#i get wishing something could have been done for kieran but for it to be Canon? just write your own teal mask good ending AU i think | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cowboydisaster · 2 years ago

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The Fire In Your Eyes

part VIII: horseshoe overlook iv

pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

word count: 15.2k

summary: it's time for the train job, the biggest job you've ever done. You've got a bad feeling about it, and by the end you wish you would have listened to your gut.

a/n: Surprise! Early post! Thank you for your patience with this chapter! Yall know I always upload on Wednesday, but i was so sick that i couldn't write, and i had to go to the ER on tuesday night to get fluids. Anyway, this has been the scariest chapter to write ever. Don't kill me please and please don't give up on this series... love yall, don't yell at me and please trust me. This chapter was too long and got split into two parts: part two will be posted in three days time.

beta read by @margowritesthings

warnings: violence, death, minors dni, 18+

series extras

SERIES MASTERPOST

Arthur leaves long before you even wake up, heading back down to Blackwater to find Sean. It gives you a sick feeling in your stomach, but you trust he’ll be okay. Arthur is smart, and even though he's good at getting himself in sticky situations, he's equally good at getting out of them. It doesn't do much to help your worry, but it’s all you can cling to for right now.

You swirl your half empty cup of coffee in your hand, leaning down for the percolator to reheat it. The fire is warm, alongside the sun, and you find yourself grateful for the off the shoulder shirt you’d picked up a few days ago. It's the perfect temperature you think, tasting the bitter coffee. You're startled out of your thoughts by a weary presence.

“Penny for your thoughts, ma’am?” Kieran asks, walking passed to sit down opposite of you on a crate. He looks nervous, like he was afraid to come sit, and you feel sorry for it. Kieran seems like a nice man, just someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Just thinkin’ about all that's goin’ on… I see they let you live, huh?” You chuckle, and Kieran nods, nervously.

“Well Mr. Morgan convinced Dutch to let me stay, I thought maybe that was your doin.” Kieran says, and your eyebrow pings up in shock.

“Did he now?” You hum, surprised by Arthur’s choice, “No, That was all Mr. Morgan. Well good for you, I just hope he won’t regret it.”

“Oh he won’t! I'm real good with horses, miss, worked in a stable most my life. I’m sure I can be of help with anything you folks need, especially in that regard. I can do anything, even latrines. I’ll earn my keep, miss, I will.” Kieran stutters and you nod, eyeing him over.

“But speakin’ of horses… that palomino over there, the blue eyed one, is she yours?” Kieran asks, nodding towards Athena, who has her neck to the ground, tearing through the bale of hay there. You smile, watching as she pins her ears at Old Boy, keeping the hay for herself.

“Yeah, she’s mine. Just got her since we’ve been here.” You smile, and Kieran takes note of her configuration.

“She looks like a thoroughbred. Nice and tall, lean and muscular.” Kieran points out, and you hum at his accuracy.

“She is.” You respond, eyeing whether or not Kieran has a motive or if he's just a lover of all things equine. You sip at your bitter coffee, letting him speak for himself.

“Y’know palomino thoroughbreds are of the rare sort, n’ with those blues? Well you got a real fine animal, miss.” Kieran says, doting over your mare. You smile, making a note to mention Kieran’s knowledge of horses to Arthur. Maybe that could be his designated contribution. At least he’d be doing something he enjoys instead of getting harassed and threatened by the gang all day.

“Thank you.” You hum, drinking the rest of your coffee.

"Well I reckon I better take my coffee and head back to shuckin' corn till they give me a better job. But it was real nice talkin' to you, miss. You're the first person who's treated me like a person rather than an animal since I've been here." Kieran smiles, filling up his cup with the percolator before nodding to you and heading back to Pearson's wagon. You frown, feeling sorry for him. You were lucky enough to have been found by Arthur, but it could have gone any other way. O'Driscolls could have found you first, and you could be in Kieran's shoes right now.

Sighing, and taking your cup of coffee, you stand up and walk past Strauss's tent, ignoring his greeting. There's a little log sitting near the edge of the cliff behind his tent, and it's a perfect little spot to sit and think. Not wanting to be bothered, your eyes stay pinned on the log as you make your way towards it. The view is breathtaking, you can see everything from the Dakota River to the tops of the Grizzlies from the spot as you sit down, drinking in the warm air. It's a secluded little area, far enough from camp to get away from the arguments and bickering, but close enough for safety. You're enjoying your solitude, watching two bucks fight down below the cliff, they're antlers are stuck together as they rip and rug. It's an interesting sight, until it's interrupted by a throat clearing behind you.

"John." You sigh, annoyed not with his presence but the fact that you know why he's here.

"Nice to see you too." John chuckles, bringing his leg over the log to sit next to you with a cigarette between his lips.

“Gotta get some supplies for this train job, I could use an extra hand that ain't a dumbass.” John asks, leaning backwards to stretch. You sigh, not wanting to even think about the damn train job. But nonetheless, you nod.

“Sure. What exactly is your plan for goin’ about it?” You ask, scooching towards John as he pinches the cigarette between his fingers, shaking it before tossing it on the ground. He pulls a map from his pocket, unfolds the heavily used paper, and holds it out for you to see.

“Trains' comin’ from Riggs Station. It’s dropping off its security detail in The Heartlands, and after dark it’s heading down to Rhodes to pick up the next regiment.” He explains, tracing his finger over the paper from Riggs Station to Rhodes.

“So it’ll be completely unguarded for this whole stretch of tracks?” You ask. It sounds too good to be true, but you know that John and Arthur have done this enough by now. They know how to get proper information. But the idea of the train job still makes your stomach flip with anxiety as you’ve never robbed anything as big as a train.

“Well, not exactly. The security that they’re payin the big bucks for won’t be there, but we expect a few armed passengers, and some local boys guardin’ the train for extra cash. It won't be completely unguarded, but it sure as hell won’t be a militia like you’d expect.”

You nod, taking the map from his hands gently, and looking it over.

“Where do we board, n’ how are we boardin’ it?” You ask, and John places his index finger over a little area labeled Dewberry Creek, just past the Lemoyne/New Hanover stateline.

“Here. We’ll have to stop the train, or it’ll take us right into town. I figure we get an oil wagon, ease it over the tracks. When that train comes through and sees that oil? It’ll stop just fine. We board her, encourage those rich bastards to give up their grammy’s pearls and we ride out.” John explains, tucking the map back into his pocket.

“Alright… seems like a solid plan.” You admit, ignoring your gut, “Where do we get a full oil wagon?” You ask, dusting some dirt off of your new jeans.

“That’s where you come in. Only place I reckon we find one is the oil fields, out in The Heartlands, you know of it?”

You shake your head no, “Uh-uh.”

“Well it's well guarded for the most part, but most of those guys sleep or drink on the job. And they don’t get paid enough to give a damn. I’m heading over now to scout the place out, get an idea of the schedule. Thought maybe you could tag along, put that head to use instead of washin’ clothes for old Susan.”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure if he's just complimented you or insulted you, but still, you nod.

“Alright. Let me pack some stuff, I’ll meet you by the horses.”

John nods as you walk back towards your tent. With a sigh, you pull the canvas open. Your saddle bag is sitting on your bed, and you stuff it with some provisions and a change of clothes, then decide that you’ll need to grab some more ammo from Arthur's tent just in case. Once everything is all packed and settled, you swing your saddlebag over your shoulder and head back out. You stop around the back of Arthur’s wagon, picking up a few cases of express bullets and some throwing knives from the makeshift armory.

“What does she want from him now? I never liked hearin' about her…” Marybeth hisses, and you look up, startled, realizing she is standing in Arthur’s tent. You’re peeking around the back of the wagon, eavesdropping as Marybeth places a crisp white envelope on Arthur’s bedside table.

“I always thought Mary was nice…” Tilly responds, picking up the envelope and looking it over before returning it.

“Nice like a patch of poison ivy.” Marybeth bites, and Tilly rolls her eyes.

“You didn’t even know her. Not when she was really around, anyway. She was always kind, just… didn’t agree with our life. Can you blame her?” Tilly sighs, and they walk out of the tent together.

Your eyebrows pull together, and you walk around the outside of his tent until you're at the entrance. You hum, looking at the envelope before striding through his tent towards it. It’s upside down on his table, and you know you shouldn’t be snooping through his mail, but you pick it up and flip it over regardless. Written in sloppy cursive is ‘Arthur’ and you look after the lettering for a while. The paper is fancy, the kind that is expensive and only available in the city. Your finger trails over the lettering, and it itches to tear the red seal off and read the contents, but you restrain yourself. You know if the roles were reversed Arthur would respect your privacy. Sighing, you place the envelope back and meet John by the horses, wondering who Mary might be the whole way over. John is just climbing into the saddle when you approach.

“Ready to go?” He asks, settling himself down over Old Boy and checking the straps on his saddlebag.

“Sure.” You mumble, mounting up onto Athena and giving her a nice pat. Once you’re settled, the two of you start cantering out of the trails, nodding to Karen who is keeping watch. Instead of riding towards Valentine, John leads you out towards the Heartlands, into unfamiliar territory for you. You can’t help but think about those men, Milton and Ross, and wonder why in the hell you’re all robbing a train right now.

“Why does Dutch keep pushin’ this job?” You holler up, squeezing Athena to run faster after John.

“I got no idea.” He yells back to you. Once you run over the tracks the terrain changes from grass to dry, sandy dirt, and you try to keep Athena on the trail to avoid getting any rocks lodged in her shoes.

“It don’t make sense, we should be leavin. Now I don't want to, not at all, but there was Pinkertons right next to our camp, just a stone's throw away.” You shake your head, unbelieving of Dutch’s terrible call.

“Do you think they know where we are?” John asks, turning in his saddle a bit as he gallops on.

“No. No if they knew where we are they would have just came to camp… But still, approachin’ us like that when we had Jack with us? Tellin’ us, in front of him, what happened to Mac? They can all go to hell.” You hiss, and John goes quiet for a minute. All you can hear is hooves pounding as you wait for his response.

“You and Arthur had Jack?” John asks, like he's angry, but mostly surprised. Your eyebrows draw together, unsure of why it’s a big deal.

“Well, yeah. Abigail asked us to watch him for a bit, just to cheer him up.” You respond as he leads you up the bank towards Citadel Rock. John huffs loudly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as if he disapproves.

“You got a problem with that?” You bite, noticing the tension in his shoulders, and his quiet, aggressive demeanor.

“She acts like I ain’t there… for her or the boy.” John hisses, shaking his head. It grows quiet again as you think back to Abigail’s pleading tears, begging you to take Jack because John wouldn't.

“Are you?” You ask, with some judgment. John really thinks about your question, slowing Old Boy to a trot as he comes up near the slope of Citadel Rock. He left them, but he came back, that counts for something in his eyes. Surely, it counts in Abigail’s eyes too….

“Well yeah!” John says defensively, “Im tryin’... tryin’ to get money for them at least, so she can raise the boy up proper.” John says, stopping his stallion at the edge of the cliff, overlooking The Heartlands. You pull Athena up alongside him, stopping so you can look him in the eyes.

“Money don’t matter if you ain’t there for ‘em.” You whisper, no harshness or judgment in your eyes, although he takes it with such, pulling back and scrunching up his face in anger.

“The hells that supposed to mean?” He bites, dropping his reins and throwing an arm in the air towards you. You keep your calm demeanor, only wanting to help the little family. You have no quarrels against John or his parenting, but you’re the one in camp watching Abigail comfort a crying Jack when his daddy isn't there to tuck him in night after night.

“It’s just…” You think over your words, tongue darting out over your lips, “Your boys' real upset, he misses ya John. Abigail won't admit it but she misses you too.” Your wrist rests on the horn of your saddle, toying with the leather reins as you watch John’s face soften. He sighs, eyes downcast as he runs his hand over his face, careful not to catch the healing stitches on his right side.

“You think?” He asks, looking up to you, and you nod your head up and down, sure.

“I don't know what I’m doin’ Star.” John sighs, doubting himself. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be there for Jack and Abigail, he doesn't know how to. He doesn't see himself cut out to be a father or a husband, and he has a hard time believing his family wants him around.

“None of us do,” You huff a laugh, thinking of your own situation with Arthur, “You just gotta try your best to do right by them.”

John nods, offering you a small, sad smile as he leans over to tap your knee in thanks. Without another word, but with a mutual understanding, you both dismount your horses. Then it’s time to get down to work. John takes both the horses, and he hitches them down the bank a ways so they can’t be seen from the roads or the fields. As he takes them away, you pull out your binoculars. Crouching, you look through the glass and take in the infamous Heartland Oil Fields. There is one big building, the factory, on the left side of the tracks that run straight through the place. On the right are smaller buildings, you’re presuming bunks, outhouses and storage rooms. The entire place is fenced in, except for where the tracks run through and the main entrance, guarded by two armed men. You search for an oil wagon, and find a few but you’re not sure which are empty or full. Armed guards stand all around the place, and there is a damn moat of oil ponds on the right perimeter. You pull the binoculars down, hearing John return as he walks up beside you. He too is eyeing the factory, face drawn up as he thinks over a plan.

“How do you reckon we go about this?” You ask, handing him over the binoculars. He takes them, and does the same look around that you’ve just had.

“We stay here and figure out their routine. They have a checkpoint at the front gate, so if we watch them long enough we’ll know which wagons are full and when. Then we slip in at night, once the workers have gone home. We’ll only have to get past the guards.” John explains and you sigh, nodding. You look up at the sun, holding your fingers up to the horizon. It’s nearly 4PM, you’re gonna be here for a while.

“Why don’t you make us a fire or somethin? And grab my bedroll too. This is uncomfortable as hell.” You ask of him as you plop down on the dirt, taking the first watch.

— — — —

“Star?” John mumbles, and you groan, eyelashes fluttering. You curl your knees in tighter until John shakes your shoulder.

“Star, get up. It’s time to go.” John says, and those four words alone pull you from your slumber, it's time to go.

In the past six hours you and John had traded shifts a handful of times, and both picked up the same pattern. A wagon is filled every hour on the hour, and then left for only ten minutes while the guards do their rounds. Once the ten minutes are up, the wagon is taken out the front gate by a heavily armed detail, and sent off. You had suggested earlier that it might be easier to steal the wagon after it leaves the oil fields, but John had said the risk of the oil wagon getting shot would be too high. So you stick with the original plan, leaving you only ten minutes to sneak into the place and sneak out with the wagon. It’ll be hard, but it’s your only option.

“They just started their rounds, hurry up.” John explains as you scramble to your feet. You notice he has the camp taken down already, and the fire is nothing but smoking ashes as you quickly roll up your bedroll. Quietly whistling for Athena, you wait for her to arrive before strapping down your bedroll and jumping onto her back. The ten minute countdown has already begun as you and John gallop down the hill.

“Which way do we go in?” You ask, running after John towards the right flank of the fenced oil fields.

“We're gonna come up on the right side, ditch the horses a ways out, and jump the fence. Wagon should be sitting right there. Then we just drive it right out the front gate.” John hollers back, slowing Old Boy down once you can see the fence. Coyotes yip and howl in The Heartlands, making the night even more eerie as you approach the factory. With the dark and the distance, none of the guards can see your horses as you both dismount and break for the fence. You shoo both horses, signaling them to flee. And then you're running, keeping your breaths controlled and steady as you watch out for any straggling guards. John reaches the fence before you do. It’s not very high and he easily jumps over it.

“C’mon!” John whispers as you throw yourself over the fence, landing painfully on your ankle with a wince. He grabs your elbow, pulling you along with him. Once you're inside, you take a look around to get your bearings. You see a few swinging lanterns in the distance, all guards on watch, but none of them look in your direction. Most of the lanterns near the bunk houses have been snuffed out for the night, leaving you to the shadows. You turn in the other direction and see exactly what you're looking for.

“Right there!” You whisper, pointing ahead to the wagon. It’s pulled in front of one of the tents, and John helps you run towards it. Two white shire horses are hooked up to the wagon, and you’re glad to see that they’re strong and agile.

“Go on, get up there. I’ll drive.” John says, hushed as he breaks away from you to get on the left side of the wagon. You’re not sure how much time you have, but surely it’s not much. Your heart pumps loudly in your ears as you climb up the side of the wagon, ignoring the slight pain in your ankle. John clambers up, and just as he reaches the bench seat you hear a low, deep growl. You snap your head around to catch the source and the blood runs from your face at the sight of a massive bloodhound. A guard dog. His jaw snaps as he snarls at you with a warning.

“John…?” You whisper, so quietly that he barely hears. He turns and sees the dog, and his eyes flicker from it to the guards walking on the other side of the factory. The dog's hackles are raised as it snarls, showing its teeth. You know that if it barks, or alerts the guards in any way, you’ll both be caught. John shushes it and slowly starts to roll the wagon away, quietly cueing the horses onward. The dog snarls again, snapping its jaws as you quietly ride the wagon away.

“What do we do? What if it alerts someone?” You whisper, heart racing. If the dog alerts a single guard, you’ll have every person in the facility shooting at you.

“I don’t know, drive like hell, I guess.” John offers as you watch the dog. John has the horses going at a nice trot towards the entrance, and sweat runs down your brow as the dog runs after the wagon. You’re just about to breach the front gate when it happens- when the bloodhound does what bloodhounds do. It bays, and it bays loud.

"What is it boy? What ya find?" Someone hollers, and a lantern flicks on in one of the tents. John flicks the reins over the horse's backs harshly and they pick up a canter towards the front gate.

“Shit!" You hiss as the dog continues, head tossed up in the air as guards start to come out and find the disturbance. One man comes out from a tent, still in pajamas with a rifle in hand. Your eyes widen as he stares directly at you.

“Right there! They’re takin’ a wagon!” The barely clothed man yells, and John curses as he smacks the horses with the reins again, and they take off. More guards and workers seem to come out and see you all escaping, and everyone readies their rifles. John steers the horses out the main gate just as bullets start to whiz past your head.

“Stop them!” Another guard calls out, “Get the damn law!”

Bullets ping against the wooden wheels of the wagon, and buzz through the air past your head. You lean your head down to protect yourself as you grab your carbine from around your shoulder, good thing you grabbed those bullets.

“Shoot somethin’!” John yells, maneuvering the horses along the roads in the direction of Dewberry Creek.

“Im tryin!” You yell back, loading your carbine before popping up and taking down two guards who were shooting from behind the fence. A few bullets ping against the side of the wagon, and you gasp, realizing how quickly it could go up in flames. You pop up from the bench again, and fire into the chests of three men who were running after the wagon.

“Watch the damn oil, you morons!” One of the guards yells to his men. You shoot down three more men before you have to reload again. John is getting you further from the oil fields, and the flashing of gunfire gets farther away until two riders come out after the wagon. You’re still filling up the magazine when they ride up on you, and John ducks, yelling something. A few more bullets whiz passed before you stand up and shoot both men down from their horses. You pant, ducking as three more riders gallop after you both. John has the horses running at a dizzying pace as you stand, taking down two men. You're extra careful not to shoot or hurt the rider's horses as you come up and shoot the last man.

“Is that the last of them?” John yells as you pant, wiping sweat from your brow and slumping back into your seat.

“Yeah, that's all.” You breathe heavily, tossing your carbine strap back over your shoulder. You whistle, and turn around to watch for Athena. John does the same, and luckily after a few minutes, both come running behind the wagon.

“Where we takin’ this again? I know you said the creek, but specifically?” You ask, taking your hat off and setting it in your lap to untie your braid. You pull the cloth tie out, running your fingers through the waves that are now down your back.

“We’re droppin’ it near this torn down house. I’ll leave the horses go and we'll come back for it when the train comes through.” John explains, and you nod.

It’s a bit of a ride, especially with the pace you go at. The horses are exhausted and scared from the shootout, so John doesn’t push them past a trot. It's nice to just relax in the passenger seat, and you focus on the humming of bugs and frogs while your heartbeat settles. It's a cloudy night, the kind where a cold fog settles over the place, but you don't mind. It's still beautiful. The moon pokes through the fog in a hazy glow, offering some light for John to lead you to Dewberry Creek. He winds the wagons down the open hills until you reach a small trail along a big dried up creek bed.

"Guess the creek ain't fairin' so well." You point out, watching as coyotes yip and run through the dried up creek.

"Guess not." John offers, pulling the wagons toward a structure. It looks like a little house that burned down. The foundation is intact, along with the fireplace and support beams, but the rest has burned away.

"We pull them off right here." John says, turning the horses to walk in between the house and a patch of trees. He starts to slow them down, and you hop from the wagon before it stops. Immediately you jog around the backside to check the cargo.

"Shit, John! Shit!" You hiss, taking in the oil wagon that is riddled with random bullet holes. There's about five or six, and no more oil leaks from them. You knock on the side of the wagon as John jumps down, groaning when the wagon sounds hollow.

"All the oils' gone." You sigh, rubbing your face as John paces around the backside of the wagon. Athena grows antsy from the upset, and she stomps and rears lightly.

"Now what the hell do we do?" You ask angrily, calling Athena over to comfort her. You hand her an oatcake to munch on and stroke her neck as John comes up with a plan. Athena's gentle nickers calm you down, and you take a deep breath as she leans into your hand. John is standing back from the wagon, hands on his hips as he thinks it over.

"It'll work just the same. The conductor won't know if it's full or not." John says, biting his cheek and you sigh.

"We can't just go get another one." John huffs, "That oil factory is on high alert now."

"You're sure it'll work?" You ask, stepping towards him with raised eyebrows.

"It'll work." He reassures you. You nod, sighing and waking towards the front of the wagon where the two white shire horses are hooked up. John does the same on the other side, and you both slice the leather harness straps, freeing the horses.

"When's it comin' through?" You ask, patting the shire horse to run off.

"Tomorrow night." John says, and your stomach aches at the thought. Only twenty four hours until your first train job.

Athena and Old Boy are grazing next to each other just a short walk away from the wagon, and you and John silently walk towards them, sheathing your knives and watching as the pair of white shire horses run up over the hill, bucking and whinnying.

"You ever rob a train before?" John asks, looking over at your anxious expression. You shake your head, coming up to Athena.

"No, afraid not. Just drunken idiots usually." You chuckle, and John smiles.

"Y'know I'm glad it was Arthur's watch you stole, and not mine back in Tumbleweed. I probably never would have noticed, and you'd still be runnin' all over hell in the west." John chuckles, and you smile at the memory, mounting onto Athena.

"Still can't believe he brought ya back like he did, but I'm glad for it." John says, climbing onto his stallion. Your eyebrows pull together lightly at his remark.

"Why's that?" You ask, cueing Athena into a canter with John behind you.

"Arthur, he ain't never brought someone back to camp before you, and he throws a big fuss when someone new comes in. He gets all pissed and leaves for a few days. He says it's 'easier to lie low with less people.' Musta seen somethin' in you, though." John hollers up to you, and your features soften. You wonder why Arthur chose differently for you, why he brought you back to camp.

"He's different with you." John says, galloping alongside you, and you have to push Athena further ahead to hide the blush on your cheeks. You want to quip something back, but you come up short because you know he's right. You've heard the same testament from each of the girls, Hosea, and Arthur himself.

It grows quiet as you gallop through The Heartlands, avoiding the roads and any lingering lawmen. It's late, near midnight when you finally get close to camp. You can hear the cheers and laughter from the road, and you smile back at John.

"Guess they found him." You chuckle, trotting Athena under the fallen tree into camp. When you breach the trees, coming into the little opening, the sight has you laughing. Camp is lighter than it's been in a while. Sean is standing on a crate giving some grand speech with everyone gathered around, and by the sound of it he's already drunk. You hitch Athena, and John nudges your elbow.

"Reckon I'm gonna go be with my family. Thanks for your help." John pats your back before walking off towards the camp. You smile, taking off the straps of Athena's saddle and placing it over the hitching post before walking towards the crowd.

"Get a load of this bastard." Arthur huffs, walking up beside you with two whiskeys in hand, gesturing to Sean. He hands you a drink, and you smile, glad to be home.

"Found him strung up in a damn tree surrounded by bounty hunters."

"A-and I owe my life to old English over 'tere!" Sean points to Arthur, "Yep, 'tats right! Old grumpy Arthur Morgan! Come to save me, ya did! You're my brother, ya arsehole!" Sean laughs heartily, jumping down from the crate and approaching the two of you.

"Miss!" Sean calls out to you, and Arthur chuckles, sipping his drink. Sean comes to you with a big toothless grin, a contagious one, and wraps you in a hug.

"Ah, I've already got the gossip from Ms. Jones, callin ya Star now, eh?" Sean asks, letting you go before nudging you with his elbow, "It's fittin! Y'know they say you twose are tied together like glue!" Sean winks at you lightly, nudging you and gesturing to Arthur.

"I know a couple good spots for a shag if you two need a getaway. N' I know an Irishman if you get tired a' this ol'-" Sean starts, pointing to Arthur, but Arthur has had enough.

"Would you please shut up?" Arthur bites, hand pulling away from the bridge of his nose as you giggle. Sean puts his hands up in mock surrender.

"I was just teasin'! Only pullin' yer leg!" Sean chuckles, tipping his hat to you before backing away and rejoining the crowd.

"I did not miss that kid." Arthur sighs, leading you towards the campfire where Javier sits, playing a tune. Everyone is in good spirits, especially as Hosea enters with Dutch and two huge, full cases of alcohol, announcing the return party.

"Yes you did." You tell Arthur, smirking as he sits down on the wolf pelt covered log. You sit down right next to him, closer than what's expected, but you're growing used to the proximity, finding comfort in it even. Sean is talking loudly to the girls as everyone gathers around the crates of hooch. The bottles pass around quickly as Javier picks up a new tune. It's one that everyone knows, and you smile.

"Cielito Lindo." You remark with a chuckle as Javier picks up the rhythm on his guitar. More people gather around the fire. Dutch, John, the girls, Uncle, Lenny, even Abigail and Jack join in as Javier starts to play. Jack sits on John's lap, nestled right next to Abigail, and you smile at them.

"¡Ay, ay, ay, ay! ¡Canta y no llores!" Everyone hollers out, not sure of the lyrics or their meaning, but enjoying the energetic song. Even Arthur sings along, and you giggle at his steadily behind, off key tune.

"¡Porque cantando se alegran, Cielito lindo, los corazones!" Javier sings out, passionately stringing the guitar as a few people clap along and laugh. The smile on your face is brighter than it's been in a while as you watch the weight lift off of the gang's shoulders. Arthur is smiling, and for that you are very grateful. You'd do anything to see him like this more often, carefree and happy. Javier continues the song verse, and everyone claps along until the chorus comes.

"¡Ay, ay, ay, ay! ¡Canta y no llores!" Everyone calls out again, and you hold your drink up a little as you sing it. Javier continues the song, and you chuckle as Jack pulls Abigail up from her seat to dance with him. He spins around and hops with very little rhythm, just having fun. Arthur chuckles beside you, eyes bright as they lay upon the same scene.

"You want another drink?" Arthur asks, noticing that your first is nearly gone. You shake your head.

"No thanks, think I'm cuttin' myself off for the night." You say, handing the bottle over for him to finish.

"I'm surprised you drank at all after that mess in Valentine." Arthur chuckles as Javier sings out the song's verse.

"I only had one. Don't plan on bein' that sick ever again, and we got one hell of a job to do tomorrow." You whisper, mind lingering on the train job. You'd like to drink, just to forget about it, but heading into it with a foggy mind is the opposite of what you need. Arthur sighs, digging the heel of his boot into the dirt.

"We do." He remarks, eyes flickering up to Dutch. Arthur can't understand why Dutch is pushing this job right now with the Pinkertons so close. But he trusts Dutch, and knows he'll lead them out of it. You're not so sure. Dutch is watching you from across camp, a snake-like glint in his eye. You can see the way he wants to use you, to play you like his chess piece and defeat some great power. It's useless, it's ridiculous. An outlaw runs from the law, but Dutch is challenging it, intentionally aggravating it. It's a dangerous game.

"I got a bad feeling about this job, Arthur." You bring up that gut feeling again, and you know you're right. You don't trust this job, and something is going to go wrong.

"I know you do… You and John get that wagon today?" Arthur asks as Javier picks up a different song on his guitar.

"We got the wagon just fine, but it's empty. We were caught red handed and they shot it to hell, all the oil leaked out." You sigh, embarrassed to admit the failure to Arthur, "John says it'll work just fine though, the conductor won't know if it's empty or not." You add as Arthur curses.

"Enough about that, why don't we just enjoy the party?" You ask, wanting to talk about anything other than the train job and the damn empty wagon. Arthur taps your knee with his knuckles.

"Sure." He says, offering you a small smile and you release a breath. Javier is playing a new song now, one you don't recognize, but it's a joyful tune, light and happy.

"Arthur!" Marybeth calls from across the fire, giggling and trodding over towards you both with a big, bright smile.

"Yes, Miss Gaskill?" Arthur asks as Marybeth comes forward and grabs one of his hands.

"Dance with me?" She asks, leaning back in an attempt to pull him from his seat. He chuckles, looking over to you for a moment with a rosy blush on his cheeks.

"Oh, I think I'll sit this one out-" Arthur starts, but you shove him upwards by his shoulder, laughing.

"Go on!" You encourage, shooing them with your hands. Marybeth giggles as she pulls Arthur away, and he turns around to shoot you a glare, with pink cheeks. You chuckle, looking after them as she takes him away from the fire. She pulls him just near the back of Dutch's tent, beside the poker table. He takes her hand, standing awkwardly far from her as the other rests on her waist. You can't help but snort as he starts to dance.

He's awful. Truly the man can't dance, but it's just another quirk that you love about him. He swings side to side with her, arms loosely flinging about, and even though it looks ridiculous they both have huge smiles. A few others have joined, and now Dutch spins Molly around eloquently, and Karen and Sean cling to each other, drunk as ever. Your eyebrows pop up in surprise at the two of them. You had only seen Sean in passing before Blackwater, but Karen had never mentioned they were together.

Your eyes flicker back to Arthur and Marybeth. They still dance merrily, but Marybeth seems to be scolding Arthur over something, arguing with him. Your eyebrows pull together as he huffs, bickering with her like a sibling would. Javier's song crescendos to an end, and as the claps die down, he starts a new one. You recognize it immediately, Ángel de Amor. It's a slower paced song, a sweet and romantic one. People join their own conversations as the song begins, leaving Javier to quietly carry the tune on his own. As it begins, Marybeth and Arthur's argument seems to come to a head as Marybeth gives him one final scold, and then walks away from him with a big smile. Confused, your eyebrows pull together as Arthur returns to you, but he doesn't sit down. He stands in front of you, extending his right hand down to yours.

"Dance wit' me?" He asks, and you chuckle.

"I don't know, you gonna trip me?" You ask, smiling up at him. The nervousness breaks away as he chuckles.

"Not tonight." He says, and you take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet.

"C'mon." He whispers, leading you past the campfire towards the front of his tent, far enough away from the campfire for some privacy.

Arthur pulls you into the same goofy dance as he did with Marybeth, and you smile brightly. Arthur's sure that your smile could outshine the stars, evoking that joy from you is one of the better things he's done in his life, something he wants to keep doing.

"¿Quién te cortó las alas, mi ángel? ¿Quién te arranco los sueños hoy?" Javier sings softly as Arthur dances with you.

"Y'know, I'm sorry to say this Arthur, but you can't dance for shit." You chuckle, glancing down at his feet that move with very little rhythm.

"Oh I can. I'm just havin' fun. You shoulda seen me in my ballroom days." Arthur quips, and you laugh. You're sure he's joking, how Arthur could willingly be put in a ballroom is beyond you, it's surely a joke. Arthur raises an eyebrow at your laugh, wondering if you're seriously doubting him.

"You weren't never in a ballr-" You start, but are cut off with your own gasp as Arthur pulls you tightly against him. His hand snakes to your waist, his other clasps your hand tightly as he stands up straight and tall with a raised eyebrow. His body is stiff, but relaxed all the like, he's collected in his movements, experienced, as he leans you down, dipping you. Your eyes are wide in shock, as he holds you in the dip with a cocky smirk. Your heart rate pounds with him pulled so tightly against you, your neck exposed and hair cascading down as he bends you backwards. Then he brings you back up, chuckling.

"You continue to surprise me more and more every day, Arthur." You chuckle, still in disbelief, "Where in the hell did you learn that?" You ask, heart beat returning to normal as he pulls you against him again, swaying you in a very simple slow dance.

"Had to take lessons once when I was younger. Didn't care for it at all, but I was an idiot back then." Arthur says, and you hum, wondering if these fancy dancing lessons have anything to do with the letter in his tent.

"Ángel, Ángel, ángel de amor. No te abandones." Javier continues the song as Arthur pulls you a little closer to him, hand warm on your waist.

Your cheeks flush, hidden away in his chest as Arthur sways with you on the grass. A few eyes linger on you both, but Arthur turns your back to them so you never know. He's enjoying the moment. You haven't left yet, haven't walked away with blushed cheeks or made an excuse as to why you can't dance with him, and that has to count for something he's sure.

It grows quiet between the two of you as you rest your head against his shoulder and sway with him. Soon your arm grows tired, so Arthur snakes both of his around your waist and you place yours on his chest. It's incredibly vulnerable for you to be like this, but you trust Arthur. He hasn't pushed you. Abigail nudges John across the camp, nodding her head to you, and a few more eyes linger on you both. Arthur ignores them, keeping you in a position so that you can't even see the nosey stares.

"You look beautiful." Arthur whispers, eyes looking down at you, watching as the wind tousles your hair and your dark red shirt brings out your complexion beautifully. Your eyes sparkle up at him, but you blush and hide them away in his shoulder as he sways you to the music.

"Arthur, stop." You chastise, cheeks red as you hide them. You're a bit upset that he's ruined the mood, taken your mind from simple dancing to the conundrum of your heart. He hums deeply, nodding his head.

"You ain't ready yet, I know… I'll wait 'til you are. For you, I will." Arthur whispers, and tears begin to pool in your eyes, "And if you decide you don't want any a' this, that's okay too. I'm still your best friend." Arthur whispers, and tears run down your face silently, soaking into his dark shirt.

"I'll dance with you for real one day, somewhere nice." Arthur whispers, and you look up to his green eyes. They soften when they see the tears falling from your own. You're thinking of a proper response when Arthur speaks up for you.

"S'okay. You don't gotta say anything." Arthur whispers, thumb wiping away the tears from your cheek. You sniffle, hands clinging to the lapels of his shirt as the music continues on for a bit longer.

"Yo no siento el que me hayas querido. Yo no siento el que me hayas amado." Javier sings, strumming his guitar.

Arthur's heart aches, holding you like this, swaying with you and knowing you won't allow yourself to open up. He places his chin atop your head, inhaling deeply before letting the breath go with his worries. You're here now, that's all he can ask for.

Your heart aches just the same. It's torn in two, both sides fighting for different things. One is fighting for what you know: independence, freedom, and solitude in the west without being held down by a gang. And the other is fighting for what you want: family and friendships, the safety of numbers, purpose and most of all him.

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut while blocking the thoughts out, letting yourself enjoy the moment.

"I'm sorry, Arthur." You whisper, and he leans back, unsure if he's heard you right.

"What on earth are you apologizin' for?" He asks as Javier's song comes to a bittersweet end.

"Me… us." You whisper, gesturing to him and yourself. You're a mess, unable to get your feelings in order, unable to figure out what you want, and to tell him. You feel awful, dragging him along without ever fully opening up to him but it's so hard.

Arthur takes your hands in his own, and you look up to his eyes.

"Cut that out. Don't you apologize to me, ya hear? Not for this." Arthur says, no room for argument and you nod.

"Now c'mon. Plenty of people waitin' for us at the fire." Arthur says, pulling you by the hand towards the camp. You pass by John's tent, feeling a little better.

With a small smile on your lips, you walk on with him. That is until you hear a shuffling from John's tent, and a groan. You stop dead in your tracks, looking up to where John and Abigail sit next to Jack by the fire. If they're at the campfire… who's in their tent?

"C'mere ya little minx!" Sean chuckles from inside the tent. Your jaw drops, and your hand falls slack from Arthur's. He turns at your reaction, catching the same scene.

"Isn't this John's tent?" Karen asks, and you hear the ripping of buttons immediately. You look at Arthur with wide eyes, and a slack jaw, chuckling in horror.

"Eh, it's not like he's usin' it anyways!" Fabric hits the floor as you and Arthur stare at the closed tent in shock, "Ah, you're beautiful Karen Jones, beautiful, I love ya! And I love these too!" Sean chuckles and your cheeks burn red.

"Oh." Karen whispers, disappointed in something as you start to laugh.

"Meet Macguire junior!" Sean hollers, and immediately Arthur clasps his hand over your mouth to quiet the loud laughter that was about to fall from it.

"Is- is that it?" Karen asks, and you're nearly wheezing as Arthur keeps his hand over your mouth, chuckling himself until you're out of earshot from their tent.

"Oh my god." You laugh until tears form in your eyes, and Arthur is laughing as well. You've managed to escape in front of Arthur's tent to avoid the show those two are putting on. Once your laughter dies down, you wipe your eyes, moving them to the campfire once more.

Abigail has taken Jack into her lean-to next to Strauss's wagon to lie down for the night, and some of the girls along with Dutch and Molly have retired for bed.

"You comin' back to the fire?" Arthur asks, following your gaze. You look up to him, then to the festivities, biting your cheek.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed, actually." You whisper, feeling bad for bailing so soon. You're exhausted from the oil wagon today, and you want to be well rested for tomorrow. Arthur’s face falls a bit as he glances at the party behind him, then to his pocket watch.

"So soon?" Arthur asks, looking a little disappointed.

"I'm sorry Arthur, it's just with the train tomorrow… I want to be well rested with a clear head." You whisper.

"I understand." He whispers, it's past one in the morning, and he knows you're tired, "I reckon I'll stay up for a bit yet, keep these boys in line… Get some sleep, Star." Arthur whispers, coming forward to gently chastise you, tapping your temple, "and stop worryin' about the train. It'll go just fine." He offers with a smile before backing away.

"Night Arthur." You mumble, attempting to follow his instructions and release your anxieties.

"G'night, Star."

— — — —

The next morning, you wake up earlier than expected. You don't know what time it is, still haven't replaced Arthur's pocket watch from where it was left behind in Blackwater. But it's quiet enough for you to know that no one else is up. You stretch in bed, enjoying the feel as your achy joints pop. You flex your ankle, noticing that the ache has subsided from your less than stellar landing yesterday, and then you're getting up.

You pull on a dark green overshirt, one of your favorites, a black pair of jeans that button up the whole way, and a little white neckerchief, tied in the front. It's a cute outfit, and you hum, checking yourself over before re braiding your hair and topping it with your black hat. Then you're on the move, in search of some coffee.

You find that you were wrong, you're not the only one up. You chuckle as Jack whizzes up to you, more excited than you've ever seen.

"Aunt Star!" He jumps excitedly, taking your hand and pointing to the hitching posts, "look!" He shouts, giggling.

Your eyebrows knit together at the sight of Kieran taking on the role of the camp farrier. He has a very grumpy Balius with him, and he's working on pulling the nails from the shire's massive shoe.

"Kieren's shoin' the horses…? You ask, confused as to why Jack's so excited, then a chuckle sounds out from your right. Arthur is leaning over his shaving station, face partially covered in shaving cream as he trims his mustache and beard with a barber's blade. You smile at the sight, something you've not seen him do before. Of course he shaves with an incredible amount of detail and care, just like everything else he does.

"Well…" Arthur taps the blade against his pail of water before returning it to his cheek, "when Kieran's done, little Jack here will have four new shoes for playin' horseshoes' with everyone. We haven't been able to play in a long while, not since before you joined us." Arthur explains, and you smile at the idea.

"Well then I can't wait!" You say, rubbing some dirt off of Jack's cheek before he runs off, on his way to tell his very hungover daddy about the ordeal.

"You're good with him. He really seems to care about you." Arthur remarks and you smile.

"Ah, it's nothin'. He's a good kid." You mumble, remembering your earlier task of needing coffee, and you spot the percolator from across camp near Pearson's stew pot. You wonder if it's even full, with so few of the gang members awake.

"I'm gonna go make some coffee, want some?" You ask, but Arthur stops you.

"Already made ya some. It's sittin on my table, should still be hot." He says, wiping the extra cream from his face with a damp towel.

"On the ball this morning, are we?" You ask, chuckling as you move inside his tent to find a steaming tin cup of coffee. You gratefully accept the bitter coffee, enjoying the way the cup warms your hands and the caffeine wakes your mind.

"Well I need a favor." He asks, turning towards you, "Ride with me?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, seeing that he's bribed you, but you nod anyway.

"Sure, where to?" You ask as he comes around the side of his tent, leading you to the large map plastered to the side of his wagon.

"Think right here is a good spot." He taps the map right over a little marshy field labeled Heartland Overflow.

"Why are we goin' all the way out there?" You ask, eyeing over the map. The marsh is near a spot marked Emerald Ranch, a place you haven't heard of before.

"There's a feller nearby that runs a fence. I managed to steal some stuff from the camp where they had Sean, reckon I'll head down and sell it off. Then I figure me n' you can spend the mornin' there. I know you're worried about this train, we can just rest away from camp till it's time." Arthur explains, pulling out his hunting knife to sharpen the blade as he does.

"Okay, that sounds nice." You smile, releasing a breath before taking a sip from your coffee, "Should I take my stuff for the train or will we be back?" You ask, gesturing to your tent.

He follows your gaze, thinking for a moment.

"Ya better take it, I don't know how long we'll be out." He mumbles, and you nod before walking back towards your tent. Amidst your anxieties, you had packed everything you might need for the train: your guns, mask, canned goods in case you get stuck away from camp, extra ammo and the shotgun you'd found at Six Point cabin. Looking over your bed and nightstand just to make sure you haven't missed something, you back out of the tent.

"Kieran done with Balius?" You ask, keeping your voice quiet as to not wake up the many sleeping, hungover gang members.

"Looks to be just about." Arthur says, nodding to where Kieran drops Balius's back hoof to the ground, giving him a pat.

"C'mon then. I'll lead the way." He adds.

You both take your time tacking up the horses. For once, there's no rush to be anywhere. You brush Athena's golden coat thoroughly, petting her and sneaking her treats while Arthur does the same for his stallion. You ease the saddle on her, tightening the cinches just enough before mounting up.

"Ready?" You ask, looking down to Arthur with a chuckle as he is just putting Balius's bridle on.

"Just a minute." He says, rather grumpily. And you wait for him, loosening your reins so that Athena can graze while he clambers up onto his massive horse. Once he's up, he nods for you to follow him out of camp. It's a decently long ride. Emerald Ranch is pretty far out there, but it's close to Dewberry Creek, so at least you won't be far from the train come dark. You focus on the scenery, watching the way the landscape changes the further you ride on. As you get closer, the jutting cliffs turn to grassy plains, and bison cause the ground to shake as they thunder across the fields.

"Are we close?" You holler up to Arthur. Your back is a little sore from the long ride, and you slip your feet out of the stirrups to give your legs rest.

"Sure… Why? You feelin alright?" Arthur turns in his saddle, glancing over your form to check. Really you don't feel alright. You didn't sleep much last night, truthfully you're not sure how Arthur is awake because he slept less than you. You're still not able to shake your nerves either.

"Yeah, just tired is all." You semi lie, but Arthur isn't fooled.

"I'll take you to the Overflow first. You can set us up a proper picnic while I run this stuff down to the fence. Sound good?" Arthur asks, turning Balius off the main road.

"Yeah. You brought a picnic?" You smile, noticing that Arthur's saddlebags are bulkier than usual. You should have noticed earlier that they're stuffed to the brim.

"I did. Nothin' fancy but I figured you might get hungry while we're out here." Arthur answers, and you chuckle, wondering what treats he's packed for you. You trot through the grass, coming upon a little collection of grassy ponds. This must be Heartland Overflow. It's beautiful, and wildlife runs about, scattering at the sound of the horse's hooves.

"Why don't you take my bag n' find us a nice spot?" Arthur asks as you ride up alongside Balius. He turns in his saddle, untying the knots that hold his saddle bag on before slumping it over Athena's croup.

"Okay. Don't take too long or I'm gonna be havin' this all for myself." You admit, chuckling as you turn Athena away, separating from Arthur.

Arthur shakes his head with a smile before pushing Balius into a canter towards a green-roofed barn in the distance. Once he's down the other side of the hill and you can't see him any longer, you turn to your surroundings.

Across the pond is a large weeping willow. It provides a perfect amount of shade, and makes a beautiful spot for the morning. You kiss to Athena, urging her to walk through the ankle deep water toward the other side. Water splashes up and soaks onto your boots as Athena trots through it, enjoying the coolness on her legs. Once you're on the other side, under the weeping willow, you slide down from your mare. You don't bother to hitch her. She trusts you enough to come when you call, and you want her to enjoy the grassy fields while she can. You take the heavy saddle bag and toss it to the ground under the willow before sitting on your knees to go through it.

First you take out a blanket, it's a big blue one, and you stand to spread it out on the grass. The wind works to your advantage as you sprawl it out, making a perfect cushion for you both to sit on. Then, seated on the blanket, you pull out two cans of peaches, two bread rolls, a can of strawberries, two slices of beef jerky, and a chocolate bar. You eye the food hungrily, laying it out nice for when Arthur comes back. Then, just to double check, you reach back into the bag. Your fingers brush against an unfamiliar smooth texture, and your eyebrows pull together as you grip it, taking it out.

Immediately your eyes go wide as, from the bag, you bring out Arthur's journal. You hold the precious book in your lap, looking down to the heavily used pages before looking up at the ridge.

You shouldn't… but Arthur won't be back for some time and you really want to know what he's written. You've only seen the contents of his journal once, back when he showed you in Horseshoe.

Releasing a breath, you curse yourself, deciding just to flip to one page and then put it back. You run your thumb across the pages, flipping to one of the more recent entries. Immediately you smile, chuckling as your eyes run across the page briefly. It's a drawing of you and Lenny. He's leaning on the bar, drinking a beer and you're dancing in front of the pianist. Arthur had managed to capture the moment perfectly, as if he had paused time and drawn it. You scan down your smiling face, looking back to you in the form of Arthur's sketching. Even in the drawing you can see the drunken haze in your eyes, the freedom as you danced to the piano to your heart's content.

Then your eyes flicker to the other side of the page where a neatly written entry is scribbled diagonally on the paper.

In some ways I hope I never forget this night. In others, I wish to wipe it from my mind entirely. It seems that alcohol loosened Star's lips, and I guess it loosened mine too. I just hope I don't come to regret the things I said, the things I remember at least.

You look up from the journal, jaw slack as you attempt to remember what happened that night. What had you said? What had Arthur said?

You swallow thickly, looking down to the journal with some worry before flipping to the next page.

Mary sent me a letter. Said she's in town and heard talk of us in Valentine. She wants to see me, said she misses what we had. I used to. I used to miss her a lot, but I reckon that's all old business now. I think I've finally put Mary in the past, moved on after all these goddamn years. I got some hope now, something good for once.

You look up from the journal with your jaw open again. His journal has left you with more questions than answers, and you huff. Mary clearly meant something to Arthur at one point, perhaps an old fling? But the girls knew of her, so she had to mean something more.

With a newfound sour mood, you tuck Arthur's journal back into his bag. Is it jealousy you feel? Or anger? You're not sure, but without having met her, Mary manages to get under your skin. You wonder if she's pretty, and if she has the money to wear nice dresses and makeup. Then you sigh, frustrated. Even though his journal is stuffed back into his bag, you can feel its leather cover burning into your skin, bugging you.

Hooves sound out from the ridge line, and you look up to see Arthur appear over the hill. He's cantering down towards you, satchel lighter now that he's pawned off some items. Even though you're glad he's back, you can't help the annoyed curiosity that bubbles up in your stomach.

Oblivious, Arthur rides up to the blanket before dismounting.

"Good spot." He says, sending Balius off after grabbing a flask from his satchel, "Turns out old Seamus sells too." Arthur chuckles, tossing the moonshine flask down onto the blanket by your legs.

Attempting to crack a smile, you take the flask and unscrew the lid. Arthur rests down on the blanket beside you, sitting just a few inches from you. Once the lid is undone, you take a swig of the alcohol. It burns, more so than anything you've ever drank, and you cough, throat raw from the stuff.

"Jesus." You cough, handing the flask back to Arthur.

"Moonshine. Nasty stuff." Arthur jokes, taking a drink from the same flask. He doesn't seem to mind it, only groaning once it's down. Arthur sees the distant look on your face, he notices that you haven't touched any of the food laid out either.

"You okay?" Arthur asks, a little crease in between his eyebrows. You look upset, and Arthur hopes that you're not worrying about the train.

"Who's Mary?" You blurt out, not even realizing you've actually said it out loud until Arthur's face draws up.

"What?" Arthur asks, looking almost offended, and very surprised.

"I asked you, who's Mary?" You repeat, looking up to Arthur. Your tone is irritated, and you realize that you're ruining the picnic, but you can't bring yourself to stop. You're mad, mad because Arthur has managed to keep this from you, and apparently you're the only one in the damn gang that doesn't know about her.

"How do you even know about Mary?" Arthur scoffs, eyes squinted as he leans back from you.

"Jesus, I didn't realize she was a secret. I guess I just wanna know why she's callin' you out to her house all the sudden when I haven't even heard of her before." You bite.

Arthur's demeanor changes then, shifting to the angry, threatening man that you've only seen a handful of times in action. Part of you wants to shy away, but you push your shoulders back and meet him head on with the same stubborn aggression.

"Did you read my damn mail?" Arthur hisses, glancing at you, and then down to the bag at your side. Everything seems to click in his head then, and he huffs humorlessly.

"No. No you read my goddamn journal, didn't you? Just couldn't keep your nosey eyes off them pages huh?" He bites, picking up the bag just to toss it at your feet. The contents spill out in your lap, and his open journal falls out alongside the candies he had brought for you, the yellow ones.

"Y'know I hope you read it all. I hope you read every damn page, cause then you won't have to ask anymore questions. We wouldn't be playin this damn game…" Arthur hisses, pacing as he begins to berate you. "Why do you have the right to ask me about Mary when you haven't told me shit about your past? You can't even talk to me. You can't open up at all, closed off like a damn bottle, but you have no problem pryin' into everybody else's lives!" He growls, waiting for you to bite back.

On the ground, feeling like a fool, your lip trembles. You know he's right. He's hit the nail right on the head with his assumption, but it hurts nonetheless. You've stepped too far, you know, but it doesn't stop Arthur from overstepping too.

"Heard you was pryin' into John's business too. God- you're a hypocrite. Did you think at all about your inability to handle your own shit before you went and did that?" Arthur fumes, and you bring your knees up to your chin. Arthur is waiting for your retort, for your comeback. He knows it'll come, but with his back to you, waiting, it doesn't. You always have a retort, and your silence is louder than any insult you could have thrown back at him. When he turns back towards you, already realizing he's crossed a boundary, he sees the tear track running down your cheek.

"Don't." You whisper, sniffling back the tears that fall so often now, "I can take this from anyone but you." You whimper, head falling to your knees.

When Arthur's eyes land upon you he doesn't know what to do. You look so small, crumpled up on the ground, a mess. He wants to argue with you, to be mad about the journal, but at the same time he wants to comfort you. He knows what you're battling right now, and he knows he shouldn't have brought it up. Feeling like an ass, Arthur slumps to the ground at your side again. He lays back against the blanket, looking up at the sky before sighing.

"Mary was my fiancé. Long time ago. Ain't talked to her in years." Arthur admits, and you peek up from your knees, wondering what sparked the change in his tone.

"Now that's all I'm giving you until you tell me somethin too. But for now, eat somethin. We gotta get movin soon." Arthur says, coldly.

— — — —

It's nearly dark. There's just enough light for you to make the trip over to Dewberry Creek. You lead the way silently, still not having said a word to Arthur since the argument. You don't know what to say. Apologies aren't exactly your strong suit. You're mad. Mad at Arthur, but mostly mad at yourself for ruining the day with your selfishness, your hypocrisy as Arthur put it.

You can hear Sean rambling as you approach the old building, and you trot Athena up to where the wagon is hidden.

"Why the hell are you here?" Arthur snaps at Sean, clearly still irritated from earlier. You've put him in a sour mood, one that everyone is going to have to deal with.

"Oi I’m just taggin along! Back for a day n’ already jumpin inta the action! My da always used to say that jumpin in was better than jumpin’ out! But I think he was talkin about gettin some arse!" Sean chuckles, not skipping a beat over Arthur's attitude.

"Oh, shut up." Charles groans, and at the sound of his voice you notice him leaning against one of the beams of the burned down house. John is already in the driver's side of the wagon, and Taima and Old Boy are hooked up to the front. You dismount, walking over to the wagon behind Arthur.

"Look at us! Four strong shootin men, and a lady!" Sean chuckles, climbing up on the wagon beside John who rolls his eyes.

"Shouldn't we be going over the plan?" Charles points out, climbing onto the side of the wagon to hang on, just as you and Arthur do on the other side. The wagon begins to roll out of the trees as John smacks the reins over the horse's backs.

"We roll the wagon over the tracks and leave the horses go." John explains, "They'll see the oil and stop. It's easy."

Sean turns in his seat, looking over the wagon before turning back to John.

"Yeah but t'eres no oil in the wagon." Sean points out, and collectively everyone else rolls their eyes.

"Well the conductor don't know that, so it don't matter!" John bites, irritated with everyone's doubts and questions.

"I don't like it…" You whisper, gripping onto the metal bars of the wagon as it rolls down the road, inching closer towards the train tracks.

"We ain't got much of a choice." John replies. Once the plan is set, Arthur begins ordering people around, crafting a more detailed plan for the job.

"As soon as she stops, board her. Charles, deal with the conductor and the front security. John take the passengers. Sean and Star, as soon as she slows, head to the baggage car." He orders, and you roll your eyes at the assignment he's stuck you with.

"And what are you gonna do?" Charles asks.

"I'm gonna make sure she slows."

John pulls the wagon forward, slowing the horses to a stop once the oil wagon is situated over the tracks. You jump down as John and Arthur begin untying the horses from the front, sending them away into the woods.

"Is everyone good with the plan?" Arthur hollers, and you look around, realizing that this is happening. It's inescapable now, and you'll have to deal with the anxiety in your chest.

"Yeah, we're good." Charles answers, and you nod your head, eyes fixed on the bed in the railroad tracks where the train will be approaching shortly.

"Alright everyone get in the woods!" Arthur orders, pulling his mask up over his nose before placing one of his boots on the iron track. Charles notices your hesitancy, and grips your arm to pull you towards the treeline.

"Hey, you alright?" Charles asks, pulling your neckerchief up over your nose as you've forgotten. You nod, a little too quick for his liking.

"Just nervous." You admit.

"Just stick with Sean. You'll be okay." Charles offers, squeezing your shoulder lightly. You nod, focusing your attention back on Arthur.

You feel the vibration of the train long before you see it coming. Arthur's boot shakes against the track, and once he feels it coming he climbs up on top of the oil wagon. You gasp, eyes going wide as he holds his carbine in front of him, in a threatening stance on top of the wagon. He looks like nothing short of a criminal up there, a cold hearted killer. He stands on the wagon with a threatening stance, symbolizing everything that the government wishes to destroy. Feet planted on either side of the oil barrel, it doesn't appear that Arthur will be giving the law a break any time soon. The sight of him standing up on that wagon is one you're sure you'll never forget. If you didn't know Arthur, you'd be terrified.

Nothing can be heard but uneven, anxious breathing as the train comes around the corner. it's far off, too far for the conductor to see Arthur, but once the bright white headlight peeks around the bend your breath hitches in your throat.

Arthur cocks his repeater, and you watch as the train comes closer. You expect the train to blow its whistle, for the conductor to do something to warm off Arthur, but he doesn't. Your eyebrows draw together as the train continues to barrel forward, unbothered by the obstruction ahead.

"Why ain't it slowin'?" You ask, breath uneven as your heart rate picks up speed.

No one responds, watching as it continues forward. Even Arthur seems to lose his composure, stance faltering as the train continues on. It's getting closer to the wagon, and you're not sure if it'll have time to stop before it crashes.

"There's still time. Hold on." Sean says, eyes flickering up to the rapidly approaching train.

"John?! Why ain't it stoppin?!" You beg, looking frantically between Arthur and the train. Charles pulls out a pair of binoculars, looking through them to the engine car.

"Shit! He's dead or he's asleep, but either way the train isn't stopping." Charles says, stuffing his binoculars back as anxiety pangs in your chest. The train is too close now, it can't stop in time even if the conductor were to wake up.

"ARTHUR JUMP!" John screams as all four of you jog out of the woods. Arthur glances between the group of you and the train, unable to hear over the rumbling and screeching.

"JUMP!" You plead, screaming. Arthur glances at the train once more, and getting the message he jumps as far out as he can. He hits the ground hard, rolling down the slope before he stops. It's only seconds later that the train smashes into the oil wagon. You thank god it's empty, and there's no explosion, but the metallic screech hurts your ears as the train pushes the wagon over in a huge crash. Sparks fly as metal scrapes off metal, but the train carries on forward, pushing the oil wagon in front of it until itfalls off to the side.

"Why the hell didn't he stop?!" Arthur yells, whistling for Balius.

"The conductor is dead!" You yell, "Are we really still doin' this?"

Four horses come running up the hill towards you, and the boys mount up ahead of you.

"Yes! Now mount up, we can catch it before it gets to Rhodes!" John yells, and you leap onto Athena, urging her forward before you even put your feet in the stirrups. The chase is terrifying. It's hard to see in the dark, and you put full trust into Athena as she barrels forward after the train. Sean is the first to catch up, and he jumps from his horse onto the train's roof.

Your heart pounds in your ears as you run forward, watching as Charles, John and Arthur all jump onto the train.

"Star, cmon!" Arthur yells, and you try to breath as you stand in your saddle, barely able to balance. You jump as far as you can, hoping that you'll make it. The jump is terrifying, but worse is the pain as your body slams against the side of the train. Only your hands have made it to the top as you grip onto the roof, feet dangling down to the rapidly passing ground below. Then a hand grips yours, and pulls you up into the roof. You gasp, looking up to yours and Arthur's hands, muttering a small 'thanks' between trembling breaths.

"Plan stays the same. Charles, get this thing stopped!" Arthur orders, just as two armed guards climb up onto the roof.

"They're fixin' to rob the train!" One of the boys yells and starts shooting from his revolver. You unholster your own, balancing on the quick moving train as you fire twice into the man's chest. The second man breaches the top, and Sean takes him down with a headshot. The train makes you motion sick, and you have to bite down bile, forcing your eyes away from the ground.

"We're gettin' too damn close to the town!" John yells, firing into more men as they climb up onto the roof.

You whip around, looking for Charles to see if he's made progress in getting to the engine car. You don't see him on the roof, so you assume he's close.

"John! Get down there, me and Star will hold them off. Sean, get to the baggage car!" Arthur yells out. They follow his orders, jumping down to the train cars from behind you and Arthur.

"Why's there so many?" You yell over the noise as two more men fire toward you.

"I don't know, sure are a lot for an unguarded train- goddammit!" Arthur yells back.

You lose your balance as the train quickly starts to slow down. Sparks fly and metal screeches as the train begins to slow. You release a breath, reloading your revolver as more guards shoot at you from across the train cars. The train never stops, instead in one fluid movement it slows enough and then starts going backwards.

"Wait- wait, shit!" You yell as the train starts moving in reverse. Just as quickly as the train has stopped, it starts accelerating in the wrong direction, back towards Valentine.

"What the hell is happenin?" You scream back towards the engine car. You fire into one last guard, and then they stop coming up to the roof for now.

"We're goin' too fast!" You point out, losing your balance again as trees start to blur by, making you dizzy.

"Shit, I know. Just get to Sean, I'll see what's happenin' up front!" Arthur hollers, bracing himself as he jumps onto the next train car.

"Star?" Arthur yells, and you turn around, "Don't get hurt." You nod, and with that he turns, running on the rapidly reversing train towards the engine.

You try to calm down your breathing as you run across the tops of the train cars, jumping as far as you can between each one. Your heart pounds rapidly in your ears, and the train accelerating is nothing but a background noise in your head. Revolver in hand, eventually you make it to the baggage car.

"Sean you alive?" You yell, bracing yourself as you jump from the roof down onto the platform below. The land sends an ache through your knees, but you do land.

"Yeah makin out real good down here!" Sean hollers back as you enter the caboose.

"Why the hell are we in reverse?" Sean asks, stuffing a saddle bag full of cash and jewelry. You immediately get to helping him, ripping open the cupboards and stripping them of their content before shoving the precious items into Sean's bag.

"I got no idea. Arthur n Charles are dealin' with it." You respond, glancing out the window and gasping when you see that you're nearing Flatneck Station. You've crossed the state line back into New Hanover, and in less than five minutes you'll be crossing over Bard's Crossing, the infamously high railroad bridge.

"Oh my god, fuck." You curse, stuffing the bags even quicker. Shots ring out from the roof, and you gasp, neck snapping up.

"That's gotta be Arthur or Charles." You gasp. You look down the train cars to see John pistol whip a man for not giving up his money.

"Go help ‘em! I'm alright here for now!" Sean hollers, and you nod, running out of the car. Momentarily holstering your gun, you leap up onto the roof, pulling yourself up. Arthur is up there, shooting at a couple of men across the train as you run up to help him.

"You guys got the money?" He asks.

"Yeah! Why ain't we stopped?!" You yell, shooting at the men, and clipping one in the neck. He falls off the train, and you wince as his body cracks against the quickly passing ground. Just then, Charles comes running across the cars, jumping over the gaps towards you.

"Conductors dead! Doors locked and he fell on the reverse lever. I can't stop it." Charles explains, "We gotta go NOW, it's not stopping!" He yells, just as two more boys climb up onto the roof.

"Rot in hell you bastards!" One yells, and you go to reload your revolver, but it's empty. You curse, looking ahead to where the caboose is barreling towards the bridge.

A man climbs up from behind you, taking you by surprise as he knocks the gun from Arthur's hand. Arthur turns around and punches him right in the face, nose cracking as blood pours from his face.

"Get off the train! I got this bastard!" Arthur yells, and you hyperventilate, glancing between him and the bridge. Sean and John have already jumped, and you see them riding alongside the train with Athena, Taima and Balius. Charles jumps down, just as Arthur kicks the man off the side of the train. He hits the ground with a sickening crack, and Arthur turns to you, no longer asking.

"Star, go!" Arthur commands, and you gasp as another man comes up from the side of the train, pulling Arthur into a chokehold from behind.

"Get down here! We can't help him till you're out the way!" John screams up to you, and panicking, you leap. The jump is terrifying, and the land onto your saddle knocks the breath out of you. But then you're safe on Athena, barreling towards the cliffs edge where the bridge begins, waiting for Arthur to deal with the last guard.

"Does anyone have a shot on him?" Sean yells, gun aimed up at the man who is fighting Arthur. Arthur's body is bigger than the man, and at the angle you're at, it's impossible to kill him without killing Arthur. Arthur struggles, elbowing the man in the gut to break free from his chokehold.

"No!" John yells back.

"Arthur!" You scream, though futile, watching as the train gets closer to the bridge.

"I got this bastard." Arthur chokes out, coughing as he elbows the man enough to get away from his grip. You slide Athena into a stop to avoid running off a cliff as the train starts to go over the bridge. The wind howls in your ear from the elevation as you watch on in horror.

"What do we do!? John-" You whimper, feeling useless and helpless as Arthur punches the man, fists raised as they brawl atop the train.

"He'll be okay. He will. He'll get down on the other side and we'll run over and get him." John replies. All you can do is watch as the train accelerates across the bridge, and you've never been so afraid in your life. Arthur takes a punch in the gut, leaving him vulnerable.

"Does anyone have a shot!!?" Sean screams, gun raised. But Arthur is still in the way, and no one can help him, he's on his own.

Somehow the next moment happens in a lifetime, and a fraction of a second. Arthur takes a punch straight straight to the gut, and he doubles over, left vulnerable. The guard steadied himself, lifting his leg until the sole of his boot meets Arthur's stomach. The train is rolling right over the highest part of the bridge as the guard kicks out. Arthur stumbles, and the kick sends him falling over the side of the train.

All the air leaves your lungs, your eyes go wide, and everything stops as Arthur falls. You're frozen, watching as Arthur falls down past the bridge. It's a high drop, too high. Your eyes go wide as Arthur's arms stretch up, attempting to grasp onto something that isn't there as he plummets two hundred feet down to the lake below.

"No-" You breathe out, just barely a whisper as you stumble down from Athena, nearly falling from the saddle.

"Arthur!-" John gasps.

"NO!-" You scream, breaths coming in quick, uncontrollable pants as tears fill your eyes and fall out in thick rivulets. You stumble to the ledge of the bridge, on the tracks, gripping the fence so tight that your knuckles turn white.

The other three men are slack jawed, horrified. They all gasp, stunned beyond being capable to speak. When you look down, you see the rippling water where Arthur had landed, landed but not come back up.

"NO!!" You sob, unable to hold back your tears as you fall back, hands never leaving the fence. Your cries are shoulder shaking, and you can't bring yourself to care that you are sobbing in front of the other men.

"Get back to camp right now and don't get followed." John orders Charles and Sean, tears in his eyes that he quickly wipes away. They comply, silently nodding before turning their horses and galloping home, shell-shocked.

You're too stunned to notice what's going on around you, but your sobs have slowed, turned into aching, painful heaves as your nails dig into the fence, as if you holding on to it will pull Arthur back up to you.

"Star?" John whispers, so quiet from behind you. You shake your head, knowing what he's going to ask of you.

"Star, we gotta go. The law will be here soon." John tries to reason, fighting his own internal ache. You're not having it, not leaving, and John places his hands on your shoulders, begging you to come with him. You can't stop looking down at the rippling water, waiting for him to come back up, and tearing your eyes away when he doesn't, a vicious cycle.

"W-we can't leave him John. What if he- what if he's down there and he needs help?" You cry, lungs aching.

"I know. We won't. We won't leave him. But we can't help him if the law gets to us." He says, and you nod frantically, thinking over his idea.

He tries to pull you backwards, away from the bridge. You make it two steps back before the anxiety of not seeing the water wins over and your body practically shies away from John.

"I can't- I can't go, he…" You begin, biting your cheek until it bleeds, stuck in a state of shock that you can't shake.

"John, what if he didnt-" You sob, unable to finish the sentence that plagues your mind along with the image of his plummet.

"He did… Star I ain't goin back to camp missing two people, please come home." He pleads, turning as law whistles sound in the distance.

"No. I can't." You say, stern in your choice. Because what is there to go back to without him? And what if he needs help?

"Where will you go?" He asks, glancing to the whistles in the distance.

"I guess across the river so I-" your face crumbles at the idea, "so I can look for him."

John nods, whistling lowly for Old Boy. The horse trots forward, and John quickly unwraps his camp kit from Old Boy's saddle before tightening it onto Athena's.

"My camp kit. Take it, you'll need it." He turns to you then, red eyes looking into yours. "Be safe out here… and don't lose yourself. Arthurs my brother. But if he ain't back in a day or two, you gotta come home. He'd want that." John says, voice even raspier than usual as he deals with his emotion. You nod, tears filling your eyes as places his hand on your shoulder.

"If he comes back to camp I'll come for you right away." He offers, and you nod.

And then he's mounting up, offering you a bittersweet tip of his hat as he rides away. And you're suddenly alone. There's no one here to pick up your broken pieces, so you pick them up yourself, climbing into the saddle and cantering away from the approaching law whistles. You don't try to stop the tears. Some are silent, sliding down your face and dripping into your saddle, but some are loud, and you have to leave go of the reins to sob into your hands. You make it to the other side of the river thanks to Athena, with Balius trotting beside you the entire way. No one tells you what to do when something like this happens. You're lost, left to figure it out as you operate like a shell of a human being, going through the motions to avoid the law.

Once you're across the Dakota, situated just on the treeline close to the bank you slide down from your mare to sit in the grass, knees held up to your chin as you watch the water. You've never seen it so still. There's not a ripple other than the steady flow out to the lake. The law whistles get louder, and you listen for them as you numbly watch the water for hours, lost in your head. Eventually the law dissipates, giving up and going home.

You don't know if he's dead or not, but the chances of him being okay right now are bad. The bridge hangs over the horizon like a tyrant, a constant reminder of what's just happened. You try to avoid looking at it, try to avoid seeing the fall, the fear in his eyes as his feet left the train.

You can't help but drift to the fact that your last real conversation was an argument, and you ache to go back in time and spend the day at his picnic like he'd planned. He was right about you. You're a hypocrite. All Arthur has done since you met him was offer kindness when you didn't deserve it. He gave and gave and you took and took. He told you his feelings time and again through his words and his actions. And you rejected him again and again. All because you were afraid. He said it when you went fishing with Jack, he said it when you danced at Sean's party and when you were drunk under the stars. Arthur told you he would wait. He would wait until you were ready. And here you are. It appears your time is up, and Arthur has waited all he can.

You think back to that first night in Colter, what you'd told yourself that rang out to be true… good people die.

Nothing happens for a long while. You don't move, and your limbs ache from your curled up position, but you don't care. You've been watching the water for hours to no avail, but then it happens. Something small washes up on the shore, something black. And as soon as your eyes flicker towards it your face crumples, and falls into your knees with a sob.

"No, no, not him- please." You whimper to yourself quietly, realizing that he's really gone.

You wipe away your tears, finding the strength to stand up from the grass and pluck the object from the shoreline where it washed up. In your hand is an all too familiar black leather hat, wrapped with rope and adorned with a one of a kind hat ornament.

You place it on the ground by your legs, curling in on yourself as the grief overtakes you, causing your body to ache and your lungs to burn from the sobs that erupt from them.

taglist: @margofiore @mrsarthurmorgan7 @woman-with-no-name @tillith @luvliewriting @pine4pple-b0i @photo1030 @dudsparrow

series taglist: @catnotbread @chxosangxl @globetrotter28 @justalittlerayofpitchblack @fruittiest-of-loops @randomidk-123 @heyworld-whatsup @btsiguess-kpop @how-the-heck-would-i-know

#arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x reader #tfiye #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x y/n #arthur morgan x you #rdr2 fanfic #red dead redemption two #red dead redemption 2

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dipplinduo · 10 months ago

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So before the Indigo Disk DLC came out, I watched a vid on YouTube that had a theory about Kieran stealing Koraidon/Miraidon as a way to get revenge on you for taking Ogrepon.

And thinking about it made me come up with some scenarios, whether if Kieran was possessed by Pecharunt or not (tho I think it would work a lot better if he was).

One would be that if he wasn't, when he hears about Terapagos, he would sneak into Juliana's room and steal Koraidon/Miraidon's Pokeball, planning on using them in order to catch Terapagos, believing that if he could somehow convince Koraidon/Miraidon to listen to him in battle (literally by giving them a sandwich since he knows how to get through to them) and take him (and Briar) down in the depths of Area Zero, then he has finally won against Juliana. Meanwhile Koraidon/Miraidon would be confused at first as to why they were in Area Zero and not with their trainer, but after some convincing from Kieran that Juliana gave him there Pokeball, they took him and Briar down into the depths. but after awhile they started to grow highly suspicious of the two, eventually stopping themselves from going further. Kieran would obviously be irritated by this, trying to force them to move. But thanks to their stubborn personalities, they bought enough for Juliana and Carmine to catch up and the rest of the story would play out similarly to the DLC.

ON THE OTHER HAND IF KIERAN WAS POSSESSED BY PECHARUNT!!!

(this gets a little angsty, but in my opinion, it works so much better)

The same thing would play out about how Kieran gets the Pokeball and convinces Briar to come with him. But when Kieran brings out Koraidon/Miraidon, they start to grow defensive as they knew something wasn't right (they felt uneasy and protective of Juliana whenever she was around Kieran throughout her time in the academy) but Pecharunt was having none of that and infected them with Toxic Chains (they also mentioned this in the video, and I freaking love it), causing immense pain for the poor dragon kings. Briar would be very concerned about what Kieran was doing, but Kieran would just shut her down as they descended further into the depths. By the time Juliana and Carmine get there, it's already too late as Pecharunt already claimed Terapagos. Kieran then challenges Juliana to a battle, but not with Terapagos, Koraidon/Miraidon (now in their battle form) as he claims that he should have been their trainer to begin with. Knowing that she's taking a big risk, Juliana would toss the bag containing her pokemon aside and begins to walk closer to Koraidon/Miraidon and try to get through to them using her words (much to Carmine and Briar's disapproval). But this would make Kieran angry as it would remind him of her kindness towards Ogrepon, so he would force Koraidon/Miraidon (as well as Terapagos) to start attacking the unarmed trainer. But even though she was in so much pain, Juliana pushed through, she would do whatever it took to get her Pokemon back, she would even keep telling Kieran about how sorry she was for lying to him that day and wishes she could go back and redo her mistakes, all while keeping a smile on her face. With the last bit of strength, Juliana would place her forehead on Koraidon/Miraidon's head and tell them that they will always be her best friend no matter what, finally making them snap out of Pecharunt's trance and witness their trainer collapse limply on the floor. Kieran as well would also realize what he has done, becoming completely petrified at the sight of a limp Juliana, all while Koraidon/Miraidon (now completely filled with rage) broke the toxic chain around their neck and would help Carmine free Terapagos (Kieran would help later too, but after he got a quick scolding from his sister)

Juliana managed to survive the whole ordeal as she now lays within a hospital bed, with Koraidon/Miraidon and Kieran right beside her (Them and Terapagos also got examined for injuries, but it wasn't too serious, their ok) Kieran would then tell Koraidon/Miraidon that he was sorry for what he has done and hopes that maybe he could try to make amends with both them and Juliana, finally willing to let go of the past and move on. Koraidon/Miraidon would respond to that by giving him a lick to the face, letting him know that they forgive him.

The first thing Juliana notices when she wakes up is a sleeping Kieran, his head resting at the edge of her bed, with Koraidon/Miraidon sleeping beneath his chair, smiling as she knew that they were waiting for her.

When I finished playing the teal mask, I genuinely thought that Kieran was going to take Koraidon/Miraidon in the Indigo Disk, like I was terrified as to what was about to happen, and was also highly suspicious of Koraidon/Miraidon coming out when Kieran mentioned sandwich.

Anyway, really wanted to share this little idea cause I was dying to tell someone lol, hope you like it :)

I love it!! You put an insane amount of hard effort into the possibilities and I loved all the little interaction details!! You're very creative, and I'm confident a lot of people would love to see your fic!!

#my fics #dipplinshipping #kieran pokemon #kieran x juliana pokemon #juliana pokemon #juliana x kieran pokemon #kieran x juliana #juliana x kieran #kieran toxic chain #toxic chain pokemon

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weaver-radio · 29 days ago

Text

The recorded end of Katherine Harlow. Recorded October 13th, 2024.

-Ephie

[CLICK]

KATHERINE Well, dear Listeners, it seems that is the end of the show for tonight. I'll see you next Sunda-

[Ringing tone interrupts]

KATHERINE [Confused] What? It, uh, seems we have a last minute caller. [Kat presses a button] Hello caller, this is Katherine, and you're on air on Weaver Radio. How may I he-

EPHIE [Interrupting] Hello Katherine

KATHERINE [surprised]Ophelia… I wasn't expecting you

EPHIE I know you weren't. That was the point.

KATHERINE … I see. Well, what do I owe this surprise call?

EPHIE Delivering some news. I presume you know about the Library in Manchester

KATHERINE Oh yes, the Fallow Library. I'm quite excited to weave that story

EPHIE [Blunt] You won't

KATHERINE … Excuse me?

EPHIE You heard me

KATHERINE What do you mean 'I won't'? Last I checked, I was.

EPHIE That's where you're vastly incorrect, Kat. Have you not heard on the web recently?

KATHERINE … It's been quiet recently.

EPHIE Yes, I suppose it has been. For you at least. Been having trouble weaving recently? [A small laugh leaves Ephie, like she told a joke Katherine wasn't in on]

KATHERINE Do you have something to do with this?

EPHIE Me personally? No. Just simply following Mother dearest's wishes. Unlike some people [Obviously pointed toward Katherine]

KATHERINE What are you talking about? All I do is follow the Mother's plans

EPHIE In a way, but the Mother is disappointed, Kat. It seems that you've been… straying from the path.

KATHERINE Oh please, I have not-

EPHIE I know of your plans for a ritual, Katherine, and so does She.

KATHERINE … What? H- How could you possibly know She doesn't approve of my plans

EPHIE What can I say? Even The Mother has favourites. Annabelle is certainly one of them.

KATHERINE So, what? I don't get control over that Library and it's just left to do nothing?

EPHIE No, of course not. I'll be the one looking over it

KATHERINE You? Why you?

EPHIE Do I need to repeat myself? And you may not know this Kat, since you're one of the young ones-

KATHERINE [Interrupting] Do not call me young.

EPHIE [Continuing] With age comes practise and perfection. You've only had seven years, you were bound to mess up and disappoint.

KATHERINE … Well, that's… unfortunate, but I suppose I'll move onto a different story

EPHIE Afraid not.

KATHERINE Excuse me?

EPHIE I can't let you continue, Katherine. For all I know, you'd still attempt your ritual, and I know you will.

KATHERINE [Scoffing] Oh please, what are you going to do? Kill me?

EPHIE No, not me. Just two who really want to.

KATHERINE [Confused] What-

[A door opening interrupts Katherine. She turns to face the door]

KATHERINE Mariya? What are you-

MARIYA Do what you need to

[Mariya walks away]

KIERAN Found you.

SÈRA Can't hide anymore, Spider.

KATHERINE [Surprised and scared] H- How?

EPHIE I'll be heading off now. Goodbye, Katherine

KATHERINE Wait, wait!

[Ephie hangs up]

KATHERINE [Nervous] Now now, Mr. Woods, Miss Verley. Surely we can talk this out.

[Whatever Katherine was trying to do, didn't work]

KIERAN You're little manipulations aren't going to work anymore

KATHERINE I-I

SÈRA God I've been waiting to do this for months.

[The two move forward]

KATHERINE Wait- wait! No!

[CLICK]

[Beat]

[CLICK]

[Blood dripping and sizzling can be heard. No sound of like from Katherine can be heard. At all]

SÈRA That was satisfying

KIERAN Definitely left a mess

SÈRA We're burning the place down anyways, who cares about the mess?

[Mariya returns]

MARIYA Is it done? [She sees the body] Oh dear.

SÈRA What? You're the one who let us in to kill her

MARIYA I know I just- I've not seen a dead body before.

KIERAN Right. Well, Did you get all the things you wanted, so it's not destroyed in the fire?

MARIYA Actually just a few more things, that shelf over there

[The two turn]

SÈRA What is this? Some weird trophy shelf?

MARIYA In a way. It has all the stuff from people who've made deals with her that relied on her being alive.

KIERAN Oh. [Realising] Oh.

MARIYA Yeah. All these things were something dear to them. I wouldn't want them to lose it forever.

SÈRA I see. D'you want some help putting it in that box?

MARIYA Oh, yes please, I'd appreciate it

KIERAN Alright we'll get started on that. God there's a lot here.

MARIYA Mhm [She notices that the show is still on air] Oh shit.

[Mariya walks over to the desk] MARIYA For any listener still here. This is the final show.

Goodnight.

[CLICK]

#oc rp #tma oc #tma rp #weaver radio #oc rp blog #tma rp blog #katherine harlow #researcher kieran #the watching hunter #conspiracy of fear #oc: mariya ceren #photographer séra

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sweettoothvn · 1 year ago

Text

Sweet Tooth Character Questions (Part 2)

Welcome to part 2! We have a lot of these questions from the Sweet Tooth server, feel free to join us here!

Questions under the cut (doing this to not clog main blog!! ^^)

"How would they react to their partner getting jealous?"

Andre is worried why his partner seems so upset. He abandons whatever conversation he was in the middle of- (i would like to point out this man is so horribly dense he does not understand he's being flirted with. You have to spell it out for him.) anyways he sits his partner down and tries to have them talk to him about what the problem was. If you try to tell him to go back to having fun, he refuses and spends the rest of the day with you. You take care of him so he takes care of you, thats what you're supposed to do and he loves you no matter what.

Casey isnt as dense as he plays. He pretends that the person who is talking to him isnt flirting. Desperately, he's been trying to pull away from the conversation- and then you come around- sure you're jealous and probably upset either at him or the stranger- but he's never been so thankful for you to yank him away. He reassures you and tells you how thankful he is. Massive cuddles and candy binges will soon ensue.

Chrys is the type to typically flirt back with whoever is flirting with her. She doesnt mean it. She's planning on building up their ego then watching it all fall down when they realize (even after she told them she was taken by you and that she was VERY serious about it-) that no they cant have her and they never will. She will try her best to explain this to you, realizing that yeah from a distance it did look like she was intent on cheating on you. She'll try her best to make it up to you, cooking for you, cuddling you, complimenting you. Anything you need. She's right there.

David typically is bored of talking to people. The minute someone starts flirting with him when he's already in a well established relationship that he has made sure everyone knows about- well he shuts the other person out, rudely interrupting and asking if they're 'done yet'. If they try anything, David will use his words to beat them to the ground until they realize he sees them as nothing. You might try to pull him away jealously- only then will he realize what effect this has had on you. He rarely shows his soft side, he doesnt like being vulnerable around people. But you're always an exception and you've taught him that his feelings are valid. He will do anything he can to make you feel loved. Read to you, cuddle you, allow you to play with his bunnies. He might run his hands through your hair and sing a Russian lullaby his recent brother would sing to him.

Eddie tends to cringe when people flirt with him nowadays. He used to welcome it when he was floating around, trying to find someone who might understand him. And now that he has you, he could wish for nothing more. He makes it VERY clear he's not interested- he's even gone as far as smacking someone if they tried to touch him. When you approach him, he gets confused why you're jealous at first. He didnt do anything wrong did he? He made sure he wasnt interested, he was positive! Oh well, despite his lack of interest in affection, you'll find yourself swaddled next to him in a pillow fort, binge watching weird series as he may or may not talk over them-

Kieran is pretty well known for fucking around. Quite literally. It's apart of his reputation. And now that he's in a serious relationship he regrets it horribly. It was fun when it lasted, but the reputation he garnered from it... he doesnt enjoy the attention as much as he used to. You taught him how consent works and how to say no to people. He never noticed how handsy people tended to be with him. He tries to be polite, something rare for him, telling them he isnt interested. If it escalates it will increase to yelling and go so far as to harming the person if they go any further. He doesnt want a repeat. Never again. He sees you're upset and goes to comfort you, hoping maybe you can comfort him as well. You'll lay in his bed as he tells you how much he loves you. Simply just holding you and talking to you alleviates that intense anxiety from before. He's never felt so safe.

Noble waves the person off. The first few words of a pickup line and even the slightest lustful look- he's walking away. They're not worth his time. He made sure to stay by you no matter what. Metaphorically and physically. Call him clingy but he needs you. And you need him. The person might persist, to which he sighs and finally gives them his 'attention'. He'll pretend to be interested, getting closer and closer to them, whispering something that seems so sweet- only for him to tell them how stupid they are to believe such things. Similar to Chrys- building them up then tearing them down. He leans away, looking disgusted. He might flicks their nose and push on their chest before going to find you- only just now realizing you saw the whole thing. He tries to tell you what happened but you saw it all and the mind can jump to conclusions so easily. He begs and begs for your forgiveness, he wants to make it up to you, he has to. You trusted him and he failed. Prepared to get pampered for the entire day... or week.

Zach may look naïve, however he is anything but that. He refuses the drink they buy him. He pulls away from their touches, laughing awkwardly. God where are you...? His anxiety is a lump in her throat and he's never missed you so horribly. They keep talking- why are they still talking? Slowly he tries to walk away, being to scared to turn them down. What if they get mean if he says no? He doesn't want to cause a scene, he really doesn't. If he causes a scene what might you think of him? Oh there you are. He sighs, so relieved and rushes over to you. Before you can even utter a word to ask him why on earth he was 'talking' to such a creep, he tells you that you're going home and that he doesn't want to stay there a moment longer. In the car ride home he tells you about his discomfort- and you both start making fun of the creep from the bar. Its a personal conversation shared between the two of you. Sure its bad to talk about people behind their back but... eugh... that guy was so... shady. He gets all cheesy with the pickup lines when you're finally home, asking if he can 'buy you a drink' while being an absolute dork. He makes you laugh until you cant breathe and then he compliments you until your face is too hot.

"The Sweet Tooth cast just found out they're in love with someone. How do they react?"

Andre sort of sits there for a moment, it all makes sense now. How he felt so weird and giddy whenever you were around, how his day seemed to bright up no matter what whenever you were there. Even if you felt sad and needed comfort it always made him happy knowing you looked at him for comfort. He knows that he wants to be with you but he isn't sure if you like him the same. He does what he's always done his whole life- which is ask his mom for advice. Of course, raising her son on nothing but RomComs his whole life, she helps him plan a very very romantic way for him to ask you out.

Casey probably had it pointed out to him when Kieran was teasing him. Kieran spouted it out and the room got silent. Casey sitting there with an entirely flushed face wouldnt know what to say- until loudly going "OOOOOOOH" and then preceding to go on an hour ramble about why he likes you so much.

Chrys probably had some inkling but she figured it was just a.. friend crush.. that's... that's a thing right? When she realizes that how much she thinks about you is not normal for friends, she gets very quiet around you for a bit. She's slightly shy and very out of character, until she cant take it anymore, she blurts the question out as you're about to leave your shift.

David paces back and forth talking at a fast pace and thinking about the pro's and cons of his feelings for you and weighing out if dating you is reasonable or not. Eddie interrupts him, complaining that he should just ask you out because David is annoying like this.

Eddie probably had a dream about you- first he played it off- but then they wouldnt stop... He probably tries to avoid you, denying his feelings for you at first- but then he finds he cant stand being AWAY from you- so then he gets very clingy. He despises how clingy he feels so he goes into this cycle of detaching then attaching himself to you- until you bring it up, he might not stop.

Kieran is shocked that he has a crush- Last time he had a crush on someone it went horribly wrong. But you're not horrible like him... no you're much different. Right? You wouldnt hurt him like August has... right? You were so kind and you put up with all his bullshit and stayed regardless of that... who does that? He becomes more awkward- flinching at your touch and getting flustered more easily. He's acting like his high school self and he's never been more embarrassed.

Noble oh he knew that he liked you... he knew the moment he saw you. When you opened your mouth. The way you talked, the way you moved and carried yourself, even how you breathed... it drove him crazy. He probably figured that this fixation over you would be a temporary thing, as he tended to fixate on people during his break up periods with Rainn. However he felt this strong connection to you... like it was destiny... he didnt Rainn anymore...

Oh so that's why Zach's sketchbooks are always full of you...! He thought he just liked how you looked... how you were so fun to draw and every little detail was so fascinating to him. Every freckle, every mole, loose hair, the ways your face crinkled in certain areas when you smiled. You always had the best poses in his opinion. You were naturally his muse. But he stops drawing you for a while. His last relationship didn't end off so well- sure they were still friends but- he didn't want to mess this up with you. He couldn't.

"How does the sweet tooth go about first kisses with someone they love?"

Andre during the entire date is working himself up to it, trying to find the perfect opportunity to finally get that kiss in. He doesn't force himself on you, instead he'll make sure to ask you, wondering if you're okay with how he holds you and if you're comfortable. It's a very gentle kiss, if you're left wanting more he won't hesitate to give it to you, but he's always so anxious that he might accidentally hurt you.

Casey has been muttering a lot to himself like he's been giving himself a pep talk whenever he thinks you're not looking- When you're finally alone with him- he does this weird sharp inhale like he's about to confess a crime. He looks serious, a rare expression for him so it's obvious that you get concerned but- then he blurts it out, "Can I kiss you?" albeit he speaks to fast or maybe his voice cracks- regardless its adorable and after he asks he gets super flustered. His kiss is inexperienced but hey at least his ChapStick tastes nice. Very fruity flavors- or his favorite go to is the cocoa cola ChapStick.

Chrys has been so excited the entire date, making sure you're comfortable while dragging you around to look at all the wonderful things and get the best experience you can. You're both really tired by the end of it and she finds a nice quiet spot for the two of you. She gets close, leaning on you while holding your hand and says, "Y'know... this would be a good place for a first kiss..." Before looking at you with expectant eyes and a small smile. Her lips are soft and plush, her lipstick tints your own lips but you don't notice as she cups your cheek.

David for once doesnt have that pissed off look to him. Instead he has wide curious eyes and actually seems... happy. He seems relaxed and like he can actually breathe when he's with you. His tone is much more polite and gentle with you, not that strict and powerful one that was... overcompensating. He was always bothered by people touching him when he never viewed them as an equal, which is probably everyone at this point. However, he holds your hand and holds tight, allowing you to take him where you please until you're finally alone and able to talk to each other. Except he's quiet, just studying you face while nervously fidgeting with his sweater sleeve. In a near whisper he ask, "...Would it be alright if I kissed you...?" of course you ask him to speak up- to which he shakes his head and looks away, clearly upset you didn't hear him. (Even though it wasn't your fault-??) Regardless, it's up to you to kiss him first. He's tense at the start, but he melts into your touch and holds you as close as he can.

Eddie most likely took you to the best place he knows. The forest. He knows it like the back of his hand so why wouldn't he bring you there. Obvious choice, any another choice would be stupid. Unless you made it, then it's perfect. He seemed to be in his own little world the entire time, quietly muttering to you and forgetting that personal space was a thing- but you don't mind as he points out the local moss and fungus, telling you all the interesting things he knows about each and every species. You arrive at a river and for once he's quiet, the quietest he's been the entire time. Suddenly, he asks you to face him and close your eyes. Hesitantly, you do so, feeling something soft placed on your head before his lips press against yours. They're a bit chapped but he's not too bad of a kisser so it balances it out. What he placed on your head was a flower crown he'd somehow managed to make when you weren't looking- which you SWORE you had your eyes on him the whole time. Sneaky bastard.

It's only natural to expect Kieran to bring you to a loud event with bright colors and strobe lights, but he doesn't. Nope, he planned a simple date. Nothing big and loud for you two to party the night away, get drunk, and end up in an alleyway aggressively making out with each other. Okay maybe the date he had planned wasn't terribly simple because of the location. He came to your house, picked you up and took you across the city he grew up in. He shows you his favorite places and you eat at his childhood restaurant. The date ends where you're on the rooftop on some building you shouldn't even be on, eating your favorite dessert while watching the people below walk across the street and sidewalks, minding their own business. He takes his arm and lays it over your shoulders, bringing you into a side embrace before kissing your forehead. You look up at him, a bit confused (but flattered) by the gesture, to which he replies, "What? Want a better one?" His lips are soft and taste a bit smokey (hope you don't mind), and of course sweet considering what you two had been eating. He's definitely a good kisser considering how much experience he has. Be careful not to swoon so hard you fall off the building-

Noble's idea of a date was something you were curious about, he seemed a bit unpredictable. He was super romantic but also very chaotic at the same time. So of course you would either think, well maybe its a dinner on a terrace in France, but then there was the possibility of him taking you to a nightclub to dance to your hearts content. Of course it was easy to think that the latter was more so what he would do, considering his daily activities and the general area he tended to hang out in. But the reality was that it was a simple picnic that had an amazing view of Paris. The food was incredible, all home cooked and traditional recipes passed from his family. He allows you to do most of the talking, more interested in listening to you. He was never one to talk- unless of course it was to ramble about you. That was always easy. Other than that, sometimes talking was hard for him when the topic was him. As you speak, you don't notice him inching closer and closer- until he interrupts you with a kiss. It's gentle and long enough for you to memorize his lips against yours- at least it was long enough for him to do that- but not too long to where it was uncomfortable. When he pulls away he smiles and gives you the excuse, "Sorry, you had something on your lips."

Zach hasnt been on a date in a while, and usually he was never the one to plan them. So he was a bit nervous on where to bring you- but then he settled with an art installation. The art installation had some weird stuff going on, sure, but it was really fun regardless. When you're finished, he takes you to an observatory to relax. As you're laid back in the seats, he points out the different stars, whispering in your ear while leaned close. Your shoulders are touching and he's holding your hand. Finally he points to the Pisces constellation and explains the story to you, about how two lovers jumped into a river together after turning into fish so they could escape a monster. Then after a moment of silence, he asks, "Do you believe in soulmates? I know it's cheesy but that doesn't make it bad... sometimes cheesy is good..." He sighs and looks at you "Want to see if you're mine...?" His lips are inviting and despite his awkward behavior, he seems to know what he's doing. He takes the lead with it, trying to bring you as close as he can but not trying to seem desperate at the same time.

#sweet tooth vn #asks #sweet tooth eddie #sweet tooth kieran #sweet tooth casey #sweet tooth andre #sweet tooth david #sweet tooth zach #sweet tooth chrys #sweet tooth noble

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sudoscience · 10 months ago

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Finished The Indigo Disk last night, so time for some more PokéThoughts:

For costing more than half the price of the base game, I feel like the story could have been longer. I'm certainly not done playing the DLC yet (still haven't caught the Loyal Three, for example), but I finished the story in ~2 days. The base game probably took me about a week? To be fair, I did start the DLC with a full team of Lvl 100 Pokémon, so that probably saved me a lot of time.

Similarly, for being called "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero", you really don't spend that much time in Area Zero. Again, this is likely due to having a late game, high level build. Part of the reason it took longer in the base game is because you don't have Koraidon, so you can't just jump and fly to get where you need. Also, I just immediately used the warp point to get to Research Station 4 instead of walking through all of Area Zero again. I hope I didn't accidentally skip any fun interactions, but with how much Game Freak tries to railroad you into doing the plot how they want you to (see my previous post about the DLC), I feel like if there were any cutscenes there, then you just wouldn't be able to use the warp points for... reasons.

That being said, what time you do spend in Area Zero is just as awesome as the first time you go there in the base game. The new music is great, too.

Speaking of new music: Celestial (Remix by Toby Fox)?! Leave it to Toby to make an Ed Sheeran song actually good, I guess.

Performance wise, it's comparable to the base game, maybe slightly better? Only clipped into a mountain once. Haven't noticed any other glitches so far, but it does occasionally seem to run a bit sluggishly. (And it continues to suffer from a lack of voice acting.)

Koraidon can fly now!!! Wish there was an option to invert the y-axis, but it can fly!!! Also, you can BE your Pokémon now!!!

Spoilers?

I like how they tell you Blueberry Academy is in Unova, but it's not, like, attached to it at all. It's just an island. They could have said any region, and it would have had negligible impact, imo. (But I am saying this as someone who hasn't actually played Gen V, so maybe there were things I missed.)

Well, okay, I think it did have one effect. I haven't played B/W, but I know Unova is supposed to be based on America, so when one of the NPCs mentions "BBQs", I was like, "Oh, that's cool. They have barbecues here instead of picnics." Nope! Stands for Blueberry Quests.

Terapagos being tiny when Kieran first pulls him out was the funniest shit

It broke the fucking Master Ball?! It can do that?!

Still not sure I really understand how the Stellar Tera Type works. I know it's not every type at once. I'm not sure how that would work either. Wouldn't they just cancel each other out?

I don't feel like the game did the best job of communicating how much time had passed. Carmine (and later, Kieran) always being like, "You really kept me waiting". I literally did not??? But also, Kieran saying, "I looked up to [Player] for so long", meanwhile I'm pretty sure that, at most, one in-game week has passed since I first met him. I guess if I had played the first part when it first came out, it would've felt like a longer time. (It was probably supposed to be at least a few months in-game.)

Also makes it a little hard to buy into his motivation being his desire to beat me in battle. Wait, maybe that makes it more believable, actually. "You're still bitter about that?" "Yeah? It was just last week..."

But, again, I would be perfectly happy to let him have Ogerpon. He has a personal connection to it! If I keep it, it's probably just going to stay in one of my boxes. (It is pretty cute, though.)

Despite the lack of hugs, I found the ending acceptable. I do still wish you could have hugged Kieran, though. Or at the very least, when he says, "Can we be friends again?", you should have been able to say something like, "What do you mean 'again'? We're still friends!"

#i know it sounds like i'm complaining a lot but the dlc is actually really fun #would recommend #pkmn #al rambles about pokemon #the hidden treasure of area zero #pokemon #pokémon #pokemon scarlet and violet #sv spoilers

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misc-obeyme · 1 year ago

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can you share more about your mc :D

Oh! I mean... yeah, I can... I'm just surprised anyone asked lol!

I haven't really talked much about Ciaran on here, but I'm happy to give you more information about them!

I actually made a moodboard for them when I made this one for Arsenios, but I've been too shy to post it lol. It's been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Maybe I'll do it at some point.

Ciaran isn't me, but I did include a lot of things that I wish I had when I came up with them and their personality.

Anyway, here are the basics: Ciaran O'Mara is a thirty something non binary person who used to work at an art gallery. Ciaran is amab and actually uses he/they pronouns. I tend to use they/them for them most of the time, but sometimes I still use he/him.

The name Ciaran is Irish and is pronounced like the more common English spelling, which is Kieran. Technically it's supposed to have an accent in it - like Ciarán - but I'm too lazy to keep that up lol. And Ciaran doesn't usually bother to include the accent, either.

They're American, but their parents came to the US from Ireland before Ciaran was born. They have an older sister named Fiadh (which is pronounced like fee-uh) who they are very close to. They lived with Fiadh in a somewhat decent apartment until they were whisked away to the Devildom. At which point, Fiadh couldn't afford the apartment on her own and had to move back in with their mother.

Their father passed away a long time ago and their mother is a devout Irish Catholic. If she knew that Ciaran was currently living with a bunch of demons, she would likely have a heart attack. It'd be even worse if she knew that included Lucifer himself or if she heard about Satan lol.

Ciaran is short and feisty, with short blue hair and green eyes. They're a painter. They like to paint with oils on big canvasses but will also do watercolors, especially when they want to paint on the go. They like to do landscapes and sometimes they go abstract. They used to do portraits, but they haven't done them in a long time. (There is a reason for this, but if I get into it, this'll be too long lol.) They work at the art gallery putting together art shows and sometimes they sell their own works.

Ciaran is outgoing and likes people, but they're also kinda short tempered. They really don't get along with Solomon at first because they don't like to be teased. I don't currently have them officially dating anyone because I think if they were dealing with a bunch of people who wanted to date them, they would stay non committal about it. That being said, I do think they'd want to choose someone in the end, but who knows when that might be.

Some of the characters have also met Fiadh, who was not happy about her little sibling disappearing and leaving her with the full rent bill. It took some time, but eventually she figured out where Ciaran went and showed up in the Devildom to complain about having to move back in with their mom.

Anyway, I could write a lot more about Ciaran of course but this is already getting long! If you (or anyone) have any more specific questions, I'd be happy to answer them!

Thanks for asking about them, anon, I love talking about my MC (and my OC)!

#honestly I have so much about Ciaran and Fiadh and Arsenios that I could talk about #I just usually keep it to myself unless someone asks lol #well I've been posting more about Arsenios though so maybe he doesn't count anymore #anyway! thank you for asking <3 #obey me #obey me mc #obey me mc ciaran #misc mc ciaran #anon asks #misc answers

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hlizr50 · 1 year ago

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I'm very excited to introduce this fic to the world!

Thank you @zelinkcommunity for Zelink Week 2023, which is what started me down this path!

This FBAA-based Legend of Zelda fic started with me wondering about Twilight Princess Zelda, and how I could pull from her stoic and serious character. Combine wanting to explore that with the knowledge that Zelda has been assigned a personal knight in Breath of the Wild, and my mind immediately drifted to From Blood and Ash.

And, thus, From This Moment to the Last Moment was born.

This will be multiple chapters, and as soon as I know how many, I will update the count on AO3. Also, be aware, the ratings and warnings are likely to change as this gets written. Any of you who know me as a writer know that I will likely get dark and angsty, but we haven't made it there yet!

Read Chapter 1 on AO3

Or read below!

Zelda looked down over the courtyard, her face a mask of stoic calm as the gathered citizens begged for answers. Were they safe? Would they be protected? Would things get worse?

All she could do was listen with clenched fists as her father spouted weak platitudes and made false promises that if they remained faithful to the crown, they would be saved. The princess could see the distrust in their faces, could feel the righteous anger billowing into the air like steam.

The people hated them; hated her. And she didn’t blame them in the slightest.

Zelda hated her father, too, though nobody could know. Every dissenting word was met with the heavy hand of discipline and the burn of the lash. The king had every reason to assume she’d been beaten into submission, her endless silence pulling her conscience down into the depths. She’d watched farmers whipped for the failure of their crops, soldiers brought to tribunal and sentenced for simply surviving when their superiors had ordered them into an impossible battle. All the while she stared, memorizing every name. Every moment.

Would her people hate her any less if they knew about the list of names hidden away in the bottom of her desk drawer? If they knew she remembered every undue punishment and execution at the hands of her father? Remembered every citizen that died while she stood by and did nothing, under the king’s keen, watchful eye?

And now there was Ganondorf to consider, as well.

She didn’t trust this new ally from the desert, with his cruel eyes and wicked sneer. Her father told the citizens that he knew how to fight these monsters that had begun prowling the fields at night, but Zelda was suspicious. Did he know how to win because he was strong and powerful? Or did he know how to fight them because he was the one who commanded them? All she knew for certain was that the attacks had only become more common and more brutal since his arrival.

And then there was the matter of his obvious infatuation with her. Ganondorf would often corner her in the corridor, his sole purpose to make her as uncomfortable as he could. The first time it happened, she thought perhaps there was some cultural miscommunication. The second time, when she looked into his eyes and saw the darkness there, she’d gone to her father for aid.

And when she received a harsh reprimand and the threat of more extreme disciplinary measures if she displeased their visitor, Zelda understood that there would be no escaping the unwanted attention.

To make matters worse, she no longer had the comfort of her personal guard. Kieran had done his best, within his limited power, to run interference between her and Ganondorf. She appreciated that all the more now, since he’d been carted away – accused of being a rebel sympathizer. And all she could think when she found out was that she wished she’d known. She could have talked to him. Could have shared her opinions and possibly even have done something.

Now he was gone, another name to add to the growing list of senseless tragedy. And whoever her father appointed next would likely stand aside and allow the desert adviser to do whatever he pleased.

And so, the golden-haired princess stared down into the courtyard and took in the sight. She let herself feel the weight of the contempt that the people had for herself and for her father, allowed it to settle deep within her. One day she would harness it. She would make her father pay for the things that he’d done, and she’d prove to the nation that the crown could be fair and just and generous.

Until then, she wore her mask.

And she stared, with clenched fists.

And she waited.

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pbandjesse · 1 year ago

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I am comfortable in my hammock. I'm having a pretty nice day. Even if other people are bringing me down a bit. I am trying to let things ago. Let myself be happy. But it is very hard. This is why I like being alone up here.

I slept alright last night. It was hard getting up but I honestly felt fine when I got up. I hugged on James. They had brought my stuff to the car already because they are great. Love my husband. Very quickly though I was on the road.

I stopped for breakfast. Gave a person begging what I could. The woman at the window commented that they were just going to use it for something they shouldn't. And I said that my character is judged by what I did to help, where my heart was, not what she did with it after. That's on her character. And the woman at the window agreed with me and said I had a good heart.

I got to camp at 8. Someone driving out, the entrance, gave me a dirty look. And there was a baby bunny I had to stop for. But it was normal beyond that.

It was chilly. I got out of the car and found that the art building was musty but it was fine. I was not happy about the tent was not out back

I had to move my tables. And there was trash. But the thing that made me angry was my table cups, that have materials like colored pencils and scissors, were left on the picnic table so they were filled with water form the rain and a bunch of supplies were ruined. I was furious. I sent a very cursey text to CJ just because if I didn't say it to someone I was going to say it in the group chat and get fired.

Ty would come go to tell me that there was trash and mess at homestead and the very old chicken, grandma, was injured!!! We were worried that it was children in the enclosure or something. So we decided to go to the office to talk to Alexi.

Alexi was understanding. She is hopeful that it wouldn't be the kids who hurt grandma and was maybe a fox. But she is discouraged that the areas aren't being treated appropriately.

As we were talking and going through complaints and ideas to make it better Kieran came in and told us that the chef claims that there was a bear in the trash!! So now we're like was it a bear??? Wild.

We headed back to arts and crafts. And it would be a fine day. Tati was great and super helpful. She would be in charge of the hot glue and would get so good at it by the end of the day. Like we were figuring out how to layer yarn to look like hair and she really has it down by the end.

I would read a little. Work on my knitting. And we would talk about the weekend and our projects and the plan for the day. And the group would be late but they would come soon enough.

And the project is going pretty well so far!! I'm glad I didn't put all the markers out because they would break some. But overall they were great with the materials and I loved what they made. Not everyone did a person but I said animals were fine as long as they had faces. And it was just really fun to see what they came up with.

Both my morning groups did well. And then it was lunch time. Which ended up being a bust. They had hot dogs. I wish they did vegetarian hot dogs but instead we got some kind of stir fry. Which I was not feeling so I had a hot dog bun and went to make Mac and cheese. I was nice sitting with friends though. But at noon I went to make the Mac and cheese at the office.d

Tyler would join me to use the microwave. And he would give me a cinnamon twist from his dominos leftovers which was excellent. We ate on the porch and we were able to get some paperwork done that camp needed for the reaccreditation that's happening this week.

Speaking of that though. I got very frustrated later in the day because Cody would come up to our building and he gave me a paper that he said we should have been filling out and he was surprised that I had never seen this before. Basically it's an entire list of materials that the programs use. I don't know if you guys can picture what the art building looks like. But it would take me days to document all of the stuff and quantities of things that are in here. And he wants it done by tomorrow. That is impossible task and not fair that they are asking of me two days before the accreditation is happening. This shouldn't have been given to me now it should have been given to me during training. When there was actually a chance of me having time to do that. So I'm very overwhelmed by that but I'm trying not to let it bother me and I'm going to try to have Tatiana just list everything she can see in the room and will make estimations of what things are. Because man am I stressed out about that.

After lunch though I had my two-day camps and my older kids. And it went really well. I brought the metal stamping kit with me and a couple people made coins today and that was really fun. A couple of the counselors got really into it. And everyone really likes painting on the wood and so because I do not have enough spoons I texted Joe and asked if he would mind cutting wood for me just to have more pieces. And he said he would and that was really great of him.

During my half hour break after my day camp but before my older kids Dad called and we talked for half an hour and I wish we could have talked longer. It was really good to hear him and he sounded really strong and healthy. I know he started physical therapy again today and I really hope it helps him regain some confidence and balance. But it was nice to talk and I got to tell him all about Jess's house and some stuff at camp that's been drama. But it was just really nice talking to him even if it was just a short period of time.

And like I said the older girls really enjoyed making bracelets and beads and one of the girls made a stamped coin and then their counselor was really into it and made a couple. Including one that said on Wednesdays we wear pink. And I thought that was so funny. So at the end of the day I would sit down and I would stamp out the whole quote about being crazy in a rubber room with rats. Because the younger boys say it all the time and I thought it would be funny to show that to them. It did take me a while to make though.

My last group was with Trista and I love Trista. I was very sad that I missed their class last week when I had to go to the doctor. And we had a nice conversation while the kids worked and talked to Tatiana made sure that the kids pieces didn't look bald unless that's what they wanted. We had this bit going with this one child who made there character green with very sparse orange hair and we kept going. Oh my God. How did you do that. It's like a mirror. You you did that so well. And just being so dramatic about it. And she would go I know like no one believes just I made this That's how good it is. It was very silly.

But at 4:15 I said goodbye to everyone and I grabbed my pool bag and I headed out. I was going to go swimming because it was really hot out. And it was the hottest time of the day.

There were so many kids in the shower though so I couldn't get changed in the bathroom so thankfully no one was using the laundry room and I wouldn't change them there after chatting with the lifeguards for a few minutes. I checked in with CJ as well who had to be a counselor today because Candela is not here from Spain yet. Something happened with her flight but she should be here tonight. And then I got in the water. And it was beautiful.

I was just kind of sit in the cold for a while and eventually would get most of my hair wet. Celia did not remember her bathing suit again. I'm actually just texted her to tell her to put her suit in her backpack so that this does not happen again. So she would just sit with her legs in the water but eventually Antonio and Annabelle joined me. And it was fun watching the kids do pool canoes and I just floated for a while and it was a good temperature and I felt very happy being in the water.

At 5:00 I decided to get out. The kids were going swimming again after their canoes and I went and took a shower. Max was in the bathroom trying to clean but because of girls bathing suits they just bring so much water and that it's impossible to clean it because it's all wet. So he had to wait a while anyway and I went to go take my shower and felt so much better afterwards.

I came back up to arts and crafts and I felt okay. Kind of uncomfortable but fine. I would hang out for a while in the outside hammock and was reading. I did my rubber rat crazy stamp thing. And then once it was closer to 6 I took my book and went down to the lodge.

I got lots of pillows from wonderful children on my way there. And when I got there I sat in the back corner and I read for a while. The colts book is okay. I've decided I'm going to skip the ones that I'm not super interested in right now but I think I would like to go back to a narrative book tomorrow. We'll see. I have a couple still that I would like to read on my shelf this week. Got nothing's really calling to me yet. I was not really looking forward to dinner when I heard that they combined the vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, and allergy concern dinner into one thing. Again. I don't understand why the chefs don't understand that they should just be making whatever everybody else is having as close to that as possible. Because for some ungodly reason today we had turkey patties for dinner, which apparently work gross. But the vegetarians had ratatouille. And it wasn't even good. It just tasted like stewed tomatoes with undercooked zucchini in it. I hated it and I was very upset. The one saving Grace was I asked Charlotte if I could have two rolls and at first she was like well if another child doesn't get a role coming out of your pay. But she gave me two rolls. And then I ended up getting a third roll. I wish it had butter but at least it was carbs. And they know I'm supposed to be even less carbs but they're the only thing that makes me feel not shaky. I'm trying. I'm not trying that hard but I am trying.

I was kind of sad though. Dinner just made me feel depressed. Tyler was also feeling depressed. I don't know why I'm switching between Ty and Tyler in this post But they are the same person. Just in case you weren't sure. But he was not happy either and we left and went up to the art building together. Where he made his own coin and memory with Grandma. Who is not dead but has gone home to her owner to heal. He also told me that he did find a bird net to go over the enclosure so hopefully nothing else can get in. And I hope that the office buys it ASAP.

I decided to fall back on the things I used to do when I was sad and grad school and I made a tote bag. I'm really proud of it actually because the fabric on the outside is the same as the inside and I made sure that all of the pattern is going the correct direction so all the pictures are facing the right way and it has velvet handles and a flat bottom. I'm really proud of it. It's a little oversized and floppy And I really like that. And I sent it to Jess and she made a big fuss that how beautiful it was and now I want to make more tote bags to possibly put it in my market table. So that's a consideration right now. I'm not that concerned about it though but maybe I'll knock out some cutting and that's always the part I hate the most anyway and I have big tables here so we'll see.

Tyler would head out And I would finish sewing my bag. And then I would take a walk to the nurse. I had choked on a roll as we were leaving the dining hall and I had upset myself from coughing so hard. But some water on my face helped and then I came back up here after chatting with PJ outside of the building for a bit. The air quality was very bad today and I guess we've all just given up on caring about that because I never even got an air quality alert on my phone. Even though it was at the same numbers it was the other week when we were all forced to be inside. So that's cool. I'm not annoyed by that at all.

And when I came back up here I hung out in my hammock for a while. The mosquitoes were eating my legs for the first time this summer and I hit a mosquito and blood got everywhere. I have no idea if it was my blood or somebody else's blood I was not happy about it. So I came inside and put on more bug spray and started winding down.

I closed the door at 9:00 and brushed my teeth. And I've been laying here for a while now. I hope tomorrow was a good day. I hope that my stress is of today lesson. Because honestly I had so much fun with my groups I just hate how much other people's energy brings me down. And so many people are coming to me. And it's not that I don't enjoy that I want to be a rock for people I want to be here to listen. Tatiana even said today that I was famous because every time I'm not here a million people apparently come to the door looking for me. But I just wish that it wasn't always negative. I don't mind some negative. I want to hear when things are wrong. But I also need to be positive about camp. I like this job. I like being here. I just don't like all the other crap outside of it. Fingers crossed that I can just be happy. Despite everything else.

I also really hope I sleep well tonight. I'm pretty comfortable right now and it's not supposed to be rainy or anything tomorrow so I'm hoping there's no big spikes and humidity. And I just hope it's a nice day. I hope you all have a nice day. I hope you are safe out there in the world. I also found out that my very first friend in Baltimore, Ben's husband passed away suddenly today. So I just want to remind everyone that you never know when things not going to be over. And to tell the people you love how much you love them. Until next time.

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the-lore-and-art-cave-go-brrrrr · 3 months ago

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So as I sit here actually finally feeling relaxed enough to work on the Pokemon protag designs for the stories I have, I’ve decided to share the head canons I will 100% be putting into place (some of which are my own, others of which are simply ones I’ve seen and decided I liked) as well as some origins for characters so it’s not just the same thing for each one.

Part one! I’ve seen this so often, but I’ve always kinda liked the concept of the protags for each game being like… chosen by a legendary/mythical? So I’m going with that. Like in Rai’s case, he’s Lunala’s chosen, Saffron would be like a weird case because the whole fusing with Pokemon thing was a wish granted by Jirachi so maybe he’s the outlier in this, but also like he’s the one who caught Miraidon and that’s the box legend… and also she catches Ogrepon which is a legendary so maybe it’s Ogrepon (if you couldn’t tell, Saffron is weird as shit and I’m still trying to figure it out), Rosa is also kinda weird, but I’ve jokingly said to my sibling that maybe she’s the chosen of Terapagos (although I am going to have Kieran catch it here because you know what, he deserved too so I don’t know) so maybe that- but also jokingly I have said Pecharunt could have done something (because I’m all here for Rosa being just a little fucked up). Honestly the Paldea protags are weird as hell and I don’t even know what I’m doing with them-

But basically I have a list for everyone but the Kanto protags (because I haven’t decided officially for those two) and the Paldea protags (who I can’t decide on), and I’m going to write down this list now.

Himari (Kanto): Undecided

Akane (Kanto): Undecided

Sakura (Sinnoh): Palkia or possibly Girantina (I can’t spellllll)

Rento (Sinnoh/Hisui): Dialga or Arceus (probably the latter because of the whole reason he ends up in Hisui)

Kaede (Hoenn): I’ve actually been debating having her be the chosen of both box legendaries for the games just so I can mess with the plot

Shion (Hoenn): possibly Rayquaza? If not probably Kyogre, while Kaede would be Groudon’s (this will be officially decided on when I sketch them)

Buttercup (Unova, first games): Reshiram (you best believe I will pit the twins against each other just to be a jerk)

Clover (Unova, first games): Zekrom (same reasoning as Buttercup)

Clemantis (Unova, second games): Kyurem (trios are fun, and who would I be if I didn’t make the three protags for Unova fit into the trio)

Reine (Kalos): Yveltal (So this one is specifically because Y was the first of these games I owned, and I played as the female protagonist the first time I played, so we ball)

Saule (Kalos): Xerneas (once again, this is specifically because X was the second game I got of these two, and that was when I actually started to play as Male protags, so that’s why)

Alani (Alola): Solgaleo (this directly will influence her unique ability)

Rai (Alola): Lunala (although I almost made it Necrozma for maximum trauma. I may be making him the chosen for both because yes)

Meadow (Galar): Zacian (she catches it)

Fern (Galar): Eternatus (again, she catches it)

Cyanus (Galar): I damn well might make it Calyrex and have him be the protag who does most of the dlc stuff.

Saffron (Paldea): Either Jirachi, Miraidon, or Ogrepon. This is still undecided

Rosa: Terapagos or Pecharunt, but still undecided.

Also these specifically influence both the unique ability I will be giving these guys (which may help me decide on Saffron and Rosa), as well as a specific accessory I give them (for example, I’m currently sketching Alani, and I gave her a hair accessory that looks like the symbol Solagaleo gets on its… forehead? When it uses its Z-move).

This is very long, so I will just make another post later with more of the headcanons after I’ve sketched more of these guys.

#lore dump

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mdni · 7 months ago

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ok hello again kieran nation I'm back. but unfortunately not without bad news. basically I was gone for 2 days because of something that happened on sunday and I wasn't able to get my computer back until today. I lost the best friend I've ever had because of it and I'm in a lot of pain, things at home are getting worse, things are so bad right now but I'm just trying to keep hanging on because I have 2 months of school left until I graduate and if I can make it till then, I can work towards trying to get out of this place and at that point I'll be happier but my parents are seriously trying to completely destroy my life and they've done a lot of damage already and things are just so painful for me and I'm in a really low place rn so please be patient with me and try not to freak out when I'm not online as much as I should be. its really hard to keep going right now, I wish I could end it all right now but I've been told that things get better, I just have to wait, so I'm waiting. but it's so hard. I feel like I've lost everything I've worked towards having, the little I have to live for is being torn away from me because my parents hate me for being trans and they just want to see me broken down to the point where I give in to pretending to be cis just to survive so they're doing everything in their power to break me down by tearing away my emotional support and ruining all of my personal relationships and leaking my deadname and everything else so like I said it's hard and I have to get out but I'm not in the place rn so all I can do rn is just keep living. but I'm in full-on survival mode. there's no room for play and fun anymore, when i go home I can only think about how to survive to the next day. this is really really bad.

any words of comfort or advice would be good right now. I'd like to hear someone tell me that I'm not alone and that things will be good when I manage to get out but I really don't think that's going to be enough, because like I said, this isn't just a bout of sadness or depression, this is literal SURVIVAL, like if they keep breaking me down I'm going to kill myself. like I literally cant continue to hang on, as close as I am. they're finally catching up to me and it's so bad that I feel the only option I have now is to just end my life. but I don't want to because I have alaiah to live for. shes the only person who has stuck by me through every little thing, shes always been there to respond and give me a reason to keep going, but having only one person to live for is not good enough. I need more. I need a miracle. a literal miracle. I need someone to come up out of the blue and tell me they have an extra room or something like that. but whatever you can do, please, even a little bit will point me back in the right direction

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dipplinduo · 11 months ago

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I was thinking about the whole toxic chain theory with Kieran and I was just imagining the potential with it when it comes to this ship.

Like Juliana could still try to help Kieran while Dokutaro/Pecharunt is controlling/influencing him or something.

It made more sense in my head but what are your thoughts on this?

*** RESPONSE CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS TO THE INDIGO DISK GAMEPLAY ***

Love this, personally I could write Kieran either way and was lowkey pro-toxic chain theory Kieran with the DLCs because I thought it was an interesting plot point that could better add to his characterization if done right (i.e. rather than being fully responsible for his 180, make it more so that the toxic chain capitalized off of his internalized emotions and potential lifetime trauma, and thus amplified some of the extremities we saw/could've seen).

At the end of the day, he is still a young teenager, though, so I understand the argument against Kieran toxic chain theory and just recognizing his behaviors as being developmentally appropriate. I also don't mind non-possessed Kieran either. I just wish his character motifs were better explored and his resolution was better written (e.g. more post-credit scenes with him making amends with other characters, which includes certain characters also apologizing to him). Because let's be honest, Kieran is very much a polarizing character to the general Pokemon community, and I do wish that people could sympathize with his overall story more. Like, I've legit seen people rant up and down about his negative character arc in the teal mask, but in reality it's very obvious that the player was more of the straw that broke the camel's back given his home life and upbringing. The player just takes the brunt of it because they are something tangible that he can externalize and project his frustrations on, so we become an obstacle and goal. The closest we got to that being integrated in the storyline was as Kieran was yanking at terapagos's stone. It's there, but could've been better imo.

However, at the same time, I also think it's important to note that Kieran's actions are things he needs to be held accountable for as well. Especially in the indigo disk as he's in full blown villain arc. Like, he straight up bullied a number of people and lashes out on practically everyone he interacts with. Changes the dynamic of an entire school just because he's pissed off and bitter. Despite his pain, those kinds of actions are not okay and shouldn't be left unchecked. Even Kieran himself shows the capacity to acknowledge when he's not necessarily doing the right thing, yet will choose to do so anyway.

I have more opinions on this LOL, but the point to that tangent is that the motif for a toxic chain possession is there. In my own multi chapter toxic chain fic that I was trying to have chapter 1 of out today for, AND WILL DEF COME OUT SATURDAY OR SUNDAY LATEST a dynamic that is similar to what you mentioned will be happening between Kieran and Juliana. Because OOOOH THE POTENTIAL FOR BOTH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND DYNAMIC DEVELOPMENT. Get ready for some angst. 🥲

#dipplinshipping #dipplinshipping headcanons #kieran pokemon #kieran x juliana pokemon #juliana pokemon #juliana x kieran pokemon #kieran x juliana #juliana x kieran #pokemon dlc #pokemon indigo disk #pokemon spoilers #pokemon teal mask #kieran toxic chain

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starryevermore · 2 years ago

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do not chastise the dove (15) ✧ steven grant, marc spector, jake lockley

do not chastise the dove ✧ a royal moon knight au | ao3 | pinterest board

pairing: knight!steven grant x fem!princess!reader x knight!marc spector x knight!jake lockley

series summary: you were a princess who would rather be anything but a royal; he was the knight her father forced her to marry—a true match made in hell if there ever was one. but, as the wedding inches closer and closer, it seems that, perhaps, your father had finally done something right by you.

chapter summary: you make your side known.

word count: 4,571

warnings?: inaccurate depiction of legal proceedings, kinda very angsty, mention of waterboarding, mention of death and dove wishing she was dead, pet name (dove), not proofread

You felt like you were going to be sick. You probably were about to be sick. If you existed in a cartoon, your skin would have turned a nasty green color and your cheeks would have been puffed up comically large to show the audience just how sick you were.

“You’re gonna be fine, dove,” Steven said, rubbing your back, trying to soothe you. It wasn’t working very much, but you appreciated the effort.

“Think of it this way,” Layla said. She sat on the coffee table in front of you. She leaned forward a bit, her hand coming to rest on your knee, and she gave it a gentle squeeze. “the sooner it’s done with, the sooner he’ll be locked away.”

“I thought I had a few more days,” you said. Your voice was barely above a whisper. You were scared that if you spoke any louder, the force of using your voice might make you actually vomit. (And, okay, sure, that might have been an irrational thought, but you were allowed to be a little irrational—especially right now.) “They were delaying things. They were investigating. I thought it might not be until next week that I had to testify.”

While the last two of the hearing had been cancelled so that Parliament could deal with the media frenzy of Kieran’s reveal, as well as verify the authenticity of Benjamin’s confession, your appearance before the committee was to proceed as planned. There would be no more witnesses to testify. There would be no one else but you. And that scared you shitless.

The realistic part of you knew that, at this point, your testimony was more of a formality than a necessity to put Benjamin away for good. Even if you fumbled and stumbled and fell, there would be enough to get Benjamin out of your life and off the throne. But the irrational part of you…It reared its ugly head, sneering at you, telling you that you were going to fuck up your own peace, your own happiness, because you couldn’t coherently string together the words to describe everything Benjamin put you through.

Cleo hopped into your lap, peering up at you, and let out a soft, “Mew?”

“Oh, I’m gonna be fine, baby,” you said, reaching out and scratching behind her ears. You sniffed. “I’m just scared.”

“Mew!” Cleo bumped her head against you.

“Yeah, I want you to come, too,” you said. You looked over at Layla. “Do you think Parliament would say anything if I brought her? I…I feel like I’m going to need all of the support I can get.”

“I’ll tell them you’re bringing her and that they can kiss my ass if they have anything to say about it,” Layla said. “We’ll probably have to leave earlier than usual, though. Just to make sure she isn’t scared by all the paparazzi.”

You nodded. You bent down and nuzzled your face against Cleo’s. She let out a quiet purr. “Such a sweet angel,” you whispered to her. “You deserve a tre—”

“Mew!” Cleo leapt out of your lap and into Steven’s, nuzzling up against him.

“I take it back. You’re no angel,” you laughed.

“Hey, don’t say that about my baby!” Steven said, gently pushing your shoulder. “Maybe you should give her more treats and she’ll love you more!”

You stuck your tongue at him then laughed. Talking with Steven and Layla, being with Cleo…It made you feel lighter. It lifted some of the burden off of your shoulders. You wished you could feel like this all the time. You wished you could feel like this during the hearing. Instead, you knew when you sat before Parliament tomorrow, you knew you were going to struggle, and you knew you were going to struggle alone.

Layla patted your knee again before rising to her feet. “I’m gonna call Sam now. You gonna be okay?”

You leaned into Steven’s side, rested your head on his shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“You let me know if you need anything, okay?” Layla said.

You nodded. “You’re the best, Layla.”

“I try, I try,” she laughed before fishing her phone from her pocket and leaving the room.

Steven and you were both quiet for a moment, then two. You didn’t like the quiet. It gave you too much room for your thoughts to run wild.

“Can we talk about something? I can’t stand the silence,” you said.

Steven nodded, his curls bouncing slightly. “D’you wanna talk about the hearing or d’you wanna talk about something else?”

“Let’s talk about the future,” you said.

It was nice, the other day, talking about the future with Steven. It helped calm your still-present concerns that they might leave you. If they were making plans with you, then that meant they intended to stay. It meant they wanted to be with you. And being able to frame it like that, it made the nasty thoughts in your head go quiet.

“I think you’ll make a great queen,” Steven said.

You let out a quiet laugh. “I won’t have many powers as queen. How could I be so great?”

“But you have some powers, don’t you? And you’ll have proper access to your family’s money. There’s a lot you can do with that,” Steven said.

“I suppose you’re right,” you said. “I would like to do something important, something that means something, you know? But I worry I won’t be able to execute it properly.”

Steven frowned, his brows furrowing together. “Of course you would, dove. You care too much to let things falls through.”

You shrugged, not entirely convinced. “I guess I just worry too much. I…I spent my whole life being spoken down to. It’s hard to believe in myself, you know?”

Steven’s eyes narrowed a bit, crinkling at the corners, looking more like Jake’s. A small smile curled across his face, his pearly white teeth flashing at you. “You wanna go somewhere that might help with that problem, dove?”

“Do I get to know where?” you asked, raising a brow.

“Nah, ya just gotta trust me,” Jake said.

“Then lead the way.”

“Summer Twilights?” you read, looking at the words above the gate leading into…where it was that Jake took you. “That sounds like some cheesy romance novel.”

Jake looked at you. He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “You say that like you got something against cheesy romance novels, dove.”

“I wouldn’t know if I did. I’ve never read any,” you said. You looked out the window, looking at the trees you passed by. “I was only allowed to read academic books or classics. The closest I got to romance was Jane Austen, but I know that’s a lot different than a modern romance novel.”

“I don’t know if it’s that different,” Jake said.

“Well, a modern romance novel isn’t going to require me to break out some Sparks Notes to try and make sense of it,” you laughed.

Jake gasped. “You used Spark Notes? And here I thought you were just brilliant all on your own!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was too busy memorizing every law in the kingdom to decipher Jane Austen!”

Jake laughed. “It boggles my mind that you had to do that. It can in handy, sure, but who even started that tradition?”

“The first queen,” you said. You rested your head against the glass of the window. “It was centuries ago, and it was the first time a woman sat on the throne. She didn’t garner the same respect as the kings before her, so she had to fight tooth and nail for people to take her seriously. Memorizing all of the laws was part of it. If she knew them all, then surely she must know a thing or two about running a kingdom. Today, though, it’s more of a bragging point than anything else.”

“Your family is weird.”

“You’re not weird.”

You looked over at Jake, seeing the way his face burned red. A smile stretched across his face, revealing his pretty little dimpled cheeks. He let out another laugh, shaking his head as he said, “You’re too good for this world, dove.”

“Not too good,” you corrected, “just honest.”

“Well, you’re in a good place to be honest, dove,” Jake said. He pulled up to a small house surrounded by various buildings. You couldn’t really tell what the property was supposed to be. “Summer Twilights is a self-healing treat. Most people stay here for longer periods of time, but I started coming up on the weekends when I started fronting more regularly. It helped me work through some problems. I haven’t been up here for a while because, well…You know. But I thought it might help you if you could talk about what you went through in a safe environment before you have to talk about it at the hearing.”

“Jake—” Tears started welling up in your eyes. “—that’s so thoughtful of you.”

He took your hand in his, lifting it to his mouth, and pressed a kiss to the top of your hand. He reached out with his other hand, ran his thumb under your eye, wiping the tears away. “You deserve it, my dove.”

Jake put the car into park. He dropped your hand, getting out of the car, and walked around to the other side, opening your door for you. He extended his hand, helping you out, then shut the door. Jake locked the car, hitting the button on the key once, twice. You jumped slightly when the car beeped at the second hit of the button.

“I’m so sorry, dove—” Jake started to say.

“No, no, it’s not your fault,” you said. You squeezed his hand. You didn’t want him to believe that he had done something wrong—because he hadn’t. He couldn’t help that you were on the jumpy side now. He shouldn’t feel bad for every time you got a little spooked. “Please, don’t ever feel like you’re at fault when I jump like that. Okay? I know you don’t mean anything by it.”

Jake didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked straight ahead, at a man wearing all white approaching the two of you. He was older, late 40’s, early 50’s, perhaps. But he looked older than that, with his slightly disheveled appearance and slumped shoulders. Despite that, he wore a bright smile as he approached you and Jake.

“Jake, welcome back!” he said to your fiancé. Then he looked at you, his eyes wide and curious, and said, “And you must be Y/N. I’m Emil, it’s lovely to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you said.

“Well, come on, come, everyone’s waiting!” Emil said, waving his arm for you to follow him to one of the buildings.

You looked at Jake. “Everyone?”

“You’ll see.”

Emil led the two of you into a building that you could only describe as what you imagine a mess hall at a summer camp might look like (minus, of course, the shouting children and various tables scattered about). The walls were covered in wood panelling. The floors were the same shade of wood, so if you relaxed your eyes enough, it was impossible to tell where the walls ended and the floor began. Most curiously, thee was a circle of folding chairs in the center of the room. All but three of the seats were filled.

“I thought you said this was a retreat? This looks more like a support group.”

“Eh, retreat, support group, what’s the real difference?”

A gasp came from one of the people seated in the circle. She was the only other woman present besides you. She was on the shorter size, but when she leapt from her seat, she had the sort of presence that could dominate a room. Her curls bounced as she walked up to you, a wide smile across her face. She looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite place her face.

“Hello!” she greeted, extending her hand. “I’m Jen—Jennifer Walters. And I just wanted to say that I really admire the way that you haven’t let anything that’s happened to you keep you down. I had brief stint in the media a few months ago—completely slandered! they’re a whole bunch of vultures!—and it took everything in me to not give up.”

You blinked slowly as you shook her hand. Oh, had she been the lawyer who’d gotten into a courtroom brawl with some woman who’d gone crazy at a traffic court proceeding then started fighting everyone in the courthouse? Oh, yes, that had been her. You remembered what the media said about her—called her a psycho, chastised her for saving the jury from a woman hellbent on harming them. “It’s not easy,” you said. You looked at Jake beside you. “But I have a good support system.”

“Well, I hope we can add to that. Come on, everyone take a seat.” Emil said, ushering you all towards the chairs. You took a seat between Jake and Jen. Emil sat on the other side of Jen.“Let’s begin, shall we? Y/N, I know it’s your first time with us, but would you like to start? Jake had mentioned to me that you wanted to have some practice before the hearing.”

You blinked. “Oh, sure. Do I just…say my name and then talk about whatever I want?”

“That’s right. Just do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You nodded. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. Fuck. You thought you might have some time before you had to start talking. “Um, I’m Y/N—”

“—hi Y/N!” the circle echoed.

“—and…Well, if there was one way to describe my family, it would be that you’d think we were living in a soap opera with all the insanity that’s happened in recent weeks.” Your heart thumped, hard. You could hear the blood pumping in your ears. Turning your gaze to your lap, where you held your hands clasped together, you continued, “I never really considered my family to be loving. Except for my mother, of course. She was the only one who ever liked me, for me. My father and brother, on the other hand…It was clear they saw me as a thorn in their side. It didn’t bother me so much, until my mother died.”

You reached over, grabbing Jake’s hand. He squeezed your hand, tight. “I think she shielded me from their…disapproval. When she was gone, there was no one to stop them from being needlessly cruel. I-I started to think that if I was better, if I did more, if I tried harder, they might not look at me as if I was the scum on their shoes. Now I know that, at least for Benjamin, I never would have been good enough. Kieran…He and I are on better terms, I suppose. He at least apologized for what he’s done. But every time I look at him, I see Benjamin. And every time I see Benjamin…I wish that his attempts to kill me had been successful.”

Jen, from the other side of you, reached over and held your free hand. “The world would be worse without you,” she said. “Everything he said to you, everything he did…He’ll be punished for it. He had no right to treat you that way.”

“That man is not your father,” one of the men in the circle said. He raised his hand, giving a slight wave. “I’m Dirk, Your Majesty.”

“I’m not the Queen, Dirk,” you said. “And you don’t have to use any formalities.”

“Nah, you’re already Queen!” another man said. “William Taurens, Your Majesty. You’re already Queen, even if it’s not been made official yet.”

You furrowed your brows together, looking at each of the people seated in the circle. “Do you all feel that way?”

They all nodded. Dirk said, “You’ve been Queen to us, and a ton of other people, ever since it came out that Benjamin was behind your kidnapping and poisoning. We don’t respect a man who tries to kill his kid.”

“Everyone’s been calling you the Queen Dove,” William said. “You know, because you’re gonna be Queen and your fiancés call you dove.”

“I think she got that,” a third man said. “Alejandro, Your Majesty. It’s been all over the news, even more so after Kieran presented that tape at the hearing. Haven’t you noticed?”

You glanced at Jake, then at Alejandro. “I stopped watching the news when all I saw was so-called journalists trashing my fiancés and saying they were behind the rift in the family. I was too scared, too upset, about what I could possible see to watch anymore.”

“You should take another look,” Jen said. “I think you might be surprised by how many people stand behind you.”

Perhaps you would be. If they were anything like the people sitting next to you, you supposed things might not be so bad after all.

You looked at Jake again, smiling slightly. “Thank you for bringing me here,” you said.

“Anything for you, my dove.”

“Fuck, you two are so cute!”

“Jen, you’re ruining the moment!”

You fought the urge to pick at your dress. You’d been sitting, waiting for the hearing to start, for well over an hour. You’d arrived even earlier than that. There was some benefit to it—you were able to avoid most of the paparazzi that crowded outside the hotel and the Parliament building. There were still a few, to be sure. There were enough that cared more about getting the first shot of you than they cared about meeting their own basic needs. So you still had to wade through a sizable crowd. But it was far less than what might have been gathered if you left later in the morning. Once in the safety of the Parliament building, you, Jake, and Cleo took some time to walk around until your anxieties got the best of you and you needed to sit down.

Now, it was hard for you to keep your thoughts from spiraling.

“Take deep breaths,” Jake said. He took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. You squeezed his hand, tight. “Just focus on your breathing. Okay, dove?”

You sucked in a deep breath, your eyes fluttering shut as you exhaled. In your lap, Cleo stirred and she placed her two front paws on your chest, leaning up and bumping her nose against yours.

“Mew?”

“I'm feeling better, baby,” you said to her, scratching behind her ears. She nuzzled her head against you, purring softly. “I’m glad you’re here. You’re helping me so much, baby.”

“Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?” Jake pouted.

You reached out, cupped his chin in one hand and pulled him down. You kissed him gently, smiling against his lips. “Definitely not chopped liver.”

“Hey, isn’t this supposed to be a legal proceeding? Don’t make out with your fiancé here!”

You pulled away from Jake, turning your head to see the support group from Summer Twilights walk into the room. You let out a laugh. You hadn’t expected them to be here. The room had been packed full every day of the hearing so far. You were fairly certain people had paid for their seats. How did they even get in?

“You’d do the same if you were in my shoes, Jen,” you said, shaking your head at her. You looked at Jake. “Did you…?”

“Layla called in another favor,” Jake said. “We plan on milking the Parliament’s fuck up for as long as possible.”

You let out a laugh. You looked back at the group. “I’m glad you’re hearing. Come, sit in the front.”

They all filed up to the front of the room, filling out the entire front row (save for two empty seats for Jake and Layla).

“You’re gonna do great, Your Majesty,” Dirk said.

“Yeah, they’re gonna have a coronation right here and now when you get done!” William said.

“Time to wheel out the Crown Jewels!” Alejandro shouted.

You laughed a little harder. “Thank you all for being here. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course we’d be here for you, Y/N,” Jen said. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

You looked at each of them, an odd feeling settling in your chest. You never really had many friends before. Just Layla for a long time, and then your fiancés. Tears started to prick at your eyes. “I couldn’t ask for better friends.”

And you truly couldn’t. They, and Jake and Cleo, distracted you from your anxieties as you waited for the hearing to begin. It was easy to forget what you were about to do when you could talk to them. And when Matt, Foggy, and Layla joined? It almost felt like you weren’t about to do something that scared you half to death.

But then the crowd started to gather. The energy shifted. You couldn’t ignore the way that people tried to peer over at you, ready to make a story about each and every one of your reactions. Your smile dropped. Instead, you now wore a more solemn, near-neutral expression. You twisted back around to face the front. You tried to steady your breathing. You didn’t want to begin the hearing with a panic attack.

Soon enough, the members of Parliament conducting the hearing filed into the room and took their seats. Behind you, Jake whispered a “good luck” and Layla whispered a “you’re going to do amazing”. At the front of the room, Sam banged his gavel and called for order.

“Good morning,” Sam said to you after a hush fell over the crowd. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the process by now. Please state your name and occupation for the record.”

“My name is Y/N,” you said. You paused, considering your words. Princess didn’t do it justice. The Future Queen was too ambitious. You settled on— “And I’m the rightful heir to the throne.”

One of the members of Parliament, John Walker, raised a brow. He hadn’t spoken much during the hearing. He had asked a few questions of Benjamin. From what you gathered, he was on Benjamin’s side of things. It came as no surprise, then, when he said, “That’s a rather bold statement to make. Do you really think it’s appropriate under the circumstances.”

Cleo hissed at him. You scratched behind her ears, trying to calm her down, as you said, “It’s the truth. At this point, it’s undeniable that Benjamin had an affair and posed Kieran as the heir when Kieran has never been legitimate. Perhaps it is cruel to say it now, when he’s seated just feet away, but it’s far less cruel than anything I have endured.”

“You’ve endured more than most,” Wanda said, not bothering to hide her glare at Walker. Her eyes softened as she looked back to you. “We’ve gotten a decent picture at what life was like behind the palace walls. But the picture is not yet complete. Could you please explain to us what your relationship was like with your family?”

Cleo nuzzled her head against your chest, peering up at you with wide eyes. You sucked in a deep breath. “Complicated is, perhaps, the best word to describe it. In recent weeks, I…have struggled to call Benjamin and Kieran family. They are undoubtedly my blood, but I’ve learned that that’s not enough. My mother, however…She was my real family.”

“Indeed, it’s been well reported how close you were with us,” Wanda said.

“She was my mother and best friend,” you said. “She shielded me from Benjamin for as long as she could. I’m forever grateful for that. Had it not been for her…I don’t know if I would have ever gotten this far. I certainly wouldn’t be the same person. She showed me the good, the light, in the world. She made sure I knew kindness. She was the most amazing person I’ve ever known.” Your lower lip wobbled. Shit. You didn’t want to cry this early on. And, yet, the tears sprung to your eyes, and your voice wavered, as you continued, “When Benjamin had me kidnapped, all I wanted was to experience her kindness just one more time before I died.”

“Just to clarify, and I understand this is difficult to talk about, Your Maj—Your Highness—you thought you were going to die?” Monica asked.

“Benjamin failed once. I know him well enough that he’d do anything to make sure he didn’t fail again,” you said. “What I went through…it was beyond cruel. It was sadistic. I’ve tried to forget a lot of it. But it stays…I don’t think it’ll ever go away. II can’t take a shower, I can’t wash my hair, I can’t wash my face, without going back to that room. I remember being strapped to the chair, a cloth wrapped around my head. I remember Harrow dumping water on me. I remember feeling like I was drowning. I remember wishing I was drowning. If I was drowning, at least it would have ended.”

A sort of unease settled in the room. No one said anything for a beat, then two.

“Your Highness—” Walker started.

“In some ways, I suppose Benjamin won. A part of me did die then. Every time I’ve come here, every time I’ve left the safety of my room, I think it’s the end. I question who I can trust. Someone I thought had been assigned to me a bodyguard was the one who took me. How do I know that the reporters outside are safe? How do I know if the person who cooks my food is safe? How do I know anyone is safe? I used to be able to trust more easily. Now, I’m less sure. I don’t know if I’ll ever be sure again.”

“Your Highness, please only speak when you’ve been asked a question,” Walker said.

“She had been asked a question,” Monica said, narrowing her eyes at Walker. “I asked her to clarify. She did.”

Sam banged his gavel once, silencing the two. He looked to you. “As Prime Minister, I would like to formally apologize for the role that we played.”

“Respectfully, I think it’s a little late for apologies,” you said.

Sam nodded. “I understand. While we’re on the topic of apologies, could you elaborate on your relationship with your brother, Kieran?”

You shrugged. “I feel as he explained it well enough when testified. He wanted to be like Benjamin. He acted like Benjamin. It was only earlier this week that I knew he had a change of heart.”

“Did you forgive him?” Walker asked.

“I asked if he was going to be a coward like Benjamin. Kieran said he never wanted to be like that man again. That was the end of it,” you said. “After his testimony, I’m not sure. He did something right, he did something good. But he still hurt me for so many years, for no good reason. I think it’s going to take a lot for me to feel comfortable to let him my life.”

“If I may change the subject, Your Highness,” Natasha said, “but I think it’s important to ask, given the nature of this hearing is to remove your father from the throne. Do you want to be Queen?”

You answered without giving it much thought. “I never thought much about it until recent weeks. I always assumed I would be married off to some foreign dignitary, sent far away from here. I didn’t think I had the right to rule. But after everything I’ve been through, there is nothing I would rather do. If Benjamin was killing to kill me, I can only imagine the horrible things he has done as King that has gone unnoticed. I don’t want anyone to suffer the way I have. I want to do right by the people.”

You took a pause, looking at Cleo who was curled up on your lap, then back to your entire row of a support group behind you. You looked at the people around the room, all of them watching you with bated breath. You looked at Benjamin, who struggled to maintain his poker face. You turned back around.

“There would be no greater honor than if I could serve my people as Queen. There is nothing else I would rather do.”

#do not chastise the dove: a royal moon knight au #steven grant imagine #steven grant x reader #steven grant x fem!reader #steven grant x female reader #marc spector imagine #marc spector x reader #marc spector x fem!reader #marc spector x female reader #jake lockley imagine #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x fem!reader #jake lockley x female reader #starrywrites #starryevermore

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