#i feel so worn down
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Harry the goldfish
#this is from the times i thought i'd ever be strong enough to handle a human comic. how wrong i was#tw blood#i feel so worn down#i've gone into one of those moods where all my projects seem ugly and pointless and unsalvageable#but it'll pass like always#so no need to get concerned about their future
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hm...
#i rly hate how bitter ive become#m trying to be positive n happy but#i feel so worn down#n i dnt wanna be#squeaks.♡
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wolfwood redraws (ID in alt text)
#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#going to be talking vol 9 spoilers in here pls do not read if u have not read it!!#wolfwood my beloved. he's such a battle genius with such strong survival instincts and incentive to fight. it makes me so sad but also#it's just the way he's been able to live for as long as he has [explodes]#midvalley calling him a demon/devil (iforget which word) and livio being like “victory seems impossible” when faced against him aughhh AUGH#he's clearly not invincible - vol 8 proved that when he almost did get beat if not for vash swooping back in... but the way he carries#the battles really makes it feel like it. especially whenever he “revives” for the sake of protecting another person. i.e. him getting#back up to defeat livio - him battered and worn from the fight but then pushing his body to get up when chapel aimed at the orphanage#and then despite the blood gushing out of him he still regained cautiousness to defend razlo at the end.... ugh.... ugh.....#anyway... i love how nightow draws ww - these were fun to do. ive been meaning to do these redraws esp from vol 9/10#and maybe ill go back to do redraws from his previous fights. all and all i just need to get down how he uses the punisher properly#ruporas art
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i love you tiny costume details. i love tiny pieces of jewelry or patches that add so much to a character. i love you costume designers that allow for personalization. i love you i love you i love you
#yes this is about the outsiders#soda's cowboy boots for his horse mickey mouse#its not even mentioned in the show but the fact that its part of his costume specifically for that horse makes me so happy#ponyboy's little pegasus/horse necklace#and the track shirt that is so worn out and faded but you still Know its from track#nother character detail that isnt mentioned verbally but still very much a part of him#and dont get me started on the embroidery on Johnny's vest#i like to imagine either he did it himself#maybe while sitting alone in the lot or outside his house#with nothing else to do but sit and listen to his parents fight#or maybe its a hand-me-down that he found around his house#something that makes him feel a little closer to whatever family he has out there#because nonmatter how awful his parents are family is clearly very important to him#i could talk about him for HOURS#i need emma to have another costume details segment on her vlogs because i love it sososoososos much#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#johnny cade#ponyboy curtis#ponyboy#sodapop curtis
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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I put some fishnets on!!
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#fishnet friday#I managed to put some fishnets on today and I am very proud of myself.#Happy fishnet Friday to all those who may celebrate ✨#I am so exhausted and worn down rn but at least im a little bit delicious. I put my pjs over this instead of actual clothes#At least until I feel like taking some more pics 😂#satans knitwear#alt pinup#pinup girl#pretty lingerie#fishnet lingerie#cheeky
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3 extra people in your head = 4x the hairstyle opportunities
#yugioh arc v#ygo arc v#arc v#zuzu boyle#yuzu hiiragi#celina#serena#rin#lulu obsidian#ruri kurosaki#arc v art#my art#drawing this made me realize how much more similar zuzu + co. look to each other compared to yuya + co#zuzu and celina in particular have pretty much exactly the same hair just in different colors + worn differently#rin + lulu are the outliers with shorter + longer hair respectively but even they still have the two strands framing their face#i kinda struggled with rin tbh i feel like i don't have a good grasp on her personality and it comes across when i draw her#but i ended up feeling like high pigtails / low pigtails / high ponytail / low ponytail was a good contrast between everyone#(and rin with her hair down just looked like lulu)#their colors don't clash nearly as bad as yuya + co.'s do either so there's a bit more cohesion among them -#- which is ironic considering the boys are the ones with identity issues and the girls are the ones with greater independence comparatively#but i've said too much already...(tugs my hat down and walks away pensively)
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I've had to fork out £300 for a new dryer (rip me), and buy new internal doors (2 out of... Ugh 6 in total) on top of all the usual stuff I have to manage and I'm really, really stressed about it all now. I'm making sure I have the main essentials but it's hard. Really, really hard. My overdraft is literally laughing at me. Gods but I'd like this to not be a problem for me. What timing. Especially after having to sort the car last month too.
#Personal#Kat talks#I'm just gonna go and cry I think#Like I'm just worn out#I feel like I've been ground to dust#And then ground down further to nothing#Gods I'm just so so tired
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Life on the farm
#gopher art#mortal kombat#subscorp#mk subzero#mk scorpion#kuai liang#hanzo hasashi#mortal kombat legends#been holding onto this one for a bit! finished it more than a month ago lol#i was originally going to save it for subscorp week but then i was like. nah. that wouldnt be entirely fair lol#and besides. ive been wanting to share it for long enough and my resolve has kinda worn down#anyway - snowblind but AU'd! heres my concept of this (which i may use later on for something idk): king kano got his shit wrecked#like way before the events of the movie. by the revenants in fact. i want him torn to shreds. you still have random roving assholes#making trouble across the wastes. but its much less dire. kuai still retires to his farm. kenshi still falls for shang tsung's bullshit#and kuai mentors him. hanzo becomes warlord of netherrealm. BUT. he and kuai keep in contact. its long distance and they make it work#sometimes scorpion vacays to Kuai's farm. as a treat. thats what this drawing is#i cant deny that i literally just want them to be happy ok. thats literally all i want for these gay old ninjas#bonus commentary: at the time of drawing this i was still figuring out how i wanted to draw hanzo. he's so fucking hard to draw#when i draw him without his mask or beard he looks so fucking off. but if i draw him with the beard it feels weird too.#babygirl why are you so hard to draw?? dont you want me to draw you?????
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finally sending my busted old montblanc in for repairs after sitting on it for over a decade everyone wish me a not too expensive quote
#fountain pens#it was properly messed up. i spent a long time trying to fix it myself to little avail#its so special to me i really wanna see it working again someday and parts for its particular make are SUPER RARE#old man gave my mom a big bag of old pens as thanks for her help back when she worked at the bank and she gave it to me#and the montblanc was the one fountain pen in there and it was like a magical treasure to me#especially cus the nib feels SOOO good. it feels amazing#i can only assume the old man was left handed cus it's worn down in such a perfect way for me specifically#also embarrassing and sad but the damage was entirely caused by 14 year old me trying to take apart the piston to clean it#its my one big regret#whenever i think about the time machine to go back and fix something scenario the first thing that comes to mind is this pen#going back to teen me and saying PUT THE PEN DOWN IT LITERALLY JUST NEEDS TO SOAK IN SOME WATER AND A LITTLE FRESH SILICONE GREASE#my bemoanings
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just saw someone misread kamen and fionas relationship so bad someone hold me back
#(scavengers reign on netflix now u should watch it tho)#kiddo say#spoilers ->#implying she's abusive towards kamen because shes cold to him 😐.......... fiona i will avenge you#the reason fiona is so cold towards him is because he's selfish and uncaring towards her. he has worn her down so much that#shes exhausted . she's trapped on the demeter with him with no other family. she gave up her whole life for him and he doesnt#even care about how she feels . just how she feels about him and how he can brag when he feels big and important#he only panics around her when he realises she could leave him because he's just kind of pathetic and doesnt have shit without her#bc kamen wears people down . he's unwilling to work on himself or listen to others thats why he corrupts the hollow#and why him and sam fail to communicate. theyre both too stubborn. but unlike kamen sam does actually care abt his crew#shes given up on the relationship so she fails to communicate but theres only so much she can rly do at that point like. shes so tired#you know what i mean ..#he only cries and regrets what he did when he's confronted by it stranded alone on vesta minor and even then he wont confront it#he lets hollow absorb him#(this also doesnt mean that kamen isnt interesting and tragic. because he is. its just his own doing)
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UPDATE: A REASON FOR MY ABSENCE, A BRIEF SUMMARY Normally I don't make posts about my life but I think I need to give an update to all the peeps out there about my random absences. I don't talk about my life a lot due to the amount of dysfunction and heartache that goes on behind the scenes that drain my will to be creative, to interact with everyone, to even live. It's like every year that goes on, there was something in the background that disrupted my life and mental state further.
First and foremost I've grown up a parentified child taking on responsibilities not mine to bear with no say in the matter. Being forced to give up my own childhood for my own parent's selfish decisions. Then I moved away from my mother's to my father's. Which wasn't even better from 2014-2019 living with him was very terrifying due to his anger issues and violence whenever I didn't do things his way. He had this expectation for me to go to college full time while working full time and expected me to pay for my own college and pay him rent. When I stopped going to school to focus on working, he would verbally and sometimes physically hurt me. I had lost a severe amount of weight due to the stress and decided to move back in with my mother in 2019.
Fast forward 2021 my father died of cancer and my mom is in a custody battle with one of her many baby daddies and looked to me for financial support since she hadn't worked in nearly a decade. I had started a new job around that time but my mental health was drained at that point.
Now in 2024 my mother has decided to bring my elderly and sick grandmother into the household where we don't have a lot of resources and we really aren't equipped to give her proper care. But now the table has turned where she has finally got a new job a month ago and I am not working currently. She decided to dump the task of taking care of a confused, incontinent, elderly grandmother onto. Even though my own mother never had anything good to say about her own mother and I don't have great experiences with my grandma either. But we have to take care of her because "we're family." Gimme a break.
So right now I'm a bit pissed, sad, tired, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions. If you ever want to know why Koji is gone all the time. Here is your answer. Family life bullshit.
But not to worry, I've been working on trying to get myself out of this hole I've seemed to find myself in again. Because I do want to interact with all my new followers and old ones. It's just that I've been recovering from deep wounds.
#ooc#& the stoic facade shattered (ooc)#{To everyone wondering where my ass has gone this time. The explanation for my random comings and goings.}#{I don't take random hiatuses to be malicious or lazy but for health reasons}#{Also my mom is a hoarder and the only time the house is clean is if I clean it. living in chaos constantly has worn me down}#{I honestly feel like my muse so much since our lives seem to have been nothing but tragedy and heartache. Such fucking loneliness.}#{Roleplaying has been a small reprieve from the nightmare that is my family}#{Sorry for the rant but yeah this is D-mun y'all}#{I've been trying to get back into rping cause I miss you guys but life is hard sometimes.}
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WOOOOOOO THE BASE FOR MY PILLARS HOODIE IS FINALLY DONE
#thanks mom <- the sewing expert#the hoodie has a cool lining now and specifically on the sleeves and the hood it's this soft knitted fabric that feels REALLY good to wear#the back is just recycled t shirt fabric but that's fine it's warm and colorful which was the point#also per my request the zipper was replaced with buttons#it looks SO COOL now. and it feels heavier and warmer and nicer to wear. and it also has kind of a vintage vibe bc the hoodie we used as the#base was pretty worn down and washed out#and now all that's left is to come up with a design#ngl I might keep this one lowkey because I kind of want to let the hoodie itself shine here#but we'll see what I end up wit#*with#project: hoodies
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Runaway Narinder aus are a rlly fun concept but I’m surprised I haven’t seen one where Lamb just doesn’t particularly care that he’s gone.
Usually the Lamb is like obsessed with Narinder and doesn’t let him leave and when he does they try to find him again and bring him back to the cult ( and I’m not rlly any different bc with my other lamb Maveths main canon he is actively searching for Narinder after his escape )
#might make it like a side au/scenario for Solanges verse#tbh idk why Narinder doesn’t just up and leave in the main canon of it#bc Solanges not stopping him#i wanna say it’s to spite her at first and then he just doesn’t have any motivation to after getting worn down#anyways I’ll call it Narinders Grand Adventure#I already hc that Narinder has threatened to leave Solanges flock on a couple occasions#and she’s like: lol ok then#and then Narinder doesn’t leave bc he refuses to give her the satisfaction#so in this au he threatens to leave and Solange responds with: you keep saying that but you never do bc you’re a pussy#and Narinder doubles down and like actually leaves when Solange goes to the lonely shack to hang out with ratau and co#Solange comes back and is like: where the fuck is Nari?#and one of her followers ( Probably Ellena ) is like: oh he left#and Solange is like: wait fr?#and for like a split second she debates on bringing him back#but dismisses the thought and just carries on with her life/duties#this all happens before she meets mystic seller btw#as for the bishops I think she kinda does what she does in the main canon#or she just takes Shamura in ( in this au she does the purgatory releases in order of when she fought them )#both bc she wants closure#and bc of their condition#she already feels sorta shitty for leaving the other bishops behind ( or at the very least leaving leshy to fend for himself )#but she knows that if she left Shamura to fend for themselves she’d feel really guilty despite her not liking the bishops#like with the others she can justify it with that their conditions wouldn’t fully impact their ability to survive ( except for Leshy )#but Shamura is a different case to her#idk if it rlly matters bc like a solid chunk of the au would just be Narinder fending for himself and other shenanigans#cosmic chatz#cult of the lamb
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This shot, though.
This shot is so good. At this exact moment, he’s staring at his reflection on the tokijin and says, “Useless”. They didn’t have to time it that way or have him staring at his reflection on his beaten down very worn sword as he said it, but they freaking did.
*goes feral* *gnaws through metal* *claws at the screen*
I freaking love this moment.
Are they using tokijin as a representation of his mental state? It feels like they’re using tokijin as a representation of his mental state. Which makes him using tenseiga to protect himself and his brother after even better, because tenseiga is a sword of healing.
#Sesshomaru your daddy issues are showing#sesshomaru#Inuyasha#swords of an honorable ruler#Inuyasha movie 3#he so obsessed with power and surpassing his father but he was given a sword of compassion#and he’s so busy fighting with Inuyasha instead of working together rhag they can’t kill their foe#but to Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru feels cheated and convinced Inu is the favored son. and that with their dad dead he can’t properly surpass#him. and because he is unable to surpass he’s unable to defeat who should be an otherwise easily defeated foe.#and then they frame the shot of him saying USELESS while looking at his reflection on his worn down sword#in this essay i will
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So I don’t get the Jack Frost thing HOWEVER I did have a crush on Jack Frost from the rise of the guardians movie ….. just tryna to relate
you and like 90% of this website back in 2012 😂💖 this doesn't surprise me about you in the slightest!!!
the Rise!Jack Frost hype completely passed me by, but i do remember the absolute joy of what Tumblr was like back then!!! Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons. shipping Jack and Elsa. the most incredible boom of fanart and creativity and sheer unabashed fandom fun...it was so sweet!! 😭💖 and i totally get why everyone crushed on Jack!! mischievous teenage heartthrob with sick ice powers - honestly, it's a miracle that little-me wasn't caught along with you 😂 thank you for this bonding experience...
however.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T GET THE MARTIN SHORT JACK FROST THING????
how can you not look at this man and not come down with a case of the vapours??? 🥴❄️ he is STUNNING!!! his smile, his voice, his demeanour, his eloquence, his style, his charm...if you can't see it, i can't help you 🙈💖and for once this isn't a bizarre hear-me-out, i've heard from dozens of people over the past week who crushed so, so hard on this version of Jack Frost!! and i hadn't even seen the movie when someone sent him to my inbox, and it was an instant kill. this guy's never leaving my brain. it's terminal 😳 at the end of the day, i think this is because you've always had good, dependable taste in characters, and i like mine with a side of goofy 😂💖
#over time i wonder if you will slowly be worn down and end up seeing the appeal of my beloved freaky fellas#or if you'll just feel emboldened to fess up like so many others on this blog 😉#jack frost#rise!jack frost#martin short!jack frost#rise of the guardians#the santa clause 3: the escape clause#rotg#the santa clause 3#the santa clause#chris pine#martin short#starleskasks#long post
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