if they're uncomfortable with it I stop calling them that immediately). I don't usually play games online,and I much prefer to go outside. I have a habit of typing in caps (im not mad or anything-just really excited to chat) People I'm close with say that they we're scared at me at first since I kinda have a rbf😞 I seem much more confident and bold than I really am, people think I'm brave when in reality; I'm not really that brave. People usually open up to me quick, and tell me that they think I'm kind, and caring! (I love those people with all my heart istg😭)

That's it! You must be tired of reading, and I'm tired of typing😢 thanks 4 reading all of this!!

16 cats?! That's impressive👀, but either way, I match you with..

..

... Lilia!

Lilia loves your clothing style, since his kinda into the gothic outfits too so he loves matching with you, once he found out you have 16 cats he immediately wanted to see them and memorise everyone's name(he actually did memorise them, can't remember his own birthday but he can remember 16 cats names😭)

Lilia loves going in adventures with you, and hearing you talk about your interests, it can be hours but he'll never get tired from hearing your own tales💞

You two are super chaotic and whenever about to cause trouble have that Cheshire cat grin on your faces and anyone who's around to witness that is preparing to survive.

You give him a nickname and he adores it, pouts anytime you don't use a special nickname on him, he obviously uses nicknames for you too! He calls you his little bat or bloop (idk I suck at nicknames 💔)

Lilia tells you his tales that includes horror since he found out you like the genre, also I hc that he's a writer so he shows you some of his poems he wrote, most of them are new which he wrote ab you

He's bubbly around you and you're bubbly around him, one of the most sunshine couple the entire nrc had ever seen!

In short you 2 are the sunshine/chaotic couple!<3

Thank you for the request dear annon! May you have a wonderful week♡

[imhighandprobablyreallytired]

so like this is kinda a vent but i have nobody else to talk to and this is the only thing nobody know follows me on. so ive kinda had a crush on my bsf for a little bit right (we’re both girls) and we’ve always kinda had a flirty friendship. today she came to my house and we were cuddling and sitting on eachothers laps and shit and we ALWAYS make dumb sex jokes at eachother like it’s normal. after that we were like kissing but keep in mind it was a joke but tbh i felt pretty uncomfortable and weird, except i didn’t want to lose her so i didnt say anything. anyway she went to the bathroom and when she came back she was acting really weird right. like i started doing the same thing we were before but she was like pushing me off and saying stop but she was also laughing and smiling at me. i got the hint pretty fast and backed off but then she left abt 10 minutes later. she then texted me and said “hey can we nvr do that again” and i told her yeah i felt uncomfortable too. but then she started getting mad at me and after a bit said “k” a couple times. the way she was saying the story to me made it sound so different then it was. i then got curious and asked if she told anyone. turns out she told her fucking twisted version to my strictly muslim, homophobic-ish bsf of SEVEN YEARS. that turned into a blow up arguement as i don’t have many friends at school, and let’s js say its not easy for me there, so i was very scared. she’s blocked me on everything now so there’s no way to text her. and i was suppose to have a sleepover tmrw night at a diff friends house and the homophobicish one just last min canceled. i feel so so sick. school starts again jan 8th and im dreading it. please help what do i do tumblr.

[thatsfuckedcorbin]

3.7.23

so am i being an emotional little bitch or is it valid to be upset that over the range of several weekends, michael

after i blocked off an entire day to hang out w/ him (and woke up early since we made those plans & he chose the day), he a) didn't respond until past 1pm that i could come b) went to smoke w/ his bro for like 2 hours after i'd alr lost like 3 hrs waiting for him

continuously & excessively makes "jokes" abt wanting / flirting w his bros or random other guys, even when they lightly tell him to stop or seem uncomfortable or it's not a funny situational / contextual response

makes infantilizing jokes abt me to the point where he jokes abt pedophilia and me being 14 instead of just "looking" 14 (??)

jokes about not wanting me / leaving me

asks me why i'm being so sensitive about his "jokes"

and now after not responding to my DMs for 8 hours yesterday, says he "got busy" but can't seem to tell me what he was doing even though i asked TWICE non-confrontationally (and, side note, in the past he once got pissed bc he thought i was mad at him bc i didn't respond for 6 hours, and sent me long angry DMs over it)

ok so yea this is kind of sarcastic. obviously these are Not Good things and i need to talk to him about it, and it's valid that i'm upset. but ig this is the first time i've actually thought about and written down what's upsetting me rather than suppressing it and immediately giving him a pass. idk i just feel bad sometimes bc he's "just joking around" but i think some of these jokes aren't appropriate and i'm getting really tired of them. i've already asked him not to make infantilizing jokes about me but i think sometimes he doesn't get how serious i am about how much it hurts me or affects me. which sucks bc i have told him before a while ago that i hate feeling like someone is being condescending to me / infantilizing me.

[cacaitos]

like my thing is that im angry and apathetic around relationships right, not uncommon traits. I brought up that scene of manga shinji and kaworu some day ago but I did not explain but it's not like im happy to do so now either lol. like i know the most skeevy thing that ppl bring out the most abt the toxicity of the relationship is the kiss, but that's not the correct scene to me, but in fact those first pages where he's asking shinji if he's really wanted to stay. by this point while shinji is talking kaworu's both hand and feet on the 'reconciliation' act, there's something so :( that he doesn't have the energy to react to his taunting for reason that ho beyond just being depressed about rei specifically.

as if it were divine curse he's been getting his rise up and prodded in exactly the ways that will make him the more mad, even about things he's completely justified for, and had that anger deliberately (or not) invalidated in quick succession, and last time not only was strong but he also neither got to unload or get the satisfaction but also passed out unceremoniously, prideless. so anger that's apparently is one of his first defensive reactions to feeling harmed has proved to be ineffective and in turn he wont even defend himself from being treated rudely or uncomfortably, it's exhaustion and burnout. he's been 'worn down'. and like im saying it now that to tire hot tempered people you ironically end of knowing what they're the most fearful about and how. then, you move to be not just to be an asshole but you know what else? a CLOWN. because no one else like clown people to get a rise out everyone. invalidate them, make them feel exposed through their anger. karl stops bothering him after the panel I talked about in the post, i guess in part because a sprinkle of guilt, and because he didn't get a reaction of of him this time. instead of anger he's passed to the secondary defense mechanism: apathy. apathy is very energy-effective, it can put you in harm's way tho.

and thennn what happens next? after all much he's been projecting nothing but ambivalence and dryness towards karl in those days? the thing that's supposed to avoid emotional engagement in the first place? the forced kiss. that the question of whether he was conscious through it exists, not only goes for what the audience gets to percieve but i think shinji too. the fact that it's an intimate situation that at any point could've been something he *consented to (at least if you asked yourself that internally) is that it doesn't set too clearly whether it's a 'forced because it's wanted' (first post first paragraph) or an actual being harrassed in a vulnerable state story. saying it for how more than fearful he feels he seems awkward + iconic homophobia moment as if that's what's important about that offputting interaction in any case lol.

lastly to bring up the unfortunate occurrence of finding out you might like something, and that it could've been in other nice conditions, but that it had to be thought an event you had few control over or a outright traumatic event and how might hinder the opportunity to know yourself better because of it :/.

on the other side i dont even like those kinds of softening out stories (the ones i mention in the first post too) or at least they dont tend to resonate with me a good part of the time. and like i do have at least a bit of sympathy to the victim party (like in a story where the other person is not an abuser but someone well intentioned) wrt the dread that someone could strip you naked of anything you can defend yourself with (psychologically) and irreparably change you in a way that could be outside your control, and the weight of you actually having a smidge of say in it this time (instead of none). like that's lowkey horror to me i at least get them on that part.

[pepprs]

less than 2 weeks left living with my roommates less than 2 weeks left living with my roommates less than 2 weeks left living with my roommates

[anotherpapercut]

my favorite Tumblr discourse was when people thought that being gay gave them a free pass to be rude as fuck to their friends for talking about their partners or crushes of another gender because they "shouldn't have to hear about men/women"

[verumaeternus]

yo gonna be real: the raid arc still triggers me so DO NOT show me any panels relating to ov.erha.ul being defeated because I Will Certainly Not Appreciate Them(tm)

[angelsdean]

hi darling ♡

what's your latest saddest dean thought at the moment? you always shatter my heart with your dean thought and i need it to hurt sjfhdhs <3

this got so long oops !

hiii sana<3 hmm ok well idk about saddest but here is my sad dean thought of the day that i've been twirling around in mind since seeing kath @caskarass's very hilarious post abt sam and cas fighting over cas bringing up sam's embarrassing childhood prayers. so like, dean's there and he's watching all of this go down and at first he's doubled over laughing his ass off because he's always up for embarrassing his little bro and having CAS tease sammy too is just soo !! yeah that's his bestie, they're all family and cas gets a pass to tease the heck out of sam! but then. after they've all settled down again and they've all returned to their research or whatever they were doing before this, dean just sits there thinking about what cas said, that he and the other angels all heard sam's silly prayers. which means…which means they heard /dean's/ too. because yes, as a child, especially when he was very young, in those first few years after the fire, he prayed. he held on to the words his mom always used to tell him, "angels are watching over you." he was still young, still wanted to believe that good things could happen, that someone would come and save him, make everything better, help his dad stop being so sad and angry. hold sammy when he cries. bring his mom back. so little dean started praying sometimes. pastor jim taught them a few prayers like the hail mary and our father. but he also told them they could ask god for help too. so, sometimes, after a bad night or when he was sad or scared, he'd pray. but not to god, no, he'd pray specifically to the angels his mom said were watching over him. and he'd ask them to help him and sammy. he'd ask them for food or money. he'd ask them to make his dad happy. he'd ask them come and take him away and bring him to his mama in heaven. (more under the cut because i’m evil)

so dean thinks about all those little prayers, and realizes the angels all heard him. and did nothing. he's not mad at cas, doesn't blame him or anything because cas didn't even know him then, and even if cas wanted to intervene he knows the other angels wouldn't have let him. but it just hits him hard, and he slips away to his room and just lays there, his chest clenching painfully as it hits him again that his whole life really was just entertainment for an uncaring god and he was purposely made to suffer again and again for chuck's ~narrative~

he curls into himself and just remembers laying like this as a small child on motel room beds, silently pleading with the angels to please please come please please save him. and while no angels came then, one seeks him out now. cas feels his longing, his distress and goes looking for him, knocks softly on his door, asks, "Dean?"

And dean sits up, murmurs to come in, makes space for cas to sit beside him. Cas asks, "What's wrong?" and dean's instinct is to brush him off, say "Nothing. I'm fine." and move on. But. But this is Cas. His best friend. The love of his life. Dean /likes/ talking to Cas. Even when the stuff they talk about is bad or uncomfortable, he still finds he wants to talk to him about these things. So he tells him about the prayers he already knows Cas has heard. And Cas ends up holding him and telling him he wishes he could have done something then, wishes he could go back and protect dean's younger self. Dean cries a little, face burrowed against Cas's chest, overwhelmed by Cas's love and care. And he still mourns the suffering he went through as a kid, and he's still pissed as fuck at Chuck. But he's glad to be where he is now, to have this angel, to have someone who loves him as deeply and unconditionally as Cas does. It's something he never thought he'd have, something he never even dared pray for. But he has it now, he has it.

sorryyyyy this got so long lmao anyways here are your dean feels, sana enjoy<3

[sikimi]

HEYYYYY, ok so idk if im bothering you rn, but im very sorry if i am T.T anyways, if im allowed, can i please have a study group (the boys) x male reader who has a very feminine look so he always wear a mask because he gets bullied because of it? I wish this isn’t a lot, i wish you have a nice dayyy, take care

Awwe sure!

Study group characters with an insecure feminine male s/o

Characters: Gamin, Minhwan, Hanwool, Geonyeob

Gamin Yoon

Curious bby <3

Always wonders why you wore a mask but doesn't question it

Sometimes whenever you both are walking in the hallways or just staying near the school gates, He always notices how you trend to walk away or looks kinda uncomfortable around a group of people

Ofc that behavior kinda concerns him because you're never like that between ramdom strangers or smth. Maybe you know them

One day, he finally asks you

"Y/n, why do you get nervous whenever we walk near that small group of people? You're never like that with others" he asks, "huh? Oh! I-its nothing, it's just a habit" you shrugged and was about to walk away until he took your hand and made you sit down on the bed, "Do you know those people?" ..... "...well..yes I do" you sighed and finally told Gamin all the things they've done to you and why you wore a mask. Gamin's grip on your shoulders started to tighten up abit (but not until it hurts you tho) "why didn't you tell me sooner..?" "You never asked"

after that, he started to compliment you alot, maybe try to boost your confidence Abit more.

Gamin is shy lover, So while doing this would make him blush abit

If you finally stopped wearing a mask, he'll be very happy and will glare (beat up) at anyone who makes fun your feminine features

But if you still wore that mask, he's fine with it :>

He wants you to stay comfortable with yourself <3

Hanwool Phi

Would stay quiet Abt it and observe more about you

Actually founds out you got bullied by a bunch of people and chooses to go have a 'talk' with them (without you knowing)

The next few weeks, they literally were scared of you

Because they know if they were to mess with you, Hanwool will be real disappointed

You didn't know anything and just went with it

But if you were suspicious and asked him Abt it, he'll just be like "What do you mean, Love?"

Hanwool would baby you <33

Minhwan Ma

This mf will most likely confront you abt it

You have no choice but to open up to him and tell him what's wrong. Like literally- he will attack you with tickles if you don't. THAT'S A THREAT.

Like Hanwool, but will not have a 'talk'

He'll basically burn the person's house down

Or just beat them up

Doesn't care if you go "But I'm like a girl-"

He'll be like "BOI SHUT YO BITCH ASS UP, I DIDN'T DATE YOU FOR NO REASON AT ALL"

would cuddle you all day

Matching clothes, taking you shopping, chilling at home with Netflix, playing videogames all day with music in the background. All perfect

Would love to flex to the others about how beautiful you are

But would respect your comfort zone and stop if you told him to

Geonyeob Park

Ahah.. hahahaha how tf did you get together with this man

Like Minhwan, he'll literally confront you about it but he doesn't do it ramdomly, he'll ask you properly in the right time

After you told him about stuff, he was pissed.

He overthinks alot and the stress from overthinking only makes him even more mad

Not at you ofc

He went out of his way to 'destroy' those people

You don't wanna know all the things he's done with them..

He be covered in Abit of blood but he looks hot in it tho

He'll baby you all day long

This would be a rare moment since he's a Tsundere

Shower you in affection

This man is just 🤌🏼

I'll make more