#sj fic

[skijumpingf1]

The End (D.Prevc X D.Tande)

This was my way of coping with Daniels retirement. So this oneshot is about the whole situation around the retirement (Domiel´s version). I was on a field trip from uni these past weeks so had to write this on my phone, and it is probably not as good because I hate to write on my phone. But I had like an urge to do this. So enjoy! This is set in my interconnected oneshot series (last part is here) and it is from Domens perspective just to let you know.

Wordcount: 3984

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I am a bit nervous as I stand in the arrival hall at the airport in Ljubljana. Daniel was just training over in Norway and seeing his family. Judging by his mood over the phone at least one of those didn’t go so well. He seemed a bit stressed, but he wouldn’t tell me why. Maybe he hasn’t figured it out yet. I hope it has nothing to do with the fact that he officially moved to Slovenia a few months ago. He seemed happy with it but maybe he got homesick.

After planica it was pretty clear that Daniel would move and not me. Still, I gave it a bit of thought and he spoke to his family. His mom was hesitant, but she loves us together (and me too) and she knew that we were ready for the next step. Our national teams were pretty open about it too. So, we went apartment hunting in the area of the airport. The commute from our home to the airport shouldn’t be high when he would fly that much. To be honest, the first few weeks were a bit like heaven and hell at the same time. Heaven in the way that we could finally spent as much time together as we want. Hell because we went public at the same time and we may have underestimated the attention we would get. Especially here.

We were recognized almost every time we went outside. That lead to us not going anywhere which wasn’t good for Daniels acclimatization here in Slovenia. Eventually the attention got less and less, and we could move on.

Now that Daniel lives with me, it is my regular duty to collect him at the airport. I still love seeing him again. But today I am not just thrilled that my boyfriend is back.

His flight has landed about fifteen minutes ago and customs and stuff is always quick here so he should be out any minute. The door between the secluded area and the world outside opens and a few people in suits step out. I peak behind them. Daniel is coming out next. Automatically I form a smile at him. I spot him first and I get a moment of just looking at him when he doesn’t feel seen. He looks worried. Or stressed. Maybe unsure even. I swallow hard. So, it wasn’t my imagination that something was up. Then he notices me and his face lights up. His steps are getting faster and then he is back with me. I open my arms and pull him into a tight hug. “I missed you so much.”, I greet him.

“I have been gone for just six days.” “Yes, and? I still missed you.” The apartment was painful quiet without him. I even went to my parent’s house for a night. Officially to hang out with my sisters but I was there because I couldn’t stand the emptiness.

“I missed you too.” He presses a small kiss to my lips and takes my hand. I grab his suitcase but not without him complaining that he could do it himself. On the drive back home, he updates me on his family who are planning on visiting in a few months. This makes me think that something on the ski jumping side is up. Which is kinda scary. His from isn’t the best right now but he never acted this down. Something must have happened. Did he fall again and not told me? Or the team? After last season the whole dynamic changed. It wouldn’t surprise me if there would be still tensions inside team Norway after that.

“What’s up?”, I ask when I put a glass of wine in front of his face. We reheated the Lasagne that I made this morning for us (Yes, I actually can do a proper lasagne.) Now he is already sitting down waiting for me to do the same. “Nothing is up. Should be something up?” I take a sip from my glass and sit down. “I don’t know. Tell me.” He frowns a bit. His beautiful face is making a grimace. “I hope it is nothing major, so I didn’t want to tell you. You know the rule. I don’t know if I am really serious yet.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Oh god. He is thinking about retirement. That’s out rule. No talk about retiring if you are not serious.

I know him. The way he acts, the way he talked. He really thinks about it. “But you are serious considering it, aren’t you?” “I mean, it crossed my mind a few times. Especially this past week.” He doesn’t look at me. Daniel studies the tablecloth. I reach over the table and take his hand. “It is okay, Daniel. If you are considering it, talk it through with me.”  He finally looks up and I can spot a few tears in his eyes. I squeeze his hand tighter. “I know how hard Peros retirement was for you. I don’t want to burden you with another potential hard hit.” “You know the worst part was that he didn’t spoke to me, right? So, talk to me. Why are you considering it?” I can’t believe we are actually having this conversation now. In a few years for sure but it is so soon. Obviously, I would respect his decision either way, but I would miss him greatly in world cup.

“After Planica I hoped that every time, I would jump the fear would be getting less overwhelming and at the beginning it was like that. I don’t know what changed but now it feels like the opposite. Every time I am at the gate the fear is getting stronger and stronger again. Maybe it has to do with my bad form and that I am not trusting myself a hundred percent. Maybe it is me getting older.” Gosh sometimes I hate him. Why doesn’t he tell me stuff like this? It must be overwhelming to fear the thing he loves. Conflicting and hurtful. I know how much he loves it. I have seen it first hand. It is a passion we share. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to start losing it.

Daniel takes a sip from his wine. The Lasagne is long forgotten. “Do you think it could change again when you get into shape?” He raises his shoulders and sighs. “That’s what I am trying to find out.” I run my hand through my hair. That is a lot to be honest. “Ok.  If you want to talk it through, let me know. And I mean it. If you can’t sleep because of it wake me up.” He raises an eyebrow and puts a hand on my cheek. “I will try but I know that topic is hard for you too.” “Obviously I want you to continue with ski jumping. It means that we can spent so much more time together. Especially since it would be the first season since we are out. But if you just torture yourself with it, let it be. I can understand it. Ultimately ski jumping should bring you more joy than fear.”

Ziga stares worriedly at me when lift my weights. There is really no reason for it. I am doing everything like I do usually. Same weight, same posture. “What?”, I ask my teammate as soon as I set the weights down. “You just look emotional. That is rare.” “Very rare.”, adds Lovro who just finished his rotation on the weights too. I sigh and let myself sit down at the bench. “A lot on my mind recently.”, is my vague answer to the unasked question. “Care to elaborate?” I actually would but it is not my thing to share. So, I couldn’t. Also, it wasn’t like Daniel made up his mind in the last two days. Even though I think I know in which direction he will decide. Subconsciously he knows he can’t continue. But he needs to figure it out himself.

“Nope. I don’t want to elaborate.” “Ah, it is Daniel. Do you want to propose? I mean I think you guys are endgame, but you just moved in together. Maybe wait at least half a year.”, Timi chimes in. My eyes widen. Proposing and marriage can wait a few more years. Until we are comfortable living together. “No, I am not proposing. It just complicated stuff. Stuff that I can’t really talk about now.”  My teammates look not sacrificed but that is not my problem. “Don’t you think Daniel would be okay with you talking about it with your friends? I mean he knows how teams work. He probably talks about you with his teammates as well.” Normally I would agree but this is a sensitive topic. Daniel isn’t sure yet. And I don’t want him to get pressure from the guys since he trains with us quite often. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk about it with you guys.” I wink at them and stand back up. Lovro rolls his eyes. “Idiot.”

When I come home a few hours later. Another car is parked in front of the house. A car that I am pretty familiar with. What is Peter doing here? Did I forget that we were supposed to babysat today? Normally Peter would remind me twice before he brings his kids to our home. Slowly I enter the airy apartment that always reminds me of Daniels flat in Oslo. “I know it is a hard decision, but I don’t think it is a decision anymore.”, I hear my brother speaking. Oh. Seems like Danny invited my brother to talk about his potential retirement. Judging by Peros last sentence he also thinks that Daniel already made up his mind.

“I am home.”, I call out loudly to make my presence know. It was only fair, and I don’t want to spy on boyfriend. I take off my jacket while I hear rumbling in the living room. Seconds later Daniel is standing in the small hallway. A half smile on his lips. He is wearing jeans. Probably because Peter is over. Normally he prefers sweats at home. Or just boxers, my favourite choice. He closes the distance between us and puts an arm around my torso to pull me in. “Hei.”, he whispers. We are so close that I can feel his breath on my lips. I lean in and kiss him softly. As soon as I wrap my arms around him, I can hear a mumbled noise. Peter. I almost forgot he is here too. Reluctant, I let go of my boyfriend.

“Hello Peter.” My brother is standing in the doorway and has a smile on his lips. He is always so weird about Danny and me. He still looks so ... proud, I guess. As if he still couldn’t believe it. “I don’t want to annoy you guys any longer. Daniel if you want to talk again, I am free most of the time.” Peter pats me on the shoulder when he passes us on the way to wardrobe. “Or you could stay for dinner. If Mina doesn’t mind of course. Daniel made Kjøttboller.” Both of them look at me in surprise. It was not typical for me at all to spend more time with Peter than I needed. Especially outside of our childhood home. Mum hosts a Dinner once a week since I moved out. Whenever we could, Tuesdays were spent there. Recently I used this to speak with Peter more. It is weird but I miss him around. Apart from the dinner I only see him at hand overs for babysitting.

“If it wouldn’t burden you, I would love to try whatever Daniel made.”, Peter replies. “Don’t expect too much. There just meatballs.”, says Daniel and than he presses as short kiss to my lips.

“Do you have time to fly to Norway soon?” We are both not sleeping that night. He didn’t tell me that he is going to retire yet. But I know he knows that I know. If that makes sense. Daniel probably hasn’t said it out loud yet. Not even to himself. Saying something makes something more official. It is like when you say I love you for the first time. It is a big step that can’t be taken back. Nevertheless, the unspoken words are hanging between us. Both too restless to sleep because of it.

“I am going to Wisla. But I could fly to Norway before or after that.”, I answer his question. His hand is running over my chest. It is dark so I can’t really see him, but I think he is sitting a bit up. “I need you there when I tell people. Without you I can’t do it.” “Of course. Tell me when to book flights and I will do the rest.” I swallow hard. Just don’t start to cry, Domen. Daniel is now living here. I will see him more often now since he doesn’t need to go back to Norway that often. And Danny will probably come to a few competitions at least. I close my eyes. “I am proud of you.”, I say and try to hide my trembling voice. “Don’t you think it is cowardly to just give up? To just retire?” There it is. Retire. Fully officially spoken. I turn to my side to face him. I trace his hand on my chest and take it into my hand. “I think it is brave that you know when to stop and to leave the world you have known forever.” It is quiet on the other side of the bed for a few moments. “Thanks, I needed to hear this.” “I love you, Daniel. Of course, I know what you need and now you need a big cuddle session.” As I speak, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into my side. “I love you too.”

The whole flight to Oslo, Daniel squeezed my hand so bad that I almost asked him if he changed his mind. But the look of relief on his face when he realized that he wouldn’t need to jump this time he was back in Norway, made me realize that he was just scared. Scared of what his family and team will say.

The first stop of our list is his family. Trude Tande breaks out in tears as soon as her son announces his retirement. Tears of relief, I should add. Daniel told me once that she always is nervous watching him jump but after Planica it got worse. After we left his family home, we get to his trainer. The only time Daniel said it makes more sense to be alone when he tells someone. So, I wait in the car. He is already in there for half an hour. I don’t know if it’s long or short for this kind off conversation. I never had one myself and I never occurred to me to ask my brothers about their talks with our coaches. I run my hand through my hair while I text Nika to ask how she has been doing. Our schedules didn’t really align the past couple of weeks, so I just saw her once. I would probably have to wait a few hours for a reply since she is in the gym right now.

I look at the watch in the car. Now it has been 40 minutes. At what point should I go in and storm into the office? An hour? Just as I open the car door, Daniel comes out of the building. His eyes puffy and cheeks red. I slam the car door behind me and take a step towards him. He wraps his arms immediately around me when I reach him and buries his face in my neck. “Everything will be alright.”, I say because I don’t know what else to say. Daniel is clinging onto me, and I brush lightly over his back. “It was just so hard seeing the petty look on his face.”

We stand there for a while. I don’t know for how long exactly. At some point his cries get less and less. “Are you okay getting in the car?”, I ask him. He nods quietly and I let him go but without really letting him go. I still hold his hand until he is sitting in the passenger seat. Before I close the door, I give him a small kiss. I take a deep breath outside the car. It hurts so much seeing him like this. We both know it is the right decision, but ski jumping was such a big part in his life. Of course it hurts.

“Should I call the guys and cancel?”, I speak when we finally reached Daniels flat. He invited his teammates and a few old friends to his apartment in Oslo, which he kept until now. It is time to tell them about the retirement as well but after the conversation with his trainer I don’t know if it is the right thing to do today. Some of his teammates are on the way to Wisla as well and booked their flights over Oslo to be here. But I am sure they would understand if he would cancel. “No. I think I have to do this today and I want them to know.” While I nod, I wrap my arms around his torso. He is too restless to sit down, but I trap him near the couch where I sit. He puts his hands over mine and breaths in. Finally, the nervous energy leaves. “Do you want a shot maybe? Or a glass of wine? Beer?” My boyfriend turns inside my arms until he faces me. I open my legs for him and invite him to take a step closer to me. He runs a hand through my hair. “I have a better idea to get the energy out.”, he smirks. “You know the guys are coming in an hour, right? And we need to do the food.” I know logically that it isn’t a good idea, but I let my hand run down his spine until I reach his ass. “Strong words for someone who is practically forcing me onto his lap.” “Force of habit.”, I reply while I put more force in to get him on top of me. He chuckles. “We make it quick.”

 Daniel looks so much relaxed when the doorbell rings. While I put the last mini pizzas in the oven, he opens the door. Andres Fannemel is the first to arrive. He is already retired and not much around in the ski jumping community at the moment. I probably haven’t seen him in at least two years. But Daniel and him kept close contact. “If you want something to drink, Domen is in the kitchen and will get you something. I just put some music on.”, speaks Daniel and the hallway.

I can hear the steps of the Norwegian and swiftly put the last utensils in the cupboard. “Domen.”, nods Anders when he enters the kitchen. “Hey Anders. How is it going?” The retired ski jumper shrugs. I don’t think he is particularly fond of me. Maybe he thinks it was my fault that we took so long to make our relationship public or maybe he just doesn’t like me. But it has gotten better of the years. “Good actually. How are things with you?” “Still trying to figure my form out. Apart from that everything is relatively fine.” Apart from the fact that all my close people in world cup chose to retire. First Cene, then Mac (who just took a break but somehow hasn’t been back), of course Peter and now Daniel. “Are you coping without Peter in training?” “It has been harder than I thought but it is okay. I am a bit closer to my other teammates now.” I take a glass out and give it to Anders. He looks suspicious at it. “Behind you are the drinks.” “And how are you coping with this?” He pours himself a coke into the glass and leans against the table. “With what?”, I reply hesitantly. A smirk is building on Anders face. “It is kind of obvious. Never have I ever seen that Daniel hosts a team dinner and the way he spoke about ski jumping the last few weeks. You forgot that I am already retired. I know what leads to this decision. So, how are you coping with Daniels retirement?”  

Daniel pops into the kitchen. “Rob just texted that he and the others are almost there. The flight from Trondheim was delayed.” Just as he speaks the doorbell rings, and he is out of the door again. Anders still looks awaiting at me. “For him it is the best decision, and I am happy for him. Personally, I would want him to continue but not under those circumstances. Luckily, we live together now. Without that I would be way more stressed about this.”

Daniels flat is packed with ski jumpers and ex ski jumpers. I get a few surprised glances when Dannys teammates realize that I am also here. It is uncommon that I would join a team get together from team Norway. I mean I have done it from time to time but not regularly. But this one is a Daniels place, so I don’t think it is too strange. But it raises suspicions. Robert takes one look at Daniel when he arrives, and I know that he could tell like Anders. It is the way his gaze softens when he picks up on the energy of Daniel and me.

“So, Daniel, why are we here? What’s up?”, says Marius once everyone is settled in with drinks. My gaze shoots up my boyfriend who is already looking at me. I give him a warm smile and lean a bit against him. Again, I am sitting on the couch, and he is standing. This is our thing now apparently. He sets his hand on my shoulder and holds himself steady. Daniel looks up at his friends. I do the same. Some look worried, some look curios. Anders looks proud. “Ehm, I invited you guys over to officially tell you that I am retiring.” I can feel the way he tenses through his hand on my shoulder. I lay my hand on top his and wait on the reaction of his teammates. Robert is the first to speak. “Daniel it was a pleasure.”, he stands up and gives my boyfriend a hug. “I don’t know what to say. My god, Danny.”, Halvor follows. A few seconds later Daniel is surrounded by his teammates in a big group hug.

Next day is the day of the official public announcement. The team thought it would be fitting to shoot the video at the holmenkollen hill. I must agree that the location is perfect. It still is the last place where Daniel won. I am standing behind the camera and watch my boyfriend prepare. The whole night he was up to find words. “Okay Daniel. When ever you are ready.” And then he begins. He is more pulled together than I thought. A proud smile appears on my face. When our gazes meet, he nods barely visible. “I have given this decision a lot of thought. There is a mental barrier that remains after my fall in Planica, the fear has grown bigger than the joy of jumping.” I smirk when I hear a version of my words from when he told me.

When he is done, he takes a few steps in the direction of the hill. I follow him. Daniel looks up the hill with a smile laugh. “I can’t believe this is it. This is really the end.”

[wie-sagt-man-noch]

Adore You - Lellingerfic

Stephan hat Geburstag und wenn das kein Grund ist, einen Lellingershot zu posten, weiß ich auch nicht.

(Es ist ungelogen 4 Jahre her, seit ich die beiden das letzte Mal geschrieben habe sob)

Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan. Oder: Wer adored hier eigentlich wen? (FF) (ao3)

Die Tür des Hotelzimmers fällt mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss. Er atmet tief ein und hat seine Augen geschlossen, während er sich mit hinter dem Rücken verschränkten Armen an die Türe lehnt. Der ganze Trubel, der gerade noch um ihn herum geherrscht hat, ist verstummt. Stattdessen nimmt ihn eine wohlige Stille in Empfang. Die vielen Fragen der Reporter, die am Ende doch die immergleichen waren, 4,8 Punkte Rückstand vor dem letzten Springen, beunruhigt Sie das? Spüren Sie den Druck, nachdem Sie auf Platz 2 in der Gesamtwertung gerutscht sind, nun deutlicher? hallen nur noch leise in seinem Kopf nach. Andreas atmet noch einmal tief ein und langsam wieder aus, dann öffnet er seine Augen und sieht, dass das Nachtlicht im Schlafbereich angeschaltet ist. Schnell schlüpft er aus seinen Schuhen und lässt seine Jacke achtlos auf den Boden fallen, auch wenn er weiß, dass Stephan später seine Augen verdrehen wird, wenn er das Chaos sieht. In wenigen Schritten ist er im Hauptbereich ihres Hotelzimmers angelangt, wo sein Zimmerpartner mit einem Buch in der Hand in ihrem gemeinsamen Bett liegt. Der Anblick von Stephan, wie er in einem – seinem – ausgewaschenen Shirt und einer schwarzen Jogginghose mit dem Rücken an der Wand lehnt und die Beine entspannt übereinander geschlagen hat, sorgt dafür, dass Andreas' Herz unbeholfen und voller Zuneigung in seiner Brust stolpert.

„Hey“, grüßt Stephan ihn, während er sein Buch zur Seite legt und ihn mit einem warmen Lächeln, was seine Grübchen zum Vorschein bringt, willkommen heißt. Anstatt zu antworten, überbrückt Andreas den Abstand zwischen ihnen, lässt sich neben ihn sinken und umarmt ihn kurzerhand. Die Position ist nicht ideal, aber das stört ihn nicht. Sein Kopf ruht zwischen Stephans Halsbeuge und Brust und wenn er sich etwas streckt, berührt seine Nasenspitze Stephans Hals, während er seinen rechten Arm so gut es geht um den warmen Körper seines Freundes geschlungen hat. Stephans Brust vibriert, als dieser leise lacht und seinen freien Arm ebenso um ihn legt. Fest und warm spürt er die Hand seines Freundes auf seinem Rücken und kann das zufriedene Brummen nicht zurückhalten, während er seine Augen abermals schließt.

„Rutsch mal n' bisschen rüber“, sagt Stephan ruhig, aber bestimmt, während er versucht, seinen rechten Arm unter Andreas hervorzuziehen. Andreas nimmt das zum Anlass, sich noch weiter auf ihn zu schieben, sodass er letztlich komplett auf ihm liegt.

Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass ihm Körperkontakt wichtig ist – dass er ihn aber regelrecht braucht, um sich nach einem anstrengenden Wettkampftag zu sammeln, überrascht ihn selbst immer wieder. Immer, wenn alles um ihn herum laut wird, er im Mittelpunkt des Geschehens steht und ein Interview nach dem anderen gibt, ertappt er sich dabei, wie in ihm die Sehnsucht nach einem Ruhepol aufkommt. Nach jemandem, der ihn im Hier und Jetzt hält, auf den er seinen ganzen Fokus richten kann. Dass er in Stephan eine Person gefunden hat, die genau das für ihn ist, lässt sein Herz noch immer höher schlagen. Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan.

Der hat inzwischen seine frei gewordene Hand in Andreas' Haaren vergraben und massiert mit den Fingerspitzen sacht seinen Kopf. Mit jeder Bewegung spürt Andreas, wie die Anspannung des Tages Stück für Stück von ihm abfällt. Er selbst festigt den Griff um seinen Freund und konzentriert sich voll und ganz auf das wohlige Gefühl, das sich in ihm ausbreitet.

Andreas hat jegliches Zeitgefühl verloren, als er schließlich langsam blinzelnd seine Augen öffnet, den Kopf hebt und aufsieht. Stephans Blick ist noch immer unglaublich warm. Seine dunklen Augen beobachten ihn aufmerksam, während sich feine Fältchen um diese herum gebildet haben. Die Muttermale auf seiner Wange tanzen, als sich ein liebevolles Lächeln auf seine Lippen legt und sich eine feine Röte auf seinem Gesicht ausbreitet. Auch nach so langer Zeit wirkt er noch immer ungläubig und etwas peinlich berührt, wenn Andreas seinen Blick nicht von ihm abwenden kann.

„Hey“, murmelt Andreas schließlich und räuspert sich, weil seine Stimme rauer klingt, als sie es sein sollte. Er schiebt sich etwas nach oben und drückt Stephan einen federleichten Kuss auf den Mundwinkel.

Stephans Blick ruht interessiert auf ihm, „alles okay?“

Andreas h��lt inne und hört in sich hinein – aber außer Entspannung und Ruhe ist da nichts mehr. Keine Stimmen, kein Trubel. Er nickt schließlich. „Ja“, lautet die schlichte Antwort. Stephans Mundwinkel zucken leicht. Andreas weiß, dass dieser jetzt am liebsten noch einmal nachhaken würde, sich das aber verkneift. Deswegen schiebt er ein „wirklich, ich fühl' mich gut“ hinterher und rutscht schließlich von Stephan hinunter, bis er dicht neben ihm sitzt. Seine Hand hat die seines Freundes dabei fest umschlossen, während Andreas ihn vorsichtig anlächelt.

„Ohne dich wär's heute zu viel gewesen“, gibt er schließlich zu, „deswegen danke, dass du da bist. Das alles geht nur, weil du da bist.“ Seine Stimme ist fest und er weiß, dass es kitschig klingt, aber letztlich ist es nur eine Feststellung. Andreas weiß, wie es sich anfühlt, wenn Stephan nicht an seiner Seite ist. Deswegen ist er umso dankbarer, jetzt hier mit ihm und vor allem bei ihm zu sein. „Ich will das", setzt er nach, weil es die Wahrheit ist. Er will den Trubel, die Aufmerksamkeit, die Siege und die knappen Niederlagen und vor allem will er diese Vierschanzentournee gewinnen. Er will alles, auch wenn ihn das manchmal an seine Grenzen bringt.

Stephan mustert ihn eindringlich und schnaubt kurz auf. „Andi - es ist okay, wenn nicht alles in Ordnung ist, das weißt du?“ Andreas nickt nur stumm und etwas hilflos, während er bemerkt, wie unter dem intensiven Blick die Hitze in seinem Gesicht aufsteigt.

„Du packst das. Schließlich bist du dafür geboren“, zitiert Stephan sich selbst und schmunzelt dabei. „Das Interview hab' ich vorhin gesehen, gut zu wissen, dass ich bewundert werde“, steigt Andreas sofort mit ein und stupst sein Gegenüber spielerisch mit der Schulter an. Stephan zuckt daraufhin nur mit den Schultern und versucht, ernst zu bleiben. „Hätte schlecht was anderes sagen können.“ In seinen Augen blitzt der Schalk, während er seine Hand aus Andreas' Umklammerung löst und schließlich seine Arme vor der Brust verschränkt. Seine Mundwinkel zittern verräterisch und es dauert nicht lange, bis er das Lachen nicht länger zurückhalten kann. Andreas kann nicht anders, als mit einzustimmen. Hell und befreit bricht es aus ihm heraus und er kommt nicht umhin zu denken, dass Stefan wirklich das Beste ist, was ihm jemals passiert ist.

Es dauert eine Weile, bis aus dem Lachen ein Glucksen wird, beide schließlich verstummen und sich angrinsen. Von der vorherigen Anspannung ist nichts mehr übrig und Andreas spürt, wie sich eine tiefe Dankbarkeit in ihm ausbreitet. Mit Stephan kann er alles sein, egal ob ernst oder albern. Er muss sich weder für seine überschüssige Energie noch für die Melancholie, die sich nach solchen Tagen über ihn legt, entschuldigen oder erklären. Selbst die Stille, die sich nun zwischen sie gelegt hat, fühlt sich nach Geborgenheit an.

Stephan räuspert sich schließlich und nickt in Richtung Bad, „hab vorhin übrigens die Dusche für dich vorbereitet – dein Lieblingshandtuch und das Entspannungsduschgel liegen bereit.“

Zum wiederholten Mal an diesem Abend setzt Andreas' Herz einen Schlag aus.

„Ich liebe dich.“

Ohne eine Antwort abzuwarten, greift er wieder nach Stephans Hand und drückt einen sanften Kuss auf dessen Handgelenk, genau dort, wo der Puls schlägt. Dann lässt er ihre Hände in seinen Schoss sinken, während Stephan ihn mit leicht geöffneten Lippen und einem Funkeln in den Augen ansieht.

„Kommst du mit ins Bad?“, durchbricht Andreas das Schweigen rasch, während er Stephans Hand leicht drückt. Erwartungsvoll blickt er seinen Freund an, den Kopf hat er dabei etwas schief gelegt.

„Du spielst unfair“, antwortet Stephan nach kurzer Zeit mit belegter Stimme, während Andreas seine Unterlippe leicht nach vorne schiebt, was sein Gegenüber wie erwartet grinsen und schließlich nicken lässt.

Enthusiastisch und etwas ungeschickt steigt Andreas aus dem Bett und zieht einen überrumpelten Stephan dabei mit sich, sodass dieser gegen ihn stolpert. Reflexartig schließt Andreas seine Arme um den anderen, um sie beide zu stabilisieren. Stephans Hände liegen fest und schwer auf seiner Hüfte, während sie so dicht voreinander stehen, dass Andreas Stephans warmen Atem spürt.

Sein Blick huscht über das ihm so bekannte Gesicht und Andreas verliert sich einmal mehr in dem Gedanken, wie schön sein Freund tatsächlich ist. Als Stephan sich etwas von ihm wegdrückt, festigt Andreas seinen Griff instinktiv, nicht bereit, die Nähe zwischen ihnen aufzugeben. Stephan scheint das gar nicht zu bemerken, stattdessen sieht er ihm voller Zuneigung in die Augen, dann streckt er sich etwas und verschließt ihre Lippen zu einem sanften Kuss miteinander.

„Ich liebe dich auch“, murmelt er gegen Andreas' Lippen.

Die Endorphine jagen durch seine Adern, das Glück breitet sich schwallartig in jeder Faser seines Körpers aus, bis da nichts mehr außer Stephan ist. Stephan, dessen Herzschlag er an seiner eigenen Brust spürt, stark und gleichmäßig und unglaublich vertraut. Stephans Hände, die inzwischen langsam, beinahe suchend über seinen Rücken wandern und unter denen er sich so sicher wie nirgends sonst fühlt. Stephan, der ihn immer noch behutsam küsst und dabei leise aufseufzt. Alles fühlt sich unfassbar intim an und Andreas spürt das Verlangen nach mehr, näher, intensiver in sich aufsteigen. Ehe er dem Drang allerdings nachgeben kann, hat Stephan ihren Kuss gelöst und schiebt ihn stattdessen bestimmt in das angrenzende Badezimmer. Wie so oft scheint er zu wissen, was Andreas fühlt, was er braucht, ohne dass sie ein Wort darüber verlieren müssen.

Zum zweiten Mal an diesem Abend fällt eine Tür mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss und zum zweiten Mal lehnt er mit geschlossenen Augen an dieser. Sein Kopf allerdings ist herrlich leer und alles, was er spürt, ist Stephan.

Jetzt gerade ist wirklich alles mehr als okay.

[milktrician]

(what the. who threw a wife plot device in the middle of a peak lord meeting)

i thought about this bit at the end of the airplane extras the other day. bro why are you looking at your coworkers like that rn

[rhiangalaxy]

Shen Jiu and his plant son Shen Yuan <3 (ft. a bonus of YGY and LGG's very different methods of babysitting)

[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. Shen Jiu holds Shen Yuan is his arms, staring towards the audience with a slightly scary, unamused expression. In his arms, Shen Yuan, dressed in Qing Jing teals and greens, appearing to be around the ages of four-six with a darker skin tone, a mole on his forehead and a green sprout popping out of his head, is gazing and reaching out amazedly at a demonic butterfly. End ID]

[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. The top half depicts Yue Qingyuan, cradling a Shen Yuan that is wrapped in blankets and smiling. Then leaning in to give him a forehead kiss. The bottom half depicts Liu Qingge lifting SY by the ankle, much to SY's delight, and then moving him around to the back of himself with a faintly amused expression. End ID]

[tinynerdycthulu]

tbh i dunno why so many sj apologists are anti-yqy. because like????? he is your mascot. he was the originator. the head honcho of excusing sj's levels of unmitigated villainy. look into my eyes and tell me that qi ge wouldn't blush and kick his feet if he saw xiao jiu commit murder. actually we don't NEED to imagine bc jiumei did just that and yue qi just grabbed his hand and ran, no thoughts head empty. arson? child abuse?? yue qi doesn't care. whatever makes xiao jiu happy <3

[fistfuloflightning]

What is that…thing? I was hoping you’d be able to tell me. Because I certainly can’t.

Bai Zhan Peak disciple Shen Yuan and Zui Xian disciple Shen Jiu—mostly for Battle Twink/Drunkard-by-Necessity-Asshole-by-Choice shenanigans

Jiuyuan Week Day 3: QJPL SJ/other peak SY (in which I yet again ignore half the prompt and say they’re both from different peaks)

[shrimpchipsss]

hm... precarious

spiritually from possession by tshirt

[gaywarcriminals]

My hurdle in writing Shen twins/bros AUs is always the fact that a backstory which produces a Shen Jiu will never be a backstory that produces a Shen Yuan. You have to change fundamental parts of one of them if you want them to share an upbringing.

AUs that maintain the element of SY being a transmigrator work the best in that regard, because he can still have 20-some years of being a spoiled son, but even then, the more horrors of SJ's childhood that SY experiences, the more SY would be changed. SY thinking he's fine because it's just a story or because he's mentally an adult would not prevent SY from getting traumatized. Similarly, an AU where SJ grows up as the well cared for second Shen son is going to result in a very different man, because SJ is so heavily shaped by his trauma.

I think this is part of why I find them easier to write as parent and child; the fic conventions are that if SJ is SY's parent, then SJ has clawed himself to a higher position where he can offer SY comfort and stability, and if SY is SJ's parent, then SY changes SJ by giving him an un-traumatizing childhood. Either way, it makes sense for them to be those versions of themselves in that story.

[biinaberry]

Did I make an au just for a rarepair? Yes, but heres my idea of a shen twin au

In my version Shen Yuan transmigrates into the body of 5 yr old Shen Shi, twin of Shen Jiu. It is very important to note that in this au SJ and YQ refer to SY with "A-Shi" and "Xiao-Shi" respectively, and SY takes up the identity of Shen Shi. SY is also fully cognizant when he migrates so he has the complete thoughts of a 20~ yr old while in the body of a 5 yr old. This causes some major dysphoria and also anger at the helplessness of being in a body that does not fit him and also the fact that he has no social nor physical power because he is a child. He also views SJ and YQ as his little brothers even if he is actually the youngest physically.

He eventually is taken in my the Qiu family alongside his brother. It is when SJ starts to bond with Qiu Haitang that it finally pieces together that his brother is going to be SQQ and grieves for the events that he knows is going to happen to him. The building rage and anger at the helplessness of the situation culminates in Shen Yuan starting the massacre with SJ instantly jumping in and causing the majority of deaths. When SJ carries out the unconscious body of Qiu Haitang SY realizes the opportunity in front of him. He knows that she is going to be the kickstarter of his brother's downfall and in that moment grabs the nearest weapon, and with a heavy heart, kills her as SJ watches in shock. He turns to SJ telling him "You can't leave any witnesses, they always eventually spill" before both run off. I dont know what to do with the Wu Yanzi so I'm ignoring it for now. And im also unsure if he gets a system but we'll see.

Eventually they meet up with Yue Qi now Yue Qingyuan and the anger SJ has towards him. SY is also angry but its more so for SJ's sake than his own. The two of them become a part of Cang Qiong sect and while SJ is taken in by the Qing Jing peak, SY is taken in by the beast and flora peak (which I do not have named). They both become head disciples and later peak lords. SY also is able to clock that SQH is not the original version due to airplane saying a modern phrase and a friendship forms. SY is also the one to start biting and defending his brother when QQQ or LQG take potshots at him. It's while they are still disciples that SY meets Su Xiyan while hes on a mission and they worked together for a bit before SXY split. They continued to meet up until eventually a friendship formed and SY meets TLJ a "companion" of SXY. SY clocks who the two of them are goes to SQH to learn all he can about them and their future. SXY and TLJ eventually fall for each other and SY makes sure to prevent the palace master from finding out as long as he can. He also warns them about the palace master and to not trust any letters not hand delivered by SY as he will act as a middle person to make sure no one intercepts them. It is also during this time that SXY and TLJ both gain interest in SY. Neither can explain fully why but his autistic swag, photographic memory and ability to name drop paragraph long information in seconds intrigued them. They start courting him, shen yuan is of course oblivious. It is also important that SY introduced himself to TLJ and SXY with the name "Shen Yuan" so only the two of them refer to each other as such. He also clocks when SXY is pregnant and tells her as such when symptoms start to show and again, not to trust the palace master. By this time he is now a peak lord alongside his brother.

Eventually the old palace master finds out and instead of targeting TLJ, he first targets their lynch pin, shen yuan. He sends letters to SJ and YQY about SY being a traitor. Showing him being a demon sympathizer and hanging out sect secrets that actually SQH was leaking due to the system. SY is captures, a trial occurs and SY is charged as guilty with the punishment of execution, but YQY and SJ object. Since it was CQ secrets he was sharing they have the official say. So instead of execution they instead lock him up on the beast peak using talismans and sigils. He is not allowed to talk to anyone besides fellow peak lords and his head disciple. He cannot leave the peak without another peak lord monitoring him and this also applies when teaching. This lockdown completely breaks him as he lost trust with his family and the confinement dives him crazy as a peak lord he commonly left to document and work upon his bestiaries. This leaves him in a depressive state and constantly paranoid as he cant trust anyone. And No One has told him definitive news if SXY and TLJ are safe, SQH has confirmed that TLJ was not captured and helped SXY but he has no clue where they are now and if baby LBH is with them. As SY is confined on his mountain he stops caring about appearances and starts wasting away seen in image 3. I havent figured the rest out with LBH but he does become a part of cang qiong sect under Qing Jing, the abuse he faces stays the same. If he is raised with TLJ and SXY or by the washer woman I do not know yet. LBH hearing about the rumors of a monster on the beast peak heads out and comes face to face with SY who is delighted to see him but also horrified that about 14+ years have now passed. This pushes him a little out of his depressive episode because now he has a son to take care of and he can't waste away in front of him. He needs to act strong. He teaches LBH the best he can while contained and tells him about his parents. The two form a father son dynamic where both cant really escape the situation they are in but at least have each other for company. SY also holds onto LBH's jade pendant so it isnt lost. He also tells LBH that if he meets a demon named TLJ, to mention the name Shen Yuan.

While on a mission LBH meets up with TLJ and tells him that he's met SY and TLJ loses it (pos). He asks where he is as SXY and TLJ have been trying to find him with no success. He is told that hes on the beast peak in cang qiong and has been contained there for the last 16 years. TLJ then hatches a game plan to free him and the decide to use the immortal conference as a distraction. Most of the cultivation world will be at that conference so minimal security will be held at the sect. They use this to their advantage. TLJ strikes a deal with MBJ to cause a distraction to keep the cultivation world on the two of them even if alarms go off that SY is escaping. MBJ agrees to this as TLJ allows him to target any huan hua disciple he sees (they dont tell SXY this). While they cause a distraction by appearing on the 7th day of the conference, SXY sneaks into cang qiong peak and works on the talisman and sigils. This works and eventually she gets to SY he sees the bad shape he is in, but it was better than what LBH originally saw. The two of them start crying and SXY activates a 2 way communication artifact with TLJ telling him it was a success.

TLJ then turns to MBJ and MBJ teleports, appears in front of SXY and SY and teleports the two of them to the demon world. TLJ then turns to his son who's demon seal now broke and decides to do some father son bonding and the two both go into the eternal abyss together, as this is a tradition for heavenly demons. The two of them return after 1-2 years and have MBJ teleport them out rather than using Xin Mo.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[slow-reader-reads-books]

disciple Shen Jiu au except time is a circle and so upon his death post Bingge torture he wakes up as some random half demon (a baigujing/white bone spirit maybe?) orphan with the name Chun Shi and has his own system forcing him to reenter Qing Jing Peak as a disciple. Not knowing when in time he was born, thinks he's going to enter in the same generation as he did previously but instead finds himself in the same gen as Ning Yingying, Ming Fan, and Luo Binghe, and his own self is their Shizun!

He quickly tries to latch onto Ning Yingying. Unfortunately Luo Binghe has the same idea, and Ming Fan and their Shizun end up abusing the both of them for their proximity to her and for having the gall to even try to succeed. Binghe and Chun Shi grow to hate each other but share a strange camaraderie shrouded in competition.

And then their Shizun has a qi deviation, and Chun Shi, who is Shen Jiu, knows that thing is not himself.

He nervously and stressingly observed the changes and the immediate change in this Shizun towards Luo Binghe. With himself though, this Shizun seems to not recognize him at all. Before, Chun Shi never had plans to divert the fate of Shen Qingqiu, as he himself is Chun Shi, all he needs to do is save his own hide. He may be stuck on the peak thanks to his System but otherwise he can self-preserve to his hearts content.

But this "Shen Qingqiu" is different, and did nothing to build the demise that will face him in the future at the hands of Luo Binghe.

But this Luo Binghe seems dedicated to giving back a hundred fold the small kindnesses that he is now receiving, shamelessly worming his way into Shen Qingqiu's side. Chun Shi is not so motivated...

But he's always been invested in preserving the livelihood and face of Shen Qingqiu. He construes it as an extension of his selfish self preservation, it's not because he's grown greedy for the shelter and guidance and attention of this imposter peak lord who did nothing to deserve his position. He merely wants to know he could prevent his old fate, yes that's it. Nothing else.

And if he can outcompete that little beast of a shixiong for Shizun's affections, then that's an even sweeter plus! He seethed whenever he perceived a loss against him, and Ning Yingying has seemingly caught on to their rivalry, but Chun Shi, Shen Jiu, is a sore loser and won't let Luo Binghe win against him this time.

Shen Qingqiu, Shen Yuan, off to the side is merely charmed by this seeming mob character that's probably been influenced by his own actions into becoming a more prominent fixture of Qing Jing Peak and merely sees this as enrichment for a disciple Luo Binghe. If he has a training partner on his level, won't that promote further growth? So of course he'll invite both into the bamboo house, even if it becomes a little cramped. Brotherly companionship is valuable in these sorts of settings after all!

Eventually the Immortal Alliance Conference comes, and somehow they're both demons??? But the System only forces him to chuck Luo Binghe down into the Endless Abyss?? System I know Bingge has his destiny to achieve but isn't this blatant favoritism!? In what direction, Shen Qingqiu doesn't know, but either way Luo Binghe is gone to them, his loyal filial lotus dead, but Chun Shi, an evergreen pillar of a pine tree, stays by his side.

Chun Shi is gleefully grateful. Guilt twinged in his heart a bit for unknown reasons, but he knew he could nurture his dear imposter self back into happiness. If he's happy, then they can continue their life, both stuck on Qing Jing Peak as they are.

And when the time comes, he can protect him against that grown wild animal they used to keep as a pet, or even properly domesticate it as a gift to Shizun, yes that will do. Leash and chain it to the mountain peak as a little lap dog of a plaything for his husband. What a nice thing to look forward to.

[skijumpingf1]

Pillowtalk (D.Prevc X D.Tande)

Hello guys. I am back with another Domiel fic. This time it is set before the weekend in Oslo when they are finally reunited. There is a lot of talking happening between them hence the title. It´s kinda set in the same universe as my last one (here) but you can read it independently. I hope you like it. 🥰

Wordcount: 3949

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I spot him as soon as I leave the security area of the Oslo airport. This is one of my favourite airports. It’s quiet and airy. But mainly it is the person that picks me up every time I land here, that makes this airport special. He is standing a bit in the back, leaning against a wall, and watching me. I just stop in the middle of the chaos around me and take a moment to look at him. Our eyes meet and a corner of his lips is rising. That small smile is making my heart race faster. God, has he always been this beautiful? His blonde hair is hiding under a grey beanie, but his face is glowing. I can’t do anything against the bright smile that is building on my face.

Suddenly a body runs into me, and I turn around to see who disturbed me. “Shit Domen. Watch out!” Timi is shaking is head at me. Our team and the girls team make quite the entrance. With our skis, teamwear and Lovro who is having his fifteen minutes of energy of the day, we got a lot of eyes on us. It is obvious that we are some kind of sport team, and I am waiting for the first person who is brave enough to come up to us. Over my shoulder I can see how my boyfriend is giggling. Timi follows my gaze. “Ah there was your attention. Why are you still standing here?” I sigh. “Because I´m wearing team gear and we are recognizable that way.” The real greeting would have to wait until I loaded my skis in the team bus. That is the deal with Rob. I could leave with Danny and spend the night with him in his flat when I helped my team with putting everything away. It is a generous offer and I´m sure he is just doing it because I was grumpy the last couple of weeks. Danny already texted me where he parked and there, we could finally be with each other again.

“Why don’t you guys make it public already? This has been going on for years. Wouldn’t it be easier to just do it?” I grab my stuff and shoot a last smile to Daniel. Then I follow my teammates out of the airport. “It is not that easy. There are no other queer male ski jumpers and sadly athletes in a same-sex relationship always get attention and hate. It is a step we can’t take back, you know?” Luckily, it’s not like we are world famous. Normally if I wasn’t here with my team I would have hugged, maybe even kissed, Daniel right there in the airport hall. It is just around ski jumping stuff we have to be careful around. Which still sucks but it is manageable until we decide that we are ready.

Norway greets us with sunshine. The car is already halfway loaded when Timi and I put our skis in the back of the van. Rob, who notices my glances into the direction of the parking lot across the street, nods and smiles at me. “Just go Domen. We will see you tomorrow.” “Thank you so much.” I give my brother a fast pat on the shoulder than I´m off. With fast steps I practically jog to the other side of the street. Daniel is playing around on his phone. When he hears my steps, he puts his phone in his pocket and looks up. From close up he looks even better. His light eyes wander from my face down my body and then land on my face again. I take a deep breath and then I am finally there. Finally, I can touch him again. Be with him. I grab his hand and an electric impulse runs through me. He pulls me into a deep hug. “Hey.”, I mumble against his chest. His chin rests on my head. Daniels hands are firmly griping onto my hips. I missed this feeling. Our bodies fit perfectly together. If it is his hands on my hips, our fingers intertwined or my hands on his cheek. It always feels perfect. “I missed you so much.” Alone hearing his voice in person and not through a phone speaker makes me shiver. “I missed you more.” Slowly we part but I press a kiss on his soft lips. My hands wander into his hair. The smell of Daniel is surrounding me. God, have I missed all of this. “I would really like to continue this but not here, darling.” I roll my eyes when we fully part. “Boring.” That makes Daniel laugh and he throws his head back. My favourite sound in the world. “Oh, come on your teammates are literally still watching us.” I look back to the other side of road. Indeed. The other guys are still outside of the car and observe us. Lovro is even waving to us. Peter on the other hand is grinning which is weird. Normally I feel like he just tolerates our PDA. “I hate these guys so much.”, I sigh. My boyfriend takes my hand and places a kiss on it. “I told you, you shouldn’t lie.” “I want to continue. So, let’s go home.”

His hand is on my thigh the whole drive from the airport to his flat in the suburbs from Oslo. We catch up a bit on light topics. How my flight was, if his mum baked me my favourite cake. Stuff like this. Just enjoying that the other one was there. Daniels flat is in a house with just three stories, but he lives on the top floor and has a good overview of the city. I love it here. It is so airy and open. You feel like you are in the city and at the same time you are in the nature. “I can’t believe I haven’t been here since early December.”, I state when Daniel opens the door to his apartment. “Well, we haven’t even seen each other since January.” January feels like a lifetime ago. So much stuff happened in between then and now. “I hated every second of it.”, I say and mean it. The only thing that helped me not going crazy was the fact that we talked on the phone at least twice a day. I kick my shoes off and hang my team jacket on the hanger. There is still a rain jacket of mine from last season there. Daniel and I are both not really good with our stuff. We forget clothes regularly. At least I forget. My boyfriend probably does it on purpose because he knows I like wearing his stuff. That is the reason why by now I have a full drawer of cloths here and he has the same at my apartment in Kranjc. “If you are hungry, I can put the lasagne in the oven.” “Or we do other stuff first.”

Daniel chuckles a bit and goes into the living room. I follow him in the cozy room. With the sloping roofs, the comfy rug and the furniture made out of wood his living room is my favourite part in the whole flat. The bedroom is obviously not too bad either, but I love spending time here on the couch just cuddling with Daniel and talking. “The lasagne takes almost an hour. I don’t think I can last that long today. Not after one month apart.” “Me neither to be honest. What do you think about showering?” I raise an eyebrow at my boyfriend. After the day full of flights, I probably stink a bit and my muscles are a bit sore from the training yesterday. “Showering sounds awesome.”

Freshly showered I sit at the small dining table which barely fits more than two people. Daniel is getting the lasagne out of the oven and the room already smells delicious. “I can help if you let me.”, I say a second time when Daniel places the tray on the counter and gets something to put the food on the plates. “No, no. You had a long day.” “A long day sitting on the plane.” I stand up and go into the kitchen. From behind I sling my arms around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. “Please let me help you.” He leans back against me, and I enjoy the feeling of his body pressed against mine. We are both just wearing boxers and a loose Shirt from him. I couldn’t bother picking one of my own from the drawer. Without saying a word Daniel is putting the plates into my hands. A satisfied smile is building on my face. “See was that so hard?” “Yes. I wanted to take care of you, and you are not letting me.” I put the plates on the table and sit down again. Daniel is still in the kitchen searching for something in the fridge. “I thought you already took care of me. Very well if you ask me.”, I wink at him. He groans annoyed and I laugh a bit. I knew that I would get this reaction.

Daniel pulls a bottle of white wine out of the fridge. “Wine?” Normally Danny never drinks the day before he jumps. The same goes for me even though I´m not that strict. If there is a special occasion a beer or glass of champagne is okay for me. “We have something to celebrate, or did you forget?” It isn’t our anniversary, nor one of our birthdays. So, I really don’t know what he means. “Enlighten me.” Daniel shakes his head in disbelief. A few strands of his blonde hair fall in his face. “Your first win in almost five years? The last time you won before that we weren’t even together.” “Oh right. That happened as well.” My boyfriend looks at me like I´m crazy, while he finally comes to the table with the wine and two glasses. “This was the most important thing that happened this year.” I raise my shoulders. “Not going to lie. It was pretty awesome but so much has happened. Also, I don’t think I fully processed it. I haven’t had time to think about it properly.” This season is a lot. Probably one of the hardest one yet. There are so many competitions with so little time between them. A lot of travelling as well. I am already counting the days until the Monday after Planica. That never happened to me. “Then we can process it together.” He gives me my glass and raises his. “To my dork of a boyfriend who even forgot his win.” I stick my tongue out but raise my glass as well. “And to my boyfriend who is too good for me.”

“How is Nika doing?” “Nika?” I lower my fork and look at Danny. He is putting a bit of the delicious lasagne in his mouth. “She is doing good. Why are you asking? Have you heard something different?” He shakes his head and chews. “No, I haven’t. I am just wondering since Eva is getting stronger. Everyone believed it would be pretty easy to win the overall but now with Eva´s form I would be getting nervous.” “Honestly I don’t know.” Nika keeps even more to herself than I do. It is pretty rare that she comes with problems to me. Especially regarding ski jumping. But at least she talks a bit to me. With Pero or Cene there is almost no conversation about ski jumping. “Have you asked her? If someone can understand her it is probably you and not only because you are her brother.” A small laugh escapes me. “Of course, but I don’t want to push too much. I hated that.” Peter was always on my heels when I was leading world cup. He wanted to make sure I was doing okay but that just made me more nervous. Honestly it is one of the reasons why our relationship is still a bit rough sometimes. It definitely has gotten better over the years, but it still isn’t like it used to be. Nika and I are close, and I don’t want something like this ruining our relationship. “I get that but hopefully she talks to someone. It is so hard being that good that young. It is still messing with you and that was almost a decade ago.” “Well, I was a dickhead at the time and not properly thinking. Nika probably thinks too much about it all.” The Norwegian takes my hand over the table and strokes my palm with his thumb. “You weren’t a dickhead. You were just seventeen. I´m sorry that nobody gave you the support you needed. Just think about you wanted to have in this situation and give it to your little sister.” The only thing that I wanted was that everyone treats my normal. Not that hard if you ask me. “I will try to. She would be happy if you talk to her as well, I bet.” “Me?” I laugh and squeeze his hand. “She likes you and maybe it would help if she talked someone she hasn’t grown up with.” Daniel was one of the reasons I didn’t fully loose it back then. He talked normal to me. Not like I was this prodigy. I take a sip of my white wine.

“What about you though? You are doing Oslo but maybe not the full raw air?” He shrugs. “We will see. The best ones will do the raw air completely. But don’t worry. I booked a hotel room in Trondheim already just in case.” I press my lips together. Daniel is always quite realistic with his judgement of his jumps. I am always too pessimistic or too optimistic about it. But he knows where he would land on a normal competition day. Obviously, he is not always right, but the direction is most of the time correct. That he booked a hotel room for Trondheim tells me already that his jumps aren’t on the level he wants them to be. “Oh, come on. You will absolutely smash it in Oslo and do the complete tour.”, I try hyping him up. A bit more optimism wouldn’t hurt him today. “My teammates are getting better so its going to be hard but I´ll try. You can be sure of that. And if it doesn’t work out than it is probably for the best.” I raise an eyebrow at him, and he leans against the back of his chair. “Elaborate please.” Our plates are almost finished, and I want nothing more than to finally go lay down in bed with him and just hold him. But this conversation seems important, so I don’t let it drop. Daniel takes another sip out of his glass. His wine glass is already almost empty. “My jumps are not on the level I wanted them to be. With ski flying coming up, I don’t know if I feel secure enough to do it.” “Not with Planica coming up.” Planica is still a very hard topic for him, but also for me to be honest. Sometimes in nightmares or when he has a rooky flight, I can still feel that feeling I had back then. The unknown how he was doing. If he even was alive. But I train in Planica that often that I am mostly over it. Daniel on the other hand still struggles to come back there. Which is obviously understandable. “Yeah. If it was just Vikersund, I don’t think I would struggle so much with the thought of flying.” “You know that everyone will understand it when you don’t go to Planica even when you are doing the full raw air. If you aren’t comfortable enough with your jumps, then you just don’t go.”

My head lays on Daniels naked chest and I closely listen to his heartbeat. After dinner we both just wanted to get to bed. Of course, we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves and now we are here. Both only dressed in our boxers tangled in between the bedsheets. It is dark outside, and we didn’t bother with turning a light on. A streetlamp is providing enough light for me to see him. With one of my fingers, I draw little things on Daniels stomach, and he shivers whenever I move to deep down. One of his hands is playing with my hair, the other one is slinging firmly around my waist. If I could, I would spend all my evenings like this. Just being with Danny is enough for me. “Maybe I should move here.”, I whisper in the silence of the room. Daniel immediately stops playing with my hair and sits up a bit. “You want what?” I look up to him. His blonde hair is totally messy and falls into his face. Gosh, I can’t believe he is really my boyfriend. I still can’t believe it even though it has been over four years. “Move here. We could spend so much more time together.” Eventually someone needs to move anyway if we want this relationship to last. The commute between Slovenia and Norway is hustle. I want this relationship to last. Daniel is the love of my life. It is easy to say this because it is true. He is my favourite person on this planet. He is the one I want to talk to and spend all of my ups and downs with. “You can’t just move here, Domen. What about your career? Your team is in Slovenia.” I roll onto my stomach and put my head in my hands. “Your team collects strays anyways. One more doesn’t really matter don’t you think.” “Gosh Domen, you can´t just say stuff like this. That’s something we need to think about.” Daniel is putting a hand on my cheek and looks me in the eyes. I lay my hand on top of his. “I´ll admit. It was an impulsive thought but doesn’t mean that I´m not serious because I am. I love this country, you know that. And I love you. For you I would move here.” “But I am not asking you to.” “You don’t have to. I am offering it.” I chuckle because this is Daniel to the core. He would never suggest that I move here. He thinks he would put a burden on me. Even if he deep down knows that it is probably the best solution for us. “And it is not like I would completely abandon my team at home. Obviously, I would still do the trainings camps and travel with them, but my home base could be here. The everyday stuff like getting in the gym. I could do that here.”, I add. Daniel runs a hand over his face and leans his head against the bed. The light of the streetlamp is shining on him and makes him glow. “It would be smarter if I come to Slovenia though. You are younger and your career is going to last longer than mine.” “No talks of retirement, Danny. Not until you actually consider it.” That is one of our rules. Whenever he had a bad competition, he used to joke about retiring. It made me so furious that I made that rule up. After that we talked about retiring just one more time. After his fall in Planica. After that fall I think everyone would have considered retiring. Thankfully he didn’t, though.

“I am just saying. You are not even 25. There at least ten more years for you in world cup. For me its more like five. Even if I stretch it out, I will probably retire before you. And then we will be settled here, and you still have to commute to Slovenia for the training. If we do it the other way around, you could spend the end of your career with your team.” I sigh. In a way he is right. “But my Norwegian is better than your Slovene. Also, I know you like it in Slovenia, but would you like it for more than a vacation? Because I know that I could live here. Maybe it is the right time now that Peter is retiring.” The team won’t be same without him. Even though I always wished that I was the only Prevc in world cup, now that it is really happening, I hate it. Never in a million years I would have thought to even think that. Without him in the team I am kind of scared that no one will try to include me anymore. I am not that close with the others. We are friendly of course but I see the way they are with each other. The way they don’t act with me. I know it is mainly my fault. At the being Lovro for example, tried hard to be closer with me but I kind off blocked it off. I don’t even know why. Peter is annoying but he always made sure that I was included. “Or maybe it is the time that you finally get close with your team. You always say you want to do. From here it won´t work.” I sit up and take one of his hands. “It was just an idea. But we should probably consider one of us moving in the near future because I will freak out at some point if we see each other so rarely.” “Oh, me too. The last weeks were so hard. I always dreamed of doing this.”, he says and presses a kiss on my lips. I lay one of my hands around his neck and pull him closer. “Me too.”

“You know if one of us moves, we probably need to tell the public about us. It will be hard to keep that big of a change a secret.” This time it is Daniel who is interrupting the silence. It is already past midnight, and we should sleep but neither of us is. Too hard is the desire to touch the other or talk about something. I have my arms wrapped around him from behind. His back is pressed against my chest and his warmth is heating me up. “At some point we would have to do it anyways.” My mind wanders to the conversation Timi and I had today. It would be easier if the public knew. I could kiss him at the hill after a good jump. We could be ourselves. “I always thought that at some point there would be a second Tande or another Prevc on the start list and people would find out that way.” A grin appears on my face. “You thought about us getting married?” I place a kiss on his shoulder. He turns around in my arms. Now we are face to face. On his lips is a breathtaking smile. “You didn’t?” “Well, I don’t think you thought that plan through. I did. FIS would never let us change our last names. There would be either two D. Prevc or D. Tande considering both of our first names start with D.” My smile widens even more. Of course, I thought about it. “I mean we still jump for two different nations. They could tell us apart. Or I use my second name as well.” He laughs a bit, and my heart skips a beat. “So much to think about. Moving, which last name we choose. But I really think we should go to sleep now. I want you to jump the full raw air and you need to be rested for it.”

[wie-sagt-man-noch]

Lellinger: The way I love you - Part 10 /10

Masterpost | AO3 | FF | Prev

With a soft sigh. Past exhaustion and frustration and despair, like it’s the only good thing left. Sometimes it is.| 1.1k

April 2020, Weißbach

Der Himmel über seiner Heimat ist strahlend blau. Die Sonne scheint, der Wind gleicht einer lauen Brise – für April ist es ungewöhnlich warm. Der Garten seines Elternhauses erstreckt sich vor ihm, gepflegt sieht er aus. Die ländliche Idylle wird von Vogelgezwitscher begleitet, während Andreas auf dem hölzernen Balkon sitzt und missmutig die Augen schließt. Eigentlich sollte er die Ruhe und das gute Wetter genießen – unter normalen Umständen würde er das vermutlich auch tun. Von der gewohnten Normalität ist derzeit allerdings nicht mehr viel übrig, auch wenn die malerische Szenerie, in der er sich befindet, etwas anderes vermuten lässt.

Die Welt befindet sich seit einigen Wochen in einem Ausnahmezustand, Corona hat die Nachrichten und das Leben aller fest im Griff. Das Virus grassiert und hat alles bis dato Gekannte auf den Kopf gestellt. Kontaktbeschränkungen, überfüllte Krankenhäuser, leere Straßen – nichts ist mehr so, wie es vorher war. Er selbst wäre beinahe nicht mehr zurück nach Deutschland gekommen, als er seine Schwester im März in Australien besucht hat. Die Zeit dort war wunderschön und unbeschwert – zum ersten Mal seit langer Zeit hatte er dort das Gefühl, endlich wieder im Moment zu leben. Er konnte abschalten und seine eigene Verletzungsmisere des vergangenen Jahres ausblenden.

Zumindest so lange, bis Stephan Anfang März gestürzt ist und sich ebenfalls sein Kreuzband gerissen hat. Die Nachricht hat ihn jäh auf den Boden der Tatsachen zurückgeholt. Er hat seinen Freund umgehend angerufen und war bereits dabei, seinen Rückflug vorzuverlegen, aber Stephan hat darauf bestanden, dass er in Down Under bleibt. So entspannt wie die letzten Tage hab’ ich dich lang nicht mehr gesehen, bleib'. Bitte. Dabei hat er ihn fast schon flehend angesehen, als sie gefacetimed haben. Hier kannst du eh nichts machen, bleib' so lang wie geplant – ich lauf' nicht weg hat er gesagt und Andreas musste tatsächlich schmunzeln. Andreas ist geblieben, auch wenn zu diesem Zeitpunkt bereits die ersten Reisewarnungen wegen des Coronavirus ausgesprochen wurden.

Ernst genommen hat er sie nicht, wie so viele andere auch. Was soll schon passieren, hat er zu seiner Schwester bei einem gemeinsamen Abendessen gesagt. Sie sehen sich ohnehin viel zu selten, seit Julia in Australien lebt. Er hat die nächsten zwei Wochen mit ihr mehr als genossen, die neu gewonnene Leichtigkeit hat ihm unfassbar gutgetan.

Vermutlich hätte er dennoch abreisen sollen, aber später ist man immer klüger, heißt es. Im Nachhinein betrachtet ist es auch nicht sonderlich klug gewesen, bei stärkerem Wellengang surfen zu gehen. Andreas hat es trotzdem getan und dafür die Quittung bekommen. Eine Welle hat ihn unvorbereitet erwischt und ihn von seinem Bord geworfen - dabei ist unglücklich mit seinem Schlüsselbein auf dem Bord aufgeprallt und hat es sich prompt gebrochen. Der heiße Schmerz hat ihm im ersten Moment den Atem geraubt, dann war er auch schon unter Wasser. Zum Glück war er bereits relativ nah am Strand, sodass er sich schnell aus dem Wasser begeben konnte – aber ihm ist in diesem Moment klar geworden, dass die Verletzung ernst sein muss.

Stunden später ist er bereits operiert worden. Als er später aus der Narkose wach geworden ist, war ihm zum Heulen zumute. Wieder ein Rückschlag, dabei wollte er diesen Sommer doch endlich wieder voll ins Mannschaftstraining einsteigen. Wieder Schmerzen, wieder Reha, alles wieder von vorne. Dazu noch Stephan, der ihn dieses Mal nicht mit seinem unerschütterlichen Glauben unterstützen können wird, weil der seinen ganz eigenen Leidensweg vor sich hat.

Hinzu kam, dass sein geplanter Rückflug wegen des Virus annulliert wurde und er deswegen beinahe nicht hatte ausreisen können. Ja, Andreas hätte seinem ersten Impuls nachgeben sollen. Dann würde er jetzt nicht mit geschientem Arm bei seinen Eltern auf dem Balkon sitzen, sondern fit bei Stephan sein und zur Abwechslung mal für ihn da sein können. Hätte ihm im Alltag helfen können, weil er weiß, was Stephan gerade durchmacht und an welcher Stelle er ihm das Leben leichter machen kann. Er hätte ihm Tag für Tag sagen können, dass er an ihn glaubt und dass das alles wieder wird, hätte Stephans Launen ausgehalten und ihm gezeigt, dass er sich auf ihn verlassen kann. Dass er ihn liebt – in guten wie in schlechten Zeiten, egal wie kitschig sich das anhört.

Andreas hätte so vieles tun können, aber die Realität sieht anders aus. In ihr hat er jedes Mal starke Schmerzen, wenn er seine rechte Schulter nur leicht bewegt und Stephan hat er seit über einem Monat nicht mehr persönlich gesehen – Andreas fühlt sich schlicht und ergreifend miserabel. Er ist erschöpft, kann nachts kaum schlafen, weil seine Schulter dumpf pocht und seine Gedanken rasen. Seine Laune ist unfassbar schlecht, er spricht mit seinen Eltern häufig nur das Nötigste, obwohl sie die Letzten sind, an denen er seinen Frust herauslassen sollte. Andreas weiß, wie privilegiert er eigentlich ist. Seine Eltern kümmern sich liebevoll um ihn – er ist nicht allein wie so viele andere Menschen in der aktuellen Situation. Er weiß das alles, aber es ändert nichts daran, dass er unglaublich enttäuscht und wütend ist. Auf sich selbst am meisten, was ihn nur noch frustrierter werden lässt. Dazu kommt, dass er Stephan wahnsinnig vermisst und ihm gegenüber ein unglaublich schlechtes Gewissen hat. Der wiederum hat ihm vorhin am Telefon gesagt, dass er das nicht haben muss, Unfälle passieren, Andi, und war wie immer unglaublich verständnisvoll.

Sie telefonieren oder facetimen täglich und Andreas ist unfassbar froh über diese Routine. Manchmal witzelt Stephan darüber, dass sie ab nächstem Jahr das Kreuzbandzimmer sein werden. Er plant voraus, glaubt an sie beide und lächelt wissend in die Kamera, wenn er davon spricht. Ohne Stephan würde er durchdrehen, da ist Andreas sich sicher. Andreas bewundert ihn für seine Stärke, seine Ruhe und seine Zuversicht – vorhin hat er ihm genau das auch gesagt. Stephan ist ein wenig rot geworden, während sich ein Strahlen auf sein Gesicht gelegt hat. Bei dem Anblick hat sich eine bekannte, wohlige Wärme in Andreas' Bauch ausgebreitet, während sein Herz etwas schneller geschlagen hat. Das leise geseufzte Ich liebe dich konnte und wollte er nicht zurückhalten, weil er es genau in diesem Moment überdeutlich gespürt hat. Ich liebe dich auch hat Stephan ohne zu zögern geantwortet, bevor sie sich kurz darauf voneinander verabschiedet haben.

Inzwischen hat sich ein leichtes Lächeln auf Andreas' Lippen gebildet. Er öffnet die Augen, blinzelt der Sonne entgegen, atmet tief ein und wieder aus. Zwischen all dem Frust glimmt zum ersten Mal seit seiner erneuten Verletzung ein wenig Zuversicht. Wenn alles um ihn herum zusammenbricht, nichts mehr so ist, wie es war, und alles schief zu laufen scheint, dann ist da immer noch Stephan. Stephan, den er liebt und der genau dasselbe für ihn fühlt.

Wenn das am Ende bleibt, ist alles mehr als okay.

[milktrician]

didn't think i'll also get this done today, but some cover art for my fic Shang Qinghua's Reincarnation Survival Guide.

[afsosville]

You know what would've been nice? Shen Jiu ending up on a different peak that's actually good for him. Maybe Qian Cao, or the beast taming peak could've been hella therapeutic. Or the alcohol/brewery peak to drown away all his sorrows. But what if he stayed fucked up, in a way that's actually good and productive for society? Yeah, I wanna toss him over to Yin Hui and let him run wild! I've seen many iterations of Yin Hui, the fanon peak for espionage and poisons in fanfics. By extension, Yin Hui is also covertly the assassination peak, and I wish this peak got more attention around here tbh. Why do I think this peak is the most well suited for Shen Jiu? BECAUSE ASSASSINS. Duh.

So here comes a baby demonic cultivator Shen Jiu and the Yin Hui peak lord immediately wants him. Shen Jiu would be more readily accepted by his peak martial siblings, and no one would bat an eye at Shen Jiu, his standoffish personality or shady past. A lot of Yin Hui disciples are from questionable backgrounds since the Yin Hui peak lord naturally has to be very particular about selecting their disciples. Yin Hui was established to protect the sect and its people by any means necessary. Sure, the rest of the sect may fight against the supernatural, demons, and the undead, but Yin Hui fights an even greater monster: people.

The Yin Hui peak lord manipulated things so that the first impression the rest of the sect has about Shen Jiu is 'that new badass Yin Hui disciple that killed the criminal Wu Yanzi and saved the future sect leader!' (Seeing as Wu Yanzi would be the very sort of ppl they assassinate, he's already getting goated on Yin Hui too.) So Shen Jiu is known as that new prodigious disciple from Yin Hui and is getting some goddamn respect! And just because of his association with his peak, fewer people are inclined to question his background and whatnot since there's an understanding that the identity of the YH disciples needs to be heavily guarded. The Yin Hui peak lord finds out about the Qiu's soon enough, and they erase any and all traces leading back to Shen Jiu. Even framing it in a way that makes it look like WY did the massacre. Any credibility Qiu Haitang could've had for Shen Jiu's murder accusations is thrown out the window. (Ain’t no way in hell the Yin Hui peak lord is going to name SJ that stupid trauma inducing name like a certain Qing Jing peak lord, that's for sure.)

I'm pulling in elements from MDZS over here. In my version of Yin Hui, they have disciples who practice demonic cultivation, but they make sure it's in a safer way that won't hurt them. There's a surprising number of disciples who have damaged cultivation and chose to cultivate the ghost path. The previous generations of Yin Hui peak lords have created Wei Wuxian's inventions in this AU, and is used by the rest of the peak, like the compass of ill winds, paper metamorphosis, the spirit attraction flag, and empathy. I lowkey want a Wei Wuxian that's native to SV to be the Yin Hui peak lord, now that I think about it. He's good with his kiddos and would be an awesome shizun. And ofc, Shen Jiu is a reflection of his environment, so he's certainly making an example out of Wei Wuxian, one of the only positive influences in his life.

Shen Jiu still has his violent tendencies, so nothing has changed about that, but he learns to take that pent-up energy out on missions instead. And he does them well. It even gives him an edge. Everyone else thinks he's just reallyyy good at his job, as expected of the talented head disciple of Yin Hui!!

He really does try his best to not be an ass (bc he gets the love he deserves on Yin Hui) and ends up venting in a different way (coz he knows better than to take it out on people who don’t deserve it.) His shizun really gave him the free reign to kill sl@ve trad3rs, human tr@ffick3rs, r-ists, and other scum whenever he wanted, in the name of stress relief lol. If killing a particular person becomes politically complicated, like the Old Palace Bastard, then you best believe he's going to scheme like the little schemer he is. He's going to Nie Huaisang the OPM.

Since Shen Jiu is not salty about his fucked up cultivation, and his martial siblings respect him, they get along just fine. His cultivation is some parts similar to Wei Wuxian's: Shen Jiu is a ghost cultivator influenced by music. Sure, he may not be that great of a spiritual cultivator, so what? He's pulling up like the Yiling Patriarch with his demonic cultivation and a haunted guqin of his own.

And guess what? Shen Jiu enjoys teaching. He's training miniature assassins, spies, and the art of demonic cultivation, so forgive him if he's more than a little enthusiastic about it. I imagine that he's exactly like Shifu from kung fu panda when it comes to teaching. Still extremely harsh and strict when training, but outside of actually teaching, he's an attentive and caring shizun. And yes, he completely does act like a father figure who is proud of his murder babies, and ends up being called A-Ba so much that all of Cang Qiong thinks he's officially adopted every single one of his disciples. (After being saved by SJ on a mission, NYY persistently begs SJ to take her in even though he desperately thinks Yin Hui isn't a good fit for her. And then, after being under him for a while, she's completed her first mission successfully, has smn else's blood on her face, and is smiling brightly. 

Ning Yingying: "I completed my mission shizun! Are you proud of me?"

Shen Jiu: "..."

Some other peaklord: "Haha like father like daughter! She's definitely your girl alright!"

Shen Jiu: "...!?!" )

Yue Qingyuan is conerneth about his Xiao Jiu, but as long as he's happy, who cares. Shen Jiu has a better relationship with the other peak lords, so when asked about why he visits brothels, he straight up tells them that it's the best place to gather information in the dark. He doesn't have that mentality of "why explain myself when no ones finna believe me anyway" He actually trusts them and is more honest with time. Shen Jiu does come clean about killing the Qiu's at some point, and the peak lords are all like-

"I didn't hear shit"

"See, I'm blind in my left eye, and 75% blind in my right-"

"Completely understandable, Shen shidi!"

They don't even ask why he did it and just assume he had a valid reason, and he absolutely fucking did.

Oh, Shen Jiu gets accused of playing dirty? Liu Qingge, he literally kills ppl and makes poison as a daytime fucking job ofc he's gonna play dirty! Shen Jiu tried killing you that one time on the well mission? Bro you good? The fact that you think he tried to kill you and failed?? You just insulted an entire peak of disciples and their ancestors. You would've been dead before you could even think of sensing their killing intent if it were true. And there was a witness too, doofus. Be fucking for real. Nahh coz there definitely would be more people who are taking Shen Jiu's side whenever the two of them fight.

Shen Jiu uses a shit ton of versatile weapons because most of his fighting and cultivation prowess comes from his wits and adapting to fighting with different styles/methods. He is kinda similar to Xie Lian bc both of them lack spiritual energy/qi (damaged spirit roots in Shen Jiu's case), but that does not mean they are weaker. It just means they learned to train their body and minds instead of relying on cultivation/qi. He has a massive arsenal of weapons along with the demonic cultivation. (Airport security would hate him)

Yin Hui has got to be my favorite fanon peak, and Yin Hui! Shen Jiu plauges so many of my waking thoughts, I can't stop-

I can add elements from my other hyperfixation into this AU, the Avatar Chronicles. Which are the written books from ATLA. The criminal organization Kyoshi joined, the Daofei, for example, could be a good plot point. Or the Platinum Affair from the Yangchen books. If you don’t know what the Avatar Chronicles are, just ignore this last part lol.

[peachhcs]

a trip to van

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

samy spends a weekend in van with her two favorite people

4.5k words

hiii here's this that i've been working on for a few days. i thought this idea was super cutie and wanted to write more quinn and samy dynamic. also lowkey predicting that sjs vs. van game in a week so lol this won't be accurate but anyways let me know if u guys like these longer fics or not bc i think they're fun to write sometimes!! (also i imagine samy taking these pics of quinn and will)

au masterlist

"i actually can't believe you convinced me to let you stay for a whole weekend," the oldest hughes brother teased samy as they climbed into the car once her stuff was in the back.

"oh shut up. you've been begging to spend more time with me. plus, i haven't been to van in years," the younger sibling countered as they shared a laugh.

"yeah, you're right. you're right. it's good to see you, squirt," quinn squeezed her arm across the armrest as they pulled out of the pickup line.

it was thursday night and samy was in vancouver for the weekend to watch her brother and will play one another on saturday. she was ecstatic to say the least to be spending some time with quinn and getting to see will. it wasn't often that the oldest and youngest sibling spent 1 on 1 time together—in the summer if they were lucky, but even then, quinn had things keeping him busy and so did samy.

"mom told me you need to take me to a hundred different places while i'm here. she sent me a whole list," the brunette chuckled.

"oh really? like where?"

"apparently this bakery that sells really good bagels. there's an italian restaurant in downtown mom really liked that she wants me to try. i dunno, i'll send you the list," samy clicked around to add quinn to the note.

"alright, i'll have to check it out. is she expecting me to pay for all your meals this weekend?" the older boy hummed, amusement on his features.

"i mean i won't complain if you do. i am a broke college student," the younger brunette grinned.

"good thing i make millions," samy hit her brother's arm for that comment making quinn laugh out loud.

"you better stay humble for someone making 8.6 million a year," the girl mumbled, still unbelievable that her brothers were that rich for doing something they genuinely loved doing. she knew she'd never make anywhere close to that even if she did put in the same amount of work.

either way, she secretly enjoyed bugging and asking her brothers for things knowing how much money they had and that they could definitely swing helping her out with groceries here and there.

"plus, you got your boyfriend making a good couple hundred thousand. you're in good hands," quinn added and samy just flushed, rolling her eyes slightly.

"don't worry, i know. i've been told many times that i should just drop out of college and move to san jose because will can support us," he poked at her every time about it and sometimes samy also still couldn't believe her childhood best friend now boyfriend was rich enough to support her and she didn't have to do a thing. "don't worry, i got you, squirt. welcome to luxury for the weekend," quinn grinned as he leaned back in his seat and really embraced his millionaire status inside his expensive car and fancy sunglasses atop his nose.

—

later that night, samy sat in quinn's apartment on facetime with their parents plus jack and luke so they could see she made it in safely.

"i'm so happy you had a safe flight! how is it so far?" ellen wondered with a bright smile while quinn slipped into frame.

"it's been really good. quinn's been a really great host," she pinched her brother's cheeks making him push her hands away.

"damn, i'm so jealous i'm not in vancouver right now. it could've been a reunion!" jack exclaimed.

"hey you get to see will in like a week when he plays you guys in jersey," samy smiled a bit, sad that she couldn't fly out for that reunion.

"yeah, i guess. how's quinn's? has he made you his weird protein shake yet?" the middle hughes wondered while luke snickered.

"dude, it's not that bad, i swear. it gets me up in the morning," quinn rolled his eyes.

"oh it's bad, don't try gaslighting yourself. if he does make it, don't drink it. it had me on the toilet for an hour," jack mumbled while samy laughed and ellen and jim just shook their heads.

"well, i'm glad you've been having a good time so far. it's rare that i see my kids getting along on their own," ellen chimed in.

"hey! we get along! what are you taking about?" luke defended himself.

"mhm, yeah, sure you do," jim chuckled.

"we do! i swear. at least jack and i kind of get along better," the second to youngest sibling patted jack's arm and the two boys gave their most convincing smile.

"key word: kind of," samy chirped.

"oh shut up," luke rolled his eyes at his sister.

"there it is," quinn mumbled, concealing his laughter so their parents or luke wouldn't see.

"well, anyway, it's good to see my kids sort of together. you two have fun in van this weekend! i want lots of pictures and tell will we said hi!" ellen cheered, breaking up the bickering before it got worse. her kids smiled, all nodding.

"will do. love you guys," samy waved before disconnecting from the call.

quinn jumped up from the couch to continue making dinner. the siblings sat in comfortable silence for a moment until the older boy decided to keep talking, "so how have you and will been doing? okay?"

"yeah, we're good. we talk like every night. it's good," the brunette nodded.

"good, i'm glad. i'm happy you guys worked things out," quinn nodded in approval.

"yeah, me too. we're still..readjusting, but it's been easy i think now that will's had time to settle into california and the team."

"that's good. i mean it'll take time, but i'm glad to hear it's been easy," samy appreciated her brother's words knowing some may think she took him back way too soon and way too easily.

"thanks. what about you? have you found anyone or been seeing anyone?" she loved poking into her brothers' lives. it wasn't easy with quinn considering how closed off he was and how easy it was for him to hide things because he lived in a different country.

"funny, but no. i haven't really been seeing anyone," the older boy hummed.

"lameee, we need to get you someone. i mean don't you have like girls lined at your feet?" samy giggled, thinking about all the edits she saw about her brothers on tiktok.

"very funny. i'm just trying to work on myself. is that a crime?"

"of course not, but i feel like mom's looking for another daughter," the younger brunette teased a bit.

"she'll find one in jack's girlfriend. i have a feeling he's getting married first out of all of us," it wasn't too out of character for jack since he was the middle child and all.

"you think so?"

"i mean i don't know, but yeah. he likes jumping into those things," quinn chuckled.

"yeah, i could see it. i think it will be jack, you, me, then luke. or luke and i are switched and i'm last."

"you last? that's surprising."

"well will and i aren't getting married anytime soon. we wanna live a bit and establish ourselves before anything serious," samy nodded. she wasn't too big on getting engaged so soon anyways. it was probably the only thing she wanted to take her time with other than having kids. that was a way later thing.

"alright, fair. i guess i could say the same. i'm not looking for anything," quinn shrugged. he wasn't huge on any of those life milestones knowing he'd find his person when he was ready.

"do you think you're gonna stay in van forever?" samy changed the subject, leaning her arm across the back of the couch and resting her head down.

"i mean probably. i've got a good few years left in me. plus, i like it here. it reminds me of being a kid and growing up in toronto," the older brunette smiled.

"i kind of miss living in toronto. i basically grew up there, you know?" a good 12 years of samy's life was spent in toronto and they were probably some of the best years.

"yeah, i know. they were good years for sure. you could always go back, you know. move back up there," it was definitely something quinn thought a lot about whenever he did decide to retire from the ice. even though he loved michigan, those times in toronto would always call back to him.

it called back to all of the hughes siblings.

"yeah, maybe when i'm like forty and will's retired," the girl grinned and quinn nodded in agreement.

the rest of the night, the two watched some hockey highlights and then a movie before calling it a night. samy excitedly awaited will's arrival tomorrow afternoon where he was able to pull a few strings and fly out early to spend a bit more time with her and quinn.

—

the two siblings rode back to the airport to gather will while samy continuously checked his flight to see if he had landed yet.

"the plane's not getting any closer every minute you look at it," the older boy laughed, watching the way his sister constantly looked at the website.

"i know, i'm just excited," the genuine happiness was a good look on samy that quinn enjoyed seeing. he hated seeing her so sad this past summer, so he was glad her spirits were back up and she was her usual, bubbly self.

"does this mean i'm gonna be third wheel for the rest of the weekend?"

"no, i promise. we'll just be all gross and kiss when you aren't looking," the girl laughed to herself while quinn rolled his eyes.

"great, great. thanks for having some decency," the boy mumbled but he was secretly smiling.

they pulled back into the airport pickup line where quinn started getting serious deja vu from yesterday. the two of them sat in comfortable silence on their phones and listening to the soft hum of the radio in the background. a few minutes passed when samy began hitting her brother's arm repeatedly, her face glowing.

"his plane landed! he should be coming out," she squealed, jumping out of the car. quinn followed after, the two of them leaning against the side waiting for the blonde.

the younger brunette was bouncing on her heels, scanning every face that came through the doors knowing will was bound to walk through them any second.

finally, will came through, his big hockey bag slung over his shoulder, backpack strapped to his back and sharks hat to cover his messy hair. samy jumped up, running to greet her boyfriend in the middle where quinn couldn't help the smile on his lips.

will dropped his bag so he could lift samy into his arms, the couple spinning around in their bone crushing hug. "missed you," the brunette hummed, pulling back a bit once her feet were back on the ground.

"i missed you, too. its so good to see you," will's hold on her waist drew her in closer, admiring all of her features up close after only seeing them through a screen for months.

"i'm so excited you're here. this is gonna be so fun," samy grinned and pulled her boyfriend down for a kiss, not caring that they were in public or who was watching.

they melted into one another, lips and bodies molding together. quinn, who was watching the entire exchange, pretended to act disgusted which pulled the two apart.

"sorry to break up this reunion, but maybe save that for back at the apartment?" he raised his eyebrow. samy rolled his eyes while will flushed, letting the girl go.

"good to see ya, smitty. it's been awhile," quinn opened his arms for a quick hug.

"it's good to see you, too, quinn. thanks for letting me stay for the weekend," the blonde smiled.

"my apartment is your apartment. although the ice will be a different story tomorrow," the older boy teased a bit, laughing when he saw will pale a bit.

"just kidding. it's gonna be a good game tomorrow. i'm excited to play you and see what you got," quinn smacked will's shoulder and a bit of a nervous chuckle left the blonde's lips.

"alright, don't scare him. let's get back," samy broke them up, tugging them back to the car so they could stop taking up a spot.

—

once quinn and samy helped will get settled in, the oldest hughes brother let the couple have some time to themselves. they sat out on the balcony curdled up together enjoying the nice weather and city below. it was nice de-stressor for will before the game, too.

"so how do you like it so far? be honest," samy wondered, referring to will's time in the nhl so far.

"i really like it. it's like a dream come true," will said honestly which made the girl smile.

"i'm really glad. you look like you've been thriving."

"i do miss boston and the guys and my family and michigan and you though. it's not the same not having all of you an arm's length away," the blonde frowned briefly, thinking of the boys and his parents on the other side of the country from him.

"i get it. we miss you, too, but i'm glad you've been loving it so far. you've got a pretty big name to yourself now," samy giggled while will rolled his eyes a bit.

"just so you know, i'm only thinking of you when i do those press interviews," his words made the youngest hughes blush, burying her face into his shoulder.

"i actually can't believe all of you are in the nhl now. it still feels like yesterday listening to you guys talk about that dream in our living room, or pretending you were playing a real game back on our rink in toronto," all of those memories were still so fresh in their minds, it was hard to believe it was nearly 10 years ago.

"wow, i remember those days. i was always so excited to fly to canada to visit you guys because i knew i'd get to play hockey," will chuckled.

"back when you were more interested in seeing my brothers than me," samy teased.

"only because we were like nine and thought we were gross and had cooties," the blonde countered and the two shared a laugh.

"i was telling quinn yesterday that i miss being out there. i spent my whole childhood there."

"yeah, toronto holds a lot of good memories for us. i miss it too. maybe we can go back one day?" will raised his eyebrows while a little grin appeared on his girlfriend's lips.

"i had the same thought. i said maybe when you're retired and we're like forty or something," they both laughed again.

"forty? i don't know if i'll be playing for that long. i'll probably be done at around 30 or so."

"so thirty. we'll set our plan now," samy determined and will squeezed his arm tighter around her torso, kissing the top of her head.

"sounds like a great plan."

—

the next morning the apartment was buzzing with excitement mixed with nerves and adrenaline. quinn had to be at the rink in the late afternoon and will needed to meet up with his team, so the three spent the morning getting themselves ready. samy was a bit torn trying to figure out what to wear, wanting to support both will and quinn.

"what do you think?" she stepped out of the bathroom to show off her outfit—a jean mini skirt paired with one of will's sharks shirts that had his name on the back and one of quinn's many canucks hats.

will fell silent as he took in her appearance when she did a full spin. the gears in his head started turning and a feeling he hadn't felt in a while bubbled in his chest.

the whole idea of playing in the nhl was something will dreamed of forever. dating his best friend was another unimaginable dream and now the two were colliding and knowing samy would be in the arena wearing his number and his name so everyone would know she was his...the blonde's brain nearly stopped working.

"will?" samy snapped will from his daze.

"huh? sorry. you look..wow.." he mumbled, losing his train of thought as he snaked his hands around her waist, drinking in her outfit even more.

"what's that mean?" the girl chuckled, noticing her boyfriend's lustful expression.

"i just..i'm so lucky. you look good wearing my name," will dipped his head down to place a kiss to samy's lips.

he pulled her flush against his chest, hands wandering with a mind of their own. samy fiddled with will's loosely buttoned undershirt and other hand dancing into his curls. the hockey player's hands drifted further down her hips until he grabbed ahold of her ass and squeezed. she giggled at the action.

they pulled back for a second, panting into one another's mouths. will wanted more. he craved more and so did samy, so they reattached their lips. a soft moan escaped will when samy pulled particularly hard on his hair. her lips felt so good against his own.

"god, you're so gorgeous," will pulled back, lips tinted from samy's pink lip gloss.

"right back at ya, hot stuff," the brunette winked and will couldn't stop himself. he dove back in for more, the desire burning from his head to the tips of his toes.

he backed her against the wall of the bedroom where his lips started dipping further down onto her neck. samy moaned when will found her sweet spot almost immediately, tugging harder at the base of his curls.

"will...people are gonna see," she said but she didn't make any move to pull him away.

"good, let them see," he said, the possession clear in his voice and fuck, if samy didn't find that super attractive.

"we should stop. you have to go soon," she tried knowing he was due to see his team in thirty minutes.

"how soon?" the blonde mumbled, still attacking samy's neck.

"like thirty minutes."

"i can do it in ten," his words sent a rush of heat down the girl's spine, but she knew they couldn't. not now anyways.

"will, not now. later, i promise," she finally found the courage to pull him away from her. he looked back up, breath heavy and lips swollen in pink. he was such a sight to see that had samy wishing they didn't have to go.

"i'm keeping you to that promise then," will smirked.

a quick knock on the door caught their attention, the two of them tensing slightly. "yeah?"

"leaving in fifteen!" quinn called.

"be out soon!" samy yelled back, returning her gaze to her boyfriend's burning stare, placing one last kiss to his lips.

"you're gonna do amazing out there. don't be nervous. you know how quinn plays."

"i know, i know. just scared he'll rip me to shreds," the blonde mumbled with a low chuckle, samy going to help him get himself together as she buttoned up his shirt. 

"even if he does, know he's trying to push you and help you get better," samy knew quinn wasn't going easy on will tonight, but she also knew he was gonna use all the tactics he knew that would push the blonde out of his comfort zone a little to get him to play harder. 

it was how luke played on will too whenever they went head to head back in michigan. 

the two finished getting ready, slipping out of the bedroom as quinn was making sure he had everything and everything was turned off before they left. 

"nice touch," the older boy noticed his sister's hat, smiling a bit as he flicked it up. 

"don't worry, i didn't forget about you," she cheesed as the three of them headed down to the garage. 

quinn dropped will off around the back of the rink where the sharks were gathering in the locker room. the siblings wished the blonde luck before they drove back around to the front and the cameras and media were waiting for them. 

"good luck, quinn. i'll see you later," samy smiled as she climbed out of the car. 

"thanks, squirt. text me if you need anything before we get on," the two departed as samy headed to the doors and quinn headed towards the cameras to capture the player's game day outfits and walk up. 

—

rogers arena was electric leading up to the game. samy had her spot just behind the canucks bench behind the glass where quinn wanted her incase she needed his attention or something—always looking out for his baby sister even during the game. the two waved to one another before samy searched for will doing his warmups. the black and dark teal was a nice addition to the away game jeresey's and she spotted her boyfriend a little bit further down. 

the fans were excited for this matchup, canucks fans loud and eager to get the game underway against the two newest rookies on the sharks. macklin skated by, quickly waving to the brunette. she grinned, waving back and giving two thumbs up indicating good luck. 

the game revved up quickly as quinn took to the ice against will in the first period. samy saw how much the sharks were improving with each game, but she knew the canucks still had the upper hand with their older players and more experience. she was on the edge of her seat watching her boyfriend and bother race towards the puck sliding across the ice. 

quinn was up in will's business, pushing and shoving the younger boy for the puck, so will pushed back harder. the two were basically dancing with one another, the older hughes brother making will work for it. 

some of the other canucks players bumped against the blonde and then in the next second, he was on the ground from a hit. the whistle blew, but will bounced back up, a little flustered but okay. it was a clean hit, so no penalties. samy sighed and then made eye contact with her brother as he skated towards the bench. cool off a bit her look said while quinn just shrugged, but he understood. 

at the end of the first, canucks were up 2-0. samy texted her parents updates even though they were also probably watching. she sent quick messages to gabe and ryan as well as hannah. 

gabe

ur brother's got killer aim

samy

tell me about it

he's making will work for it

ryan

figures

during every intermission, the cameras always panned to the players' family members if they were in the stands. when the jumbotron showed samy she quickly waved and pointed to her canucks hat. the fans cheered, always excited to see quinn's siblings or parents in attendance. 

the second and third periods played out almost the same as the first. the guys were fast on the ice for the puck and scoring goals. canucks led now by 5-3 and samy knew this would be another loss on the sharks side. she knew it'd discourage the boys, but there was definitely improvement from last game. will got his stick on the puck a few times, passing to his line, but still not enough to over power the older guys on the canucks team. 

when the game ended the fans cheered loudly for quinn's team. samy cheered for her brother too while also giving will and macklin a smile for trying their best. she knew press would take some time, so the girl mingled with fans as they left the rink and back into the lobby. 

she enjoyed getting to talk to girls who looked up to her and parents who congratulated her on having a good soccer season so far, asking questions about conference games and the national title coming up soon. 

will came out before quinn now showered and back in his suit. samy made her way over to him, giving him a loving hug and kiss on the cheek, "sorry you lost, but you played well." 

"thanks, it's okay. i knew we would against quinn. he definitely pushed me though," the blonde chuckled. 

"see, i told you. not too bad," samy grinned, squeezing his arm as the couple waited for quinn. 

he came out a few minutes later, waving to the two. "press wants some pics of all of us around back. is that okay?" the older boy wondered while samy and will nodded. 

they followed the older boy around the back where the media snapped a few pictures of the siblings and will together to share online later. once those were done, the three climbed back into the car to head back to the apartment, feeling exhausted from the long night. 

quinn's ringtone started playing through the car as ellen's name lit up the screen. the older brunette answered, "hi mom." 

"hey quinny, great game! you guys back at the apartment in once piece?" the older woman said. 

"we're on our way back right now. samy and will are here." 

"hi mom," the younger girl called. 

"hi ellen," will said too. 

"hi guys. sorry you guys lost, willie. you played really well, though. it can be tough with these big, old nhl players," ellen chuckled. 

"mom, are you calling me old?" quinn cut in as samy giggled too. 

"yeah, i am. just wanted to check in with you guys and make sure everyone had fun. any plans for tonight?" 

the three exchanged a glance, the silence taken as probably nothing since the late game tired all of them out. "probably a movie or something. kind of beat," quinn answered. 

"i bet. well, have fun guys! i'll talk to you soon. love you." 

"love you too, mom," samy and quinn said in unison, giggles escaping both of their lips. 

once they got back into the apartment, samy collapsed onto the couch, glad to be back in a warm temperatures and not on a frozen metal bench. will copied her movements, falling down beside her while quinn chuckled at their behavior. 

"you guys can pick out whatever movie. want anything to eat?" the older boy wondered as he started shedding himself of his tie. 

"whatever you wanna make, we'll eat," samy said. 

"got it," quinn disappeared into his room. 

"so one day this really could be our life," will hummed, breaking the small silence that had filled between the couple. 

"it really could," the brunette agreed as her eyes flicked around her brother's apartment. 

"only...2 more years?" the blonde raised his eyebrow. 

"possibly depending on what career path i choose," samy reached up to mess with some of the misplaced curls hanging off will's forehead. 

"sounds like a dream," the boy smiled warmly, moving so their heads were touching. 

"yeah, for real." 

will went in to press a sweet kiss to samy's lips, all the love in his chest feeling full and abundant. they pulled apart knowing quinn would come back out any second. 

"also i think ryan and gabe wanted to facetime to say hey and talk about the game," samy giggled while the blonde playfully rolled his eyes. 

"of course they did. don't forget about that promise you made to me earlier," the boy grinned as samy stood up to change into something more comfortable. 

"oh, don't worry. i didn't forget," she winked, heading into the guest room leaving will to quickly follow after her.