#& the stoic facade shattered (ooc)

[vxmpirehunterd]

UPDATE: A REASON FOR MY ABSENCE, A BRIEF SUMMARY Normally I don't make posts about my life but I think I need to give an update to all the peeps out there about my random absences. I don't talk about my life a lot due to the amount of dysfunction and heartache that goes on behind the scenes that drain my will to be creative, to interact with everyone, to even live. It's like every year that goes on, there was something in the background that disrupted my life and mental state further.

First and foremost I've grown up a parentified child taking on responsibilities not mine to bear with no say in the matter. Being forced to give up my own childhood for my own parent's selfish decisions. Then I moved away from my mother's to my father's. Which wasn't even better from 2014-2019 living with him was very terrifying due to his anger issues and violence whenever I didn't do things his way. He had this expectation for me to go to college full time while working full time and expected me to pay for my own college and pay him rent. When I stopped going to school to focus on working, he would verbally and sometimes physically hurt me. I had lost a severe amount of weight due to the stress and decided to move back in with my mother in 2019.

Fast forward 2021 my father died of cancer and my mom is in a custody battle with one of her many baby daddies and looked to me for financial support since she hadn't worked in nearly a decade. I had started a new job around that time but my mental health was drained at that point.

Now in 2024 my mother has decided to bring my elderly and sick grandmother into the household where we don't have a lot of resources and we really aren't equipped to give her proper care. But now the table has turned where she has finally got a new job a month ago and I am not working currently. She decided to dump the task of taking care of a confused, incontinent, elderly grandmother onto. Even though my own mother never had anything good to say about her own mother and I don't have great experiences with my grandma either. But we have to take care of her because "we're family." Gimme a break.

So right now I'm a bit pissed, sad, tired, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions. If you ever want to know why Koji is gone all the time. Here is your answer. Family life bullshit.

But not to worry, I've been working on trying to get myself out of this hole I've seemed to find myself in again. Because I do want to interact with all my new followers and old ones. It's just that I've been recovering from deep wounds.

[xo-cod]

safety net

a/n: angst/fluff with simon :) i haven't done much angst here. but anyway hope you like it. ooc n rushed like usual 🤍 he cries like 1 tear lmfao

being captured with the lieutenant who has a panic attack and not your biggest fan 🤭

you could see the panic brewing in his eyes, years of enduring the worst pain inflicted on a person carved and molded to be picture perfect of a soldier but now you realise he was just as much out of his depth as you were. he was just as much human as you were though the fact seemed to escape your mind more often than not. the chair that held you down didn't give you much leverage to move but his presence was suffocating nonetheless.

the mission had gone terribly wrong, the car had been ambushed as you and him got attacked. outnumbered to fight against them all, the last thing you had remembered was being plunged with some sort of drug to knock you out and waking up tied and bound to the chair. the room was silent, dark around you both. you sighed softly, the ringing in your ear had finally settled the blood dried against your temple and neck cracking everytime you moved. you took a glance to your lieutenant expecting him to be cursing and already trying to rip himself free from the binds.

it was a complete shock to you when you saw him on the other end of the scale instead.

it was subtle. but your eyes caught on, catching every movement. the soft tremble as he tried to readjust his hands that were binded tightly behind his back against the chair, the hard swallow no longer able to hide behind the cover of his mask. they had taken the skull balaclava, you were able to glance at the face of the man who didn't have a preference for you.

you had seen his face in glances but seeing it so bare, to see the scars littered from the wear and tear that he had taken from years of rigorous combat and intensive training now, it all makes your heart throb softly in your chest. he hardly looks like the man who was on your case to become stronger, pushing you at your limits in training. his adam apple bobbing in his throat, muscles taut and tense. movements quick and jerky as if no amount of air could fill up his lungs

for the first time since you met him, he looked like he was recoiling back into himself. the strong stoic unbreakable lieutenant seemed to unravelling at the seams right in front of you and there wasn't a thing you could do to stop it.

"hey" your voice cuts in gentle but firm, bound to your chair but trying to talk to him. he could only offer a soft grunt, cheeks flushed as he tries to hold himself back. this wasn't him, wasn't the man that spent years perfecting his armour just as much as the mask he wore ensuring there was no cracks in his facade. no one could see in, he couldn't let them. after all, he was a trained assassin. a master of stealth. so how could he, of all people, be in the position right now mercy to the people who lay in the other room?

but this wasn't ghost anymore, this was simon. a tired man, exhausted from running all the time. pained by the memories that haunted his head every single day, betrayed by the people he trusted the most. it had all come crashing down at the most inconvenient time and the only other person witnessing it was you. you, the person he couldn't stand.

it made the anger burn that much hotter in his heart. you, he couldn't like you. he didn't dare give himself the chance

"shut your trap, sergeant" he hissed back hands clenched tightly around the handcuffs that forced him to stay still. he could feel his skin crawl, muscles tensing, jaw gritted with every passing moment he couldn't seem to untangle himself from the binds.

you sighed helplessly, the rest of 141 were working quickly and urgently towards your rescue as quick as possible, the tracker that was mandatory to wear during missions had come in useful. giving your coordinates just before it had shattered in the attack.

you contemplated a retort, he had been cold to you when you first joined the sas. kept out of your way when you got injured, said nothing when you helped in missions with the rest of 141. everything you seemed to do to try and have at least an amicable connection went into vain. soap and gaz said to give him time, price could only a sympathetic sigh and a hand to your shoulder but no one would help. and over the days, you learnt to just let it go. you were part of a team but that was were his loyalty ended. outside of the missions and deployments, he had no interest in talking to you.

so perhaps it was a good thing he was struggling beside you right now, maybe it was his karma for being a cold hearted bastard for years. that was the reason that you justified it with but the turn of your head stopped you.

a tear rolled down, he quickly tried to wipe it away with his shoulder cursing softly. though you knew that the floodgates were truly wide open now. it was such a foreign feeling to him, whose life had been dominated by violence and loss. these tears were buried the day he joined the taskforce, how could they rear their heads and show you his weakness, his vulnerability?

you can see the panic in his eyes, the pain at the thought of the looming attack as he tries to compose himself but its of no use. it makes your heart wrench, he was a bastard but he didn't deserve to let the enemies see him in such a private state either.

you're not sure how to comfort him, he had never needed it before and you paused, trying to wrack your head for any type of solution. he didn't seem to do well to respond to anything verbal, his mind was already spinning it would just seem to exacerbate the issue.

the next was physical touch, you hadn't actually seem him embrace anyone into he taskforce. it was always the other initiating the hug unless it was a side pat he was giving.

it was a long shot but you figured it couldn't hurt. the chair was hard to move especially with your arms tied behind it, it seemed to be a 100 times heavier than usual. he barely even hears you, too deep in his own mind to know what you were doing and a small part of you feels sorry for him, in this state you see the confidence and the aloofness stripped away. the only thing that made simon, simon seemed to be disappearing away right before your eyes.

with a last push the chair finally moves and the side of your leg touches his, his head looks down and it gives him something else to concentrate on. his face is still, unreadable and stoic, observing every little detail about you. it makes your breath hitch slightly, he's so close yet so far. yet in his eyes, the turbulent sea churns beneath. the waters ready to drag you from the surface, plunging you in to the darkness that lay just below. you haven't seen brown eyes that look so very expressive like his and for a moment, you wonder entirely if it was a mistake to have touched him like this.

his hands can't touch you, bound by his handcuffs so he settles on gently moving his leg against the side of your thigh. it's a soft movement but you swear you can feel him calm down, muscles relaxing as he continues to bask in your presence no matter what dangers lay ahead. you can barely take a breath out, this was the most he had given you the whole time you had been in the team.

his eyes make connection with yours and for a second you swear they soften, the familiar sparkle in them glinting under the dim lighting flickering in the room. how his head tilts the slightest and for a moment everything seemed perfect. seemed so correct as you leaned in the slightest

but the moment was cut and he pushed his chair back, taking a soft breath in as he focused back on the door waiting. you can feel the wall building back up between you both and with a resigned heart you looked back to the door once more, hoping whatever behind it could end your misery soon as possible.

[beiibeiii]

know its for the better

exgirlfriend!arlecchino x fem!reader

sfw, angst, ooc arle?

art credits : celeyunn on Twitter

you really shouldn't of ran away from home. you were feeling miserable from arlecchino breaking up with you. you had accidentally argued with your mother and ran out the house. the rain harshly fell from above. it was cold and late at night. you were drenched in water and you hadn't brought an umbrella.

it had already been 2 weeks since arlecchino broke up with you. you remember that night so vividly. the way her eyes coldly stared you down. "i'm breaking up with you." she said. your heart shattered just at the thought of it again. she walked off without another word or an explanation. you were in tears, left with more questions than answers as you wondered what you did wrong. you had already heard the rumours of arlecchino playing with everyones hearts. you felt stupid at the fact you thought of yourself as an exception.

you wandered around, shivering as you recalled that heartbreaking memory. you walk and walk.. until, eventually, you walk past the park you had your first date in. the place brought back bitter sweet memories. you feel a wave of misery and sadness in you. you missed her. and so, as the rain starts to get even heavier, so did your heart. you were hugging yourself in hopes of keeping warm. your mind could only wonder to the one question - why she broke up with you.. you wanted to know, but you fear that knowing would hurt even more. until something broke you out of your thoughts.

"y/n?"

your breath hitched at your name being called. you knew that familar voice. you were scared to turn around, you felt like bursting into tears, your chest felt so tight. what do you do? you cant face her, you dont have the heart to-

you felt the rain stop. the loud sounds of pitter pattering over you. an umbrella was being held over you..

"you will catch a cold.. let me walk you home."

you felt her behind you. her body warmth behind you felt so familiar. it felt good. you couldn't help but turn around to look up at her. she didn't look any different.. nor did she any worse or any better. she was still the same.. the expression on her face was calm. just like she normally was. her words had a touch of gentleness lingering around them, just like they normally did. what was the meaning behind this? why was she here..

you feel your lips tremble at the feeling of her eyes peering over you. you couldn't make out what were behind those eyes. was it regret or sadness? or maybe even neither.. you lowered your head, you feel your stomach churn as you finally replied with a nod.

you two walked down the streets quietly. not a word said. it was an uncomfortable.. yet an comfortable silence.. you kept your head lowered, holding back the tears welling up in your eyes.

arlecchino's eyes remained on the road, her footsteps measured as she walked. after a few minutes of quietude, she spoke up, her voice soft yet steady. "your mother was worried sick. she was concerned about where you went."

her gaze drifted off to your downcast one. she was hit by a truck of guilt as her eyebrows furrowed slightly. but quickly put her more 'stoic' front back up again. there was a sliver of warmth in her voice, indicating she genuinely cared.

thats right.. your mother doesnt know you two broke up yet. she must of assumed you ran off to her house.. your lips throat felt so tight.

"you have been in contact with her?.." you said quietly, trying holding back your hoarse voice. not wanting her to think that you wasn't taking the breakup easily.

"she messaged me 15 minutes ago." arlecchino remarked, a hint of concern in her voice. "she was worried about where you had went." arlecchino's gaze flicked towards you, and for a moment, her stoic facade disappeared, replaced by a glint of worry. you couldnt answer her, you didn't know how to.

"your shivering.." she pointed out, her voice gentle.

your lips pushed together as you held back the urge to cry. seeing her only made your heart break more than anything. your footsteps and the loud impact of the rain pelting onto the umbrella could be heard. why was she holding the umbrella over you? she had left without another word.. it made you feel so hopeless.. your expression so bitter as you refused to look or reply to her.

after being rejected of your acknowledgment, arlecchino's gaze softened further, her steps slowing down, almost to a crawl. she felt the wave of guilt wash over her, drowning her out. she reached out with a slender hand, gently cupping your cheek, forcing you to look at her.

with an hitch of your breath, your eyes widened slightly. arlecchino remained eye contact with you. her gaze somber, as if she was trying to read you. her sharp nails were dangerously, yet gently sitting on your cheek, reminding you of the pain. her hand was so warm, and so familiar..

"y/n.." Arlecchino uttered faintly, her voice a mere whisper, barely audible above the rain's pitter-patter. her gaze not daring to break away from yours.

"what is the matter?"

you felt your eyes well up in tears, yet your gaze didnt break from hers either.. her eyes were so beautiful, yet they held so much pain to you. you couldnt hold you tears back. with an blink of an eye, your tears fell down your cheek. you pull your head away from her hand, closing your eyes as you lower it. lifting an arm rub your tears away. why did she have to see you like this..

why did she still utter your name so softly..?

arlecchino's eyes widened slightly at the sight of your tears. she reached out yet again, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, her grip firm but gentle. "y/n," she whispered once more. your name rolling off her tongue so easily. a hint of distress was evident in her voice. "please talk to me. what has made you so distraught?"

arlecchino's face became softer. she had always asked questions she knew the answers to..

"Is it something I did?"

you couldnt face or answer her. you felt like going through the ground and never coming back up. she knows why your crying. your tears fell down your cheeks. small held back sobs could only be heard. your sleeves were wet from your tears and the rain. you didn't know what had gotten into you. her words always touched the deepest parts of your heart.

arlecchino seeing how distraught you were, made her heart shatter. she didn’t force you to talk. she understood she had hurt you. she didn't push you any further, her instinct to let you cry it out kicking in.

after a short moment of silence, she softly pulled you into a hug. the umbrella was long forgotten as it had been casted away on the ground. one arm was wrapped around your waist, the other hand cradling the back of your head, gently pushing your head into her shoulder. she whispered gently, "let it all out."

your eyes widened slightly at her sudden action. arlecchino had broke up with you. why does she still embrace you? shouldnt she of gotten tired or hated you to break up with you? you didnt understand. yet her warmth felt so familar. the warm you were yearning for, for so long..

your hands gripped onto her jacket tightly. you cried and wept into her shoulder. her shoulder caught all your tears. she would rub your waist gently and stroke your wet, yet beautiful hair.

despite the both of you being drenched in water, it was warm. muffled sobs could only be heard from you. you couldn't keep yourself together. the despair and confusion only fuelled your urge to cry more.

arlecchino held you close, the downpour outside only increasing in intensity. Her embrace was warm and reassuring, a tender gesture that defied the bitterness of the night.

"i am sorry." she whispered after a while, her tone soft and remorseful.

"i didn't want to make you cry." arlecchino continued to hold you, her fingers gently stroking your hair, offering silent comfort. her body leaning into you more, you could feel her breath from above on your neck..

"w-why..?" you sob in between sobs. your voice broken and hoarse. to know arlecchino was the reason of your pain, she through her heart, feeling worse than being stabbed 10 times over..

you shook your head desperately as you sobbed. your tears, they just kept running and running. your body was shivering and your breath shaky as you held her tightly.

arlecchino's eyes welled up in compassion, her heart aching at the sight of your anguish. her dangerous, yet gentle fingers continued to stroke your hair, trying to soothe your pain.

"i made a mistake," she finally whispered quietly, a deep regret evident in her tone. her eyes narrowing as she looked down at your sorry state. arlecchino hugged you tightly, offering an unexpected apology.

"i'm sorry for hurting you."

her words were genuine. you felt the sorrow gnaw at your heart, eating you alive. her gaze never wandered off of yours. her embrace still tight as her body shielded you from the rain.

"w-why.. did you go.." you whisper out. your voice is shaky, not holding back the pain in your voice anymore. your cheeks were tearstained. your grip tightening on her jacket as you wept your soul out.

there was a short pause. arlecchino choosing her words carefully. "you deserve someone better than me." she murmured softly, her lips just brushing the shell of your ear. arlecchino continued to hold you, her embrace firm and reassuring. her hand gently running through your hair.

"i am too complicated,” she uttered gently. “too selfish."

you felt your heart drop at her words. how could she think of herself like that? you lifted your head back up at her slightly. your teary eyes meeting hers full of guilt. "that isn't true.." you whispered out.

that was all she had wanted to hear. her chest heaved slightly at the sound of your voice, her heart clenching in remorse. she pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, her hands coming to rest on either side of your head, cradling your cheeks.

"don't weep," she whispered gently, her touch tender and warm. "you shouldn't cry over someone like me." she kept denying.

you had only ever wanted her, no one else. you couldnt handle this, you just wanted everything to go back to how it was before, the love in your heart still so strong for her.

"but.. i love you." you cried out desperately. arlecchino's face broke into a look of despair. she felt the same pain you did, and the sound of your heartbroken voice tore her apart. she took a deep, shaking breath, her body trembling slightly with a mix of emotion.

"i love you too," she confessed, her voice shaking and her grip on your shoulders tightening. "i love you so much. but I cannot be the person you deserve." her eyebrows furrowed, her lips in an thin line..

you knew you had lost her at that point. you couldnt respond to her. she had given up already.. you just sobbed hardly into her shoulder once more. she allowed her shoulder to soak up your tears. the sound of your sobs caused something inside of her to crack. her grip tightened on you, one hand clutching the back of your neck, the other holding the small of your back, pulling you close against her trembling body. her heart pounded in her chest, and was strained with emotion.

"i still love you y/n .. i truly do." Arlecchino whispered in despair, her words trailing off. the rain poured furiously around you two. her words starting to pour out as if she had been holding them back for a lifetime.

"just know its for the better."

[miraimisu]

Sunshine & Ribbon

Rating: T Word count: it’s actually fucking short! You can open it! It’s a drabble! Author’s note: this is just a little drabble I did as practice with bestie @kacchanswife who I owe so many things in life. She somehow liked my angst tropes and it’s just a little practice for short stuff? Seriously it’s ansty and Bakugou may even be a little bit OOC but I’m posting it for ma little bestie ♥ fuck her, really. /screams AAAAAANGST remind me to fatcheck this too pls.

Bakugou stepped into the room with the bunch of roses tight into a vicious grip as reality only dampened him faster and harder the more steps he took closer to the bed, the woman of his dreams starting to become the scene that would chase his nightmares endlessly as he would spend his nights alone– an unfilled void of presence and sweetness hunting his future like a dying light.

When he saw her, her eyes locked with his immediately. Her beautiful eyes were dim, painted in clay and plain ashes that blurred that hero she used to be, a hero that died the very same day she stepped too close to danger. He had tried to save her – emphasis on tried– but to no avail.

He was running out of time. The frail red ribbon of true love was coming undone by the forces of fate and tragedy, her fingers not even trying to keep it at bay as they tried to reach his, trembling as a weak smile sketched a sad facade that would never belong to her. No way that was her. Bakugou grimaced, teeth clenched in effort as tears attempted to fall. 

He was running out of time.

"Bakugou..." she tentatively moved her fingers a bit, and he was by her side immediately. Uraraka tried her best to sit up, but he was quick to lay her again, craddling her cold hand to his forehead in a silent plea. "...'kugou."

"Uraraka, you..." he shook beneath the crumbling shards of his heart, sadness, grief and utter heartbreak pushing his lungs and suffocating him. It was too hard to breathe. "You can't– you were doing just fine. You fucking can't–"

Her fingers caressed his, fingertips grazing his sand locks. "I am running out of time."

"No."

"Bakugou."

"–No."

She smiled tenderly at his stubborness, and it pained him to admit it would be the last time for her to show him such sweet expression. His nose wrinkled under the shade of her hand, under the hospital lights and under heaven looking down at them, tearing up as rain poured outside in a dark night.

"Urara– Ochako." Bakugou dared look at her. Artificial light washed over them and allowed her to bask in the metallic taste of blood, death juice and absence of warmth. The only thing she felt was the warmth of Bakugou's forehead on her hand and her own heart trying to beat as fast as possible for him.

"Ochako, you just can't– not you, of all people." he shook along his words, shoulders heaving with spitful irony and despair. "Please, not you. Somebody take me, but not her." Uraraka frowned at him softly, starting to watch how he lost the light in the darkness of a broken heart. "Please, my little sunshine..."

His hands climbed their way to cup her cold, dry cheeks, clean of tears but her eyes were gleaming in unshed pebbles, so moved– but he was so shattered, pieces of his stoic wall becoming only scattered debris of a broken man, kneeling at the doors of heaven to ask for a last day of sun with her.

"Please, Ochako... don't leave me." he got up to sit by her, his fingers singing her pale skin with possesion and break. Whispers fanned across the maps of her lost eyes, shaking. "Don't let them take you away."

His lips ghosted over hers for two seconds before locking with hers in a lovely embrace, and he started kissing her with urgency before pulling away when he felt her gasp, little nibbles and senseless nothings roaming over her cheeks as he pecked them devotedly. "My only sunshine..."

"Bakugou, please..." her voice was no more than a mere whisper, lips trembling in fear for what he was becoming inside, something dangerously devastating whirling inside of him.

His trembling lips came to shut her mouth, and he pushed her head onto the pillow as he kissed her again, pecks of sadness and desperation trying to fullfill the hollow space she was leaving the more the sparks died down, the more the rain heaved and the more the beeping slowed and stopped. "Don't."

Uraraka tried her best to respond, but he kept pushing to a more comfortable posture to just try to lessen her pain, thinking that perhaps, just maybe, she'd stay with him, he would ask her for marriage, he would be able to someday find the courage to give her the love she deserved. "My days... my light..."

Uraraka limped on the mattress as last spurs of strength left her lungs and heart, blood stalling and weighing her eyelids down. "Bakugou... I'm sorry..."

The eyes that he would have cherished for his life looked at him warmly, fires dying as all words she had tried to say all this time scurried away to the arms of another life, another story. But they reflected love all the same– that's when the dam broke down and Bakugou had to kneel again. Transparent tears full of black death and intentions cascaded down, already feeling his arms empty of love and happiness, the only good thing that had come to him in who knows how long.

He held her hand again, gripping it for dear life as her eyes started closing, footprints of tears mirroring the shivers of her dying heart, bleeding love crying in his eyes as the only warmth he had– the only good they shared, it all came crumbling down the second her eyes never opened again.

"You are... my sunshine..." his shoulders trembled, trying to control the last bit of sanity he had left and trying to gather the bits of a broken heart she had left, the ghost of her smile floating out of the planet and shooting off like a lost, crossing star. "My only sunshine..."

Rain outside fell harder, moon hiding in shame and ignoring the fallout of the broken hero. The lights of the room flickered in regularity, turning its back at him as the world faded to him. "You make me... happy, when skies are gray..."

The machine by his side started to falter, her hand trying to give his a little last squeeze he felt and god, he was hanging on that little hand of hers as a last resort, at the verge of insanity and loss. "You'll never know... how much I fucking love you..."

The line started flattening, her chest falling down to never rise again. And he would never hear her voice or see her smile again, or the peals of laughter and sheer happiness she brought along. So he kneels at the doors of death again to pray one last time. "Please don't take... my sunshine..."

... and the line faltered, her smile parting and the figure of her fading away out at her window, turning and leaving into the dark night as her hair swayed with the incoming storm, bells of her giggles looming over his decaying mind.

And he cried, shaking like he had never done, and sobbed.

"...away."

[fanfictionchild]

Oversight

Avengers x Reader     One shot

Summary: You’ve finally had enough of the neglect and disrespect after all you’ve done for them

Word Count: 2229

Warnings: Angst, crying, OOC?

A/N: Mmmk so this is the first time I’m posting anything on Tumblr and also the first oneshot I’ve ever produced as well as my first angst story... a lot of firsts. Also sorry if this is crappy, I was just really in the mood to write something and I just kinda spit this out on a whim so I’m sorry if it sucks.

        “God damnit!!!” She screams as she pounds on the punching bag taking out an amazing amount of anger on the poor object. She swings and kicks and jabs, the bag starting to swing on the chain holding it to the ceiling. With a last burst of energy she raises her foot and slams it into the bag hard, snapping the chain and sending the bag tumbling off its support to the floor a few feet away from where she was standing. Sweat drips off of her, soaking into her compression shorts and sports bra. Panting hard, she lets out an angry yell and kicks the bag one more time sending it rolling a farther across the floor.

          “Wow…” Steve mutters off to the side, amazed on the amount of strength she had presented to him. At the sound of Steve’s mumbles she whips her head around to glare in his direction.

           “What are you doing here Steven?” (Y/N) speaks quietly but the rage was pouring off her in tidal waves. His full name came rolling off her tongue with such malice, definitely something he wasn’t expecting, sending a shiver down the mighty captain’s spine.

           “I c-came to see if you were okay.” Stevie curses himself for stuttering as he stares into her eyes as her glare darkens.

           “Oh? So now you care? So all of you suddenly care that I won’t deal with your guy’s bullsh*it any longer?” She whispers, stalking towards him. Steve goes to take a step back to distance himself from the danger but falters when his back hits the wall, after all he was leaning against it not long beforehand. As she approaches him his face pales and he doesn’t know what to do, once she was close enough she sends a punch flying in his direction. He flinches away and closes his eyes but feels nothing but definitely hears impact. His eyes snap back open, a shocked expression gracing his features as he glances over at the gargantuan hole that has formed next to his head in the solid wall, her bloody fist settled in the center of it. (Y/N)’s eyes glaze over and the snarl marring her lips dies and forms a straight line. Her emotionless demeanor is truly terrifying, even more so than when she was angry.

           “Back off Steven. I don’t want to see any of your faces right now let alone speak to any of you. I’m leaving, and don’t expect me back for a while. I don’t want any of you trying to find me, calling me or trying to contact me in anyway, got it?” She breaths out looking at him with dead eyes. He slowly nods still trying to slow his heart rate after the previous events, not really hearing what she said. Once again she snarls and takes a step away from him.

           “Goodbye Steven.” She says one last time before striding out the door of the training room and slamming it closed making the door rattle and nearly fall off its hinges. Steve let’s out a shaky breath before pushing himself off the wall to follow after her. As he leaves he catches a sight of her profile in the elevator, angry tears rolling down her cheeks, mixing with the sweat that was there previously. His heart clenches with guilt and regret before tracing her steps to the elevator planning on following her to try to apologize. 

          Waiting for the elevator to return he asks F.R.I.D.A.Y., “F.R.I.D.A.Y., is (Y/N) heading to her floor?” 

         “Yes, Mr. Rogers, she is. But she has blocked all access to her floor, I’m sorry sir.” The slightly robotic voice answers. At this new information, Steve’s knees nearly buckle under him.

         “No…” Steve whispers before practically slamming the elevator button trying to open it faster. The door doesn’t open for a few more seconds, wasting valuable time needed to get to the others or more specifically Tony so he could lock down the building, preventing (Y/N) from leaving. Finally the door opens and he dashes in, slamming the buttons again. While in the small enclosed room Steve’s mind keeps flashing back to the images of (Y/N)’s hurt, angry, and stoic facial expressions. The guilt grows in the blond’s heart as he realizes what a complete a**hole he had been to the stunning, kind girl. It hadn’t been only him though, it had been the whole Avenger’s team that had neglected her the past few months. 

          After the war that had happened between them, everyone’s lives on the compound drastically changed. Everyone became less focused on the team as a whole and became more secluded and distant. Hatred was shared between everyone, hating each other for all of their conflicting views.The team quickly grew apart but she, (Y/N), disregarded everyone’s hatred and selfishness and snapped everyone out of their hostile mind sets. She had always been there to bring them back together again, always listening to everyone’s worries and concerns. Being a shoulder to cry on, waking a team member from a brutal nightmare, doing everyone’s chores, always trying to keep us as a family instead of us branching out by ourselves without any support from the others. Slowly but surely the hatred dissipated between them and the Avengers grew close once again, except for (Y/N). 

        She was left behind, left doing the chores. She still talked to everyone, the people she previously comforted but only when they thought it was convenient. No one tried to involve her back into the group, too ashamed of the things that she helped them through. So no one noticed when her health started failing or when she started to wake up screaming from her own nightmares or sobbed into her pillows due to how lonely she had actually become. And even through all this (Y/N) kept up her wall of fake happiness, still acting as practically everyone’s slave. And then finally today, she snapped. 

         The team was talking in the common room laughing and having a good time when she walked in. At first her entrance wasn’t noticed due to her now much lighter frame (caused by her unnoticed sickness) and her bare feet barely making any noise on the cold floor, but as soon as she was noticed the voices died down to eventually nothing. When (Y/N) noticed how silent the team had become, she looked up from the laundry basket in her arms towards the couches where they were all seated. She had looked into Tony’s eyes and flashed a nearly dead smile, still trying to desperately preserve her mask but when Tony directed his gaze down to the floor, away from hers, her smile vanished. (Y/N)’s distraught eyes flew around the room looking for something, anything that would keep her from breaking. When no one met her gaze, her facade crumbled and all the contempt, rage and sadness came flooding out of her in screams and sobs of animosity. It had caught every member of the team off guard, the happy, kind, and genuine woman was gone and in her place was a broken and lonely girl. But by the time any of them realized what she had become it was way too late. 

           When Nat stood up to try to calm the enraged girl down, she practically screeched at her to “Keep the f*ck away from me!” quickly stopping even the Black Widow  in her tracks. At that point (Y/N) was seething, actually that doesn’t even begin to cover the bitterness she felt. With a muttered “Stay away from me,” she walked out of the common room to the elevator to go to her room, quickly getting changed into your training gear to head to the training room which led Steve and her to now.  The moment where the elevator couldn’t move any slower.

          When the elevator door opened, Steve sprinted out like a bat out of hell toward the common room, hoping to find the team still there. As he rounds the corner of the hall, he sees the team all still sitting on the couches, all contemplating how they could of done such a thing to their friend, their teammate, their family. A guilty silence had settled over the room when (Y/N) had left and it hadn’t been interrupted even when Steve had left to go find her but when he came back, he shattered it.

         “Stark!!! Lock the building down now! Don’t let anyone leave!” Steve yells. The others jump at the disturbance but Stark quickly answers although hesitantly.

         “Cap… why? What’s going o-”“There’s no time Tony! (Y/N) plans on leaving and not coming back! Now move!” That one sentence seems to kick start everyone as the all launch themselves off the couches to help. 

         “F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Turn off all the elevators and lock all the doors to the outside, we are on lock down till we get (Y/N) to stay, forcefully or not!” “Okay sir.” With that, alarms start going off throughout the Avenger’s Tower, screeching something about a lock down. The team can hear the elevators shutting down and here the panic which is quickly calmed down after Tony calls reception to tell them what is happening. And then the alarms turn off, leaving the whole building in a strange silence. A few minutes pass before the team visibly relaxes  and they all decide to try and go see (Y/N) and try to get her to stay, at that point they would all have been willing to beg at her feet to keep her there. Steve relaxes slightly as well but he still can’t help but feel slightly off, like something bad is still going to happen. As all the team walks to the stair well (since the elevators are off), the alarms start blaring again all of a sudden, only this time about the lock down still being in place. The team collectively tenses again but only Tony truly knows what’s happening.

          “NO!” He screams quickly calling for all security to look for (Y/N) but stops suddenly eyes filling with unshed tears as he listens to the other side of the line. When the team hears his command their eyes widen.

         Steve practically explodes,” Tony! What is happening?!” Tony hangs up his call before slowly sinking to his knees, putting his head in his hands.

        “There was a breakout of the building. The garage door was smashed down by a car more specifically, my car so (Y/N) could escape with hers.” He answers quietly, tears trailing down his cheeks. And with that one statement the whole team breaks down, Nat let’s out an extremely uncharacteristic sob and she clutches at her heart while sinking to the floor with Tony. Bruce just stands there in shock, eyes filled with unshed tears and Clint let’s out a heartbroken cry before punching the wall repeatedly before simply leaning up against it, starting to cry as well for his lost friend. Steve stands there, watching his team crumble under the loss of (Y/N), the underestimated, neglected, broken girl that saved them and ruined them. The regret and pain was suffocating him and he had to get away, had to go make sure (Y/N) wasn’t still in her room and just playing a terrible prank on them for hurting her. Steve slowly walks down the stairs towards (Y/N)’s floor in a haze. Not completely believing what was happening when he arrived at her room, the door is hanging open practically taunting him. He gently pushes open the door and the sight knocks the air out of his lungs and he collapses.

         The room is practically spotless, closet cleared, dressers empty, bed made. There is no trace that she had ever been there. There’s no way she packed all of her things up that quickly, there was no way!  He looks around the room for anything that might make this blow feel less like a bullet to the heart. And then he spots it, a small folded piece of paper sitting on the dresser. He drags himself off the floor not knowing how he was able to stay standing, and slowly steps toward the note. When he reaches it he doesn’t want to open it, it would only make her leaving that much more real. He gently lifts the note from its perch before opening it. The sight inside shatters him, it’s a picture of the team all smiling and having fun during a movie night except the right side is ripped off, the part where (Y/N) was sitting in the photo. Under the picture is a letter stating that she was planning on getting kicked out soon enough (the reason she was so quickly packed up) but this happened sooner, which once again breaks his heart knowing that they made her feel alienated enough that she thought she would be kicked out. She also states that she won’t be back till she is healed enough to deal with them again which has a chance of never happening. But the last two lines spark a small fragment of hope in Steve. 

          “Please do not beat yourselves up to much for this, what you did was wrong, yes, but you need to learn and grow from it, not wallow in your guilt. Even with how you all treated me, I still love you guys and will miss all of you, I will try to come back as soon as possible.     

                                                          Love, 

                                                                (Y/N)”

[vxmpirehunterd]

{Welp I just had my 29th b-day yesterday on Aug 16th. I watched the new alien movie and hung out with my family. Though, I feel kind of exhausted since I was out and about during my celebration week.

[vxmpirehunterd]

{In case y'all ever wanna find me I'm sometimes on discord. grimmonarch is the name.}

[vxmpirehunterd]

The problem with D is that he loves too much. Every single person he's met on his journey, he loves: Doris, Dan, Leila, Nan...he loved all of them, from the moment he met them. D has so much love for humanity, but that's why he has to be cold. If he allowed himself to love them all at once, it would only hurt him. He would settle somewhere and never send the Nobility cowering, or the overwhelming love would destroy D when he lost someone he loved. That's why.

{I very much agree with ALL of this. It sums up his inner turmoil so beautifully and what I try to portray with some of his interactions on this blog. When it comes to human companions D is in a bit of a bind, on one hand he is grateful for the companionship. The warmth. A sense of belonging when he meets certain people willing to befriend him despite his lineage. But he is aware of their mortality and keeps them at arm's length, he knows they would be better off without him in their lives.

D's life being a bounty hunter is a tragic and lonely one. He has a reputation of being capable of standing up against the tyranny of the nobility. And if anyone of his enemies catches wind of him being particularly close to someone--it could spell disaster for D. They'd immediately use his loved ones against him--and that would anguish D. Causing him to further distance himself from everyone and everything.

When it comes to rping with muses that are fellow immortals/supernatural creatures D will be a bit more open with them. Since they will be able to handle themselves so he doesn't have to worry himself sick over their safety. Also, fellow supernatural creatures with an extensive lifespan can calm D's loneliness. I keep this ALL in mind with shipping too. Shipping D with mortal muses will always have a bit of tragedy in the mix because he KNOWS it won't last. And maybe down the line--he might self-sabotage.}

[vxmpirehunterd]

{I can’t believe this has to be said but I guess this was a long time coming. But please don’t harass the people I interact with. It’s one thing to harass and spam me cause IDGAF. But please don’t spam and harass those who I rp with. I’m REALLY REALLY trying to enjoy rping on this blog again, and for years I’ve dealt with obsessive anonymous and a few rpers that stalk this blog that seem to seriously desire my attention to themselves.}

[vxmpirehunterd]

Happy Munday

I’m slowly collecting myself mentally and will soon be able to reply to drafts and inbox memes. Sorry for the long wait. 

[vxmpirehunterd]

  {Hey everyone. Sorry for the abrupt silence and absence. Over the last few weeks me and my family have been moving and getting settled into our new place. Buying new furniture and appliances, and I had recently quit a job that had been very draining on me. So over the last couple of days I’ve just been trying to regain some energy to RP and this month is my father’s Birthday month. This will be the first B-day I’m celebrating it without him due to him Passing away last September, so I’m just dealing with some stuff. }

[vxmpirehunterd]

  {Holy shit I’m so sorry guys I swear I’m not dead! I’m just spiraling down in depression. Lots and lots of depression.}

[vxmpirehunterd]

 {So a little update about what’s going on with my life right now. So recently I’ve been having a lot of pain in my knees lately and I went to the doctor to get them checked out, x-rays- MRI’s the whole nine! And the test results they gave me were that I had a moderate case of exostosis, a strained ligament-- as well as a benign tumor in my knee (non-life threatening thank god!) But yeah that’s what I’ve been up to all while working night shift at my job frequently. Sorry I haven’t been around as much as I’d like and replied to any rps--just been really bummed out and stressed the fuck out.}

[vxmpirehunterd]

YOURE AWESOME

 {Thanks lovely! You’re super awesome yourself!}

[vxmpirehunterd]

Midweek reminder that you are awesome and can do anything. Don't feel rushed to match another's pace. Just follow the path of life at your own speed. Keep being super nice and wonderful.

 {THANKS BRO! You have no idea how much I needed this like really! I’ve been so down in the dumps lately, fearful that I’m not writing as much as I should. -hugs- You’re always there for me. I love you.}

[vxmpirehunterd]

 {I spy with my little eye A Twin D blog. At long last, my muse can finally have fun shenanigans with his twin!}