#i felt so miserable today
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suguru... u represent me....
#i felt so miserable today#massive headache rn#he looks so dead to the world in the first one#he's... kinda cute#suguru <33#jjk <33#suguru geto#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen
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Old retired warlord doodles
#transformers#maccadam#megatron#idw transformers#mtmte#lost light#i mean... he isn't THAT old (he's younger than Drift and barely older than Rodimus) but he's a tired old spark xD#felt awful today so i decided to doodle this man with no darn references#was too miserable to dig those up#feeling a bit better now. thanks megs#wish art
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⚔️🦈
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#floyd leech#suntails#adding tags retroactively bc i dont want to be too worrying. so ppl know my brother almost tried to . and i had to take care of it#and i got a 900 dollar medical bill today. and im unemployed. so it um. kinda broke the last straw. and twt has been miserable to touch#got in a small fight w my friend and i felt physically sick and ive been having little mini breakdowns like 3 times a day and im not used t#i dont get sad like this. i dont GET soul-crushingly upset. i dont get nervous. i normally j shut down and get thru stuff so im rly lost#sry for the vent i dont intend for it to act as such. i j wanted to give context for whats been going on bc a lot of ppl here r tumblr-Only#i rly liked this when i drew it bc i love silly meme outfits. i drew minions a lot when i was into hq so it felt like returning to my roots#im sure when i feel less empty ill be happy w this again
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Bucky's poll
#mota#buck x bucky#gale cleven#clegan#mota polls#i'm miserable today so i felt like doing another fun poll
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she has the biggest chokehold on me
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mafuyu asahina#25 ji nightcord de#niigo#puroseka#you can see i felt so miserable today just by the way i draw her#better she's drawn - worse i was feeling#thats a fun feature
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Jean Valjean in Les Misérables 5.9.5/The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry/Saturn, by Sleeping At Last
#les miserables#les mis#jean valjean#lm 5.9.5#just a little web weaving for today’s les mis letters#even though I haven’t really been following along this year#does this mean anything? idk but I thought of these two things#the last time I read it and Valjean said that#and it felt meaningful to me so I thought I’d share
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Can't write can't draw can't do anything
#but i took my dog on a walk today and for a brief second the sun felt so warm on my face and the breeze was so pleasent even in february#i don't know where i'm going with this#i'm miserable more times than i'm not#but the days are getting longer and the sun feels warmer and maybe things will get better soon#i *hope* things get better soon
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theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh
#taylor.txt#im miserable primarily for other reasons right now but i dont think i appreciated how much this just…wouldnt feel like anything#i think especially in my case as someone who so desperately needed ‘going away to college’ to get out of my childhood situation#and now for the past 5 years everything ive done has been for the purpose of getting my degree and finishing school#like im fine i guess i just kind of wish i could feel proud of myself or happy its over instead of like dreading the ceremony and feeling#like everything i have to do for grad is just one more thing i have to check off a list. getting my grad photos done felt nice but idk#it kind of feels like no one really cares which. idk why i would expect it to NOT feel that way. but yeah#tl;dr im around Kinda…need to finish stuff up but im over the really busy part of this all. kinda just coasting to the end here tbh#when this is over i’m gonna get to my request fics. prommy. wanted to do them over the long weekend but i was sick :(#anyway like to be clear im fine. people have been pointing out today i seem down and i think embarrassingly a collection of my students#noticed me crying on the bus today but thats life i guess you make do. im sad and thats ok. tbh
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Sorry ur guy is sick :( how is he doing?
Better than yesterday but not great 😔
#not snz#yesterday he was just miserable like i felt so fucking bad#kept switching between not wanting to be touched at all and being kinda clingy#today's been way better but i know he's still not feeling good 😔#mostly just watching TV and cuddling and he's been napping a lot#and i made bread 😌 bc i made dough yesterday so it could rise overnight 😌#and he liked it so I'm getting a good grade in relationship 😌#partner posting
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reading my fic planning as a bedtime story and then tomorrow. perhaps. you know.
#mine#haven't Sat Down to Write in so long maybe tomorrow is the day#felt Physically Miserable today lol otherwise i mightve started today. but oh well
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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Hm
#i think im being taught a lesson about how to deal with loneliness#was i alone today? no. technically not. but i certainly felt lonely even with my friends#a feeling i wish id left behind in high school#i was like AH. I understand now. this is loneliness ive been feeling all week#anyway what is the point of this post? i am simply tired of being medium miserable and am oddly glad to understand WHY i feel so out of#sorts. it isnt just the hormones lol its the general loss of community post old church#and the continuing revelations that things were NOT okay in fact were even worse than i thought at the time#like 😭😭😭 we do live in a fallen world. still. hate to see it
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pretend i did not send the prev ask ANYWAYS how was your day 🧘♀️
it was better today for a change
i sat with this girl and we listened to songs all day she said she's getting into taylor swift and i kinda got overexcited and told her about the folklore triangle because she had listened to a lot of august of reels and she likes it and she was like oh damn that's awesome and when i played her betty and she sang im only 17 i don't know anything but i know i miss you she rolled her eyes and made a face and was like ugh every playboy ever WHICH MADE ME SO HAPPY and then she made me listen to some punjabi songs and i liked them and we finally settled on MY bollywood playlist and she liked it i was so proud and we were talking about how awesome taylor is cause she writes all her own songs and i told her do yk she has a 10 min song and she was like omg really send me so yes ill send her the mv today and i hope she likes it
#also there's this guy he's one year younger than us we kinda hang out everyday we don't talk a lot just lament about being miserable#and wanting to go home and today i was sitting with this girl na so we didn't talk so at the end of the day he was like#kya hua sab theek and i was like nahi kuch theek nahi so he laughed and was like kya hua bohot kaam hai kya and i complained about the ac#not working so he was giving all these suggestions like yahan baith ja yahan hava aayegi idk it probably meant nothing#but it felt nice felt like he was checking up on me 🥹#okay that's it that was my day how was yours#vio love
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finally got a job but i had my make my name tag and i gave them my deadname so i just got to use stickers to agonizingly place each letter of my deadname down as i’m actively getting called it and she/her the entire time
#miserable!!!!#feeling dysphoric asf#also my manager said the r slur not even half an hour into meeting me lol!! i feel safe /lie#also also it’s work policy that if i bring a bag or backpack in the manager has to check it before i leave each shift#to make sure we don’t leave with any product aka steal from them LOLOL#i make literally 9.50 an hour to get yelled at by customers girl i’m not stealing anything#also i live in a pretty red state so i just Do Not feel safe outing myself at work rn otherwise i would’ve given them my actual name ://#i also clicked female for gender and felt sick to my stomach#anyway! i feel terrible ngl#i need to try and make that anderperry edit today perhaps#silas speaks#trans#transmasc#trans ftm#transmasculine#transgender#queer#tboy swag#transblr#trans community#trans vent#deadname
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why has this entire month been like this -_-
#pip.txt#ugggggggh today has been BAD bad#what if i just disappeared for a while then return and everyone has to pretend i didn’t disappear out of nowhere. ok? ok.#i genuinely feel awful. physically and mentally and idk if this feeling will go away#this semester has actually been the worst which is absurd considering it’s been my shortest#and i can’t help but feel miserable. if i’m not actively doing homework i’m agonizing over it#my first chem test TANKED my grade so the feelings warranted#also. need to change up how i look cause it’s making me feel terrible again#this is embarrassing -_- last time i felt this much anguish was from 12-16. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE#anywaaaaaay. gonna do more note taking now. hopefully i can start the webassign tomorrow and maybe go to tutoring at least once
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.
#was like today rly is a go lie in bed and be miserable day (pms)#but then i went to lie in bed and was like yanno what let me cuddle w my 2 fave plushies for the first time in Many Month#and then i immediately felt better :3#PSA go cuddle w stuffed animals to self soothe!!!#ngl i do need to cry for no reason for a little while :( siighh.....#Little Tissue i love u sm <3 ive had her since i was a newborn. not my oldest plushie tho#also kitty <3 ive had her since primary school 5th year. so i think like 2 months before i turned 9? yea. math 😎👍#mine
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