#sj fic

[skijumpingf1]

Messy (D. Prevc x L. Kos)

I really got inspired by them lately and I couldn’t not write about them so here you go. This is probably one of the fastest and most fun things I have written lately (it took me less than 2 days). Anyway, this is set after Domen wins the world championship. Just to give you guys a heads up, there is sexual content in this. Not too heavy and the graphic part is restricted to foreplay but sex is mentioned.

Wordcount: 2090

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Domen is buzzing still with energy when they get back to their hotel from the medal plaza. How could he not? He just became world champion. World champion in ski jumping and not even ski flying. Domen fears that the grin will stay on his face for the rest of his life. The medal hangs light around his neck when he enters Lovros and his room. They have been staying in this room for the whole championship, and it shows. There are more than two piles of dirty clothes on the floor and there is random stuff everywhere. Lovros reserve charger is hooked up to Domen’s outlet and spread across their bed. Domens' books lay on the floor next to the door. He doesn't even know why but they have been there since Monday and he knows where he can step and where not to avoid them. 

He spots Lovro already sitting in the chair at the desk. Of course you could barely call the desk a desk anymore, it is more like a pile of ski jumping equipment. The team was at the medal ceremony, he thinks. It was hard to spot anyone in the big crowd. But obviously they could leave way earlier than Domen. Not that Domen wanted to leave. He wanted to soak it all up. The fans, the journalist and Nika. That Nika got her gold medal on the same day, just minutes before him, makes this all even better. 

“Welcome back, Champ.”, Lovro speaks up when Domen closes the door behind him. First thing he does is slip out of his shoes before he looks at his teammate. “Oh, please don't call me Champ.” Lovro smirks at him. “Nope. You are champ from now on.” “You never called Timi that.”, he complains but can't help but smile even wider. He really is the world champion. Still feels surreal to even think about it. “Well, Timi was bragging too much about it. You will go over to business as usual tomorrow, maybe the after tomorrow. As your roommate it's my responsibility to remind you how awesome you are.” Domen throws his head back and starts to laugh. Because there is no way he will ever go back to business as usual. “You didn't really know me in 2016, and it shows.” “You always say it's a blessing.” Because it is. Domen was a total brat back then. He listened to no one, not Peter, not Cene and not his coach. The wins made him arrogant. For his personal development it was good that he stopped succeeding eventually. He got humbled.

Domen sits down on their bed. Unsure what to do now. There are a billion messages on his phone, he knows. Between the competition and the medal ceremony he checked and replied to the most important ones. He should answer all the other texts too, but it feels so unglamorous. Domen doesn't normally enjoy parties but today he has to celebrate. He just became world champion. When should he party when not now? “Can I see the medal?” Domen's thoughts get interrupted by his roommate who stands up from the chair. “You have the same medal from the team competition.”, Domen replies. Lovros and his medals should be somewhere on the desk too, right in between the mess they made. “No, it's different. This one is for the individual. It's more special.” With that the slightly younger one is standing right in front of Domen. Their knees are touching and Lovro looks down to him. Personal space has been non-existent for them since the first weekend they shared a room together. His hair is slightly wet, Domen notices. He must have showered when he got back to the hotel room. “It's not more special, Lovro.” Sure, winning the team gold felt different but not in a bad way. The wins are both special in their own way. Winning with his team felt incredible. The shared joy still radiates through him when he looks at his teammates. Today felt more satisfying. Reliving. Maybe it is the payback for all the other times where he did not perform. 

Lovro picks up the medal from Domen’s chest and Domen shutters when his teammates fingers brush lightly over his thin hoodie. With his thumb Lovro strokes over the golden snowflake. The medal is right in front of his eyes and Domen follows every movement from Lovro with his gaze. „How does it feel?” Lovros' voice is quiet. Very unlike the normal Lovro, who tends to be loud. Domen clears his throat. “Not going to lie, it feels pretty awesome.” Lovro takes his eyes from the medal and looks in Domens eyes. “I bet.”, he says with a smirk on his face. He places the medal back on Domen’s chest but not without giving it a light pat. And then he steps away from Domen. The heat from the younger one is gone instantly. Domen watches as he picks up his phone. He rolls his eyes. Typical Lovro. Always on his phone. “The others asked me if you would be down for a drink at the hotel bar?” “Why are they asking you?” Lovro can't help but laugh. “Because I am always on my phone, and you are never on your phone. So? Are you down for a drink?”, he wiggles his eyebrows. Domens sighs and stands up. “Of course.” He begins to take off the medal but gets interrupted by his teammate. “No. The medal suits you. Wear it.” With a frowned face he lowers the medal again. “Isn't it stupid?” “Not too me.” 

One drink turns into a few. In the end it was more like one glass of sparkling wine and two beers. Still not too much but they are ski jumpers. Both of them are a bit tipsy when they get back to their room shortly after midnight. “I hope you win more titles.”, Lovro says when he enters the bathroom to brush his teeth. “Shouldn't you be hoping that you win titles?” Domen takes his medal off and puts it carefully on his nightstand. One of the few places in the room where he wouldn't lose it. Maybe he should have given Nika the medal. She would never lose his gold medal and would take better care of it. Lovro comes out of the bath and leans against the doorframe, toothbrush in his hand. “It's the way you smile today. So bright. Completely real and absolutely not forced. I have never seen you smile like this before and it almost makes me sad because it suits you so well.” Domen opens his mouth and closes it again. With big eyes he looks after Lovro, who returns into the bathroom again. What the hell? What does he reply to that? 

He is still standing beside the bed when his roommate comes back and starts to change. As if he didn't just say that. Domen shakes his head. If he can ignore it, Domen can too. It is his turn in the bath then. Domen’s cheeks are red when he looks in the mirror. He doesn't know if it's from the alcohol or from Lovros words. With one hand he splashes a bit of cold water in his face, trying to get the redness to disappear. 

When he gets back to the bedroom, Lovro is sitting in the chair again. Legs loosely put on top of the desk. The team clothes are replaced with a white shirt and grey sweatpants. He is speaking to someone over his phone. Probably his mom, Domen thinks. She sometimes works night shifts so it's not too uncommon that they call each other that late. “Congrats from my mom.”, confirms Lovro his suspicion. “Say thank you to her.” From somewhere under his bed, he grabs his sleep shirt, which is basically his team wear just with a small hole on the side. He strips out of his hoodie and throws it somewhere behind him. When he hears his name through Lovros phone he turns around to face his teammate. Lovros eyes are on him. He lets his gaze wander slightly over his naked upper body. “Yes, he is unbelievable.”, he replies to his mom. Domen swallows hard. He returns the favor and checks his teammate out. His hair is messy, but it always is. Last year in Planica he got a chance to let his hand run through it. Back then it was more a publicity thing when he spotted the cameramen. Since then, he resisted the urge to fix Lovros' soft hair more than once. “I am sorry mom, but we have an early flight. It is bedtime for me.” Domen barely has time to register that the call has ended before Lovro is up on his feet. Like it is a reflex, Domen moves forward to the younger one. Lovro hesitates for a second before he wraps an arm around Domens naked waist and pulls him against his chest. Domen feels his body reaction instantly. The way his heart beats faster, how the part where Lovro and him are touching feels electric. He looks up to his teammate. Their eyes meet. “We shouldn't. It's too messy.”, he speaks up, but he knows he won't be able to resist the urge. “We blame it on the alcohol.”, is Lovros reply. His eyes wander to Lovros lips. Within seconds he can feel Lovros lips on his. He wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him closer. Inside Domen something explodes. The feeling of kissing Lovro is addicting. Lovro lets his hand wander over to Domens back and shoulders. A soft moan escapes him when Domen uses his tongue. God they should have done this sooner. They wasted almost a whole season where they could have done this. 

Lovro pushes Domen against the back of their bed. For a second, they part their lips. Domen breathes heavily and rests his forehead against Lovros. Their eyes meet. The light eyes of Lovro are wide and full of lust. Domen takes Lovros hand and pulls them onto the bed. He tugs on the hem of Lovro's shirt. “Same right for everyone.” His voice sounds raspy and out of breath. “Fair.” The other one is pulling his shirt over his head. The first time their upper bodies make contact; Domen can't help but moan. Lovro laughs and lets his hand glide over Domens abs. “Who knew you could sound like this.” As an answer he kisses him again. Lovros' back feels hard against his hands, but his skin is soft. Lovro is pressing gentle kisses to his jaw and Domen throws his head back. He lets his hand glide in Lovros' hair like he craved some many times. It still feels unbelievably soft between his fingers. His teammate slides his knee in between his legs to make more room for him. “We should definitely free you of these jeans.” “And you from your sweatpants.” With a fast movement Lovro opens his jeans. Thank God because they are getting tight. He lets Lovro take them off, who sits up a bit. “God, you are so perfect.” Domen brushes through his hair again and kisses him softly. “You are perfect.” He slips one of his hands into Lovros sweatpants. This time it is Lovro who can't resist moaning. “Do you have a condom?” If they would continue, he wouldn't care anymore. Better to settle this now when he at least can still think a bit. “Yes, I will be right back.” “You carry around condoms?”, Domen asks when Lovro stands up from the bed after he pressed a small kiss on Domen’s neck. “Yes, you never know what will happen. You don't?” “No?” Lovro laughs and steps back to the bed with a condom in his hand. He throws it on the bed before he pulls down his sweatpants and his boxers all in one go. 

Sex with Lovro is easy. They know each other, they can tell instantly if the other one likes or dislikes something. Sex with Lovro is also hilarious. Domen found out that Lovro is ticklish and can't help himself. The laugh from the younger one is music to Domens ears. Sex with Lovro is intense. More intense than it should be for a first time. It scares Domen a bit when they lay next to each other in the dark after they cleaned themselves up. Lovros body pressed into his side, hands intertwined on his stomach. It felt too good. Too intimate. 

[sketchyorsomething]

Btw guys, I've got a new part of my Lellinger series! You can check it out on Ao3 with this link or just read it below the cut.

As always, thank you so much @skijumpingf1 for beta-reading it

The Ground beneath my Feet

Feburary 2025

 

„Do we need anything else for the training camp, love?“, Stephan hoped Andi had heard him in the kitchen, „I've also packed your book, if you maybe want to read a little?“

„Sounds good!“, Andi yelled from the kitchen. He definitely didn't hear Stephan’s entire question. Well, he's not gonna look for anything else to pack.

Stephan closed the suitcases and took a step towards the window. It had rained quite a lot in the last days, most of the snow had already melted. Stephan hated it. It felt like the winter was already over. He tried to look away, moving his gaze to the unmade bed.

He sighed.

„Lunch's ready, my dear!“, Andi stopped Stephan's bad attempt at distracting himself. Thank God. It hadn't helped anyways.

 

„Oh, that smells nice, thank you love", Stephan placed a small kiss on Andi's cheek.

„No problem“, he grinned in return.

Stephan rested his head in the crook of Andi's neck, wrapping his arms around him. Andi followed suit. He then lifted Stephan's head a little, smiling oh so softly before breathed a kiss onto his lips.

Stephan felt his cheeks heating up. Andi's smile widened.

He kissed him again.

Stephan hid his head again, smiling against Andi's collarbone. Andi's hands felt warm on his hips. He heard his heart beating steadily inside his chest.

Stephan took a breath, trying to come up with the right words. He cut himself off, not daring to destroy the atmosphere.

Andi looks so happy right now. Calm. He hasn’t been this calm in what feels like ages. The time Stephan had to spend abroad and away from him did put a strain on Andi.

Sevi had called him one night (it was early in the morning for Stephan) talking about his worries concerning Andi. Apparently, they had a talk that late in the night and Andi seemed really crushed.

He still hasn’t talked to Stephan about it.

“Is everything okay, my dear?”, Andi’s touch on his chin was lighter than that of a feather. Like he was too delicate, too fragile; like he was something to he needed to be cautious with. Stephan wished for the touch to be an actual grip. He already felt like he was floating, it’d be nice to feel grounded once again.

He felt that wish too deep in his bones. Being grounded, bound to the earth, not feeling like he was falling into an endless pit of air.

Andi gave up on waiting for a respond, it seemed. “I love you, okay?”, he mumbled as he drew Stephan into another embrace.

Maybe that’s good. Stephan wasn’t sure if he could deal with another glance full of knowledge. Knowledge and fear. Sadness and love. It should make it a lot easier to tell Andi if he already anticipates it, but it would make the decision real. He’d stop falling, once and for all. But Andi won’t; and maybe that’s why it feels like a problem.

“Please, let’s eat”, Stephan loosened the hug. “The food will get cold.”

 

 

“Home sweet home”, Andi sighed as they moved into their hotel room. The rooms themselves seemed to be built the same in the entire hotel. This room didn’t differ at all from the room they had for the for hills in Oberstdorf, or the one they had last year. (Or the one Andi had to stay in for skiflying, when Stephan didn’t make the team).

Stephan closed his eyes. Now or never. They'll have the entire evening to themselves to sort everything out. And Stephan needs to tell somebody, and Andi will forever be the first person he approaches for tough decisions.

„Andi, love", he perked up from the pile of clothes he already created, as he ‚unpacked'. „This will be my last training camp, my last championships". He didn't dare open his eyes.

Stephan could hear Andi breathe in the quiet room. „I'm sorry", he said.

Andi came closer, just a few steps and he was probably standing right in front of Stephan. He opened his eyes, looking to his and Andi's feet.

Andi grabbed his right hand and ever so slowly brought it upwards. He pressed a kiss into his palm. Stephan now watched him closely. He wished Andi would say something, anything to break the silence. But time seemed to have come to an abrupt halt.

Andi lowered their joined hands and reached for his other one. Standing in this little hotel room, holding hands, that's when Andi began to smile with love in his eyes. „I already knew", he said, no accusation in his voice. „Or, well- I suspected it already. Your behaviour at the four hills was weird". He looked away from Stephan, as he tried to remember every detail.

„I didn't even know it yet, back then", Stephan realized.

Andi looked at him in confusion, and chuckled. His left hand let go of Stephan's, slowly lifting it upwards to caress his cheek. „I love you, Stephan“

„I love you too, Andi", Stephan smiled.

Andi now cradled his face in both of his hands. He stepped closer. Stephan's smile widened.

And then, Andi finally kissed him.

Way to innocent, way to softly for Stephan's liking. Andi shouldn't have to be cautious with Stephan.

So, Stephan kissed back, with much more fervor. Andi hummed into the kiss. He needed this kiss to make himself feel again, feel the ground beneath his feet. He hasn't felt this security in too long. But now, he finally landed from his flight, safely, on both of his feet. Unexpected, for how much he lost the control over it. In Andi's arms however, there is no space to fall, other than against his body.

Andi ended the kiss, much to Stephan's disappointment, and smiled at Stephan, love and sorrow in his eyes. His thumb wiped away a tear from his cheek. Stephan hadn't realized he was crying. He tried to blink the tears away. Because, really, it felt more liberating than sad. It was just a lot.

So, he hid his face against Andi's neck, placing soft feathery kisses along his throat. He felt Andi's chuckle-turned-sigh deep in his bones. The hand in his hair pulled a little at the strands.

„How about we actually talk about it, dear?“, Andi asked after he positioned their hands in a way that they could look at each other. „And trust me, I hate being the responsible one here right now.“ They laughed together, forheads lightly tapping together. Stephan couldn't help himself but close the small gap between their mouths again, giving Andi a small peck on his smiling lips. They breathed together for a moment before Andi took his hand into his own again and pulled him onto the bed.

 

He sat criss-crossed in front of Stephan now, his full focus on his face. „Okay, so, uh-", he ran his hand through his hair. God, Andi really needed to see a hairdresser again, his hair has gotten quite long. The gesture didn't help make it neater. Stephan grinned at the thought. „Do you have a plan already on what you want to do?“

„I'll need to draw", Stephan smiled. He hadn't realized how much he had missed it. „I'll figure everything else out another day. We will figure it out, love.“. He reached for Andi's hands. „I won't leave you alone“, Stephan added, just for good measure.

Andi's smile widened, a blush covering his cheeks. „I know, Stephan, I know"

[wie-sagt-man-noch]

Adore You - Lellingerfic

Stephan hat Geburstag und wenn das kein Grund ist, einen Lellingershot zu posten, weiß ich auch nicht.

(Es ist ungelogen 4 Jahre her, seit ich die beiden das letzte Mal geschrieben habe sob)

Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan. Oder: Wer adored hier eigentlich wen? (FF) (ao3)

Die Tür des Hotelzimmers fällt mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss. Er atmet tief ein und hat seine Augen geschlossen, während er sich mit hinter dem Rücken verschränkten Armen an die Türe lehnt. Der ganze Trubel, der gerade noch um ihn herum geherrscht hat, ist verstummt. Stattdessen nimmt ihn eine wohlige Stille in Empfang. Die vielen Fragen der Reporter, die am Ende doch die immergleichen waren, 4,8 Punkte Rückstand vor dem letzten Springen, beunruhigt Sie das? Spüren Sie den Druck, nachdem Sie auf Platz 2 in der Gesamtwertung gerutscht sind, nun deutlicher? hallen nur noch leise in seinem Kopf nach. Andreas atmet noch einmal tief ein und langsam wieder aus, dann öffnet er seine Augen und sieht, dass das Nachtlicht im Schlafbereich angeschaltet ist. Schnell schlüpft er aus seinen Schuhen und lässt seine Jacke achtlos auf den Boden fallen, auch wenn er weiß, dass Stephan später seine Augen verdrehen wird, wenn er das Chaos sieht. In wenigen Schritten ist er im Hauptbereich ihres Hotelzimmers angelangt, wo sein Zimmerpartner mit einem Buch in der Hand in ihrem gemeinsamen Bett liegt. Der Anblick von Stephan, wie er in einem – seinem – ausgewaschenen Shirt und einer schwarzen Jogginghose mit dem Rücken an der Wand lehnt und die Beine entspannt übereinander geschlagen hat, sorgt dafür, dass Andreas' Herz unbeholfen und voller Zuneigung in seiner Brust stolpert.

„Hey“, grüßt Stephan ihn, während er sein Buch zur Seite legt und ihn mit einem warmen Lächeln, was seine Grübchen zum Vorschein bringt, willkommen heißt. Anstatt zu antworten, überbrückt Andreas den Abstand zwischen ihnen, lässt sich neben ihn sinken und umarmt ihn kurzerhand. Die Position ist nicht ideal, aber das stört ihn nicht. Sein Kopf ruht zwischen Stephans Halsbeuge und Brust und wenn er sich etwas streckt, berührt seine Nasenspitze Stephans Hals, während er seinen rechten Arm so gut es geht um den warmen Körper seines Freundes geschlungen hat. Stephans Brust vibriert, als dieser leise lacht und seinen freien Arm ebenso um ihn legt. Fest und warm spürt er die Hand seines Freundes auf seinem Rücken und kann das zufriedene Brummen nicht zurückhalten, während er seine Augen abermals schließt.

„Rutsch mal n' bisschen rüber“, sagt Stephan ruhig, aber bestimmt, während er versucht, seinen rechten Arm unter Andreas hervorzuziehen. Andreas nimmt das zum Anlass, sich noch weiter auf ihn zu schieben, sodass er letztlich komplett auf ihm liegt.

Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass ihm Körperkontakt wichtig ist – dass er ihn aber regelrecht braucht, um sich nach einem anstrengenden Wettkampftag zu sammeln, überrascht ihn selbst immer wieder. Immer, wenn alles um ihn herum laut wird, er im Mittelpunkt des Geschehens steht und ein Interview nach dem anderen gibt, ertappt er sich dabei, wie in ihm die Sehnsucht nach einem Ruhepol aufkommt. Nach jemandem, der ihn im Hier und Jetzt hält, auf den er seinen ganzen Fokus richten kann. Dass er in Stephan eine Person gefunden hat, die genau das für ihn ist, lässt sein Herz noch immer höher schlagen. Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan.

Der hat inzwischen seine frei gewordene Hand in Andreas' Haaren vergraben und massiert mit den Fingerspitzen sacht seinen Kopf. Mit jeder Bewegung spürt Andreas, wie die Anspannung des Tages Stück für Stück von ihm abfällt. Er selbst festigt den Griff um seinen Freund und konzentriert sich voll und ganz auf das wohlige Gefühl, das sich in ihm ausbreitet.

Andreas hat jegliches Zeitgefühl verloren, als er schließlich langsam blinzelnd seine Augen öffnet, den Kopf hebt und aufsieht. Stephans Blick ist noch immer unglaublich warm. Seine dunklen Augen beobachten ihn aufmerksam, während sich feine Fältchen um diese herum gebildet haben. Die Muttermale auf seiner Wange tanzen, als sich ein liebevolles Lächeln auf seine Lippen legt und sich eine feine Röte auf seinem Gesicht ausbreitet. Auch nach so langer Zeit wirkt er noch immer ungläubig und etwas peinlich berührt, wenn Andreas seinen Blick nicht von ihm abwenden kann.

„Hey“, murmelt Andreas schließlich und räuspert sich, weil seine Stimme rauer klingt, als sie es sein sollte. Er schiebt sich etwas nach oben und drückt Stephan einen federleichten Kuss auf den Mundwinkel.

Stephans Blick ruht interessiert auf ihm, „alles okay?“

Andreas hält inne und hört in sich hinein – aber außer Entspannung und Ruhe ist da nichts mehr. Keine Stimmen, kein Trubel. Er nickt schließlich. „Ja“, lautet die schlichte Antwort. Stephans Mundwinkel zucken leicht. Andreas weiß, dass dieser jetzt am liebsten noch einmal nachhaken würde, sich das aber verkneift. Deswegen schiebt er ein „wirklich, ich fühl' mich gut“ hinterher und rutscht schließlich von Stephan hinunter, bis er dicht neben ihm sitzt. Seine Hand hat die seines Freundes dabei fest umschlossen, während Andreas ihn vorsichtig anlächelt.

„Ohne dich wär's heute zu viel gewesen“, gibt er schließlich zu, „deswegen danke, dass du da bist. Das alles geht nur, weil du da bist.“ Seine Stimme ist fest und er weiß, dass es kitschig klingt, aber letztlich ist es nur eine Feststellung. Andreas weiß, wie es sich anfühlt, wenn Stephan nicht an seiner Seite ist. Deswegen ist er umso dankbarer, jetzt hier mit ihm und vor allem bei ihm zu sein. „Ich will das", setzt er nach, weil es die Wahrheit ist. Er will den Trubel, die Aufmerksamkeit, die Siege und die knappen Niederlagen und vor allem will er diese Vierschanzentournee gewinnen. Er will alles, auch wenn ihn das manchmal an seine Grenzen bringt.

Stephan mustert ihn eindringlich und schnaubt kurz auf. „Andi - es ist okay, wenn nicht alles in Ordnung ist, das weißt du?“ Andreas nickt nur stumm und etwas hilflos, während er bemerkt, wie unter dem intensiven Blick die Hitze in seinem Gesicht aufsteigt.

„Du packst das. Schließlich bist du dafür geboren“, zitiert Stephan sich selbst und schmunzelt dabei. „Das Interview hab' ich vorhin gesehen, gut zu wissen, dass ich bewundert werde“, steigt Andreas sofort mit ein und stupst sein Gegenüber spielerisch mit der Schulter an. Stephan zuckt daraufhin nur mit den Schultern und versucht, ernst zu bleiben. „Hätte schlecht was anderes sagen können.“ In seinen Augen blitzt der Schalk, während er seine Hand aus Andreas' Umklammerung löst und schließlich seine Arme vor der Brust verschränkt. Seine Mundwinkel zittern verräterisch und es dauert nicht lange, bis er das Lachen nicht länger zurückhalten kann. Andreas kann nicht anders, als mit einzustimmen. Hell und befreit bricht es aus ihm heraus und er kommt nicht umhin zu denken, dass Stefan wirklich das Beste ist, was ihm jemals passiert ist.

Es dauert eine Weile, bis aus dem Lachen ein Glucksen wird, beide schließlich verstummen und sich angrinsen. Von der vorherigen Anspannung ist nichts mehr übrig und Andreas spürt, wie sich eine tiefe Dankbarkeit in ihm ausbreitet. Mit Stephan kann er alles sein, egal ob ernst oder albern. Er muss sich weder für seine überschüssige Energie noch für die Melancholie, die sich nach solchen Tagen über ihn legt, entschuldigen oder erklären. Selbst die Stille, die sich nun zwischen sie gelegt hat, fühlt sich nach Geborgenheit an.

Stephan räuspert sich schließlich und nickt in Richtung Bad, „hab vorhin übrigens die Dusche für dich vorbereitet – dein Lieblingshandtuch und das Entspannungsduschgel liegen bereit.“

Zum wiederholten Mal an diesem Abend setzt Andreas' Herz einen Schlag aus.

„Ich liebe dich.“

Ohne eine Antwort abzuwarten, greift er wieder nach Stephans Hand und drückt einen sanften Kuss auf dessen Handgelenk, genau dort, wo der Puls schlägt. Dann lässt er ihre Hände in seinen Schoss sinken, während Stephan ihn mit leicht geöffneten Lippen und einem Funkeln in den Augen ansieht.

„Kommst du mit ins Bad?“, durchbricht Andreas das Schweigen rasch, während er Stephans Hand leicht drückt. Erwartungsvoll blickt er seinen Freund an, den Kopf hat er dabei etwas schief gelegt.

„Du spielst unfair“, antwortet Stephan nach kurzer Zeit mit belegter Stimme, während Andreas seine Unterlippe leicht nach vorne schiebt, was sein Gegenüber wie erwartet grinsen und schließlich nicken lässt.

Enthusiastisch und etwas ungeschickt steigt Andreas aus dem Bett und zieht einen überrumpelten Stephan dabei mit sich, sodass dieser gegen ihn stolpert. Reflexartig schließt Andreas seine Arme um den anderen, um sie beide zu stabilisieren. Stephans Hände liegen fest und schwer auf seiner Hüfte, während sie so dicht voreinander stehen, dass Andreas Stephans warmen Atem spürt.

Sein Blick huscht über das ihm so bekannte Gesicht und Andreas verliert sich einmal mehr in dem Gedanken, wie schön sein Freund tatsächlich ist. Als Stephan sich etwas von ihm wegdrückt, festigt Andreas seinen Griff instinktiv, nicht bereit, die Nähe zwischen ihnen aufzugeben. Stephan scheint das gar nicht zu bemerken, stattdessen sieht er ihm voller Zuneigung in die Augen, dann streckt er sich etwas und verschließt ihre Lippen zu einem sanften Kuss miteinander.

„Ich liebe dich auch“, murmelt er gegen Andreas' Lippen.

Die Endorphine jagen durch seine Adern, das Glück breitet sich schwallartig in jeder Faser seines Körpers aus, bis da nichts mehr außer Stephan ist. Stephan, dessen Herzschlag er an seiner eigenen Brust spürt, stark und gleichmäßig und unglaublich vertraut. Stephans Hände, die inzwischen langsam, beinahe suchend über seinen Rücken wandern und unter denen er sich so sicher wie nirgends sonst fühlt. Stephan, der ihn immer noch behutsam küsst und dabei leise aufseufzt. Alles fühlt sich unfassbar intim an und Andreas spürt das Verlangen nach mehr, näher, intensiver in sich aufsteigen. Ehe er dem Drang allerdings nachgeben kann, hat Stephan ihren Kuss gelöst und schiebt ihn stattdessen bestimmt in das angrenzende Badezimmer. Wie so oft scheint er zu wissen, was Andreas fühlt, was er braucht, ohne dass sie ein Wort darüber verlieren müssen.

Zum zweiten Mal an diesem Abend fällt eine Tür mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss und zum zweiten Mal lehnt er mit geschlossenen Augen an dieser. Sein Kopf allerdings ist herrlich leer und alles, was er spürt, ist Stephan.

Jetzt gerade ist wirklich alles mehr als okay.

[milktrician]

(what the. who threw a wife plot device in the middle of a peak lord meeting)

i thought about this bit at the end of the airplane extras the other day. bro why are you looking at your coworkers like that rn

[rikan-oo]

I had trouble finding the right words to describe what exactly I like in SY and SJ until now

So, my favorite Shen dynamics:

Alternatively:

[777bae]

MORE THAN WORDS WILL SMITH

Summary :: After overhearing harsh comments about your age gap with Will, doubt creeps in. But Will reassures you with love and understanding, reminding you that others’ opinions don’t matter. In his arms, you find comfort and certainty. (REQUESTED :: prompt 28)

Warnings :: age gap (reader is older), insecurity within a relationship, kissing

Word count :: 3.8k

The room is bathed in soft shadows, the only illumination coming from the city lights filtering through the thin gaps in the curtains. Faint streaks of gold and white carve patterns across the walls, shifting ever so slightly as the night passes. The steady hum of the air conditioning fills the silence, a low, rhythmic whisper that should be soothing, should be enough to lull you to sleep. It’s constant, unchanging—so unlike the restless energy swirling in your mind.

Will lies beside you, his body warm against the cool sheets, his breathing slow and even. He fell asleep easily—he always does. There’s something effortless about the way he settles, the way his body sinks into relaxation the moment his head touches the pillow. You envy that about him. It’s not just sleep; it’s him. His quiet confidence, the way he moves through life so sure of himself, so unwavering in his choices. You’ve always admired that. He never second-guesses. He never hesitates.

You wish you could say the same.

You shift onto your side, the fabric of the sheets slipping against your skin as you press your cheek into the pillow. The mattress dips slightly under your weight, but Will doesn’t stir. He’s deep in sleep, lost in a place you can’t seem to reach. You exhale slowly, willing your body to relax, willing your mind to quiet.

But it doesn’t. It won’t.

Because every time you close your eyes, you hear it again.

“I mean, he could literally have anyone, and he’s dating… her?”

“It’s kinda weird, right? Like, she’s older. Not by a lot, but still.”

“I don’t get it, man. If I was Will, I’d be aiming younger, not up.”

The words hit like an echo, circling your mind, growing louder each time they repeat. They were thrown around so casually, spoken without thought, tossed into the air like meaningless locker room banter. But to you, they weren’t meaningless.

Because you heard them.

And now, you couldn’t un-hear them.

Your stomach twists, a dull ache settling in your chest. You try to tell yourself that it doesn’t matter. That those guys—teammates, but not friends—don’t know Will the way you do. That their opinions hold no weight.

But knowing that doesn’t stop the doubt from creeping in.

The worst part is that you hadn’t even meant to overhear. You weren’t eavesdropping, weren’t searching for something to hurt you. You had simply been walking by, on your way to meet Will after practice, when their voices had carried through the open door of the locker room.

You hadn’t even realized they were talking about you at first.

Not until you heard your name.

And by then, it was too late.

The words had already latched onto something vulnerable inside you, burrowing deep, spreading like cracks through glass. They weren’t meant for your ears, but that didn’t make them any less sharp, any less capable of cutting.

You knew Mack and Will’s close friends—his real friends—only ever teased him about the age difference in good fun. It was just banter, the kind that never carried weight, the kind that came with easy grins and exaggerated eye rolls. Mack would nudge Will in the ribs, throw out a “Man, you always did have a thing for older women, huh?” and Will would just shake his head, amused but unbothered. It was lighthearted. It was harmless.

But those other teammates—the ones who weren’t part of his tight-knit circle, the ones who didn’t really know him? They meant it.

There was something different in their tone, something that wasn’t just playful teasing but quiet judgment. Their words weren’t delivered with smirks and laughter. They weren’t meant as jokes. They were whispered, muttered under their breath, exchanged in passing like an unspoken agreement.

They thought it was weird.

They thought you were wrong for him.

And maybe they were right.

The thought sends a fresh wave of unease through you, a dull, sinking feeling settling in your stomach. You shift again, rolling onto your other side, trying—begging—for sleep to take over. But no matter how much you twist and turn, no matter how many times you adjust your pillow, your body refuses to relax.

Your muscles are tense, your jaw tight, your mind running in circles you can’t seem to break free from.

You press your lips together, squeezing your eyes shut, willing yourself to sleep, willing your mind to quiet.

It doesn’t work.

Because the moment your eyes close, their voices creep in again. The words replay over and over, looping like a broken record, refusing to fade.

And with every repetition, they feel less like a cruel, offhanded remark and more like the truth.

A sigh comes from beside you, soft but weighted, followed by the faint rustling of sheets as Will shifts. The warmth of his body inches closer, heat radiating through the space between you. Then, his fingers find you in the dark, skimming up your arm in a slow, unhurried path before settling on your shoulder. His touch is warm, grounding, the kind of effortless intimacy that comes with knowing someone deeply.

“You've been tossing and turning for the last 40 minutes.” His voice is thick with sleep, rough around the edges, but there’s an undeniable awareness in it. Even half-asleep, he’s tuned into you. “What’s up?”

Your body stiffens, only slightly, but it’s enough for him to notice. You force yourself to relax, to loosen your shoulders, to school your expression into something neutral. It’s second nature—the instinct to deflect, to downplay, to tuck your emotions away where they won’t be seen.

“Nothing.”

The lie comes easily, practiced and quiet. You keep your voice steady, hoping he’s too tired to push, that he’ll be content with a half-answer, too drowsy to care.

You feel him hesitate, just for a second. Then his hand moves, his thumb beginning to trace absentminded patterns over your skin—slow, rhythmic, comforting. The motion is gentle, lulling, but you know him too well to think he’s going to let this go.

“Try again.”

His voice is still soft, still carrying the remnants of sleep, but there’s something else in it now—something patient but firm. A quiet insistence.

You inhale deeply, slowly, through your nose. Hold. Then exhale just as carefully, as if controlling your breathing will somehow control the storm in your mind.

You don’t answer.

Silence settles between you, stretching into the space where words should be.

For a brief moment, you think maybe—maybe—he’ll let it go.

Maybe he’ll be too tired to keep asking. Maybe he’ll assume it’s nothing and fall back asleep. Maybe you can bury it down, deep enough that even you won’t feel it anymore.

But then he shifts closer, the warmth of him seeping into you, his presence impossible to ignore. His arm drapes over your waist, effortlessly pulling you against him, the steady rise and fall of his chest pressing into your back. Then, his lips brush against your shoulder—soft, familiar, lingering just long enough to make your breath hitch.

Slowly, he trails upward, the heat of his mouth barely skimming your skin, a featherlight touch against the curve of your neck. It’s gentle, almost absentminded, but it sends a shiver through you anyway.

“You’re overthinking something,” he murmurs, voice still thick with sleep but laced with quiet certainty. He’s awake now—really awake, his focus entirely on you.

You swallow against the tightness in your throat, keeping your eyes shut, as if that might be enough to shield you from him. “I’m fine, Will,” you say softly. “Just restless.”

A beat of silence. Then—

He hums, low and unconvinced. “Liar.”

A quiet, breathy laugh escapes you, but there’s no real humor in it. It’s just a reflex, an automatic reaction to his teasing, but the weight in your chest doesn’t lighten. If anything, it settles deeper.

You shift, rolling onto your back, putting just enough space between you that his arm slides from your waist. His fingers skim over your side before they still, his touch lingering even in absence. You blink up at the ceiling, letting your gaze blur, as if the faint patterns of light filtering through the curtains might offer an answer.

Will props himself up slightly, watching you. You can feel it—the way his attention lingers, the way his presence is unwavering, waiting.

“Go to sleep,” you whisper again, quieter this time.

His response is immediate, effortless. “You first.”

His voice is steady, calm, but there’s something playful in it, like he already knows you won’t be able to.

You exhale sharply through your nose, willing your body to relax, willing your mind to cooperate. You squeeze your eyes shut again, focusing on the steady rhythm of his breathing, the warmth of his body beside you, the gentle weight of his fingers still resting against your skin.

For a fleeting moment, you think maybe—maybe—you can do it. Maybe you can push it away, bury it deep enough that it won’t reach you tonight.

But then—

“Weird, right?”

“If I was Will, I’d be aiming younger, not up.”

The words slam into you all over again, unshakable, unavoidable.

Your jaw tightens.

Will shifts beside you, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight, and then you feel it—his body turning toward you, the warmth of him closing the space between you. His elbow presses into the bed as he props himself up, his presence unmistakable, his attention now fully on you.

You don’t have to look at him to know that he’s watching you. You can feel it in the way the air changes, in the quiet focus of his presence, in the way his breathing has slowed, tuned in to you completely.

“Come on, babe,” he murmurs, his voice softer now, coaxing but steady. “Talk to me.”

You hesitate.

The words are there, resting on the tip of your tongue, heavy and insistent, begging to be spoken. But you bite them back, pressing them down, trying to convince yourself that they don’t matter, that saying them out loud won’t make them real.

You swallow. “It’s nothing,” you say, too quickly, too automatically.

Will doesn’t move, doesn’t react right away, but you know he doesn’t believe you. He’s too perceptive, too attuned to you, to ever let something like that slip by.

“If it was nothing,” he says, his voice still gentle, patient, knowing, “you’d be asleep by now.”

You inhale sharply, your chest rising and falling with the weight of it, but you don’t respond. You just stare up at the ceiling, unblinking, as if it might somehow give you something to hold onto, some kind of anchor to keep you from slipping further into your thoughts.

Will waits. He doesn’t rush you, doesn’t demand anything from you. But he’s there, and he’s not letting this go.

His fingers move, slow and deliberate, trailing lightly down your arm. The sensation is soft, grounding, a quiet reassurance that he’s here, that he’s with you, that you don’t have to hold this weight alone.

He gives you space, but not distance.

And somehow, that makes it harder to keep the words locked inside.

Finally, you crack.

The weight of it has been pressing down on you all night, refusing to let you breathe, refusing to let you sleep, and now, with Will beside you, warm and steady and waiting—you can’t keep it in anymore.

“I overheard some of your teammates talking,” you admit quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Will stills beside you. His body tenses, just the slightest bit, but you feel it—how his relaxed posture shifts, how his breathing changes. It’s subtle, but it’s there. His hand, still resting lightly against your arm, stills completely.

“What’d they say?”

His voice is calm, but there’s something underneath it now, something restrained. He’s not pushing, not demanding, but you can hear it—the quiet, controlled edge that wasn’t there before.

You hesitate.

The words are right there, sitting at the back of your throat, but saying them means admitting that they got to you. That their careless, offhanded remarks sank their claws into you, that they dug in so deep you let them fester.

You swallow, forcing the lump in your throat down. Then, in a voice so small you barely recognize it as your own, you say—

“That you could do better.”

Silence.

Thick, heavy silence. The kind that stretches long enough to make your chest ache.

Then—Will moves.

Slowly, his hand slides down your arm, his fingers brushing over your skin before they tangle with yours. His grip is firm but not tight, like he’s making sure you feel him, making sure you know he’s here, solid and real and with you.

“Better how?”

His voice is steady—too steady. Measured, deliberate. He already knows the answer. He just wants to hear you say it.

You stare at the ceiling, your vision blurring slightly as you try to find the words, even though you already know them, even though they’ve been repeating in your head all night.

You take a slow, careful breath before you whisper, “Younger.”

The word tastes bitter, like something you shouldn’t have said aloud.

You force yourself to keep going, even though every part of you wants to stop. “That it’s weird,” you continue, your voice barely above a breath. “That if you had options, they don’t get why you’d choose… me.”

The second the words leave your mouth, you regret them.

Saying them makes them real.

And for a brief, terrifying second, you worry—what if he agrees? What if this is the moment he realizes they’re right?

But then—

Will moves again, shifting beside you, and before you can process it, he’s sitting up fully, his back pressing against the headboard. His grip on your hand tightens slightly—not enough to hurt, just enough to make sure you don’t pull away. Just enough to make sure you don’t retreat into yourself again.

“Okay, first of all?” Will says, his tone growing exasperated as he shakes his head slightly. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Your breath hitches, the words lodging themselves somewhere deep in your chest, tight and painful. You didn’t expect him to react like this. You didn’t expect him to—snap—but his response is swift and sure, and it makes your heart thud harder in your chest.

“Will—”

You don’t know what you’re going to say, what you can even say to make this better. But you’re cut off before you can find the words.

“No, listen to me,” he interrupts, his voice firm, resolute, not leaving any room for doubt. His gaze is steady, never wavering, locking with yours with an intensity that shakes you. “I’m an adult. I make my own decisions.”

The words hit you harder than you expect, reverberating in your chest. There’s something about the way he says it like he’s not just telling you, but also reminding himself. You don’t doubt his conviction. You never have. But something about hearing him say it like this—the absolute certainty in his voice—makes you exhale in a way you hadn’t been able to all night.

“And being with you?” He leans in just slightly, his voice softer now, filled with a kind of quiet intensity. “That’s not just my decision—it’s the best one I’ve ever made.”

You blink, and for a second, nothing comes out. His words hover between you, heavy and warm. You want to say something, anything, but your throat tightens, choking back whatever emotions have been swelling in you all this time.

His hand reaches out, and it’s gentle, but insistent. He cups your jaw, his thumb brushing over your cheek, the touch tender and sure. His fingers are warm, grounding, as if trying to steady you with just a touch. You don’t pull away.

“I don’t care what they think,” he continues, his voice low, almost reverent. “They don’t know me. Not really. Not like Mack and the guys do. And they definitely don’t know us.”

You feel the truth in his words. The people who are on the outside, the ones who haven’t seen you together, who don’t understand what it’s like to be with him, what it feels like to have him with you, they don’t get it. They never will. But the thought of what they said—their dismissal of you, of him—it still lingers.

His hand moves again, his thumb sweeping over your skin in soft circles. It’s reassuring, even though there’s a weight to the moment that doesn’t go away. His presence is unshakable, like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life.

“You think I don’t hear the jokes?” Will continues, the corners of his mouth twitching into something that almost resembles a smile. “You think Mack doesn’t give me hell about it every chance he gets?” He shakes his head slowly, an affectionate but knowing smirk crossing his lips. “But you know what the difference is? He’s just messing with me.”

A laugh bubbles up from your chest, quiet and disbelieving, because you know this to be true. Mack’s teasing is never meant to hurt, but to play. You’ve heard it before. But the others—the ones who weren’t close to Will—they didn’t have the same warmth behind their words. Their remarks felt cold, careless, like something they couldn’t take back.

“Because he knows it doesn’t matter,” Will continues, his voice steady now, his eyes never leaving yours. “Because he knows that I love you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, the weight of his words sinking in like the promise they are. They slip past the cracks in your guard and settle deep, anchoring themselves in your heart. It’s the way he says it—like it’s the only thing that matters, like there’s nothing else to say.

“I love you,” he repeats, softer this time, quieter, like he’s reminding you of the only truth that matters. It’s like he’s speaking it directly into the space between you, as if to fill every doubt, every worry, every insecurity with his certainty.

His hand shifts from your cheek to cradle the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. His forehead rests against yours, the gentle pressure grounding you as his breath mingles with yours. It’s intimate, vulnerable, and you feel the weight of everything he’s said in the quiet comfort of his embrace.

You close your eyes, letting his words wash over you, pushing away the doubts and the questions that had been circling endlessly in your mind. For the first time all night, everything feels like it’s in its right place. Will doesn’t care about the opinions of others. All that matters is what the two of you share, what the two of you have chosen.

“I love you,” he whispers again, his voice barely more than a breath, but it fills the space between you with a warmth that makes everything else fade into the background. His lips brush against yours, soft and lingering, like the kiss itself is a promise, a quiet reassurance that nothing has changed.

The kiss isn’t hurried or desperate. It’s gentle, almost reverent, like he’s savoring the moment, making sure you feel every ounce of his affection in the tender press of his lips. And as he pulls away just slightly, his breath warm against your skin, you can feel his love more deeply than the words alone could ever express. It’s in the way his fingers, still cradling your neck, gently tug you closer, bringing you into his embrace as if he’s never going to let go.

For a brief moment, you close your eyes and let everything fall away. The doubts. The questions. The words from earlier that had burned their way into your thoughts. All of it slips away as the rhythm of his heartbeat syncs with yours, a steady, calming reminder that you’re here, in this moment, together.

You’re not thinking about what the other people said anymore, not even about the way their words had sliced through your confidence and planted seeds of insecurity in your heart. You’re not thinking about the age difference, or whether it matters. All of that feels so distant now, almost irrelevant, because in this space, with Will, you are simply you. And he is him. And there is no question about whether this is right. It is.

His hand slides down your back, his fingers warm against your skin as he pulls you in even closer, pressing his body against yours in a way that makes your heart skip. It’s a subtle movement, but the weight of his touch, the way he’s holding you like you’re the only thing that matters, makes your chest tighten with emotion.

“I don’t need anyone else to tell me what I feel,” he murmurs, his lips brushing your temple, his voice low and unwavering. “You’re everything to me. And that’s enough.”

And in that moment, you realize he’s right. He doesn’t need anyone’s approval. Neither of you do. His love, his choice to be with you, his certainty—it’s more than enough. It’s everything.

You open your eyes again, and when you meet his gaze, you see that same unwavering certainty reflected back at you. His eyes are soft, but there’s a depth to them that makes your heart swell. It’s as if he’s saying everything without speaking—I chose you, and I will always choose you.

Without a word, you lean in again, this time with more urgency, a quiet desperation that only comes when you realize just how much you need someone. Your lips find his again, and this time, the kiss is deeper, more consuming. It’s as if you’re both trying to prove something to each other, to make sure the other knows, without a doubt, that this love is real, and it’s yours.

His arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer as though he’s trying to erase the space between you. And for a moment, you lose yourself in the warmth of him, in the certainty of his touch, in the weight of his love.

When you finally pull away, your breath is shaky, your chest heaving slightly from the intensity of the kiss. But there’s no hesitation, no doubt, no lingering insecurity. There’s only him. There’s only the two of you.

“I love you,” he repeats, his voice a little rougher now, but the sincerity is still there, still clear, still strong.

“I love you too,” you whisper back, your voice barely more than a breath, but it’s enough.

And in that moment, you know. You know that nothing else matters. The outside world can say whatever it wants, can whisper its judgments or misunderstandings. But the only thing that matters is the two of you, here, together, in this space. His love for you, your love for him, and the life you’re building together.

That’s all that matters.

[lilhughesy]

Can I request something with Will Smith? Maybe with the reader being a friend of Macklin

B.C. Tour Guides | Will Smith x Fem!Reader

warnings! none just fluff!

a/n: thankyou for your request! this was my first time writing for will and mack, so hopefully it’s ok! i hope you like it🫶

Macklin was ecstatic when he found out that the Sharks were going to be in Vancouver two days before their game against the Canucks. Meaning, he had time to visit his family and friends — more importantly, being able to show Will a bit of where he grew up.

Will and Mack got their kicks out of taking a quick stroll through Queen Elizabeth Park to visiting the local shops downtown.

“Okay, so I think we should get dinner at The Shed tonight.” Mack said to his best friend as they settled back into their hotel room after practice.

Will shrugged, “Sure, Mack. It’s your city, so whatever you wanna do.”

Mack grinned at the blonde, “Plus I think I might be able to get us a discount on dinner.”

The two Sharks got dressed into street attire not too long after before heading out to grab a coffee and people watch. One of their favourite pastimes, plus Will got to admire the Canadian city and enjoy the kind people that greeted them as they walked by.

Mack led Will into the resturant where they waited to be seated, Will watched Mack mumble something to the hostess who responded with an eager nod. She quickly led the two of them to the patio where it gave them the perfect view of the sun set over the beautiful city.

“Your waitress will be here soon with some waters!” The hostess said to the two of them while handing them their menus.

Mack explained to Will the different things he’s tried in the past, what he liked or didn’t.

“Hi welcome to The Shed, my name is Y/N-” She started before glancing up from her little notepad, she looked back down before doing an immediate double take, “Mack?!”

Mack grinned at the girl, watching her entire face light up, “Hey stranger!” He pushed himself out of his chair and pulled her into a tight embrace, “How are you?”

She laughed with disbelief evident in her tone, she squeezed her arms around his middle, “What are you doing here?! Don’t tell me you got booted out of the NHL already!”

He rolled his eyes, ruffling her hair slightly as they pulled away from each other, “Oh shut up, we’re here for a game against the Canucks tomorrow night.”

Y/N beamed, “That is so cool! Why didn’t you text me that you were coming back home?”

“I wanted to surprise you!” He exclaimed, still smiling before noticing Will patiently sitting in his seat still, “Y/N, this is my friend Will Smith. Will, this is my best friend Y/N- She got me through biology in school.”

She turned to look at the blonde, her hands wiping against the front of her pants, “Hi, Will Smith! Are you by any chance a famous actor?” She teased, giving the boy a sweet smile.

He looked up at her, completely entranced by the way the fairy lights sparkled behind her like a halo, and how her eyes shined and her smile was nothing like he’d ever seen before. Will never believed in love at first sight, however at this moment, he swore that he just experienced it.

“Unfortunately not,” Will finally replied, snapping out of his trance and pulling himself together, “Just a hockey player.”

“This is his first time in Vancouver too, so I’ve just been showing him around.” Mack added, nudging his friend with his elbow lightly.

“Well, welcome to beautiful British Columbia, I hope you enjoy your stay! Also, a hockey player in the national hockey league is just as cool as an actor in my opinion.” She said to him with a wink, “Okay wait, I am in fact working so let me take your orders, at least for drinks, so I can keep my job.”

The boys chuckled, as each gave her their order which she scribbled down on her notepad before whisking away to her other tables.

“So, that’s my friend!” Mack told Will, “She’s great, super fun to be around!”

Will nodded, his eyes still following you as you moved around the restaurant with the same smile on your face, “Dude, you’ve got to give me her number,” He begged his friend, “Please don’t tell me she’s in some long committed relationship.”

Mack’s eyes widened before he started to laugh, “Oh man, you’ve got it bad!”

Will shot him a warning look, “I just think she’s cool! Plus I want to be friends with your friends, y’know?”

Mack rolled his eyes playfully, clearly amused by the situation as he pulled out his phone and sent Will her contact information. Will’s face lit up as he received Mack’s message and immediately started typing, “What do I say to her?”

“Dude!”

[10thmusemoon]

Making myself cry thinking about SJ’s disembodied spirit watching the ending scene of SVSSS where SY runs toward Binghe, leaving yqy in the past.

SJ’s eyes widening at the resigned expression YQY is wearing, more vulnerable than it was when he was at death’s door a few days prior. SJ’s head swiveling back to where SY is running past him, words tumbling out of his mouth before he can suppress them.

“Wait! Stop!”

Trying to grasp onto the back of SQQ’s robes, spectral hands phasing through his body. Desperation clawing its way up Shen Jiu’s throat when he turns back to see YQY’s solitary figure.

“Don’t you dare leave him! You can’t—!”

But SQQ can and will happily leave behind YQY for a monster. And Shen Jiu is left grasping at black robes, hands slipping through fabric and flesh, all too aware of how long YQY stared at SQQ’s retreating form until it was just a speck in the sky. Ignorant to the nails trying to dig themselves into any part of him to let YQY know he’s not alone. The fervent whispers of a name long forgotten going unheard. YQY meditates throughout the night, completely unaware of the form curling around him and silently weeping.

[peachhcs]

plz write a cute celebrini x fem reader 🙏🙏 ur writing is beyond amazing

oooh i've never written specifically for mack before so hopefully this isn't bad 😅

after mack’s face injury, his gf is quick to look after him once the game is done

masterlist

she waited impatiently near the doors of the locker room awaiting her boyfriend's arrival. y/n's mind couldn't stop replaying the horror on her features and everyone else's when they saw the blood trickle down macklin's face after a nasty high stick hit. she knew he was okay because he was right back on the ice once the bleeding stopped, but the image wouldn't shake the girl's brain.

lingering after the game felt so long this time around and y/n wondered if it was just because she was anxious about seeing her boyfriend and properly checking up on him. she swiped through twitter and instagram continuously while video replays of the rookie's hit filled her feeds. she just shut her phone off all together for now, not being able to watch the play anymore.

finally, the players began trickling out. y/n's head popped up, searching for the eyes of macklin in the crowd. she spotted him with will near the middle of the pack and he immediately found her gaze. will sensed that they probably wanted to talk, so he split off from the boy once they got closer, giving a small nod to y/n as he passed.

"hey," macklin began, but was caught off guard when y/n jumped into his arms.

"let me see it," she grabbed ahold of his chin, turning his face to the side to examine the new scar.

"it's really not that bad now. they cleared it up really good," the brunette tried reassuring his girlfriend knowing she probably had a hundred thoughts running through her.

"you scared the shit out of me when i saw all that blood. it looked a lot worse," y/n stepped back, arms crossing over her chest.

macklin frowned at the sudden distance between them, "i'm sorry, baby. i promise i'm fine. see?" he gave his best grin hoping to further prove how he was doing.

"well, if i see wilson, i'm gonna punch him myself," y/n huffed, looking around like she would catch the older player lingering somewhere.

macklin laughed, tugging y/n into his side and kissing the side of her head, "you're so cute when you're upset. i promise i'm fine though. i mean you saw me play afterwards."

"yeah you fucking power played. i guess that was your redemption," the two exchanged a laugh and macklin enjoyed finally pulling a smile from her.

"can i come back to your place tonight?" the boy wondered as they moved themselves closer to the exit.

"i thought that was a given already," y/n chuckled.

macklin went to tell will they were leaving before rushing out of the SAP center so he wouldn't have to do any press. most days he didn't mind, but tonight the boy was itching to get out of there and spend some much needed time with his girl. they hadn't seen each other since last weekend—school and hockey keeping them way too busy.

"just so you know, i am gonna baby you the whole night," y/n informed once they were securely in her car.

"mm, i can't wait. a face mask is just calling my name," the hockey player leaned back in the passenger seat, hand falling to the girl's lap as she pulled out of the parking lot.

luckily, there was no early morning practice tomorrow, so macklin was gonna use that to his full advantage and spend the night in y/n's dorm. the couple rode in comfortable silence into santa clara university, a convenient 7 minutes away from the arena so y/n never missed a home game.

she parked her car again and the couple hurried into her building. the few students wandering around the lobby caught sight of macklin's suit he put back on, a few of them recognizing him from as a sharks player and as y/n's boyfriend because he was over so much.

they lucked out with y/n's roommate hanging out with her own boyfriend tonight, so they had the whole dorm to themselves. macklin immediately thew his backpack onto the ground and shoved his suit jacket from his shoulders.

"gonna shower. i didn't really before we left. you're welcome to join me if you want," the brunette winked at the girl who flushed.

"wow, so classy of you. i did already shower this morning, so i'll have to pass this time," y/n laughed.

"damn, i thought you'd say yes. you sure you don't wanna shower again?" he winked again. y/n groaned, pushing her boyfriend to the bathroom.

"i'll be out here with your face mask."

the rookie accepted his lonely shower fate and disappeared into the bathroom. y/n took the opportunity to tidy up the room and get all the things she needed for their face masks.

20 minutes later, macklin came back out of the bathroom freshly showered and in more comfortable clothes. y/n hung up his suit jacket on the door of her closet, instructing him to do the same with the rest of the outfit so it wouldn't wrinkle.

the boy climbed into her bed a second later, positioning himself against her pillows, "i'm readyy," he sang.

"i've never known you to be so excited for a face mask," y/n grinned.

"it really makes my skin smooth, so i like it," the boy explained.

y/n handed mack her headband so his hair wouldn't be in his face or in the mask. he didn't hesitate to slip it over his head and expose his forehead. the girl giggled at the sight.

"are you laughing at my big forehead?" the boy raised his eyebrow, hands finding places on y/n's hips as she straddled his waist.

"maybe," she hummed, leaning forward to begin rubbing the cream on his skin.

mack admired her focused expression while just really taking the time to take in every part of her as she applied the mask. this was his favorite part of face masks because he could stare at her without shame and she hardly noticed because she was too focused on the mask.

"have i told you how beautiful you are?" the brunette wondered softly. he watched the way y/n's cheeks heated up into a deep blush.

"you have," she muttered.

"well, i'm gonna say it again. you're really beautiful," mack grinned.

"you're sappy tonight," y/n flushed.

"what? can i not say how beautiful my girlfriend is?"

"no, you can. thank you," she finished spreading the mask, leaning back to admire her work.

"how's it look?"

"great. i'lll let you know when five minutes are up," the girl set a timer on her phone and then mack grabbed the mask cream from her hands before she could set it back on the dresser.

she looked at her boyfriend quizzically.

"can i do yours?" he wondered with a soft expression.

y/n blushed again, "just don't get it in my hair."

"promise, i won't," macklin agreed and y/n let him have at it.

his touch was gentle as his fingers began rubbing around her skin. his lip poked out from his lips as he focused on doing it right. y/n loved how much he wanted to do it correctly for her sake and his expression really was just to die for.

"okay, did it," macklin leaned back to admire his work the same way y/n did. she loved the proud little smile on his lips, pulling her camera up to examine how well he did.

"wow, looks great, mack. your best one yet," y/n agreed.

"what can i say? practice makes perfect," the boy hummed, placing everything back onto her dresser.

"so how's your lip doing now?" y/n wondered as mack's hands wandered across the expanse of her hips and waist.

"i can't even feel it anymore, so good. i told you i'm fine," he eyed her.

"i know, just let me be a worry wart."

the sharks player smiled at her words knowing how much she liked to worry about things, especially the things that didn't need to be worried about. he reached up to quickly peck her lips, tryng to avoid getting face mask on one another.

"i love you," the brunette said.

y/n's smile grew, the whole i love you still new to them but heartwarming to hear, "i love you, too," she kissed him again and now they didn't care about getting face mask on one another.

[rhiangalaxy]

Shen Jiu and his plant son Shen Yuan <3 (ft. a bonus of YGY and LGG's very different methods of babysitting)

[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. Shen Jiu holds Shen Yuan is his arms, staring towards the audience with a slightly scary, unamused expression. In his arms, Shen Yuan, dressed in Qing Jing teals and greens, appearing to be around the ages of four-six with a darker skin tone, a mole on his forehead and a green sprout popping out of his head, is gazing and reaching out amazedly at a demonic butterfly. End ID]

[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. The top half depicts Yue Qingyuan, cradling a Shen Yuan that is wrapped in blankets and smiling. Then leaning in to give him a forehead kiss. The bottom half depicts Liu Qingge lifting SY by the ankle, much to SY's delight, and then moving him around to the back of himself with a faintly amused expression. End ID]

[venshichan]

So we all know those au where Shen Yuan transmigrates early and becomes Shen Jiu’s mentor/guide, right? SY could be a parent, an older brother, a younger brother, a sibling, a fellow Qing Jing disciple–could be a shidi or shixiong–or a random rogue cultivator.

But what if... he transmigrates as Qiu Jianluo?

Enter, SY, who finds himself transmigrating into QJL, realizing he's Qiu Haitang's older brother and meant to be murdered in cold blood in a few years by the future Scum Villain’s hands. He tries his best to avoid taking Shen Jiu into his household to avoid dying, but the System threatens to send him back to his old body if he doesn't let the plot run its course. It's very hard to avoid your death when even the System brought back the original goods because you refused to play your role—so now you share a body with it's former host, where you can see what the other is doing whenever they are in control, but helpless and unable to do anything about it.

SY would be in control at night, but QJL would be in control by day–hence the reason why SJ was still brought into the Qiu Household, because QJL (the asshole) went out somewhere and brought him back while SY was "asleep".

To everyone else's pov, "QJL"–after some weird fever and a terrible accident–is bipolar. By day, he's the cruel young master. By night, he's the sweet and kind young master–the old version of QJL, the one who wasn't yet exposed to the cruelty of society, the version who hadn't been taken aside by his father to be molded to who he would be in the far future. Of course, people preferred the "nicer" side.

Shen Jiu doesn't know what’s happening, but he also prefers the kinder side: according to what he hears about his master, he had suffered a terrible accident–It was out of nowhere, too!–on his birthday where things changed.

SJ’s life will continue on as it was–except he gets spoiled by SY at night, gets cuddled by him, gets comforted and such. He gets to learn that the "nicer" side likes to call himself "Shen Yuan", and being to call him as such. SJ may or may not....have a crush on "SY". Well, it's complicated, really, since the "young master" is also the one who sort of hurts him and the fact that the share the same face/body–and also the fact that he's supposed to be engaged or marry the sister.

"SY" eventually manages to wrangle control from QJL, and seals him away after outsmarting the System, convinces SJ to escape at night to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, giving him money and supplies so he can make it there to find his "Qi-ge".

He waits for SJ, hoping he would turn out fine and never treat the protagonist badly, always exchanging letters with him on how to handle his disciples and such, until a few months later, the letters stopped. SY is of course saddened by this, and mope around for a while: everyone isn't too worried that he'd go on a rampage and beat people up, because the night that SJ fled, the "harsh" QJL was suddenly gone.

QHT is a little worried about her brother, of course. And a little stumped that her fiance ran off to be a cultivator, but then again, it will work out for her to have a cultivator as her husband, right? Wrong!

SJ suddenly came to their household one day, all finery elegance, and grace–looking like the immortal master that he is, and QHT is overjoyed by his return. She thinks they'll finally get married and all...only for SJ to kneel before her brother and propose to him—

"....Xiao Jiu, what the hell?"

—much to everyone's shock, confusion, and outrage (on QHT's part).

P.S.: For funsies, this will mostly be in SJ's pov. :3

[skijumpingf1]

Are you flirting with me? (D.Prevc x B. Østvold)

Happy to report that I am finally done with my Domen and Benjamin fic. In my head this was supposed to be way funnier but apparently, I am not that good at writing funny. Also, this was the first time I tried to write third person so I am sorry if somethings feel odd. This is set in Oberstdorf 2025 and features an oblivious Domen, a flirty Benjamin and a hint of desperate team Slovenia.

Wordcount: 4529

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Something always feels magical before the first ski flying weekend of the year. At least it feels like that for Domen. Ski flying is in his blood. No matter how bad he is at ski jumping, ski flying will always work and this time his form isn’t even that bad. The city of Oberstdorf is already buzzing when the Slovenian team arrives with their buses and Domen tries to soak up as much of this atmosphere as he can. He can’t help the smile appearing on his face when he sees a few fans outside his window. “God, I hate how happy you are when we are at a ski flying hill. Makes me miss grumpy Domen.”, Timi states when he catches a glimpse of his teammates face. Domen just shrugs. “As if you aren’t as excited as me.”, Domen counters. He could see the shimmer in his Timis eyes. Those two are rarely on the same page about something but the love for ski flying is something they both share.

Anze is the first to hop out of the car when they arrive at the hill. Domen follows his teammate and is greeted by a cold gush of wind and a pretty blue sky. Almost perfect ski flying conditions. It’s still relative relaxed at the hill. They are one of the first teams to arrive and its only Friday so there is no big media run anyway. “I think Timi is more excited that his girlfriend is here this weekend.” Their oldest teammate wiggles his eyebrows. Domen can’t help the giggle that escapes him. Lovro behind him bursts out laughing. But it is Domen who gets a slap against his arm from Timi. “Ouch!” “Ups, my bad.” Timi puts on an innocent face. “Anze said it not me.” Domen’s teammate just shrugged. He rolls his eyes. Sometimes he hates Timi. He could count on him, sure. If he had an emergency Timi would be the second person in team, after Anze of course, he would call. But sometimes, like now, he would like to throw him in the ditch.

“You are all just jealous that my girlfriend is here or that I even have a girlfriend.”, Timi states and puts on a beanie. The last words are directed in his and Roks direction. Domen ignores the comment like he always does and goes to the trunk to get his stuff. “I think Domen is very jealous. Right Domen?” Lovro appears next to him and smirks. Internally Domen adds Lovros name to the list of people he hates. He turns around out to counter Lovros comment since it is totally baseless. He likes being single. For the most part at least. But before he can answer, Domen spots something more exciting behind his teammate. Or should he say someone? The Norwegians just arrived and a friendly face smiles at him. Thank God. Someone who doesn’t annoy him. Benjamin Østvold closes the distance between the Norwegian and Slovenian busses with a few large steps. “Hello there.”, he announces himself. Domen lays a hand around Benjamins bicep and drags him away from the bus. The Norwegian follows him perplexed. “You are a life saver. My teammates are horrible today.” Lovro snorts loudly somewhere behind them. “I am just concerned that you are alone. We don’t want you to end up as a spinster.”, Domen’s teammate almost screams. Would he be thrown out of the team if he slaps Lovro? And Timi for that matter?

Benji raises an eyebrow at his friend, when they reach the ski jumping village and Domen lets go of his friend. “What was that about?” “Nothing important. Just annoying teammates and you are a good excuse to escape them.”  For a second Domen thinks that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to drag Benjamin with him. His stuff appeared to be still in the Norwegian car and now he has to go back to get it. The thought leaves his head as soon as he looks in Benjis blue and understanding eyes. “Glad I could help. I can be your knight in shining armour any time.”, Benji winks und grins playfully at him. Domen can’t help but blush. “Thank you but I hope it won’t be necessary.” Strong emphasis on hope. That his teammates annoy him is a constant in Domen’s life. He looks up to his friend who still has a teasing grin on his lips. Benjamin takes a step forward and lays a hand on Domen’s shoulder borderline to bis neck. With everyone else Domen would find this strange, but Benji is a touchy guy. He likes hugging or having a hand on the back. So, Domen doesn’t acknowledge it. “In what hotel are you guys staying? Maybe we are lucky and can get Dinner together.”, the Norwegian asks. Benji is so close and it’s so cold in Oberstdorf that Domen can feel his breaths on his face.

Before Domen can answer, they get interrupted. “Thank you for getting my stuff, Artti. You are the best.”, Artti Aigros sarcastic voice appears out of nowhere. He shoves a bag into Benjamins hands who let’s go off Domen. “Yes, Artti you are the best.”, Benjamin grins to his teammate. There is a quick pat on Arttis shoulder from Benji. See Benjamin really is a touchy guy, Domen thinks to himself. “I hope I didn’t interrupt something?” “No, no. I just had to flee my teammates. So, nothing new.”, Domen answers the Estonian. He lets his eyes scan over his surroundings. No Slovenians in sight. His teammates already disappeared in their cabin. Shit he totally missed this. Rob will be pissed that he is late again. He shoots an apologising look to the Norwegian. “I am late, so I probably should get going. Was nice to see you again.” “See you around, Domen.”, Benjamin replies and puts on his signature grin again.

Turns out that the Norwegian team and his team are indeed staying at the same hotel, Domen realizes when he steps out of the elevator with Lovro, Anze and Rok. Benjamin and Kristoffer are standing in the hotel lobby with one of their coaches. “Great now you are going to leave us too.”, Lovro comments when he spots Domen’s gaze on his Norwegian friend. “No, no. Seems like he is busy.” Domen looks at his friend with a raised eyebrow. For a short moment he considers going over there to ask Benji about dinner. It was his idea to get dinner after all. But the conversation looks important, so the Slovene decides against it. “Also, I am not a traitor like Timi.”, he smirks at Lovro who laughs and begins to walk into the dining hall. Their teammate has a date with his girlfriend and left the hotel about an hour ago. Not really dramatic except for Lovro.

“I can’t believe Timi is getting a good steak while we have to eat this shit.”, Anze complaints when he and Domen get back to the buffet. Domen snorts and sits down next to Lovro. “You could have gone out too. We are here every year and every time the food is gross.” That’s why Domen has opted for rice with vegetables and no meat. “You could have warned me. I would definitely have gone out if I knew.”, Rok complaints and stares disgusted at his food. He took the chicken. A mistake from Domen’s experience. “Fine then we are going out tomorrow.”, Domen sighs and shakes his head. Why are they behaving like he is their leader today? Anze sits literally next to him. “And here I was thinking I could invite you on a Date tomorrow.”, a teasing voice appears behind him. Domen turns around to find Benji standing behind him with his signature grin on his face. The Norwegian places a hand on the back of Domens chair. He wears one of the Norwegian thin team jackets which snaps perfectly around Benjamins body, Domen notices. “If you want, you can join us. The food here is hideous.”, speaks Domen and looks up at his friend. Anze next to him can’t help but chuckle. “What?”, he turns around to face his teammate. The older just shakes his head. “Nothing.” Domen raises an eyebrow. “Nothing?” Anze shakes his head. Now Lovro is the one to laugh and Domen changes to his other side but not without giving Benji an annoyed glance on the way. “It’s just that you didn’t even ask us. Maybe we want to prepare super-secret tactics.” “Not that you are not welcome, Benjamin. Of course, you can join us.”, slides Anze into Lovros explanation. Domen didn’t even think about the fact that maybe his teammates wouldn’t want to have dinner with Benjamin. Why wouldn’t they? Benji is a great guy. He focuses on the man leaning on his chair again. Benji still has a smirk on his face. “Great than you, your teammates and I have a date tomorrow.”, he winks into Domen’s direction.

Later that evening, he and Lovro are laying in their bed. Domen is glad that he can share with Lovro this weekend. Timi would be spilling too much info about his date and Anze would spend half of the night talking to his wife. Lovro is calmly on his phone, like usual, and Domen has a book in his hand. Its late and they should probably head to bed considering there is a day full of ski flying ahead, but Domen can’t put the book down. He barely notices when his teammates shifts so that he is facing him. “Domen.”, he hears a whisper. With a sigh Domen closes the book. He turns to face his teammate, who has his head propped up in his hand. “What?” Lovros face changes from curious to nervous. “Nothing.” Domen can’t help but roll his eyes. “Not again. Just spill it.” “Have you ever been in love?” He expected everything but that. What an strange question? They rarely speak deeper about their personal life. Sure, he knows how wonderful Timis girlfriend is, but he doesn’t know if they ever fight or have problems with their age gap. Lovro tells him about date ideas he has but never tells him how they go.

“How on earth did you get idea to ask me that?” Domen raises an eyebrow and watches his teammate run a hand through his blonde hair. “You never talk about relationship stuff. I don’t even know if you do hook ups or if you are secretly in a long-term relationship.” The truth is Domen never tells something about his love life because there is nothing to tell. He is focused on getting the shape back he had when he was a teenager and that takes a lot of time. It’s not like he never did something. When he still was in school, he experimented a bit with a few cute boys and girls. When he was frustrated after a competition once, he hooked up with a guy in Oslo but that is it.

“Just a few crushes.”, he answers the question honestly. When he freshly got into the world cup, he had a crush on Daniel-André Tande, but he never made a move. “And do you have a crush right now?” Domen snorts. “Nope.” Lovro raises an eyebrow. “Really? Nobody you find interesting?” For a second the image of Benjamin comes to his mind, but he shakes his head. Benji is just a friend who is flirty. Of course, Domen enjoys the attention but that’s it. “Can we go to bed now?”, Domen changes the subject before the blonde can press further. Without waiting for an answer, he turns the light off.

Domen can’t help but look around when he enters the German woods for a quick warm up jog. He hasn’t spotted any Norwegians today which seems odd. Normally they are more than punctal at the hill. Hopefully nothing bad has happened, Domen thinks to himself. The buzzing atmosphere of the hill disappears more with every step he takes into the forest. Lovros question from last night still lingers around in his mind. Was it bad that he hasn’t been in love before? Not really at least. He is 25 already. When he was younger, he always imagined having a partner by now but somehow his priorities shifted. Maybe he should be more open towards the idea of meeting someone. He is on the go a lot. He meets new people. But he never considers if they would be a good fit for him.

Domen comes to a halt at a clearing. He looks up in the blue sky. It’s a beautiful day today, maybe a bit cold. No cloud is around, and he can tell that the sky is getting darker already due to nearing sunset. Weirdly the colour of the sky seems familiar to him. “Here you are!”, he hears a voice behind him. Domen lowers his head and spins around. Benjamin removes his headphones and stops his jog. “Everything alright?”, the Norwegian asks when he comes to a halt next to Domen, who nods. “Everything is perfect. Excited to get a good meal today.” Domen can’t help but make a note to the planned dinner tonight or planned Date as Benji said it. Benjamin smiles lightly at him. “Me too. Good idea from you to leave the hotel. I just wish we were alone.”, he says while running a hand through his hair. Domen is never sure if his hair is brown or dark blonde. In this light, it appears more blondish. “Next time. Rok will never forgive me if I uninvite him.” “I take you word for it. Willingen then? Or is that too full? Maybe Japan?” He loves that about Benji. Benji always takes action. A breeze blows Domen’s hair in his face. “Japan would be cool. The food there is great. I –“ Domen gets interrupted when Benjamin gently brushes the strand of hair out his face. His fingers glide lightly over his temple and Domen can’t help the shiver. “Oh, are you cold? We can try cuddling to warm you up.” The Slovene is too stunt to speak because that seems crazy even for Benjamin. When he doesn’t answer, his friend wraps his arms around. Benjamins smell surrounds him all of the sudden and he can’t help but breath in deep when he hugs the Norwegian back. It feels odd and at the same time it doesn’t. Its Benjamin and him, everything they do feels strangely good. Even when it’s a pointless hug, because he isn’t really cold, in the German woods. Benjamin pulls Domen even closer if its possible and rubs gently over his back. “Better?”, he whispers against Domen’s ear, who can just nod. Benji chuckles and Domen can feel the vibration in his body. As if he just understood what is happening and how close they really are, Domen’s heart begins to race, and his face gets warm. Before Domen can say anything, Benjamin lets him go. A hand still lays on Domens side, though. He misses the heat from the Norwegian instantly. “We should do this more often.” What is that supposed to mean? Domen can feel Benjamins observing gaze on him, waiting for a reaction. But Domen doesn’t know how to react.

He gets saved by the ringing of his phone. “Sorry, I have to take this.” His voice feels raspy. He steps away from Benji, who still looks at him with that damn understanding face. As if he knew that he caused confusion. Domen doesn’t even look at his phone to see who is calling him when he answers. “Hello?” “Hello to you too. I just wanted to wish you safe flights today.”, Cene speaks. Another odd thing to add to the list of things that happened today. His brother normally never calls him. Well not never but rarely. “Okay thank you?” He can hear a chuckle from Benji next to him. “Who is that?” Apparently Benjamins laugh was audible over the phone. “Benjamin.” Cene pauses for a second and mumbles something quietly, which Domen can’t grasp. The Norwegian’s gaze is still on him, and it makes him nervous. So nervous that he doesn’t even ask what his brother meant. “Alright than have fun with Benjamin.” His brother sounds amused. Another thing that confusing him right now. First the whole Lovro questioning him, then the hug thing, then the call from Cene and now this answer. It feels like he is missing something. Something big that everyone around him has figured out already. Domen doesn’t get to say something back to his brother. Cene already hung up.

 A look at this phone tells him that he should be already back in the cabin. “Fuck. We are going to be late.”, he says in Benjis direction. Benjamin snaps out of comforting look or what ever and curses. In unison both of them start to jog back into the direction of the hill. Neither fully warmed up. When they reach the village, they nod to each other and disappear in their respective cabins. Lovro is already on his way up the hill, which makes Domen even more nervous. Even Timi is already starting to change. “I was a minute away from being worried.”, the younger one says. “Forgot the time.” Domen slips in his suit and grabs his back. The rest can be done in the waiting area or in the lift up. “I can tell. Did you have fun in the woods?” “What?” The hug with Benjamin comes to his mind again. The way the scent of the Norwegian surrounded him. Timi rolls his eyes. “Just go Domen.”

The smile on his face doesn’t disappear. He finished 3rd. His first podium of the season. Timi finished first but Domen is too pleased with himself to be jealous. They are already back in the hotel, getting ready to go out for Diner. Well, Domen is getting ready while Lovro is sitting on their bed and playing on his phone. “I think I will go to the lobby and wait for the others.”, his roommate says and gets up. “I will be down in five minutes.” In Domens opinion his hair looks extra messy after using the helmet. A bit more time to fix it, is just necessary. “I hope so. The reservation is in 15 minutes.” With that Lovro leaves the room and lets Domen alone.

It takes Domen four minutes until he is pleased with his hair. He grabs his wallet and looks around the room to see if he, or Lovro, forgot something. His gaze lingers on the bouquet he got on the podium. Timi gave his to his girlfriend. Domen never knows what to with his flowers. Sometimes when his sisters or his mom are around, he gives them his flowers. He should really find a good use for them other than throwing them away.

Domen takes the two flights of stairs down to the lobby. He can spot his teammates instantly. They are standing in a circle a bit away from the front desk and talking. Rok looks borderline distress. Anze, who has his back to him, shakes his head repeatedly. With a few short steps he gets over to them. “Do we think he really doesn’t know?” “Oh, come on. You know him. Of course he doesn’t.”, Lovro and Anze say before they notice Domen. He raises an eyebrow. “Who are we talking about?” A guilty look appears on Roks face. So, they talk about him. Anze pats him on the back. “Oh, just Timi and how everyone still talks about his girlfriend.” This supports his thesis even further. Anze never talks like that about Timis relationship.

“What do I not know?”, Domen speaks up. Lovro lowers his head and Rok bites his lip. Dare he say they look caught. He lets his eyes wander between his teammates. “So?” They exchange a quick look that he of course notices. What on earth is going on? Did he forget something? Did something bad happen? “Benjamin is flirting with you.”, Lovro bursts out. All heads turn in his direction. Domen opens his mouth but closes it again. What did he say? Benjamin is flirting with him? Surely Lovro has gone insane in the last five minutes. “No, he isn’t?” Because there is no way his friend has been flirting with him. At least not in a way his teammate is thinking. Benji is a flirty person. From time to time, he makes a comment, but not just with him. “Lovro, why did you say something?”, Anze hisses. The blonde points at Domen, who still shakes his head in disbelief. “He doesn’t even understand it now that I presented it to him on a silver platter. If we won’t tell him, he will never figure it out.” “You are all ridiculous. Benji is just friendly.”

Now Anze turns around to him and raises an eyebrow. “No, he is not just friendly. He literally called the diner a date.” Rok nods in agreement. “They way he smiles at you is insane and he clearly searches your presence. Like yesterday when he leaned on your chair.” Maybe Rok isn’t too far off, Domen thinks. Because Benji is always in his personal space, not that Domen is complaining, but he notices it. And the Norwegian is always smiling around him. But doesn’t he do that around everyone. He lets a hand glide through his hair. Shit now its probably all messy again. Anze puts a hand on Domen’s shoulder. “And if we are right and he is flirting with you. How does it make you feel?” How does he feel? Confused that is certain. If Benji, if Benji really flirts with him, does it mean that the Norwegian is interested in him? Domen thinks back to the hug and how Benjis hand lingered on his waist. He thinks back to all the comments Benjamin made. God. Maybe his teammates are right. Probably not but maybe there is truth in it. “I need to talk to Benjamin.”, he blurts out. Lovro laughs a bit. “Go on that date. We get some takeout.”

The restaurant is just a few minutes away from the hotel. Domen spots Benjamin instantly. The Norwegian is standing there with his hand in his pockets leaning against a streetlight. Apart from the light its already dark outside. Benajmin wanted to stroll around town a bit after the competition, that’s why he is supposed to meet Domens team there. Just that Domens team isn’t with him. He swallows hard. He will probably make a fool out of him if just straight up asks Benjamin. But what else is he supposed to do? Before Domen can think more about all of this, Benji notices him. With a swift motion Benji stands up straight and a big smile is making its way onto his face. Domen can’t help but smile back. Not as bright as his friend, though. “Where is your team?”, Domen gets asked when they are in earshot of each other. He just shrugs and keeps walking towards the taller one. When he is within a meter of Benjamin, he stops in his tracks. “They are not coming.”, he finally answers. His voice feels shaky. Quickly he rubs his hands over his jeans to try to calm himself down. Benji smirks at him. “Even better.” So far Domen hasn’t dared to look into the eyes of Benjamin but now he peaks up. Trying to see the reaction to all of this. Benjamin does the same. Fuck. What is he supposed to say now? He barely even registered what the Norwegian said.

“Are you flirting with me?” Benjamin takes a step towards him so that they within 30 centimetres of each other. He leans his head to his right side and smirks at Domen. “Took you long enough to notice.”, he almost whispers. Domen inhales sharpy. “You are flirting with me? I thought Lovro was crazy.”, shakes Domen his head. Suddenly every interaction with the Norwegian is painted in a new light.

Benjamin brushes a strand of Domens hair out of his face. Slightly he brushes over his temple. Domen shutters again. Like he did that morning. “Oh, are you cold? We can try cuddling to warm you up.”, Benjamin repeats his words with the right corner of lip raised, forming a half grin. “Oh my god.”, the Slovene mumbles more to himself. How did he not get this? He would like to slap himself for that level of obliviousness. “If it helps you, it makes you even more charming.” “It doesn’t.”, Domen laughs and put his gaze towards the floor. His cheeks are getting hot meaning he is probably blushing. He can feel Benjis finger under chin, raising so that he looks at him again. Benjamin is still smiling, like he always does when he is around Domen. “This doesn’t have to change a thing between us, if you don’t want to. I have been your friend, and I will still be your friend, if you are not interested in me like that.” Like most of the time, Domen doesn’t know how to respond. He takes in the man in front of him. With his blond brownish hair that Domen always wanted to run his hand through. The blue eyes that always remind him of something he can’t grasp. Then he knows how to respond. Without thinking too much about its Domen closes the gap between them completely and kisses the Norwegian. Benjamin doesn’t even need a second to react and pulls him closer. Hand on his hip. The feeling is electric. Better than flying down a ski flying hill. Domen wraps his arms around Benjis neck, while he still kisses the soft lips of the Norwegian.

Out of breath Benjamin is the one to end the kiss. Not without giving him another short peck. Domen can feel his heart racing and he already misses his lips. Benjamin has a look on his face that he rarely has seen. He looks pleased, satisfied. “Finally.” Domen can’t help but lick over his lips to get the taste of Benji back. “How long?”, he dares to ask even if he doesn’t really want to know the answers. Too embarrassing. Benjamin shrugs. “Two years. Give or take.”  Domens eyes get big. “God. I am so sorry.” “I mean at first, I was more subtle, but it was my new years resolution do finally really act on this. So, it took you less than a month.” Domen hides his face behind his hands. “Lovro had to tell me. Who knows, how long I would have taken.” Benjamin wraps his hand around Domens and forces them out of his face. “I will say thank you to him, when I see him the next time. But now we have a date.” He intertwines their fingers and presses another short kiss on Domens lips. “Well, if they still take us. We probably missed our reservation.”, Domen smiles at him. “If so, we can just go somewhere else. But that Date in Japan is still on too, right?”

[sketchyorsomething]

A Shoulder To Cry On - Fic

(This is crossposted on Ao3, so click this link if you prefer to read it there! Over there you'll find a more detailed conclusion/explanation in the end notes, but it's not neccessary to understand this fic. The Tags are mainly friendship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort; if you want to stay on tumblr you can find the fic underneath the cut)

Author's Notes: It's a little crazy that I'm already able to post this, but it felt like the fic wrote itself. (And more are maybe coming, depending on how much I have to do in the next weeks; Though I can't really say they're all that much happier, somehow all of them end up a little angsty and I don't know what to do against that)

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I obviously don't know any of them personally and also - seeing that the topic is quite a difficult one - never went through the same kind of questioning and fearing, simply because of different cultural and social backgrounds than I think someone in their situation would have gone through. (Read: I didn't grow up in a catholic bavarian household in the 90s/early 2000s)

And again the biggest thanks to my wonderful beta-reader @skijumpingf1

Oberstdorf, January 2025

 

 

Deep breaths. Breathe in, stop thinking for a moment. One, two, three. Breathe out. How is Stephan-

 

Stop thinking, Andreas thought to himself. Stephan is doing fine, you know that, idiot. He told you this morning.

 

Andreas took another breath. Will Stephan watch this competition? Probably not, it'd start around midnight for him. Though Andreas could use some encouragement. He could use some love right now, when everything seems to fall apart around him.

 

Normally, Stephan would anchor him into the present, would calm him down and tell him that his worries are irrational. But Stephan's not here, not part of the world cup team. The last time that happened was because of their injuries. But now no one is injured and no one knows why Stephan is suddenly doing so bad. (Andreas knows why. The safe world they grew up in is ripping at the seams, a bubble about to burst. Stephan just doesn't want to talk about it in the way Andreas himself does, but it affects him as well)

 

They are supposed to be professional, Andreas should start and act that way.

 

But how could he when he still feels the same anxiety his 18-year old self did, all those years ago. When he still tears up in the same way he did, back when he first told his team, before the Olympics in Sochi.

 

He remembers how much he worried about his team mates' reaction, even about landing in a russian prison. Sometimes, the fear still haunts him. Sometimes like right now. Arguably, not the best moment, when he should be preparing for ski flying and definitely not professional behaviour.

 

Slow breaths, Andreas. Calm down. There is no need to spiral right now. And definitely no need to panic . No one will know, unless he actually tells the public, tells everyone that he isn't straight – that's what Stephan always says to him. People are oftentimes too focused on their reality, their truths, that those who disapprove of gay relationships won't see him as gay. See them as gay, as partners, boyfriends. They will be known as colleagues, team mates, friends. But not as lovers.

 

Andreas hopes there is some truth behind Stephan's words. He doesn't need more negative attention than he already gets.

 

Whether it's the usual „What was up with that jump?“ or the classic „You had such a good preparation in summer, how do you explain your current performance?“ it doesn't help his situation. Because he knows why. He knows why he can't focus, why he doesn't jump on the same level he used to. But he won't be able to tell the press why. They won't like hearing that he fears the future, fears his rights being taken away, fears the Worldcup taking place in more and more countries who hate people like him.

 

It makes him feel so helpless.

 

Which really isn't the best feeling to have right before bolting down one of the steepest hills known to mankind. But alas, here he is.

 

He fixes his glasses one more time and Stefan lowers the flag.

 

Maybe the whistling of the wind will finally silence his thoughts. It's worth a try.

 

The inrun is incredibly loud, he doesn't even hear the thousands of fans down the hill.

 

The edge is coming closer and closer. He jumps.

 

The wind is pushing him downwards, right into the awaiting arms of gravity.

 

His jump is garbage.

 

Worse than in the first round.

 

Andreas is glad, Stephan isn't watching this right now.

 

He lands and just shakes his head in disbelief. He doesn't even know what he’s gonna tell the media later.

 

Maybe Sevi will already wait for him. It's horrible. Sevi's time worrying about him should be long gone, his performance shouldn't be something Sevi has to continue to justify. But he will. He is simply too good of a friend to talk badly about him.

 

 

 

„Germany had big hopes that you, as the vice-world champion, would recover from your little slump of form here in Oberstdorf.” Andreas just nodded along the introduction of the question. He had hoped that as well. And then Stephan was taken out of the team, more or less permanently at that, and he knew that this hope was really just a dream. „Is there an explanation as to why team Germany is currently so bad?“

 

He grimaced. „Well, I know that for me personally, there are a few little details that I need to work on. My position in the inrun was too high up, so that I couldn't really feel the edge.“ Look at him, talking about mistakes in his technique instead of missing Stephan. Very professional.

 

(Judging by Sevi's sceptical glance, he can see right through it)

 

„But as you already said, that is such a little mistake! Does that alone really make the difference between landing on the podium and barely making the second round?“ That's a mean question. Andreas closed his eyes for a second, really more blinking than anything else. He needed to collect his thoughts or he'll say something stupid.

 

„That’s really the way it goes sometimes. Especially nowadays, those little details do make the difference between place 1 and 30.“ Severin, you are a blessing. Andreas should really tell him that more often. „Although it feels very extreme this season, there is almost no midfield.“ Andreas just nodded along.

 

„Absolutely, though I can't really pinpoint what changed to make it seem like that.“, he agreed with Sevi.

 

„Are you in any way affected by all the discussions around the material, like stuff aside from just the hill?“, Severin asked. Andreas should take back what he has thought earlier. That question is definitely targeting Stephan. Sevi knows. Why does he need to ask again?

 

„Well, sure, these discussions, those which aren't directly related to ski jumping itself, can be very exhausting and in the current case, upsetting and frustrating.“ Andreas tried to keep it as vague as possible. „However, I wouldn't go that far and accuse anybody of cheating. Everybody tries to gain some sort of advantage above the other nations, and in the current situation it seems to work better for the austrians than for everybody else." That's good, he’s very professionally avoiding Severin's actual question. He can see a grin spreading on Sevi's face. He outplayed him. Ha, loser. Andreas always likes interviews with Severin, they are great.

 

„But what about the Slovenians? Do you think they are cheating, since three of them got disqualified in this competition but still one of them won?“, the Journalist asked, effectively ending their silent conversation.

 

„I wouldn’t go that far and call it cheating.“ Andreas answered truthfully. „Everyone knows that the Slovenians are really good at ski flying and everyone knows that they're willing to risk a lot with the sizing of their suits. A Slovenian disqualification isn't a new phenomenon. We've got the controls, and I trust them, if they make it through. And I mean, we just saw that even a Stefan Kraft isn't infallible".

 

„As we can see there seems to be understanding for one another in the Ski Jumping Family", the reporter concluded, „Thank you for the interview, Andi Wellinger".

 

„Thank you", he responded.

 

Sevi was smiling in his direction, but that was just for the camera. He could see his question in his eyes. Andreas should get going.

 

He turned around to finally go away, as the woman next to him started shuffling in her notes. He already exited the booth when he heard Severin calling out his name. „Andi!“

 

He paused, „What?“. Andreas felt like he was shrinking. His whole posture collapsed. He felt like the boy again, who confessed his biggest secrets to Severin, simply because he needed support on the road.

 

Severin was smiling at him, eyes crinkling in concern. „We’re meeting up for dinner, right?“

 

Or, if Andreas may translate, 《I'm staying in the same hotel as you are, so come to me, and tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you》

 

„Yeah, sure. See you there.“ Andreas answered and turned around. He hoped Sevi got the hint that, maybe, he'll think about telling him. Not definitely agreeing, but also not declining. His answer is rather a plea for more time.

 

---

 

It was quiet when they ate dinner. Nobody really said a word, or asked a question which required more than a vague noise of agreement. Severin was clearly bothered by it, Andreas could tell. He has always been keen on talking everything out.

 

His phone beeped. Stephan? No, he should be sleeping.

 

It wasn't Stephan.

 

《How about we go for a drink in Willingen next week, you look like you need a hug》

 

Wanki !

 

《Shouldn't you be sleeping as well? But yeah, that sounds nice 》 Andreas answered.

 

《Shouldn’t you be celebrating podiums?》First of all, rude. But before Andreas could even be angry, he received another message. 《I'm too jetlagged, so no, I'm not sleeping. You wanna talk about it?》

 

《I'll tell you next week, please just tell me that Stephan's taking this better than I do. Also, I think Sevi will be disappointed if I don't talk to him tonight; and who am I to bear Severin's disappointment?》he let his friend know.

 

《That's good, please talk to someone! And I do think Stephan takes the decision way better than you do, so no worries here.》

 

《He doesn't want to take somebody else's place, right? He’s just too good for this world, tell him, I love him》

 

《Tell him yourself, he is your boyfriend, not mine》Meanie. 《Good night, try to get some sleep tonight》

 

《Says the right one, go to sleep. I don't want you to fall down the coaching tower :P》

 

 

„Andreas?“, his coach looked at him expectantly.

 

„What?“, he asked confused. „Sorry, I needed to respond to that.“ Using his phone while the others were eating (he should be too) was really impolite. Still, his coach's expression softened.

 

„Was it Stephan? Shouldn't he be asleep by now?“

 

„No, it was Wanki. But I'm not sure if that makes it any better“, Andreas shrugged.

 

His coach just shook his head in disbelief.

 

Andreas grinned and picked up his fork again.

 

 

 

„I'd like to ask you to finally tell me what's bothering you", Severin started as he sat down next to Andreas. „But you seem a little happier since you texted Wanki".

 

„I'm not, exactly. But I feel a little lighter just knowing that I will – eventually – talk about it.“ Andreas tried to shrug it off. „Though I promised him that I'd talk to you tonight.“

 

„Well, then, go ahead. I'm listening"

 

Andreas found that actually saying all the right words was harder than he wanted them to be. Deep breaths, Andreas, deep breaths. He had a lump in his throat just thinking about it.

 

„You remember the night I first came out to you all, right?“, he finally began. Severin just nodded, frowning a little in confusion. „I was so afraid back then, afraid of what you guys might think and afraid of what could happen if the wrong people hear about it, because, you know, it was forbidden during the Olympics in Sochi. I wasn't allowed to be myself, even if no one knew about who I truly was. I hated that I was gay, had been even way before that, and I hated that I couldn't fully concentrate on jumping because I could never change that part about me, so the fear of being discovered would always stay.“ He rambled.

 

He still feels so much like the boy he was that night, and that is his problem.

 

„I don't think I ever really coped with that fear, I've always been afraid of that part of myself, no matter how much good stuff happens.“ He let out a breath. And another one. And another one. He doesn't even know when he breathed in for the last time.

 

He heard his blood pumping through his veins, felt his hands shake, saw his vision blurring with tears. The lump in his throat made swallowing hard, he felt like vomiting.

 

Sevi's hand was on his shoulder, embracing him in a side hug. If Andreas forced himself to listen through the blood roaring in his ears, he could hear the soothing sound of Severin's voice.

 

„I hate it", he gasped.

 

„Shhh, it's alright", Severin tried to calm him down. „What do you hate?“

 

„I hate that-", he forced another breath into his lungs, „that I’m still the same, after all these years.“

 

„Yes, you are.“ Severin agreed with him. Not exactly what Andreas needed right now. „You are still one the most open-hearted, most loving people I know. That hasn't changed, you're right.“

 

„Thank you for the compliment", Andreas grinned through his tears. „But I hate that I still have the same fears and the same reactions to when one of them comes true – or even if it just might come true"

 

„What do you fear, then? What do you think will happen?”

 

„It's just with everything that happens right now-", Andreas tried to find the right words. „You know, I think we as a society really made some big steps forward in the last couple of years. And I became so optimistic about it and finally ripped the metaphorical bandaid over the fear of coming out, of my sexuality off. And you know, I became very happy, finally confessed my feelings for Stephan and so on. I finally felt like I was living in a safe world. But now that safety, the security, seems like it will be torn away from me again.“

 

„I don't think I can quite follow", Severin admitted. Andreas chuckled.

 

„Politics, Sevi. I'm talking about the shitshow that is our current politics "

 

„Oh", was all he could say to that. „Which-", he paused. „Which party do you fear most?“

 

„Are you really asking that? Shouldn't it be obvious?“ Normally Severin wasn't this dense. He knows, or he should know at the very least. „The Firewall is crumbling, and everything more to the right from that wants to ban same-sex marriage again.“

 

Andreas took a breath. He could feel the cold creeping into him, but the crisp air helped a little to calm him down. The stars sparkled above him. „I want to marry Stephan one day, Sevi"

 

„I know, and you should.“ Severin agreed. Andreas could feel he wanted to say more. „I wish I could tell you that I get it, that I understand what you are saying, but I don't want to presume that. I didn't experience what you did, both your fears and the joys. But I will tell you, that I'm always there if you need a shoulder to cry on. And that I’ll obviously try to stop your fears from becoming the reality, but in my mind, voting for democratic parties really is more common sense than anything else.“

 

„Thank you, Sevi.“ Andreas smiled sadly. „I appreciate it".

[wie-sagt-man-noch]

Lellinger: The way I love you - Part 10 /10

Masterpost | AO3 | FF | Prev

With a soft sigh. Past exhaustion and frustration and despair, like it’s the only good thing left. Sometimes it is.| 1.1k

April 2020, Weißbach

Der Himmel über seiner Heimat ist strahlend blau. Die Sonne scheint, der Wind gleicht einer lauen Brise – für April ist es ungewöhnlich warm. Der Garten seines Elternhauses erstreckt sich vor ihm, gepflegt sieht er aus. Die ländliche Idylle wird von Vogelgezwitscher begleitet, während Andreas auf dem hölzernen Balkon sitzt und missmutig die Augen schließt. Eigentlich sollte er die Ruhe und das gute Wetter genießen – unter normalen Umständen würde er das vermutlich auch tun. Von der gewohnten Normalität ist derzeit allerdings nicht mehr viel übrig, auch wenn die malerische Szenerie, in der er sich befindet, etwas anderes vermuten lässt.

Die Welt befindet sich seit einigen Wochen in einem Ausnahmezustand, Corona hat die Nachrichten und das Leben aller fest im Griff. Das Virus grassiert und hat alles bis dato Gekannte auf den Kopf gestellt. Kontaktbeschränkungen, überfüllte Krankenhäuser, leere Straßen – nichts ist mehr so, wie es vorher war. Er selbst wäre beinahe nicht mehr zurück nach Deutschland gekommen, als er seine Schwester im März in Australien besucht hat. Die Zeit dort war wunderschön und unbeschwert – zum ersten Mal seit langer Zeit hatte er dort das Gefühl, endlich wieder im Moment zu leben. Er konnte abschalten und seine eigene Verletzungsmisere des vergangenen Jahres ausblenden.

Zumindest so lange, bis Stephan Anfang März gestürzt ist und sich ebenfalls sein Kreuzband gerissen hat. Die Nachricht hat ihn jäh auf den Boden der Tatsachen zurückgeholt. Er hat seinen Freund umgehend angerufen und war bereits dabei, seinen Rückflug vorzuverlegen, aber Stephan hat darauf bestanden, dass er in Down Under bleibt. So entspannt wie die letzten Tage hab’ ich dich lang nicht mehr gesehen, bleib'. Bitte. Dabei hat er ihn fast schon flehend angesehen, als sie gefacetimed haben. Hier kannst du eh nichts machen, bleib' so lang wie geplant – ich lauf' nicht weg hat er gesagt und Andreas musste tatsächlich schmunzeln. Andreas ist geblieben, auch wenn zu diesem Zeitpunkt bereits die ersten Reisewarnungen wegen des Coronavirus ausgesprochen wurden.

Ernst genommen hat er sie nicht, wie so viele andere auch. Was soll schon passieren, hat er zu seiner Schwester bei einem gemeinsamen Abendessen gesagt. Sie sehen sich ohnehin viel zu selten, seit Julia in Australien lebt. Er hat die nächsten zwei Wochen mit ihr mehr als genossen, die neu gewonnene Leichtigkeit hat ihm unfassbar gutgetan.

Vermutlich hätte er dennoch abreisen sollen, aber später ist man immer klüger, heißt es. Im Nachhinein betrachtet ist es auch nicht sonderlich klug gewesen, bei stärkerem Wellengang surfen zu gehen. Andreas hat es trotzdem getan und dafür die Quittung bekommen. Eine Welle hat ihn unvorbereitet erwischt und ihn von seinem Bord geworfen - dabei ist unglücklich mit seinem Schlüsselbein auf dem Bord aufgeprallt und hat es sich prompt gebrochen. Der heiße Schmerz hat ihm im ersten Moment den Atem geraubt, dann war er auch schon unter Wasser. Zum Glück war er bereits relativ nah am Strand, sodass er sich schnell aus dem Wasser begeben konnte – aber ihm ist in diesem Moment klar geworden, dass die Verletzung ernst sein muss.

Stunden später ist er bereits operiert worden. Als er später aus der Narkose wach geworden ist, war ihm zum Heulen zumute. Wieder ein Rückschlag, dabei wollte er diesen Sommer doch endlich wieder voll ins Mannschaftstraining einsteigen. Wieder Schmerzen, wieder Reha, alles wieder von vorne. Dazu noch Stephan, der ihn dieses Mal nicht mit seinem unerschütterlichen Glauben unterstützen können wird, weil der seinen ganz eigenen Leidensweg vor sich hat.

Hinzu kam, dass sein geplanter Rückflug wegen des Virus annulliert wurde und er deswegen beinahe nicht hatte ausreisen können. Ja, Andreas hätte seinem ersten Impuls nachgeben sollen. Dann würde er jetzt nicht mit geschientem Arm bei seinen Eltern auf dem Balkon sitzen, sondern fit bei Stephan sein und zur Abwechslung mal für ihn da sein können. Hätte ihm im Alltag helfen können, weil er weiß, was Stephan gerade durchmacht und an welcher Stelle er ihm das Leben leichter machen kann. Er hätte ihm Tag für Tag sagen können, dass er an ihn glaubt und dass das alles wieder wird, hätte Stephans Launen ausgehalten und ihm gezeigt, dass er sich auf ihn verlassen kann. Dass er ihn liebt – in guten wie in schlechten Zeiten, egal wie kitschig sich das anhört.

Andreas hätte so vieles tun können, aber die Realität sieht anders aus. In ihr hat er jedes Mal starke Schmerzen, wenn er seine rechte Schulter nur leicht bewegt und Stephan hat er seit über einem Monat nicht mehr persönlich gesehen – Andreas fühlt sich schlicht und ergreifend miserabel. Er ist erschöpft, kann nachts kaum schlafen, weil seine Schulter dumpf pocht und seine Gedanken rasen. Seine Laune ist unfassbar schlecht, er spricht mit seinen Eltern häufig nur das Nötigste, obwohl sie die Letzten sind, an denen er seinen Frust herauslassen sollte. Andreas weiß, wie privilegiert er eigentlich ist. Seine Eltern kümmern sich liebevoll um ihn – er ist nicht allein wie so viele andere Menschen in der aktuellen Situation. Er weiß das alles, aber es ändert nichts daran, dass er unglaublich enttäuscht und wütend ist. Auf sich selbst am meisten, was ihn nur noch frustrierter werden lässt. Dazu kommt, dass er Stephan wahnsinnig vermisst und ihm gegenüber ein unglaublich schlechtes Gewissen hat. Der wiederum hat ihm vorhin am Telefon gesagt, dass er das nicht haben muss, Unfälle passieren, Andi, und war wie immer unglaublich verständnisvoll.

Sie telefonieren oder facetimen täglich und Andreas ist unfassbar froh über diese Routine. Manchmal witzelt Stephan darüber, dass sie ab nächstem Jahr das Kreuzbandzimmer sein werden. Er plant voraus, glaubt an sie beide und lächelt wissend in die Kamera, wenn er davon spricht. Ohne Stephan würde er durchdrehen, da ist Andreas sich sicher. Andreas bewundert ihn für seine Stärke, seine Ruhe und seine Zuversicht – vorhin hat er ihm genau das auch gesagt. Stephan ist ein wenig rot geworden, während sich ein Strahlen auf sein Gesicht gelegt hat. Bei dem Anblick hat sich eine bekannte, wohlige Wärme in Andreas' Bauch ausgebreitet, während sein Herz etwas schneller geschlagen hat. Das leise geseufzte Ich liebe dich konnte und wollte er nicht zurückhalten, weil er es genau in diesem Moment überdeutlich gespürt hat. Ich liebe dich auch hat Stephan ohne zu zögern geantwortet, bevor sie sich kurz darauf voneinander verabschiedet haben.

Inzwischen hat sich ein leichtes Lächeln auf Andreas' Lippen gebildet. Er öffnet die Augen, blinzelt der Sonne entgegen, atmet tief ein und wieder aus. Zwischen all dem Frust glimmt zum ersten Mal seit seiner erneuten Verletzung ein wenig Zuversicht. Wenn alles um ihn herum zusammenbricht, nichts mehr so ist, wie es war, und alles schief zu laufen scheint, dann ist da immer noch Stephan. Stephan, den er liebt und der genau dasselbe für ihn fühlt.

Wenn das am Ende bleibt, ist alles mehr als okay.

[milktrician]

didn't think i'll also get this done today, but some cover art for my fic Shang Qinghua's Reincarnation Survival Guide.

[tinynerdycthulu]

tbh i dunno why so many sj apologists are anti-yqy. because like????? he is your mascot. he was the originator. the head honcho of excusing sj's levels of unmitigated villainy. look into my eyes and tell me that qi ge wouldn't blush and kick his feet if he saw xiao jiu commit murder. actually we don't NEED to imagine bc jiumei did just that and yue qi just grabbed his hand and ran, no thoughts head empty. arson? child abuse?? yue qi doesn't care. whatever makes xiao jiu happy <3