#he looks so dead to the world in the first one

[fangsandfeels]

It's not that Rook as a project manager/leader/decision-maker doesn't work or has no value. However, what bothers me is that Rook feels like they literally exist to fulfill that role, but they have no part in the story.

For instance, in DAO Warden ends up with the mission to save Ferelden because there is nobody else. The King is dead, their Grey Warden mentor is dead, everyone is too busy playing politics - and the Warden just happened to survive. However, at the same time, they also have stakes of their own. They all have their reasons to go on, to do all that:

Cousland: "I will find and kill Howe for what he did to my family"

Aeducan: "I will take back my throne from my traitor brother"

Tabris: "If darkspawn reach Denerim, nobody will bother to protect the Alienage, so I must do my best for Shianni and all the people there" // "I will kill every fucking shem in my way and I'm not letting the Blight take it from me"

Mahariel: "I lost my best friend to the taint and I almost died myself. I must make sure my people are safe from it, whatever it takes."

Amell: "I narrowly avoided the Rite of Tranquility in my own Circle and there is no place for me anywhere else, so I better get used to this Grey Warden thing" // "Fuck yeah! I got my freedom and no templars, no darkspawn will ruin it for me!"

Surana: "I narrowly avoided the Rite of Tranquility in my own Circle and there is no place for me anywhere else because I am a mage and as an elf I have slim chances of not being harassed in the first place. I really need to make this Grey Warden thing work."

Brosca: "I didn't survive this long just to die here. I will keep climbing out of this pit and nobody will ever look down on me"

These reasons make the Warden more than just a placeholder for team leader - they make the Warden a person with their unique struggles, motivations, and experiences.

In DAI, the Inquisitor is less detailed, but they are put in a unique situation - they have The Thing in their hand and now people think they're the Messiah. Also, the local Pope is dead, there is a gaping hole in the sky and people are losing their shit, and The Thing seems to be the key to dealing with all of that, so the Inquisitor literally has to be the leader.

(Let's ignore the fact that the Inquisitor is also appointed the leader because they can be conveniently turned into a scapegoat for the enraged mob should something go wrong.)

The Inquisitor can be a fierce believer committed to the cause. They can be a reluctant leader and a loud non-believer, but their motivation is clear: I'm dealing with this shit not just because it threatens the world, but also it affected me personally.

Rook, however? They lack that nuance and range. They join Varric behind the scenes for no other reason than "cuz saving our planet is a thing to do!". Moreover, somehow they instantly buy Varric's story that must sound like some tinfoil hat level insanity:

"Alright, so elven gods are real and one of them is hanging around right now and he wants to explode the Veil and drown the word in demons. Wanna join me and stop him? It'll be fun. Yeah, he is literally a god who can kill you in your sleep and you're the only person I've recruited so far, I think our odds are good."

After all, in DAO the darkspawn threat is obvious and very hard to ignore: Mahariel gets the firsthand experience, Aeducan and Brosca' city is literally under constant threat, and the rest of Wardens get a glimpse of what the darkspawn will do to Ferelden in Orzammar. There is no denying the necessity to fight them. But Solas, though? He is subtle. Racism and prejudice against elves play in his favor. The only people who understand the threat are the ones he revealed his secret to.

So, why does Rook join Varric without a shadow of doubt, especially if they aren't even exiled from their faction (more like asked to take a break)? They obviously has a place to return to and things to do, why get yourself involved?

In other words, Rook lacks personal reasons and deeper motivation to go after Solas, which makes them look inauthentic and awkward (even though they're supposed to be capable and skilled) because there is no essence to their interactions.

Moreover, there could be reasons.

Maybe, they lost someone due to Solas' machinations and actions, they realized that there was something mysterious about the tragedy and felt like they were going insane until they crossed paths with Varric who gave them answers.

Maybe they got framed by Solas' spies and lost their place in their faction, their political status, everything - so they literally have no other option but to start beef with a literal god.

Maybe they were one of the slaves freed by Solas' agents but realized that he expects them to die for him now, which rubbed them the wrong way.

It is a compelling reason: to find the mysterious and supposedly powerful being, to be able to thwart its scheming, to ask "Remember me?" right in their face or to demand answers. It's a powerful motivation to keep going, to gather allies and work with people. It would have even made Solas getting stuck in Rook's head more impactful and allowed for more personal and sharper conversations.

In fact, now I think that if Rook got absolutely wrecked due to Solas actions (as a collateral damage) and became a down on their luck depressed mess or a restless seeker of answers putting themselves into dangerous situations, it would have made for a much more protagonist.

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[katakaluptastrophy]

This is your semi-regular reminder that for all that he very much leans into being 'just a guy', John Gaius is a horribly unsettling and disturbing eldritch entity who has not been entirely human for 10,000 years:

As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you... I hid you in me. And when we were together... I became God..

We're repeatedly told how uncanny Alecto was. And how terribly ordinary-looking John is...but how deeply, deeply upsetting his eyes are to behold. They're repeatedly described as "monstrous" (on one occasion, directly before John jokes "I'm not a monster"), as well as "terrible", "like dead planets", "primordial", "chthonic", "inconceivable", and "deeply fucked up".

There are multiple descriptions of how his down to earth persona suddenly falls away and he can be seen as something infinitely more awful:

"terrible divinity clung to his skin"

"It was the first time that he had seemed at all mortal. Humanity touched him briefly, like a passing shadow"

"He was no longer human. He was immortal again"

"He was always somehow more alive than everyone else around him, and yet dislocated from what you considered living. A man-shaped eclipse."

"The Emperor of the Nine Houses - the Resurrection - the First Reborn - sat at the end of the table, his plain face splattered with gore, and his eyes were the death of light."

There's one moment in particular where Harrow perceives him as something vastly beyond human:

his great immortal age - of an enormous distance between you, of an ignition too bright for you to conceive. You were an insect standing before a forest fire. You were a cell holding a heart.

(Though of course Harrow herself is far from metaphysically straightforward - in the River, Gideon says "You were a sigil: you were an intermingled fire...you were a hunger without a stomach...")

When John describes Resurrection Beasts to Harrow - although we do not yet know that this is a confession of murder and of a sort of cannibalism by a part man, part planet - he is "lit from beneath by electric lighting, the gleam in his eyes black and wet. You caught him moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue."

Even when he's not obviously being an eldritch thing, his very normal crown of foetal bones moves on its own, and the white rings in his eyes are described as flickering. Even blithely sitting in a Cohort Admiralty meeting munching peanuts, John is in constant, unsettling motion.

As if that doesn't already sound unpleasant enough, it seems rather like there is something physically discomforting about making eye contact with John. Looking on those white rings is likened to "dying" and "a migraine", and described as "scalding".

It still hurt you a little, to look into his terrible eyes... You had never become used to it.

Making eye contact with John doesn't just cause physical pain. It also seems to open you up to some degree of suggestion or compulsion. Here's Gideon's description of making eye contact with John:

God looked at me...and held my gaze. It was this that pinned us in place. When those white rings hovered on someone else, the blood rushed back to your brain; when they flickered back to me, I went white and blank again, mute and stupid, a floating outline... Those white-ringed eyes closed, and your heart almost relaxed in your chest.

Which seems to place two incidents that otherwise might be explained as Harrow's difficulty refusing the man she has been raised to worship as god in a different light:

It still hurt you in an undefinable way, to see him lowered so: as though he offered a compliance test where you ought to flatten yourself in front of him as low as you could go. The white ring around his pupil was so white.

He looked at you as though he were glad to see you... some nameless softening in his face and those white-tinged, primordial eyes. He reached out for your hands. You could not refuse him, and in any case had no choice of doing so; your body reacted long before your mind did, and the meat of your meat and the flesh of your flesh belonged to God

I don't think we're nearly frightened enough of John... Or of the prospect of John and Alecto - the man who became god and the god who became man - reunited (even if at odds) in ATN...

[chongoblog]

THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN STEEL BALL RUN WITHOUT CONTEXT

The President of the United States wants the corpse of Jesus Christ

A Native American enters a horserace across the country on foot. He wins the first stretch

Man in his 50s marries teenager (Trust me, this is the preferable option here)

Scratch fleas off your horse to attack your opponent with dinosaurs

The president's wife is very bisexual

One character is basically a walking joke about a J-Pop song. The battle itself is a game of Battleship.

Jesus tells the main character to shoot himself (it works)

Lucy Steel and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

Balloon animals are scary

A horse drawing on the wall will heal your wounds

You can kill the President as many times as you want, but you have to get kicked by a horse if you want it to stick

What do smoke, water, and bees all have in common? They're all bombs

A crossdressing nun will heal you with a flesh spray can

Curse of Be Stuck In Philadelphia Forever

Georgia Man wins thanks to the special ability of some dude on his shoulder cheering him on

Bug bite fetishes are discussed

There are three Italians and two of them are great with their balls

Wekapipo's ability is to take away everything that's left

The climax simultaneously takes place in New Jersey, Philadelphia, and in the Atlantic Ocean

A British jockey is killed because a girl gives him head.

President's escape plan includes getting run over by a train

Risking the penalties of copyright is a filthy act that costs an unreasonable price

In a world where walking in the desert can give you superpowers, one guy who walked in the desert came back from the dead and can keep bugs in his body for completely unrelated reasons

The character with the least heterosexual cowboy hat ever seen has the ability to make kinky sex INCREDIBLY interesting

Sometimes a family is just 11 people who look exactly the same all coming to kill you

One character died because it stopped raining

The president's name is Funny Valentine

One of the bad guys was a Confederate soldier who was so bad at his job, he could be considered a notable contribution to the Union's victory.

Three people shoot the protagonist at the same time. Kind of. I mean, hold on, let me just-

One of the characters who helped kick off the events of the story in the previous universe is reincarnated as a fortune teller whose only contribution is to tell someone that he's really lucky.

Ringo Roadagain

Ringo Roadagain

Ringo Roadagain

Ringo Roadagain

Pork Pie Hat Kid

[bitchface24-7]

Absolutely angsty idea, reader is a mortician and after JayVik disappear with the Hexcore they work on their funeral shroud and grapple with the feelings of being left behind. 😌

WAITING FOR YOU… - JAYVIK X READER

synopsis: they’re dead. Your boys are dead. You’ve always held sympathy and empathy for the dead, caring for them, cleaning them up, ensuring they look just as their families remember them; it’s your job. But you boys are dead. And there’s no bodies to care for. So you make a shroud for them with items of there’s to burn in the furnace, it’s the best you’ll get. Your boys are dead, and you’re alone.

warnings: major character death, feelings of loss, mourning, depression, remembrance, angst, implied suicide, pre-established relationship

genre: m/m/f or m/m/m

p.s. now why would you do this? This was a great request and such an interesting plot idea, but goddamn it’s sad :(

The lyrics are from “Time in a Bottle” by Jim Croce. It was between this or “Fourth of July” by Sufjan Stevens

If I could save time in a bottle

The first thing that I'd like to do

Is to save every day

'Til eternity passes away

Just to spend them with you

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your boys are dead, you know it deep down. You swear you felt your heart stop when theirs did. You weren’t there for their death, you don’t even know what caused it, but they’re gone.

And they’re not coming back.

As a mortician, you care for the dead. You give them the honour and respect they deserve. You clean them, care for them, make them look like themselves so the families and friends can grieve in peace. It’s your job.

You never thought you’d have to do your job on your two loves.

They were so young, just barely in their thirties. Full of bright ideas and world changing plans. But things got out of hand, people got hurt. People died. Your boys died.

So now you’re here, in your mortician lab crying silently as you sit by your desk. There are no bodies. Nothing to remember them by, as if they never even existed.

You were all supposed to grow old together, live your lives, and love each other unconditionally.

But they’re gone now, they left together. And you’re all alone.

You know it wasn’t planned, but your heart still aches. It’ll ache until the day you die. You can’t imagine a world without them in it, but now you have to.

You’ll make a shroud for them. Just one. They died together, you’ll bury them together. You just need some items of theirs to use.

So you have to go to their lab.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

If I could make days last forever

If words could make wishes come true

I'd save every day like a treasure and then

Again, I would spend them with you

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Their lab is a wreck. Broken windows, papers on the ground, their desks are splintered, the blackboard is ruined.

You see their wheelie chairs, and you break down sobbing. You remember how they’d sit there and bicker. Work on equations and prototypes. How your conversations would flow late into the night as you all sat by one another and appreciated the company. You’ll never get that again, your boys are dead.

And you’re all alone.

You pick some things to put in their shroud. Some pens, notebooks, a few hexgems, you even take a spare cane and hammer.

They’re your boys, and they deserve a proper burial. Even if you can’t give them one.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

But there never seems to be enough time

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

I've looked around enough to know

That you're the one I want to go

Through time with

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You go back to your lab, ensuring none of the other residents of the academy or the enforcers see you. You won’t let them stop you from honouring them, both of them. You can already see how Viktor will be forgotten, ignored, and villainized. You won’t let that happen, you’ll never forget him.

You’ll never forget his passion for helping others, helping the world. His sarcasm, his humour, how sweet he was.

No, you’ll never forget him.

You’ll never forget Jayce either.

But the rest of Piltover won’t forget Jayce. They’ll purposely leave out Viktor, and you won’t allow Viktor’s greatest fear come true.

You won’t allow him to be forgotten.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

If I had a box just for wishes

And dreams that had never come true

The box would be empty

Except for the memory

Of how they were answered by you

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You finish the shroud, a basic linen fabric. You put all their items inside as carefully as you can. This is their stuff, it’s them. It’s a replacement, but it’s good enough. You won’t harm your boys, they’ve already been through enough.

You hum a melancholic melody as you write their names on a slip of paper. Your scrawl encapsulating the love you have for them, and your loneliness. You won’t ever see their smiles again, hear their laughter, watch them grow old.

You just pray as the years catch up to you you never forget them. You’re one of the only people who’ll remember the real them.

You place your shroud onto the incinerator and gently place the slip of paper on top. You start the fire and conveyor belt, and watch as your two boys leave you for one final time.

You can’t help but whine when you see them enter the blaze, the paper incinerating almost instantly as the shroud slowly burns. Eventually all that’s left is the cane and the hammer, and it takes a while for them to melt down.

As if they’re fighting, as if they’re trying to stay with you. But they can’t, your sweet boys are dead, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

You know they’d want you to live a long life without them, but you can’t imagine how. How will your life go on without them in it?

Hopefully you can still see them in your dreams.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

But there never seems to be enough time

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

I've looked around enough to know

That you're the one I want to go

Through time with

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

What you don’t know is they can still see you. They see you cry, they see you scream in agony, they see you make their shroud, they see you break and become numb.

They desperately want to reach out to you, they want to comfort you, have you back in their arms as they fight away your worries and fears. They want to kiss your lips and hug you close.

But they can’t.

They don’t know how to get to you.

So they’ll sit and watch as you crumble apart, your sadness enveloping you in ways they’ve never seen before.

And they’ll pray.

They’ll pray to gods they don’t believe in anymore to save you, help you, love you. Maybe they can visit you in your dreams, maybe they can comfort you in the dead of night.

They just hope you don’t follow in their footsteps. Their hearts wouldn’t be able to take it.

(You do.)

(And their hearts shatter.)

I wrote this like the flash. Honestly the prompt really inspired me and it absolutely shattered my heart. Wtf y’all, get your tissues ready cause this is a doozy.

[y0ur-lovrr]

-Some comfort.

A/n: Hi!! This is my first written piece and I’m sorry if it’s bad lol, any tips to write better is appreciated! <3

-no use of y/n, cs I hate that personally. I’m new to the tumblr thing so i apologize if it’s bad. Gn!reader, I don’t think I put any specific pronouns into this, but then again I didn’t proofread it, so apologies in advance.

Pairing- Chishiya shuntarou x reader <3

—“Seems like we’ve lost our partner.”

Chishiya hums,his voice calm and smooth as it always is,but you can catch the small clear glimpse of disappointment in it.

“You were too kind for a game like this, ippei.” He mumbles under his breath, staring at the body of his now dead partner on the floor of his solitary confinement cell, his head exploded off from the collar-blood all over the place. But because of his experience of being a med student, the blood didn’t really bother him-like anything bothered him, really. He was always as calm as a swimming pool.

But for you it was different. It bothered you-a whole lot. Throughout this stupid game you had grown to like ippei, having the thought that he would make it out of this game, like you and chishiya. But he didn’t.

Sniffles coming from chishiya’s side caught his attention, letting out a small hum and turning his head to look at you, hands casually shoved into the pockets of his white jacket.

There you stood beside him, eyes staring down at the scene in front of you, chest lightly heaving as your eyes are already tear filled, your bottom lip trembling as you try to not let any tears fall. His eyes analyze you, watching thoughtfully as he sees the way your fingers twitch at your sides, your eyes slightly wide and pupils slightly dilated. Clearly on the verge of having a breakdown, about to turn into a sobbing mess.

Everything sounds like it’s underwater in your ears, the voices of the other players down the hall are muffled, along with the sound of your breathing, for once even your thoughts are silent. Not even realizing how tears start to stream down your cheeks, unable to tear your eyes away from the body on the floor-the sight of his blood making you feel sick. You couldn’t help it..you knew that ippei killed himself cause he didn’t want to play anymore.

He truly was too sweet for this messed up place, you and chishiya both knew that.

“It’s unfortunate, I know.” Chishiya mumbles as he looks at you, shifting his feet to face you, slightly raising an eyebrow as you don’t move. He’s actually starting to grow concerned about you, he knew you’d cry-but not break like this, it was almost unnerving how you were just standing there.

He says your name, not once, but twice, but it’s as if you couldn’t hear him. It’s only when he lightly grasps onto your shoulder that you turn to look at him, sputtering out a ‘huh?’.

Before he can get a word out you cut him off with a small sob, your hands lifting to wipe your tears, you didn’t like crying, he knew that. He couldn’t help but notice how hard your hands were being with your face, wiping the flowing tears so hard that your cheeks are starting to turn red from the constant touching.

“I-I thought we had it under control…I thought we were all getting out of here together—“ you mutter out to chishiya between sniffles, your body starting to slightly tremble as you try to comfort yourself by wrapping one of your arms around your abdomen while the other continues to stay wiping your cheeks.

He doesn’t let you say another word, unusually bringing a hand out to you and placing it on your shoulder in a soothing manner, trying to be comforting to you. And it was working, honestly.

“He was too kind for this game, but we still have eachother, right?” He hums, just letting you cry, watching as you nod your head in reply, mumbling under your breath. He couldn’t understand your mumbling, but he doesn’t mention it.

To be honest, this was a little heartbreaking to watch. To him, you were too kind for this world to, just like ippei, even though it hasn’t screwed you over yet. He didn’t want it to either. You were too nice, too pure, too kind. He saw how you comforted other players during the game, or another game he met you in a while ago-a spades one to be exact. The same one he met Arisu, tag.

He saw how you dove towards someone else to save them from the tagger and their gun, almost getting yourself killed in the process-but the grin you flashed the lady made it worth it to you. But this was your breaking point, it seems. But he can’t blame you, who knows the amount of people you’ve seen die in these games.

“We’ll get through this. We’re smart aren’t we?” He says with a slight smirk, but it falters slightly as he sees it doesn’t work on you like it has before.

“For ippei?” He draws on, slightly raising an eyebrow at you, and huffs out a breath as he watched you lift your head and nod your head, mumbling back, finally getting your breath back.“For ippei..”

He then just lift his hand to your hair and lightly ruffles it and places it back on your shoulder, guiding you away from the scene. And you let him, knowing you both would protect eachother from now on, you both wanting to get out of this game.

[sweetmisery]

first kiss with piwon | maknae line

pairing: intak | soul | jongseob x female!reader

genre: fluff

a/n: pt 2 of sharing your first kiss with piwon, hope you like it :)

part 1 - hyung line

INTAK - Nervous Hearts

The cozy hum of the restaurant surrounded you, warm candlelight flickering between you and Intak as you sat at your table. The soft clink of silverware and low chatter of other diners created a soothing atmosphere, but you couldn’t help noticing how nervous Intak seemed.

His fingers fidgeted with the edge of his napkin, his gaze darting between you and the menu as if he were afraid to mess up even the simplest decision. You tried to keep the mood light, but a part of you wondered why he was so tense.

Then again, maybe you already knew.

Earlier in the week, Theo had let slip the reason for Intak’s nervousness.

“So,” Theo started, resting his arms on the guitar he was lazily strumming minutes before as he leaned back in his chair. “Intak likes you.”

Your heart skipped. The words hit you like a soft blow, and for a second, you weren‘t sure if you heard him right. “Wait- what?” you blurted, sitting up straighter.

Theo laughed, shaking his head. “You heard me.”

The disbelief bubbled up, and yet… it didn‘t. Not completely. You blinked at him, trying to piece together your thoughts, but all you can picture is Intak - confident, easygoing Intak - stumbling over his words the last time he talked to you. The way he avoided your eyes and suddenly seemed more interested in his shoelaces. The way his smile lingered just a little too long before he quickly looked away, a faint pink dusting his cheeks.

“You’re serious?” you asked, your voice quieter now.

“Dead serious.” Theo grinned, setting the guitar aside. “He told me himself.”

The admission sent another jolt through you. Intak told Theo? Theo, your protective, overbearing older brother? The idea was almost laughable.

“And?” you pressed, your curiosity outweighing your shock. “What did you say?”

Theo leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees as he gave you a pointed look. “I gave him the big-brother talk, of course.”

Your brows furrowed. “The big-brother talk?”

“You know, the ’don‘t hurt her or else‘ talk.” He shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Told him I’ll break his nose if he hurts you, that kind of thing. He looked like he was about to faint, though. Honestly, I think the guy’s more scared of disappointing you than me.”

You had just stared at him, completely floored. "You're unbelievable," you had muttered, pressing your palm to your forehead.

You were still processing the sheer absurdity of Theo having this conversation with Intak - your Intak, the one who practically radiated self-assurance on stage but turned into a completely different person around you.

Theo picked up his guitar again, strumming a lazy tune like he hadn’t just turned your world upside down. “You’re welcome, by the way,” he said casually.

“For what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For giving him the green light,” he said with a smirk. “Otherwise, he probably would’ve just kept staring at you from across the room like a weirdo.”

You groaned, throwing a pillow at him as he laughed. But beneath the teasing and the embarrassment, there was that same warm feeling growing inside you.

Intak liked you.

Theo’s expression softened, though there was still a mock sternness in voice. “But just so you know, I’m watching him. And you, too.”

Back in the present, you glanced at Intak as he nervously adjusted his silverware, his expression so earnest that you felt your heart soften even more.

“You okay?” you asked gently.

“Y-Yeah,” he said quickly, though his fingers fumbled as he reached for his glass. “I’m fine. Totally fine.”

But as soon as the words left his mouth, his hand slipped, and the glass tipped over. The dark liquid spilled across the table, pooling near your plate and dripping onto your dress.

Intak froze, his eyes wide with panic. “Oh no! I-I’m so sorry!” He frantically reached for napkins, but they scattered from his hands onto the floor.

You couldn’t help it - you laughed. The situation, his reaction, all of it was too endearing.

“Hey, it’s fine,” you said, holding up a hand to stop him before he knocked anything else over. “It’s just a little spill. Don’t worry about it.”

“But your dress-”

“I promise, it’s okay,” you said, smiling to reassure him. “Really.”

He slumped back in his chair, his face burning with embarrassment. “I… I don’t know why I’m so clumsy tonight.”

You tilted your head playfully. “I have a theory.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“You’re probably scared of Theo.”

His startled laugh broke through his nervous energy, and he finally met your gaze, his expression softening. “You’re not wrong about that.”

You grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from him.”

The playful comment seemed to relax him a little, and as the evening went on, the tension between you eased. But his clumsiness wasn’t finished yet.

The cool evening breeze brushing your face softly as you and Intak strolled down the path of the park. Dinner had been a mixture of laughter and clumsiness, but neither of you seemed to mind.

Intak walked a step behind you, his hands tucked nervously into his pockets. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but you could sense his lingering embarrassment from earlier.

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you teased, turning to look at him.

“I just…” He trailed off, looking up at the stars before glancing back at you. “I’m still kind of kicking myself about dinner. I spilled my drink, dropped the napkins… I must’ve looked so ridiculous.”

You stopped walking, stepping in front of him to block his path. “You know what I think?”

His eyes widened slightly as he tilted his head. “What?”

“I think your clumsiness made tonight even better.”

His cheeks turned pink, and he scratched the back of his neck. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m serious,” you said with a soft laugh, nudging his arm. “It’s cute when you’re nervous. You’re adorable, Intak.”

The words seemed to catch him off guard. He ducked his head, a shy smile spreading across his face.

You continued walking, spotting an empty bench under a nearby tree. “Let’s sit for a bit,” you suggested, gesturing toward it.

Intak followed and sat down beside you, though as he did, he misjudged the edge of the bench and nearly fell off. You burst into laughter as he quickly steadied himself, his face turning a deep shade of red.

“I swear I don’t normally do this,” he muttered, groaning.

“Sure, sure,” you teased, still laughing. “You’re just keeping me entertained, right?”

“Something like that,” he mumbled, slouching slightly. Then, his voice grew quieter. “I just… I don’t know why I’m like this tonight.”

You turned to look at him, tilting your head. “You don’t?”

He hesitated, then sighed. “Okay, maybe I do. It’s because… I like you. A lot. And I wanted tonight to be perfect, but instead, I’ve been a walking disaster.”

His honesty made your chest feel warm, and a smile tugged at your lips. “Intak…”

Before he could finish his flustered apology, you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His breath hitched in surprise, and when you pulled back, his wide-eyed expression made you giggle.

He raised a hand to touch his lips, his cheeks glowing red. “Wha… Did you just-”

“Yes, I did,” you said, cutting him off with a grin. “And for the record, tonight was perfect. Exactly because you were you.”

His lips twitched into a sheepish smile, and his gaze softened. “You really mean that?”

“Of course,” you said. “But just to make sure you believe me…” You leaned in again, this time kissing him a little longer.

When you pulled away, Intak looked completely dazed, his face lit up with an awkward yet happy smile. “You’re amazing,” he said quietly.

You laughed softly and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “And you’re adorable. So, stop worrying so much.”

For the first time that evening, Intak relaxed completely. The two of you sat there on the bench, your head resting on his shoulder and your fingers brushing lightly as the night carried on around you.

SOUL - One Step Closer

The clock on your desk blinked 11:47 PM, its numbers glowing faintly in the dimly lit office. Most of the staff had left hours ago, the once-bustling corridors of the label now eerily silent. You rubbed your tired eyes, a small pile of notes and schedules still waiting for your attention. You’d been organizing P1Harmony’s upcoming schedules for weeks, ensuring every detail was perfect. They worked so hard; the least you could do was support them.

As you tidied up your papers, a sudden thought made your stomach sink. My purse. You’d left it in the practice room earlier when you were running errands. Letting out a small groan, you grabbed your jacket and headed for the elevators. The practice room was on the third floor, and with every step closer, you braced yourself for the faint hope it wouldn’t still be locked.

When you arrived, however, the sound of muffled music greeted you through the door. It wasn’t just anyone practicing - this was P1Harmony’s practice room.

Curious, you opened the door cautiously and peeked inside. There he was: Soul.

Dressed in casual sweats and a tank top, his hair slightly damp from sweat, he moved to the beat with precision, repeating the same step over and over. You leaned against the doorframe, watching his determination. His members always joked that he was an “alien,” someone who could be weird and out of this world, but to you, his quirks were nothing short of adorable.

You cleared your throat gently, and Soul spun around, startled. His expression softened when he saw it was you. “Oh, it’s just you,” he said, breathing hard. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied, stepping inside. “It’s so late. Why aren’t you resting?”

He smiled faintly, brushing back a strand of hair from his forehead. “I needed more practice. There are still parts I keep messing up.”

“Messing up?” you echoed, incredulous. “Soul, you were incredible today. Everyone thought so.”

But his smile faltered. He dropped his gaze to the floor, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I’m nervous about the comeback,” he admitted softly. “I don’t want to mess up and disappoint the fans. They expect so much from us, and I… I don’t know if I’m good enough.”

Hearing his doubt struck a chord in you. You’d never seen him so vulnerable before. “Soul,” you said firmly, walking closer. “You’re amazing. You’re one of the most talented dancers I’ve ever seen. Your fans love you, they adore everything about you. There’s no way you could ever disappoint them.”

His eyes met yours, searching, as if trying to find truth in your words. Finally, he sighed and gave a small nod. “Thanks,” he murmured. “I needed to hear that.”

A silence settled between you, comfortable yet charged. Then, out of nowhere, he asked, “Do you want to learn the dance?”

“What?” you laughed, taken aback. “Soul, you know I can’t dance.”

He grinned, his usual playful side returning. “Everyone can dance if they want to. Come on, I’ll teach you.” Before you could protest, he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the center of the room.

For the next few minutes, you stumbled through the choreography, laughing at yourself while Soul patiently guided you through each move. He showed you the steps slowly, his hand resting lightly on your waist as he adjusted your posture or corrected your footing. His touch was warm, grounding, but it also sent butterflies fluttering through your stomach.

You felt at ease with him, even when you messed up. His laughter filled the room, infectious and pure, and you couldn’t help but laugh with him. For a brief moment, it felt like there was no one else in the world but the two of you.

Then it happened. You slipped on the polished floor, your footing giving way. Before you could hit the ground, Soul caught you.

His arm wrapped securely around your waist, his other hand steadying your shoulder. You were so close, his face mere inches from yours. His eyes were wide, his lips parted in surprise. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low.

You nodded, your breath caught somewhere in your chest. The world seemed to slow down as you locked eyes with him. Time hung suspended, the air between you thick with something unspoken.

“Soul,” you murmured, interrupting whatever he was about to say. You leaned in and pressed your lips softly to his.

Soul froze.

The kiss was soft, fleeting, but it carried so much that you’d been holding back for what felt like forever. Your heart raced as you leaned back slightly to gauge his reaction. His eyes were wide, his lips still parted in surprise.

“I… I’m sorry,” you stammered, suddenly unsure. “I didn’t mean to-”

He blinked, snapping out of his trance. “No,” he interrupted quickly, his voice soft. “Don’t be sorry.”

The corner of his lips quirked upward, a small, shy smile spreading across his face. The warmth in his eyes made your chest tighten, and for a moment, neither of you said anything.

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I didn’t plan for you to find out like this,” you admitted, your cheeks burning. “I just… I couldn’t help myself.”

Soul’s smile grew a little wider as he let out a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I guess we’re both full of surprises tonight.”

You chuckled nervously, but before you could say anything else, Soul spoke again. “You know,” he said, glancing down, “sometimes I feel like I’m not… normal. Like, maybe I don’t fit in with everyone else. The guys always joke that I’m weird, and I laugh it off, but…” He paused, his voice trailing off.

Your heart ached at his words. “Soul,” you said gently, reaching for his hand. “That’s what makes you you. The way you think, the way you are - it’s what makes you special. I’ve always loved that about you.”

The word “loved” hung in the air between you, but you didn’t take it back. You wanted him to know.

Soul’s gaze lifted to meet yours again, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made you hold your breath. “You really mean that?” he asked softly.

“Of course,” you replied. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

He nodded, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand. The small gesture sent a wave of warmth through you. Then, after a moment, he tilted his head slightly. “So… does this mean I get to teach you the rest of the dance now?”

You burst out laughing, the tension in the room breaking. “Soul!”

“What?” he said, grinning. “I mean, you’ve got potential. I think we could make a good team.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t help smiling. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re stubborn,” he countered, his grin widening. “But seriously…” He hesitated, then stepped a little closer, his expression softening. “Thank you. For everything you said earlier - and for this.”

Before you could reply, he leaned in and kissed you. This time, the kiss lingered, unhurried and full of unspoken feelings. When he pulled back, his face was tinged with the faintest blush.

“You’re amazing,” he said simply, his voice steady but quiet.

You felt your heart flutter at his words, a smile tugging at your lips. “So are you,” you whispered.

He exhaled deeply, glancing toward the clock on the far wall. “It’s late. We should probably call it a night.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, though part of you didn’t want to leave this moment behind.

As you both made your way toward the door, you paused and turned back to him. “Wait,” you said, and he raised a curious eyebrow.

“What is it?”

“There’s one more thing I need to do before we leave,” you said, stepping closer.

Soul tilted his head, clearly puzzled. “What?”

You leaned in and kissed him again. This time, his lips curved into a smile against yours, and when you pulled back, he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Okay,” he said, laughing softly. “Now we can leave.”

The two of you walked out of the practice room together, the quiet hallways of the label feeling a little less empty as your footsteps echoed side by side.

You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but for now, you were content.

JONGSEOB - Unexpectedly Us

The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky, its golden rays seeping through the narrow windows of the studio as you stepped into the familiar building. Your phone buzzed in your hand, and you glanced at the message again. It was from Jongseob: “Can you come to the studio? I need help with something.”

Your heartbeat quickened, though you weren’t sure why. You had been by his side for years now: his best friend, his constant cheerleader, the one who always answered his calls. But there was something about him asking for your help in moments like this that made you feel… special. Maybe it was because you’d seen his journey from the very start, since the first time he nervously auditioned as a trainee, barely daring to dream of becoming an idol.

When you reached the door to the recording studio, you heard muffled sounds coming from inside. Pushing it open, you saw him immediately. There he was, standing in the booth, long hair tied into a half ponytail, strands falling loosely against his sharp features. He looked frustrated, pacing back and forth, muttering words under his breath as if rehearsing something he just couldn’t get right.

You’d never seen him like this before - so wound up and on edge. Usually, Jongseob radiated a quiet confidence, the kind that came naturally with his undeniable talent. You leaned against the mixing console, watching him for a moment, hesitating to interrupt his thoughts.

Finally, you pressed the button for the booth speaker and said teasingly, “You needed my help?”

The sound of your voice startled him. He jumped slightly and turned toward you, wide-eyed.

“Yah!” he exclaimed, clutching his chest dramatically. “You scared me!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and as your laughter filled the room, his lips curved into a smile. Small at first, but then growing wider, accompanied by that high-pitched giggle you’d always loved.

He stepped closer to the booth window, his hands resting against the glass. “I need help with this rap,” he admitted, his tone softening. “I just… I can’t get it right.”

You nodded and took a seat on the other side of the console. “Alright. Show me what you’ve got so far.”

As he returned to the microphone, you settled in, resting your chin on your hand. Watching him like this, immersed in his work, focused, and pouring his emotions into every line, made your chest tighten in ways you didn’t fully understand. His voice was like a rhythm that only he could master, each word laced with a passion that had always made your heart flutter.

But today, that fluttering feeling was almost overwhelming. You shook your head, trying to focus on helping him, not on the way his jaw tensed when he concentrated, or how his hair fell into his eyes when he tilted his head.

When he finally finished recording the verse, he stepped out of the booth, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. His long hair was slightly disheveled, and his cheeks were faintly pink from exertion.

“Well?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You broke into applause, grinning. “That was amazing. Honestly, I don’t know why you even needed my help.”

He giggled again,higher this time, a little shy, and your heart clenched. You wanted to freeze this moment, to hold onto the sound of his laugh forever.

“I mean it,” you continued, standing up. “Why do you always call me when you need help? You could ask one of the producers, or someone with more experience-”

“Because…” he interrupted, looking down at his hands. His voice was quieter now, almost hesitant. “Because I feel like whenever you’re around, I’m at ease. The words… they just come naturally when you’re here.”

Your chest tightened, the weight of his confession sinking in.

“Jongseob…” you murmured, unsure of what to say. But before you could gather your thoughts, he looked up at you, his eyes searching yours.

“I’m serious,” he said, his tone firmer this time. “It’s not just today. It’s always been like this. Whenever you’re around, I feel different. And lately…” He trailed off, playing with his fingers nervously. “Lately, it’s been getting stronger.”

“What are you saying?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, he said nothing. Then, he lifted his gaze to meet yours. “I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling yet, but… I know I don’t want to hide it anymore. Not from you.”

Your heart raced, the weight of his words leaving you breathless. You took a step closer to him, his familiar scent enveloping you. “Jongseob…”

He held up a hand, his cheeks flushed. “You don’t have to say anything right now. I know this is-”

“Wait,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “You’re not the only one who feels this way.”

His eyes widened. “You do?”

You smiled, your chest tightening with a mix of nerves and exhilaration. “Yeah. I do.”

He let out a high-pitched giggle, the sound filling the small studio. You couldn’t stop yourself. You took another step toward him, cupping his face gently in your hands. His skin was warm beneath your touch, and his cheeks burned red.

“That laugh,” you said softly, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “That’s exactly why I fell for you.”

His lips parted as if to respond, but before he could, you leaned in, your heart pounding. Your lips brushed his, a tentative, fleeting touch, and the world seemed to pause.

For a second, neither of you moved. The soft press of your lips against his felt both surreal and electric, like a line you’d both been toeing for years had suddenly disappeared. But when you pulled back slightly, just enough to see his expression, you were met with a sight you’d never forget.

Jongseob’s eyes were wide, his lips parted slightly in shock, and his cheeks burned an even deeper shade of red. His long lashes fluttered as he blinked at you, clearly at a loss for words.

“Cat got your tongue?” you teased, your voice light, though your heart was racing.

He opened his mouth, then shut it again, his brows furrowing as he tried to process what had just happened. You couldn’t help but laugh at his expression, it wasn’t often you saw Jongseob so completely flustered.

“Yah,” he finally muttered, his voice low and shaky. He glanced down, avoiding your eyes, but the redness in his cheeks betrayed him. “What was that?”

You tilted your head, pretending to think. “Hmm, I think they call that a kiss.”

He groaned, dragging a hand through his hair as if trying to hide his face. “You’re unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath.

You grinned, stepping closer to him again. “Oh, come on, you’re the one who basically confessed first. What, you didn’t expect me to do something about it?”

“I didn’t expect you to-” He cut himself off, turning his back to you as if to regain his composure. “I was trying to be serious…”

“And I was serious too,” you interrupted, your tone softening. “I meant it when I said I felt the same way.”

He turned to face you again, his eyes meeting yours, and for a moment, the teasing stopped. The air between you grew heavy with unspoken feelings, and you could see the vulnerability in his gaze.

“Really?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re not just… saying that to mess with me?”

You sighed, stepping closer until you were standing right in front of him. “Jongseob, do I look like I’m joking?”

He hesitated, then shook his head. “No,” he murmured.

“Good,” you said with a small smile. Then, unable to resist the chance to tease him again, you added, “But seriously, you should’ve seen your face just now. You looked like a deer in headlights.”

His mouth fell open, and you could see the mixture of embarrassment and indignation flash across his features. “Yah! Don’t do that!”

“Do what?” you asked innocently, biting back a laugh.

“Make fun of me!” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “This is already hard enough, and you’re just- ugh.” He let out a frustrated groan, but you could see the faint smile tugging at his lips despite his protests.

“I’m sorry,” you said, not sounding sorry at all. “But you make it so easy. You’re cute when you’re flustered, you know that?”

“Stop,” he whined, hiding his face in his hands.

Your laughter filled the studio again, and when he peeked at you through his fingers, his pout made your chest ache in the best way. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” you said, raising your hands in surrender. “But seriously, you’re not mad, right?”

He dropped his hands and gave you a long look. “Mad?” He paused, then shook his head, his expression softening. “No. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.”

His words sent a wave of warmth through you, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. The tension between you shifted, turning quieter, sweeter.

“Hey,” you said, breaking the silence. “You know I really do love your giggle, right? It’s kind of my favorite thing about you.”

“Why do you keep bringing that up?” he mumbled, his ears turning red. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing,” you insisted. “It’s adorable. Just like you.”

His eyes widened, and you could see his ears turning an even deeper shade of red. “You’re seriously going to kill me,” he muttered, looking away.

You smiled and reached out, taking his hand in yours. “I mean it, Jongseob. You’re amazing - onstage, in the studio, and… just as you are. You don’t have to figure everything out right now. I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked down at your intertwined hands, his thumb brushing against yours, and when he glanced back up at you, his expression was softer, calmer.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. “For being here. For… everything.”

“Always,” you replied, squeezing his hand gently.

For a moment, it felt like the world outside the studio didn’t exist - just you, him, and the quiet hum of the equipment around you.

And then, because you couldn’t help yourself, you added with a playful grin, “But seriously, next time you call me for ‘help,’ at least give me a warning before you make me fall for you all over again.”

He laughed - soft at first, then louder, that high-pitched giggle you loved spilling out of him. “You’re so annoying,” he said, shaking his head.

“And yet, here you are, holding my hand,” you shot back.

He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face told you everything you needed to know.

© sweetmisery - please do not repost my works! ♡

[torturedtypewritersdept]

blue eyes + bruises - part five

✯ pairing:

doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader

✯ summary:

a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.

✯ warnings:

mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :) the next chapter i spent literally so much time on and i can't wait to share it!!!!

—

Running. Rafe had always been inherently good at running. It was noticed for the first time in middle school by the track and field coach when he outran a bully. The talent was nurtured and he went on to be a track star in high school and college. It was a good skill for a surgeon to have in the midst of an emergency, the ability to run with dexterity and endurance and speed. At least that’s what Molly had convinced him of so she could ogle at his muscular thighs and chest at every track meet. God, did he miss her. The one thing he never thought he would have to run to is his girl, his wife, his molly, as she was wheeled into the emergency room. The words of the surgeon on her case played over and over in Rafe’s head – no matter where he was or what he was doing – the flashback of that night, of those words in that setting – about his wife – it was all too much, no matter how long she had been gone. 

“Rafe, I’m so sorry. We did everything we could.” 

Dr. Charles Richardson looked his colleague, his friend, in the eye with a somber gaze. It felt to Rafe like the look of someone after they had spent an entire afternoon reading Edgar Allen Poe. The look in Charles’ eye made him angry. It wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because he knew what the look meant – it meant his wife was gone. It meant Charles was looking at him the way he looks at a patient’s family and Rafe, while he was her family, he knew the speech, he knew the words, he knew this world. He knew it was all bullshit.

“Don’t bullshit me, Charles. If my wife is dead, tell me she’s dead.”  

He growled. 

“I’m sorry, Rafe.” 

“You keep saying you’re sorry – say the fucking words. I need to hear you say the words. Not ‘I did everything I could’, not ‘I'm so sorry.’ You say the fucking words you coward.” 

“She’s gone, buddy. She’s gone.” 

—

Rafe was jolted out of his thoughts, out of the memory he had been encapsulated in for the last two years as you stirred awake. He sat there watching you, the steady rise and fall of your chest doing little to comfort him, though he knew it meant you were alive. His eyes moved from your sweet face to your leg that he had previously operated on, a black hinged brace lined it where it sat elevated against three pillows in an attempt to keep the swelling minimal. You looked so fragile, yet incredibly ethereal and soft and he couldn’t help but stare. It was impossible not to stare at something, someone that beautiful. To grow up that beautiful — he wondered what that was like as he sat there ogling at you. He pondered if he should let himself go there with you, if he could let himself feel the rush and the high of serotonin and dopamine that he clinically knew would be released if he was to allow himself to love again. Was he selfish for wanting to be happy? Was he chaos on two feet? Was he damnation on earth the way that he had convinced himself he was? What would become of you, if you were to love him? Would you wind up just like her? 

He forced his overactive brain to stop spinning once he noticed your eyes were open and he brushed his fingers against your forehead. 

“Hey, sweet girl. Welcome back.” 

He cooed, his fingers running up and down the bridge of your nose and across your eyebrows in the shape of a “T”. 

“Hi.” 

You croaked out, throat dry and begging for a source of water. Rafe obliged, rising to his feet as his brain recognized your desperation, hearing the desert within your windpipe and bringing the water up to your lips with a straw. 

“Suck slowly, okay?” 

He instructed, running his fingers through your hair slowly and you followed his directions. 

“How’s the pain?” 

He questioned with a softness that you were convinced was less about him being a good doctor and more about him just being who he was – just being a good person. 

“Like a five maybe. You’re still here?” 

You lied, not wanting to see the life leave his blue eyes when you told him otherwise. 

“That’s good. Yeah, I just wanted to sit with you for a while. Is that okay?” 

He smiled softly, questioning you.

“Of course it is. Can I go back to sleep? I mean, will you be here when I wake up if I do?” 

You questioned, a curiosity looming in your features, unsure why you would’ve stayed up if it meant more time with him.

“Absolutely, sweet girl. I’ll always be here.” 

He smiled, sitting next to you, rubbing soothing circles into the top of your head as you drifted off to sleep. You weren’t sure what it was, but you knew that he was telling the truth, that somehow he’d always be around.

—

You looked up at Rafe as he moved around you, fluffing the pillows behind your head, you sat at an incline in the bed again, trying desperately to reach the tv remote that sat on the table beside you. He had been talking – asking you questions about your day, as if you had done anything except lay here, again. But, all you could think about is the fact that your favorite movie was coming on tv in less than thirty minutes and it was a simple pleasure you were going to indulge yourself in. You shut your eyes tight, squeezing them against your eyelashes with the force of a thousand suns. Rafe must’ve noticed the pained expression on your face because before you could even ride out the wave of discomfort, he had the remote in his hands and he was kneeling in front of you, squatting on the balls of his feet.

“Hey, sweet girl, can you look at me?” 

He asked kindly and when the torment had subsided enough you blinked your eyes open, his piercing blue ones staring back into yours. 

“What is it, from 1-10? and don’t bullshit me this time.” 

His voice was soft but stern and you knew he meant business. 

“It’s a nine.” 

You said, grunting exasperatedly, frustrated and tired and sick – of – this. 

“Shit – sweetheart you can’t let it get that bad before you tell me and why are you putting yourself in more pain by reaching for this? You could’ve asked me, I’m right here.” 

He blurted out his questions in a brash way, waving the remote control in the air.

“My favorite movie is coming on, I just –, sorry, I’m just –” 

A whimper escaped your lips as you stuttered and Rafe moved toward you again, bringing your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, tilting your head up towards him as he took in the tears that lined your eyes. His heart broke at the sight. 

“Hey – I know, sweetheart. You don’t have to be sorry, I know you’re frustrated.” 

“How do you know how I feel?” 

You questioned him with a hint of attitude. In your mind, it didn’t matter how many people he had operated on with your same injuries, he hadn’t lived it and because of that fact, he didn’t understand. 

“Let me guess, you’re frustrated, annoyed, tired, sad and really wanting a shower?” 

He asked you with a light chuckle, smiling the Rafe Cameron smile as you looked up at him with bewildered eyes. 

“How could you possibly know any of that?” 

You questioned him, confused. Did he go through this, physically? Did this sweet, sweet man hurt the same way that you had?

“Because I’ve been where you are.” 

He stated very matter-of-factly and you were confused.

“You cracked your bones in a million places, too?” 

Had he been through this, too?

“No, but I’ve been in a situation that was eerily similar.” 

You were silent at his declaration, wondering what situation he was referring to. 

“I can’t do much for you about a shower, it’s only been three days since your surgery and with you in this much pain, I don’t want you up and moving. But I can have Jenni give you a sponge bath. Would you be up for that?” 

“Yes, please. That would – be amazing.” 

He nodded and gave you the Rafe Cameron smile again, leaning in and placing a kiss on your forehead. Jenni and another nurse stepped into the room with everything they needed, setting up a bucket of water, some hypoallergenic soap and a sponge on the rolling table that each hospital room came with. Once they had everything set up, Rafe stepped out, being the gentleman he was, he wanted you to have privacy and he definitely didn’t want the first time he saw you naked to be in a hospital bed. 

“He’s quite dreamy, isn’t he?” 

A nurse that stood beside Jenni spoke into the air and your breath faltered. Were you that obvious? If this blonde bimbo picked up it – he probably did too. How fucking embarassing. Rafe had left the room only moments ago with a promise to come check on you shortly, but you so desperately wished he would save you from this woman as she stood in front of you preparing to strip you bare and see the most intimate parts of you, though it felt like she already had. 

“He’s very nice to me.” 

You stated, nodding with a soft smile though your tone was a bit curt. Jenni’s pager went off, signaling another emergency in the hall. 

“Shit – I'll be right back.” 

She muttered, running out of the room in a hurried fashion. The other nurse, who’s name you couldn’t bring yourself to remember, looked at the door as Jenni exited through the threshold – you were sure your recollection, or lack thereof, had more to do with the meds and less to do with her and the shitty vibe she gave off. She worked diligently, pulling down the hospital gown, noting the stitches that lined your chest as she drug the sponge gently over your soft skin. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll get you better and forget you ever existed. He won’t give any of us nurses the time of day. Don’t get your hopes up. Besides – look at you.” 

She replied, rolling her eyes as the words left her mouth. ‘What a bitter bitch’, you thought. You bit your tongue for only a moment before deciding to fully send it – there was nothing she could do to you – you were already bedridden, recovering from surgery and would be for the next few months – there was nothing she could do to you. 

“You know, maybe Rafe hasn’t given you the time of day because your personality fucking sucks, just a thought.” 

You spoke nonchalantly and before she could respond, she laid down the sponge she was using to bathe you with on top of your chest, took off her gloves and dug her long, manicured finger into the incision site Rafe had just stitched up on your hip. Your yelp was so loud Rafe heard it from the hallway, where he stood at the nurse’s station, finishing off your surgical notes. Suddenly, the hammering in his chest overtook him and he rushed into your room to see if you were experiencing post-operative pain or if something else was wrong. What he never expected to see was a nurse, finger deep into a surgical incision and you – your sweet face with tears cascading down it as your eyes pleaded for him. 

“What the fuck are you doing to her?!” 

He growled, rushing to your side, pushing her to the side and grabbing gauze off the table next to your bed, immediately holding it to your hip to stop the bleeding. 

“I know, baby – I know it hurts. I’m sorry, I’m gonna fix it, okay?” 

He pulled the gauze away from your hip and Jenni rushed into the room, taking in the sight of your stitches that were fresh and clean and showing signs of healing only minutes ago and were now torn and bloody and frayed like the pages of an old book. 

“What the fuck happened, Rafe?” 

Jenni all but squealed, rummaging through drawers searching for more gauze and a suture kit. 

“F-f-fingers –” 

You choked out, crocodile tears rolling down your bright pink cheeks as your fists clenched the sheets beside you. 

“Sweet girl, we’re gonna fix it, okay?” 

“No, R-rafe!” 

“What do you mean, no, sweetheart? Talk to me.” 

“Can’t do it anymore, can’t keep getting fixed. I’m not a stuffed animal that you can just keep sewing back up until all the stuffing has fallen out.” 

He cooed, brushing the hair away from your forehead. 

“I know, baby – I know you’re tired. But, if we don’t fix it you’ll get an infection and you’ll get sick okay? We have to fix it, sweet girl.” 

You reluctantly nodded, letting him work, continuing to wail as each stitch was placed into your hip again, the skin irritated and sore and only adding to the discomfort that raked through your entire body. It was almost like Rafe knew when your breaths picked up and the weight of your new reality had fallen on your chest because he started asking questions – questions that you hadn’t answered – questions that no one had bothered to ask you in years. 

“So, what did you do before – I mean, I can only assume you don’t frequent hospitals very often? Unless you’re one of those crazy people. Are you one of those crazy people?” 

You threw your hand up to your mouth and let out a giggle. 

“You’re cute when you ramble, Rafe.” 

His lips turned up into a smirk. Your pain filled haze had you simply not caring about flirting with the man in front of you.

“Oh, so you think I’m cute?” 

He questioned, eyebrows furrowed, laughing as he checked the fluids that hung behind your bed. Your face was red, realizing what you had previously said to him once his words had reached your ears. You wished the bed you laid in would swallow you whole, scared to look this beautiful man in the eye and face rejection. There’s no way the feeling is reciprocated. 

“I mean, yeah. You’re an attractive guy, you’ve gotta know that.”

You stuttered out awkwardly and he simply giggled at the way you were shrinking into yourself, embarrassed at the compliment you had given him.

“Sweetheart, don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay, I’m flattered.” 

He smiled – the Rafe Cameron smile – rubbing circles into your hand as you took in the words that left his lips. 

He’s flattered. That’s what you say when you’re trying to let someone down easily. He doesn’t reciprocate and how could he? Just look at you. 

The assault on your heart at the mercy of your brain was interrupted quickly by Rafe’s voice again. 

“So, what did you do before? For work, I mean. You never answered my question.” 

“Okay, nosey. I’m – well – I was a high school English teacher.” 

You replied, with a sad smile. 

“What made you want to teach?” 

He asked, interested in everything that involved you.

“My younger sister, Ella has special needs and she wasn’t always treated fairly in the classroom; so I just wanted to make sure no child ever experienced that again.” 

“You know what that tells me?” 

He asked, a sly smile dancing across his face.

“What?” 

You wondered out loud.

“It tells me that you’re sweet and a good person and that you could’ve never deserved for this to happen.” 

“Thank you, Rafe –” 

He looked at you as tears fell down your face.

“Sweetheart, what can I do?” 

You didn’t answer him and your breaths only seem to quicken by the second and before Rafe could even think, he had kicked off his shoes and climbed in the bed with you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, one hand draping across your waist and one around the back of your head, pooling your hair in his hands. 

“Shh. It’s okay, baby. I’m so sorry.” 

He cooed. 

“I-I’m never gonna b-be the same am I? I-I’ll n-never b-be able to teach again.” 

You whimpered, crying into his chest. 

“Hey, sweet girl, don’t say that. I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure you teach again, okay? I won’t let anyone take that away from you, ever.” 

His voice was soft and tender, afraid the wrong octave might rip you in half and you’d cease to exist right then and there. 

“Do you understand? I won’t let that happen.” 

This time he spoke with more force and you nodded your head reluctantly, unsure if you really believed him or not. 

“Tell me something to make me forget, Rafe – What made you want to become a doctor?” 

You questioned and he was uncomfortable, but the pleading look in your eyes made him answer anyway.

“It’s not a story full of glory, sweetheart. How about I tell you a better one, huh? How’s that sound?” 

He questioned, his hands working against your scalp like his life depended on it. 

“That sounds good.” 

You replied, somberly, wondering what kind of hurt this beautiful, sweet human being had experienced to make him so closed off about his own life. 

“Well – once upon a time, there was this doctor and he was a real asshole until this pretty girl walked into the hospital he worked at.” 

“What did she look like?” 

You questioned with curiosity-stricken features. He smiled at you, how he was the only one who got to see you like this. He couldn’t help but feel honored. 

“I think she looked a lot like you, sweetheart.” 

Your breath is caught in your throat at the fact that those words were coming from him. His hand motions continue against your scalp as you listen to his words, the euphoria that’s felt from the action is something you aren’t sure you’ve ever felt in your entire life. 

“I’m glad I found you, Rafe.” 

You mutter sleepily, listening to him continue the details of the stranger's beauty, who in his words, looked similar to you, before you promptly fell asleep.

“And I’m glad I found you, angel.” 

He whispers, continuing to rub soothing circles into your hair, letting you cuddle deeper into him and for the first time Rafe had felt warmth in someone that wasn’t Molly. He had felt warmth and goodness and it wasn’t from her and it simply scared him half to death. 

—

taglist:

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[feargach-exists]

Batman crack fic idea Janet Drake used to date Lady Shiva when she was in college, they break up when Janet marries Jack for social and money reasons.

Tim is born. When he's old enough the Drakes fuck off to do archeology and Janet hires a bunch of increasingly bizarre people who "owed her a favour ". There's a disgraced Russian ballerino, a mad chemist, the worlds best loclpicker, John Constantine, a black and white noire detective, some Welsh guy she found in the woods. Tim learns from all of them. Janet doesn't believe in public schools, so all of this is "homeschooling".

Flash forward, Tim is 11 Jack Drake dies on a dig in Australia, because a bird dropped a coconut on his head. Suddenly Tim has a new stepmum. Lady Shiva's nice, weirdly intense, but nothing he hasn't seen before. Janet takes over complete control of Drake industries, expands her business empire and destroyes her enemies with extreme prejudice. She teaches Tim all she knows about business. Shiva teaches him how to fight. Tim is happy he now has two mums who love and pay attention to him.

Stuff happens (I haven't figured out what yet) they find Cass and Tim gets a sister. Now, because this is DC and the children canonically yern for the streets (im thinking they're like 13 & 16 at this point), Cass and Tim become a new vigilante duo (I'm thinking Crows, one of tims nannies was an animal handler and he befriended all the crows in Gotham, they follow him around) and have perfected non verbal communication and creep out everybody with horror movie twin behaviour.

While sneaking around Gotham, they meet Steph, and she takes one look at them and decides that she likes Cass and that Tim needs to be bullied relentlessly. She is, of course, correct.

Meanwhile, Bruce is not having a good time, Jason is dead, and WE has competition for the first time in his life. He'd like to spiral into a pit of despair and find out who the new vigilantes are (and why are there so many birds?), but if he does that, Lucius will kill him or, worse, quit his job. So, instead, he and Dick are sent to therapy.

Jason comes back fully expecting to have to do a whole production out of this situation, takes one look at Bruce being forced to sit in a meeting with Janet and decides that he's fine actually, and why the fuck is Lady Shiva just hanging out at this gala with two kids hanging onto her?

By the time Damian is dropped off, everyone except for Bruce knows who the Crows are, Cass and Tim come over to hang out all the time. Damian is confused as to why The One Wo Sees All is in his father's house and how her brother manages to somehow be scarier than her. Damian does not like to be confused, so he still tries to kill Tim. This devolves into a roadrunner situation where Tim pulls out increasingly niche skills to get out of Damians traps. Later, this becomes enrichment for both of them.

When Tim is 15 and Cass 18, their mums decide they're old enough to be fine living with Bruce while they go off on their own adventures. Dick brings the Crows over to meet the Titans. He's told them about his cute baby siblings (Bruce is not the only one with an adoption problem). These children are not cute. They invoke fight or flight responses. Kon has one conversation with Tim, gets info dumped on, and falls in love immediately. He's finally found someone with an equal, if not greater, amount of weird, eclectic knowledge. Young Justice adventures are somehow even more bizarre than yj98. They are having the times of their lives.

Since Tim was never robin, Duke never started the We are Robin gang. But the Crows do have a cult, and he might be in it. His parents still get jokerised, and he starts living in Wayne manor proceeds to fit right in with the insanity (Bruce has given up on trying to control any of it).

The Justice League dreads whenever they have to meet with any of the younger Gotham vigilantes. Somehow, Jason ended up as the most almost well-adjusted one. He doesn't know how that happened either.

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: As tranquility settles over your life, you wrestle with your feelings for Joel.

Warnings: Langauge, Joel's not-so-secret porn magazine stash.

Word Count: 2k

Previous Part / Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

June 2024

Peace. It was something so rare in this post-apocalyptic world you lived in now. Despite its rarity, it is something you experience regularly now.

Your days had become calm and almost uneventful. It'd been nearly a month since Adam had shown up in Jackson and Joel had killed The Walrus for you. Whoever The Walrus had as allies in Kansas never showed up. There were round-the-clock patrols still going but Tommy and Joel had both told you many times that they weren't going to show.

Despite the inherent peace, you were still on edge. You knew Adam was dead, you had watched Joel drag his body off into the woods. The Walrus had been tortured and killed yet here you were, still scared that they might appear and rip you away from Jackson in the middle of the night.

These fears had landed where you were now. Instead of staying in your own home like the grown adult you were supposed to be, you had taken up residence on Joel's couch. The past three nights had been spent tossing and turning on the soft cushions. You weren't sure what it was, perhaps fear, or maybe just general loneliness but you found yourself, lying beside him in his bed.

There is a full moon tonight, it shines through the curtains and illuminates the room. The soft creak of the floorboards under your feet alerts him to your presence.

"What's wrong?" He mumbles, barely awake

"I'm cold." You whisper from his doorway.

It's a half-baked excuse, both of you know it's a lie. It's happened three times now, you tiptoe upstairs from the couch and make up some excuse to wiggle your way into his bed.

"Let's get you warmed up then."

The duvet shifts and you shuffle across the room to slip under the covers. You turn on your side to face him, your head resting on his pillow.

"Warm?"

"Mmhm."

"Good."

Joel had yet to address this newfound closeness. You weren't sure what to make of it, all you knew was that you felt safer under his covers listening to his snores.

Luck was never something you could claim to be blessed with. Even at the end of the world, you were unlucky. Todays bad luck once again manifested in the form of the mouth of one spitfired teenage girl.

"So, are you and Joel y'know, together?"

The question has you nearly choking on the glass of water you were sipping on. Ellie was standing across from you in the kitchen, still in her pajamas asking the most embarrassing questions possible.

Joel sighs and plugs his coffee maker in, pressing the start button before turning around to look at Ellie.

"Quit askin' questions and go brush your teeth."

Ellie's footsteps disappear upstairs as she mumbles something under her breath. Joel passes you a steaming mug of coffee before speaking again,

"Got a late-night patrol tonight."

You nod. Late-night patrols meant that he'd be returning in the early hours of the morning, there was no point in waiting up for him to beckon you under the warm duvet of his bed.

"I'm working in the Greenhouse later, going to visit Maria and baby Cailey first."

Joel nods, "I can come by later. You're harvesting potatoes today right?"

"Yeah," You say, "But don't you wanna relax today? We'll have to dig all the plants up, harvest, and then reseed them."

Joel's mouth quirks up into a small smile, "I can think of nothin' more relaxing than digging in the dirt with you."

You roll your eyes and turn away to dig in the fridge for eggs, hiding your blush behind the door as you push a jar of jam out of the way. He was so flirtatious these days, it drove you crazy.

"I don't know what I should do..." You sigh

Baby Cailey coos at his mother as she places him into a small pack n' play someone had hunted down.

"Why not just embrace it?"

Maria made it seem so simple. Embracing the way Joel would flirt with you, it was easier said than done. Truthfully, you were scared. Scratch that you were fucking terrified. You were terrified that it would all be snatched away from you in the middle of the night. Terrified that Adam would rise from his grave in the forest and break into Joel's home in the middle of the night. You were terrified of Joel getting cold feet the way he did twenty some years ago.

"You're insane." You point out, leaning back into her sofa.

She shakes her head in disbelief, "I get it, you're scared."

God, it's like she was in your mind reading your thoughts.

"Look, when Tommy first started asking me out I was scared too. Hell, I avoided him for nearly half a year just because I was scared."

A smile spreads across your face. You remember those days, Tommy had been so distraught whenever Maria would magically disappear from the Tipsy Bison after he tried to approach her.

"We can't let fear rule our lives. In a world like this, we have to live life to the fullest." She says

"And you think by fawning over Joel, I'm living my life to the fullest?" You question

"I do, but don't you already do that?"

You scoff and avoid Maria's smug gaze, she certainly thought she had everything all figured out over there.

"Two weeks ago, you told me you loved his biceps." Maria points out

"I was drunk." You dismiss her comment with a wave of your hand

"Off one glass of wine? Didn't know you were such a lightweight." She smiles

"Yeah, well. I guess I'm getting old." You lie, you definitely weren't drunk.

That had been the day Joel had pushed the couch across the living room and then lifted the TV into a new corner so there was less of a glare when Ellie watched her movies during the daytime. Your jaw nearly hit the floor as you watched from your spot at the kitchen table. God the muscles on that man had to be illegal.

"I don't like Joel. Didn't like him when Tommy first told me about him, still don't really like him now." Maria admits

"Yet you're pushing us together?" You look at her like she's lost it.

"I want to see you happy though." She says earnestly, "Plus, he's my brother-in-law so I feel like that gives me some moral obligation to see that he's living a good life."

You groan and fiddle with a loose thread on the couch cushions.

"It also helps that you act all, well, giddy when he's around."

"I do not!" You say

"Sure you do. It's like your normal personality leaves the room and you're laughing and teasing Joel like you two are high school sweethearts."

You scoff and turn your attention to Cailey who smiles at you when you peer over the edge of the pack n' play. She's got big brown eyes and tufts of dark curly hair atop her head. You're pretty sure Maria had created her all on her own since it looked like Tommy's genes had just given up in the womb.

"She's got your eyes." You point out, turning the topic of conversation.

Maria smiles at the way you observe her baby, "She's got my everything. Tommy was hoping she'd look a bit like him."

"Why? He wants to curse a baby with a life of torture?" You tease

Maria laughs and gently kicks your shin as punishment for bad-mouthing her husband.

"Is she sleeping through the night yet?" You ask.

You don't know much about babies, most of your knowledge came from high school health class when an old teacher named Mr. Klein had droned on and on about how teen pregnancy was the devil reincarnate and that you'd all die if you didn't use condoms.

"If she was, you think I'd look like this?" Maria gestures to her mismatched outfit and unbrushed hair. Her eyes look a bit dull as she stares down at her baby. Truthfully though, even with her odd clothes and sleepless face, Maria looks good.

"I think you look fine." You muse, "Pretty even."

Maria scoffs, "Now you sound like Tommy."

"Well, at least he's right about something."

The greenhouse is humid today. You kneel in the dirt and pull at the tops of the potato plants, ready to reveal the harvest.

"Look at that view!"

You groan and sit back on your knees, your partner for the day is Janet, an older woman who seems to never keep her mouth shut. Her choppy white gray hairs glimmer in the sunlight as she checks the tomato plants. She has to be at least in her mid-70s yet she moved better than you some days.

"Knock it off." You huff in embarrassment

"I'm not the one with those jeans on." She muses, "You said Joel is coming by soon? You're gonna give him a heart attack like that!"

"You're so weird." You sigh plopping a nice-sized potato into the basket on your left

"I know what men think." Janet points to her temple and then to your ass, "Joel is going to lose his-"

You toss a handful of soil at her when the greenhouse door opens, and Joel steps in.

Janet sends you a sly wink as you and Joel kneel in the dirt together, unrooting potatoes beside each other. She also lewdly picks up an eggplant and shakes it in the air when Joel lifts the heavy basket with ease to dump it into a wheelbarrow. You roll your eyes, how has your life become like this?

After nearly three hours of digging in the dirt, you and Joel are on the way back to his home. Your shoulder brushes his and a tingle shoots down your spine. Even now, covered in dirt and stinking of sweat Joel Miller is devastatingly beautiful.

"You sure you're not too tired for patrol tonight?" You ask shyly

"I'll be fine." Joel assures you, "I wanted to give Ellie the house, she and her friend Dina are havin' some Star Wars marathon today."

You nod. You like Dina, she's nice and helps you clean the dishes whenever Ellie invites her over for dinner. Ellie seems to be more content talking the girl's ears off instead of actually scraping the leftovers into Tupperware bins.

"There's nothing worse than an adult hanging around a teenage girl hangout." You smile and elbow Joel's side gently

Joel looks over at you, taking in the wide grin on your dirt-smudged face. You sound like you're alluding to Ellie and Dina getting into trouble together.

"Well, now you're makin' me nervous." He huffs

"You should be." You tease, "You don't even wanna know what my friends and I were discussing at that age."

Joel shakes his head in disapproval, "Don't do that."

"Do what?" You laugh

"Tease me. Ellie isn't at home gigglin' over some...TigerBeat magazine filled with stupid pictures of Ralph Macchio or somethin'. "

"Or is she?" You over-exaggerate your gasp, "What if she got into your porn stash?"

You'd found it one day while Joel was off repairing something at the bar. Under his bed in a shoebox, you had pulled it out, wanting to sweep the dust bunnies from under the bedframe. And, as they say, curiosity killed the cat, before you knew it you were opening the shoebox to reveal three old porn magazines that had to have been from the 80s and 90s.

You had picked one of them up, it was clearly well-loved and flipped through it. Most of it was rather tame, at least compared to some of the stuff that had been on the internet before the fall. One dogeared page caught your eye, A man had a woman on top of him, legs on either side of his hips as she rode him. You couldn't help but notice the remarkable resemblance she bore to you.

"I don't have a porn stash." Joel scoffs, refusing to look at you all of a sudden, yup he was guilty.

"Then what's in the shoebox under your bed?" You ask innocently

Joel's ears have begun to go red as he keeps pace with you, "You're awful, y'know that."

"Don't be a prude." You laugh, "it's natural, Joel."

"Oh is it?" Joel suddenly looks at you, a glint of well, evil in his eye, "That mean you got a stash of your own, baby?"

It's your turn to blush now. Joel had just dubbed a new nickname on you. Baby. Baby. Fuck you liked, no loved the way it sounded coming off his lips. God, it was so him, calling you that.

"No, pervert." You scoff

"You're the one who brought it up, if anything that makes you the pervert." He teases

You huff and cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling vulnerable. How'd he turn this into a conversation to tease you? And that new nickname, fuck you wanted to climb right on top of him right here in the middle of Jackson. Instead, you send him a glare,

"You're so annoying."

"Thanks, baby."

Next Part

Ugh, they're so cute, I want to eat them.

My college semester started back up. I'm shaking in my boots and it's only syllabus week :(

Shout out to @heartpatch for inspiring me to introduce the baby nickname.

May I present, what I expect out of TLOU season 2:

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

@lunaticgurly  @orcasoul  @snowlycanroc  @freythecrazyfae

@person-005 @greenwitchfromthewoods

@elli3williams @yawnzzzzzzzz @am-3-thyst  @concrete-jungleeee

@cherrypieyourface  @kanyewestest @bambisweethearts

@sarahhxx03 @loveisacowboyyy @amyispxnk @lou-la-lou @dancinglotusbud @superblyspeedydragon @heartpatch

[yumeiwei]

DC X DP: One-Shot or Chapters?

So I had this idea, but I wasn’t sure if I should turn it into a long fic or a one-shot. Please help me decide in the comments!

The entire Batfam is on the Batplane with Constantine, who called them for help locating an area that spiked in Death Magic. He has been following these spikes for a while but he was always too slow so now, begrudgingly, he asked the Bat for help.

Batman agreed since Death Magic isn't something he wants just happening all over the world. His kids came along to help, arguing that this might be serious and they wanted to go with.

They reach the top of a mountain that had what seemed to be a ling dried up lake with a figure at the center, looking as if they were giving a prayer.

They set the plane to stealth mode and lowered themselves down. They cautiously walked to the lake edge, wanting to observe first before confronting the figure.

The figure looked androgynous and had a swimmer's build. They were dressed in what looked to be thin, flowy robes that were white with light green accents. They also had what looked to be a silk shall that seemed to be floating.

Suddenly, the figure got up and started dancing, as if in a waltz with someone they couldn't see. Slowly, dim balls of light appeared. Most were either green or blue, but every color imaginable was there.

There was a shift and the balls of light transformed into people-like forms. Ghosts if you will. Hundreds of them. Some taking the hand of the figure and dancing with them, only to let go and give the figure to a new partner.

If they never danced, or if they gave the figure to a new partner, they started floating upwards. That's when the Batfam and Constantine saw that the cloudy sky now had a single perfect circle that allowed the spirits to fly into a soft green glowing light.

Lazarus green. But softer.

As they watched, Batman felt a hand on his shoulders. He tried to grab the hand only to freeze. It was his father.

"We're proud of you, son." The ghost said with a smile as the ghost reached out and suddenly Martha was visible.

Martha smiled, gave a soft kiss onto Bruce's cheeks and danced with her husband into the sky.

---

I'll insert more scenes in the actual fic. Dick's parents, the guy Jason didn't kill but Bruce thought he killed, Tim gets those two assassins that died (can't remember names rn, I'm writing this instead of sleeping), Cass gets the person she killed, Damian gets some of the people he killed.

Jason will probably go up to Danny out of instinct or smt. Danny will ask if he wants to stay or move on and fix his core when Jason says he wants to stay.

So, thoughts?

(Will probably make this Dead on Main, but Brain Dead/Dead Tired has a special place in my heart so idk)

[moonshinesonic-moonstarslight]

Apparently I am desperate for Cumplane.. i have too many ideas in my head right now (And can't work on any WIPs at the moment...)

So have a little list!

1: Tiny Cumplane aka the OGs get zapped with something and out pops 'younger versions' of themselves. But these little versions act differently... So the villains have the Author and his greatest fan/anti-fan running around driving them up the walls... Cumplane is just having fun and being terrors about it.

2: Lightning and Yogurt aka Shen Yuan wakes up back in the modern world being hauled to the hospital. Questions if it was all a dream, so the first thing he does is try to contact Airplane (once he is able to). Doesn't reach the man and he has been offline for a while according to his search. Worried he ends up talking to himself about his concern for Airplane when his hospital roommate, who just joined him after long extensive neuro surgery, pipes up. "How did you know that I got electrocuted by my computer, bro?"

3: Too Many Plants aka modern Cumplane where Shen Yuan meets an exhausted student assistant at a botanical garden who while obviously dead on his feet gives him the most interesting and knowledgeable tour he had ever been on. So he ends up trying to get in contact with the guy again and talk. (because he made plants of all things interesting not because he was cute!) Combine phone tag with email messages and you have poor Airplane trying to get a clear answer from Curious Plant guy if he is actually looking for a relationship or what. Also Cucumber-bro stop quoting Airplane on how plants work! He knows those lines he said them enough, let him write a smut book to pay his bills in peace!

4: Little Villains aka the opposite of Tiny Cumplane. Little versions of the OGs are running around demanding attention from our transmigrators who are dealing with questions about possible soul splitting (closest thing to what happened they guess), alternative timelines (nevermind, definitely this), or the possibility that these are their newfound offspring... That they had together because of hand wavy magic.... Airplane got an earfull because of that one. (OGs are now teaming up to make it seem like it's the last one. Just a little revenge~, surely their parents understand right~?)

Might go into more detail in their own posts.. which one do you want to hear about?

[chisubi]

from the lovers’ grave — h. ran

content. fem!reader, one (1) suggestive scene near the end, something about grief, mourning, and love

word count. 10.7k

note. this was not meant to be long. originally, all i had planned was the scene with ran and rindō at the end talking and the confession scene for practice (i hate confessions) i am not sure what happened . . . also, this is unedited.

In the grand scheme of things, there were more good times than bad.

Of course, there’s no denying that during their teenage years of growing up, at some point, things have been deteriorating. Spiraling and spiraling and sprialing. They were just boys being boys, doing the only things they knew how to do, fighting and surviving; those moments were full of fun, exhilarating, a temporary bliss in this little corner of the world of theirs.

However, boys like them don’t live for long. They aren’t meant to. Just like how the saying goes: live fast, die young. Ran supposes the saying is true. Many of the people he’d known died before reaching adulthood, just like him — Kurokawa Izana. That’s just life, after all.

His funeral is a simple one. Nothing grand, and rather than how plain it is, it is more surprising how someone without a family – an orphan – is able to have a proper funeral. People like them never have one, forgotten by everyone and everything. And the one who stays forgotten by the world is Izana [to no one’s surprise], except for the few remaining members of the S-62 generation. Multiple police officers that keep a keen eye on all of them, and none of them are stupid enough to try and escape on a day like this — their bond with Izana is worth much more than that. It wasn’t something so shallow.

There are no decorations besides the white chrysanthemums and white lilies sitting in front of an old picture of him — a picture of when he first was admitted into juvenile detention all those years ago, he looked so young, his eyes were the same then as they are now. Dead. No sign of light. His cold body lies in a plain wooden casket. It’s an empty, stifling ceremony.

Shion is uncharacteristically quiet, and that alone would’ve been an insane sight if it were another day, but everyone understands his silence today. Nobody mentions it. Nobody says anything at all. It’s so silent, each breath drawn echoes, and something feels extremely off about the ceremony — something that has Ran glancing around the room every couple of minutes.

An obvious reason for this is how Kakuchō is not here; that kid would never miss this for anything, everyone knows this, and Ran can assume what happened. His injuries must be quite severe, and it’s rather a miracle that he had woken up, heck, even much earlier than the doctor’s expected. A sign of God’s mercy (and for a moment, in that cramped cell, Ran is a believer of faith). If Kakuchō is still awake, there’s no doubt he would be longfully staring out that white hospital room. Those cold, sad eyes of his watching the way the snow falls, burying the world.

And the other reason is how at the front of this cramped room, right next to the casket, sits a girl Ran has never seen before. It's alarming. Your head stays down as you only look at Izana, you haven’t bothered to look up since they have entered the room earlier. Ran can’t help, but wonder who you are. Who you are to Izana. An outsider to the S-62 generation that Izana had built from cold, scarred hands for delinquents like him. Ran wants to know so badly, but he is too tired, and now isn’t the time to focus on people he doesn’t know nor cares about.

Ran slips the singular white flower into Izana’s folded hands, all stiff, scarred, and freezing cold. A body of a dead man. He decides to place another: Kakuchō’s offering. Perhaps, that kid’s prayers would reach him, his heart has always been more pure than all of theirs combined, a softer soul trapped within this cruel world. Ran doesn't know why, but he whispers to Izana that he is sorry (he doesn’t know for what — maybe, everything), yet his eyes dwell on you.

When you turn and catch his curious eyes, he doesn’t look away; neither do you. Attempting to smile, it’s almost as if he’s looking straight into a mirror; a shiver runs down his spine.

He smiles back.

—

August tastes like cigarettes and bitter cherries. Just like it had last year in February, when blood, bones and ash had fallen and scattered around Yokohama that cold night, moments before the snow began to fall down. Gradients of whites and reds painting the town.

It’s a rather cool evening for a summer day when Ran finds himself visiting Yokohama after so long (even after his release, which had been quite some time ago, he hasn’t stepped foot here). There’s melancholy lingering in the air, much like how it always clings onto to long summer nights. Ran welcomes this, allowing his feet to lead him. Anywhere, everywhere, or nowhere at all. He just walks down the bustling streets, endlessly.

Something feels strange. . . Something is going to change this summer, something big; the unexpected always comes to people like him.

Downtown, there's a small bar that catches his eye. There's nothing too special about the shop — decorated with tacky neon flickering signs. Open, reflecting within his eyes. There's something inside of him that tells him he needs to enter, and so, he does just that.

And that feeling of his comes true within minutes. Ran sees you again. Coincidentally [or perhaps, fate, or by total chance].

The Izakaya isn’t really filled with people; either due to it still being early, since work hours are still going on or it just isn’t popular among the many identical shops along this street. And he should’ve invited Rindō to come with him; who enters and eats at an Izakaya alone? Ran has never gone out to eat or drink alone before, either way, it’s not like he’s a kid, so it doesn’t really matter that much, but he knows Rindō will be bitching to him about going out to eat alone. Well, that’s something he’ll have to deal with later.

Ran sits down at a table for two; ordering a small plate of yakitori and umeshu, something sweet and cold to drink. A waitress comes over and places his food down, his eyes widening at a familiar face, he speaks before he thinks, “Do you remember me?”

Your brows draw together, you look him up and down, then shake your head. “I. . . I am not too sure. I don’t believe so. Have we met before?”

He pauses. Disappointment swirls in his stomach, sinking. He tries not to think about why it makes him feel that way — like, disappointment is normal, but he knows he’s not someone unforgettable. “No. I must’ve been mistaken. Sorry ‘bout that.” He offers you a polite smile and that’s when he sees your eyes widen in recognition, the bar’s yellow lights flickering in yours; shining, shining, shining.

His finger glides against the rim of the glass cup, as he waits for you to speak — he knows you will say something. The ice cube clinks against the glass.

Clink. . . clink. . . clink.

“Oh—! Wait, um, you’re from the funeral. . .?” Uncertain as you carefully utter those words, he confirms this, and your eyes brighten. “Oh, hold on. Sorry, I can’t really talk right now, but my shift ends in twenty minutes,” you drift off, eyes darting toward the old big clock that hangs on the wall. You hopefully ask, “Wait for me?”

He nods. “Yeah, sure,” Ran casually says, ”take your time.” You thank him with a smile.

[Twenty minutes turn into fourty, and for some reason, he stays and waits for you. The yakitori was worth it, anyway. He’s grown to appreciate the taste of plums a little more today, too. It’s sweet.]

The both of you don’t say much tonight. Only indulging in introductions and small talk. The pier isn’t so far from the Izakaya, barely a ten minute walk away. When the two of you sit on the ledge, close yet not close enough to be touching, it’s all silent. Not a comforting one — one where the air feels thicker and there’s this itch where he feels as if he needs to say something to break this awkward tension. Curiously silent, because Ran has a lot of things to say — things he needs to know, but that can wait for another day.

“It’s a little breezy tonight,” you attempt to break the silence. He can tell there’s a lot on your mind, too, but you probably won’t say anything either. Not tonight, at least.

He offers, “Would you like my cardigan?”

You shake your head, declining. “No, but thank you. You might get cold without it.”

Relief runs over him when you decline because he is cold, he tends to get cold easily (which is something he and Rindō argue about because Rindō always, always, always turns the heat down in their apartment because he gets hot easily, even though Ran tells him not to touch it), and doesn’t like sharing his clothes or anything he owns with anyone. But Ran is a gentleman, or so he tries to be, girls feel special when he acts like this, and he likes making them think that. Well, sometimes he does. Sometimes, he doesn’t know.

“If you say so. That was my one and only offer so don’t complain after,” he halfheartedly teases (he still thinks you should’ve accepted it, because anyone would’ve if he was the one offering, but that’s your loss, really).

Maybe the way he was joking misses, because you simply reply, “I won’t.” And he hums. Silence falls over again.

“He was such an idiot,” your voice is anything but harsh when you say this. So soft, fond, a whisper of love. Too angelic, Ran is sure it will never reach him. He almost misses your words under the waves, too.

He doesn’t know who you are to Izana. A part of him understands, though. No matter what you two were or who you are, he knows you have loved Izana so dearly, you probably have for a long time. It’s quite obvious, the feeling of him that lingers onto you — he can feel it all.

His fists tightens around nothing, nail digging into his palm. How come he has never seen or heard of you before? Ran knows for a fact that Kakuchō knows you. Does Shion as well? He’s obsessed with Izana, obsessed to an unhealthy degree, so surely he knows or at least has caught a glimpse of you before. Maybe he really didn’t know Izana at all.

It’s kind of frustrating, he thinks.

Ran agrees with you. Though, he doesn’t verbally express it. Izana really was an idiot, a selfish one who was always stuck in his own head, and Ran would never get to tell him that. He’ll never get to tell him anything again. Bitterness, regret, and anger fill him for a split second, only a second, not a millisecond longer, because these emotions quickly fade back into nothing. Nothing because Ran can do nothing, but feel nothing.

“Do—Do you usually sit out here, doing nothing? Watching the world?” he sniffles. It’s summer, midsummer, heat is supposed to consume them, especially during these short nights, but the weather has been strange lately. He’s not even cold, it’s just when the breeze passes by, he gets bad shivers.

The flame of the lighter flickers, you’re lighting a cigarette — he didn’t peg you as a smoker (despite only knowing you for less than an hour at maximum), and he grimaces once he catches sight of a little pink box sliding back into your pocket. Pianissimo. Peach flavoured, of course, he almost snorts.

“Sometimes,” you reply as you breathe out the smoke. “We can go somewhere else if you want.”

You pass the cigarette to him, he accepts, saying, “Nah, it’s fine.” Your smeared lip gloss stains the tip of the cigarette, his lips overlap with the marking, inhaling the bitter smoke to feel that familiar burn, it’s quite mild compared to what he prefers, something sweet lingers within, too.

“Okay, but that was my one and only offer.”

Ran chuckles at the familiar remark, and you let one out, too. “Okay. I get it.” He passes back the cigarette. “A cheeky one, aren’t you?” It comes off more flirtatious than intended, but it makes you smile at him, cheekily.

You’re captured by the moonlit water, cigarette ashes drifting down, down, down, eyes taken by the ashes, his eyes drift back to you, and that sentimental expression you wear.

(Losing someone isn’t anything new. It’s normal in a world like this. He wonders if you know this; you definitely do.)

—

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“I am sure,” you tell him, “it’s not even a party, it’s just a get together. Go have fun with your boys. Hasn’t it been a while since you’ve hung out like that?”

“Knowing them it will be a party instead,” Kakuchō replies with a short sigh. He has never been too fond of crowds and strangers. You wonder why he is so insistent on you joining, however you don’t ask. You tell him you are sure and want to stay home, before shoo-ing him out the door.

And despite your warnings [nagging, as Kakuchō likes to call it], when you go to see him the next day, you’re met with a hungover Kakuchō and two boys knocked out on his old, leather couch. One of them is barely hanging on, half of his body is dangling off, and you aren’t sure how he didn’t wake up from being uncomfortable. And the other, you are quick to recognise as Haitani Ran.

Kakuchō was indeed right. It’s always a party with the Haitani brothers, you’ve heard this from others before, too. You take a second glance at Kakuchō. Poor, poor, poor Kakuchō, who can barely open his eyes and stumbles his way towards you, more so to what you have in your hand, that glutton, you almost burst into giggles.

You greet him, asking him simple questions like: did you have fun last night? Too much fun, you guess. Are you hungry? And he’s replying to each one with nods and grunts and incoherent strings of ‘yeah’, ‘uh-huh’, and the most annoying one of all, ‘what’. Maybe, you both were too loud because the sound of shuffling behind catches yours and Kakuchō's attention. Both boys are awake — stuck in a similar state as Kakuchō — sets of tired purple eyes peering around the room as if they didn’t even realise they crashed at their younger friend’s place.

After a few seconds, Ran speaks up. “Oh. Good morning.” He doesn’t look too surprised seeing you. His hand ruffles through his wavy hair, smoothing out his bed head as he flashes you a grin. Ran has a pretty smile. He’s pretty first thing when he wakes up, and that alone makes you envious. It’s unfair.

“Hi, good morning,” your voice comes out a little quieter than you wish it had.

Ran is still smiling, as he repeats, “Good morning.” A slight pause as you smile, too. He cocks his head to the side, introducing the boy beside him. “My baby brother, Rinrin,” he lazily introduces.

“Don’t call me that,” the boy [Rinrin] grumbles as he turns to you and gives a slight nod, “Rindō.” Rindō, not Rinrin, bends down to sweep up a shirt from the floor, slipping it back on, covering his tattoo, long black ink that paints half his chest. Your eyes linger for a moment too long, before moving onto Ran, whom for some strange reason, you know to have the other half of that tattoo on his body. They look so different yet alike.

Ran raises an eyebrow, a grin tugging on his corner of his lip once he catches your lingering gaze. Like he knows exactly what you’re thinking. He mouths, ‘What?’, you turn your head away, feeling embarrassed. Your body heat rises to your neck, cheeks, and ears.

You can feel another set of eyes on you, not belonging to Ran, however you don’t look back up. You place the homemade bento on the counter, Kakuchō lets out a sigh, “Finally.” You roll your eyes at the boy.

“Sorry, I didn’t know Kakuchō would be having guests, so I only made enough for one person. . .”

You aren’t actually sorry. It’s just a little awkward. Kakuchō could’ve given you a heads up. It feels rude only bringing a meal enough for one when there’s a party of four (though, you didn’t plan on staying over after dropping off his food).

“Nah, it’s cool. We can share,” Ran says.

“No. Let’s order something else, too. I’m starving.” Rindō brings up. You all collectively agree with him because there’s no way the food you had brought is enough for the four of you.

Ran orders yakisoba and soda for all of you. Kakuchō loudly complains when he notices the two of them picking at the food you made for him, even with the yakisoba right there.

—

“So,” Ran begins.

You look up at him. “So?”

“Can I call you later?”

“For what?”

“To see you again,” he replies, “I have a feeling we’re going to keep running into each other.”

“That may be so.”

—

Haitani Ran was right. You do meet again and again and again. Sometimes he will get a call, lips pressing into a thin line, threatening to fall into a frown as he slips into another room for a few minutes before coming out to tell you that he has to go. He doesn’t say what, you don’t ask, but you know. It’s the same thing that has Kakuchō leaving his apartment in the middle of the night, too. You try not to think about it – acknowledge it – it has nothing to do with you.

He stops by from time to time, dropping by whenever he is in the neighbourhood, much like today. You’re no longer surprised when you open the door to be met with that charming smile of his, rather once you hear the familiar sound of knocking or ringing of the doorbell, you sort of expect it to be Ran.

“You play the guitar?” His line of gaze falls onto the acoustic guitar sitting in the corner of the living room.

“Hm? Oh no, that belongs to Izana.” Used to. A pause, before you add, “There was a time when I used to beg him to teach me and he gave up after an hour.”

Ran snorts as his lips curl up. “That’s a good job for you then. He would’ve given up on the guys in less than five minutes so you probably did okay, right?”

You laugh at his words. It’s the truth, because Izana has always been an impatient (impulsive) guy. “Maybe. Kakuchō was able to learn how to play it, and I remember being a little jealous of him because Izana seemed happy to have someone to talk about music with.”

You were jealous, upset, embarrassed at your lack of ability — you thought, maybe you just aren’t talented? You eventually came to terms with it. But there were moments when you would watch Izana and Kakuchō play their guitars (—Izana set money aside and bought a used guitar just for Kakuchō, you assume Kakuchō leaves it hidden away, far away from everyone and everything), the room fills with music and you would be sitting on the couch listening, listening, and listening until you’re slowly drifting asleep to their melodies.

You take a hollow breath.

“Those two have known each other since they were kids. . . Ah, you, as well, right?” he asks and you nod your head in confirmation.

“Yes, that’s right.”

Ran lifts his eyes to meet yours. Ever so purple, beautifully vibrant, like a gem, you’re afraid it could shatter. He smiles, softer, sadder. “I see. The three of you have a special bond then. Something others cannot replicate.”

Your heart races, then pangs at his words. Something special.

Yeah, it is special, you could never forget it. Even if you wanted to.

“Just like you and your brother. The charismatic brothers of Roppongi: the Haitani brothers,” you say, voice light with a small smirk on your lips. “I have heard some stories about you two.”

“Mhm, I bet you have. All good things, I assume?”

You tease, “Maybe, maybe not.”

He chuckles to himself. “So, good rumours,” he concludes with a satisfied look, “I am Haitani Ran, after all.” Definitely nothing good, you both know, or so, you assume Ran knows.

You agree, “That’s right, Mr. Haitani.”

He smirks at the name.

Ran doesn’t ask if it’s okay to touch the guitar, he just takes it, yet you can’t find yourself getting upset or complaining about it. You watch as he plops down onto the couch, patting the spot next to him, indicating you to come over, in which you do. “Ran, do you know how to play?”

He looks over at you and winks, “Oh, honey, that’s what you are about to find out. Keep your eyes on me.”

You roll your eyes.

It’s not even two minutes later, when you do find out, just like Ran had said. You learn he doesn’t know how to play at all. Ran plays the same tune over and over again, or he attempts to, it sounds nothing like the pretty way Izana plays. It’s clunky, off-tune, yet something about it feels tender. So, so gentle; your heart trembles along with the tune. Ran doesn’t seem to care about his lack of skills; lavender eyes softly gazed on the way his slender fingers move against the strings — a faint smile to his lips, rosy and glossy from your cherry lip balm you saw him put on earlier, as he plays Izana’s beloved acoustic guitar.

You remember Izana at this moment. The way he played all his favourite songs — how Bohemian Rhapsody and Under Pressure was played on repeat in his little apartment. How, on this very couch that you and Ran are sitting on, he used to get frustrated at how you couldn’t memorise or understand what he was teaching you (and in your defense, he sucks at teaching, definitely one of the only things he has ever sucked at), and you would cry at his frustration. Izana eventually gave up and instead learned to play your favourite song for you.

You wanted to learn it yourself, but you were so happy at the same time. It felt special. You felt special.

You remember, you remember, you close your eyes, and you remember it all. It dances to the memories every day, a little record stuck on repeat. It’s all you have left of him. What if one day your heart suddenly doesn’t remember?

“Falling asleep to my playing?” His voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

Opening your eyes, all you see is Ran in front of you.

You shake your head and smile at the sight, Ran catches it and flashes a pretty smile back, laughing beneath his breath as he attempts to show off by playing a series of random chords quickly. Giggling at his antics, you attempt to sing along; humming a random tune as the two of you try to match each other, clearly missing the beat. Soft laughter, light teasing, Ran playing the guitar and you singing along fills the room in your apartment. Your hearts dance along, ever so intimately. You feel light, so light, and you haven’t felt this way in a long time.

Maybe you could get used to this (perhaps, you already are).

“I don’t know anything about guitars or any instrument,” he admits, “maybe besides the recorder.” He looks disheartened at the fact as he stops playing and his fingernail taps against the wood, it echoes back.

“It’s okay, I am no good at it either. I also only know how to play the recorder,” only because it is mandatory to learn in primary school. “I am probably better than you at it, though.”

“Oh? Is that a challenge, young miss?”

“Maybe.”

“I guess we’ll have to find out,” he says. “Someday, of course.”

You nod. “Someday.”

—

Ran sleeps with you for the first time tonight. After dinner, he was too lazy, and your couch was too comfortable, so he didn’t want to leave, and you didn’t really seem to think of anything when you offered for him to stay the night. He didn’t think much of it when he agreed. It’s so innocent, yet more intimate than everything he has ever known. He feels. . . strange.

Your mattress is quite small, however Ran prefers it this way for obvious reasons. The dip in the mattress that allows you to get closer, he can feel your body heat so vividly, if he closed his eyes he could probably imagine it, except he doesn’t. He just stares at your bare face, who stares back at him.

“Your hair looks so pretty like this, Ran. I like it.” Your compliment makes him smile, it’s not often when someone witnesses his hair down, wavy and what he considers to be a mess. Your finger runs over the loose waves, twirling the end with your fingertip. He thinks you look pretty, too, in your pajamas, and bare faced.

You ask, “Can I braid your hair when we wake up tomorrow?”

“I like my hair a certain way.” He replied without much thought. He almost doesn’t notice that he didn’t necessarily reject the request.

You pout your lips, and give Ran your best puppy eyes — little gems are shooting out of your eyes towards him, but he is not one to fall for that. Do you think he’d be the type to fall for a cheap trick? If he were, he would’ve been screwed ages ago. You picked the wrong person for that. “Is that a no?”

He softly hums, debating to himself. “I am just—” he tries to think of the right word. He just hates when others touch his hair, his clothes, his jewelry, he spends so much time perfecting his appearance — he hates when others ruin it. “I rarely let Rindō touch my hair.” He decides to say this, because it’s something people can come to understand.

“I learn quickly. . .”

He sighs. Not one out of annoyance, more so at how he is so quick to give into your wishes. “Alright, fine. I will teach you how I like it done tomorrow.” You’re lucky that you’re cute, he almost adds.

He bites his tongue.

But he doesn’t know why. He says those types of things all the time. It’s a strange night. He’s been doing things he doesn’t do or say.

You lift your hand to his face, your pinky sticks out, “Promise?”

A pinky promise. Ran almost snorts — he would’ve if he weren’t so tired, if you didn’t look so cute and serious, and he would have laughed if it were someone else. Ran hasn’t pinky promised since he was a kid, barely eleven, promising something mundane to Rindō (the world, Roppongi, a new house, a new life, he remembers, he always will).

He softly sighs, sending you a sleepy smile as he locks your pinky with his. His thumb presses against yours, sealing the promise with a kiss. His eyes flicker down to your soft lips, you are grinning so happily over a mere pinky promise, what a simple thing bringing you happiness. “I promise.”

For a moment, he thinks he could give you something worth more than this little promise — pretty, shiny things that could make you smile even more. But he knows you aren’t someone like that. And that’s fine to him.

If braiding his hair makes you happy, for some weird reason, then he’s okay with it, too.

—

Ran awakens in the middle of the night, the room is coated in darkness, the moonlight shines through the crack of the curtain and that is how he knows it is still night time. He is not used to not sleeping in his own bed, he immediately notices your lack of presence, fingers tracing the empty surface, the side you had slept on is barely warm; you were still here not too long ago.

He slowly gets up, quietly walking down the hall to find you sitting curled up on the couch, on the side that is closest to the wall where Izana’s guitar rests. Unaware of him, his presence, and everything else in the world.

He lingers everywhere in your apartment, your home, your mind. It leaves Ran questioning: when you make a person your home, where do you go when they’re gone? Where do you go? Tell him.

He leans against the wall, asking, “You can’t sleep?”

Your body jolts. Your head snaps up, as you glance in his direction, and you shake your head, beginning to relax. “Oh, Ran. . . No, I was just getting some water.”

He hums, going along with your poorly webbed lie, your heart is exposed bare on your sleeve, so cold, lonely, he glances from the empty coffee table to the acoustic guitar to your unshed tears. You are seriously a terrible liar. That’s a good thing for him. “Do you mind the company?” He doesn’t want to intrude somewhere he doesn’t belong.

You shake your head once again, “No. Not at all.” You pat the spot next to you, and Ran moves from the wall to the spot next to you. You’re watching him silently, sinking back into the cushions.

“Are you thinking about him?”

You tilt your head towards him, sending a weak smile, unable to find the words for an answer that the both of you already knew.

“It’s okay. Sometimes, I still think about him, too.” He assures.

You ask, “You do?” You sound rather surprised, and he is also surprised by his own honesty.

“Yeah. He was. . .” Words die easily on his tongue as he struggles to find the right words to say. There’s not much he can say, despite all of the memories and feelings he once had. What can he even say about Izana? He can’t think of anything nice or normal that one would say about an acquaintance (friend, comrade, boss). “He was an interesting guy. I kinda admired him.”

He was an interesting guy, Ran had thought so their first meeting, years ago back in juvie. He was the only person that left a deep impression on him. Izana was many things. Anything, but a good man. He used to be a good boy (probably), once so long ago. Ran really did admire him, he wouldn’t have followed just anyone. He admired him to the point where he spent his entire youth following the boy.

“I did, too.” Barely heard even in this room containing only the two of you, it sounds a little bitter. Just a tad.

“Yeah, I’m sure he knows,” he says, leaning his head down to rest on top of yours. You breathe quietly next to him, all of the little noises can be heard in this silence. Your legs stretch out, dangling beside his.

It’s a long time before either of you speak. And then, you look up at him. There’s something glimmering in your eyes.

You tell him a story and then two more of your childhood. You laugh and tear up through them. He laughs, stays silent, and smiles as he tentatively listens to your every word. It’s his turn, you don’t ask him, but it’s only fair if he shares something personal with you; something he and only Rindō know. He wants you to know. He wants to tell you sides of him that he’s outgrown and sides that nobody knows. He tells you about the dog Rindō wants to adopt one day, you say you want to see it, but Ran tells you about how he doesn’t really want to have pets in his apartment (though, it’s sometimes hard to say no to Rindō). You tell him about the stray cat you used to feed a few months ago, and how you haven’t seen her in a few weeks. She’s probably fine, Ran tries to assure you, there’s a chance somebody had picked her up and adopted her. You hope so.

The two of you fall asleep on your couch, one far too small for him, curled up, and entangled together. He sleeps so soundly, the cotton of his shirt soaking up your silent tears.

[Ran believes — no, he knows that he visited you in a dream last night. He must’ve. You look so at peace.

The sun hits, orange light shining through the gaps of the curtains, and you look so at peace as you sleep, leg wrapped around his waist as you lay against his chest. His fingers run through your hair, carefully, not wanting to wake you. His index finger ghosts over your cheek and Ran freezes when you shift in your sleep, smiling when he realises you aren’t going to wake.

You must be a heavy sleeper. Or maybe, you’re having a sweet dream and aren’t ready to wake yet.

He admires you for minutes that seem to last forever. He comes to terms with the fact that he’s doomed, and decides he doesn’t want to think about it or you anymore, before drifting back to sleep.]

—

When morning hits (or rather afternoon), Ran stops to look at you before leaving. His hand lingers on the doorknob. “You’ll be okay?”

You nod. “. . . Should be,” you reply, smiling. “See you later, Ran, and thank you.”

His eyes are gazing down at you, his expression seemingly confused — conflicted, before his eyes soften, turning back into pretty little gems. His smile is so pretty. “I’ll call you,” he says.

It’s a promise.

—

It’s Wednesday, your afternoon lecture was cancelled due to the professor’s sudden family emergency, so you invited Kakuchō to hang out around Shibuya. Luckily, he didn’t have any of those meetings to attend. “Are you dating Haitani Ran?”

Your heart almost stops at hearing this.

“What—no, of course, not,” you reply — one far too quick, your voice raises and you hear Kakuchō scoff under his breath. You almost stop your tracks, instead you turn your head in his direction, narrowing your eyes, clearing your throat before asking, “Why are you asking me that?”

He shrugs, opting on not replying to your question, and you frown, pressing your lips into a thin line. When you lightly hit his shoulder, he sighs, giving into you. “You always hang out these days.”

What a ridiculous reason. “Is that so weird? You and I see each other almost daily,” you reason.

Another scoff escapes his lips as if you had just said the most insane thing in the world. He tells you, “I’ve seen him leave your apartment in the morning. More than once.”

“We didn’t sleep together,” you defensively reply. A growing sense of irritation quickly builds inside of you. “It’s nothing like that. I swear.”

“So, it’s nothing.”

“Well, you know. . .” You trail off, looking at the people fleeing in and out of the cafés and clothing shops. You don’t deny it. You don’t know if you should, yet it’s not really anything, maybe something. He’s your friend. Just like Kakuchō. Just like Izana.

He sighs before saying, “You look at him like how you did with Izana.”

You freeze.

Kakuchō steps stop the moment yours do.

You look at him like how you did with Izana. You grow cold from those words alone, your heart tightens by an old memory of Izana flashing by. Those words play on repeat with the memories.

Just like Izana.

You feel faint.

There’s a tap on your shoulder, you notice the guilt on his face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you upset. I won’t ask, you don’t gotta say anything. I get it.”

“No, don’t be sorry, I am not upset.” You aren’t upset, but you don’t know how you are feeling. You know you aren’t upset by his words, but your heart stings. You want to cry, but you don’t understand why. [You do, and this makes you feel like sobbing.]

“Okay, well, can I ask why Ran? Rindō is the cooler brother,” he says.

Why Ran. You don’t know this yourself. You just know you like being with Ran. His presence is comforting, he makes you feel less alone in moments you feel alone. You just like being with Ran. You just want to be around that person. It’s as simple as that.

You roll your eyes, jabbing a finger into his forearm, lightly pressing your nail into his muscle. “You only say that because he works out with you.”

He shrugs. “Yeah. That’s the manliest thing someone can do. And he drinks more than any guy I know, it’s kind of insane, and he will still show up to the meeting the next day.”

You grimace. You could never pull yourself out of bed if you were that hungover — and, well, you’re sure that Rindō is dragged and forced to go to these ‘meetings’. Probably. There’s no way it is solely dedication.

“Right. Don’t be drinking with him, got it?” You don’t need Kakuchō developing even more bad habits. Sometimes you can’t help, but nag, even if it doesn't really reach him (if you were Izana, it’d be a whole different case), always going in and out the other ear. “Kaku, are you doing okay these days?”

“I’m fine, but also, a little hungry.”

“Kakuchō.” You lower your voice in an attempt to sound more serious — threatening, maybe. Obviously, it doesn’t work because Kakuchō doesn’t reply or react in any way. “Come on now. Talk to me, I know it’s something.”

He sighs, his eyes don’t meet any part of you. He turns away, the long, faded scar running across his face becomes hidden. “It’s always like this. In the end, I am always the only one who ends up surviving.” You’d prefer bitterness, anger, or sadness – anything – over the empty feeling in his words. Your heart aches, you don’t want Kakuchō to leave you, too.

You don’t even want to imagine such a thing.

You want to hold him.

Your hand reaches out to grab him, so firm and all of his little scars and calluses are felt and seen. Kakuchō looks down at you the moment you touch him. He doesn’t pull away. “I am sorry to say this, I know you won’t want to hear it now, but I am grateful for that. I’d be sad if you weren’t here with me. You are my family, Kaku. Don’t forget that. So, please don’t say something so sad.”

And he’s quick to look away again, too.

He says, “. . . I’d be lonely without you, too.”

Your hand tightens around his. His hand is warm, like it always is, his body always runs hot, too hot, but he is still alive. You’re alive. “You could at least look at me when you say that.”

He grumbles something incomprehensible, you tilt in your head in confusion, “Hm? What was that?”

“I said, ‘what do you want to eat?’”

“Aren’t you being too shy? I guess you’re at that age now,” you continue to tease him, watching as the tip of his ears turn red. Kakuchō has never been good at voicing his own feelings, he speaks through his actions alone — through iron fists and undying loyalty — just like most of the men you have ever known. You grin at the reaction. “Hmm, well, how about we have okonomiyaki tonight? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

The three of you used to eat that quite often back then, Kakuchō would be the one who would always make it for you and Izana. You haven’t had it since then. You’re craving it like crazy now.

“Yeah, sounds good. Let’s find a place less crowded, though.”

He really is still the same. Just older now, maybe maturing and experiencing life in all the wrong ways. But he is still your Kakuchō.

You wonder if he thinks the same of you.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

And similar to Kakuchō, you’ve never been so fond of crowds, either. Arms linked, you walk to an old restaurant owned by a cute elderly couple. You tell him you love him (because you do, since back then and now and in the future), he almost pushes you away right then and there, you burst out in laughter.

Kakuchō sits in front of you, in the past he used to sit beside you, you assume maybe it’s because it’s easier to talk this way. A guess because you aren’t so sure. He accidentally makes an extra okonomiyaki the first round, a habit he cannot erase, you both know why, you don’t say anything. You take the extra okonomiyaki and eat it for him.

—

Ran believes that some things are meant to happen for a reason.

You and him.

Him and you.

He throws a party for his brother’s birthday as he does every single year. He only invites their friends who immediately invite other people they know as it always goes and the apartment is filled to a brim. Just like every year.

You arrive a little later than most people, due to work and having to get ready, and Ran immediately removes himself from a group of people surrounding him (a chorus of boo’s are thrown at him), and rushes over to you.

“Hey. You took a while.”

You’re all smiles around him already. “I had to shower and get ready first.”

“You still look pretty in your work uniform.”

You look up at him, pointedly. “And smell like alcohol and chicken and fish?”

Ran grins, “Not much different from here, yeah? I love eating chicken.”

You playfully shove him and his grin widens as he pulls you into the drunk dancing crowd.

When he makes eye contact with Rindō, who is DJing (like always), his brother is clever enough to change the music to keep the two of you close. Bodies are bumping into him and you, you’re really close and your hands are in the air, in your hair, and on him. People are too close, too loud, too intoxicating. He has to lean down every time you attempt to say something to him — a lot of it is just you singing — and your lips brush against the shell of his ear every time.

Every. Single. Time. Electricity jolts through him.

Hair is sticking to your forehead, face red and glowing from dancing, sweat, and the mixture of body heat; you’re stunning and all Ran can think of is how badly he wants to kiss you when you bite your lower lip when you meet his gaze once again.

He pulls you closer, and it happens within a second. You kiss him first. Lips briefly pressing against his, you’re quick to pull back before he can reciprocate, and you flash him a smile more blinding than these flickering neon lights. He pulls you back in for a proper kiss this time.

Admittedly, this is not your first kiss together. He had kissed you once before – barely a peck – one night when he had picked you up from work and drove you home. It can barely be called a kiss, but Ran would be lying if he said it didn’t cause a shock that ran through his entire body. Later that night, alone in his room, his thumb brushed over his lips and they still tingled with the feeling of you.

This kiss, unlike the previous brief and fleeting exchange, he can taste all of you. Openmouthed, desperate, and a little shameless, too (but he doubts anyone is actually paying attention). Your hands find their way to his hair — much like they always seem to do — and Ran sighs when your fingers run through, gently scratching the nape of his neck. You look up at him with a gleam in your eyes, and he swears he wants to undress you right then and there.

Except, he wouldn’t do that. Plus, a loud whistle and a familiar voice jerks him back to the present (reality). It takes so much in him to hold himself back, he has to physically pull himself away from you for a second. He turns and glares at the interruption — Shion. Obviously. That fucker.

“What?” he asks, slightly annoyed and amused at the boy’s fucked appearance.

Shion grin widens, face glowing with sweat, red eyes, high and drunk on whatever someone had snuck in. Someone sure is having a good time. “Just—‘m just enjoying the show,” he slurs as his eyes make their way behind him, to you.

Ran steps forward and places a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Shion wobbles with a faint touch. “Go sit down, Madarame. You’re gonna fall over.”

Shion ignores him, brushes past him, and asks you to dance. Ran groans, calling out his name, but Shion blocks out his voice and smiles at you.

So, sure, he and the boys have this thing of cockblocking each other for shits and giggles, but now was definitely not the time for that. He needs to learn how to read the room. Damn idiot. (This is probably Shion’s payback from the last party, and all the times before that, but Ran swears it’s funny when he does it.)

You look from Shion to him and Ran shrugs, as if a shrug is enough to let you know that it’s just Shion, so it’s fine if you wanna dance with him, or not. After a second, you accept his dance with a curt, “Sure.” And Shion smiles, wide with all teeth.

“Behave yourself,” he warns Shion before turning to you. “I am gonna get some water. I’ll leave you to it for a bit.”

Ran walks over to join Rindō at his DJ booth.

Rindō looks at him with a raised brow as he makes his way behind the booth. “You lost your girl to Shion,” Rindō loudly snorts.

“Just letting him be around a girl out of his league for once,” Ran jokingly replies, and they both laugh. “Change the song for me.”

The song switches to something more upbeat; everyone is spinning and jumping, you and Shion, too. He can barely hear his own thoughts through the loud vibrations of the bass. He and Rindō talk about nothing, and Ran lets Shion dance with you for two whole songs. Shion is an idiotic lunatic, especially when he’s drunk, but he’s not stupid enough to do something he knows he shouldn’t. His hands don’t leave your hands, rather, Ran thinks you’re making sure Shion doesn’t let go of your hands, so he doesn’t fall over. Ran thinks you might be too nice. He’s having a good time and so are you, so that’s all that matters. He likes watching you dance, even if it’s not with him.

At some point, he runs to the kitchen to get a cup of water, and when he returns to you, Shion is nowhere in sight. That boy never stays in one place for long.

“Sorry, Shion is an idiot,” he tells you as he offers you the cup in his hand, basically forcing it into your hand to drink.

You chug back the water, no doubt exhausted and dehydrated from all the dancing and sweaty bodies around you. “He’s a funny guy. I had fun.”

Ran gives you a skeptical look. “Guess so, but feel free to ignore him next time.”

You grin, “Really, Ran, he was nice!”

“I sure hope so.” He leans down as whispers against your ear, “My room?”

You nod.

And finally, you’re on top of him. Ran is laying on his back, propped up by his elbows as he watches you take off your top, far too slowly, because you like to tease, and Ran is an impatient man deep down. But in this moment, he lets you do your own thing, and watches, watches, admires your every subtle movement. The real thing is much better than his daydreams. Yes, in the moment, he almost thanked Buddha.

You lean down to kiss him. Rather soft and innocent compared to the way you shift on top of him, and the way your hand runs down between the two of you. He’s rather shameless, and doesn’t bother hiding the way you make him feel. There’s nothing greater than pleasure.

Your movements come to an abrupt stop, and Ran suddenly becomes more aware. For a moment, he thinks you must be teasing him once more — Ran doesn’t beg.

He asks, “You okay?”

You stay quiet, he can’t see your eyes, something is wrong.

“Hey, is there something wrong?” His hand is immediately searching for yours, unknowingly. You pull your hand away before he can reach it. You pull your hands together.

Your voice comes out too quiet. It shakes at the end.

“. . . I’m scared,” you admit.

Ran pauses, his expression drops and he’s quick to sit straight up, reaching over to grab your hand, pulling it into his. His thumb brushes against the back.

He pulls you in his arms, your head lays against his chest as he whispers, “It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything.” He doesn’t need this. “It’s alright, don’t force yourself.”

“No, that’s not what I—” you’re cut off by a whine; your own cry.

He’s scared to death the moment you begin to sob. Full on sobbing, you’re choking, and he can’t calm you down. He’s frantically trying to speak to you, but his words are not reaching you.

He wants to know what’s wrong. He needs to know what he can do to help you. There’s nothing he can do, except hold you.

“I, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He frowns. Wrong. Your words alarm him. “There’s nothing wrong. It’s not wrong. Trust me.” He tells you, more firm than his usual tone with you. “You’re okay, baby.”

You shake your head. “It’s not.”

“It is.” He grabs the blanket beneath the two of you and wraps it around your naked figure.

You try to say you’re sorry — words don’t come out, but Ran knows you’re trying to apologise for something that only exists in your mind. There’s nothing wrong at all and he needs you to understand this.

“We’re okay, trust me. We’re more than okay.” He reassures as he holds you a little tighter when he feels your shaky form against him. “Don’t force yourself to do anything, yeah?” His voice drops to a comforting whisper, “Just breathe for me. You can do that.”

You cry into his chest for an hour. He says nothing, but strokes your hair and quietly calls your name from time to time.

After a long time, when your sniffles begin to slow and the party outside the door begins to die down, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“No,” you say, and leave it at that.

(You think Ran doesn’t understand, and you feel bad because you don’t know how to tell him how his sweetness and understanding and patience with you causes you to cry even more. He’s so sweet, it aches, and aches, and aches, but his arms around you bring comfort and security, and then, so do his lips.)

—

Leaves decay, autumn passes, and it’s almost Christmas. Snow fell greatly last night, piles and piles of snow pack up, and Rindō is dragged outside to play. Play as if he is some seven-year-old kid once again.

The three of you are outside their apartment complex, you’re rolling snow to make a snowman next to one that has already been made — probably by the family that lives on the first floor. They have two little kids — one boy and one girl. Rindō remembers bumping into them in a drunken state, and the mother looked at him in disappointment and disgust as she blocked him from her children (obviously, he wasn’t going to do anything, but he can’t exactly blame the woman, either), Rindō scoffed at her and stumbled his way upstairs.

He and Ran aren’t doing anything, just standing on the sidelines, lighting a cigarette, and watching you. When Ran passes him the cigarette, Rindō is quick to take notice of the difference in smell and taste. Since when did he start smoking another brand? Especially something like this. Still, he smokes it with him without complaint.

“So,” Rindō starts off, gaining his brother’s attention. “How are you?”

Ran’s face twists, he stares at his little brother strangely, as if he had grown another head. “Huh?”

Sure, it is a weird question, because no matter how close they seem (are), they don’t talk about feelings or anything like that, even if they are together almost 24/7. But Rindō just wants to know this time, he’s so curious, because something has changed about his brother. It’s noticeable in everything he does.

His eyes flicker from him to you. “You and her. The two of you are together now, or what’s going on?” Rindō is curious. He knows there’s something more going on, he’s no fool, and the way your eyes always seem to find each other basically screams it to his face. “Hasn’t it been a while?”

Ran shrugs, poker face, as always.

Rindō just lets out an ‘Ah’, and that’s that. There’s never much to say between them because they’ll just accept anything about each other without an explanation.

However, Ran continues speaking about it, much to his surprise. “I am actually fine with it, y’know.”

“Fine with what?” he asks.

“How there will always be a little part of her who loves Izana.” Ran says this so casually, Rindō’s mouth opens slightly, yet there’s nothing he can think to say so he shuts it and stares on ahead. “Even if he were still here. . . yeah, I’d be okay with it, too.”

Ran has always been complex in ways that nobody can understand, and when they finally think they do, he shows them that they never knew him at all. When he wants something, he’s quick to dive in and take it. He takes, takes, and takes. He’s quite cruel at times, it’s how he learned to survive.

(And Rindō learned that from him, too.)

If Izana were here, somewhere in another life, he knows you would still choose Ran — that’s probably what his brother is thinking. That cocky, confident smile tells all. And Ran is probably right about it, he always is, and he’s annoying about that fact, too.

Ran’s eyes have always been a shade darker than his. Yet, in this light, they seem to shine brighter than his.

“Ran!”

The both of them look up. You’re running over, there’s snow in your hair, frosting over. Your smile is bright, teeth showing, the snow around is sparkling. Ran’s smile is suddenly all soft.

“What?” Even his voice is all smiles, and internally, Rindō gags.

“Come here,” your hand pulls him along. Ran follows you like a dog.

And suddenly, it’s only the two of you in the world; moving slowly, kicking snow onto each other, pushing, running, hands never letting go. It’s pure, gentle, something so rare and hard to find, Rindō's heart shakes at the sight of Ran and you.

The idea of Ran and you.

He’s a little jealous, but he will never admit to something like that.

He thinks about taking a picture of Ran to show him how idiotic he looks, but in the end, he decides not to. Ran won’t see what he looks like in this light, unless, as cheesy as it sounds, through the reflection of your eyes.

—

January rolls around, the very first day of the year, and Yokohama’s seaside never seems to change. Dawn is blue, forever blue, you feel as if your soul is about to cry.

Ran had shown up at your apartment right before the hand of the clock struck midnight to no one’s surprise. Well, maybe, you were a little surprised. His brother was throwing a New Year’s party (one you had declined the invitation to), yet here Ran is with you. You ask why, to which he replies with, “I just wanted to see you.” And that is enough for you to let him inside.

The two of you attempt to stay up all night — that attempt is quick to fail, because you both become entangled in your bed, falling into slumber. And once your alarm sets off at five in the morning, you’re dragging Ran out of your bed, pulling his clothes off from your bedroom floor, and pushing him out the door. His hand in yours. You take him to your spot by the pier, almost jogging. It’s nearly six.

“Sleepyhead,” you eventually call out, glancing at the sleepy boy beside you. He could sleep anywhere, you think. It’s a fact known to everyone around him. “You are dozing off. You’ll miss the sunrise.”

After a few beats, your words register through his head. He lazily nods, almost as if he’s nodding off again. “If you don’t say anything, I think I really will pass out,” he mumbles back, voice groggy and deeper than usual from his sleepiness.

You ask, “What do you want me to say?”

“Anything.”

“Anything?”

“Mhm. . .”

You ponder for a moment, before asking, “Do you think people ever truly move on from their first love?”

This is enough to wake Ran up. The weight on your head is lifted, he shifts. “That’s heavy,” he breathes out.

“You said anything.”

It’s quiet for a moment before he gives you an answer.

“It depends on the person.” He turns his body to turn and look at you. “Why do you ask? Scared to move on or do you think you’ll never be able to?”

You don’t lift your gaze, settling on the waves below. You can’t bring yourself to look at him. You can feel his eyes on you and the smirk that is tugging on his lips, even though you know he is being serious with you. He wants to know. He needs to hear your answer. “I don’t know. . . Do you ever think about your first love?”

“Nah, I don’t think about things like that, sweetheart.”

“Liar. You could at least pretend and go along with me.” He smiles when you say this. You softly sigh, going along with his silence. “But fine. If you did think about those things, do you think you would eventually forget about them?”

Ran’s eyes flicker, violet hues staring deep into you, as he huffs a silent laugh — one that feels a little sad compared to his usual ones. “I think I would carry a part of them with me no matter how much time has passed.”

His words make you softly smile. And they feel a little sad, too. “I see. . . You are quite the romanticist,” you tease.

For some reason, you feel as if your teasing never seems to work against him, he remains as composed as he always is. He whispers, “Aren’t we all?”

It’s strange how easily Ran’s words bring comfort to you. In ways where you feel heard and seen even in darkness. Ran is always like that. There’s a part of you that will never forget Izana, not now or in another life. He will always be someone you love and cherish. Ran understands this — he understands you, never judging. You understand him, too, and that’s all that matters.

“Hey, Ran, can I ask you something?”

“You sure have a lot of questions today,” he says with both amusement and curiosity swimming in his tone. “Shoot. What else is running through that mind of yours?”

You open your mouth, then pause.

“Hm? What’s with the sudden hesitation? Is it something embarrassing?” he teasingly asks, nudging his shoulder against yours, prompting you to speak your mind. “You can tell me. Promise, I won’t laugh.”

You know he wouldn’t laugh at you — always with you. Never at you. You just can’t find the right words to say to him. [Or maybe the courage.]

“You know I don’t judge you.”

“You judge everyone, Ran.”

His smile drops, and his expression turns more serious than you would like. “Surely you know that you’re not everyone.” He asks, “You understand, don’t you?”

You quietly reply, “I know.”

“Then is it something bad?” His voice goes quiet, too.

“No, it’s just,” you deeply inhale, turning your head back to the sea, averting your gaze from those eyes that look at you so softly [tenderly, with his full adoration], it causes your heart to tighten every time. You fidget with the ends of your hair, exposing your nerves. Another short pause and then you breathe. “I think. . . I think I like you, Ran. Like, a lot, and it terrifies me. Maybe you don’t believe me—I would find it hard to believe, too, because of—”

“I believe you,” his reply comes immediately. Voice so clear among the waves and seagulls calling above. “I can tell. You make it quite obvious sometimes, it’s hard for me to ignore, y’know?”

You blink. “Oh. Um, is it really?” you meekly reply.

Ran hums and heat rises up to your ears in embarrassment. You don’t think you’re somebody who is that obvious. Your face no longer feels the coldness of winter brushing by, internally groaning. You guess it was obvious. The two of you kiss a lot, you’ve gone further than that on a few occasions, and he stays over at your apartment more often than not. It is obvious. But liking and loving someone are two completely different things. (Love. . .)

“I feel the same. But how I feel . . . it is probably too soon to say how I feel for you, so I will wait until you are sure you want this.” His hand brushes against yours — cold from the cement and winter air, pinky dragging across the back of your hand. “Not too long, though. My patience isn’t so gentlemanly.”

Your heart flutters, embarrassment shifting to shyness. I feel the same for you, too. You try to not burst out smiling, lightly biting down onto your lip. Your cheeks betray you. You can feel the heat rising against the wind.

“Oh? Is that what people call you now? I don’t recall you being that much of a gentleman.”

Ran scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Really now?” Beginning to mutter to himself about how he treats you so well, that he’s been born a gentleman — it’s engraved into the very depths of his soul. And to some degree, those words are true. Ran has been nothing but patient with you. Someone who is always there when you need it.

I will wait until you are sure you want this. You do want this, you want to be with him — with the person beside you now. You want us. “Me too,” you say as you gather more courage, leaning towards him a little, your hand rests on his shoulder as you stare straight into those pretty lavender eyes. “I am falling in love with you,” you say to him, more sure than before.

You don’t waver.

A second passes, a wave crashes.

“Mm, I missed what you said. Say it again for me, sweetheart,” he says with that signature smile to his soft, pink lips, “for me, please?”

His plea makes you roll your eyes. Ran loves attention — both good and bad. He loves pretty things and pretty words, even more when they hold something so precious and meaningful in them. I love you. I love you. I love you. I like you so, so much. I want to be with you, Ran. Ran, Ran, Ran — sweet words that have been whispered to him many times before in the past (and many more times in the future, including now).

You lean over, cherry lips brushing against his ear, as light as a feather. You whisper a confession. A heartfelt confession. The wind rushes by, his hair tickles your flushed cheek, and a sweet confession only for the two of you to know, drowned out by everything else in the world.

It’s just you and Ran.

Snow gently falls, your hand found itself in Ran’s, his fingers intertwined between yours. He doesn’t let go. You don’t let go. Even when the sun begins to rise over the blue horizon, not when you’re walking back to your apartment, not when Kakuchō and Rindō stop by later for dinner and Ran is doing nothing, but admiring you as you cook. Neither of you let go for a long, long time.

It’s just Ran and you.

[raayllum]

Can you explain why Claudia is so upset with Terry when they reunite after he leaves? And why Terry, of all people, looks so guilty with her that he can't even look her in the eye? It's one of those things where you know this should all be reversed, but isn't. Why? Why is the betrayer so hostile to the betrayed?

God I loved the messy as fuck whatever they had going on Claudia and Terry dynamic in S7, and I think there's a few reasons why

One of the cruxes of Claudia's character is that she is attached to seeing herself as a good person, and others as not-good by comparison. This means that she can engage in the exact same behaviour and justify it while assuming that others' reasonings couldn't possibly measure up.

This cognitive dissonance is not exclusive to Claudia (Callum and Rayla in particular have a tendency to justify each other's choices in ways they don't with other characters, i.e. Rayla viewing dark magic use being 'evil' except when Callum is using it and he's the 'goodest' person she knows) but the focus on 'my view of myself' largely is. Most other characters in TDP are focused on "I still view this other person as a good person," not being focused on "I view myself as a good person". But Claudia is, and it's this core desire being increasingly pitted against "I will do vile, awful things to keep my family together" that are constantly duking it out.

When Claudia finds Soren and Terry waiting for her, it's clear that not only has Terry joined her brother, but has turned against her (as he could've left and then just fucked off somewhere else). This association with Soren, I think, is one of the things that gets her haunches raised, since Soren made it very clear what he thinks the last time they saw one another in 4x07:

SOREN: You have to stop trying to release the greatest evil this world has ever known. CLAUDIA: I knew you wouldn't understand.

All Claudia hears is "there's something wrong with you." That she's the bad guy and on the Wrong side (which, to be fair, Soren also calls her and Viren bad humans when trying to wake Rex Igneous in 4x09). And, by extension, that Soren is better than her. More correct, more moral, more Right.

And Claudia cannot stand feeling judged. She cannot stand being treated like 'the bad guy' (because of course from her perspective, everything she does is right) and she struggles to hold a conception of "I did something genuinely wrong and can still be a good person" (see: "We're not going to the dungeons Soren, we didn't do anything wrong") usually leaning into one or the other, and normally the latter.

So Terry being with Soren is also "you think I'm wrong, you think I'm bad, and you think you're Better than me" (vs Aaravos' "believed we could be better, so he gave us magic"). She thinks the pair are there to stop her, and she's not wrong, on a certain level.

So when Soren makes a gesture of good will, openly contingent on Terry wanting to spare her ("You're here to save me? How generous [...] I can change, and you will help me. Did I get everything?" Karim vibes), it's just seen as "you're showing off how/why you think you're Better than me" and was, quite frankly, never going to work.

Soren setting down his sword came closer, as it's more reciprocal, and it also symbolizes Soren setting down his mantle/duty (the same sword that killed Viren the first time, presumably). But Soren makes another mistake; the same mistake he made in 4x07:

Dad is dead, Claudia. You don't have to do what he wants anymore.

Set down your staff, Claudia. Dad's staff.

But while Claudia has been doing stuff for Viren, she hasn't done what he wanted in a long time. She's been doing what she wants ("You are not letting go, Dad!") for a hot second, and now alongside Aaravos. (I need to write a scene on her and Aaravos' talk in 7x06, but that's for another day.) And that has included taking down elves and dragons as a whole (and any elf that doesn't help her) for a while.

The dragons and the elves, all the arrogant fools blinded by the searing light of their own self-righteousness.

They are wrong, and she and Aaravos are right ("So much we can make right"). This is a very black-and-white viewpoint in many ways, one that some characters are faster as dismantling than others, but I have no doubt that Arc 3 will push it to its breaking point for all of them. Soren and Terry have thrown in their loyalties with the elves and dragons, since Terry was previously a "good elf Exception" alongside Aaravos because they were both helping her and, as previously discussed, Terry has now turned against her, and all the baggage Claudia carries about such a thing is now dumped onto him by proxy (which Terry doesn't necessarily know or understand).

So what does he look so guilty over?

Honestly? The illusion plan. I'm sure he's worried that Claudia might get hurt, and that things might escalate / go south, but he is ultimately there with a plan that is not what he wanted. What Terry wanted was to find the real Lissa and give Claudia a real chance to connect with her mother and maybe change her ways. But it's not real. It's deception, and he knows it.

TERRY: You lied to me! AARAVOS: I never lie. I simply said we needed a big feather and a very small feather. That is all. TERRY: No. You say you never lie, what you do is worse. You tell people half-truths and let people fill in the rest. You make people lie to themselves. It's deception. It's manipulation, and it's wrong.

She betrayed him, and now in his own way he's betraying her.

So what makes him decide to turn around and do something... similar, shall we say? There's a few things. The first is that they're on a time limit and have no way to reach Lissa. The second is that it's plausible the others were going to do it anyway, and Terry accompanied them because 1) he couldn't stop them, 2) he felt responsible, and 3) hoped that his presence would make a positive difference to Claudia.

The second is the other half of what Aaravos says to Terry, I think.

TERRY: I'll tell Claudia. AARAVOS: Oh, it will change nothing. She loves me. [...] And what of Claudia, then? She knows so much more than she tells you, and she keeps it that way to protect you.

Now, Terry rightfully understands that Claudia wasn't keep things from him to protect him; she did it to use him and to keep him from leaving ("I knew he'd leave once he found out"). However, Terry being willing to live in a half-truth and employ one on Claudia because he genuinely believes it will help her, because he thinks it's a truth he needs to withhold to protect her ("You have to promise me that no harm will come to Claudia" is most easily kept if she backs down)... that I can believe, especially since it lets him believe that she's capable of change/quitting. He wants to Save her, not use her.

That doesn't mean he thinks it won't Hurt.

[lazysoulwriter]

Against All Odds - Joel Miller.

feel free to send me requests! ✎ (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧ ♡*.✧

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

The sun hung low in the sky, casting long shadows across the barren landscape. Joel Miller adjusted the strap of his rifle, his eyes scanning the horizon for any sign of movement. The world had turned into a cruel place, and trust was as rare as a safe haven. Yet, somehow, she had managed to break through his defenses.

“You’re falling behind, old man,” her voice rang out, teasing but firm. She walked ahead, her steps light but purposeful. Despite the grime of the apocalypse, there was an energy about her, a fire that refused to be extinguished.

Joel sighed, quickening his pace. “Watch your tone, kid. You’re not as untouchable as you think.”

She smirked but didn’t look back. “Neither are you.”

There was no denying the truth in her words. Joel knew better than anyone how fragile survival could be. Yet, she carried herself with an unshakable confidence that reminded him of someone he once knew. Maybe that’s why he had let her stay by his side, despite the gnawing voice in his head warning him not to get attached.

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Nightfall found them huddled in the ruins of an old convenience store. Joel worked silently to secure the doors while she rummaged through the shelves.

“Canned peaches,” she said, holding up a dented tin with a triumphant grin. “Dinner of champions.”

Joel shook his head but couldn’t help the slight tug at the corner of his lips. “You’ve got low standards, I’ll give you that.”

They ate in relative silence, the crackle of the small fire between them filling the void. She broke it first.

“You don’t have to be so hard on me all the time, you know. I can handle myself.”

Joel’s jaw tightened. “It’s not about you handling yourself. It’s about knowing when to pick your battles.”

“And you think I don’t?” she shot back, her tone sharper now.

He met her gaze, his voice low. “I’ve seen people like you before. Brave, strong... and gone in a second because they thought they were invincible.”

Her expression softened, but she didn’t back down. “I’m not going anywhere, Joel. Not without a fight.”

His chest tightened at her words. He wanted to believe her, but the fear of loss loomed heavy. He turned away, ending the conversation.

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Days later, danger found them as it always did. A group of raiders ambushed their camp in the dead of night. Chaos erupted as gunshots rang out, and Joel’s instincts took over. He moved with precision, taking down threats one by one. But when he heard her shout, his heart stopped.

She was cornered, her knife gleaming in the moonlight. Joel didn’t hesitate. Within moments, the raider was on the ground, and Joel was at her side, his hands trembling with adrenaline.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice rough.

She nodded, her breathing heavy. “I had it under control.”

“Sure you did,” he muttered, pulling her into a quick embrace. This time, he didn’t let go so quickly. She tilted her head, her gaze meeting his in the dim light. Before either of them could second-guess it, their lips met in a kiss that was anything but brief. It was desperate, as if the world could crumble around them and they wouldn’t care.

When they finally pulled back, Joel’s voice was thick with emotion. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

She smiled softly, her fingers brushing against his cheek. “I can’t promise that. But I’ll try.”

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

In the days that followed, Joel found himself unable to deny the pull he felt toward her. She was everything he thought he couldn’t have in a world like this: hope, light, and a reminder that there was still beauty to be found. One evening, as they set up camp under a canopy of stars, he finally let the words spill out.

“You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met,” he admitted, his voice low. “And you’re making me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time.”

She looked at him, her expression softening. “Joel…”

“Let me finish,” he said, reaching for her hand. “I didn’t want to get close to you. I thought it would make everything harder. But now? I can’t imagine getting through this without you.”

Her eyes glistened as she leaned into him, their foreheads touching. “You’re not getting rid of me, Miller. Not a chance.”

He chuckled, pulling her into a kiss that was softer, slower, but just as passionate as the first. It was a promise, unspoken but understood.

The next test of their bond came sooner than expected. A pack of infected forced them into a frantic escape, their lives hanging by a thread. At one point, she stumbled, and Joel’s heart leaped into his throat. He doubled back, refusing to leave her behind.

“Go!” she shouted, but he ignored her, grabbing her arm and hauling her to safety. Once they were clear, he rounded on her, his voice shaking with both fear and anger.

“Don’t you ever tell me to leave you again!” he growled.

She stared at him, stunned by the raw intensity of his words. “I was trying to protect you.”

“And I’m trying to protect you,” he shot back, his hands gripping her shoulders. “Because I love you, dammit. And I’m not losing you.”

Her breath hitched, and for a moment, the chaos of the world faded away. “I love you too, Joel,” she whispered, pulling him into a kiss that left no room for doubt.

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Their journey was far from over, and the world showed no signs of mercy. But they had each other, and that was enough. Against all odds, they had found a love worth fighting for—and Joel would protect it with everything he had.

[ikkyfics]

Finite Incantatem

Remus Lupin x f!reader

Summary: The days that followed the Patronus were a silent battle. You tried, with all the strength you had, to go back to normal. But what was "normal" when the silver stag continued to haunt your thoughts, even in the absence of its light? You did your best to convince yourself you were fine. And when you couldn’t, Remus was there.

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, no use of y/n, during hogwarts

A/N: anon, I hope this meets your expectations <333!!

Masterlist | Expecto Patronum

The days that followed the Patronus were a silent battle. You tried, with all the strength you had, to go back to normal. But what was "normal" when the silver stag continued to haunt your thoughts, even in the absence of its light?

James didn’t bring it up again, but something had changed about him. He knew, of course. He had seen the Patronus. He understood what it meant, yet somehow, he remained the same James—or almost. He still ruffled his hair with that careless intensity, still made jokes during dinner, still cared in that genuinely selfless way. But now there were moments of silence between you, brief pauses where he seemed to carefully choose his words, as if anything he said could hurt you.

He knew how much it hurt. Maybe because he was dealing with something he didn’t know how to fix either. James loved you. But not in the way you wanted him to. He wanted to see you happy, whole. And that was the cruelest part: he loved you enough to wish you would stop loving him that way.

You did your best to convince yourself you were fine. And when you couldn’t, Remus was there.

You found comfort in his arms, even when you hated needing that comfort. Remus never asked questions. He just knew, as he always had. He didn’t need words to understand you were on the edge of the abyss. He would simply appear, with that calm gaze and a presence that wrapped around you like a blanket in the dead of winter.

That night, after an especially hard day—seeing James and Lily studying together in the library, leaning over the same book, had been enough to crush the fragile control you had managed to rebuild, and you hated yourself for it—you went to the one place you knew you’d find Remus. He was in the common room, near the fireplace, a book resting on his lap and a forgotten cup of tea beside him.

He looked up the moment he heard your footsteps, and the book was closed without hesitation.

“Are you okay?” he asked, but it was rhetorical. He knew you weren’t.

You just shook your head, your eyes brimming with tears. He stood up immediately, walking toward you with slow, deliberate steps, as if not to startle you. When he stopped in front of you, he didn’t say anything. He just opened his arms.

You walked into them as if pulled by some inevitable force. And when his arms wrapped around you, it was as if the world stopped spinning for a moment. There were no words, only the quiet sound of his breathing and the warmth radiating from his body.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered against his chest, your voice weak and broken.

“I know,” he replied, and there was something in his voice—a weight you couldn’t quite identify at the time, but it felt as full of emotion as your own. “I know.”

He held you tightly, one hand moving up to your hair while the other stayed firm on your back, anchoring you. The tears started to fall, slow at first, then in a torrent you couldn’t control. And Remus stayed there, steady, letting you fall apart without saying a word.

There was something comforting in how he didn’t try to fix you. He didn’t say it would be okay because he knew that wouldn’t help. Instead, he just stayed, bearing the weight you couldn’t carry alone.

After a while, as the tears began to slow, you realized how safe it felt to be in his arms. There was a calmness there, something so different from the overwhelming passion you felt for James. Remus’s touch was gentle, almost reverent, as if he were afraid of breaking you.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” he said, his voice low and rough, as if every word carried deliberate care. “I’m here. Always.”

You felt the weight of those words settle in your chest, not in an oppressive way, but in a comforting one. Like a soft reminder that you didn’t have to be strong all the time.

His face was close enough that you could hear the slight unevenness in his breathing, but what stood out most was the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your ear. A simple sound, but in that moment, it felt like the only thing keeping you grounded.

“Thank you,” you murmured, the words difficult to get out past the lump still tight in your throat.

Remus didn’t respond right away. He just stayed there, his calmness seeming infinite. His fingers traced slow, soothing circles on your back, as if he were trying to convey through that gesture everything he wasn’t saying aloud.

And you stayed there, unmoving, feeling as though the weight of the world had finally eased just a little. The pain wasn’t gone—it was still there, a constant presence—but it felt more bearable. Less suffocating. Maybe because he was sharing that burden with you, silently.

“The world feels… a little lighter now,” you whispered, almost without realizing you’d spoken aloud. It wasn’t entirely true, but it was the closest you could admit.

You didn’t see it, but Remus smiled softly. “Sometimes, you just need someone to remind you that you’re not alone.”

There was something in the way he said it, in the gentle, understanding tone, that made your chest tighten. Not from pain, but from gratitude. Because no matter how messy and confusing life was, at least for now, you had a safe harbor.

Silence fell between you again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. On the contrary, there was something almost sacred in that moment. You let your eyes close and focused on the little details: the firmness of his embrace, the warmth radiating from his body, the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat, still steady, still grounding.

The dormitory's silence was comfortable, like a heavy blanket muffling any noise from the outside world. You had stayed longer than you should, delaying the inevitable moment of stepping out and facing the day. You hoped, perhaps, that the common room would already be empty, that everyone had already left for Hogsmeade, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

But when you descended the stairs, you found Sirius lounging casually on the arm of one of the chairs, spinning his wand between his fingers with an expression of pure patience. He looked up the moment you appeared, a mischievous smile spreading across his lips.

"Finally! I thought I’d have to find a way to break into your room," he teased, standing up with his usual carefree grace and crossing his arms. "I thought we might lose you to the castle walls. Are you grounded, or just hiding from me?"

You stopped in the middle of the room, surprised to see him there. "I didn’t think you’d still be here. I thought everyone had already gone."

"I decided to wait," Sirius replied, a playful glint in his eyes. "I told myself, 'Sirius, you're irresistible, but maybe she needs a little nudge today.' So here I am. And before you say no, let me save you the trouble. We're going to Hogsmeade, and you're coming with us."

He stepped closer, stopping in front of you and tilting his head slightly, his dark hair falling over his shoulders. "It’ll be fun. We’ll buy some sweets, maybe one of those terrible teas James insists on drinking, and you’ll remember how good it feels to be with your friends."

You took a deep breath, a familiar tightness in your chest. "Thank you, Sirius, but… I don’t think I want to go."

For a moment, his smile faltered, but it quickly returned, as determined as ever not to take no for an answer. "Oh, come on, don’t make me beg. I’m terrible at begging. My dignity can’t take it."

"Sirius…" you began, but he raised a hand, cutting you off.

"Alright, alright. But just because you’re stubborn doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I’ll give you some time. I’ll be back before you know it. Keep an eye out."

He stepped back, raising his hands as if surrendering. The smile was still there, but something deeper lingered in his eyes — a genuine concern he tried to mask with his usual charm. "You know where to find us if you change your mind."

You simply nodded, and Sirius hesitated for a moment before turning and leaving through the common room entrance, leaving behind a silence that felt almost tangible.

Later, you found solace in wandering the castle. The emptiness of the hallways was almost comforting, the familiar walls seeming to hold your deepest thoughts. You were so absorbed in your own musings that you almost didn’t notice the tall, lean figure at the bend of a corridor.

“Remus?” The surprise colored your voice, pulled from a place you couldn’t quite control. “I thought you went to Hogsmeade.”

He turned, his disheveled hair catching a timid ray of light streaming through a high window. His smile appeared with that characteristic softness, a gesture so subtle it seemed to contain all the warmth of a sunny day.

“I didn’t go,” he said, with the simplicity that made everything about him feel so natural. “I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

You blinked, your eyes fixed on him, and felt your chest tighten in a familiar yet unexpected way. The words were so sincere they hurt. You opened your mouth, struggling to respond, but all that came out was, “You… you didn’t have to do that.”

Remus tilted his head slightly, a trace of amusement in his eyes. “I know,” he replied, his tone calm as always. “But I wanted to.”

Just like that. No room for doubt, no room for misunderstandings. He wanted to stay. For you.

The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable, but it carried something deeper, something that seemed to hum in the air between you. Before you could respond, Remus took a step closer and extended his hand.

“Shall we?” he suggested, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You stared at his hand for a moment, taking in the long fingers, the slightly short nails as if he had a habit of biting them. Hesitant, you placed your hand in his, feeling the warm, surprisingly firm texture of his skin. When he closed his fingers around yours, the gesture was so natural and gentle that your heart stumbled over a beat.

As you walked together, the sound of your footsteps echoing through the empty halls, you couldn’t help but notice how his hand seemed to fit perfectly in yours. It wasn’t something you’d noticed before — the warmth radiating from him, the light but steady pressure of his fingers against yours. It was comforting, like a silent anchor amid the internal storm you’d been battling.

“Remus,” you began, but stopped, realizing you didn’t know exactly what you wanted to say. Maybe it was a thank-you, or maybe it was something you hadn’t yet found the words for.

“Hm?” He glanced at you sideways, his golden-brown eyes catching the soft light filtering through the windows.

You shook your head. “Nothing. Just… thank you.”

He smiled, and you felt something in your chest loosen, as if his presence made the air easier to breathe.

“You know you don’t have to thank me, right?” he said, his voice low, almost a murmur. “I’d do it anyway.”

Once again, you found yourself without a response. He was so simple in his kindness that it was disarming. And yet, you couldn’t ignore the warmth spreading through your chest with every small gesture of his.

His fingers tightened gently around yours, guiding you lightly as he turned into another hallway. You felt a faint shiver run up your arms, not from the cold, but from the strange realization of how natural his touch felt.

The castle felt different with him by your side. The weight you'd been carrying for weeks felt a little less crushing. And, even though you didn't know exactly what it meant, there was something about the way his steps stayed in sync with yours that gave you a new sense of comfort.

"Are you still reading that novel you borrowed from the library?" Remus asked, breaking the comfortable silence as you walked through a corridor bathed in pale morning light.

You smiled softly, thinking about the book that now rested beside your bed, the bookmark still stuck in the same spot where you'd left it days ago. "I'm trying, but I haven't been able to concentrate much lately. Maybe I should pick something lighter."

"Lighter?" Remus raised an eyebrow, that gentle teasing tone so natural to him. "Are you thinking about giving the Quidditch section a chance?"

You laughed, the sound softly echoing off the stone walls. "I said lighter, not guaranteed sleep."

He laughed too, and the sound was warm and inviting, like a mug of hot chocolate on a cold night. The kind of sound that made you want to keep talking, just to hear it again.

"But seriously," you continued, "I think I like novels because they have this… magical thing, you know? That feeling that anything is possible, even if only for a few pages."

"You mean happy endings?" Remus suggested, his playful tone softened by something more genuine.

"That too. But not just that." You hesitated, choosing your words. "I like how they describe… moments. Like a ball, for example. It always seems so… wonderful."

Remus glanced at you, his golden eyes shining in the light. "You've never been to a ball?"

"No." You shrugged, a slightly self-conscious smile escaping. "I wish I knew what it's like. I guess I've always wanted to experience it, but I never had the chance."

He stopped walking, gently pulling you to face him. "I think we can fix that right now."

"What?" You blinked, surprised.

Remus tilted his head as if considering something, then extended his hand to you with a nearly ceremonial gesture. "May I have the honor of this dance?"

The laughter escaped before you could stop it, but there was something in his expression—something sincere and kind—that made your heart skip a beat. "Here? In the middle of the hallway?"

"Why not?" he asked, his playful smile softened by a sparkle in his eyes that made you momentarily forget how to breathe.

Hesitant but unable to resist that look, you placed your hand in his. Remus's fingers wrapped around yours with an almost reverent gentleness, as if he held something as fragile as crystal but as precious as gold. He didn't rush the moment; instead, he let the silence between you speak more than any words could. Then, slowly, he lowered his head, keeping his eyes on yours until the last moment before bringing your fingers to his lips.

The touch was so soft it was almost a whisper, but it was enough to make your heart stumble, as if it had forgotten its rhythm for a brief second. It wasn't just the gesture itself—though there was something old-fashioned and almost poetic about it. It was the intention you felt behind it. As if, in that small act, Remus was trying to say everything he might not know how to put into words.

"Ready for the clumsiest dance of your life?" he asked, his voice low but laced with a touch of humor that brought an involuntary smile to your lips.

"As long as you don't step on my toes," you replied, the playful tone masking the wave of emotion the moment had stirred.

"I'll do my best," he promised, with a smile that made the world feel a little less complicated.

He placed his other hand on your waist, with a care that seemed almost hesitant, as if waiting for a signal from you to continue. When you gave a small nod, he took the first step. There was no music, only the sound of your steps softly echoing through the empty hallway, yet it felt perfect.

You moved slowly, almost as if testing the waters, until the awkward attempt at a waltz soon transformed into something simpler, more natural. Just the gentle sway of two bodies in perfect sync. He laughed when you missed a step, and the sound was so pure, so full of life, that you couldn't help but laugh too.

"I never said I could dance," he teased, lightly squeezing your hand as if to reaffirm the connection between you.

"But I said I trusted you," you replied, feeling your smile widen despite yourself. "Clearly, that was a mistake."

"This isn't so bad, is it?" he countered, feigning offense. "I think we're doing better than I expected."

You didn't answer but allowed yourself to be led. Before you knew it, your movements slowed, the laughter faded, and the dance became just the soft sway of two bodies in perfect harmony. And, at some point, without thinking too much, you rested your head on his shoulder.

It was a natural movement, as if it were the only place in the world you wanted to be. And when you did, you felt his chest rise and fall with his breathing, slow and steady, like an anchor bringing peace to your chaos. His heartbeat echoed against your ear, firm and rhythmic, and there was something incredibly comforting about it. As if, no matter how much the world seemed to be falling apart around you, there, in that moment, everything was exactly as it should be.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, absorbing his warmth, the familiar scent that always surrounded him—a mix of old books and something undeniably him. It was a place where you could simply exist, with no questions, no expectations, no pain.

And then, like a wave silently reaching the shore, the realization hit. You weren’t thinking about James. There wasn’t that heaviness in your chest, that constant ache that always seemed to be there, reminding you of everything that couldn't be. It was as if, for a brief moment, that pain had completely disappeared.

The realization was so sudden that your body tensed for a moment, a movement almost imperceptible, but Remus noticed. He slightly pulled back, just enough to look at you.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice low, almost a whisper, but filled with concern.

"Yes," you replied quickly, not knowing exactly why you felt the need to deny it. "Just… just tired, I think."

He didn’t push. He just observed you for a moment longer, as if trying to decipher something he couldn’t fully understand, before nodding.

"Alright," he said finally, with a small smile that seemed to say he would accept whatever answer you chose to give. And then, with the same gentleness as before, he resumed the slow, soft steps, as if wanting this moment to last forever.

And, for a moment, you allowed yourself to believe that it could. That the world could wait, and that, as long as you were there, in his arms, everything would be okay.

The night was particularly quiet, the castle's dim lights casting soft shadows across the empty corridors. You walked slowly, lost in thoughts that, lately, seemed to have a specific name: Remus. It was almost embarrassing how your mind gravitated toward him effortlessly. The way he smiled, the tilt of his head when he heard something interesting, even the gentle tone of his voice when he spoke about books or simple things. It was disconcerting, like a revelation that had come far too late.

You shook your head, trying to push the thoughts away, but they always seemed to return. How could you have been so blind? Years by his side, and only now were you realizing everything he was? Everything he meant? The fear of ruining anything between you grew with each passing day, like a shadow you couldn't escape.

"Are you lost in the castle, or in your own thoughts?" The familiar voice made you stop abruptly, and you turned to find James, casually leaning against a nearby wall. He wore that mischievous grin as always, but there was something softer in his eyes tonight.

“James,” you responded, surprised. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“I should be asking you that,” he said, straightening up and strolling toward you with relaxed steps. “I thought you’d disappeared off the face of the earth. We haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks.”

You offered a small, hesitant smile. “I... I’ve been busy.”

“You mean you’ve been avoiding everyone,” he corrected, raising an eyebrow. “But I get it.”

The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable but rather heavy with mutual understanding.

“You seem... better, you know?” he commented, breaking the quiet as he crossed his arms, studying you like he was trying to read something in your expression. “Lighter, somehow.”

You laughed softly, the sound low and slightly nervous. “Do I?”

“Yeah,” he affirmed, a playful glint appearing in his eyes. “And I have a theory about that.”

“Oh? And what brilliant theory might that be?”

He took a step closer, a conspiratorial smile tugging at his lips. “I think it has something to do with a certain friend of ours. Quiet guy, likes chocolate, hides behind books.”

Your face immediately heated, and James laughed, clearly pleased with your reaction. “Ah, see? I knew I was right.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said quickly, looking away, but that only made his grin widen.

“Sure, you do,” he countered, tilting his head slightly. “And it’s fine, you know? It’s kind of impossible not to notice. He looks at you like… like you’re the only thing that matters.”

Your heart skipped a beat, but for reasons that had changed over the past few months. The idea of Remus looking at you that way wasn’t something you knew how to process. And yet, it made something warm and unfamiliar stir within you.

James seemed to catch something in your expression because his smile softened. He stepped closer, placing his hands gently on your shoulders. “You deserve to be happy,” he said, his voice lower, more serious. “And if he’s the one who makes you happy, then... don’t hold back, you know? Don’t overthink it. Just... go for it.”

You stared at him, surprised by the weight of his words, and realized something. James was truly happy for you. There was no tension, no awkwardness. He was just your friend, rooting for you, and that was all that mattered.

Before you could respond, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead, a simple gesture but filled with affection and familiarity. “You deserve it,” he repeated, as if he wanted to make sure you never forgot.

And that’s when you realized. His touch didn’t make your heart race. There was no longer that nervous anticipation, that yearning. It was just James, your friend. And for the first time, you wanted nothing more than that.

When he pulled back, there was a soft light in his eyes, like he was genuinely content with the change he saw in you. You watched him for a moment, a shy smile forming on your lips as you decided to say something you’d been holding onto.

“James?” you called, your voice quiet but enough to make him pause and turn back to you.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, looking curious.

“You deserve to be happy too.” The words came out with more conviction than you expected, but it felt too important to let it go unsaid. “And... Lily’s amazing. You two just... make sense. I think she’s good for you.”

He blinked, surprised, before a slow, genuine smile spread across his face. “You really think so?”

“I do.” You nodded, feeling a strange lightness in saying it out loud. “You deserve someone who makes you smile that goofy smile you don’t even realize you’re doing. And she does, doesn’t she?”

James let out a short laugh, slightly embarrassed. “Yeah, maybe I’m a bit obvious.”

“A bit?” you teased, smiling softly. “James, you’ve always been obvious.”

“Hey!” He feigned indignation, but the laughter escaped him anyway. He looked relieved, almost as if he’d been waiting for your approval without realizing it.

There was a moment of silence between you, one of those moments that didn’t need filling. You knew each other so well that words were sometimes unnecessary. When he finally spoke, his voice was gentler.

“I don’t want us to lose this, you know? You and me. We’ve always been a team.” He rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture betraying a hint of nervousness. “Lily’s... special. But you’re still my friend, and that’s not going to change.”

“Not for a second.” You smiled, feeling entirely sincere. “Always a team, right?”

“Right.” He stepped closer, his eyes warm in a way that felt reassuring. “Now, go get some sleep, or Remus will blame me for your dark circles tomorrow.”

You laughed, the sound light, lifting the remaining weight in your chest. “Good night, James.”

“Good night,” he replied, waving as he began to walk away. “And think about what I said, okay?”

You stood there for a moment, watching where he’d disappeared, before finally turning around. There was no more heaviness, no more ache. Just a quiet gratitude for the fact that he had been—and always would be—a vital part of your life. And with that, you knew he’d always be there, just as you would always be for him.

The sun seemed different that day, as if it knew something special was in the air. The golden light bathed the land far from the castle, where an old blanket was spread out beneath the welcoming shade of a tree. It was the place you and Remus always chose to hide from the world, surrounded by books and an almost untouchable peace.

But today wasn’t about books. Not for you.

Remus was lying on the blanket, his arms behind his head, eyes closed as the sun kissed his skin. There was something so carefree in the way he rested there, his brown hair slightly messy and a calmness that seemed rare for him. You watched him with a restless heart, almost embarrassed by the intensity of your own thoughts.

He had always been beautiful to you, but now... now there was something more. Something that made your chest tighten every time he was near, something you knew you couldn’t ignore anymore.

You took a deep breath, trying to push away the anxiety that was growing inside you, and focused on the sight in front of you. He looked so relaxed, so different from the composed and disciplined Remus he showed the world. Without even realizing it, you began to lean closer.

Your eyes stopped on the scars that cut across his face, faint but impossible to ignore. They had always been there, but for some reason, today they seemed to scream for your attention. Before you could think better, your hand moved on its own, fingers gently brushing against his skin.

Remus startled at the touch, his eyes snapping open as he tried to pull away.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, his voice embarrassed and almost inaudible. “I... I…” Remus began, sitting up suddenly, his face already flushed with shame, as if he had made an unforgivable mistake by letting you get so close. “Sorry, I shouldn’t—”

“Remus.” Your voice was calm but firm, cutting through the whirlwind of apologies before he could continue. He stopped, hesitating, his eyes downcast as if he were trying to hide the vulnerability that kept slipping out.

“It’s okay,” you murmured, your voice as soft as the touch of your fingers still hovering in the air between you.

He hesitated again, the discomfort visible in the furrowing of his brows and the way his hand instinctively went to his face, trying to cover the scars he clearly thought were something to hide.

“I... I know they’re ugly,” he murmured, the words almost lost in the breeze. His voice was so quiet, so filled with silent pain that it squeezed your heart.

You shook your head slowly, feeling your throat tighten, and before you could stop yourself, your hand rose again. But this time, you didn’t stop. Your fingers touched his cheek more firmly, a deliberate caress that made him freeze.

“Remus,” you began, your voice steady but full of tenderness. “No scar of yours would make me love you less.”

He blinked, his eyes wide as his hand stayed where it was, the palm feeling the warmth of his skin. The confusion mixed with disbelief in Remus’s gaze made him look even younger, even more vulnerable than you already knew he was.

“I…” He tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come, as if they were stuck in his throat.

“You don’t have to hide,” you continued, your fingers tracing the line of one of his scars almost reverently. “These marks tell your story. And every part of it makes you who you are.”

Remus let out a tremulous sigh, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. He didn’t say anything, but you could see it in his eyes—a storm of emotions he couldn’t contain anymore.

“I…” you started, but the words died before they left your lips. Your heart felt like it was beating so loudly that he must have heard it. The silence that followed wasn’t empty; it was thick, laden with everything you had been feeling, with everything that was about to overflow.

Remus waited, his eyes fixed on yours, saying nothing, but you could see the concern in him. As if he was more worried about what you couldn’t say than about the silence itself.

“Sorry,” you murmured, averting your gaze for a moment, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I just… I don’t know how to say this.”

He tilted his head, his hands still firmly on the ground beside the blanket, but not intrusive. “It’s okay,” he said softly, his voice low, almost a whisper. “You can tell me whatever you want, in your time.”

That gentleness, that patience... it was exactly what had always been there, right in front of you, but it had taken you so long to see it.

“That’s it,” you finally said, your voice more rushed than you intended. “That’s it. You’ve always been this way, Remus. Always so…” You took a deep breath, summoning courage. “So kind, so patient, so... you.”

He blinked, as if he didn’t know where you were going, but the light blush that colored his cheeks showed that he was starting to understand.

“I…” You looked away again, your fingers instinctively tracing an imaginary line on the fabric of the blanket. “I feel so stupid. For so long, everything I needed was right here. And I was blind. Blind to you. To us.”

Remus opened his mouth to say something, but you raised your hand, stopping him. “Please, let me finish.”

He nodded, his gaze now so intense it felt like it was piercing you.

“I never understood why you were always so close,” you continued, your voice trembling slightly. “Even when you didn’t need to be. Even when I was so… stuck on something that was never going to take me anywhere.”

Remus lowered his eyes for a moment, as if he was protecting something he didn’t want you to see.

“But now I see,” you said, your voice softening. “I see it was you. It was always you. And I don’t know how I never realized it before, but... I see it now.”

He raised his eyes again, and the intensity in his gaze took your breath away. There was no rush, just a sea of emotions you could barely decipher.

“I’m in love with you, Remus,” you whispered finally, the words coming out like a secret you barely dared to reveal. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

The silence between you was absolute, but not uncomfortable. It was as if the whole world was waiting, holding its breath with you.

Then, slowly, he lifted a hand, hesitant but steady, and placed it gently against your cheek. The warmth of his touch made your heart stumble.

“I’ve waited,” he said, his voice hoarse but full of emotion. “I waited because you’re worth it. You’ve always been worth it.”

His eyes burned with tears you hadn’t known you were holding back, but you couldn’t speak, because at that moment, he leaned in, closing the distance between you.

When his lips met yours, it was as if all the pieces finally clicked into place. The kiss was slow, tender, filled with everything you both were feeling. There was no rush, just the certainty that this moment was exactly where you belonged.

The world seemed to stop in that instant. All that existed was the warmth of his fingers against your skin, the brown eyes looking at you with a tenderness so overwhelming it made your heart race. You had never felt so seen, so understood.

“I’m yours,” he repeated, almost in a whisper, as if those words carried a weight he was relieved to finally share.

A soft smile spread across your lips, and you tilted your face slightly against his hand, savoring the touch. “And I’m yours, Remus,” you replied, your voice almost breaking with emotion. “I always have been, even when I didn’t know.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if he needed to focus to process it all. When he opened them again, there was a different shine there—something that blended relief, happiness, and a calm yet intense joy.

You lifted your hand, your fingers hesitating as they traced the line of his jaw, outlining the small imperfections that seemed to tell stories you knew he rarely shared. “I want to take care of your heart,” you said softly, your voice filled with a promise that came from the depths of your soul. “The way you’ve taken care of mine.”

He laughed, a low, almost disbelieving sound, but not in mockery. It was the sound of someone who had finally received something they had longed for so long. “You already do,” he said, his voice thick. “You always have.”

You moved a little closer, until your foreheads were touching, and the world around you completely disappeared. “I want to do this forever,” you murmured. “With every part of me.”

His lips found yours again, this time with a softness that was almost reverent, as if he wanted to hold onto that moment forever. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was a meeting of souls, a silent exchange of everything you both felt.

When he pulled away, just enough to look at you again, there was a smile on his lips that seemed to light up his whole face. “I never thought I could be this happy,” he said, the sincerity in his voice almost taking your breath away.

You laughed softly, touching his cheek with affection. “Neither did I,” you confessed. “But now I know. I know it all makes sense because it’s with you.”

He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist, and this time, it was he who hid his face in the curve of your neck. “I won’t let you go,” he murmured against your skin. “Never.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere,” you replied, your fingers weaving through his hair.

You stayed there, in each other’s arms, as the soft wind played with the leaves around you, the warmth of the sun heating your bodies. It was so simple, yet so perfect.

Remus leaned back just enough to place a brief kiss on your forehead, then another on the tip of your nose, and another on your lips. Small gestures, full of affection that seemed to overflow from within him.

“I love you,” he said softly, looking into your eyes as if he wanted to imprint that moment in his memory forever.

Your heart tightened, but this time it was a good tightness, filled with emotion. You pulled him into a quick kiss, feeling his smile against your lips. “I love you too.”

You didn’t need any more words. It had all been said, it had all been felt. What mattered was what you both knew, right then, in that instant: that together, you were complete.

The cold breeze of the Forbidden Forest surrounded you as you stood alone in the same place where so many things had changed. Time seemed to have passed too quickly since that day with Remus, since the moment when everything in your life had transformed. Now, you were together, and you still wondered how it had taken you so long to see what had always been right in front of you.

But, in that moment, something different occupied your thoughts.

The wand was firm in your hand, although your fingers trembled slightly. You knew what you wanted to do, but the fear still hovered over you like a shadow. What if the stag appeared again?

You closed your eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, letting the gentle sound of the wind and the distant song of birds calm your nerves. Remus wasn't there now, but just thinking of him, something inside you filled with courage.

He was your home.

With your heart pounding, you opened your eyes, raised your wand, and, with firmness in your voice, you spoke:

“Expecto Patronum.”

The silvery light burst from the tip of the wand, strong and vibrant, illuminating the space around you with an almost ethereal beauty. You held your breath, your eyes wide as the shape began to materialize.

It was no longer a stag.

Before you, a delicate silver fox took form, its movements graceful like a dance as it walked around, its eyes shining like stars. The long, elegant tail swayed gently, and, for a moment, the fox stopped, looking directly at you as if it knew exactly who you were and what you represented.

Your heart leaped.

The fox was perfect. Strong, yet agile. Clever, yet full of charm. Delicate, but able to defend itself. And, somehow, you knew it was a reflection of who you had become, of who you had always been — someone who found strength in delicacy and courage in love.

Tears filled your eyes, but you smiled. It was as if that moment closed a cycle, as if everything had finally found its place.

[419jhat]

Back before Steve met Dustin the way he does in Steve and Eddie's Tryst Through Time, this was the original scene. I cut it up and added bits and pieces elsewhere. I thought it would be fun to share the original idea, even if it's incomplete because I scrapped it.

***

Steve woke up to the sound of the door being kicked in. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. Eddie groaned and flipped onto his stomach. Steve stared at him for a moment, taking in the first time he’d seen Eddie in a sleeping position other than “Dead in a Coffin.” (Except for the time they got high, and Eddie fell asleep hanging half off the bed. But Eddie’s drug-induced state didn’t really count.) The banging continued, so it was up to Steve to handle it. He slipped out of bed and opened the front door, only to look down. There was a child in front of him.

“Who the fuck are you?” the child asked.

Steve rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Uh, hello? Dude, are you listening to me? Who are you?”

Jesus, the kid had an attitude. Steve examined him closer. He had a mop of curly hair shoved under a baseball cap and a Hellfire club t-shirt. This was one of Eddie’s kids.

“Are you looking for Eddie?” he asked.

“Why are you in pajamas?” the kid asked back.

What had he done to deserve this? Steve looked down at himself and then shrugged. “Probably because I was sleeping before I opened the door to the world’s bitchiest Oompa Looma?”

“If you're making fun of my height, I'll have you know that I grew two inches over summer and my family doctor says I'm going to keep growing. Why are you sleeping at Eddie’s place? Are you his brother? He never mentioned having a brother. You don’t even look like him. Are you adopted?”

“Ok,” Steve muttered. He swung the door shut right in the kid's face.

“Hey!” the kid yelled, and then the banging continued. Steve walked into the bedroom and picked up a pillow. He fluffed it for a second and then swung it as hard as he could at the back of Eddie’s knees.

“AAHH!” Eddie shrieked, leaping into the air and landing on his back. He scrambled out of the bed, arms out, ready to catch any more swings of the pillow.

“Why would you do that?” he whined.

“Go handle your kid,” Steve said.

“What?”

The banging continued.

“Oh my god what is happening,” Eddie whispered.

Steve followed Eddie to the door, which Eddie ripped open, looking more than upset he’d been woken up for this.

“Eddie! I figured it out! Your problem was that guy, wasn’t it? Is he a criminal or something? Are you hiding him from the police?”

“Your problem?” Steve repeated.

“How did you find out where I live?” Eddie asked the child.

“Chris told me,” he said.

“Fucking Chris,” Eddie sighed. “Dustin, it’s too early for this. What do you want?”

So, this was Dustin. Suddenly, Steve understood Eddie’s fear of children, if this was what he had to deal with. Steve wandered into the kitchen, where he could watch the drama unfold and make coffee at the same time. He never drank coffee to wake up, but Eddie did, and for once, he felt like he could use it too.

“You said we could come to your place to watch a movie.”

“At five in the morning!?”

“No, I’m just here to ask if you got the movie,” Dustin said.

“At five in the morning!?” Eddie repeated.

Dustin at least had the self-awareness to look embarrassed. “I thought it would take longer for me to bike here. I wanted to get here at six.”

“Hey little man, I respect the effort,” Steve said.

Dustin looked disgusted.

“Who is this again?” he asked, waving in Steve’s general direction.

“What are you, my mom? Why are you so up my ass about this, Henderson?”

“My name is Steve,” Steve said, as he poured boiling water into a cup with instant coffee mix.

“Steve!” Eddie barked.

“What? Is he not allowed to know that or something?”

“He’s never going to leave us alone,” Eddie whined. Steve handed him the coffee and Eddie took a careful sip. He made a face and leaned over the counter to grab the sugar.

“Why are you talking about me like I’m not even here?” Dustin pouted.

“Because I’m pretending you aren’t,” Eddie said.

“Can I have some coffee, Steve?” Dustin asked sweetly.

Steve shrugged and handed the kid his cup, which Eddie intercepted.

“I’m sorry, no. He’s already lost his fucking mind; he doesn’t need to add a stimulant to his current state.”

“You’re rude when you’re sleepy,” Dustin said.

“And you’re rude, like, all the time, you little stalker.”

Steve opened the fridge and grabbed some orange juice for him instead.

"I'm not a stalker!" Dustin protested.

Eddie looked like he was about to kick him out of the trailer. "Uh you found me when I was dealing at the quarry, and now you've managed to find my address. What, do you want my phone number too?"

"The quarry was different...we didn't mean to find you there," Dustin said with a degree of hesitation that Steve found to be odd.

"That's not what you said when you found me! You need to learn some boundaries, dude!"

Steve didn't know a lot about children, but the way Dustin looked down at his own hands and began fiddling with them made Steve think Dustin was hiding something. Then, Dustin looked right up at Steve like he was the real intruder that morning.

“So, was I right? Is Steve why you canceled D&D?” Dustin asked as he downed the orange juice in one gulp.

Eddie sighed and slowly collapsed onto the counter.

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell us. Unless he is a criminal or something. And if that’s the case, we may still be able to help you out depending on what he did. We know people.”

Steve wasn’t entirely sure what was happening, but Eddie looked beyond irritated, so he figured it was his turn to jump in.

“I’m not a criminal, Dustin. Eddie’s an old friend and I’m staying with him for a bit. I had an emergency and he helped me out.”

“What kind of emergency?”

Who did this kid think he was, the FBI? He was nosier than his mom. Good thing Steve knew how to handle nosey people. He slammed his coffee cup on the counter and went with the closest thing to the truth he could think of.

“My parents died,” he said.

The blood drained out of Dustin’s face so fast Steve almost thought he’d fall over. Eddie turned around and gave Steve a look. Steve reached over and nudged his shoulder.

“Oh my God dude, that’s awful,” Dustin breathed.

“Yeah, so stop asking questions, you little shit,” Eddie said.

“Sorry,” Dustin said. He looked down at his shoes with guilt swimming in his eyes, like a puppy. Steve decided to take pity on him.

“Did you eat breakfast yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, I had some toast.”

“That’s not a real breakfast,” Steve said.

“That’s what we usually eat for breakfast,” Eddie muttered.

"I'll make you some eggs, and you can tell me about your D&D plan to turn on everyone."

"YOU TOLD HIM!?" Dustin yelled with all of the power of an energetic child. Eddie looked like he was going to cry into his mug.

"He's not in the campaign dude, it's ok."

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!"

Eddie dropped his face onto the counter and Steve decided to intervene again.

"I don't really understand D&D, but it sounds like your character is secretly a bad guy? I thought it was super cool."

Steve cracked some eggs into a bowl and whisked them with a fork. When Dustin didn't answer, he looked over his shoulder. The kid was just staring at him.

"You thought it was cool?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, little dude. It's super creative. And to have kept it a secret this whole time? Genius."

He was laying it on a little thick, but it worked. Dustin's face lit up with the compliment and Steve realized he must have awakened something because then Dustin began to ramble about his character's story. The kid was talking so fast, all Steve could do was nod and hum in agreement as he fished around the fridge for cheese and any vegetables he could add to the omelets. Onions were his best bet. Eddie looked like he'd passed out right there standing up. When the eggs were done, Steve placed a plate in front of each of them.

"Wow, these are soooo good!" Dustin exclaimed. Then he turned to Eddie and smacked him on the back. Eddie shot up, nearly knocking his coffee over. "Dude, try this! Steve made it! He can cook better than my mom!"

"That's probably not true," Steve said.

Eddie didn't even wait for Steve to grab him a fork. He grabbed it with his bare hands and shoveled the omelet into his mouth like it was a hot dog.

"What are you-"

Eddie cut Steve off with an overdramatic moan of appreciation. Steve had to bite his lip to hide his smile.

"Oh. My. God. This is so good, I don't even want to add ketchup!"

"Alright dude, calm down they're not that good," Steve said.

"Steve. They're that good. They're so good I'm wondering why the fuck I've been making toast and peanut butter sandwiches every morning when we could have been eating like kings."

It wasn't polite to fish for compliments, but Steve was enjoying the praise.

"You want me to cook for you more often, Eds?" he asked, unable to hide his smile.

"If it's like this? Every fuckin' day, Stevie," Eddie replied. His fingers were greasy from eating with his bare hands like a weirdo and he'd dripped coffee on the front of his white T-shirt. He was a total mess but Steve couldn't stop smiling back at him.

"Will you cook for me too?" Dustin asked.

"No," Steve and Eddie said at the same time.