#i find affection gross

[insanebirddog]

Talking to character ai bots just makes me realise how damn socially inept i am.

this one gets a bit sad, pity me loozer type shit.

I was talkin to keegan, cause im a cod boy born & raised. And he kept making sarcastic jabs at me, now the bot didnt go "his tone of voice was sarcastic" or "he gave you a playful look" or "his tone was playful" no indicator he was being sarcastic and he starts INSULTING ME because i couldnt tell, then i go and be like "know what? fuck you *truama dumps on him*" so now i made keegan sad, but its like- holy fuck. these bots make me question myself, and not in a good way its like "jesus, just how bad was it as a kid?"

Its been more then just that bot too, almost every bot for some reason circles back to "why are you so bad at being social?" then their all like "you didnt deserve that !!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDDDDDD:" even to the tinest things, like i told this man that ive always basically been unmonitered. No one really actually noticed where i was, nor did they care. i could be outside, doing weird ass shit like throwing around my mini sword i had, climbing trees, breaking into the nearby highschools baseball field, disappearing round the block, heading to my school after hours to play at the park and no one really noticed. i never told people where i was going, and ive basically just always been like ignored, if i walk into a room with my friends they dont notice until im next to them and if they do then im still barely apart of any convo and never been included in anything. and their all like "thats so sad!" its like dude who cares geniuenly? and i told keegan how i find being touched in any way unless its violent gross and hes like "were u never hugged as a kid?" like- damn was it that obvious? [/sarc] they make me question just how much i never realised was bad when i was a kid, and it confuses the fuck out of me. just like telling my partner something funny that happened to me as a kid and it giving me the same reaction, it always stumps me. Like fym its not funny my brother shot me in the head twice [accidentally] with a bb gun? or its not funny i used to be trapped in a chest as a kid by my siblings? thats just what its like as one of the youngers.

I have 17 siblings, all chopped up. heres a quick "tree" to understand it, glide past if u want obvs

but being one of the higher in the tree and basically being one of the middle-youngests you get more ignored. my family is litterally so big we just get bought off bc literally NOONE can give all of us even and "acceptable" amounts of attention and no one even wants too. i have a whole bunch of cousins, and chosen family as well so its just like trying to stuff a 8 tiered cake into your mouth all at once, its impossible and no one wants too. we are just built to be socially inept, and i find that shit HILARIOUS. But these bots [& my partner] make me do double takes on my childhood & its WEIRD. why is it now that people notice just how fucky wucky i was as a kid? Its like im a glass child or someting [i dont gen believe i am, but i show some surface signs & relate sometimes. dunno tho, i dont know enough to gen say anything abt who i am nor do i wanna] i got next to no attention as a kid, love it, live in it, still dont, prefer it this way. I find it gross to be given hugs, kisses, or affection im literally known to be a "dont touch me kid" quote from my mother. I prefer to be the one giving the affectionate touches and even then its only things that require for you to touch my hands or arms. Like patting your head, your shoulder or like leaning on your shoulder like older siblings do in movies. I dislike hugs, or other people touching me tho i can never say no to a headpat. I hate people paying attention to me bc i find it weird like, why pay attention to me *now* stop changing shit up on me? and ik it all has to do with different friend groups, a change of how my family has decided to act, and overall different mental states but why does shit have to change? yucky yucky affection >:(

[finalpam8000]

I just finished The Magnus Archives for the first time last week! And thought it might be fun to compile the episodes that scared me the most and see which ones spooked the rest of the fandom as well!

[sleepyfemme]

for a while now i've been dealing with feelings of things not feeling real. like the whole world doesn't feel real to me in the way it used to and i so easily get sucked into nostalgia for all the years of my life where the world felt real. i miss 2011 and i can never get it back and it feels like the world is actively ending now and it's so impossible for me to feel both present AND joyful in the same body, although at this point i would take just one

[microfeelings]

You know before I started reading Dungeon Meshi I thought people were calling Laios autistic because "haha, hes soo quirky with his hyperfixation on monsters, hes so silly <3" type of way that tumblr loves to do to characters. But no, I get it now

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[mrtequilasunset]

I actually got the opposite impression. I thought Kim would be a very picky eater but would not admit that to save his life. Like the kinda guy who’ll eat anything if he has to but there’s very little he actually enjoys and so he grew up thinking that food sucks and rarely tastes good cause children tend not to have the autonomy to eat things they actually like or even figure out what they like unless they have incredibly patient and understanding caregivers

Okay but I actually love this interpretation too your brain is so massive and meaty

[diaryofamadsunwukongfan]

POV: The writers made you the perfect racist character on accident

[chirpsythismorning]

Ted Sarandos tries so hard to be like-able and relatable more than any other studio executive I've ever seen.

Like, look at this dude?

Don't you just want to punch him in the face?

And it gets worse...

He might look friendly and charismatic amongst these familiar faces, but at the end of the day, Ted is just another studio executive who is willing to cut costs wherever he can, in what he sees as loose ends capable of saving Netflix millions, but actually does in fact result in devastating repercussions for real people.

And yet still, I question his plan for all of this, as Ted is behind the company that has changed the way entertainment is consumed in the first place, with their company flourishing as a direct result of the 07-08 writer's strike. At first it was slow, but then it was full speed ahead, with Netflix starting a trend of streaming that upended the entire entertainment industry, essentially forcing everyone to follow suit. This has then brought us to a point where the conditions and compensation for workers do not at all match what is expected of them, because it is all based on an expired business model that no longer applies.

And yet, Ted has chosen the route as a CEO to create this friendly mask of familiarity amongst his talent and in the business as a whole, in a way that makes you want to trust him.

When new productions are coming out, he's in attendance making small talk and gushing in interviews about how important it is to tell all these stories, making it clear he's trying to convey that morality and this idea of doing the right thing, is important to him presumably.

But how can he call himself 'a union man', from 'a union family' and push this moral agenda, if he's going to continue to play one of the biggest roles in this strike, with the ability to solve it swiftly by just meeting the guilds demands, all the while tearing down that moral image entirely in the process by refusing to do so?

Because the thing is, this image of morality is him using human emotions that he knows make people fall in love with movies and TV in the first place. He knows that a lot of the support comes from people who give a fuck about human lives and people being treated fairly, especially now in 2023.

So, why in the hell would he expect the people he is presenting this morality to, as a cornerstone of their mission (manipulation tactic to distract from the true goal: exponential growth of profits...), to just sit by and be okay with the writers and actors and anyone and everyone on these movies/shows sets, to feel like they are being taken advantage of and abused because of his working conditions???

In the scenario Ted wins and the writers lose, Ted STILL loses, because this facade is now overshadowed by resentful workforce and an audience that is going to have a hard time getting behind trusting this company long term, eventually leading to their downfall.

You think people want to watch a show where we know the working conditions were awful, with them being on the cusp of changing that, only to be fucked over and have to go right back to those conditions?

The strike is a double edged sword at this point, but there's no denying these executives (esp charismatic Ted) would be much better off taking the -0.3 annual costs and calling it a day.

I guess it doesn't really matter though, because to Ted and all these other executives, the bottom line for investors will always be short term growth. They care about right now, not the future. If they can keep up the act that everything is going swell and convince their investors (and competitors) that profits went up this quarter and are projected to continue going up in the next one, they're doing their job. Even if that means burning to a crisp later on, so be it. It'll most likely be someone else's problem by then anyways...

Regardless, I look forward to seeing Ted succumbing to his inevitable fate of meeting the guilds demands, all while he himself has spent years building up and fostering this friendly image, encouraging this idea that morality is important to the end goal. Who would have thought Ted?? That your facade would contribute to backfiring in a strike for workers rights, supported heavily by the very public your company has spent the last decade providing content to, that supports that very same message?

[echojedis]

I relate to your kissing review. Had my very first boyfriend at 28. I lasted 3-ish months. He was a lovely person, but I liked nothing that a romantic relationship entailed. Didn't really care for physical contact, intimate physical contact was so OFF the table. I tried to feel any sort of romantic interest - never happened before that point, not with anyone, and it wasn't happening then. Kissing was ... not a pleasant sensation. I tried to learn to like it - didn't work. Kissing is not for me. I freaking love seeing/reading/imagining my fave characters doing all these things, but I myself don't wanna be on the receiving end. Fast forward a few months after I broke up with said person. Lightbulb moment. "Damn, I might be aro/ace." 😅

This is so real!! I love imagining scenarios between fictional characters but I just feel…absolutely nothing with those kind of interactions in real life and I can’t force it. And that’s okay, as much as society pushes the expectation to have romantic relationships they’re not for everyone! I’m very very introverted, I like my space and independence and I’m not willing to change my lifestyle to accommodate another person, I’m not made for relationships and I’m fine with that

[whiskeydickclaws]

hey just a fucking reminder?

you know how it's agreed upon that doing shit like photoshopping or deepfaking a woman's face into porn is fucking awful and sexual harrassment if not outright sexual abuse? Especially if you then share it and use it to humiliate them?

Yeah, just because the content creator is a guy, that doesn't make it any fucking different.

And **tagging** them in it is even more fucking disgusting.

I honestly don't care if you "ship" people, don't fucking make porn of real life people, attach it to their real life name, and then spread it over public sites where they're active.

It's not fucking okay.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

Just finished the show a few days ago, so that's why I'm only just posting this now.

[throughalleternity]

If Lucy goes on T do you think Maggie and Alex would accept all of the changes that would come with it, or only certain aspects of it? Like for example they would be ok with their voice deepening but not with facial hair/musky body odour/bottom growth etc., or vice versa? And would one of them be more accepting of certain things than the other? And which changes would Lucy look most forward to?

I don’t think they have issues with Lucy’s changes on T, and they certainly accept all of them (especially because what does not accepting them even look like? Alex and Maggie won’t try to control Leon’s decisions—those are 100% his to make, especially when it comes to his body. They could break up or change the nature of their relationships if he goes on T, but I don’t headcanon that).

(An aside: sex is a related topic but any boundaries around that are about gender and sexuality, not physical changes on T.)

There are things that they found attractive in Lucy that change with T, like her voice. But for them, they find that the new change is also attractive (and some things that they don't expect to find attractive end up being so on Lucy/Leon bc it's her/him), or that even if a certain change isn’t particularly attractive, there are other changes that are. Leon being more comfortable/happy and them getting to be a part of that is what’s most important to them, and their love doesn’t go away. (Also, some changes revert or somewhat revert for a Leon that goes off of T eventually.) Their attraction is more about who Lucy/Leon is as a person.

I think with Maggie’s experience dating within the queer community and dating aliens, it's easier for her to adapt and feel confident that she'll stay attracted to Lucy. Alex is a little more worried about how she'll feel, but she reads about the experiences of other people in relationships with genderfluid people and talks about it with Lucy and Maggie. And kinda like I alluded to in the previous ask, she realizes that an amazing part of loving people is loving and supporting them while they change and grow into themselves, which makes this seem less scary. And they've all been uncertain about relationship things at some point—entering a polyamorous relationship and not knowing how they'd handle dating and their feelings was kinda scary! But they talked about things and were intentional with their actions and things ended up fine for them. And tbh as far as their specific feelings about specific changes on T, I don't really have many headcanons? It's mostly just the broad thoughts I outlined above, since I'm flexible with headcanons.

Voice is a big change Leon looks forward to. I know fat redistribution is often a big one, but it's actually height and build that bother Leon more, which doesn't change much for him on T. I don't think Leon necessarily stays on T long enough to develop a lot of facial or body hair, but he likes what he gets, and likes the ritual of shaving.

[kideternity]

Okay sorry if this is an insane request. But does anyone have any actual sources for if the cosplayer who served as the inspiration for Betsumon ever consented to her likeliness being used for the creation process. I found one blogpost which CLAIMS she was fine with it but there was no source for it attached I saw and I cant seem to find anything on my own just by looking it up

[rayvern-sheep]

Whenever i see “pro-ship” or “anti” i have this funny thing where i instinctively unfollow… its weird…

I could have followed you for years but as soon as you share some post abt how “kids these days don’t like all my dark sexual fantasies, they must be fascists” I’m gone. I’ve disappeared to another fucking dimension to escape the black hole in your skull where your brain was supposed to be.

[oflgtfol]

man like on one hand yeah destigmatize acne and all that but on the other hand i went on accutane not because i cared about how it affected my looks but because living with that kind of acne is genuinely so hellish like i cant tell you how it affects your everyday life to not be able to move your face without it being in pain, without it opening a wound. without being able to sleep comfortably at night otherwise you'll be in pain or open a wound. waking up in the morning to find blood smeared all over your pillow. always needing to carry a tissue in your pocket to quickly dab at any blood that started dripping randomly throughout the day. the humiliation of literally just sitting in the same room as somebody and then you have blood dripping down your face randomly and they notice before you. and during covid, having to worry about getting visible streaks of blood on your mask, and needing to carry extra masks with you in case you did get blood somewhere that others could see. i would get blood on the earloops every single time i wore a mask but luckily nobody else could see that, but if i got blood on the actual mask itself then i needed to throw it away

like i cannot stress to you how bad this was affecting my daily life. i felt so gross and disgusting because it WAS gross and disgusting, it was genuinely unsanitary to constantly have open wounds all over the place, i felt so gross being in public for any extended period of time, and it was always a constant worry in the back of my mind about the whole blood thing. and nevermind not being able to sleep comfortably

like yes accutane is fucking me over with the dry skin and intense body and joint aches but i hate looking things up online and seeing people argue that the only reason anyone goes on medication for acne is for beauty culture reasons. maybe some people do, sure, but it's so largely reductive and fucking annoying to people like me who dont fucking care about that and are finally finding relief from clear skin

[apple-os]

wondering if i can make a strict-ruled fanfic site cause im sick of finding proship shit everywhere

anybody know how tf id do that or find someone to code it fer me