#i get that final seasons and especially finales must be pretty hard to write

[johnny-and-dora]

it’s truly wild how much sway a finale has in making or breaking a show’s legacy and the way it’s talked about FOREVER. i’ve never seen a single episode of how i met your mother i exclusively know it as the show with the really bad ending that pissed everyone off…same with got…maybe sometimes the unexpected twist ending…is worse

[buckrecs]

2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 2

masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - complete

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

1. Chicken by @delusionalwriterr

Bucky x Reader

You and Bucky Barnes shared a strange relationship with each other and the team was getting tired of it. When a mission goes wrong, will you be forced to admit your feelings for each other or will they remain buried?

2. sweet reverie by @demxters

College!Bucky x Reader

bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend but after what you thought was sweeter than a dream has you facing a harsher reality.

3. The Time of the Prey by @subwaysurf45 ✨

Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader

The younger sister of the most talked about princess in the kingdoms really can’t do much except smile and nod. When Natasha, your sister, finally goes to moves all of you to Shieldshire to marry her beloved Prince Steve you are left with your art, all alone. But one Knight took it upon himself to keep you company, and that company was all you needed to get through wedding season. Will that company last or will it be ripped away from the both of you? A war is starting and it seems targets are being made. 

4. super rich kids by @traitorjoelite

College!Bucky x Reader

kids with too much money, parties every night, and an incident with your best friend’s brother is just the norm on the upper east side.

5. Bring You Home by @sunflowersoldat ✨

Bucky x Reader

Y/N travels back in time to get Steve’s help for one last mission, but not everything goes as planned.

6. The Colour of Rain by @delaber

Bucky x Reader

On the run from his violent past, Bucky has sought refuge in a small town in Mexico where he enjoys the peace and quiet of not understanding a word of Spanish. A peace that is violently disturbed when he runs into the most annoying woman he has ever met.

7. All The King’s Men by @nastybuckybarnes ✨

Alpha!King!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Your father always said that if it weren’t for your presentation, he’d think you were an Alpha. There’s a reason for that. Growing up in a world where Omegas are treated like garbage, you’ve fought for the respect that you have. Until you’re sold off to an old King desperate for a bride. But you will not lay down and present for your new husband. No, you will fight back.

8. Peaches by @noctumbra

DBF!Bucky x Reader

what they were doing was wrong, both of them knew that. it had to be kept as a secret. not everyone would understand what they have, she knew that much. they’d look at them and see an older man misleading a girl so much younger than him. it wasn’t the thing, though. that had never been the thing. it wasn’t misleading, taking advantage ─whatever they called their situation. it was love. forbidden, not-society-friendly, but love. 

9. Sweet Dreams by @abovethesmokestacks ✨

Bucky x Baker!Reader

Sometimes you start talking with someone, and you realize you share an interest and a wish for a certain supersoldier to be cut som slack. Enter cupcakes.

10. Fuck Up The Friendship by @summerofsnowflakes

Bucky x Reader College AU

Fed up with having your feelings played with you decide to have some fun with a with your friend Steve.

11. A Sweet Old Fashioned Notion by @sidepartskinnyjeans

Bucky x Reader

As the dust settles on the second 'snap' Bucky has been getting to know Brooklyn again. His neighbourhood has changed a lot, but it's changed for you too since you got blipped back. Bucky is still pretty old fashiond at heart, there were things he expected from life, to get married, to have a family. Simple things that seem far away now especially when online dating is so hard. Maybe something more traditional would be good for both of you.

12. Soldier, My Soldier by @cryptidcasanova

Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader

“I am the writing on the wall, the whisper in the air. Without these things I am nothing. So now, I must shed blood.” He lulled at the base of your throat. “Sweetheart, come with me.”

13. Homesick at space camp by @atlaese

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

dying on a cold spaceship lightyears away from home wasn't what you expected

14. Spirits in the House by @redgillan

Detective!Bucky x Reader

Reader is in a coma after a car accident. Bucky moves into your apartment and find your spirit still hanging around.

15. Sugary Sweet by @all1e23

Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader

Is it all just sugar or something more? 

16. Missing Piece by @likeahorribledream

Bucky x Reader

When Bucky first arrived to the compound, Steve was his only friend and the only person he trusted himself around. That is until Steve introduces him to you, his best friend. Bucky was fascinated by how often you and Steve would hug each other. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him in such a loving way and it didn’t take long before Bucky found himself craving your touch, but whenever you’d get too close he would flinch as if someone had hit him. His trauma still too fresh a wound for him to be comfortable with someone touching him. Then one day, he finally fights his instincts and let you touch him. He hadn’t realized how truly touch starved he was until he feels the warmth of your skin against his. Something clicks for the both of you in that moment, you had found your missing piece. As long as you were with each other, you were home. You both tried to fool yourselves into thinking you were just friends, really close friends. Friends that needed to be together almost every minute of every day and who needed to hold each other to be able to sleep at night.

17. Metal Arm and Short Skirts by @buckyarchives

Bucky x Doctor!Reader

waltzing in as the new head of the Avenger's medical division, impressing everyone, and... scaring Bucky with your incredibly short skirts. Bucky's having a hard time looking at his arm as anything other than a deadly weapon, and you're more than happy to help him.

18. Scars by @chickenfics ✨

Bucky x Reader Western AU

Running from a past that haunts you and a future that is unsure, the last thing you wanted was to take up with a stranger. Strangers, you'd learned, are almost always more trouble than they're worth. But when dangers from the life you're trying to leave behind get too close for comfort, drastic times call for drastic measures, and the stranger you'd once feared becomes the only person you can trust -- and perhaps the only person you'd call your friend. Now you both just have to make it out alive... 

19. The Color of Blood by @theidiotwhowritesthings

Bucky x Agent!Reader Soulmate AU

In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.

20. Everybody’s Watching Him (But He’s Looking At Her) by @writing-for-marvel

Actor!Bucky x Assistant!Reader

The entire world’s eyes are on movie star Bucky Barnes, what he’s wearing, who he’s dating, even the mystery behind why he needs a prosthetic arm - but Bucky doesn’t care about all that, he’s only got one thing on his mind, you.

21. 27 Dresses by @beccaanne814

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

You are the epitome of “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” You think you know what love is, but sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you.

22. Heal by @chucksfavouriteprophet

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

For months you managed to distance yourself from Bucky Barnes, the alpha you long for. But one night you have no choice but to comfort him, something which brings out emotions in both of you. Except it also brings out emotions in the Winter Solider, which results in a devastating turn of events that neither of you might be able to come back from.

23. Dangerous Woman by @samthemarvelfan

Bucky x Reader

You know he blames you, but you never thought he’d hate you.

24. Witness Protection by @mymoonagedaydream

Bucky x Reader

You'd only been living in New York for a few weeks when Natasha introduced you to James Barnes, the man who’d change your life forever.

25. Everything’s Better in Westview by @espinosaurusrexex ✨

Bucky x Reader

Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.

26. Trying by @moonlight-prose

Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes was a new person. He survived a war with Thanos, finally getting rid of his triggers, and losing his best friend. He didn’t think there was anything else to survive. That is until he meets you in a bookstore and you become something he is scared of losing. An old villain has shown himself and suddenly you are the target of a new ploy to bring the Winter Soldier back.

27. unconventional methods by @marvelouslizzie

Bucky x Adult Content Creator!Reader

Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now. After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs. Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?

28. ephemeral by @aescapisms

Professor!Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes fell in love with you, but the universe isn’t all that forgiving.

29. Bulletproof by @amandaoftherosemire ✨

Bucky x Reader College AU

You, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes have been the best of friends since middle school. On top of that, you’ve been in love with Bucky pretty much the whole time. Everything changed after the three of you got to college, however. Over the past couple of years you and Steve have become even closer but things between you and Bucky have been strained since the night he broke your heart. Can anything bring you back together?

30. The Heart is a Deep Ocean by @dreamlessinparis

Bucky x Reader Titanic AU

Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.

[skijumpingf1]

The End (D.Prevc X D.Tande)

This was my way of coping with Daniels retirement. So this oneshot is about the whole situation around the retirement (Domiel´s version). I was on a field trip from uni these past weeks so had to write this on my phone, and it is probably not as good because I hate to write on my phone. But I had like an urge to do this. So enjoy! This is set in my interconnected oneshot series (last part is here) and it is from Domens perspective just to let you know.

Wordcount: 3984

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I am a bit nervous as I stand in the arrival hall at the airport in Ljubljana. Daniel was just training over in Norway and seeing his family. Judging by his mood over the phone at least one of those didn’t go so well. He seemed a bit stressed, but he wouldn’t tell me why. Maybe he hasn’t figured it out yet. I hope it has nothing to do with the fact that he officially moved to Slovenia a few months ago. He seemed happy with it but maybe he got homesick.

After planica it was pretty clear that Daniel would move and not me. Still, I gave it a bit of thought and he spoke to his family. His mom was hesitant, but she loves us together (and me too) and she knew that we were ready for the next step. Our national teams were pretty open about it too. So, we went apartment hunting in the area of the airport. The commute from our home to the airport shouldn’t be high when he would fly that much. To be honest, the first few weeks were a bit like heaven and hell at the same time. Heaven in the way that we could finally spent as much time together as we want. Hell because we went public at the same time and we may have underestimated the attention we would get. Especially here.

We were recognized almost every time we went outside. That lead to us not going anywhere which wasn’t good for Daniels acclimatization here in Slovenia. Eventually the attention got less and less, and we could move on.

Now that Daniel lives with me, it is my regular duty to collect him at the airport. I still love seeing him again. But today I am not just thrilled that my boyfriend is back.

His flight has landed about fifteen minutes ago and customs and stuff is always quick here so he should be out any minute. The door between the secluded area and the world outside opens and a few people in suits step out. I peak behind them. Daniel is coming out next. Automatically I form a smile at him. I spot him first and I get a moment of just looking at him when he doesn’t feel seen. He looks worried. Or stressed. Maybe unsure even. I swallow hard. So, it wasn’t my imagination that something was up. Then he notices me and his face lights up. His steps are getting faster and then he is back with me. I open my arms and pull him into a tight hug. “I missed you so much.”, I greet him.

“I have been gone for just six days.” “Yes, and? I still missed you.” The apartment was painful quiet without him. I even went to my parent’s house for a night. Officially to hang out with my sisters but I was there because I couldn’t stand the emptiness.

“I missed you too.” He presses a small kiss to my lips and takes my hand. I grab his suitcase but not without him complaining that he could do it himself. On the drive back home, he updates me on his family who are planning on visiting in a few months. This makes me think that something on the ski jumping side is up. Which is kinda scary. His from isn’t the best right now but he never acted this down. Something must have happened. Did he fall again and not told me? Or the team? After last season the whole dynamic changed. It wouldn’t surprise me if there would be still tensions inside team Norway after that.

“What’s up?”, I ask when I put a glass of wine in front of his face. We reheated the Lasagne that I made this morning for us (Yes, I actually can do a proper lasagne.) Now he is already sitting down waiting for me to do the same. “Nothing is up. Should be something up?” I take a sip from my glass and sit down. “I don’t know. Tell me.” He frowns a bit. His beautiful face is making a grimace. “I hope it is nothing major, so I didn’t want to tell you. You know the rule. I don’t know if I am really serious yet.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Oh god. He is thinking about retirement. That’s out rule. No talk about retiring if you are not serious.

I know him. The way he acts, the way he talked. He really thinks about it. “But you are serious considering it, aren’t you?” “I mean, it crossed my mind a few times. Especially this past week.” He doesn’t look at me. Daniel studies the tablecloth. I reach over the table and take his hand. “It is okay, Daniel. If you are considering it, talk it through with me.”  He finally looks up and I can spot a few tears in his eyes. I squeeze his hand tighter. “I know how hard Peros retirement was for you. I don’t want to burden you with another potential hard hit.” “You know the worst part was that he didn’t spoke to me, right? So, talk to me. Why are you considering it?” I can’t believe we are actually having this conversation now. In a few years for sure but it is so soon. Obviously, I would respect his decision either way, but I would miss him greatly in world cup.

“After Planica I hoped that every time, I would jump the fear would be getting less overwhelming and at the beginning it was like that. I don’t know what changed but now it feels like the opposite. Every time I am at the gate the fear is getting stronger and stronger again. Maybe it has to do with my bad form and that I am not trusting myself a hundred percent. Maybe it is me getting older.” Gosh sometimes I hate him. Why doesn’t he tell me stuff like this? It must be overwhelming to fear the thing he loves. Conflicting and hurtful. I know how much he loves it. I have seen it first hand. It is a passion we share. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to start losing it.

Daniel takes a sip from his wine. The Lasagne is long forgotten. “Do you think it could change again when you get into shape?” He raises his shoulders and sighs. “That’s what I am trying to find out.” I run my hand through my hair. That is a lot to be honest. “Ok.  If you want to talk it through, let me know. And I mean it. If you can’t sleep because of it wake me up.” He raises an eyebrow and puts a hand on my cheek. “I will try but I know that topic is hard for you too.” “Obviously I want you to continue with ski jumping. It means that we can spent so much more time together. Especially since it would be the first season since we are out. But if you just torture yourself with it, let it be. I can understand it. Ultimately ski jumping should bring you more joy than fear.”

Ziga stares worriedly at me when lift my weights. There is really no reason for it. I am doing everything like I do usually. Same weight, same posture. “What?”, I ask my teammate as soon as I set the weights down. “You just look emotional. That is rare.” “Very rare.”, adds Lovro who just finished his rotation on the weights too. I sigh and let myself sit down at the bench. “A lot on my mind recently.”, is my vague answer to the unasked question. “Care to elaborate?” I actually would but it is not my thing to share. So, I couldn’t. Also, it wasn’t like Daniel made up his mind in the last two days. Even though I think I know in which direction he will decide. Subconsciously he knows he can’t continue. But he needs to figure it out himself.

“Nope. I don’t want to elaborate.” “Ah, it is Daniel. Do you want to propose? I mean I think you guys are endgame, but you just moved in together. Maybe wait at least half a year.”, Timi chimes in. My eyes widen. Proposing and marriage can wait a few more years. Until we are comfortable living together. “No, I am not proposing. It just complicated stuff. Stuff that I can’t really talk about now.”  My teammates look not sacrificed but that is not my problem. “Don’t you think Daniel would be okay with you talking about it with your friends? I mean he knows how teams work. He probably talks about you with his teammates as well.” Normally I would agree but this is a sensitive topic. Daniel isn’t sure yet. And I don’t want him to get pressure from the guys since he trains with us quite often. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk about it with you guys.” I wink at them and stand back up. Lovro rolls his eyes. “Idiot.”

When I come home a few hours later. Another car is parked in front of the house. A car that I am pretty familiar with. What is Peter doing here? Did I forget that we were supposed to babysat today? Normally Peter would remind me twice before he brings his kids to our home. Slowly I enter the airy apartment that always reminds me of Daniels flat in Oslo. “I know it is a hard decision, but I don’t think it is a decision anymore.”, I hear my brother speaking. Oh. Seems like Danny invited my brother to talk about his potential retirement. Judging by Peros last sentence he also thinks that Daniel already made up his mind.

“I am home.”, I call out loudly to make my presence know. It was only fair, and I don’t want to spy on boyfriend. I take off my jacket while I hear rumbling in the living room. Seconds later Daniel is standing in the small hallway. A half smile on his lips. He is wearing jeans. Probably because Peter is over. Normally he prefers sweats at home. Or just boxers, my favourite choice. He closes the distance between us and puts an arm around my torso to pull me in. “Hei.”, he whispers. We are so close that I can feel his breath on my lips. I lean in and kiss him softly. As soon as I wrap my arms around him, I can hear a mumbled noise. Peter. I almost forgot he is here too. Reluctant, I let go of my boyfriend.

“Hello Peter.” My brother is standing in the doorway and has a smile on his lips. He is always so weird about Danny and me. He still looks so ... proud, I guess. As if he still couldn’t believe it. “I don’t want to annoy you guys any longer. Daniel if you want to talk again, I am free most of the time.” Peter pats me on the shoulder when he passes us on the way to wardrobe. “Or you could stay for dinner. If Mina doesn’t mind of course. Daniel made Kjøttboller.” Both of them look at me in surprise. It was not typical for me at all to spend more time with Peter than I needed. Especially outside of our childhood home. Mum hosts a Dinner once a week since I moved out. Whenever we could, Tuesdays were spent there. Recently I used this to speak with Peter more. It is weird but I miss him around. Apart from the dinner I only see him at hand overs for babysitting.

“If it wouldn’t burden you, I would love to try whatever Daniel made.”, Peter replies. “Don’t expect too much. There just meatballs.”, says Daniel and than he presses as short kiss to my lips.

“Do you have time to fly to Norway soon?” We are both not sleeping that night. He didn’t tell me that he is going to retire yet. But I know he knows that I know. If that makes sense. Daniel probably hasn’t said it out loud yet. Not even to himself. Saying something makes something more official. It is like when you say I love you for the first time. It is a big step that can’t be taken back. Nevertheless, the unspoken words are hanging between us. Both too restless to sleep because of it.

“I am going to Wisla. But I could fly to Norway before or after that.”, I answer his question. His hand is running over my chest. It is dark so I can’t really see him, but I think he is sitting a bit up. “I need you there when I tell people. Without you I can’t do it.” “Of course. Tell me when to book flights and I will do the rest.” I swallow hard. Just don’t start to cry, Domen. Daniel is now living here. I will see him more often now since he doesn’t need to go back to Norway that often. And Danny will probably come to a few competitions at least. I close my eyes. “I am proud of you.”, I say and try to hide my trembling voice. “Don’t you think it is cowardly to just give up? To just retire?” There it is. Retire. Fully officially spoken. I turn to my side to face him. I trace his hand on my chest and take it into my hand. “I think it is brave that you know when to stop and to leave the world you have known forever.” It is quiet on the other side of the bed for a few moments. “Thanks, I needed to hear this.” “I love you, Daniel. Of course, I know what you need and now you need a big cuddle session.” As I speak, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into my side. “I love you too.”

The whole flight to Oslo, Daniel squeezed my hand so bad that I almost asked him if he changed his mind. But the look of relief on his face when he realized that he wouldn’t need to jump this time he was back in Norway, made me realize that he was just scared. Scared of what his family and team will say.

The first stop of our list is his family. Trude Tande breaks out in tears as soon as her son announces his retirement. Tears of relief, I should add. Daniel told me once that she always is nervous watching him jump but after Planica it got worse. After we left his family home, we get to his trainer. The only time Daniel said it makes more sense to be alone when he tells someone. So, I wait in the car. He is already in there for half an hour. I don’t know if it’s long or short for this kind off conversation. I never had one myself and I never occurred to me to ask my brothers about their talks with our coaches. I run my hand through my hair while I text Nika to ask how she has been doing. Our schedules didn’t really align the past couple of weeks, so I just saw her once. I would probably have to wait a few hours for a reply since she is in the gym right now.

I look at the watch in the car. Now it has been 40 minutes. At what point should I go in and storm into the office? An hour? Just as I open the car door, Daniel comes out of the building. His eyes puffy and cheeks red. I slam the car door behind me and take a step towards him. He wraps his arms immediately around me when I reach him and buries his face in my neck. “Everything will be alright.”, I say because I don’t know what else to say. Daniel is clinging onto me, and I brush lightly over his back. “It was just so hard seeing the petty look on his face.”

We stand there for a while. I don’t know for how long exactly. At some point his cries get less and less. “Are you okay getting in the car?”, I ask him. He nods quietly and I let him go but without really letting him go. I still hold his hand until he is sitting in the passenger seat. Before I close the door, I give him a small kiss. I take a deep breath outside the car. It hurts so much seeing him like this. We both know it is the right decision, but ski jumping was such a big part in his life. Of course it hurts.

“Should I call the guys and cancel?”, I speak when we finally reached Daniels flat. He invited his teammates and a few old friends to his apartment in Oslo, which he kept until now. It is time to tell them about the retirement as well but after the conversation with his trainer I don’t know if it is the right thing to do today. Some of his teammates are on the way to Wisla as well and booked their flights over Oslo to be here. But I am sure they would understand if he would cancel. “No. I think I have to do this today and I want them to know.” While I nod, I wrap my arms around his torso. He is too restless to sit down, but I trap him near the couch where I sit. He puts his hands over mine and breaths in. Finally, the nervous energy leaves. “Do you want a shot maybe? Or a glass of wine? Beer?” My boyfriend turns inside my arms until he faces me. I open my legs for him and invite him to take a step closer to me. He runs a hand through my hair. “I have a better idea to get the energy out.”, he smirks. “You know the guys are coming in an hour, right? And we need to do the food.” I know logically that it isn’t a good idea, but I let my hand run down his spine until I reach his ass. “Strong words for someone who is practically forcing me onto his lap.” “Force of habit.”, I reply while I put more force in to get him on top of me. He chuckles. “We make it quick.”

 Daniel looks so much relaxed when the doorbell rings. While I put the last mini pizzas in the oven, he opens the door. Andres Fannemel is the first to arrive. He is already retired and not much around in the ski jumping community at the moment. I probably haven’t seen him in at least two years. But Daniel and him kept close contact. “If you want something to drink, Domen is in the kitchen and will get you something. I just put some music on.”, speaks Daniel and the hallway.

I can hear the steps of the Norwegian and swiftly put the last utensils in the cupboard. “Domen.”, nods Anders when he enters the kitchen. “Hey Anders. How is it going?” The retired ski jumper shrugs. I don’t think he is particularly fond of me. Maybe he thinks it was my fault that we took so long to make our relationship public or maybe he just doesn’t like me. But it has gotten better of the years. “Good actually. How are things with you?” “Still trying to figure my form out. Apart from that everything is relatively fine.” Apart from the fact that all my close people in world cup chose to retire. First Cene, then Mac (who just took a break but somehow hasn’t been back), of course Peter and now Daniel. “Are you coping without Peter in training?” “It has been harder than I thought but it is okay. I am a bit closer to my other teammates now.” I take a glass out and give it to Anders. He looks suspicious at it. “Behind you are the drinks.” “And how are you coping with this?” He pours himself a coke into the glass and leans against the table. “With what?”, I reply hesitantly. A smirk is building on Anders face. “It is kind of obvious. Never have I ever seen that Daniel hosts a team dinner and the way he spoke about ski jumping the last few weeks. You forgot that I am already retired. I know what leads to this decision. So, how are you coping with Daniels retirement?”  

Daniel pops into the kitchen. “Rob just texted that he and the others are almost there. The flight from Trondheim was delayed.” Just as he speaks the doorbell rings, and he is out of the door again. Anders still looks awaiting at me. “For him it is the best decision, and I am happy for him. Personally, I would want him to continue but not under those circumstances. Luckily, we live together now. Without that I would be way more stressed about this.”

Daniels flat is packed with ski jumpers and ex ski jumpers. I get a few surprised glances when Dannys teammates realize that I am also here. It is uncommon that I would join a team get together from team Norway. I mean I have done it from time to time but not regularly. But this one is a Daniels place, so I don’t think it is too strange. But it raises suspicions. Robert takes one look at Daniel when he arrives, and I know that he could tell like Anders. It is the way his gaze softens when he picks up on the energy of Daniel and me.

“So, Daniel, why are we here? What’s up?”, says Marius once everyone is settled in with drinks. My gaze shoots up my boyfriend who is already looking at me. I give him a warm smile and lean a bit against him. Again, I am sitting on the couch, and he is standing. This is our thing now apparently. He sets his hand on my shoulder and holds himself steady. Daniel looks up at his friends. I do the same. Some look worried, some look curios. Anders looks proud. “Ehm, I invited you guys over to officially tell you that I am retiring.” I can feel the way he tenses through his hand on my shoulder. I lay my hand on top his and wait on the reaction of his teammates. Robert is the first to speak. “Daniel it was a pleasure.”, he stands up and gives my boyfriend a hug. “I don’t know what to say. My god, Danny.”, Halvor follows. A few seconds later Daniel is surrounded by his teammates in a big group hug.

Next day is the day of the official public announcement. The team thought it would be fitting to shoot the video at the holmenkollen hill. I must agree that the location is perfect. It still is the last place where Daniel won. I am standing behind the camera and watch my boyfriend prepare. The whole night he was up to find words. “Okay Daniel. When ever you are ready.” And then he begins. He is more pulled together than I thought. A proud smile appears on my face. When our gazes meet, he nods barely visible. “I have given this decision a lot of thought. There is a mental barrier that remains after my fall in Planica, the fear has grown bigger than the joy of jumping.” I smirk when I hear a version of my words from when he told me.

When he is done, he takes a few steps in the direction of the hill. I follow him. Daniel looks up the hill with a smile laugh. “I can’t believe this is it. This is really the end.”

[speaker-of-the-void-cats]

"You must learn to tease apart the hues of your own heart." —Parables of the Allspring.

Hey all! I'm a Warlock main named Matt and I've been posting my scattershot Destiny musings, ramblings, and theories since Lightfall's release. In that time, I've really enjoyed exploring the mysteries of the lore and honing my thoughts on Destiny's story through various posting styles. Particularly, I've loved exploring topics like the nature of the Darkness and the Veil, and their place in the story, as well as the generally rhyming, looping, spiraling structure of the game's narrative. I also love Eris, Drifter, Savathûn, and Osiris!

Sometimes I get a little all over, especially in those early posts, with big leaps and a lot of my own writing connecting the dots in an attempt to see a bit into the future. You'll have to pardon some of them, as I'm sure a few have aged pretty poorly or are just straight up bad. But as we've gone through the seasons and learned more, I've tried a sort of variation on web-weaving and assemblage by using lore entries, images, video, and sometimes song lyrics and poetry in a particular order and context to evoke specific moods or convey big, hard to articulate ideas and speculation. Sometimes, I just explore a theme or specific lore nook that fascinates me. It's a weird little practice in meaning-making I really like and the process has helped me unearth possible connections between things I've never considered in my many years following the lore.

As we move through The Final Shape, I wanted to finally compile a list of links to all my posts. Pardon the amount of repetition and, probably, off-the-wall speculation, but I hope you find something interesting if you decide to check them out! Also, keep an eye out for links. Sometimes it's simply the source text on Ishtar, other times.... something more. Please keep in mind that all these are products of the moment in time they were posted in, so topics I explored in early ones may have questions answered in the seasons since, or theories may have been proven unequivocally wrong. The list will largely go from earliest to most recent, and I'll put a * next to my favorites!

The Veil, Nezarec, and Jakob Bohme

Seeing the murals above the Veil enclosure

EMBRACE THE DARKNESS

Thank You, Verse 154i:4 - Call the Thrall

MCXLLII-I, forthcoming.

The EDZ saw paracausal conflict long before the Collapse

Pattern is system and system is sequence, but what is sequence?

Forsaken Lightfall

Deterministic Chaos

Eight

SALVAGE THE TRUTH

Aren't they beautiful?

"What is this feeling? I do not want it."

"They desired meaning. A Winnower to shape the garden."*

"How many legends of katabasis do we have, Ikora?"*

The Sundial

The Dreaming Cities

Not Light, not Dark: Power.*

Chiasmus*

Conspiracy Theory-D

The Truth in the Darkness...

Have you ever been afraid of your own Shadow?*

[I could be wrong. Is it possible the Black Heart will beat again?]*

©0RrUptIôN.*

Prismatic Hearts*

"We are unique emanations of the same shared Light."

Kugelblitz

Final attempts to understand before the Shape is unveiled*

[The following posts contain entries, imagery, and spoilers for the Final Shape and Echoes]

Paradrome

Speaker's Sight — Study the voice. Gaze into the heart.

"Focus. The Pyramid distracts. Nothing more."

It all means one thing

DECRYPTION KEY: 3136664202-777

Ruinous Effigy

There is only SUFFERING

SPOILER ALERT

Hope for the Future

It's not over

Echoing

Echoes of Deep Hidden Truth

Solipsism

Anima Mundi

Caught up in a web

II. Theory**

Gardener|ɿɘwonniW**

Cipher**

Eclipse**

"What is 'OXA,' and who was 'MSund12'?"

I know you're not afraid of a little dark...

How do I live?

Half-Truths**

!lettinggo*

Abyssus abyssum invocat***

THE POINT***

Eyes up, Guardian

"The road ahead is unknown, but time tells us many things. The moments that become past in turn become blueprints for the future. In this space, there is no right or wrong. "We find a contemporaneous merging of what is known and what is unknown here. Somewhere between the knowns and unknowns lies the real. The tangible. "There is a weight to it; a feeling that tells you what you hold is true. "But what if the truth hasn't been told? What if the truth is a lie? "New paths present themselves. Blueprints change. We walk the line of truth every day. "But now, the line that holds the gentle balance has been crossed. "The truth is, this won't be the last time."

—Excerpt from the Symmetry pamphlet, "A Place Between"

Reading for world-building is a skill. I have seen brilliant people, laureates, inventors, Ph.D.s, try to read fiction with deep world-building and fail completely, looping back, rereading, never following events, trapped in a sense of muddled wandering. Reading for world-building requires retaining information without context: a term, a place, a coin, a category comes up once and we know what that is—a puzzle piece—and that our task is to gather up these pieces as the author drops them, and to slowly assemble the whole. This is not easy. Human memory needs hooks for facts: a mnemonic, a story, context, something; grueling textbook rote-learning fades quickly, but a story of the statesman or the king, that's what makes knowledge stay. To retain puzzle pieces that don't connect, dropped without context, is a skill that not all have. All had it once: it is how children read, every book, poster, and headline a stream of unknown terms, far too many to ask about them all, but the child retains them, trusting that they will connect to something someday. Kids collect Earth's puzzle pieces every time they read, but as we move to grown-up books they all use the same picture, and define immediately those terms they fear a reader may not know. Thus the skill of keeping puzzle pieces fades, unless we read books set in other worlds, new puzzle pictures which make us retain the skill, as frogs sometimes retain their tadpole tails into adulthood. This—many have observed—is why most F&SF readers come to the genre young, it's hard to start in adulthood when one's puzzle memory skill has sat atrophied. We find dozens of other puzzle pieces—creatures, buried engines, monstrous plants—but they don't connect either, no explanations, no recurrences. We trust. We ponder. We wade through the clutter of clashing technologies, tales of degeneration, glories lost, but there's no fall-of-space-Rome story to connect it up. We can guess at one, as we can guess the missing end of the story of the strange plants, as we can guess at several ways rats could gain language if time passed and—click—we see it. These puzzle pieces do not fit together—rather this puzzle-maker trusts that we are puzzle-masters and know the archetypes that must fill in between (a rise, an age, a destined king.) So we spread our disconnected puzzle pieces out, not assuming that the strange creatures come from one origin, the ruins from one era, and as we spread out, looking not for direct connections but for fragments of arcs and colors, our 100 puzzle pieces let us glimpse an image so vast it would take 100,000—an image large enough to capture true Deep Future, years numbered in millions, where contours that do connect do so at scales which make the layers of Freud's Rome appear shallow as coats of paint.

—Excerpts from The Path of the New Sun by Ada Palmer, introduction to The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x9 Thoughts

This one might be tied for favorite episode of the season for me. While I’ve been mostly willing to vibe with the jam-packed episodes, I approached 3x9 with a bit of concern; if it felt like the story was getting bigger instead of smaller here in the final third of the season, I was going to start to lose my patience. (To translate: I am an impatient person but I'm also a pretty long-fused person, and me starting to lose my patience would be akin to someone with a short fuse going fucking ham on someone.) Luckily, I felt like each thread here spoke to the other threads really neatly, like watching a cohesive conversation take place in multiple rooms. Magically. 

For this one, I'm gonna attempt some bullets that cover 3x9 itself, then I need to attempt to process this weird experience of MISSING TED (while also basically appreciating what he's doing, but missing him, but appreciating him, lawjefpawoijfapweoijafwepklajwef) that has me very :eyesemoji: about the next three weeks of my life.

Nate’s desire for connection and camaraderie didn’t overshadow his ability to recognize that Rupert was trying to manipulate him into a toxic night out! There will be consequences for pulling away, and he knows it, but he did the right thing anyway. I’ve seen some discussions and arguments re: Jade’s influence on Nate and whether we should attribute Nate’s backbone and ability to make better choices to the love of a woman, and whether that’s disappointing and belittling to both characters, but I think a lot of those positions (on either side) are too hard-and-fast. Nate has always valued the things he values, and his relationship with Jade hasn’t changed his values or the fundamental truth of who he is. At the same time, being physically and emotionally close to a person you trust feels really, really good. Why shouldn’t those good feelings have a positive impact on the reserves of strength you must draw on to do things like stand up to an evil asshole you hadn’t entirely let yourself notice is an evil asshole? Nate in all his multitudes has always been Nate; Nate who is in love is able to see himself more clearly. If we were all only allowed in our real lives to experience character growth purely independently, we wouldn’t get very far.

I’ve been thinking a lot about influence and obligation when it comes to Rebecca’s storyline, too. I was a little afraid, after 3x3 and the way she initially responds to Tish’s prophecies, that Rebecca would end up a lone actor, in a sense, tracking down clues and answers at the expense of fostering her actual existing relationships. While I’m still curious and nervous and excited about what all of it means, I really appreciate that Rebecca has shown up for people this season, especially here in the latter half. Rebecca is almost certainly being driven a little crazy by the unfinished parts of what Tish told her, but she isn’t isolating herself. In calling Roy out for his avoidant behaviors and lack of accountability for the press conference (and, of course, the way his work performance mirrors his decision to leave his relationship with Keeley), she demonstrates accountability as a boss and as a friend. I don’t need to see Rebecca conducting meetings or writing emails to know she’s working, but it felt really important to me to see her get upset with Roy, both professionally and personally, and break through his exterior. Ted, Trent, Phoebe, and even Keeley have chipped away at it this season, but the epiphany required Rebecca being Rebecca. And the energy between Rebecca and Roy is very !!!

I loved the way the Nate-Rupert-Jade, Rebecca-Roy, and Roy-Isaac(-Will!) interactions all reinforce the idea that no one has the full picture of what is happening in another person’s brain, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t act on truths as they are revealed, as difficult as it may be. 

As a queer person who is thankfully many years removed from the most stressful coming-out experiences I’ve had (although of course there are still plenty of moments of having to explain or identify oneself to another person—it never really ends—I consider myself “out” in that everyone in my life who I care about knowing knows I’m queer, and, so long as general safety is established, I feel able to explain it to additional people in most contexts without much or any stress), I really loved and appreciated Colin’s storyline here. Very little about my identity or place in the world resembles Colins, but so much of this episode resonated. We’ve already seen Colin describe his relationship to his sexual identity to Trent, and within that same conversation he spoke about not wanting to be a spokesperson with the pressure of publicly representing gay men. I absolutely love that the framing of the locker room scene respected those desires; he tells his teammates and coaches he’s gay, but we the public aren’t part of the several seconds that the literal announcement occurs. We get to see the freedom and relief the truth brings him, but the lessons of this episode are for the people around him. 

The downside of writing this a couple days after the episode airs means I’ve read a lot of discourse, but I don’t think this episode did a disservice to Isaac or Colin. The writers room in s3 included writers specifically experientially equipped to tell this story, and to me, it shows. It shows in the realism of Isaac’s well-meaning questions (which Colin wouldn’t have answered so graciously if Isaac wasn’t so genuinely curious and caring!), and the tiring ways that queer people are burdened with conversational “obligations” and explanations that are just different than what straight people deal with. Ignorance and awareness exist on an incredibly long spectrum, and for me this story was affirming, not traumatizing, beautiful, and yet it also included the exhausting imperfections that cloak even the most positive coming-out experiences. 

I’ve also been thinking a lot about Ted’s speech. Basically ever since Colin said the thing about Grindr in s2, I’ve been certain Colin would come out as gay to the team and reckon with being closeted in the context of the men’s Premier League. And literally since he made that little comment, I’ve been nervous about how Ted would react. I already knew he was a politically progressive person who identified himself as an ally, so I wasn’t afraid he’d have some kind of bigoted rejection reaction. But I did worry that his reaction would be sooooo cringe and try-hard and awkward that I’d legitimately run into issues writing and posting fiction about his obvious latent bisexuality on our home away from home, Archive of Our Own. And while Ted’s seven-layer-dip Denver Broncos analogy WAS cringe and try-hard and off-base, I absolutely loved how unflinchingly imperfect it was and how, despite those imperfections, his instinct re: the point he actually wanted to make was spot on and extremely valuable. If a white, middle-aged, (past-tense-ish hahahahahahaha I’m so normal about the word “was”) straight man who’s worked in sports his whole life had figured out the perfect thing to say, I’d have rolled my eyes at the screen. It felt realistic to me that he desperately wanted to find an analogy or connection point, immediately regretted it, and still—because of who he is when the din of his thoughts gives way actual clarity—managed to articulate that it’s very, very important that Colin’s community actually cares about who Colin is and that he was able to share this information with them. It’s the difference, in many ways, between being doomed to continue to feel like you have two lives (because you’re surrounded every day by people who look past something important to you or pretend not to see the differences) vs. knowing that even if you never come out to the entire world, you aren’t splintering yourself because you’re able to be your whole self around the people who actually matter. Anyway, the speech was imperfect and unwieldy, and that was the point, and his actual message was essential for everyone in that room to hear, and that was the point, and I will be capable of continuing to write fic in which Ted is attracted to men without his reaction to Colin haunting me. (I actually already have an idea for a future fic in which he reflects more, but that’s literally a story for another time.)

At this point in the season, I feel so curious about, um. What is happening. With Ted Lasso. The guy. In both s1 and s2, I felt about a millimeter away from him at all times, even when he wasn’t onscreen. This season, he’s so intentionally obscured. Getting to go to that museum in Amsterdam with him—and, perhaps even more importantly, the Yankee Doodle Burger Barn, and perhaps even more importantly than that, the back of that bus—was a relief and a reconnection point that was much needed, but I am absolutely FASCINATED and MYSTIFIED at this point in time at just how effective and maddening it is that I’m having a lot of trouble understanding how he truly feels about himself and the people around him. Like, I would obviously love to watch him be in love with Rebecca. But I would also love to watch him be in love with a place, or with two places, or with coaching, or with his partially-lost Beard, or with the words and images that have come to him in visions, or even with the unhealthy things that pull at him, like booze and stewing and obsession. Basically every episode—at least for me—contains some glimmer of connection, to his self or to one of his friends, and it’s always fleeting, and I’m holding onto the almost certainty of the fact that the decisions he has to make are going to require some kind of visible reckoning. Most of my nerves about the final three episodes of this show as we know it are related to these questions. 

As for this episode, I don’t think I’ve quite captured the FEELINGS I felt while watching it. (I also completely failed to go into Ted sharing his biscuits with Keeley and continuing his perfect streak of making it super weird whenever he shares biscuits with a non-Rebecca person. I LOVED IT.) This was the episode that made me the most audibly squeal-y this season. And the most curious about how Ted has managed to get so far into his own brain that I actually miss him on his own show! Very curious stuff. What are the next three Tuesdays going to do to my brain and heart?

[lavendori]

[MP100] TSUBOMI: FINAL BOSS

if mob is about a powerful esper trying to navigate the struggles of adolescence and social acceptance, then tsubomi, despite being hardly present in the series, is The Main informant of shigeo’s latent power and thus, mob & ‘???%’s final boss.

the first times we see her, it’s through the idealized lens of mob pining for her from a distance. they were childhood friends but he barely talks to her anymore. she is reportedly the school idol & based on other’s reactions, she seems like a far-off unattainable dream.

throughout the series leading up to season 3, we get a sizable amount of hints of her character. most notably, she doesn’t seem to care for mob’s powers, which causes mob to conclude that psychic powers don’t make a man appealing. ritsu also says she’s the kind of person (manga) who would just go home if she got bored. when we first met dimple, his “get a clue” line really triggered mob, and we get this vision of younger takane saying it to him (not entirely sure if it was a flashback or projected image due to mob’s interaction with dimple, tbh.. someone can correct me if i’m wrong!)

based on these things, at least for me, my first impression is that she’s a bit shallow and possibly even a little mean. mob obviously has amazing qualities + so much compassion beneath his middle school awkwardness & is SO powerful but she’s not really impressed by it. why would mob like her and let himself feel so bad about his powers being less appealing than an athletic guy who can run fast?

later on, in season 2, however, we get a bit more hints of what she’s like. we see her observe mob when mob uses his powers to fix emi’s writing notebook (i’ll come back to this). we also see a moment of her and her friend in reigen’s office where the friend asks reigen for romantic advice. takane asks him something too and it’s concerning, especially for ritsu, who now believes she’s interested in some guy from cram school. (ritsu is also trying his best to hide the fact that mob is associated with reigen LOL). but then, we see a scene where she tells the friend she made up a story to test reigen. this definitely gives more edges to her character. it’s now clear that she’s not just an airheaded popular girl who’s into superficial things like dating and gossip. she might be a little shallow, but she’s not superficial. she has the intellectual capacity to test reigen.

so yeah, maybe she is a little shallow, but i think rather than superficial, tsubomi is image-focused and puts a lot of thought into how she presents. while this might be a different form of shallowness, she’s not an airhead who only thinks about mundane things. rather, she cares about her image and how she comes off to others. when she sneezes in front of her friends, her first thought jumps straight to “they will make a laughing stock of me in the school!” - she must be pretty self-conscious to assume this. you either have bad choice in friends who aren’t real and laugh at you when your time comes OR, as mezato suggests, she simply doesn’t feel like she can trust anyone and therefore guards herself quite diligently.

mezato, who has proven herself to be a sharp observer of people, says that tsubomi holds her real feelings back & doesn’t let them show. guys only like her for her looks but nobody seems to really Know her. she doesn’t seem interested in other people. even her friends don’t seem to notice or see her true colors behind the mask of her pretty smiling face.

and then there’s the comedic line of guys who don’t really know her, all waiting to confess to her before she officially moves out of school. here we also see clear moments of her brutal honesty. of course, being asked “why don’t you like me” is an uncomfortable situation to be in, but she could’ve responded in other ways for example, i know people who feel bad and might sugar coat the truth a bit more (especially in middle school!), or might have been shown more visible discomfort bc it’s hard for them to hide their feelings. instead, she doesn’t bat an eye and remains impassive when she tells them straight up she’s not interested. the most emotion she really shows is just cringe @ the boys lol. this honesty says a lot about her & also is reminiscent of the past where she tells child mob “i’m bored of that.”

these qualities are also affirmed by dimple during the divine tree arc. although dimple was provoking mob, his description of tsubomi lines up with everything else. she’s honest about her values & doesn’t conform to others, even when her friends offered the divine tree food. she cares about her image but doesn’t trust anyone, not even friends. all of this paints a picture of tsubomi as a cold guarded person who is brutally honest, extremely aware of her values, & stays true to those values + herself.

ironically, this is actually kind of the direct opposite of mob, who is a gullible softy and has a hard time putting weight to his own convictions (of course, due to trauma, but i digress). right from the start, we see through reigen, dimple, and tome that mob is still developing his own views/opinions. 

but you know what, maybe that’s one of the reasons he likes her. they’re childhood friends & she has all the qualities he lacks. she also doesn’t make a big deal out of his powers, which he seems to subconsciously appreciate— (being treated as normal, that is). likewise, others make a big deal of her & don’t treat her like normal either. she clearly doesn’t trust others & one has to wonder if that’s a related (& partially a self fulfilling prophecy. she doesn’t show her true self & therefore doesn’t get treated like normal either.)

they’re both just normal people who knew each other as kids. mob wasn’t even aware she was the school idol. even if tsubomi doesn’t realize it, i think part of her appreciates that mob is someone that still treats her earnestly for who she is.

this is mostly evidenced by the few shots of tsubomi observing mob. for one, the fact that she was watching mob patch emi’s writing back together, and had thoughts on it, seems kinda different from the usual stuff we see of her. she’s also ready to give reigen the benefit of the doubt after seeing mob’s photo in the office. ultimately, although she does not trust a lot of people, she does trust in mob’s earnestness, even to the point of waiting for him despite evacuation orders, despite the earthquake and heavy winds from ???%’s power swirling around her. she noticed that his voice was shaky & (at least mentioned in the manga) this was the main reason she stayed behind. despite how far they grew apart from each other, she still really trusts him & believes he’s a trustworthy guy.

also, still not sure why they took this part out but given what we do know about tsubomi, it would appear this sort of dynamic would actually be possible between them. which is ??? interesting???

anyway, all this is to say: despite how little we see of her, her relevance to mob’s growth & confrontation to ???% is HUGE. neither mogami nor suzuki could bring out mob’s full strength, even if they challenged him to his limits. mob was only able to fully snap out of mogami’s created headspace after dimple mentions tsubomi. even when teru awoke ???% that one time, it didn’t cause nearly as much damage as this final arc. tsubomi is mob+???%’s first love, and ???% has a LOT of feelings about that!

(tl;dr) and that is why tsubomi is his true Final Boss.

[baelatargaryen]

how do you like season 2 so far?

how long have you got cause i could go on for ages 😭

that being said, in reference to season 1, that's a hard comparative to make, especially having seen only the first three episodes. the first season was obviously setting up everything that's happening now and establishing characters and was structured completely different so it's not easy to compare.

in terms of character... i cut out a whole paragraph here on a comparative to got bc i didn't want it to get too long, but the main difference between got and hotd is that hotd shot itself pretty early in the foot with characterisation and significant changes and now it has to reap the consequences of it. regarding hotd s2, thoughts so far....

the bad:

aemond and alicent's plotlines are the weakest. the show doesn't want to commit to either of these characters being an antagonist which is partially the problem, but it's also made the odd decision that their storylines have distanced them from the immediate cast at times and that's made them feel like they're on the outside of the events occurring and slightly side-lined.

alicent and cole's relationship really could have been done much better, and i think the route they've gone down has slightly cheapened certain scenes. and frankly, it's kind of a let down how little passion or tension there is in the scenes, like personally they've somehow made them boring to me.

the less said about rhaenys' character, the better. eve best is such an amazing actress and yet rhaenys has become a sort of mouthpiece of the writers themselves to pontify to us about the futility of war and both-sides-esque arguments. we get it.

certain things are just beating a dead horse over and over again. how many times must the show attempt to answer the question of daemon's loyalty, and whether he wants to be king. how is this arc not resolved yet? or

having the dance centre around the misunderstanding of a prophecy was a mistake and having revealed that to alicent last episode was a mistake too i think. it's lessened her character for it, and now it's also taken the genuine tension or dramatic irony out of the rest of the season. her character feels completely aimless.

the good:

perhaps calling this "good" is a misrepresentation, regardless i kinda appreciate the show clearly trying to over-correct itself in regards to some writing decisions made in s1. that being said, it's unfortunately too little too late. still, i do find it kinda funny. if only they had started here from the get go, it would be a better show for it.

baela & rhaena & jace finally having some scenes that establish how they feel about the conflict and their role within the family. i'm excited to see more of them all!

the entire daemon in harrenhal arc is interesting to me and i always jump at a fantasy element, one that i felt has been really missing from the show despite the fact we have literal dragons — somehow it has felt less fantastical thann got in regards to that, so the harrenhal arc is a welcome surprise to me.

helaena has been a welcome surprise to me, i think phia saban killed it in episode 1 and episode 2 and i'm kinda curious where they go with her character.

i do like the set up of some new dynamics as well; the tension between rhaena and her family, or larys setting his eye on aegon now that alicent has lost her seat of power.

stand out actors for me so far: emma d'arcy, matt smith, eve best, tom-glynn carney, phia saban and rhys ifans.

current episode rankings for me:

episode 2 — rhaenyra the cruel (best ep so far)

episode 1 — a son for a son

episode 3 — the burning mill (the weakest episode so far imo)

at the moment, it's hard to compare the episodes. my favourite s1 episode was lord of the tides, at which point we've been with the characters enough that the emotional payoff was significant.

ep 2 was my favourite bc of the writing centred around the emotional fallout — rhaenyra and daemon's fight, aegon and helaena's grief over their son, even the cargyll fight is centred around their relationship. that being said, ep 2 didn't make me as emotional as rhaenyra's grief in episode 1, or jace breaking down trying to relate his time in the vale/the north to his mother. if they had handled b&c closer to the books, i imagine episode 1 would have been the no. 1 for me.

[hyperfigations]

A Nightingale's Song: A Nice And Not-So-Accurate Season 3

Summary:

“How long are you going to brood today? Because we have about thirty minutes until I gotta close up shop,” A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the coffee shop owner had sat down at his table. Crowley rolled his eyes from underneath dark lenses. “M’not brooding,” He mumbled, attempting to take a sip of his coffee without wincing at the bad taste it left in his mouth. Nina knew better, especially after having to put up with him for the past six months. She gave him a knowing look. “I’d say all liars go to hell but ya know,” ♡♡♡ Two months after Aziraphale had accepted the Metatron's offer, the Second Coming is finally put into motion. Aziraphale and Crowley must get over their personal issues to do what they do best: Stop Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth.

Prologue: The angels fall and Aziraphale makes a new friend on the Eastern Gate.

Word Count: 2,382

TW: None! I don't think! Let me know if there is though!

Author's Note: Hello! First fic in a year or so! So I am VERYYY rusty 😭 I apologize for that! And first Good Omens fic I've ever written! I'm pretty excited! I hope you like it!!

Also Disclaimer: This fic is just for entertainment purposes! I'm not really trying to predict Season 3 or anything, this is all just for fun!!!

Please enjoy! And if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know! I always aim to write better! Thank you!!

God had once said the days leading to the Sin of Eden had all been nice.

But God lied.

The day the angels had fallen was indeed not nice. Though many were ready for this two-day war to be over, the end was not what they had in mind. It was a sour, bitter victory. They had watched their Lord cast out their once dear friends from their home, the very home they had helped build. The crowds of angels who were just battling their brothers and sisters now stared blankly down from Heaven through the parted clouds. Grief and horror had not existed before that moment, but it was written all over their faces.

God was never thought of as being cruel, at least not in those first few days of the world being made. But it was hard to think of Her as anything else as She made a point to let all those who were left see the Fall. It was like She wanted them to know the cost of disobedience.

The sight of all those who opposed Her dropping from the sky was… well, it was terrifying. If there were humans on Earth -which at this point in time, there weren’t- they would look up at the sky and see one of the most beautiful meteor showers they had ever laid eyes on. But there weren't any people on Earth. Not yet. And what the angels saw was anything but beautiful. They did look like stars falling from the dark blanket of a sky, the last of their grace being stripped away by gravity as it pulled them downward. The soft glow of their holy light was now replaced with a raging fire that outlined their bodies.

The Fall felt slow. Agonizing. Many tried to fly back upward, begging for their Creator to help them like a crying child reaching toward their mother. But God hadn’t even flinched. She watched Her creations tumble downward with no remorse. Their white wings set ablaze with just a blink of Her eyes and from the heavens, they could hear them screaming.

The Fallen’s descent from their old home was broken by boiling pools of sulfur. Thousands of disobedient angels splashed into these pools, and the heat did not comfort their already burning bodies.

They were all sobbing, screaming out to God. God was listening, but She didn’t answer.

The Fallen climbed their way out of the thick liquid, not looking quite the same as they were. Their once clear skin was now riddled with scales or warts or anything deemed unholy. They had features that looked quite similar to the animal prototypes that were still in beta back in Heaven, and the love they had once felt from God Herself was gone. They were left feeling unloved, unholy, and ugly.

They wanted to go back home.

But one Fallen Angel, a little more determined than the others to crawl out of boiling black sulfur pits, made his way to the edge of the bubbling pool. He forced himself up and out, his dark auburn curls matted down with black-like tar. His robes were now darkened, his wings still ablaze. His soft eyes were now sharp and yellow and filled with malice. They were burning and wet, not just from tears but from the chemicals that forced its way through his lids. He didn’t know if he was staring at his maker. But he did know She was listening. He could feel Her listening to all of their suffering. That in itself made him more livid.

“Why,” he screamed to Her. And all the angels who stayed above could hear him clearly over the cries of the damned. One angel was more interested in listening than the others. The fluffy-haired cherub stepped forward to get a better view of the ripped-open earth below where the Fallen had landed.

“You’re punishing us? And for what? You made us like this! You gave us the freedom to ask questions! To choose! Why punish us for how you made us?! Why should we pay for your mistake?!”

The one angel in the crowd cringed, as he looked down through the clouds. It was dawn now and the sun, the very sun that was made by that particular fallen angel, was shining against the Fallen. And the exiled angels were far easier to see now. The fallen angel, glaring at God, had in fact been the angel he saw create gorgeous star systems and beautiful nebulas. He never did catch his name… Not that it matters now. But even so, his heart hurt for him. The cherub whose name is Aziraphale, admired how passionate he had been while cranking up the engine to start the universe. Oh, how his eyes shined brightly, almost mimicking the stars he had just created. But that angel questioned God… He denied Her plan. Even now, he was still asking questions. The very same kind of questions that had led him to be punished. So why did Aziraphale feel so bad for him?

To Aziraphale’s horror, he found himself wondering the same thing. She created them. She gifted them with freedom of choice, but when some angels exercised that freedom, they were punished. What was the point of giving someone the right to choose if they can’t choose? the angel found himself pondering, but then his eyes met with the being that was God, and his thoughts were replaced with terror. She was all-knowing. She could probably hear every single doubt that crossed his mind. He didn’t want to fall… Falling was horrible… It wasn’t too long ago when angels would look to God and feel a warm comfort. She was supposed to be a beacon of hope. But She was radiating anything but. It was clear from the authority on Her face now that She wanted to be feared. And She was feared.

Angels were terrified to even speak, lest they say something that would displease Her. Nobody - not even the mightiest of archangels- dared to speak up.

They all stared at Her in silence… A deep, tense silence.

God decided She was quite finished with the Fallen. She had made her point loud and clear to her children. With the wave of Her hand, God closed the clouds so no one could see the Fallen any longer. The screams had ceased. Well, the screams continued but they just couldn't be heard by the angels anymore. Her head turned to look at all Her remaining soldiers and smiled a sickening, sweet grin. She glanced at the angel who stood next to Her, and he nodded. His white wings spread wide, his voice carrying across what was once a battlefield, “We've already wasted too much time, don't you all think? Let’s get back to work.”

With that, God left them to do Her work. The Metatron, the mouthpiece of God, reminded the angels that She wouldn’t punish them if She hadn’t cared. That she loved all of them dearly. But the word love didn’t feel right. How was what they saw love? But Aziraphale shook his head, eager to be rid of the doubt that began to riddle his mind.

Who were they to question God?

Even if it was clear that Her love was one of her many lies.

♡♡

Aziraphale didn’t feel like he earned his promotion, but when the Supreme Archangel tells you that you’re no longer a cherub but a principality, then you don’t argue. You just nod, and ask what to do next. The past few days had been busy since then. He had been put in charge of God's special little place on Earth that they had settled on calling the Garden of Eden. He was to look after it, protect it from the Fallen Angels, who (according to the Metatron) were to be called demons now. Aziraphale didn't get why, to be honest. Why would the Fallen Angels… or "demons" want to hurt what they helped create. Then again, nothing made sense anymore. Everyone in Heaven used to be so sure of themselves; of their work. But nowadays, since the end of the Great Battle, everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells. As if any minute mistake would cause any of them to join their estranged peers down in Hell.

Aziraphale stood on the Eastern Gate, mindlessly playing with the flaming sword that was given to him. He was told to use said sword if anyone threatened Eden, but if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would ever use it. Not even on a demon. Even with the stories that Michael was telling the Cherubs about them, how evil they were. No, we wouldn’t dare… even so, he still held onto the sword dutifully, as if he would use it. He turned from the gigantic, beige dunes outside of the walls to look at the luscious, green beauty of God’s newest creation. Eden at the moment, was bountiful with hard-working angels, trying to get everything ready for tomorrow, which was going to be a big day, so they were told. Word upstairs was that God was ready to let loose Her newest invention: humans. This day was the day that all angels have been waiting for since God Herself presented the plan she had for Earth.

His face brightened slightly at the sight of some angels tending to the plants in the garden, laughing amongst themselves as they worked. For the first time in a few days, they seemed relaxed. Like they were Before.

It was nice.

A low hissing noise sounded near his feet. The principality let out an involuntary yelp, jumping back. His white wings spread above as if to make him seem bigger than whatever had startled him. His grip on the hilt of the sword tightened as he looked down at the end of his white robes only to see a long line of black and red scales. The angel’s eyes narrowed as he stepped forward to take a closer look. He was a bit surprised to see the black and red line staring straight back up at him, with gleaming yellow eyes. Aziraphale had seen prototypes back in Heaven of a creature like this, though at the moment the name of such a beast slipped his mind. He glanced down at the group of angels to see if they had heard him, but thank the Lord, they did not. How embarrassing would that be? To be frightened so easily by a creation of God? Aziraphale’s face flushed red, letting out a flustered giggle.

“Oh dear,” He said. “You gave me quite the scare.”He bent down, the bottom of his wings laying gently on the warm, gray stone of the wall behind him. He beamed bashfully at the beast, who was still watching him curiously. “What are you doing up here?” He asked, inquisitively. “I do rather think you’re supposed to be down in the garden with the other animals.” Aziraphale watched the beast as if it was supposed to answer him. “I suppose you’re just being curious. I don’t blame you, truthfully.” The angel stood up straight just to sit down on the edge of the wall, watching the others work once again, his legs dangling over the edge. The beast didn’t move, he still just watched the guardian. It almost carried a nervous energy to it and turned its attention to the flaming sword in his hand. Realization dawns upon the angel's face and without hesitation, he set the sword on his side away from the creature. "Oh no, don't worry, my dear," he whispered sweetly. "You're safe here." Aziraphale's face grew brighter as the beast slithered its way up next to him. It kept its golden eyes fixed on him, cautiously. "I bet all you creatures are very confused with what's going on down there," He told it. "Tomorrow is a big day. A happy one at that! Everything we've worked on… fought for will all be clear tomorrow." The beast gave him a look of doubt. Aziraphale could feel it wash over him, "Well… at least I hope it will be clear." He glanced at it, his lips creasing down on his face but quickly shook it off. "No, no. It will be. God has a plan, and we angels have the easy part. We just follow it." For the first time since it had got here, the beast stared away from the angel and out into the garden. It was thinking. "Well then," Aziraphale sighed, startling the beast out of its thoughts. It let out a small hiss, moving away from the angel as he scrambled up to his feet, snatching up the flaming sword on his way up. Aziraphale didn't pay any mind to the creature, it was obviously just afraid, and though he didn't understand why, he knew better than to pry into its business. Not that he could actually talk to it anyway. The other animals weren't up to conversation, and he assumed that this one wasn't any different. This one was different however in the way it did seem to respond. Maybe not in words but he could feel that it understood him. He'd never come across such a clever creature. "I should return to my duties before Archangel Gabriel catches me lounging around. You see, he doesn’t take kind to being lazy on the job. You should get back with the other animals, my dear." The beast glanced his way and then back at the garden, almost looking a bit hesitant to go in. Aziraphale waved his hands dismissively, "Not that I don't enjoy your company. Because I do! But I'm sure the angels down there will notice you gone, and everything must be in tip-top condition for tomorrow. So off you go!" The beast's forked tongue tested the air before it slipped its way down the stone and into Eden. The Guardian of the Eastern Gate grinned proudly to himself as if to say ‘Good job me! Making sure tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible!’ He now was ready (if not far more ready than before) to continue his duty of making sure no pesky demons make their way into the garden.

[methinmycoffee]

~~Spoilers (S26 E6)~~

A season finale to be remembered (forgotten). Eh, here's what I thought anyway.

Let's start with the positives:

I honestly enjoy Rick. He's funny, entertaining it's nice to see Garrison's impact on a positive influence in his life. I'll touch more on him in the negatives, but for now he's a generally good character. Me yelling "DUMP HIS ASS!" at the TV is good, because it means I am genuinely invested in this relationship. Even though I think Rick is far too good for Garrison, I don't mind that they're together. It's the new Clybe, a garbage fire reality TV couple.

Funny. Hehehe. I very much enjoyed the comparisons to like, a party addict but it's just Trump and he's getting a bunch of people to rally with him. Especially the scene in the bathroom where it’s like two guys doin’ it but they’re just screaming about America.

Stan is a nerd, but in a fun way. Good for him. A little out of left field, but good for him.

I enjoyed the parallel to Randy and Garrison's relationship. Especially at the end, when they reveal that Randy needs Sharon like Garrison needs Rick. Even though it's not healthy or fun for Sharon and Rick to deal with their partners, they're sort of stuck babysitting man-children they feel responsible for. Deep, but sort of fun and not as serious as I'm making it sound.

Let's middle with the negatives (idk man):

I DO NOT LIKE RANDY! Why did they do that to him? Honestly my Quest For Rankings(tm) has made me a little sad because I miss the old Randy. Since when is he an asshole with little regard for Stan's goings on? Since when is he a party guy who only cares about tits and booze and really hates Sharon and Shelly? Since he started to suck, around the time of season 20 but really going in full swing around season 22. This Randy was especially insufferable, and I do not enjoy him and Stan having a dumpster fire relationship.

Style feel divorced now. Matt Stone's characters had zero lines in this episode, so idk what's up with that, but Stan got to pick one person to play with all spring break and he chose To(l)k(i)en? Not in my canon. Seriously, I feel like this section should be longer because I’m so mad. I don’t like the change. I don’t think To(l)k(i)en doesn’t have a place in the show, but it’s not as the new Kyle.

We don’t need another bad relationship. Idk, I like Rick, but I think that maybe instead of constantly creating identical, toxic relationships where characters who used* to be fun become angry and bitter just like the aging writing staff. Give us some Stendy resolution. Give us a nice Sharon and Randy (shandy? Handy?) episode. Make a Creek episode at all. I know I complement the parallels between Garrison and Randy’s relationships, and it works well for in individual episode but imo it’s a little bit too much for every couple to constantly hate each other now. Matt and Trey must be having trouble in paradise.

*note: this is very in character for Garrison, actually. But maybe just set all that aside for a while and give us a good old fashioned Stan and his current lover (Kyle, Wendy, To(l)k(i)en even) against a clear evil without an agenda. Throw in Cartman and Kenny too.

And We’ll end with some Nitpicking:

This is honestly our season finale? This is it? A pretty decent Garrison plot and a shitty Randy plot? No main four classic adventure? No check-in for Cartman and his regular house? No hard reset away from Stolkien and back towards Style or away from Tregridy? Okay. We’ll see how the Paramount specials pan-out then.

I’m so tired, man.

The house party was a weird thing that came out of no where. Like, Randy threw water on a stripper that he hired to harass his son and his “friend”, and then the pimp(?) (not really sure, but I don’t think that’s how strippers work) was like “I’ll shoot you” so Randy said “I have drugs in the barn” and then Andrew Tate(?) was like “Okay let’s get hammered then.” And then he invited everyone he knew to a random weed farm in rural Colorado and they had a party? K.

A final thought:

I don’t usually do this. But I feel like this over-analysis was a little meaner than I usually am with these. So I’m going to put this out there: I don’t mind this episode. (5/10). It’s not evil. It didn’t kill my first born. I think Garrison’s plot was solid and in line with his character. I am just tired of toxic relationships. I don’t think this is specifically on Garrison, in fact I think the problem is more with Stendy and Shandy or whatever. I don’t like that Randy sucks now, and I didn’t like his half-assed “boys should be boys” attitude. I believe he can be done correctly, but something different needs to be done.

Also I don’t hate To(l)k(i)en, I’m mostly just mad at what’s been done to the show, and his shift to Stan’s best friend is part of it. I don’t mind Stolkien either, I’m not opposed to it, I just personal don’t think that To(l)k(i)en is that interesting and I miss the before times.

This is a call to the South Park team! You can be good. You can do good. You can write good (well). I have faith in you. If I was the only one who saw these problems, then the issue would lie more with me, but I’m not and I don’t think it is. But I have Faith! DikinBaus was good! Cupid Ye was good! Deep Learning was good! You can do some Deep Learning yourself and process what about those episodes worked, and we can get some kickass specials this summer. I believe in you! <3

[theredjoka]

Show Review 📺: The Owl House

The Owl House Review: POTENTIAL SPOILERS

(Sooooooooo I haven't done a review in a VERY long time, and even then when I did reviews I did very brief ones. So I decided that I would do more in-depth reviews and this one will be my first. If I'm not good please bear with me, I'm new to this. With all that being said let's start.)

I first heard of The Owl House from social media and was very hesitant to watch it for two big reasons: First off, I'm not a fan of Disney after 2014. Secondly, the only thing I've heard people talk about was the romantic couple and that turned me off to the show. Not because it was an LGBT+ couple but because I thought that if romance was the only thing talked about then the rest of the show must not have anything of merit. Then one day a good friend of mine was raving about it and I decided to give it a shot.

Before I get to anything I want to say at the time of this review there is still 1 episode that has yet to be aired so I will try to avoid as many spoilers as possible but success is not guaranteed. The story follows Luz Noceda, a good-hearted human kid who was struggling to fit in due to her odd interest and inability to control her impulses. After some incidents at school, her mom was pressured to send her to a camp to “cure” her. Instead of going to the camp, she ends up stumbling into another dimension full of magic and demons, finally making friends and seemingly finding a place to belong and Adventures ensue. That's all I'm going to say regarding what the plot is about in case anyone wants to check the show out & if I described the entire story I'd lose my mind and this review would take FOREVER! Now, this might sound like me fanboying but I enjoy the writing of this show & I'm struggling to think of something to criticize without nitpicking. I hear a lot of comparisons to Gravity falls but I haven't seen that show so I can't speak for that. I can say that the show has some darker elements to it especially when you get to the main villain of the series. The characters themselves, by and large, are very likable and well-written, and despite how short the series will inevitably be very well developed my favorite being Amity but all that is very hard to get into without spoiling the entire series. Ironically the relationship is the thing that had me hesitant to see the show and it ended up being one of my favorite things in the entire show. It's so well done and comes across naturally and without feeling rushed or forced which is a thing that animated shows struggle with. All relationships whether they are platonic, romantic, siblings, or rivalries are well-written and well-developed. The characters themselves are great: Luz is very likable and relatable, Eda is a great mentor/mother figure, King is a little gremlin, & Hooty is probably the funniest. The boiling isles are interesting from a story standpoint but aren't anything new conceptually; it's like some you would see in an ideal anime.

Now if you think the characters are the only thing going for this series that is not the case, the presentation is also top-notch. The boiling isles from a design standpoint are very interesting, dangerous, and zany world that the human protagonist gets stuck in. The creature designs are more unique while I struggle to tell what they are most of the time they fit in so naturally in this world. The character designs are SUBLIME but that's a subjective topic also Amity gets the best outfits. The animation is also beautiful and if you want proof of that look no further than the dance scene in season 1 and all the fight scenes I mean as a whole the show is well well-animated but that scene specifically is just amazing. 

The voice acting shocked me because when it comes to the main cast I was not familiar with most of these actors & actresses. Eda's actress I recognized immediately it's Wendie Malick who is pretty much just doing her normal voice but it fits the character so well. King and Hooty are bafflingly voiced by Alex Hirsch the creator of Gravity Falls showing his very impressive range (he probably voiced characters in Gravity Falls but again I've never seen it) & Amity is voiced by Mae Whitman a voice actress I'm a huge fan of and very familiar with. Some very high-profile voiced actors play more minor characters: Roger Craig Smith, the late Billy Kametz, and 2 of my absolute favorites Grey DeLisle and Erica Lindbeck. I'm not saying the main cast aren't big actors I'm just not familiar with their work and they all do an amazing job with their respective roles

I wanted to save this last bit for some issues I had with the show, but I have nothing negative to say about it. I guess I can say the soundtrack isnt the most memorable aside from the opening and that lovely end credits theme. The soundtrack as a whole isn't bad but nothing remarkable. The lowest point of the show is episode 2 and even then is pretty good stuff. Honestly, the only issue with the show is something that isn't the show's fault and that's its premature cancellation. Despite being one of their most well-received and highly-rated shows Disney decided to cancel it and not give it a full 3rd season. Disney's reason for this was "It didn't fit the Disney brand".....(ugh). Some say it was because of its darker story elements and Imagery. Some say it's because it was hitting older audiences instead of the intended younger demographic. Some say it's because of the LBGT+ representation although the creator herself seems to think that it wasn't the case and I feel it wouldn't have gotten green-lit in the first place if that was the case. If you ask me I think it simply costs too much to make and the production values reflect that and Disney wanted to make budget cuts. Thankfully it's getting a proper ending unlike another one of my favorite shows (*cough* Teen Titans *cough*).

The Owl House is just a gem; it hits every check mark for me. I have gotten way more into this show than I have any cartoon or anime since 2015 and there is a very passionate and wholesome fan base attached to it. I would put this in the same category as Avatar, Batman TAS, & Teen Titans as one of my top PERSONAL favorite cartoons. Never thought I would be praising a Disney product post-2014 but credit where credit is due. Kudos to Dana Terrace for making such a beautiful show and I'll definitely follow what she works on in the future.

(I might update this review based on the final episode and some other things one I reread it)

Rating: 10/10

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #8: Achievement (Almost) Unlocked! And A Pre-New Year's Mess

Does it ever happen to you that you're so energetic, and hyper, and full of determination and all - and then you take a deep breath, sit down happily on your comfy couch, and you're ready to start writing a new and lovely blog post!.. ... but then you realize you have absolutely nothing to write about. Or - perhaps, to be more precise - you feel like there's nothing worth mentioning that would make an interesting, succulent, and informative post.

That happens to me once in a while - which is odd, considering how much of a babbler I tend to be when it comes down to self-expression in written form (it must be, Lothar affects me in a certain way and alters my usual behaviour, because normally in my life outside any artistic activities I am fairly quiet).

The aforementioned little hiccup on my way of the "ultra-completionist of the Pre-2024 To-Do List", unfortunately, hindered my progress, and the final number of the blog posts ended up a tad smaller. I don't think there are any complaints from the readers though 😎 I'll try to keep up next year. On a side note, one of the goals on the list has been removed and deliberately postponed until January. I have reasons, trust me 😁

But most importantly, Christmas season of "Time & Again" turned out to be pretty good! Just as planned, at this point of time, just a couple days short of 2024 (because I started writing this post yesterday), The Lineart is 98% done - it only needs a sparkle of perfection and and a short session of filling up the gaps and missing spots here and there on different pages. AND DONE. Moving on to The Colouring Stage right after all of that has been properly handled. (oops, unintentionally, I lied: I already started to partially colour some peculiar things... too excited; can't hold back, LOL!) I would say, this is truly a great achievement. Well... almost got an achievement anyway. Working on your grand project every day, little by little, and watching it growing, evolving, and getting fleshed out a little more day by day is hard to describe in a verbal form. I wonder about this sometimes... Perhaps, those who have never been in a similar situation will not understand this emotion very easily. But I'm telling you with 100% honesty, as usual - this emotion is priceless and really makes you feel that you're doing something important in life.

So, in short, everything goes steadily and as planned. Plans change sometimes - but that is totally fine. Currently, everything is indeed as planned - and I can't help but rejoice 🥳

As a treat for reading yet another one of my excessively talky talky longreads, I'll tease you with some rather unpredictable snippets now ;)

Just who are those guys???.. And what's the situation??? They sure look feral! You will definitely find answers to all of these questions after Chapter 5 is released sometime in 2024 ;)

... In the meantime, as I've been working on a peculiar troublesome background, I have discovered a handy option in Krita's Assistant Tool that I believe has a possibility to make my life easier in the future. I used Assistant Tool before, and quite profusely. But thanks to a certain video I came across, I happened to find out that there's more to that incredible tool. I'm excited to cover this topic in the next blog post, so stay tuned!

I also made a horrible mess on one of the pages that currently looks this way:

How do you like the funny lettering???!!! 😁 Those are not stickers, by the way (although that's certainly a good idea to turn those into stickers!.. That'd be a story for another day tho). Why those are needed - that I'll keep a secret for now. But I wanted to show you what they look like - especially when cluttered altogether, hehe. Also, obviously, this is not the final version of each one of those sound effects bubbles. There's more work to do eventually 😉

For now... let there be silence. In a bit over 24 hours, the calendar will show 2024 on this side of the globe. So I'll stop typing right now and I'll save more stories for later. ... I'm also wrapping it up for today with my ridiculous habit to scatter vaguely related song references across the text, so, yup - time for a small break 😅 (And I should also take a break from listening to Ultravox on repeat, otherwise my non-existent vinyls are gonna get non-existent holes in them... wait... how does that work exactly, again?..)

So, for a bye-bye, I'll say show this:

Bah-bye, my friends! And see you next year! 👋🥳😁

[legion1227]

South Park: The Stick of Truth. A Game Review

I was sitting on this for most of this year. In March, it will have been ten years since its release. It was played on a whim, and it was fun.

Not too far from my university is a store that sells typical nerdy stuff such as Funko pops, board games, and retro video games for the PS3, PS2, etc. One time over there, I saw they had a copy of South Park: The Stick of Truth for the PS3 for cheap. Having never played it before, I bought it. As society strays away from physical media to embrace digital, I still welcome owning physical copies of various games, movies, etc, for a multitude of reasons. Getting to play Stick of Truth was an intriguing experience: Especially on the PS3.

If you're somehow unaware, the long-running animated sitcom, not counting this shit first-person shooter for the N64, released its first video game in the franchise back on March 4th, 2014. Based on the hit series, the game follows your created character, a new kid, who moves into the town of South Park and becomes engrossed in an epic fantasy role-play adventure with the other kids of South Park. After customizing your character's looks, you pick classes ranging from Fighter, Mage, Thief, and Jew. As tempting as it was to see how the Jew class fared, I opted to play a Fighter as I just wanted to hit people really hard.

To put it simply, it's an engaging and fun game. To get the cons out of the way, the game didn't run smoothly, and I suffered performance issues regarding load times and immense lag at times. I blame that more on the fact that I played on the PS3 though I'm sure it would've run more smoothly on a different generation of consoles. I also believe that some of the writing and jokes are a little weak during some of the first half of the game. I love South Park and grew up watching it and still enjoy it to this day, but some of the humor at first wasn't doing anything for me.

However, as the game became more preposterous over time and went more over-the-top with its humor and concepts, it became a lot more hilarious to me. Combat-wise, Stick of Truth works off turn-based combat, and to get a successful hit on your opponents or block attacks, you need to have immaculate timing. My timing was shit most of the time, but I still managed to beat the hell out of other kids, animals, the homeless, and the plethora of other enemies presented throughout the game. You get to have a companion with you throughout the game as you battle with fan-favorite characters like Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Jimmy, Kenny, or Butters. Everyone has their own unique blend of moves and hilarious one-liners or otherwise, but I find Butters was the best companion with the most consistent, high-sustaining damage and landing significantly damaging attacks. The others have their uses, but honestly, I just stuck with Butters for almost the entire game.

The side missions were amusing as they went beyond typical fetch quests, allowing you to travel around the town to fight ridiculous enemies or find people hiding about. This game was tailor-made for South Park fans, full of references to storylines and iconic episodes from the seasons out at the time. I thought the game was good, but it wasn't elevated to greatness for me until about the section where you must travel to Canada. As an RPG fan, I prefer two other games I played this year, like Persona 5 or Final Fantasy X. But as a South Park Fan, this was a wild game I got to experience for the first time and reminiscing on old episodes on bits I haven't seen in years. One of these days I'll get to the sequel, The Fractured But Whole, and maybe even one day, that new attempt at the first-person shooter, Snow Day, releasing in 2024.

In short, Stick of Truth is a pretty great game somewhat for RPG fans and especially for South Park Fans. I'd say give it a try if you haven't already, but the game has also been out for almost ten years so there's a chance that you have played. I prefer other RPGS, but the care put into this? I gotta respect that. 4/5.

[youareinlove]

reacting to niall horan's new album as someone who has never intentionally listened to a niall horan song in my life:

warning: i write a lot

(ty to @thesunandstarss for the post that inspired this <3)

heaven- ok its boppy! great opening track honestly, i feel like it's setting the tone for the album in the sense that it's both very production-y and fun but also has some hard-hitting lines (it's hard to be a human???). it's the type of song that should be played over a slow-mo montage during a season finale

if you leave me- i don't have that many thoughts other than that it sounds like a 2010s song met a 2020s song in a perfect middle ground. also the sound of the song is making me think i was right in saying that the first track really set the tone for the album

meltdown- this hurt me both in my anxiety brain and in my inner english major brain. "hard to tell the real from the dreams you imagine" was a very different kind of relatable both because i've been the person who would be "singing" the song, telling the person that i'll be there when it all melts down, and the person who was...melting down.

never grow up- i knew i would like this one because i'm a speak now stan, but this was a cute song in a different way (hope we still dance like we're falling in love 😭). it's just a very sweet love song. this is probably my favorite so far actually.

the show- this song made me intensely uncomfortable and i haven't fully processed it yet which is how i know it was really good. this album has been very sonically cohesive so far, that's for sure.

you could start a cult- ngl this song is probably my least favorite so far but it wasn't bad by any means, just not really super memorable (to me anyway). maybe it'll grow on me over time, that's probably it actually. i did enjoy the harmonica in the background though.

save my life- it's also pretty boppy, and it also has the 2010s meets 2020s feel! i love the chorus noise at ~interstellar~

on a night like tonight- ayyy wildest dreams reference! and also heaven reference! i feel like if it were any other artist, this would've been the opening track, but i do like where it was put in the tracklist. it's also a really sweet song, and i love how the beat drops.

science- this song is sister songs with meltdown. it has a similar feel as the show too, mostly because of the way that the chorus does that thing where it sounds like it's going to be one thing and it ends up being another thing. but i really liked this song! i can totally see myself playing this next time i'm up at 4 am and having a teeny tiny breakdown (the world's too heavy to shine 😞)

must be love- ok so the beginning is very relatable, like, always, but especially right now. the song kind of reminds me of that one taylor quote that's like "i try to plan everything, but i like the idea that love is the one exception" (not an exact quote). also the wordplay with a college degree/a first degree burn! inner english major is screaming!

alright final thoughts: it's a nice, really sonically cohesive album! a couple of the songs are going to need to be listened to a few more times before i really get them, and i'm definitely going to schedule a little anxiety sesh to process the show tonight. my top three are never grow up (best song), meltdown, and must be love!

[mysticraven20]

Thank you for the tag @uptoolateart 💖 (I’ve never been tagged before, this is exciting!)

WIP REBLOG GAME

1. List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

2. An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

3. Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

4. Then tag 10 writer friends!

WIP TITLES

1. The Situationship - Adrien and Chat Noir are separated by an Akuma and causing chaos for Marinette. Chat Noir can’t be seen by anyone but her, and hasn’t got a clue who he is, and Adrien needs a plus one who is relatively normal and can make him look good at family events. Aged up au, Adrien never went to public school au.

2. Diagnosis: Yours - Based on artwork by @art-the-f-up Ex-Adrinette, no powers au. Adrien is a paediatric nurse who is caring for Marinette’s son. It’s crazy how oddly familiar Adrien and Hugo’s interests are.

3. A Masked Getaway - Ladynoir July 2024. Paris’ Mayor demands a peace period giving both Ladybug and Chat Noir a no expense spared opportunity for a break (on Paris of course) — even Monarch is grateful for the break considering he’s just been cataclysmed. Aged up but set during season 5, Marinette finds herself at a couples resort in Italy, alone. But that doesn’t last for long. A skinny dipping blond in her pool makes sure she has someone to keep her company…but what about the blond who has suddenly appeared next door? (Rough synopsis)

4. No ‘Ex’ Before Marriage - Christmas 2024 fic. Marinette was never good at running away, until the one time she was. Four years later, the death of someone important brings her back to Paris but with everyone carrying on with their lives, and the revealation of her ex-partner in crime, she finds it hard to fit back in. Can she decide what she wants more…her new life and fiancé? Or the ex she left behind all those years ago? (Rough synopsis)

5. Untitled Fic - 🤐

UPCOMING

1. This is pretty much fully edited now, but having Chat Noir commenting about Adrien has been one of the highlights of the fic. Here’s a snippet from the next chapter:

He’d wandered back to his favourite place, staring at Adrien Agreste, and was once again continuing his commentary about her new found friend. “Do you think Adrien botoxes his abs? There is no way that is natural. I heard this story once about a guy who used fake tan to draw on his own six pack. That must be what he does.”

2. I haven’t started the next chapter for Diagnosis: Yours yet… but I can’t wait to get to the reason why Marinette and Adrien split up (yes, of course it was Gabe), and of course Adrien and Hugo finally getting to bond.

3. Once again, A Masked is bringing you chaos with Ladynoir as the pain couple. It’ll mix quite a few tropes such as: faking dating/only one bed/identity shenanigans (on Chat Noir’s part) and, of course, kisses. Lots of kisses 😘

4. This is an unusually angsty fic for me, especially as a Christmas fic so it’s great to delve into something a little different. Here’s an unedited snippet:

She was so drained. The jet lag, the emotions, the arguments, the cold shoulders…she was just about done. When she’d left Paris, she hadn’t exactly had the best intentions — she just wanted to get out of there and separate her two lives.

She hadn’t realised how much that would have affected everyone else. Alya didn’t know what to say to her. Her one time best friend sat opposite her like an absolute stranger, unable to look at her or keep the conversation flowing. They didn’t know each other anymore. Four years really had torn them apart.

5. 🤐

I don’t have many people on here who haven’t already been tagged so I’ll tag @giuliafc

Happy writing everyone 💖

WIP Reblog Game

Thanks for the tag @wehadabondingmoment :)

I confess I haven't re-blogged just because the thread was getting long.

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends!

WIP TITLES - please do read tags for alllll of them

Where We Find Ourselves Again - Book 3 of my Breaking Free series, which started as my own S5 and then spiralled hard

Dreaming Wide Awake - Post-S5 fic focused on Adrien in the aftermath of the Wish - he really does need a hug

Finding a Way - Jurassic Park / Camp Cretaceous AU - Adrinette are stuck on an island, trying to survive, while evading dinosaurs

A Whole New World - Aladdin AU where Adrien is the 'princess' and Marinette is 'Aladdin' - I think the stars of the fic have turned out to be Gabriel and Plagg, a pairing that brought me endless amusement to write

All That Is Necessary - a Gone AU co-written with @raspberrycatapult - everyone aged 15+ has disappeared and the kids have to find a way to survive...then strange things start happening....

UPCOMING

I can't wait to start posting Breaking Free #4, so everyone can see just how far I've taken certain ideas posed earlier in the series. Also, I'm so looking forward to having Felix as a main POV character.

I've started planning out the details of Breaking Free #5. After that's all posted, I GET TO THINK ABOUT OTHER THINGS!!!

In the coming months, I'm going to focus on finishing my Nathalie backstory fic FINALLY. I'm currently fleshing out the details of my outline, right to the last chapter.

I'm also fleshing out my outline for a Felix backstory POV fic, like his side of the whole Miraculous story, including when he was a child. It will parallel the Nathalie story, so the two interact in places and you get multiple perspectives.

I've already thought up my fic idea for the 2024 ML Big Bang!

I can't think of 10 new people to tag. @wehadabondingmoment already stole mine haha

Wait! I lie. I don't remember seeing @mysticraven20!

[flightfoot]

You ever notice how a lot of miraculous salt against Adrien and Marinette is just two bad faith interps of the same narrative problem?

Narrative problem: Ladybug has to do all the work and come out the reigning champ, even when it doesn’t make sense for Cat Noir not to be more competent/helpful in these moments.

Bad faith interp 1: Cat Noir is incompetent, dumb and lazy. He always looks to Ladybug for help when things get sticky and rarely tries to offer ideas even when she is floundering. He’s just there to flirt and let her do all the work.

Which is so not true because Cat Noir makes sacrifices in battle all the time. He’s a smart dude. While it’s true that he likes to have a good time out there, character wise he would love love love to help Ladybug when she’s floundering. When the writers need him to have ideas or make a good move or call, they let him. He’s more than demonstrated that ability. They just nerf him when they need Ladybug to look a certain way and suddenly he’s goofing up in unbelievable ways or acting as if she is the only one who can think and neglecting to process things himself. Which comes off really inconsistent and is more a statement on the writing than it is on his character. He’s not the only victim. A lot of the other holders get nerfed for the ‘Ladybug must do everything’ narrative too. Like RIP to Scarabella’s chance to be awesome in hacksan. Speaking of,

Bad faith interp 2: Ladybug is an arrogant, power hungry girl who loves the attention and doesn’t allow others to shine. She shoots down others ideas and is determined to come out on top.

Which is so not true because, first of all, the writers rarely give the other holders actual agency to act or ideas for Ladybug to shoot down. Characters who would normally be full of ideas are suddenly all “What do we do now ladybug?! We can’t think for ourselves, Ladybug!” And she follows suit because what else are you gonna do? And the times when the writers do allow Cat Noir to have an idea or disagreement (happened a lot more in season 1. I think the writers were more about the team dynamic then) she’s… pretty cool about it? There were a couple times when she disagreed initially and then came around pretty quickly like when she wouldn’t listen to Chloe or in the giant baby episode but usually it’s “you’re right, cat noir!” “Great idea Chaton!” Ladybug gets unfairly secretive when she anticipates danger, but the ‘Ladybug is too arrogant to share her spotlight’ pov is hella exaggerated and it totally ignores the fact that characters who would normally jump at the chance to help or act often turn into mindless zombies around her. I’m still puzzled by that scene in the season 2 finale where she is clearly at a loss and everyone is just staring at her like “you’ll think of something!” The writers kind of created their own issue with the uber stressed Ladybug.

Maybe you haven’t but I seen both these takes and im not trying to make it a competition. I hate them both. Season 5 seems to be fixing things in part but it may be too late for the Saltdom…

Tldr: I guess it can be hard to distinguish, but I really wish people would stop blaming the characters for writing choices that reflect poorly on them. Especially when the character themselves haven’t indicated they would behave in this manner. It exhausts me. I try to curate the best I can but salt is everywhere around the Mira fandom.

Yeah agreed on this, both these takes ignore context, as well as what the writers are trying to say.

Oh yeah, as far as the "Ladybug is arrogant and power-hungry" thing goes, I agree with your take, and wanted to add onto it.

Ladybug ain't super arrogant or power-hungry. Heck, she'd prefer to not have quite so much pressure on her shoulders. She IS willing to listen to others ideas, though she will sometimes shoot them down. The reason she has so much spotlight is mostly due to the show revolving around her rather than her, as a character, trying to hog the spotlight.

I sort of see where this interpretation came from, since she doesn't really collaborate with others all that much, but that's less of an unwillingness to consider others ideas, and more it just not coming up very often. I would like to see Marinette have to work as part of a team at some point with someone else who is also used to being the team leader, with someone who's used to being the final authority on things, because I think that'd be a valuable experience for her and would inform the way she approaches the rest of the Miracuteam. But she definitely at least tries to listen to others when making plans.

[wearywinchester]

Been Loving You

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: After never having the nerve to tell each other how you feel, an opportunity presents itself even if it takes a little work.

Requested by Anonymous: Hi! Since your requests are on. Can you write a fluff/angst dean and reader fic, they both have feelings for each other and they're too insecure to admit it. And dean flirts with another girl and introduces her to the reader, reader acts like she's fine but then cries??

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: angst, flirting, mild heartbreak, jealousy, arguing, little bit of swearing, fluff, kissing

July, 2005

The day was breezy and warm, the clouds having lessened the heat that came with being in the midst of the summer season. Even if the clouds did nothing to stave off the effect of the sun you’d like to believe it actually had been, and you refused to think otherwise or else you just might break another sweat. You were tucked away in the middle of Bobby’s property amongst a lot full of cars ranging from totaled to rusty to salvageable should he feel like getting his hands dirty that day. He didn’t.

But one person that did was Dean Winchester.

You stood with your arms crossed over your chest, staring out over the dozens of car roofs, each one holding their own story as to just how it was they got there in the first place.

“Wrench,” Dean called out at some point, an instruction you only half heard. It was growing increasingly obvious that your mind was elsewhere, that your attention was directed at the puffy gray clouds in the distance. He’d noticed, peeking his head around the Impala from where’d he’d been working under the hood for an amount of time you lost track of. “Sweetheart, wrench.”

You turned your head at the nickname, a brief look of confusion crossing your face before you realized what it was he’d said. You rolled your eyes at the look on his face, one that softened to a smile as you handed over the wrench grasped in your hand. He took it with a shake of his head and a laugh not quiet enough for you to miss, and you breathed out a sigh.

“You’re a terrible helper, you know,” he jests, voice muffled from where he stood.

“Pretty sure I didn’t ask to help you, De,” you say, leaning back against an old truck.

“Too bad,” he says, flashing you a smile all while you furrowed your brows and pursed your lips at his words.

“Why not have Sam help you? I’m sure he knows more about cars than me.”

You heard him laugh again, head shaking at your assumption that Sam had any form of a clue on how to fix a car, let alone Dean’s car. The thought of Sam under a hood had him chuckling, the idea all too humorous. He pulled back to look at you. “First of all, he definitely wouldn’t. Second of all…”

He trails off, looking at you with a half smirk on his lips.

“What?” You inquire, amused curiosity in your tone.

“Sammy’s just not you,” he shrugs, a glimmer in his eyes as he leans back over the engine.

Your smile falls for just a moment as your heart skips a beat, that very smile returning once you realize just what it was that he had said. He’s just not you. You turned away and looked over your shoulder, a pitiful attempt to hide the way you couldn’t stifle your smile, your cheeks burning at what it was that could mean. Maybe it meant something and maybe it didn’t. But either way it’d surely be stuck on your mind for a ridiculous amount of time.

But soon your attention turns back to the very person that it’s always been on, and you were bound to be teased if he’d caught you staring but the thought didn’t sound quite so bad at that moment. In your defense, it was hard not to think about much else other than the way his brows furrow when he’s stumped on just what he wants to fix next, or the way his cheeks flushed ever so lightly under the sun, his freckles all the more prominent across the bridge of his nose. Smudges of grease had stained his t-shirt, painted across his knuckles and smeared on his forehead each and every time he’d wiped the sweat off with the back of his hand.

Maybe it was that, or maybe it was the way his necklace had dangled down and swung there until he finally got irritated enough to tuck it in his shirt with a mumble of a swear and a clench of his jaw. That was something, though—no matter how frustrated repairing this beloved car of his made him, no matter how much he huffed and puffed and tossed his tools down with a bit more force than necessary. It was the way his anger seemed to melt each time he’d looked at you, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile before he turned to try again with a better attitude.

Yeah, that was it.

You hadn’t realized just how distracted you’d been until you felt a hand on your cheek, calloused and warm, and when you looked up your eyes met the taunting green gaze of the older Winchester staring down at you. Your breath caught in your throat as the pad of his thumb brushed along your cheek, cheeks that burned under his palm and the way he’d been gazing had your heart pounding in your chest. Racing until you saw the familiar quirk pulling at his lips.

“Got a little somethin’ on your face,” he says, smiling an all too knowing smile.

You roll your eyes, turning away from him with a huff as you begin to walk away. “I’m eating the last slice of pie for that.”

You heard the metallic clink of a tool leave his hand and hit the ground, “no—no you’re not! That has my name on it and you know it.”

You shake your head as you quicken your pace, a smile on your lips as the butterflies in your stomach remain.

October, 2005

You stood in the small, one person bathroom, back to the mirror as you leaned against the small porcelain sink. The tears were already rimming your eyes as you stood there, having been at that same restaurant for forty-five minutes waiting for your date to show up even though you knew it’d been a bust after you’d waited the first fifteen minutes. You were miserable and embarrassed, and this was the exact reason you didn’t like going on dates in the first place.

Your hand was shaky as you pressed Dean’s name, holding your phone up to your ear as it rang all but two times.

He’d make a joke when he answered the phone, something you more than expected by that point each and every time you called him, especially when he knew you were on a date with a guy he’d been poking fun at the whole ride to the restaurant until he’d dropped you off. You couldn’t blame him, maybe you could, but that was just in his nature and there was no changing that.

“Was brown eyes that boring?”

His laugh sounded on the other end, lighthearted and upbeat in a way that had a soft huff leaving your lips as you rolled your eyes at his words.

“Dean,” you grumble, letting your eyes fall closed for a moment.

“Oh, come on. You know I’m not wrong. I just—”

“Dean.”

The simple use of his name that time had effectively cut him and his teasing short, leaving a beat of silence as you swallowed thickly now that you had his full attention. You didn’t even need to see him to be able to picture just what kind of expression he’d been wearing at the moment.

“Can you come pick me up?”

You hated how fragile your voice sounded, something you immediately cover up as you clear your throat in a pitiful attempt to distract him from it. You knew it wouldn’t but it was worth the effort anyway, anything to ease the fact that it must have been obvious that you were hurting.

It’d been all of ten minutes before the rumble of an engine came into earshot as you sat on the curb that bordered the restaurant, gathering more than a few stares of people showing up with their dates in tow. You knew it must have been obvious what you were moping about. The headlights were near blinding as he pulled up next to you, and you were on your feet in an instant as you sulked to the car and slumped in your rightful seat. Your misery was more than evident to him as he sat in the parking lot for a minute much to your dismay.

“Are you okay?” He asks, louder than he meant to be as he gave you a once over.

“Peachy.”

He rolls his eyes. “Are you hurt?”

“Just my ego,” you mumble with a huff, though you soften at the concern sounding in his voice. “‘M fine, Dean.”

His jaw tensed as he looked at you, lingering on the glimmer on your cheeks from the fresh tears you’d tried to wipe away. At the way your bottom lip quivered in a way that was all too telling that you weren’t peachy, you couldn’t be farther from it.

He hadn’t even wanted you to go on that date in the first place, jealousy having simmered in the pit of his stomach since the moment you told him about it. He didn’t even need to see the guy to know he wasn’t good enough for you, that he was up to no good. He hated the tone of your voice when you called him, he hated that he was right. Not that he thought he was good enough for you, not even remotely did he think that, but when you told him about brown eyes, he wanted to be selfish and have you to himself for the night. He wanted to be the one to take you out on that date.

“He’s a dick,” he said quietly, anger woven around his words as he looked at you. “And he damn sure doesn’t deserve you.”

You looked down at your lap, picking at the loose string of your dress. “Can we please go?”

He looked at you as you went and looked out of the window, jaw clenching even tighter as he gave you one more glance. He put the car in drive without another word, tires squealing as he sped out of the parking lot, headed back towards the motel.

March, 2006

The sticks cracked beneath two pairs of muddied boots, the sound near deafening in contrast to the silence amongst the woods you and Dean had found yourself in. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if you knew where you’d been going even just a little bit, and it wouldn’t have been quite so bad if the sun wasn’t dipping lower and lower into the sky. Not to mention the fact that Dean was simmering in his own anger, and you were fairly certain that you were the cause. In fact, you knew you were.

The light rain that sprinkled over you ever so slightly through the trees hadn’t done very much to work in your favor, though you don’t think anything could at this point. Especially not the scrape grazing your cheek.

“Would you quit huffing? We’ll find a way out of here,” you finally say, nearly smacking into his back when he stops in front of you.

“Right, because we’re totally not stuck in the middle of freakin’ nowhere. If it weren’t for you we’d be out of here by now,” he snaps, brows furrowed deeply as he looks down at you.

“Oh, so this is my fault now?”

He laughed then, humorless as he looked away and shook his head, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. You knew he was dangerously close to snapping, more than he already did, but even then you couldn’t find it in yourself to tread lightly.

“If I recall correctly, it was your brilliant plan to go and run off and chase a werewolf all by yourself in the woods. You went and got yourself hurt and you nearly got yourself killed. That seems a lot to me like how we got into this mess, doesn’t it, Y/n?”

“Dean—”

“You’re lucky you only came out of there with a scrape on your cheek and a busted lip.”

Your brows knit together and your fists clench, nearly on the verge of tears with how frustrated you’d been at the green eyed Winchester fuming in front of you. “Why are you so mad? I’m here aren’t I?”

He looked as if you’d asked the most ridiculous question he’s ever heard in his life. “Mad? Why am I so mad? You went out there today like you’re invincible. I’m angry because I—”

He cut himself short then, shaking his head as he looked away from you. Those three words were so close on the tip of his tongue he nearly made a fool of himself, his heart pounding and a huff puffing through flared nostrils as you nearly watched him unravel in front of you. The crease between your brows deepens as you watch his inner turmoil, fists relaxing at your sides.

“Forget it,” he says, just as frustrated as he plays it off and looks down at you just briefly. His jaw clenches once more before he hikes his bags up further in his shoulder, grabbing your hand and turning his back to you. “Can’t have you getting lost on me again.”

You roll your eyes but not once did you pull your hand from his.

July, 2006

Your eyes rolled for what had to be the millionth time that night as you slumped further down in your seat, your eyes lingering on the older Winchester and the girl he’d been flirting with at the bar counter for the last half an hour. Sam had caught on to the source of your misery not long after it began, but between the pout you tried so desperately to hide and the way it started right around the time his brother started talking to the pretty girl serving drinks just a few feet away, it wasn’t hard to figure out.

“Am I boring you?” Sam jests, closing the book of notes and newspaper clippings he’d been working from for the next hunt. Your gaze lifts from the table to meet his gaze, unamused by his teasing. “You know, instead of sulking, you could tell him how you feel.”

You snort as you sit up in your seat, dragging your hand down your face. “Sam, that might be the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.”

“Oh, come on. Would it be so bad?”

One glance over your shoulder had your stomach churning and twisting in knots, your gaze moving back to the brunette with the bad ideas. “Yes Sam, it would be terrible.”

The more you sat at that table the less you wanted to be there, the music having grown far too loud for your liking as a headache began to form. This wasn’t the first or the second time you’d been to this bar, it was the third because Dean had eyes for the beautiful bartender. Your food was nearly completely untouched and your drink the same, though you were starting to think it might be a good idea to go ahead and down it but there wasn’t nearly enough time to do that and get another argument in with Sam before that ever familiar voice got your attention.

“Everyone,” he starts, smiling ear to ear as his arm wrapped around her. “I’d like you to meet Julie.”

His grin was beaming as she laughed into his neck, whispering something in his ear that you surely didn’t want to know. Sam’s smile in your direction was as empathetic as ever, your heart sinking down to your stomach as you swirl your straw in your drink. The room was rapidly becoming more suffocating and stuffy, the commotion near nauseating as the pressure behind your eyes deepened. You couldn’t be there another moment.

“I’m feeling a little tired, I—I think I’m gonna go,” you say as you swallow down the lump in your throat, sudden as you rise from your seat and grab your bag.

The smile on Dean’s face fell slightly, brows furrowing. “You okay?”

“‘M fine,” you say, offering a smile as you brush past the pair in favor of making your way to the door.

The outside air, though not very much cooler than the bar, felt better on your skin as you clutched the strap of your bag. The tears that welled in your eyes wasted no time in spilling over your cheeks now that you were alone, lip quivering pitifully as the hurt in your heart seeped out in waves and made your tears fall faster. They rolled down your heated cheeks and raced along the length of your neck, gathering on the collar of your shirt one after another.

Falling in love with your best friend doesn’t seem so bad until it breaks your heart.

September, 2006

Of all the people to be trapped in a storm with, Dean Winchester isn’t one you’d wanted it to be. The rain had been coming down so hard you could barely see the Impala parked outside the motel room. The wind whipping around had cut the power, effectively stealing your chances of busying yourself with some tv to take your mind off of anything other than the man you shared a room with.

Locking yourself in the bathroom would certainly be an option you’d weighed over more than once in your mind, but the thought of sitting alone in a small room with absolutely no source of light hadn’t been something that enticing to you. The only light in the motel room was the frequent flash of lightning and Dean’s flashlight before the batteries died.

“When’s this storm supposed to die down?” He asked from his bed, getting up to peek out through the blinds.

“Why? You late for a date with Julie?”

It’s quiet for a few moments, the blinds snapping back once he lets go of them and you could feel his stare on you as you looked up at the ceiling from your spot on your bed. Your jaw clenched as another flash of lightning illuminated the room, a booming crack of thunder soon to follow it. You were just waiting for what he had to say.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” There it was.

“I think it’s pretty clear,” you say, tone as witty as it’d been for the last who-knows-how-long.

“We broke up a month ago, Y/n. ‘M surprised you don’t already know that. You know, since you’re the know it all of the friendship.”

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see you, a huff falling past your lips. “Quit it, Dean.”

“What is your problem, Y/n? You’ve been actin’ funny for weeks and it’s driving me crazy. You’re taking every chance you get to get away from me,” he says, anger woven around his every word as his voice raises over the thunder.

“I can’t exactly do that right now,” you say, rolling over on your side as you avoid his question and turn your back to him instead.

You heard him laugh to himself, one void of humor as the springs of his mattress squeak under his weight as he sat down. Your jaw tenses once more as you huff through your nose, loud enough for him to hear as you tried your best to make yourself comfortable for the night.

The emotions clouding your mind were bound to boil over at some point before the night is over now that you’d been stuck with the source of your heartache and you weren’t sure if you’d rather stay or walk through the downpour coming down outside. The more you thought on it, the more you thought better of it despite how tempting it may have been.

The simple sight of him had tugged at your heart, making you think of just how foolish it was to fall for your best friend, or perhaps even more so that you hadn’t told him before. You couldn’t get Sam’s words out of your head no matter how hard you tried. If Sam of all people thinks you should have then maybe it wouldn’t have been a bad idea to put your heart on the line. Maybe you should’ve said it, you certainly had plenty of opportunities to do it. But it didn’t matter anymore, not really, your heart was heavy and your mind was heavier as you sulked and moped in your own misery.

You pushed away your own best friend and it was time you’d never get back, all because you had feelings you couldn’t swallow down. But they were always there, and now they’d gone and boiled over.

“You wanna know why it didn’t work out between us?” He asks, sudden as his question cuts through the quiet in the room save for the ongoing storm. You don’t say a word, laying still as your gaze is fixed on the wall and your back remains to him. You don’t know what he could possibly say or what it was supposed to make you feel but you couldn’t find it in yourself to press for an answer. If he told you, fine, but if he didn’t—

“It didn’t work because she wasn’t you.”

You stilled even more if that was possible, your heart skipping more than a few beats as your brows furrow. You were utterly baffled, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly or if it was some dream you’d been having that you were bound to wake up from. Your movement was sudden as you sat up and turned around, the faint bit of light illuminating the expression you held.

“What?”

He sat across from you on the edge of his bed, brows knit together in the dim lighting. He laughed softly as he looked at his hands, shaking his head. He stood to his feet and ran his hands through his hair, pacing a bit before he stood still.

“You’re my best friend, Y/n. You’re a pain in the ass, sure, but you’re my best friend,” he starts, your lips pursing as he cracked a smile. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it lately, I really don’t. But I’ve been lovin’ you since I was sixteen and it took me ten years and a month full of you ignoring me to see it. She’s not you, Y/n.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He laughed softly, rubbing his face and releasing a sigh.

“Because, my life isn’t exactly a chick flick where the guy gets the girl of his dreams, is it, sweetheart? It’s more of a tragic Lifetime movie where the guy’s best friend falls for someone else,” he says, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he looked at his feet.

You swallowed thickly as you looked at him, cheeks burning and stomach filled with butterflies that raged in your stomach. You were at a loss for words as you sat there, starting to wonder for the second time that night if what you were hearing was a dream. Dean Winchester, your best friend, the one you’d spend the better part of ten years pining after, was in love with you. You couldn’t grasp that thought. Not that you had much time to before he spoke up.

“Sweetheart, please say something. I know you’re mad at me but right now I’m starting to feel a little bit like a complete idiot and I—”

Before he could finish you’d already stood to your feet and grabbed the collar to his leather jacket, your lips on his without second thought. It took him by surprise for just a moment before his hands settled on your face, his smile pressing into your lips. You pulled away for just a second, his lips lingering over yours in hopes you wouldn’t stray too far. You wouldn’t, just enough for you to say one more thing.

“You are an idiot.”

He huffed out a soft laugh as his breath brushed warmly against your lips, hands dropping from your face in favor of pulling you closer before he dipped down and kissed you again.

—

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