#i find affection gross
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Talking to character ai bots just makes me realise how damn socially inept i am.
this one gets a bit sad, pity me loozer type shit.
I was talkin to keegan, cause im a cod boy born & raised. And he kept making sarcastic jabs at me, now the bot didnt go "his tone of voice was sarcastic" or "he gave you a playful look" or "his tone was playful" no indicator he was being sarcastic and he starts INSULTING ME because i couldnt tell, then i go and be like "know what? fuck you *truama dumps on him*" so now i made keegan sad, but its like- holy fuck. these bots make me question myself, and not in a good way its like "jesus, just how bad was it as a kid?"
Its been more then just that bot too, almost every bot for some reason circles back to "why are you so bad at being social?" then their all like "you didnt deserve that !!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDDDDDD:" even to the tinest things, like i told this man that ive always basically been unmonitered. No one really actually noticed where i was, nor did they care. i could be outside, doing weird ass shit like throwing around my mini sword i had, climbing trees, breaking into the nearby highschools baseball field, disappearing round the block, heading to my school after hours to play at the park and no one really noticed. i never told people where i was going, and ive basically just always been like ignored, if i walk into a room with my friends they dont notice until im next to them and if they do then im still barely apart of any convo and never been included in anything. and their all like "thats so sad!" its like dude who cares geniuenly? and i told keegan how i find being touched in any way unless its violent gross and hes like "were u never hugged as a kid?" like- damn was it that obvious? [/sarc] they make me question just how much i never realised was bad when i was a kid, and it confuses the fuck out of me. just like telling my partner something funny that happened to me as a kid and it giving me the same reaction, it always stumps me. Like fym its not funny my brother shot me in the head twice [accidentally] with a bb gun? or its not funny i used to be trapped in a chest as a kid by my siblings? thats just what its like as one of the youngers.
I have 17 siblings, all chopped up. heres a quick "tree" to understand it, glide past if u want obvs
but being one of the higher in the tree and basically being one of the middle-youngests you get more ignored. my family is litterally so big we just get bought off bc literally NOONE can give all of us even and "acceptable" amounts of attention and no one even wants too. i have a whole bunch of cousins, and chosen family as well so its just like trying to stuff a 8 tiered cake into your mouth all at once, its impossible and no one wants too. we are just built to be socially inept, and i find that shit HILARIOUS. But these bots [& my partner] make me do double takes on my childhood & its WEIRD. why is it now that people notice just how fucky wucky i was as a kid? Its like im a glass child or someting [i dont gen believe i am, but i show some surface signs & relate sometimes. dunno tho, i dont know enough to gen say anything abt who i am nor do i wanna] i got next to no attention as a kid, love it, live in it, still dont, prefer it this way. I find it gross to be given hugs, kisses, or affection im literally known to be a "dont touch me kid" quote from my mother. I prefer to be the one giving the affectionate touches and even then its only things that require for you to touch my hands or arms. Like patting your head, your shoulder or like leaning on your shoulder like older siblings do in movies. I dislike hugs, or other people touching me tho i can never say no to a headpat. I hate people paying attention to me bc i find it weird like, why pay attention to me *now* stop changing shit up on me? and ik it all has to do with different friend groups, a change of how my family has decided to act, and overall different mental states but why does shit have to change? yucky yucky affection >:(
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I just finished The Magnus Archives for the first time last week! And thought it might be fun to compile the episodes that scared me the most and see which ones spooked the rest of the fandom as well!
#the magnus archives#tma#Guess which entity I dislike most#Spoiler alert itās the one thatās nearly half the list#I had to replace a couple because I realized 6 of the 10 options were corruption and that wasnāt that fun a poll#Suprisingly though the Corruption isnāt reaponsible for the scariest episode in my mind#for me itās 100% The Bone Turnerās Tale that story terrifies me so much.#And itās really the only flesh episode to do that#Hell by the time of the Garden I kinda liked Jared. But for the fear that episode awakened in me he will always be known as The Bonebitch#Also I had to try really hard to find a scary episode of S5#None of the other ones like actually affected me. Grossed me out perhaps but none of them really got meā¦ frightened like S1 did.#It still took me ages to finish because I donāt like stories ending butā¦ suprisingly itās probably the breeziest season for me?#poll
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for a while now i've been dealing with feelings of things not feeling real. like the whole world doesn't feel real to me in the way it used to and i so easily get sucked into nostalgia for all the years of my life where the world felt real. i miss 2011 and i can never get it back and it feels like the world is actively ending now and it's so impossible for me to feel both present AND joyful in the same body, although at this point i would take just one
#i have been reluctant to talk about this with anyone other than my partner#because i know that all of these feelings trace back to palestine and i never ever ever want to be like#'well here's how that's affecting ME let's talk about that instead' for even a second#but it is true that my entire worldview has been shattered and it feels gross to feel happy literally at all and it feels like the world#is ending in a very real way at this point#and i've been feeling like this for almost a year and if i'm to continue living i do need to find a way through it#oh this has also been compounded MASSIVELY by all of the intense heat/droughts this summer#hard not to feel like you're in end times when it's 96 degrees every single day#personal
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You know before I started reading Dungeon Meshi I thought people were calling Laios autistic because "haha, hes soo quirky with his hyperfixation on monsters, hes so silly <3" type of way that tumblr loves to do to characters. But no, I get it now
#tumblr so often forgets that autism is a thing that affects how you interact with the world and society#so i would always roll my eyes when i saw a post about laios talking about a monster with the caption 'hes so autistic lmao'#but goddamn#that fight with shuro? it was framed as comedic but I was crying the whole time#i realize this post can attract people with no reading comprehension but I needed to say it#for me its really important laios is the 'cant properly integrate into society and doesnt understand social norms' autistic#than 'hyperfixation on a weird theme nobody cares or finds gross autistic'
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went 'šļæ½ļæ½ļ潚ļø oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this š®āšØ (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikesš¬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead š#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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cool. the proposed changes to anti-discrimination laws have dropped the proposal to get rid of the exemption that private/religious schools can fire/expel lgbt+ teachers and students. how are we still doing thissss
#personal#auspol#this is something that directly affected me nearly a DECADE ago can we please do something about it??????? no???????????????#i feel like it's weird that this news report focused more on teachers being fired than students being expelled#because obviously the former is bad and gross etc. but like. i feel like they'd get a more sympathetic case for students surely?#they can argue that teachers can just find a new job (again that's bad. not saying it's not) but it's a much harder argument for students#like sorry if i HAD been expelled when i went through all that it would have been year 12 and would have fucked up my whole life#ngl i kinda hoped it would happen because i was SO ready to bring so much media attention to it lmao. i would have taken them down with me#but no i just had to deal with threats. not like that's upsetting or anything
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I actually got the opposite impression. I thought Kim would be a very picky eater but would not admit that to save his life. Like the kinda guy whoāll eat anything if he has to but thereās very little he actually enjoys and so he grew up thinking that food sucks and rarely tastes good cause children tend not to have the autonomy to eat things they actually like or even figure out what they like unless they have incredibly patient and understanding caregivers
Okay but I actually love this interpretation too your brain is so massive and meaty
#fuckin makes me think if Harry finds out that Kim thinks food is gross most of the time he'd probably#make it his goal to find more things for Kim to like#it becomes a mind project AND a full task with (this may take a while) on the side but he cares so much#and kim is a bit resistant to it (bc hes picky and nonsafe foods are kinda scary) but harry is so patient and enthusiastic about it#and and sighs listen i just want them to make eachother happy#they find out he really likes pancakes and also cannot stand the texture of most things similar to cream of wheat or pudding#i have a cousin who was adopted from a really terrible orphanage and he refuses to eat oatmeal to this day because its all they ever fed hi#hes given me a lot of inspo for kims eating habits in regards to how being an orphan affected him tbh#he'll eat anything except that
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POV: The writers made you the perfect racist character on accident
#rwde#like#move out the way Cardin cuz Coco has everything you don't!#has a real personality; check#the only characters aware of her racism are the ones personally affected; check#has a subtle reference to a real world racist organization; check#she's still completely gross even when you remove the racism; check#that is what racism looks like#microaggressions disguised as compliments#extreme and random hatred towards poc you come across#every bad thing said poc does is their entire personality#every good thing they do either dosen't exist or is a fluke#im not even mad I find it interesting#the writers ability to do that even on accident should be studied or something#coco adel#coco adel bashing
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#i always forget how bad my seasonal affective is until its dark and cold and wet and gross and miserable outside all of the time always#and it's never sunny and it's windy as fuck and walking the dogs makes me wanna kms and my whole body hurts so fucking bad#and im exhausted and pissed off and unbearably sad and i keep losing track of time#and literally nothing feels doable. i don't understand how people get anything done this time of year. like how is it not hard for you?#i should go find my sad lamp#having a wretched one! ššš
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Ted Sarandos tries so hard to be like-able and relatable more than any other studio executive I've ever seen.
Like, look at this dude?
Don't you just want to punch him in the face?
And it gets worse...
He might look friendly and charismatic amongst these familiar faces, but at the end of the day, Ted is just another studio executive who is willing to cut costs wherever he can, in what he sees as loose ends capable of saving Netflix millions, but actually does in fact result in devastating repercussions for real people.
And yet still, I question his plan for all of this, as Ted is behind the company that has changed the way entertainment is consumed in the first place, with their company flourishing as a direct result of the 07-08 writer's strike. At first it was slow, but then it was full speed ahead, with Netflix starting a trend of streaming that upended the entire entertainment industry, essentially forcing everyone to follow suit. This has then brought us to a point where the conditions and compensation for workers do not at all match what is expected of them, because it is all based on an expired business model that no longer applies.
And yet, Ted has chosen the route as a CEO to create this friendly mask of familiarity amongst his talent and in the business as a whole, in a way that makes you want to trust him.
When new productions are coming out, he's in attendance making small talk and gushing in interviews about how important it is to tell all these stories, making it clear he's trying to convey that morality and this idea of doing the right thing, is important to him presumably.
But how can he call himself 'a union man', from 'a union family' and push this moral agenda, if he's going to continue to play one of the biggest roles in this strike, with the ability to solve it swiftly by just meeting the guilds demands, all the while tearing down that moral image entirely in the process by refusing to do so?
Because the thing is, this image of morality is him using human emotions that he knows make people fall in love with movies and TV in the first place. He knows that a lot of the support comes from people who give a fuck about human lives and people being treated fairly, especially now in 2023.
So, why in the hell would he expect the people he is presenting this morality to, as a cornerstone of their mission (manipulation tactic to distract from the true goal: exponential growth of profits...), to just sit by and be okay with the writers and actors and anyone and everyone on these movies/shows sets, to feel like they are being taken advantage of and abused because of his working conditions???
In the scenario Ted wins and the writers lose, Ted STILL loses, because this facade is now overshadowed by resentful workforce and an audience that is going to have a hard time getting behind trusting this company long term, eventually leading to their downfall.
You think people want to watch a show where we know the working conditions were awful, with them being on the cusp of changing that, only to be fucked over and have to go right back to those conditions?
The strike is a double edged sword at this point, but there's no denying these executives (esp charismatic Ted) would be much better off taking the -0.3 annual costs and calling it a day.
I guess it doesn't really matter though, because to Ted and all these other executives, the bottom line for investors will always be short term growth. They care about right now, not the future. If they can keep up the act that everything is going swell and convince their investors (and competitors) that profits went up this quarter and are projected to continue going up in the next one, they're doing their job. Even if that means burning to a crisp later on, so be it. It'll most likely be someone else's problem by then anyways...
Regardless, I look forward to seeing Ted succumbing to his inevitable fate of meeting the guilds demands, all while he himself has spent years building up and fostering this friendly image, encouraging this idea that morality is important to the end goal. Who would have thought Ted?? That your facade would contribute to backfiring in a strike for workers rights, supported heavily by the very public your company has spent the last decade providing content to, that supports that very same message?
#byler#netflix#stranger things#ted sarandos#jo rambles#oh and bob iger!... have you ever heard of a bugs life? or newsies??#congrats. you played yourself#btw i could not find that picture of noah with ted and nina dobrev on his instagram...#though he posted it in april of this year...#i guess he deleted it...#see Ted!?#your talent is turning on you#talent photo ops REVOKED from ted until further notice#in all seriousness#what really grosses me out is the very high likelihood this strike doesn't affect netflix at all the way it does major broadcasters#broadcasters are holding on for dear life all while Netflix and the other giants like Disney and Warner Bros. are totally fine for now#streamers benefit from a 6 month strike in contrast to broadcasters that are running on borrowed time#streaming is what literally led to the publics support for broadcast television to go down hill#you know... the system that allowed people to get residuals#so yeah i think they're ok with holding out until October#and leading up closer to that is when we're actually going to see the studios start making realistic negotiations#live tv has a very high likelihood of being dead after this is all said and done...#2007 all over again#but for real this time.#and then watch!#netflix is gonna try to revert back to a live tv system with ads#going back to a system they tore down#but have no intention of playing by that systems rules to ensure their workforce is protected in ways they've fought for decades before#fucking despicable#everyone has to suffer because these guys benefit from holding out a 6 month strike if it means coming out on top once and for all
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I relate to your kissing review. Had my very first boyfriend at 28. I lasted 3-ish months. He was a lovely person, but I liked nothing that a romantic relationship entailed. Didn't really care for physical contact, intimate physical contact was so OFF the table. I tried to feel any sort of romantic interest - never happened before that point, not with anyone, and it wasn't happening then. Kissing was ... not a pleasant sensation. I tried to learn to like it - didn't work. Kissing is not for me. I freaking love seeing/reading/imagining my fave characters doing all these things, but I myself don't wanna be on the receiving end. Fast forward a few months after I broke up with said person. Lightbulb moment. "Damn, I might be aro/ace." š
This is so real!! I love imagining scenarios between fictional characters but I just feelā¦absolutely nothing with those kind of interactions in real life and I canāt force it. And thatās okay, as much as society pushes the expectation to have romantic relationships theyāre not for everyone! Iām very very introverted, I like my space and independence and Iām not willing to change my lifestyle to accommodate another person, Iām not made for relationships and Iām fine with that
#physical contact in a romantic sense is just weird and uncomfortable and gross to me#casually hugging my friends? sure. romantic physical touch? no thank you#itās not fair on the other person either if youāre not into it and they want something you canāt give#pretty sure every ācrushā Iāve had has just been deep platonic affection#oh youāre supposed to want to likeā¦kiss them and stuff. I just want to hang out and talk about our interests#i also never realised that being physically attracted to someone is supposed to be a distinct feeling? I just find people nice to look at#like how youād find a pretty landscape or a painting nice to look at
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hey just a fucking reminder?
you know how it's agreed upon that doing shit like photoshopping or deepfaking a woman's face into porn is fucking awful and sexual harrassment if not outright sexual abuse? Especially if you then share it and use it to humiliate them?
Yeah, just because the content creator is a guy, that doesn't make it any fucking different.
And **tagging** them in it is even more fucking disgusting.
I honestly don't care if you "ship" people, don't fucking make porn of real life people, attach it to their real life name, and then spread it over public sites where they're active.
It's not fucking okay.
#don't come in my fucking inbox to defend rpf to me#ever#it's fucking gross#these aren't characters these are real fucking people#and you are producing content that can affect their wellbeing in real fucking life#sincerely someone who had to tell someone off for writing a ship fic/art about me and another discord mod and dm it to me directly.#i can't imagine being a famous actor and seeing all these people defending women and then having the exact same shit done to them#and knowing that no matter how many times you say you're not okay with it#it wont matter#āi thought you'd find it funnyā#no the fuck I did not.#rpf
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Just finished the show a few days ago, so that's why I'm only just posting this now.
#also yes PB is problimatic but so are a lot of the other characters & i don't care#lady reinacorn would probably be higher in her category if i understood what she was saying but unfortunately i don't#tier list#adventure time#adventure time tier list#magic man is where he is because he became normal man otherwise he'd be in the last category#cinnamon bun is only where he is due to his character growth in the flame kingdom before that he would have been in the meh category#lsp is where she is coz i actually find her funny#hope tier 3 lemongrab is meant to be the 3rd version because I like him the best out of all the lemongrabs#sweet pea wasn't on there but i would probably put him before or after fern#root beer guy is only where he is because I like what they did with him when he got resurrected#speaking of which cherry sods should be on here to & if she was I'd probably place her before him#as her reaction to his death & resurrection was super interesting#just realised that starchy isn't on here either i think I'd place him before mr pig#on reflection I'd put the cosmic owl in the 3rd category after prismo#i haven't watched distant lands or fiona & cake yet so please no spoilers#tiffany is where he is because i find him funny even though he is always hating on my boy finn#upon reflection I actually find amo quite interesting (still annoying though)#with his desperate need to be loved without the ability to give it in return#& how no amount of affection would probably ever have been enough#like talk about depressing#on second thought i'd actually put Grob/Gob/Glob Grod in the cool powers but lack of personality category#ash actually belongs in the worst category coz how he gonna do my girl marcy like that#& Jake's alien dad should actually be in the crazy threat category#coz he straight up travels to different dimensions to make kids so he can drain them of their powers & then leave them to die#& wanted to do the same to his grandkids like that's some next level evil#recardio should really have is own category as while he is kind of threat (he did kidnap finn & jake & beat up lady that one time)#his just not scary like people in the crazy threat category are (more just creepy/weird/gross & annoying)
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Whenever i see āpro-shipā or āantiā i have this funny thing where i instinctively unfollowā¦ its weirdā¦
I could have followed you for years but as soon as you share some post abt how ākids these days donāt like all my dark sexual fantasies, they must be fascistsā Iām gone. Iāve disappeared to another fucking dimension to escape the black hole in your skull where your brain was supposed to be.
#bro pleaseā¦ everyone thinks those things mean different things#its gotten to a point where pro-ship can mean āfiction and reality are completely seperate entities and do not affect each other therefore-#i can draw as much children having sex as i want and youre all puritanical baby fascists for not liking me doing thisā#or it can just mean āi think hannigram is okay to ship plz dont harrass meā#which is it????#if i have to see the word āpuriteenā one more fucking time im gonna throw myself into a volcano#shut up ray#there a kinks that im not into that idc abt#just a āyou do youā kinda thing#there are kinks that i find gross but do not have a moral issue w/#then there is literal child pornā¦ my guyā¦ i didnt know it was weird to find that shit morally reprehensible..?#no i dont believe those ppl just be harrassed or killed jfc.. but wtf are they posting that shit for???#delete later#if i hit 30 and start whining abt teens not being into the same sex things as me and finding it gross#just shoot me. put me down. its over#teens being weirded put abt adult sex stuff is normal. just leave them alone to grow up instead of calling them names lmao
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wondering if i can make a strict-ruled fanfic site cause im sick of finding proship shit everywhere
anybody know how tf id do that or find someone to code it fer me
#like ao3 is cool and all but holy shit there's so much stuff that's messed up on there#i dont care if u think fiction doesnt affect reality because i personally find everything thats proship gross#so if any proshits see this do not fucking interact ok#i do not care abt ur opinion and u dont care abt mine so#god. i remember the last time i tried to convert a proshipper#it was actually fairly recently since i found out one of my bffsies for years was one#we r no longer friends nor in contact#its unfortunate but also my mental health could not handle being friends with one of those weirdos#weirdos isnt a strong enough word#but u get it right#tw proship mention#sorry for the consistent talk abt proshitters lately folks#this stuff has been gnawing at my mind in the worst ways every time i stumble upon it#apollo woofles
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today's frog dump: homosexuality in amphibians, zoruru jumpscare, gamer sumomo, and when they least expect it, taruru
#sgt frog#keroro gunso#kissies awaaa!! aough!!#rip bdk zeroro anon#sumomo is a gamer in the manga. bring her back. sumomo twitch streamer when#she collabs with vtuber kululu sometimes.#i was a little hesitant to post the kerotama half because oughhh not everyone sees this character the same way i do oh dear.#but the world needs to see keroro and giroro finding eachothers displays of affection mutually gross#because its funny.#anyway tamama is just posting on twitter and taruru is going WOAH HES SO COOL I CAN'T WAIT FOR ACTIVE MILITARY SERVICE!!!!!!!#tamama is a fucking twitter user im never getting over that#gem art
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