#i feel so very hopeless | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xoshepard · 2 years ago

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ohhhhh… the pain is unending

#tirah talks #alas this trip home did not cure me :(#i feel so very hopeless #what if i don’t get into grad school #what if i can’t afford housing #what if i can’t manage teaching and being a student and i flunk out #what if i get through and become a teacher full time and still don’t enjoy it enough to have a will to live #that’s the scariest one tbh #what if i go down a path to what i think is a job that i can be satisfied doing every day #spend time and money and energy and whatever other resources i have #only to find out that i still hate all my life Yet Again after overhauling everything #regardless of this i have no choice but to push forward #but i’m in a terrible place mentally and it’s making me feel like hope is useless

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claitea · 2 months ago

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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them

#pokemon #volo #pokemon volo #pokemon jacq #n harmonia #pokemon rei #trainer rei #clai's art #trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason #in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF #but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless #jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible #n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it #but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end #isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways #satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally #or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter #volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk

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ifisawyoueverydayforeverwill · 1 year ago

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Y'ALL NEED TO SEE THIS PANEL

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slimynematode · 2 months ago

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been a fan of golden kamuy lately :3

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afsosville · 2 months ago

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Ever After High, but make it a PIDW AU.

Imagine how fucked up it would be if Shen Jiu is up there doing the book signing ceremony that seals his destiny of becoming the next 'Shen Qingqiu', and the mirrors display him getting thrown away by his martial siblings at the trial, and his limbs being torn off and other despicable tortures, and being brought down so low that your humanity is stripped away from you, all for an audience to see. And they cheer. The crowd is ecstatic, perhaps even more so than when his father, Shen Qingqiu, was put on trial.

#and sj is barely 15 when this happens #and every goddamn person is reveling in watching this child get tortured #and he's done ntg to warrent this yet bc he HASNT signed the stupid destiny book and he DOESNT want to be the scum villian #dont ask me how the logic of this au works #i dont fucking know #its just that some of the eah characters DO have fucked up stories #and the grimm brother stories were dark as hell #so im like what if pidw???? what if shen jiu??? shen jiu and pain???? yes.#shen jiu #svsss #mxtx svsss #original shen qingqiu #og shen qingqiu #scumbag self saving system #svsss crossover #scum villain #ever after high au #the scum villain's self saving system #scum villain self saving system #and the only person that's NOT advocating for his death is lbg's SON!! the very person that's supposed to kill him!#he (lbm) also happens to be smn who rllyyyy hates his dad and is not signing no book of destiny either #when he sees the same hopelessness that he feels in sj's eyes #he decides at that moment that he's going to be sj's no. 1 defender everything else be damned #so when sj announces that he's not signing #lbm gets up on the stage and makes it clear that he won't either #and they kith #bingjiu #pidw #proud immortal demon way

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clangen · 8 days ago

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As a queer american, just wanted to post for my siblings out there who are scared and anxious tonight. Take breaks from political talk if you need and check in on the results when the count is over. Regardless of how the election goes, we will stand strong. They won't silence us. 💪

#not sprites #politics #very different from the content i post but i felt like this was important #i was too young to vote when trump was elected and the hateful rhetoric i was surrounded with made me feel so unsafe #i thought the world was over for me but it wasn't and i don't want young folk feeling hopeless like i did #there are so many people fighting for us out there when we can't fight for ourselves #you aren't alone

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evelynpr · 4 months ago

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My favorite tododeku is actually one-sided love and devotion from Shoto, because the thought of Shoto either gradually or suddenly realizing just how much he owes this boy his life and that he'd give the world to him- then recognizing he's just another friend and person he saved is like...so compelling to me.

He's among your closest friends. You also scared the shit out of him around first knowing each other. Soon after that he also changed your life forever for the better. You've saved your friends and others together. Your family is also fond of him.

When he came back after running away, you earnestly made sure he was okay- asking if he'd prefer to rest and wrapping him in warmth. He's so much, he's so beautiful, he's so kind and strong, and he's taught you to be so much kinder and stronger too...but you're not the only one. Far from it. You're not special, Shoto, you're just a friend.

#hopeless doomed pining Shoto is my fav shoto #sorry tddk fans i do think the ship is very cute #but to Me the real substance is the fact that #you just cant deny that shoto cares abt him so so much #and maybe u know. he wants to earnestly kiss him too and have deku call him his #but deku has saved and inspired countless people. shoto didn't change deku's life nearly as drastically #nor has he impacted deku's life nearly as grandly #and so this is just smth Todoroki has to live with...#up to you if u want deku to return his feelings #either are honestly very interesting #but yeah these r my tddk thoughts #ily shoto. now suffer in unrequited love like meeee hahahaha...#evelynpr bnha #shoto todoroki #izuku midoriya #tododeku #tddk

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spaghett-onaplate · 5 months ago

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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marzipanandminutiae · 4 months ago

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okay I'm feeling almost totally better and have been fever-free for 24 hours. also I am sick to my back teeth with isolating. if this goddamn test isn't negative tomorrow I'm going to scream into a pillow on the balcony

and if I have to miss Brimfield, something inanimate is going to get punched

especially if I test negative in time to get my stupid fucking second gum graft surgery, which is going to suck especially recovering in 90-degree heat with no A/C for three days when I've already been isolating in this room for four so far, but not to have fun with my friends as a hurrah beforehand

#personal #covid #I FEEL BETTER!#I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO KILL SOME POOR GRANDMA #SO WHY DO I STILL HAVE THE KILL SOME POOR GRANDMA JUICE IN MY MUCOUS MEMBRANES?!#this sounds flippant but I'm actually feeling very frustrated and hopeless #did I mention I have summer SAD?

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aroaessidhe · 12 days ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

The Brightness Between Us

twisty YA sci-fi, sequel to The Darkness Outside Us

17 years later, Ambrose and Kodiak are raising their two surviving children on an isolated planet

their rebellious daughter wants to explore further, but after making a small discovery she learns there’s more about their circumstances than she knew, while her reserved older brother is going through some strange experiences of his own

with a dual narrative of Ambrose and Kodiak on earth before they leaving to space, finding out the truth about the titan mission, and learning more about the resistance in a dying world on the brink of war

#The Brightness Between Us #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #oh damn! yeah this lives up to book 1.#also the blurb for this spoils the first book big time #very fast paced and compelling and tragic (but hopeful). the kids are such interesting characters #and it was really cool to see a little more of earth before everything; and the way the stories are intertwined....#it’s very much about being in hopeless circumstances and doing what you can anyway #both storylines are quite fast paced and I feel like I wanted a bit more detail on some things?#But also going into more depth about…anything would get so depressing (if not start to fall apart narratively)#the way it’s like brightness instead of darkness (in the title) is more hopeful :) and then the actual title drop moments are like. oh.#also….sheep my beloved…#mlm books

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tpup · 4 months ago

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joining the ranks of homeless transsexual slut puppies

#woof woof #iiii so very unfortunately need to find actual legal advice because I think I have a case against my ex for illegal eviction #and want to know what I'm entitled to bc it might be thousands of dollars???? for making me fuckin homeless when we have a lease #either way I don't have a home after july. and i already was crashing w friends so much may & june i feel I've overworn my welcome #just gonna go to a shelter at this point bc wth else do I do. I'll see if I can keep some clothes & like my laptop at friends places #and I'll just keep trying to find ways to make money (have been trying and failing for years. feels hopeless but there r no other options)

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iliothermia · 2 years ago

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It’s heartbreaking as a disabled artist to be reliant on always needing to make work and always needing to sell it. Always needing to sell everything you make to get by because there’s not other options for you. Not being able to plan bigger projects, not being able to hold onto anything. Not being able to take the time to work on things without feeling the timer ticking down because you need to finish something new to sell, so you don’t get the sleep you need.. And then when you do invest in future things you think are cool.. You will never be able to keep them. You can’t afford your own work, and owning art’s not a necessity and everyone around you is struggling, understandably.. most of them can’t either��

#negative #one of those nights i legit just. think about giving up and going back on disability #its so hard. because both disability and continuing to try have steep negatives.#i just dont know how im supposed to ever survive when i get a bit older #def going to be one of those days i have a headache all day after i wake up #i deeply apologize for being negative.. i know there's other people in my shoes who have all the same feelings #and some dont have the option of disability assistance #it just feels so hopeless and idk how anyone does it #disability #i dont like talking abt being disabled nowadays. but sometimes the specific trapped feelings are overwhelming #anyway thank you to everyone who supports my work how they can #im still very lucky #i just wish it wasnt always a struggle. for everyone else too

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sylkana · 7 days ago

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aaaannndd now people from other countries are diminishing how we may be feeling today. cool

#thanks for saying my fears and emotions are worthless #you know you can care about multiple things right??#i know the us is fucked ok i get it but surprisingly it can hurt when you see people #say that you should just be blown off the map because of things politicians do #so many of us are trying... sorry. this is dumb. im just feeling very hopeless and useless today lol #not to make everything about me or whatever of course but.... ok im done #/ negative #kenzie.txt

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago

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I think as we grow up, we have to be really conscious of romanticizing the world we grew up in in order to scorn how the next generations are growing up.

Nostalgia isn't inherently bad, but especially in political spaces, be very wary of this idea that there is an Ideal Past we must Harken Back To.

It sucks to feel left behind, but such is the human condition. It isn't bad to feel nostalgic, but that doesn't mean that these new generations are inherently "lost" and "need to be saved (by you)", and I think that is very important to remember and try to be conscious of.

#politics #'the world you grew up in no longer exists' frankly... GOOD!#the world i personally grew up in was scary and lonely and traumatizing. no kid today should STILL be growing up like that #the whole 'nostalgia as a poltical means' is rooted in this idea that...#1) we all grew up in a hegemony 2) we all turned out the same 3) the way we grew up had more privileges afforded to us #and i personally like nostalgia! i like watching videocamera videos from 2005 and looking up super specific shit #but nostalgia does not a good world make #INSERT UMBERTO ECO'S FOURTEEN POINTS ON FASCISM #(though i don't always think nostalgia can lead to this in a political sense there is a fine line)#be very mindful of what motivates nostalgiaposting #is it because people miss childhood and how 'simple' it felt? or is there a different reason that motivates this type of posting?#are you romanticizing childhood to the point you are not remembering your childhood /at all/ but the *idea* of it?#and honestly it is SO jarring when my peers are nostalgic because it's like... we aren't even that old!!#it comes across like... the world is hard and it's getting harder and so we cannot chnage and must wistfully think of the past...#...and to me it comes across as almost... doomerist in how end-stage feelings of nostalgia and hopelessness seen #i feel compassion for the impulse to feel like your old life is over and you need to grieve it...#...but certainly that isn't the younger generations fault? especially because WE are now the ones rasing them and we still yet live #(even at our completely decrepit age of not even close to a mid-life crisis (sarcasm and lighthearted))

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seraphiism · 7 days ago

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hello. long time no see. i love you all ( except if you voted for trump ). i am here for you and i see you and i am supporting you. take a step back, stay off social media if you need to. create something with your hands. doesn't matter if it's not good, doesn't matter if it's shitty, it's fine because it's yours and proof of your existence. you are here and you are breathing and you matter. you always will. stay safe, you are loved. you have to live.

#i was up at 3am crying . then felt hopeless. still do. but we have to keep going and fighting. i don't know how. but we will #i don't know what im saying tbh can't think very well rn. but im going to live and oh im gnna be so fucking annoying abt it #i feel silly posting this but !#.: kay talks

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mars-ipan · 9 days ago

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i think i’m one ‘o them relationship anarchy enjoyers

#marzi speaks #been thinking abt how much less stressful being social has gotten #since i’ve decided to stop giving a shit abt romance and sort of like. accepted i’m arospec #n don’t get me wrong i’m still a hopeless romantic or whatever. but i don’t Need to date someone #and any time i get the opportunity i just get uncomfortable #it’s not the commitment i’m afraid of— i’m very ride or die #i just hate labeling shit like that. if i care for you deeply do i need to identify whether that love is romantic #can i not just love you #idk. shit got easier when i coukd just tell my friends i adored them without worrying abt being misinterpreted #i’m not romance-averse or anything. i’d say i’m romance-favorable #like if someone i really care about says they want to start doing couple things with me. sure 👍#but i don’t like the idea of calling something an explicitly romantic relationship #i’d rather it just be. oh yeah that’s so-and-so we’re close. we’re tight #like i feel like putting a word on a relationship restricts what it’s allowed to look like to a specific standard #and i HATE restrictive standards they drive me nuts !!!#so much less overthinking when it’s just like. ‘ah yes i love xyz person.’ does it matter what kind of love it is. it’s strong either way

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