#i felt so nice earlier and then i um. The trigger

[connormoving]

man. does anyone ever think about it all

[mh073099]

“I’ll Find You” - Captain Rex x Reader Fic Part 3

TRIGGER WARNINGS - Sexual Harassment- a bit. Themes of Torture, Terrorism, Murder, our girl is a separatist spy okay she's not the good guy yet. Age Gap- 18/19 to a 24/25. Don't Worry not for long, I am a fan of age gaps.

Author Note- SOOOOOoooo It has been a really Long time since I posted anything for this and almost abandoned it but I reread it earlier and got some inspiration again, to anyone that cares reading this. Also, pay attention to the time stamps.. they will be important in the future.

Gif rights to creator

Part 3

Paris, France 05/21/2067 01:45

As we sat down in the café, I suddenly felt awkward. Here I was, sitting down with the first person in ages that really noticed me, regardless of if it was real or not. I felt naked. Laid bare under his gaze. 

“Relax, princess. I’m not going to bite.” He smiles at me. Never in my life has someone smiled at me this much. 

“Not even if I ask nicely?” I snark back, leaning forward onto the table with my hands. Rex just looks at me, smirk on his face, not taking the bate. 

“You know what’s scary?” I ask him. I’m unable to help myself.

“What?”

“Knowing that you could destroy everything I’ve ever known, and yet I think I’d let you.” What the fuck am I saying? And that thought must be showing on my face because he starts to speak again.

He regards me carefully. “Maybe that’s what you need,” comes out slow and soft.

“I don’t need saving.” I look him square in the eyes.

“I’m not taking about saving you. I’m taking about freeing you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feel we are dancing around the obvious.

“Hmmm. Tell me something about yourself. Something honest, real.” He asks while sipping his hot chocolate. He looks so normal, so calm and at peace. While we sit here and dance around elephants in the room. 

“Oh, well I don’t know. Um… I speak 6 languages.” I offer up. Kinda at a loss to answer, for Am I really that much of a person? I do what I’m told. I am the makeup of ash and ember that has been molded by pain, over and over again. My whole life is a lie. A secret. Something I cannot share, for the so called greater good. Honest? Something Real? Am I even real? These thoughts aren’t ones I should be having. Conversations like this lead down a dark road.

“Wow, that is impressive.” He really does look impressed by that fact. “What Languages? Even though that’s not what I meant by my question, obviously. But I have to ask.”

“Maybe I am Deflecting.”

“You are most definitely deflecting.” Then he looks at me expectantly.

“Well, English obviously,” earns me the low chuckle that I am growing to adore. “As well as French, Spanish, Geonosian, Huttese, and Kittat.”

His head snaps up from where he was drinking his coffee. “Kittat? That’s a dead language, used by- “

“Yes, The Old Empire. My mother is a historian. Translated a few things for the republic. Taught me as she was teaching herself.” The lie falls easy and quick from my mouth. The dead language isn’t as dead as everyone thinks. It’s what the separatists use to pass information along. An Illegal language has its benefits.

Which of course he brings up. “Mhhmm. And Isn’t it an illegal language?” He cocks his head; his eyes harden the slightest bit.

"Technically yes but Historians like my mother have permits and clearances for such things. Teaching me? Now that wasn’t necessarily legal but what kind of government prohibits a whole language? Its just words.”

“Dangerous words” he counters carefully.

“As if words in any other language can’t be dangerous?” I lean back. “It was William Douglas said ‘The most important aspect of freedom of speech is freedom to learn. All education is a continuous dialogue- questions and answers that pursue every problem on the horizon.’ Without the freedom to criticize, question and challenge the dominant narrative, societies cannot make progress.” I finish with a huff.

Rex leans back, with a smile on is lips, and something bright gleaming in his eyes. “You’re very passionate about this.”

“There is only passion.”

Rex pauses, licks his lips and smiles. “Of course, you’re 100% right about freedom of speech. But progress is slow. We must learn from the past. Not repeat it.”

“And isn’t that what’s happening?”

“I don’t think so. I work for a great senator, Her efforts and even the quiet efforts of her husband have shown that they actually care for their people. And truly want to make the world a better place. The right way.”

“What’s your job title exactly?” I bait him.

“What’s yours?” 

I sigh. He had me there. “Hmm.” The right way. Is there really such a thing as right and wrong? Or did it come down to Just you and them? Two sides of the same coin? I look down at my hands, unable to look him in the eye anymore. “Still feel like you’re following me.”

“Maybe it’s not you I am following.” His response makes me freeze, and then surprisingly relax. That is a loaded response…but maybe. Just maybe.

He reaches his hand down across the table, pinky touching mine and interrupting my thoughts.

I loop my pinky with his. Looking down at our entwined fingers. His pinky finger is calloused but warm. I hope he couldn’t tell how sweaty my hand was while being hooked on my pinky.

“Where do you see yourself five years from now?” I asked, still staring at our pinkies.

His inhale makes me look up, and I can’t make the expression on his face. “You don’t ask easy questions.”

“You’re one to talk.” I fire back.

We both dissolve into giggles. I just feel giddy, and his smile in intoxicating. For the first time, I feel clean. Like I don’t have to hide. 

“In five years? A promotion, with better pay and better hours. My schedule now is nowhere near stable, but a set work schedule would be nice. And hopefully, a relationship. I’m a little young to think about starting a family, but I want that someday, and in 5 years, I hope to have that person by my side.” He answers, taking hold of my whole hand as he finishes.

“Hmm. That sounds nice.” I say absent mindedly, imaging what a family would even feel like.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” He squeezes my hand in reassurance.

Dead. For a cause that I am not even sure I believe in.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Right now, my work keeps me busy, as well as in the moment. Success is seen in immediate results. Long term is not something I am looking at yet” I try to keep it vague.

“You haven’t thought about it?” He pushes.

But pushing starts to irritate me, and I snap back with, “I’m young, what’s there to worry about? Who cares for future.” I say in a huff. A dark look overtakes my face and I pull my hand away. Hands in my lap, looking at him in all his handsome goodness. Curse life for dangling him in my face. His eyes are filled with sympathy as if he could possibly understand what it was like to not know what happens tomorrow. To have your fate completely out of your own hands.

“Princess, you asked the question.” He pauses then leans a little more forward. He looks so open. “I don’t know what you’re caught up in. But I have friends. People that could help-“

“Woah let me stop you right there. I do not need saving. I am perfectly fine thank you very much. I don’t know what you think you know, But I can tell you, You are wrong. I have a well paying job that provides for me, I get to travel, I-“ I loose track of where I was going with this. How do you try and stand up for living a life you don’t want? “Rex,” I sigh. “I’m fine. You will just come to find that I tend to be pessimistic at times.” I offer up.

He just looks at me, taking in the sight of me. I wonder what he sees?

Then he reads my mind and goes, “When I look at you, I see a strong, beautiful ruthless young woman with her whole life ahead of her. But you have this look in your eye. You’re not happy. Not even close.”

“How do you know?” I shake my head.

“I recognize that look because I used to stare at it in the mirror every day. Until I found a way to stop living like that.” He offers. Rex cocks his head at me, looking concerned and sympathetic. I hate it. I can’t understand why he cares.

“Sounds easy.”

“Hardly.”

The silence seems comforting. I don’t feel as alone as I normally do.

“I’d gladly let you ruin me if you asked.” Left my mouth unbidden.

First, I see surprise flash across his face. Determination settles in its place.

He pulls out a card, and slides it across the table. I don’t look at it, just slip it in my pocket.

Rex goes to say something, But at that moment, the door to the 24-7 café we’re in opens.

When I connect with his eyes, all I feel is dread. The anger is rolling off him in waves. The card heavy in my pocket.

Rex must notice the color drain from my face because he turns slightly and catches sight of Maul.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper to Rex, as Maul approaches with long strides. He arrives at our little table in just a few steps.

“Let’s go.” Is not question. “I’ve been requested to make sure you arrive home safe. Your mother was worried.” His deep voice oozes with thinly veiled venom and misplaced passiveness.

“Is everything all right?” I hear, Rex’s tone firm, calm and dangerous. I look over at him, and the look he is shooting at Maul rocks me off balance. He looks positively murderous. Never could I image his face set in stone like this.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Maul sneers, slowly moving his gaze to Rex. The heat in their stare was almost Nuclear. As if at any moment, they would collide and explode on each other, leaving devastation in their wake.

"Everything is fine John,” I quickly say making sure not to give his real name out, hand reaching out to his and I go to stand up.

His gaze shifts to me and his eyes soften. “It was nice talking to you princess. Stay Safe out there.”

I softly smile and look to Maul. His eyes burn me, promising trouble that he will enjoy, and that I certainly will not. “Well? Let’s go then.” I bark out bitterly.

We turn and leave.

It took everything in me not to look back.

 Paris, France 05/21/2067 02:15

The whole drive was silent on the way back to the manor, but the smugness was rolling off Maul in waves. I didn’t know what lied ahead of me. But I did know one thing. Rex knew I was trouble. This could go one of two ways. I could give rex up, milk him for what he knows and dispose of him. The thought twisted painfully in my chest, and it became hard to breath. Or I could toss Rex a bone. Slowly bring down the cause. I’d be betraying everything I had known. But what was a cause that killed and stole for their own gains? An Ideal that the Republic is the oppressor while simultaneously oppressing not only those they deem an enemy to the cause, but to their very supporters as well. That idea made the weight on my heart ease a bit.

Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?

When we arrived at the manor, I was hesitant. The place held a blanket of doom that did little to keep the cold out. Maul stalked forwards while I meekly followed behind. I was scared. Maul was excited.

We entered the haunted manor and made our way to the main parlor. In the room stood the Count, my Mother, and Him. The Chancellor of the separatist movement. Everything about him was absolutely Sidious. My mother’s face was blank. Just an empty shell with her face. The Count looked bored. Maul looked like a dog, drooling for a bone.

“Hello, my darling girl.” His voice was like poison. It took everything in me not to flinch. “I have a job for you.”

Here. We. Go.

  Paris, France 05/21/2067 04:00

I lied there, in my own blood and vomit. Left alone to pick myself up.

The Humiliation of this night will forever be burned into my spine. All for what?

To test my strength, He said. To assure everyone but more importantly to assure myself, that I have the will to continue this path. To kill doubt that lingers within myself and within our circle about my abilities. After all, I was just a young girl. They needed proof of my loyalty. My undying loyalty. To remind myself that Peace is a lie. To become what I pretend to be, he said. To prove I am enough for this job, that I will see it through. No matter the pain, the costs.

“Tell me, do you have anything to say for yourself? To prove yourself worthy?” In all his Sidious might, he stood over me. Brand still glowing, the smell of burning flesh overtaken my senses. I looked over at my mother. She looked at me as if I was nothing. I didn’t recognize her anymore. 

Turn back to him, Looking him in the eye. “There is no peace, only passion.”

 His smile is wicked, and he continues.

  Paris, France 05/24/2067 13:47

I lay in bed, just staring at the wall. Ace by my side. I have to keep him from trying to lick my wounds.

I need to get up. I need a plan out of this. This…this isn’t me, right?

“Peace is a lie, there is only passion.”

I sit up, pushing myself through the pain.

“Through Passion, I gain Strength.”

Standing up was hard. My legs gave out, and I had to learn heavily on the bed until I could get my feet underneath me.

“Through Strength, I gain Power.”

I slowly make my way over the mirror.

“Through Power, I gain Victory”

The Woman looking back at me is unrecognizable.

“Through Victory, My chains are broken.”

A lie. All I see are chains.

“Through Victory, My chains are broken.” I repeat.

Tears cloud my vision, and I am filled with rage.

“Through Victory, My chains are broken.”  I whisper, before I slam My fist into the full-length mirror.

My knees hit the floor, digging into glass. I relish the pain.

“I am set Free.”

I reach for the Card.

Paris, France 05/24/2067 13:59

He picks up after the first ring. “Hello?” His voice deep, and rumbles through me. I take a deep breath.

“Did you know?” I ask, voice hoarse and sore, but full of force. No room for argument. 

“Princess, is that you?” I ignore the butterflies in my stomach at the nickname.

“Rex. Did you know when we first met? Back in D.C.?” I ask again. There’s no way he didn’t know now. Not with the way our late-night conversation went.

He sighs. “No. I didn’t know back then.” 

“You Promise?”

“I promise.”

“When did you find out?” My voice breaks.

His voice is soft when he replies, “I didn’t find out until after seeing you that afternoon at the cafe. I went back to the embassy after that and... well.”

I took a deep breath. He was honest with no hesitation. I don’t know how I knew that, but I did. I believed it deep in my bones. 

“You let me walk away.” My vision starts to get blurry.

“I knew you’d make the right choice in the end. I believe in you.”

“That doesn’t make any fucking sense,” I whisper.

“Princess, are you ok? The other night you-

I choke out a laugh. “Yeah. I’m fine. Tell you’re bosses I’ll help. That’s what their expecting right?” 

I let out a sniffle. God, I’m really doing this.

“Look, Let’s talk about th-”

“No. No talking. One condition. You’re the person I talk to. No one else.”

A sigh. “I wish you would stop interrupting me.” His voice holds 1000s emotions, and I can’t place any of them. 

“Get used to it. Good-bye Rex. I’ll keep in touch.”

I hung up the phone. 

[michaelasworlds-blog]

Daddy’s Girl(A Hazbin OC Fanfic)

~~~~~~

Ch. 10: Her

~~~~~~

Word Count: 5.2K

🚨 TRIGGER WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT, DRUG ABUSE!🚨

“Bean.. Bean?” Donnie snapped in a barely conscious Bean’s face. She could barely keep her head up, she groaned.

“Did- did it work?” She slurred.

“I don’t know, but I held up my part; now hold up yours,”

Donnie went over to a medical table, picking up a large syringe filled with blue liquid.

“Now choose, higher electric levels or V-Rage?”

Bean looked between the choices, she lifted her finger to choose..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week earlier

“Hey baby I hope it’s not too early, I just wanted to thank you,” Bean listened to Valentino on the phone. “You’ve been so good these past few months, I wanted to reward you.”

Bean listened, her head throbbing, why was he shouting? “Um.. no problem, I was glad to help,” she still felt bad about the souls she hurt, even the ones she didn’t kill herself; they had been so scared of being next that they just went back to Val.

“Anyway, I’m having a little party and I want to entertain my guests, think you’d be interested in that?” His voice sounded seductive. She knew what he meant by “entertain”.

Bean sighed, “I don’t know Val, I’m not feeling well.”

“Then get better” He whined. “I need my Sugar here.. Don’t you want to make some extra cash?” Her eyes widened at the thought.

“How much cash would I be making?” She raised an eyebrow.

There was silence, “Uh…” Bean rolled her eyes waiting for an answer.

“How about I make up my mind when you make up yours, okay?”

“Fine but don’t take too long!”

“Okay Val,” She said “nicely” into the phone before ending the call.

Bean held her head feeling intense pain shoot through her head, “Ugh, I need somethin.” She made her way down the elevator to the lobby.

She could hardly remember what happened last night, it was a huge blurred headache. However, it all came rushing back once she saw who was standing in the kitchen. Eugenia.

Flashback

Bean was trying her best to keep herself up, everything turning upside down and then right side up and back to upside down. “Fuck,” She almost tripped, her vision was going in and out. She was not about to fall out in the hallway.

Voices were coming from the kitchen, Bean decided to be nosy to see what was happening, Gigi and Alastor were having a conversation. They also had Donnie’s mask.

“I do make her happy, I’M her mother!” She said loudly. “Ruby is a parasite that sticks to people because she can’t live with the reality that she can’t ACTUALLY be a mother.”

Had Bean heard correctly? She was her what?

“You’re my what?” Bean interrupted. As soon as she said that everything went dark.

End of Flashback

Bean stared at the woman, feeling her blood boiling. She turned around jumping, “Bean, you scared me,” she sighed with relief. She continued to stare, “Come sit, I made you breakfast and something for the hangover.”

Was she serious? Was she crazy? It was like last night didn’t happen to her! She always did this!

Not anymore.

“Okay,” Bean gave her a fake smile before sitting. Eugenia sits down across from her.

“How did you sleep?” She smiled. “You fell pretty hard last night so I brought you to your room, well Alastor did. I made sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit.”

Bean’s eye twitches, “How sweet of you,” she says through her teeth, still smiling.

“Oh shoot! I didn’t get your breakfast!” She gasped.

“It’s okay,” Bean pushed her chair out. “I’ll get it.” She stood up going over to the platter that Eugenia had left on the side of the room. She stares down at it, slipping the knife from the metal and gripping it in her palm. Eugenia comes up behind her and touches her shoulder, placing her other hand on the desk next to the platter.

“You always were a clumsy one,” she said

Bean furrows her brow and forces the blade through the back of Eugenia’s hand into the wooden desk.

“Oh Eugenia, did you think you could get away from me?” she turns and snaps the older woman’s arm behind her back. Eugenia, in shock, stares at her impaled hand in shock. “I didn’t have memory loss you dumb bitch.”

“Bean let me explain-” Eugenia was cut off by Bean yanking a fist full of her hair.

“No, let me explain” she growled. “I will rip you apart then wait for you to come back and do it all over again, I’m gonna rip your head off and play fucking soccer with it, I’m gonna-”

Bean’s phone rang, it’s Vox. She let go of her mother’s hair, “Hold on a minute,” she said before answering the phone. “Hello?” Bean walked away from Eugenia.

“Hey, um how are you?” Vox sounded uncomfortable.

“I’m ok.. did you need something Mr.Vaughn?” She put a hand on her hip.

Vox cleared his throat, “So Val is doing some party to celebrate something I don’t know; and he wants entertainment..apparently he talked to you?”

“Uh huh?”

“Are ya gonna do it?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“Why-?! what do you mean think-!” He went off on her before taking a breath.

Bean was taken aback, it was too early for all this. She didn’t know what to say or even how to respond, “Are you okay?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yes!” He cleared his throat, “Yes.” Vox’s voice was calmer.

“Do you not want me to do it?” Bean asked.

“I mean Val really wants you there, he won’t shut up about it,” the overlord chuckled.

“Okay..what do you want?” She honestly wanted to hear his answer. Did he care enough to tell her not to do it? “If you don’t want me to do it then I won’t.”

“What do you want from me Bean?” He sighed, sounding annoyed.

“I want an answer, do you want me to do this? Yes? Or No?” There was silence, making Bean a bit nervous.

“Yes, it’d be great for the company to ya know.. have younger bodies,” Vox sounded so unsure of himself.

Bean sighed in disappointment, “Okay Vox.”

“We can hang out afterwards if you want, okay?” He offered.

“I don’t know,” she wanted the conversation to be over, she had nothing else to really say to him.

“Don’t be a brat Bean!” His voice became distorted and angry. “If you don’t want to be treated like a child, then stop bitching like one!” The call ended.

She stared at her phone in anger and disbelief, that was the last time he called her a bitch! Bean put her phone away. “Now, where were we?” She turned, to where her mother was supposed to be standing. But all that was there was the bloody knife laying on the desk. Anger filled her body, making her drip toxic waste.

“What the fuck?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Awe..I’m going to miss him being so quiet,” Ruby pinched Donnie’s cheek.

He snatched away from her.

“I don’t mean to be in your business but why is he tied up?” Alastor asked, staring at an angry Donahue tied up on the floor.

“He was being bad so I had to put him in timeout,” Ruby grinned.

Alastor was a very busy man and had no time for her shenanigans.

“Here you are, Eugenia wanted to give it to you herself but I think she might be a bit tied up at the moment,” he threw the mask on the floor in front of Donnie, who looked at the Radio Demon like he was an idiot.

Ruby turned to Alastor, “What do you mean?”

“I won’t say much but apparently Eugenia decided to tell Bean that she was her mother, she wanted to have a chat with her,” Alastor leaned on his cane. “I guess today she’ll find out how specific you have to be with contacts.” He chuckled, Eugenia hadn’t used Bean’s real name in the contract, so it was void, but he wasn’t telling her that.

Ruby laughed along with him, “You can go now,” she waved him away.

Alastor put his hands on his chest, “My my, you could at least say thank you.”

“He owes you a thank you, I wanted to keep him as quiet as a mouse,” she ruffled Donnie’s hair.

“Uh huh, well take care my dear,” Alastor smiled at Ruby then turned to Donnie smirking. “Be a good boy Donnie,” he teased, pinching Donnie’s cheek, then shadowed away laughing maniacally.

Ruby’s smile faded into a frown, she bent to Donnie’s level. “Now, let’s do this again, since you obviously didn’t understand me the first time,” she held his chin. “You will protect your daughter, I don’t care if you have to lock the brat in a closet! You keep her safe from that man! Or the next time you see me this mask is going down your throat! Are we clear?” She put the mask on Donnie.

“Yes Ruby,” he answered in a monotone voice.

She smirked, walking away feeling victorious.

Little did she know Donnie had other plans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bean: “Oh fuck yes! Take me daddy!”

Porn Actor: “You like that?! You wanna more?!”

Bean: “Yeah! Put another hot dog in my pussy!”

Porn actor: “You want mustard or ketchup baby?”

Bean: “Both!”

Bean sat up under the covers staring at the video, she probably stuck up to 15 hot dogs up there. Well not 15 just 2 but she was proud of herself either way. She went to watch another video, but there were no more. Had she really watched all of them?

She closed her laptop sitting in the dark when her door burst open, Bean snatched the covers off seeing Cherri Bomb in her room.

“Bean what are ya doin?!” She jumped on her bed. “You’ve been up here all day! I thought last night killed ya or somethin’.”

Bean rubs her temples, “I’m sorry I’ve had a morning, I just can’t be around others,” her mind went back to early this morning. Had Eugenia told them what happened? Told them she was her daughter? Bean wanted to know but at the same time she didn’t.

“Well, I got just the cure for that,” Cherri dug in her shirt, pulling out a plastic baggie filled with pills.

“So..your solution for a hangover is to what? Become intoxicated again?” Bean raised an eyebrow.

Cherri looked at the bag confused, “What! No? It’s to get high.”

“Ugh! But I also have that thing for Val this week,” Bean forgot she had called him back telling him she’d do it.

“Why you work for that dick I’ll never know,” She handed Bean six pills. “I’m givin’ you these, be responsible!”

Bean rolled her eyes, “Is Cherri Bomb telling me to be responsible? I don’t know..maybe Voe isn’t the only one that traded up.”

Cherri pushed her head, “Shut up!” She laughed. “Come on, take one and get back to bein social!”

Bean nodded, before swallowing a pill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chicago, Illinois 1983

“I don’t understand! I thought you said I could,” a 10 year old Bean followed Eugenia around the house.

“Do not put words in my mouth Beatrice! I said I’d think about it!” Eugenia snapped at her daughter.

“But the principal said grades were good this year, she recommended me and everything,” Bean stomped her foot.

Eugenia rolled her eyes, “Don’t be a brat, it’s just a camp Bean.”

“It’s a dance camp! And it’d be amazing! We’re going to California, Louisiana, New York, Florida, Texas-”

“I get it Bean!” She interrupted her daughter. “I don’t think you’d appreciate it.”

“I would, I promise!” Bean looked up at her with pleading eyes.

The mother knelt in front of her child, “I know you think you want this, but you don’t. You don’t know what you want. The places you named, those are for stuck up jerks so think they’re better than everyone else, do you think you’re better than everyone else?” Her daughter shook her head. “Exactly.”

“But Stefan said I could go,” Bean whined.

Eugenia stared at her daughter, not knowing what to say. So she said something that was gonna be hard for Bean to swallow.

“I think it’s time you pick up a new hobby, no more dance.”

Present day, Hell

“Wait but why couldn’t she go?” Voe asked examining Eugenia’s hand. Alastor asked her to look at it, why did he think she was a doctor? And she just loved how he was giving her the cold shoulder but found time to ask her to sew up another bitch’s hand, not that Gigi was a bitch- Well she kind of was.. but not to her, to her daughter who was Bean.

“Bean wasn’t the smartest, she wasn’t careful of anything or anyone,” she watched the doe sew her hand. “And back then, it wasn’t really a great time for black people or women.”

Voe scrunched up her face, it wasn’t really a great time for both in the present day either; “Well I don’t think that was fair of you to do.”

“Protecting my daughter from the world?”

She internally screeched, “You can’t protect her from everything, you kept her from succeeding at anything-”

“No I didn’t! She got to study abroad! I never got to do that stuff” Gigi interrupted her, sending Voe into a rage.

Maybe it was this whole pregnancy process or something but she actually screamed, “Gigi! I don’t know if you noticed when you were alive, but the world still isn’t the best place! She could’ve been a rockette or something, instead now she’s spending eternity with the worst people that once walked the earth,” Voe took a breath. “You should’ve given her a chance to see what the world had to offer, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Hm, I never thought about it that way,” Gigi responded. “Is it weird that I kind of expected it?”

“Nope I’m pretty sure everyone’s thought of stabbing their mom,” Voe wrapped her hand.

“Not me.”

“Okay that’s weird.”

The sinners laughed, Gigi examined Voe. “Did you gain weight?”

Voe was about to be offended by the question, but gasped realizing what that could mean, she blushed, touching her stomach.

“Maybe.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being the facility manager for the hotel had many perks. For one, he could do as he pleased and call it “business”. While being one of the most feared overlords, he could get anybody, employee or resident, to do what he wanted; whether he owned them or not. However, what he liked most was the observation of the many sinners he noticed, he noticed what they did every day, how they acted and what they were up to.

But he couldn’t figure his Vera out, couldn’t tell what she was up to, or doing especially with Lucifer. Didn’t she know how much her betrayal the first time hurt him? Did she even care?

Alastor chose to put that thought on the back burner, he pulled his attention to someone else.

Bean.

She was not herself, he rarely saw her. For the past week now the young girl was either intoxicated or someone told Alastor that she was in her room. He didn’t have a chance to introduce her to Rosie, and since she wasn’t gonna even bother trying to annoy him, he had to go to her.

Alastor found the girl laying on the couch, trying to light a rolled up piece of paper. “I thought drugs were Angel’s hobby, glad you’re taking up something.”

“What do you want?” Bean wasn’t looking at him, still trying to light the paper. “Fucking lighter.”

“Well I was hoping we could play one of our little hand games, last time we almost made it to seven in ‘Numbers��,” Alastor never felt prouder.

She looked up at him as if he lost his mind, “No, I have game,” she sat up. “It’s called,‘Why does Alastor own my mother?’” Bean looked upset.

Alastor knew she’d be upset, he’d honestly been waiting for this moment, “I don’t believe I’ve heard of that one,” he joked.

“No? I’ll explain,” she smiled sarcastically. “It’s basically where you don’t speak to me EVER AGAIN! Leave me the hell alone!” Bean stood up, angrily looking up at the Radio Demon.

He was silent for a moment then sighed, she was being dramatic. Did he really think that he’d own Eugenia as some sick joke to her? But he’d give her some space, “I can get behind those rules.”

“Good,” her voice cracked. “Oh! And if you see that fucking coward tell her and we have unfinished business,” She said before walking towards the hotel doors.

“Kind of late to be going out, don’t you think?!” He called after her, but Alastor only got the door slamming as a response. His large grin increased in size.

“Now that’s much better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So..ya mom is the hotel attendant,” Angel was trying to sort out everything Bean had told him.

“And a bitch,” Bean said, putting on black lipstick in the mirror.

“Hm, so Gigi is the enemy, and the reason you like to be a whore,” he said.

“Well, I don’t know about being a whore but yes she is my number two enemy,” she powdered her nose.

“Alright I’m sold, imma tell Cherri,” Angel texting her the whole time if he was being honest.

Bean turned to the spider demon, “Why?”

“Um..cause she’s my best bitch?” Angel said in a “uh duh” tone. “Anyway, you ready yet?” He stood up.

She turned to him, “How do I look? ” Angel exclaimed her.

“Like a hoe,” He smirked.

“Then let’s go,” she grinned.

Val’s party was amazing! Well, at least that’s what Bean remembered it being. She had taken the rest of the pills Cherri had given her and it honestly felt like she was the client, Bean felt like she wasn’t even on cloud nine anymore, probably on cloud 20 or something.

Almost every sinner the entire night got with Bean, she was on beds, floors, walls even in the hot tubs. She loved how the drugs made her feel, how the sinners told her what a “good girl” she was being. They yanked her hair and pulled on her tail until she screamed, they paid extra if they could draw blood.

Bean knew why some of these freaks were in hell now.

“Sugar baby,” Val sat next to Bean. “You made daddy so much money tonight, I’m so proud of you,” he kissed her cheek.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” was all she could say. She was honestly tired, she needed to close her eyes.

Val’s phone went off, he looked at the message before rolling his eyes, “Es un bebé,” he sighed.

Translation: He’s such a baby.

“Who was that?” Bean asked.

“Just Vox, he’s been up my ass all day, and not in a sexy way! Talking about how you guys had plans and that I ruined everything!” He threw his phone across the room. “He’s throwing a tantrum and it’s not attractive.”

Bean had totally forgotten about Vox, she looked at her phone. There were no texts or missed calls, was he ok? Was he sick? Or hurt? “Maybe I should make sure he’s okay.”

“I don’t care, as long as he doesn’t yell at me again, I’ll kick his ass,” Val crossed his arms.

The sinner rolled her eyes before leaving. They were both dramatic as hell.

Bean made her way to V-Tower, it was quiet in the building, probably because most sinners were at the party. She made her way past some sinners who were rushing back and forth.

Finally making it to Vox’s room she knocked on the door, “Vox? Are you dead? Vox…” Bean waited for a long minute before kicking the door, “VOX!”

The door flew open, “WHAT?!” Vox yelled, his screen glitching. He calmed down seeing Bean, “Oh, what do you want?”

“I came to see how you were, apparently you’ve been pretty grumpy all day so-”

“Aren’t you supposed to be working Val’s little party prostitute thing,” Vox crossed his arms.

Bean felt kind of guilty, she never gave him an answer to hanging out, “Well, I was thinking we could hang out, and talk.”

The overlord laughed, “You think I’d wanna hang with you after you chose Val over me?! You can’t be serious!”

“But you told me to-”

“I didn’t tell you to do shit!” He interrupted her. “You left me alone! And after all I’ve done for you! You wouldn’t even be able to walk if it wasn’t for me!”

Bean’s blood began to boil, what was with everyone today?! Was it “Treat Bean like Shit Day”?!

“You seriously need to get your priorities in order, at least Voe does things for the people she cares about,” He smirked before slamming the door.

She stared at the door enraged, she didn’t know what to do, or what to say! But you know what?! If he was so pissed about this leg! Then he could have it.

Before Bean could even think about it, she pulled out her switchblade and started stabbing her prosthetic leg, she only stopped having accidentally stabbed her thigh, she screamed.

Vox came back out seeing Bean sitting on the floor, holding her leg in pain.

“What the fuck?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bean sat on the bed in silence, her anger had faded making her realize that what she did was stupid.

Vox examined her damaged leg, “How did this even happen? What were you even doing?” Vox complained.

Bean rolled her eyes, “Are you done yet?” She wasn’t gonna tell him anything about stabbing herself.

Vox looked up at her, “I fixed the leg, you might walk funny for a day or two.”

“Fantastic, now all of hell is gonna see me waddle around like a toddler,” she crossed her arms.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING: THIS PART CONTAINS SMUT🚨 (skip bold font if uncomfortable)

“Ya know you don’t have to leave,” Vox smirks.

Bean looks at him with a straight face, “Really? And where should I stay?”

“You can stay here,” he kisses her leg making her blush. “With me,” he continues kissing her thigh.

“Vox…stop..” she looked away from him starting to feel heat form in her face and between her legs. What was he doing? Why was he being like this?

“I miss you,” he smiled up at her.

Bean was still looking away, not saying anything, she couldn’t concentrate. Between feeling Vox slowly lick his way up her skirt, the throbbing sensation coming from her crotch, she didn’t know what to focus on.

Vox starting kissing and licking her crotch through her wet underwear, “You’re fucking soaked baby.” Bean bit her lip, gripping the sheets as she moaned. “I know you can get louder..” he pulled her soaked underwear down before licking from her folds to her clitoris.

She put one of her legs on bed, allowing the tv demon to enter his thick tongue into her vagina. Bean moaned loudly feeling Vox’s tongue lick her walls, “Vox…” was the only word she could muster up.

Vox got on the bed sitting next to Bean, who was looking up at him waiting to see what he was gonna do next; “You’re so beautiful,” he said kissing her neck. She bit her lip feeling him start to bite her, he had his hands through her thick hair before slowly moving a hand towards her nipple. He stopped, pulling her onto his lap, “I bet you missed me too,” he smirked before they started making out.

Vox goes back to her neck making more bite marks in the same spot, “I think I just need to-“ she laughed as he grabbed her sides tickling her for a moment. “Stop..” Bean smiled as he pushed her dress strap down, kissing her shoulder; she giggled and moaned as he squeezed her boob.

“You want me to stop?” Vox stopped what he was doing.

“No don’t-" Bean squealed in pleasure as he bit her shoulder causing her to almost fall off his lap. Vox used one hand to hold her up , while the other one wandered under her dress and began rubbing her soaked throbbing clit; Bean ripped his bow tie off before unbuttoning his shirt while she kissed him.

Vox slipped two fingers into Bean’s vagina, “Fuck!” She gasped gripping onto his back as he started penetrating her. “Vox!” She moaned.

“You like that baby?” He started going faster. “Tell daddy what you think.”

“Shut up,” Bean laughed between moans. “Go faster,” Vox laid them on the bed, his fingers still inside her. He starts licking on one of her nipples that is halfway out of her strapless bra, Bean felt like her body would explode at any moment; she was so close…but she had to stop. “Vox..stop..”

Vox heard the seriousness in her voice and stopped, “Are you kidding?” They both sat up. “What the fuck Bean.” He watched her get dressed, feeling pissed.

“I’m sorry,” was all she said before getting up to leave. However, her arm was grabbed by Vox. “Bean looked at him, “Let me go.”

“What is wrong with you?” He glared at her. “Why are you all of a sudden being so difficult?!”

Bean was shocked, “What? Because I know my worth, I'm difficult?” She snapped.

Anytime anyone needed her she was there. Did whatever anyone wanted! No matter how it made her feel! When was someone going to do anything for her? When would they be there for her?

“Oh please, this isn’t you ‘knowing your worth’,” Vox rolled his eyes, doing air quotes. “This is you throwing a hissy fit because, what? Am I being too mean?! Am I rude?! Disrespectful?! What is it?!” He pulled her closer with each question.

She snatched away from him, crossing her arms. “Why are you so upset?”

“I’m not upset,” he said through his teeth.

“That was rhetorical! You don’t have the right to be upset! After the week you put me through!”

“Oh please! What exactly did I ‘put you through’?!” The tv demon used air quotes, AGAIN! If he used those quotes again he’d have no fucking fingers.

“Lets see, you blew me off when YOU were the one that planned for us to hang out-”

“That was weeks ago! Next!” He crossed his arms.

“I’m not finished!” She fumed. “I wanted to hang out after I was done with Val! And you berated me for doing it! When you were the one that wanted me to do it!”

“You obviously wanted to do the job! I was just giving you what you wanted!”

“I did it because that’s my job! I work for Val! Sex is literally in the job description! But I asked you Vox! Why didn’t you just say no?! Even Val was talking about you being pissy to him, he would’ve let me leave!”

“Well, maybe you should’ve,” Vox shrugged, looking as if he could care less

“I did- Ugh! You are so frustrating!” Bean yelled. “Why are you pushing me away?! Even after the things I’ve read about you! I am still here! I am standing in front of a guy who can embarrass himself in front of millions of sinners and hellborns alike but can’t just care about someone! Maybe that’s why Voe didn’t want to stay here! At least-”

“AHA!” Vox smiled excitedly. “I knew it! You’re jealous of Voe! All the opportunities I gave her! And the attention!”

Bean stared at him in disbelief, this man was insane! He was completely out of his mind! “I am not jealous of Voe!” Her voice cracked. She might’ve been slightly jealous of her, but Bean wasn’t the type to let it get in the way of her friendships. There was a time she was also jealous of Angel! Even Barktholomew! But she still loved them dearly.

Vox looked at the shorter demon smugly, “I bet you can’t stand that I’d rather fuck her than you.”

Well that hurt, more than hurt, it stung! “Wow, okay.”

“Nothing else?” He put his hands on his hips, smirking.

“Just that, you’re gonna end up alone.” The Overlord looked confused. “You hurt everybody around you.

Vox rolled his eyes, “Whatever,” he walks away and Bean follows.

“Someday everyone will get tired of your shit and how you treat them!” She rages while Vox has his back to her.

“You’re still talking?” He sounds annoyed.

“Is that what happened with you and Alastor? Did he get tired of you because you were always on the same stupid bullshit? Is that why keep trying to get his attention? Newsflash! He doesn’t think about you! He doesn’t even look at you!”

Static was heard from Vox, he chuckles, “Okay, that’s enough,” he grins to mask his building anger.

“He can’t stand you! You’re souls can’t stand you! When you died they threw a party!” That was a lie but they did post about it. “The truth is, if you weren’t a manipulative prick! You wouldn’t have any of the success you have now! No one would give a fuck about you!”

Vox glared at this point, “Be quiet,” he growled.

“Why? You don’t wanna hear about how one day no one's gonna wanna watch your shitty shows? Vox-2-Nite is gonna be the lowest rated show?!”

Vox stood right in front of her, “Shut up!”

“Velvette and Valentino are gonna get tired of you embarrassing them one day and leave you to rot with your sharks! Sooner or later Alastor won’t even remember who you are! Voe could give two shits about you and if I’m being completely honest, I’m starting to care less about you as well!”

Vox grabbed Bean by her arms, “BE QUIET!” His voice became distorted as he used his hypnotic powers. Bean’s mouth immediately shut against her wishes, Vox realizing what he was doing immediately stopped, letting her go. “Fuck,” He looked away from her.

He said nothing, only heard the clicking of her heels getting further and further away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bean walked down the dark streets of Hell sniffling, she tried her best not to cry or even feel sad. Even though there was no one around she was still ashamed to even feel upset.

Maybe she had no right to be upset. Maybe she should’ve just kept going and kept her mouth shut! Why’d she have to ruin everything?!

The worst part about this all was that she wasn’t upset about the betrayal, Bean was upset because she left.

What else could she even say? He wasn’t listening, maybe he’d never listen.

“Help..” Bean heard a voice come from an ally. “Help me please..” the voice was familiar.

“Donnie?” She slowly walked into the dark passageway. Sitting against the wall was Donnie, he was holding his side. Blood was leaking from it. She hurried up to him, “What happened?”

“A..guy..” he mumbled.

“What guy?”

“This one,” at that moment he pulled out a taser, tasing Bean until she was unconscious. Donnie stood up, putting his daughter over his shoulder.

“Gets ‘em every time.”

(Sorry for the late update guys 😭 @nkirukaj thanks for help with the chapter and the title)

[dude1818]

Edit: It's on AO3 now

Totori was still perched on Maru’s bed, but at least she had her underwear back on.

“Again, I’m so sorry for Maru’s behavior,” Kiruko pleaded. She and Maru kneeled in front of the bed with their heads lowered contritely. “He gets a little, ah, carried away sometimes.”

Maru stiffened at the implication. After the faux pas where he called for his “sis” to come watch while the cute proprietor of the hotel they were staying at tried to seduce him, though, he was loath to open his mouth any more than he had to.

Kiruko pressed on and explained what Maru’s power was and how the two of them had been operating as a monster hunter team. “So yeah, that’s basically it. I shoot ‘em, and while they’re stunned, Maru does his special touch and destroys the core that powers them. I swear, we have no idea why his powers triggered when he touched you. That’s never happened with a person before. We have absolutely no intention of being bad guests and bringing harm to you or your establishment.”

While Maru was just embarrassed for fumbling a girl so badly, Kiruko had much more practical concerns. Totori had probably sold them out to the bandits earlier. But when they had returned from the “safe water” trap, after killing the wild bear that had attacked and recovering the injured bandits, Totori had given them their stuff back and covered their tracks when the other bandits took away the wounded for treatment. Kiruko didn’t know if they’d be so lucky with another bandit encounter if the King of Hotels kicked them out of her hotel, especially since she had used all of her bullets on the bear.

Thankfully, Totori seemed more amused than anything. “It’s all fine,” she said. “No hard feelings. Although,” she said, glancing at Maru, “you never actually addressed my proposal.”

Maru blanched.

Totori laughed. “Fair enough, I’m sure you’re not in the mood anymore! However, I’m not too picky.” With that, she started eyeing Kiruko up and down.

This time Kiruko was the one with nothing to say. “We-ell, I mean, um…” she stammered out. She felt her cheeks redden as Maru shot her an absolute death-glare. It was one thing for him to botch his first time, but for Kiruko to claim the rebound right in front of him?

Kiruko hurriedly tried again. “Look you’ve been very nice but we’re here on professional business okay and I’m going back to my room now thank you good night!”

Kiruko backed out of Maru’s room as fast as the words tumbled out of her mouth. She could feel his glare boring a hole into her, and she knew she would never live that down. Totori’s giggling rang in her ears as she fled all the way back to her own room.

Kiruko threw her jacket over the chair and slumped into her hotel bed. Wrangling with a real-life bear wasn’t nearly as stressful as dealing with other people. First Maru coming onto her, getting caught, and now the hotel girl? Kiruko never wanted that kind of attention.

She took several deep breaths and tried to slow her racing heartbeat. She would never have actually said yes to the kid, right? Surely it was just a matter of being caught by surprise.

A couple of minutes passed, and then there was a quiet knock at the door. Kiruko’s breath caught in her throat. The door opened a crack, and Totori slipped inside.

“Hey.” At Kiruko’s deer-in-the-headlights expression at her intrusion, Totori looked for a place to sit down that wasn’t the bed. She found the chair and pushed the jacket to the side. As she did, Kiruko noticed that she had put the rest of her clothes back on, then kicked herself mentally when she realized she had been looking at that.

Totori continued. “Hey, I’m sorry about that. I mean, the offer technically stands, but really I was just trying to lighten the mood. I definitely didn’t mean to freak you out like that.”

Kiruko took another deep breath and steadied herself. “I meant what I said back there, or what I was trying to say. You’ve been very gracious with us, maybe more than you needed to be. And it’s not like you’re not cute!” Kiruko realized she was straying from the point and blushed. “Anyway, it’s not anything to do with you. I’m just not comfortable doing, well, that.”

“So it’s not just because I’m a girl?” Totori asked. She seemed a little more interested at that.

“We-ell, I wouldn’t say that.” They had already laid Maru’s secrets bare; no point holding her own back. She left out the grisly details, but briefly explained how she had once been a boy and was somehow now in his sister’s body. “And well, I liked girls before, so I don’t see why that would change.”

“Huh.” Totori looked thoughtful. “I believe you. But if it’s not because I’m a girl, and you did say I was cute…” She waggled her eyebrows and Kiruko blushed again. “So what’s your actual hang-up? Like I said, I want people to feel good, and you don’t seem to be feeling good about any of that.”

“It’s my sister’s body,” Kiruko emphasized. “I don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know what happened to her. I don’t know if she consented to this, because I certainly didn’t! But I’ve spent the last five years taking care of this body and being respectful of it, and I don’t want to do anything with it that Kiriko wouldn’t have been okay with.”

“Sex,” Totori said.

“Ye-yeah,” Kiruko responded. “It just doesn’t feel right to do it with my sister’s body.”

“Well, I don’t know if I agree with you, Kiruko. Isn’t it your body now? But I accept that you’re uncomfortable. Once you figure it out, though, come back and pay me a visit.” The King of Hotels patted her hand, gave her a wink, and left the room.

Kiruko rolled over and buried her face in her pillow.

[hershelwidget]

Um. Yeah ok I really need to get this off my chest, so uh, life update post..! Everything major is under the cut, but just know that I’m not in a great place right now. ^^; It’s okay to give this post any kind of notes, and in fact it would be appreciated if you had any words of wisdom, but please don’t feel obligated to interact. I’m just venting.

[General Death Warning, Suicidal Thoughts… You get the gist. Proceed with caution, shit is BAD bad.]

1. I’m going to lose my mother soon.

This is the biggest thing that’s fucking me up. My mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer a while back, and she was receiving treatment for it… But the doctors messed up, made her Worse, and now she has less than three years to live. The estimation was 1-3. And with how she drinks, smokes, vapes… I don’t think the chances are very good that she’ll make it to her next birthday. Next October 8th might be the last one she sees, or she might not see it or all, or some miracle will happen and she’ll get to see two more. She’s also expressed that she’s suicidal. My uncles and cousin had to come in the house and take away all the keys to the gun safe because they felt that she might try something. My mother has days where she falls over a lot, and on a few of these days, I’ve seen. So much blood. So much blood has come out of this woman. It’s fucking terrifying. I’ve never been more afraid of death in my life. Sure, there’s things that help, like Mitch Albom’s tuesdays with Morrie, but nothing changes the fact that I’m going to be motherless before I graduate university. Before I start my career. Before I get married. I know people lose their parents at way younger ages, but fuck man, it still hurts. I’m WATCHING this woman die. I can’t do shit about it. All I can do is spend my time wisely and pretend that she’s allowed to continue to commit mild cases of child abuse just because she’s dying and that I’m completely fine with everything she does because if I don’t then I look like an asshole. Fuck. I love her but she is not a good mother. I love her and I’ll miss her so much and I’ll be inconsolable at her funeral but oh my God this woman should have lost custody of me and my brother sooner. My parents should have divorced sooner. She doesn’t deserve to die. I hate everything about this.

2. Ironically, I’m constantly debating suicide myself.

It’s not a 24/7 kind of thing, but as I mentioned to my partner earlier today, it feels like a bullet is whizzing by every single day. One bullet represents one “I should kill myself”, or one “It would be easier to be dead”, or other such phrases. I’m really trying to avoid it. I’m good at talking myself out of it, from as small as “Not right now” to as long-winded as an essay of a rationalization as to what I still have to live for. For example, wouldn’t it fucking suck for your youngest child to kill himself while you yourself are dying? Yeah… The main thing that triggers (ha) the bullets is whenever I mess up or otherwise get the sense that someone has a good reason to be mad at me. Lately my Hostings have been not as great as I want them to be, and my people have been distant or pissy or just generally giving off the vibes that they’re upset at me. I know they have lives outside of our server, outside of me. I know they’d TELL ME if I was messing up, or at least I like to think they would… But it feels like they’re the ones pulling the trigger whenever something goes even mildly wrong. Which is not a great thought to have. I don’t want to demonize these people- I love them. They’re my friends. But even when they DO make it clear I messed up, I want them to just shoot me.

3. Really, in general, I have an unhealthy obsession with being portrayed a certain way and it’s not helping me deal with anything else on this list.

Over the course of my life, I’ve desperately put up an image of being The Good One. The Nice One. The Kind One. The Optimistic One. The Friend. The Leader. The Professor. I. I fucking hate being The Professor. That’s the worst one. It embodies all of the other labels, it’s the umbrella of the umbrellas, and I hate how it’s my own fault that people can only see me as The Professor. But I’ve trapped myself in it. I’m stuck. I can’t get out. If I get out, I lose everything else, the mask comes off, and nobody ever trusts me ever again. Nobody cares ever again. Honestly, I doubt they actually care while I’m still The Fucking Professor. If I’m not the guy who can say “it’ll be okay” and that he’s there for you, if I’m not the guy who keeps getting up no matter how hard he’s beaten into the fucking ground, if I’m not the guy who can give you earnest and genuine help and advice, if I’m not the guy who can be your guiding light, then I’m nothing. Either that, or I’m just some spiteful asshole who hallucinates sometimes and is a burden to the society. I’m either something I hate, or I’m something everyone else hates. I can’t find a middle ground. There’s just nothing in-between. It sucks. It sucks that I forced this on myself.

I don’t know. I’m sorry all of that came out, I didn’t intend for this to be that long of a post, but uh… If you read all that, then. Now you know what’s going on with hershelwidget. So. Do with this what you will.

[idubbbzdom]

Journaling under the cut. Don’t wanna blast it on ur dash if u don’t wanna see

So triggered yesterday i full on believed it was Sunday. Even now that I can see I was crazy I still believe it bc I keep thinking “they come in pairs they come in twos there’s never just one.” Last night hope said why did it happen to her and I said “because she could handle it 😵‍💫😵‍💫”

I had a…. Um. It’s hard to call it a flashback bc it wasn’t what it was but it gave the same vibe. When she was in front of the fryers I had full on visions of horrific accidents like I’m my mom or something (I never do that). Idk I felt like I was about to witness something and I’m always going to be not there when I need to be :( I thought I was going to have to see it and be like “I had a bad feeling, why didn’t I rescue her?”

Even now I’m feeling that. That’s why I keep thinking “they come in pairs” because I thought about staying for her urgent care but I didn’t and now we’re separated again. But then again, the circumstances don’t match the pattern. The pattern is when I let her go when I should be there or I should stop her. This is too mundane and I shouldn’t stop her or necessarily be there. The fryer from earlier matched the pattern more closely. I don’t want her to do anything with the fryers ever if she can help it 😭

Then again again………. To me hope is tied to this too much. Wouldn’t something happening now (I don’t want to say what I think it could be in case I jinx it) be just perfect? Wouldn’t it tie a circle together so nicely? Idk. Maybe we would have to wait for something even crazier to line up.

Im severely overreacting to this. The injury is not that bad

[eebydeebyderby]

While We Wait Ch. (4/4)

A fic in which Reader grows closer to Egon as the team tackles an unknown supernatural threat. Soft continuation of this one-shot. 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

General info:

Egon x fem!Reader, fluff, mostly light-hearted, minor angst, hurt/comfort, slow-burn (sort of)

Chapter info:

Word count: ~4.4k

Content warnings: non life-threatening injuries

@bellamy1998

@katethecolorful

@a-very-salty-dragon

@egonspenglersweetie

@saltedtoast

@leah-halliwell92

Thanks for your patience! I apologize for the hiatus in my writing; my laptop and kidney decided to die within a week of each other.

Damn, you were tired. 

The previous night was just a blur for you when you tried to recall it, lying in bed, eyes closed, not yet fully roused to consciousness. Part of you wanted to get up, to look around and see what those strange noises were, what that strange smell was. But, another part wanted nothing more than to stay lying where you were, cozy and completely still. Your mind was in a haze, slow and lethargic, and whatever was causing it felt so, so good.

No. Something was wrong. You tried recalling your last memories, wracking your brain as the events of the night tried unveiling themselves from behind your narcotic stupor, but you got nothing but mental static. You were so tired, too fatigued to even attempt to open your eyes. You wanted to go back to sleep, give into the soft, enchanting call of unconsciousness, but something was stopping you: a voice, deep and reassuring, gradually nudging your mind back into gear. You stirred. Something slipped onto your upturned palm — a hand, warm and calloused, gently pulling you back into the waking world. 

Yes. Slowly, slowly, you were coming to — sort of. Your fingers weakly wrapped around the hand in yours. You were lying on your side, curled up beneath a thin blanket. The surrounding noises soon became easy to decipher: a heart monitor, nurses chatting and walking through the halls, the occasional crackle of the intercom speaker — you were in the hospital. 

You opened your eyes. Your vision was still adjusting, but you easily recognized Egon through the mild blur, sitting in a chair just a few feet from you. A smile crept across your lips. Yes, his handsome face was a very nice sight to wake up to. 

He forced a brief, hollow half-smile in return, his eyes reddened and swollen, his nose rubbed raw. “You’re conscious earlier than anticipated. How are you feeling?” His voice was slightly congested, which went completely over your obscured notice.

“I feel like ass. It’s great. When can I leave?”

“You should be ready for discharge quite soon. The doctors want to keep an observation on you for a few more hours until your pain medication wears off, since they administered quite a bit more than intended. Your weight was measured in pounds but the dosage was calculated with that number being interpreted as kilograms.”

“Hell yeah. I love it. Please never let them do that to me again.” You absentmindedly flexed your fingers into his hand. “What happened?”

He returned the gesture. “The overstimulation of the fractured fibula triggered an abnormally strong response from the parasympathetic system and caused a spell of vasovagal hypotension-induced syncope.”  

“Egon, please. You’re very handsome but I’m on drugs. Half the time, I have no idea what you’re saying when I’m sober.”

He was a bit taken aback by the boldness of your comment, but left it alone. “Walking on a broken leg made you faint.” He cleared his throat, his next words slow and hesitant. "What do you, um, remember?" 

You shrugged. Pleasantly drowsy was going to be as awake as you'd get. “I got into a catfight with a demon in the woods and woke up in a hospital and I think my leg is broken?”

“What about the events between now and after the altercation? Can you recall?”

“Nope.” You tried sitting up, but then laid back down when a powerful wave of dizziness made you lightheaded. Sleep beckoned your return, but you tried your best to shake off the temptation. “There’s more that happened? Why can’t I remember?” 

“The combination of peroneal neuropathological-induced shock and opioids likely blocked the long-term potentiation of memory formation and gave you a temporary case of retrograde amnesia.” 

"Yes. Mm-hm. These are words. These are words I understand. Yes, sir.” 

He cocked an eyebrow, but stood silent. "You don't remember the drive here, or Winston splinting your leg?" He sounded hopeful, almost relieved.

“No. Bad?” 

"Y — ...Well, it was, quite, um…” He cleared his throat. “I'm glad you don't remember, frankly."

You held his large hand up in yours, lightly tracing your fingers along the rough callouses on his palm, across the scrapes and burns and scars on his knuckles in various stages of healing, the large bandage between his index and thumb from his most recent lab accident, soiled with soot and cake dirt. The topic of memory already slipped from your sluggish, clouded thoughts. “You’ve got some big ‘ole man hands, Egon. Very popular with ladies. I’m a ladies.” You intertwined your fingers with his; he returned the gesture by curling his fingers into yours. "Lay down with me?" 

His cheeks flushed pink and his hand reflexively tensed in your grip. "I, um,” he stammered, flustered, “ I don't want to breach your comfort."

"I'm the one asking." You scooted over a bit and patted the empty spot next to you. 

He awkwardly climbed into the bed with you, jumpsuit and cumbersome boots absolutely filthy, careful not to jostle your leg wrapped in its fresh cast. He settled into a clumsy half-sitting position, his shoulders against the metal headboard.

Once he was situated, you laid your head against his soft belly, your arm lazily wrapped around him. The muscles in his back were already protesting the position he’d taken, but it was something he could ignore for your sake. "Is this okay?"

"Mm-hm. This is nice." Leaning against him, you felt the full rumble of his pleasant voice resonate throughout your entire being. You closed your eyes, feeling your head rise and fall with his breathing. “This could just be the opiates in my system messing with my head,” you said, “but I think I’m getting the impression that something’s off with you, like you’re not feeling well or something.” 

He sighed.

"Had a bad night, Spengs?"

"I'd argue that you had a worse night than myself."

"It's not a contest." The morphine-induced drowsiness was digging its tendrils into your mind and clouding your thoughts behind a curtain of bliss, but you were fighting it off the best you could—a losing battle. "I don't want you to be upset," you said, your words becoming slow and slurred as the drugs lulled you back towards unconsciousness. "Yeah, I got hurt. It's par for the course. I went on my own accord. I knew what I was getting into when Peter hired me, that balding menace. 

“I get it, though. I hate seeing you get hurt. Every time you come back from a bust all bruised and sore and tired, I feel bad. That gash on your face — I had trouble looking you in the eye for the first few days it was healing. I couldn’t stand seeing it. I felt weird and uncomfortable and frustrated that there was so very little I could do.  

"I love you, Spengs. I've loved you so much. I wish I could convince you of how good you are.” 

He remained silent, clenching and unclenching his jaw, his heart pounding rapidly. This escaped your notice as the opiates dragged you further and further from lucidity. 

You yawned. “Where are the others?”

He cleared his throat, painfully aware of how long he was taking to answer. When he finally managed to summon his voice, his words were strained and hoarse. “They went back to the firestation to clean up. I felt it would be best if I remained here to keep you company.” 

You yawned again. “You’re popular with ladies. Janine says she had a huge crush on you for a while before her spaz boyfriend Tully came along.”

“I’m aware. She and I had a discussion about it. It went well.” 

Another yawn bubbled in your throat. "I like Janine,” you said thickly, “but Tully triggers my prey drive. When he skitters around I get the urge to chase him down and maul him." 

A look of utter confusion crossed his face, but he decided to just dismiss it. Too many thoughts were racing through his head for him to keep track of.

You snickered under your breath and drew closer against him. “I’m going to go back to sleep. Will you stay? I like you here.”

“Yes, of course.” 

"You're trapped anyways. You have no choice. You'll have to kill me if you ever want to use your precious daddy long legs again." 

"I almost did." 

You scoffed, already drifting off to sleep. "Nah. Shut up, Egon, you handsome bastard…" 

 ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☆.｡:*.｡.:*☆ ༓･*˚⁺‧͙

You woke up to a harsh, dull pain throbbing in your lower leg. The pain meds had mostly worn off and you were sobered up. 

You kept your head on his belly, feeling it steadily rise and fall in tune with his breathing. He seemed to be dozing, judging by his deep, slow breathing. You were fully awake, but it wouldn’t hurt to lay down for just a bit longer. Oh, it felt so good to be in his arms. You were quite enjoying yourself, despite the harsh ache twinging in your lower leg. 

You glanced up at him. He looked exhausted, tense and shaken from the recent chaos of everything, his face smeared with a thin layer of soot and grime, his glasses slightly askew. His position was unnatural and awkward; you were almost certain he’d wake up sore. But, for now, you laid your head back down onto him. Your mind was fully back into working order, and the missing events quickly reorganized themselves in your memory. 

****

You jolted back to consciousness with a startled yelp when Winston emptied his ice cold water flask over your face. Egon sank to the ground to keep you from falling when you collapsed against him, and it was in his arms that you awoke.The adrenaline from your fight with the demon completely faded away and was rapidly replaced by a dull, agonizing ache that settled sharply in your leg. Immediately it became too overwhelming and nearly drove you to tears. 

Winston drew upon his previous career as a marine corpsman paramedic and immediately took charge, checking your pulse, flashing a light in your eyes, checking you over for any internal and external injuries. Nothing life-threatening, so he turned his attention to your leg. Ray returned from the Ecto-1 with the first-aid kit. Winston used the scissors to cut away the lower half of your pant leg and lightly ran his fingers over your calf, making you almost jump out of Egon's arms from the jolt that shot up your leg when he went over a specific spot. Winston scowled and started prodding the front of your ankle, which you couldn't feel at all. He then tapped your knee, which was perfectly alright, but there was a spreading numbness below it, occasionally replaced with bolts of pain when certain spots were stimulated. 

Winston sighed and leaned back a bit. His demeanor was calm, focused, but you easily saw the dread darkening his face. 

 Peroneal nerve entrapment, he told you. The unaligned fibular bone was compressing the nerve and needed immediate correction to avoid permanent damage. The benefits of a hospital setting were more than an hour away from your current location, so it had to be corrected here, now. You gave Winston permission to do what he believed was best. 

Winston delicately positioned his hands just above your ankle, getting himself into position. This was going to really, really hurt, he told you in a pained apologetic voice, so you better brace yourself, and he'd be as fast as he could. It'd be over in just a second. Egon reflexively tightened his grip around you ever so slightly. 

In one swift motion, Winston pulled your leg back into alignment and you screamed into Egon's chest, gripping him so tightly that your fingers nearly tore the fabric of his jumpsuit.   

You kept your face buried in Egon’s chest, clinging to him as your breath came in short abrupt bursts, gasping between sobs, light-headed and on the verge of passing out. Egon held you tightly in his arms and petted your hair, tried to coach you through breathing techniques as Winston secured a splint around your leg. 

Egon carried you back to the Ecto-1 and held onto you through the entire drive to the hospital, doing his best to keep steady and cushion you from the jolts and lurches of the car ride, but it did little to ease the shocks of pain that rattled through your leg with each bump in the road. Fresh tears ran down your face with each harsh shock of the car as you held tightly onto him. Still, there was comfort in the way he held you. 

Winston insisted on being the one to take you into the hospital. He was a former paramedic and still kept in-touch with many of his former coworkers in the emergency department, so he could pull some favoritism and push to have you seen first. Winston also urged Ray and Egon to stay outside for a while, take a break and let things process a bit, since they weren’t as accustomed to the mental toll of severe medical emergencies. Reluctantly, Egon handed you over to Winston, who delicately took you in his arms and trotted into the ambulance bay. 

The last you saw of the two other boys was Egon sinking onto a bench, trembling, his hand on his forehead. Ray planted a firm, reassuring hand on Egon’s shoulder, even though he himself was badly shaken up. 

The emergency orthopedic doctor on-call was very pleasant and explained to you and Winston that she was going to give you some strong muscle relaxers and pain medication to help make you comfortable before your X-rays, which almost immediately knocked you out, since they inadvertently more than doubled your dosage. 

That was the last of your memory before waking up with Egon at your bedside, completely blissed out of your mind from the drug mishap and spilling your guts at his feet. But knowing Egon, you thought, he would just dismiss it outright. You’ve said more absurdist things in the past with little reaction from him. 

****

Egon stirred and you pulled away from him as he stood up. The first thing he did was groan, muttering something under his breath as he tried stretching away some of the soreness that stiffened his back, yawning and cracking nearly every vertebrae in his spine. “I apologize,” he said with a small, tired smile, taking the chair by the bed, “but that’s about the most distortion my musculoskeletal lumbar tissue can take before it triggers an immuno-inflammatory response.” 

You sat up. “Other then your back, how are you feeling? I know the past day has been a bit intense.” 

“Well, if I may ask about what you said earlier — ”

Horror shot up the back of your neck. Surely, he wouldn’t take your overdrugged ramblings seriously, right? You groaned, embarrassment burning on your face. “Listen, I am so, so sorry about the things I was on about earlier. I was not in the right state of mind and what I said wasn’t app — ”

“Were those words your genuine feelings?”

“I mean…yeah, but I would’ve preferred to use a more re—"

 “I love you, too.”

His words struck you like a bolt of lightning down your spine. “Oh, shit,” you blurted before you could stop yourself, feeling like your chest was about to burst. 

He took your hands in his. "YN, resuming what I was saying this morning, I... Well, let me preface this by saying that I believe this is long overdue, and I'd be dishonest if I denied having rehearsed what I'm about to say countless times in my head."

He forced himself to take a slow, deep breath, trying to temper his nervousness. 

"You are someone I care deeply, deeply about. The friendship we've developed is something that I consider a primary source of personal contentment. At the same time, a large part of my psyche is often preoccupied with the simultaneous desires and fears of truly expressing the extent of my solicitude when it comes to matters regarding you and, daresay, us. 

"It is one of my greatest hidden internal guilts that I was initially opposed to your hiring by Peter. I loathed the idea of another occupant in the lab, that the company of another person would be nearly ever-present in the working day. For that, I apologize. I look upon those extinct feelings with disdain and chagrin, as nowadays I find great delectation in having you as a permanent presence in my everyday life.

"And yet, there is a growing desire for something more explicitly solidified between us two, something deeper. For the longest time I find myself already adjusting my personal heuristics to fit a devotional mindset about you." 

His face burned hot as he drained the remainder of his bravery for his next sentence.

"And from this, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that I have fallen in love with you." 

 You stared up at him, starry-eyed and completely flustered. 

With the most delicate of touches he tilted your chin upwards, eyes brimmed with fear, uncertainty, nerves ready to burst. His hand moved from your chin and brushed against the side of your face, gently guiding you forward as he leaned forward, drawing the two of you closer, closer—

“Wait,” you muttered, stopping him just an inch from you. His breath was warm on your face, sending a pleasant chill down your spine. “I haven’t brushed my teeth since yesterday morning and the last thing I ate was pretty strong and I probably taste like halogenated anaesthesia so you probably d — ”

He kissed you. 

A giddy warmth bloomed in your chest, making your heart beat wildly, threatening to leap into your throat.

His movements were careful, chaste, still unfamiliar and nervous as the two of you tested the water. Just a few seconds and he pulled back, looking down at you with a soft gaze, trying to gauge your reaction so far.

You burst into a fit of laughter and buried your face into his chest. You wrapped your arms around his torso and pulled yourself tightly against him. No matter how tightly you clung to him, you didn’t feel like you were close enough to him, practically curling up as you tried pressing the entirety of your being against him. He held you in an iron grip, nearly pulling you off the bed. For several minutes you stayed glued to him, relishing his embrace, the unbridled delight of being held in his arms. 

Feeling brash, you lifted yourself up and planted a kiss on the bottom of his jaw. A hum rumbled in the back of his throat and he tilted your chin up, smiling down at you with an amatory gleam in his dark, tired eyes. He pressed his lips to yours, bolder this time, gently holding your face in his hands to deepen the kiss, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb. 

You seized the lapels of his jumpsuit to pull him closer; he let out a small sound of surprise and responded by tangling his fingers into your hair, igniting the kiss with a stifled grunt, which you eagerly reciprocated. 

“Spengler!”

You pulled apart just a split second before Peter was upon Egon, beating him senseless with a large green teddy bear. “Rascal! Scoundrel!”

Egon cowered with his arms over his face, a wide grin plastered on his face. 

Peter was relentless, hitting Egon with every word out of his mouth. “Of—course—you—would—wait—until—she—broke—her—leg—before—you—started—chasing—after—her—so—she—couldn’t—run—away! Bad! Bad Spengler!”

He handed you the bear, now horribly misshapen and lumpy, its head lolled to one side. “Ray bought you that at the giftshop.” He tapped your chin. “Feel better, girlie.”

“Gee, thanks.” You motioned for him to come closer. "Come here, Pete. Gotta tell you something." 

He leaned in, a smug smile on his face. "Okay, what is it you w—Ow!" he yelped when you gave him a harsh wallop directly on his nose with the battered bear.

“Hey.” Winston walked into the room and yanked the bear from your hands. “YN, girl, beating the shit out of a Class XI demon wasn't enough violence for you today?” 

“Peter interrumpió nuestro primer beso.”

“What?!” Winston bristled. “Oh, hell no.” Winston handed you back the bear. “Kick his ass." 

Peter, who was groveling in the most theatrical position of fright he could muster, yelped out, "Ray, help! She’s going to kill me!" as Ray walked into the room.

Ray cocked his head. “Just move back a few feet. It’s not like she can run after you.” 

“That’s incredibly insensitive, Ray,” Peter said flatly, “and you better hope she doesn’t realize she could still throw things at me.” Peter turned his attention to Egon. “Egon, you only know English and Yiddish, right? Todavía no puedes hablar español, Spengler?" 

Ray waved his hand in front of Egon’s face, who remained unresponsive. “I think he’s stuck buffering. We might need to turn him off and back on.”

Peter snickered wickedly and began muttering something under his breath about "turning Egon on" and "YN in the jumpsuit" but was immediately silenced by Ray with a harsh smack to the back of his head.  

 “Alright, alright, serious now.” Peter turned his attention to you. “There’s a few ground rules that need to be laid down if you’re gonna start shagging up with my forever dearest bestest friend. 

“My Spanish is a bit rusty, so listen closely: Egon le encanta abrazar más que a Ray. Asegúrate de que reciba sus pastillas para gusanos corazón cada tres meses. Y a veces trata de comer cosas radiactivas o perforar un agujero en la cabeza 'por ciencias'. No dejes que haga eso.”

You turned to Egon. “You sometimes try to drill holes in your head?” 

Your voice broke his torpor and he shrugged. “Evidence for the preternatural benefits of trepanation dates back to paleolithic times.”

"Egon!" 

Ray’s face brightened. "Oh! Speaking of archaic social customs, did Peter give you the teddy I bought you?" 

"Yep!" You lifted up the bear at your side, its head laying lifeless against its chest. “I love him, Ray.” 

Ray gasped and gingerly took the bear from you, holding it like a fragile newborn. “Oh my god Peter, you killed him! How did you manage to break his neck from the elevator to here?!” 

Peter crossed his arms indignantly. “I couldn’t have broken his neck. He has no bones.”

“‘Couldn’t have broken his neck’? What do you call this?!” he exclaimed, shaking the bear and making its head rapidly helicopter around. 

“I call that collateral damage. Guess what I just saw Spengler doing? Smooching on our little buddy in the middle of this Catholic hospital.”

Ray gasped and whacked Egon across his face with the bear, almost knocking his glasses off. “You actually went through with it!” he beamed. “I’m so proud of you! I always thought you were gonna stay a coward.”  

Egon readjusted his glasses, unable to tell whether Ray’s comment was an insult or compliment, and settled for a simple nod. 

Peter narrowed his eyes and leaned close towards you, tilting your chin this way and that, scowling a bit. “Have you been crying lately?” 

“Um, yes? A demon broke some of my bones.” 

"Well, I didn't cry when a demon broke my bones the other day."

Ray bristled. "What? Yes, you did!"

Peter scoffed. "Okay, fine. I might've cried a little."

"You cried a lot!"

Peter threw his hands up. "You know what, Ray? Go break some bones and get back to me on the appropriate amount of crying. Here, let me help you." Peter seized Ray's collar with his uninjured hand and started violently shaking him.

Ray's response was a blank and unintelligible, "Wah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!” as his head bobbed back and forth. 

Winston quickly broke them up by smacking Peter with a rolled up magazine. Winston put his hands on his hips and shifted his weight a bit. “On the topic of violence, you were supposed to detain the demon, girlie, not beat the absolute shit out of it. We aren't the NYPD.”

“Wait a second,” Peter said, his face lighting up in his usual crooked smile whenever he came up with a bad idea. “I think they were onto something. We could start offering a deluxe specialty demonic cleansing service! It’d increase our revenue.”

Winston crossed his arms. “And how would that work, exactly?” 

“Easy! We do the calls the same way we always do, except on demon calls we bring along YN and give her a baseball bat.”

Winston laughed. “Sounds good to me.” 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☆.｡:*.｡.:*☆ ༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Ray always made a point to keep the old firehouse elevators in working order in the event that they would ever be needed, so you were able to easily travel around its various floors and lofts with your crutches. After the demons were captured, the calls that came through were incredibly minor and were easily handled with you and Peter staying in-house. 

Egon took every opportunity to initiate physical contact with you in any way he could: sidling up to you while you ran electrophoresis tests, wrapping his arms around you from behind while you prepared microscope slides, stealing a kiss on your cheek when he needed to borrow something from your desk. 

Egon had his head in your lap as the two of you idled on the squashy couch in the lab, sorting through several messy lab notebooks and charting statistics from your latest longitudinal experiment to be run through an analysis of variance.

You ran your fingers through his thick hair, lightly caressed the sides of his face. He smiled and tilted his head back, setting aside his papers to fully enjoy the attention. You bent down and planted a kiss on his brow. He looked up at you, his dark, tired eyes brimming with adoration. He reached up, gently cupping your face in his large hands, and pulled you in for a light kiss. After a moment he pulled away, delicately stroking your cheek with a calloused thumb.

“I love you,” you muttered. 

His mouth split into a wide grin. “Oh, shit,” he said teasingly. He kissed you again. “I love you, too.”

[cartoonfuel]

Chapter 3: Stupid New Girl

Mind Games (My Hero Academia)

Chapter 3: Stupid New Girl

See Chapter 1 for trigger warnings, rating, etc.

Chapter 4: I Like Her

~~~~~

UA was much smaller than you thought it was going to be. You’d figured it was going to be some glorified campus that appeared larger than most college campuses, being that it was the most prestigious hero academy in Japan.

You followed behind Nezu, beginning to hear more and more thoughts from strangers as you approached the building.

Why can’t I do math? It’s so simple!

I’m going to have a panic attack, these tests are the worst.

What the...? Seriously? This is the easiest exam I’ve ever taken.

This test is making me miss our midterm.

Yep, thoughts were flooding into your mind through the walls now.

“How are you doing?” Nezu asked, glancing over his shoulder at you. Hundreds of comments and thoughts were now flooding into your mind and being processed.

“I feel...very, um, distracted,” you stuttered, trying to get the words out.

“Don’t worry, we’re almost to the nurse’s office!”

Inside the school’s infirmary were two unconscious students and the school’s nurse. You felt a tug at your pant leg and looked down to see Nezu beaming at you once again. “Hawks informed me that your quirk doesn’t work on anyone who is unconscious. Is this true? He wasn’t certain, but he suspected it.”

“Yes, that’s true.” You worked hard to suppress the nearby nurse’s thoughts.

“Excellent! Then I hope you don’t mind the students we have resting in here?”

“No, not at all. I recognize one of them, actually. The Sludge Villain boy we spoke about earlier.”

“Yes, that’s Katsuki Bakugou. He’s gotten himself into a lot of trouble, lately. The other boy is Neito Monoma of Class 1-B. The two of them went a little too hard during one of their occasional combined trainings and ended up here.”

“I see.”

“Now we are not offering you a place in our school as a student, but your quirk is one we are greatly curious about. We hope that you are willing to meet some of the students and staff here, though we plan not to overwhelm you. You will get one, possibly two visitors, at a time. Do you have any questions?” You shook your head. “Wonderful! We will provide you with a school uniform momentarily. Again, you are not a student, but I’m sure it would be nice to get you out of those dirty street clothes and into something nicer.”

“I’ll wear whatever as long as I don’t have to put on another hospital gown.”

“Good deal!” Nezu exclaimed happily. “I have much business to attend to, so I’ll have our school nurse over there, Recovery Girl, get that uniform for you and make sure you’re comfortable. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask!”

“I do have a question, actually,” you chimed in just before he left. He came to a halt and spun around to face you. “What staff and students will be interviewing me about my quirk?”

“While I wouldn’t call your future interactions with the staff and students at UA ‘interviews,’ I will be sure to let you know who you’ll be meeting the moment I find out. We will be holding a staff meeting late this afternoon to discuss many issues and topics involving UA. I’ll be sure to bring your name up. Is there anyone in particular you would like to meet?”

“I’ve heard a lot about Izuku Midoriya,” you suggested. Nezu’s ears perked up in response to your words. He was clearly thinking hard about your suggestion, and it was rare moments like these where you wished you could read his mind. “I admire how he encouraged Shouto Todoroki to use his fire during the Sports Festival.”

“Ah, I get it! Yes, I know several people who can help you understand and properly utilize your quirk. I’ll be sure to talk to Mr. Aizawa about his students and their take on the situation. Maybe there’s even extra credit assignment potential involving your arrival to UA.”

You felt beyond special in this moment. After all, for the most part, you had detested your quirk since the moment it manifested.

~

I love you so much. If only—

“Awe, Mommy!” you had screamed, running up to hug her leg. “I love you, too!”

Your mom was all smiles until she realized that she hadn’t said she loved you, she’d only thought it. On top of that, she had been in the middle of doing dishes and, quite frankly, daydreaming about your father. You hadn’t been on her mind at all. “Oh, honey, I, um, that’s very sweet!” she said as she wrapped you up in her arms.

What the hell?

“Mom, that’s a naughty word!”

Your mom’s eyes widened. “Okay, this is happening. Sweetie, I think you may have developed a quirk...”

“You think? This is so exciting, Mommy!”

Even at six years of age, you knew neither of your parents had quirks. How you’d gotten a quirk was a mystery to you at the time, but not to your mother. Most quirks at this point in time were genetic, but they did happen to mutate randomly as well.

Later that evening, after your father had gotten home from work and you’d gone to bed, you awoke from a nightmare. Heart racing, you hopped out of bed and made your way down the hall to your parents’ bedroom. This was a fairly regular occurrence for you when it came to nightmares. Before you’d knocked on the door to go in, you began hearing your parents’ voices in your mind.

I can’t believe this.

I can’t believe this.

I’m not the father?

I’m sorry.

I’m not the father...

I’m so sorry.

How dare she.

I made a mistake.

She kept this a secret the whole time?!

I’m scared.

She deserves this!

I deserve this.

Damn woman!

Cheater!

I deserve this.

Damn her to hell!

I deserve this.

Damn that child, too!

I’m so sorry, Aya.

I’m so angry. So angry. I need to leave before I—screw it.

A lot of the words didn’t make any sense to you at all. Suddenly, you heard a loud thump on the other side of the door which sent you flying backwards and onto the floor.

The door swung open, your quirkless father staring down at you.

His thoughts mortified you.

“Guess what, Aya?” he said, a strange look in his eyes that you couldn’t identify. You nervously gulped, barely able to focus on his actual words. “For six years, I thought you were my little girl, but...you’re not my daughter at all!”

I wonder what her daddy’s quirk actually is?

Must have something to do with reading minds.

Or maybe her mom lied to me about that, too!

Can you understand me, Aya?

You were frozen.

Aya! Can you hear this? Answer me.

Hesitantly, you nodded. Where was your mom?

Damn her.

Your father grabbed you by the collar and lifted you off the ground.

Damn her!

Tears were streaming down his face.

Damn it!

After a couple more seconds, he appeared to calm down. He set you back on the ground and stumbled down the hallway without another word. Where were heroes when you really needed them?

You looked inside your parents’ room and found your mom lying face-down on the floor, her cellphone in hand. You poked your head back out into the hallway after hearing the front door open.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” you heard your dad screaming. “It was her! It was her, get off me!”

All in the same day, you acquired a quirk, your mother was sent to the hospital, and your father was taken into custody. The thoughts you heard throughout the following week echoed within your mind for months.

We need to keep her and her quirk away from villains.

Her mother isn’t responding.

Her quirk has potential.

Her mother is unstable.

The girl’s quirk will traumatize most children her age if she goes around reading minds.

Her mother has experienced serious head trauma.

It would be easy to use her...

What are we supposed to do with her?

Easy to manipulate her...

~

After putting your new uniform on, you began hearing the thoughts of Neito Monoma.

Arrogant...Class A...garbage...must...destroy...

He must have been waking up. Weird guy.

Hm. How odd...I’m definitely sensing a pair of eyes on me.

Monoma shot straight up in bed and turned to look at you.

“Who are you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. Before you could answer, the Sludge Boy rudely interrupted.

“Keep it down, dammit,” Bakugou snapped, rolling over onto his side.

Stupid new girl.

“I’m not stupid, Sludge Boy,” you growled, causing him to leap out of bed and glare at you.

“What was that, new girl?!” he shouted, cracking his knuckles.

Judging by the boy’s thoughts, Monoma was already considering punching the daylights out of Bakugou.

He was also trying to figure out your bra size.

“And stop staring at my chest, Monoma!” you screeched, throwing the nearest object at him—a clipboard.

Recovery Girl finally played a part in the commotion, raising her voice and silencing the boys. “That’s enough, all of you!” she hissed. They listened instantly, Monoma climbing back onto his bed and Bakugou stomping over towards a chair to sit in.

“So when can I go back to class?” Bakugou asked Recovery Girl, practically shouting.

“Whenever you feel up to it, young man,” the lady replied, returning to her computer.

“Well I feel fine, so then I’m out. Thanks for your help.” After sitting in his chair for not even ten seconds, Bakugou got back up and made his way towards the door. “Oh, and new girl?” You turned your attention towards him, working diligently to ignore Monoma’s disconcerted thoughts. “Call me Sludge Boy again and I’ll kill you.”

Dumb bitch.

You went into hysterics, not even trying to suppress your laughter. “That’s an empty threat, Sludge Boy,” you snickered. “You want to call me ‘dumb bitch’ to my face?”

Bakugou visibly stiffened, just before grunting and leaving the infirmary without another word. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He marched out of the room muttering the word “die” over and over.

“Whoa, you’re awesome!” Monoma exclaimed, walking up to greet you. “You can read minds!”

“Long story short, yes, I read minds. And yours is all over the place.”

“Oh, is it? I’m not so sure I know what you mean.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Well, I, too, need to return to class. Can I get your name?”

You nodded. “I’m Aya.”

“That’s a lovely name!” He reached out to shake your hand. You were about to take it, but his next thought caused you to freeze.

I wonder what her quirk feels like...

You raised an eyebrow. “What’s your quirk?”

“Oh,” Monoma said nervously. “It’s called Copy. It allows me to duplicate and use another person’s quirk after coming into physical contact with them.”

Damn. So much for that.

“You won’t want to copy mine,” you told him, grabbing his hand and shaking it. “My quirk’s unsettling, to say the least.”

“Ah. Well, I’m going to go back to class now. If you ever wish to see me again, I’m down the hall in class 1-B, the best class at UA!” You expected him to be lying, but according to his thoughts, he wholeheartedly believed that. “Goodbye for now, Aya! Oh, and I almost forgot. Call me Neito.”

With that, he exited the nurse’s office and left you alone with Recovery Girl.

A few painstaking hours passed by, though you had to admit you were thankful for the quietness of it all. Eventually, Recovery Girl went home for the night and Nezu returned with two extra visitors.

“I, the precious UA High principal, have returned!” the creature announced as he came into the room. “And I have brought you some friends!”

The first “friend” Nezu was referring to was a tall, muscular boy with blonde hair. His mere presence made you feel like you were wrapped in a warm blanket. The other person with them was a small girl who appeared to be younger than nine or so. Their levels of friendliness were almost polar opposite, with the little girl hiding behind the boy.

“Hi there!” the blonde exclaimed. “I’m Mirio Togata! And her down there? That’s Eri. We’re pleased to meet you!” After looking them up and down multiple times, the corners of your mouth slowly lifted...

...and you smiled.

~~~~~

Chapter 4: I Like Her

[anjuschiffer]

Dialogue Responses Masterlist - “I miss you” “Just a few more days, I promise” for jasonette / garmari

You ask and I shall give :D

Just a Few Days

Tags: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan @vixen-uchiha @nathleigh @startouchedqueen1318

(If you wanna be added to the perm taglist, don't hesitate to ask :D)

-

AO3 | Dialogue Prompt

“-and it got worse! Chat got covered in bird seeds right after and got swarmed by a bunch of birds!”

It’s been days since Jason had been able to properly call Marinette without having to worry about getting interrupted.

He was finally able to hear his girlfriend’s voice again in the form of her complaining about her hero life. 

“Is that so? I don’t think it was that bad from the sounds of i-”

“He’s allergic to feathers.”

“Oh.” Jason quietly spoke, bringing his binoculars closer to his face, making sure to keep his eyes on the target.

“My poor kitty,” Jason heard Marinette huff. “Thank goodness he didn’t get any injuries from-”

“Mari, could you… hold… for a minute?” Jason politely asked, adjusting himself against the window frame, careful to not drop the magazine he had already filled before getting there.

“Oh, um, sure.” 

Turning his comms off, Jason quickly loaded his gun and cocked it, carefully aiming at the set up he had finished placing a few hours earlier, waiting as his target’s car got close to it.

He didn’t spend an hour setting it up for nothing, after all. 

One, two-

Jason pulled the trigger and watched as the sound of crashing bricks filled his ears, listening as people screamed and ran in different directions. 

The car had toppled to its side and was now upside down, Jason watching as the people inside continued to scream as they attempted to crawl out. The flames continued to consume the damaged vehicle when a second explosion occurred, confirming his target’s death. 

Or at least, one of his targets. He had one more in hiding, though that wasn’t much of a problem. 

Jason soon packed his gear, quickly turning back his comm as he left the abandoned building. 

“As you were saying?” The silence he got back unsettled him, trying his best to not think the worst happened to Mari. 

He waited a while more. “Mari?” He heard her let out a warbling breath. 

“When?” Jason barely heard her question as he walked into the busy street, following the people running around, jogging to who-knows-where. A public perhaps to seek shelter.

“What?”

“When, when are you coming back?” Jason felt his heart twist at her voice, hearing the cracking at the edge of her words..

“Mari, you.” Jason let out a sigh as he decided to back into an alleyway, watching as the people continued to run down the street. “You know I don’t know when I’ll re-“

“You always say that.” Her voice warbled, Marinette trying her best to not burst out into tears. The lump in her throat was already a hassle to contain. “You always say you-”

“-never know how long the missions will last.” “-never know how long the missions will last.”

“I know.” Jason held in another huff that was daring to escape him.” “But you know that if knew when I’d be heading back, I would-”

“I know.” Marinette let out a sniffle. “It’s just…

I just want you here, by my side. I want to wake up every morning to see you at my side. For your face to be the first thing I see every moment. 

To have someone to take with me to the newest museum exhibits. 

To listen to your voice telling me that I can do it, to hear you tell me to take a break. 

To see a note on my lunch boxes saying ‘have a nice day’…

Jason…

I miss you.” A hiccup escaped her, Jason wishing he was by her side to be able to hug her. To be able to hold her and hold her as he’d lull her to sleep with the promise of everything was going to be fine. “I miss you so much, mi amore.”

“I miss you too, mon cheri.” Jason gripping his hold on his bag, just wishing he was back in Paris. 

Because goddamn it. 

He had promised to never let her worry about him and his job, because yes. Yes, she’s well aware of the type of job he has. The League’s personal hit man. “There isn’t a day that goes by in which I just beg for all of this to be over and just go back home. To our little loft, sitting by the window as I watch you crunch for a new collection or commission.

To be there whenever you have another nightmare about him and just-

I want to hold you in my arms again. 

I just want to be by your side, forever.” So with more resolve, he made himself a promise. “So just wait for me, Marinette. Just a few more days, I promise. Okay? You think you’d be able to-”

“Yes.” Was the answer. “I can wait a few more days.”

“Just a few more then.” He smiled.  “A few more days until I can go back home and never let you go, okay?”

“Stay safe, Jason.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

-

But by the time he managed to get back to her, he was too late.

As Jason gripped the box in his hand, he tried to process the words that left Marinette’s mouth. 

“I’m sorry, but…who are you?”

[deadwriter16]

This is for the bkg fanfic ask game: Kacchako fight and/or reconciliation

It is simple but it’s all I could think of..-

all good! a simple prompt is always good :)

ive never thought abt what a kcchko fight wld be like...i have a lot of bkdk fight ideas but not a lot for these two...but i came up with one in the end. this one is like just under 1k. i hope you enjoy!! <3

----------

It’s nine at night when Ochako finally gains the courage to knock on the door. It’s not that she’s scared, she just doesn’t want to knock on that door until she feels worthy of it. Her boyfriend is probably rubbing off on her, but his integrity is not a trait she wishes to be rid of.

Normally Bakugou would be asleep by now, but Ochako knows he stays up later when he’s upset for fear that the bad feelings might trigger nightmares. Bakugou has awful ones, and Ochako hates nothing more than waking up in the middle of the night to Bakugou tossing and turning, a don’t come, Deku, leaving his gasping lips. Hands trembling at the memories, Ochako sets her shoulders and knocks.

“Katsuki? It’s Ochako. Can I come in?”

There’s a muffled grunt from inside, which Ochako takes as the invitation inside that it is. Katsuki’s sitting against the pillows of his bed, fidgeting with a Deku stress ball she got him as a joke. Ochako laughs quietly at the sight; she loves moments when Katsuki isn’t angry. When he’s calm and soft, rhythmically squishing the stress ball with uncharacteristic tranquility.

Ochako hates that he’s only like this because of what she did. She knows Bakugou’s cycle of emotions: anger, then sadness, and then the calm before the storm starts once again. And Ochako has never longed more for the storm.

Ochako walks over to the bed and nudges Bakugou, who moves over so she can sit. She gingerly invites herself onto the bed, leaning back against the pillows and sighing. Ochako loves how secretly kind Bakugou is. Nowadays, at least. He’s really changed for the better, and nothing makes Ochako happier.

“Um, I wanted to say sorry,” Ochako starts, “for earlier.”

Bakugou just shrugs. “Ain’t your fault. You didn’t know.”

“Exactly, I didn’t know,” Ochako says, “I shouldn’t have assumed anything. That was really awful of me, and I’m so sorry I said all those things."

It’s their first big fight as a couple, too. Bakugou told her he’s going to visit his parents over the weekend, and Ochako had asked if she could come with. Bakugou had refused, immediately closing off and not explaining why he said no. Ochako had come to the baseless and wrong conclusion that Bakugou was ashamed of her, which escalated into a screaming match in the common room.

“You don’t know shit about my parents,” Bakugou had yelled, “I don’t fuckin’ want you to meet ‘em because of them, not ‘cause of you, dumbass!”

“How am I supposed to believe that?” Ochako had yelled back, “why are you so ashamed of me, Bakugou? Why are you ashamed that someone cares about you? Why are you so goddamn afraid of being vulnerable?”

“Because of my fucking parents,” Bakugou hissed, “because my old hag won’t let me be vulnerable under her goddamn roof, because that means I’m weak and being weak means I get hurt. So don’t act like you know shit about me.”

And then he’d walked out of the common room, and Ochako felt like shit. She went to Deku afterwards, who gave her a good scolding before telling her to give Bakugou some space and then offer a sincere apology. Ochako is so glad her best friend is the Bakugou-reader. She’s getting good at deciphering Bakugou herself, but having Deku around gives her a nice head start. So now here Ochako is, delivering her apology on Bakugou’s bed, unconsciously moving closer to him, seeking his warmth.

“I shouldn’t have fuckin’ yelled,” Bakugou insists, “it was my fault for gettin’ so pissed at you when you just didn’t know. Don’t blame yourself, ‘Chako.”

“But I shouldn’t have just assumed things like that!” Ochako argues, “I let my insecurities get the best of me, even though I know that you've never been ashamed of a damn thing in your life! When you choose to have something, you’re always proud of it. I know you’re proud of me, just like I’m proud of you. I should have realized there was something more going on with why you didn’t want me to meet your parents. Please stop insisting it was your fault, Katsuki. It was mine.”

Bakugou frowns, looking pained, “but-”

“Katsuki,” Ochako whispers, reaching out to place her hand on top of his, lacing their fingers together, “you are not always the one who hurts people. Sometimes, other people will hurt you. And you’re allowed to be mad at them for it. It’s not karma, you don’t deserve it. I was wrong. And you’re allowed to say that.”

Bakugou's frown deepens, and Ochako uses her free hand to smooth out the distress with her finger, watching as his expression crumbles under the touch. Sometimes it just breaks Ochako’s heart how foreign gentleness is to Katsuki.

“...Thanks,” Bakugou mutters under his breath, “I, uh, accept your apology.”

“I’m glad,” Ochako smiles, fully closing the distance between them to place her head on his shoulder. Bakugou wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and kissing the top of her head, resting his cheek on her hair. Ochako closes her eyes, relaxing into Bakugou’s warmth. “I love you, Katsuki.”

Bakugou doesn’t say it back much, and Ochako doesn’t expect him to. She’s getting close to fluent in her boyfriend’s language anyway, and she knows that his way of saying I love you too is in his actions. It’s in the way he holds her a little tighter, hooking a finger under her chin to lift her face up and bend down to kiss her. Ochako can’t help but sniffle a bit, because how did she get so goddamn lucky?

“How did I get so goddamn lucky?” Ochako says out loud, because she wants Bakugou to know how happy she is. For good measure, she leans up and kisses his cheek, letting her smile grow against his glycerin-smooth summer freckles.

Bakugou chuckles, soft and fond. “That’s my line, ‘Chako.”

[bonk003]

Resident evil Characters as texts between my friends part 2

TW FOR SOME DARK HUMOUR ?!?!?

——————————————————————————

Donna: I just saw a man get flogged.

Moreau: what

Alcina: Hardly

Bela: where

Donna: Outside the pub

Karl: hahahaha

Donna: I thought he was dead, honestly.

Alcina: Guys never punch someone and kill um I don’t want ye to go to prison

Alcina: unless it’s self defence.

Cassandra: where was this advice 20 mins ago when I flogged a man outside the pub.

Donna: I knew they looked familiar !

——————————————————————————

Cassandra: Daniela ❤️ willys

Daniela: Daniela thinks she’s a lesbian after it ❤️

Cassandra: oh my god discover yourself gal

Daniela: Give the homophobe a blowjob when your literally gay, such a power move on my end.

Bela: During pride month too

Daniela: oh my god literally

——————————————————————————

Karl: How can I wash the dishes when I can barely wash myself.

——————————————————————————

Miranda: are you still coming with us ?

Donna: We’re waiting outside just bring a jacket

Alcina: No. I’m not going because the rains out and that’s pretty homophobic of the rain

——————————————————————————

Bela: what time are ye both finished work ?

Daniela: I just got in the door

Cassandra: same

Bela: wanna drink a bottle of wine in your car, chat shit all while listening to sour.

Bela: also I think I have herpes but it could just be the spicy pizza I ate.

Cassandra: where’s the wine from

Bela: Lidl, €10 job but it’ll do

Daniela: ew

Bela: so yes or no ?

Cassandra: I’m already on my way

Daniela: me too

——————————————————————————

Bela: I have a streak on Snapchat with a fella who just killed him self.

Bela: it was such a high streak too I’m so odd

Daniela:

Cassandra:

Cassandra: girl

——————————————————————————

Donna: I’m cleaning out my wardrobe, might be a few things you might like.

Bela: show me

Donna: I have these pair of jeans there too big for me

Bela: stop calling me fat

Donna: oh my god I didn’t shut up bai

——————————————————————————

Cassandra: Bela is still in the shower. I need to go to the toilet so bad.

Alcina: that’s cause you called her smelly earlier she’s pure triggered.

Cassandra: yeah well if she’s not out in 3 mins I’m gonna shit in her laptop and close it.

——————————————————————————

Cassandra: *sends a picture of her new tattoo*

Bela: your tattoo is ugly

Bela: nice^*

Cassandra: kill yourself

Bela: already tried

Daniela: why do you think her mam keeps a lock on the medicine cabinet 💀

——————————————————————————

Moreau: I was out last night and had to piss in an alley I felt so violated.

Karl: I do that all the time

Moreau: you disgust me.

——————————————————————————

Daniela: Nannas being racist on Facebook.

Alcina: oh for fucks sake again

Bela: why are you still friends with her on it I blocked her months ago

Cassandra: I have her posts snoozed

[a-lockman5]

Things were different now Pt. 3 - Happy to Help {Devi and Paxton}

A/n: as usual, I don’t own these characters, but I love them. This continues to follow the timeline I initially wrote so it does not coincide with season 2 at all. Paxton is a 17 year old with feelings, not a 10 year old before puberty… I hate proofreading so if it’s awful, apologies. Umm… so sorry it’s a year late.. and honestly, I kinda hate parts of it, but here we are nonetheless. Hope you like it!

Warnings: fluff, angst, phobias, I think that’s it.

Part one, Part two

Don’t forget to check out my Masterlist!

“Hey, baby,” Ben greeted her in a sing-song voice.

“Morning, Ben,” Devi replied as Ben laid a kiss to her cheek, and took the seat next to her.

“Why didn’t you come by for breakfast this morning?” he asked.

Devi felt her eyes grow wide momentarily. She had been going to Ben’s for breakfast before school all last week, telling her mom they were studying. It wasn’t a formal date though, and she hadn’t thought to plan an excuse. “Uh…” she scrambled, feeling the room close in as people filled the desks behind and on her other side. “I’m not feeling well,” she lied. “I overslept.”

She averted her gaze from Ben to dig a pencil out of her backpack from where it sat on the floor to her right. When she tried to unzip her pencil holder though, it got stuck and she flung it, one-handed, onto the floor. As she reached down to grab it, the person sitting next to her reached down to help too, and when she looked up, Paxton was grinning back at her.

“Morning, Vishwakumar. Long time, no see.”

Devi tried to swallow past a large lump in her throat. “Morning, Paxton,” she returned hesitantly, noting his hair was still damp and that it added curl to his hair that usually he used product to tame.

Devi had her first swim lesson with Paxton that morning before school. It’s not that she was hiding it from Ben, her boyfriend. It was just that she didn’t feel ready to tell him about it… so yeah, she was hiding it from him. Not because of Paxton though! She was hiding it because of her.

Not even Devi’s mom knew how afraid she was of being in the water since her paralysis was triggered. Prior to that, she loved swimming. It was the only sport she was at all inclined to and she even considered trying out for team sophomore year until she went crazy and lost her legs.

She tried to move past it. Well, kind of. Her physical therapist thought aquatic therapy may help strengthen and facilitate the functional return of her legs. Instead, it resulted in her screaming and hyperventilating in Dan’s arms as he struggled to get her back to the lift out of the pool. Devi begged Dan not to tell her mom about her newfound fear and promised she would discuss it with Dr. Ryan. Her physical therapist agreed, and Devi never mentioned it to anyone again. Until Paxton.

“You want to swim?” He repeated back, puzzled as they sat on the couch in the garage. “I’ve seen you swim.”

“When?”

“Your freshman year…” he trailed off as realization dawned on him.

Devi didn’t know Paxton had any idea who she was until she propositioned him at the beginning of school this year. He remembered her from the year before? He remembered her before she lost her legs?

“Yeah… I haven’t been able to since…”

“So when you fell in the pool at Gross’s party…?” Paxton filled the silence for her.

“I’m really glad you pulled me out otherwise it would have gotten way more embarrassing,” she admitted.

She saw his jaw clench before his next question, “Why didn’t your friends help you?”

“Um…” she took a deep breath to muster the courage up to tell him, “they don’t know… nobody knows.”

And then he gave her that same deep, calculated look. The look he gave her when they were in his car so many weeks ago. The look he gave her before they kissed. Before he kissed her.

He agreed instantly after that. And things went mildly well that morning. She wasn’t able to get in the water, so instead, she sat next to the edge of the pool and watched Paxton swim for awhile and then they talked.

She was surprised by how patient Paxton had been with her especially since she dragged him out of bed earlier than necessary. He told her it was a process though, and he agreed to help her through it. Her heart felt full when he said that. She probably would have read too far into it in the past, but things were different now.

Devi knew she would have to tell Ben eventually that she was spending so much time with Paxton, but she just didn’t want him to overreact. He knew how much she had pined for Paxton before they started dating, and even though she and Paxton were friends only now, it wouldn’t change the threat he posed in her boyfriend’s mind.

you and PHY seem awfully chummy - Fab

Devi looked over her shoulder at her friends after reading Fabiola’s text message. Both Fab and Eleanor were giving her pretty pointed looks, and Devi just responded with a grimace and raised eyebrows. This whole friends thing sounded so easy with Paxton when they were sitting on his couch in the middle of the night. No one else was around, no one could pass judgment. Things were going to be a little harder in practice.

Fortunately, class was pretty uneventful. Mr. Shapiro started a new unit, they went over the lesson, and they were dismissed. Devi gathered her things quickly and hurried out of the room without waiting for her friends, her boyfriend, or Paxton. Of course, Paxton was her friend, so she didn’t know why she listed him in his own category.

“Hey,” the object of her musings appeared beside her locker.

Devi jumped at the sound of his voice, but managed to somewhat recover. “Hey, what’s good, playa?”

Paxton smirked at her with warm eyes. “Just wanted to check on you now that it’s been a couple hours.”

“Oh! Honestly, I feel good. Watching you actually helps me calm down,” she said before realizing how it sounded. “I mean, not that I just watch you, but I mean, watching you swim… it’s nice to see how you glide through the water… it’s like a white noise machine.”

“Right,” Paxton replied slowly after a beat. “Well you should come by today after school. I have an idea.”

She nodded as he walked away down the hall. Before Devi’s imagination could get the better of her though, her friends replaced Paxton in her line of vision.

“What is going on?” Fabiola asked bluntly.

“Yeah, are you and Paxton hooking up behind Ben’s back?”

“What? Of course not!” Devi was outraged. How could they think she would do that? “Paxton is my friend.”

“Since when?”

“Yeah, last thing we knew, you went there for dinner for his sister and it got hella weird,” Eleanor added. “What gives?”

Devi had not shared the one on one conversations she and Paxton had with her friends. Sure, the initial apology after dinner would probably be okay. Having a drink with Paxton in the garage at 2 o’clock in the morning after catching him in his underwear with an erection? No, there was no good way to relay that encounter.

“Um..” Devi hesitated. She couldn’t tell them the truth now after hiding her fear for so long, and then telling Paxton before telling them. They’d think she was a bad friend. “I’m tutoring him,” she lied. “Yeah, he’s got to get his grades up to meet the minimum for Stanford swimming to offer him a scholarship so I’m helping him.”

“Does Ben know?” Eleanor asked as Devi’s phone pinged in her pocket.

She pulled her phone out and read the message from Paxton, don’t forget to bring your suit ;), and she felt her cheeks heat up. “No,” she told Eleanor absentmindedly. “No, he doesn’t know.”

“Well, are you going to tell him?” Fabiola prodded.

Devi shook herself out of her daze and really heard her friends’ questions. “No, not right now. You guys know he would freak out if he knew Paxton and I were spending time together no matter how platonic. I’ll tell him eventually but everything is still so new, I don’t want to wreck it.”

Her friends’ judgment was evident, but Devi couldn’t let that bother her. Paxton was helping her confront one of her deepest fears, and she didn’t need to feel guilty about that. Instead, she chose to focus on making the most of her time with Paxton and enjoying their friendship while hopefully ridding her of her phobia.

Devi knocked briefly before letting herself into the Hall-Yoshida garage. It was empty and so she dropped her bag and plopped down onto the couch. It was almost funny, Devi thought. Things were so different now. A few months ago, she was terrified entering this space. She’d freaked, cut her leg open and bolted. Even the last time she’d been here, she’d tried to quietly reflect and calm her nerves after having one of her sexual fantasies manifest in the form of actually seeing Paxton Hall-Yoshida in his underwear with a boner. Now, she just comes right in and —

“Make yourself at home,” Paxton’s voice broke her from her thoughts.

She intended to make a sarcastic retort, but was caught off guard by him being in swim trunks already, and not the tight spandex trunks he wore for the swim team. No, these were normal, red and black trunks. They were entirely less revealing, outside of showing off his muscled chest, but they weren’t a uniform. Something about Paxton being voluntarily half naked and not bleeding from the hand had Devi looking at him dumbly from across the room.

“Devi, you good?” He asked cautiously, coming to sit next to her.

Her gaze trailed down from his collarbone to his pecs, to his abs, to his… her eyes grew wide as she realized she was openly ogling him. She snapped her eyes back to his to find him grinning at her.

“Everything okay?” He asked again. She nodded dumbly in response. “Good. Why don’t you go change? I have an idea that may work to start.”

“Okay, I’ll go change in the bathroom and meet you back here?”

“Nah, just come out to the back yard.”

Completely disrobed in the bathroom, Devi had another decision to make. Two suits. She brought two bathing suits with her both that morning and in the afternoon. She hadn’t even bothered to change before class that morning because just entering the aquatic center was enough to bring her near hyperventilation. She couldn’t do that again, and to be fair, if Paxton had a pool, it was news to Devi. And she asked him to help her swim. If that’s what she really wanted, then she needed to trust Paxton and let him help her. That meant she had to choose: black, Speedo one-piece or bubble gum pink bikini?

“Why’d you even bring both, Devi?” She asked her reflection.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to answer that question. She knew things were different now. She was dating Ben, and Paxton was her friend. That was her choice… it was just a much easier choice to make when she and Paxton weren’t speaking to each other. If she was honest, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Paxton since their middle of the night encounter last week. He was right when he said they had come a long way. She had come a long way, becoming more comfortable around him, and seeing him on an equal level versus the Adonis pedestal she placed him on in the past. Then he became real.

Paxton became more than the unattainable sex god that riddled her darkest fantasies. He became someone she could talk with, laugh with, open up to. He became her friend. Her friend that was still a sex god that riddled her darkest fantasies… these were the thoughts that had her leaning toward the far more revealing bikini for their lesson that afternoon.

She had a boyfriend though, a boyfriend she very much liked. Sure, she and Ben were unkind to each other in the past. He had routinely referred to her by a boy’s name, called her unfuckable, and yeah, he started the rumor that she faked her paralysis freshman year. She played her own role in their antagonistic relationship though, and all that was behind them anyway. Ever since his party, Ben had been much nicer to her. Of course, that was including when he tried to kiss her while still dating Shira… but obviously, that was because he had feelings for her that when he was sober, he wasn’t ready to confront yet. He had been there for her like no one else had. He deserved a good girlfriend. That was Devi’s last thought on the subject before donning the black athletic one piece.

The first thing Devi saw when she stepped onto the patio made her heart catch in her throat. A hot tub. It was too big. It was too much. Too much. She couldn’t get in a hot tub. It was already way too hot, Devi thought, feeling the air get thicker around her. Her throat felt constricted and she wondered how anyone was as able to breathe in these conditions. It felt impossible.

“Devi! Are you okay?” She heard Paxton ask faintly.

Her head began shaking back and forth frantically, but she didn’t feel like she was the one controlling it. Instead, it was moving of its own accord, and her voice didn’t sound like her own when she said, “I can’t get in the hot tub.”

Two strong hands grasped her waist and physically turned her so her back was to the offending item. It was then she saw Paxton. His eyes searched hers desperately before a hand came to cradle her face. She immediately felt herself relax into his touch just enough that she could take a breath.

“Hey, you’re okay. I got you,” he cooed. “I know you’re not ready for that, and that’s okay. Just take a deep breath.”

She still felt like she was gulping for air, but her body melted into his as he pulled her in for a hug. They just stood like that until she could regain control of her breathing. When she did, Paxton gently released her and Devi was honestly surprised by how disappointed she was to not be in his arms any longer.

“You good?” He asked cautiously. She nodded sheepishly. “Cool. Let’s get away from this so you can see what I have set up for you.”

She nodded again and let him take her hand to lead her deeper into the backyard. When she saw it, she couldn’t believe the relief that flooded her.

“A slip n slide?” She huffed out.

“A slip n slide!” He dropped her hand to raise his arms victoriously. “I looked up some stuff about phobias and I think it’ll help. It’s called exposure treatment. We’ll start slow and work your way up.”

“You researched phobias?”

“Well, yeah,” he nodded. “And I’ll be here for you the whole time.”

Devi felt herself smile. Paxton really took the time to try to figure out how to help her. No throwing her in the deep end of the pool, but actually holding her hand through this. Being by her side while they figured it out together. She couldn’t believe how lucky she felt to have him in her life at that moment.

It wasn’t a very fancy slip n side, most likely he’d had it in the shed since he and Becca were kids. It was still in good shape though and he’d placed it over a decline at the end that allowed for pooling of water. He had the hose running and ready, but when they stepped up to the start, it became infinitely more intimidating.

As though he could sense her apprehension, Paxton said, “how about I go first, and then you can try?”

She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat in order to respond. When she wasn’t successful, she nodded. Paxton gave her a weak grin, and reached out to squeeze her shoulder. It was probably a measure of reassurance, and it worked for a moment, but the minute his touch was gone, her nerves settled in again.

“Okay, so you want to get a running start so you go faster through the slide,” he told her, taking four to five steps back. “You ready?”

“Ready,” she choked out after a beat of silence.

Paxton took off, and dove smoothly onto the track. Devi felt her anxiety melt away as he slid down the track on his stomach. It was almost like watching his perfect strokes through the water, and something about watching him made her forget her fear. Then he crashed into the small wading pool at the end of the slide, and just like that Devi’s breath was stuck in her throat again, and it felt like a bucket of ice water was dumped over her head.

When Paxton stood up, he immediately sought her gaze for eye contact. Just as quickly, he seemed to notice how her panic rose again.

“Devi,” he called down to her. “You can do this, okay? Don’t think about the water, just focus on me.” She could feel how wide her eyes were and her mouth was starting to dry out as it hung open, but Paxton’s encouragement started to wear her down when he said, “Come to me, Devi. I got you.”

She took a steadying breath and barely nodded before stepping a few paces back like Paxton had. Paxton continued to cheer her on and beckon her to his open arms as she fought her body to cooperate with her. Finally, after another deep breath, Devi let out a guttural scream, her war cry, and ran toward the slide. She slid onto her stomach much like Paxton had and did not have the good sense to close her mouth until it was filled with hose water. It got her choked up again and it was difficult to catch her breath, but just as quickly as she started, she was plunged into the wading pool. Before she had a chance to panic-swallow more water, Paxton’s strong arms hauled her to a standing position and she collided with his chest in a tight hug.

“You did it!” He whispered triumphantly. “You did great, I’m so proud of you.”

“I did it,” she breathed, arms clutched tightly around his shoulders as though he would disappear if she let go. “I did it,” she repeated, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Devi and Paxton worked with the slip n slide for three more weeks, and it was amazing how quickly she was improving. Each time, Paxton was there to catch her at the end of the slide, and she grew more confident with each trip.

“So do you have plans this weekend?” Paxton asked, passing her a towel.

“Probably just studying for the history test,” she replied, drying her hair gently.

“With Gross?”

They hadn’t talked about Ben at all during their sessions. She had also skirted the issue of spending so much time with Paxton by telling her boyfriend that she’d been assigned a new student to tutor. She didn’t tell him it was Paxton. Things had been calm the last few weeks despite how crazy the first months of the semester had been. If she was honest, she hadn’t spent much time with or thought much about Ben that week at all. Things were going so well with Paxton and their sessions that she spent most of her time looking forward to the next time she’d be in his backyard in her bathing suit.

“Uh.. I don’t know. Probably him, Fab, and Eleanor, I guess,” she told him. “Or by myself. I don’t really have anything planned.”

“Would you…” he trailed off quietly before finding his voice again. “Would you maybe want to study here… with me?”

Devi felt herself smile. “Sure, I mean, my friends think I’m tutoring you anyway so that would make sense.”

“What?”

She breathed through another smile at how his brow furrowed, but rolled her eyes at herself before answering him. “I had to have a reason for why we’re talking so much more at school… so I told them I was tutoring you.”

Paxton’s head dropped as he huffed out a laugh. “You’re really good at lying, huh?”

“No! I just… get nervous about how people will react to stuff so sometimes it’s just easier to say something else.”

He nodded. “Well, you better tutor me then. ‘Cause if I fail this test, your whole story falls apart,” he said taking a step closer to her.

“Maybe you just don’t listen to me,” she grinned.

He took another step forward, this time into her personal space. “Impossible,” he countered, “have you met you?”

Devi’s smile grew before she realized how close Paxton really was to her. It wasn’t his actual proximity. They’d been closer physically than ever in these recent weeks, but something felt different that time. She could feel the heat radiating off of him and there was electricity in the air. He seemed to feel it too, and shook himself free before taking the towel back from her. That only allowed him to take in the full view of her from top to bottom, forcing Devi to close her eyes so she didn’t feel the full force of his gaze.

She heard Paxton swallow, then clear his throat, and then he took a step back. Devi chose then to meet his gaze, and found the same calculating look she’d now seen a total of three times. He had a depth she hadn’t previously credited him with. Now that she’d seen it, it was hard to ignore.

“Uh.. yeah, I think we could study together.”

Paxton grinned crookedly at her. “Cool,” he licked his lips before changing the subject. “Why don’t you go ahead and change, and then I’ll take you home.”

“That’s okay, I can I walk.” Devi said quickly. “I mean, I’d like to walk. Helps me clear my head.”

“Oh.. okay.”

Devi didn’t feel like she took another breath until she was shut in the bathroom of the Hall-Yoshida residence. Was Paxton really flirting with her? Did he really check her out like she thought he had? She’d been so wrong about so many of their encounters in the past, but… he did kiss her. Paxton Hall Yoshida was her first kiss and it was only a couple months ago. Maybe he really liked her. Maybe they —

A text message on her phone cut off her internal rambling. When she read it, her breath caught in her throat again:

Why are you at Paxton’s?

Fuck. Ben.

How could she forget about Ben? Here she was going down the Paxton rabbit hole again when she had Ben, her actual boyfriend. Things were different now though. She wasn’t sure exactly when they changed, but she knew they had.

She quickly typed out a response and then changed into her dry clothes.

***

“So Paxton is the student you’re tutoring?

“Uh.. yeah, kinda,” Devi told Ben. “Paxton is my friend, but I am helping him study.” It wasn’t technically a lie anymore now that they’d made plans for Saturday.

“Anything else you want to tell me?”

“What are you accusing me of, Ben?”

“Obviously, I’m the only one committed to this relationship. You’re still just drooling over some dick that wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.”

Devi scoffed, as the wind left her sails. She knew Ben would be hurt, and she expected him to be jealous that she was spending time with Paxton. She didn’t expect him to say Paxton wouldn’t want anything to do with her. She didn’t expect him to imply that she wasn’t good enough for Paxton. Like Ben was doing her some great, big favor by dating her. Once a UN, always a UN, she guessed.

“You know, I came here ready to explain myself, ready to apologize. Maybe you’re right though. Maybe you’re the only one committed to this relationship. God knows, I don’t want to be in a relationship where it’s okay to talk to me like that.”

Ben’s eyes widened, and Devi watched the color drain from his face. “No, Devi, I didn’t mean” —

“You didn’t mean to, not accuse me of cheating on you, but instead, accuse me of so desperately wanting to cheat on you that I would be the lap dog to a different guy?”

Devi really thought Ben deserved an explanation. That was why she went to his house. She realized though, she didn’t owe him anything. Ben had been the constant ignition to Devi’s insecurities. She thought that would stop when they became boyfriend and girlfriend, but no. Instead, he wanted to keep them together by making her feel unwanted by anyone else. She knew better though.

“Devi” —

“You are seriously the textbook ‘nice guy,’ aren’t you?” She air quoted. “Well, I don’t need any of that. I think we’re done here.”

Ben is canceled.

Devi felt oddly satisfied when she sent the text to Fabiola and Eleanor. She thought she would feel guilty after their encounter, but honestly, she felt liberated. Ben had been there for her when no one else was, and he showed that he cared about her. Still, when confronted with the idea that she may want to spend time with someone else, he immediately turned on her. Red flag. Big red flag.

Her friends immediately made plans to have a sleepover at Eleanor’s the following night. They wanted all the details. When Devi happily supplied them, they encouraged her as enthusiastically as she expected.

“Yes, girl,” Eleanor cried, giving her snaps when she told them she wouldn’t let Ben talk to her that way.

“You’re a strong, independent woman, and you don’t need some small little white boy trying to keep you down,” Fabiola bolstered.

“Thanks, guys. That brings me to my next problem though.” And for the first time, she told her friends about when she and Paxton kissed, how her mom had yelled at them the next day and called Paxton stupid, and how he’d left her a voicemail because he’d come to see her while she was in Malibu with her family. They were shocked to say the least.

“So what’s your problem?”

“Wondering exactly how long the pole is that Paxton would touch you with?” Eleanor asked suggestively.

Nope, that is definitely not the issue, Devi thought as she recalled seeing Paxton in his underwear. No, she knew exactly how big a tent that pole could support. The question was, was she misinterpreting their relationship?

“No… I mean, do you think he could like me?”

“Well, he definitely liked you enough to kiss you, but you also chose Ben over him,” Fabiola recapped. “That’s a tough blow.”

“But he wants to spend time with Devi anyway,” Eleanor argued. “I mean, you guys have study sessions almost every afternoon.”

“Right,” Devi trailed off as she considered her encounters with Paxton since she and Ben started dating. How he’d been respectful of her relationship, never once putting Ben down or asking why she had decided to go out with him. She thought about what a good friend he’d been of late with their sessions. She thought about how close she felt to him, and how she wasn’t exaggerating their closeness like she had at the beginning of the school year. She didn’t need to dress up or fabricate the things he said or did to her anymore. Everything was really happening.

“Do you want us to come tomorrow and assess the situation?”

Devi considered Eleanor’s offer, but finally shook her head. “No, I think this is one I have to sort out myself.”

***

“Alright, who coined the term ‘Cold War’ in the British press in October 1954?” Devi asked, looking up at her companion.

“I don’t know… Russia?”

Her eyes narrowed. “No, George Orwell. You’re right, my reputation as a nerd and the best tutor in school is on the line.”

“Shut up, this stuff’s hard. We’re not all Devi Vishwakumar,” he bumped her with his elbow.

“You’re smart too though. How did you know all that stuff about Hinduism or phobias?”

“That’s different. That’s interesting stuff.”

Devi felt her cheeks heat up, and chose to stare at her textbook. Would Paxton find those things interesting if they weren’t directly related to her? Was it his way of saying that she was interesting or important to him? She chanced a glance toward him to see him was also very deliberately staring at his book. She briefly wondered why before he looked up sharply and slapped his knee.

“I guess we have a lot to get through then if we’re going to save your rep. Better get to it.”

“Yeah… for sure,” she said slowly before continuing to quiz him.

A couple hours, some poptarts and pizza rolls later, they had significantly improved Paxton’s knowledge of the subject matter. They both were thrilled with his progress.

“Okay, let’s come full circle,” Devi said. “Who coined the term ‘Cold War?’”

“George Orwell… in the British press… in 1954,” he finished sitting back in his chair confidently.

“Yes! Good job, dude. You picked up on this stuff, no problem!” She smiled.

“Well, you’re a good teacher,” he smiled back, leaning forward.

“You’re a good student,” she told him, biting her bottom lip and leaning forward towards him.

Paxton glanced at her lips briefly before licking his own. She thought, this was it. He was going to kiss her. Instead, Paxton blinked, his eyes staying closed a little longer than normal, and sighed before scooting his chair away from the table.

“Uh.. my parents won’t be home from work for a few hours, and Becca is at a friend’s house if you want to hangout some more,” he suggested, rubbing the back of his neck. “We could drag the slip n slide out?”

Devi smiled. “Umm… I think I’m ready for the next challenge.”

“Yeah?” Paxton asked disbelievingly. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I want to try.”

“Alright,” he smiled with a nod. “I’ll get changed and we’ll head out there.”

Once Devi was closed in the bathroom again, she pulled her suit out of her bag. Pink bikini, don’t fail me now.

After a quick change, and plucking any stray hairs, Devi opened the bathroom door to see Paxton waiting on the other side. Her confidence faltered as he took in her appearance. His brow nearly disappeared into his hairline, and she noticed him swallow before exhaling slowly.

“Is this okay?” She asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, totally okay,” he responded, finally meeting her eye. “I, uh, wanted to walk you out so we could avoid as strong a reaction as last time… We’re in this together, right?”

She nodded, appreciating his support. Together.

It seemed like such a good idea before. Before she was standing in front of a large container filled with water. Water that she would have to submerge herself in.

Already drowning in her own fear, Devi didn’t hear Paxton talking to her until she felt him take her hand.

“Hey, Devi,” he called, waving his other hand in her face. “Can you hear me?”

She blinked longer than usual to clear her head before finding his gaze again. “Yeah, sorry. I was just spiraling.”

“Listen, you don’t have to do this right now. There’s no pressure, okay?”

“I know,” she nodded, licking her lips apprehensively. “I want to do this. You won’t leave me, right?”

He smiled. “We’re in this together, Vishwakumar.”

With that, she carefully made her way up the steps, and stepped into the hot water. Paxton held her hand the whole way. The best part of using the hot tub? The heat further distracted her from her fear that she didn’t even realize Paxton was touching her for a moment. It wasn’t until she was sitting down and should have been relaxing that her anxiety began to spike again.

“Hey, breathe, okay? I’m right here,” Paxton’s hand slipped from hers to wrap around her shoulders.

Without thinking, without meaning to, Devi dropped her head into the crook of Paxton’s neck. Her arms clung to his waist desperately, willing her breathing to level out. She felt Paxton’s other arm come around to encircle her, and it had the very calming effect she assumed he intended. As her breathing returned to a normal pace, Devi found she felt almost sleepy. She felt warm, not because of the water, but inside. It was like her body was humming, like everything was fuzzy. She let out a deep sigh of relief, and felt Paxton shift slightly against her.

“Are you okay?” He whispered. She wondered if he could feel how peaceful things were in that moment. No, he probably just wanted to make sure she hadn’t passed out.

“Yeah,” she breathed. “This helps.”

“Yeah? Like watching me helps?”

“I can’t explain it, and I know it doesn’t make any sense especially because I’m such a disaster when we talk,” she rambled before taking a steadying breath, “but watching you, touching you, calms me down.”

Paxton took a shaky breath, and Devi pulled back slightly to look at him. His eyes were closed, cheeks flushed. She loved seeing him like this. Vulnerable, as though she affected him as much as he affected her. This time, she thought, I’ll kiss him.

Before Devi could lean forward, Paxton abruptly put space between them. One hand remained on her shoulder, but his head was hanging his eyes were closed.

“Devi,” he started before letting out a long sigh, “I am trying so hard. I mean, I love spending time with you and I want to be here for you. I want to be a good friend to you, but you’re killing me.”

“What?”

“You have a boyfriend,” he replied emphatically. “I don’t really know why, but you do. And all this,” he gestured between them, “feels a lot like cheating, and I’m not down for it.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” the words came tumbling out, “no, no, no. No, that’s on me. Paxton” —

“Devi, I like you,” he cut her off. “Not in the ‘I want to reinstate our sex agreement’ way, but like, I really like you. I hate studying! But you make it fun. I love the way you spit out that first five thoughts that pop into your head at any given moment. I love that you trust me to tell me your deepest fear that no one else knows, and I love that we’ve been able to work through it together. I don’t know if I can do this anymore though.”

“Sorry I didn’t interrupt, you really seemed like you were on a roll, but,” she paused to take another deep breath, “I don’t… have a boyfriend anymore.”

“What?”

“Things are different now. I broke up with Ben two days ago, and… I really like you too. I never wanted just sex from you. I just never thought we’d be here right now.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend?”

She shook her head, shyly looking down at the water. Her bottom lip found it’s way between her teeth, barely suppressing her smile. She felt his hand slip from her shoulder and snake it’s way around her waist. She looked up as he pulled her body into his so close that their breath mingled.

“Should we make another toast?” She asked nervously.

His forehead pressed against hers as he laughed. When he regained his composure, he looked in her eyes warmly. “Later.”

And for the second time, Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s lips were on hers, and it. was. electric. Somehow, it was even better than the first time. She felt everything else melt away, and it was just the two of them floating through space. Nothing else mattered for that moment. She wasn’t sure when she ended up in his lap, but she wound her arms around his neck all the same before her hands found his curly hair. Under other circumstances, she may have worried that her own hair had become so frizzy that he wouldn’t find her attractive. She realized though, she didn’t have to worry about that. No, as Paxton gripped her hips tighter, she knew very well that he was attracted to her.

This was everything she ever wanted, except it was better. Paxton’s hand came up to cradle her face as his tongue massaged hers in a way that made her spine tingle. Devi was so engrossed in having the greatest moment of her life, she didn’t hear the back door open.

“Wooooo!” Becca hollered as they jumped apart. “Finally!”

“Becca, get out of here!” Paxton yelled, splashing his sister. She laughed, making a comment about being safe as she went back inside.

“So… your sister’s home,” Devi said. They sat awkwardly for a moment before both breaking into a fit of laughter.

“Yeah, mood ruined, I guess.”

“Well, I know one thing: this is the happiest I’ve felt in any body of water in a year.”

He huffed out a laugh, eyes finding his lap before meeting her gaze again. “Happy to help.”

<< Part 2

[moral-turpitudes]

Silver Linings: Part 1

Masterlist | Rules | Peaky Prompts

A/N: Excuse any of my terrible math skills and if this seems rushed. This is the best I could come up with lol, I hope you all like it though!

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Slight Fighting, Descriptions of Drug Use, Drinking, Familial Drama, Fluff, Mentions of Adoption, etc.

Word Count: 3,972

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Adopted Daughter!Reader + Michael Gray x Alfie’s Adopted Daughter!Reader

Summary: After growing tired of hiding, Y/N decides to venture out from the back of her fathers shop, not knowing she’d quite literally fall for one of her father’s enemies who happened to be lurking around the corner. But with tensions growing between the two families, one decision could change the course of their lives as they know it, for better and for worse.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | *Part 4* | Part 5

“Alright Y/N, now when you aim you gotta line yer eyes up with the sight. Take a deep breath, and on that exhale of yours yer gonna pull that little trigger right there.” Alfie said, the teenage girl only coming up to around his chest, her hands shaking slightly as she aimed the small hand gun for one of the flour sacks in the back of the shop. With a small exhale she fired, the bullet whirling through the air and into the target she’d helped draw on it the day before.

“See that’s not so hard innit?” He asked, smiling at the new light in his life.

Y/N heard her father calling for her upstairs, bringing her out of her daydreams from years ago. That was during the first week she’d lived with him after he adopted her from the nearby orphanage. She had no adoptive mother, and no other friends except their dog Cyril, seeing as she had to be practically hidden away on a daily basis. The only time she really went out was to work in her fathers shop, where she’d do her best to avoid being spotted by her fathers business partners-some of which who had strained relationships with him and his men.

Shaking the memory from her brain, she hesitantly walked up the stairs, the creaking of the wood announcing her arrival.

“There you are love. Listen...I’m having Mr. Shelby come by soon so you’ll have to work in the back alright? I know you’ll get me for it later but I’ll make up for it mmkay?” He said, looking his now 21 year old daughter in the eyes. People often found him intimidating, but over the years she grew used to him, knowing deep down he was a sweet person. With every interaction she observed, she could see the pain in his eyes over not being able to really introduce her, knowing it would put her at risk. But deep down there was a mutual understanding between them that it was going to be inevitable that someone would find out, but neither of them thought it would be so soon.

With a sigh, she reluctantly walked towards the back where the other “bakers” worked the ovens and inspected shipments. While she organized bricks of cocaine for shipment, she felt her stomach drop as she realized she’d left her gloves in the front of the shop. She often hated the texture of the bricks as she packed them away, the fabric gloves being her only solace when she was given the task.

Swallowing hard, she nervously crept around the corner, eyeing Thomas Shelby and some of the other blinders in her fathers office as she continued, not noticing the man she collided with as she stumbled back slightly.

“Oi! I’m so sorry sir...wasn’t even fuckin’ looking.” She said, brushing a stray hair from her face and tightening her apron around her waist.

“No problem love, you alright?” He asked, looking concerned as he adjusted his well tailored suit.

“Y-yeah. Just looking for my gloves. I have to go.” She said, knowing she wasn’t supposed to be out for long while the blinders were there, yet trying to not look the dashing man in the eyes.

As she walked away, his eyes followed her to her station where she usually rolled dough and decorated pastries, grabbing her gloves which were tinted white from the previous cocaine shipment she handled earlier in the morning.

“Hey...miss? Before you go...what’s your name?” He asked, a crooked smile spreading across his features as she neared him.

“Uhm...it’s Y/N. What’s yours? You don’t look like you’re from ‘round here.” She said.

“I’m Michael, Michael Gray. I’m with the blinders.” He said.

“Oh....um, well I have to get going. It was nice meeting you...Michael.” She said, awkwardly putting on the gloves as he recognized the powder falling off them.

“What do you around here anyway? I know that’s not flour on those gloves.” He said with a smirk. She swallowed hard before answering, her eyes flicking to the window of her fathers office.

“Um...I bake, and...I organize things. Listen...I really do have to go. I’ll see you ‘round sometime, yeah?” She asked. He followed her gaze to the window, noticing the nervous look on her face.

“Alright. See you around, Y/N.” He said with a wink, walking back to his lookout spot in the corner.

She smirked slightly as she passed him, reluctantly heading straight to the back, the other workers paying her no mind as she resumed packing the bricks.

As she worked, she could hear shouts coming from her fathers office, her stomach tightening in knots at the tension she could see forming in the room. Thomas and him standing close to each other, most likely mumbling threats under their breaths. A few moments later, she saw the men exit the tattered room, putting their razored caps on and storming out the door. Michael ultimately leaving with them, but catching her staring as he looked back towards the room she was in. She smiled lightly as he smirked, shutting the door behind him.

She shook her head as she turned back, getting the rest of her packing done while shaking away the thought of someone like him ever taking an interest. She knew her father dealt in dangerous business, so she wasn’t afraid of the blinders and her father doing business necessarily, but she couldn’t deny that them feuding terrified her, knowing even one slip-up could put her or her father at risk. Blowing their years-long cover.

As she was lost in thought, Alfie walked down after they left, smiling as he grabbed a bottle of rum from one of the crates and locking it back.

“You don’t have to organize all those love. How about we go call it a day aye? I know you’re probably wanting summing’ because your old man made ya work back ‘ere all day.” He said. His words annoying to her ears as of late as she grew bored of her life at the shop and at home. One question forever buzzing in the back of her mind as she continued her monotonous tasks.

“I was wondering something....” She said, taking her gloves off and turning towards him.

“Yeah? Wondering about work or what? I’m all ears now you know.” He said, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand.

Her stomach tightened again as she looked her loving, yet over-protective father in the eyes.

“I was uh...wondering how you would feel if I moved out?” She asked, the thought barely working its way through her anxious mind before spewing out of her mouth.

“What?” He asked, his eyes squinting as he cocked his head to the side.

“I-I just think since I’m an adult now, I’d like to have a place of my own. That way I won’t come between ya and the business as much. I’m tired of hiding, dad.” She said, throwing the gloves on the table as she sat next to him.

“What devils gotten into your bones? Have you been sniffing the snow or drinking me rum?” He asked.

“No dad....I just...I just want to be more independent that’s all.” She said.

“I’ll tell ya what...if you pack the snow for the next month I’ll up your pay so you can get you a place. I’ll chip in some too but getting it on your own will be good for ya. I taught you to shoot but I didn’t teach ya about life aye?” He said.

“No not really. But spare me the lectures. Let’s get home. I’m starving.” She said.

“Alright. Let’s get on with it then.” He said, walking with his cane as they made their way to the car.

As the next few weeks passed, she found herself going into work with a smile. Knowing she’d get to work towards her own place, and for the chance to see the dapper blinder who’d been making regular appearances lately, and to her surprise, for more than business reasons.

He’d been sent by Thomas to crunch numbers and talk bets with Alfie, knowing that he was sent to handle more of the legitimate business than the illegal stuff.

But if Y/N learned anything throughout her years, it was knowing when to make herself known.

She waited until Alfie closed his office door, watching Michael walk down the creaky steps as she did a small whistle.

He turned around and grinned, walking towards her, as was becoming their habit recently.

“Y/N, didn’t think you were here, love. Must’ve been in the back again aye?” He asked, quietly. She nodded and led him to one of the women’s lavatories.

“W-why are we in here? I haven’t even taken you on a date.” He asked, a mischievous grin on his lips.

“Shh. There’s no other place right now for us to go. I haven’t told him.” She said.

“Told who?” He asked.

“My-my father. Alfie.” She said, nervously biting her lip as she removed her hand from his. Crossing her arms over her chest.

“Wait...your father is Alfie fucking Solomons?” He asked, his face hardening at the fact. His usual happy demeanor fading.

“Well, adoptive father. He uh adopted me when I was 16 from an orphanage ’round here. He wanted to protect me...from uh...people like you. I guess he’s had some bad history with the blinders and other groups so I’ve been most my life, just working here to pass the time.” She said.

“People like me? What...are you afraid of me?” He asked.

“What? No! I’ve been around dangerous men all my life. I’m just saying that your blinder cousins may not take a liking to me and neither will my father to you. I just have a bad feeling about it.” She said.

“So...what are we to do? Fucking talk in the bathroom every week or what?” He asked, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“We’ll do what I do best. We’ll have to hide.” She said. He looked at her with a confused expression as he put his hand on her hips.

“I get off at 4pm and my father won’t be home until late at night. I usually go straight home, but meet me at the warehouse later around 7pm, yeah?” She asked, seeing him smirk.

“Michael I’m deadly serious. If Thomas or my father finds out we’re as good as dead.” She said.

“Fine...I’ll meet you, but I want you to bring some of the snow. Can you sneak it out?” He asked.

“Yeah. Alright, now go, the workers are coming down the hall.” She said, hearing the plethora of Alfie’s men stomping down the dark hall, making it easier for Michael to slip out un-noticed.

“See you then, Y/N.” He said, pecking her cheek before he left.

She rubbed the spot, her cheeks flushing at the brief contact.

“Y/N?” Alfie’s voice rang from the hall, making her heart race as she thought of all the reasons he could be asking for her, internally praying that it wasn’t because he caught Michael leaving.

“Yeah dad?” She asked, quickly stepping out of the restroom.

“Thought ya ran off love. I was just gonna remind ya I’m working late again.” He said.

“Alright, how many nights are you working late?” She asked.

“Well, probably every day for this month. Thomas and the rest of his blinders are damn near making me lose me mind.” He said.

“Oh...ok. Well I’ll keep an eye on Cyril then. Is it ok if I go out to the shops later? Been wanting to stock up for the new place, for whenever I get it.” She said.

“I mean I’m not going to be there so I can’t stop ya can’t I? You can but remember your gun and that knife. You remember how to use it aye?” He asked.

“Yes dad, I can’t really forget stabbing a man for you, nor can I forget putting a bullet through his head.” She said, shivering slightly at the memory of when things got tense at the shop with a disgruntled employee. Alfie had beaten the man unconscious and dragged the man to the back, telling her that it would be good practice. And it was, but after it was done, she vowed to herself that she’d never use such weapons unless she had to.

“Right, well I have to go deal with some business. I’ll let you off at 4 like usual alright?” He asked.

“Okay, thanks dad. I’ll see you...I guess tomorrow depending on how late you get in.” She said giving him a hug before walking back to her station.

The last few hours dragged on as she reminisced over the past couple of weeks. Her heart skipped a beat thinking about how they’d secretly talk and make out behind the shop where her dad couldn’t see, and how on days like today she had to drag him into the restroom as her heart beat out of her chest at the rebelliousness of it all. It was nothing compared to what she planned to get away with tonight, and for hopefully weeks to come, but it was a small step towards her independence, even if they had to hide their relationship from the world.

As the clock struck 4 she headed towards the back of the building, snagging a bottle of rum from an opened crate and replacing it with one that had just came off the line for the night. Shoving the bottle in her purse as she grabbed a rather small brick of cocaine, it being one of the various runts in the pile they’d received that day.

With quick steps, she went out the door and down to the car that was waiting for her. The purse growing slightly heavy as she continued on. Her father didn’t want her walking home alone of course, and so he arranged for one of his men to routinely take her home, ultimately becoming a blessing and a curse for her independence she was so desperately trying to achieve.

“Hello Tim, I have an odd request today.” She said, counting the huge wad of cash in her purse she’d managed to save up well before asking about apartments

“What’s that Ms.Solomons?” He asked, hid old face wrinkling with a smile.

“Can we stop by the housing department? I’ve had my eye on an apartment for a few weeks. Don’t worry though, I’ve already gotten my fathers approval.” She said, pulling off her biggest lie yet.

“Alright, after that do you wish to go home? He asked.

“Yes please.” She said, watching as the streets zipped by.

Once at the housing department, she told the landlord where she’d like to stay and she followed her to the requested location. Her eyes lit up as she saw the rather grand place. It was just close enough that her father needn’t worry too much while also being just enough of a distance away from the shops she loved going to. It was a rather safe area given the town and her fathers plethora of men protecting her, but she enjoyed the new sense of independence as she gave the woman a cash deposit, along with enough for the years rent.

The woman’s eyes lit up as she saw the amount of cash, Y/N rather un-phased given her fathers business.

“Are you sure Ms.? This is so much in advance.” She said.

“Yes. When shall I move in?” She asked. Checking her watch and seeing it was just after 5pm.

“Oh I’d say ‘round any time next week. Here’s your key, just drop by before you begin moving in.” She said with a smile as she got in her car and left.

“Alright Tim, I’m ready to go home.” She said, a satisfied smile on her face.

“I’m impressed. You got this place yourself? Alfie must be proud.” He said.

“Mhmm.” Y/N said, nervously fidgeting with her hands as she remembered the lie. He’d have her neck if he knew she’d already bought the place earlier than he would’ve liked. But what could it hurt?

The minutes passed rather quickly as she was dropped off at her house, walking inside to see Cyril’s tail wagging as she came through the front door. The house was dimly lit and quiet, just as she’d left it that morning. She played with him and made sure his water bowl was filled, seeing as the maid would help feed him later, but she still loved helping wherever she could.

“Ms. Y/N, I have your dress ready. I’ll feed the dog later and make sure the house is kept before leaving. I hope you enjoy your date.” The older woman said, a genuine smile on her face.

“Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me these last few weeks. Here.” She said, giving her a few slips of cash from her purse.

“Just as a thank you. I’ll be moving in next week to my apartment. Dad doesn’t know though so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him.” She said.

The maids eyes widened at the cash in her hand, agreeing with a small smile and a quick nod before returning to her duties. As much as she loved this house, she wanted to do things on her own terms. She wanted to meet people on her own terms, and finally not hide herself. To make more friends than just the maid. To start actually living.

With an excited smile she ran up the stairs, putting the casual dress on and doing her makeup, deciding to leave her hair as-is, then anxiously making her way outside. The purses weight tugging at her shoulder as she walked down the quiet streets, her gun in her purse and her small knife in hand.

Once she neared the warehouse, she sat around the back, taking a swig of the rum before Michael got there to calm her nerves.

She watched the sun set over Camden Town, the birds songs ending as the insects buzzed about, the air turning a bit colder as she looked at her watch. It was just after 7pm, her heart sinking in her chest as she thought he’d stood her up. But after a few moments, she heard footsteps, making her panic slightly not knowing who was behind them. She carefully drew her gun, aiming at the man as he walked closer, his hands soon up in surrender.

“Y/N? It’s me. Michael.” He said, a smirk on his face, lowering his hands.

“I figured you were ‘round back, didn’t think you’d try to shoot me though.” He said.

“Sorry. You never know out here.” She said, putting her gun away and retrieving the cocaine and rum.

“You carried all that here? I’m impressed.” He said, inspecting the cocaine as she opened the bottle, taking another swig from it. She cringed internally as the liquid burned her throat. She’d only drank a few times, not to any huge extent, but now that she was older and more capable, she figured she at least could drink how she pleased.

“How’d you score this rum?” He asked, taking a swig from the bottle as well.

“I stole it from my dads stash in the back. And that coke is one of the runts of the batch, it was too small to pack in the big crates. Figured I’d bring the whole thing since you seemed to know about it a couple weeks ago.” She said, smirking at the memory of their first awkward meeting.

“Have you tried it?” He asked, leaning back against the wall of the warehouse.

“No.” She said turning away from his gaze as she nervously brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s easy. Watch.” He said, unwrapping it and shaving off a sliver of the white substance with her knife. He sat it on top of the brick and made sure it was all crushed, forming it in a straight line.

He handed her the brick carefully as she held it up towards his face, him inhaling the powder through his nose in one fell swoop.

“You want me to shove that shit up my nose? Are you mad?” She asked, giggling as she took another swig from the rum.

“Yeah. Can’t hide from everything love.” He said, his words hitting home probably more than he realized.

“Alright, if I die, my fathers gonna have your head on a spike.” She said.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He said, preparing a smaller amount of the drug and holding it up to where she could inhale it through her nose. Her nostril burned as she did so, the foreign particles lacing their way through her system.

She laughed and shook her head, wiping her nose of any excess powder as she looked up at Michael who was chuckling slightly.

“That was so odd. I’m not doing that again. Not right now anyway.” She said, handing him the bottle of rum as she curled up next to him. It had only been about a month since they’d met, but even then, their interactions became more frequent.

Over the next few weeks, it was as if they’d known each other for years the way they got on. His aunt Polly eventually seeing a spark in his eye that wasn’t there before, and the same went for Alfie.

“You’ve met someone. I can tell.” Polly said one night, catching him coming in drunk on more than one occasion.

“Yeah I did. Tommy can’t do anything about it. It’s not his concern so don’t go telling him.” He said as he stumbled into the house.

As Michael grappled with the weight of seeing an adversaries daughter, Y/N had gradually moved things into her apartment with the help of her driver, all under her fathers nose. But she knew that once her room was more vacant, he’d catch on. Knowing if the blinders didn’t anger him enough, her leaving suddenly surely would.

One night after a drunken date with her mystery boyfriend, Alfie confronted her. Holding the small brick they’d chipped away at over the previous weeks.

“Oi! You wanna explain this? No daughter of mine is going to be sneaking drugs in me house. Do you really think I’m dumb? Cuz I guarantee you I’m not. This can’t happen. Not under my roof.” He said, lighting his cigar.

“Well if you didn’t want to pack it anyway I thought I might as well put it to good use. But uh, I’ll be sneaking it under me own roof from now on. I’ve bought a place if you couldn’t already tell from barging in my room to find that.” She said, folding her arms like she often did when she was frustrated.

Alfie stepped closer to her, his eyes not leaving hers as she barely flinched.

“I’ll find out who you’re doing all this for. Once I do, you’ll wish ya never stole a thing.” He said, walking towards his chair he usually sat on in their grand living room.

Y/N shook her head and chuckled to herself, stomping off towards her room. Her mind raced as she thought about what to do, grabbing what was left of her clothes and hurling them into her suitcases, deciding to leave the house for good in the morning.

Alfie sighed and sat back in his chair as he heard Y/N rummaging around upstairs. The sweet girl he helped raise all of a sudden wanting to leave the nest. 

It seemed like everything was fine in their lives until the peaky fucking blinders waltzed into his shop. Not caring who they destroyed as long as they got their money, their rum, or their drugs.

[twink-appreciation-posts]

Needs and Wants - Spencer Reid x Reader

chapter six of “all bets are off”

um. so. spencer is the best fuck you've ever had. also cumming too many times can hurt. who knew?

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, degradation, daddy kinky, spanking, overstimulation, the WORKS. im mildly apologetic.

When you awoke in the morning you heard the noise of static cracking on the other side of your phone. Reaching for it, you immediately noticed it was hot to the touch. Had it been on all night? Had Spencer never hung up?

“Reid?” You questioned groggily.

“You slept quite late.”

You groaned. “Why are you still here?”

“I… I don’t know.” He seemed confused by his own actions. “I guess I just felt strange hanging up.”

“Well. I should probably get dressed, I’m supposed to meet up with a friend for dinner.” You checked the time. “Oh. Fuck. I really did sleep for too long.” You sprung out of bed, rifling through your closet. “What have you been up to today though?”

“Mostly just reading. I slept in a bit late as well.” You could hear his smile through the phone. You occasionally had contact with Spencer outside of work, but not very often. It was nice. “What time is your dinner?”

“Six! It’s just an old friend from college,” you explained, sighing.

“Not excited?” He questioned, an air of humor to his voice.

“I just don’t know what to wear,” you chuckled.

Spencer went quiet on the other end. “You know that one black shirt you have?” He questioned.

You tilted your head a bit. “I have a lot of black shirts, Spence. You gotta be more specific. Wait- did you use your freaky memory to memorize the contents of my closet?”

“It’s not freaky, but yes. And it wasn’t fully intentional.” A pause. “I’m talking about the one with the lace. It’s… like a tank top.” You scanned through your clothes.

“Is it the velvet one?” You asked, noticing a pattern.

“Yeah. That one.”

“You have a thing for velvet, don’t you?” You giggled, remembering his fingers running over the fabric of the dress you had worn a few days prior.

“Maybe I do.”

You took the shirt off the hanger and examined it. Not a bad choice. “Any suggestions for the bottom half, sir?” You teased.

Spencer inhaled loudly. Hah. For once you were the one to catch him off guard. “Well, my first instinct is one of those skirts you like to wear when the team goes out together, with nothing else on underneath, of course.” You opened your mouth to argue. “But I wouldn’t want to risk giving anyone a peek of what’s mine. A skirt would still look nice, though.” He finished.

You rolled your eyes. “So shorts, then.” You said, grabbing a skirt. Why would you want to give him any more confidence of the control he had over you? The skirt had been a good idea, but you didn’t have to be totally honest, right?

Spencer chuckled. “Have you always been so petty?” He questioned.

“Have you always been such a sexual deviant?” You fired back.

“Touché, y/n. Touché.”

You and Spencer hung up a few minutes later since you had dinner plans to make. They weren’t anything special but you valued being punctual. The dinner went well enough, at least in the beginning. The “old friend” you were meeting up with was just a guy you were friends with in college. Your mistake, you would later learn, was deciding that it would be cute to take some pictures for Instagram. They were totally innocent, of course, but within a few minutes of posting them, you got a text message from the one and only Spencer Reid. You told your friend it was a “work thing”, not a total lie, and examined.

‘You wore the skirt’

You chuckled at your phone. ‘I did.’

‘Did you take my advice and wear nothing underneath?’

‘No, because I’m not crazy.’ You rolled your eyes a bit.

‘I’m sure your friend would’ve liked it.’

Before you could reply another text came through. ‘When are you planning on being finished with that friend, by the way?’

‘I’m not sure. Why? Something you’re looking forward to?’

‘Just trying to figure out if I’m going to get to leave bruises on that pretty little neck of yours tonight or tomorrow.’

Another text. Damn, he was a fast typer.

‘I wonder what your friend would’ve thought of that? Maybe you should schedule another dinner with him after I’ve absolutely ruined you. Let him see what a pathetic slut you are for me.’

You glanced up at your friend and back at your phone. Was Spencer seriously doing this right now? “Sorry,” you mumbled an apology across the table. “Working in the FBI can be annoying.”

‘Why are you doing this?’ You typed out.

‘Doing what? Getting you all needy and wet while you’re on your dinner date? Because I can.’

‘You think I’m enjoying this?’

‘I know you are. I bet your thighs are pressed together, I bet your face is bright red. Have you told your friend what you’re texting about?’

‘You make a lot of assumptions, Spencer.’

‘If you weren’t enjoying this, y/n, you would’ve stopped replying a long time ago. What was it you said last night? You need me? Don’t you need me to fuck you? I could’ve been fucking you right now, you know. Could’ve had your face pressed down into the mattress, or maybe I could’ve bent you right over your kitchen counter..’

You weren’t even sure how long you had been on your phone at this point. You felt bad but… fuck. What exactly were you supposed to do in this situation? “Listen I, um,” you began to stutter out. “You know how the BAU is, always calling me in at odd hours, and I uh,” you began to stutter out excuses as your phone dinged over and over again.

‘I wish I could see how flustered you are right now.’ ‘I wonder if you’re thinking about getting on your knees for me..’ ‘Maybe about how badly you want to know how my cock feels inside of you.’

Your friend got the gist of it. You had to go because of “work”. You paid the tab, exiting the restaurant as casually as you possibly could. You texted as you walked back to your car.

‘If you wanted to ruin my night, you’ve successfully done it. I’ll be at my apartment in 20.’

You turned off your phone, shoving it into your purse and ignoring the incessant chimes of text notifications, finding your way home. A few minutes after you had settled, you heard a knock at your door. You braced yourself, pulling it open. “Spencer.” You smiled. “What a surprise.” He didn’t respond, eyes scanning your figure. “So,” you continued. “Do you wanna tell me why you decided to bombard me with text messages during my lovely evening out?” You raised a brow.

He considered your question, fidgeting with his hands. “When you told me that you were seeing a friend I didn’t realize you meant..”

“What, a guy?” You chuckled. “Was I supposed to inform you of his gender beforehand?”

Spencer shook his head. “No. I just hate imagining all of the things that must have been running through his head about you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Not that it matters, but it’s not like that. He’s a friend.”

“Oh, I know. It’s not you I’m worried about. I mean, I doubt he could fuck you half as well as I could anyway, but he’s probably been fantasizing about you all night.” A bold statement indeed.

You just laughed. “I think maybe you’re projecting, buddy. You’re the one who blew up my phone and forced me to come home.”

“Forced? Unless my memory is somehow mistaken, I think you’re the one who made that decision.”

“Are you here to argue semantics with me or-“ He cut you off.

“And to your earlier point,” he took a step towards you. “I have no need to project. I’m the one who’s going to get to see you all bruised up and begging for my cock, aren’t I?”There it was. The switch. You had been waiting, waiting for the moment where he got annoyed with you. You opened your mouth, ready to push him even further over the edge. “I’d watch what you say now, little girl. I’m already planning on making sure you regret all the teasing you’ve done the past few days, don’t add insult to injury.”

He really had an issue with teasing, huh? Good. Easier to rile him up. “Is this where you start the whole training thing you were going on about yesterday? You gonna teach me some tricks? And if so, do I at least get some treats if I’m good?” You questioned, going directly against his words of warning. You were watching him closely, wanting to see him seethe. You felt a wave of confusion pass you over as he seemed unfazed, unfortunately maintaining composure. In fact, he stepped forward and closed the gap between your bodies, placing his hands on the hem of your skirt, fingers dancing along it.

“Are you done?” He asked, eyes not leaving yours.

You looked up at him, mind going blank. “Um. No. Fuck you.” You spat out quickly, a last-ditch effort to get more of a reaction out of him.

“Right. I’m not sure what I expected from such a useless little slut. You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Spencer mumbled. In one swift motion he was pulling your skirt down and watching it pool at your feet. He was kissing you just a moment later, hands holding your face firmly in place. You would’ve fought for control, but you could already tell it would be a futile effort. His fingers were digging into your skull, tangling in your hair, and his lips were relentless, barely giving either of you room to breathe. You could feel it now, though. The anger you had been working so hard to trigger was coming out in full force. When he eventually pulled away his hands moved from your head to your breasts, swirling around the lace and velvet that covered them. You were panting, watching him, the way his fingers flexed and his eyes followed his own movements. “You’re so pretty, it really is a shame you can’t behave yourself.” He pulled the shirt over your head, leaving you exposed.

He leaned down and began to assault your chest with his tongue, one of his hands shoving your panties to the side and inserting two fingers into your pussy without warning. Your hand flew to your mouth, attempting to stifle the embarrassingly loud moan that he had caused. He didn’t take it slow at all, no, he started off at a brutal pace, as if his mission was to get you to cum as quickly as possible. If that had been his mission, he was succeeding. Before you had a chance to tell him that you were close his lips were at your neck, biting hard enough that you were sure that makeup wouldn’t cover the aftermath. “Cum for me, slut. It’s not hard to tell that you’re close already. So fucking needy for me, all you do is fight me but look how easily you crumble. There’s no hesitation when my fingers are inside of you, huh?” You couldn’t reply even if you had wanted too, you were too busy struggling to keep yourself standing as your orgasm washed over you. Spencer helped, a hand behind you to keep you stable, but you were still shaking. “Good girl. Let’s see, how many more of those do we have left.” You looked at him with confusion. “Well, I’d say we have one from at the club, when you let your hand wander,” his fingers hadn’t let up, still pumping in and out of you. You were trying your best to focus on his words, but it was proving to be a difficult task. “Another from that night, how you touched yourself right where I could hear,” You wanted to argue or say anything really, but your voice was too busy moaning and whimpering as his thumb moved onto your clit. “One from earlier today, especially after that little stunt you pulled on Instagram. And at least one more for the show you just put on before I shut you up.” You were close again. Fuck. It was too close together. Too much stimulation. “What do you think, baby? Does 4 sound good? We can make it 3 right now if you cum for me.” He said ‘if’ like it was an option for you, but it was far from it. You moaned his name, probably loud enough to alert your neighbors, as your second orgasm arrived. “Fuck, oh my god, Spencer. Fuck.” You panted out, legs giving out beneath you. He chuckled, holding you up on his own and finally removing his fingers from inside of you. “Good girl. So good for me.” He praised, allowing you to catch your breath. He picked you up now, taking you to your bed, and gently placing you down. You watched as he began to pull off layers of clothing. You didn’t think you could get any more turned on than you already were but seeing Spencer undress definitely did it. You couldn’t peel your eyes away. He left his boxers on, his dick straining against them.

He moved onto the bed, hovering over you. You prepared yourself for him to kiss you again but instead he spoke, brushing a hair out of your face. “The only words I want to hear coming out of that filthy little mouth of yours from now on are ‘yes, daddy’. Do you understand?”

You gulped. Yes. You understood. But were you actually going to-

His had went to your throat, not applying pressure. A warning.

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.” He flipped you over onto your stomach, inhaling sharply. He moved his hands underneath your hips, picking them up so that your ass was displayed.

“Look at you,” he tugged your panties down your thighs, hands skimming over the skin. “Such a perfect little toy for me. So eager to be fucked.”

You squirmed, his hands being so close to where you desperately wanted them.

“Do you want this, baby?” He asked, his hand coming down on your ass. It stung, but only for a moment. Not his full force, you could tell, but it was enough to get you to squeal. “Y-Yes, daddy.” You spoke softly. You felt his hand leave your skin and braced yourself for it to return. It did, of course, but much harder this time. You flinched a bit but Spencer held you in place. “Look at you, such a fast learner.” He cooed, another blow landing on your ass. It hurt. You knew that. But you found yourself prioritizing the pleasure in your mind. “You said that you wanted bruises that lasted for weeks, right?” He asked, hand coming down again. The pain began to become ever-more present, even when his hand wasn’t on your skin you could feel the sting from the cool air. He repeated the process a few times, mumbling words of praise in between. Tears began to spill from your eyes when he was finished. Without his hand to support you, you crumbled back down on the bed, laying on your stomach. Spencer flipped you over gently, watching the tears flow. “Good girl,” he praised, wiping a few of them away. “Such a perfect little slut for daddy. You did so well.” You found yourself relishing in the praise up in a way you hadn’t before. “T-Thank you, daddy.” You breathed out shakily. Spencer smiled at you and began to spread your legs apart gently. “But you’re not done yet, are you baby?”

Your eyes widened at the reminder. It seemed impossible. You weren’t sure your body would even be able to take it. You began to protest, but your words were cut short as he began to trail kisses down your body. He didn’t waste much time on his way to your pussy, tongue grazing your clit. “Oh, fuck..” your back arched instinctively. Encouraged by your reaction, Spencer began to roll his tongue over your clit and then down towards your entrance, moving his face and tongue at a slow pace. You watched, his hair falling onto your thighs and tickling them gently. “F-Fuck, keep going. Please.” You whined. He chuckled against you, speeding up his pace. Both of his hands were planted on your thighs, keeping them spread for easier access. His tongue worked against you harshly. Demanding. He was exploring, making sure to taste every inch of you, moving like he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had. You felt a familiar knot begin to form in your stomach, your hips bucking up towards his face. He moved one of his hands to your stomach, pressing down firmly, pinning your body down to the mattress. “Daddy, fuck, I’m gonna cum. I-I’m so close. You feel so fucking good. Fuck. So good, so good, so-“ And there it was, your 3rd orgasm of the night. Your vision became blurry, you were barely even aware of the fact that Spencer had gotten fully naked until a few moments later when you were coming back down to Earth.

“You’ve been such a good girl for me, baby. Only two more. You can do two more, can’t you?” You were weak. You guessed 3 orgasms and some spanking would do that to someone, but your body still ached for him. He approached you, his hand moving to slide your legs apart once again. You whimpered in anticipation. “Beg for me, baby. Tell daddy how badly you need him.” His voice was low, commanding.

“Please Spencer, fuck, I need it. I need to feel you inside of me. It’s all I’ve been able to think about all day, please. I want you to ruin me. You need to ruin me, please.”

Spencer seemed content with your response because after a few moments he was pushing himself inside of you, releasing a string of curses from his mouth as he did. The intrusion was piercing as he split you open, your eyes rolling back into your skull. Fuck. Yes. This was what you needed. “You’re so wet and tight for me baby.” Spencer groaned, slowly pulling out and pushing himself back in. “So fucking good. Such a good little fucktoy.” He began to find a rhythm, his hips snapping into yours aggressively. The noise of his skin meeting yours filled the room, broken only by the moans that were tumbling out of you uncontrollably now. After all of the overstimulation you had already been through, your fourth orgasm built up quickly. “No one else can make you feel like this, isn’t that right baby? Fuck. No one else can make you cum like I can.”

He was right. He was fucking right. Out of every sexual encounter you had ever had... this one stood miles above.

“No one.” You agreed. “No one else. No one but you.” Your words were coming out barely comprehendible. “Fuck. Please no more,” you began to whine, your release catching up to you. Spencer reached up, closing a hand around your neck to silence you. “Shh baby, just cum for me. Cum for me, come on. You’re so close.” Tears began to flow again as your 4th climax ripped through you, every single one of your nerves on fire. You felt like you were being torn apart. Your tears clouded your vision, but it hardly mattered. You were seeing stars. You could hear, somewhere in the distance, it felt like, Spencer praising you, his hand releasing your neck. You gasped for air, panting, and sputtering.

One more. One more. One more.

“Fuck, Spence, I can’t.” You sobbed, “I can’t.” You repeated. “You can and you will.” He replied, voice shaking. He was close too. You could tell. His thrusts were becoming more sporadic, more frantic. “You’ve been so fucking good for me, baby. Keep going.” Fuck. When your vision returned you saw him, sweat dripping down his body, his hair matted down, and you could feel yourself clench around him. Your body ached, but you could still feel it approaching. “F-Fuck. Fuck. I..” you were a mess, whimpering, shaking, all because of Spencer Reid. “I know baby. Cum with me. I wanna feel you cum around my cock.” Spencer groaned, and you didn’t have the strength left in you to fight. Your body was set aflame as you came, feeling the warmth of his own climax as well. You were panting, grasping at consciousness and you came down. Somewhere in your brain, you processed Spencer getting off of the bed. When your mind came back to you you sat up, sweat dripping down your forehead.

“Spencer..” you said softly, watching as he pulled back on his shirt. “That was...”

He nodded, lost in thought.

“Are you okay?” You asked, frowning.

“I’m fine. Just thinking about how you’re gonna hide those hickeys on Monday.”

You touched your hand to your neck. “Oh. Yeah. That might be an issue.”

You got ready to hop off the bed, but a wave of pain rushed over you. Too soon to start moving again.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Spencer’s voice was sweet now, laced with concern. “I’ll go get you some Advil or something. You have some right?” You nodded. “I can run a bath if you want, too.”

“That would be great. Thanks.” You smiled weakly.

As left the room your phone dinged, alerting you of a text message from Garcia.

‘Girls night tomorrow!! You can’t say no, Emily and JJ already said yes.’

Fuck.

taglist <3

@101donuts @annestine @spideyboix @babybloomer @welcome-to-hoeville @eldahae

[eyeofthedrgn]

Abomination - Chapter 6

Notes: This is the ending that just happened without my explicit permission. It was meant to go a completely different way. I think I just started projecting on a certain character and it just, yeah. My depression has kind of been eating me alive lately and that lends a lot to how I write. Anyway, I've started writing the original ending that I had planned, though it's slow going with that whole depression thing influencing how I write. Let me know if you'd like to read it or if I should just tweak it be a different fic.

Trigger Warning: depression, language/derogatory slurs, anxiety, anxiety attacks, cutting/self harm, coming out, suicidal thoughts, betrayal, character death

Word count: 2781

Chapter 6

Lorcan started getting better. He was opening up more, going to group regularly. Him and Ansel would play board games during their sessions as long as Lorcan continued to open up. She started bringing in different games so they didn’t get tired of the three she had. They were all pretty basic games though due them having to pass security rules, but Lorcan appreciated the effort.

Elide visited a few times, it was nice to see her. He was thankful for Asterin and Manon for keeping her company at night. He was also a little jealous that movie night had become a regular occurrence without him. She told him that Fenrys had been the advocate for it and made sure it happened every week. He asked her if she had heard from Sam. She hadn’t. Elide did tell him that Rowan was going to therapy now and he was feeling less guilty about everything.

“He wanted me to ask you if he could visit. He said it’s okay if you don’t want him to.” Lorcan ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip. “I’ll tell him not yet.”

“No, I think it’s fine. Um, I’ll ask Ansel what she thinks later and have her message you, okay?” She nodded.

“Do you know when you’ll get to come home?” He had been in here for nearly three months and he knew Elide missed him. She called everyday. He missed normal life, but…

“I’m not ready yet, El.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry.” He moved from his seat across from her and knelt in front of her, pulling her into a hug. “I’m finally taking care of myself and I don’t want to half ass it,” he whispered into her hair. She only nodded into his chest. He only held her tighter and placed a kiss on her head when she sniffled.

Later that evening, he was laying on his bed thinking back on his conversation with Elide earlier today. He felt good that he had stood up for himself about staying until he was ready to go. It was about time that he took care of himself. He was learning a lot about himself, about accepting his sexuality and becoming comfortable acting the way he wanted to, rather than what everyone expected. It wasn’t much different from his usual self, but he stopped thinking about his mannerisms and how people would perceive him. Everyone at the facility knew he was gay and didn’t bat an eye at that fact. He only hoped his friends would accept him.

---

Rowan was sitting in the waiting room of the treatment facility Lorcan was at. He was nervous. His leg was bouncing. He had put all of his things in a locker including his belt and shoes since they had laces. He had never been to a place like this before and it was nerve wracking. Someone finally came to bring him back to see Lorcan, he was taken to an empty table in the corner of a large room. Everything was so bland, there were no pictures on the walls, nothing on any of the tables, no plants. It was so different from a regular hospital. He sat in a chair at the table he was directed to and waited. There were people at other tables having quiet conversations, some were in gray scrubs, others in street clothes, so he guessed this was the visitors hall.

His leg started bouncing again. He looked around, he couldn't be on his phone while he waited because it was in the locker in the lobby. So, he twiddled his thumbs and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

A door on the far side of the room opened and Lorcan walked in with a lady who seemed to work at the facility. She was talking to him, his head was tilted down, he nodded at what she was saying. Lorcan was wearing the same gray scrubs every other patient seemed to be wearing. It was weird seeing him in something other than black.

They finally made it over to his table, he stood.

"Hi Rowan, I'm Ansel. I'm Lorcan's therapist." She held out her hand, he took it.

"Nice to meet you." His eyes flitted over to Lorcan briefly who seemed a little uncomfortable.

"I just wanted to let you know that I will be close by in case anything triggering happens, but I don't think it will. It's just a precaution for new visitors." She gave him a smile before sitting a couple tables away.

Rowan looked at Lorcan, his head was still down. He took a deep breath then looked at him. His eyes were clear. Clearer than he had ever seen before. There weren't any dark bags under his eyes. Gods, he looked different, healthy. "Hi."

"Hi." Rowan gestured lazily to the table and chairs, "Wanna sit?"

"Um, yeah," Rowan started to pull his chair back out. "But-" He froze, uncertain what was going to happen. Lorcan took half a step forward. Ah.

"You want a hug?" He nodded once. Rowan's heart felt like it was going to burst. He closed the distance and wrapped arms around Lorcan's shoulders. Lorcan's arms tightened around his waist. He felt his best friend melt into the touch. They stood there for about a minute before pulling apart. Lorcan bowed his head again and brought his hand up to his face and Rowan heard a small sniffle before Lorcan sat down. He wanted to joke about it, but he was also a little verklempt.

"How, uh, how are you?" Rowan felt like that was a little bit of a loaded question, but he really had no idea how Lorcan was doing.

Lorcan let out a small wet chuckle. "I- I'm doing okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his hair that had gotten longer. "Ansel and going to group have really helped me out. I understand myself a little better. Well, quite a bit better." The corner of his lips turned up. "El told me you're seeing a therapist?"

"Yeah. It's been helpful," he nodded.

"I'm glad." Lorcan gave him a small smile. When was the last time he saw Lorcan smile? "Have you and Aelin picked a date yet?" Rowan studied his face for a moment before replying. No hurt or regret flashed over his features.

"Not yet. We're thinking late August or September. Aelin had originally suggested late October, but I told her that we can't have our wedding that close to your birthday."

Lorcan chuckled, "Thanks. It's not like my birthday isn't shared with a holiday or anything."

"I know, but I still didn't like crowding your birthday." They talked for another hour about nothing super serious. Lorcan seemed pretty relaxed the whole time, it was nice to see. He loved seeing his friend being more free than he had ever been before, and was so happy that Lorcan was healing. He hoped they could be better friends than they had ever been before, but he didn't want to get his hopes up too much, he still wasn't sure how Lorcan felt about him. But maybe one day.

---

Lorcan sat in the passenger seat of Elide's car. He had finally felt like he was ready to go home after three and a half months. Maybe Ansel had to encourage him a little. He had become comfortable there. It was predictable, more or less, and there wasn't any of the real life pressures within those boring white walls. He was a little nervous to go home. There were so many bad memories, but hopefully the good ones would outweigh the bad ones.

They finally pulled into their driveway and into the garage. Everything was going to be fine. He felt so much better than he had his entire life, but his demons still lingered. They still gathered in the far recesses of his mind, but he found it easier to ignore them since Ansel put him on medication and he started talking in therapy. But they were still there. Waiting. Waiting for the walls of confidence he had built to crumble, for the cracks he couldn't fill to get big enough that they could slide back into the forefront. Waiting for reality to crush the precarious walls he had just learned to build. And then there were the other demons, the anxiety driven demons. Those had been harder to push back, they pressed against the fragile walls of his mind constantly. It was never forceful, but enough to know they were there. Waiting to rush in.

Lorcan followed Elide into their home. It felt different. Almost like he was a stranger, though he supposed he was.

"I washed all your clothes and sheets. They were getting musty. Sorry if your clothes aren't back where you like them," she said as she went to the kitchen to start dinner.

"Thanks, El. You didn't have to do that." He followed and leaned against the counter as she busied herself. She just rolled her eyes at him before putting a pot of water on the stove. Elide put some music on and started swaying and humming to herself. Lorcan instantly felt like he was intruding and didn't belong here anymore. Why was it suddenly so awkward? He felt his anxiety brush around his thoughts.

"I'm gonna go change," he said awkwardly and left for his room before Elide had time to reply. He was in the clothes that he had run away in and didn't feel comfortable in them. He sat on his bed after quietly closing the door. Ansel had told him it was going to be a transition, but he wasn't expecting the awkwardness or feeling like a stranger in his own home.

He stripped out of his sweats and was about to drop them in his trash can when he saw the crumpled up papers. He reached down and picked one up. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he was still recovering, but his body wouldn't listen to him. Lorcan sat on his bed, almost naked, his sweats now next to him as he flattened out the paper.

I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of living a lie. I'm tired of disappointing everyone. I hate that I've taken Elide's life from her by continuing to pretend that we're together. I stole seven years of her life. She could have a real lover, a partner, but instead she was stuck with me. A person too scared to take control of his own life. Too scared to let people know who I really am. But instead, I pulled Elide in and kept her from living. That's my biggest regret.

I'm gay. I have depression and sometimes crippling anxiety. And I ruined both of my best friends' lives.

That was as far as he got on this letter before he threw it across the room all those months ago. What sucked was, it was true. Is true. All of it. He just crumpled it back up and dropped it back where it was, followed by the clothes that he couldn't stand wearing anymore. He sat there, he felt the demon's arms reach through the cracks trying desperately to pull him back with them. He almost let them until he heard Elide call down the hall that dinner was ready. Lorcan didn't reach for them, but he didn't push them back either.

---

The next week, he went back to work. It was awkward. His boss, Ren, welcomed him back with open arms, but the other mechanics gave him a wide berth, unsure of how to approach someone admitted to an insane asylum. Those were the whispers he heard as he worked. An insane asylum. He wasn't fucking crazy, just depressed and suicidal. Maybe that was the same thing. It just sucked because he had known these people for years and here they were treating him like he was a leper. So, he put in his earbuds to drown everything out.

My Chemical Romance’s Danger Days filled his head as he mindlessly gave a car a tune-up, it was something he had done a thousand times. It made his day go by quickly which he was thankful for. He hated catching the stares of his fellow mechanics though. He ended his day on The Black Parade album and switched to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge on his walk home.

Lorcan was tired. He hadn't worked in four months and he just wanted to grab a bottle of whiskey on his way home. But he had made the mistake of walking past Staghorns. He had kind of forgotten that it existed, his mind was on whiskey. While he was waiting to cross the street, Sam walked out of the bar. His hair was longer and up in a bun, the sides and back had been buzzed. He wore black skinny jeans and a green t-shirt under a leather jacket. And he was wearing eyeliner that made his caramel eyes pop. That's when Lorcan noticed the other man on his arm and they were close it seemed. Sam put his face into the other man's neck and giggled as they walked away.

He missed the light to cross the street. The cracks in his walls only grew, the anxiety pushed a little harder. Lorcan knew it was stupid to think that maybe Sam would still want to get together. He knew he fucked that up, but it still hurt to see. It hurt that he seemed to be invisible.

As he continued his way home, he shifted his bag that held two bottles instead of one. He was slowly falling back into old habits, old ways of thinking. It was so easy. The negativity, the berating, the self deprecating was so easy. How was he supposed to do this without talking to Ansel everyday? How was he supposed to live a normal life when everything weighed on him, judged him, told him he wasn't worth as much as the rest of them?

By the time he got home, he wondered what the point of being at the treatment facility was. He felt like the walls he built over the last few months had crumbled and his demons were once again running free. The only upside? He wasn't in love with Rowan anymore. Somehow he had come to terms with his feelings and let them go with Ansel's help. He took a shower to get the grease and sweat of the day off, then drank a third of a bottle before crashing in his bed. He was so fucking exhausted.

The next several weeks were much of the same. Work, feel judged, shower, drink, sleep. On the weekends he just slept. He even missed movie nights because he just didn't care. He would drink and sleep instead. Lorcan was back at square one and none of his friends seemed to give a shit. They had gotten used to him not being there, so he just continued to not be there. And no one questioned. When he had come home, no one had come to see him. No one had called or texted. No one invited him to the bar or even movie night in his own house. It was as if they only went to save him from killing himself because it would hurt Rowan. Rowan, who everyone loved.

Elide had also made herself scarce. She took up extra shifts at work, she would stay at one of the Blackbeak's regularly. At one point when he actually caught her, he suggested that they end their fake relationship and she seemed relieved. A few months after their "break up," she moves out and in with Manon. And now Lorcan is alone. Movie nights don't happen anymore, at least not at his place.

If he leaves the house, his phone just sits on his nightstand. He doesn't need it. No one contacts him. The last call he got was a month ago from Elide, the last text was from a week ago, also Elide.

His house is more or less barren. Almost everything was Elide's. He felt more alone sitting in his home than he did freezing at North River Overlook almost a year ago. Lorcan wants to go back there and take that final step. Maybe he should. No one seems to care about him anymore. So, he quits his job, sells his house and he donates his things. The money he gets from the house, he deposits into Elide's account.

And then he walks.

And walks.

And walks.

He walks until the last step is nothing but air.

____

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@thenerdandfandoms @starlightorstarfire @inkstainedvictorian

[girlmeetsliv3]

Lilies of the Valley I

A/B/O!BTS x Reader

Flowers can have different meanings depending on the flower’s shape, color, and method in which they are presented. Lilies are my favorite for such a simple flower can have so many distinct meanings.

Chapter One: Hatred & Pride

“Lilies are considered a beautiful, popular flower but the orange variations actually symbolize hatred, pride, and disdain.”

Release Date: 05/18/20 @ 7 pm

next

 YN stumbled haphazardly into her apartment, as she tried to kick off heels and steer her way into her apartment's small bathroom. In her hand lay a crumpled up business card that scorched her skin, yet she couldn't let go of it. As she reached the bathroom, she flickered the yellow lighting on and stared at herself in the dirty mirror. Mascara and eyeliner were smudged making her resemble a panda, a frown etched between her brows, and colored lips turned downward. It was not her wretched appearance that had her sorrowful, but rather the bite that was visible right where her neck met her shoulder. It looked fresh, harsh red marks that displayed to the world that she was taken. "What a fucking lie."

She took off her makeup and jumped into the shower scrubbing off every trace she could of the alpha. Not wanting his scent permeating on her body any longer, then it would truly prove people's perception of her to be true. A small ding as she was exiting the shower alerted her towards her phone.

           Mark Lee: Sorry about how I acted. I just don't understand, but I don't think we should see each other anymore.

"Great," YN grumbled. There went another one that she'd managed to drive away. It would be a lot easier if she could simply date someone like her - not that it would ever be allowed. Still, there would be less judgment and she wouldn't have to feel like a let down to society or her family every time a holiday passed and she failed to present with a mate. "Fuck society." Though truly it was more like fuck Jeon Jungkook. None of this would've happened if it weren't for the alpha and his hormones. Truly none of this would've happened if his mates kept a tighter grip on the newly presenting alpha, but she couldn't blame the others for his mistake.

           On second thought, fuck them all. Why the fuck are sub-genders a thing anyway? This wasn't the first time said thoughts had filled her head. Presenting as an Omega in a family full of beta's had been difficult, not to mention the events that followed afterward. YN dragged her feet into her bed, thankful for once that she lived in such a small apartment that things were never so far apart. Though her current apartment was about the size of the kitchen in her parent's home, she couldn't complain. Few people rented unmated omegas. She was lucky that her landladies were two female betas with small children. YN doesn’t have anything against alphas but she’s aware enough to know how they perceive her: a means to an end rather than a human being. Or half of one at the very least.

           Her cell phone screen lit up again, but YN was far too tired to check it. Until it stayed on as a plethora of messages appeared. Rolling her eyes, YN grabbed her phone and unlocked it planning to send to hell whoever sent so many messages this late at night.

           Unknown: Please consider it.

           Unknown: I know you blame me for a lot of things and it is my fault, but I’d like to fix things.

           Unknown: or help at the very least.

           Unknown: Please just answer me.

           Unknown: I’m very sorry. You know I am. It was a mistake, I was presenting and couldn’t control myself. Please YN.

           Unknown: You’re my mate.

YN slammed her phone down on her bed with tears in her eyes. She regretted ever going on the date tonight, regretted ever meeting Jungkook, regretted presenting as an Omega. YN regretted being alive. She knew others felt the same way, she'd seen the look in her father's eyes when he had gone to the police station. None of this would've ever happened if she were a beta. YN would be able to get a good education, a good job, a decent place to live. She wouldn't be treated like a third-class citizen because of her sub-gender - she would just be YN. The way she'd been in school before all this happened. The way she spent seventeen years of her life living. Sobs racked throughout her body and she bit into her arm to keep the sound from reaching her neighbors. She didn't want to get into any more trouble tonight.  

           Exhaustion eventually won over and YN slipped into a restless sleep, plagued by the events of her past and the ones that occurred a few hours earlier.

          “So there was nothing you did in high school? No clubs or anything like that?”

YN shook her head, shrugging slightly. "I helped some teachers, dabbled in a couple of things but wasn't like the head cheerleader or class president." Tentatively she reached for her drink, making sure Mark didn't notice her smelling it for anything. It wasn't that he wasn't nice, but one could never be too careful. Mark laughed, "Alright you got me there, but I'll let you know the only reason I became class president is that I promised I'd get us a pool."

           “How did that work out?”

           “Terrible. The school was convinced our stupid asses would drown or something. Can’t say it wasn’t true.”

           YN giggled, taking another bite of her food. Mark was cute and he seemed aware of things, enough to not try too hard. He hadn’t asked to pick her up or asked about exes, he’d agreed to meet at the restaurant and even arrived early. Then again it might also be because they have a friend in between and it was Rosé who’d set them up together. “So YN what school did you go to?” Mark leaned forward resting his face in his hands. The warm lighting in the restaurant cast a nice glow on his features, it made him look more attractive. Or perhaps the alcohol had finally set in.

           “I went to Yeong-gwang Academy.” As soon as YN uttered the name Mark’s eyes widened exponentially. “No way, I’ve heard about that school. Isn’t it like a rich kid central or something? Wait didn’t you go to school with the Kims?!” It was an involuntary reaction the way she shivered whenever she heard that name, but her date must not have noticed. He stood waiting for her confirmation and all it took was a curt nod, for the man to begin rambling about all the rumors he’d heard over the years. It was difficult to keep up with them all, but she did manage to correct a few.

           “Haven’t you guys been ranked number one school in Korea for like thirty years or something?”

           “I think it’s only twenty.”

           “I heard all your sports teams are national champions.”

           “We only really had like five or so.”

           “Don’t you have the largest private collection of flowers in Asia?!”

           “Um, it’s Lilies and I think that’s an exaggeration.”

On and on it went, YN was now beginning to regret opening her mouth. She'd heard of Academy fans before, but it was mainly people who wanted to go there and couldn't or alumni. The way Mark spoke about it made her seem like she was an olympiad or a part of history. The date was drawing to an end, YN couldn't help but feel disappointed but it could have gone worse. Mark could have seen her mark and it would've caused conflict, hearing the boy ramble about her school was the lesser of the two evils.  

           It was when YN lifted her drink to her lips that she sensed it. A hint of musk and the smell of fresh linen, she couldn’t explain how she knew it was him. It was almost instinctual the fear that spread throughout her. As discreetly as she could, YN cast a glance around the room trying to find him almost exhaling with relief when she didn’t. It’s probably a mistake.

           “Hey isn’t that Kim Jungkook right there?”

It was said a little too loudly, just enough that YN knew he'd heard it. It didn't take long for her to feel eyes peering at her, goosebumps rose through her arms. Her bite began to throb and YN could feel her heart skip a beat. Mark's eyes focused on him and eventually crawled up, letting her know the alpha was approaching. Now the scent hit her entirely, shaking her to her core. YN gripped the table to steady herself but found that near impossible when the alpha kept sending his pheromones at her.  

"Does there seem to be a problem here?" His voice had deepened over the years, no longer the voice of a teenager but that of a man.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to call your name so loudly. Um, I'm Mark Lee. A pleasure to meet you." Mark turned his attention towards YN expecting her to acknowledge Jungkook or greet him as a classmate. YN couldn't. She couldn't look at him. It didn't help that there was a tense atmosphere between the two, the tension was palpable and it seemed Mark had enough.

           “Aren’t you going to greet him, YN?”

           Greet the man responsible for everything wrong in my life, sure. Yn’s eyes trailed upwards from the table to Jungkook’s face until her warm eyes met his golden ones. As YN parted her lips to speak, she felt it: the heat spreading throughout her body. An uncontrollable feeling that raked throughout her body. The fucker was trying to trigger a pseudo-heat. Instantly YN’s grip tightened on the table, her fingertips becoming white as she fought with nature to keep control over herself.

           “Do you two know each other?” It seems Mark was catching on and truly she couldn’t blame him if he misunderstood. She would too if the roles were reversed. Suddenly Jungkook turned to face Mark, holding his hand out to greet him.

           “I’m Kim Jungkook, her mate.”

"What?! No, he isn't. Don't listen to him, Mark." Her outcry had caused quite a few patrons to turn her way, now all paying close attention to what was happening.

"Uh -" Jungkook quickly interceded whatever Mark was going to say. "Did you not notice her mark? Or do you make a habit of seeking mated people?" At this a few people gasped, Mark looked between the two of them confused. YN snapped, "It's a partial bond. It was never completed so it doesn't mean anything." Her words only confused Mark even more. Whispers from surrounding tables began to reach her ears and it only fueled YN's rage more. This was all a big misunderstanding, but Jungkook was thriving off it. Mark and YN's eyes met as she silently pleaded with him to listen to her.

"Hey beta," Jungkook snapped his fingers together, "look at me." YN should've known she'd lost then and there. As a beta, it was impossible to resist the order of alpha, not to mention one that exuded the stench that Jungkook did.

           “You know who I am right?” Mark nodded, eyes wide as if aiming to please. “Then you know don’t you? You know…” When Mark looked back at her, there was sympathy in his eyes. “I’m sorry YN.” was all the beta said before standing up and walking away. YN had so many things to say, so many more explanations, but they all died in her tongue.

           Jungkook tsked, “What an asshole. Could’ve at least paid for the meal.” That was the final strand for YN, she gathered her stuff and threw all the money she had down on the table. Walking fast out of the restaurant trying to avoid the judgemental stares directed towards her, she swore some people hissed at her under their breaths. Once outside YN leaned against the side entrance of the restaurant trying to steady her breath and stop the incoming tears.

"YN. Hey!" Jungkook raced out the front, staring around panicked until his gaze landed on her. YN tried to walk away, but his long legs gave him an advantage and he reached her in a few steps. "Please YN. I'm sorry, I just- I couldn't control myself." YN rolled her eyes, trying to push the alpha aside.  

           “No please YN look.” His hands gripped her forearms and tugged her close to him. “I’ve been trying to find you, we’ve been trying to find you. But you disappeared off the map.”

           “That’s because of you. I left because of you.” YN tried to get him to release her arms, but his hold was too tight. “Wasn’t it enough for you? Isn’t it enough for you? You ruined my life and my reputation Jungkook. The least you could do is leave me alone.” She was begging at this point, trying to make him see reason.

           “I can’t leave you alone, YN. You’re my mate.”

           “You already have mates Jungkook. Fucking six of them! How could you want more?!”

           “It isn’t like that and you know it. You’re all our mates. You're the pack omega, you just don’t see it yet.”

           This wasn’t the first time Jungkook had tried to excuse his behavior by using the pack bond. Yes, it was true all seven of them shared it but that didn’t mean she did too. “Omega’s don’t have the pack bond, Jungkook. Stop trying to lie.” YN couldn’t see what he gained from this.

           “I’m not lying. It’s rare but it happens, please if you just speak to Namjoon you’ll see-”

           “Leave me alone Jungkook.” YN mustered all her strength and managed to finally push him off. The alpha looked shocked at her display of aggression, YN strongly desired to hit him but knew it wouldn’t end well if she triggered his instincts. “I’d rather die alone than be mated to you.” YN could see the spear driven through the boy’s heart because she felt something similar go through hers. YN let out a shaky breath, she leaned over resting on her knees for fear of falling over.

"I get it. I'm sorry, I ruined your date. I embarrassed you in front of all those people and that wasn't right. I'm sorry YN, I truly am. For everything, I've ever done to you. But it doesn't change the truth. You know this isn't something I can lie about: you are my mate. Our mate."

YN groaned and went to walk away, knowing that there wouldn't be an end to Jungkook's madness. As she walked past the shaken alpha, he grasped her hand placing something in it. "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate, please." YN didn't even spare him a look as she walked away. It wasn't until she could no longer smell him that YN broke down, her body shaking as she tried to hold it all in. She was still in a public place and a vulnerable omega might draw unwanted attention. YN took a deep breath and steadied herself. Heading straight to her apartment and refusing to look back.

           A loud abrupt ringing awoke YN from her sleep, she jumped so high she practically touched the ceiling. Grabbing the phone, she saw Rosé’s contact picture pop-up on the screen. It was rare for her to call, especially since it was nearly six a.m.

           “Hey.”

           “YN? Oh my god.” Rosé’s tone was panicked and YN could hear the way she panted. “Someone broke into my apartment while I was sleeping.”

           “What?! Are you alright?!” YN jumped out of bed and raced to put on pants and hoodie, before grabbing her keys and wallet. “Where are you?”

           “I’m at the police station. I couldn’t see very clearly, but they’re looking at security cam footage from around the area to figure out who it is.”

           “I’m on my way. Did you call Lucas?” Lucas was Rosé’s foster sibling, his husband worked in the police and was certain to make the whole process smoother.

           Rosé hesitated, “He isn't answering. Please come, I’m here alone and I-”

           “It’s alright I’ll be there soon I promise.” YN had managed to wave down a cab and told him to drive as quickly as he could.

The sight of her best friend in tears triggered something innate in YN. She pulled Rosé into a hug and refused to let her go, terrified at the thought of what could have happened to her friend. "It's alright, I'm here." Rosé dug her head into YN's neck using her scent to calm her nerves and trying to muffle her cries. Already she could feel the sympathetic stares of some of the officers. Out of the corner of her eye, YN saw someone approaching his bloodshot eyes, and the tall way in which he stood made it seem like he owned the place.

"I told you to call your mate, not your girlfriend." He remarked voice dull yet mocking. Rosé stepped away from YN turning towards him, "I don't have a mate and my brother isn't answering." Her tone was meek and eyes were downcast, YN knew she wasn't a confrontational person and this event likely further caused her to become more introverted. The cop rolled his eyes, "Where is your mate then?" He turned his attention towards YN, now she could see the name inscribed on his uniform: Officer Hwang. "I don't have one." Her tone was too blunt, YN knew she could see the way his eyebrows raised at it.

           “Don’t lie to me, I can see your mark.”

           “I don’t have a mate.”

Annoyance was now visible in Hwang's tone before his eyes widened. "Ah, now I get it." The officer turned back towards one of his colleagues and called out, "Bo, it seems we have a cat house on our hands." Rosé's eyes widened and YN spoke quickly, words tumbling out of her mouth. "No. You're misunderstanding." Bo had already stood up from his desk and was making his way towards them.  

           “Ladies if you could please follow me.”

The two of them were talking over each other trying to explain the situation, but the officers had made up their minds about what was occurring. YN cast a glance around the room trying to find anyone who could help them, but everyone kept their eyes downward. They'd been titled as prostitutes and it would be difficult to change people's minds. Officer Bo guided them, pushed would've been a better term, towards the basement where the holding cells were.

           “Please sir, you’ve misunderstood.”

           Officer Hwang shrugged, a cruel smirk on his face. “Call your alpha then and everything will be solved.” YN resigned herself as they were dragged downstairs and locked up.

Rosé and YN were separated in different cells while a guard stood watching. Tears streamed endlessly down her best friend's face, whilst YN told herself that hers were tears of frustration rather than humiliation at everything that had occurred tonight. Eventually, as they hit the two-hour mark the guard spoke up, "I'd call your mates if I were you. The boarding house bus swing's by at nine." Both omegas stilled in fear at his words. YN turned towards Rosé, "Ro can't you try your brother?" She was pleading with her friend, but Rosé shook her head. "He won't come." There was something she wasn't telling her, but YN figured now was not the moment to press it.

           “Don’t you know someone who can help YN? What about Mark?”

Mark would be no help, considering everything that went down at the date it would be a further embarrassment to ask him to come to pick her up at the station. If he even answered that is. Unless? No, there was no way. Her pride wouldn’t be able to take it.

            "Thirty minutes, girls."

It seemed as if fate was pushing her into a corner. YN had heard about what kind of things occurred to Omega's who were taken to the boarding house, it was not a nice place. It certainly didn't provide the comfort or protection that was promised to unmated troubled omegas. Hesitantly YN cleared her throat, "Can I please make a call?"

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