#i genuinely feel like I was meant to be on this earth just to suffer

[evanstanhoney]

I’m never gonna know what love feels like, huh?

[starscreamingg]

I keep thinking about this one time at work when I was having just an absolute shit of a time and I went to take the green bin outside and I got out to see these massive flakes of snow falling so softly and I remembered the joys of being alive

[descendant-of-truth]

Y'know, it occurs to me - Movie!Sonic has a lot more in common Shadow than any other version of Sonic that I know of, and that creates a unique storytelling opportunity that wouldn't have been possible before.

Because originally, Shadow having a dark and traumatic backstory was what separated him from Sonic. Their similarities came out more in their confidence, their playful attitude, and even their withdrawn demeanor (though Shadow's is more extreme). Sonic's genuine ability to be carefree and optimistic was his biggest difference from Shadow.

In the movies, Sonic is... not nearly as put-together. Just like Shadow, his personality is shaped almost entirely from the result of tragedy. Both of them had to watch their closest family member get shot trying to save them from raiders (who were specifically targeting them for their powers) by sending them to Earth. The difference here is that, for Shadow, this event is fresh in his mind, while Sonic's had ten years (give or take) to accept what happened and move on.

Except, there's more, because losing Longclaw is itself not the main thing informing Sonic's character - it's the fact that he spent those next ten years in near-total isolation. Also similarly to Shadow, he took the last words his family said to him very seriously, and she told him to stay hidden no matter what. Combine that with the natural fear of what being found did to Longclaw, and the majority of Sonic's life has been spent hidden away, looking out at the world but unable to participate in it.

Remind you of anyone?

(I swear if the movie doesn't make a point about this parallel specifically I'm gonna lose it)

Normally, Sonic is a silly and upbeat character because that's just how he is by nature, and the feelings he keeps to himself are rarely detrimental to his health. In the movie universe, Sonic is silly and upbeat because he needed to be that way in order for his life to be bearable.

His constant chatter isn't quirky for the sake of it, it's a habit he developed out of necessity because there was no one else to talk to. He compulsively needs to fill the silence because not doing that would only reinforce how alone he was, and it's something he can't shake off even when he's not by himself anymore. His primary method of handling his feelings is to ignore them until they literally explode out of him with lightning firing everywhere.

All of this to say, a Shadow meant to be a foil to this Sonic is going to look very different from the Shadow we're used to. From what little about the movie's events have been described as of writing this, I'm inferring that Shadow's actually going to be a lot more open about his motivations for revenge than he was in the game, and that puts Sonic in the very interesting position of being more closed-off than Shadow.

Because sure, he might try to connect with Shadow's pain like he did with Knuckles. But because Sonic and Knuckles's history was so directly connected, they didn't really have to... talk that much about it. Sonic could acknowledge that they both lost their families a long time ago without having to go into detail about it or the aftermath. And because it had been so long since it happened, it was a lot easier for them to put it behind them and move on.

Shadow can't do that, because for him, Maria was lost very recently. He's not going to accept "you can move on and find new people to care about" as an option, and Sonic can't very well tell him to just ignore it like he did, either. Shadow isn't going to do the whole repression shtick.

For the first time, getting through to Shadow may just depend on Sonic being able to acknowledge his own pain, first. After all, how's Shadow supposed to interpret Sonic, if not as some random guy with a perfectly happy family and an obnoxiously happy attitude telling him that he needs to just, get over what happened to him? How can that come across as anything but naive and shallow without understanding how much Sonic suffered to get to this point?

(It's still a little naive and shallow even with that in mind, but the reason for that isn't because he has no perspective on what experiencing a violent tragedy is like - it's because his only known way of handling it is to leave it in the past and Not Think About It)

Though I do wonder if there's room for Sonic to initially clam up on his emotions even more after meeting Shadow for a bit? Like, he learns to some extent what happened, and is like "aw jeez if this is what could happen if I let myself be more upset about my lot in life then I REALLY need to reign it in" which is the exact opposite lesson he needs to learn but would be really interesting to watch

Point being, I think Sonic and Shadow are being set up as even more like mirrors to each other than usual, and I can't wait to see what they do with that potential

[bubble-leaves]

Hiya! could I request the male romanceables' ways of apologising to p/c after an argument? I saw a post about it and wanted to know your thoughts thanks so much and belated happy birthday!

So sorry about the wait, I had a sudden case of burnout!! Here we go!!

Hodari:

Hodari feels like the scum of the earth when he knows he hurt your feelings during an argument. His apologies are soft to you and brutal toward himself; he'll let you know that he's a hardass and stupid when he gets too into his own head. When that's out of the way, he'll explain how he never meant to hurt you, never in a million years. If he REALLY messed up, expect to be cooked your favorite meal, with your favorite dessert, and a long array of explanations and apologies into the night.

Reth:

Reth's also one to berate himself during his apologies, just out of habit. His apologies are more like rambles, really, due to how panicked he gets when he sees you're genuinely upset. He'll splutter out how sorry he is, how idiotic he was being, how wonderful you are, and how he'll do better. Even if it's just a little argument, Reth will make you an apology food of your liking, most often desserts. Or soup. That's a given. Whatever you two argued over will most likely not be argued about again, as Reth hates confrontation and doesn't want to relive hurting you again.

Hassian:

When Hassian hurts you, he cuts right to the chase. There are no excuses. There are rarely explanations. Absolutely no self-degradation; he keeps that to himself. Hassian apologizes up front for what he's done and asks what he could do to make up for it. And even if you forgive him and tell him he doesn't have to worry about it, he'll search for a meaningful gift anyway. Something like you like, something practical, or perhaps something poetic. He's not going to let you go without a physical apology.

Einar:

Einar is characteristically blunt whenever he apologizes. He'll explain his thought process for why he acted the way he did or said the things he said, not deminishing it by any means. He'll then list out his observations that he's had if you following your argument; you seem upset, dejected, frustrated. He'll explain how he does not like seeing you with such emotions. Finally, he'll apologize and let you know he won't say/do whatever he did again.

Jel:

Jel is a mixed bag when it comes to apologizing. He might delay apologizing he feels he's REALLY in the right. But at some point, he comes to the realization that his pride means less to him than you do. You are Jel's everything, and he's not going to let you suffer silently due to something he did. So, with all his melancholy, Jel will softly apologize to you and tell you how much he adores you and loves everything about you. He'll kiss you, hold you, whisper sweet words to you. Everything to make up for his callous behavior before, and to show you how much you mean to him.

Nai'o:

Nai'o rarely ever gets angry or argumentative. When he does, he's loud and actually kind of scary—which is the LAST THING he wants to be, for you. When he sees you upset because of something he said, did, or hinted at, he will profusely apologize. He'll hug you tight, whispering how sorry he is and how he didn't mean to hurt you or scare you. Later in the day, he'll come moping to you with a fresh-baked pie and flowers, even if you did already forgive him.

[jess-the-vampire]

Philip's death didn't really work for me.

I see quite lot of people saying it's meant to be poetic, and its meant to be lackluster by taking him from high and mighty to pathetic and a mess.

But that's not what bothers me, what bothers me, is set up with no payoff.

And also confusing consistency.

Caleb got a decent focus these last two episodes, his story with philip is alluded to and slightly dived into, and with philip seeing him and having such heavy focus on his conflicting feelings towards his brother you'd kinda expect his ending to involve him to an extent?

Whether that be him going insane or being trapped with his worst memories for the rest of his life about caleb. It feels more thematic, more painful, to watch him suffer with what he did, that he killed his brother for nothing.

But caleb isn't even mentioned in this finale, he had nothing to do with Philip's death, he's not even shown at all.

And then on top of this, Philip supposibly is killed via rain and being stomped to death......but he survived being mega blasted into a wall by a God child via goo.

So he can survive that? But not being stomped? It's not as if there's no goo remains of him left, king even mentions him being between his toes.

Like I just can't buy this actually killing him when this didn't work the last time they tried it. If a God slamming him into a wall didn't work, how is a few normal people doing it better?

And somehow he turned into young Philip? Which, I don't know how he can do that, could he do that this whole time? ( his powers are really weird to me)

I dunno man, its not like he didn't get what was coming to him, but this doesn't fit with what the show was building towards, nor does it make sense?

The main reason most people thought trapping him forever was a good idea was because he'd suffer longer and because he could never come back or reform.

But like, not only was this more merciful then he deserved (even tho him begging for his life and trying to trick luz was interesting), but this ending doesn't really sound like something he couldn't recover from.

He's such a good villian that felt like he deserved a bigger climatic death that was an climax to all the bad deeds he did, like everything came to bite him since he hurt his brother.

But we just didn't get that, its like when we had so much interesting conversations about him wanting to go home to earth and his anxiety regarding it.......but then it never comes up when he's actually ON earth from him.

I dont even wanna be mean, cause I know what the crew faced, but this isn't something that I think can be entirely put on the cut either. At the end of the day, the team chose this to be how they took belos out.

And its just underwhelming.

Hes the villian. But he's a GOOD villian, with an interesting backstory, and I can't say this ending fits what we had set up for him.

If it works for you, great.

But not for me.

I was fine with him going out being pathetic and everything like a bug, its just that it feels like we were setting up something much more personal then we got, and the fact I don't buy that this would genuinely kill him is the cherry on top.

I'll have time to mull it over so maybe my thoughts could change, but right now, I'm getting strong Toffee flashbacks.

There is still great stuff in this finale, but I don't think his ending was one of them.

[lokisprettygirl]

Utopia (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x female reader) (Non Canon AU) (18+)

Read chapter 8 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 9

Summary: Daemon gives you the gift of a lifetime.

Warning: 18+ sex ,period sex (if it bothers you skip the scene) death and destruction that comes from a ship wreckage, smut, sex, menstrual sex, unprotected sex. Some inconsistency with ship sinking, i researched as much as I could

You were sitting in the office of the hiring manager of Casatopia, a popular five star hotel just outside London, it was closer to your house though and that's what you liked. Emma had asked Dalton to give your name for the vacant sous chef position so you decided to give it a try.

You couldn't just stay at home and miss Daemon like crazy when he wasn't around you, being at home all day long was driving you bonkers. The topia in the name made you feel slightly uneasy but you ignored the thought and decided to focus on the interview.

“So how was it at night ..over there?” Preston, the manager, asked you so you gave him a confused look, hoping that he would be able to provide you with a bit more context.

“I apologize I don't understand” you mumbled politely so he gave you a small smile.

“On the island I meant, I hope I'm not stepping on your boundaries, I'm just absolutely fascinated by your survival story” he said to you, his tone was gentle and filled with genuine curiosity.

Of Course he was curious. As soon as people recognised you this was how it went, perhaps you should consider scraping 'Worked as a sous chef on Queen Utopia' from your resume. You couldn't help but feel that it may not be the most professional topic to discuss at a job interview.

“It was tough but atleast I wasn't alone, I had someone who kept me sane there, there are people on this earth who have survived months with no one by their side so I'm grateful to not be alone in that situation” you mumbled politely as you understood where he was coming from.

Prior to your experiences on the ship and the island, you were one of those people who would read about survival stories and be amazed at what the survivors had accomplished. You always found it impossible to imagine yourself in such a situation and couldn't comprehend how someone could have the resilience and to make it through something like that.

That was, until you found yourself in a similar situation on the island, and your survival instincts began to kick in.

“Yeah I know..Daemon Targaryen, you lot are famous” You gave him a tight lipped smile as he said that.

A news article had picked up Lily's reddit post which had then reached the mainstream media. The backlash was brutal, but you and Daemon stood firm and refused to get caught up in the drama. You both knew that your love and appreciation for each other shouldn't have needed any justification after the traumatic event you both had been through. It should have been self-explanatory,

“Alright you're hired” he said to you so you furrowed your brows as he didn't really ask anything about your work experiences.

“You don't want to know anything about my capabilities or -” he interrupted you before you could even finish your sentence.

“Dalton told me enough..i just wanted to meet you if I'm being honest”

Were you getting some sort of hero privilege because of your suffering? You weren't sure if you enjoyed being favored like this or not. The attention you received was overwhelming and at times made you feel uncomfortable, especially when it seemed like people were looking at you as some kind of hero rather than a regular human being who just happened to have survived a traumatic experience when there really wasn't any other option.

“Our live band quit on us a few days ago and we are looking for a band again, though i have connected with the manager already, i hope The Dragonriders would accept the job”

You sighed as he said that and you were going to politely decline the job offer but then he passed you the salary slip and you accepted it almost immediately, it was more than you could have ever imagined.

Later that day as you reached home after that weird interview session, there was a text from Daemon, he was supposed to meet you at your place..

You grabbed a few things and called a cab to make way to his place. He had given you a key to his house for emergencies purposes and normally you'd just knock but you decided to make use of the key this time, as you knew that Daemon was in pain and likely resting in bed.

As you entered his bedroom he was laying on the bed with his head squished into the pillow so you climbed into the bed and wrapped your arm around him, as soon as he felt your touch his arm circled around your waist and he placed his head between the crook of your neck. His eyes were bloodshot red, his face was warm to the touch as well, he seemed flushed and even though he was in misery at the moment you couldn't help but notice how pretty he looked like this.

“Let me take care of you ok..did you take your pill?” You asked him softly as you scratched his scalp so he barely groaned in response.

“I'll be right back okay?” you got up from the bed, turning off all the lights in the room, as you knew how sensitive Daemon was to bright lights. You brought out the candles you had packed with you and began lighting them, casting a warm soft glow around the room. You then made your way to the kitchen to fetch a bowl of ice water and a wet cloth. Once everything was ready, you returned to Daemon's room and gently tapped his shoulder to get his attention so he scooted closer and placed his head on your lap.

Dipping the cloth in the icy cold water you placed it on his forehead and he sighed as he felt the cooling sensation, he opened his eyes to look at you for a moment, his lips curved into a faint smile before he closed his eyes again and allowed you to do your thing.

He had never had anyone caring about him like this, this was one of those things that made him feel closer to you on the island and he had come to realize how precious you actually were inside out.

And now your value in his life was something nobody else would ever be able to replicate or replace.

During his migraine attacks the most Lily ever did for him was that she'd sing at times and not that he was going to compare you two, he appreciated her efforts too but you just did it differently, you took care of him in ways he always wanted to be cared for.

He laid there quite for what felt like hours and as the burning pain gradually subsided, he took your hand and kissed it lovingly before he asked you to stop, he just wanted to hold you now and cuddle the night away.

“Emma found us a gig” he mumbled so you sighed in response. You were well aware of the gig.

“She found me a job as well at Casatopia” you said to him so nodded in acknowledgement. He already knew about that.

“Fate” he muttered softly so you pecked on his lips.

“It's giving me deja vu.. doesn't it feel weird to you that we'd be working again at the same place, in the hospitality industry no less? And there's literally topia in the name?”

He pulled away a little as you said that, he wasn't really thinking about it until you pointed it out.

“Are you worried something awful is going to happen again?” he asked you with concern evident in his voice.

“Yeah..what if the hotel burns down or explodes? Or something” you mumbled, your voice held a sense of foreboding.

“That's not going to happen sweetheart..you can't go about your life living in such fear but that is not to say that your fears are not valid, they truly are ..but no matter what happens I'll find you like you have found me..i promise okay?” he reassured you gently and you couldn't help but smile at that. The trauma was indented into you so deeply but with him by your side life was so much easier to deal with.

“Are you feeling okay now?” You asked him so he hummed in response,

“I'd feel much better if you'd ride me right about now” he gave you a mischievous smirk so you tapped on his cheek lightly.

“Dirty boy” you mumbled as you climbed on top of him and immediately unbuttoned his pants. Sometimes you both needed this quick raw fuck where no foreplay was a necessity or required, you just wanted to feel him inside you and he was more than eager to spill into you as fast as you could make him.

“Would you keep your schedule clear for the next week?” he asked you so you looked at him curiously.

“The whole week? I'm starting that job..”

“Can you talk to them and start a week later?” He mumbled as his breath hitched in his chest when you sunk down on him,

“Normally it would have seemed impossible but considering that manager is such a fan of ours I think I can manage” you chuckled softly and that made him smile too.

“Mmmm the trauma has its perks huh?”

You rode him very slowly at first as you just wanted to feel him in there, your fingers worked the buttons of his shirt and then you leaned down to suck on his neck before you lowered your mouth and pressed kisses on his bare chest.

“What are you planning?” You whispered in his ear so he gave you a smile.

“I'm taking you somewhere sweetheart”

“I can't ask where?”

He shook his head as you said that.

“It's a surprise”

“Alrighty”

Next day while Daemon was rehearsing with the band you sat down in front of the tv and received a surprising albeit not really shocking news, you had a feeling that Danny had something to do with the ship sinking incident and you were proven right.

He had come out in the open to tell that he had inadvertently left the cargo hatch open on the lower deck because he was distracted by something and someone, which allowed water to enter and resulted in the sinking, when he had realised it was too late to fix it. His video had received a million views where he was seen crying and apologizing because he couldn't bear the guilt of it anymore.

Even though Danny hadn't directly implicated Lily in his statement, you couldn't shake the feeling that her involvement was still tied to the tragedy because she had sent that voicemail that night to Daemon mentioning Danny and you had seen Danny at her house that night.

As you watched the news, you found yourself at a loss for words. How could Danny have made such a devastating mistake, especially when so much was at stake? The consequences of his actions were unfathomable, and you couldn't help but feel a mixture of anger, sadness, and frustration bubbling up inside you.

People had lost their lives, families had been torn apart, and all because of one person's negligence.

You felt enraged because he was the reason why you had to suffer for so long on that Island, all of this for what?

All you felt in that moment was resentment and anger towards Lily and Danny, that night when he looked into your eyes you didn't understand that look he gave you but now you knew it was probably guilt.

Given the severity of the situation, it was likely that he was going to get charged with manslaughter and his life was ruined, that was given.

When you saw Daemon that day he seemed lost too so you just wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly to comfort him.

“Did she ever tell you about this?”

You asked him as you pulled away so he shook his head lightly,

“I can't make sense of it…how could you be involved in something like that and then..she must have known that ship would sink and she didn't even try to warn us or— i -” you rubbed his shoulders with your fingers to comfort him as you heard his voice breaking, he was at loss of words as well, same as you but it was more difficult for him because Lily was involved.

“You spend years with someone and you think you know who they are but I.. didn't know her ..at all. How could I have been in love with her if I didn't know her like that?” his eyes teared up as he questioned you so you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead.

“It's not that easy.. love is complex..you can't put it in a box like that Daemon..you loved her but honestly she never deserved your love”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer as you said that, until now he had never heard you saying anything against Lily even when she gave you every reason to do so but now he understood your resentment as he felt the same way about it. He resented her now especially because ever since he had returned all she had tried to do was possess him again, she didn't care what he had gone through and she definitely didn't care that she was one of the reasons why that had happened to him.

He really thought that perhaps with time a friendship could develop between them again but this revelation had changed that for him. He didn't want her in her life anymore, he didn't want to be around her in any form.

A week later you were packing for that surprise trip and Emma offered to help you with that,

“Where is he taking you?” She asked you so you shrugged in response as you didn't know yourself where he was taking you. This was his big surprise.

“He won't say anything..I was hoping he had spilled something to Aemond or Cole-”

“Nahh Aemond would have told me”

You nodded as she said that, the next morning he picked you up in the earliest and as you reached the dock with him your blood ran cold so he took his seat belt off and grabbed your hand.

“I need you to trust me, okay? Can you?” he asked you softly so you gulped in nervousness.

“Are we.. going on a boat ride?” your voice shook as you spoke so he nodded,

“It's going to be ok..I'll take care of you I promise.. I just ..just trust me please”

You cupped his cheeks as he said that. The ocean terrified you, anything to do with ships or boats scared you but you wanted to trust him because you had a feeling this was something really important to him and you had a feeling wherever he was taking you would only bring you happiness because he was certain of it.

As you boarded the high-speed boat, the churning waters and the speed at which the vessel was traveling brought back memories so you spent most of the time being in the deck with Daemon,

Apart from you two there were two trained operators who were going to drive you both towards the destination, you noticed how the boat was equipped with everything you'd ever need in the case of an emergency. Plenty of rations, clothes and other necessities were available.

“How much did you spend on this?” You asked him softly as you both were cuddling on the bed so he gave you a smirk.

“You don't have to worry about that..I wanted to do this for both of us”

He was being so cryptic and mysterious and perhaps you'd have felt wary of a man's intentions but it was Daemon, your cavemon and if there was something you knew about that man then it was the fact that he'd never hurt you or harm you in anyways.

With Daemon by your side the time always seemed to race so approx two days later as you finally reached your destination he put a blindfold over your eyes and asked you to not try to peek until he said so.

You couldn't help but giggle, his excitement was infectious.

He wrapped his arms around your waist as he guided you off the boat and as soon as he put you down you felt the warm sand beneath your feet and let out a literal gasp.

“Daemon–” your voice came out in a whisper and as you inhaled the air, your eyes widened.

You didn't even have to guess anymore as you recognized the scent of your surroundings immediately. You had spent six months here after all.

You were back on the island, the island that had saved your life in a way and brought the love of your life closer to you.

The uninhabited island that was now owned by Daemon Targaryen and had a name now. Utopia- a place where everything was perfect.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Note: There will be an epilogue for this to sum it up. But this was all I had to tell about Mr Cavemon and his brave girl that risked everything for him. Hope my lovely few readers had enjoyed this story 🥺

Taglist

@mcufan72 @123forgottherest @shuichiakainx @stupidthoughtsinwriting @tmlbdv

@ammo23 @anukulee @ajthefujoshi

[lightlycareless]

so, I wasn't planning on writing a continuation to the naoya/yn/toji threesome but an anon sent me an ask and the rest is history. This is a sneak peak of that sequel. 🤭

also, I'm slowly writing the new chapter for my main fic in between requests :') thank you so much for your patience!!! I shall do my best to finish soon. ❤️❤️

warnings: mentions of infidelity. mentions of previous smut activities.

the complete version can be found here.

Toji’s not to disclose if you or Naoya came back for a repeat of that night’s succession, though he will admit your pregnancy was not surprising.

It’s not like he could run away from it either, for as soon as news graced the elders’ ears, it’s all the estate spoke of. From enthusiasm to welcome the next generation of Zen’in sorcerers, to the ever-growing hope of recovering their prized cursed technique, which has been absent for hundreds of years…

Expectations for this child were at an all-time high.

But to you and Naoya, all you could care about was the blessing this baby represented.

A family.

The pinnacle of all their yearnings, the fruits of their never-ending efforts finally appearing on the positive pregnancy test you took one morning after feeling particularly nauseous…

And Toji’s, perhaps.

Toji initially didn’t think much of the “shocking” announcement. Not even after his behavior that night—they were just heat of the moment things, nothing that he meant nor really cared about, simply said to get a rise out of Naoya; and oh, was his reaction satisfying.

In other words, he really, genuinely, couldn’t care less about what the wimpy heir and his ditzy wife were to face from that point forward.

But when their behavior towards him, the engaging conversations, invitations to drink tea, amongst other activities, drastically cease, to the point of turning on their heel and going the opposite way when facing him…

It didn’t take long for the pieces to fall into place, and when the puzzle was complete, Toji could only laugh.

It’s like an open secret, albeit solely for those involved.

The baby inside you wasn’t Naoya’s.

It was Toji’s.

And this filled him with morbid fascination no other high had been able to provide.

To know that the baby everyone was praising as the future of the Zen’in, a promising sorcerer, as expected of the heir, was the ultimate irony, the exact anti-thesis of all they once declared of Toji.

He was very tempted to let everyone know.

Proudly announce the truth to the world, screaming to the top of his lungs that that baby isn’t Naoya’s, it’s mine.

The scandal this revelation would bring was nothing short of earth-shattering, and more likely than not, the elders wouldn’t even know where to start from. Although your infidelity could be a good reference.

Followed by the fact that no matter how much they try to get rid of him, he’ll always find a way to haunt them—like a ghost shackled to the estate walls, Toji would always remain in the back of their minds, unsettling them whenever they did as much as breathe.

Although for this to work, he’d have to wait until the child was born, officiated as son of Naoya, before he could do any damage.

To see the kind of face the Zen’in would have upon finding out the truth… is one that makes his prolonged stay all but worthwhile.

As well as to know your reaction for the whole ordeal—if you’ve even been able to sleep knowing well that your life was on the line by carrying such a frightening secret in your womb.

Considering the way you frequently sought him out during those lonely nights where your husband would be away for long periods of time, this probably didn’t perturb you as much. After all, what did you expect after receiving his seed as constantly as you did? That nothing would happen? No consequences to be suffered?

You were many things, but he never thought you as delusional.

Or perhaps, you were hoping for this. To have his child. He’d come to believe so after the tight way your cunt squeezed him.

Well, that would only make him the delusional one.

Either way, he suspects that while your secret might’ve prickled the back of your mind from time to time, it didn’t bother you as much as he hoped—not with the way your staff coddled your every move, how the clan would gift you items to celebrate the future head of the clan, per tradition, or how happy you appeared to be with your growing bump, gently caressing it and beaming oh how much you longed to hold the baby in your arms.

It irked him.

To see that even through this deceit, you were still happy.

It was undeserving. Wrong.

Certainly, for a man who has been sentenced to nothing but pain and disgrace since the moment he was born, it’d be impossible for him to grasp the innocence of others.

To understand some were simply with better luck, free to live as they desired, and without having to pay for the consequences of others.

Toji, now more than ever, felt that he was being used. Plucked from his misery, toyed with, and discarded once dried out.

And because of that, his motivation to ruin your and Naoya’s happiness was present as ever in his mind, heading your way to remind you of the power he had, just how easy it would be for him to plant the seed of doubt amongst the staff, let it flourish up to the elders, and ruin your and Naoya’s life.

Until your anguished face stops him.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/burst-of-iridescent/740787422094376960/i-love-how-aangs-fans-want-so-badly-to-defend-and

Your thoughts?

Let's go through it by parts

"Aang is a monk, he shouldn't date/get married/have kids"

Aang is the LAST airbender. The LAST air-nomad. Even if he had made some vow of celibacy/not having kids/not getting married (which was never confirmed or even hinted at by the show), he made it under the assumption that this would affect solely his life, not result in the death of his entire culture once he passed away.

Much like he was given a pass to kill Ozai, he would also be given a pass to break his celibacy vow - which the show never says he made in the first place.

"The Air-nomads are not one to one with Tibetan monks, it makes no sense to get hung up on the pacism"

They are not one-to-one, much the other nations. But the Water Tribes are still indigenous people living in the poles, the Earth Kingdom is known for a great wall and there's a "made in Earth Kingdom joke", the Fire Nation has sun imagery everywhere, and air nomads are even meant to visually resemble tibetan monks.

More importantly, the show made sure to highlight that, to the nomads, pacifism IS a big part of their culture and belief system, and that Aang feels very conflicted over wanting to save the world but not liking the way he's expected to just disregard everything he was taught his whole life.

Comparing "Aang is a (tibetan) monk, therefore he is a pacifist so killing would be against his beliefs" to "Aang is a (tibetan) monk, therefore he shouldn't be dating" is absurd because, yes, Avatar did choose what parts of tibetan culture would be carried over to the story, and only ONE of these made the cut.

When people complay about "People are disgarding the fact that Aang was raised to be a pacifist when they expect him to just be cool with killing Ozai" they are not saying that because "Well, a tibetan monk wouldn't do that", they are saying it because CANONICALLY, Aang's air-nomad culture would be against it.

"Being critical of the air-nomad culture is not the same as disrespecting Tibet's culture"

This one is only truth depending on the circumstance.

Obviously being critical of something the air-nomads do, but the tibetan monks don't, is not racist against real people, nor is it racist in the first place if the criticism isn't fully based on "That's not how MY culture does things, therefore it's bad."

Being critical of something both air-nomads and real life tibetan monks do is automatically being critical of both, though obviously there's a difference between "I don't agree with this belief" and "I hate this entire group of people" (for exemple, saying "I hate the Fire Nation's imperialism because of all the suffering it caused, which was clearly inspired by Japan's imperialistic past that was also attrocious" is very different from saying "I hate japanese people").

Being "critical" of something both air-nomads and real life tibetan monks do because you're going out of your way to misrespresent their beliefs, and you talk about the air-nomads the way people who are prejudiced against Tibetan culture talk about them (which a lot of people in this fandom do without even realizing) IS very fucking racist against a real life group of people.

Again, to make the distinction clear, there's a difference between "I dislike this character who happens to be black" or even "I dislike this black character because the writers were racist, intentionally or accidentally, and thus made him an objectively poorly written character that I don't like seeing on screen" and "I hate this character because he is (insert racist belief against black people here)."

So yeah, A LOT of the hate towards Aang, especifically regarding his pacifism, comes from people being genuinely racist, and pointing that out is not absurd just because "Well, he technically isn't a Tibetan monk. He just looks like one, has plenty of the beliefs and traditions of one, the narrative largely treats him as one, and the audience is clearly excected to see him as such."

[tea-and-secrets]

I always scroll past those posts that are like. a 10k joke post about how badly the OP wants to die and hates everything followed by a 2 years later reblog saying "since posting this, I've graduated college and gotten a job that I love, I have a beautiful girlfriend I'm thinking about proposing to, we live together in a lovely little apartment with our funny cat Bingus who eats all our cheese, and most importantly I am truly happy with life. Everyone reading this, I promise it gets better". Not out of disdain for OP's improvement or happiness, but because they just make me despair. I've been through all the shit they talk about, and frankly, I'm no better off years later. I've put in the work, I take the right meds every day, I go to a therapist weekly, I go to occupational therapy every couple of weeks, but every time things seem to be getting better, something happens that makes them get worse. It's a cycle so bad that I used to have a delusion that I was literally, genuinely put on this earth to suffer, that that was the reason I existed, and I would have panic attacks when things were going well because I thought it meant that I was going to die or the world was going to end because all of that suffering had lost its outlet (me). Things get better, yeah, but not for me, and seeing other people recover just makes me feel like shit.

<3

[areeis]

I've seen some argue that Spectre was obviously not as important to Ryoken as Yusaku or Takeru were, and yes, if you take into consideration what it is Ryoken's concerned about with each of them, and whose perspective we mainly follow, you'll definitely get that feeling. I just think you keep forgetting where Yusaku and Takeru were in their lives when they encountered Ryo/Revo for the first time. Both were still very much suffering from the LI, which Ryo felt responsible and guilty for. It's therefore obvious Ryo would care about them and would try, in his own way, to somehow right his wrongs. At the same time he's also a nerd who's bad at communicating, so he can honestly be glad he can duel to bring his points across. Spectre meanwhile was very much fine with how things went during the LI and he's happy with where and who he was throughout the entire series, so why would Ryo pay special attention to him in that regard? Their talks were mostly mission-focused, because why would their short scenes have contained that much else? Ryo also titled him 部下(subordinate/aide), which has the meaning of 'chosen as their leader's hands and feet', which Spectre very much was and will continue to be. I would argue that after 10 years and with all that's going on in year 1 Spectre was an anchor to Ryoken, which is why he went straight for Spe's temporary open casket for his recap episode (38) before heading out to duel himself. This was at a time where Revo was very much preparing for the possibility of his peeps dying, which is why they were held there for protection in the first place, as was shown later. There was no need for him to worry about their safety, just like his own life. This was also before Hanoi researched the other Origins, so until then Spectre, being this content as the only other LI victim known to Ryo, should've also been a boost for him, especially considering that PM could've gotten swallowed up by the ToH, which is what that final duel's conflict was about from Ryo's pov.

In year 2 Spe's very much fine with teaming up against Lightning, even if he still made a point about going against SB/Flame, if need be. Their common goal made him reconsider and he seemed genuinely unbothered, putting Hanoi's goals above any personal issues he might've had with PM/Ai and BM. As such his goals aligned with Ryo's, too. Spe's defeat against Lightning obviously shocked all of Hanoi, with Revo's reaction being very telling, being the only one to call out. Spe's early death alongside SB's/Flame's and BM's/Aqua's also meant PM/Ai were the only allies Revo could put his hopes in. If it had been SB and Flame or BM and Aqua, I would very much argue he'd acted similarly, given the stakes. It was an all-out war against a threat to humanity, after all. Also in year 2, when Earth got vivisected and subsequently transplanted, I would argue the events definitely affected Spectre, but not to the point where they could've had him talk to Ryoken for anything meaningful. If they did talk it might've been something like this: 'I had an emotional surge of feelings that weren't my own.' 'The ties between Origin and Ignis are undeniable. If you feel like it's beyond your control, sit this war out and talk to the doctors if you're experiencing any discomfort.' 'No, I think I can still handle it, Sir.' 'I see. Thank you.' Spectre is honest and loyal above all else. If he had said anything more, it might've led viewers to believe Spectre was going to jump ship. Keeping Spe's character simple and aligned with Hanoi just goes to show there was never any intention of exploring that aspect of his character. It's also clear that Hanoi don't have a problem with ignis talk in general, like when Spectre mentioned his ignis in ep. 59 during Hanoi's regrouping. I think Spectre's just not interested in putting meaning to the sudden emotions he's experiencing, and by the time he faced Lightning he'd already come up with what to talk about to close that chapter very much on his own, so he's capable of thinking bothersome things through on his own, too. This would also mean keeping these kinds of unnecessary topics away from Ryoken during a time he was planning for war. Time and place, you know? Both also seem equally happy to be restored after PM's win against Boh.

Year 3 didn't leave much room for much that's not centred on Yusaku and Ai, but Ryoken still managed to close a chapter in his life, just like Takeru did. This time there's nothing Spectre could've added: his character was explained in year 1, stuff with Earth got resolved in year 2. At that point he had no (speed duel) cards to sell (unlike Go and Aoi), so no on-screen duel for him, either. Revo and Spe both overlooking LV at the end feels very peaceful to me, both having an interest in knowing if PM will return, too. It's obvious Spe would ask and Ryo would respond, as it's their go-to dialogue in other scenes, too. Also Revo's just been alive for longer every given time to be able to judge PM and his actions better, imo.

tl;dr: Spectre is a constant Ryoken can rely on without question. Spectre does all he can for Ryoken, and Ryoken doesn't force him into anything. As such, even if their relationship seems surface-level, it's a relationship based on deep trust and experience with each other. There are no deep discussions and conflicts, because there simply are no conflicts.

[togglesbloggle]

Free Will is a Value Statement

When I was a kid, we had a dog.  It didn’t go well.

This particular dog- one of several in my childhood, and the only time it went awry- loved us very much, and we loved him too.  But when it came to strangers, he was very aggressive, and very dangerous, and not fully under our control.  We’d have to lock him up when there were visitors to the house, and even then it was less ‘barking’ and more ‘baying of hounds’, and unlike some animals he didn’t suddenly turn nice when he was in the same room with them.  And he was large, much too large for this to be safe.  Things came to a head when my mom was taking him for a walk and he started threatening a small kid playing in their own yard, and she came back terrified that if he ever got out, somebody would be badly hurt.

I remember quite clearly the conversation where my parents told me we couldn’t keep him.  They’d made the unfortunate choice to feed me cookies at the same time, to make the bad news go down easier; the net result is that there’s a specific brand of cookies that, to this day, I still can’t eat.  They just turn to ashes in my mouth.

(The good news is that, against all odds, it seems the ‘farm upstate’ that they sent him to was actually real.  They literally saved the receipts, so that when I got old enough to realize what that kind of story usually meant, they could give me proof that they hadn’t lied.  He did live what I believe to be a happy life in what was, more or less, a wild animal sanctuary.  Not all dangerous animals are so lucky, but sometimes, they are.)

The reason to dredge this up is to notice how unthinkable it was for any of us to call him ‘evil.’  Even when he was straining at the leash as hard as he could snarling and growling at a three year old, he wasn’t evil.  ‘Dangerous’, yes.  ‘Violent’, certainly.  But not that, not ever.

And that’s how it works, right?  We recoil at using the E-word for pets, young children, anyone that’s enough weaker than we are.  Evil-as-an-adjective is for peers and superiors, things which present a genuine threat to us.  You can watch this change for the natural world in real time- us moderns watch nature documentaries about predators avidly, and not as horror films, but our received culture still has ancient fairy tales about the ‘big bad wolf’ that date from before our conquest of Earth’s ecosystems.  What a difference a little power makes!  What was once a real and imminent fear, and a central figure in the atlas of evil, has withered away to a narrative archetype with no material referent, while the wolves themselves become objects of admiration and wonder, or a focus of conservation efforts, in direct proportion to our own sense of security against them.

And maybe you’re not the sort of person who thinks about evil much at all, which is honestly a pretty good strategy most of the time.  It can often obstruct thinking more often than it clarifies.  But even if you don’t, I’ll bet you still think about ‘justice’ a fair bit- and that follows the same rules, for about the same reasons.  The punitive and remunerative kinds of justice, anyway.  Was it some kind of punishment, to have that part of my family broken away when I was a child?  Was my dog’s loss and confusion something he deserved?  Of course not.  It was just- disharmony, I suppose.  We couldn’t find a way to put the world right, and so we suffered instead.

And yet when we reach a certain level of direct personal injury or threat of injury, especially by human causes- political enemies, alien people, angry mobs- then, almost without fail, we find ourselves reaching for this idea of justice.  (And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?) Show me, anywhere in the world, where a person has in all sincerity called for justice- and I’ll show you someone who feels weak.

Now, I can point at sentences like ‘my dog was not evil,’ and it should be pretty clear that I’m making a value statement, rather than expressing mundane factual belief in the same mold as ‘grass is green.’  That is, I’m not disputing any mechanism of action, or trying to explain why events occurred as they did.  I’m not giving you information you could use to prevent this from happening to you too, much as I hope you can.  I’m telling you how I feel, about what I want, about who I am.  I’m telling you about my grief.

Loosely speaking, you can imagine beliefs falling along a spectrum.  Don’t take this typology too seriously, it’s just a useful distinction to make for present purposes.  The first extreme of our spectrum is just the observational set of beliefs- the ‘sky is blue, grass is green’ category.  These are especially good for making plans that work, since they model a system that we usually want to work with in some capacity.  If you don’t want to fall off a cliff, it helps to have a good map. The second type is imperatives or value statements, beliefs about how to direct our efforts.  ‘Murder is bad’ is a belief like any other, but instead of telling us how to accomplish a goal, it tells us what goals we ought to have and what ends we should work towards.  (Moral realists will think of this second category as being a subset of the first; that’s perfectly reasonable but orthogonal to my point.).  Both types of belief are absolutely necessary for acting in the world: the means and the end, if you like.  

Here’s where I reveal my thesis:  When, honestly, was the last time you used the concept of free will to make a plan?

“People have free will” sure feels like a factual belief, from the inside.  It’s a description of who we are, right?  Like saying we usually have two legs, like saying the Earth goes around the Sun?  Only… it isn’t doing any of the things I do with factual beliefs.  It doesn’t make predictions, it doesn’t expand my capacity to act on the world.  If anything, ‘free will’ as a concept has a weird twisty negative definition (often something like ‘nonrandom indeterminacy’) that resists analysis of the reductive kind we usually use for this sort of thing.  

And if we look at how it’s positioned in the grand constellations of human thought, it’s awkwardly conjoined with a lot of the other things I’ve been talking about here.  Good, evil, justice.  I use my belief in free will a lot when I’m talking about culpability or praiseworthiness, when I’m deciding what to act towards, when to cheer and when to boo.  

I use it when I’m feeling weak.

Or, less personally, think about where ‘free will’ crops up in our court system.  And it does, in more than a few guises.  For example, altered states that compromise our volition are taken into account, and might even qualify as fully mitigating circumstances that tell the court not to punish the transgression.  (“I was not negligent on that construction site, your honor, I’m a diabetic and I was having a blood sugar crash.”)  In other cases, such as in murder charges, malice aforethought or planning the crime carefully might upgrade the sentence to be more harsh, whereas a crime ‘of passion’ might net fewer years in prison. (First-degree versus second-degree murder.)  What all of these have in common, notably, is in assessments of culpability, relevant to the question of how strongly the community wants to punish or condemn the situation.  But when it comes to the presentation of evidence, the chain of material observations that we use to establish confidence in the story of ‘what happened’, we invoke ‘motive’ instead- that is, we ask what benefits, inducements, insults, or other circumstances might have led the defendant to commit the act.  “Your honor, the accused is ordained with free will and is capable of choice,” is, notably, not considered sufficient to establish motive- but “your honor, the defendant was listed in the victim’s will as a primary recipient, and they were seen to have a large argument two days before the murder,” very much is.  Interesting discrepancy, no?  When we ask whether we should condemn others or show mercy, we care deeply about the defendant’s capacity to exercise free choice.  But when we ask material questions about what happened, trying to get a clear picture of the world as it is, we instead ask where the defendant is positioned in a causal web of material and social circumstances.

It’s hard, really hard, to reliably tell when our beliefs are about facts, describing things other than ourselves, and when they’re doing something else, paying rent in other ways.  But I notice, when I was a little kid crying in the car, I never once asked whether any of this was my dog’s fault.  It’s not that I didn’t know whether he had free will or not; it’s that it didn’t occur to me to ask.  I asked if it was my fault, certainly.  I’m sure my parents did too.  But we never asked if it was his, whether he’d decided to be this way.  That’s just not what ‘free will’ as a concept was for.

So, am I saying there’s “no such thing as free will” in the sense that I’m saying humans are fully deterministic and mechanistic?  Nah, not really.  To reiterate: I’m not saying that I have any confidence whatsoever that humans are deterministic, mechanical agents.  I think there’s plenty of room for consciousness to complicate the story of causality in ways I can’t anticipate; there’s every chance that human brains aren’t just billiard balls bouncing around in a universe running on linear algebra or whatever.  But I don’t think that ‘free will’ as currently discussed is in any sense an alternative to that model, either.  What I’m trying to say is that ‘free will’ isn’t really a claim about what the world is like at all.

The opposite of a belief in free will isn’t ‘I assert humans are chemical robots governed by deterministic electrochemical reactions’.  Instead, the opposite is ‘I am not angry at you for hurting me.’  Free will is a value statement.

Remember that ‘rate my dog’ parody account, and the central joke was that all the dogs got scores of like 12/10 or whatever?  And the punchline to it all, when somebody tried to call them out on the uselessness of a rating system that always stayed maxed out: “They’re good dogs, Brent.”  If I were at a high enough perch- strong enough, wise enough, safe enough- then that same optimism, I think, is the only part of my need for justice that would survive.  True power doesn’t rank humans from best to worst, or spend time blaming us for outcomes that cause suffering to ourselves or to others.  It doesn’t need to.

[fadeintocase]

i know your music is really personal and there's stories behind songs that you give when asked, and a lot of them seem really heavy. have you ever seen other interpretations that actually made you upset or disappointed that you weren't being understood?

There's always a little bit of ambiguity in meaning and subsequent leeway in interpretation with any creative thing you do. I am generally cool with whatever people wanna pull from things, and get impressed when people connect the same dots i was when i'm writing something.

However two stories come to mind, one funny and one emblematically frustrating.

The funny one

way back when Smoke Damage blew up from some nightcore stuff, i got an influx of attention. I got an email sent, i can't remember through where, asking about the meaning of the line "looking at the present's fucking sad" in that song. They wanted to know, genuinely, if i meant "present" as in current, or "presents" as in gifts, like christmas presents. I guessed this person was very young. And explained plainly but lightly, "The song is about not being happy with the current situation you're in." To which i got an email back, "Ah, so it's about presents? is it like a christmas song?" To which i. had no idea how to respond to.

The frustrating one

There's an OC of mine i thought up when i was a dark and edgy teenager. I wrote several posts about them on here, their connection to my mythos broadly, the things that inspired them, i joked about how it was ultimately a bullshit dark and edgy character. God of pain and suffering, physical form covered in scars, bleeds black, destined to become the soul at the heart of every star and feel the eternal suffering of burning for eternity, to pull other damned souls into the stars for them to also suffer, and feel the weight of every black hole as a pit in their stomach. Evolved after several lifetimes of samsara until they become the most archetypical form of theirself. A friend of mine once told me they thought about what a higher god viewing a person on earth would have to look like, and it would involve a lot of spinning. having to sync up with so much spinning just to peer into the lives of this planet.

I ended up writing a song about this character, The Astrocartographer, about this god of suffering watching all the people destined to suffer for their destiny. (They are also introduced in chapter 3 of PAN, my story about dragon aliens from another universe and a bug robot that talks to them.) At some point recently, someone on here posted a comic of lyrics from the Astrocartographer, not crediting me by my artist name, and in the description just kind of, making up what they thought it was about.

And that did offend me a little bit. That something that was a deep expression of some shit i came up with when struggling with my childhood, that eventually evolved into part of my sprawling fictional universe that i'm proud of. Like i put the effort in this a character who's spoken through stories and ARGs and music of mine, the subject of my most recent album, got glossed over because they were more comfortable with the thought that it was written about a ship they like, because a few keywords lined up for their interpretation. I don't mind interpretations, but i do get frustrated when people make a point to drown out my stated intention, ignore it, and claim my intention was their interpretation. Especially when it represents my own work i have been trying to get out there. long answer, but thanks for the question!

[watercraver]

There's a thought that's been brewing in my mind for a while and I feel like I need to get it out there.

I'm not a very empathetic person. I have a lot of trouble caring about the needs, wants, feelings, ect... of other people. Even people that I personally enjoy being around.

The emotions and well-being of strangers are completely irrelevant to me. I can't really find the will-power to care if someone I don't know is having the worst day of their life. I can't find a way to care if they live or die.

That being said, I understand when situations are unfortunate for someone. I can see a homeless person and understand that being homeless must suck, even if I personally don't care if they're homeless.

That being said, I've seen a lot of images and new stories about the genocide in Gaza. I've seen children mutilated. Schools and hospitals bombed. I've seen countless tragedies caused by the Israeli military. I've gotten several asks sent to me about families needing money to escape the genocide. Once again, the well-being of strangers is completely irrelevant to me. HOWEVER!

Even I can understand that what is happening in Gaza is an absolutely horrific display of human cruelty. Even someone like me, with almost 0 capacity for empathy, can look at the genocide and feel genuine disgust towards Israeli forces.

I can't fathom how the governments that are meant to uphold peace can sit idly by while Israel reenacts WWII.

How on God's green earth can a borderline sociopath have more compassion for the suffering of others than the people that are meant to stop genocide from happening in the first place.

All of my empathy stems from logical conclusions.

What is the logic in genocide?

I don't know how to properly conclude this post, so I'll just say what needs to be said.

Free Palestine.

[minimeowsom]

Moonlight Chicken just ended and i can't deal with it.

So i cried, not today no today i laughed and squicked mainly. But yesterday or last week, the last four weeks of Moonlight Chicken were gut wrenching sadness. And just two weeks ago I posted a Post saying I was ready to throw hands if Li Ming and Heart don't get a happy ending. I was willing to trait everybody else's happiness to make sure the babies are happy. But now I think I can't stay with that. but more on that later. 

JimWen

So I saw a very good post about people not being able to really care for JimWen because they can't relate to them. And I agree, I am , let's say, around 10 years younger than them. I didn't have to deal with the struggles they had to deal with yet, they feel genuine and tragic to me, but not relatable. This is in no way meant to discredit Earth or Mix Acting, they were really good in this, I could feel especially Jims Hurt and anger a lot. But what I am trying to say is I don't feel like I am able to say something useful about their Relationship or characters because I don't know what I would do in their situation, I will leave that to people who can. moving on.

LiMingHeart

 LiMingHeart the Heart and Light of this show, especially in the first seven episodes they were the light to everybody else's darkness.They of course both had their on set of problems and struggles do deal with, but between Li Ming feeling misunderstood and Heart not feeling heard at all, whenever they were together they were shining, loving and supporting one another. I would say as a couple i can relate to them the most, (alan is also a strong contender here but we talk about him later) I am just like one and a half years older then someone who is just finishing highschool, and i had to explain to my parents that i have no idea what i wanna do after school, and coming from an academic household that is not what they wanna hear. me going to university was always a given to them. Li Ming's main conflict with Jim revolves around a similar situation. I can feel how misunderstood he feels, especially because Fourth is an exceptional young actor, he is so good at conveying his feelings through his eyes. I am baffled every time. 

And Heart with his parents just breaks my heart every time. The way they needed some eighteen year old kid , come in and show them how to love their son is so sad. But we love to see some character development and how in the end they not only learned sign language for him, but allowed him to go to the states with Li Ming.Gemini as Heart was fantastic too, the boy had three lines in this show, so his lines were his facial expression, the way heart signed (because we didn't get subtitles for what he said either) and his body language. And Gemini made you feel it all, the happiness with Li Ming, or the anger and frustration at his parents for not trying to learn for him.  I loved their story and the way they discovered first love between them, and as I said I was ready to let everybody else suffer to make sure they stay happy…. but then someone just went straight into my heart.

AlanGaipa

Alan just struck a chord with me. Not two Weeks ago I got out of a four year Relationship my Partner ended (for me) out of nowhere and I still have him in my life, because we have the same friend circle and we don't want to break it because of our breakup. So yeah how do you deal with your partner still being there but not really being there. So from the moment we got introduced to AlanWens story I felt with him, yes he had no right to act like Wen cheated, which he didn't, but Wen didn't really help the situation by continuing to sleep with someone who was obviously desperately trying to hold on to him. But somewhere along the story I just wanted something bright in Alan's life. not just for him, but for me , someone to help us heal. And who better than a boy who has so much love to give, who needs someone that recognizes that love and is willing to give just as much love back to him. Because we know Alan gives so much to his Boyfriend, maybe a bit too much for Wen but I am sure Gaipa can take it, and respond with the same amount.

This is also very much swayed by my love for FirstKhao and everything they do. Khao is such a talented actor when it comes to his emotions and his feelings. It is the first time I cried for a TV series in my life, when I saw him breaking down in the hospital after his mother died. 

And the way First played Alan gave me the Feeling of looking in an emotional mirror, because yes i know what he feels like and how hard it is to let go of five years of love.

But in the end we got crumbs of what their flirting and future might look like and it was enough for me to fall in love with them and feel like Alan will for sure find Happiness in him and maybe just maybe a Geipa will walk into my life too. 

At first i thought for sure they wouldn't give Gaipa and Alan a story, i was sure they would just go off to heal on their own, because we had nothing after Episode 6 and normally the show takes time to develop something as big as a Relationship, but maybe that's what they tried to tell us, not every Happiness takes as long as Jim and Wen, maybe you can meet the cute chicken seller boy, get his number, and ask him on a date in a couple of days. 

Something i thought after watching yesterdays and todays Episode was that they put it in because it is FirstKhao we are talking about, their friendship and especially their success as a couple, but that is not true, they filmed Moonlight chicken while the Eclipse Premiered, before First and Khao became the “Powercouple” they are today. Like they let the scene in where First cried when Khao sang, because that is what it was, because it was not in the script, First is just a huge softie for Khao.So I am even happier about the fact that in the end even both people that were left behind by Jim and Wen found happiness in each other.

Something Else i wanted to add was a very interesting post about the color coding of the show. Alan is seen in dark and Blue colors, taking it with him wherever he goes and even putting it on other people, it shows his sadness and loneliness even more, but the moment he meets Gaipa at the Funeral he starts to glow golden like the rest of the characters in love.

And as he leaves Gaipa and the Funeral and goes to leave it comes back, we then again see him in yellow and gold again with Gaipa at the bank and the restaurant, because Gaipa brings the light slowly back in his dark world. 

Conclusion:

Honestly 10/10 would recommend, for everybody, not only BL or Drama Fans, just everybody, i am probably gonna force it on one of my movie nerd friends, just because of the Filmography and the superb acting in this series

[ultfreakme]

I mean no offense by this, but there is no need to bash on my boy Chris just because. I care about him. And I'm not even salty about Jon's age up. Matter of fact, the age up is the best thing to happen to his character. He is way better as an adult in my opinion. Before that he was just Clois' Cute Kid with a cute kid personality, but nothing special.

And no, Chris isn't better as Lor Zod. Clark adopting him and doing for a kid what his folks did for him when he crashed no Earth is way better than Zod being a bad father and Chris growing up with some of the worst people in the Galaxy. But to each their own I guess. Just no need to trash on one character to uplift another.

I wasn't bashing Chris as a character, I was just genuinely under the belief no one could give that much care for a character whose appearances were so few and characterization so sparse, especially as Clois's son. This was Geoff Johns' fault for not delivering on the themes you brought up. But you're right, to each their own, and the themes that were at least attempted at being explored were pretty good. I think you'd enjoy Warworld Saga a lot if you like the theme of Clark adopting new children and the idea of breaking abuse cycles!

I personally like Chris as Lor Zod better because the abuse in the Chris arc, for me at least, was under-explored and made no sense for Zod & Ursa's characters (not that i think they won't be abusive, just that how it was written made no sense).

I'm a more recent reader for comics so the recent Zod things I read were the Bendis run where the Zod fam was going at it against the Kent-Lane Kryptonian fam, and Kneel Before Zod. Lor Zod is still an abused child, he's the same age as 'Chris' was when he was sent to earth before, but Lor's abuse is far more sinister, defined, and in-character for Zod & Ursa.

We are told Chris was abused. But why? Zod and Ursa being the bad guys isn't enough of an explanation, & if Geoff Johns seriously wanted to explore this topic, he should've invested more emotional effort. ZodUrsa went to great lengths to concieve Lor, why on earth would they abuse him in a way that made Chris just hate them? Without any specified purpose? He was their only shot for all they knew, why did he not tell Clark about Zod? Why did they jsut never discuss anything? Clark can detect lies so if Chris was told to lie to Clark about his parents being ZodUrsa, why didn't Clark call it out?

Lor's abuse is specific, it makes sense for Zod and Ursa as characters, and it definitely has an impact on how Lor acts. Lor is their weapon, their heir, the future ruler of the Krypton they envision. He is therefore made into a person with no empathy for others, the perfect weapon meant to lead New Krypton. But he is still an abused child who wants love from his parents. Currently, he's realized Zod and Ursa genuinely don't care about him as their child, and they banished him for questioning Zod's authority. Lor at least, has more agency from what I've seen. He lashes out, he is unpleasant, he is still a child who wants to just be, loved. He feels more compelling to me because Lor isn't a perfect victim, far from it.

And abused kids can have agency, which Chris just, did not seem to have at all in the Action run I read. Otho and Osul are characters in their own right despite the abuse they suffered, and the dehumanization. I think Geoff Johns fumbled writing Chris, but I'm glad the fandom seems to have found his story compelling nonetheless! Sorry fi my post came off like I had some grudge against Chris specifically, it was more about how people react to Jon's age-up.

Hope you have a nice day.

[hoursofreading]

As a leftist, my core political assumption is that we are all responsible for each other’s material well-being, that we have a duty to build the kind of society where everyone’s basic needs are met, where everyone enjoys a certain degree of material comfort, and where our rights are respected equally regardless of race, religious, sexual and gender identity, ethnicity, or creed. That is the kind of mutual caring that I signed up for when I became politically conscious as a teenager. I never signed up for a vision of a society that helps everyone out there to constantly feel valid, mostly because society could never achieve such a thing. Nobody walks around feeling good about themselves all the time! Where on earth did people get the idea that human beings are meant to enjoy a permanent sense of mental security and social validity? That’s a totally unworkable and in fact quite cruel standard. If you want to be good to yourself, I suggest that you stop expecting society to be your therapist and go see licensed medical professionals in private to address the issues in your life that are appropriately treated that way. And if you want to be good to your society, I suggest you help to defeat the medicalization of everything, the casualization of the concept of trauma, the celebration of mental disorders, the assumption that everything that makes us unhappy is an injustice, the insistence that all conflict is abuse, and the infantilization of the human animal. That’s the best way to help. I would never respond to someone telling me that they’re in pain by saying that I don’t care. In fact I’ve spent hours talking complete strangers through mental health crises. But if you care for people you try to walk them towards self-reliance, dignity, and toughness. Not from a lack of compassion, but precisely out of compassion. What compassion calls for is not pop therapy or affirmation but the extension of adult respect, helping people to endure a tragic earth. What’s required in the days ahead is for all of us to be a little harder on ourselves while we fight like hell for a world with less poverty, racism, injustice, sexism, and inequality. And we have to unwind a lot of bad habits of mind that have become inescapable before they hurt more people than they already have. Yeah, sometimes you have imposter syndrome. And sometimes you feel like an imposter because you actually do suck at what you’re trying to do. Sometimes she’s not a narcissist, she just doesn’t love you the way you want her to, and she never will. Sometimes you don’t have ADHD, you just hate your job. Sometimes your boss isn’t a sociopath, he’s just correctly identified you as unqualified for a leadership position. Sometimes you really do have schizophrenia, only there’s nothing glamorous or exciting or romantic about it, and now you’re fat from meds and trying to hold down a steady job and going to support group to drink grainy coffee and hear people tell the same stories over and over again. And sometimes you’re just in pain because the world didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, and you’re trying to scratch out a life you can live with, and you get overwhelmed with your mundane unhappiness on the subway home from work, and you think to yourself that it must be true that your suffering is something grander, something that calls out for medical attention and reasonable accommodation, something more that makes it easier. But it isn’t and it doesn’t and there isn't and you're just another good, deserving human being filled with the pain of being alive. I’m sorry. I am genuinely so sorry. You wanted things, and you didn't get them, and it hurts. You wanted to be something else, and you're what you are, and it hurts. You thought life would be more than it is, and it isn't, and it hurts. Me too. All of it hurts. So let it hurt.

Prologue to an Anti-Therapeutic, Anti-Affirmation Movement