#i feel like this reply is not very coherent but i agree with most of what you say anon!

[edenprime]

if u haven't read it a lot of liara's more action-oriented shift was told in the comics. the shadow broker DLC didn't quite capture how much effort she went thru to secure shep's body and how big feron's role. i personally welcome the change and while i like archeologist liara i think her ME1 characterization is so superficial. she's mostly just a fan girl. the shift is abrupt but it's nice that in ME2 she has her own thing going on outside shepard cos i believe the writers wrote her as the canon love interest in mind so her character often suffers from the fangirl disease. i think a lot of people in the fandom dislike how the game shove her to us so much. which is funny since another famous shepard ship is garrus, who's equally as pushed as liara and is just as much of a shep fan. it's just that he's a guy so he doesn't suffer sexist hate.

I haven't read/seen anything outside the games, no! I've been thinking of getting into that, but first I'd like to sort out all of my feelings wrt the main event - the games. I feel like if I got into the "peripheric" media, it could maybe influence how I view the games and i want to analyze those by themselves (i'm thinking i'll finish this playthrough + another one in which i might or might not play as mshep) and then see about everything else. Thank you for the rec, though! I knew there was extra stuff about tali and garrus but this is the first i'm hearing about liara <3

And well... let's be real, most of the squad is part of the Shepard fan club, even those that can't be romanced, like Grunt and Wrex. The fact that Shepard gets a breeding request in Tuchanka after completing grunt's loyalty mission is like the most Mary Sue thing ever (and I don't necessarily mean this in a bad way). The asari, sex symbols of the galaxy, are throwing themselves at them left and right (Liara, Shiala, arguably Sha'ira, Morinth...). Shepard is the main character, everyone wants a piece of them. It's one of the entertaining parts of the games (or at least I have a lot of fun with it, if maybe a little bit ironically).

I suppose people might single out Liara because she's the one whose actions are the most extreme, and thus it crosses the line from "cute" to "creepy", but she's not the only one. Legion literally wears the armor off their dead body. As I said in my post, maybe her actions and/or attitude aren't 100% justifiable, but they are understandable.

I'm not sure about the game pushing Garrus as a love interest (I think the game itself is skeptical of the player making this choice, like when Shepard says she "can't believe she finds comfort in the arms of a turian" or something like that), but I do think he's definitely meant to be one of the characters that's most influenced by Shepard, regardless of gender.

Personally, I think him being so popular a choice (at least on Tumblr, which has a mostly female userbase compared to other social media) is due to him being a man, yes, but not necessarily because of sexism (or not always), but because het ships are farrrr more popular than femslash. Also, it's very clear how much he respects Shepard in basically every aspect, and it's incredibly fucking rare to see a het relationship in such equal ground, especially with a """bad guy""" lmao. (though ME in general does quite good in that regard I think, the romances in general are not toxic™️ or unequal) (mostly... ignoring that Shepard is basically everyone's boss... lol).

I completely agree that there's a double standard in how female characters are expected to behave vs male ones, and from what i've seen Liara is 100% a victim of this (I had the very bad idea of reading some threads on reddit...yikes). I don't know the fandom enough to know how it compares in relation to Garrus in particular, though, or if there's a correlation between Shakarian fans and Liara haters.

[suzukiblu]

Day eleven of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: implications of past grooming/abuse and the inherent problems that causes for someone who was in that situation and hasn’t processed it trying to have a relationship with someone actually age-appropriate. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“Uh–is it?” he asks, not really sure what else to say. Or more like, not really sure what else to say that would not sound both desperately, desperately horny and desperately, desperately weird. 

“I dunno,” Kon replies, giving him a quick, sheepish little smile. “Just makes me feel good, that you think I’m worth, like–taking out and showing off, or whatever. Like–without the S-shield on, even.” 

“The S-shield would definitely make date night a lot harder to enjoy, yeah,” Tim says, torn between wanting to kiss him and wanting to dissolve the entire entertainment industry and all of Kon’s previous romantic interests in acid from the ground up. Slowly. Kon blushes again, his smile widening. 

“And, uh–and that,” he says, glancing sidelong. “And that you wanna hang out with me without anybody interruptin’.” 

I want to hang out with you until I overthrow Gotham AND Metropolis and then I want to install a zeta between them and the biggest beachfront property you’ll let me buy for you and any little Kon 2.0’s you let me make you, Tim’s most insane self thinks and his slightly more rational current self does not say, because he has at least some small and tiny and miniscule scraps of self-control. 

Like, barely, and only lasting until the fifteen-year sidekick-to-supervillain plan goes off, but still. 

“I definitely don’t want anyone interrupting, no,” he agrees instead, and Kon beams at him again and then ducks in and kisses him again–just a quick little peck, but definitely still a kiss. Tim, belatedly, realizes that Kon might actually be getting more up in his space than he was before the whole . . . script issue happened. Just–standing closer, and leaning in a little more often, and things like that. Not in a demanding way or anything; just like he wants to be there a little more often. 

Like maybe he’s a little more comfortable being there, now. Or like maybe he thinks he can do it without anything being–expected from it, maybe. 

Tim doesn’t even know if Kon’s doing it on purpose or not, but he’s definitely noticing a difference either way. Just–there is very much a difference there to be noticed. 

He is definitely, definitely not going to be able to find out who any of Kon’s exes are before he goes supervillain. That’s just not going to work out for his timeline at all. 

Also Bruce would absolutely get upset if he found out about whatever he ended up doing about it, and he’s an emotional support sidekick, not, like, an intern or whatever. He is not here to cause problems, he is here to facilitate Bruce’s mental health, help him manage his paranoia, and minimize the amount of overkill beatings of petty thugs and small-time criminals. 

Admittedly Bruce managing his paranoia is not going great, but it’s a process, alright? He’s doing his best here. 

“So like, if we do go shopping again, wanna pick something out for me to wear for you next time?” Kon asks, still beaming at him. Tim’s brain attempts to reboot a couple dozen times before he manages to remember how to string a coherent sentence together. 

“Yes,” he says in an almost normal-person voice. Maybe. Theoretically. He . . . hopes, anyway. “Uh–yeah. That sounds, uh–like something I would like to do.” 

It’s a little harder to focus on the supervillain thoughts with Kon both wearing that expression and actually asking him to buy him something–especially specifically something he wants to wear for him–so that’s helpful for keeping to his timeline. But also, uh–embarrassing, kind of, because usually Tim is better at thinking than he currently is being. Like, his normal thought processes are a lot more involved than Kon’s so hot and Kon’s so CUTE and hurr durr pretty boy. 

He definitely still wants to ruin some people’s lives, but first he wants to get Kon dinner and dessert and buy out a boutique or four for him, and just like, a small suburb. Or town. City. Tri-state area. 

And also to pick out something for him to wear “next time”, since apparently Kon still wants there to be a next time that he sees Tim Drake and also just like . . . just the whole thing with the picking out something for him to wear thing, because Tim only has so much self-control, alright? He is doing his best here, but he’s only an emotional support sidekick, alright, he’s not made of stone. 

Seriously, Kon asked him to dress him and asked him to buy him something. Tim is not actually sure if he’s more thrilled about actually getting Kon to specifically ask him to buy something for him or frazzled over Kon offering to let him pick out something for him to wear. Just–god. Tim is just not even–Tim does not know what he’s feeling right now. Just–whatever it is, he is feeling it. 

He wonders if it would be, like, a little too pathetic of him to maybe get Kon another crop top. Or, uh, a little too thirsty of him. 

. . . probably, yeah. Probably definitely, in fact. 

. . . . . . but like, if Kon sees one he likes, it's not like Tim's gonna say no or–

Anyway. 

[ot3]

hey, i only just recently finished bridge to turnabout (the final case of the aa trilogy) and wanted to go back and see your thoughts on godot since personally i have very mixed feelings on him altogether. you can just reply with a link to a post where youve already explained how you feel in more detail (i remember seeing a post where you have but tumblr search function is ass so i cant find the one i was thinking about) or use this as an opportunity to bitch about him if youd like. but i generally think that you have a knack for putting opinions i already have into words perfectly and wanted to revisit ones on him specifically with a new set of eyes now that i finally understand the context behind everything. peace and love ✌🏽

ohhhhh man godot. a lot to unpack there. I feel like for the most part whatever thoughts i've posted about godot have been kind of piecemeal so ill try and put it into something more coherent and comprehensive here. well first of all congrats on finishing the trilogy i hope you enjoyed it!!! bridge to the turnabout is SUCH an excellent case on almost every level but. the writing centered around godot really spoils it and stops it from living up to it's full potential....

i was warned i wasnt going to like godot going in so i was really surprised that up until bttt, i actually did end up liking him! i thought he was hysterical! and i still do. but i really can't Like him because of what the writing centered around him does to the integrity of aa3's arc. I don't like what it does to mia's place in the narrative and I think it undercuts the emotional realism that makes ace attorney's slapstick ass nonsense murders manage to land right. i guess ill address each one of those points on their own?

I don't like what godot's writing does to mia's place in the narrative!

Mia's death is something that's completely within her own agency; it is her own phone call with her own sister, talking about evidence for the case she herself has spent years building, that gets her killed. None of this has anything to do with phoenix. She is no strings attached presented as his mentor figure and I think this dynamic is what prevents Mia's death from feeling like fridging despite it technically being something that has to happen to allow phoenix to take center stage in the upcoming events of the game.

then godot comes in and the narrative he imposes on her death feels like it retroactively turns it into Fridging! I mean 'is this character death the Fridging Trope or the Death of the Mentor Trope' is kind of milquetoast tvropes brained level media critique here but im really using these concepts as a shorthand for the level of agency a female character is allowed to have in her own death, and the degree to which that death is used as a tool for men's emotional development. but anyway the point being that the fact that godot views mia death as phoenix's responsibility is an inherently misogynistic bit of character writing. their power dynamic is such that mia was the one responsible for phoenix's wellbeing if anything, as his boss, his senior, and his mentor; the only reason godot presumes phoenix to be responsible for mia's death is because he a man who was in proximity to her! which fucking suuuucks.

Something I don't see talked about a lot is that godot also has beef with phoenix for being dahlia's stooge, which i think is a MUCH more interesting angle for his character. but that's presented as a separate thing from his feelings about mia's death

Godot: …… I never liked you. Six years ago… …you helped the woman who put me to sleep by hiding her bottle of poison. And then… While I was sleeping… …you let Mia die. But you didn't care. You just kept living your pathetic, happy-go-lucky life. You even had the nerve to follow in her footsteps as a lawyer. I could never forgive you. That's what I thought.

now to be clear i don't think the narrative frames his blaming phoenix as something we're supposed to agree with. Godot has his whole confession at the end where he admits he views himself as responsible for failing to protect her. but it does basically mean that her death stops being something that was About herself and the choices she made and her relationship to her family, and instead becomes About the effect it had on the men in her life. which i really don't like!

NUMBER TWO. I think godot's writing lessens my ability to get emotionally involved in this case

Even within ace attorney's fucking moon logic bridge to the turnabout pushes my suspension of disbelief past its breaking point. I don't care about the pendulum horseshit. I don't care about the ghost possession. I'll accept all of that. What I can't accept is: why does no one EXCEPT godot himself seem to care that this entire murder could have been avoided if maya at any point been warned about it? Misty and Iris just as guilty of this as godot is, but the biggest difference between them and godot is that 1. misty has been a deadbeat for ages and is now just Dead. Her primary established character trait is not talking to her fucking kids. 2. Iris has been working as dahlias accomplice for her entire life and so the idea that she would willingly conceal this has much more legitimacy to me.

We are supposed to accept and sympathize with the idea that protecting maya Actually Was Something He Did. I say were are expected to accept and sympathize with that because phoenix and maya sure do! I guess you could interpret this as them trying to give some comfort to a man that is clearly at the end of his rope and about to be sent to prison.

Phoenix: Y-You're wrong! You put your life on the line to save Maya! Godot: Was it really for Maya's sake...? Even I'm not really sure. [cut some lines for brevity] Godot: You were the one who made me realize my folly. You never ran away from Mia's death. Instead, you picked up where she left off, as a true defender of the people. In that one moment... I understood everything! Phoenix: Mr. Godot... Godot: I think you already know this, but if you don't... My name is... Diego Armando. Maya: M-Mr. Armando! I believe in you! I know you were trying to save me!

then, later on:

Phoenix: (So I guess it's all over... The way everything ended... Was justice really served...? The man who risked his life to save Maya is being sent to prison by my own hand...) Mia: Of course justice was served. Phoenix: M-Mia! Mia: ...I'm proud of you, Phoenix. Your defense was... truly brilliant. Phoenix: B-But I couldn't save Mr. Armando! The man who cared so deeply for you... Mia: You're wrong, Phoenix. You did save Diego. You saved him in the only way possible.

I guess technically godot did risk his life to save maya. and I do like the conclusion that basically being laid bare and brought to accountability like that is what godot needed to 'save' him. but i'm just not sure why the fact that maya was only in danger in the first place due to godot's choices doesn't factor into how phoenix feels about him 'saving' her. I just don't buy it!!!

It lacks the emotional weight that other instances of Avoidable Tragedy in the series have had. Ace attorney is at its best when the relatively grounded emotions are contrasted by the zany impossible crime antics. But i think BTTT is an instance where the emotional realism isnt taken far enough to distract me from the convoluted nature of the actual events that have just taken place. Rather than being so in touch with the characters during this case that i can tap into the Tragedy aspect of 'this didnt need to happen like it did' i just find myself frustrated by the fact that it didn't need to happen like it did. It kind of chafes the whole case for me and at the end I didn't feel any sort of cathartic victory regarding the events that had just transpired. but that was clearly the feeling they were going for

i did enjoy godots for the most part, but i think you'd need to make some serious overhauls to the storyline to have this specific case reach its full potential. it's a good case! but as the end to the entire trilogy i just can't help but resent the fact that it has the clumsiest writing out of any of the individual games' finales. and that everything i disliked about it is attributed to the actions godot took and the reactions other characters had to that.

[olderthannetfic]

Okay, I need advice: I'm in a very tiny fandom (like less than two dozen active people and everyone knows each other) and one of the women in it is kind of freaking me out.

We became mutuals because we had some good discussions on some of the characters we liked, but I soon became sort of uncomfortable with a lot of her online behavior whereas simultaneously she's DM-ing me more and more.

She's one of those people who's a hardliner on the issues she cares about (mostly feminism- and SA-related) while talking over people when it comes to issues she doesn't care about (mostly racism and related things). And I see a lot of her trying to intrusively police how other people talk/act, derailing people's posts, arguing with people online over the most stupid shit (where not even her own opinions come off as overly coherent - this week she'll argue something along the lines of "men are evil" and the next she'll argue that people are "demonizing masculinity" - I'll add for clarification that she's not a TERF and supports trans rights but boy... Does she sound like one sometimes) and then digging through people's profiles to find and publicize minor transgressions and bad takes, passive-aggressive vagueposting, and going into mental breakdowns over the most innocuous of online interactions.

TBH she scares me. As someone who suffered through toxic people getting overly attached to me, I genuinely sometimes get a physical reaction when I see her lashing out on the dash.

And she keeps initiating conversations! And sometimes I don't reply or bring the conversation to a natural closure and she keeps at it, or sends me random fics of hers to read that I don't have the heart to tell her don't interest me or whatever. And recently when she disagrees with something I reblogged she direct messages me to rant about it - with a lot of sort of indirect language because she doesn't want to offend me but I can see the intent. The last couple of times I replied politely because I cared about clearing misunderstandings on the topic but next time I'm just gonna tell her I dislike it when she does that.

I really want this person to stop interacting with me, to be honest, and all my polite hints to the effect go unnoticed. But the fandom is so small I feel awkward and uncomfortable about unfollowing or blocking her. I don't think she's too bad of a person, she just comes off as very... Mentally ill, I guess? And since I've tried to be polite so far I feel like it might come out of left field for her?

TBH I feel like something about her behavior also triggers some kind of freeze/fawn reaction inside of me that I don't often get and consequently don't know how to deal with.

So I need impartial advice because I don't see the situation clearly myself

--

To summarize, a person who is a walking red flag wants to be friends, and you can't easily ghost her because the fandom is small.

I think you have to accept that there is no low-conflict way out of this.

That's what's holding you back, right? You don't want more drama and you know it's coming. I think you already know in your heart of hearts that you need to get away from her even if it's a pain in the ass.

Step one is to stop responding to her DMs. That will probably make her reach out more, but you should keep not responding. If she escalates and attacks you over it, block her.

The more you offer reasons or try to gently hint, the more that will encourage her. I don't think that's true of everyone, but I do think it's the case here. This is both because it doesn't sound like she's good at perceiving or respecting boundaries and because she inspires a bad lack of ability to assert boundaries in you.

I agree that it's unfortunate that you can't stand up for yourself or tell her plainly when she's out of line, but since you can't and that probably won't change any time soon, you'll need to protect yourself a different way. Sometimes, we just have to avoid people who are bad for us even when it's an us problem. (And here, whoaaaa red flags, so I don't think it's just a you problem anyway.)

There are many sad, lonely, needy people in the world. Some of them are officially mentally ill in some way with a diagnosis. Some just need things they aren't currently getting. That sucks...

But it's also not your job to fix.

[serbarris]

Sweet music playing in the dark

Dragon Age: the Veilguard, some spoilers for plot, spoilers for Emmrichs romance  Pairing: F!Rook Ingellvar x Emmrich Volkarin  Rating: T   Summary: A slight reimagining of Emmrich and Rook's romantic interest confession scene with the wisps. Words: 1730 Set after the 3rd scene in I'll Crawl Home to Her

Added to ao3

“Ah, Rook! I’m glad you're here, I was wondering if you could satisfy my curiosity.” Calliope nodded, making her way over to Emmrich as he perched on the desk atop the landing in his quarters. Her anxiety spiked slightly as she wondered what Emmrich could be asking about but nevertheless allowed him to continue, “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you not mention you were once my student before the other night?”   

Calliope pondered her answer. Would now be a good time to admit her crush? No, but Emmrich has been somewhat reciprocating her poor attempts at flirting, so he must somewhat also at least consider her enough of a friend to appease her, and let her down gently, so she could try to be open with him. “I was a bit embarrassed,” she began, watching Emmrich’s eyebrows raise. “Not by your teaching! You were a good teacher, a great teacher, I... I just didn’t know if it would be weird for you to know - since we’re working on saving the world together.” It was also for her own benefit that Emmrich didn’t try to remember Calliope as a scrawny young woman, always behind in the latest fashion due to the hand-me-downs the other watchers passed to her.    

“Seeing you now, I believe I made entirely the right choice in accepting you into my class all those years ago. I must admit, I quite envy you, Rook.”    

“Really?” Calliope asked, breathlessly, how could she be the envy of Emmrich? When she still yearned for his knowledge and techniques to manipulate the fade and spirits, he showed her every day how much she could grow as a Watcher.   

“You know how seldom Watchers leave Nevarra, if ever. You’ve already travelled more of Thedas than most of us see in a lifetime. What adventures you’ve had!” Wonder and excitement permeated every word. It filled Calliope with a warm feeling and the hope that maybe Emmrich was just as fascinated with her as she was with him. Any pride in herself however was coated with a hint of darkness, she hadn’t really wanted to go on the adventures she had in the last 12 or so months, they were rather forced upon her due to her ‘agreed break’ from the Mourn Watch, which still made her question, daily – if not hourly - if she regretted her actions.   

“I wish the choice to have those adventures was completely my own, but it’s flattering you think me a grand adventurer.”   

“Well, something thrills at travelling with a daring young woman who’s racing to stop an apocalypse.” Inevitably a pink flush rose to her cheeks and heated them fiercely, just as it had at any other time Emmrich complimented Calliope. “Especially if she’s shown unexpected interest in an old Professor?” Calliope’s heart felt like it was pounding too fast, or too slow - she wasn’t very good at biology when it came to live humans - but she felt her pulse thud in her ears as her mouth became dry. Emmrich smiled as if he could sense the way her skin felt too tight, that her brain had so many thoughts rushing through that she struggled to form a coherent sentence. As she replied he tried to follow her face, which she shied away, hiding to the side, not wanting to meet Emmrich’s own eyes. “You have a very... charming way of putting things.”   

“Well thank you. I have taken notice of how you always compliment my work, Rook. It’s most flattering considering your own abilities. Perhaps those years at the lectern have proved useful.” Pondered Emmrich, considering the skull in his hand, Calliope could see a thought cross his face before he turned to her and asked, “May I show you something of the greater Fade here?” His voice was deeper as he asked, thrumming under Calliope’s skin.   

She managed to let out, “Please.” It was almost a whisper.   

“Close your eyes. Take a breath.” Calliope couldn’t resist taking a peek at Emmrich as she felt him move closer, her senses heightened, “Ah.” Emmrich admonished, “Slow. Deep.” Emmrich lightly gripped Calliope’s hand, guiding it to rest on the top of the skull, covering her hand with his own, she felt his rings press against her meagre jewellery. As Emmrich spoke an incantation, she felt a tingling sensation from underneath her fingers, she felt the ripples of magic spread around them, electrifying their surroundings. Feeling a presence nearby, she moved slightly, her nose being tickled by the unknown apparition. Slowly opening her eyes, she gasped with awe as she was met with a flurry of wisps of all different sizes dancing around herself and Emmrich. They danced and twirled around reminding her of the paintings of ballrooms in Vorgoth’s collection. Mesmerised she stared as the wisps encircled the pair, drawing her closer to Emmrich, she could almost feel his breath on her face, “If your attentions go beyond charming flattery... that would interest me, indeed.”    

Calliope took a moment to register Emmrich’s words. His tender, questioning voice. She must be dreaming, right? This wasn’t happening. Emmrich Volkarin, famed Fade expert, and corpse whispering extraordinaire, who she’s been infatuated with since she was 16 is interested in her. If she went back and told herself this day was happening then young Calliope probably would have fainted, Maker, present Calliope felt like she could faint. “I’ve always -”   

Hiss   

Her breathless confession was cut off by the arrival of Manfred. Sweet, precious Manfred. Calliope's sigh of relief was louder than she anticipated, but she was glad she hadn’t blurted out that she had found him attractive and had dreamed about the slightest possibility Emmrich also reciprocated her feelings. As Calliope made her way towards the stairs, Emmrich caught her arm, “Rook, I must attend to this, but I’d be delighted if we found each other later.”   

Calliope knocked on Emmrich’s door, hoping she wasn’t imposing too much by inviting herself for tea. Emmrich did tell her to find him later, and Calliope did ask Emmrich after dinner if it was okay for her to join, but Calliope’s mind liked to play tricks on her, unpicking every situation with a fine-toothed comb and twisting it to go against Calliope's desires and intentions.   

She could hear a fast clacking against the flagstone floor as Manfred ran to open the door, an excited hiss erupting from his mandible as he gestured for her to enter. A teapot and cups were set up on a table in front of a settee, steam rising. Emmrich rose from his seat as Calliope entered, “Rook! Perfect timing, Manfred just poured the tea.”

Waving her over and guiding her to her seat on the settee, Emmrich bid Manfred thanks as Calliope heard Manfred clamber up the stairs. “I hope I prepared your tea to your liking,” Emmrich said, handing Calliope her teacup and saucer. It certainly looked how she would prepare it; with a small amount of milk and as she took a sip, she noticed a slight sweetness. Emmrich had even paid attention to how much sugar she added to her tea. “It’s... perfect.” A relief washed over Emmrich’s features, and he settled back on the settee with his own brew. They exchanged small anecdotes, from both before and during Calliope's time at the Necropolis, they spoke for so long the fire had started to dim, being neglected by both of them, the pot of tea long finished. Calliope steeled herself as she attempted to bring the conversation to a similar vein to earlier that day. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you outside of lectures or Necropolis gossip, Emmrich. I was worried you’d high tail it home when you realised I was a former student of yours.”    

“Well, I didn’t expect a fellow Watcher at all, but you are a very skilled necromancer Rook, you shouldn’t doubt that.”   

“If you said that to adolescent Calliope, I think she would have died happy knowing the Professor she’s infatuated with thought so highly of her.” Calliope braced herself. She finally said it. She had been trying to work her crush into conversation all evening. That was, of course, the point of tea, to come clean, and admit her longstanding feelings. Her doodles in the margins of books and her picking flower petals (he likes me, he likes me not) might actually come to fruition. She had to be honest. She felt bad enough that she had hidden this behind flirting for weeks. Neve and Bellara goaded her at every opportunity to admit how she felt. She had been rehearsing responses to made-up questions all afternoon in anticipation of this evening, of course, none of the scenarios came to be realised.  

Now that she had admitted her feelings, felt like a weight had been lifted, even if her body tensed, waiting for the surely coming rejection. Emmrich reached across to where Calliope’s hand rested on the settee cushion, taking it in his own as he looked into her eyes, “My dear I had guessed that might have been the case. Your cheeks bloom the most delightful shade of pink when you talk to me.” As if on cue Calliope’s cheeks felt hotter, she shied away, trying to hide the flush, but Emmrich tenderly gripped her chin, tilting her face and moving closer so he could study her deepening blush. “Exquisite,” Emmrich murmured, Calliope’s brain mercifully was clear of thought. She had simply transcended into a state of shock. Calliope saw Emmrich’s eyes dart across her face, her eyes, her blush and her lips. She gravitated towards Emmrich, until eventually, their breaths mingled, their faces so close it would only take a few millimetres of movement to close the gap between their lips.   

So, Calliope moved.   

Emmrich’s lips were impossibly soft and tasted of tea. It took Emmrich a second to realise they were indeed kissing before he reciprocated with passion.   

Calliope felt Emmrich’s grip on her chin loosen as the kiss deepened, pulling her from her fervour. With a jolt, she stood up, knee knocking against the table making the tea set clatter, as she backed away. “I... I’m so sorry.” She apologised as she rushed out the door, her fingers grazing over her swollen lips. Emmrich sat, stupefied as Manfred ambulated down the stairs, a questioning hiss reverberating around the room. “I’m not sure Manfred, I’ll speak to Rook tomorrow. Give her some time.” 

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[ronearoundblindly]

Hit By Fate

a Steve Rogers x Reader life lesson

[This is my own entry for my 1-1-1 Challenge, but also is a very belated gift fic for @itickledthesleepingdragon. May we all remember that we are worth care and consideration!💜] WC 2365

Recommended links: Habibi Through The Years--The Old Guard fandom, Joe/Nicky (Ao3) Invaluable--Star Wars fandom, dad!Obi-Wan

Summary: It's just an accident, and you're totally fine. One handsome man, however, does not agree.

It’s not their fault; it’s just bad luck.

You should have texted to confirm this morning, but since Syd told you she’d text you if anything changed, you didn’t want to pry. Your friends make enough fun of you already for never coming out. You didn’t want to give them one more story in their long list of times you bailed. They already think you’re allergic to fun, so tonight you were going to show them.

You’d rushed to the restaurant after work. You even woke up early to do your hair before work so that you’d still look nice. You brought a purse to transfer your wallet and keys and makeup into so as not to carry your much larger work bag around. You even drank less water the entire afternoon so you wouldn’t be rushing to the restroom and slowing down your cross-city commute.

But then you arrived and there was no reservation.

Not under anyone’s name.

The hostess seemed outstandingly indifferent to your situation. You stepped aside for other patrons, sneaking peeks through the wonky glass dividers to catch a glimpse of your friends at a table maybe, and you texted one.

>>Hey.

<<Whaddup? Tiff replies.

>>You guys here yet?

<<Where?

You give the name of the restaurant and feel your guts crash to the polished wood floor.

<<We were there earlier. Yeah. Why?

Your hands start to shake with anxiety and a touch of rage.

>>I thought we were meeting at 7

The dots show up and disappear. The hostess huffs, staring at you while striking through a line on her paper. You’re blocking one of four total doors to enter the building, but apparently, that’s still taking up too much space.

<<Syd and Karol got off at 4 so we just had drinks early

<<TGIF

<<On a pub crawl now

They know you still work tomorrow. They know you likely would barely drink at dinner. You know exactly why no one would bother asking you if you could get out of work early, and you know they would not try any spontaneous fun for your first time out in months. They didn’t ask because they knew you’d say ‘no,’ or even worse, they knew you’d say ‘yes’ but be uncomfortable the entire time.

You try to call Syd, a last-ditch effort to get a lock on just how drunk or how far away they are. You tell yourself that if they are close and seem relatively coherent (and if the bar serves some small plates of something because you are hungry) then you’ll go. You will absolutely go.

Syd doesn’t pick up. You try Karol. No dice.

Fine. You turn to ask the hostess if there is space at the bar to eat, but she looks at you with such annoyance and a raised finger while she handles a couple who clearly out-rank you in some way.

Defeated, you leave instead.

This whole thing has taken so little time that you’d have to wait another ten minutes for the next bus back. You just walk, staring down at your phone, willing one of them to talk to the other, willing one of them to realize they’ve left you behind.

Do they even care that they’ve done it? Are they even your friends anymore?

The sad part is that you don’t go out much, but these are the friends you go out with the most. It just so happens that’s a few times a year, and that is you trying. This is you pushing yourself.

It’s not good enough.

Just as the WALK sign lights up at the street corner, the dots show back up under Syd’s message, and you shove it closer to your face.

You don’t see it coming.

A cab’s bumper smacks your left leg and bats you sideways. The solid hit feels like a tumble on the ice rink. It spins you, your phone flying out of your hands, and you’re scrambling not to fall. Your muscles tense every which way that’s not natural, probably looking klutzy.

You shoot back up too fast and look around, wondering if people are staring at you now, but the few other people crossing simply walk on by.

The cabbie only rolls down his window.

“You okay?”

Not actively concerned. Not getting out of the car. Not even apologizing.

But if you’d kept walking, you’d be across already. If you weren’t just standing there, the cab would be able to turn and so would the several others behind him.

One honks.

“Fine,” you say quietly, waving him on for emphasis and stepping back to find your phone.

All the effort of the day, all the preparation mentally and physically, and you are stranded on the wrong side of the road, exactly where you started, metaphorically and near-actually run over.

You have to crouch down by the curb and pray your phone didn’t slide into the gutter, wincing at a particular angle that shoots pain up your left thigh. Maybe you aren’t fine.

“Miss?” a tentative, low voice calls above a classic pair of Converses on the sidewalk. “Think this is yours.”

A man in glasses and a ball cap hands your phone back, the screen mercifully intact.

It’s such a tiny blessing in this string of unfortunate events.

The breath you take turns into a whimper and ends in a sniffle. Tears sting your eyes as you start to think about what happened—what really happened—in the past minute.

“Thank you,” you choke out, snatching the device. The gesture seems aggressive after the fact. “Sorry. Thank you,” you try again.

“You okay?” How the same two words can sound so different from two people, you’ll never know, but the difference floors you harder than the car’s impact.

With the utmost care, the stranger’s hands lightly touch your shoulders and guide you out of the road.

“I’m fine.” You’re an automated recording, retreating to a quiet and lonelier space in your mind. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

“You got hit by a car,” he says bluntly.

“No, just a—“ you look up into the man’s face, his blond hair, his blue eyes, his strong jaw, his height “—graze.”

“Yeah, you got grazed by four thousand pounds.”

“You’re…” All you can do is point at Captain America’s chest and blink.

He frowns and whispers. “You recognize me?”

Somehow that’s the strange part?

“Shoot. The glasses usually work. Don’t…please don’t make a big deal, but I…I’m sorry I couldn’t pull you out of the way.”

Steve Rogers buries his hands in his jean pockets, folding himself more into the cover of his hoodie and leather jacket.

“You wanted to help me?” you croak.

He ticks his head in confusion, respectfully indicating that you’ve asked the one and only dumb question known to mankind.

“Why?”

You don’t even know what you’re asking about now. Why me? Why today? Why now? Why not? You don’t notice your hands are shaking until he grips them gently.

“I can take you to the hospital,” he offers.

“I’m fine.” The repeat earns you another frown. “I’m not…hurting,” you clarify.

“That’s called shock, sweetheart.”

Steve seems to catch himself and sighs.

“Sorry. What I mean to say is let’s find you some water and somewhere to sit, okay? I’ll check you out then.”

You nod immediately. He’s only half-turned when Steve spins back around.

“Not check you out check you out,” he mumbles, “just like a once over. No, not…” he sighs harder. “I am going to make sure you are alright.” Every word is strategically emphasized.

He leads you to the nearest bench. His head stays down the entire way to a newspaper stand to buy you a bottle of water.

You can tell by the way Steve monitors every move of the bottle to your lips that he fights doing it for you. From his overly attentive posture, you’re surprised he waits a whole minute to ask how you feel yet again.

Still stunned, honestly, but it’s not just your left leg that aches, it’s your whole body. That seems too pathetic to admit aloud, but if you say the ‘fine’-word one more time, he’ll surely carry you to the dang ER. He has that look.

Instead, you admit, “I’m hungry.”

A smile blossoms over his features. “I can help with that.”

The boyish glee with which Steve Rogers walks you (gingerly) to a nearby, hole-in-the-wall pizza parlor is endearing. You’re not a patient for those minutes, and when he orders for you both (there are three lines on the board and that’s the menu) while you claim a teeny tiny booth, you’re not a victim of your day.

When he tells you how he found this place originally, how it’s almost like the pizza he remembers from long ago but better, you’re not alone anymore.

“Were you going to get food when…” Steve trails off.

Maybe it’s the shock wearing too thin to mask the rest. Maybe it’s the hot cheese warming your insides and melting your anger. You spend the next ten minutes blabbing about what happened with your friends and explaining what you were doing when the cab hit you.

“So you weren’t even okay before the car?”

His words throw you for a loop.

“No, I mean, it was just a misunder—“

“You’re doing it again,” he cuts in. “You’re diminishing you in the picture.”

You take a long swig of your soda while staring blankly at him. You watch Steve realize you aren’t even going to impose on him for an explanation. He drops his slice on the plate and holds out his huge hands as props.

“The whole picture of your day, right?” His arms are wide, then he points at things on the table. “You told me about Syd and why it’s ‘fine’ that she changed plans for her own convenience. About Tiffany and Carly—“

“Karol,” you sputter mid-sip.

“Carol, right, sorry. Everyone has a -y in their names now. I just assumed.”

“Karol with a -k,” you add.

Steve…ponders whether that’s some sort of joke before waving his hands to regroup. “You told me how your other friends—using that term loosely—rationalize leaving you to eat or even navigate the city alone—“

“I don’t need a chaperone.”

“Debatable,” he chuckles. “And then you tell me about how the cab driver probably didn’t need the hassle of dealing with some minor injury he inflicted on—and I quote—‘someone.’”

His eyebrow pops up over the rim of his glasses as if that will drive his point home, but you’ve got nothing.

“Where are you in the picture?” he finally blurts. “It’s your time and your effort and your body and your safety, and you just told me everyone else is more important. They all deserve consideration before you in your own life. Including some driver who could have killed you!”

He’s getting visibly agitated the more he talks, and you shrink in the seat, not out of fear but out of guilt for taking an evening of Captain America’s time to yourself. If your friends couldn’t even stand to spend a meal with you, it makes sense that Steve would be annoyed with your company.

“Wait, there,” he points directly at your face, “what was that thought? What did you just think?”

“I—I’m sorry I—“

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Steve asks bluntly.

He must see your eyes glisten with more unshed tears because his whole body visibly softens.

“You showed up at the place you all agreed on—“ he counts on his fingers “—at the time you were told, and walked across a street with right of way.” He does what you are beginning to think of as his signature sigh. “Am I missing something?”

All you can do is chew on your bottom lip.

It takes you what feels like an eternity to notice. “I could have really been hurt,” you mumble finally. “That’s not okay.”

Steve stretches his long arm across the tiny table, opening his palm to await yours.

“I hate to tell you this. You don’t have to be torn open to be ‘really hurt,’ sweetheart.” This time he says the nickname with firm intention. He squeezes your hand. “Now, I’d appreciate it if you’d come to the infirmary with me and get some industrial-grade salve on what’s sure to be a nasty bruise.”

You smile sadly, still pushing away errant thoughts that you’re imposing on the Captain.

“And by the time that’s over…it’ll be time for a late-night dessert before I take you home.”

In the fluorescent light, you can see him blush fiercely.

“As an escort—escort you,” he corrects, “to your door, I mean. For safety.”

He shrugs uncomfortably to adjust his layers of disguise, hanging his head, this time to hide his face from you.

“If you ever wondered why I’d go out to pizza alone,” Steve whispers, “wonder no longer.”

He scoots across his side of the booth to stand.

You think for a long moment.

This is important. This is one of the most important men in the country—nay, the world—begging you to be the protagonist in your own life. He wants you to want that.

You deposit the last grease-crumpled napkin onto the stacked plates and clear your throat. “I like this picture,” you say first, but it’s not enough. It’s not loud enough. It doesn’t hold weight or take up its due space.

You try again.

“I like being in this picture.”

He’s tall and his gleaming white teeth are perfect and his bright blue eyes are framed by long lashes and he’s staring right at you. How could you not shoot your shot?

“I’d—“ you fight the urge to look away “—consider seeing a sequel, too.”

Steve pushes up his fake glasses and nods, still pink in the cheeks. His hesitation reads as shy, not polite, not dutiful.

He juts out an average, hoodie-covered elbow for you to balance on.

“S’pose that means I should know your name, miss, and what your favorite flavor of ice cream is.”

Ro's 1-1-1 Challenge Details

A/N: In case you were wondering, the life lesson I wrote Steve Rogers teaching us is one that I constantly struggle with, too. This is an everyday, uphill battle to recognize our own worth and know that taking care of ourselves is not selfish. I hope this serves as a wee reminder!

Taglist: @supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @deandreamernp

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[diplonimbodocus]

omg i just read your aos lee spock fic and it was SO CUTE!!! if you ever have the time or interest, do you think you could do one with tos spock? maybe with some spirk there ? No pressure ofc!!!

Hello thank you so much!!! Honestly you don't know what that means to me! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! I have written you another little one featuring our wonderful tos boys, and I want to thank you for the ask because I've never written for these two before and it was a really good experience! Sorry it took so long, I just wanted to have it finished before I answered! Thank you again and love to you <3

Here it is~

"And he was so stubborn - well, you know what he's like - that I just had to do something about it. I lunged for him, and it's been the longest time, but he actually fell to the floor, laughing." Jim chuckled, as the lift slid, whirring sleekly between floors. "I really shouldn't be telling you this, he'd kill me."

"Laughing, captain?" Spock questioned with a straight face, the slightest cock to one eyebrow.

"Really, Spock. I'd bet you can hardly imagine our good doctor cracking a smile, never mind a laugh," Jim grinned, laughing more.

"Why laughing, captain?" Completely glossing over the latter remark, Spock remained curious.

Jim started as if to reply in humour before stopping short and turning to his Vulcan friend with a look of curiosity himself.

"Well - laughing, Spock. He was laughing because I tickled him, that's why."

The eyebrow came back down surprisingly fast.

"Ah yes. That most human of phenomena," Spock said, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Well it's not just human, Spock - all kinds of Earth animals are prone to it. But yes, I'll give you it is a bit unusu-" and at this moment, Jim looked at his friend anew. "Are you telling me Vulcans don't have this?"

"Would you be surprised, captain?" Spock answered, eyes on the elevator floor.

"Yes, I suppose not..." Jim looked pensive, and then the doors opened.

The two men walked along the corridor, eventually coming to the captain's quarters. The doors whisked open to let them enter.

Once inside, Kirk paced near the small desk area.

"Now Spock, with regards to the last mission, I think we really need to get our reports coherent to each other before we submit to Starfleet."

"Agreed. I can give you a detailed overview-"

Jim suddenly interrupted. "I'm sorry Spock, I just - is there really no tickling on Vulcan? Not even the children?"

Spock thought for a moment before he answered. "It is... abnormal."

"A-HA! So there is ticklishness in vulcans then?"

"... somewhat, yes."

"So it's the children? And you, what - grow out of it?"

"Vulcan children are born much like human children - they have many of the same traits. However we are raised and trained very differently. We learn to process all physical sensations, logically, from a very young age. Most parents, as I'm sure will be obvious, do not indulge in the practice. It is, illogical."

Jim's face fell. But then, "most parents?" He looked up with a glint in his eye. "What about yours?"

Spock locked eyes with his captain, one eyebrow cocked in a way that gave Jim a distinct feeling that he was in some way being defied.

"I had a vulcan father, and a human mother. My parents were not 'most parents.'"

"So you have experienced it! Something in that really - well - really tickles me, I have to say!" Jim's face gleamed as he laughed.

Spock stood uncomfortably quiet, seeming to deliberate.

"Cheer up, Spock, I won't keep pestering you. At least you've grown out of it!"

Jim clapped his friend on the arm jovially, but the vulcan continued to focus thoughtfully at a point on the ground, as if thinking about something.

And then the penny dropped. Vulcans cannot lie.

"Or have you?"

Spock must have heard the change in the captain's voice, as his eyes bounced up to meet Jim's with a deep and guarded look.

"Are you ticklish, Spock?" Jim grinned.

"Decline to answer," Spock replied.

"Don't pinch me - that's an order, Mr. Spock."

"Do you intend to abuse your power as captain of this vessel, undoubtedly loosing your rank and career in Starfleet, simply to test your hypothesis, captain?"

"If that's what it takes to get you laughing, Mr. Spock."

This game of cat and mouse continued, the two taking a waltz of slow and careful steps around the room, ever just out of reach of one another.

Jim's face was enthused and predatory, a look often seen when faced with a challenge. Spock's was unreadable, his feeling unknowable, save only for the fact that he could easily have called everything off had he really wanted to.

Jim, sensing his chance, lunged. Spock, as always, had reflexes finely-trained, and jumped backwards to dodge the grasping fist, however Jim, anticipating this, went in after with a second arm. He caught a fistfull of his regulation uniform in his fingers, and yanked the taller man firmly towards himself.

Caught off guard, Spock stumbled forward, right into his captain's open-armed grasp. There was a beat in which Spock did nothing.

"We're about to find out if you really are still ticklish, Mr. Spock," Jim said, and clawed at his friend's stomach.

Immediately Spock went stiff, stood upright and then crashed backwards onto his ass, looking dazed. He curled around the fingers currently trying to tear into his soft front flesh, twisting a little this way and then that way with each wiggle of the digits.

Jim could not keep the smile from his face. Spock was squirming! He continued pinching at the first officer's stomach as well as throwing some in sporadically to the sides.

Spock had begun to shudder, his eyes clamped shut with the ghost of a smile tugging there and at his lips. Just when matters couldn't get worse, Jim suddenly used both hands to attack.

"Hahah!" Spock let slip a surprised laugh.

Everything stopped, and Jim took a moment to stare at his friend in wonder and delight, before saying carefully, "Spock?"

Spock remained unmoved from his position, eyes shut, body curled and statue-still, a half-smile still visible. He seemed unwilling to comment.

"Not got anything to say?"

Nothing.

"Oh..." Jim said, though his tone was still playful. "I guess not. Suppose you'd rather do something else instead? Like this!"

Jim dug in again with new vigour, this time pinching all along Spock's sides, and the vulcan was on the floor, turning from side to side with the widest smile imaginable, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Oh come on, Spock! Where's that laughter? I know you have it in you," Jim teased, grinning all the while.

Spock suddenly shook his head, the first he'd responded to any of this.

"No? You're not gonna let me hear it?" Jim took little pinches at his tummy again.

Spock shook his head again, convulsing.

"That's too bad. Guess I'll just have to continue."

By now Jim was straddling his first officer, using gentle pinches all over his upper body, but when he kneaded his fingertips into his lowest ribs, Spock practically leapt off the ground, and finally Jim found that laughter.

"C-captahahain!" He pleaded.

"Bad spot, Spock?"

"Ahah ahah hahahahaha!"

"I'm going to take that for a yes," Jim smiled triumphantly, kneading in even deeper, and Spock was beside himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Spock's hands had come down to wrap firmly around Jim's wrists, but so far had done nothing else.

"Remember your orders, officer," Jim put on his captain's voice through the hilarity.

At this, Spock seemed to deflate, arms and shoulders going limp as his hands loosened their grip and fell away. 

"I'm impressed, Mr. Spock! But let's see how long you can hold out doing that."

Jim kept massaging those low ribs with his thumbs, using the other fingers to scratch at the sides, catching other ribs higher up. Spock acted as if electrocuted, his spasms unable to save him from the ticklish onslaught. His laughter had started deep but was getting higher.

Suddenly, Jims fingertips were moving down, exploring that expanse of waist that had come exposed during the struggling. His short nails scratched against the flat plain and Spock hit the roof.

"Hahaha!! N-no, captahahain!!" He bucked, only really succeeding in throwing himself further into the attack.

"Oh? Is it particularly bad here?" Jim grinned, giving it an extra good scratch, Spock pushing into it and shaking his head simultaneously.

"S-skihihin! Skihihin!!"

Jim looked down, and for the first time considered the skin-to-skin contact.

"Do you want me to stop?" He withdrew immediately, worried he might have gone too far.

Spock heaved some breaths, unable to engage right away. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked directly into Jim's gaze. He looked there for a time, unreadable, and then, unbelievably, cocked an eyebrow and said, "captain, don't presume to think you have broken me. I assure you, it would take much more than anything you could provide to do so."

Jim's mouth fell open as he grasped for a response, but he quickly recovered enough to beam back at his first officer.

"You said, "no, stop", your words!"

"A reflex reaction, and unfortunate," replied Spock, as if he hadn't just a moment ago been completely undone.

Jim stammered, dumbfounded. "And what's all this about skin? I don't understand you."

"Ah. That. I..." And finally Spock was showing some shyness. "It opens a slight telepathic connection."

Jim beamed with the dawning realisation. "Ahhh, I see... And that makes it worse?"

Spock said nothing for a moment, and Jim now noticed the slightest of greenish colouration in his cheeks.

"I'm afraid nothing could be worse than your attempts to get more than a surface-level, knee-jerk reaction from me."

"My attempts?" Jim asked delicately, whether curious or offended, it was hard to tell. "Are you telling me my tickles didn't tickle enough?"

Spock simply tilted his head as if to agree, and that said it all. "I believe the earth-phrase says, 'if the shoe fits'."

Jim snapped his mouth shut and switched to his captain face.

"Where was that spot again... Oh, here," and he locked eyes with Spock as he touched his fingers onto the bare skin. "You'll regret that, Spock, I promise you. Can you feel what I'm thinking? Can you see it?"

Spock said nothing, but the nervous look behind his eyes, the green in his cheeks and the tension like electricity radiating through his skin let Jim know the message was getting through.

"Are you ready to give me some more of those wonderful reflex reactions?"

Laughter filled the room once more as Jim got to work, undoing his vulcan.

[true-blue-sonic]

Hey Blue! Not reply related to sonic or anything but do you have any writing advice in general? You're like, the best writer I know and I'm kinda struggling to find good tips so I was wondering if ya got any.

Hello! ^-^ Thank you for the compliments!💕💕 It's a bit of a tough question; I definitely have some things, but I will readily admit that I don't always follow my own advice, Still, I hope it's useful!

Under the cut because it got long, haha!

If getting started is the main issue, I recommend setting a very tiny goal for yourself. My own is 200 words a day. Most of the time, once you have begun writing, those 200 words become over a thousand before you realise it. And if it does not work, you still have 200 new words you didn't have before! ^-^

Also, accepting that sometimes your draft just sucks and you need to wrangle the words out of the very depths of your being and you hate everything you write is also necessary. What you have can be edited later to become more in line with what you want. And it also just sucks to have a vague idea of how to continue or what you want your fic to be about, only to forget it later because you did not write it down.

What I myself like to do when writing is to go back to the beginning of a story if I find myself stuck, and already start with editing there. It helps me 'rediscover' what I've already written, cleans up the draft simultaneously, and often gives me ideas on how to continue at the part where I'm stuck. And I like to think that with a reconfirmed idea of what I have written before, I can make the story more cohesive.

I have uploaded stories before that I didn't feel 100% certain about. I think it's better until you're at a point where you do feel like 95% or more certain about it, than uploading it at 80% only for the sake of uploading stuff. I personally can strongly tell what stories I didn't feel too certain about or happy with when I reread them, no matter how long ago I published them.

Once you're in the flow, try to not get out of the flow, haha. If you forgot a word, just put it between [ ] brackets and come back to it later, don't waste time looking it up and risk running out of steam (I do it a lot with words I know in Dutch but forgot an English translation of XD). Similarly, if your flow is only lines of dialogue, write only lines of dialogue! And if it's only actions, write only actions. First drafts are for getting the idea out of you, only later can you begin editing and making full coherent paragraphs.

When editing, I like to pay attention to the way my paragraphs look. I prefer having a bit of variation in their form, so that I don't have an endless stream of -

"I'm saying something," Espio said, doing something in the meantime. "And now I'm saying something again." "Me too!" Silver agreed, while doing something as well. "And here also."

- that just constitutes most of the fic. I really like implementing variations in my paragraphs, such as beginning with a spoken sentence that ends with a dot so I do not need to indicate after it who said it in what way (responded, retorted, sighed, hummed, noted; such words. I rarely use said, now that I think about it.), or beginning with an action or description as opposed to someone speaking, etcetera. It's not always easy, but I feel like it does help enrich the story!

I know this one is more contested, but I myself can't stand endlessly using the characters' names for every single thing, so I like using synonyms there (the chameleon, the ninja, the hedgehog, the psychic, the time traveller). But I do think you should not use synonyms if they draw attention to something random about the character that the story is not about; for example, I would not describe Espio as "the taller anthro" between him and Silver unless the moment specifically describes a situation where Espio being taller is relevant.

Related to that, I try not to repeat the same word too many times. I'm a synonym gal, haha! But sometimes you have to accept there simply isn't a proper synonym for a term you're using, meaning you either need to use that term a lot or rewrite your sentences so that the term is not explicitly mentioned but you still know what is happening.

I very actively try to cut down on the adverbs I use, but it doesn't always work. A good adverb definitely can enrich the story, but in the same vein, using a stronger word instead of a weak word plus an adverb is definitely smart to do as well, lest the adverbs clutter your whole fic. But also, "weak word plus adverb" can carry a strong meaning all the same. To copy an example I vaguely recall from the internet: "smiled sadly" works as it is a contradiction, but "smiled happily" does not, because we associate smiling with being happy anyway. You are better off using something like "beamed" or "Happiness glowed on his face" for the latter.

The longest length a sentence should have is 85 words, a thesis supervisor once told me. I am very bad at keeping sentences below 85 words, alas.

Adding to that, a good sentence has a maximum of two commas, so three 'chunks' of a sentence (like this one, actually!). But for emphasis' sake, I throw that rule out of the window at times and put a lot of commas in if a paragraph 'calls' for it. With a good flow and a clear start and further progression, I feel that a sentence that is over 85 words can be properly followed and remain readable. But eventually there comes a point where splitting it up might be better, haha.

If you want to put in a gut-punch sentence, give it its very own solo paragraph! If you tuck it at the end of a longer paragraph, it loses its oomph. And also don't be afraid to switch up your paragraphs' lengths; I myself don't like having huge chunks of text after huge chunk of text to read through endlessly, but I also don't like reading stories with paragraphs that have only one or two sentences each. A 'play' between long paragraphs with much description and shorter ones (for me those often are centered around dialogue) of like two or three sentences and a few that are only one is a lot nicer to read, in my opinion.

Do not headhop!! With headhopping, I mean that you write as if you're in multiple characters' heads, instead of only one. If I write from Silver's POV, I will not write about what Espio is experiencing or thinking, and vice versa. Every thought, experience, and note about the world is firmly from the POV character's perspective.

In the same vein, I also do not like it if one paragraph has dialogue from multiple characters, as it makes it confusing to see who is talking. If another character starts talking, always begin with a new paragraph; it also helps with keeping your paragraphs differently-sized, I have found.

Most people probably don't know what the various existences of - (the dash) mean... I hope. But ; and : do have different meanings: ; is for when you have like a 'half-sentence' to attach to another sentence that would not work on its own, whereas : is for giving an example, basically. But I will readily admit I don't use ; correct either most of the time😅 If you read a sentence with ; in it and you see that you can make them two proper sentences with a dot inbetween, I recommend going for that.

For proofreading, I like popping the fic in the editor of Ao3 and make my final changes there. A different layout really can help you catch things you hadn't seen before!

And lastly, accepting that your fic will have that dumb spelling error in it that you missed sixteen times while proofreading and accepting that you simply are not a critically acclaimed writer with dozens of beta readers and the like is very important. We all do this for fun because we love a particular series or franchise, so we're allowed be make mistakes and be amateurs! The most important thing is to have fun with it and like what you are doing. Write for yourself, not for anyone else: you are supposed to enjoy it the most!

These are all I have at the moment, I hope you find them useful! Good luck with writing🍀🍀

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

he didn't have any song in particular that he related to and that they weren't autobiographical.

Honestly I think he just said that so that fans don't freak out lol. Did you see how fans were asking him why he was looking at the actress in the music video 💀 he had to say that he was a robot just following the directors orders. Some fans are immature and crazy

I don't get why some fans never trust anything the boys say when it comes to dating or anything else fans make assumptions on - if BTS don't say what Armys expect, then they're lying... I thought Armys trusted BTS? One thing is to be asked point blank if you are dating and another is to volunteer that information. I agree that we can't really trust some of the answers BTS give in interviews because we know they can't refuse to answer but they have the right to not reveal or conceal the truth, which means they may lie, even by omission. In this case, Jungkook chose to answer a fan on Stationhead. He could have easily ignored her or answered the question from a different angle (for example, romantic love has a lot in common with other type of relationships, he could've said he wanted the kind of love portrayed in his songs, etc.). Jungkook chose to answer the fan when he didn't have to. Why would he reply only to lie when it would've been far easier not to say anything? Because he didn't want fans to freak out about the lyrics that he chose to release knowing it would trigger fans in some way? He's said in multiple interviews now that the songs don't tell his stories - duh, he didn't write them, those who did don't know him, and he only selected the songs, probably before they even had lyrics. Some fans are immature and crazy, but I trust BTS to be honest with us whenever they can. He had no reason to lie. Some fans always want to believe BTS are fucking a different person every week or in relationships. The fans who refuse to believe BTS aren't dating have a lot more in common with the fans who refuse to believe BTS are dating than they'd like to admit.

Also, the lyrics in Golden are lowkey bullshit. 3D is about hooking up with someone you met online, which isn't necessarily a universal experience. Then we have really specific songs about breakups that don't line up storytelling wise (Too Sad to Dance, Shot Glass of Tears, Hate You). Golden doesn't tell a coherent story about a relationship, with a lot of the lyrics contracting each other. It makes it hard to connect to the lyrics (and the songs) because they're all random. Imo, while some love songs are relatable, regardless of the romantic relationship you have/had, or don't have, Golden has crappy lyrics. I'd say the most relatable/impactful lyrics are Seven (Clean Ver.), SNTY, and Hate You - this coming from someone who's never been in a relationship.

About the actress, what was he supposed to answer??? You think he was thinking "Oh I want to fuck her?" or "Oh, she's so attractive I want to ask her out?" when he shot the scene?? First, that would've been a very disrespectful thing to say about the actress; secondly, he literally didn't know her; thirdly, he was surrounded by cameras, so it wasn't exactly romantic; and, fourthly, Jungkook doesn't like acting or know how to act, which is probably why his mind was "blank". The director told him to act a certain way and he did. I'm sure Jungkook's mind wasn't literally blank but he would've had no issue telling that fan he'd been trying to communicate the intensity of his feelings/tell the story of the MV, etc.. I'm sure Jungkook knows fans get jealous, but why do you assume he's trying to appease those fans? He's awkward and shy around people he doesn't know, and shooting something with strangers isn't exactly intimate, like plenty of actors have said. Jungkook answered a similar question about the female dancers in 3D. He knew the fans were jealous about him being pushed by the female dancers, but he didn't really get why because he naturally felt awkward being pushed by, and holding eye contact with, people he didn't know well.

Why can't we just accept Jungkook's words? Sometimes I feel I must be very naive to actually trust the boys and not just say "Trust BTS" and then twist almost everything they say. We know they've lied or omitted stuff from us before, to protect themselves and even us, but why assume they're lying when they say something that goes against what he believe, especially if it's something so small?

[eshithepetty]

don't feel the need to reply to this but THANK YOU so much for your ritsu meta, i always love reading when you post and even if i don't always agree 100% you have such amazing and insightful meta about mp100, especially ritsu. like ritsu as a character resonated with me SO MUCH and i could see myself in him and i actually like that he snapped because of all the pressure and loneliness he was under, because it felt so realistic to me. and i really do think that even if it's lighthearted, the fandom DOES mischaracterize him a lot and that he's not just emo or angsty or violent, and it's really depressing to see people depict ritsu as like... depressed, jealous, making stupid decisions, mean, etc ALL the time. it honestly gets super frustrating... i guess i just want to say that i really appreciate when people do take the time to analyze his character and see his good traits, and that i am really grateful to you for like, continuing to treat every mp100 character with respect

Yesss,,, you're so right anon actually. Every character in mp100 gets flanderized by the fandom from time to time, that will just happen with fandoms, and with mp100 it's an especially easy issue to fall into because... like. As that one post by scribe said, mp100's characters work on contradictions, and people aren't usually well versed in working with that. but with Ritsu, it does seem to paint him in a rather negative light, huh? Those aspects of his character do exist, but it does get frustrating when, as I've said before, they're the only ones people focus on to a surface level. I'm not gonna be the most coherent rn cause I hadn't been able to sleep all night (not related to anything, my sleep schedule's just fucked lmao), but I really feel you anon on that. I see a lot of myself and my sibling in Ritsu (and Mob), and so I guess that's why it sometimes hurts for me too - to see people dismissing him as just 'angry' and 'irrational', to see his struggles boiled down to him just being dramatic. I'm not gonna get into it, and I'm aware this is my own personal baggage to work through, but yeah.

I will say, though, I find the comments about how silly it is for Ritsu to be angsting over people 'complimenting him' especially funny 😭 bro you dont even know how much people lauding you over your sibling while you both are actually in extreme distress and can't actually communicate enough to help each other can fuck you up lmao

Anyways!!! Thank you for that last comment as well <33 I'm not a very funny person, or a very active part of the fandom, or someone who does well in forging connections and being entertaining, but I do try my best to always understand these characters and express how I feel about them. That's my way of having fun with shows ig, I really like diving deep into these things and having discussions with people and losing my mind over little funny guys (my friends on discord will be able to attest to this, based on how many inane rambles they've been subjected to. Hi Kegan and Saj if u happen to read this hdhsjhehe) So thank you for sending this ask as well, and allowing me to talk some more :)

I should be preparing for school now, though, so I'll end it here. Hope you have a good day/night anon, as well as everyone else reading this <3

[queenoftheboard]

get to know the author

name: Mari.

pronouns: she/her.

preference of communication: definitely discord for mutuals who I've chatted for a while to further plot and everything! I can use the tumblr IMs at first, but if I typically offer to switch to discord pretty early on if the other mun agrees.

most active muse: currently Eirene, with my fandomless OC Melissa (@stingslikeabee) in second, and my beloved Yakuza leggy man Akiyama (@akiiyamashun) in third.

experience / how many years: gosh, I'm a Fandom Old (tm). I've used a million platforms and I started with passing notes in school and writing on actual paper; it's 15+ years doing this on and off.

platforms you use: tumblr at the moment, but I've gone through everything (forums, AIM, discord, livejournal, MSN, skype and so on).

best experience: I had a couple of really great runs in the early 2000s on livejournal and the RPC there, then since 2020 onwards here on tumblr on Melissa, including branching out to Akiyama and Eirene. It's been a constant/stable writing exercise which has helped me a lot through irl things, too.

rp pet peeves: I think the biggest one is getting what I call 'passive' replies? I'm not sure how to describe this, but feeling like I'm carrying the thread by myself and that the replies do not offer any new elements (no questions, actions or anything to react to or move the thread forward) make me lose muse very fast. Of course, sometimes this is necessary and makes sense in context! My issue is when this is a standard thing and the storytelling aspect does not feel shared, I guess. This is what makes roleplay fun and different from fanfiction, in my mind. :)

fluff, angst, or smut: all of them! I love flip-flopping through genres although smut is something I'm only comfortable after plotting and enough ooc interaction with the other mun. I'm all for telling interesting stories, no matter how they come to be in terms of being presented.

plots or memes: plotting all the way! I'm heavily plot-based and I have a preference for plotting a general timeline where we can move as we wish for threads and memes; I struggle at keeping interactions alive without some sense of direction or objective behind it all. It's fine to have the occasional slice of life or more conversation-based threads, but I generally like to have those within a bigger context.

long or short replies: long replies, I'm afraid - I just seem to have an issue with brevity, to be frank. This is something from my personal life that bleeds onto work, school assignments, real life letters etc; I write a lot, I write fast and I write frequently. It doesn't bother or strain me and as a result I've developed a rather introspective style of roleplay where there is a lot of thoughts/feelings included in replies, so they tend to be longer than average, I feel. I am always lowkey afraid this intimidate others - because it shouldn't! And I never expect the same length in return, just something to react to, really.

best time to write: it used to be during work hours when I was at the laptop already and alternated between work stuff and replies to take breaks, but now it's more evenly distributed during the day, I guess? I'm usually not writing super early in the day or very late at night because English is required and I tend to be only half-coherent and running mostly on default software that is equipped with Portuguese only, I'm afraid. >_>;

are you like your muse(s): definitely not hahaha. Apart from a life in the corporate world, we have almost nothing in common - not even the hair color! I'm more emotional, I know just the basics of chess, I have no super powers related to partial mutation, I don't really enjoy wearing high heels everywhere and I grow attached to people way more frequently than Eirene does. I'm pretty fucking good at my job, but I'm not a business prodigy either.

[truculentbitch]

same anon who sent the long ask - you prob won’t want to post this so no pressure to respond in a separate post or anything, i just want to explain how i got there but don’t know how to without saying something that will probably read as inflammatory to some people lol

ty for the reply, i really understand where you were coming from now. i def read the tone of your og post wrong, that’s my bad. i think we’re all pretty aware that nenjaturtle is sorta “known” for talking about dregirls, and lately i’ve been seeing a lotttt of posts and comments from blogs similar to the one i took from your post and responded to, but those ones are very obviously meant in a negative, snarky way, and are clearly directed toward nen. i’m not gonna comment on that other than saying that when i stopped checking in on mar’s blog, crit felt the way i think it should again lol. i think i’ve just seen so much of it recently, not just from one person either, that i automatically interpreted your post that way too, and it was disappointing. but your response clarified your tone and logic so i appreciate you taking the time to write it.

i get your frustration on some level. not to the same extent of course, but somewhat. george making his comeback is promising - i’m tentatively hopefully that we’ll start actually having things to talk about soon lol. i personally can’t really blame those who have old conversations again or nitpick things that’ve already been torn apart, because i understand the boredom, too, but i get where you’re coming from. anyways, sorry for a second long ask, back to lurking for me now lol. i hope your week is going well! :)

so i wasn't going to post this bc it contains named blogs and i don't want to get involved in the fractious back and forth there but i have a couple of things to say and i've never been good at shutting up. i've dmed both of the blogs mentioned to make it clear to them that my opinion here isn't meant as an attack and that i'm always willing to have a convo with them about it if they want. i hope that both are familiar enough with me and the way i conduct myself that they take this in the spirit it's meant.

to my mind, all of this is a question of comfort and desire, right? like what are we (or they) seeking in this space? what nen's anons are seeking is not the same as what mar's anons are seeking. that's just the base of it, the most obvious point, and then we get into the weeds of who's more valid or moral or righteous. or who's more comfortable for us, i guess, if we consider yr feeling of crit being 'the way i think it should'. that's a common thing, i think, ppl having an idea of what crit was or is or should be and i understand it, i've been here for years, but i can't commit to an idea of it. crit is an amorphous space. it has no rules, no form; it does have a loose social code but also no specific punishment for violating it. i don't think anyone can define what 'crit' is in a way that's enforceable. i wouldn't want to cohere to that anyway. so if we can't agree on an idea of what crit is, how can we say who's 'valid'? ultimately we can't and that's ok. we don't have to like every corner of crit. i think a lot of dteam crit ppl would be better off if they looked into non-dteam crit spaces and realised that their definition of the space is entirely myopic.

i don't follow nen bc i don't enjoy the convos their anons bring up. if they were less active i'd just scroll past but bc they're prob the most active/popular crit blog rn, it fucks my dash 😭 i've told them this is the reason i unfollowed. it's not a judgement of them specifically, it's just me not enjoying those discussions, as i said earlier. i don't think those discussions are worthwhile. i have issues with the convos and the way nen responds to some degree so i don't get involved. that's it.

i follow mar but i don't engage with the neg shit she posts bc it's not my business and i think it's silly. i don't agree with the way she addresses nen/nen's anons but again, it's not my business so i don't get involved. that's it.

i curate my space.

i think there's room for everyone in whatever the space we call crit is. i don't like the move towards stannish attitudes where any criticism of a blog's main is cause for aggressive textual bile. i don't like the move towards hugbox sensitivity where reblogging and disagreeing is seen as bullying or an attack on the blog rather than their opinions. like can you imagine if gugs or hata hated me bc i've disagreed with them publicly, over and over, on the dash???

i'm just gonna keep doing what i've always done tbh. i think i've been less willing to do that lately bc shit's been so explosive. i do think that the ability to (respectfully) disagree openly has been lost lately and i think that's unhealthy. i'm not sure if that's what lead to more aggressive responses but i don't think it's helped.

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

Hi Sarah! Merry Christmas & I hope you have a wonderful holidays 🎅 This is a super belated reply, but I've got around watching The Eras Tour movie last month - I liked the overall performance but was a bit bummed that several songs e.g. Cardigan were cut.

On 1989 TV: I really enjoyed the re-recording and was pleasantly surprised about the vault tracks! I found the bonus tracks from 1989 TV the most coherent to me - they might not be as catchy as the vault tracks from the other albums, but I think lyrically these vaults are the most solid batch to me. What are your favourite 1989 vault tracks?

Speaking of Olivia Rodrigo's albums, I also prefer Guts that it's sonically more ambitious but also flowed very well as an album! My favourites from her sophomore effort are: love is embarrassing, pretty isn't pretty, and get him back!

ooh as of Holly Humberstone's Paint My Bedroom Black, I really enjoyed the title track :D

P.S. It's been a very exciting year for music releases, the deluxe tracks from Maisie Peters' The Good Witch also came out and I really enjoyed it - whereas I used to find the standard tracklist missing something in the storytelling, I felt that the bonus tracks wrapped things up quite nicely! What are your favourite deluxe tracks from The Good Witch?

hi Jennifer! sorry as well that it took me this long to reply oof 😵‍💫 I hope you had some nice holidays as well & that the new year has been treating you well so far!!

are you then excited about the eras tour movie coming to streaming since it will include cardigan? 🤗

I totally get that & agree with you! I also feel like sound-wise they fit well within the record (though others might disagree). my favorite 1989 vault tracks are Is it over now? and Now that we don't talk! What are yours?

these are really good songs as well!! ahh funny you should mention that Holly Humberstone track because I stumbled upon it a couple of weeks ago & have been listening to it a lot since then!

also I finally started listening to the deluxe tracks on tgw! I had listened to them once when they came out but then I kind of had forgotten about them in the whirlwind that was the 1989 tv release but! since my Maisie concert is this month (!!) I finally came back to it over the holidays 😌 my favorite deluxe tracks are Holy Revival and Guy on a Horse! what are yours? ☺️

[witchofthevale]

I think there is type of people who have problems irl and they go venting and sending rude asks to people in every fandom because that is how they cope with anger. It's wrong though. I have anger issues but I am on therapy for 5 years and I learned to be part of fandom by using block button. I have specific criteria about hotd fandom. Anti Alicent blog? Block. Pro Daemon Targaryen blog? Block. Pro Viserys Targaryen? Block. Shitting on Alys and Gayle before she even appeared on screen? Block. Writing smut with tropes I don't like? Block. I am very picky, but it's impossible to try to engage with everyone esp when they like characters I hate. I know new users read every Aemond fic even though they don't enjoy them because they feel pressured to read each of them because they want to fit in. My advice is: don't read things that disturb you. Read 3 chapters of each fic writer and ask yourself Do I really enjoy it? Or it's meh for me? It's okay to dislike a fic. It's okay to block people so you'll never hear from them again. Feel no shame in blocking people. For me blocking people I don't vibe with it's like taking out the trash. It's good when they're not around.

Fun quip just because it's relative, but I started reading this right when my melatonin kicked in and I tried to figure out the tone if I was getting my first anon hate just from the paranoia of recent events jshdjshd. Sorry, too funny and actually quite sad not to share lol. I just felt discombobulated by getting this and at the random time ahaha!

Anyways, this is a lot and I wanna reply properly, have Elle's off-tangent reply thoughts because ADHD and 3am. I think I'm still coherent.

I mean for the most part, nons, I agree with your core sentiment. Block button is definitely good for sanctifying your space, in a place like fandom where you will interact with a level of unrestrained level of self expression, anything that helps you make it easier to navigate such a thing is basic form of self preservation.

For most of us, fandom is a space of comfort and when ugly shit rises, it really hits hard because your comfort is being threatened.

For another, if it's truly engaging and making friends is your goal (even if it's not, it's just how fandom as an ecosystem works)— or just the FOMO of not being a part of the fun because you've literally blocked 90% of people — sure it's difficult to really be part of it if you're blocking left and right. Which is also why I'd like to offer and employ the ignorance is bliss system.

Like you said, there are certain things you might not agree with someone you're moots with/follow but as a whole, you still want to engage with them. It's just how individuality works, and that's okay too. Just because you and another person can't agree on the one thing— character, team, whatever the fuck — you can just skip and scroll, and mind your business.

And at the same time, you can still be able to connect with the parts that you do like/have in common with the person.

Just a tip since I actually use the block button sparingly (unless you're a bot lol). But if blocking is what comforts and sanctifies your experience, have at it! I hope you're in a sweet space where you feel at your most comfort because that is what fandom is supposed to be. We're here to have fun and it's truly fucked up to see that tainted with ugliness.

On that note, I can't begin to start wondering why people send hate.

I'm a very lazy person, nons. I cannot imagine myself going through someone's Ask, toggling on the Anon button (again, as a lazy person, it is such a big step to even do this part 'cos then it asks you if you're sure and you have to click again please I cannot), and writing your pièce de résistance like you aren't going to be pitied.

Because in the end, what you look like— to me at least — is a sad, sorta masochistic coward who needs that anon button to feel safe because you know what you just sent is cruel, unwarranted, and something you would never be able to spit in a person's face, much less mumble.

I cannot begin to unravel why someone would do this. I don't want to try. I've been in fandom spaces since 2012, at the height of shipping wars, fruit NSFW tagging, and feet fetish scammers to name a few.

Whatever catharsis they feel at being able to receive a reply is only temporary cos at the end of the day, they sent that through anon for a reason. They know what they did was shameful.

And if you can't even do it with your full chest, why would I bother lol?

I'm personally a lazy person and tired from irl when I come to fandom spaces to detangle and have fun. I cannot be bothered with you.

But yeah no, I dunno. People can do whatever they want with their blogs, it's their space. Block, ignore, whatever. I like where I'm at, I enjoy my little corner of fandom. I adore so much of my moots and have fun interacting with everybody so far.

I'm glad you've curated your space though, nons! And I agree that you can wholeheartedly dislike a fic. Not everything's going to be for you and that's okay.

PS. Do people really feel pressured to read for Aemond omg? I personally never did, I got back into fanfiction because of Aemond fanfics actually ahahaha! I just lurked around before 'cos I watched HOTD late; too many months later 'cos my best friend watched it first and she's a hardcore ASOIAF girlie and she ranted ahahaha!

When I braved it, I just watched it as a separate entity and had fun 'cos the actors were really good and somehow, I jumped back in fandom space enough to write lol

[gamingavickreyauction]

Being the same as everyone else is equivalent to being alone!

I can recognise this as a coherent perspective, but I do not get it. I always feel very different from the people around me in a way that is alienating and isolating, and where I have been able to forge friendships it has generally been with the people who are most like me. I feel that in a world where people were more like me, I would have a lot more connection to those around me and a lot more opportunity for friendship. Furthermore, the Tories wouldn't keep getting elected.

Though some things you discuss just seem like differences in interpretation of the counterfactual 'if people were more like me'. E.g., I wouldn't suppose everyone has the same skill set as me—in which case obviously the economy would cease to function.

I agree with most of what you say about the value of diversity: people with very different tastes than me have introduced me to new tastes I wouldn't have considered, people with very different viewpoints than me have pointed things out that I would never have noticed on my own, and improved my own worldview and people with very different skill sets than me uhhh... make music I like music. But I still only value these things insofar as I find them beneficial, and would, in fantasy-land, have people who mostly align with my taste and only enough people who differ to provide novelty I find interesting, and only have people differ in perspective enough to fill in my blind spots, etc. So when it comes to difference in life goals I don't find any value in people differing from me, besides that it's probably good there are at least some children being born.

That being said I do hold freedom as a terminal value (which sits uncomfortably with mostly being approximately utilitarian) so I would detest any society that didn't make room for this difference, even though I dislike the (excess) difference. So I wonder if my views here are in some sense output-equivalent to yours.

You don't need to reply to this I just found it interesting to lay out my thoughts.

more to the point i think it's cool that we get to explore the infinite diversity of ways humans can have relationships and i get rather angry when people turn this into a discourse football