#i feel my stomach eating itself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hellishqueer · 3 months ago

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feeling miserable

#txt #everything else aside my back and stomach are killing me #i feel my stomach eating itself #i wish i had real food #ive had *some* snacks #but my ive only had a single meal per day #and that 'meal' consists of a tin of whatever i can find #cw disordered eating #its not intentional its just what im forced to do with the hurricane aftermath atm lol

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albonoooo · 5 months ago

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of course on the one day i absolutely cannot be late (got my diagnosis interview that i am terrified of) EVERY SINGLE BUS IS LATE AND I MISS ALL MY TRAINS BECAUSE OF THAT. i will light myself on fire in the [redacted city] municipal utilities headquarters.

#my stomach is eating itself and i feel like i might fall over any second (i'm sat) i'm so fucking nervous #why does everybody have to be so fucking late today of all days #i'm gonna have a public meltdown jfc

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outlying-hyppocrate · 5 months ago

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well. did you fucking miss me.

#random thoughts #apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it #i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful #which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain #i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough #and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary #fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW #I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT #I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW #(<- tags canceled for now)

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watermelinoe · 2 months ago

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ooooh arm starting to look bruised now

#but i DID shower. awkwardly #and i did finish my puzzle 👍#something is still weird w my stomach but 🍀 it will resolve itself or kill me soon #idc as long as i keep nausea at bay #i just feel like. light headed and weird. and i've been eating normally and drinking herbal tea #idk. ''feeling weird and floaty'' isn't a symptom of anything i don't think #i have relatives coming to visit this weekend so i better be normal by then

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lesbianlenas · 3 months ago

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uh oh. the post egg torture just hit…..

#michelle speaks #it’s like. ok here’s what it is. i’m not nauseous but it’s like my throat wants to throw up 😭#like there is discomfort in my throat like it wants to throw up. but my stomach itself feels fine. thats what eggs do to me 😭#no matter if the eggs taste good my body still hates them. ok 😔#also it’s not an allergy or intolerance bc i can eat things w egg in them & it’s fine #it’s exclusively just when i am eating an egg that’s not cooked into smth 😩#like i can legit eat carbonara which is an egg sauce & not be bothered. so what is it 😭

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xvalstarinex · 8 months ago

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Dear mutuals,

Please know that if you tell me a secret, I will take it to the grave. But if I have to lie for you, I simply won't, because the guilt will torment me forever.

Sincerely, me

#totally not refering to recent events #my stomach is eating itself #i feel so bad #please forgive me

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cappurrccino · 5 months ago

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why can't either clerics or star trek medicine be real so I can just have a spell cast on me or have someone give me a very accurate and detailed scan and a quick lil' hypospray and cure all my ails and send me on my way

#//juri speaks #my body feels like it is Falling Apart and i hate going to the dr with such vague symptoms #bc there are either no answers or it's ''well lets try a bunch of nsaids again''#and then i get no answers and a stomach trying to eat itself and maybe a panic attack if im (un)lucky #and like. on the one hand i would like to have *something* get A Name so we can figure out how to fix it #but on the other hand i am so so scared that if something gets A Name it will be the worst thing possible #and Then what am i going to do #(i catastrophize about this daily which probably does not help my overall health)#anyway. i am going to bed.#i might also delete this in like 2 seconds bc i feel stupid about it

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cherry-bomb-ships · 5 months ago

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I remembered that the screening of that one Jellystone crossover special happened at Comic Con yesterday right as I was going to bed and I got myself so excited that I had trouble falling asleep 💀💀💀

#I WAS LITERALLY THE SQUIDWARD MEME WHERE HE SHOOTS AWAKE HRNEJSHF #like i need i NEEEEED to know abt it. i know mojo's in it but for how long. does he have lines does he actually do things #most importantly. is he finally more like his og version that the shit reboot 😭😭😭😭#i will literally be the 'its been 3000 years' meme if he's well written fUCK MAN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #ok have to go get food i can feel my stomach eating itself. b ye ill look at twitter later 👁w👁#ruby rambles #💜: loving you's a felony

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saturnsfather · 7 months ago

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its nothing a couple ibuprofen and a joint and three energy drinks and a 50 mg edible and two hours straight of head and a drinking binge and more weed and a broken arm and getting the shit beat out of me and some opiates and getting my back blown out and another joint and a bullet to the back of the head wont fix .

#my fucking stomach hurts and i cant tell if its 1) eating badly 2) eating At All and my body being angry about it or #3) Shark Week.#and if its the latter i might full on [REDACTED] because ive been back on t for more than a month now #and my body should have Gotten The Fucking Message #every time it feels like things are kind of okay Another Fucking Event Happens and im just so tired and anxious about money #And I Still Have To Call My Insurance And Set Up A Time To Take The Car In To Get Fixed.#And Pay For That. And The Rental I’ll Need In The Interim. And I Have To Pay For The Insurance Itself. And Groceries. And Plane Tickets. And #listen someone beating the fuck out of me probably wont solve anything. arguably it would probably make things worse because hospital bills.#but it might get me out of work ! so i still think we should try it #taking applications

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pallases · 1 year ago

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AUDITIONS!!!!

#in one hour…#personal #the music chronicles #i feel. so deeply unwell rn and it is the most irrational thing 😭 there’s nothing at stake here it’s not like i have anything to lose seein #as i have not been involved in theatre here before and also i don’t know anyone who’s auditioning (i think) and i also haven’t gotten my #hopes up bc of how unlikely it is that i’ll get in. and yet i am starving and do not want to get anything to eat bc my stomach is doing #somersaults and twisting itself into knots rn it’s so bad #and this isn’t even the production i want to be in more!!#i don’t think it’s even bc it’s an audition is the thing. like if this were just some random club i were joining i would feel exactly the #same #<- speaking from experience of my first year when i tried to join clubs and promptly chickened out to the point of not being able to #bring myself to even attempt joining anything my sophomore year. we are Not doing that this time around ❌#also im a little confused bc i think i might be auditioning for some random other play too but im not sure 😭 idk whqts going on

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toadsartblog · 1 year ago

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Made a Dave when sleep deprived for good tidings

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dullahandyke · 2 years ago

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Will never get people who make fun of picky eaters. Literally not your problem

#my mental health is routinely negatively impacted by my shithole diet and it blows!#its so fucking disheartening to feel your stomach eat itself but have no appetite #because you know if you opened the fridge it would be overflowing with food but you couldnt eat any of it #because youve already eaten the 4 boxes of popcorn chicken in the house #so now you have to try and cajole yourself into eating Anything #these days i dont have an appetite i dont have cravings for food bcos i know we wont have it in the house #one of these days im going to eat chips one too many times in a 3 day span and ill snap and kill someone #but anyway lol #foodposting #ask to tag

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neuroticboyfriend · 2 years ago

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i need to not take the barb today. i need to quit while i'm ahead. if i stop when i run out of pills, it's going to be 100x worse. this is a list of things i half believe, but i gotta try. there is no antidote for an overdose. i can't risk it. plus it's already destroying my digestive system and memory =/

#just throw away the pills #no i need them #my poor stomach feels like its eating itself #i think something and the thought is just fuckin gone #this is literally only on 4-5 days of use #i see why articles said u can get addicted in 2 weeks now #augh #julian rants #vent #substance use #drugs tw

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friesian · 2 years ago

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i swear to god whoever designed the human body. [holding a fucking hammer, shaking with rage.] i just wanna talk man. c'mon. just a discussion.

#long story short. tmi warning ahead.#i started my period yesterday. which is agony of in itself. and my PMDD has been kicking my ass.#so last night i realize i didnt eat bc i was feeling like shit until 11:30 pm pretty much #i ate. and now my STOMACH is acidic as hell. bc i ate past 10. always does it to me.#but im also cramping. and im too acidic to lay down. and im so sleepy and tired.#i slept maybe an hour and then woke up bc it was so bad it was making me nausated. AND my cramps were so violent.#anyways this is my cry for fucking help!!! get me out of this body!!!#ly talks

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sunrayretriever · 1 year ago

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sighs because social worker said the food stamps would be in our account "Very Soon" but didn't give us a timeframe so

we were gonna go to the store but now we can't. and now we don't know what to do for dinner cuz everyone's broke. our fucking fridge and freezer is empty we don't have bread we don't have milk we don't have meat or pasta or anything

#i feel so sick from being hungry i feel like my stomachs gonna eat itself

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malachitezmeyka · 1 year ago

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The worst part of this all is that I’m going through it while I’m still on my period

#actively bleeding. exhausted. needing much more food than normal to make up for what I’m losing #and it’s exactly in this moment that my body decided it was going to starve itself #not let me get up no matter how much I try to convince myself I need to eat #make me feel sick at the mere mention of eating anything #refuse to give me normal hunger responses so I forget until I’m too tired to rectify the situation #and my mind is right there with it #yelling at me in my own voice. I’d understand if it was mom’s or dad’s or grandma’s but it’s not. I was always my own worst enemy #see. a part of me relishes in what’s happening #I love feeling how my stomach is just the tiniest bit flatter when I haven’t eaten in a while #I know I shouldn’t think that. it’s not healthy. starving yourself is not the way to lose weight #there is no reliable way to lose weight. diet culture is a lie and a plague #of course I know all that #but if my own voice in my head is telling me that maybe if I keep going I’ll finally become thin and pretty like I always wanted to be #how can I not listen to it?#……#I hate this #ever since I was little I never felt like I was in control of myself #it was always like I was a spectator watching a cut scene in a video game #my body and mind are two seperate beings that are very keen on ruining our life #and I’m neither of them #I’m some secret third thing who can’t control them #I don’t know how to explain it #maybe I’m not making any sense and am actually just delusional. trying to explain my own self destructive behaviours #by pretending I have nothing to do with them #and what’s the point of it all anyway? I’m still not going to go eat #even thinking about it is making me nauseous #but not eating makes it worse and robs me of the ability to sleep and of all energy to do things I might enjoy #it’s an awful. vicious cycle. one I don’t know how to break when every fiver of my being is vehemently against any attempts at fixing it #*fiber. whatever #I want to eat. my mind and body don’t

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