#i fucking hate it here sometimes
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current mood is repulsed aroace pissed off at sexualization of my favourite characters when I was just trying to absorb some content about them and their personalities/aesthetics instead of just seeing a bunch of posts about them being thirsted over
#i fucking hate it here sometimes#like can we not just appreciate people without having crushes on them???#is that all people care about?#grrrrrrr#aroace rants#repulsed aroace rants#aroace#repulsed aroace#romance repulsed#sex repulsed#aromantic#asexual#aro#ace#apothiromantic#apothisexual
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doing the country challenge on letterboxd (watching at least one film from each country on the LB world map) and as i work my way thru the short films from some of the smaller countries on the map and read reviews it's becoming so clear who actually enjoys engaging with + finds meaning in film and art in general and who looks at it as, like, a game that can be won or leveled up. there are so many comments on films produced in countries with no film industry to speak of, saying "i only watched this to turn the country green in my stats" and rating it two stars? like what do you mean you aren't overwhelmed by the inextinguishable human drive to create? so sorry that nauru, a country with a population of 12,000 whose land has been ravaged by phosphorous mining and public funds depleted by economic corruption, hasn't produced a coppola-level epic for you to watch. sorry the short film about a group of boys in eritrea who collect beles fruit and swim in the lake didn't have any 1:1 allegories for you to feel smart about picking up on. kill yourself
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2nd hard reboot of the day...
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I made a post a while back saying how disappointing it was that whenever I search tumblr for ED stuff to vent and talk about the frustrations of bullimia and binge eating disorder I get hit with a tsunami of pro ana people and every now and then I'll get a pro ana blog reblog/like it and come to my page and reblog my shit and call it "thinspiration" and it's such a fucking downer getting a notification like that. We are not agreeing we are very much disagreeing and I'm so sick of putting my mental health on the back burner to protect the fee fees of some manipulative, self centered narcissist and don't tell me that "they can't help it it's not their fault" fuck off with that I don't have to put up with their shitty lives negatively impacting mine. I don't want pro ana ANYTHING anywhere near my space at all so I'm just gonna ignore, block and report that shit whenever it comes up for me from now on. Sick of this detrimental shit on my journey when I need to vent.
#ED#Eat my whole entire fucking asshole#I fucking hate it here sometimes#Bullimia#Binge eating disorder#Pro ana#Eating disorder#Rant over
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y'know one of the things that piss me off the most about the elections in germany? that the party (Freie Wähler) of the guy who didnt even apologise when it got out that antisemitic flyers had been found in his backpack at school had the biggest increase in voters in bayern (bavaria). and the nazi party (not the same btw. its called AfD) got the second most votes in hessen (hesse) and the third most votes in bavaria.
#i fucking hate it here sometimes#afd#freie wähler#hubert aiwanger#tw antisemitism mention#cw antisemitism mention#antisemitism mention#antisemitism mention tw#antisemitism mention cw#< trying to get every tag thats possible sorry#germany#german politics#my post
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love it when I’m feeling overwhelmed in a building with bright lights and tons of people talking where I’m expected to be engaged and involved in conversation or at the very least be visibly paying attention (because I can’t just sit and listen with my eyes closed because the lights are too bright and my head hurts) and so I make the executive decision to sit in the bathroom with the lights off for the majority of the time and am then asked by my father what’s wrong, are you alright? And I respond with idk I just feel bad mentally. He says I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well, what do you think is causing this? and I say maybe it’s the fact I’ve been expending massive amounts of emotional energy every day for the past year or so with very few breaks because I’m taking care of my elderly grandmother who has the beginnings of dementia, and today I also spent 5 hours in a car and have been entertaining my very excitable 3 year old niece for several hours. and he says. this bitch fucking says I think you’re under a spiritual attack. ok then. you can keep your opinions to yourself preacher man
#brother i am feeling the autism HARD rn#fuck man im gonna kill myself. not really i have too much to live for. but also i need to not be spoken to for a few hours.#i fucking hate it here sometimes#i love my family but. fuck man. i need to not be in this environment
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I spend ONE NIGHT binging Wednesday and now everyone's talking about vanilla extract
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I swear to god.
#Op you’re so real for that#I fucking hate it here sometimes#why do they do that?#the real villains are bill and Filbrick and I Stand by that#what do you mean the 12 year old was “too selfish” she’s 12!#reblog#It’s time to take a Stand fr
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#“i'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated you” why can't u say smt unserious back#like “sorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.” or like “ur loss lmao”#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like “hmm i see. that's an interesting way to play it” WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING “INTERESTING” ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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i was trying so hard to come in in a good mood i even tried listening to my favorite music on the way here and as soon as i come in i’m getting bitched at abt random shit if it’s not one department it’s another
#if i’m so bad at my job and can’t do anything right why don’t they just fire me#unfortunately i’m not quite that lucky#i fucking hate it here sometimes#like im always getting complaints even once i do shit right SOMEONE has to find something else to complain about and i’m just. over it#i hate cleaning i hate my job i hate the way people treat me i hate this shit#snow.txt
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Mostly Hiring manager, but HR manager and PR manager too
#elden ring#elden ring varre#white mask varre#varre#white faced varre#tarnished#tarnished oc#varre x tarnished#tw; blood#suggestive#no jokes or humor this time sorry#just Varre being Varre#I know I usually stick to humor stuff but this clawed through my brain like an eldritch horror#I actually hate 5/11 Varre faces I drew here but I did my best#sometimes homeboy is gonna look like a lil gremlin and there’s nothing I can do about it#but also those other 6 /11 faces are the best I’ve ever done so I’ll take it#never been more clear to me how I unconsciously push myself to do harder things#like we got crazy hand angles with defined knuckles and fingernails#we got the upward angle face that doesn’t look like shit#we got form fitting lighting that is passable#semi accurate fabric physics#did I not give a fuck about the BG#yes#but I’m here for Varre sex appeal not rendering bricks#also misericorde magically changes scale throughout the whole comic#lmao oops#most detailed environmental lighting I’ve done too#Christ the lengths I go to for deranged fictional men#at the very least I feel like the dialogue isn’t ooc#me fighting for my life to make sure Varre looks like the same damn character between each panel
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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear
#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly#he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over#in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#A Watcher's work is never done#rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath#and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast#and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper#than six feet under by the end of it all haha#I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options#to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little#and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness#that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me
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idk why ppl put comments like these + hate comments of the show/character/ship under the tags of a gifset knowing full well that the OP CAN and will probably see it and if u think this is a compliment IT IS NOT please stop doing this
#this is also why i dont have my inbox open#im so exhausted#im trying me best to ignore the hate tags and tags like this but sometimes u refresh notifs and u accidentally see them LMAOO...... 😭#and the cycle of why do i continue to do this continues#ik this is like the 1% of the comments of the tags but ppl are so fucking annoying#i also hope a lot of people understand why gifmakers complain about this because it is VERY prevelant#everyday i see a tag where its oh i dislike (insert character ship show writers etc) BUT....#OK I DONT CARE???????????????????? YOU KNOW I CAN SEE THIS????? IF U HAVE ANYTHING NEGATIVE TO SAY JUST WRITE YOUR OWN TEXT POST!!!!#and yes block block block block#anyways like 9/10 ppl here are the sweetest and nicest and ily guys#personal tag#tw suicide
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bunny butt: shiny edition ✨
[op is a femme dyke, he/ze/bun pronouns]
#ok to rb#everyone thank lilith for these pictures coming into existence 🥰🤭#also: i took these at 8am so the natural light really washed me out but honestly. i still love them#(also i say the light washed me out bc i have giant ass windows in this shitty small apartment so it's like Floodlights that early in the A#tbh we dont actually need lamps in here until the sun sets. its like the One part i love about this building. i love natural light so much)#(but also yeah the caveat means my phone camera really struggles adjusting to the light sometimes RIP)#(but im still hot as fuck even with that)#(also for piss kink friends: this is my pissfit. i havent actually gotten pissed on in it yet but its so cute anyway &i WILL!!!)#(i have used it to be a menace :3c also this is the outfit that jiggles video was in mutuals btwww)#bunnyflesh#femme dyke#fat femme#fat femme friday#femme4all#femme bait#butch bait#dyke bait#t4t nsft#t4t dyke#also i hate adding my sexuality and pronouns to these but I've been getting misgendered a bit lately a few different ways so. worth a try i
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screencap redraw + color palette fuckery bc the hyperfixation is reaching critical levels in my neural pathways
#gotta break up the shitposts sometimes !#also its so much fucking harder doing color palette challenges for ppl instead of sonic characters what the fuck#hate it here in back to drawing human beings town#mob psycho 100#mp100#mob psycho fanart#mp100 fanart#reigen arataka#doing my part to put something in the reigen tag besides thirst posts and office yaoi o7#respect to those in that line of work but i just wanna look at this guy being silly
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